#idk why I’m so emotional thinking about how I was struggling but my kitties were always number one

[jellypawss]

I remember when I was only eating tomato soup every day but I’d still buy my kitties the best wet + dry food on the market. You can call me a lot of things but never a bad pet owner.

[rivangel]

Hey Gee

These fic writers asks are really interesting! I don't know if 3 questions are too much but if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you about ✨- 🌈 - 💋

Thank you <3

hi syl!! forgive the long answer hehe :3

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

definitely this kid levi fic examining levi's canon relationship with kenny and how his ackerman powers were awoken

based on what it's about alone, it makes sense to me why (idk how else to put it) it wouldn't appeal to a lot of people + it's pretty long for a oneshot and contains some dark content.

BUT i speed-wrote it in like 2 days based off this constant fascination i had about what levi's "training" w/ kenny was like and like?? what kind of part did kuchel posthumously play in their dynamic. and my experience growing up just personally. plus i feel like i did a good job on it which is a lil rare for me

so yeah i wish i heard more about it? but at the same time i remember with EXTREME vividness the feedback i DID get on it from 2 people that i still think about when i dont feel confident about my writing, completely unrelated to the fic specifically. im extremely thankful for those comments. so i guess it's a case of quality over quantity if that makes sense.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

i’m going to answer this seriously but the first thing i thought of first is figuring out how scuba diving works from my old mer!levi longfic. i hardcore researched like?? oxygen poisoning? how long air tanks last and how to refuel them? the bends?? that was painful

but to be Serious™️ i started this kitty levi longfic in may 2022 that,,,,, i haven’t updated in about like,, forever (estimation). i think the reason i stopped working on it bc it turned into an INTENSE personal commentary on my own struggles and experiences - to process them i guess? but i kind of regret going that route bc it became mentally draining and just a lot.

i do plan to go back to it after my other longfic (danse macabre) is finished i think. maybe it’s rly weird bc it’s fanfic and narcissistic of me, but i ALSO place a lot of emotional Stuff into what that fic means to me, and i think once it’s done i’ll be in a better place to finish the kitty levi fic.

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

mmm it'd be nice if i did? normally my comments are keyboard smash so fjvrijori. ive heard controversy about it before tho, so the way i tend to think of it is, the writer didn't owe me the fic in the first place, it wasn't owed them for me to comment, so i don't feel one way or another about getting a reply if i leave a comment, but i’d be appreciative if i did. i just hope they read it and it made them happy lol

reeeall fic writer asks

[nattikay]

.

Just trying to sort out some thoughts, came here cuz not sure where else to do it. Might delete later.

So we’ve had Maisie for almost a week now an honestly, it’s...caused me a lot more stress than I’d expected it to. Don’t get me wrong, I like her, and I don’t plan to give her back to the shelter or anything, good gracious, no--but tbh I feel a little guilty for not being ~euphoric~ over the whole scenario, and I’m just trying to work out why.

Don’t worry she is being well taken care of! This is an emotional issue, not an ability-to-care-for issue.

I think some of it may have its roots in our old cat, Harry Pawter. We got Harry when I was around 9 years old and I loved him. However, being a child when we got him, I was never really super good at taking care of him; most of the animal care wound up falling on my parents. 

Harry, for the most part, was a pretty good cat most of his life, but he started developing health problems around his last two years or so. By this point I was in high school, and for all intents and purposes should’ve been old enough and responsible enough to step in and help take proper care of him. But by that point, I hadn’t really formed those habits and...I never really did. Not as much as I should have. And looking back...tbh I feel really bad about it, and wonder if I didn’t love him as much as I should have, or as much as I thought I did. My dad would certainly imply at much when he got frustrated with the cat, and that...kinda sunk its way into my brain, I guess.

I’ve mentioned before that we lost Harry my freshman year of college, my very first semester. But I haven’t told the whole story, because well...I feel really bad about it. But maybe it’ll be good to get it off my chest.

See, Harry’s health had been declining for a while at that point (he was now 9 years old btw). He was struggling to keep himself clean and having more and more accidents outside the litterbox. My dad took him to the vet, and the vet suspected he may have had a brain tumor. All this was happening recently after I started my first semester of college, so I wasn’t home at the time, only getting this info via phone calls. 

My dad didn’t want to pay for expensive tests and surgeries for a cat, so was considering putting him down. I was obviously not in favor of that idea, so we decided that we’d wait until I came home for Christmas and then discuss what to do about the Harry situation.

But we never got the chance. Around November, there was some sort of leak under the fridge or something (I don’t remember the details; again I wasn’t home at the time) and we had to get a lot of work done in there to fix it, which included having all the tiles completely removed and huge fans placed in the kitchen to blow away the ensuing dust. In order to keep Harry out of the way of the construction, we wound up regulating him to the screened-in back patio (and for further context: Harry had always been an indoor-only cat, and never showed much interest in going outside). Needless to say, on top of his health concerns, this construction and jarring change in environment was probably really stressful for him. One day, he found his way out of the patio...and never came back. 

We...don’t really know for sure what happened to him after that. I like to say that he passed away rather than ran away, partly because he didn’t really have great survival skills and between that and his already-present health issues, well...I don’t think he would’ve survived long as a stray, and I prefer to imagine that his suffering ended as quickly and painlessly as possible. Even if he did manage to survive for a while then, he’s almost certainly gone now, given that he’d be nearly 15 by this point...but I digress.

All that said...idk, I guess I never really got any proper closure with Harry. And the more I learn about how to properly care for a cat, especially doing all the research I’ve been doing for Maisie...well, the worse I feel for him.

It’s not that we were bad owners, per se, and we certainly weren’t malicious in any way...but man, we could’ve done so much better. Harry was definitely overfed and undergroomed and we didn’t really know how to deal with his issues later in life...again, we weren’t malicious, but I think we were ignorant. I can’t really blame myself in the early years given that I was a literal child but by the time I reached high school and the like...idk I just feel like I could have and should have done so much better. I wonder how many issues could’ve been resolved if we’d been more attentive, more vigilant. Had been willing to put in more effort than just “meh fill up his food bowl twice a day and have Dad change the litter once in a while”.

And with all that considered, well...let’s just say I have doubts as to my prowess as a cat guardian. I want to make sure what went wrong with Harry goes right with Maisie and I just...idk. It’s just been a lot more emotional pressure than I expected it to be, even more so considering I haven’t yet quite formed the emotional bond with Maisie that I felt with Harry (not that I necessarily should have expected to at this point, given that we’ve only had Maisie for less than a week whereas we had Harry for nine years). But still.

And I mean, it’s not like taking care of Maisie has been difficult from an objective standpoint. It boils down to just feeding her (and making sure it’s the right amount of food), cleaning her litterbox, and playing with her, all of which are pretty simple and straightforward (well actually trying to figure out the right amount of food for her age and size has been a bit of a chore but I digress). 

Again, it’s not the tasks themselves that are an issue...it’s, I guess, the emotional baggage, or something. Knowing that as my cat the responsibility rests squarely on my shoulders (as opposed to having Harry where my parents took up most of the tasks) probably contributes as well.

Probably doesn’t help that this was a rather sudden development as well. It was only a week ago that we even seriously entertained the possibility of getting a new cat, and now here we are. It all happened so fast, it...almost doesn’t seem real.

Then again, not much has been feeling “real” to me lately. But that’s a separate issue and one for my therapist. :P

I also, despite all objective evidence to the contrary, feel almost like I’m being a burden my bringing Maisie into the house. I know that I shouldn’t...it wasn’t even my idea. My brother made the suggestion, my mom endorsed it, my dad ultimately agreed. The whole family seems to like her, even my dad who is by far the least of a cat-person out of all of us has pet her and talked soft to her (I expected him to mostly ignore her).

But...well, ok, another (shorter) storytime. My parents, while they don’t dislike pets, have had enough of them to last their lives, especially after Harry’s troubled final years, which we kids (regrettably) did not do much to help with despite being older by then. About a year or two after we lost Harry, a family in our church was giving away a bunny for adoption after their two dogs didn’t take well to it. My sister, who has always loved bunnies, begged and begged and begged to adopt it, and after promising and promising to take care of it, my parents finally relented. Alas, the bunny did not wind up being as friendly and cuddly as my sister expected, and after a few weeks she lost interest in it, leaving the bulk of the care responsibilities to our youngest brother (who, to his credit, did pretty well...honestly he’s just pretty good with animals in general, of all types...dogs are his top preference but he’ll happily work with just about anything). Not long later, the poor bunny injured itself, and upon doing some research my parents found that bunnies rarely heal properly from that type of injury (I forget what it was exactly, again I was away in college at the time so don’t recall all the details) and that the most humane option was to put it down. We only had that bunny for a few months.

After that, my dad was (understandably) hesitant to bring another pet into the house, however hard we promise to care for it, cuz last time he relented he got burned and a poor bunny had to suffer. When he agreed to let us get a new cat, he included the (reasonable) stipulation that if it ever seems like we’re not taking proper care of kitty, he’s allowed to make the call to give her up back to the shelter.

Now, I have absolutely zero intentions of pulling a sister-and-the-bunny on Maisie, and I very much plan to take as good care of her as possible. But...you can see how there’s some emotional pressure there, yeah? ^^; 

I feel like I have to be an absolutely flawless owner else I’ve let everyone down and proven that my promises to care for her were just talk. I’m afraid people will get mad at Maisie for doing Cat Things and I’ll take the fall and it’ll be assumed I’m not taking proper care of her because I can’t train her well enough. I’m afraid any inconvenience that naturally comes from owning and animal will by default get pinned on me, that I’ll be at fault because I’m the one who technically owns her, I brought her into the house, were it not for me we wouldn’t be dealing with Animal Inconvenience. 

And yes I know that’s irrational...I know my brain is exaggerating and none of them really expect an 8 month old kitten to have flawless behavior or blame me for it and as long as I’m keeping her happy and healthy it’s fine...and yet...

I don't know.

Pressure, I guess. A big life change that happened pretty suddenly and it’s gonna take a little while for it to become the new normal...I’ve just gotta hang on until it does, I guess...

anyways...

R.I.P. Harry Pawter, 2005-2014

(last picture we ever got of him)

Maisie, I will do my best ;_;

(first picture I ever got of her...which, I am just now realizing, is similar to the last pic of Harry ;n;)

[sanguinarius-archive]

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

[maggotmouth]

     hullo it nora, back for more mess. this unhinged little nightmare is cecily who i first birthed around 3 years ago and i am so excited to finally be playing her again. feral wolf girl who loves silk babydoll dresses and bubblegum but would also cut your femoral artery if she was bored. is the eptome of that “somethin dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” trope. amma crellin meets harley quinn meets addy hanlon.  ( pinterest )

APP.

( nora. 22. gmt. she / her. ) it might be HER FRESHMAN year but I still think CECILY DE ROSA looks exactly like FREYA MAVOR and sometimes I think the FEMALE is actually them. Of course I’m wrong, as they’re 19 and studying THEATRE while living in FIDELIS here at Lockwood. The GEMINI can be rather PUCKISH and CANDID, but also kind of SELF-CENTRED and HYSTERICAL. Their most played song on Spotify was CELL BLOCK TANGO by CATHERINE ZETA JONES AND THE COMPANY OF CHICAGO, so I think that says a lot.

BACKGROUND.

tw death suicide murder proceed w caution

born as ‘lamia romana’ in italy to catholic parents. her father was a struggling alcoholic and incredibly depressed. when cece was 4, and her brother was 3 her father fed the gas pipe through the back of their car whilst they prepared to go on their family holiday because he knew suicide would leave his wife and children penniless so he decided the most selfless thing would be to take them with him

cecily (lamia) and her brother luc by some miracle survived the accident, but were left orphaned. they were sent to a convent where they were raised by nuns. cece was incredibly religious. it became her whole life. she was devoted to god completely, almost crazed, because in the absence of parents she transferred the need for a guider and protector onto this spiritual other evoked by her religious beliefs.

she always had a strained relationship w her brother because she believed he wasn’t as devoted to catholicism as she was. when she was 13 he claimed that god wasn’t real and that she was a freak, and in a violent rage cecily thrust a crucifix through his throat. it was completely out of character for her. she screamed until her throat went dry. eventually,  when the nuns managed to tear her away from her brother’s body, she was taken to a psychiatric hospital in manhattan where she stayed for two years. driven to madness, she convinced herself that she had been possessed by the devil the moment she killed her brother, and soon she began to accept her fate, as not holy, like she had anticipated, but in fact it’s ungoldy antithesis

when she was released, she was adopted by an american distant aunt and uncle and sent to a manhattan boarding school under the new name ‘cecily de rosa’. see also: st. trinnians. lifted of any religious obligation, cecily grew wild. she delighted in acting up, cheeking her superiors, causing havoc and chaos, terrifying the other girls. sex became her weapon – she would seduce the boys from the local comprehensive and drop them like flies. to her, it was merely a game. 

uses sex as a weapon, a way in which to manipulate men, having filmed sexual liasons with both a former acting coach and a TA to use for the purposes of blackmail. 

 her expulsion from school was threatened after she streaked the school naked and doused in pig blood, but her academic prowess was an asset to the school, so they learnt to put up with her antics. she applied for yale but didn’t get in.

 she atended juliard for a year but was thrown out for indecency

theatre-wise, one of Cecily’s most commendable traits is her sheer tenacity and lack of inhibition – she is willing to do whatever it takes to climb to the top, and kick as many other people down as necessary on her way there. tthis unhinged hunger for success was evidenced when, in her breakout role, cecily played Tamora in Titus Andronicus. feeling the presentation of one of shakespeare’s most terrifying women was ‘pussy-footed’ and dulled down for a male audience, cecily took matters into her own hands, and during the famous banquet scene where Tamora is fed her own sons, she ate a pig’s heart live on stage – receiving both awestruck and horrified press reviews for her performance -- and getting expelled from her drama school. (thats why she is now at lockwood)

she is in a sorority house n the gymnastic squad. she speaks fluently in four languages. the kind f sociopathic lana del rey writes songs about. 

was raised Roman Catholic, and although she is now estranged from religion, it’s still an integral part of her identity. She holds it partially responsible for the need to repress emotion she still experiences. The only time she allows herself to truly feel, without perceiving it as a weakness, is when she’s performing

cecily was raised with dual-nationality and is multi-lingual. Her parents frequently spoke both Italian and English around the house, leading cecily to do the same. She is also somewhat familiar with Latin, having studied it alongside Literature, Contemporary Dance and Theatre at a manhattan-based performing arts boarding school.

ethereal wood elf. plays flute and does ballet. her favourite tv shows are making a murderer and dance moms. she is big on Tchaikovsky and Bukowski. poetry to cecily is soup of the soul, despite the fact that the only things she really feels are apathy and mild disgust. her poems mostly centre around the beauty of violence -- writing about it often prevents her from committing violent acts -- and also her cat.

loves gettin fucked up. always high on sometin -- cocaine, ecstasy, love, her own ego.

had her first taste of alcohol at 15 and has stayed fond of spirits ever since. likes literature of the macabre, isn’t fond of social media, and loves knee high socks and glitter. she bites her nails, will only take cold showers, and doesn’t drink coffee. loves cats. is vegan.

she sleeps like a cat, regularly but short amounts of time, and is usually found awake at night stalking the streets in the pursuit of self-destruction. she views herself as pansexual because she is attracted to people rather than genders but she thinks men are trash. probably biromantic or homoromantic. she loves the chase. she likes meaningless sexual liasons, but if hearts are broken in the process, even better. hearts are breakable and she believes those who have them are foolish.

aesthetic:  peroxide hair in a bathtub, bleach, glittery socks under spaghetti strap heels, silk slip dresses, glitter smeared beneath eyes, split knuckles, nose bleeds, a bubble of blue gum snapped against cherry flavoured lips, orange peel, knee-high socks, tartan two-piece skirt and blazers, kate moss posters ripped out of vogue, littering a bedroom wall, yearbook photos tacked together with red thread, clip in highlights, stick on earrings, french music humming from a crackly gramophone, a hip flask covered with hello kitty stickers

PLOTS.

i currently have NO PLOTS for her so everything is open. if you want a cousin / ex-lover / friend with benefits  / bully, or are dying for a specific connection, let me know or like this post and i will msg you!! LOVE U ALL xoxo

more plots all of these are plagiarised:

“you were drunk and you climbed in through my apartment window and I’m not really sure how you managed it because not only is the fire escape broken but you are really fucking plastered wtf please, teach me your skills?”

“i set your kitchen on fire ‘by accident’ because i hate your guts, and you know it was me but you have no evidence”

“we’re in a breakfast club style all day detention”

“you came over for ‘help studying’ and my roommate came home five minutes after we were done hooking up and you got roped into a conversation about her dogs and everyone is uncomfortable”

“we’re friends but it’s a really toxic relationship made up of trying to one up each other all the time”

“I caught you writing gay porn in the library and now you’re terrified i’ll tell everyone, but really i’m just waiting for the next instalment”

“i asked you to help me sneak my cat into my dorm but we got caught by the janitor and now we’re both in the principal’s office”

“you saw me come back to my apartment covered in blood one night, but you’ve never asked about it because you’re scared that yours might be the next blood i’m covered in”

“you broke into my apartment while I was out for whatever reason and when I came home I knocked you out and now you’re unconscious on my floor and idk what to do?”

“i just decked you in the face because i’m drunk and you were pissing me off but ow my hand really fucking hurts i think i might have broke it and oh look your nose is bleeding and now we’re both sitting awkwardly in the hospital while i glare at you from across the room. but wait are you giving me sex eyes?? stop that i’m supposed to mad at you??”

“you keep dragging suspicious sacks up to and down from your apartment and I don’t know what your deal is or why I still wanna bone you��

“we’re in the same rocky horror troupe”

“i stayed over at your house and woke you up in the middle of the night to have sex while your roommate is asleep and every time, your room mate yells “STOP FUCKING, JESUS CHRIST” right when we’re about to finish”

“we used to have a thing but  now we hate each others guts and can’t be in the same room without yelling at one another”

“i had a drunk one night stand with your brother last year and i threw up in your room, and now we’re in a class together and it’s really awkward.”

[softforhenry]

I don’t watch every con panel, not even J2 even though I’m a Jensen!girl.

After the huge shitstorm on twitter and even in some media about J2 after SPNNOLA, I had to watch the panels myself though. I recommend that to everyone btw, who only builds their opinion on just a small video snippet of a panel or even just a single tweet.

And I genuinely recommend everyone to watch the panels anyway, because they were FUN!

Gold panel:

The boys joking about Jared’s “n’awlins” accent is so cute. Them doing accents is always great entertainment!

J2 thanking the fans for the EW covers. They are so thankful and appreciative of our support. No matter what they accomplish, they always credit us fans and take time to thank us for our devotion. That they’re still so humble about their success is amazing.

Jared: “I don’t know how subscribing a magazine works anymore.” – Jensen: “You sign up and they send you one.”  I just love Jensen’s deadpan humor! Jared talking about how his mom is so happy for him being on the cover - awww <3

Ahhhhh noooooo don’t kill the kitty, Jensen!! Bad Jensen. LOL.

“Jensen is a master of his voice.” – of course he is. What the hell isn’t he good at?!

Really interesting hearing them talk about voice acting. And I must say, I do enjoy the image of Jensen doing it with just his coffee in his hand and in underwear ^^

J2 being like “come here” to Alex, when he asked about cons. YES!! Bring him to one!

Jensen saying he already likes the holy water joke, because there’s a pun in there. And Jared doing the interrupting sloth. Gotta love those dorks!

The way Jensen immediately perks up and is really attentive when the fan mentions Danneel!

Dean “Boom Boom” Winchester. YES!!!

Jensen talking about home is the cutest!!! Danneel handing him the keys to “EVERYTHING” once Jensen gets home and then driving off… the way Jensen fondly jokes about it and then says that sometimes it does feel like it (wahhh they must miss home and their families so much and the little time they get together must feel too short all the time) and then he gets serious and says it’s actually him asking Danneel “what do you need me to do?”… such a good husband and dad <3

JENSEN MENTIONING FIREFLY – I LIVE FOR THIS!

“Potty words.” Oh Jared. LOL.

The pirate joke is always cute.

And now to that moment: now that I’ve seen it, my thoughts on it: First of all, Jensen genuinely tried to shut Jared down, his “no” was definitely serious. Jared then warned everyone that his joke is “really offensive”. People still kept cheering him on and asking him to tell it. He did. And yes, it was offensive. But yes, it was also a joke. Nothing more. Just to get some perspective on this: How many of you who are now dragging them over the coils for that joke, have played Cards against Humanity for example? How many of you have laughed at all those horrible, inappropriate things that came from that game? Knowing exactly how offensive it is? Just think about that for a second. Also Jensen’s “Mr. Cosby” … how many of you are still making jokes about Trump and retweet memes and stuff about Trump? In all seriousness, there’s nothing to joke about what Trump is doing. But sometimes people have to laugh. That’s it. SO WHERE THE HELL IS THE DIFFERENCE? The double standards of some people are astonishing and it always gets me.

Jared talking about how Odette likes to play with his beard. CUTENESS ALERT!

“Alex has plenty of stories to tell already.” – Then let’s get him to a con ASAP!!!

J2 are always so thoughtful answering the acting advice question. No matter how many times it gets asked, they don’t look bored by it and they always take it serious. They want other people to succeed and give them the best advice they can. Every single time. It amazes me sometimes that they don’t get fed up with questions like this that get asked so often, but they’re always gracious and genuine in their response and I think it’s really sweet and a testament to their characters.

We as a fandom could learn from that, in my humble opinion.

Main panel:

Jensen’s chant. DAMN!! Great mood from the beginning. Love him!

Jared’s story about getting lost in New Orleans and meeting that person who thought he’s only dressed up as Sam Winchester had me laughing.

I know prank questions are getting old, but this time there was actually a good prompt to ask it with Alex being new on set. I giggled at Jensen describing it as “welcome package”. Also let’s hope we get that extra long gag reel!!!!

J2 teasing Misha. I know some people don’t like it. But the thing is, I see most people who say they’re done with it blaming J2 for giving fuel to the Misha haters and that being the reason they don’t like it. Two things that go through my mind at that every time: You shouldn’t blame friends joking about each other for the actions of other people! And the haters will ALWAYS find something to use for their agenda. Everyone with two eyes can see that J2M are true friends. Just watch the jibcon panels and their live streams and stuff – these guys love each other. No matter WHAT J2 might say about Misha, it won’t change a hater’s mind. Nothing will. So let the boys joke about each other. Like Jensen once said: “We prank you as maliciously as we do, because we like you the best.” 

Also here we go with the double standards again: Everyone getting so offended over the offensive joke in the gold panel, but laughing about Jared calling Jensen Misha’s toy? Sexualizing and dehumanizing him? So to those who get angry about the first one and start laughing and squeeing about the second one: Please explain to me why that’s okay? I guess when it fits shipping purposes everything’s fine? Idk… but that’s what I get from it. Jensen’s initial reaction was a double take and a “you did not just say that”-look. But of course Jensen went with the joke and that’s what I love about all of them: They can take a joke, they laugh about each other and even more about themselves, they make us laugh in the process, they aren’t afraid to makes themselves look silly. It’s all in good fun. I’m so done with fans trying their hardest to turn everything into a bad thing. Isn’t this supposed to be our source of fun and sometimes an escape from reality? 

“I shift myself.” Oh Jared. LOL. Jensen stopping Stephen from making the badum tsss at that joke and then apologizing for their lame jokes. PLEASE DON’T EVER CHANGE GUYS!!!

Loved the question about Dean and Jack, Dean’s emotional state and how Jensen thinks about it. I seriously live for hearing Jensen talk about his acting choices and about Dean’s headspace. How he describes anger as a stage of grief – everyone who calls Dean a meanie for his behavior with Jack: Please listen to Jensen here, he’s really an emotionally intelligent man and has a great understanding and instinct for human emotions. I’m also curious about him teasing that the relationship between Dean and Jack will change.

Jensen’s instant reaction of “NONONONONO” to destroying the Impala in episode 2x02 makes me so emotional. This scene is one of those that will always stick with me, it’s so raw and brutal and Jensen was incredible!

It’s also interesting to hear about how they filmed that motel room scene in episode 10x23. That they trashed the room first and then Jensen had to match the destruction they already created for the first takes. I’m laughing at him describing how he threw something against that picture frame and instead of crashing it was hanging perfectly after it. - “He is the one.” – DAMN RIGHT! :)

And Jared chiming in how funny it would’ve been if it had been on purpose and them miming how they put everything into place. LOL.

Look how sweet and happy they look for that girl spending her birthday at the con and having the time of her life. They love seeing other people happy. Adding something to their happiness. They’re good beans.

Jensen admitting that he’s an awful liar and to ask his wife. LOL. Someone ask Danneel about it at the next con she’s at!! (She needs to come to more, pleeeease!!)

Jared fangirling over Sam’s hair, Jensen joking that it’s gray and then making all those faces behind Jared (what an adorable clown!) and then going on to say “I pinch my… side”, that pause and his face after it!! Jensen has such amazing comedic timing, it’s gold!!!

Jensen explaining his reaction to when he sees his own performance on screen, especially emotional ones is so great. How he feels and taps into that emotion again when watching the scene and how much he loves his character (HE’S DEAN’S NUMBER 1 FAN!!!). Also their approach in preparing for a scene and how it fits their characters so well was truly interesting. Jared endlessly preparing and researching, just like Sam. While Jensen does it more on instinct, just like Dean. Gotta say here, that this is why I’m a Jensen/Dean fan. You notice that in his performance all the time and the authenticity he brings to each of Dean’s emotions is always tugging at my heartstrings.

Remembering Kim is always so sweet. They have so many nice things to say about Kim and I found it touching that they’re honoring him so much and credit him for their success.

JENSEN LOVES STRANGER THINGS!!! :D

The boys teasing Heather… from�� Colorado. I’m laughing so hard. I love that they do this kind of thing (though I’d probably die if they started teasing me like that at the mic). The tease and joke with us fans, like we’re really friends/family.

Jared sharing so much about his struggles and his family is always special. I admire him for being so open and I’m thankful for everything he shares with us.

Jensen acknowledging that it’s good that people don’t feel ashamed of getting help, that it’s not about that person being crazy or that there’s something wrong with them. Acceptance is the biggest thing he wants to teach his children and I admire that. Also how his children should feel love and give love is a beautiful thing to say and to live by.

That they use gifs of themselves so often, especially Jared with the Loreal one, is so funny to me.

Jensen geeking out that they’re so popular because there’s so many gifs of SPN – WHAT A CUTIE OMG!

Jensen joking with that girl when she says her favorite gif is the one of Crowley saying “I torture all my friends, it’s how I show love.” His reaction: “What does that say about you? I like it. Text me. Colorado Heather has my number.” I’M DYING HAHAHAHAHA

Jensen & classic rock – YES! “I named my kid Zeppelin!” LOL.

“I like big butts.” – “I’ve put everything I have into Sam.” … Lots of dirty jokes and innuendo. Gotta love them.

“What would Dean do?” … Jensen totally is Dean’s number 1 fan.

I like how respectful Jensen speaks about Bob Singer’s directing. No matter what you think about Singer personally, I love how much Jensen admires other people’s skills and praises their good work.

Good points from Jared about Sam and Jack’s relationship as well. Especially liked how Jared said we don’t actually really know where Sam stands right now. It’s truly unclear how much Sam is about using Jack or caring about him and what he expects from taking Jack under his wing.

LET’S KEEP PUSHING FOR THE SPN MOVIE!!

The last question: Love that the scene with Baby’s backseat wasn’t scripted!

Bottom line: I really enjoyed both panels. J2 were in a great mood and there were some really interesting questions. Watching the panels made me wish that it’s February already so I can be at a con again and enjoy their panels in person <3

[bfknj]

92 tag

sav aka @love-ndletter tagged me for this (hopefully not too long ago I tend to lag SORRY)! tysm friend! I love doing these heheh ALSO GIRL I LOVE UNTOLD STORIES OF THE ER TOO YOURE LIKE THE FIRST PERSON TO EVER KNOW IT SLJHFBAG YES

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (I’m tagging a bunch of mutuals but if I don’t tg you and you wanna try please do!! I love reading people’s answers, also don’t feel like you have to do it!!)

tagging: @jpghope, @taehyunguh, @taenkful, @cyphrs, @hixtae, @guktwt, @minkibread, @softjimns, @ultjmin, @yoongity, @wydkook, @ctrbl, @fwjsn, @taecheol, @5ygi, @agustdoll, @illicitblue, @sehunlo, @yoonung, @loserjongup

THE LAST:

1. Drink: green tea  2. Phone call: my neurologist to make an appointment for an MRI lmao #adulting amirite ladiesss 3. Text message: helping my roommate with immunization requirements 4. Song you listened to: The Night We Met - Lord Huron 5. Time you cried: like three days ago??? I’ve been struggling with health (thus the neurologist appt.) and I broke down the other day :(

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: yes rip 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: yes it was the guy I dated twice for a total over three years my first love Im not bitter at AL L 9. Lost someone special: yes :( 10. Been depressed: yes :( 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no!!! I don’t drink because alcoholism runs in my family so nothing but bad connotations for me heheh

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: blue, baby pink, mustard yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes!! 16. Fallen out of love: yes :/ 17. Laughed until you cried: girl everyday w my mom LOVE THAT CHICK 18. Found out someone was talking about you: probably  19. Met someone who changed you: yes!! (for the better) 20. Found out who your friends are: yes :(: 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I’d say 80%?? I’ve added a bunch of people from college that I haven’t met yet so it brought it down 23. Do you have any pets: yes!! two cats and two dogs (also pet sitting two kitties rn)  24. Do you want to change your name: I used to wanna change it to Jane bc I loved Tarzan LOL not anymore though, I like holly!! but shoot I’ll change my last name hmu namjoon 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothing :--) never celebrated it lmao 26. What time did you wake up: 7:50?? one of the cats woke me up bc he wanted to be pet but I usually get up at 8:15-8:30 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: youtube 28. Name something you can’t wait for: MOVING OUT !!! I love my roomies they're angels 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: this morning when I woke up 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I guess I wish I was more tan?? I’m pretty content with everything rn :) 31. What are you listening right now: Kiwi - Harry Styles (but real talk this entire album is so good guys don't @ me I love it) 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I call my period Tom does that count (Time Of the Month) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my damn health issues :-----) 34. Most visited Website: youtube

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Mole/s: EVERYWHERE MAN IM COVERED I used to be really insecure abt it when I was younger so my dad would tell me that they were called “beauty marks” so people would tell me I have moles and I would be like “ummm aCTUALL YYY I only have beauty marks so” ndsfjnks 36. Mark/s: I have a few scars on my knees, a small burn scar on the back of my hand, a dog bite on the side of my face and a huge burn mark on the inside of my left thigh bc I dropped a curling wand on it (gr9 job @ myself ik) 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a princess then a fashion designer then a architect ??? 38. Haircolor: blonde 39. Long or short hair: long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: kim namjoon my manS 41. What do you like about yourself: my hair and eyes :--) 42. Piercings: basic lobes and belly button 43. Bloodtype: no idea??? I think B-???? 44. Nickname: holls, holyjoons, fonz & lafonzo 45. Relationship status: single  46. Zodiac: aquarius 47. Pronouns: she/her/hers 48. Favorite TV Show: *sweats nervously* uHH???? friends, office, goblin, scarlet hearts ryeo, parks and rec 49. Tattoos: none yet but I’m getting one in a few weeks!!! IM PUMPED  50. Right or left hand: left for playing guitar/ukulele and right for everything else 51. Surgery: stomach when I was three or four?? and wisdom teeth when I was sixteen 52. Hair dyed in different color: nope 53. Sport: GIRL I’VE PLAYED SO MANY idk if dance counts but I’m putting it in bc a WORKOUT ok in order - ballet, tap, cheerleading, gymnastics, karate, soccer, volleyball, jazz, water polo, swim, dive, hip hop (I also did/do beach and pool lifeguarding but idk if that counts???) 55. Vacation: idk if this is for all vacations or what so - hawaii, nevada, arizona, georgia, florida, colorado, norcal??? 56. Pair of trainers: nike airmax theas

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing atm 58. Drinking: nothing atm 59. I’m about to: idk man 61. Waiting for: my mom to get home 62. Want: to travel!! 63. Get married: idk about marriage but I definitely wanna find someone that I would be able to spend my life with 64. Career: something that allows me to live abroad bc thats been my dream for as long as I can remember

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: depends on the person giving them!! hugs I guess tho 66. Lips or eyes: usually I would say eyes but I’m a sucker for some good lips 67. Shorter or taller: taller :---) 68. Older or younger: older  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach?? idk never thought abt it 71. Sensitive or loud: loud bc emotions make me uncomfortable Im a middle school boy ok                                                   72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: idk?? never thought abt it

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 77. Turned someone down: yeah HAH 78. Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah :( 80. Had your heart broken: yeah :( 81. Been arrested: nope 82. Cried when someone died: yeah :((((( 83. Fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: sometimes 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: no :/ lust at first sight yes 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss in the first date: I don't see why not 89. Angels: yes!

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: devon/doots my gIR L 91. Eye color: honey?? I know I sound extra FJBLSKDG BUT I don't wanna say hazel bc too brown  92. Favorite movie: idk??? I watched Love, Rosie recently though and it was cute

[apocalypto12related]

Do all of them!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Ye! Sammy! @deziac

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Um... My family, probably, and no.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty! I love kitties!

4: what’s something you really want right now?

an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo

6: do you like the beach?

so/so. depends on my mood.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)

10: do you like your phone?

i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

prolly not, but when do they?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

sammy! bc we both got new phhones!

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!

16: are you tired?

im always tired!!!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

um... well it’s sammy

so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)

18: are they a relative?

no!!

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

of course!! :P

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.

25: what’s on your mind?

music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.

26: do you have any tattoos?

yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.

27: what is your favorite color?

#00C5FF

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

prolly tonight. owo

29: who are you texting?

Sammy owo

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

probably?? lol what.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.

36: were you single on valentines day?

November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.

38: what do your friends call you?

Kiki :D

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

lil bit.

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Um... probably. I can’t remember.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!

42: what is it from?

Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Sammy owo

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Nah.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No.my hair style is like 99% bun.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i dont follow trends i set them.

48: do you make supper for your family?

not recently but i would for sammy and i usually

49: does your bedroom have a door?

i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e

50: top 3 web-pages?

tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Sammy. xD at least food shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?

Abdomen. (:

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

prolly water owo

55: how is your hair?

it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.

57: do you think two people can last forever?

sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.

59: green or purple grapes?

i don’t eat grapes .w.;;

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

sometime in the future! prolly sammy!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

possibly today

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

lying in bed. :D

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

sammy!!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yeah,but at least i tried.

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)

71: how many fingers do you have?

i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.

72: what is your ringtone?

default at the moment!

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december

74: where is your mum right now?

She passed away. :/

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity. 

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no bc shelter e.e

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

:P i talk to them everyday.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P

87: who was your last received call from?

.3.; sammy

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

money. clothes maybe

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah. lmao.

91: do you sleep with your window open?

i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!

92: do you get along with girls?

ye!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no. owo

94: does sex mean love?

no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship! 

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

>3>;;; again, no.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD

97: did you sleep alone this week?

not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes. >3>

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

OwO Sammy I think.

[blackholeofcreativity]

A whole paragraph got deleted from my original answer, thanks tumblr!

Sorry for the confusion, I started my response by justifying why I thought catra DID consider them friends, otherwise it just seems like i have shitty reading comprehension because i just supported what you originally said while claiming i disagree (:

But anyhow, what i meant to say was that catra did not want to make friends but in her attempts to manipulate people, she actually showed vulnerability and opened herself up to friendship, however unconsciously. During the princess prom episode, she wants to manipulate scorpia into feeling anger towards the princesses so that she may get her revenge on adora. What she ends up doing is connecting emotionally with scorpia on how they’ve both been hurt by princesses. To catra this was entirely unintentional, but to scorpia it solidified her idea that her and catra were friends, because they were both comforted by this similarity and it would seem to her that catra was trying to protect her from the princesses.

Before the crimson waste, when catra loses shadow weaver, she wants to deal with it on her own, but scorpia interferes with the kitty burrito. And though at first she struggles, she then accepts the help scorpia is offering. She stays wrapped up in the blanket after scorpia lets her go, and they sit together on the bed in pretty close proximity to each other, and both of their body language become much more comfortable than we usually see from either of them.

These are just two examples, but i do believe that scorpia was solidly catra’s friend, although she didn’t intend for it to happen. Entrapta’s a lot less solid, there is evidenceof both a friendship between them and no friendship at all. On the one hand catra did try to save entrapta from hordak, even after she realised entrapta had brokenher promise, and after she had been punished by hordak. But on the other hand it always seemed to me like a relationship of mutual benefit, and not one where emotions wereever present for either side. Idk.

But yeah, that’s a longer version of what i meant to say in the deleted paragraph. But reading your response made me realize that scorpia reminds me a lot of kyle. I know it’s a complete tangent but what you said about the horde soldiers being touch starved made me think. I think you’re totally right, but i think it’s a big conflict in all of them. Because softness is seen as weakness in the horde, so i highly doubt scorpia was ever appreciated by anyone before catra.

Kyle is the softest character inthe horde trio and all other characters treat him horribly because of it. It doesn’t matter that they crave closeness, the instinct to bully the weak is stronger. I highly doubt scoripa was bullied like Kyle because of her physical size and strength, but I highly doubt that her softness was ever appreciated. Which is why, i think, she latches so strongly onto catra. When catra tried to manipulate her, scorpia interpreted her words as a friendly gesture, as ‘someone cares about my feelings and is making me feel validated’.

Which hints at a lot of psychological problems in scorpia, but i’m not gonna get into that right now. The factthat all these characters are so multi-dimensional and problematic and understandable is why i love this show so much

Is anyone else getting really worried about Catra as the final season gets closer

[ddtriohub]

arashu for the otp thing {imma compare my answers afterwards to see what differences we have haha of course i gotta answer mine too tho pfft}

Taken from meme: [x] ||Accepting||Boy did I try. Hopefully these make sense OTL 

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

Given the fact that Arashi likes to shop, I’d think Arashi would likely be the one to do this. Shugarl may buy a few things here and there if it makes him think of Arashi. Still, I sort of doubt that either of them would be stupid enough to spend almost all their money? If Arashi were to do that, I’m sure he knows Shugarl would scold him. Go return them. Now. Shugarl would not ever spend almost all his money on something like shopping, even if it were for someone else. That’s not happening.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

I think this can go either way to be honest. I can see that If Shugarl were to ask, Arashi would be okay with landing his lap. If the two of them were reading books on the couch and Arashi asked to borrow Shugarl’s lap, he’d allow it. I find it more likely that Shugarl would be the one sleeping in Arashi’s lap, but I don’t think that happens very often. I see the whole ‘Arashi slept on my shoulder, and I don’t want to wake him… so… if you can’t beat them join them’ situation where Shugarl just rests his head on Arashi’s and falls asleep as well.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

Shugarl doesn’t exactly like to walk around not fully clothed. Especially given the fact that he’s got two noticeable scars on his chest/stomach. I can’t help but wonder if Arashi ever walks around half-naked? I feel like he might? Like 45% positive (which isn’t really positive at all, now is it?). If Arashi does this, Shugarl would only occasionally tell him to put a shirt on. No yelling. I don’t think Arashi would yell either? My sassy mind goes: Why yell when you can just stare and forget what was on your mind.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

DEF ARASHI TO SHUGARL. I feel like as a model you have to have a pretty good sleeping schedule. If he ever has to stay up late because of schooling, that’s inevitable but Shugarl is a workaholic, so staying up late is a constant thing for him.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

I think Arashi is more likely to burn the food than Shugarl is considering he excels in cooking/baking. It’s all a science after all.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

LOL Totally Arashi, and Shugarl stares at it and either goes:

Hmph= I can see what you mean… Is that right? = I don’t agree fully, but it’s alright. [silence, and looks away] = Absolutely not.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

Shugarl prefers his suits and what not and really fashionable clothes just does not appeal to him like why does that have holes? Why does that look like you spilled chlorine on it? No. I don’t really see Arashi wearing Shugarl’s clothes either. Not outside anyways. I can see him just wearing Shugarl’s dress shirts around the condo? Like maybe wears them to sleep.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

Trick question, neither would spend ‘all day’ running errands. I think it sounds more accurate that they spread out their errands over the week. They’re both busy people. You can’t waste a full day. Shugarl does probably try to remind Arashi of things though. I can almost see Arashi forgetting to tell Shugarl something and then trying to speak as if he’s reminding Shugarl but this man aint having that and he goes: ‘First I’ve heard of this. You sure you didn’t forget to tell me the first time around?’ I dunno, but that’s the image I have.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

I feel as though Arashi doesn’t know how to drive because if I recall correctly not too many people in Japan actually own a car? If you don’t, what’s the point of having a license? Shugarl knows how to drive so he’d be the one driving and Arashi could give directions. Though Shugarl is the type to have already done his research so it’s just: “I know where I’m going” and actually knows where he’s going.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

Shugarl draws and Arashi poses like the model that he is.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

This would never happen, but I mean Arashi is pretty athletic, but idk about backflipping through lasers? Shugarl is athletic as well and can certainly do backflips given the martial arts under his belt. So I guess Shugarl would be the one doing the backflips—but I honestly think it would be more like: Arashi just walking around cautiously not knowing that Shugarl already deactivated the lasers so he’s just watching Arashi struggle with a smirk on his face.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

I mean… with Arashi’s bad habits… I can see Shugarl stopping him. The Graduate student is pretty good at pacing himself so it’s very rare when he overdoes it. If he does, Arashi will have to struggle to stop him. He only drinks like that when he’s really upset.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

I honestly think both of them do this. Shugarl would be browsing around, find something and buy it for Arashi. Likely small accessories and the like. A lot of the times he opts for making sweets because he knows Arashi likes sweets. As for Arashi, I feel like I recall it being said that he enjoys buying things for other people? As such I feel like Arashi would enjoy buying small things here and there for Shugarl as well.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

Nope.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

Honestly Arashi will have to be the one to scream. Shugarl Geripeta simply does not scream over a spider. He’ll bring it outside and let it go freely.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

Arashi has shown a bit of clumsy moments, and you know, sometimes you dress for fashion. You don’t think about conventional stuff. I can see Arashi dressing a lil bit too light for the weather and Shugarl giving him his jacket. I imagine that Arashi will feel bad like ‘you’ll get cold, I’m fine’. Shugarl wouldn’t take that though and tell him to wear it and then taking Arashi’s hand, just walk over to a café so they can warm up with some coffee or something for a while. If they’re like out and just sitting around on a bench, then it is the classic ‘just drape the dang thing over both of them!’ trope if Arashi puts up a fight.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

… //Shugarl’s ready to fight Arashi’s older brother--- jk. I somehow doubt that Arashi’s older brother would be threatening Shugarl? I mean you sure can try but it won’t get you anywhere. Shugarl has no older brother (that we know of) so it’s like------ this can’t apply to Arashi.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

I mean. //stares at Arashi straight up being like ‘I’d like to court you’ in canon threads. I think we know the answer here. Shugarl is also an emotional idiot so it’ll take some time for him to admit to it.

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

I mean, Arashi would make a good Mom and Shugarl would be that strict father who will at occasion spoil the life out of his kids. Break any of the house rules and you’ll get a major scolding though.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

I don’t see either of them doing the latter. That’s not happening. If Arashi tried that, Shugarl wouldn’t answer. If Shugarl did that, I’m sure Arashi just squints at the phone like: ‘who is this imposter’?

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

Physically, Shugarl would be more likely to protect Arashi. Crazed fans or whatever. Emotionally, Arashi would be the one that would have to protect Shugarl because certain things can set him off and I don’t think Arashi would let anyone get away with hurting Shugarl emotionally. Shugarl can fend for himself in a physical fight, so I don’t think Arashi really even stands a chance to do anything here.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

I can see Arashi making small puns every once in a while to see if he can get Shugarl to smile. Then realizes ‘duh, of course math puns!!!’ Shugarl appreciates said math puns. Just shakes his head with a small exasperated half-smile. If Arashi gets into the habit of telling many puns, Shugarl would start to tell his own.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

Shugarl, why? Shugarl does not like dogs at all. He’d NEVER bring home a puppy. I can only see Arashi bringing home a puppy if he’s doing a favor for a friend. Even so I don’t think this would happen because Nyanko would not be a happy kitty.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

The idea of Arashi giving Shugarl a piggyback ride honestly scares me. Let’s not. It will be another thing that ruins my lil image of adorable and pretty Arashi. I vote Shugarl spoiling Arashi would result in him giving the tired model a piggyback ride.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

Overzealous cheering? Gotta be Arashi then. Shugarl doesn’t do zealous. He does Jealous, but not zealous.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

I imagine Arashi sleeps on Shugarl’s shoulder often and if he thinks of it, Shugarl would snap a picture, but only of Arashi. That doesn’t really count as a selfie then, does it? If Arashi wakes up to realize Shugarl is sleeping on him, I can so see the model that always has his phone on him to snap a picture or two… or three.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

… LOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLShugarl wouldn’t ask for a makeover ever and Arashi likely wouldn’t ask that of Shugarl who doesn’t really know anything about fashion. Now if makeovers can just stop at clothing, I can see Shugarl allowing Arashi to try to find clothes he’d like to see him try on? Does that count? Though that’s more dress up than a makeover.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

Nope.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

Shugarl is the taller of the two, so it’d be best if he did so. This way he can also ensure that Arashi doesn’t do that thing, the classic: ‘Let me angle the umbrella so you stay very dry while my shoulder gets wet’ kinda thing. He doesn’t know if Arashi would do this, but he’s not taking his chances. Instead, he’ll hold the umbrella and pull the other in close so both stay nice and dry.

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

Arashi would be the one taking lots of pictures, probably asks for a few selfies here and there. I honestly think they’d either go visit Japan or the US for their first vacation because home countries ftw! I think Japan would go first, because Shugarl would be interested in visiting the country his mother was born in. Along the way, he can introduce himself to Arashi’s family. While in Japan, they can visit all kinds of touristy places, maybe even Yumenosaki.

[spudthecat]

My Thoughts on Fran Bow

Where do I begin? Well, I guess let’s start with my overall opinion of the game. A+++!!! I absolutely loved this game, and everything was pinpoint; it all meshed together beautifully to create memorable haunting scenes, characters, and stories. The music, the art style, the gameplay mechanics, the characters, everything. Purrfect!

This game, to me at least, was so damn unique. The main gameplay mechanic, the center focus that set it apart from other similar games (at least to my knowledge), was the Duotine, red pills that allowed Fran to see the Ultrareality. This allowed the puzzles to be even more complex and interesting (thought still not too complex as this is a story-centric game) as every room and area was basically two rooms and you were required to switch to and from the Ultrareality to progress. And even when Fran didn’t have access to Duotine, the game maintained its core mechanic, an example being the season clock in Ithersta where there were FOUR variants of each area, one for each season. Not only did these mechanics add a sense of uniqueness to the game, they also made it all the more ominous, with screams echoing and macabre scenes appearing after Fran would take a Duotine pill.

Now I guess I’ll tackle the characters. I loved them! Well, except the ones I hate (looking at you Dr. Oswald and Aunt Grace). Fran, Mr. Midnight, and Itward are my particular favorites, and it’s so interesting that there’s a lot of allusions to Alice in Wonderland with these characters, Fran, Mr. Midnight, and Itward being Alice, the Cheshire Cat, and the Mad Hatter respectively. I even noticed some Wizard of Oz references in Ithersta, with Fran, Mr. Midnight, and the Great Wizard being well, Dorothy, Toto, and Oz, respectively. Even the overarching goal in Ithersta alluded to the Wizard of Oz. Fran wanted to go home, and in addition, she wanted to be human again (just like how the Tin Man, Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow were seeking human aspects). 

Anyways, I’m getting off topic! Fran was such an adorable, yet at times creepy, character that somehow fit in to all this madness while at the same time was out of place (and I mean that in a good way). We get to know Fran on a personal level since we’re exposed to everything little quirky thing she says when you interact with something and we even get to control some of her actions (which I’m not really sure if they have a long-term impact). By the end of the game, I came to adore Fran and felt like I was on this journey right beside her, so much so that I related to her situation, her madness, sorrow and loneliness. Mr. Midnight was such an adorable kitty! I loved his proper personality, always being polite despite all the horrors going around. He was also your only companion throughout most of the game, the only consistent company Fran had on this adventure, and I don’t think Fran would’ve made it without him. I loved Itward when I immediately heard this theme! It fit him perfectly. And I loved how badly the game tried to make you think Itward was going to harm Fran, but he never did. He was one of her closest allies. I loved and really related to his eccentricity, and I really enjoyed his gentlemanly attitude. It was kinda surprising to learn that he came from the Fourth Reality, the reality of death, though I suppose death is not necessarily an evil idea. It is but natural. Now, I would write more about these characters, but this is already getting too long.

The music for this game, although simple, was phenomenal! It masterfully set the mood with each provoking an emotional response from me, a tinge of sadness, a sigh of relief and safety, a fearful and anxious squeal, and so on. The music really stuck with me, and I mean all of it, including the minigames’ music, which are actually pretty good in and of themselves. Like, I really don’t know what else to say here. The music was just fantastic, and each piece was memorable and some of them were just so damn peaceful that I could fall asleep to them. A++!

I guess one last thing before I end this monster of a post is something that I’m still struggling with to figure out. Was any of this real? Did any of it really happen? Was Itward real? Was Remor real? Is Mr. Midnight dead? Was this just all within the maddened mind of Fran? Was she laying in a bed in an asylum the entire time? Idk, and I like that I don’t know. I’m glad that the ending was really ambiguous as providing too many answers would’ve ruined the ominous feeling of the game. The game is based in supernatural worlds with supernatural elements so an ambiguous ending makes sense, as not everything can readily be explained. In addition, throughout the game, Fran is seeking the truth behind, well, a lot of stuff, though mainly why her parents were murdered, and despite a shocking reveal, it’s still unclear if that’s what really happened. There’s multiple stories and theories here, and that’s a part of the charm of the game. I guess we can’t stop seeking the truth, cause when we do stop...what’s the point of well, anything I guess?

In the end, I for one, would like to adventure through the Five Realities of Essential Existence and the Ultrareality, a macabre journey that I would fear and enjoy at the same time, a thrilling experience to remember for the rest of my life.