#idk why but i'm starting to like her
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Not going to lie, I am super disappointed with the new Spiderverse movie.
Spoilers btw but I’m just gonna ramble
It’s pretty clear that Sony wanted a trilogy and forced the writing team to stretch the film out into a duology, because this film is fucking bloated with nonsense and time wasting stuff, and that cliffhanger sequel baiting ending left me going, “That’s it?”
When it slows down to compensate for the script being torn into two movies, it slows down and man you can feel it. It doesn’t slow down for anything important either; I get that the emotional moments need some levity but goddamn they go on for way longer than anything in the first film, and for a lot less important stuff, too. The first film was fast paced and kinetic, and after rewatching today I can say that it was never as dull as this when it slowed down.
Miles feels really generic after “growing up” and accepting his role as Spiderman, and I wasn’t expecting his usual dorkiness to wear off on me so quickly in this film. He was an awkward teen being forced to fill the large shoes of the hero before him, and the first film didn’t have to play it up to sell his character to us. How can he be as good as Spider-Man when Peter already exists?
With good writing, which the first film had, and this film, whether due to how stretched thin it is or something else, doesn’t have it. Honestly, I really can’t stand how everyone is in love with Miles. Gwen shows up to Miles universe and goes, “It’s always so nice talking to you” and it really bugged me because I’m just like
“bitch you haven’t talked to him in months, and you barely talked to him in the last film what are you on about”
And then the Peter from the first film shows up with his new daughter and is like “I had her because of you because I thought she’d grow up to be like you because I think you’re cool” and I’m like
“that’s fucking weird, maybe you should let your daughter grow up to be her own person instead of the awkward kid you barely mentored and don’t know anything about at all other than he’s a spiderman”
I don’t know anything about Miles in the comics or in the recent game because I’m a spider enjoyer not a spider fan, but there isn’t enough about Miles for me to like in this new film. He’s upset that he can’t be Spider-Man and himself, which is something Toby Maguire figured out all the way back in the early 00′s, and this film doesn’t do anything new with that plotline.
The first spiderverse film was good because it tread new ground with a well known backstory, about an outcast kid getting powers and learning to use them for good. The addition of a version of a burned out character we know and love, as well as the new spider people helping Miles as a person and fledgling hero, was entertaining. What does he have now that he’s grown up? Not much.
Now he’s just going through Toby’s phase, in a stretched out movie, where everyone loves him and thinks he’s so great despite not having as much of an interesting personality this time around, and also not doing anything important, either. He doesn’t stop the main villain, he just complains a lot that he isn’t getting his way. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still got some good jokes, and I like the Spot and Miguel, but this film was way too long with way too little happening in it. This film also focuses way too much on the side characters instead of on Miles, like it wants Gwen and Spot to be the main character, and as a result it really doesn’t feel like there’s a main character at all.
There are some other stupid things I don’t like, too. Why is there a pregnant black woman riding a motorcycle and fighting? Babies are soft and should not be exposed to battle with superpowered characters, and pregnant women have trouble moving around. Like, seriously. They can have trouble standing up in the later stages of pregnancy, because they can’t rotate and push themselves up because of the baby bump sometimes. So how am I expected to believe that she’s being a super bad ass, even with powers? I don’t know who she is, and I really don’t care. The first film gave us a quick rundown on all the spider people when they showed up, and I don’t know a single thing about this chick. At the very least, she didn’t have to be pregnant, it added nothing to the film while it was in motion and was genuinely distracting.
The whole spider society thing just made me think of the early Rick and Morty seasons with the whole “council of ricks citadel and evil morty” bullshit. I did not go into this wanting to think about that cartoon, and unfortunately it’s all I could think about in the quarter of the movie that it takes up. Try and tell me it doesn’t remind you of it a little bit.
Now, as a big ol shipper who loves well written romances, I can firmly say I’m not buying this “will they won’t they” shit with Miles and Gwen. She had barely warmed up to being Miles’ friend by the end of the last film, and I already outlined why above that I think it’s stupid, but to add to it, all Gwen thinks about is Miles in this film and I’m like “damn bitch have some agency”. They keep trying to insert all these little tidbits to make Miles jealous and whatnot and I’m just sitting here like
“no”
Here are some choice quotes from the first film to remind you of what Gwen thinks of Miles: “You know I’m older than you, right? 15 months older, but that’s pretty significant if you ask me”, “You don’t get to like my haircut”, “I don’t think you know what puberty is”, “Friends”...
Funny lines of dialogue to be sure, but definitely not romantic. Especially not when she lost her version of Peter Parker, then reunites with another one. I’m not saying she had to fall for burnt out Peter, but the fact that the first film did nothing with it, and then this film for the most part just makes her a one note track about Miles, really rubbed me the wrong way. Especially when she points out that nothing good happens to the Gwen’s who fall in love with Spider-Man.
I guess it’s all about expectations, ironically. Miles didn’t know how to step into Spiderman’s suit, and this sequel doesn’t know how to follow up it’s excellent predecessor. It barely has an antagonist, it’s bloated with filler, the dialogue is stupid in many places, and it’s nice visuals aren’t enough to make up for it.
The only thing I personally think will save the third film would be to subvert those expectations. Have Miles turn down/reject Gwen because she lied to him about his dad’s impending death, have him turn away from Peter for being in on it, and have him step into his own shoes.
#across the spiderverse#spiderverse spoilers#and give me a movie with spider gwen damnit#idk why but i'm starting to like her#she has a cool design#it's cool
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sketch VS final
#trigun stampede#meryl stryfe#trigun#my art#digital art#autodesk sketchbook#I'm testing new coloring styles eheh#also: HER#LOOK AT HER I LOVE HER SO MUCH#idk why but I started to like drawing her more than Vash#trigun fanart
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I hate when Chakotay is watered down to be Janeway's yes man because their disagreements are actually very interesting. [A lot of rambling analysis of this debate in particular below]
Chakotay in Parallax is very interesting in that he has to navigate a lot of different dynamics. Balance a lot of plates while being watched keenly by everyone around him. Immediately preceding this scene we see him ask B'Elanna for her opinion on the bridge - both as a chance to show her knowledge in his bid to make her chief engineer (because she wouldn't get a chance to otherwise as Janeway has clearly indicated that at this point she views B'Elanna as a troublemaker who won't be considered for the position) and because he just thinks she's a better engineer than Carey and wants the best possible chance of them succeeding. Janeway sees this as unacceptable. Carey is the chief engineer and so he should be called and Chakotay NOT asking for his opinion is an insult to Carey, Janeway, and might make the crew doubt Chakotay (and by extension the Maquis') loyalty to the Starfleet crew.
At this point it seems that to Janeway integration ["They're not your people"] means the path of least resistance, specifically tailored towards the Starfleet crew. She wants Chakotay by her side to keep the Maquis crew calm but also seems unwilling to consider them for important positions aboard the ship. Though she says that the Maquis are not Chakotay's people, not his crew, she certainly doesn't seem to consider them hers [Compare this to later instances where she stresses 'our' crew, here she simply says they aren't Chakotay's: Whose crew are they? Are they crew at all?]. This less leaves the impression of "We need to be a cohesive team" and more "You're not in charge here." She essentially accuses Chakotay of playing favorites. In her mind Chakotay's actions are not conducive to integrating the crews which would (again, in her mind) mean the Maquis being docile and accepting, obedient and content - not making trouble for the Starfleet crew. Chakotay counters Janeway's accusation with one of his own: That he IS trying to integrate them into the crew but her not allowing the Maquis any opportunity to prove themselves or succeed, not showing any trust in any of them (except, implicitly at this point, him) is making things difficult. At this point the Maquis crew are ready to mutiny on his word at any time. He knows this for a fact. Aside from that looming threat (the threat being that tensions are high and if nothing changes and they remain high there might be a mutiny even without his word) - Chakotay knows these people and trusts them. Though Starfleet and Janeway think of the Maquis as a violent bunch of criminal terrorists, Chakotay and a good number of the Maquis joined because they believed in the cause they were fighting for. These are people Chakotay knows WILL fight fiercely for what they believe in and conversely, AGAINST what they perceive as injustice. Even if they're not in the majority - they're used to picking fights which seem impossible to win. At this point Janeway admits that she ISN'T making it easy for Chakotay to integrate the Maquis - specifically talking about practical concerns; how she doesn't feel she can let Maquis crew have roles of importance on the ship because they lack the ability to hold them. "They don't have the discipline, they don't have the training," - asserting that they just aren't prepared for any such roles and it doesn't have to do with them being Maquis specifically. Ostensibly, she's treating them as she might treat anyone unqualified for the job.
Chakotay maintains that some of them, like B'Elanna, have the ability to be trained - challenging her point by saying that IF they're trained there's no reason for any Maquis member NOT to be given a more prominent role on the ship. He isn't suggesting they just unqualified people important jobs. If the problem is that they aren't trained, let's train them. These people have the ability to succeed if you give them the tools they need and a fair chance, he insists. Janeway then switches gears and her argument becomes not "The Maquis are untrained so they can't be given those jobs" but "The Maquis crew are unworthy of those jobs when compared to Starfleet personnel" saying that it'll cause insult and upset among the Starfleet crew if any member of the Maquis were to be promoted above them. Again, her idea of integration is based more on Maquis subservience to the Starfleet crew than it is the two crews working together. (Not that I believe she looks at it that way, it's just where her 'path of least resistance' leads) - though she accuses Chakotay of being too focused on "his" crew, she is admitting here that she believes her real crew are the Starfleet officers aboard, not the Maquis. She also admits here that the system she wishes to maintain (and is asking Chakotay to enforce) is one where there will ostensibly never be any chance of a Maquis crew member being promoted because no Maquis crew member will ever be more qualified, more worthy, than a member of Starfleet. We can see how it'd be difficult for Chakotay to convince his crew to remain calm under these circumstances. There's also Tuvok's behavior toward him at the beginning of the episode where the Vulcan nearly goes over Chakotay's head and when he doesn't do so (as Chakotay reminds him that HE'S the superior officer, the First Officer in fact,) Tuvok acts as if him backing down (partially) and conceding (partially) to Chakotay's authority is a favor to Chakotay.
Tuvok in this conversation is downright insubordinate to Chakotay. Despite Chakotay being the first officer, he doesn't take what he says seriously, argues that his own opinion on what should be done should be followed rather than Chakotay's, lectures the first officer about his conduct, and then almost seems to threaten him with a report. In Starfleet's rigidly hierarchical rules, acting like this to a superior officer (ESPECIALLY the first officer) wouldn't be tolerated and Tuvok knows this perfectly well. He isn't a rebellious character and clearly in other episodes adheres to these Starfleet hierarchies and codes of conduct very strictly. He values them highly. But Chakotay, a Maquis, shouldn't be First Officer. Why should he be given respect for a title he didn't earn? [Affirming Janeway's argument about how Starfleet officers won't be eager to follow a Maquis senior officer] Even though Chakotay tells Tuvok off for it ["I don't have to explain myself to you"] he doesn't threaten to put Tuvok on report or explicitly mention his insubordination. It's unclear if this is Chakotay's personality or if he just doesn't feel he CAN do that. Tuvok is one of the three most senior officers aboard and very close to Janeway. Chakotay has to think of the optics of any situation at all times - we see seconds after this conversation that rumors have already started swirling around B'Elanna being relegated to quarters that've fanned the flames of mutiny. Though we know Tuvok has personal reasons for behaving the way he does toward Chakotay (which he later admits), I really don't think it'd be out of the ordinary for this to be how most Starfleet personnel would treat the Maquis if they weren't outright hostile: Like they're only pretend crewmen. To a lesser extent we even see this with Janeway: In the following staff meeting, she clearly doesn't consider B'Elanna a viable option when Chakotay brings her up and almost ignores the suggestion entirely.
It also, again, leaves Chakotay in an impossible position. If he doesn't protect and fight for the Maquis crew, they won't ever be considered a true part of the crew and dissatisfaction will likely spread among them. Dissatisfaction which the Starfleet crew will then use to further label the Maquis as insubordinate, uncontrollable, unfit. Not to mention that if he doesn't advocate for them, he might lose their trust. However, if he DOES try to help the Maquis crew advance the Starfleet crew will view this as 'favoritism' and will further distrust him, won't respect the people he puts forth as worthy. Janeway seems to be intent on not advocating for any of the Maquis crew and also seems unwilling to ask that the Starfleet crew grant leniency. She implies that the Maquis crew need to learn to get in line and keep quiet and it seems almost like [we must remember the optics] she has Chakotay as the only Maquis in a position of power to facilitate that. Chakotay recognizes and pushes against that, saying that he won't just be her token Maquis - there only so she can point to him and say "See? We don't discriminate against the Maquis here." effectively a tool used to shut down any arguments of unfair treatment and a tool to quell the Maquis if any talk of mutiny DOES arise. In this model, Janeway can just tell Chakotay to calm them down and they'll listen because they trust him. She also doesn't have to really listen to anything he says: A token First Officer has no authority; his words don't hold weight. [Chakotay isn't Maquis anymore, they aren't his crew anymore - ok. What is he then? What are they? Nothing, without respect.] This plan seems untenable, as much as Janeway frames it as sensible: "I can't make it easy, Commander. Surely you can understand that," and alternatives as impossible "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" - in the long run, how would this be sustainable? In any power structure, you cannot expect a group of people you're unwilling to grant trust or agency to obediently follow you forever. This proposed form of 'integration' in which the Maquis are kept on the bottom rung and told intermittently to stay there quietly by the only one of them granted permission to stand at the top would never be sustainable - especially with a group like the Maquis who again, were founded on the belief that its members should fight against inequity and are already on the verge of mutiny.
I specifically find the statement "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" to be interesting because personally I'd say that being forced together for the rest of almost everyone's natural life is a pretty good reason to ask people to adapt and Janeway does understand this but only applies it to the Maquis - the Maquis are the ones who have to adapt, not Starfleet. The only thing the Starfleet crew have to do is tolerate their presence on board.
At this point Janeway again claims that if Chakotay can show her a 'qualified' Maquis candidate she'll consider them. I believe this is true but we already know that Janeway's standards for qualification will likely not fit the vast majority of the Maquis and Chakotay ignores the claim in favor of putting forth B'Elanna again, firmly. Janeway predictably dismisses her as unqualified and Chakotay disagrees, arguing that he knows her. He's worked with her. He KNOWS that B'Elanna can excel at the job even if she doesn't meet Starfleet/Janeway's qualifications. He doesn't value those qualifications over what he's observed about her - just as he didn't value Carey's title over what he knew about the gap between his and B'Elanna's abilities. Then, Chakotay switches gears. He admits that Janeway's right - he does view the Maquis as his crew but that's because Janeway (almost self admittingly) doesn't and if he doesn't, who will they have? [What kind of captain, kind of man, would he be?] "You're going to have to give them more authority if you want their loyalty." "Theirs or yours, Commander?" Janeway frames Chakotay's words pointing out the flaws in this plan which I outlined earlier, as almost a threat (if she doesn't have Chakotay's loyalty it'll most definitely mean mutiny). Chakotay asserts that it wasn't a threat, he's only trying to help by telling her how the Maquis crew will react to what she's telling him. "I'm sorry you can't see that" - not an apology for what he said but that she isn't willing to budge, not willing to listen to him and acknowledge that she might be as biased towards her crew as he is towards his. Chakotay is trying his best to acclimate his crew but if Janeway isn't willing to do the same, to talk to her people as he's talking to his, then this will not end well and that isn't a threat. It's just the reality of the situation. He then asks permission to leave, showing he is willing to observe Starfleet protocol (just as when he asked permission to speak freely), and Janeway lets him go, exhaling at the intensity of their debate when alone in her ready room.
#J/C is not interesting to me when they're strifelessly playing house or Chakotay is her lovesick yesman who'll do whatever she says#Kathryn Janeway#Chakotay#I really wish they'd kept up this kind of tension between the crews and used Tuvok/Janeway/Tuvok as like a microcosm of that tension#it'd be so good!!#Tuvok#<- he's there too#chara analysis#star trek voyager#st voy#Is this the only episode they call the ship 'The Voyager' ??#Also hearing Harry call Tom 'Mr Paris' is funny - early seasons voyager you have my heart early seasons voy supremacy#ANYWAY - that's beside the point#I do like how the maquis v starfleet tension is handled in this episode#I love how we see everyone start working together and relationships begin to form#How once B'Elanna shows her stuff Janeway is almost immediately intrigued and excited & how B'Elanna feeds off that excitement#The Doctor: -annoyed annoyed complaining complaining snarky comment- ugh I can't believe I have to help with something STUPID#Kes: You're very sensitive aren't you~? /gen /pos#The Doctor: ???? um ..... haha. idk. anyway I'm glad I could help :)#'how can we be seeing a reflection of something that we hadn't even done yet?' Voyager I love you MWAH#Tom Janeway B'Elanna: -temporal mechanics- / Harry: .... so how do we get out???#SUUCKS that in later seasons B'Elanna & Chakotay's relationship isn't focused on anymore but I mean. Every poc is pushed aside in later#seasons. But here you can see how much Chakotay believes in her and wants her to succeed!!! No wonder she likes him so much#He was probably one of the first people to really believe in her and SHOW IT and now Janeway's doing the same thing <3#My above post may paint Janeway somewhat negatively but it's only in the 'character flaws and being wrong about things means you have#a chance to grow' way - as soon as B'Elanna shows her potential Janeway wants to encourage it#God B'Elanna's so pretty#I forgot Seska was on the bridge!#'many of your teachers thought you had the potential to be an outstanding officer' SOMEONE SHOULD HAVETOLD HEEEER!!!!!!!!#WHY DID NO ONE TELL HEEER!!!!!
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Reading loz/lu fics and it's just so interesting how wide the spectrum is of their personalities.
Sometimes it's got an in universe reason (different past (usually gender or species change), recent or ongoing traumatic events, a spectacularly bad first meeting), but sometimes (often) the characters are just... Weirdly angsty or peppy, there's no in between!
And I'm beginning to think less people have played more than one game than I thought XD.
Not that it's anyone's fault! One game is more than enough to be part of it all, and loz is exclusive to Nintendo consoles - and all the older stuff is frustratingly hard to get hold of. Heck, I'm still looking for wind waker, and that was really popular! And then you have to play it! They're not small games!!
But could people writing wild please ease off just a tiiiiiny bit so he can be a semi functional member of society pretty please XD? He's just as much a polite boy as any other member of the chain! He won't even run in shops! He can't attack npcs! He talks to every single person he's ever seen and remembers every single name. Yes, he's three quarters woodland creature with a hefty amount of trauma but he's also a fashionista who managed to avoid accidentally taking sides in a mayoral election and that's not easy!
#I have some actual gripes but that's just me being pedantic about something I know a lot about#loz#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#loz link#loz botw#loz totk#the legend of zelda#totk link#lu wild#Okay but please stop making his teleportation a point of interest to the chain they ALL can warp it's not even slightly special#And the slate/pad doesn't hold any items I'm begging you that's just fanon it's never been canon or been implied to be#Travelling across hyrule (on horseback) is about a week and a half following the paths at a walk. Rito to lurelin. It's not weeks on foot t#Hyrule Castle!!#This isn't a problem but like. Let link be petty brats to civilians occasionally. It's enrichment. They all have beef with some rando.#They're all extremely polite and let people get away with more than they maybe should but like. Adults starting smth with a 16yo.#Also wild has serious beef with ganon why does everyone write him so chill. Like botw sure but totk?? Absolutely not.#'wah my home is in ruins it's all my fault' it's been like that for yonks no one's even mad and hello?? Miles on miles on untouched#Landscapes?? Millenia of ruins indistinguishable from the recent stuff?? Link literally died he could not have done any more#How anyone can play botw/totk and not be BLISTERINGLY proud of hyrule I don't know#Okay but why does everyone (particularly legend omg) always bitterly blame hylia like loz has a dozen odd deities and hylia is the ONE who#Got cursed right alongside link. It's just... Idk but it seems like such a culturally Christian thing. All the focus on one who then gets#Blamed for everything in life going wrong. Not even Christian but specifically American Catholic. I don't know.#Hylia is the one deity we can pretty safely assume is neither omnipotent or omniscient lmao#In every time she has a voice (botk/ss) she pretty clearly mucks up or gets tricked and has regrets#In ss when she was zelda she hated every second of leading link around and even then it all hinged on link being completely willing!!#And then she got kidnapped anyway!#In totk (spoilers) she loses contact with one of her statues and asks link to check it out. Another statue gets POSESSED by ol triangle hea#And again link has to figure out the problem. Like even in her divine form she is so far from all knowing and all doing.#It's a lot of conflating with the concept of fate maybe?
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thinking about post established buddie conceptions of shannon makes me CRAZYYYYYY like we always talk about shannon and eddie being in the hole Together and how her asking for a divorce was her getting out and leaving eddie in it. but. crucially. she didn't actually get out of the hole bc she died. so in this world where buddie finally get together and eddie gets Out. where does that leave shannon? now he's the one leaving her in the hole as he gets out. bc she will forever be trapped on her way out of the hole. so close, but still in it. she didn't get to have ANYTHING, and eddie, bc he's the one who survived, gets to have everything. and she didn't even get to get a divorce. eddie gets to have it all, their son, a real, true love, a family-- an entire life and shannon is stuck forever asking for a divorce from a man who compared their marriage to falling into a vat of chocolate and slowly sinking to death. and he got to get out and learn what love and life should actually look like. but she never did. and i think eddie would hate himself for this
#idk why i've been on such a Shannon Kick lately but thank GOD#bc i'm deeply obsessed with her.....just like eddie#like it's just soooooo tragic#and it always will be. but somehow eddie getting out actually makes it MORE tragic#bc shannon never got out. and all she wanted was a little more time..........#shannon diaz#eddie diaz#buddie#911 abc#eddie x shannon#imagine your husband is GAY and you ask for a DIVORCE and then you fucking DIE. and he gets to have a big beautiful gay love#and life. and you're stuck forever as the woman he married before he found what was actually right#<-oversimplification. of course#if i was shannon diaz i would stop haunting the narrative and start straight up haunting eddie
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I don't know what kind of drugs Rose-Engine put on this particular design, because holy shit I've never been this enthralled by a character before.
#There's something about her bigness and general shape that brings me so much joy#...Expect her legs from the side view. What the hell was that#But yeah I really like how she isn't as... Curvy? Shaped?? As the other replikas#I just think it's really good for a robot girl to be kinda bulky y'know?#I would DIE for an in-depth anatomical/mechanism diagram of this particular unit type as well as the sapr#Like. What does the K on their backs stand for? Why the handles on her head???#Like I even started researching how hydraulic machines and irl animatronics work because of this single fictional robot girl#And yeah there's also their personalities and such ofc. But that's for another day#idk what I'm talking about anymore. Sorry for the yapping#signalis#mnhr#mynah signalis
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Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D
I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.
Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.
I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!
I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.
I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer
I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.
So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3
#I'm not leaving the fandom btw! Just realized it kinda sounds like I will but I won't!#Still got my fem versions and some animations to spice things up in case I feel less inclined to draw my resident skeles lol#To the people that reached out before this thank you SO much!!!#I know this is not gonna reach many people considering my leave but i deeply appreciate it<3#I wouldn't be surprised if people forgot why they even followed me in the first place with how long I've left this time Hhhh#There's some plans about commissions as well cause no matter how many times I fix this poor pc it keeps failing me lmao#And I wanna try my hand at it to feel less pressured and dependent on my academics :')#It's a scary thought and an even scarier process and idk if you guys will be interested? but that's for another post ig >:)c#muah muah ily all thanks for EVERYTHING cause I'd restart this blog all anew if I didn't have so many people that I'd miss around here >:'D#blah blah Yuri is back on her bs so get ready for some banger art!!#To any mutual reading this pleaaaase bear with me if I don't reblog your art immediately#cause I've been tagged on a few and I wanna give them five tags each at minimum and I don't know where to start HHH#If there's something specific you want me to see you're welcome to tag me In it but don't be discouraged I haven't gotten to it yet!#This is So long I'm genuinely sorry aughghg 😭
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Having one of those days where I wanna delete everything I've ever written and crawl into a hole to hide for forever.
Don't worry, I'm not actually gonna. My brain is just being stupid.
#i don't know why i can't shake this feeling that everyone is gonna hate lucy and be hoping that she dies or ends up miserable#some of the responses i've gotten to these past two chapters have been...idk kinda hostile in a way that's got my defenses up#and i'm honestly kinda scared to post the rest of the series because i feel like the blowback i'm gonna get is gonna be really really bad#considering we're only just starting this arc and people already are upset with me over it#normally i'm fine with people not liking my fics or ocs but idk i've poured my whole heart and soul into lucy and this series#it makes me sad to know so many people are gonna hate her#bleghhhh sorry for being such a downer i'm just in a weird mood these past couple of days#lily babbles
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during work yesterday I had the thought that Satoko is the more likely sibling to want kids, and then the image of early-to-mid 20s Sasaki hanging out with said kid would not leave my mind...
#sasaki to miyano#sasamiya#ssmy#sasaki shuumei#sasaki satoko#i don't have a name for this child yet lol#I just know they always talk about Satoko like she's not 5 feet away and hearing everything they say about her#sasaki strikes me as the type of person who naturally vibes well with kids regardless of if he 'likes' kids or not ya know#but especially when satako's kid hits the toddler stage and wants to hang out with him all the time#all of satoko's friends assume sasaki would be the one to accidentally teach her kid inappropriate words#but eveyone who knows about miyano knows HE'S the one who has to be careful about what he says around her#i already have the image in my head of miyano learning the hard way the little kids will latch onto anything and EVERYTHING they hear#as soon as they can start talking#also this is the first time in a long time I've completed a rendered sketch from start to finish in a single day#so it feels nice lol#I'm going to try hard to follow through with just posting sketches more#idk why it's always such a struggle to
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gang I'm not sure I have the courage to come out to my boxing coach
#I need to do some sort of physical activity and that always felt good#but it has always been deadname and women's locker room#then big hiatus from my part#and now I'm back again. again with the deadname and women's locker room#but it feels so wrong#and today I felt like shit because there was people in the locker room#but what is the solution?#to come out ?#they'll laugh.#I don't pass#I never pass#I think people at university don't misgender me only because they're kind#but I don't pass#maybe they'll even nod solemnly and say ok we accept you#but we all know they'll never not see the hips the chest the face the high pitched voice#and I have been stuck here since forever#everyone I know. EVERYONE#is now either on t or can pass#even people who've idk started after I was already going to the therapist because of it#and yes everyone has their own oath and yadda yadda yadda#but why I'm stuck?#I don't understand why I can't go on.#I feel like shit#and mother is ok with it but I know she still hatesthis whole thing#I gave her time I swear#but I miss her#and I tried telling her this and she. she doesn't want to hear it#because in her mind “if you really want it you do it”#like I could pass by sheer willpower#personal
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I keep rewatching this stupid movie it's been 6 times so far please tell me I'm not alone
#I can't get enough#the moviejuice obsession has gotten bad so I've been watching other Micheal Keaton movies#This movie needs a fandom actually I don't care if it's cringe ohhhh man...#SIX TIMES#In full#I started it more times than that but couldn't finish it for whatever reason#I will be watching it more#I'm going to insane#Grrghrhghrrhhghghhhh#God the wives in these movies are so fine#I would treat her right okay#And the husband is... there.#Idk they're really average#Ohhh man 💔 girlboss wife and loser husband my beloved#I think that's why I like the Maitlainds hehehehe#Oughhhh#I need someone else to watch this with#Lmk if you have watched it :3#Mr. Mom#Micheal Keaton#Mr. Mom 1983#Jumps up and down#Goodnight <3
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"You're pretty new at this whole relationship thing, huh?"
"... Yeah."
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#outer range 02x01#maria olivares#rhett abbott#isabel arraiza#lewis pullman#rhett x maria#um... idk i love them#but why would they do this to me? it's gonna sting so much when they break up#her teasing him is my favorite thing#but also her calling him ''wonderful''? my god the squeal i let out...#the smallest little smile and the way he looked at her before he said ''good'' after she said she likes how she feels when she's with him?!#now i'm rhett going ''don't do this'' but instead of with his truck it's with the show#my biggest gripe is that she doesn't help him that much with his broken arm... except maybe to help him shower? /hj#i get why he was the one to get the snacks... it was for the impact of the scene but still#it's great to see them laughing and smiling so much! love that!#i think she smiled at least once while her poor boyfriend was getting freaked out by cats#he could not keep a straight face for that long after saying ''what does that leave me?''#i wonder what he was gonna say before she said she liked how she feels when she's with him... was he giving her an out?#he has NOTHING pleasant to say about her not even a ''thank you'' after being called wonderful smh /j#tw: food?#my girl didn't even say ''bless you'' when he starting sneezing :(#i switched the last picture because i like the way they were smiling at each other when he got onto the bed#after maria laughs in the car after the buffalo run past them i think i can hear the lowest ''so are we-'' or ''sorry''?#and i think that may be because lew thought isa broke character?? but i'm not too sure... maybe it's rhett apologizing#but idk? maybe it's just rhett saying sorry because he felt self-conscious about maybe sounding stupid... or maybe i'm just hearing things#i think the way he even said ''okay'' after she took all the snacks was similar to the way she said it before she grabbed the snacks#look i understand not getting a shower scene but they truly robbed me of seeing rhett and maria with wet hair...#just another little nitpick but i think the ''i like who i am when i'm with you'' would hit harder if we saw maria in scenes without rhett
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idk what to do anymofe atp.
#tonight my mother sat me down at the table and asked me about a friend of mine#this friend is openly a lesbian and my parents know her well because we go spend vacations in the same place#but she lives in switzerland and i don't see her often#and my mom asked me out of the blue if i texted her often in a very suspect way and so i told her that we do in fact text pretty often#because like my parents know her she always bring us chocolate and dog treats for my dog and they never seemed to have issues with that#and she was “what did she say to you?” and at first i was confused and also scared AF#in a 100% serious voice like “if something happened would you tell me?”#and like what the fuck realllg#i eventually understood she was hinting at me buying “men's” clothing in the last year or so#and this friend of mine is very masculine presenting and does the same and i tried to explain my choices had nothing to do with her#but my mother was like “i mean you never did anything like this in the past idk why would you start now” and wanted to show me a picture#of like my twelve years old me wearing a dress???#and then she was like “i think you should stop interacting so much with her because it's not a healthy company for you” like-#what the fuck was that#the whole conversation#scared fbe shit out of me because this is my “i'm not homophobic and i'm in fact very accepting of everyone” mother
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Personally I find it really funny that based on what the twins said in the Book 2 finale re: having to tell their mom about what happened to Unalaq, it's literally canon that Unalaq's wife a) exists, b) is alive, and c) is just chilling in the Northern Water Tribe
She took one look at all the spirit fuckery her husband was getting up to and went "Well that's none of my business" and honestly I respect that
#oh and when I say spirit fuckery I mean it in both the literal and metaphorical sense. blame kat's latest raava and vaatu fic#yeah I'm just gonna start posting random LoK opinions on here now. this blog's been dead long enough#not really an incorrect quotes girly anymore sorry#not even a girl anymore. but you know#most of my red lotus and oc posting will remain on my personal blog though bc no one wants to see that#anyway. yes. Unalaq's wife. when I say the avatar franchise has a mom problem this is exactly what I mean#80% of characters don't have a mom. the moms that are alive either have little to no screen time or mentions#or they're basically Schroedinger's mom in the sense that they exist but not really#the exceptions being like. pema and suyin. and maybe senna though she also has very little screentime#my point is. the twins are younger than korra. I know avatarverse has a precedent for putting kids on the throne. looking at you zuko#but really we should have gotten unalaq's wife as chief of the nwt#introduced her in book 3 during the lead up to p'li's prison break#but that's just my objectively correct opinion#northern water tribe chief raspberry when#(according to avatar wiki her name is malina so I've been calling her raspberry in my head ever since I found out#malina means raspberry in russian that's why. probably in a bunch of other slavic languages too idk I'm not an expert#and she shares a name with katara and sokka's weird white stepmom from the comics which no sane person considers canon. so that's fun)#the legend of korra#unalaq
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sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books
#americans close your eyes and ears right now#i'm well aware that my political takes are way too spicy for you all#and i really do wish my media diet didn't contain so much us-centric shit#but alas we're all suffering here#and i could say that 'oh actually it does matter who your president is for us in the world'#but it doesn't. it really fucking doesn't. that's kind of the point.#oh i'm sorry my spicy takes are already starting#anyway it is wild that you all can understand katniss assassinating coin at the end of mockingjay#but get super upsetty that chappell roan won't support your favorite presidential candidate with her full chest#like come on none of you actually thought that her using the phrase both sides meant that she was a republican or even a centrist#that's just copium#you all knew exactly what she meant#but i guess encouraging people to think critically and get involved with their local elections and politics as well is... bad now?#also... why do you all care so much about a random pop star's opinion and whether or not she dares to criticize a government#like... she's right but i'm sure 5 years from now if she survives in the limelight her edges will be completely chipped away#by all this insane reaction#and before anyone comes for me... no i'm not saying you shouldn't vote. please fucking do.#neither am i saying you shouldn't vote strategically or encourage other people to do so#but if all your energy is spent policing people who criticize your chosen party because of their own principles#then there's something seriously wrong with your politics#and all you're signalling is that you truly do not fucking care about the issues that they care about#if anything..... you RESENT them#and then the same people bring up the parable of the 'unjust man'#or how it's never the right time to talk about gun violence in your country#harm reduction is all good and based but attacking people who are leveraging their support to push your party left#is not. it's not even fucking helpful#anyway. don't base your lives and politics around pop stars.#even if they are more based than you 🤷#i think i'm done now thank you tumblr for letting me have insane rants in my tags that hopefully no one reads#idk i just find this all depressing. i wish you all cared more about the world outside of your bubble. i wish we all did - myself included.
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"Hello Alice..."
Alice Levine in Taskmaster Series 6
#taskmaster#alice levine#taskmastersource#panelshowsource#taskmaster uk#taskmaster series 6#my gifs#marie#i adore her!!!!! she was so cute in this series!!!!#i loved all the lil nicknames she had#this was probably like. the nicest group of contestants to alex#this is my favorite season i've watched by far#gonna go ahead and post this now idk if anyone will see it or care this is mostly for me anyway#personal favorite is cheesecake cause i'm gonna start calling people cheesecake#but wrt to alex the best one was little ferret cause why did she call him that she's right!!!
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