#idk why ‘lady’ gets to me more than other terms that misgender me but i have the most physical reaction to it

[ofalltheginjoints]

🙃.

[onlycertainty-archive]

so this is my headcanon and thoughts on Mark Read’s first husband that he owned the inn with. first and foremost there is a tw content warning. tw/misgendering tw/cisnormativity tw/general content warning tw/emotional abuse (copied and pasted from my talk with @thatonecripple )

Like the good part about it is why Mark stayed but I feel like by the end of it mark will be completely aware that the way he loved him wasn’t the same mutually So with that said - We consider the mind set of the times- the whole bit as Karliene said in that song ‘men make knives and women make wives.’(Which forgive me for saying) And the English - are the first and foremost who would enforce that concept (you know General society of the English, Christian. White, straight = society required ideals) (Which isn’t to say that is how it is, just that - you know 17th, 18th century blah. Blah)

So with that said, we can easily assume that these ideals are somewhat integrated into the first husband. But it’s also in a level where’s a LITTLE more open minded because well- he and Mark got married. I’m guessing that they got real close, and Mark had crushed for a long while before revealing his secret, because this thing takes trust to confide with. And considering that said husband didn’t reveal him or mutter a thing till they were married says something about character so that’s all the room I’m going to give this mystery man. So it proves to me, that he may have been a little lenient and a little more accepting of a “”lady with a sword”” to the point where he didn’t ned stark his secret up. You know? (Course when I say ned stark I mean ‘lol I know your biggest secret Ima tell everyone ‘)

(And I say the term lady loosely on wording his mind set in the matter ) (Anne Bonny, is an example, of a lass with a sword, I don’t like the misgendering and I’m apologizing right now for it)

So. Considering that Mark took on the role of ”wife” when they married (I.e wore a dress, took on his dead name.) it wasn’t- good for his mindset because he probably felt like he has to do it to keep his husband happy. And considering said husband never - idk- encouraged Mark to keep living as himself. He treated Mark as if this was an obligation rather than let him be himself. 

They owned an inn together and Mark enjoyed the good parts of it, enjoyed the man himself, enjoyed being part business owner. But - there were other things that could not by any means be ignored.

1) the feelings of being- wrong in a daily basis. The massive dysphoria that would accompany every second- he ignored it of course, because it’s for the sake of his husband. The unimaginable suffocating it would cause that, I, ooc could never imagine. Feeling like his very skin needs to be ripped off, but he smiles through it because he loves this man despite feeling pins and needles on the edges of his skin. Why? Because somewhat eh- marriages start off with that dream state before descending into - the not-so-good

2) it’s probably hush hush how they truly met because the guy doesn’t want people to know he ‘served next to’ him in that manner. In fact I could see him telling Mark to change the story later when they’re talking to acquaintances from ‘serving together’ to Mark simply being employed with the ship and fell in love with a soldier

3) it slowly starts descending into Mark realizing that his husband doesn’t love him unless he’s playing into the role assigned by society

4) it probably led to some intensive moments because he’d start outright saying things like ‘know your place ‘

5) said moments ^^ will be small things like Mark commenting on politics, speaking up at parties, taking charge in his ownership of the inn,

6) he can probably shoot and swing a sword better than his husband so we imagine how that goes about. I also imagine a moment they’re having a shooting contest and Mark is rolling his eyes cause none of them can shoot worth a damn and he’s like ‘give me that’ and shoots all the targets and the men get all jolly like they’ve seen a joke and go ‘my god man I didn’t know you taught your wife to handle a pistol.’ And the husband is like ‘....... yes.... we are all full of surprises.’

7) people probably pass him up looking to do business via inn and won’t talk to him, or talk right over him. ‘Where is your man? I need to discuss business.’ -‘I own the inn too. what can i help you with?’- ‘............ anyway where is your man.’

8) while mark loved him, he realizes that it’s not mutual , Mark loves him enough to give up parts of his literal self, and loves him entirely while said husband does not.

9) mark probably kills him. His death was recorded as ‘sudden’ and mark sold the inn and went back into the navy after it just quick. Coincidence? I think not

[fluidforthought]

The Gender Tag

I thought this could be fun.  I know, I know I am really late to the party... but that’s ok :).  I’ve only just begun to dive into gender so this is all new to me and I’m excited so let’s do this!

Q. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?

A.  I would identify as genderfluid, but also have just become aware of the term transmasculine.  Genderfluid means, to me, that I fluctuate between the opposite ends of the gender spectrum.  One day I feel far more masculine but I don’t have a problem with looking beautiful as a women either.  This is where the term transmasculine might serve more purpose for me.  However, right now in this moment I prefer to masculinize myself over feminize.  I am much more overall comfortable and confident with myself when I present more masculine despite being born a female.  

Q.  What pronouns honor you?

A.  This is tough for me right now.  I would say I prefer either she/her or he/him over they/them.  For me personally they/them feels impersonal.  I have not asked anyone to change or use he/him when referring to me but I often refer to myself as he/him (I tend to use words like boi and bro when referring to myself.  I don’t feel that right now it is a big problem for others to continue with she/her.  I do not like being called a woman though, I don’t like the word woman, and I can’t explain why.  That being said I don’t know that I want to be called a man either.  This is obviously something I am still trying to work through myself, so what a long answer.  In a perfect world it would be cool if everyone could tell what gender I was representing on any given day and choose the appropriate pronouns, but they aren’t a huge deal to me.  Right now anyway.  

Q.  Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. 

A.  T-shirts and jeans or shorts, tennis shoes.  I’m in the process of amping up my wardrobe to fit what I see in my head.  I’ve been wearing bro tanks and khaki colored knee length shorts for the summer, some casual dude shoes or flip flops from the guys section.  I’ve realized how much I love bow ties and neckties and have begun a collection of them, and would like to grow my button up shirt collection.  I bought some very sleek men’s dress shoes too.  I want my clothing to be the definition of dapper.  Gentlemanly.  

Q.  Body hair... how do you style your hair, do you have facial hair, and what do you choose to shave and not to shave? 

A.  Right now my hair on my head is tall on top and shorter on the sides.  I’m trying to figure out how I want to deal with it haha.  I either just toss a hat on my head or comb it over and throw some Old Spice Fiberwax in it to add volume.  

I don’t have facial hair because, well, none grows there.  I wonder if I would look cool with a beard?  Idk, I have never thought about that... but I’d need some help from T for that.  

I like to have clean shaven legs and armpits.  I’ve tried growing both out but I just get so uncomfortable and itchy, I can’t get myself past the itchy stage.  I’ve always liked the idea of being able to be more free with that but the discomfort is too much for me to handle.  I don’t shave above my knee though, and that means I don’t shave my junk.  I remember trying to shave that area when it first started to grow but, I hated it so I just let it go.  Needless to say it's probably been 8-10 years since I’ve done anything with that.

Q.  Do you choose to wear makeup?  Paint your nails?  What types of soaps and perfumes do you use?

A.  I didn’t wear makeup until I came to college.  I finally starting learning my freshman year and tried to wear it as expected.  But I hated how dirty in made my skin feel.  How cakey and greasy.  And there is a particular smell to a full face of makeup that I just hate.  So gradually I quite and now four years later I am back to not really ever reaching for makeup.  I take pride in the fact that I am comfortable without it.  Occasionally I like to dabble with it though, it’s a fun hobby but not a necessity.  

I don’t paint my nails any more either.  I used to a lot but it was so much work that never lasted long enough for it to be worth it.  So now I am in love with my natural nails and I have a hard time thinking about painting over them, they are healthy, no need to change them.

I’ve switched to men’s soap in the shower, a matter of fact I made the bold switch to cheap 3-in-1 soap so I don’t even buy shampoo and conditioner and body soap any more, I just use all the same stuff from one bottle. I do have a wide selection of perfumes as I wen t through a bath and body perfume phase a coupe of years ago but have faded out the use of those over time too.  I bought a cologne that I wear on “special” occasions, and I tend to use men’s deodorant (IT WORKS BETTER, and smells tasty too). 

Q.  Have you experienced being misgendered?  If so how often?

A.  I experienced this for the first time about two weeks ago!  I wear swim trunks and a tank to the pool and I was climbing out of the pool and a guy was walking past and he nodded and said “what’s up man?” This caught me off guard but I kind of liked it.  Because he perceived me as a male instead of a female which has never happened before, which means I was passing as I was expressing to an extent and that was a really epic feeling.  A little kid once called me sir due to my short hair but his mom was quick to correct him saying that I was a lady.  I didn’t like that.  

Q.  Do you experience dysphoria?  How does that affect you?  

A.  I wouldn’t say I really experience dysphoria.  But I do experience a lot of euphoria.  When I am going about my life as a female I don’t excessively hate any of my parts.  I don’t experience feeling disconnected with my anatomy.  However, when I pack, I feel absolutely on top of this world.  I am far more confident in myself and more courageous.  And it has only been the last couple of months where when I am packing I wish so badly that I had a binder, to simply complete the feeling, the whole desired expression.  But when I don’t pack I don’t feel any less than I am which I am very thankful for.  

Q.  Children, are you interested?  Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you?  Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have? 

A.  Children is the hardest question ever!!  I still feel confused about whether or not I want them.  I’ve always felt like I would want to carry a baby, to experience that intense connection with a human being for 9 months, I’ve always thought that I would like to understand what it is like to be pregnant.  But I’ve never really seen myself keeping it (like maybe I carried it as a surrogate or something).  I’ve never felt very comfortable around kids, I don’t know how to act or talk or simply be with kids without feeling an insane amount of awkward.  I don’t know why this is the case I have four younger siblings I should be comfortable.  

I don’t think I would resent having a kid if it happened, especially if it was with a long term partner, the thought of a small family is something I have always loved but just never decided if it was really what I want.  Maybe fur babies??? ;)

If I did have my own kids of course I would want to be the primary caretaker, well me and my partner together.  I would want to be able to support them and love them and teach them and watch them grow everyday.

Q.  Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one?  Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have?  Do you prefer to pay for things like dates?  Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you? 

A.  Money isn’t as important to me as it probably should be.  I have always wanted to put love first.  I believe that with love, you have everything.  But if I did have a family absolutely I would want to be able to provide for them.  I would want to be able to spoil them and surprise them.  I would want to be able to set up autopay for my bills because I had money left over every month and never have to worry about waiting for the next paycheck before I could pay the electric bill.  

I don’t care who makes more money, that shouldn’t matter, setting unfair pay based on gender aside...  I don’t like that competition.  

I wouldn’t say I prefer to pay for dates, I like to take turns.  If the date was my idea I pay, your idea?  You pay.  Evening stuff like that out I think is important.  And yes I am uncomfortable when someone offers to pay for me, and that goes for EVERYONE,  even my grandparents.  I want to pay sometimes, again, let’s even things out.  I always feel obligated to pay back.  

Q.  Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?

A.  I didn’t even realize I needed to step back and look at gender until a year and a half ago.  And now that I have, I fell so proud of myself.  I’ve made baby steps to feeling more comfortable in my own skin.  I have realized that I don’t need to be so concerned with what others think, I am me and that is truly all that matters.  I have never felt so confident.  I am talking to strangers, I’m sharing love with people when I used to feel the need to bottle it up and save for very specific people.  But everyone is deserving of love.  

I keep saying I feel my heart has grown three sizes sense I started looking at my gender.  I feel more open and accepting than I ever have before and that is liberating.  I’m sharing more and more of myself with people when I’ve always been so, so shy and quiet.  I’m letting people in and I’m allowing myself to form in the public eye and I’ve just never felt so excited!

I’ve realized that I simply want to be a gentleman, so that is just what I will be.  

[margridarnauds]

laz and solene pls

THANKS FOR MY LIFE AVERY

Lazare

Sexuality Headcanon: GAY GAY GAY. I mean, the man has a RAINBOW across his crotch at one point. (Now, you could argue that it was a trick of the lighting, but come on. We know the truth.) Possibly with a side of demi, since I really don’t think that he really has any interest in sex until Ronan comes into his life, despite having a longtime (unfortunate and unrequited) crush on Artois and I genuinely can’t see him, say, going to a brothel or even having an affair with another officer or a soldier. I just think the man, with one, single exception, is more or less completely married to his job, and given the emphasis in army training on avoiding libertinism, the idea that “vices” weren’t inherent and could be stomped out, and my own headcanons as far as his family history...it ain’t gonna happen no matter what. Like, there are probably ongoing challenges in court as to who can successfully get the D, with no one being successful. (This has led to a number of young ladies swarming him at any given function in the hopes that they’ll be the one to melt his brooding heart.) In some AUs, like the Polyam AU, he’s obviously bi, but that’s the odd one out on multiple levels and is one of the few I’d really put into its own continuity (Come on, it acknowledges R/O, for God’s sake.) Asexual homoromantic Laz is also Very Important to me, with him trying to deal with everything because Ronan unleashes SQUISHY FEELINGS in him but he still doesn’t feel any sexual attraction towards him, though he’s not 100% opposed to sex in principle, and Ronan taking it personally because it’s Ronan and, in all fairness, it’s not like they have pamphlets on asexuality in the 18th century, though eventually they decide to navigate it in a way that makes them both happy.

Gender Headcanon: Generally, I write him as more or less cis, but trans Laz has a very, very special place in my heart since it puts his need to conform to society in an entirely different light. Like, it could be a Lady Oscar-esque situation where he’s an only child and Mama Peyrol and Papa de Peyrol (mainly Mama de Peyrol because *someone* is probably either in a brothel or on campaign WHOOPS) get worried and just...straight up raise him as a guy from the time he’s about 4-5 years old and he’s okay with it because, well, he is a guy and he’s happy that they finally notice that (and since boys habitually wore dresses until about the age of 7 when they had their breeching, this wouldn’t even be a Major Deal and they could probably come up with some bullshit reason for why they’d had a daughter baptized but now have a healthy son. Or if not, they just, like, bribe the local priest. Because they’re aristocrats and can afford to do shit like that). Then Papa de Peyrol dies, Grandpapa de Fuck comes into play, and it becomes more of a Thing, with always Upholding the De Peyrol Name and Fulfilling His Duty becoming the focus rather than, idk, raising a well-adjusted kid. Like, he gets some points for not misgendering him, but on every other level? Dude’s still an asshole. Because he’s Grandpapa de Fuck.

Laz is taught that he has to be the best grandson and heir that he can be, that no one can ever have a suspicion about him, which also becomes a bit of a strain as the pressure to marry looms in the future and Grandpapa de Fuck dies without even being useful. (Typical). And so Laz tries very, very hard to conform, to not so much as bend a single rule, to be the perfect military man. He gets this reputation for being standoffish from the time he’s a young officer, about the age of 14, never really interacting with the other men, even changing his clothes in secret, always sleeping on his own when he has the opportunity to, and, despite the other officer’s best efforts, never going into a brothel or having an affair no matter how many bets they make among themselves. Until one day some reckless peasant boy charges into his life and Laz really, really tries to fight it because this could ruin EVERYTHING but. It’s Ronan. Ronan’s persistent. And also an oblivious toenail so it takes a little while to get it through his head that, no, Laz is still a man and Ronan’s STILL gay AF. (Sorry, Ronan, you can’t no-homo your way out of this one. Full homo. All the homo.)

A ship I have with said character: R/L is pretty much my be all, end all for Laz, though I also can and do ship O/L and R/O/L.

A BROTP I have with said character: Poor Laz in canon doesn’t really have any friends that we see, unless you count the one time he and Artois conspire. (I don’t.) Even though I tend to have his troops shipping Laz/Ronan, that’s out of selfishness as much as anything else (if he’s getting laid, he might not be so snappish.) In the Abomination (which...obviously doesn’t go with the whole “Peyrol wanting to fire on him”...thing from the Zuka version), I like the dynamic between Laz and Papa du Puget, where you have the latter really helping him out in terms of figuring out where he is in terms of his relationship with Ronan and getting his sense of individuality back. Like, it shouldn’t require a neon sign to say “Hey, maybe not having anything to do with your boyfriend except for when you have sex might be part of the reason why he’s not speaking to you right now, maybe cuddle with him?” but Laz is new to this, doesn’t exactly have a roadmap, and thinks that his relationship with Ronan can be neatly packaged into his schedule. Which...surprise, it can’t be. Since du Puget is also very much a man of the Enlightenment with a HUGE library to match it (really, we know this, because when the Bastille fell he demanded compensation for it), if anyone can help Laz get grounded again, it’s him. And, since Laz is about 24-ish in the Abomination, he’s the perfect age to be Du Puget’s son (with Olympe being about 19), which adds an extra dimension as du Puget (my very, very specific version of him modeled after the historical figure) really mirrors Laz’s father in a lot of ways, from his friendship with de Sade (who Laz *loathes*) to his military career and his habit of occasionally having affairs. (Which is pretty shitty, but not unexpected given the times.) The difference is, du Puget really does get the opportunity to do what Papa de Peyrol never could: Do his best to protect Lazare from Grandpapa de Fuck’s influence, even if the damage has already been mostly done, as well as ultimately give up his career and his post for his family. (For what it’s worth, I tend to headcanon Papa de Peyrol as a wannabe Validad who was just...flawed in his implementation of it. Like, my take on him is this guy who would always bring back his son toys and souvenirs from his campaign, tell him stories when he tucked him into bed, etc., but whose own weaknesses ultimately still led to his death and his widow being left absolutely destitute to the point where she had to make a deal with Grandpapa de Fuck. Because it’s the 18th century and life’s a bitch, especially if you’re a widow with weakened financial prospects and a young child and your father in law is convinced your kid is his second chance from God.)

A NOTP I have with said character: Generally, I’d say Artois/Laz in anything that’s not set pre-canon given that, for all it could be interesting in a fucked up way, there’s no way it’ll end up well for Laz, but I have also seen Danton/Laz and it scarred me deeply. Salieri/Laz is something I’ve also seen a bit, which I don’t *get* because any time they would have met it’d be like: *gay staring*

*gay staring*

*gay panic*

*gay panic*

And then both of them rushing over to their extroverted boyfriends. If anything, I could only really see the two of them bonding over having absolutely ridiculous boyfriends (and, if it gets to postcanon for both, bonding over WHOOPS I ACCIDENTALLY KILLED MY BOYFRIEND).  

A random headcanon: Oh God, pretty much everything I have on him is a headcanon. Like, even the things I take for granted on him (like Sugardaddy!Laz) are headcanons. The man is one massive, walking headcanon because no one in the writer’s room wanted to sit down and work on their contract cop-out; they were just like “fuck, let him keep Maniaque. And give him this new song. And a bit in the opening, where he demonstrates the beginning of his homoerotic tension lifelong hatred with the lead. That’s good, right?”

Laz always liked music growing up; he liked how steady the beats were, he liked the smooth texture of the harpsichord keys, he liked his mother sometimes sitting him on her knee and gently moving his fingers over the right keys, he liked the way he could channel himself into the music. Communication was hard, mired in social niceties that he didn’t always understand, things that the adults treated like they were life and death, but music was simple. Hitting the key one place produced one sound, hitting it in another produced another, every time. When his father was at home, he would sit in the drawing room and listen to the two of them play, applauding at the right moments and praising Lazare enthusiastically. This was the first time young Lazare tasted success and praise, and he basked in it. By the time his father died, when was about seven or eight, he was quite good at it in his own right.

Obviously, since this was a bright, happy period in Lazare’s life, guess what Grandpapa de Fuck did? Yep, it went out the window. A man, Grandpapa de Fuck believed, could only ever be talented at one thing, barring some few geniuses (with his grandson not being among them), and Lazare was going to be a soldier. Everything else was going to go. As with most things relating to his childhood that his grandfather robbed him of, he chose to convince himself that it had been a childish indulgence. He still felt the music, though, in the steady rhythm of soldier’s boots and the beat of the regimental drum, but he could only direct it now, never play it for himself. Once, when he was a young officer being used by enthralled with the Comte d’Artois, the latter took him to a performance of an opera, chastising him when he noticed the way Lazare’s hands moved throughout the performance. Lazare buried it even further, not even talking about it when it could be avoided, much less consuming it.

Then, Ronan comes into his life. And Ronan’s not a music critic; the most he knows are the peasant songs they played at festivals or sang as together in the winter months when things looked bleak and they had little else to do. He probably doesn’t know the difference between a harpsichord and a piano, just that they’re Rich People’s Instruments. But, despite everything else, despite the hard time he gives Peyrol for it at first, he ends up egging him into taking classes again because, Hell, it’s something besides homicide that makes Laz happy and, for all of their differences as a couple, Ronan wants him to be happy. And it’s frustrating, because he should know how to do this; for so long everything in his life has been something that he already knew and could predict and, with this, he can hear his failure. There are many times that he takes his anger out on the keys or scatters the sheet music around. But, over time, he feels himself improving, the keys start to become old friends to him, and, gradually, he starts to play again. And it’s not like it was when he was a child, there is no audience eager to praise him, but, sometimes during a late practice session, Ronan will come over from behind (with some amount of warning, since approaching the experienced army officer from behind tends to have unforeseen consequences), drowsily nuzzle into Laz’s neck, and it’s just as good. (Also, he probably reaches around to play a few notes of “Ah, Ca Ira” or “La Marseillaise” while Laz is briefly distracted because Ronan Mazurier is, first and foremost, a little shit). (Also, they totally bang on the harpsichord at one point.)

General Opinion over said character: MY SON. My useless, emotionally repressed, gay, homicidal, aristocratic son who needs to have some sense knocked in his head but is trying his best and is quite possibly the only officer in Paris who is actually doing his job. Deserves more screentime and/or cuddles from his boyfriend who is STILL ALIVE, thank you very much, if and when he gets into the position when he’ll accept them. I wish he got something resembling character development or an arc, but HE’S MINE NOW. (And, tbh, I’m a little worried that it’ll be a monkey’s paw type situation with him getting more time. Like, I’m fully prepared to sell my soul to the Toho production, but I’m also preparing myself to see a much darker take on my son than I’m used to. Including when it comes to Ronan. And that might be a bitter pill to swallow.) Even though I love all my sons equally, I prefer the opportunity for nuance that original!Laz afffords (and the amount of Done he seems to be most of the time), as the other two lean a little more towards sadistic (though sex dungeon Laz is too good for me to pass up entirely). Also, I still hold Toho!Laz as an ideal faceclaim for Grandpapa de Fuck. 

Someone please save him. I would, but I’m too busy tossing him into the Seine atm.

Solene

Sexuality Headcanon: Solene’s sexuality has always been tricky for me because bisexual Solene is very near and dear to my heart (ONE OF US, ONE OF US), but I could also make an argument for lesbian Solene who separates her working life from her private life. In another universe, she very likely would have ended up with a man no matter what, I’m not sure if she’d have been entirely content, but she probably wouldn’t have questioned it so long as she was decently secure and well-cared for, like most WLW throughout history probably did. Even in canon, I could see her taking up with a man (like in the Zuka and Toho versions where she and Danton have a longer term “relationship”), because it’s a means of security + stability so long as he’s not some abusive assfuck who thinks that he owns her, but as far as actual trust and companionship are concerned? I can only really see it with women, which makes sense when you consider how closely tied Solene really is to women, especially in the French and Toho versions where she’s got “Je Veux le Monde” which is literally her belting out about how awesome women are and how men (specifically Ronan) are too blinded by their own ambition and bloodlust + the fact that we always see her surrounded by the other women, during La Nuit M’Appelle, Je Veux le Monde, and Fixe.

Gender Headcanon: She’s most likely a cis woman. Je Veux le Monde has a great emphasis on childbirth, etc. associated with that, though I could also roll with a significant portion of that being her taking power in her own terms, using the only language she knows, like she also seems to be doing in La Nuit, while still perhaps being a little unhappy with the way gender identity is dealt with in 18th century French society. 

A ship I have with said character: Solene/Olympe. Like...was there any doubt?

“Oh, I think Peyronan’s my OTP and I can’t wait to work on all my fanfiction for them!” *Accidentally writes Solympe fic after Solympe fic*

“How did THAT happen?”

I mean, it does help that they aren’t at each other’s throats for the early part of their relationship, unlike SOME PEOPLE.

In all honesty, given how little Solene actually gets to do, there’s really not all that much room for shipping, save with the women around her and Lucille in the Zuka version. Which is an option, definitely, given that they “become friends” BUT.

A BROTP I have with said character: Despite headcanoning Solene as one of a VERY small number of people who can genuinely scare Laz, I do like to imagine the two of them bonding over Ronan’s more ridiculous moments. Like, at first she’s pissed as HELL at him for obvious reasons, but it also becomes a matter of “What did he do this time?” “He told me that my chess set was royalist propaganda. Then he jumped out the window. I have yet to try to retrieve him” “*Sigh* Let me talk to him.” And, in the Abominationverse, with the advent of the twins, Uncle Lazare is the nearest thing they have to a responsible adult when Solene and Olympe want to have a date night and Olympe’s parents are otherwise occupied, and since the children are already strangely drawn to him, well...there are worse babysitters, especially during the period of time when Ronan is off playing Hero of the Revolution and the twins are the only thing Laz really has to keep his mind off of him.

A NOTP I have with said character: Solene/Danton as a ship somewhat creeps me out, given that (1) He still has the ability to throw her out on the street with nothing and (2) ...Historically, we know how this one’s going to work out. Danton’s married, eventually he’s going to marry a fifteen year old a couple of weeks after his wife dies, and then he gets fucking guillotined. There is no way Solene doesn’t get fucked over AGAIN in this one. (Also, I just...don’t see them as a romantic couple. He was a customer, they did the do, Ronan was SUPER pissed about it and Danton’s probably forever on his shit list for it, but still. It wasn’t a *romance* for her. It was food for the day. It was part of her rent for the month.)

A random headcanon: The pink ring that Solene wears in the “Je Veux le Monde” music video (and, seemingly, in the showcase video) belonged to her mother. When Mama Mazurier realized she wasn’t going to survive her last birth, when Solene was probably about 5-7, she pressed it deep into the girl’s hand, as if hoping that she could press the ring into her memory as well. It was the last movement she would make in this life. As time went on, the taxes mounted up as one disaster after another seemed to befall the family. They sold off whatever they could, with the ring being one of the few things that remained. (And it got to the point where their debt was so high that, really, selling the ring wouldn’t have helped in the long run, and so Papa Mazurier decided that at least Solene could have it, nearly crying for the first time in front of his children when she offered it to him once before firmly putting it back on her finger). She briefly considered selling it off when she got to Paris, to the point where she had it in the palm of her hand, ready to sell to a street vendor before she decided that it wasn’t worth it, feeling the sharp press of metal when she clasped it hard. When Ronan later told her, “When people lose their dignity, it’s the end,” he didn’t know what she’d done to avoid doing just that. Ronan, as always, saw only what she’d lost, rather than what she’d kept.

Also, since I’m just returning home from the angst wars with Laz and he got a nice, long headcanon, Papa Mazurier loved both of his children equally. Really, he did. He was a true validad, which is also why he had to die. But, looking back, Ronan always felt a little bit like he was the least favorite of the two of them, because it seemed like, generally, Solene tended to get what she wanted more. In reality, though, as Solene would later tell Ronan when he, Olympe, Lazare, and her were sitting down together, it was really just that she knew how to ask for things tactfully, including when to wait, whereas Ronan went in guns blazing. Solene learned how to play the long game, and it paid off. (Also, even though she was initially pissed off over her brother screwing their father’s murderer after abandoning her to pursue a half-baked revenge plot, she is also personally amazed at the fact that, not only did Ronan get a gig that her and most of her friends DREAMED of, a furnished apartment with a faithful, devoted, aristocratic lover who is willing to buy him anything he asks for, not the least well-tailored outfits, he did it accidentally. By continuously insulting him. In prison. If Ronan ever screws this up, Solene is going to personally kill him. And then kick Laz’s ass because Ronan is still her brother dammit.)

General Opinion over said character: Hello, continuing evidence of my bisexuality. The Superior Mazurier Sibling, AKA THE ONE WHO ACTUALLY HAS SOME COMMON SENSE. Deserved better writing, hot cocoa, and to have seen Olympe at least one time that wasn’t over her brother’s corpse. She is one of the few things I think the French cast did best with, since later productions really tried to sanitize her, though I love Zuka!Solene directly calling out Ronan in La Nuit m’Appelle. LET HER HAVE A PLOTLINE DAMMIT. Also: WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T WE GET HER SHOWCASE COSTUME?  (Also, Matthieu Carnot would have rocked as her sibling, just saying.) I just...have many emotions about Solene Mazurier and what she deserves and what she got and I will never forgive the show for skimping on her storyline the entire time and then having the last thing we see of her being her crying her eyes out over the brother who abandoned her (and, okay, in other productions, they reconcile, but it doesn’t ACHIEVE anything between the two of them and it’s mainly Solene reaching out to him whereas I want him groveling). It’s a good thing she hooks up with his beard after his funeral, otherwise the angst and overall incomplete nature of her arc might be too much to bear. 

[princegabriel]

Dear Rule 63 Writer

Welcome to the party, pal!

For this particular exchange, since I’ve been fortunate lately to have found and consumed media that mostly has gender dynamics I like, I’m mostly interested in seeing “the further adventures of character A and character B” except that one or both of them has a different gender. Doesn’t mean I don’t think anything would change about them, and I don’t mean to stifle your creativity, it’s just that there’s no specific Thing I want to see w/r/t gender. 

Here are some general things I really like:

Matter-of-fact declarations of love/friendship.

People being productive while pining–either acknowledging their feelings but realizing they still have important things to do, or straight up burying the feelings in work.

Women And Nonbinary People Getting Stuff Done

Fake dating

Black comedy

Silly comedy and bad puns

Conversely, people being very extra and having THE MOST feelings, in the style of 19th century romance

Stories where STUFF happens due mostly to people just being people

Places with secrets

Game narratives, as in, the MC(s) are playing some kind of immersive, fantastical, high-stakes game. See: The Game of Sunken Places, Doctor Who: The Ghost Monument. IDK how that would apply here, but they are neat and if you come up with a concept that you think would work, I bet it would be cool!

I know I didn’t put this in my sign-up, but here are some general DNWs:

Rape/dubcon/torture porn

Major character death

Tooth injuries

Misgendering

Characters’ defining characteristic being “in love with this person”

Unrequested non canonical ships

Diet talk

A/B/O dynamics

Any bodily waste products being used for sex

Unrequested AUs

Now for the specifics:

1. The Magnus Archives

Rating: G-M

Ships: F!Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Sasha James/F!Tim Stoker, F!Robert Montauk & Julia Montauk, F!Michael "Mike" Crew & Jude Perry, F!Adelard Dekker/Gertrude Robinson, F!Trevor Herbert & Julia Montauk

I love Gertrude Robinson very much. She’s a stone-cold badass and I love how straightforward she is when it comes to resolving some problems (just blow up the building where the ritual is, duh) and how sneaky her approach is to other problems (”why the tape recorders, you ask? well, I'm just an old-fashioned lady, haha!”). 

I’m a big fan of her mentorship with Gerry, and how she is explicitly not a mother figure. Like she has more experience and Gerry is a baby but they’re colleagues, really. I wouldn’t mind Gerry having some complicated feelings regarding Gertrude as a surrogate parental figure, though. I love Gerry being whip-smart and capable but still lacking in things that come from a healthy upbringing (you know, where one of your parents doesn’t murder the other and then recruit you into their spooky magic plots).

I’ve chosen to extrapolate from the bits and pieces we get that Gertrude and Adelard are the kind of close friends where even if they don’t speak for years they know where they stand with each other and can pick right back up. Of course, we also know that Gertrude didn’t let very many people get close to her, so there’s a pretty wide spectrum of possibility in there. In the case of a romantic relationship, I think Gertrude would not really want to talk about it while Adelard would. I also like how Adelard is characterized as terse and efficient in the “Distant Cousin” episode but more poetic in letters and statements to Gertrude. 

Sasha/Tim is just cute. I’d love to read more of their banter, maybe see them working closely together while researching a statement, or see what they’re like outside of work. I’d rather this be set during season 1 or earlier, or have an AU where Sasha doesn’t get got by the Not-Them. There are some lovely fics where Tim is trying to figure out how accurate his memories of Sasha really are, but they are very sad and I can’t read them all the time.

Oohoohoo, Julia Montauk. I love Julia Montauk. She goes from having a seemingly normal childhood to her mom disappearing, but that’s okay because her remaining parent takes good care of her, then that rug gets pulled out from under her, and everything is wrong. And she really tries to be normal, and then Trevor saves her and not only is normal not really an option any more, weird and horrible is so much more fulfilling. 

I’m not a big serial killer fan, but Robert Montauk is just trying to keep Julia safe in a world that is so much worse. How do you do that, how do you kill that many people, after losing your wife, and still come home to your kid and make sure she’s safe and happy and has no idea what you do when you say you’re going to work?

And then there’s Trevor Herbert—homeless, recovering from addiction, and risking incarceration and worse because there are things out there that people don’t understand that can and will kill them. Trevor Herbert, who saves and inadvertently adopts an adult to form a little monster-killer family.

Mike Crew and Jude Perry: I just really like the idea of their being buds and hanging out or comparing stories of tormenting innocent people. Or maybe they have a weird symbiotic relationship—how do the Desolation and the Vast relate to each other? Are they rivals? Or do they have their own (Leitner) book club?

In terms of changing names, the only one I’d feel super weird about keeping the same is Robert—could be shortened or turned into Roberta, whatever works.

2. The Penumbra Podcast

Ah yes, my one-stop gender shop. I love the way this show approaches gender and sexuality, that even if characters don’t spell out theirs (which I think only happens once, with Jet), we can usually assume they’re not both straight and cis. Also, despite the show being a noir/scifi story set hundreds of years in the future, it feels very realistic w/r/t identity and personal interactions. Fandom-specific DNW: coming out. One of my favorite things about Penumbra is that everyone just knows everyone else’s pronouns. It’s not that people can’t or don’t realize their gender identity or sexuality later in life—they do even in the show, it’s just that I like the way canon covers it so much that I’m all set.

Rating: G-M

Ships: Juno Steel & NB!Rita, Buddy Aurinko & F!Jet Sikuliaq, F!Peter Nureyev/F!Juno Steel

I love Juno’s and Rita’s friendship so much. Would love to see them working together, especially after the events of Soul of the People, when Juno finally, explicitly starts treating her better. I love seeing characters getting to exercise their competence, so Rita’s hacking combined with Juno’s detective skills: *chef’s kiss.* Are they solving a case? Are they working a heist? Is it a heist that turns into a case?? Alternately, maybe they’re just hanging out. Juno needs a better work/life balance, and Rita’s a lot better at that. 

Buddy and Jet are also very much friendship goals. I love how Jet has Buddy’s back no matter what, which definitely includes calling her out when she’s doing something destructive, and Buddy loves and appreciates Jet for that. They know each other and accept each other, but they also grow and change together. Meeting when they were both in a really unsteady place could have helped that. I’d love to see one of them comforting the other during a difficult time, or doing a job together either before or during season 3.

Peter/Juno: I mean. This is my jam. Maybe something set during season 1 that plays up the thief/detective dynamic? Maybe something set during season 3 when they’re trying to navigate their relationship in a healthy way when they’re both simultaneously terrified and also just want to make out already? Pairing specific DNW: please please please no Peter alone in the hotel room at the end of or just after Final Resting Place.

Rating E:

Peter/Juno: I mean. This is my jam. Everything above applies here. Smut likes: praise kink, frottage, masturbation, phone sex, teasing, edging, sex when the characters are def supposed to be doing something else, sex in public places where other people probably can’t actually see them but it *feels* risqué.

3. Wolf 359

Ship: F!Daniel Jacobi/F!Warren Kepler

GOOD SHIP. The trust. The loyalty. The King Lear quote when they meet! I love the rare occasion when Kepler lets Jacobi in. I love how they try to let each other know how they feel through actions rather than words. I’d love another time-out from the job like in Mission Mishaps: No Complaints, or a high-stakes situation where they have to defuse a bomb or blow something up, or something in between.

Thanks for writing for me! I hope you have fun with this!

[queer-babe-5000]

So my gender identity is in constant flux leading me to have a bit of an ‘imposter syndrome’ complex when it comes to my gender. I’ve been actively questioning my gender identity for about 2 years now maybe more. 

When I tried to talk about it with my mum a long time ago she got upset, and told me all of my feelings was normal cis people stuff, and not to get caught up in the trend of being non-binary- that just because its a hot topic in the media and I don’t conform to society's standards of womanhood(that word makes me shutter idk why) doesnt mean that I can’t be a woman.

I told her this fairly early on in my questioning, so this really set a tone for my mind set, though this is finally starting to change.

Through questioning I have learned the following about me:

When I appear/look feminine its performative. It’s not quite the same feeling I get when I do drag but its pretty similar.

Most days I feel smack in the middle of the gender spectrum. I think this leads me to enjoy being home a lot because my gender is never referenced when I am alone.

Somedays I feel masculine, and when I do it feels more authentic than my femininity, perhaps it is because I am entering masculine space on my own terms. (My partner notices that I am more confident and carry my body differently on these days, which I am glad she pointed out because I probably wouldn't have noticed that I walk differently so soon.)

I’m in the tech field so there is a lot of focus on women only events. I tend not to participate, unless they say they are inclusive to genderqueer folks and all women. Otherwise I feel like some weird imposter and I get panicky that I’ll be refered to as a lady all day and be hearing things like girls can do anything the whole time. Dont get me wrong I think all of this is great for women and sometimes my female friends need reminders like this, but its not the same for me. being misgendered doesn't feel good(still half in the closet), but then I also feel like I am being deceitful, because my goals are aligned around queerness, gender nonconformity and safe spaces for all trans folk. Having these other goals which are closer and dearer to my heart make me feel bad for taking up the space even though I know I shouldn’t. Theres not hardly any resources catering to gender-queer people in tech where I am so basically if I want to move forward in my career and gain access to mentors etc I have to game the cistem (haha my fave wordplay...). So yeah, its complicated and im working on these feelings and thoughts.

Anyways, I don't have a label that I like (though description of genderfluid is a good descriptor of how i experience my gender) but I am excited to finally be getting somewhere. I even ordered my first binder today and I am beyond stoked!!! My gf is overseas so I dont have anyone to share this with so I made this long ass reflective post :)