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#idk why i'm typing in questions anymore
chasing-chimeras · 2 years
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suiana · 2 months
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beo idk where i saw or read this but can you imagine a yandere! husband who would actually go insane if you left/escaped him?
like, actually insane. I'm not talking "ohhh my spouse left me :((( im gonna find them grrr" type of insane.
im talking like mental breakdowns, crying, screaming, actually getting ill, throwing fits and acting like a sick and deranged man because you're not with him anymore.
he's a rich guy, comes from an old money family. so obviously his parents and family all see the state that he's reduced to after his beloved darling left his grasp. and they absolutely hate the way that their son is so miserable right now. that's their son! and how could they let their son suffer? just how can they help?
so they find you on his behalf and bring you back to him.
like, they're sorry you're back here against your will but their son's condition is more important! don't you see? he loves you and you're just... just neglecting him! a good spouse wouldn't do that. you have to be with him. no questions asked.
upon spotting you, their son (who was literally clawing at his arms, nails all bloody) immediately switches moods and perks up. he's no longer the insane man he was just 5 seconds ago. now he's your loving and sweet husband.
his family all sees that, especially his parents, and they make a vow to make sure you never leave him again. i mean, they like you too! you're perfect for their son! why would you ever want to leave? you don't need to leave.
just stay here with them. stay with your husband. after all, he clearly needs you. and what type of spouse would you be if you left him again?
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least-carpet · 2 months
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rotating jin guangyao and his problems
chewing up jin guangyao in my head... this is another one that's been in the drafts forever. throwing it out there because I'm out of gas.
the broad outlines of these thoughts are:
jin guangyao pursues AND values relationships with people he considers to be Good, particularly lan xichen and qin su
which. like. normal.
what's weird is that they're so good that he can't ever disclose the bad things he's done, because they are Good and they would be Disgusted and they might not Love Him anymore.
you'd think they would be safe because they are Good, but that's not how this works.
so he's fundamentally constructed these prisons where he can't get closer but also can't get away
ughhhh I can't articulate it but something something about how he's created these relationships which he fundamentally can't disclose certain important things, areas of violence or vulnerability, without losing them
sooooo they're kinda hollow!! they're hollow relationships!!
I think for lan xichen a lot of distance can be chalked up to the physical distance demanded by their respective responsibilities
like "we would be closer if we could"
so it's a distance that also allows for a continual mutual idealization and doesn't feel bad because there's an outside source
but for qin su? especially during and after rusong's assassination?
like—even setting aside the question of whether or not he killed the kid—they're having different emotional responses to his death because rusong, while he was alive, must have been a source of terrible ongoing anxiety for jin guangyao, who is deeply paranoid about any of his secrets coming to light.
so an ending to that kind of anxiety is a relief, even if he didn't kill his own child.
but relief mixed with grief presumably wouldn't match qin su's emotional experience of rusong's death.
so they're not emotionally in sync, and she doesn't understand why. her husband has also withdrawn from her in a number of ways (because of... the secret incest...)
idk it just seems emotionally horrifying
I also think this is partly why you get such a wide range of takes on jin guangyao, even from people who like him. because people who do this type of thing are sometimes doing it to manipulate people into staying with them, and if someone has done it to you, the tactics are very recognizable (such as during the confrontation between jin guangyao and qin su, where he's desperately trying to control the outcome of her finding out about the secret incest)
anyway what a guy! the inside of his head probably sounds like the soundtrack to a horror movie 100% of the time, huh
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dogtoling · 7 months
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RE: Question about whether the Deepsea and the Octarian Domes are directly connected to each other. sorry i'm stealing your reply @bucketsquid but i see a chance to talk about this i have to take it. So idk let's try to decode how they might actually be connected.
This is the obvious conclusion. For the record I think it's the RIGHT conclusion after Side Order because they seemed to REALLY imply it this time. I thought for a really long time that the Deepsea and Octarian domes HAVE TO be connected because not only are they both subterranean but also literally how else do you get that many freaking Octolings in there? Since the metro is connected to the Inkopolis subway anyway wouldn't it be WAY EASIER TO JUST GET SQUIDS? (though to be honest i still stand by this.)
Anyway the obvious assumption is that the Deepsea and Octarian domes connect to each other. though it's not so straightforward. How they connect to each other exactly? we don't really know. Anyway let's get back into this in just a second i need to show what absolutely dashed my hopes and made me really mad when it happened
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THIS MAP. THEY POSTED THIS MAP. Before this map I was having a great time because this is what the map was in my head:
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"why was that the map in your head" idk. the giant stretches of water surrounding both canyons and inkopolis stretching into said body of water gave me the mental image that the canyons were in the ocean by inkopolis' coast. alongside some of the very old concept art that shows some of the domes even being underneath inkopolis if i'm not mistaken!
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from the art of splatoon 1. this is an ancient and I MEAN ANCIENT manga depicting what is obviously an early concept of the story so it shouldn't ACTUALLY be taken as fact (almost nothing in this manga holds up anymore). But some of the things WERE kept! I have to assume this is also why you get into Octo Valley through the sewer in the games because the story mode was meant to take place literally straight underneath Inkopolis... it makes a lot less sense in the final result when you supposedly take the sewer like 50 kilometers (i dont know the actual distances but i think they're able to be deciphered) underground to a canyon in the middle of nowhere.
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Why is there even continuous sewage all that way. What is happening. Is it even a sewer or a really long underground secret tunnel that Captain Cuttlefish dug because he's been really bored for 100 years.
kind of besides the point. back to the issue of the deepsea and the octarian empire being connected. You know, with the Deepsea Metro being located in Inkopolis Bay and the domes supposedly being all over the Inkopolis underground and the surrounding locations, it didn't seem that far fetched that they could siphon Octolings from the underground (where they live) to another very close-by fork of the underground (the Deepsea). However,
1. the Deepsea is NOT Octarian territory, but its own type of society. which is really weird considering how much Octarian iconography is down there, let alone how many OCTARIANS are down there
2. We have SO LITTLE knowledge about the true scope of the Deepsea that you can't even say for sure whether the Deepsea is *JUST* the Deepsea Metro and the facilities and industrial cities in that exact specific area, or if it's a big underwater and underground empire similar in scope to the Octarian domes, maybe even built in the exact same dome network - or a neighboring one. (This would mean they have a border somewhere undefined, underground.)
3. At face value with only the map, this is the distance for a Single Octarian to travel in order to get from where they live/are stationed, to get to the Deepsea Metro which is cluttered with one billion octarians
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HELLO? THAT IS SO FAR. it's even worse than the distance Agents 3 and 4 are swimming through the god damn sewer. This also makes very little sense if we assume all the subterranean domes in all of these locations are exclusively under their surface counterparts... which... well, we don't know.
We know that the Deepsea Metro is connected to the Inkopolis Underground (it even shows this on the map with the little dotted line). I don't really know the significance of that but I've taken it to mean that the Deepsea Metro that is highlighted in the map shows specifically the area covered by the Kamabo Corporation and the tests there, and honestly again, I don't even know if the Deepsea is any bigger than that. Since it's been stated to be an independent society from Inkopolis or the Octarians, you would ASSUME there'd be ample space for people to like, live, and maybe work, and produce stuff you need to like, live. Instead of the test facility being literally the only place that exists plus a city built around only that to sustain everything.
Furthermore, we don't know if Octarians have cities on the surface in their part of the surface world! This is something that really bothers me because I think knowing whether or not this is the case would change SO MUCH (i'm currently under the assumption it is a barren wasteland with Literally Nothing). However given the location of the Salmonid Swim Zone, we can SEE cities in the background of multiple stages, and judging by this map those would be mainly on the Octarian coasts. This could mean that Octarians have surface cities where they coexist with the Salmon, it could mean that they USED TO have surface cities and abandoned them, OR it could mean that Salmonids actually live on Octarian surface turf while the Octarians themselves live underground! Idk! There's a lot of options!
I kind of doubt Octarians have cities on the surface because if they did, then it would feel redundant for the game to keep coming back to "the Octoling world" being this horrible military regime underground that people try to get to the surface from. If it was that easy to get to the surface it feels odd that it would be a big deal. We know that the Octarian domes, at least in Octo Valley, are specifically an underground *secret* military base.
(*Secret* being explicitly stated before and it would imply that they wouldn't necessarily NEED to live underground, but it's just way easier to do Secret Things underground. Plus the surface is a wasteland so honestly not a lot to lose there.)
We still haven't really seen what they have aside from that. We don't know where they get their food, for example. There's got to be farmers in a society. There HAS TO be some kind of surface access or activity, and if you squint, Octo Canyon IS a surface city that they seem to have free access to. So why not have others? It seems only logical to have more. In this case the oppression of the Octoling world and being forced to stay underground feels really case-specific, but it seems to also be an overarching thing that's quite widespread, so... I don't know, I WANT MORE OCTARIAN WORLDBUILDING *PLEASE* i'm working with crumbs here.
Anyway. my current assumption of the subterranean areas of the Deepsea and the Octarian empire goes something like this, all things considered that I've talked about...
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(Not exactly that but you get the general picture)
When you put it this way, it suddenly makes a lot more sense that Octarians would be getting into the Deepsea. Generally I tried to keep the locations of Octarian tunnel systems to their turf, and the locations of Deepsea tunnels under the ocean floor, though with Octarian domes explicitly stated to have been dug by humans there's. really no reason they couldn't stretch into Inkling territory. We have no idea how big these tunnel systems are in scope, NO idea.
And that's also the problem with trying to solve this part of worldbuilding, because my concept could easily be right but it could also be COMPLETELY wrong! It's totally possible that the dome networks are actually secluded and tiny and are *just* under the Octarian craters and nowhere else, and it's totally possible that the entirety of the Deepsea is JUST Kamabo Co and the few settlements surrounding it. I'm not that confident that I'm right but I'm not really confident that we'll get answers to these questions either, at least as long as the story modes keep intentionally avoiding expanding on existing game locations and pretending theyre not in the splatoon world at all by making their key locations abstract and closed off bubbles on purpoCOUGH HACK who said that
There is 1 thing I've completely failed to mention in this post and it's that Octo Valley and the Deepsea Metro are like, explicitly connected. Which by the way makes NO SENSE given they're on opposite corners of the map. But between what we know from Side Order and from this Official Snippet from Splatoon Base, the Official Splatoon Story Resource By Nintendo,
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Ignoring that none of this makes sense anymore or is intentionally misleading compared to what we know from Agent 8's memory loss now. Anyway. This seems to just imply the Deepsea is *under* Octo Valley. WHICH WOULD LINE UP WITH SIDE ORDER, weirdly enough. It is possible that the Deepsea domes could actually OVERLAP with Octarian Domes, it's just built FAR under sea level, not bound to the actual location of the sea itself.
I want to point out that this segment in the splatoon base and the game itself and dev interviews all tend to contradict each other in some ways when you look at them side by side, which is frustrating, but also serves as a reminder that sometimes the official resources don't know exactly what they're talking about either. so it's often not worthwhile looking them up and trying to conclude something based on it just to find out that it's literally contradicted in the game itself.
anyway, we know One Thing now and it's that there's at least no way that Octarian domes and the Deepsea AREN'T connected to each other in some way. this post doesn't exactly solve the issue of How but there was an attempt. I don't think this is ultimately something you can come to a concrete foolproof conclusion on until there is more information. But in the meantime I guess there's speculation.
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portgasdwrld · 1 year
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📞Wait a minute while I make you mine part.4(final)
Featuring: Ace x F!reader
Warning: NSFW content, MINORS DNI !!!
Note: I’m back I’m sorry 👩🏻‍💻idk if I hate writing smut because it takes me so much time, or because I wish IRL men were like this.
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.
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4.Giving up
Ace looked at you as he expected some sort of words to exit his mouth. Every of his heartbeat felt closer to death to him as his mind rushed with thoughts he has been having of you. He was put on the spot and Ace couldn't find a way to portray his emotions to you in words or actions, tell you exactly why his heart always felt warmer near you. Faced to your question, his basic ability to speech were gone.
-What do you mean?
It was the best thing he could let out. His heart was beating fast as he watched your features change to a defeated smile that covered your lips. His hand reached the back of his head where he let it slide back to his jawline, to finally let it fall back to his side.
-I don't know Ace? Do I really need to be more direct than this. I just don't know how to feel about you anymore..
You replied with a dry chuckle, your eyes flickered to his figure. His heart winced at your words. Were you mad because of the stunt Enya pulled? It wasn't your type to get jealous over someone or even show you care. You never did with him or with anyone so what could've possible happened to make you switch your behavior.
-I'm not sure I truly grasp the situation, y/n.
-Ugh, you can be so dense.
You exhaled as you stand up and face him. You sighed in frustration as you walked towards him with your heels in one hand. You pulled your short dress down and pushed your hair out of your face. Eyelashes a little wet from the slight crying, you looked up to him and quickly bit your lips.
-Listen, dumb fire boy. I like you and a part of me hate to admit it, but here it is, you do what you want with this information.
You admit through your lashes. Ace watched you closely with lips parted, surprised by your sudden confession. Your gaze shifted from his eyes to the red lipstick's mark left on his neck. You trailed it with the edge of your fingers, before brushing it with your thumb, smudging it away from his skin.
-..And honestly I hate seeing other persons leave marks on your body if it's not me
Ace surprised expression quickly changed into the familiar cocky grin you were so familiar to. He closed the distance between you two and tilted his face down. His breath brushed your nose as you felt his fingers softly grip your waist.
-So, you like me, huh?
You roll your eyes as a smile curved your lips. Your eyes flickered to his lips for a quick second and back to his brown eyes as you took the opportunity to wrap your arms around his neck.
-Yeah... I like you … very much.
You let in a shaky whisper as your own nervousness was now difficult to hide. He slightly giggled and his eyes stared at you for a moment, enjoying the proximity of your body after imagining it for so long. You were so pretty to his eyes.
-I like you too
-Then, just kiss me already
And without missing any time, Ace pressed his lips against yours. The earning you two had for each other for such a long time was clearly being shown through the kiss, it was bit rough but still sensual. Ace's hands travelled down to your hips and butt as he brought you closer to him. Your fingers interlocking with his darks locks as you barely pulled them, it left him grunting in your mouth. You wanted more, he wanted more.
-fuck.. I can't get enough of you
He panted between the wet kisses interchanged between y'all lips. You let one hand slide to his nude chest as the other cupped the side-end of his jawline. You didn't even want to hide that your need for him was almost unbearable at the moment.
-Ace.. I need you.
As if he was only waiting for you to say those words, he quickly pulled you towards one of the long chairs where he sat and brought you down to his laps. You hovered over him and his hands directly went on your ass where he grabbed it earning a gasp from your lips. But, he didn't even let you react properly as he dived back into kissing you more hungrily than ever by grabbing the back of your head with one of his hands.
-Ace you're not going to fuck me here, aren't you?
You ask pushing him away with your two hands pressed on his chest. He laid back and looked at you with a challenging smirk.
-Whos going to see anyway, its so dark out here
-Ace...
He slapped your ass making you gasp once again. You stared at him defeated by his totally nonchalant and shameless behavior.
-Since, when did I ever care about that. I'm a pirate baby.
He concluded the "conversation" by pulling your wrist towards him so your body fell on his, once again. He cupped your cheeks with one hand as the other pushed away the few strands of hair on your face.
-Is it fine with you sweetheart?
You took a big breath. At this point you didn't even care because you felt so wet and you desperately needed release no matter what. You looked down at his eyes and smirked as you pecked his lips.
-Yeah, it's more fun this way
He smirked right back and adjusted his position, but thrusted into you in the process. His growing hard bulge brushing against your wet core, made you moan , a moan that you quickly tried to conceal with your hand.
-Don't do that
He whispered into your ears, nibbling on your neck. sucking your skin while you started to grind against him.
-I don't want people to hea-
You quickly got cut off with a moan escaping your lips as he intentionally pushed his hips up again. You quickly glared at him as you watched a cocky smirk grow on his face. You rolled your eyes and lightly pulled some of his hair intertwined between your fingers. He chuckled and gave your collarbone a last kiss before he looked up at you with the same shitty confident grin.
-Be vocal, I like it
He said smiling while playing with your ass and jiggling it in his hands. You looked at him almost speechless at his incredibly laidback attitude. You would never believe that he has touched himself multiple of times imagining you on top of him, fucking you or you sucking him off, that he was eager to feel you around him.
-Alright, as much I want us to take our time, let's hurry. Need some prep, angel?
-What happened to your "I don't care who see us" bs?
You asked with a cocked eyebrow as you felt him slide his digits under your panties. He pushed your panties to the side as he let his fingers get coated by your wetness. You gripped his shoulders as you pushed your body forward, inviting him to push them inside.
-I take this as a no?
-Acee, stop being a tease.
You whined as you let your head rest on the crook on his neck. You felt his torso vibrating against your arms as he giggled at your whines. He pushed two of his fingers inside of you, thrusting them in and out of you in the perfect needed pace.
-Fuck..
You sighed as you felt your pleasure slowly building up. He quickened the pace, making his fingers roughly hit your sweet spot as your juices ran down his hand.
-So good to me, you want my cock sweetheart
-Yes, please
-What do you want baby? Use your words
-I want your cock Ace, please
He pulled out his fingers bringing them over to his mouth where he quickly sucked away the juice and opened his belt.
-Wait, let me do that
He put his hands back on your hips as he watched you do your thing. You sat a little over his knees and unzipped his shorts. You took his already hard dick in your hands, smearing the pre-cum on the tip. You leaned over him, kissing his lips as you stroke his length. His hands cupped your face as he deepened the kiss by pushing his tongue in your mouth. Drool all over y'all faces and his dick twitching in your hand, you got closer to him angling his tip closer to your hole. You slowly sank down, earning both of you to moan in each others mouth. Ace finally let go to catch his breath, his head resting on the back of the chair.
-You feel so good, fuck
He let you some time to get used to his dick inside of you before he started to move slowly his hips. You sighed as the fullness he provided you, was enough to make you easily build up the pleasure you had earlier with his fingers. You closed your eyes as you once again rest your head on his chest.
-You're okay baby?
He asked making sure as he softly caressed your head. You nodded and with that he adjusted his position to have a better angle to thrust in you. He was slow at first, but he gradually caught up the pace. You started to move your hips along with his to add more friction. The sound of your bodies loving each other quickly filled the empty quiet space. You unintentionally bit his chest to muffle a loud moan when his dick hit a perfect spot.
-Hey...what did I say earlier..
You couldn't even talk back as you were simply too focused with the feeling of his dick hitting you so good inside, the way his thumb rubbed against your clit and how his other hand was gripping your ass.
-Can't ..even talk h-huh?
He teases in a shaky voice before letting a groan out. He loved feeling your breast rubbing against his chest and your ass clapping against his shorts as it moved up and down. With the rush of adrenaline of possibly being caught and fucking outside, he felt like he was almost over the edge already.
-Ace...I'm so close, faster please
He moved faster, controlling now your hips pace too. Your nails dug into his shoulders as a last stroke accompanied with his thumb pressed slightly against your clit, made you release all over his dick. You screamed his name, your body shaking in his hold as he thrusted harder and faster to reach his own high, cumming inside of you. You two were panting hard as Ace fingers were brushing up and down your back.
-My legs feel numb...
You pant as you looked up to him. He opened his eyes to stare at your eyes, before you two chuckled.
-It's fine, ima take care of you after we get back to the ship. i just need to catch my breath.
A comfortable silence set as you let your head fall on his chest, hearing his quick heartbeat.
-You came inside huh
-Yeah, sorry about that-
-It's fine, im on the pill dirty ass.
-Dirty ass??
-Yeah??It will be dripping down my legs when we walk back to the ship, gross.
-Oh..., didn't think about that. Ima carry you, don't worry.
-Thanks
Ace smiled to himself enjoying your presence and the moment. His hand was still caressing your back.
-Soooo ...we are going out now?
-That's a stupid question
-Okay mister-super-dense
He laughed as he remembered the early scene where he was totally confused to your indirect confession. He kissed your forehead, loving how your eyes glittered when they stared into his.
-Yeah, yeah whatever.... but yes, I can finally call you mine
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kingscourthouse · 7 months
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hold up i NEED to know more about your Xisuma Views thing.... I just saw the art with Joel and i'm obsessed
Well it's just how it sounds, it's Xisuma's view of the world. Unlike other players, he can't see the layers they have to hide.
Lemme put it like this. You're making a minecraft skin and have your second layer, yeah? That's their base layer. And then there's a second layer that's more heavily concealing.
Xisuma isn't from minecraft and his code is glitched, so not only do layers not work for him, but he can't see the layers either. Some people use only base layers to hide "actual forms" if they have one, and others use a second layer to hide scars or parts of their body that don't need a heavy cover.
So Xisuma sees people in a bit of a weird way. He thinks how he sees people is how everyone sees eachother. He sees their true character.
Skizz is a really nice guy. He's always looking out for people, tries to be there for someone, some people say he acts like an angel.
And so Xisuma never questions it. He sees Skizz as an angel, other people supposedly see him as an angel. Skizz is just an angel, why would anyone see anything else? It's just Skizz.
Though the Skizz people actually see is his layers with the torn suit and brown hair. The layers also affect his interactions with people too. If he's around Skizz, he tends to squint alot or avoid looking in his direction if he's not in his armour. Skizz is blinding to Xisuma, so he has trouble looking at him. Though Skizz does have features, but he's too bright to see any of them.
Xisuma also has a type of layer as well, but it's not on him. He's too broken in the games code (that's a whole 'nother can of worms) for him to use layers. So what does he do? He adds a layer to everyone else.
Xisuma doesn't leave hermitcraft too often, so everyone outside it will see what he really looks like. In the server though? Everyone has a layer that covers Xisuma from their eyes. He's lucky his admin panel isn't from minecraft or else he'd be screwed.
What's fun with Xisuma seeing people's real forms is that (in my au at least) he's kind of a grey character. If there's ever a fight or spat between hermits, he can have trouble taking sides. Not all Hermits are angelic or aliens like Skizz and Joel. There's hermits who are monsters and beings who do or did bad things in the past. Not all Hermits talk about those things.
He can get better insights to people's decisions or just things about them. Joel has a habit to make things around bright areas or access to a lot of light. Maybe because he's made of it. Skizz only ever keeps one pair of elytra. Maybe because he's missing his second pair of wings that can't glow anymore.
He can see people for who they were. Keralis is an eyesore (literally) and can hurt to look at. Grian has too many evenly split scars across his body and Xisuma knows what's behind them. Doc isn't a creeper.
There's a lot to Xisuma's View thing and I do wanna eventually start drawing how everyone looks to him, but I'm indecisive and don't know where to start. So idk maybe I'll open ask box for hermit requests. Can be interactions between Xisuma and specific hermits (both ones seen and not) or it can just be their design.
Idk but feel free to ask about them, I have designs for every hermit, empires member and even everyone in the life series. So he's got plenty of people to show you.
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drewharrisonwriter · 19 days
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A Better Man
Status: One Shot, Complete
Summary: Dieter goes back to a place he knows so well just to get a glimpse of a life he could have had.
Word Count: 2k words
Notes: IDK, I'm way into Dieter again these days, and thought of writing this fic that's full of yearning lol
P.S. My laptop, which served me well for 5 years, just gave out. With grad school, the recent loss of my stepdad, and ongoing medical bills, finances are tight. I’m currently managing writing commissions and my dissertation from my phone, which is okay but really challenging. If you can help with a donation or by commissioning some of my writing, it would mean the world to me. Just send me a message 💜 Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any support you can offer. 💜🙏🏻
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I pull up to the house slowly, like I’m sneaking up on it. The engine hums under my grip, vibrating through the steering wheel, and I kill it with a sharp twist of the key. The quiet settles in around me, and I just sit there, staring at the place I used to know so well.
It’s funny. I don’t even know why I’m here. I’m not the sentimental type—at least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself for years—but somehow, I always end up right back here. Your house. The one you made a home, way back when everything felt so damn simple.
It’s been a while. The shutters are a different color now, a soft blue. You used to complain about how you never had time to take care of the garden, but it looks… alive now. Somebody’s been looking after it, after you. It’s like the house moved on, but me? I’m still stuck.
I lean back in the seat, staring through the windshield. I remember this place, and I remember you—us. Those days when I’d crash on your couch, no questions asked. The nights we’d laugh too loud, talk too much, and I’d forget, just for a second, about the chaos waiting outside your door. This used to be the one place that felt like it could be something real.
I close my eyes, and suddenly I’m back there, in those moments that play like an old movie I can’t turn off.
“You know, I could get used to this,” I said, my shoulder brushing against yours as we sat on the steps of your porch. The air was thick with the scent of your jasmine plant—always too sweet, but you loved it, so I never complained. I looked over at you, trying to hide my nerves behind a grin. “Just you, me, and this crappy little neighborhood.”
You laughed, and God, that laugh—it’s like a shot of adrenaline, better than any drug I’ve ever touched. “You say that now, but you’ll get bored. You always do.”
I wanted to argue, but I just shrugged, picking at the loose thread on my jeans. “Not with you,” I said softly. “You’re the only thing I never get tired of.”
You gave me this look—like you knew something I didn’t. “We’re not like that, Dieter. We’re... something else.”
I tried to smile, but it felt wrong. “Yeah, sure. Something else.” But I wasn’t so sure anymore. Not when everything was changing so fast. I could feel it slipping away, and I didn’t know how to hold on.
I showed up at your door, way past midnight. I was drunk, pissed off, and lost, but you still opened up, just like you always did. No questions, no judgment—just you in your pajamas, hair a mess, eyes sleepy but warm.
“Dieter, it’s late,” you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. “What’s going on?”
“I just... I needed to be here,” I said, brushing past you into the living room like I belonged there. And for a while, I think I did. I slumped onto the couch, burying my face in my hands. “Everything’s fucked. I fucked up.”
You sat down next to me, close but not too close. You always knew how to give me just enough space to breathe. “You’ll figure it out. You always do.”
I looked at you, and for a second, I forgot about the headlines, the shitty reviews, the people tearing me apart for the mess I’d made of my own career. “You ever think... maybe we should’ve done this differently?”
You raised an eyebrow, half amused, half sad. “Done what differently?”
I shrugged, feeling stupid for even bringing it up. “Us. This. Everything.”
You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “We are what we are, Dieter…”
I wanted to say something, anything, but the words got stuck somewhere between my head and my heart. So, I did what I always do—I let the moment pass, hoping it wouldn’t be the last.
“I’m done, Dieter. I can’t do this anymore.”
The words hung in the air, and I could feel my chest tighten. You stood there, calm but determined, like you’d been preparing for this moment for a long time. I tried to read your face, but it was like staring at a wall—no cracks, no second thoughts.
“What do you mean, you’re done?” I shot back, my voice sharper than I intended. “We’ve been together for years! We fight, we figure it out. That’s what we do.”
You exhaled, shaking your head slowly. “We’re not together, Dieter. Not really. Not in the way that matters.” You paused, searching for the right words, and I hated how composed you were while I felt like everything was falling apart. “I want a real relationship, Dieter. I want to feel like I’m more than just the person you run to when your life is spiraling. I want something that’s going somewhere.”
I stared at you, thrown by how final you sounded. “We are going somewhere. It’s just… complicated. But we can figure it out.”
“Complicated?” You scoffed, eyes narrowing. “Dieter, I’ve been with you through your worst. Through the scandals, the press, and the stretch of weeks you didn’t even call me because you were too drunk or too high to even remember who you were with. And I stood by you, I waited for you… waiting for things to get better, but they never did. And you know why? Because you never wanted them to.”
“That’s not true,” I argued, frustration bubbling over. “I love you, you know I do.”
“But what is that worth?” you said, your voice finally breaking, the tears threatening to spill but held back by sheer force of will. “Love isn’t enough when I’m stuck living half a life with someone who can’t even be bothered to call me just because... You can’t even take me out to a decent meal. The best I get is my couch, or sitting in a Five Guys parking lot, eating drive-thru in your car with the windows tinted so dark that no one sees us. That’s not a relationship, Dieter. It’s barely even anything.”
I tried to speak, but every excuse felt thin and worn out. You were tired of the same old lines, the same old promises that things would change. And deep down, I knew I couldn’t give you what you wanted, not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know how.
“It’s not that easy,” I said, frustration lacing my voice. “I can’t just—”
“That’s the point!” you interrupted, your voice rising as you lost that calm veneer. “I don’t want it to be this way. And I can’t ask you to change your life for me, I won't even want to do that… to put me in your world when I know that no one would believe it if I even tried to scream it out loud that you love me. Who would believe some girl like me? Living this mundane life, far away from the adventures you’re off having when you’re not here, when you’re not hiding away with me.”
You softened for a moment, a flicker of the love we once had shining through the hurt. “I love you too, Dieter. But love isn’t enough. Not when I can’t even call you my boyfriend, not when I’m just the girl you go to hide away when it’s convenient.”
You looked at me, your eyes filled with a mix of sadness and resolve. “I need more than this. I need more than stolen moments and secret meetups. I need someone who isn’t afraid to be with me, who wants to be with me. And you’re not that person, Dieter. You never have been.”
The finality of your words hung in the air between us, heavy and suffocating. I wanted to fight, to tell you that I could change, that we could make it work, but deep down, I knew you were right. I’d always been too afraid to give you what you deserved, and now I was paying the price.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, the words feeling hollow and inadequate. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
You nodded, tears spilling over despite your best efforts to hold them back. “So am I,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep pretending that this is enough when it’s not.”
You turned to open the door, and I watched you go, my heart breaking as the door closed behind you. You didn’t even stop to hesitate or even look back… I wanted to run after you, to pull you back and promise that I’d be better, that I’d be the man you needed. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. And that was the moment I lost you—for good this time.
I don’t even know why I’m here, but I can’t seem to stay away. I park a little down the street, close enough to see but far enough to not be seen, and I watch through the large windows of your house. It’s early evening, the lights are on, and I can see you moving around the kitchen, your silhouette framed against the glow.
You’re different now. Softer. Happier. And as my eyes drift lower, I see the subtle curve of your stomach, round and unmistakable. You’re pregnant. Again.
It hits me like a punch, the memory of the first time I saw you like this. I remember the way your body changed, how your skin seemed to glow, how you moved with this new grace that had me staring at you like I’d never seen anything more beautiful. You were carrying someone else’s child, but all I could think about was how much I wanted you, how much I wanted to be the one to fill you up, to make you mine in every way possible.
You shift, one hand resting on your growing belly, and I feel it all over again—the longing, the jealousy, the regret. I’d lie awake at night, thinking about you, about what it would feel like to be the one who got to hold you when you were swollen with life, about the softness of your body pressed up against mine. And now, it’s like I’m being forced to watch the life I could have had unfold right in front of me.
You laugh at something, one hand absentmindedly smoothing down your shirt, and there’s this guy—your husband, I guess—walking in from another room. He leans in, kisses you on the cheek, and it’s so damn domestic that it makes me sick. I don’t even know him, but I hate him. I hate how he gets to have you in ways I never could.
I watch as he rests his hand on your stomach, his thumb rubbing gentle circles that make you smile. It’s intimate, tender, and I can’t tear my eyes away. You look so content, so fucking perfect, and all I can think is that I’m the idiot who let this slip through my fingers.
My grip on the steering wheel tightens, knuckles white as I fight the urge to storm up to that door and tell you everything I’ve been too scared to say. I want to tell you that you’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, that I miss you in ways I can’t even describe. I want to tell you that I wish it was me. That I wish I’d been enough.
But it’s too late. It’s always been too late.
I start the engine, but I don’t drive away right away. I just sit there, staring at the life that’s no longer mine, and I feel this hollow ache in my chest that I can’t ever seem to fill. I think about you, about the way you looked at me that night when you said you loved me but that it wasn’t enough. And maybe it never was.
As I pull away, I catch one last glimpse of you through the window, your hand resting on top of your oldest child's head while you spoke to your husband, and I feel like I’m leaving something behind all over again. Maybe one day, I’ll stop coming back here. Maybe one day, I’ll let go of this ghost that’s been haunting me.
But for now, all I can do is drive. Away from you. Away from the life I’ll never have. And I wonder, for the hundredth time, what might have been if I’d just been a better man.
82 notes · View notes
itsjustaninchident · 1 year
Text
You Are in Love
Lando Norris x Interior Designer!Reader
socmed au
summary: seems like mclaren's driver is not available in the market anymore but the real question is, to whom?
warning/s: none
author's note: This is a part 2 for this. Didn't expect that much love from the first part😭 I am overwhelmed and thankful for y'all. Also please request more socmed au ideas :)) <333
F1wagsupdates
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liked by pierregasly, sharlechair, and 2,032 others
F1wagsupdates there has been numerous rumors circulating that a certain driver from the orange team is dating someone. To further confirm a friend of the driver accidentally posted a photo of what seem like a romantic weekend getaway for the lovebirds. How true is it this time?
view 345 comments...
user1 I'VE BEEN TELLING Y'ALL THIS
user2 THIS IS DEFINITELY LANDO
user3 why can't you guys leave them alone. I'm sure they would've posted it on their socials if they wanted you all up in their business 🙄
user4 @/user5 pay up! im so right!
user5 NOT UNTIL HE HIMSELF OUTS HIS RELATIONSHIP
user6 I wonder who the girl is ?
user7 probably another model or influencer
user8 ABOUT TIME
user9 I'VE PRAYED FOR DAYS LIKE THIS
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, and 324 others
yourusername romantic weekend getaway they say🫢
view 23 comments...
yourbestfriend digging your own grave, i see
yourusername totally not😆
lilymhe you're so pretty bae!
yourusername I LOVE YOU
lilymhe tell L I'll literally steal you from him!
yourusername no need for that love im all yours!
alexalbon leave my girlfriend alone!
yourusername she still prefers me over you 😛
user1 ARIANA (lando) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
user2 what are the other drivers and lily doing here? 👀
via twitter...
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yourusername added to their story
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landonorris
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liked by charlesleclerc, maxfewtrell, and 638,978 others
landonorris romantic getaway with my love😉
view 485 comments...
user1 oh OH he's brave now!
yourusername romantic indeed 😂
landonorris are u in any type of way feeling romantic?
user2 NOT THEM HAVING AN INSIDE JOKE BEC OF THE POST
user3 THEY'RE SO CUTE WITH THEIR LITTLE INSIDE JOKE😭
user4 god ive seen what you've done to others
user5 idk if i still have any "me n who" i got in me
user6 they're so cute :'))
user7 i think i have an addition to my favorite wags
user8 SHE'S SO GORGEOUS LEAVE HIM QUEEN AND BE WITH ME INSTEAD
user9 although it's out now i hope people will still respect their privacy especially yn's !
lilymhe can't wait to meet you again!
landonorris stop trying to steal my girlfriend!
lilymhe never!
user10 NOT THEM FIGHTING OVER YN😭
maxfewtrell finally!
carlossainz55 tell yn we'll play golf together
landonorris you'll just replace me like that?
carlossainz55 can't help it if she's better than you
landonorris this is hurting me too much
danielricciardo hope to see u both again soon!
liked by yourusername and landonorris
user10 yn being loved by everyone 🥺
user11 the fact that they seem to love yn more than lando now is so funny to me😭
landonorris no one can ever love yn more than me though 😏
user12 HELP HE'S DOWN BAD
user13 IM SO JEALOUS RN😭
938 notes · View notes
heyidkyay · 5 months
Text
And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Twenty-Four
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?
Authors note: I’m here:) finally. It’s been a while, idk how long, not that long but long enough i guess, sorry for the wait! This one is wordy but also has a lot going on, so hope you enjoy!
Ngl, this can probably be read as a standalone if anyone’s seeing this and not started the series, it’s just a bit angsty and mostly smut? But unsure, I said probably! X
Warnings: Arguing, usual Matty and Mouse thinking (feels like it needs its own warning at this point, they’re saddos), smut, unprotected sex, EMOTIONS (because yeah)
> Last update: look back here if you'd like!
Masterlist
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There was something raw in the bitterness that was love. Like the sour skin of an apple that was first thought to be sweet. Love was deceiving in itself really, but it was never alone. It brought life and light. It wrought anger. It stirred both jealousy and pity. It gave and gave, until all you were left with was that tart tang aftertaste. 
Some people revelled in it.
Others, withered away.
Years before, perhaps maybe not even that long ago now, Matty would have belonged to the former. He had enjoyed the strings he found that could tie him to people, sex and money had given him the ability to do it, to keep them there, to pull them alongside him. And he’d indulged in it all, beyond what most would consider extortionate. 
And still, even after everything, when the fun had ended and the games had been discarded, and he’d just been tossed off somewhere to the side… Alone once more. He had continued on. On and on and on, until he ultimately had lost himself completely.
The last few months had shifted something in him though.
And now here he was, still angry and bitter and resentful. But full of actual love. The raw type. The kind that left you marvelling at the most stupid things— insipid little concepts that held no actual value or any real detail worth getting all starry-eyed over.
It had wormed its way into the hollow shell that was his heart and rebuilt some part of him that he believed he had long since destroyed.
He wanted to scoff at the very thought. The very idea that an emotion could be felt so strongly that it differed the world around you; that, singularly, it could change you. The notion was far too complex, too out there to even begin to fathom, but then again, Matty supposed that emotions were exactly that. Complex.
It sent his mind reeling. Had his entire body aching with a fever to expel the feeling completely, if only so that he could think freely again, so it wouldn’t hurt to merely breathe anymore.
You should have told me.
He knew that. He had admitted as much.
And yet, he still hadn’t told her.
He’d lied.
Why didn’t you tell me?
And that was the question, wasn’t it? Why hadn’t he just told her?
Fear, he guessed.
Yet another morbid emotion in which Matty had always been so wary of. Another lost feeling he thought he’d swallowed whole and hidden somewhere deep down. Because there was no fear in a drug induced haze. When you were off partying or chasing some other euphoric high. What the fuck was there to be fearful of? When the chilling buzz which shook you to your very core blanketed over everything else.
When there was always that silence.
That numb quiet he had chased and craved and cherished.
Though, he supposed, it was nothing compared to the fear of losing this.
Of losing her.
Still, Matty could not for the life of him find it in himself to tell her exactly that. Those words lost on him, lodged in the column of his throat and etching themselves a home there.
“Where do we go from here?”
He blinked at the sound of his own voice, looking up at her shadowed expression and at how tired she then seemed. How different she now looked compared to the moment they’d first met. 
She’d been something of a presence even then. Always effortlessly complex. With her soft smile and guarded eyes. Eyes he’d gone and fucking wondered about for hours on end.
Those eyes which were now caught on the far wall stood opposite, the one lined with coloured photo frames and that odd little doodle Teddy had gotten in trouble for only a couple of weeks prior. 
The realisation made Matty mourn the few days they’d spent apart.
After a long moment, she finally shrugged at him and he found himself swallowing tightly at the movement. Startled by her seeming lack of care. 
“I don’t want to lose you, Squeaks.” 
It was honest. As honest as he could be.
She huffed an amused breath in return though, “Not like you’re short on company, Matty.”
He felt his gaze snap up to meet hers then, head shifting with it. 
“What’s that even meant to mean?” He asked her, frowning now, at the way she had crossed her arms over her chest and how her shoulders had hunched on their own accord whilst she casually moved to glance out the window. Matty forced himself up onto his feet, hating the fact she had turned away from him.
“I saw everything, Matty.” Mouse replied tiredly, as though she was fed up, fed up with this, with them. “I saw the articles.”
Matty’s stomach bottomed out at her words, he stepped towards her. “Nothing happened.” He murmured, taking another step closer. “Nothing fucking happened, Squeaks. I swear it.”
She tensed but didn’t quite flinch at his sudden approach, so he kept a little distance between them, even as desperate as he was to hold her. To shake her enough so that she would see sense, that she’d realise how stupid he would have had to have been to have gone near anyone else. That girl was no one, she’d meant nothing. 
“You can swear that, can you?” She mocked him, one corner of her mouth toying with a merciless smile that didn’t quite suit her. “You were gone, Matty. Fucking out of it. That much was clear to see just from the photos alone.”
Matty stared at her helplessly.
She shook her head.
“I’d had a couple drinks. That isn’t a crime!” He stressed, automatically falling onto the defensive, “Didn’t mean I was stupid enough to get with the first person I fucking saw! That girl- she was off her head too. Had mates with her even! But she was just trying to help me, Mouse. That’s all it was.” 
She was shaking her head again now, tongue catching on her incisor; a dead giveaway to how stressed she was, how anxious she was getting. Matty only wished to shoulder it all, that defensiveness of his faltering slightly at the sight of her trying to hide it all. To stay strong. How fucking long had she had to do that?
“I feel like such a fool, Matty.” She finally spoke, her voice trembling with the onslaught of tears that glazed her eyes but she didn’t dare let fall. “A fucking fool. ‘Cause I’d thought that things were okay, that we were okay. That I could finally relax and let you in. But then-“ She paused, a sad huff leaving her, “Then you went and dropped this mess in my lap and somehow expected me to just deal with it. To tell you it’s all fine. That we could make it right.”
Mouse turned then, ever so slowly, looking about as defeated as Matty had ever seen her. He felt his chest burn with the last breath he hadn’t remembered taking let alone hold onto, too afraid to look away, to even move. 
“But you embarrassed me. You’ve made the whole world believe I am that fool. That I was as naive as they’d first made me out to be. As my friends thought me to be.” 
Her smile was shattered and broken, her voice wet and hoarse, but she continued on even as her hands fell limply to her sides and she took a single step closer.
“And to make things worse, you didn’t just hurt me, Matty. You hurt Teddy too.”
Hit them where it hurts.
That was the saying, wasn’t it?
But it only left me feeling all the more sour- gutless. As well as a little stupid, I supposed, wondering if Matty even cared for Teddy at all, or how he had felt the last couple days.
Though I shouldn’t have second guessed it, not when the way Matty’s face immediately paled and then fell proved me wrong. 
Deep down, I knew that he cared. In his own odd way he had always cared. But to know it and to see it were two entirely different things.
And although it was true, that Matty had in fact hurt Teddy. It still felt like a shitty thing to say to him then. But he’d hurt me as well, hadn’t he. And even though I’d been hurting most of my life, Matty being the reason for all that hurt pained me in a way I couldn’t even comprehend. 
“I didn’t-”
I scoffed at his attempted reply, but my heart wasn’t in it, breaking all over again. I wondered how long we could drag this out. If we even would.
“Mean to?” I finished for him, shaking my head stupidly. “I know you didn’t mean to, Matty. Doesn’t change the fact that you still did it.”
His eyes slipped closed just as his lips fell apart, and when he opened them again I was stuck staring into his devastated gaze. 
“If I could take it all back, I would.” He breathed, “I promise you I would.”
I swallowed back my own tears, even as they burned and pricked at my throat and eyes. “But you can’t.”
And it was as simple as that, wasn’t it? He couldn’t ever take it back. 
I don’t want to lose you.
He knew just how to get under my skin, past all that rusted armour of mine.
It was what made this all so much harder. 
“Tell me what to do, Squeaks.” Matty croaked pleadingly, hand reaching out towards me before he looked down at it, blinked, and then let it fall. “I’ll do it, just– tell me.”
What was left that he could do? When it felt like things had so suddenly and so horrifically fallen out from under us.
“I don't know.” I told him honestly, in a barely there whisper, “I just don't know, Matty.”
He stepped even closer then, hand moving to capture my jaw in a determined haste, not restraining himself like he had just moments before. I tried to pull away, titling my chin and looking off to the side as I clenched my teeth, but his thumb was there, luring me back in, forcing me to meet his eye.
“I’m not just gonna give up.” His other hand jumped to cradle my face, a cushion to those heated words. 
I was reluctant in my needless wanting, desperate to be held whilst simultaneously wanting to push him away. So I lifted my hands up to cover his own, unsure of the choice they’d make. To stay, or go.
“It’s not about that, Matty.” I heard myself say pathetically, voice wavering with each word, “You can’t just forget this.”
His dark eyes were trained on me, flickering over every square inch of my scarred face. I’d never felt insecure about them when I was around him, but this moment felt too heated, too high strung. And I’d been burning the candle at both ends the last few days, so with him being this close, this intense, every emotion I’d felt was brimming closer and closer to the surface. 
Instead of facing him, I turned away, hiding once more as I worked my jaw and felt my hands slip down to the backs of his forearms.
A shared breath and then,
“Don’t do that.” Matty whispered in the quiet, almost begging. “Don’t hide from me.”
His thumb smoothed over the skin of my cheek and I was all but putty in hands, looking back at him just as a tear escaped me and slid to meet the pad of it. 
Matty brushed the tear away without thought, before he leant in to rest his forehead against my own. The action forced me to cling tighter to his arms, eyes closing to keep from embarrassing myself any further. I wouldn’t cry. 
I wouldn’t cry.
“Look at me.” He demanded, nose so close that I could practically sense its phantom touch. And foolishly, I did as he asked. “You-” His breath stuttered as his eyes pleaded with me, sounding forced as it broke free from him, his fingers making a home for themselves in my hair. 
“You don’t know what you do to me. How much of a mess I’ve made of myself. How much I have missed you.” Matty confessed, his voice quiet in the small space shared between us, in a place where we were both sheltered and unseen. “And I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry. Enough that I’ll keep on repeating it until you fucking believe me. Enough that I’d do just about anything for you to see how much I want this.”
He sucked in a breath, and I blinked back at him, lips tingling with the sensation of his proximity. 
“I know I messed up. I know.” He repeated, eyes flickering back and forth between my own whilst his thumbs trailed the line of my hair. “But all I’m asking for is a chance to make it right. To be better. Squeaks, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if I could.”
His breath was tickling the skin of my cheek as well as the corner of my mouth, it almost made it difficult to think let alone remember how to breathe. I wanted–
Suddenly my eyes were looking down, focused on his parted mouth, on the stubble he’d let grow across the cut of his chin as well as his upper lip. His nose finally brushed past my own, touching ever so carefully as one or both of us pressed nearer, almost there, inching closer but not close enough.
“Tell me no.” 
Instantly, I was thrown back to that first night he kissed me. I hadn’t told him no then, and for some reason I couldn’t find it in me to decline him now. 
So instead I took, all but biting as my hand cradled the back of his neck and closed that short amount of distance between us. My nails dug into the exposed skin of his nape, where the collar of his shirt jumped with each move he made. My teeth nipped at his lower lip, angry in my attempt to swallow him whole, teeth clashing as we both stumbled, moving and moving until Matty’s back hit the nearest wall.
How the roles had reversed, I thought to myself as Matty’s shoulders flexed beneath his shirt and jumped under my ever roaming hands. I hated the desire that it stirred through me, knowing how easily he could take back control with his carefully contained strength. But he didn’t, instead he gave my fury something to latch onto.
My hand lifted to pin one of his wrists somewhere to the left of his head, glare not wavering even as his stubborn gaze met my own. He was as riled up as me.
“You have some nerve.” I all but spat, watching on as his chest rose and fell, questioning how quickly everything had switched.
“Yeah?” Matty bit back, those familiar brown eyes- a colour that had always brought me comfort- were blazing now as they trailed over the flush that I was sure lined my face. “Why’s that? You’re the one with me pinned, darlin’.” 
His heavy gaze traced the bow of my lip, slumping ever slightly in his stance so that his head could fall closer forward. My breath hitched.
That was all he needed apparently, to earn the upper hand here. Because in a moment, the room was spinning and then I was the one being crowded against the wall, fury be damned.
Contrary to my previous endeavour, Matty’s touch was still as careful as ever, making it that much more obvious that I could slip away if I so wanted. But the question was whether or not I did.
“Matty–”
But he just carried on, as though he hadn’t even heard me speak, voice a low breathy murmur. 
“I’ve been stuck in this endless loop. Driving myself mad.” He told me, his knee angled enough so that he could let his head dip towards the juncture of my neck, his mouth pausing by the shell of my ear whilst a finger gently trailed its way up over my hip. “Wonderin’ if I’d lost this for good.”
My heart pounded in my chest as the ghost of his words tickled my skin, tensing when his nose ever so slightly grazed my jaw. 
That finger of his continued to move, working its way up my torso, jumping across my ribs and up to the bone of my collar. My gaze was fixed on the opposing wall, on the mirror that framed my dazed face and the back of his head. My hand worked its way into his unruly curls.
“But you’re as stubborn as me, see.” Matty added, luring me in, “And I’m not the type to give up on a sure thing.” His words held enough bite that I snapped back to meet his stare, he tilted his head at me whilst I scowled.
“Excuse me?”
Matty smiled, lids heavy as his careful hand danced its way back down my front. 
“And this,” He said, almost in a whisper, ignoring my retort as he hooked my leg around his waist, “This is a sure thing.”
A soft breath escaped me even as I batted his hand away, but he simply reached up to grip at my chin, touch tender even with the way his calloused thumb dragged down my lower lip.
I was slowly beginning to imagine that this was all a dream, something my sick mind had gone and conjured up in hopes to ignore all of the hurt he had put me through. Because this couldn’t be right, things couldn’t have fallen back into place this easily. 
“Matty.” I tried again, firmer this time, but was captured by the look his eyes held, probably having understood the expression that must have just crossed my face.
“What did you do, Squeaks?” He asked me almost hurriedly, shaking my chin between his forefinger and thumb, my previous anger and doubt melting slightly as I leaned further into his touch. “Did you want me to hurt, too?”
I blinked, caught off guard by the sudden question, his swift change in topic. Baffled by the fact that he was now trying to pin this back on me. 
Was that really what this was? I wanted to ask.
Matty didn’t give me the opportunity to say a thing though. My surprise had stalled me briefly, but it had evidently been long enough to allow him to simply carry on.
“What did you do, eh? Tell me.” He breathed before he pressed his mouth to my jaw, once and then twice, pulling away just as I tilted my head to accommodate him, “Did you go out, baby? Find somebody else? Or did you just stay here, waiting for me?”
I reeled back, anger spiking again. “Fuck you.”
Matty’s eyes flickered back and forth between mine. 
“I’m trying to get you to.” He said, always so brazen and snarky, even in the moments where I hated him most. The hand I had previously slapped away went back to the leg he still had draped over his hip, snaking up over my knee and to my thigh. 
My glare didn’t waiver, even as my breathing picked up at the pressure his fingertips wrought on my skin. 
“Tell me no.” He finally repeated, eyes failing to meet mine. And how was I supposed to? When having him this close brought back that fire he’d put out in me, when he was kissing my neck so sweetly?
“We’ll regret it.” It was as close to a no as I could get, enough to have him pause. Matty looked to me then, his hold loosening on my body but still holding. Hoping.
“Do you care?”
I marvelled at the question, did I care?
I cared so much it pained me.
But he hadn’t meant it like that. That much I knew.
Do you care if you regret it? Because, what if you don’t? 
With Matty there was always chance– he was the type to play the odds, to push his luck.
What if.
What if, what if, what if?
Shaking my head, I was forced to question if he understood me as much as I did him. If he could see each of my thoughts just as they dawned on me, flashing across my face like a story being told. 
Then I wondered whether or not I even wanted him to understand. This, this thing we were doing would only further complicate things between us, but perhaps this could be a goodbye.
But, if this was a goodbye, why was he looking at me like that? Watching and waiting for me to truly answer.
Tell me no, he’d said.
Matty’s gaze swept over my face, as though trying to read me, maybe in hopes to find what it was he was really searching for. 
Tell me no.
“Please.”
And my resolve broke at the word.
“Okay.” I heard myself say in reply, nodding quickly, and that was seemingly all the permission he needed before Matty was wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me towards him fully.
My hands floundered momentarily before they were back on his shoulders, his teeth nipping at my neck. 
I moaned, eyes falling shut as he pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses down my skin, teeth scraping before his tongue swirled to soothe their angry ambush. I could smell him everywhere now, the shampoo I was so used to stealing, as well as the only aftershave he’d ever claimed to like.
His hips rolled into mine, pressing himself right against the fabric of my trousers and the underwear which had grown damp during our heated argument. 
I didn’t want to linger too long on the thought of my body’s obvious betrayal, too caught up in him to think about how wrong this should all feel.
“Shit.” Matty groaned, breath catching with it as he continued to grind against me.
I gasped back, grabbing at him harder as he bit down on the curve of my neck. I nipped at his jaw in retaliation, nails digging into the skin of his back, hoping to leave a mark.
“I knew you’d miss me.” He grunted into the base of my throat, the hands which held my waist dipping beneath the hem of my shirt to explore further. “Even when you’re angry you’ll wait. ‘Cause no one else can touch like me.”
A whine bypassed my lips almost involuntarily as he continued to rut against me, I wanted to be angry- no, in fact, I was angry. But all emotion other than want was blurring at the edges of my mind now, being pushed further and further back by each eager kiss he peppered along my jaw.
“You really–” I jerked in surprise, cutting myself off with a short gasp when his hand slipped past the hem of my trousers, fingers pressing against the damp fabric he found there. 
“What was that?” He provoked, and I could hear the smirk in his voice as he trailed over my covered clit, causing me to whimper before I was biting down on my lower lip. Matty didn’t like that much. “Come on, I wanna hear you.” He muttered, pressing a little harder, wanting a reaction. “Tell me.”
“You’re such a bastard.” I panted, head falling against his shoulder as my hips pushed further into his touch, seeking more.
Matty laughed, all breathy and lovely, mouth catching on the lobe of my ear before he hissed, “Yeah, but you like that about me.”
His hand was gone with that and I was almost tempted to ask, to even plead with him for its return, aching all the more now, enough that all I could think about was riding his fingers until I couldn’t think at all. 
But then Matty was grabbing my waist again, his grip hard, firm, and I swallowed when he whispered into my ear once more.
“Jump.”
Without thinking, I jumped. 
We collided, his mouth on mine and the two of us moving as though it was second nature. And in a way, it was. But it shouldn’t have been. I knew that. I tried to remind myself of it. 
He shouldn’t be here.
But he was. Walking his way through my flat with ease, effortlessly missing each sharp corner and the miniscule step which led back into the hallway. He was blind, my hands in his hair as he manoeuvred us into my bedroom, throwing me down onto sheets that he’d never seen, let alone slept in. 
I tugged him down with me, his hands moving to unbutton those fucking jeans he always wore as he worked his way back into my mouth. 
He hovered over me after kicking them off, my head pressed to the pillows as his eyes roamed every inch of my face. “Beautiful.” He whispered, as though he hadn’t really meant to say the word aloud.
My breath hitched anyway but Matty paid it no mind, leaning in closer to kiss me again, slower this time around, though his hands were still quick, tugging at the hem of my top enough so that I got the hint. I lifted myself up, breaking away to take it off and toss it to the side. 
Matty kissed his way down my neck again, following the trail of scars down my torso until his fingers paused to hook around the top of my trousers. I nodded at his silent ask, planting my feet a little firmer on the mattress so that they could follow my tee.
Matty stopped then, kneeling between my parted thighs, eyes caught on the panties I was wearing, and I could swear something in his gaze shifted as he stared down at me. 
“Lace?” He murmured, fingers curling around my thighs tight enough to bruise as he pushed forward, closer to my face. “Really?”
It was a loaded question. Almost felt like an accusation.
I shrugged– I hadn’t meant to end up here, but it hadn’t been subconscious when I’d picked them out of the pile this morning. He liked the way they looked, had told me so one night spent at his when he’d talked me into smoking a couple joints with him sprawled out on his living room floor. 
I opened my mouth to reply but Matty didn’t quite catch the motion, already busying himself with the task of pulling the lace down my thighs. His fingers, calloused from years of playing guitar, dragged alongside the black material rolling down my legs. I tensed at the feeling, zeroing in on the slow motion, then listened to him groan at the sight before they were gone completely.
I watched him pull away, balling the damp fabric up in a fist before leaning over the side of the bed to drop them on top of his jeans. 
“A souvenir?” I couldn’t help but question, mostly out of mirth, but humour helped deflect from the weight I felt at having him here.
Matty hummed, fingers already back on me, trailing the length of my right leg before he was stretching his way back up again, head stopping between my parted thighs and nosing at a crease sat at the very top. He didn’t answer me though, instead choosing to shut me up with another gasp by dragging his thumb across my folds.
“Matty.”
“Hm?” He hummed again, having sat back on his heels to watch me squirm as he continued on. I shot him a rather annoyed glare.
“Take off your shirt and fuck me.” 
His brows rose languidly when he flicked his eyes back up to meet mine, then tilted his head. “But I’m having so much fun.”
With a swift kick to his side, Matty’s hand fell away and he shook his head around the beginnings of a smile. “Always so demanding.” He tutted and before I could spit something back– probably about him being the biggest hypocrite I knew– he was placing his hands either side of my head and leaning forward so that his lips were right beside my ear, his breath fanning the shell of it. “You gonna beg for it?”
My breathing grew heavy as I watched him pull away, dragging a finger up the inside of my thigh before stilling ever so briefly and venturing on, up over my hip and then my ribs. He pressed a slow kiss to my chest, eyes flicking up to find mine as his tongue swirled over the skin, there and then gone.
“Come on–”
He huffed a quiet laugh, the force of it lighting goosebumps over my exposed flesh. “Come on, baby. Beg.”
I rolled my eyes, reaching up to grab at his neck but he was already dancing out of my reach. He jutted his chin. 
“Matty.” I huffed.
“Yeah?”
I really wanted to throttle him, “Fuck me. I’m not asking.”
The corner of his mouth tugged itself up into a small smirk, “Good enough.”
A disbelieving chuckle escaped me, one which was quickly cut short by his wandering hands finding purchase on my hips once more, before he dragged me down the length of the bed, his mouth finding purchase on the swell of my breast.
He pressed fast kisses along the curve of it until his tongue flicked out over the nipple, causing me to gasp. My hands flew out to tangle themselves in his hair when he lapped it into his mouth to suck and I groaned at the weight of his hands cradling the curve of my back. 
“Matty.”
He hummed and the sound sent vibrations rippling out across my skin, I fisted my hands into his curls harder.
Shifting until my hips found his whilst he lavished at my chest, I pressed up into him, both annoyed by the fact he was still clad in his boxers and pleased by the very visible wet patch I could see. I ground against him and the sensation elicited moans from the pair of us, his hands flying down to hold my hips steady.
“Patience.” He murmured, but I was having none of it, lifting a leg against his arse to spur him closer. Matty’s head jerked up at the surprise before he looked down at me and stared. “You’ll be the death of me.”
“You better hope not.” I replied, hands finding the hem of his shirt and dragging it off before he could fight me on it. “I’ll make it painful.”
“Counting on it.” Matty murmured back, hair now a mess, either from the clutch I’d had on it moments before or from the way I’d all but yanked his top over his head. “On all fours,” He said roughly, tapping my outer thigh twice. My already flushed skin heated further at the understanding of how he wanted to take me but– contrary to popular belief– I didn’t argue and rolled onto my stomach.
Palms to the sheets, I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, eyes trained on the headboard. I grinned to myself when I heard Matty groan at the sight, looking back over my shoulder only briefly to see him palming himself through his boxers.
“Don’t have all day, Healy.” I prompted after a moment passed, just before the mattress shifted beneath his weight. I heard something drop to the floor a second later before he was right up behind me.
I jolted a tad at his sudden touch, then was forced to focus on the way his hands slid over my hips with that same familiarity they’d always done, moving up to the swell of my arse to squeeze it before dropping back down to spread my legs further apart.
A moment passed and I was forced to wait in the silence he then gifted me, waiting and waiting until I finally went to say something. It was then that I felt a finger glide down my spine, dragging ever so slowly over my jumping muscles. 
“Hands,” Matty then reminded and I was forced to blink away the haze I had drifted into, reaching up to grab onto the headboard just as I felt him swipe his dick between my thighs, guiding himself up over my folds, pushing past them so he rested at my entrance. 
I let go of a rush of air, splaying my hands further against the headboard before he slammed into me without any warning at all, all the way up to the hilt whilst I cried out at the sudden fullness. “Fuck.” I hissed, head falling between my shoulders as I winced. 
I breathed through the bit of pain that came with the thrust, acknowledging that Matty didn’t move an inch and instead keeping still, hands holding my hips even as he leaned over to whisper, “You good?”
His voice was surprisingly soft in the quietness that encased the flat, reminding me of other times we’d spent here, both like this and in other odd moments. It made my chest ache.
I took another moment to adjust to him before I nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”
He hummed in turn but didn’t question it, just waited, thumbs circling the skin on my hips for a moment in a manner so gentle and yet so very Matty, before finally, he moved. 
His thrusts were shallow and slow at first, his thumbs keeping the same steady tempo as they continued to soothe the tops of my hips. I moaned at the feel of him, before I managed to roll my hips back to meet his own, enjoying the sound that escaped him.
“So good.” He said, hand sliding further up my side and towards my ribs before I was titling my head back and Matty was holding a fistful of my hair. He just held it for a bit, forearm pressed against the skin of my back before his thrusts began to grow harder, tugging more and more.
The room was quickly filled with the sounds of our groans along with the bedframe rocking against the wall and I praised all the Gods above for the fact that there were currently no neighbours residing in the flat beyond it, before I was quickly swept up once more in the thick scent of sweat and sex. Matty fucking into me with a desperation I’d never quite experienced from him before.
I panted beneath him, nails digging into the wood of my headboard whilst he picked up the pace.
I couldn’t quite focus on anything but him. His breathy whispers, his fingertips which dotted my skin, the feel of him rocking in and out of me. It was almost as though nothing else existed but this moment, even if I knew it would soon end. His thrusts getting sloppier, his grip tightening, his murmured praises increasing by a tenfold. 
“Come on, baby.”
I liked when he called me that.
Made me feel special. 
But that thought soon soured. Because, was I really? 
How could I be anything special when my whole life I’d been nothing but a doormat for people to walk all over? I couldn’t help but think that Matty would be the same, like he’d gotten too close and finally seen what everybody else already had.
“Squeaks, baby. What do you need?”
I whimpered at his ask, tears collecting in the corners of my eyes. “I–”
What the fuck did I need? It wasn’t meant to feel so loaded, that question. But it felt as though the walls were now closing in. Because was this it? Was this the end?
“I–” I tried, feeling Matty’s fingers slip from the ends of my hair before a gentle palm laid itself flat on the small of my back.
“So good for me.” I heard him say and I moaned at the slight praise, breathing harder as he continued to mumble mostly to himself, “So pretty. So good.”
I was almost there, back arching under his palm as the other moved away from the right grasp it held on my hip, fingers finally finding my clit, knowing exactly what I needed.
“Yes.” I panted as the combination of his hard thrusts and steady hand sent my head into a dizzying pool of water, “God, yes. I–”
I think I screamed as I came, his fingers working deftly whilst mine clung to the headboard, body trembling as I fought to keep myself up. But Matty was there, holding me long enough so that he could reach his high and pull out with a loud grunt, coating my inner thighs. 
We stayed there for, I don’t know how long, until he finally released me, falling away whilst I slumped forward onto the pillows before us. He followed a second later, still catching his breath as he stared up at the ceiling. I watched him, eyes hidden behind my forearm and a sprawl of hair that had fallen over my face, content to soak in what I could of him. What I had left.
Then Matty shifted beside me, I half expected him to get up and leave with some half-arsed excuse on the tip of his tongue, but he paused when he caught my heavy gaze. I let my eyes trail over the side of face, on the tired circles settled beneath his lash line and the slope of his nose.
He looked back towards the ceiling.
“You got your souvenir, remember?” I found myself saying, stupidly, voice just above a croaked murmur, “Don’t let me keep you.”
Quiet. And then, “Do you want me to?”
I knew what he meant, but still I asked, “Want what?”
Matty’s head slowly turned towards me, eyes guarded and peering over at my devastated form. I wondered what he made of me right then, if he thought anything at all. 
When he offered me no words, I refused to add anything either and felt what was left of my heart crumple up into a pitiful bundle when he pushed himself to the edge of a bed with a barely there sigh.
The air in my lungs caught as I watched and waited, eyes trailing after him as he rounded the bed frame to pick up his discarded boxers. I let them slip closed again, not wanting to watch him leave. 
I listened to his feet pad across the hardwood floors and out of the room. My chest ached with every step but I didn’t dare stop him, burying my face further into my pillow. 
I laid in wait for the front door to open, for there to be a clue to his evident departure, but then the footsteps returned. I didn’t dare give myself false hope, knowing he must have forgotten something to have come back. But the padding continued, closer and closer until they were back by the bed and I held my breath as it creaked, my eyes stinging just as I felt a warm damp cloth press against my inner thighs, wiping me clean.
I choked on the sob that wanted to escape me and the cloth paused for a split second before venturing on. I waited, wondering why he was doing this, why he was dragging it out.
Just leave already.
But then the cloth was pulling away again, and the bed was creaking again, and the tears, they wouldn’t stop. 
Stay. 
Please just stay.
I gasped into the pillowcase, stomach tensing with the strength to keep quiet. To let him leave quietly. 
I wouldn’t cry.
And then there was quiet, at least for a moment or two, before the bed dipped once more and there was a hand in my hair, combing the strands from out of my face and tucking them behind my ear.
When I opened my eyes, he was still there. Dressed and ready to go, but still sitting there beside me. Whilst I laid bare, curled up into a ball to better protect myself from his knowing gaze.
Suddenly everything hurt. Suddenly I felt exhausted and was falling apart at the seams.
Matty moved carefully, stretching toward the foot of the bed before returning with the sheet to cover me up, laying it gently over my trembling shoulders. He leaned in to press a slow kiss to my forehead and then went to move away again.
My hand caught his wrist.
And then I was flat out sobbing. Hysterical even. Crying into the pillow almost soundlessly as I gasped to try and catch my breath. Because I wanted him to stay. I needed him to stay.
Not just for me. But for Teddy. And for the life he brought into my dreary flat. To the kindness he never failed to gift me.
I needed him to stay.
I needed him.
I opened my mouth to ask, to let him know. But I could hardly even bear to look at him, blurred as he was through my onslaught of tears, Matty still held the key to all but destroying what little I had left.
His hand returned to my hair, fingers tangling themselves in it, a sudden contrast to the rough grip they’d held there earlier. And then he settled further onto the bed, back pressed against the headboard whilst he continued to run his fingers through my hair.
The tears still flowed but the sobs came less and less, until I was blinking at his shadowed figure in the dark, holding out hope that somehow he’d just know and he’d stay. 
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fortheb0ys · 6 months
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLYeA8Kt/
Okay okay okay
Pet play with Jeff vs Graves would be soo fun to see
Jeff only really gets rough if provoked, feels awful after usually unless it's sex. Then he's probably pretty satisfied, but even then he's really not that rough. Really gotta work him up to being rough, let him blow some steam in a safe environment where he won't be afraid to be "bad."
He has his moments, overwhelmed and probably panicked, especially after Shauna and her "book club." But he's not inherently a bad dog. He's a good boy, just needy and clingy, probably a bit insecure and wary around people.
That biting issue isn't awful after being with him for awhile, probably actually able to train him over Shauna. But sometimes he'll bite if something feels too good or he's frightened, but I can't imagine putting him in his kennel again over it. They're accidents, lost in his head like last time and everyone's learning from it
Graves?
Rough and mean for the hell of it. Is not satisfied by slow sappy shit unless you really work him in, or his day was genuinely terrible. But usually? Graves is wrestling and probably straight up sparring with you for dominance that he doesn't want.
Bites bites bites all the time. You look like you were thrown to the wolves after leaving a session with Graves, cannot train this out of him. It's his god given right as a puppy. Fuck him with a dildo with a knot? It's soo over for him. Eyes rolled back and drooling everywhere. 0 thoughts in this pups brain, literally none at all as he's shooting blanks over and over again.
He's bratty, mouthy. Loves to tease and be pampered. Stressed at work? Scratch behind his ears and coo at him and he's melting away, itching for that weight of a collar around his neck.
Anyways 😭 idk if any of that makes sense but you get to have my rambles anyways!
-🥭
AHHHH I WANNA DIG A HOLE IN YOUR SKULL TO LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN AND EAT YOUR THOUGHTS!! THIS SO PERFECT😭 This is fucking perfect! I'm so sorry if none of this makes sense.
Jeff is gentle natured. Only ever violent when really pushed in a corner or someone's threatening people dear to him. He's definitely not in control of his mouth when he experiences any overwhelming emotions. He would bite his lip, the inside of his mouth or tongue and not realize. He'd start panicing or whine when he taste blood.
He just doesn't like to be treated rough at all. Rough means punishment. He needs reassurance that he's not a bad boy and that no one's mad at him.
I feel like Jeff gets let off the handle more than he should. Don't want to push him and break his trust. He's, for the most part, well behaved. If he does something wrong he's most likely going to beg for forgiveness before he could get reprimanded.
His kennel isn't really for punishment. It's more of a safe space for him. Just plushies and throw blanket. It's only ever punishment if the cage is closed.
He likes everything soft and sweet, especially nicknames. Cute one like buddy, puppy, pumpkin, etc. He loves to be spoiled. Kisses and praises more the material things.
Shauna lets him stay at your place some weekends and as much as he loves spending time with you Jeff questions why Shauna doesn't love him anymore. He definitely soooooo fucking clingy. The type of dog to wait outside the bathroom door.
Shauna probably wouldn't have much patience with training him. Would give up quickly or scold him a little too hard. Gentleness is key in reinforcing Jeff's good behavior.
Graves gives the vibe of one of those pitbulls named 'Cupcake' or 'Princess'. He can be sweet but violence is in his nature. I think he reacts violently because that's how he was treated. He's violent with both play and sex. He'll violent rip apart toys and goes through them so easily. Old wounds can never heal properly cause he just bites over them (I have a fic talking about this actually).
Graves thinks if he does his mission he'll get rewarded but is let down constantly by Shepherd. He'll finish his mission and all Shepherd gives him is a cold pat on the back and his paycheck.
Yes, Graves loves the money but he craves to be praised both cause of his ego and his deep need to be wanted. If someone wants him, they pay.
Shepherd calls him a dog with a bone. He'd somehow learn of Graves' puppy play. Use it against him and for sometime Graves let him. He's loyal to the ones he's close with and it took alot to break that trust. But seeing his men, the ones he views as a pack, die made him snap.
So now with a new 'handler' he's never going to be fully trusting. He gave it away and it backfired.
I think Graves bite more so to show ownership. Yes, he has violent tendencies but he like to see markings. It's way of him keeping some level of control. Plus he just genuinely like to do it.
Graves accept no punishment. If boundaries are crossed or his actions too severe, just go quiet for a few days to scare him. He'll think he'll be abandon and will crawl back. It's a bit cruel but it's the only thing that works.
He has money so spoiling him with gifts isn't going to win any favor. He just wants someone to 'play' with. Honestly he'd probably pay. Of course, most of the paycheck is hush money.
Graves requires a lot of energy burning activity aka sex when in his head space. He's a busy man and doesn't get to relax often. I can imagine his has those heavy chain collar. Chain him somewhere and get him to fuck himself on a knotted dildo while trying to finish work than fuck him for hours after.
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byechristopher · 10 months
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can you make a pt.2 of “i want more” but like the middle of it….idk maybe chris asking his brothers advices about what to do and ugly crying, writing the letter….just an idea bc i’m mesmerized with this fic and you writing
I Want More. [0.2]
– CHRIS STURNIOLO ANGST & FLUFF.
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PART ONE.
Author's note: thank you so much for the request, love! I loooove the idea that you gave me so, here you go, Chris' side to the story. Do not copy/steal my work. :)
Warnings: mentions of alcohol and w33d, little bit of angst. But that's pretty much it.
Playlist:
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"Chris. I think we need to stop this thing between us."
I freeze. What?
I am pretty sure I look like a crazy man, because my eyes are wide open and I completely freeze. I can't quite understand what is going on inside my head, or my body, but something makes me feel like throwing up.
"What? Why?" I whisper and I wish I never asked that question.
"I don't feel like doing it anymore, sorry. It's for the better." she is cold as ice, I see her standing up, searching for her clothes. There's nothing I can possibly say that won't sound utterly insane. So I just watch her.
She is stiff and quick, she looks like she wants to be out of my house immediately. As soon as possible. I watch her leave.
It is the first time that I watch her leave and I can feel my chest becoming empty all of a sudden. I quickly put on my sweatpants and I run down the stairs, chasing after her but by the time I reach the door, she is already in the car.
Fucking hell.
A few days have passed since that incident and they have been the worst days of my life, I think.
It's only 10PM but I try to get some sleep, I don't want to stay awake for too long, because my thoughts will go wild again. But as soon as I close my eyes, I can feel my chest hurting, a knot in the stomach, a lump in my throat. It feels horrible. So horrible that I tell Nick.
"You know it's because of what happened with that friend of yours, right?" he emphasizes the word "friend", rolling his eyes sarcastically.
"Nick, I'm fucking telling you.. actual pain. Cut the bullshit!" I am so frustrated.
He shrugs and widens his eyes, practically face-palming his face, "Chris, you're in love with the girl, just admit it and shut the fuck up so we can all go to sleep!" he groans.
"Fucking hell, Nick. I shouldn't have told you anything!" my fist meets the table but Nick is unfazed. He knows my anger issues appear when I am feeling like this.
"Chris, I'm being serious. You're denying it so much that your body started to react to it. This is an actual thing that happens. And no matter what I tell you, you won't listen to me." his voice is calmer now and I know he's being serious, "so grow a pair and just tell her already!" he yells and turns to the other side, covering himself with a blanket.
"You've been really fucking helpful, Nick, thanks!" I scoff, closing the door behind me and then going back to my room.
This cannot be the case. Nick is just being an ass. But why does my chest hurt again now that I think of her?
I don't know how long it's been but I've been drinking. I don't know why, I'm not this type of person but, well, happens to the best of us. I try to find my lighter, grabbing the blunt I rolled just a few minutes ago, and heading outside so that I can smoke in peace.
I am outside of her house and I don't know how or why, but it feels right. I feel the need to cry, God, I am such a pussy. I call her. The moment I hear her voice, some tears escape my eyes. I cannot understand.
She comes outside and we start talking, with every word we say, my chest hurts even more.
".. that's not how friends with benefits are, Chris." there's not a way I can actually reply to her because she's right. That's not what friends do, but fuck, I'm scared.
I chew on my bottom lip nervously, "I don't know how to do this. I thought you liked how things were."
What the fuck am I even saying? I just keep messing up. But what she says next, messes me up.
"I want more", "grow a pair", "I want nothing to do with you".
Nick's words reappear in my head and I want to fucking run away. Instead, once again, I do what I do best. I suck it in and I fuck up, "so is this the end?" even the words feel heavy on me.
"I suppose so. Yes." I nod, my jaw is clenched and I can feel my heart breaking again. I turn around quickly, about to leave, because I can't keep my tears in place anymore. I hear the door shut behind me and I burst.
I turn around, walking towards her door again, drunk, high and ugly crying like a little boy. How embarrassing it would be if she ever saw me like this.
I don't remember how, but apparently I went home at some point, because I wake up in my own room. I immediately run downstairs to find Nick and Matt in the kitchen.
"I need help." I clear my throat.
"No shit." Nick rolls his eyes and Matt laughs.
"No, seriously. I need help. I went to her house yesterday. Drunk. And crying." Matt turns around to face me and so does Nick. They did not expect that, neither did I.
"Oh wow. You're actually in love." Matt continues to sip on his juice, and Nick slaps his hand over his mouth dramatically, "don't say that word, Matt! He'll go crazy." Nick says and I sigh.
"No, you're good. Because you two are right. And she's right. She confronted me, told me to grow a pair." I let my head fall on the hard surface of the table, forehead pressed against the wood. My brothers are both looking at me.
"Yeah, it was about time." Matt agrees and I would normally punch him, but I'm just a mess now.
"What do I do?" I groan.
"Go to her house again", "call her, duh", "send her flowers", "buy her chocolate?", "oh my God, plan a romantic date!".
The list of suggestions was long, needless to say, but it still just.. wasn't right. Then an idea came up and I stood up abruptly.
"Wait, I know!" not wanting to lose the creativity or the courage, I quickly run to them, giving them both a kiss on the cheek (which made us all cringe, but it's fine), and then quite literally run to my room.
I am outside of her house again; I've already knocked on the door, pushed the envelope underneath the door and this is the most nervous I've been in my whole life. I can't believe I just did that.
I can hear shuffling behind the door and I almost want to leave – almost. I don't. But I feel the stupid tears in my eyes again. What if she doesn't want this anymore? What if she just never opens the door? What if she hates me already? What if–
The door opens and she cries, and I'm crying. But she opened the door, does that mean–
Stop overthinking.
"I can't lose you. I promise, I will try for you. I will do anything for you." I whisper and I mean it, I'm hugging her so tightly.
"I love you, Chris."
Wow, it feels good. To hear someone say they love you and mean it.
"I am in love with you too."
Fucking hell. That feels just as good. To love someone and be able to let them know.
"Your handwriting still sucks."
I laugh, "fuck off."
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Sorry, I didn't have time to proof-read, so, sorry if I have any typos. Pft. I was excited to upload it.
@loveesiren promised to tag you, queen. 🤍
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hey I hope this isn't too personal but your blog kinda made me realize I'm a sadist and (possibly?) a domme? having lots of feelings about this revelation so I kinda have an odd question as like: how does one get over like cognitive dissonance with regards to self conception? sorry if that's worded weird but like, I'm a huge massive softy with like, hyperempathy type brain nonsense so its kinda hard to imagine myself actually like *as* that kinda person. I'm aware soft-domme type stuff exists but idk like how to put it together in my head? sorry if this is a lil incoherent I just woke up lol. thank you for your kink education stuff and I hope your weekend goes well ^w^
(also any general starting out safety tips are greatly appreciated cuz ngl I'm very in over my head and wanna nip any hazards in the bud before I try experimenting)
Hi there! Not too personal at all, I’m happy to talk about stuff like this. I meant to answer this sooner but I’ve just been too damn busy irl, so here I am now!
When we are presented with new information and our beliefs are not making sense anymore, it’s time to sit down and reevaluate those beliefs. If you haven’t already, I would go look at this post, which goes into more depth about shame and questioning ideas about kinks. Since that post covered shame, I won’t go into depth on here, but we are going to talk about beliefs.
Why does this happen?
What is generally happening in cases like you’re talking about, is that we have formed ideas about ourselves (ex. “I am a big softy + hyperempathetic person”) and about the world (ex. “Sadists are tough/mean/scary/whatever”), and then we create logical conclusions based on those ideas (ex. “I couldn’t be a sadist, because I am soft and not tough/mean/scary”). Which works fine until we get new information that contradicts our conclusions.
What do we do?
When that happens, and we want to resolve it, we gotta find some flexibility in those beliefs! In your case, this might look something like this:
What is “that kinda person”, and exactly what parts don’t fit for you? What parts do fit?
Where did the “that kinda person” idea come from?
Is this always the case? Are sadists 100% like that?
What might someone look like who was very empathetic and ALSO a sadist? How do you feel about the idea?
Why might it actually make sense that someone empathetic would be a sadist?
The whole point here is get a good idea of where the conflict is, why it’s a conflict and then looking for areas of flexibility.
I can’t answer those questions for you, but here is a couple things from my experience that may be useful. I have known a lot of sadists, and just like every other group of people, they vary widely, but my favourite sadists have always been the people who are big, empathetic teddy bears who want to take care of me and coddle me just as much as they want to hurt me. I, myself, am like you, where I am very empathetic but I also very much enjoy psychological sadism.
Part of it, too, is that it just takes time to warm up to these new ideas, and you don’t need to go straight into the hardcore stuff. You can integrate sadism with basically any other kink, and sadism can look a ton of different ways. If it’s more that you like the idea of seeing someone struggling or being afraid, then even stuff like giving someone pleasure or taking care of them can be sadistic. And if you’re more into the actual act of inflicting pain, then you can do it in ways where people are enthusiastically encouraging you the whole time, if that’s what you need. You can also be a sadistic sub! Honestly, I think that’s the wonderful thing about kink - there’s a million ways to mix and match, and cater your experiences to exactly what you like.
Re: starting out safety tips, I think there’s already lots of good resources on this, so look into things like negotiation, safewords, SSC/RACK, red flags, etc. This post is already getting long so I’ll just say one thing that I don’t see talked about enough.
When you’re exploring new stuff and especially new relationships/dynamics, it’s very easy to get swept up by the emotions of it, particularly if you’re a people pleasing type person. All of the bad experiences I have had have stemmed from this - from being too excited and not being able to look at the situation rationally. So imo, it’s important to have clear boundaries for yourself (i.e. I will not do any sex stuff with someone until we have talked about xyz), and to have a plan to keep yourself safe that works under the assumption that you will likely be too enamoured to want to pull yourself away from the dynamic. Having platonic kinky friends really helps with this stuff! What all that actually looks like is a whole other discussion, so I’ll save that for another day.
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djevelbl · 6 days
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Hello everyone! Welcome back to the second edition of Djevel Stalks Someone's Blog, Sees a Comment and Goes On an Out-loud Tangent So. Hard. He Might As Well Make It a Tumblr Post
I'm your host Djevel, and today I'll talk about my own viewpoint on Colly/RuneStraw: completely unnecessary, definitely not asked for yet still delivered to your fyp like that copy of The Book of Bill delivered to that poor sod who bought a church study book on amazon or somethin', exactly how I want my stupid over-the-top opinions to be baybeyyyyyyy~
Now lemme preface this by saying a couple things:
#1: I don't mind RuneStraw half as much as this over-the-top post will make it look like, they're actually cute af together and have a great dynamic going on! I just like to bitch about stuff, I love yapping and the blog blurb already says that I'll "scream into the void about whatever media I'm consuming" - you read that, clicked on read more, don't come at me over this of all things. As a show of good will, I'm writing this as I listen to Love Again - Dua Lipa (really good also fits these two dweebs really well so there's that)
#2: This is just my opinion and if at any point you feel like I gotta remind you of this fact: put the hands away from the keyboard, open the window and smell outside air - it ain't that deep. You can always just not read it
#3: If you so happen to identify yourself as the blog I was stalking before I started typing this out - this isn't criticising your post or anything, I'm just a sleeper agent on the subject and happened to wake myself up with that post lmaooo (also no you're not. I don't wanna have a confrontation over this ❤)
With that out of the way - let the bloodbath begin (probably mine as well LMAO)
Let's start strong and lemme say it already: I don't think the fact that Cup is into Holly is a counter-argument to the "why can't they just stay friends" bc that's not really answering the question?? At least whenever I ask it it's less about the now and more about the whole relationship - beyond giving Cup a solid, tangible goal to reach through rehabilitation and tHERAPY IF HE EVER GETS IT and giving Holly stability in a world much more dangerous than she thought, both of which can be given to them through different means, what does having them kissing do for them as growing characters, and what does it do for the narrative? After all they're puzzle pieces within a larger story, and while I love preaching about considering your characters like people when you sit down to analyze them, you still have to understand them as the puzzle pieces they are: they all have an individual purpose within the story, and the connections you decide to make between them have to give something to them or at least to the narrative. Something nothing else can give them, so we care about those connections.
Something I'm not sure having these two goobers kissing quite accomplishes. But maybe I'm just a hater, idk
Now getting into more of my own perspective on RuneStraw - would you believe me when I tell you I groaned out loud when I read it? Y'know what I mean - any set-up for the ship between book 11 and 12 is valid if it came up to your head when I said it, I probably groaned at all of them lol and that's because to me it came out of nowhere; sure, Holly had mentioned she had a crush on Cup back when she was dating Finnley I think (remember him? yea,,, I miss him too), but she was:
1) Dating someone at the time.
2) Talking about it in a past tense, implying she didn't feel that way anymore.
3) Building off of 2 - with the way she mentioned it, it genuinely sounded like she's distanced herself from the sentiment; from what I remember she talked about in the same way one does about thoughts and feelings one had years ago. Almost like they're from a different person.
These three things led me to believe she wasn't interested in him nor was she gonna be - her crush was based on an image Cuphead willingly puts up as a shield and that by now she knows is fake; her feelings back then were born out of a dark, mysterious and brooding façade he constantly put up that dissipated the moment she had more than a few words exchanged with him. The mysticism was gone, the alure is as well - she was left with a genuine yet broken man, not the put-together mobster she thought he was. And while it isn't impossible she recovered those feelings but directed towards the actual Cuphead, it feels like an odd choice to backtrack her character like that.
There's also the fact that they were the only duo of different genders that wasn't gonna be a romantic pairing, Until they weren't.
And I'll come out and admit it: maybe this point is most of the reason why RuneStraw bothered me as much as it did when it got introduced more heavily. This is the thing: the question of "why can't they just stay friends?" is a valid one to throw into the conversation - as I said, they were the only friends of opposite genders who didn't wanna get into each other's pants, because AliBends is canon (if currently doomed by the narrative), Minnie and Mickey obviously like each other, Donald and Daisy are dating I'm pretty sure, Jake has active feelings for Alice to the point he distanced himself from her to manage his own emotions and keep them in check when it became obvious she isn't actually interested in him romantically, and even if this next one isn't quite the Inky Mystery Team's fault (after all they're working off whatever scraps Quest for the Ink Machine left in its wake) I'll throw it in the ring just to drive the point across: while Cala Maria is her own character and her own person, often times it feels like the deepening of her character and whatever conflicts she may be going through are there for the benefit of Mugman's own struggles and character arc; we don't see much of her reaction at Mugs' heroic but reckless deal with Marcus or her reaction to having been found, we don't hear much about her ink illness beyond that one chapter where she started showing symptoms. For as much personality as she has and for as lovable as she is, sometimes she feels like Mugman's romantic interest first, herself second - probably due to not being part of the main cast, which is fair to some extent.
Personally I don't see RuneStraw as a romantic connection that had to be done necessarily - what each provides to the other's character development (a tangible goal for Cuppy, a much-needed stability within a dangerous world for Holly) is already being provided by their friends, people they should be able to rely on. I guess I just feel a little sad that we don't have many bonding chapters between all the Questers, regardless of duos or dynamics that pair up the best: imagine (and bear here with me, this is getting into the headcanon territory lol) if angels can sense Demon Deals as these are an extension of a demon's magic (something angels can detect) and once Alice comes back from The Upper she notices - really notices, decides to pay attention - that there's something cold wrapped around Cup; they have a conversation where Cuphead tiptoes around his childhood and all the stardust he's gone through in one of the biggest displays of bravery and trust he's given us this far, and Alice knows he's not telling the whole truth but she listens, she listens and shares how it was growing up with expectations of being a great angel someday. He shows her trust, and she gives the same trust out of her own chest to him.
Imagine Bendy and Cala Maria bonding over a trip to the docks - we could get to know her better, how it was like living as a gorgon, sharing experiences between them on how terrible it is to be hated for something you cannot control, and laughing over the good bits their past can offer them. Finding a weird comfort in having been the monster for a little bit, as they could protect those they love with that infamy and the power it came with (Boris for Bendy and Ebi for Maria, of course) - hell, maybe we could hear of Cala's parents! How they were like, their little quirks and tricks, we could read about Bendy considering her lucky and Maria telling him he's found his family here, that those he's forgotten don't matter because they didn't stick around.
Imagine Alice relaying stories of how her younger siblings are rascals and comparing them to Boris, how much he'd get along with them, singing tunes and dancing for the hell of it - helping him get a better grip at dancing, if marginally, and managing to wring laughs out of him by the tons.
Imagine all of them around a table, sweets and treats laid out, as Felix and Alice do their damn hardest to one-up each other in their wild adventures from before they joined the Questers - the cat talking about his mad dash as he escaped that ferocious beast of a tiger, and he shows the scars like your dad shows you his most prized collections as he talks of the most dangerous bits. The angel taking a swig of her alcohol of choice before going into this maddened ramble about the greatest prank war she's ever been in against Jake, and how they both got banned from several places for a whole dang year. Even Sarah gets wrapped up in the shenanigans and fun once Bendy, Cuphead, Mugman, Holly, Boris and Cala Maria all join in to win the title of Wildest Adventure Story; she's just a child after all, even with incomprehensible magic woven into her soul. Maybe all of the house is there, listening as the Questers finally have a moment to breathe and be as young as they are - the oldest is Felix, and he's in his forties at most, he still has life to him.
This is supposed to be a recovery arc, and mantaining healthy friendships with other people can help a long way with those dark thoughts The Labyrinth left them all.
Romantic love isn't the be-all-end-all, it shouldn't be the ultimate objective of a character that makes them become stagnant and void of themselves, and I guess I just want boys and girls to share stories and rooms without their interactions being a making out or being politely pleasant, pick one situation. I guess I'm just socially blind and petty, maybe I'm taking a fanfiction too seriously - after all, it is made by fans and for the fans; it's no professional production, and sometimes it's just better like that.
TLDR: I go way too hard on fictional characters for wanting to boink, more at 10
Ok but now a real TLDR: I just want the Questers to interact more with each other and I'm not talking about the typical duos always formed like they're in school and they choose their bestie for the group project. I mean all the Questers. Also I went in wayy too hard against fictional characters that just wanna fuck in peace ig
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wolfjackle-creates · 1 year
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Ghost!Robin Part 12
My job ended so now I'm only part time employed. And I'm on vacation! So you get this chapter early in the day because I have plans later tonight. I think I'll have something to post next week, but I'm not sure. I'll be pretty busy this week, but the people I'm staying with do have work and school and stuff, so I should have time while they're doing that. Idk.
Story Summary: Danny was invited to dinner at Wayne Manor to meet Jazz's boyfriend and his family for the first time. He worked hard to make sure no ghost business would interrupt the evening. But when he arrived, all he could focus on was the ghost of the dead Robin that seemed to haunt Jason. Looks like he was breaking his promise.
First, Previous
Word Count: 1.2k
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Danny just blinked at him in confusion. “Who else was there? My accident is what activated the portal and started letting ghosts through. My fault, my responsibility. And since I became half ghost, I had the powers necessary to fix it. My parents were incompetent at best. I just did what had to be done. ”
Bruce’s eyes narrowed. “If your parents were so incompetent, who trained you? Who helped you?”
“I mean, at first it was just Sam, Tucker, and I. They were present for my accident and helped me figure out my powers. Jazz figured it out a few months later and covered for me until she eventually revealed she already knew and then started helping more actively. And eventually I made a bunch of allies in the Realms and they started teaching me. I’m learning sword fighting from the Fright Knight and Pandora, diplomacy from Queen Dorathea, medicine from my doctor, and so many more things. It’s why I’m not worried about getting a GED. I’m so swamped with lessons and responsibilities that I just don’t have the time right now. Even if my grandfather is the master of time.”
Surprisingly, it was Alfred who asked the next question. “Do you ever have time to rest?”
Danny grinned. “Absolutely. When it all gets to be too much, I call up my partners or little sister and run away for a bit. My council then pretends I’m harder to find than I am. Or I’ll fight them off if I’m not ready to go back yet. I won my title through trial of combat, after all. No one can beat me.”
Jazz pouted at him. “You could call me up more often for those escapades, you know.”
Danny laughed. “Call up Ms. Responsibility to help me shirk? Nah, you’re where I go when I need to focus and can’t do it anymore.”
She smiled at him. “I suppose I can settle for that.”
Damian tilted his head. “We have conducted extensive background checks on Jasmine after her relationship with Todd became known. You do not have a younger sister.”
“I do,” said Danny. “Her name is Dani-with-an-i and she’s either two years younger than me or fourteen depending on how you look at it.”
“You’ve been cloned?” Tim was staring at him, so shocked he’d even stopped typing.
“Dani doesn’t like being called my clone. She’s my sister and her own person.”
Tim shook his head. “No, sorry, I said that wrong. My best friend is a clone. Superboy.”
“Oh!” Danny grinned. “I get it. Dani would love an introduction if you think he’d be interested. Superboy was also created by a creepy billionaire who was obsessed with his template, right? They’d have so much in common.”
“Wait,” said Jason. “Vlad Masters actually cloned you? He’s not just some creepy rich dude but legit mad scientist?”
Jazz shrugged. “Supervillain more like. But we’ve got it mostly under control. Bruce, if he tries to set up a meeting with you between Wayne Enterprises and VladCo, let me know? He likes to overshadow his competitors and make them sign over their companies. It’s how he became mayor in Amity. But he won’t do anything if Danny or I are there.”
“Overshadow?” asked Bruce.
“Possession,” Tim answered for Danny. “Apparently it’s a basic ghost power.”
Bruce closed his eyes. “Of course it is.” Looking to Danny, he asked, “What else are basic ghost powers?”
“As I demonstrated earlier, flight—well, it’s more gravity nullification, but semantics—invisibility, intangibility. Then there’s ectoblasts—” he formed one in his hands and tossed it from hand to hand “—overshadowing. Um… and most ghosts have at least one extra power directly tied to their obsession. Like, Boxy, er ,the Box Ghost, has control over cardboard boxes. Lunch Lady has control over food. Things like that.” With a wave of his hands, he dissipated the ectoblast.
“And Vlad Masters has used these powers to win an election and steal other’s companies.”
“He also has the power of duplication. I’m working on it, but can only maintain two duplicates at a time and it takes a ton of concentration. Vlad can maintain dozens if not hundreds at once. And each duplicate can overshadow someone. It’s why he’s such a pain to fight.”
Jason raised his hand. “I’m sorry, can you back up for a sec. How long has Vlad had these powers?”
Jazz shrugged. “Since his university days with Jack and Maddie. There was an accident and Vlad got ghost powers like Danny.”
“Uh-huh.” Jason’s voice was tight and a slow spread of anger was filling the room. “And you first met him when you were a kid, right?”
“Yeah,” said Danny. “It was a few months after my accident, so I was fourteen.”
“Did he, a grown-ass man, start fighting you, a kid right from the beginning?”
“Look, it’s fine. He’s a fruitloop. I know that. He wanted to kill my dad and marry my mom and play father-son with me from the moment we met. And yeah, the fights were hard when I was a kid. But I’m way stronger than him now. He’s just got that one trick that is a bitch to account for. I’m fine. Have been fine. And now I’m old enough and disowned so my parents can’t even force me to spend time with him anymore.”
Robin face palmed at his last words and Danny threw his hands up in the air.
“What did I say this time? I’m fine!”
Bruce frowned. “I’m sorry the adults in your life have failed you so badly. I know you said you are receiving training from other mentors, but I do have extensive experience fighting with and against metas and will share my methods with you. Both you and your sister, excuse me, sisters are welcome here any time and I’ll make sure we have some rooms set aside for you anytime you’re on Earth and in New Jersey.”
Damian jumped to his feet, “Father!”
But before he could say more than that, Dick had rushed to his side and slapped a hand over his mouth and began whispering in his ear. Steph moved seats so the two brothers could sit next to each other.
Robin was grinning and pumping his fists in the air. He sent out welcome, family vibes towards Danny.
Emotions that were echoed by Jason who added a protect layer to them.
Duke let out a whoop. "I won't be the only meta around! Promise me you'll come by a lot."
Danny shook his head, but couldn’t stop the smile. “So, you’ve decided I’m not a threat, then?”
“Hn. It seems like you were a child, put into an impossible situation, failed by all the adults who should’ve protected you, and that you excelled anyway.”
Jason pointed his fork at Danny. “But don’t let him put you at ease. He will figure out ways to neutralize you if you end up going evil or get mind controlled. He does it to everyone, even Superman and Superman is his best friend.”
At that, Danny couldn’t help but laugh. “Good!”
Pulses of surprise came from both Robin and Jason.
“Look, I’ve faced both an evil future version of me and have had to deal with mind control.” He looked to Bruce and, serious now, said, “As soon as the Anti-Ecto Acts are repealed and the Guys in White disbanded, I will help you write those plans myself.”
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Next
The family is finally warming up to Danny and at least some of them want to bring them in! Damian is the least happy about it.
Tag List Part 1
@addie-lover-of-stories, @justwannabecat, @gin2212, @amercurio, @regonold, @overtherose, @readerzj, @sjrose1216, @echoednonny, @deeterzz, @blu-lilac, @number-one-jew, @rowanaway-fromthisbs, @vythika96, @tired-yet-awaken, @themirrorghost, @emeraldcorpral, @all-mights-asscheeks, @darkhinauniverse, @blep-23, @phandomhyperfixationblog, @larkcoe1, @thegatorsgoose, @job-ross-the-second, @britcision, @lenacraft, @bubblemixer, @androgynouslordofescapism, @purefrickingspite, @leftmiraclechaos, @lizisipancardo, @starlight-sparks, @miraculousandmore, @gildedphoenix, @sometimesthingsfallapart, @letmesayfuxk, @phoenixcatch7, @skulld3mort-1fan, @abaowo, @dhampir-princess, @idkmrpianoman, @sarina-elais, @ballzfrog-blog, @undead-essence, @spookytragedyshark, @flyingpansaurus, @akintoabitch, @marivictal, @8-29pm, @justreadingthefanfics, @happybear135, @kisatamao, @spoopyspoony, @adorablechaos, @sara0055, @screamingtofillthevoid
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iren-n-ire · 1 year
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Astrology Observation 8
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🚩 Take note that I'm not a professional astrologer, I just share what I experienced (or observed).
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⚠️THIS BLOG WILL BE LONG, I BET THERE'LL BE AN INFINITE PARTS LOL⚠️
Shoutout to @oldsoulinanewera for today's super long blog. Now my hands & arms are tired🤣 typing this. Thank you for your question♥
Venus in the 8th house... I'll be speaking my experience as someone who have this.
💔 I love secrets and I can keep it to myself even if they don't believe I can (ya know that so called trust issues type people who said that are you sure that you're keeping it hidden?)
💔 If you want a living yandere, this definitely it lol (if they let themselves be consumed by it.)
💔 Venus is related to beauty so as you can see my tumblr aesthetic screams Scorpios' home: the 8th house
💔 My closet is highly composed of black fashion then white and red comes next
💔 They both love to be a top and bottom (if you know what I mean😎)
💔 Admirers maybe hidden, good at hiding their feelings, they may also keep their feelings to themselves or a few people, no more like one person lol because the more people you share it, it's no longer a secret ya know and the same goes to the natives.
Idk but my present crush right now, why do I feel they have feelings for me lol so I just say to myself I'm delusional (I already confessed). Maybe they have a little? Whatever let's go back on to the the topic lol
💔 You're the obsession of everyone, magnetic as everyone says
💔 You didn't expect some people or THAT person have feelings for you
💔 If you don't want to read this anymore because its long lol in short: their ideal or type obviously screams the characteristics of a Scorpio, 8th house which goes to our next bullet;
💔 Love life of these natives are: enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, revengers to lovers, partners in crime, ride or die, crazy in love
They're ideal love story maybe screams this too
💔 You want mind games in your love life? Go with these natives lol (Remember that Libra is paired with Venus and Libra is an Air sign)
💔 If they're not yandere, they'll be tsundere🤣
💔 Maybe too indepent or dependent to their lover and it's a never ending switch of it
💔 They are intimidating physically speaking; the way they deliver their message is strong verbally, it always have an impact on others
💔 You want someone clingy, possessive, will let you live in their mind and body rent free? Go with these natives
💔 They are worth the wait, trust me especially if their Venus is conjuct with Saturn
💔 Extras: Venus conjuct with Saturn has always these part two or season 2 in their lovers or crushes. If you don't get it then here's an example:
Let's say you moved on from your crush in September then you let the feelings come back again the next year in October after the two months of simping to them, you moved on fully.
💔 As stated on the example above, you may have these tendencies because you're missing the adrenaline rush
💔 Have rebound tendencies?
💔 Fifty Shades... they might be into these kinds of ya know...
💔 The simp of emotionally unavailable people, why? 8th house have themes similar to Lilith and Chiron so if they're crushes or type have this, it's like they want to be the one who'll let them be vulnerable or fall for someone again. Again, 8th is transformation.
💔 These natives have THAT sex appeal, people maybe lowkey sexualizing them
💔 The Venusian type who plays hard to get and loves to play the chaser as well😆
💔 Love Game? Count me in! (depends on the native if it includes seggs)
💔 Shameless sometimes and doesn't give a fudge because what happened happened and it is what it is
💔 Eye magnet of the humanity because they scream intimidating bish energy so it's annoying when you always need to make the first move.
💔 Love is a distraction or destruction to them
💔 People have high expectations and huge respect to them.
💔 Ghosters as well when they feel like they want change, when life is falling apart for them they do this too (though everyday is a never ending transformation to them)
💔 The topic of the gossip when they're not around
💔 People are curious what's going on inside their head in public because they cold blooded looking and seems detached
One time, my Capricorn sun friend told me I look tired💀
💔 Suppression of emotions tendencies
💔 Their favorites (anime, manga, manhua, manhwa, movies etc.) always have that 8th house & scorpio things
💔 Mama I'm in love with a criminal
💔 Can be the villain in any story especially ROMANCE lol, the ones who is just an option
💔 The one that got away
💔 Has an extreme, strong, and colossal that no titan (Attack on Titan) nor wander (Shadow of the Colossus) can climb or break. As other tumblrians in the astro community said, they have so many tests like a teacher💀 for you to be qualified in their verified circle of their hearts.
💔 Danger sounds fun to me
💔 Connecting their music taste here (since Venus is the planet of love), they love rnb, slowed & reverbed versions, rock
💔 Songs about toxic love & seggs is also their faves (rebel songs as well)
💔 One of the most loyal Venusians in my opinion
💔 When moving on, they're always be like: its time to be the Killer Queen/King, definitely the definition of Taylor Swift's Reputation
Btw, that is my no.1 fav album of hers 😎
💔 When it comes to the artist, Lana Del Ray, The Weekend, Chase Atlantic, Mother Mother, The Neighborhood, Arctic Monkeys etc.
💔 Spouse maybe their sugar daddy (can be literally) or they will be financially stable if not rich
💔 The people who don't need to be sugar babies because they're spoiled in some way by strangers, friends, family
💔 LOVE x HATE is their THANG
💔 This is like a Virgo Venus, analytical in love
💔 Sarcastic and blunt in love or in their relationships as whole (from family, friends, and so on...)
💔 They said that people with this Venus crave deep, passionate, and meaningful relationship, it's true.
💔 Loves too much so they suffer too much if they break
💔 Open minded to the Taboos because they're here to break some irrational things that are called Tabooz
💔 I don't have any plastic in my DNA so get lost if you have
💔 Poker facers
💔 Rejection? I'm used too much to that so why bother?
💔 Third parties or love triangle or harem seems to be a pattern
Almost all of my ex crushes situationships have that and let me tell you, bro is living the harem dream💀 why? Majority of them are Libra🙂
💔 Basically, they're picky lovers as well: ALL OR NOTHING in love
💔 They're member of the Tarot Community and ofc, Astrology Community. Oh! They're also witches too!
💔 Lilith is also like Venus in the 8th house
💔 Love language: Physical Touch & Quality Time but lowkey expects gifts🤣
💔 Has that addicting energy to them, alluring too
💔 Do you love spicy (& sweet spicy) foods like how spicy you are? (Bc I do)
💔 Favorite colors? Probably black (red too)
💔 Some songs to describe us girls 8th Venus (may apply to boys as well): Dark Horse (Katy), Killer Queen(Tsai), Boyfriend (Dove), Goddess (Jaira), High Enough (K.Flay)
🍷 The following are really personal so I'm just showing mine as an example:
♥ 8TH VENUSies wallpaper:
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💋 8TH VENUSies makeup:
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thisismeracing · 1 year
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Hello! I think #3 is available? Can I request that one for micky? 😊
Of course! 🥰 here you go, sorry for taking forever to finish it
From the Quick Prompt List: 3. “Some lies are made to be told”
word count: 0.8k
pairing: reader (she/her pronouns) x mick schumacher
warnings: angstyyyy, not proofread, mentions of a wedding (idk if this could be a tw, but better be safe than sorry). open ending (more like no happy endings, but whatever).
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There are many types of lies. There are the small ones such as when you go visit a friend and they ask if you're hungry, and you tell them no when, in reality, you are starving. There are also the medium ones, such as when someone asks if you're jealous of a person and you say no but you are biting your nails and digging into your skin. And then, there are the bigger ones, such as the one Mick Schumacher told Yn.
Those more significant lies tend to blow everything up when their truth comes to light, yet, for some reason, Mick did not consider that possibility and went on to deny his feelings until he couldn't anymore.
And the day he couldn't anymore, just happened to be the day of Yn's and Jack's wedding. He knew that to outsiders he may seem like an asshole, but nevertheless, he reached his breaking point. He thought he could keep up with the charade, but it turns out lying to yourself is even worse and makes the biggest of a lie unbearable.
"What did you just say?" Yn asked with her voice strained, eyes wide, lips slightly parted.
Mick gulped, and took a deep breath, but did not look away from her eyes when he repeated, "I am in love with you, and have been since the beginning. I am so sorry, Yn, I'm just so miserable keeping it-"
"Why didn't you tell me before??" she almost screamed, she wanted to scream, to slap him. Yn wanted many things but the biggest was to cry. She felt like lying on the cold hard ground and crying herself to sleep because that could not be true, Mick was her now husband's best friend. The blonde finally dropped his eyes to the ground, his tipsy state made him stumble, but he held on to the chair. "We talked about feelings years ago, Mick, and you told me it was all in my head. You told me you did not feel anything, you told me to stay with Jack." She was furious because from the moment Jack introduced them Yn knew that the way she looked at Schumacher was not the way you were supposed to when in a relationship. And to make matters worse, she felt like he reciprocated everything, there was some kind of tension, and they set an unspoken rule about not acting on it, however, one wine-induced night they talked about it, and she confessed her feelings, but he denied his. He was hell-bent on the bro code, or whatever people would call it. Mick would never steal his best friend's girl, especially because he knew how crazy Jack was about Yn.
Mick did not answer her question, he just looked outside through the big window watching their friends and families drink and eat and happily enjoy the wedding reception.
Yn and Jack decided to marry at the beach, and it was only fair in their minds for the reception to happen there. They had the easiness of getting ready and being close to the beach house, but still thoroughly enjoy a wedding and reception at the same place since the beach was secluded and big enough to comport their families and closest friends.
Right now, Yn was hating the idea because it meant that she and Mick had all the privacy the house could give and he could do what he just did: confess his feelings.
"Answer me, dammit!" Now the tears in her eyes finally spilled. Mick's face crumbled, it pained him so much to see her cry and to be the reason for it? It was like getting hit by a truck. A truck full of all the moments he lied to her and to himself. A truck full of all his untold feelings and unacted moments. A truck full of regrets.
He understands now when his friend Daniel would say "No regrets, just memories" and encourage people to act on their shit instead of regretting not doing so in the future.
"Some lies are made to be told, or so I thought" he whispers. It's a ghost of his voice because now he's crying too.
"You're a coward, Mick Schumacher," she seethes.
The German takes another step back. Yn's the one driving the truck now, and she decided to go full force on him. But it was ok, or so he thought, because maybe he deserved it, maybe he was being an asshole.
"How do you expect me to go around now knowing you loved me back all this time?" Yn's crying is getting harder, her makeup running down her face.
"I- Wait- You love me?"
"I did, but it's too late now," she murmurs before turning her back to him and leaving a tipsy Mick to fall to the ground. The truth may set people free, but he thinks this time it just chained both of them.
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I did not like this piece that much because for some reason dumb-ol-me could not remember what was my initial idea when I wrote this prompt. I'm really sorry, guys, but I hope this was something at least bearable lol *mwah*
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