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icedmatchatae · 2 years ago

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Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter VI: Why I Love You

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Flashback fluffs, kdrama references, talks of plants, idk teenage Tae hit for me in this, but adult Tae rn ????, some swearing here and there, the plot thickens and PAIN

Word Count: 13.8k

Chapter VI: Why I Love You || Series Masterlist

“You practically live in my room with all the clothes you leave here.” Taehyung entered his bedroom carrying an extra pillow and blanket. He saw you in your daisy pajama set you received on your birthday from his parents. You sat on his full-sized bed on the right side while having his laptop on your lap. “And be careful with that! It cost a whole fortune.”

“Same goes for you. Half of my drawers are your clothes.” You muttered as you typed something on his screen. “I am also careful. I’m just trying to find a movie that we could watch.”

Ever since Taehyung got gifted a laptop for Christmas, it was practically yours as well considering how much time you’ve spent on it. He didn’t mind though, he loved sharing with you, and oftentimes, you needed it for school.

He opened up the blanket before wrapping it around you, then putting the cushion behind your back although you wouldn’t really need it since you always ended up cuddling to his side. “You wanna watch Spirited Away? Or maybe Princess Mononoke?” You asked when he sat beside you on the left and wrapped his arm around your waist.

Pecking your temple, he rested his chin on your shoulder. He tilted his head to the side as he stared in awe at you. But it went unnoticed as you scrolled through the illegal website you found weeks back. “What do you wanna watch, Blue? I’ll watch anything.”

A spark of mischief appeared in your lively irises. “Really?” You said before changing the entire website in light speed before your actual want popped up.

“Really, Boys over Flowers again? This is like the fourth time you’ve watched the entire series when it came out!” Taehyung whined. He only did so because when you’ve watched it four times, he too watched it four times. All the time. He pulled you back to the bed frame while you brought the computer with you. “Why do you love this so much?” Despite all the complaining and nagging, he obliged hopelessly to the viewing of tonight’s entertainment.

“I read the manga.” You shrugged. “I love the main guy too.” Your heart fluttered envisioning you and Gu Junpyo together.

Taehyung rolled his eyes and suppressed the pinch of jealousy running through his veins. “He’s such a dick to her though. Don’t fall for guys like that.”

“Nuh-uh! He actually cares for her, he just doesn’t know how to express them well…” You defended your celebrity crush as you played an episode. You placed the laptop in between your bodies before snuggling into Taehyung with your leg over him.

“Whatever, if you really do fall in love with some asshole, I will beat him up.” Taehyung scoffed to which you giggled. He hooked under your leg, bringing it closer and in a comfier position. “I never want you to be treated like Jandi. He tormented her!”

“So what guy should I fall for?” You asked nonchalantly. You reached for his hand to intertwine them with yours, laying it on his chest.

“Someone who will give you unconditional love and won’t intentionally hurt you, Blue.” He murmured into your supple hair. While you carelessly played with his hand, he fluttered his kisses into your strands.

The conversation died from there as the both of you watched the episode, but halfway through the show, he heard your soft snoring. The side of your cheek squished up onto his torso. You let go of his hand minutes back so you could wrap an arm over him. You were such a koala, but he loved it. That’s why he grew to love cuddling so much.

Taehyung chuckled at your slumbering form. He closed his laptop and moved it to the bed stand so that you could properly sleep. There he turned the lamp light off, darkness spilled over his room. He shifted you to your side before doing it to himself, separating your bodies.

But you let out a tiny whimper, losing the warmth. Your best friend hushed you as he circled his arms around your waist, pulling you in. The distance between you closed with your fronts touching. You latched a leg in between his and cozied up onto him.

“Night, Hyungie.” You mumbled, air-kissing him when you dozed off again. He laughed quietly at how needy you looked.

He leaned in to peck the tip of your nose, watching you sleep in his arms as always. Though the only light came through the small window, he clearly saw your beautiful resting face. The warmth in you outstretched the vicinity and onto him A true sight for him to see. He never got tired of this view—having you here with him in his arms. Nobody else in the world could break you apart. He wanted to stay like this forever and will make it happen. He was head over heels. He loved you. He loves you.

He truly was in love with you.

Taehyung stared exhaustedly at his ceiling. He hadn’t been having intense schedules for a while, yet he was still the same amount of tiredness. But he couldn’t find it in himself to close his eyes and let sleep take over his body. Maybe it was all the thoughts running through his mind, following him from left and right. The gears of his brain worked despite the tranquility of the night and the calmness of the air.

He lay on the right of the bed, craning his neck to the left of him to see his curled-up girlfriend sleeping like a log. She faced her body toward him, staying close as she dreamed away about God knows what. Yet the distance was evident, limbs weren’t sticking together. It felt cold to the touch, but he wasn’t at all fazed. He glanced absently at her snoozing features, holding no impressions.

His eyes shifted back to the unusually fascinating white ceiling as his mind began to think of you. It has been a couple of weeks since Jungkook’s party. The morning after, the guests recovered from the hangover after the headache-infused Jungkook bought everyone piping hot stews. You arrived in the kitchen quietly, back into your previous night’s dress as you went down to the dining room.

You waved shyly before announcing your departure, skipping the free meal. But Jungkook was adamant about letting you take it to go, so you accepted it as you said your goodbyes left. That was the last time Taehyung saw you.

It wasn’t on purpose though, there was an increase in schedules for them, having a few group meetings and conferences to do despite the pause on BTS’s music. In between those times, he had to go to his sessions. He’d text every now and then to check up on you, but you usually replied late since you were busy. But that was okay, you confirmed that you had eaten and slept well.

Tomorrow—well, technically, today—would be his first day off in a while, and messaged you a suggestion earlier at night if you wanted to spend it with him. It was a Sunday, so he knew you were off. You haven’t spent time alone together at all since the reunion, so he assumed this was the perfect opportunity.

He could have asked Clara, but she had family business so he canceled the offer.

You still haven’t responded, so he was getting frantic if you’d ignore him. Though you reassured him that you wanted him in your life again, Taehyung still had this unconscious belief and fear that you would take it back. He knew that you wouldn’t think that way, but it was the evil side of his mind playing with him.

Maybe he should mention you to his therapist, he somehow managed to talk over or change the subject about any updates. Besides sharing light memories with his friends, he kept any thoughts of you to himself like before. It worked in the past, but look where that led him. Now everything about you ate him alive, yet he couldn’t be more grateful for it.

Damn, he really did need help.

Dr. Im wasn’t going to judge him otherwise that was unprofessional. He still thought about it. Perhaps the idol was scared that his doctor disclosed something in him that he wouldn’t want to hear…or afraid to hear in a sense. There were certain pieces of information no one but he knew about and it stayed that way. However, sooner or later, it had to be revealed but Taehyung didn’t know how to do it.

As his angels answered his prayers, his phone lit up on the bedside drawer. Reaching out to it, his eyes adjusted to the blue light then sparkled in joy when he saw replied. It read—

Sure, I don’t mind. You’re in luck that I’m giving myself a break from studying.

Senselessly and ignoring the fact that it was one in the morning, his thumbs worked their magic to message you saying to get ready by ten. You texted instantly agreeing with no other questions, making the sides of his lips curl in excitement. He locked his phone and placed it back in its original position.

He dozed off satisfied and thrilled for the morning.

Taehyung arrived in the kitchen, fully dressed in his casual attire—a brown suit paired with his black shoes with the backing pushed down. He whistled whimsically as he found Clara also dressed for the day in her black business attire.

“You seem cheery today, baby.” She smiled as she went up to kiss his cheek. The idol paid no attention to her affection and lets it be. But she scuffled his hair to which he screeched as a complaint.

“Don’t mess it up!” Taehyung whined, despite making it messy to give the effortless look. Patting his wild strands down, Clara giggled amusingly as she clutched her handbag on the kitchen counter.

“You’re dressed nicely, do you have another schedule?” She wondered before pulling out a small mirror and her lip tint.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, seeing another text from you that you were on your way. “No, it’s my day off.”

She lavished the wand on her lips, coating it in a soft pink. “Aww, really? If I had known, I would have taken the day off too.”

“It’s fine. Isn’t it important anyway?” He shrugged as he messaged you to be safe, settling it down on the kitchen island.

The socialite sighed in response, “Yeah, it’s a soft launch of our collaboration with another company. My dad wanted you to come, but I told them you had work.”

“Thanks for taking me out then.” He mentioned with a smirk. “Parties like that are boring.”

“Don’t remind me.” She rolled her eyes. “Love my family but I cannot bear to hear another generic speech from them.” She shoved her items back into her purse and observed her boyfriend, who was in a lighter mood today. “So how come you’re dressed up? And shocking in a good mood.”

The idol rolled his eyes as he eyed her back. “Is it shocking that I’m like this?”

“Yes, because you’re usually sour.”

Taehyung grimaced at her reply, a tad offended. He didn’t want to ruin his attitude because of her. “I’m going out with ___. Haven’t been able to see her since the party.” There was a pinch in Clara’s face when he announced his day. She peered at her boyfriend with narrowed eyes, almost like slits. Taehyung challenged her stare with a rather mundane and relaxed look. He cocked an eyebrow, muttering the word, “What?”

“Just you and her? Is Seojoon Oppa or Wooshik Oppa coming?” She inquired, hands resting on her hips.

“Just us two, like old times.” Taehyung simply answered. “We haven’t hung out in a while.”

“Yes, you have.”

“Besides the party and going to her work isn’t hanging out.” He countered as he grabbed his keys.

“You’re really making an effort to spend time with her.” The socialite pointed out as she went towards the fridge to obtain a water bottle.

“Well, everyone knows, including you, that we had a falling out, so we wanted to catch up.”

“Are you free tonight? Maybe we can have dinner together.” Clara offered. “We’ll even purchase extra sides of japchae for you.”

“I guess so?” The idol was iffy on it. “Depends how long I’ll be out with ___.”

“Wha-where are you even going with her anyway?”

His phone vibrated, with your contact name popping up. You were here and quickly pocketed his phone. “Not sure, but she’s still new to the city. I might take her to the park or a village, she loves gardens too so we’ll see. Maybe even to a cat cafe, she loves animals.”

Taehyung blabbered on, listing some suggestions, while Clara stood there listening to activities she used to ask him to do. “Whatever, you both don’t do, let’s go together.” She insisted with a gentle smile.

The idol blinked at her, forcing the curves of his mouth to go up before nodding. “We can.” Clara couldn’t tell as she clapped enthusiastically, but it was an empty promise. “She’s here, so I’m heading out.” He began walking away.

“Oh, I’ll follow you out. I have to go soon too.” The socialite trailed beside him. “Tannie was also picked up by Hyungsik for a dog date.”

Once the front door opened, a gust of wind splashed the couple’s faces. The early signs of the fall season were showing with the cooling breeze, partly cloudy and sunny skies, and change in color of the once green summer, creating the perfect weather. You waited by the walkway of the porch. You sported a buttoned-down light mocha v-neck dress over a rustic cardigan. You paired on the same pair of heels from the party. Hair was straightened this time with little to no makeup on, maybe curled your lashes and tinted your lips but that was about it.

Taehyung smiled at your presence as he jogged down to your stature. You waved at him before noticing Clara too, so you greeted her as well. “Hi Clara, are you coming too?”

The socialite puts on a smile and shook her head, “No, I have some family business to do.”She noticed the similarities to your wardrobe, but you both didn’t bother to notice. “But I hope you both have fun, okay? Tae, text me anything fun.“

Taehyung looked distracted, not even hearing what his girlfriend said. You nudged him and motioned towards Clara that she spoke to him. He turned back to see her and brainlessly nodded, “Have fun at work!” He grabbed your wrist as he unlocked the car. He basically dragged you into the vehicle as he didn’t want any more interactions happening between you and her.

Clara watched his car take off with you waving back and Taehyung ignoring her entire presence. As the vehicle grew smaller and finally out of sight, the socialite grimaced. Clenching her jaw, she had many thoughts going on and was suspicious of him, especially with you. She doesn’t know if she liked it or not, but one thing was for sure, she reached for her phone and sent a message.

“Taehyung, we’ve been driving for over an hour.” Looking through the tinted windows, you watched cars passing by and disrupting your view of the water. This was maybe the third bridge he drove through. But instead of coming out into a city, a small town came into your vision with many small businesses ahead.

“I don’t like being in Seoul as often as you think. There’s a place I know of that you might like. Plus, fewer people recognize me or just leave me alone compared to the city.” You stayed silent and nodded, but he knew you listened carefully. “Hmmm, you don’t like my driving?” He merely questioned as he took a left turn. “I would assume with the excellent music playlist and scenery would have you enjoying the ride.”

“Well, this is the first time I’ve seen you driving, let alone be in a car with just you.” You stated, turning back to see him focus on the road. You noticed how he removed his blazer and rolled up his sleeves. His veins were visibly seen through his honey skin. He only used one hand and held the steering wheel at the very bottom. “I’m not complaining though.”

The idol snuffed, glancing at you quickly before staring forward. “Must be weird then. We would used to walk, take the bus, or the train together.”

“Not weird…just been a while.” Shaking your head, you went back to sightseeing out your passenger window.

Taehyung’s eyes constantly shifted from gawking at you to the highway. Tightening his grip on the wheel, he used his unoccupied hand to listen to an old song that came up into shuffle. At the first beat of the song, your head shot towards the stereo receiver.

You snorted, completely incredulous at the music choice. “Jesus Christ, why do you have this on your playlist?” A smile crept up as the hit of nostalgia washed your face.

His signature boxy grin came up while watching you as he shrugged, “It’s all on shuffle. I’ve never heard it in a while, so I’m surprised as you are.”

“Do you still know the lyrics?”

“Of course, I do. You made me learn it from all the times we’ve heard it.” He scoffed as if the question shouldn’t have been asked in the first place. The traffic light turned red, making the vehicle at a stop.

“Well, let’s put it to the test then!” You challenged before amplifying the volume.

You both then sang the lyrics to the song, “Almost paradise!! A warmer day than the sun, the look in your eyes. It’s like having the whole world!” While at the stoplight, Taehyung finally focused his attention on the passenger’s seat to fully sing to you. “In my life!! Like a light in my weary life, you came to me and gave me love. If only I could keep it forever!”

“You are all of my love!” Taehyung sang or rather shouted.

“You are all of my life!” You continued.

“With my everything, I love you!!!” You sang together right before the light went back to green. While resuming the drive, you fell into a pit of laughter through what was once your favorite drama. You were surprisingly impressed that you remembered it, not seeing the show in ten years. But guess that’s what happens when you watched it eight times.

On the other hand, Taehyung’s body felt lighter after that. A very tiny memory was a core one at that moment, cherishing simpler times. It felt good, felt so right. The only thing he wished for was for the light to stay red a little longer.

“You still love plants, right?” He asked as you both entered the establishment. Eyes sparkled in delight when you scoped the nursery filled with various plants you’ve grown to learn over the years. Ranging from foliage to blooming to only in-season ones. It was getting colder and cloudier in Korea, so there were indoor growing lights built about the jungle of greenery. “Cats too?”

The place he brought you was also part of a cat cafe, so it combined two of your favorite interests into one. Not many individuals were here at the moment as the place opened for the day not too long ago. Scanning below you, you spotted different breeds of cats walking around, playing with scattered toys, napping, and laying down on towers

“Surprise you remembered that.” You mumbled, suppressing the excitement within you when you spotted a black feline strutting up to your form. Without thought, you picked the cat up and it immediately warmed up and trusted you. You cooed at the sight of its eyes slowly closing and melting into your arms.

Taehyung’s eyes shimmered at your interaction once again. He always knew how weak you were for animals. Back in Geochang, you would pet each chicken at his grandmother’s farm and play with other neighbors’ dogs every time you walked home together. You loved them and they loved you back.

“Why would I forget these things about you?” The idol inquired as he followed behind. You were distracted by all the plants and the kitties everywhere. “Plants were your hobby and animals were your interests.”

You turned back to him with an amused grin while he cocked an eyebrow playfully at you. He then stepped forward to reach out a hand toward the black cat. His finger stroked its head, and once he got approval, he ran his hands through the ebony coating.

“You love animals too.” You spoke up as you joined him in caressing the animal in your arms. “We used to be late in elementary school because we played with Banchan along the way.” The familiar mention of the Shiba Inu that used to live in the neighborhood brought many memories between you two. If possible, the same ones replayed in your heads.

On your first day of another school year, while holding hands, you and Taehyung walked a route your grandparents made to ensure safety for a six and seven-year-old. Though you both went to the same elementary school as his younger sister and brother, Taehyung was usually the last one to get out of bed so his siblings never bothered to wait for him and left earlier. But you did, so he’d never be lonely and you loved being with him.

However, it was very dangerous because you two were easily distracted especially regarding your interests. One of them being animals. That’s where Banchan the Shiba Inu came in because you quickly noticed the dog outside, held back by his leash. You ran up to him to give him some love while Taehyung wasn’t too far behind. Once the boy scratched his tummy, Banchan licked his face jubilantly, letting out laughter from the both of you.

Eventually, the owners, who were a sweet fairly young couple, heard your giggles and told you to go to school as it was already late into the schedule but promised that you could play with their dog after school. Though they received pouts and whines, you obliged and left for the school day, then came back once the day was over.

Needless to say, it became an occurring “Banchan morning love” time followed by being late for the past month, getting light scoldings from his parents and your grandparents after getting calls from your school. But the couple was kind enough to both of you by giving every Saturday dedicated to playing with Banchan, in exchange for being punctual. This continued until the couple moved out of Geochang the next year, bidding goodbye to your furry friend.

“He was too fluffy to not pet!” Taehyung still reasoned after all those years passed. His hand dropped to his side when he found an orange feline, cautiously stalking toward him. Watching his every move, the apricot-hued animal eventually slammed its body onto the idol, making him laugh at the aggressive begging to be pet. He carried it into his arms and paced beside you. “You have this Shiba Inu just hanging outside your house. Not expecting little kids to just go and play??”

You chuckled as those words were probably verbatim of our reasonings to his parents. “We still got our way.” Whilst holding the cuddly cat buddy, you roamed around the cafe nursery. The plant selection was gorgeous and difficult to even buy just one. You would buy one, but…now wasn’t a time to be spending willy-nilly.

“Do you still have your plant collection?” Taehyung asked, recollecting the memories of you repotting, watering, and talking to your babies (what you called them).

You sighed as you grazed your thumb over a leaf of a little monstera deliciosa. “No, unfortunately, I donated them away to the children’s center back home before I left. I wasn’t able to bring them all and I knew no one would be caring for them either.”

Taehyung’s mind recaptured memories of you and your grandmother tending toward the little porch garden. He never understood the immense hobby for it, but you enjoyed your plants and with that, he used to help you every now even educating himself. There were instances where he surprised Namjoon with his vast knowledge of certain plants and the caring they needed.

However, knowing that you’ve shared this hobby with your grandmother who passed long ago, it saddened him knowing you weren’t able to continue something you loved anymore, especially when it was with your grandmother. “H-how about your grandfather? He could have taken care of them.”

Something in your eyes peeked through. No spark, no light, it was rather dark, almost solemn but obscure. Taehyung couldn’t fully comprehend what it meant. To the best of his knowledge, the look seemed similar to an occurrence when you were younger but it was hard to tell. He hated not knowing.

Yet he had to remind himself his memories with you weren’t enough to know everything about who you were now and your current situations. How you used to be doesn’t equate to who you are now. But it was hard not to.

“Uh, just too old and such.” You rushed as you paid attention to the section of Devil’s Ivy. “Plus, his focus was on the fruits and vegetables in the land. It would be too much for him to handle on top of that.” You seemed a bit frazzled when you spoke, most likely not wanting to talk anymore about it. So you decided to change the topic, “Are you getting anything?” You moved further into the back of the nursery.

“I’m fine with getting some brunch in the cafe, but did you want anything?” He asked before settling the orange cat down. You did the same to your black one but plastered a kiss on its head before letting it free with its friends. Taehyung took notice of it and a side of his lips curved up.

“Uhh, no. I’m okay.” You shook your head, continuing to stare at the beautiful Peace lily plants. They didn’t have their flowers, but they were beautiful all year round. But Taehyung trailed your line of sight at them and saw a bit of longing and want. “You know Peace lily plants, or as they are scientifically called, Spathiphyllum, are known for their air-purifying abilities, and grow in a bright spot out of direct sunlight. They’re a bringer of peace, especially when they bloom their white flowers.” You rambled on with your in-hand facts as he listened. He never really understood, but somehow absorbed it easily.

Cutting your long speech, he commented, “Weren’t these your first plant?”

Stopping your mouth from moving, you blinked at him dumbstruck at his sharp mind. “How could you ev—I got Penny before I met you!” Yes, you named your Peace lily Penny, an American name but it was so easy to remember. And yes, your Peace lily was also a girl.

“You talked to her every day since we met before we would play. You talked to me about her and how special she was, and how excited you were every time she bloomed flowers.” Taehyung listed it down humorously and you couldn’t help but be stunned that he remembered all of that at the top of his head. “Also how could I forget when you cried when she died and found out they only last three to five years.”

Jesus Christ, you too remembered that day clearly. When you were eight, Penny died on you no matter how much you talked to her and fed water to her and drooping leaves. You wept into your grandmother’s arms and then into Taehyung’s before your grandmother explained that plants like Penny don’t last as long, it was part of their cycle.

Still, you were heartbroken, so to cheer you up, Taehyung gathered his entire household and yours to make a funeral, commemorating Penny, your first plant.

“I didn’t know!” You rolled your eyes, then cringed at the thought of your utter despair for a plant. “Then again, you and I both know death loves to come my way.”

You said it as a joke, but then Taehyung’s pupils dilated even choking on his spit. He tapped on his chest harshly while you rubbed his back as a sign of concern and comfort. Once he settled down into a calmer state, you said, “Guess my dark sense of humor is surprising to you?”

Of course, it was. Death was always a sensitive topic, especially experiencing it at a young age. You whined easily when your parents were mentioned or the words “dead” or “die” came into the conversation. “More so.” Taehyung shrugged worryingly in contrast to your light demeanor.

“It’s easier to cope with it.” You hummed, playing with the Peace lily’s bright green leaves. “Death, life, and especially when the people you love aren’t your life anymore.” You glanced back at his shocked state, observing the sudden pain in his eyes. You didn’t mean to say it like that, but it became a habit that you couldn’t stop yourself to do.

Taehyung said no comment on it, seeing as how casual you looked after you said that. He lets it be and wanted to lighten the mood. He shook himself out of the shock and cleared his throat. “If you want it, I’ll buy it for you.”

“No, I wouldn’t want that.” You scoffed before rolling your eyes.

“But I want to.” He pouted before inspecting the pots of Peace lilies for the perfect one. “Consider it as a gift. I invited you out anyway.”

“Taehyung, no!”

“Why not?!”

“Buying things is too much for me…” You mumbled, now fiddling with your fingers. Hoping he would understand, you also said, “They cost too.”

He hummed in response. “Does it look like I care about the cost? I’m not bragging but I am a world star.” You furrowed your eyebrows at his haughty explanation, it was quite entertaining. He meant well, but the words weren’t supporting him. He too caught on and wanted to mentally punch himself. “No, that’s no—lemme rewind.” You chuckled softly at his tense state as you crossed your arms over yourself. “I have a bit more spending money compared to when we were teens, so I’d like to give you things that you desire and want.”

You squinted at what he said, thinking very wrongly of it. “I’m not saying that it is, but you sounded like a sugar daddy.”

He opened his mouth, but quickly closed it, not knowing how to even respond to that. But he disregarded what you said. “The point is—I want to give things. I don’t mind paying. I love giving gifts. I’m a gift giver, to my friends, and family, and that also includes you, ___.”

Your teeth were in between your lips, still, not all convinced. “I still need to pay you back for the hospital bill.”

“That’s weeks ago and I don’t recall any mentions of you paying me back.” He retorted, completely baffled by your weak reasoning. “I wouldn’t have agreed either, so let that go.”

“Bu—”

“You’ve been eyeing these plants since we came here, I know you want them.” He lifted the perfect pot of Peace lily. The pigment held the summer vibrancy despite the Fall weather coming soon. A ray of leaves fanned out happily and proudly to its blossomed curve. It was still a baby, being held from the bottom of the terracotta pot with a single hand of Taehyung’s. “Even if you say no, I’ll still get them.”

“This one you picked up does have a nice shape to it.” You pointed out, but he knew you were inching to accept his offer.

“You also can start a collection here. I’ll even help you tend to them unless you want me to.”

“You do realize plants and the care are expensive.”

“Then I’ll provide them for you.”

“Okay, that’s too mu—”

“You loved planting, ___, but you had to stop.” He blurted out, zipping up any reasoning from you. “You did it with your grandmother too, it was something you bonded together over. Something you remembered her with.” He saw your eyes move around yet still managed the gaze you gave him. “I don’t want you to lose that.”

The mentioning of your grandmother ached your heart. It has been a while since you spoke about her. The vivid images of her teaching you about all those plants popped to mind, nostalgically and memorially. It was because of her, you found this loving hobby of plant care and it was something you never wanted to let go of, even if you left for Seoul.

Your eyes watered, but not enough for them to spill. You blinked continuously as you controlled your breath. You simply nodded, completely sold on what Taehyung said. “I’ll get him.” You retrieved the pot into your two hands as you scanned your new baby.

A bright smile morphed onto Taehyung’s face as he heard little whispers from you to the Peace lily. “Him now?” You hummed as you grinned happily. “Does he have a name?”

“Don’t know…maybe after you? Tae?” You quipped to which he laughed.

“Me? Why? You never named your plants after any of us?” He chirped as he looked at the plant. “But Tae seems nice for him.”

“They are known to be dramatic.” You informed. “They droop and act like they’re dying if you don’t water them or give attention.”

“Did you just insult me?” He gasped, putting a hand over his chest as if he was offended.

“No, it’s fact.” You snorted as you carried your baby in the cafe’s direction. “I’ve seen those Run BTS episodes.” Taehyung chuckled more as he retrieved more equipment you needed into his hands and arms.

You highlighted once again that you followed the band and its entertainment beyond music. It still stunned him, but only because he didn’t think you’d do so after what happened. He even talked about it briefly before. But you said that despite the ending of your friendship, you were tremendously proud of him and his members’ success. You loved the message they conveyed and all that they’ve done to endure it.

Not enough words or presents would express his gratitude towards you. He felt undeserving of your gentle actions and affable behavior, yet he was very selfish to continue to want it. In his eyes, you were never a pushover or an attached brat. You gave all that you could to those you loved because they were who you had in life, the only ones. They were the only ones who’ve seen the vulnerability and dedication in you and you weren’t willing to spread it as often even if you did. You were needy in the best of ways because it showed you also wanted a shoulder to lean on, especially maturing at a very early age.

There were so many things about you that screamed perfection, caring, warm-hearted, and resiliency. Just you in general, and Taehyung was eternally grateful to see it through his own very eyes as well as experience the way you gave yourself and spoke to him with so much passion and tenderness. No one was more true than you, his Blue.

In the past, there were so many reasons why Taehyung loved you, and unexpectedly—at least to him—why he hopelessly fell in love with you.

Knowing each other since a young age and being best friends, it was obvious how much Taehyung loved you. He always loved you, even telling it to you many times every day. It was so easy to say and he meant it. He would do anything for you. He cared and wanted to protect you. You even said it back, so it was natural to speak about love within your relationship.

However, loving and being in love was not as obvious. There was a fine line between the two that was difficult to pinpoint. It often gets the betterment of people, even when they’re older and wiser. You can bounce from one to the other all you want without realizing it, but you eventually had to choose a side.

In Taehyung’s case, he learned about this decision at the beginning of his teenage years. In his first year of high school and when he first joined his soccer club, his older players would bring up topics about sex and love more than they should. Teammates were split in half, wanting sex and wanting love. He didn’t listen as much, but he did recall somewhere along the lines of having a partner to hold and cherish eternally.

With that, he went to his father regarding the love his teammates were talking about. “Well, the definition of love is very broad and can be interpreted many ways, son.” His father, Jitae, began, cocking his head to the side in thought.

“They talked about having someone to hold and adore eternally,” Taehyung repeated from his memories.

“Hmm, so I guess my example would be me and your mom.” Jitae brought out as he clapped his hands together. “Because I love having her by my side and being by her side. I’m in love with your mom, and that will never change.”

“In love?” He questioned, not getting what that meant. “Don’t you love us? We’re your kids!”

His father laughed endearingly at his son. “Of course, I love you, and Eunjeong, and Sungyeon. I love all of you! You three gave me all the more reasons to love and stay on Earth.” He defended. “However, loving and being in love are different. The love I have for your mom is different from my love for my kids.”

“What did you mean?”

“I certainly don’t want to go into detail, but I’m head over heels for your mom. I’ve been way before we had you three. You kids gave me a reason to stay on Earth, she gave me a reason to be alive. Every time I look at her, my heart starts racing or skips a beat. I’m deeply committed to her as she does to me. She’s my partner, my wife. She’s my connection, she makes me feel better, do greater, a comfort.” Jitae explained thoroughly. “I would do anything for her.”

While Taehyung processed these thoughts and explanations, he had certain questions. “Will I have that? Do I have that now?”

“I hope that you’ll have that.” Smiling, his father patted down his son’s hair. “And to answer your second question, you’re still young. I found your mom when we were in our 20s, so there’s a lot of time. But there are possibilities.”

“Like?”

“Well, do you have someone who you’re in love with?” Jitae picked out as he stared at Taehyung. “Having a connection, to make you feel better, do greater, your comfort. Heart skips every time. You would do anything for them.”

Taehyung had no answer as he tried his best to think with his developing adolescent brain. Jitae had a specific person in mind but decided not to say anything for his son to figure it out himself.

Time passed, yet his mind stayed stagnant with this idea. It intrigued him to an extent, wondering if he would ever have the experience of feeling how his dad felt toward his mom. He knew that he loved all around, his parents, his siblings, his friends, your grandparents, and of course, you. But the act of being in love?

He thought about what his father had told him, being connected, feeling better, and doing better. A comfort in his life, and would do anything for them. The list was easy to eliminate options. Well, there was nothing to cancel out because all those traits went straight to you. You were the first person that popped into his head.

Strange though…or rather perplexed to say the least. How would it be possible? He loved you, that was a given, but in love? You weren’t a partner or wife, you were his best friend, his Blue! Does that even suffice?

Suddenly a realization was brought upon him. Heart beating fast, skipping beats? He doesn’t think he has ever gotten that from you. He took you into his arms many times, even intertwining his fingers together with yours. He kissed your temples, head, and cheeks. Yet nothing happened to his heart.

Maybe you weren’t the one he was in love with. His father did say that he was still young and had a lot of years ahead. Why did this even bug his mind anyway? Why was he thinking too much about this? He was a teenager; he needed to think about other things like gaming, friends, and sleep. Anything really besides love.

He did love you though and wouldn’t give up anything in the world to not have that feeling anymore.

However, it took a while for him to see how special you so were to him. And how did he find out?

You had your first crush.

It was some boy named Jinhwan in your class. He was a kind and smart boy from what you told him and even let you borrow his pen when yours ran out of ink. You partnered up with him one day on an assignment and you have gotten to know him better. Days after he kept talking to you during breaks and sometimes bypassing. Each encounter felt more whimsical and fluttering to your heart, and eventually, you realized that you had a crush on him.

However, get this—you didn’t tell Taehyung.

You surprisingly spoke to his sister, which shocked and insulted him. He didn’t understand why because he was your best friend after all. All that information was from Eunjeong who assumed that you told him. New flash, you didn’t and it flabbergasted the boy.

He felt offended that you didn’t tell him and told his sister. His sister?? Last thing he remembered he was your best friend, not her. You told him everything, you even told him when you got your first period before anyone else. Why’d you tell her and not him?

There was a slight tinge of jealousy coursing through his body. Not sharing was partial towards his emotion, but the primary reason was the very thought of you liking another boy.

It was weird and uncomfortable for him. Like why have a crush on a boy that you met at your school? Gross. QYou practically knew nothing about him except that that Jinhyuk boy was nice, but that wasn’t even a fact and that was based on judgment by the individual. If you had a crush on someone, it should be someone that you knew for a long time, who understood you, who cherished you, who kept you in their arms at all times, and who would give the world to you. Someone like hi—

Yeah, he realized he was in love with you.

But he suppressed them right now to be upset, but not at you though. Only the fact that you didn’t tell him. Whether or not he was in love with you, but he really was, you didn’t inform him of something important that could change your life. He was about to march to your house when Eunjeong stopped him to inform him that you stayed back at school because Jinhwan asked to speak with you. Rumor has it that he was going to confess to you, indicating he too had a crush on you. Mutual pining. And that made Taehyung’s heart sink into an abysmal hole.

Fuck, it was too late.

Taehyung waited on the steps of your front porch, staring down at his feet. Hours passed since school ended and there was no sight of you near. He felt worried, upset, sad, and all various kinds of emotions right now, but most importantly, in love. In love with you.

Why didn’t he notice it any sooner? Then again, nothing changed between you two. Yeah, you were getting older, developing maturely and elegantly. But you were you, his Blue. He was him, your Hyungie. There was no difference within your dynamic, other than getting closer to one another as the seconds went on. So if this was true, then was he in love with you this whole time? How would that even be possible? He was a child when he met you. Yet again, he always loved you since the moment he met you.

The sound of shoes dragging along the concrete and sniffles broke his running mind. Once he raised his head, he was met with your puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Mouth quivered loosely with every rapid gasp coming out of you to stop the weeping of your cries. His mind went full alarm as he shot up from the stairs to go up to you.

With every step, he cautiously observed you. You were fighting back the sobs as you tried pursing your lips together. But when he puts you in between his arms with his hands around your back, he asked, “My Blue, what happened? What did he do to you?”

You broke every resistance inside of you and cried like a baby into his chest. The same exact cry when you ran away after Jinhwan stole your first kiss and embarrassed you by laughing at your confession in front of his friends. Little did you know it was all recorded, or when you were crying your poor self out behind a building, so then he proceeded to upload it online for everyone.

So you bawled out even more so until you were tired of crying and mindlessly walked home. But you saw your worried best friend waiting for you, ready to give you the comfort you needed and deserved. Your entire soul collapsed onto him.

“Hy-Hyun-Hyungie!” You keened, slithering your arms over his chest as you gripped onto his uniform shirt that you drenched in your tears. “I-I-I—”

“Shhh, no. It’s okay. You’re safe, Blue.” He shushed you as he had one hand over your head and the other hooked around your waist. Your form bounced as your sobbing overpowered your breathing. “I’m here now. Don’t worry. I’ll always be here.”

After hours passed once again, you, fortunately, stopped shedding tears though your emotions were still heightened and intense. You had to lie to your grandparents and say that you were sick to not go to school the following day. They knew you weren’t ill, but they knew something was up since it was uncommon of you. They let you be and hoped it’d make you feel okay.

Taehyung never left your side, having you in his arms or within reach. He even slept over for the night. But once it hit your “bedtime,” your minds were still awake. Your best friend thought it was a good idea for you to escape for the time being, so you both did. And what better way than to sneak out of your window in the dead of night to go to the park and hang out under the blossoming tree? It was your favorite pastime together after discovering that you could do things without your grandparents and his parents knowing.

When the gentle breeze touched your skin, the serenity of the starry sky pricked with specks of stars, and no one else but your best friend was right by your side. You let the setting calm every nerve in you, closing your eyes and taking the deepest breaths.

Taehyung kissed your hair before resting his cheek on the top of your head. His growth spurge over the winter time let him be much bigger than your stature. He hated seeing you like that, heartbroken, undeserving of what happened to you, and crying over some stupid ass boy who doesn’t deserve shit from you or anyone. He wanted to beat this boy up, but you told him no because he wasn’t worth it and you hated violence. He had to oblige, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t call his sister up and tell her to punch him in the throat.

“How are you feeling now, Blue?” He whispered, staring up at the night before you.

“Less crappy, but better now.” You sighed, laying your head on his shoulder and leaning closer toward his form. “I feel like an idiot.”

“No, you’re not. Those boys were dicks and Jinseok guy was a complete asshole.” Taehyung countered, feeling upset that you were talking down upon yourself. “You didn’t deserve anything that was given to you like that.”

“Still, I fell for it.” You frowned as you stared down at your fingers playing with each other. “I should have known. No boy ever liked me because I’m ugl—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” He interjected sharply, his restrained vocal cords due to puberty somehow helped his voice drop an octave. “Don’t ever succumb your worth with pea-minded small dick boys.”

“Then why aren’t I liked by anyone?” You complained, balling your hands into fists as you tried controlling the tears that threatened to come out again. “So many of my peers got confessions, always overheard boys talk about how pretty my classmates were, or even asked me about Eunjeong because she thought she was cute and I knew her.”

“Blue—”

“And don’t get me started on you.” Your attention went on him and his large irises looking back questionably. “You told me about all the confessions you had from this past year alone and how you rejected them all, but you still keep getting them.”

“___—”

“I mean it’s a given that you’ve always been handsome and always nice and caring to others. I just feel so shitty about myself because I don’t ever feel confident in myself, as a best friend and as a—”

“No!” Taehyung shouted, causing you to flinch and pause your rambling. His mind was all over the place. First, you called him handsome and while you did consistently mention it in the past, this was the first time he noticed how much his heart was racing and how he was getting squirrels in his stomach.

Second, he didn’t like hearing your self-deprecations at all. Did you really think so lowly of yourself? Not once did you show any signs. It wasn’t right and he should have caught on earlier.

“Stop doing that. Stop talking bad about yourself.” He shook his head before reaching out for your hands to hold. “And don’t compare yourself to others, Blue.”

“How can I not? I’m surrounded by it all the time, aka you!”

“I-I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

“No, no. Not you. I’m sorry. I—” You stopped yourself, trying to collect your thoughts into a reasoning argument. “I just feel like I’m not good enough sometimes. Like I guess, this was more than that stupid prank and lie Jinhwan did or not being liked by anyone. Like, I’m never enough to satisfy or be worth something in someone’s life.”

For some odd reason, he couldn’t help but chuckle. Sure, your words were raw and from the depths of your heart but really? Not enough to be worth something in someone’s life? Seemed a little bit exaggerated.

Hearing his laughter, your eyebrows pinched together and cheeks puffed into anger at his response. But before you could even get a single sound out of you, he commented, “Now that’s an insult to me.”

Now your expression resembled confusion, “What do you m—”

“Why would you even say something like that when you’re literally everything in my life?”

His words punched you in the throat, taking your very breath away. “D-don’t—you don’t mean that! I said something, not—”

“Now why would I lie? I never lie to you! I do mean that, and I said everything because you are everything!” Taehyung retorted. He used one hand to hold your waist, pulling you into his lap. Sitting in between his legs, you laid back onto his chest as his chin stayed on your shoulder. “You mean so much more than you could ever imagine to me. Y-yo-you’re my best friend, Blue. I can’t have you think that you’re any less for others, me, and yourself especially. It breaks my heart knowing that I’m not helping you through that.”

“Don’t carry my burden on you.” You muttered quietly. “My whole self-esteem is just at its low and blowing out of proportion. I just became a teenager. You can’t really help me on this one.”

“I bet I can.” His eyes lit up, making you turn back to see him. Your faces were centimeters away. While you stared casually at his face, he felt his breathing slipping away at the gorgeous sight of you under the fluorescent moon. He managed to catch him without notice and continued. “I—I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve seen in my entire life, and I’m blessed that I get to see you every single day. If people don’t see it, they weren’t gifted with seeing the true beauty that you hold.”

You gawked wordlessly, pupils dilating by the second as he spoke with endearment and authenticity. Heartbeat fastened as he spoke on. “___ ___, you’ve been and always will be worth it, in my life, in your grandparents’ life, my family’s, anyone who comes across you. Don’t support that mindset with people of less importance in your life because it doesn’t help you. Focus on who matters, like you.”

“I can help by reminding you to not speak such foulness about yourself, pointing out the way you impact my and your loved ones’ lives, and showing you how beautiful you are because you truly are.” Using his unoccupied hand, he pushed a strand out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. “These little boys must have dead skin cells coming out of their shit-stained mouths if they don’t think you, ___ ___, are beautiful.”

You blinked rapidly and your lower lips pouted out as if it was the only reaction you could give. The little voice in your head begged to differ. But with his piercing coffee-swirled eyes at you, it slowly diminished and lowered its volume. It was hard to tell with your conscious, but you believed him even if it was just a little bit.

You saw him leaning closer, his eyes shut smoothly. Staying still but eyes widening with every centimeter closer, your mind was on blast, anticipating his next move. However, he did a little turn-up and kissed the tip of your nose lightly.

You shook your head out of surprise. Why did you expect something else? Of course, Taehyung was always affectionate toward you. You couldn’t react any further as he brought you closer to him and peppered kisses onto your shoulder. You blinked away and focused straight into the night, trying to relax.

“The only thing I wish I could do was to stop that kiss from happening.” He spoke again with a huff. “I’m sorry your first kiss was with that fucking jerk. God, are you sure you don’t want me to beat him up?”

There the tenseness you didn’t realize you had in your body blew away and was replaced by laughter. “You shouldn’t resort to violence. He was a dick, but I can’t change the past. I wished too though.”

“Which is why you should always come to me first before you go do something.” Taehyung scolded in a know-it-all way, making you roll your eyes in defense. “I didn’t even know you had a crush until Eunjeong told me and she only did so because she thought I knew already! Why didn’t you tell me, Blue?”

Your form suddenly shrunk and sunk into his body, feeling the hotness steaming up your cheeks. “I know I tell you everything, but this was different…”

“How is it different?”

“I-I-I needed a girl’s opinion.”

“Oh.” Was all he could say. It made sense, you were a girl while he was a boy. There were certain things he may not understand from a guy’s perspective and he couldn’t defend himself.

“Don’t worry. I learned my lesson. If I like someone, I’ll be sure to tell you.” You promised.

But you never did.

“And I will do the same back.” He added, to open your communication together.

“You know I don’t think you ever told me you had a crush on someone.” You mentioned, tilting your head as you gazed into the distance with wonder.

You heard a deep chuckle followed by a vibration on your back. “That’s because back then I don’t think I liked someone enough to consider it a crush.”

“Then surely, you have someone that you like. I mean you’re in high school too with new people.”

“Yes, I’m in high school but that doesn’t mean anything.” He shrugged as he nuzzled into your neck, making you giggle at the ticklishness.

“So you don’t like any girl, or guy, or someone?” You tried your best not to assume anything. Since he didn’t like anyone, you didn’t know what he liked.

He laughed again, throwing his head back. “You’re so silly sometimes.” Exhaling, he smiled warmly while squeezing your hand. You focused on him with your doe eyes, an innocent smile faint on your lips. He looked down for a split second, hoping you didn’t notice. Judging by the continued look on your face, you weren’t seeing anything out of the ordinary. But he could see everything changing in him, in you, and between each other.

He was stuck in this conundrum. It would be selfish of him to tell you how he felt after getting your heart broken by another. You most likely won’t reciprocate back and he doesn’t even know how you think of him beyond being his best friend. He also didn’t want to ruin the friendship, the strong bond you two created for nearly ten years to be destroyed because he caught feelings for you. He loves you. Dear God, he was in love with you and only you.

But he couldn’t do it. And he didn’t know if he will ever.

“I-If-If I like someone, I’ll be sure to tell you, Blue.” He replied carefully as his fingers tapped over the smooth skin on the back of your hands.

But he never did.

“‘Kay!” You didn’t think any more of it. In fact, you felt a whole lot better after talking to Taehyung. He always knew how to reassure you about your insecurities and dilemmas your teenage brain liked to give you and cause harm. Your fingers found their way to intertwine with his. “At least I know I’ll always have one guy in my life that I’ll love.” His eyes widened, lips slightly parting. “I will always love you, Hyungie.” You pressed your lips onto his soft cheek before you laid your head onto the crevice of his shoulder.

He doesn’t know if you felt how hard his heart thumped in his chest. If you did, you don’t bother bringing it up. He doesn’t know this feeling, was it good or bad? But having you in his arms felt so perfect. Yet the fear of you finding out dreaded his entire soul. It would break him if something were to happen between you two. Was this what being in love was like? Why was it scaring him?

“A-and I will always love you, Blue.” He meant it at the bottom of his heart, but he didn’t mean it in the way you did.

And he doesn’t think it would be from here on.

You made it through the day with Taehyung. An invisible thin barrier held you back earlier in the day, but it eventually evaporated the more you talked to him, like how you were before. You don’t know how many hours passed in that cafe because together you spent all that time eating and playing with the cats. You opened up a little more to him and told him about your college years and why you chose to move to Seoul.

You explained how stagnant life has been for you for a while and thought you’d lead to nowhere if you continued to stay in the area you lived for your entire life. You managed to get by and thought of suppressing the feeling until your grandfather convinced you. You were very much hesitant, as it was going to be out of your comfort zone, but you and he both knew it was the right decision to make. It was also the only school that accepted you that wasn’t in Geochang, because it was the only one you applied for that wasn’t Geochang.

Taehyung did try to ask a question about your grandfather, but he noticed how brief and vague your answers were. You changed the subject and turned it on him when he did so. Maybe you weren’t ready to talk about it? Or you just didn’t want to tell him. Ever since his family moved as well as the passing of your grandmothers, contact has been lost through the years. Even if Taehyung tried to contact back, he wouldn’t know if you were still in Geochang or not and unfortunately, he did not have the time to check.

Nonetheless, the two of you enjoyed your time together. Of course, while staying hidden for Taehyung’s sake. After the cafe, he drove back into the city where he kinda took you shopping. You say kinda because he attempted to buy things for you and you said no, but he didn’t care so you just walked away from him. He got the message and begged for forgiveness, but it was all fine. You treated him corn dogs as a light snack or at least attempted to because when you pulled out of your wallet, he tapped his card with ease.

When the sun went down, you assumed the day was over, but not for the idol. He took you to a jazz nightclub he has been dying to go to for ages. Everyone he invited was always busy or tired. He even invited Clara, and they were about to go but she got sick.

The opportunity was right there, so Taehyung insisted. You didn’t mind at all, you were excited about it. By the end of the time there, you loved every second of it, even catching some songs here and there. It surprised him, but he never realized until now that it was you who introduced him to the love of jazz.

Nighttime fell when the both of you got out, and the city lights illuminated the area. For a Sunday night, it was pretty crowded and Taehyung suggested going somewhere quiet. You were about to protest that it was time to go home, but your stomach gargled aloud that the idol wanted to put food in you right away. Knowing he wasn’t taking a no on this one, you gave up.

But you settled for some street food, rice and fish cakes, bibimmyeon, suyuk,and ice cream for dessert. Taehyung knew a nearby park and thought it’d be nice to eat under a tree, getting away from all the people. So here you were—stomachs filled to the brim and enjoying the nice view from where you say while tasting the sweet confection.

Once in a while, Taehyung mentioned memories of him and his members regarding instances perfect for the moment. This one was about the park. “I used to come here a lot with Jimin actually, when we were younger. It was always secluded, so even after debut, no one was around.”

“I wonder why? This place is amazing at night.” Your eyes roamed at the calm scenery. The cooling autumn wind caressed you while the hours of darkness cascaded around. The stars weren’t as prominent, but they were exchanged by the blinking lights of the city buildings and skyscrapers.

It almost felt like deja vu.

Taehyung looked over towards you and noticed how you stared into the outlook. A tender grin crept on your mouth as you slowly closed your eyes.

“Never bothered to ask that when you finally get privacy.” He muttered as he finished his ice cream and threw it in the trash bag you made. “Been a while since I came here though. I miss it here. Jimin would also like it too.”

A giggle came out of you, “You talk about your members a lot.”

“I-Is-Is that noticeable?” A peak of blush swiped across his cheeks.

“Well, from the whole day, yeah. I practically know everything about them through you.” You snuffed in delight. “It’s nice though. You care about them. I’m sure with the break, you don’t see them as often?”

“Yeah, the last time I saw everyone together was Jungkook’s party. Everyone is doing their own thing.” Taehyung informed with a deep sigh. “I do care about them, and miss them. But lately, it’s a bit of bother sometimes that I’m glad I’m away from them.”

You flung your eyes open in shock before turning to meet his attention. “What do you mean?”

“There’s just a lot going on in my own life, and I feel like they coddle or smother me with things.” He explained, but not enough to give too many details. He has yet to tell you what his current situation was and was a bit insecure about it. He knew you wouldn’t judge, you were the last person he’d ever think to judge, but the timing wasn’t right. He recently got you back into his life, but he thought it would be too much for you to find out what happened to your best friend all these years in between. A bit ashamed, really.

Unlike him, you don’t further speculate. You hummed in response, moving forward from the topic. But you do say, “As you care for them, they care for you even if it’s the type you don’t want.”

He didn’t have any response to that. Instead, he shifted the topic to something lighter to mend his curiosity. “You know how you’ve been following the group and all,” The idol began and you waited for him to continue. “So who’s your favorite in the group?”

With that, a hearty laugh spewed out of your lips with your shoulders shaking. Taehyung’s eyes widened at your giddy expression. This was the first time he heard you laugh so hard since the reunion. If anything, in a while for that matter. He missed that wonderful sound, seeing the happiness and enjoyment shine off of you. It was the best thing he ever experienced with you.

“Why?” You asked as the giggling died down.

“I mean you’ve seen our content and finally met the guys, so I’m sure you would have a favorite.” Taehyung reasoned as he leaned back into the tree trunk. “Despite loving us equally, fans have those bias and bias wreckers, right?”

“They would freak out if they knew that you knew that.” You said before exhaling deeply. “I guess I do have a favorite.”

“Who?” He sounded way too excited there, then realized you probably never chose him so he shrunk into his body.

“Do you think it would have been you?” You inquired humorously.

“A-At first, but then, I forgot we’ve stopped talking and…you hated me.”

You observed his behavior, feeling rather unguarded of himself when he spoke. You sensed the shame seeping out of him. “Yeah, we didn’t talk but I never hated you, Taehyung.” You licked your lips, remembering the earlier times when you did say those hurtful words. “I did say it back then, but as I said, I never meant it.”

“So, does that mean I was your favorite?” His pupils sparkled underneath the moonlight.

“No, it’s Hoseok.” You replied scoffingly. “Even if I didn’t hate you, that didn’t mean I chose you as my favorite. Are you kidding me?” You say as you finished your dessert, and threw it into the bag.

“So why Hoseok Hyung?” The pout on his lips was so evident that he was somewhat offended you didn’t choose him. “What does he have that made you pick him?”

“First off, super talented with his rapping and dancing. I like his style, as an artist and for fashion. He’s practically innocent in all the shit you do with games and jokes, I feel bad sometimes just watching him get punished. Sweet, down to Earth, great smile, handsome, I forgot to sa—”

“Okay, I get it. You like him!” The idol interjected. His tone was infused with green envy as you were able to list down many characteristics about his member without thought.

You grinned at how he was being, but never acknowledged it so he wouldn’t be embarrassed as much. But maybe, just maybe you wanted to point another thing out. “It also sealed the deal when you had to kiss him as a penalty.”

A combination of grimace, scowl, and disgust appeared on his face at the horrible and traumatizing memory. It was a punishment, for something he can’t remember and didn’t want to, but it was still a punishment. It also didn’t help that that was his first kiss. Hoseok hated it, he hated it, and for that, it was lost in the past until you brought it up.

“Please, don’t bring that up.” He wallowed in agony, but you kept smiling. “Before you say anything else, yes, he was my first kiss. It’s one of the most tragic things ever.”

While he covered his face with his palms, he doesn’t notice the smile going flat on you as you watched him. Once he looked back up, you held the curves of the mouth up. “It’s fine. At least we both have shitty first kisses, but you had it with someone you care for.”

Taehyung muttered something you couldn’t quite comprehend before his phone vibrated on the grass. It caught both of your attention and saw that it was Clara messaging him. There were twenty-four messages specifically. He then grabbed his phone to view her texts.

The harsh taps on his screen followed him throwing his phone into his jacket. Frowning as he looked back up into the sky, he blew a sigh through his nostrils. He seemed frustrated, probably from what was said in between texts. You didn’t want to assume thought. You then checked the time and it was close to midnight. Maybe that had to do with it.

“We should go, it’s getting late.” You cleared your throat as you began gathering the trash bags.

His head turned in your direction, “Are you tired?”

“Kinda, I also have school and work tomorrow.” You stated. “You should go home too because Clara might get upset for not coming home early.”

“She’s fine.” He mumbled, waving it off. “I just told her we’re still having our dinner and stuff…”

He wasn’t necessarily lying, but it didn’t sound right either. “Was she okay with it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” He shrugged before smacking his lips. “So do you wanna go home now? Don’t want you to stay out too late to have fewer hours of sleep. How’s that by the way?”

You rolled your eyes, grinning a little at his concern for your health. “Better, but I still don’t get the ideal eight hours. Grad school is a bit hard and time-consuming, so it’s nice to do things like this.” You gestured around you.

“So I’m assuming you don’t want to go yet?” The idol smirked as he nodded toward the parking lot.

You thought about it for a second. If Clara was fine with him staying out and spending time with you, then you guessed that it wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer. You were enjoying the view before you when she texted. “Maybe a few more minutes.” You held your thumb and index up, signaling a tiny space between the two as emphasis.

Taehyung chuckled at your demeanor, he saw more of a playful you opening up. He too didn’t want to leave just yet, and certainly not leave because his girlfriend said so. This was his time with you, and he wanted to cherish it.

The both of you continued to sit in silence, gazing into the city night. This place was a perfect spot to see the bridge, the buildings, and the lights, yet remained secluded. It was fascinating to you how different Seoul nights were compared to Geochang. Your hometown wasn’t as crowded and you would always see familiar faces. However, here, every day was different, and areas were swarming. Though the majority of the customers were old, working at the restaurant made you shocked at how late people enjoyed going out. If anything, Geochang had an unofficial curfew at ten at night.

As you were staring, there was a little voice in your head shouting about Clara. After meeting and conversing with her, you saw how genuine and lovely the socialite was. She was invested in the things you spoke about as well as passionate about what she does but remained as humble. Clara would ask questions about how Taehyung was when he was younger and learned more about her boyfriend.

You didn’t hate her, there was no reason to. She was always good to you, but deep down, you felt somewhat uncomfortable being near her. You found yourself comparing her to you, and you didn’t understand why. After all, she was Kim Taehyung’s girlfriend of five years—that was a long time and would probably marry her.

While you were just an estranged friend from his younger years.

“So…” You spoke out, taking his attention away from the scenery. “I didn’t mention it before, but good to see you with someone. You and Clara.”

“Really?” He sounded in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Your pitch was a little higher than usual, but you were genuine.

The entire time you’ve known him, he never voiced out liking or wanting anyone. It concerned and agitated you at one point, even when he left for training. You really don’t know what happened in that ten-year gap, but he came out with a pretty steady girlfriend who loves him dearly.

“At least by now, I know you can fall in love or have a crush on someone.” You quipped as you nudged him by the shoulder. He stayed quiet for a bit, processing what you said but you continued with your speech. “I think Clara’s great for you, almost complementing your entire aura. You have an old soul while she’s very refreshing.” While you blabbered away about his girlfriend, Taehyung felt sour and filled with a grimace which he tried his best to cover it up with a deadpan. “On top of it all besides being sweet, Taehyung, she’s so gorgeous. You would pick someone like her. She’s so pr—”

“Excuse me, ___.” He cuts you off with irritation oozing out of his pores. Your eyes stayed on his, wondering what set him off on what you said. You weren’t saying anything negative or ridiculing at all. “You know you’re beautiful too.”

His words threw you off, making you snort in disbelief and shook your head. Why did that even matter right now? You kept a joyous expression in contrast to the seriousness Taehyung held. “I know…ish.”

That was also true. You have grown to accept and love yourself for who you were and what you looked like after many adolescent years of struggle. Your features didn’t exceed the high standards of Clara, but you made it a point and lifestyle in your grown life that before your grandmother died, she always mentioned how uniquely captivating you always were, looking different in the best way possible.

Of course, it was shocking to get compliments from others. As well as your conscious had a habit of making you compare yourself to others, whether it was good or bad. Like for this instance—Clara.

But you wanted to breeze on from his statement. “But that’s beside the point—”

“No, I hear that tone, ___. You’re comparing yourself to her.” Taehyung informed as if it was a fact about you, which it was. Yet you didn’t want him to know that.

You sighed, not understanding the big deal of it all. “I’m not talking down on myself! I swear. I’m just saying…” Your eyes shifted down to the ends of your dress. “Clara is pretty and you really won with her.”

“I don’t care about pretty. I love beautiful.”

That caused you to lift your head and meet his eyes, which you didn’t know pierced at you for who knew how long. You didn’t even realize how near he has gotten to you. The fabric of your clothes touched his pants. Your torsos twisted to continue the eye contact.

The look on him…was a familiar feeling and time. It held something you didn’t want to see or think about after those years of struggle because if you did, another wall buried deep down inside your entity would come crashing down.

“Taehyung, you can’t—”

“I can.” He disagreed, leaning closer. “Because I remembered promising you that I’d show you how beautiful you are, how special you really are, ___.”

“This literally has nothing to do with me!” You refuted, trying to deny any claim he had about you. But you stayed frozen as he slowly inched forth. It wasn’t odd because Taehyung was always known to be affectionate, but it sure was concerning you right now. “Can’t I compliment your gorgeous girlfriend?”

“No, because she already gets that from everyone around her. She doesn’t need any more of that.” He grumbled. His eyes quickly glanced down at your face, enough for you to notice. “But it relates to you because of your eyes. They held insecurity and concern, I remember that look. It was the same look when you got your heartbroken back in middle school by that dumbass boy.”

It surprised you at times, how Taehyung was able to catch on and read you like a book even after years of disappearance. From the first couple of months of renewing the friendship, not a time goes by when he remembered little things about you despite your constant protest of being a changed person. Maybe personality-wise shifted into a cruel sarcastic approach, but the habits were consistent.

Albeit to your annoyance to him on that, you couldn’t help but do the same more often than you should.

“___, when I say this, I mean it and I take it to my grave,” Taehyung announced, irises boring at yours with no play. “Stop comparing yourself to others. I know it’s hard, but it’s harder to live with it. It doesn’t help you or the others around you. I never liked when you do that.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, hearing his objection. You didn’t want what you said to end up like this, but there was no doubt that he interpreted it to a t. You didn’t think he’d still care enough about you like that. What else goes on in his head that you didn’t expect?

Out of nowhere, he held your cheek with his palm, snapping you out of your daze. He was now so close to you that with any movement, something would touch. It was like before when you were younger with him and had the status of a best friend with a purposeful and deeper meaning. “You’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life, ___.” Your pupils dilated at his reveal. Cheeks spreading with flushness and warmth you hated to expect. “Wouldn’t want any better. Any person would be lucky to have you.”

Excuse me? He said that way too personally. Why the fuck would he say that to you? It started to frighten you, furrowing your eyebrows and cocking your head to the side. Yet he focused on your reaction with sincerity, nothing in what he spoke upon held no lie and you knew it.

There was a pause in the air, holding your breaths. The familiar warmth to your irises soothed his body down just by the look. It was as if his vision pulled him back in time where he saw you exactly like this, underneath a tree late at night with sparkles gleaming on you. The swift capture of your thirteen-year-old self before your current self settled before him. He wanted this moment to last for as long as he remembered.

And without thinking, he closed the gap between you two as he shuts his eyes and puckered his lips.

Hoping to find softness and sweetness, but there was no avail on the other side. It was the complete opposite. A harsh reddened ache ran through his cheek before he peeled his eyes open to reveal a raging you fueled with perfidy.

You smacked his face again, but this time harder than the last before you pushed yourself away from him, almost a meter away. Your mouth gaped as you stood up from the grass and patted yourself clean to get the fuck away from him.

Eyes widening as large as a goldfish, Taehyung realized what he tried to do. Scrambling to get up and beg for redemption, he tried to speak but you interrupted him. “Here I thought you wanted to be my friend again, but you deceived me and I don’t want nothing of it!” You snarled before grabbing your bad and shouldering it over.

“Wait, ___. I’m sorry! I don’t know what c—”

“Save it! I don’t wanna hear your bullshit!” There you walked away from the scene angry and disappointed with shame all over you. You needed to get away, you couldn’t stay. But you were pulled back by the wrist and twirled around to see a worried and frightened idol searching for mercy on you.

“___, please. I-I’m sorry, I—”

You snatched your wrist back, breathing through your nostrils in hopes it calmed your wrath. “I don’t care if you’re sorry! Fucking think about your girlfriend! Why would you even fucking dare to do that?”

“I-I wasn’t thi—”

All of sudden, you yanked him by his collar. Pulling him close to see the break of trust in your livid pupils, you seethed, “I will not be some home wrecker.” You pushed him roughly, almost making him imbalance but he stabilized his feet. “You lost my trust. I don’t wanna fucking see you anymore.”

You never looked back and continued your path out of the park. You thought he would have followed you again, but when you heard the cries of your name at a distance, you knew he wasn’t going to try. Maybe you were too rash, or maybe you said things you didn’t mean. It didn’t matter anymore.

But you knew that if you ever saw him again, you would think differently of him.

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @thvxstf @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @taebangtanbabe

#taehyung x reader #taehyung fic #taehyung fanfiction #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut #bts x reader #matcha masterlist

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 years ago

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sorry i have to brainfart this somewhere but mersault chuuya wearing almost damn near similar clothing to his youth got me thinking about dazai and chuuya's fashion choices.

dazai, in all the eras where he was in the mafia....never changes his outfit. it fitting, given his character and such.....so his ada outfit makes him look like a rainbow. dark blue vest, blue gem(?) bolo tie, striped shirt and a tan coat similar to oda's. i think it's cool, to show the stark contrast between his pm days and how he's faring now, aswell to show how much effect oda had on him.

chuuya.....is the complete opposite. boy changes his clothes all the time. but it's so interesting.

his fifteen outfit is very "him" in a sense. street kid, street kid style- red shirt, grey hoodie, green leather jacket, bright blue sheep armband. he fits right in with the rest of the sheep, and hes so...colorful here. almost similar to ada dazai's outfit. and then theres the outfit he wears in the mafia- the first one we saw back in the manga where he seems to be wearing like a..."beta" version of his current outift- but the way it was drawn (disregarding the anime for a second) it looks like its almost ill fitting for him. the vest is too big, the coat looks so heavy, the tie isnt properly tucked, and his pants are baggy. like hes struggling to "fit in".

then theres sb outfit- hes wearing the standard mafia outfit like higuchi, but with his own touches- rolled up sleeves, glasses tucked in his breastpocket, choker, gloves. its not much, but even higuchi doesnt do anything to hers. we kinda see him "getting into" the mafia work, and theres no pop of color here. the dragon head conflict outift is different though- hes wearing clothes that are "his style" again. simple shirt, jacket, choker, gloves. he also has his red petticoat (i think thats what it is? whatever that long cloth underneath his jacket) that, once again, gives him some color. i dunno what spured the outfit change, but i honestly think the red color is his own touch- his own "color"

and then current chuuya. no color at all, maybe safe from the ribbon on his hat. he wears his coat on his shoulders, similar to pm dazai. (also, slight off tangent here- he always loses his coat whenever hes dealing with dazai?? i think?? which is. interesting. given with how glued pm dazai's coat is to his own shoulders. like he actively takes it off/gets it taken off and i SWEAR this only even happens when hes with dazai. idk. ever since asagiri said beast dazai wearing his coat fully to signify him accepting his role as the pm boss ive been. thinking about it. a lot.)

where was i going with this?? oh yeah. why is mersault chuuya wearing his old clothes?? specifically fifteen clothes? like was it his off day or something. bc if you look at chuuyas various outfit as his progression towards the mafia then him wearing his old non mafia clothes either means two things : 1. this is to signify chuuya, under vampire influnce, is well. obviously not loyal to the mafia atm. or 2. something might happen in the future that makes him swear allegiance to someone else which i dont find possible but??? who knows. im overthinking this

Oh my god I opened my asks to find this monster in here and scrolled through it like ?????????

Please feel free to do this anytime this was an absolute joy to read hahaha

"dazai, in all the eras where he was in the mafia....never changes his outfit." His outfit stays pretty similar, you're right, though he does actually change it once during his mafia days. The left image is the outfit he wears in Fifteen and Stormbringer, while the right is what he wears in DHC and Dark Era.

The difference is the blazer jacket he adds under his coat. It's a minimal change but I think it's significant. I mentioned in this post how I believe the change might be related to his change in pronoun from boku to watashi, but really it's more the added layer of distance that makes this significant. Dazai just looks a little... odd, in the first outfit. The coat hangs off him loosely, his shirt is a little baggy. He looks very boyish, and that makes his deceptive tendencies and deeply concerning outlook all the more disturbing to others.

The second outfit makes one change but his clothes now look like they fit him (still with the exception of the coat, which never fit and never will... in this universe anyways. You mentioned Beast so... you know already hehe). In the case of the second outfit, he looks more mature and formal, which lends itself to a person who withdrew further and further away from people (with the exception of the other two at Bar Lupin); who became a terrifying executive in other's eyes, moving away from the "creepy intelligent child" image he had earlier - even though he is still very much a kid. No one knows Dazai - I think the added image of formality and authority here is just one of the many barriers he constructed to keep people from getting too close.

"so his ada outfit makes him look like a rainbow. dark blue vest, blue gem(?) bolo tie, striped shirt and a tan coat similar to oda's."

hjdfvbdjf rainbow - entering his no longer closeted gay era (sorry lol i couldn't resist)

No but you're right about the coat looking a bit like Oda's. He cared for and respected that man like no other and I think when Dazai thinks of "a good person" Oda is the first person who comes to mind. His shirt in the manga is also stripy like Oda's, a little detail that got lost in the anime. :')

"his fifteen outfit is very "him" in a sense. street kid, street kid style- red shirt, grey hoodie, green leather jacket, bright blue sheep armband. he fits right in with the rest of the sheep, and hes so...colorful here."

Yeah. He looks every bit the street kid and blends with the Sheep near perfectly - more than fitting in though, I think it's more than implied that he wants to fit in and changes his look to do so. Chuuya goes to great lengths to give the appearance of fitting in - because he never felt like he truly did (and certainly the Sheep did not treat him like an equal or a friend).

"and then theres the outfit he wears in the mafia- the first one we saw back in the manga where he seems to be wearing like a..."beta" version of his current outfit- but the way it was drawn (disregarding the anime for a second) it looks like its almost ill fitting for him. the vest is too big, the coat looks so heavy, the tie isnt properly tucked, and his pants are baggy. like hes struggling to "fit in"."

YES you get it!! And adding onto that, Chuuya doesn't really have a lot of reason to want to fit in yet. He hasn't found his personal groove yet, because he has little personal attachment to the mafia at this point in time.

Yeah in Stormbringer he's got a few personal touches but is still pretty non-descript (though you're right, it's much more than Higuchi... something to think about for her character too, and how it seems the mafia may be more of a job than an investment to her). By Dead Apple though, Chuuya's outfit is... well, back to his punk vibes, just a little more mafia-classy, I guess. (I don't know fashion I'm sorry, please don't kill me)

"but i honestly think the red color is his own touch- his own "color""

Red makes a lot of sense as a colour for Chuuya. It's energetic, emotional, fierce and aggressive. It's also considered protective, so yeah it suits him for sure. Red clothes, red ability... red camellias...

"and then current chuuya. no color at all, maybe safe from the ribbon on his hat." Ooo ok. So in the anime, this is true but in the manga, I believe his vest is actually a pale red.

Well. Brown with red undertones. Your point still stands though because the colour is very muted. It's not like Fifteen or DHC Chuuya for sure.

"(also, slight off tangent here- he always loses his coat whenever hes dealing with dazai?? i think?? which is. interesting. given with how glued pm dazai's coat is to his own shoulders. like he actively takes it off/gets it taken off and i SWEAR this only even happens when hes with dazai. idk. ever since asagiri said beast dazai wearing his coat fully to signify him accepting his role as the pm boss ive been. thinking about it. a lot.)"

Oh. Thinking on this. Um. Embarrassed to say - I don't think I noticed that actually. Like obviously he loses the coat a lot and that was already something to think on but... only around Dazai, is that right? Hold on, I'm gonna check.

Ok so my check wasn't super thorough (read: I am too tired and drained to go through each and every panel he appears in) but...

By god, I think you're right.

That's. Hm. I'm going to join you on thinking about that for awhile.

I see the coat as a representation of his role and responsibility he takes on, really, so it's interesting that the formality and symbolism of his service to the mafia gets quite literally discarded in the scenes with his foil and equal. Fascinating.

He's also not wearing it in any of these now infamous panels from Chapter 101:

Huh. Well. Thank you anon. You've just given me a whole new thing to whir about.

"why is mersault chuuya wearing his old clothes?? specifically fifteen clothes?"

Honestly, I'm still waiting to figure this out too.

Because of the purplish hue over this piece of new art, I find it hard to tell what the actual colours of his outfit are but it does look awfully similar to his Fifteen outfit. It could just be his "day-off" outfit but I think there's got to be more to it than that. It could have to do with allegiance, like you suggested. May I also suggest the return to a sense of inhumanity?

These are also the clothes he wore when his journey to find answers on himself began. Might he be entering a new arc where he has to "find" himself again?

I still feel we don't have enough information to make a solid judgement. As the meursault pov continues, I think we'll have a better reason as to why he's dressed like this.

#thanks for the ask!#feel free to dump thoughts at any time whoever you are anon this was so fun #also i'm so annoyed with myself that i didn't notice that bit about the coat earlier but also so happy you pointed that out!#things to think about when i am less tired...#bsd #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #soukoku #skk #storyrambles #as always if i screwed up somewhere... just tell me. rip the bandage off lol

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yourlocalstranger123 · 2 years ago

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Allow me to slide this on here, what if the obey me demon brothers had an mc who uh- kind of has a nicotine addiction and is desperately trying to get help. The only problem is they see it everywhere because it's so popular- HHHHH no need to do this, I don't mind :)

Hello, I might not make a part 2 since I'm too lazy unless someone requests it. Bye 😋

And sorry 😅

Thank you for the idea! I'll try my best

(All of this is found on Pinterest so if the original owner didn't post this from Pinterest then idk.)

How do the demon brothers react to Mc having a nicotine addiction

(Found in Pinterest. The account that posted it)

Lucifer

(Found it on Pinterest so idk if the true original art was from Twitter or something.)

The moment he learns about it, he will scold you so badly. Your addiction will turn to dust. Like literally.

Here's is literally what I imagine.

Lucifer: "MC! COME TO MY OFFICE. NOW."

Everyone: "OooOOoOo, someone's in trouble!"

Mc: "Stop acting like kids. You little pieces of shi-"

*later*

*lucifer throws a WHOLE HISTORY of reasons why you should stop using it."

And when you say you can't help it.

Welp, don't worry. You don't need to go to the doctor's for help. Beside your ears. Because, Luci is here! Scolding you every. Single. Time.

One time you tried to talk it out and saying "you look cute when your mad"

(...the pictures says it all)

The people in the background who saw it, and also do it, are also affected. Having nightmares of him beating their ass and scolding them for doing it.

Mammon

(Found in Pinterest. The account that posted it)

He would be baffled. If he sees you doing it multiple times, he just cries little tears saying,

"S- stop doing it! I don't wa- *hic* wanna see you dIeEeEEe!" (The picture is an ex. And also he searched on Google perhaps and see if it's bad and uhh....yeah. he just clicked on one random website and yeah. Imagine the rest)

You definitely took that image and made it stick into your memories now.

Then... an idea 💡 popped inside his head! What happens if he just sells it all? Great deal since it will or might stop your addiction since you don't have it AND! MONEY!! $$$ so now you have a demon who just steals it and sells it.

You just standing there like:....welp, I guess this can help. In a uh...money way. *ching ching*

Levi

(Found in Pinterest. The account that posted it)

Same thing as Mammon. Baffled. Like, excuse me? YOU COULD'VE SPENT THAT MONEY ON GAMES-

(Aggressive much)

He just makes you stay in his room to play games every time there's a free chance. He will even force you to sleep in his room with him.

Not thinking about where you're gonna sleep then it's just awkward seeing that you might have to sleep with him, because he doesn't have extra blankets and pillows. So it depends if you have a bigger or taller body than him then he's gonna sleep on top of you.

Satan

At first, he was concerned but he thinks that eventually, it will stop.

[It didn't.]

*later to our current position*

He would absolutely beat your ass. Get into his demon form and catch you with his tail, (picture is an ex.) Not letting go. If you still somewhat continue it, he will put a temporary curse that whenever you touch it. It. Will. Burn.

Yeah. So his wrath makes your addiction run away. 😋

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sweetsubharry · 11 months ago

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hi lottie! could you do a rommates/flatmates larry fic rec? no pressure of course! thanks a lot xx

Hello gorgeous! I definitely can! This is a guilty pleasure of mine idk why! <3

Tysm for the rec!!

don't call me baby by 28sunflowers

A short and cliché roommates AU inspired by To Be So Lonely, where they’re both oblivious to each other’s feelings and Harry gets sad and jealous over nothing. It works out in the end.

You're My River Running High by alienharry

There have been many times that Harry’s considered approaching Louis about his feelings and putting everything on the line. He’s no stranger to wearing his heart on his sleeve. Every time though, he’s stopped by a pop of the hip, a flick of the fringe, or those goddamn maroon skinny jeans, rolled up just the perfect amount to show off Louis’ dainty ankles.

It’s not that Harry doesn’t believe their relationship would be amazing, because it would be. It’s just, for all that they blend together perfectly, Harry isn’t sure that they’d be sexually compatible. Because while Harry loves to be held down and man-handled, Louis, well…

Louis is a twink.

Or the one where Harry moves in with Louis and doesn't know how to take a hint.

Your body is saying everything, I don't have to read your mind by ao3girl

"Lou? Are you awake?" Harry asked in a whisper, wanting to make sure Louis was asleep.

When he didn't get an answer, he let his fingers move under his boxers slowly. He closed his eyes and imagined it was Louis' hand, his thick and expert fingers. He parted his lips as he brushed his fingers over his pubic hair and rolled his head back when he pumped his cock for the first time that night. Slowly and gently.

Or the one where Louis and Harry are roommates, Louis catchs Harry touching himself thinking about him and helps him out.

I Love This Feeling (But I Hate This Part) by lululawrence

“Stand up.”

Harry stood up from the couch, not a moment’s delay.

“Oh my god, is that what that’s like?” Harry turned to Louis, surprise on his face. “I really thought they were somehow exaggerating, but it really is an automatic response with absolutely no thought from me behind it whatsoever.”

Louis sighed again. “You really wanna keep doing this? Have me use my alpha voice on you so you can work on resisting it?”

“Yup,” Harry said, clapping his hands and smiling. “How else am I going to be able to have any chance at reducing the power an alpha voice has on me?”

No One Likes to be Alone by lululawrence

Harry was a full-on fucking failure.

Letting out a whimper, Harry pressed his hands to his face as he finally allowed himself to cry. After a few sobs, he realized that something soft was pressed to his face, catching his tears instead of his hands. Harry pulled it away to see what it was and saw it was one of his sister’s shirts.

Shaking his head, he turned and placed it very specifically right where he usually tucked himself up against the wall. As he carefully shifted the shirt so he could see the faded image of Britney Spears looking out at him, Harry was overcome with a need he had only ever felt once before.

He needed to nest.

#larry stylinson #harry #louis #ask lots #larry stylinson fanfiction #roomates #larry #fic rec #fanfic #lottie fic rec

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antoncore · 6 months ago

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sorry i hope i’m not annoying but i’m bored too🤭🤭🤧

i’ve never rly paid that much attention in that way to sohee but like i imagine if u got partnered up for a project at uni and he came over to help u work on it and he was being annoying and u got mad at him for it but then he popped a boner because of u being stern with him and raising ur voice😳🤭🤭 so ofc you have to help him out and suck him off while he tangles his fingers in ur hair and whimpers so desperately it’s so cute how pathetic and whiney he gets when you fondle his balls and suck on his length!!! when he cums you’d swallow for him cuz he was so good for u<333333

but then idk i could also see sohee who u don’t really spare a second glance but then ur at a frat party together and end up in some kind of seven minutes in heaven scenario and he kinda goes a little crazy with u now that he finally has a chance to show u how bad he’s wanted u<33 like maybe he’d just give you the best head you’ve ever gotten, eating you out in someone else’s closet while you pull on his hair and muffle your moans with the back of ur hand cuz you’d never live it down if someone caught you letting him slut you out :( he’d definitely mess with u though and use his fingers, sucking harshly on ur clit and whispering nasty things to u about how ur giving it up so easy for him, he expected better from u :( and u whine about how that’s the whole point of the game is to mess around with the person ur paired with but he’s like “is cumming on my face part of it?” and ur so close u can feel the tension inside of you threatening to snap and you almost want to try to deny urself so he doesn’t get the satisfaction but he starts using his fingers again and you can’t help urself :((( after u cum, if u had any time left he’d use his tongue to clean you up and maybe even kiss u, even though you’d recoil a little, he’d hold ur jaw in place and stick his tongue in ur mouth to force you to taste urself ! and then you’d go back to the party only to find a room half an hour later so u can take his cock this time :)

not me being like.. i don’t think about him.. and then saying all this😓😓

- 🧸 anon

I AM SO DEAD😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

can imagine sohee’s little whimpers, would be so pretty!! feel like he wouldn’t even be able to speak bc he just loves the way you suck his cock. would wanna coo at him that he’s so cute like this, making him blush and squirm under you. and when he cums down your throat, he’s too shy to ask to take a picture so he keeps the mental image in his head. every time after he saw you on campus (which was multiple times a day), he’d go back to his dorm and jerk off, wishing it was your mouth wrapped around his cock again :( he wanted you so bad but was scared you’d never give him the time of day again, watching as you talked to other guys.

on the flip side, i rlly think he could be cocky too (idk why but i find the thought of him being cocky quite hot???) like he would just LOVE having you moan his name, it’s what he’s been wanting to hear for so long. he would slut you out completely, loving the way you reacted to him (you were so adorable, how could he not love it) and would love having you in front of the mirror so you could watch yourself fall apart for him. you didn’t know whether to love or hate the way he made you feel, like putty in his hands - his touch making you so weak :( you’d be cumming all over his cock and he’d want pictures to remember in his words ‘the neediest girl he’s ever fucked’. this definitely wouldn’t be the last time he had you like this, possibly leading to a situationship (bc he doesn’t want to behave like a simp - yet)

screaming, creaming over this tbh

#tonisbabydoll chats 💬#cee l.sh #🧸 anon

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cerealandchoccymilk · 1 year ago

Text

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapter #06

previous | all | next

I’m doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc.

Here are the non-analysis meow meow panels (only 2 today, sorry 😔)

And the rest is under the cut.

[link for if the images aren’t in horizontal rows]

I really love the "train conductor/bus driver/etc puts themself in danger to protect the passengers" trope- NOOOOOOOOOO COOL CONDUCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Small correction: These first onomatopoea are actually...flesh sounds...... And I wasn't really thinking about corrections for this one, more just for nuance, but Neon says something like "it's unfortunate, but..." in this line.

A small difference here: in my version it's actually CO2, not oxygen that's being supplied to the Heat Plant. However, considering that O2 is a fuel for combustion and CO2 is a byproduct, it may be an error on Nightow's part.

This is one of the first indications of who Kaito actually is. He knows all of this off the top of his head, which catches the Captain by surprise.

It also provides information about Plants. This could either mean that all Plants require some kind of fuel, or that the Plants can utilize those resources in some other way to help the Sandsteamer.

Get graphited idiot.

We also get to see more of Kaito's attachment to this Sandsteamer.

Here, the original line is more like "Why would Brilliant Dynamites Neon have to listen to you when this treasure—the prey I've been hunting—is right in front of me!?"

This is where I notice that Neon has a sort of obsession with "beauty," not just in the regular sense but also in his own way. He obviously values visuals—his over-the-top fashion and desire to go out with a bang—but to him, it's also a question of dignity. (this will be on the exam yall)

Even the gang member is getting worried about what Neon might do to Kaito... And here's where we find out why Kaito knows so much and wants to protect the Sandsteamer!

Notes on the original phrasing of this line, since I saw a few posts comparing the Dark Horse and Overhaul versions.

The Japanese line is「パッと散りな　小僧」パッ(pa') is an onomatopoea for "pop," "poof," or a release (e.g. letting go of an object). 散る(chiru, used here in command form) means "scatter," most commonly associated with falling cherry blossom petals. From that, it's also a euphemism for dying. i can go on for another paragraph on the association of cherry blossoms with Japanese views on life/death but you can figure that out. or google it idk

I think this line is another excellent representation of Neon's values on beauty and death.

I love this page so much!! The flow comes to a complete stop, and the tension that has been building throughout the last few pages is at its peak here. The composition is also excellent. The art is symmetrical, and Neon's giant outfit follows the lines leading from the bottom corners of the page up to Vash's gun, where they intersect right in the middle. I JUST LOVE THESE KINDS OF COMPOSITIONS SO MUCH.....

can't remember why i wrote "sike" there

It took a while to figure out what happened here, but I think Vash either sensed danger or actually dodged a bullet, and chose to jump back out. Love the way he's firmly holding Kaito's overalls while Kaito doesn't understand anything that's going on lol

The silly goofies... theyre screaming crying shitting themselves out there....

It's a bit hard to see, but Kaito is screaming "AAAHHH PULL ME UPPP" in the middle panel.

This exchange after the two get to safety is also so silly... There's a missing "whrrrr drill drill" SFX for Vash's drill hand (?). I saw a photo of the Dark Horse version which was missing it in the same way, with the leftover ン on Vash's cheek.

I forgot to highlight it, but this note pertains to Vash's second speech bubble about death and destruction. The Japanese version of the line is something like "I swear!! I have at least 2 digits' worth of death-gods(死神) or poverty-gods(貧乏神) haunting me!!" Death-gods/shinigami are already well-known in the West so I won't explain that here. The second one, poverty-god/binbōgami, is a similar kind of thing, except it brings poverty to whoever it clings onto (instead of death). Fun fact: Binbōgami are said to like yakimiso (grilled miso paste).

VASH'S SOUPY BRAIN!!! The mystery has been solved!!!

But first, in order... Vash's first line is more like "We can't be worrying about all this right now." It could keep the original phrasing, but the main idea is to change "me" to "us."

The next (most important) line is actually "We gotta save brainpower [for the matter at hand]." The confusion lies in the word 脳みそ, which literally translates to "brain miso," but is actually the word for brain tissue, and thus brainpower. It has nothing to do with miso soup! The origin I wrote in the middle-left of the image is...dubious.... I told my mom about this just now, and she mentioned that it might be called that because みそ(miso) also means the center or key aspect of something. Weblio also says it signifies innards (like from crab or shrimp), similar to what I wrote in the annotation at first. I'll fix it in the document later

Also, I would phrase the last line as "I mean, we're gonna stop this ship, right!?"

Kaito's skills are actually insane. What do you mean you just copied the entire blueprint... Mistranslation: The respect is directed towards his dad, so it should be "You must really look up to your dad."

I didn't know his name was spelled Kaite in this version. My Japanese version copy has that bottom part in a regular speech bubble, and with the font for the boxes. It's most likely just a version-exclusive error. He also says that his dad "found" the ship, but I'm not sure if that's another error or not since this translation makes more sense.

This line is phrased more like "Just for a little bit of cash, I'm now taking advantage of you for a deal with a crook."

I really loved the execution of this scene in the '98 anime. get hammered into the ground boy The final line is from Kaito, not Vash, and should be "...Yeah!!"

And that’s it for Chapter #06! Sorry for the wait, I couldn't work on this as much as I'd liked because of the smoke and rainstorm, combined with weekend responsibilities. Feeling better now though 💪 As always, the Japanese annotations are in the reblogs.

~~~

Bonus: reactions to the soupy-brained Vash post

#awesomeifidosaysomyself your linguistics hyperfixation/special interest rubbed off on us #how dare you /j #also. TWO mutual cameos in a cerealandchoccymilk post? its more likely than you think (awesome and ghouliaautism)#btw we have fully given up on trying to be up to date with the schedule #no matter how behind we get we WILL get through all chapters tho #trigunbookclub #trigun annotation #trigun #trigun manga

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sishmishtarot · 2 years ago

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💘pick a card!💘

whats next in love?

with my little versions of angel and devil from devilish hairdresser! Any of u remember this flash game??? they came out kinda wonky but cute...but honey🤐the tarot messages are kinda brutal ngl sorry if ur not gonna get quite what u expect! again readings are alleged so dont worry. also these readings can be read as platonic

pile 1

5 of wands, 5 of swords, magician, the lovers, 6 of pentacles

first thing that popped into my head was an image of a beautiful peachy pink sunset. kinda cheesy 😝 but the cards are not so... I see your next love intrest as a bright creative person who stands out among others, that unfortunately might lead to conflict, your circle or community might misunderstand them and alienate them, try to talk you out of dating them. (for some of you it might be about their look, they might have a very unique style!) its giving a bit queer! if you are than you two might be in a tense coming out situation. it doesn't matter if you are or not, if you are single for now or in a relationship - u and ur partner will feel like everyone around u are going batshit insane and ur the only ones sane left. the world might feel a bit lonely but you'll have a sturdy shoulder to lean on. something about this energy is so calm despite these chaotic 5 of wands and 5 of swords. it seems that you and ur future partner are in complete solidarity and any hardships u face you'll be there to elevate each other. but besides that this seems like a very respectful, loving bond and an interesting soul coming into ur life to stir things up! gives me a nice feeling in my heart like when u drink tea.

pile 2

9 of cups, high priestess, strength, 8 of swords, 3 of swords

daym idk what did i tap into here! i saw a river side in a gloomy forest and a golden key buried in the sand. immediately felt a pinch of anxiety. you might feel like you're not ready for a relationship. if u are in one u might feel like ending it. trust your gut stranger on the internet! your energy seems very emotionally intelligent, you self reflect a lot and find roots to your emotions, dont rush with decisions, but this time your anxiety might be controlling u a little bit! I could read this two ways, one - you are dating someone and it doesn't feel right to you anymore, but youre scared to break it apart. two - you're scared of intimacy, and feel like your trust is going to be broken thats why ur love life is kind of frozen. If ur in situation one, i advise u to have that conversation, because its going to be easier than u think, and the person will respect ur decision. knowledge is key!(hehe) let them know how u feel. if you re situation two, you should really look into why is that how you feel, try to open up to someone u really trust, learn to share, because that takes practice too. because the right person might come around unexpectedly! u might stumble upon a golden key in the gloomy forest and u cant just pass by right? this reading left my hearth aching a little bit. but whats love without pain! love is kind of like a very scary dark forest but its worth walking through bcs u might beautiful treasures there. U can let go of the treasure if its hard to carry, its gonna be ok.

#pick a card #devilish hairdresser #tarot reading #love reading #witch stuff #witchblr #witchcraft #my art #girlycore #y2k #nostalgia

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gardenoblues · 2 years ago

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idk why I keep imagining Dennis from Hotel Transylvania as Tyler when he was a toddler. (so I was making a fic involving Tyler's childhood and Dennis' image keeps popping up in my head, it's so odd and adorable at the same time.)

I think it's coz of the hair...?

just imagine a mini hyde berserk because his parents wouldn't buy him ice cream or when he gets hit because he wouldn't behave. So we saw a younger version of Wednesday and I think it's only valid to show a younger version of Tyler in the series right?

#tyler galpin #hotel transylvania #dennis #forgive my weirdass unhinged self

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sketchguk · 2 years ago

Note

Hey! this is soulmate mark anon! I read your answer omg I love your ideas! a cat sounds good to me too, it fits mc!! Patronusus are soooo special . I also like your stars idea though! maybe mc has soonyoung's constellation? I feel so bad for sonyoung that he knows shes his mate but she wishes it was mingyu, and soonyoung already HATES mingyu wetwytwytr. What do you think made soonyoung realise the mark is mc's? anddddd i've always been curious but idk if youve answered this already ... How did mc and mingyu fall into bed the first time??? WREWTRTTETR Like .... you said they r friends but they also were allso like fwb right ????? how did that happen ?? please tell me that scene so i can stop being curious last week I got so busy with work thats why i couldnt send any asks , now i'mm just in bed relaxing before sleeping. this week will not be so busy for me! Thanks for talking to e about my little ideas !!

Hey hey ! The cat patronus would really encompass all of mc's personality traits <3 I guess that's settled ✨ Funny how both of their patronuses are in the cat family. That's how it should be when they're soulmates !!

The constellation mark would be really pretty, but would it lead directly to Soonyoung in the end?? In a way, it's also special because the astronomy tower is Soonyoung's favorite place in Hogwarts to clear his head. He's taken mc there when she's felt stressed !! So there's definitely a connection there 💛

I also feel like quidditch should be involved in the very first stages of the mark because it has to be super generic for her to believe it's also Mingyu LOL

With every headcanon for this au, it's basically "how many times can we kick Soonyoung when he's already down on the floor?" He's always hurt one way or another LOL, poor guy. He's definitely frustrated with the way mc never considers him as her soulmate. And as hard as he tries to convince her, it just doesn't work out !!! But when the full marks are revealed, there's no way they can deny it then. He just has to trust the process !!!

If we're going with the cat patronus mark, I suppose it would be difficult for Soonyoung to realize that's mc right away. Hmmm. Maybe there are little details that pop up first !! I saw these designs and thought they would be super cuteee:

lol the second mark would be so cute if the moon was replaced with the sun because mc is definitely the sun ☀️ So maybe the flowers pop up first before the full image of the cat !!

And they could be meaningful like mc's birth flower (but of course in the end, it varies by the reader). If we were going with something general, maybe it'd be tiger lilies !! Remember back when the herbology club would do farmer's market fundraisers?? Where they'd sell produce and flowers from the greenhouse?? Well Soonyoung first gifted mc a tiger lily stem (duh ahah). She received a bunch of flowers from her admirers, but when they're all piled up at her desk, the tiger lily is the one that always stands out the most, and it soon becomes one of her favorites !!

But imagine she doesn't recognize who gave what flower because there were always sooo many. People would hand them to her in succession, and she'd have to place them away so she can fully commit to her work at the market!! She's too busy, and she can't have her hands full when she's enticing other students to buy her cherry tomatoes. And that's always gonna be the sad part </3 She doesn't ever fully recognize Soonyoung's efforts when he tries so hard to have her love him

Oh how did mc and Mingyu become fwb !!!! The h*rny part of my brain really skipped over that part so that I could maximize the angst asap. Here's the idea I came up with. Let me know what you think!

Mc would ask Mingyu for advice because some of her suitors would flirt with her, but she doesn't know if she should give into their advances in spite of her big, fat crush on Mingyu. She tells him that she's wary about settling for some guy because she doesn't feel a genuine connection with those other boys, and she thinks they might just want to get laid. Mc confesses that there's no harm in saying yes, right? It could be a win-win situation. What if she enjoys it? (BECAUSE LATELY, SHE HAS TROUBLE GETTING OFF ON HER OWN !!! The only thing that makes her come is the thought of Mingyu). And if she says yes, perhaps this is her chance to get over Mingyu who doesn't want to pursue anything further with her. But when he asks what kind of connection it would take for her to fold, she tells him the truth. She feels most comfortable with someone who's her friend. Someone kind, respectful, and considerate. Someone like... Mingyu. She knows that this is a terrible idea because she genuinely likes him. But at this point, she'll take what she can get. She thinks that maybe after the first or second time, he'll catch real feelings for her. Yet time after time, he has never made it official.

And I'm sorry your work was so busy !! Thankfully you'll have more time now to relax !! Missed you lots <3 What is it that you do if you don't mind me asking?!! I'm actually gonna be the busy one this week because I'm starting a new job ahhhh (but it's per diem, so at least it's not full time. There's a lot of planning and preparation to do though, so I'm sure it'll eat up all my spare time) 😔 I will look forward to your messages after a long day though, that's for sure !! Hope you have an awesome week 💛

#ask #anon #horanghae agenda #soulmate anon

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lilyofthestyx · 3 years ago

Note

I saw request we’re open for RE8. Could I please have a fem! reader who tries to get rid of Ethan Winters because he keeps causing distress to her wife, Alcina? Please and thank you.

yes. yes you most certainly can have this.

i have been DYING to write about some alcina x fem!reader for the sole reason being that i have NEVER questioned my sexuality so hard since this damn game came out so yeah.

ps: wrote this in first person hope that's okay!

pps: there is some major plot deviation because.... i felt like it. idk. it fit??

DISCLAIMER: I do not claim to own Resident Evil or its characters or plot. CAPCOM please don't come for me.

here you go love >:)

word count: 1.57k

"Girls!" I call, closing the door behind me. "My darlings, I'm home!" Shifting the grip on the parcel of items from the village, I look around.

Usually one of the girls would've answered by now. Bela is usually here to greet me.

She's probably with her mother.

I shrug off my fur coat, handing it to one of the maids. She takes it and lays it over the back of a chair. I can tell by the large, gnarled scar on her forearm who she is "Marienna," I mumble, staring up the stairway. "...where're the girls?"

Marienna's face pales as she stares back at me. Her mouth opens and closes like a trout. "Well?" I snap, "D'you know where they are or-?!"

A crash resounds down the hallway. Alcina's voice tears from her bedroom, followed by a shuddering sob.

I'm hurrying up the stairs in seconds, abandoning the parcel. My body collides with the door- forcing it open.

Our bedroom is destroyed- the vanity broken to pieces. Alcina's soft hands cling to the golden wood, thumb rubbing against the varnish. Slowly, her eyes trail up to me. A smile nearly as broken as the vanity crosses her painted lips. "...I loved this damned mirror," she mumbles, eyes turning down to the broken pieces again.

"What happened, darling?" I coo, stepping over the pieces to stand beside her. My hand on her shoulder, I turn her face gently towards mine. Tears are streaming down her face- leaving jagged streaks of mascara. "Are you alright? What happen-"

Alcina's body tenses under my touch. Trembling, her grip tightens on the wood. It cracks before being wrenching in twain in her hands. "It was that stupid manthing!" She hisses, standing back up to her full height.

"...what 'manthing'?" I ask, "Your brother?"

Alcina ignores me, leaning back down to pluck one of the larger fragments before throwing it across the room. "He laid his filthy paws on our daughters!"

My mind races as it struggles to understand what the hell is happening.

Manthing.

It's not Heisenberg. He'd never lay a finger on the girls.

Some brutish village slug- that's got to be it.

But why? Why on earth would they...?

It doesn't matter.

As Alcina leans down to grab another bit, I grab her hand. "...are... are the girls okay? Where are they?"

A shuddering sigh passes her lips. "...they're all together," she whispers, wiping tears from her face hastily. "Bela... she was... that disgusting beast, he nearly killed her!"

"What?" I mutter, eyebrows drawing together as I step back. "...what... well is she okay? What happened? Is she going to be alright?!"

Alcina sighs again. "...she'll be alright," her hand wraps around mine gently. "Her sisters found her. Brought her to me."

"Where is she now?," I ask, tightening my grip around her finger. "My baby girl... where...?"

Alcina smiles warmly, getting down onto one knee. Her fingers brush back the hair from my eyes. Tears fall quickly down my face as I realize what could've happened if Cassandra and Daniela weren't nearby. "She's with her sisters," she answers gently. "Resting... waiting for her mother to get back with the flowers and silk from the village."

A cold laugh passes my lips before I sniffle. "...her mother should've been there. Should've never left."

Alcina's face tightens. "You can't blame yourself, darling," she mumbles, turning my chin up so I can face her. "No one knew this... Ethan Winters... would be so hideously vindictive."

I nod slowly, wiping the tears from my face. "...can I see her?"

"Of course, my love," she says, leaning in to press her lips to my cheek. "Of course."

The two of us walk down the halls to the center of the house. 'Safest place for her' Alcina had told me.

She had spoken to me the entire way over here, trying to get me out of my own head.

Bless my beloved wife for trying.

But that name. It just keeps buzzing around my mind.

Images of my hands, covered in thick blood, gripping the handle of a sickle play through my head. The blade going through the jugular of this 'Ethan Winters' and popping out the other side. Him desperate for air, choking on his own hot blood, as he watches me loom over him.

His last words will be for mercy.

His last view will be my blade.

My breath is bated as I watch him stalk through the darkness of the courtyard. In the moonlight, I can see is head is down, eyes wary as he keeps a fair grip on his pistol. The cool air lets me see him regulating his breathing- keeping him steady, keeping his pistol steady.

He's experienced.

My grip on my own weapon tightens as he stops in the gazebo. His eyes narrow as he turns around, his pistol raised. I watch in mild amusement as he whirls around, looking for something to shoot.

He's experienced, yes, but still not experienced enough.

I tug the fabric around my face higher along the bridge of my nose. Gripping my sickle, I balance on the balls of my feet.

Ethan finally relaxes, dropping his arms with his back to me.

A small smile creeps along my lips under the mask. A foolish move made by an even more foolish man.

My body slides underneath the stone railings for the stairs leading into the center of the courtyard. Untucking one of the smaller knives from my belt, I pinch it between two fingers and flick my wrist forward.

The knife goes flying- landing right between Ethan's shoulder blades. A guttural yell comes from him as he spins around to face me. In a blink, I'm up in front of him, nose brushing against his.

I can see the fear in his eyes.

I can't help my smile growing beneath the dark fabric.

Ethan raises his hand, pistol in his palm. With a tut of my lips, I shake my head and stab his hand through with my sickle. "...no, no," I mumble as he continues to scream and thrash against my hold. "There'll be none of that, I'm afraid, Mister Winters."

His teeth gritted, he hisses as my sickle is pulled from the inner part of his wrist. A bitter laugh bubbles up from my gut as he stumbles back onto the floor of the gazebo, now holding the pistol in his shaky left hand. "You can't be serious!" I giggle as Ethan pulls the trigger.

A wet squelch hits my ears as the bullet tears into my stomach. I sigh dramatically, looking down at the gushing hole in my dress. "You didn't think I was human- did you?" I ask, twirling the sickle in my hand.

"Wh- what?" Ethan mutters, eyes fixated on the bullet wound in my torso.

"I'm not," I continue, stepping closer to him as he tries to back away. Another gunshot echoes through the courtyard- the bullet landing in my left shoulder. "Not entirely, anyways."

"What the hell are you?!" Ethan yells, firing three more shots. One in the crook of my neck, one just barely grazing my temple, one lodging itself in my hip.

My jaw tightens as I hurry forward, grabbing him by the collar and throwing him back into the center of the gazebo. "I!" I snap, grabbing him again and gripping his wrist. "I... am the mother of the girl you almost killed!"

I pull another knife out of my belt. Trailing it down his lips, I smile. "And the wife... to a woman scorned." With a single swing, the knife digs into the flesh of his palm and nails it to the gazebo.

Ethan yells in pain. As I step back, his other fist cracks across my face. I stumble back. Grabbing at my cheek, I chuckle darkly. "Oh, Ethan," I coo coyly, grabbing my sickle. "You really shouldn't have done that."

I swing and watch with what could only be described as 'glee' as the blade pierces his throat. Covered in blood, the blade glistens crimson in the pale moonlight. Ethan's choked pleas are drowned out by my laughter.

"Why?" is the only word able to leave his lips without being smothered in a gush of blood.

"Because, Mister Winters," I hum, my nose brushing against his as I watch the life in his eyes flicker. "You should never have touched my family."

BONUS ENDING:

"What is that delicious smell?"

I turn around to see Alcina bending down to peek outside. A smile crosses my lips as I gesture to the mutilated corpse with the end of my sickle. "Dinner, my love," I hum, wiping off the blade with the fabric I had used for a mask. "Sorry it's not the cleanest."

Alcina scoffs and waves me off. "It's fine, _________. I'll just go let the girls know their mother brought dinner...," she pauses, eyes flicking over the gushing body. "...who was that? He smells... familiar."

"Just Ethan Winters," I answer nonchalantly.

"...y-you..." Alcina stammers, eyebrows weaving together and lips pursing. "You... when did you-?"

"He must've been tired," I continue with a small smile. "He was not nearly as difficult a kill as I thought he'd be."

"...I'll... I'll be going now."

"Okay, love," I chirp, "I'll drag him in in a second. Love you!"

Alcina's eyes are still wide, mouth slightly agape as she steps away from the doorway. "...love you too... darling."

can you tell i had a lot of fun with this?

yeah. because i did.

i hope you enjoyed! writing lady d is so much freaking fun i kid you not.

big vampy lady make brain go brr

#lady dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu x fem!reader #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #anon ask #anon #resident evil village fanfiction #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #ethan winters #manthing (derogatory)#had way too much fun with this #it was supposed to be like 500 words tops #it ended up being over 3 times that

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cat-induced-fever-dream · 3 years ago

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Acquaintances

Pairing: Wanda x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Description: Wanda meets someone who doesn’t treat her like a villain, but she doesn’t know who you really are.

Notes: I promise it’s fluff and not a trap. Also sorry about my hiatus, I’m just super unmotivated to do anything. So here’s my feeble offering to try and get back into writing.

- - -

Wanda groaned at the sight of a man with a camera. All she wanted was to pop down to the shops, buy some paprika, but alas, even a shopping trip was gold for the paparazzi. Maybe if she hid behind an aisle he would leave. But she heard the door open behind her. Ducking quickly behind a stack of tuna cans, she scanned the rows for the precious package.

She knew she wasn’t the favourite of the public, and the guilt of what she’d done ate her alive every night, but she was sick of being blamed. All she did was try her best, but this was the kind of thanks she got.

She frowned a little when she saw the man round the corner. She steeled herself, not wanting the tears to spring to her eyes. Turning around to face him, she- There was a person talking to him. You had a shopping bag in your hand, so you must have been another customer. Dressed smartly with a blazer, but paired with jeans and sneakers, you looked friendly, but the cold look you gave the man said otherwise. You exchanged words quietly with the reporter, and he seemed to refuse you, turning back to look at her. Realising that this was the perfect stall to get out of the store, she resumed her search. Cumin, Ginger, Paprika! Quickly glancing back to see how long she had, she saw you hand the man a business card as he hurriedly shuffled away.

“Sorry about that,” you turned to her, looking genuinely apologetic.

“Why?” she asked, it coming out harsher than she meant for it to. “It wasn’t even your fault.”

You shrugged. “You don’t deserve it.”

Wanda frowned again at this. She didn’t even know you, but you helped her out, so the least she could do was be polite. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” you smiled. The two of you started to walk towards to counter. More like she did and you kind of happened to as well. “What are you cooking with the paprika?”

Sliding the bag to the cashier, she turned to face you properly. “I was making a traditional Sokovian dish.”

“I’m a big fan of trying different cuisines,” you replied, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “That sounds delicious.”

Wanda’s not really sure why you’re trying to make conversation, but you didn’t seem to have an agenda, so she indulged you with a response as the two of you walked out of the store. “It is, my mum always had the best recipe.”

“Ah well, my parents weren’t around much, so I can’t say the same,” you laughed, throwing your shopping in the back of what must have been your car.

Wanda hadn’t even realised she had walked with you to your car. That was embarrassing. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I should be going now,” backing away as quickly as she could without making a fool of herself.

“Wait,” you called, “do you need a lift back?”

“You’re a stranger.”

“Well I know your name is Wanda,” you grinned cheekily, opening the passenger door. “And my name is Y/N. Guess we’re not strangers anymore. So, what do you say? It’s the least I could do, with that man bothering you.”

She’s not sure what compelled her to agree, but she found herself sitting in a plush leather seat as you adjusted the rear view mirror. Tapping the dashboard screen, you pulled up a map to Avengers Tower and backed out of the parking lot.

You didn’t seem to mind that she didn’t make conversation, bopping your head gently to whatever pop song was on the radio. Instead she spent the time trying to figure out who you were and why you were being so nice. “It’s rude to stare, you know?” you winked at her.

Wanda felt the heat rush to her cheeks. “Wha- No, sorry,” she mumbled. She’d done it again, made herself look dumb. You giggle, returning your eyes to the road. Trying not to stare at you this time, she observed the fancy watch adorning your wrist, and the sleek interior of the car. You must be a businesswoman of some sort, since this clearly wasn’t your average suburban car. But you were wearing jeans. Maybe a lower level employee than?

She sat there musing, until the door suddenly opened. “We’re here,” you smiled, gesturing at the grand tower that was now her home.

Why couldn’t she stop being so awkward? This was the third time. Unbuckling the seatbelt, she stumbled out, clutching the paprika to her chest. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime, Wanda.” And with a small wave, you hopped back into your car and drove off.

- - -

Heading straight to her room, Wanda abandoned her plans for paprikash. The whole interaction was quite frankly, baffling. No one was ever nice to her, except for the Avengers. But you clearly knew who she was, driving her back to the tower without an address. Tossing her jacket on her bed, she sighed. It’s not like she’d ever see you again. That’s when she noticed the card peeking out from the pocket. There was a phone number printed neatly on it, and a cursive scrawl underneath. “I am actually interested in the dish though. Could I have the name of it?”

She hadn’t exactly interacted with anyone else, so it must’ve been you. Running her thumb over the ink, she was hit with a renewed sense of energy. Grabbing the paprika, she dashed back down the stairs.

- - -

You’re spinning around in your office chair when your phone goes off. Clicking on the message, a small smile makes its way into your face.

Unknown Number: this is the dish i was talking about

Unknown Number: *image*

Unknown Number: it’s paprikash

- - -

“Hey Wanda,” Tony called, a carefully wrapped package in his arms, “this came for you.”

One look at the scarlet wrapping paper, and she knew who it was from. “Thanks Tony,” she said, grabbing it and running to her room.

Setting the package gently on her bed, she untied the ribbon and unfolded the wrapping paper. Nestled in the middle, a box of cookies.

She grinned to herself. Wanda’s been texting you for a couple of months now, and now she could really say that you’re not strangers. She knows that you can’t cook, but you can bake. You’re a businesswoman “of sorts” you say, and that you’re a pretty busy person. But regardless, you hang out with her, chilling in the local coffee shop, going shopping, even just a stroll around the park. She also knows that this happiness she gets when she sees you is definitely not platonic.

Opening the lid, the chocolate aroma wafts into her room. Her favourite of your baked goods. There’s a note tucked into the side of the box, and she delicately pulls it out. “Be my girlfriend?” she read, the handwriting obviously yours. Wait. Be my girlfriend? She sat there dumbly for a couple of seconds before it hit her. You’re asking her to be your girlfriend. Wanda scrambled for her phone, snapping a picture to send to you.

Y/N: those cookies look delicious, who sent them?

The witch rolled eyes at your antics, but played along.

Wanda: idk, but i just got asked out

Y/N: whoaaaa, did you say yes?

Wanda: yes you dumbass

Y/N: okay, under other circumstances that would’ve hurt, but i’m too excited to care right now <3

Wanda: ...

Wanda: did you try to bribe me with cookies?

Y/N: it worked, didn’t it?

Wanda: i can’t believe i actually like you

Y/N: honestly, me too

Y/N: sorry it’s a busy day, but you wanna come over for dinner?

Wanda: sounds good <3

Y/N: i’ll come pick you up, see you then girlfriend

She didn’t want bugs in her room, so Wanda grabbed the box to put in her kitchen cupboard. Balancing a cookie in her mouth, she was about to close the lid, when a hand pinched one. Eyes immediately glowing red, she locked onto Sam as he backed away, half eaten cookie and hands up in surrender.

“Do that again and I will give you nightmares.”

The Falcon whistled lowly. “Okay. Protective over cookies. Got it.”

“There’s cookies?” Bucky asked, strolling in.

“No.”

“Oh okay.”

- - -

The heroes were sprawled on the couches playing a game of UNO when Wanda came down the stairs.

“What are you doing with that hoodie?” Tony asked sharply.

Wanda furrowed her eyebrows. “This.. hoodie?” she replied, tugging on the drawstrings of the soft item of company clothing she was wearing.

“Yes! That’s my enemy’s!”

She didn’t really want to get into whatever nonsense the genius was spouting again. “My friend lent it to me.”

“You have friends?” joked Sam.

Steve gave the man a warning look. “It’s good that you’re adjusting to life here.”

“I think the important question here,” Natasha said from her spot, “is where are you going?”

“Dinner,” she replied, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. She tried to fight the silly smile that crept into her face whenever she thought about you, but she mustn’t have hid it well enough, since the red headed spy gave her a sickeningly sweet smile.

I hate you, she projected.

Nat winked back.

“Based on the way Miss Maximoff keeps anxiously glancing at the door, there is likely to be someone waiting for her,” Vision piped up. “I have searched the Internet databases, and from what I have gathered, your casual outfit means that you are going with someone you are familiar with. The sharing of clothes is usually reserved for close friends or romantic partners only.”

Of course the android had to get involved.

“Your heart rate seems to be speeding up Miss Maximoff. Are you okay?”

“Wanda Maximoff,” Tony asked slowly, “do you have a boyfriend?”

That’s when all hell broke loose.

“Who is he?”

“Is he hot?”

“Where did you meet?”

“How did you even get a boyfriend?”

“Can we meet him?”

“What-“

“Okay,” she groaned. Well it was bound to happen eventually. She just wished she could’ve gotten even a few months without the teasing. “I have a girlfriend, yes she’s hot, yes I’m going to have dinner with her, and I’ll ask about meeting. I’m going to go now.” With that, she stepped into the elevator.

“Don’t think this conversation is over witchy,” called Tony, as the doors slid shut.

- - -

“Hey,” you smiled as she slid into the car. “What took you so long?”

“The Avengers found out.”

You chuckled at that. “What, did they interrogate you or something?”

“Something like that.” She paused. “They want to meet you.”

“Are you sure?”

“They’re my family, and they’ll love you as much as I do.”

“Cute,” you grinned, “but I don’t know about Tony.”

“Trust me, they’re a mess a lot of the time, but they’re good people.”

You checked through your phone. “I haven’t got anything on around lunch tomorrow. I can come by then, how does that sound?”

“So you’ll come?”

“Anything for my girlfriend.”

- - -

Her green eyes locked onto you amongst the bustle of suits in the lobby.

“Hey.”

You adjusted the grey fabric of your pantsuit. “Hey yourself.”

“Did you wear the suit to impress me?” Wanda asked, delicately tugging on your tie.

“Actually, I’ve got a meeting with the investors later. Gotta make an impression, you know?”

“Well consider me impressed,” she whispered against your ear.

Blushing, you allowed Wanda to lead you to the elevator.

- - -

Clint wasn’t sure what to expect with you. But if Wanda liked you, you were sure to be one of the good sorts. So maybe like a cute girl she met at the cafe or something. He sure as hell wasn’t expecting the confident girl dressed in a suit to step out of the elevator.

All of them were lined up in the common room and he’s pretty sure any normal person would have been intimidated by the sheer amount of Avengers in front of them, but you stepped up to them absolutely unfazed.

“Mr Rogers,” you offered your hand to shake, “a pleasure to meet you.”

Steve was expecting to have to take the lead with introductions, but here you seemed to be handling yourself fine. “Likewise.”

“Is Mr Stark here today?” you asked him.

“He’s a bit busy at the mo-“

Clattering and a string of curses interrupted him. And of course, the man himself stepped into the room, Iron Man debris in his wake.

“Tony,” Steve scolded.

“What? Did you think I’d miss meeting the girl who stole the heart of our cold antisocial emo?”

Wanda tossed a couch pillow at him, but he brushed it off.

“Tony Stark,” he declared.

You shook his hand politely. “I know who you are Mr Stark.”

“And you are...?”

“Y/N L/N.”

The genius might have been singed from his armour, but the moment that name fell from your lips, he yanked his hand away, as if he was burned.

“L/N. As in L/N Corporations?”

“That’s me.”

Abruptly he turned to Wanda. “Do you know who this is?” he hissed. “The greatest rival to Stark Industries. I thought you were introducing your girlfriend.”

You gave him a winning smile. “I am her girlfriend Mr Stark. And you may have made me your rival, but I can assure you that you are not mine.”

Sam snorted.

“What are you doing here then? Are you here to try and steal data? You can’t...”

You paid him no mind as you winked at Sam. Spotting the metal arm, your eyes widened. “You must be Bucky, right? Princess Shuri told me she’d been working on some vibranium projects. I’d love to take a closer look some other day if you don’t mind?”

“How do you know Shuri?” Stark spluttered.

“You think that she only talks to rich boys who need her help? Sorry to burst your bubble.”

Nat couldn’t help but smirk at this.

“Oh and I’ve actually been working on some prototype Widow Bites as a bit of a free time project,” you added. “If you’re interested, your opinion on usage would really help me to refine them.”

“Of course.”

“Traitor,” Tony glared.

It’s at this point your phone began to ring. Glancing down, you offered a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, I’ve really got to take this.” You turned to face the wall as your friendly tone turned professional.

The Avengers huddled together as your call went on.

“Is she using you for information?” Tony scowled.

Wanda scowled back. “She’s my girlfriend Stark. Not everything is about you.”

He looked as if he was going to say more, but Steve interrupted.

“Look Tony, she seemed like a perfectly lovely girl.”

“Yeah I like her,” added Sam. “She can keep your ego in check.”

“If Wanda likes her, I’m fine with it too.” Clint said.

Wanda gave him a thankful look.

A cough came awkwardly behind them.

“I really hate to cut this short everyone, but something’s come up back at the office. Investors are a pain.”

“Yeah go on back to your investors then,” spat Tony.

“Wow” you drawled, heading back to the elevator, “is the rich card the only thing you can play Stark?”

The light on the wall indicated that the cab had arrived, and you stepped inside the carriage which would take you back down, as Peter stepped out.

“Oh hey Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“I was just leaving Pete, but swing by later, alright?”

“You know it.”

“Oh and I heard you liked the hoodie I gave Wanda, Mr Stark,” you called. “I can grab you one as well, since it’s my company. But I really do gotta run now. Nice to meet you all!” The metal doors slid shut on your grinning face.

There was a silence, before Tony turned on his protégée. “How the hell are you on a first name business with her?”

“We’re friends?” Peter offered.

“Friends?”

“She went to college with me. She was super smart and we hung out and stuff. You know, what friends usually do.”

Squirming under his mentor’s gaze, he continued. “She was too smart for college though, so she dropped out and started her company. It didn’t mean we stopped being friends though.”

“Why didn’t you tell me Underoos?”

“She figured you might overreact, especially with the web sho-“ The boy’s eyes widened, and he made a mad dash for the stairs.

But Tony grabbed his wrist. “What were you saying?”

Peter sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “She helped me out with my web shooters in college, and since then, she’s been developing them with me.”

“What?”

“She knows I’m Spider-Man and I work with her on my tech,” he said slowly.

The man surveyed his teammates, making deliberate eye contact with each and every one of them. “Traitors, the lot of you,” he huffed.

“I mean you gotta admit it,” laughed Sam. “She’s college age, and built an empire to rival you. Not to mention that she’s pretty, smart, has better PR and actual time management skills-“

“Okay I get it,” the genius cut him off.

“Don’t be upset,” Clint smirked, “you can’t lose if you’re not her competition.”

Tony stomped off.

“Don’t worry about him, he’ll come around,” Steve said gently, nodding at Wanda who was fiddling anxiously with her rings.

“She was cool,” added Nat. “Tony can be a pain in the ass, but he knows she’s a good person.”

Her phone buzzed in her hand.

<3: i’d say that went pretty well

Wanda: cannot believe you didn’t tell me

<3: i’m really sorry babe, please don’t hate me

Wanda: i could never

<3: just didn’t want him to stop you from fraternising with the enemy or whatever

Wanda: i’d break the rules for you any day

<3: how romantic

<3: so miss rebel, you coming over tonight?

Wanda: depends if you’re still wearing the suit

<3: anything for you ;)

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda marvel #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #scarlet witch #marvel #mcu

161 notes · View notes

goldentsum · 4 years ago

Text

— love, you can’t run away from me forever.

PAIRING: soulmate! suna rintarou x reader

GENRE: smut, soulmate au but make it dark

WORDCOUNT: 5.5k

SUMMARY: growing up in a world filled with soulmates was magical but with news about people going crazy and killing people for their “love” made suna repulsive to the idea of soulmates though when you came along, he finally understood why those people did it.

WARNING: dark content, smut, noncon, manipulative tendencies, cussing/cursing, creepy! and delulu! suna, mean! reader, masturbation (male), photos and audio recording taken w/o consent, kidnapping, oral sex (fem receiving), bdsm, sadistic! suna, dom! suna, violence, abuse, blood, suna is a dick, reader who tries to fight back

AUTHOR’S NOTE: another one cus why not! you guys seemed to liked my first dark fic so here’s another one! <3 might be bad idk prob cus of my writing HAHAHHA also, suna just being a creepy and psychopathic aquarius. DO NOT INTERACT/READ IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR DON’T LIKE THIS TYPE OF CONTENT.

REMINDER: this is not love and i do not condone this type of behavior. do not romanticize this, this is fiction and in no way am i telling people this is okay. if you don’t like content like this, please click away or block the tag tw.darkcontent

‘the world is fucked up,’ suna thought, looking at his phone as he saw all types of news about people killing and committing all types of felonies to prove that their love for their soulmates were real.

the stoic male grimaced at one news he came upon when he scrolled up, a young man killed his family and friends because “he doesn’t need anyone else beside his soulmate”. now that was fucked up. suna never thought he'd lose faith in humanity even more with each passing day. it was actually impressive with how fucking stupid and delusional people get when the topic of soulmates come up.

gold eyes narrowed at the inked skin of his wrist. “(l/n) (y/n)” or whoever that is better not mind never having a soulmate because there’s no way in hell suna’s going to be all lovey-dovey and accept the soulmate bullshit.

he thinks that soulmates are a scam. it was a hoax to make people do stupid shit and suna will not tolerate that type of bull. if he’s gonna end up with someone, it’ll be because he likes them not because of ‘fate’ or whatever decided it for him.

he will never conform to society and its standards.

“suna! what’s with the ugly face?” atsumu snickered, plopping down on the seat beside suna making the taller male groan.

“oh fuck off, atsumu. i’m not in the mood for your bullshit”

“when have you ever been in a mood for bullshit?”

suna raised a brow and hummed, “good point”

atsumu shook his head and turned to the counter where his brother was standing behind. “’samu! i want 3 tuna onigiris!”

osamu glared at his brother and scowled, “get it yourself, lazy ass”

“i’m paying you!” atsumu whined like the little brat he is but osamu ignored him and tended to the other customers in his shop. suna groaned at the noise, “for fuck’s sake, tsumu. shut up. your voice is so annoying”

atsumu glared at the man and punched his shoulder, making suna winced and scowled at his former teammate from highschool. the older miya twin huffed and ignored his words, continuing what he was about to say before suna insulted him, “anyway! what i was trying to say earlier was that people around us are finding their soulmates while i’m stuck with you bums! how is that fair?!”

suna groaned, annoyed, at the same old topic of soulmates. “soulmates are overrated. it’s a scam. you’re lucky you haven’t met yours yet if anything.”

the setter scoffed at suna’s old same line of bitterness towards the topic of soulmates, “what’s with you, anyway? what’s with the bitterness towards soulmates?”

“it’s bullshit, is all” suna replied easily, not bothered nor giving a shit. atsumu smirked and threw an arm over the male’s shoulder, “one day, you’ll meet your soulmate and everything’s gonna change.”

“did you just curse me or?”

“I don't know, did i?”

oh for fuck’s sake. atsumu really did cursed him. suna stared in awe, uncharacteristically so, at you while you glared at him. you clicked your tongue when his gaze was still as dazed and lovesick since you two have met.

“fuck off, rintarou! i told you i don’t want any soulmate bullshit!”

suna chuckled with a small blush on his cheeks, “i love it when you call me, rintarou--”

“because that’s your name, stupid! you know what, i’m not even gonna bother. and for the last time, stop following me!” you growled, stomping off to get away from your creep of a soulmate but the man didn’t mind your words. it was quite amusing to him to be honest.

you’re so cute and small and so angry at the world that it’s so endearing to him. with every glare you give him, it sends pleasant shivers down his spine. ah, so this is what it felt to be with your soulmate. it’s addicting. you two could rule the world together if you want to.

“love, you can’t run away from me forever. i’m your soulmate”

you groaned at the persistent male, “i don’t want you as a soulmate! why can’t you understand that?!”

suna stopped following you after your harsh words. you also stopped, your anger subsiding a bit when you realized what you said and all of a sudden, there was a pain in your heart. you cursed at the soulmate bond that was not letting you reject your fate. guilt resurfaced in your gut when you looked at suna who’s staring at the ground, eyes hidden under his bangs.

“r-rintarou?.. look i’m sorry, okay. but i don’t really want any soulmate business in my life-...” you tried to explain but quickly cut your words off when suna started chuckling.

scared and terrified at the creepy laugh and unexpected action, you stepped back and looked at him with wide eyes. suna then looked up at you and smirked, the dark glint in his eyes gave you the creeps, his breath heavy as he panted like a dirty pervert! his eyes were so filled with emotions. lust, obsession, and ‘love’ but you don’t even know if you can call it ‘love’...

“did you feel that? it shows... no matter what you do. we’re connected.”

oh fuck no. this psycho is not worth it. you grimaced at his words and turned back around swiftly, walking faster to get away from him.

“fate will always bring us together, (y/n). the quicker you accept that, the easier life gets” you heard him shouted after you and it only made you quicken your actions, heart beating rapidly at what just happened.

suna smirked at your figure as it grew smaller and smaller. he figured he’d let you go for now. it’s not like you can hide from him. you can try but the ink on your skin will always remind you where you belong and that’s with him.

the tall male looked at his phone, the screen showing a picture of you sleeping. he traced your features through the phone with a loving sigh and quickly stuffed it back to his pocket. he whistled a small tune under his breath on his way back home, his thoughts filled with you.

suna walked inside his apartment, shrugging his shoulders to loosen the tight muscles. he groaned in annoyance when his shoes got stuck on his foot but quickly shook it off. the moment he was in his bedroom, he removed his shirt and plopped down on the bed, opening his phone again.

in his phone, there was a whole album of you. sleeping, eating, at the gym, when you were at the library. suna also opened one of the files in his phone as sounds of you breathing when you were sleeping echoed in the room.

a small moan escaped the phone, suna’s eyes shining slyly at the sound. oh how he wants to hear it in person. he wants to hear every lovely sound you can make. he wants to know everything about you.

what type of weather do you like? do you like cereal at night like him? do you have a special place for cats in your heart like he does? do you hate heat like him? and do you like getting fucked so hard the only thing you can do is scream?

suna sighed at the last thought as rapid images of what you would look like popped in his head. would you look pouty? would you cry? would you be quiet and shy? or would you moan like a bitch in heat?

the familiar twitch in his sweats made suna antsy. a hand drifted to his pants to palm himself through the cloth.

suna massaged his hardening cock through his pants, letting out sighs as he did so. your soft breathing from the phone was making him harder. he imagined you beside him, sleeping. looking so innocent and safe from all the vile things of the world. safe with him.

your plump lips curled into a small pout as your brows furrows while you dream then waking up, needy for him. suna groaned and swiftly tugged his sweats and boxers off him. he spat on his hand, hissing when he started stroking his thick cock. drifting to the sensitive head of his cock, he massaged it with the slick spit as it ooze out pre-cum.

he quickly coated his digits with the precum and slicked his twitching cock with it for the smooth friction he was craving. he panted at the feeling when he tightened his grip on his dick, trying to imagine your tight wet pussy instead.

“s-shit, baby... feels so good’“ he slurred, closing his eyes to focus on the feeling of the tight grip, stroking himself to a slow rhythm. in his mind, he can see your pretty face.

he can imagine you on top of him, rolling your hips slowly to not overstimulate yourself with his large cock inside of you. suna licked his lips, a small smirk appearing on his face as he imagined the cute little noises you made when you tried to fit him in you.

his thick cock hitting so deeply inside you but oh how you like it, you slut. you’d look so gorgeous, moaning on top of him, hands on his chest whilst you ride him.

“r-rintarou” he can hear your lewd voice calling out, your breath getting heavier with each stroke of his cock, dragging in your tight wet walls. your big doe eyes filled with tears as you look down at him, trying to get some help from him to fuck you good already.

he cursed when he felt a familiar band trying to snap in his lower stomach, his hand getting faster. wet slapping sounds echoed in the room along with your soft breathing on his phone. his violent and aggressive movements were getting him closer to his release.

this is how he wants it to be. him fucking you so violently making you cry, hands gripping you tight that your pretty skin would bloom with violets and blue.

he can already see it, how your tongue will roll out your pretty lips whilst you get fucked so hard that all you can do is lay and scream for him, your soulmate. your other half. you belong to him.

“ha-ah-!” suna groaned deeply when his release hit him, thick warm cum hit his clenching abs as the spiraling pleasure made him shiver. his hand pumping his dick fast to ride his orgasm, his chest heaving deep pants. the male gulped down, trying to wet his dry throat as he slowly calmed down. lazy yellow eyes stared up in the white ceiling of his bed.

he needs you. he wants to feel you. he wants to be with you. now.

you sighed as you walked home to your apartment, it has been a week since your crazy soulmate tried to bother you in accepting him and it was making you jumpy. his eyes just showed so much when you last saw him that it made you paranoid with every movement that was happening around you.

you entered your room, exhaling a deep breath of relief as you felt the warm air of your safe home. it was nice to be in your apartment again. no one to bother you. safe from the crazy man that suddenly stopped messing with you.

after shrugging off your coat, you enter your kitchen to get a glass of water. all the overthinking about the mess that fate got you into was making your head hurt. as you greedily gulped down the water to soothe your dry throat, a movement from the dark living room made you choke on it.

“shit” you cursed and looked at the wet floor. you put the glass down and looked at the dark living room, trying to catch any movement. you then quietly went to the knives beside you and grabbed one, walking cautiously through the room. you flickered the lights on, ready to strike if something attacked you, but as the lights went on, you sighed in relief when you saw no one.

you let your hand drop beside you, rolling your eyes at yourself at the paranoia. you cursed the man that did this. now you were overthinking stuff and seeing shadows.

when you were about to turn around, a large hand covered your mouth and tightly gripped your wrist that held the knife, making it clunk to the floor as you screamed but the hand muffled it.

“stop fuckin moving already.. you’re gonna just tire yourself” the familiar voice made your body stiff, your blood went cold. crying against his hand when you felt his lips touch your ear, teeth grazing it.

“you’re so pretty” he cooed, his voice heavy and slow. tears pricked your eyes as you struggled against his hold but the tall man was obviously stronger than you being an athlete. you tried to stomp on his feet but the man nudged you forward with his weight as you two tumbled into the couch.

you can feel the vibration of his chuckle as his chest was against your back. you heard him sigh and a small grind on your ass was enough to make you feel disgusted and dirty.

“i apologize for this next action, (y/n)” suna muttered beside your eyes and he leaned back, quickly turning you around. before you could even scream, pain blossomed on your cheek. your vision turned blurry at the impact, dizzy.

this motherfucker just punched you. you faced him again and spat the blood on his face, your lip busted as well. “f-fuck you!”

suna growled at your actions but quickly smirked, wiping away the bloody spit on his eye while he held you down.

“a tough one~ i like that” he whispered and you could feel a hard nudge on your inner thigh making you grimace. this man was fucked up... he just got hard from punching you and you fighting back-

suna smirking down at you was the last thing you remember then everything went dark.

the room was cold. and your limbs ached with each movement you did. you opened your eyes and panic hit you when you couldn’t see anything. you tried to call out but there was a gag on your mouth.

you cried through the gag, you cursed everything. you hate fate for getting you into this mess. you curse soulmates bonds, you were right. soulmates are a bunch of bullshit. just look at where that ended you up in. most importantly, you hate him. if you can, you’ll kill him on the spot.

the fucking psychopath. your soulmate.

you bit the cloth on your mouth as the binds on your eyes got wet from the tears that escaped from your eyes. your feelings were a mess and all you could feel is anger, shame, and dread.

“oh, you’re awake. that’s good. i thought i hit you harder than i intended to, thank god that you’re okay” you heard the familiar voice that you loathe. you growled through your gag but suna could only laugh at your pathetic attempt of dominance when you’re gagged, blindfolded, and tied to the bed.

“now now, no need for that. we want to get along, don’t we” he muttered, walking closer to you and sat on the bed, beside you.

you flinched when you felt his weight beside you and his hands caressed your cheek. you whimpered at the dull pain when he touches your cheek. this fucker touched where he punched you--

“that looked like it’ll bruise” you growled again at his words. you wanted to scream at him. hit him. make him feel the pain of what he did to you.

your fussing about stopped and you stiffened when you felt him shift on top of you, going in between your legs. you tried to close your legs but his hands were faster than you.

he maneuvered you like a doll he owns, fixing you into a position he liked. suna gazed at your tied-up body, his cock already starting to harden in his pants. he wants to touch you already.

his hand went up and tugged your blindfold as he smiled at your dazed look that changed to a mean one. suna chuckled at your spirit. it was making him excited.

“you’re too cute, love” he muttered, leaning closer to your neck and nuzzled into you, taking in your scent loudly making you flinch in dread.

“you smell so sweet,” he said against your neck, an unconscious shiver running up your body. suna smirked when he felt it and continued to nuzzle his face in your neck. his hands touching and groping your body while you growled through the gag but he barely even paid attention to it, too caught up at the feeling of finally touching you and being with you.

“i wanna taste you~” he whispered lewdly, looking deep into your eyes with a smirk. your eyes widened at his words and mustered up all the strength you had and hit his head against yours.

you were disoriented after it but it was worth it when you heard his curse as he leaned away. your forehead was red you were sure and it’ll bruise with how hard his head was.

“you bitch-!” your moment of victory was cut off when large hands wrapped around your neck, squeezing it. you choked, wriggling around to get away from suna but he leaned all his weight on top of you.

he glared down at you, watching with sick satisfaction when your eyes slowly fluttered close and your struggling gradually ceased. suna can snap your neck right now if he wants to. the power he has over you almost made him drool, his cock twitching excitedly in his pants.

he let your neck go, heart beating fast when he saw finger marks on your neck, the shape of his hands on your skin. he watched you cough and try to inhale air, desperately.

suna then grasped your chin in a tight hold and turned you to face him, making your dazed eyes look up at him, “do that again and i’ll make you bleed.”

he let your chin go harshly and climbed off you, going out of the room. you gulped and intake the precious air, looking at the door with fear and anger.

being with suna was an absolute nightmare. you don’t know how long it has been since the psycho kidnapped you and it was agitating. you fought back but suna liked it because it gave him the excuse to hurt you. you knew this but you just can’t give him the satisfaction he craved of you submitting to him.

your body was slumped into the bed whilst you cried as suna ate you out. his fingers pumping viciously in and out of you, tongue lapping on your swollen clit. he denied you 4 orgasms already and your body was so sensitive from it.

“just fucking accept this already!” suna growled against your pussy, the vibrations sending violent shivers in your body. you writhe and keened, your body in his mercy.

you shook your head, tears streaming down your red and bruised cheeks. your neck was decorated with purple and red, bite marks and fingerprints alike. your wrists red and raw from the rope he used on you constantly.

“n-no!”

suna rolled his eyes at your disobedience but let you be. he knows you’ll be his good girl sooner or later. he just has to try harder, he guesses.

he sucked on your clit messily, tonguing your wetness. his fingers caressing your walls as he hit your g-spot making you arch your back. suna smirked and continued his ministrations, ignoring your pleading to let you cum already.

he felt your walls clenching on his fingers as he stopped altogether making you cry in desperation. suna leaned on his feet, admiring the way your body tried to hump him to get the satisfaction of cumming.

your body is so beautiful. before it was pristine and void of any marks and flaws but now your skin was decorated with purple and red courtesy of his love for you.

“you really wanna do this, (y/n)? you rather be a bad girl than be my precious girl?” suna tried to reason with you, his tone was as if he was talking to a child. you scowled at him, “fuck you, asshole!”

suna’s eyes turned dark at it. one thing he can’t tolerate was you saying such crude and bad words. he raised his hand and slapped you, the force of it made you turn to the side as you gasped at the pain.

blood dripped from your nose. suna then grabbed your cheeks, squeezing. he glared down at you. “when will you learn... and here i thought you were smarter than that”

you cried at the pain of his grip on your face and the sting of his slap was still there as his fingers pressed down to the bruises you had on your face. he shook your head, growling, “what do you say when you do something wrong”

he continued to shake you, your aching limbs hurt at the violent movements. you whimpered and unconsciously replied, “i’m sorry-!”

suna stopped and removed his hands from you. you looked up at him with teary eyes and saw him smiling softly at you. his mood swings were scary. you don’t really know what type of suna you’ll get before it’s too late...

“atta girl...” he muttered and started to remove his pants. you panicked at his actions and tried to move away but the painful slap on your thigh was enough to make you stop.

“now, let me fuck you”

suna grabbed your ankle and pulled you down on the bed further, closer to him. he pumped his cock at the sight of you, so pretty and crying

“rintarou please-! d-don’t!” you cried, feeling so helpless and all your fire from earlier and the past days gone. the dark-haired male grinned at your sobbing and fussing about.

“tsk. be a good girl, (y/n). just accept it.” he leaned closer to you, whispering against your wobbly lips. his dark yellow eyes stared straight into yours, lust swirling around his orbs. your body shook in fear and a small cry leaving your swollen lips.

in one swift movement, suna entered you. he captured your lips, muffling your screams because of him suddenly entering you. the wet squishing noises were triggering your tears. you felt disgusted with yourself that you were enjoying the stretch and the feeling of being filled up by this psycho.

maybe in another world where you two have met differently. a perfect world where things weren’t complicated. if you two worked it out and things were different then maybe you’ve actually loved him and accepted him as your soulmate. but not in this world. not now.

you cried when suna started moving, hitting your g-spot with every thrust. your body arched on the bed, feeling the pleasure. suna panted above you, arms caging you and his muscles contracting with every movement he does.

suna cursed at the feeling, it felt so good. you feel so good. your wet and squishy walls sucking him so eagerly. the lewd sounds of your wetness and his constant thrusting was making him more excited.

he stopped for a moment, pulling out from your pussy to put you in all fours and then entered you again when he moved you the way he likes. suna groaned, fucking deep into you. his tip grazing your cervix making you squeal. you can feel your orgasm coming faster because of the orgasms suna denied you earlier. you sobbed, hips unconsciously thrusting back to his dick.

the male chuckled breathily, sneaking a hand between your legs to play with your swollen clit. you choked on a moan when you felt him massaging your clit. you let your head plop down to the mattress, arms wobbly, and all you could do was moan as your body jerking at the pleasure suna was giving you.

“oh honey, you should see how slutty your body gets when i’m fucking you” he snickered behind you, hips never relenting with his fast and hard thrusts.

you felt tears trail down your bruised cheeks, you don’t know if it’s because of the shame you felt earlier or the pleasure. the fast circles suna gave your clit made you whine and moan as you felt your orgasm wash over you.

you howled at the satisfying feeling of the violent orgasm, finally cumming after the torture of not coming four times earlier. suna smirked at the way your body convulsed beneath him.

the unwavering fucking from behind was sending you to overstimulation and suna’s fingers still rubbed down your sensitive clit. you whined and keened, drool slipping past your lips.

“so fucked out” suna muttered and bent to lean against your back, his dick twitching in your wet walls. he then angled his thrust differently making you gasp.

he leaned back again, staring at your sweaty discolored back, from his bites from the past fun times you two had, and the way you leaned against the pillows as your pretty face contorting into a fucked out expression, so lewd.

a large hand trailed down to the back of your neck, grabbing it and letting you lean against suna’s chest. his hand then wrapped around your dainty neck, squeezing, as he felt the vibrations of your moans.

“pretty baby~”

his other hand gripped your hips, stilling your wiggling around as he fucked into your harder at the newly changed angle. you whimpered at the way his thick cock reached so deep into you.

suna moaned beside your ear, hips slowly losing his rhythm as he chased his own orgasm. his self-control snapping into something greedy and feral. he ignored your cries and fucked you so he can finally cum.

the way he used you wasn’t supposed to feel this good. although he didn’t have any intention to make you feel good, the way his dick stuffed your full and the way his thickness stretched you was made you feel the familiar band in your stomach trying to snap once again.

he unconsciously squeezed your neck, breath heavy, when he felt his orgasm getting closer. he growled, thrusting sloppily in you, the sounds of your wetness echoed in the room along with your broken moans and rasps. you can feel him twitching inside you sending you into another orgasm.

you screamed, body arching against suna. the way your pussy squeezed him and the feeling of you cumming again triggered his own. suna moaned, painting your insides with his cum as he rode his orgasm, ignoring your whining.

he panted, removing his hold on you and letting you hit and slump unto the bed. you whined at the action. suna pulled out of you as he admired the way your pussy was filled with his cum, dripping down to your thighs and down to the sheets. he licked his lips at the sight and leaned closer to you as if he was lured in.

you gasped and cried when you felt his tongue wiggling around your sensitive pussy. you squeezed your eyes close tightly, body shivering at the overstimulation but suna barely paid any attention to you. he only wanted to satisfy his desires.

you gazed at the plain ceiling, dully. the soft breathing of the insane male beside you was making you grimace. he just finished fucking you or what he calls, “soulmate bonding time” but all he did was make you cry.

the sun was up and it was probably noon now but suna normally sleeps in and today was no exception. the phone beside suna’s side on the table started buzzing, circling a little because of the vibration. you heard suna groaned, always the light sleeper. you quickly closed your eyes and hid your face in the covers and pillows.

you felt the male shifting and after a while, he started talking in his annoyingly attractive deep voice. sleep taking a toll in his vocal cords making it all husky. you internally cursed the soulmate bond trying to make you see him in another light or some bullshit like that.

“hey, what’s up?”

you continued to listen to the one-sided conversation as you pretend to be asleep. your heart skipped a beat when you heard suna’s words.

“yeah, come over. i’ll introduce you to her”

your body stiffened but tried to relax. maybe this was your chance to expose him. you have to try something, you can’t keep letting him do these things to you...

a soft sleepy groan, the sound someone makes when they stretch, rung inside the quiet room. the covers shifted a bit and a disgustingly familiar body heat hit your skin as two large hands caressed your skin.

“baby? i’m gonna introduce you to my friends, that’s okay right? it’s time i show off my pretty baby~” you heard him coo. you bit your lip, how can this man act like your relationship with him is normal... you then became painfully aware of the bruises and scars on your body making you self-conscious as you tried to make yourself smaller.

“they’ll see all of these” he whispered sweetly with a dazed look on his eyes as he traced the marks that were in purple-y and reddish hues that it was too nauseating to look at but suna thought it was so beautiful on you.

suna spent all afternoon dolling you up, fixing your short dress that shows every mark he gave you. your eyes looked at your reflection. you teared up at the sight. you didn’t look like yourself anymore...

tired eyes that sagged with dark bags under it. a deep purple bruise on your cheek. your bottom lip was cut from suna’s slap, neck decorated with hickeys and fingerprints, skin discolored.

the man behind you started whistling the godforsaken tune he always sang under his breath as he combed your hair. after fixing your hair, he let his hands down on your shoulders and looked at you through the mirror.

“ain’t you a pretty little thing...” he muttered, admiring you. you let your gaze shift down to your lap as the male carried you to the living room.

“now behave.” his word was final as always. do not question it nor do you go against it. or he’ll hurt you... again and again...

a loud voice cut through the quiet atmosphere in the apartment and impatient knocks was heard. “suna! open the damn door, already!”

the dark-haired male sighed and went to the door. your heart started beating a little too fast. when his guests see you, or your state, you’ll get away from here... or maybe he’ll hurt them too... you shook your head. trying to stay positive so you can get out of this hellhole.

a tall man with golden dyed locks entered the room along with someone who looked similar to him though their hair was different. honey brown eyes lock with your tired ones, you were hopeful when you saw the confusion in his eyes.

the man looked back to suna who stood next to him, you knew you were saved when the two identical men glared at him but then they started talking--

“geez! here i thought you’ll be gentler now that you met your soulmate!”

“suna? gentle? like hell. now where’s the food. you promised me food, suna”

your eyes got teary as you suppressed a gasp. of course, his friends were as insane as he was.

the golden haired male then smiled at you like there was nothing wrong. like he doesn’t see all the fucking bruises on your body, “hey, darlin’~ suna’s been beating you, huh? were you misbehaving~?”

suna growled at the man and shoved him, “shut the fuck up, atsumu” the two started bickering like everything was normal as they ignored you...

you sniffled and turned to the light nudged from your side, you looked at the other male that entered the apartment. the man offered you some pudding as a spoon was hanging from his lips. “you look like you need it, miss” he said, his face unfazed.

you took the pudding with shaking hands and lowered your head as the three men walked around the room, conversing with each other.

maybe, suna’s right... life would be easier if you just accepted him. you were stuck with him now and always and his name on your skin will forever be the reminder of that.

fate has a weird way of pairing people up and you can’t do anything about it.

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jayz4dayz · 4 years ago

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Kakegurui character headcanons that are canon in my eyes (Part 3)

Midari:

You already know this bitch has done hard drugs. She’s probably a dealer at Hyakkaou too ngl

Actually very intelligent and could get all A’s if she cared enough to

Canonly lesbian

She/they vibes

Hardcore energy drink consumer. Monster and Redbull cans are all over the floor of her dorm room

If you simp for her… ya got mommy and daddy issues, luv-

Is physically touchy toward everyone, but lowkey recoils when someone she doesn’t know or trust touches her

Actively tries to annoy the shit out of both Sayaka and Yuriko as her way of showing her affection

Night person

I can see her actively practicing witchcraft

Favorite holiday is Halloween

Probably has a glass eye somewhere but doesn’t bother putting it in because the eyepatch is a ✨look✨

Was the kid in school who ate glue or play dough

Is best friends with Sayaka. Do not fight me on this

Needs to go to therapy. Honestly, who doesn’t in that school

Weapon of choice is her revolver, of course <3

Will often lay in Yuriko’s lap because Yuriko actually lets her. It’s one of her favorite things to do when she needs to unwind

Slytherin. 100% a Slytherin.

Has at least one tattoo somewhere and nipple piercings too if we’re being honest

Can’t stand hot weather and prefers the cold

Avid fan and listener of the band Mother Mother

Canonly almost shot a person on accident or on purpose with her revolver

Will flirt with Kirari just to piss off Sayaka

Will flirt with Yuriko just to see her get flustered

(Y’all can come after me all you want for this one) Has a crush on Yuriko

ESTP-A personality type

Has a pet tarantula

Most likely had a pen explode in her mouth while she was chewing on it in class at some point

Everyone asks “where is Midari?” but no one asks “how is Midari?”

Favorite color is black or purple

For SURE owns at least one choker

Yuriko:

Refuses to take hard drugs but has accidentally gotten high off her ass from an edible. Midari’s edible, mind you

Is the mom friend of the group

Owns a minivan and drives Midari and Runa places

Has a dent on the side of the same minivan because Midari hit the side of it with a shopping cart that Runa was in

Nurse vibes tbh

Keeps her eyes closed because she’s lowkey blind and can’t see much anyway

Ravenclaw all the way

Was a horse girl in elementary school

Has either really beautiful emerald green eyes or average Hudson-river colored brown eyes. Will we ever know?

Is secretly a cat girl. Why else do you think I used that image in particular for her

Easily flustered

Has a crush on Midari but is still confused about her sexuality

She sure as hell ain’t straight tho. Not in that school...

An only child

Is struggling, but wears a smile regardless

Stepped on a butterfly once and sobbed

Ya know... say what you want, but I get vegetarian/vegan vibes from her

Avid hot tea drinker

Has pollen allergies

Morning person

Prefers warmer weather and hates the rain

Has spa days with Yumemi once and a while

Can’t lift anything heavier than twenty pounds probably

Would be on the Volley ball team if she wasn’t head of the Culture Club

Several girls in her club have a huge crush on her and compete against Midari to gain her affection and attention

Has straight A’s

Idk why, but I can’t see her knowing how to swim

Gets cold easily

Wears kimonos even when she’s at home

Enjoys reading classical literature

Also enjoys listening to classical music

Would never admit this, but she listens to K-pop

Has a hidden talent for drawing

ISFJ-T personality type

Weapon of choice is a bo-staff (which is really just a broom stick) or Midari

Can speak Japanese, Korean, and Mandarin

Runa:

Has absolutely done crack and likely a handful of other drugs

Has a sugar addiction, but we already knew that one

G R E M L I N E N E R G Y

Most likely has ADHD or ADD or both even

I saw somewhere that said she’s 18?? Like, what?? She looks like she’s 12 tf...

Asexual/Aromatic icon

Hufflepuff vibes, but I can also kinda see her as a Slytherin

Jokingly homophobic towards Kirasaya and Yuridari

Will drink nothing aside from soda or energy drinks

Not a furry, contrary to popular belief. Just enjoys her onesies. Let her live her life jeez

Canonly a baddie

Short, but will not hesitate in destroying your kneecaps

Actually really close to the Momobami and Ikishima family

Plays video games with Midari almost every day after school since Aoi left

Ironically uses “UwU” and “Ara, ara” but does not ironically call people a simp. Can you blame her? She’s surrounded by wlw

Will beat you in Mario Cart. Yes she will. I don’t care how good you think you are

Has managed to not break a single bone in her body despite her size

Is good at every subject except for geography

Can’t drive, but owns a scooter which she’ll use to get to school if Yuriko is unable to drive her

Owns a pair of Heely’s with wheels

Unironically wears socks with sandals

Also wears crocs

Listens to rap

Is fast af. “Zoom, zoom, bitches!”

Secretly a badass gambler

Gets approximately 2-5 hours of sleep each night because she stays up playing video games

Naps during her classes

Listens and ignores whenever Kirari is pining over Sayaka and talking to her about it

ENFP-A personality type

I can see her owning a hedgehog for some reason, but also a rabbit

Would probably get away with murder if we’re being honest

Is not a natural blonde

Two faced. Like seriously, don’t get on this bitch’s bad side. She’ll destroy you

#kakegurui #kakegurui headcanons #midari ikishima #Yuriko Nishinotouin #runa yomozuki #midari x yuriko #yuridari #kirasaya #These headcanons are becoming more and more crackish #I rly wanna make one more of these

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h34rtizuku · 3 years ago

Text

𝔭𝔦𝔱𝔶 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔶

i hate angst without happy endings, but i’m also self-destructive. therapy is expensive, but ripping your own heart out and bearing your insecurities into a full-fledged story for you and others to read? free.

warnings : angst without a happy ending, insecurities, jealousy, mayhaps toxic behavior?? idk if ur looking for a good time, this isn’t for you bestie <3 also i might misspell uraraka’s name wrong a few times, i’ll fix them later :*

being quirkless had its advantages. with such a small number of us being born without powers, it left a lot of the mundane jobs open.

which is why, as soon as pro-hero deku opened his agency, i came to him with the request to be his assistant.

on the daily, he had people coming up to him asking for internships or to be his sidekick. but he never had anyone ask to be his assistant.

being the number one hero often meant that every day things, things one may take for granted or deem insignificant became just another list of things on the busy man’s to-do list.

therefore the appeal of having someone file his paper work and run to get him coffee in the morning was great enough to hire me.

and i was glad he did.

this is what i have been working for since i was a first year in high school. after watching the freckled boy break limb after limb to defeat his opponent.

yeah, i saw it as irresponsible and stupid that he had to break his own body to save others. but i was willing to overlook it.

my one goal during my remaining years of high school and up to college was that wherever that little green haired boy went, i would follow.

and that reigned true as his assistant. i would shuffle after him like a duckling following it’s mother, wherever he needed me.

if he needed me in a briefing to take notes for him, i was there. if he needed me to put in overtime to help him file the last minute paperwork, i was there. if he wanted a particular pastry from a specific bakery half way across town, i was there.

izuku was never mean, or demanding. always thanking me profusely for anything i ever did for him. leaving me to remind him that this was my job, and any way to make his life easier was good enough for me.

but maybe i should have held onto those blushed cheeks and crinkled eyes as he thanked me for the coffee that he didn’t even know he needed, for a just a little bit longer.

you know how a child will open a new toy on christmas and it quickly becomes their new favorite toy? playing with it non-stop, taking it wherever they go. until one day, they grow bored of it and never touch it again as it grows dusty at the bottom of their toy bin.

i know izuku wasn’t doing it on purpose, he didn’t have an intentionally mean bone in his body. i guess you could say, some other toys came around and took his attention away.

and that toy, was a particularly difficult mission in collaboration with uravity’s agency.

the two spent long hours cooped in his office as they went over notes, plans, intel, etc. until the conversation melted into talk about the old days and the wonderful memories they had together in high school.

i went to work the following days with absolutely no energy to handle whatever would be thrown at me. i hadn’t been able to get much sleep, as when i closed my eyes the only thing i could see was the look in his eyes when he saw her.

my patience was already thin given the events of the most recent week, but when the printer started malfunctioning leaving me unable to fax the papers izuku wanted me send, you could say that was the first domino.

i swatted and kicked and pressed any button on the stupid machine. telling myself i was merely trying to get to stupid thing to work, but deep down i knew that the printer was just my temporary punching bag. an outlet to unleash my anger and emotions onto something instead of letting them fester inside me.

so when one of izuku’s sidekicks came by, giving a snarky comment about my behavior, i was able to brush it off with a roll of my eyes and an equally snippy comment back.

but as the hunk of plastic remained steady in its plan to ruin my day, the lack of sleep and lingering resentment started to bubble within me once more.

i heard footsteps behind me and a joking voice say, “having a bit of trouble are we?”

if it weren’t for the white hot anger buzzing in my ears i may have been able to identify the voice before i lashed out on them. but we already established this was not my day.

so as my hands moved to clutch the machine below me, most likely to restrain my abuse to merely verbal instead of physical. i spit out, “listen i’m fucking trying okay? so how about you get off my ass and do something useful.”

i turned around to face who i thought would be another sidekick sent to push my buttons. but i instead came face-to-face with the green haired man himself.

eyes blown wide, mouth agape in shock, a light blush dusted under his freckles as he fought to handle the situation the best way he could.

but i beat him to it with a deep bow and an endless flow of apologies, opting to only blame my anger on the malfunctioning piece of junk behind me and not the several other reasons i was plotting murder in my head.

with a gentle smile and a soft chuckle he placed his hand to the back of his head, rubbing at the baby jade hairs of his undercut. “i see. bad days happen to the best of us.” he replied, his voice like honey.

i became drunk on the minor interaction he was giving me, bringing me back to the beginning days at this job where we would spend late nights trying to keep each other awake under the only singular yellow light as we finished paperwork. or where sometimes he’d invite me to spend lunch with him as he felt he’d enjoy the company.

i got lost in the intricacies of his face as he tampered with the printer. thin eyebrows furrowed in concentration, bottom lip captured between his thick scarred fingers as he muttered to himself.

i fell in a trance, locked on the slope of his button nose, his gemstone eyes, and chubby caramel cheeks dusted in freckles.

he looked essentially like the same boy i saw on the screen all those years ago, yet matured and hardened by the realities of life.

i wanted nothing more than to reach out and protect him any way my small quirkless body could. to be there for him the same way he was for everyone else.

he eventually got the printer to work with a boyish smile on his face as he told me that despite the good roughing up i gave the machine, he was able to locate and handle the issue. “next time, skip the punching and come find me, yeah? i’ll help with any problems you face.” he joked as he made his way into his office to resume his work.

i didn’t know it was possible to fall harder for that man, but he proved with every day of his existence that the impossible didn’t apply to him.

i was finally able to get some sleep the next few nights as my eyelids filled with the blush on his cheekbones and his gaze of concentration.

but my trip to cloud 9 didn’t last very long as the occasional meeting with uraraka became trips to her agency, and occasional meetings in civilian clothes to civilian places, like coffee shops and corner stores.

to anyone else, those would read as dates. to me, they read as dates. but izuku assured the gossiping sidekicks that it was strictly professional ~ nothing more, nothing less.

i knew that i would end up with more fits of restlessness and sleepless nights as i pictured the two of them laughing over a cup of coffee. so i sought out a replacement.

a moment. a look. a sentence.

anything directed at me that would choke out the ugly thoughts and images my brain would show me of the two of them together.

so that afternoon as i brought him his lunch, i placed the box safely onto the table beside him as he continued skimming through the papers littered across the desk.

he muttered a small ‘thank you’ but it wasn’t enough. as my hand moved to place his drink that i held in my other hand next to his food, a different idea popped in my head.

my hand moved faster than my brain could register what it had just planned to do. squeezing just enough for the lid to pop off and slip from my fingers to tumble into his lap.

as soon as the liquid and ice hit his lap he flew up from his seat and away from his desk.

my hands flew up to my mouth as a string of apologies fell from my lips. eyes watering in guilt as they moved around the room trying to locate something to soak up the mess with.

“i am so sorry, my fingers slipped and before i knew it i had lost control of the cup. i-i can’t tell you how sorry i am.” i rambled as i took my blazer off to wipe at the wet stains starting to form at the bottom of his teal suit.

“hey, hey, hey.” he said softly, taking my tinier hands into his large and battered ones. warmth enveloped my clutched sticky hands as he gently urged me to stand from my crouching position in front of him.

“it was an accident. no harm, no foul.” he said with a soft smile.

i should feel bad, as it wasn’t entirely an accident. but the warm and gentle look in his eyes made what little guilt i felt crumble away.

his thumbs rubbing soft circles to my skin as he worked to get the tears to stop streaming from my eyes was enough to get me to sleep like a baby for a good 2 weeks.

until it became a cycle. he would spend too much time around uraraka, and then i would do something all in the name of garnering his attention back on me.

was it wrong of me to do, to take advantage of his kindness? to take advantage of the fact that he was naive to my true intentions? maybe.

but i felt i deserved it. i felt i deserved to be looked at the same way he looked at her.

i wasn’t any different than she was. with the way she used her big brown eyes to pull him in. or the way her cute behavior made him blush. or the way her sweet way of talking made him laugh.

i can’t be her, or compare to her. so i found my own way around it. and no one could fault me for doing so. they just couldn’t.

at the end of the mission, uravity decided to throw a party in celebration of their win. a nice formal gathering, with everyone she had involved.

when izuku pulled me aside one late night to tell me that he was extending the invitation to me felt akin to a marriage proposal.

i wasn’t involved much in the case, merely being used as the one who provided them their lunch on their long meeting days. or filing and organizing the paperwork and notes that they would compile. i wasn’t out in the field, breaking bones like izuku or saving lives like uraraka.

i didn’t deserve to go, but i didn’t care. izuku had invited me personally and damn it, i was gonna be there.

yet, i shouldn’t have gone.

i shouldn’t have spent the hours on my makeup. i shouldn’t have enlisted the help of my best friend to do my hair as i gushed about how izuku had personally invited me, how he was the most perfect man ever, and how i was undoubtedly in love with him.

i shouldn’t have spent the week leading up to the event going from shop to shop trying to find the prettiest dress that was just the exact color of his eyes. i shouldn’t have spent about half my paycheck on said dress when i found it.

i shouldn’t have decided to face my fears and step out of my comfort zone to join a group of heroes that i knew were old classmates of izuku’s as they whispered about something that clearly was a raving topic.

because then i wouldn’t have heard how izuku was planning on confessing to uraraka. i wouldn’t have heard how this mission caused old high school feelings to rekindle. i should have known my place.

and that was far away from here, from the hero scene. i should have grown up to be an accountant or a chef.

when my father took me to get that checkup when i was 5, to confirm that there truly resides no quirk inside me.

i should have left it at that.

when i was riding my bike that day as a first year and i saw the group of boys huddled around a screen as they tuned into the u-a sports festival, i should have kept riding.

as maybe it would have saved me a lot of pain.

i backed away slowly, heels tapping against the tile floor as i hurried out of the building.

i didn’t realize how suffocated i felt until the chilly autumn hair brushed my face and into my lungs.

my whole body felt hot, i felt numb. i stumbled onto the sidewalk as i looked into the dark azure sky glittered with stars.

the tears finally spilled from my eyes as the stars muddled together into a messy blur. my stomach swirled and tensed as pit of nausea sunk in my stomach.

my chest heaved as it tried to process the crisp cold air into oxygen, but my throat was too tight to let much in.

i gasped and sobbed as my back hit the brick behind me, my legs wobbling unable to carry my weight much longer.

i slid into a crouched position as my tears mixed with the black of my mascara. streaming in pools down my cheeks, neck, and chest.

in the midst of my sobbing and heaving, i called my friend who was still at my apartment awaiting details of that night when i came home.

knowing it was far too early for me to be calling her she picked up the phone with confusion. it didn’t take much words from me, not like i gave her much, to convince her that she needed to come pick me up.

as she hung up the phone, my hand slipped from my ear, falling limp to my side as i placed my head into my other arm resting atop my knees.

this was inevitable and i knew it. no matter how many ways i was able to manipulate a sweet glance from him, it didn’t mean anything.

izuku was nice to everybody. sweet to everyone. kind to anyone.

but with her, it was different. he treated her that way, not because he had to, but because he wanted to.

they had years of memories, of laughs. they were perfect for each other, both smart, and kind, and always looking to help others. never acting selfishly or for personal gain.

they shared soft touches like they did old stories. they looked at each other with the same respect and admiration.

i was wrong. uraraka and i are nothing alike. she didn’t have to beg izuku to look at her like she hung the moon, he did so without asking.

unbeknownst to me, as i was manipulating izuku into these fabricated moments of gentle gazes and kind words, i was manipulating myself.

lying to the deepest parts of me that knew that this wasn’t real. that i wasn’t her. that he didn’t think of us the same way.

to him, uraraka is an old friend, who views the world the same way he does, who shares his same passions, who built her quirk to do some good within this world.

to him, i was a coffee-getter, the girl who knew his lunch orders like the back of her hand, the girl who filed his papers. the quirkless little fangirl who practically begged him to give her a job under him.

i heard the metal door open and snap shut announcing that someone was now outside with me. however, i just assumed it was a party-goer stepping outside for a smoke or a phone call so i didn’t bother to look up.

i also wasn’t in the mood for if the person happened to be a drunk girl who was ready to become my therapist as she saw me crouched on the sidewalk wishing to become one with the cement and simply cease to exist.

“there you are, i was wondering where you went?”

i would have taken the amateur therapist over this.

the voice belonged to izuku, dripping with sugar and default kindness.

if i could become one with the bricks just a little bit faster that would be great.

“hey, are you alright?” his tone became worried but i still didn’t dare to look up from my arms.

“do you feel sick? did something happen? do i need to take you home?” there he goes, into hero mode. ready to drop anything to help anyone facing the slightest of inconveniences.

“please just leave me alone.” i mumbled, throat tight and voice wavering as i try to hold the tears that still remain to fall.

“what did you say? i didn’t quite hear you.” he said softly, gently setting his large hands onto my exposed shoulder.

they should feel like welcoming warmth, but instead they felt blistering hot as i shoved them away as quickly as i could.

“i said leave me alone.” i said, slightly louder as i no longer was stuffed in my arms and knees.

he immediately saw the mess my face was in, i could tell by the way he quickly reverted fully into deku.

“hey, what’s wrong? whatever it is, i can help. didn’t i say you could come to me whenever you ne-“

“oh my god just stop! i can’t take it anymore.” i snapped, finally able to look him in the face.

but not for long as i saw the same look on his complexion as the first time i snapped at him.

“you’re too fucking nice. leaving you vulnerable for people to take advantage of you. giving them a reason to be selfish.”

“i dont-“ he tried to start but i cut him off.

“i don’t need a hero, izuku. there are people you just can’t save.”

as he worked to wrap his head around what was happening, my friend pulled up in my getaway car.

i bent down and grabbed my purse, but before i could fully escape this night, izuku grabbed my wrist causing me to stare into his eyes.

now lit aflame with desperation, “please just tell me what’s wrong. let me help you.” he encouraged softly.

but i wasn’t going to fall for it, not again.

i wasn’t gonna be played for the fool as i took the soft look in his eyes for anything but the gaze of a hero hoping to add another save to their statistics.

“god you never know when to quit!” i yelled as i yanked my wrist back. “and i hate that i-“

loved that about you?

no, love that about you.

i shook my head, thankful that for once my brain caught my actions before i spilled and made a mess again.

i walked quickly to the car, opening the passenger door almost as fast in hopes that within its metal sanctuary i could finally escape this hell.

“y/n- i-“

“mr. midoriya.” i just about whispered, my energy long since drained.

he laughed gently and i cursed the way my heart squeezed a little at the sound.

still head over heels for the angelic sound.

“you haven’t called me that in a long-“

“i quit.”

“w-what?” he muttered in disbelief.

i wouldn’t believe it either, not after the way i came to him nearly 4 years ago saying i would even be willing to clean toilets if he asked me to, so long as i got to work for him.

“i quit.” i repeated.

“you don’t mean that.”

he’s right i didn’t, not really.

hot tears started to dribble as my lower lip puckered in a sour quiver.

“no i do, sir.” i shook. “i will send someone to collect my things on monday.”

and with that i closed the door.

“drive.” i whispered to my friend who after a moment of looking at me, trying to read me, silently put the car into drive and started forward.

leaving izuku behind to stumble after the car, mouth muttering, trying to form any sort of sentence or sense.

but i couldn’t see him, knowing not to look at the mirrors situated on the side of the vehicle.

for they too are liars, as objects in the mirror are farther than they appear.

*** my little blue bitch working overtime

🧼 also mayhaps “soap” by melanie martinez fits this story… unintentionally ~ but if i’m wrong it’s cuz i haven’t listened to it in a while

#izuku #izuku midoriya #deku #deku x reader #izuku x reader #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #izuku angst #deku angst #deku headcanons #deku imagine

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