#idk who that other totally normal harpy is

[ranticore]

i had to sacrifice so much of the lineart to get it off the sketch layer that it all got very grainy but anyway here's the harpies YOU voted on except for two of them

i think this spread covers a decent number of shore habitats so these 6 are the kings in the flock and then there's the all-king who is very likely the pelican i'm thinking

[luminnara]

Omg that harpy post is wild! Do you have any other thoughts on Marko × harpie reader? Would you write about egg laying (maybe they don't have to be fertilized idk how well the boys would take to being parents but idk) or is that too weird? 🧐 If not that's Gucci, I get it.

As a monster fucking expert, I absolutely will write about egg laying lol

(I am always open for monster!reader requests)

Warnings: egg laying, pregnancy, nsfw

Marko totally thinks that all he’s gotta do is keep you fucked and happy, and that’s easy enough for him. Like. He loves that lol it’s an easy life to just get up and fuck your harpy girlfriend and then go eat some humans

And things stay that way for a while

Until you start building a new nest, full of things you’ve stolen from him, and you won’t let anybody else get near it

You actually almost bit Paul’s finger off when he tried to grab something from it

And this is a Problem for David, because he’s put up with you making a mess out of his lair LONG ENOUGH, and somebody’s gotta DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS

So he forces convinces Marko to actually ask you about it, even though Marko is totally sure nothing weird is going on

But David also knows significantly more about harpies than Marko and he’s pretty sure he knows what’s up lol

So Marko climbs on in, because of course he’s allowed in the nest, he’s your perfect mate and also the father of your (maybe) children!

“Hey, so uh…what’s the deal, babe?”

“You’re going to be the perfect father…”

“Father??”

And David just laughs at him because he got himself into this mess

but despite all the teasing at Marko’s expense, the boys are all very serious about keeping both of you safe and happy

They’re on extra high alert once you confirm that you’re expecting, and one of them (usually Marko but not always) is with you at all times

Your sex drive is OFF THE CHARTS

you’re practically dragging Marko into the nest with you every night and you don’t care if the others are around

And hey, he’s game, even if you are constantly horny and demanding lol

Marko almost passes out when you lay eggs, because 1. Harpy eggs are big??? How did that come out of you??? And 2. He loves ripping humans apart and playing with your guts, but holy shit, birth is weird

Dwayne is a good midwife tho

The eggs are really beautiful and colorful and now everybody is on even higher alert because harpy eggs are worth a lot of money

ANYBODY who wanders too close to the cliffs is getting beheaded, no questions asked

If the eggs aren’t fertilized, you’ll be a little sad, but the broodiness will pass and you’ll start feeling more normal again until you do it all over again

If they ARE, then congrats, there’s a little nest full of absolutely savage, sharp toothed little monster babies in the cave now and they love to latch onto any vampire they can find

Which is usually David unfortunately (for him lol)

David is actually a great harpy babysitter, even though he doesn’t want to admit that he’s just got a way with kids

And Marko is actually a pretty good dad, because he is VERY protective of his little flock now

[nightcoremoon]

I just realized that none of the female characters in dark souls are sexualized

anastacia's a priestess in a full cloak

rhea's a priestess in a full cloak

the undead merchant is just a normal lady who really likes moss

the butchers are just big ladies who chop meat and trespassers

mildred runs around the toxic swamp in a loincloth, sure, but with a bag over her head and a giant fuckhuge axe

quelana is a flame wizard in a full cloak

quelaag is naked yeah but she's also a fucking hideous spider monster with a huge ass fire sword and it's not like she's being sexy or anything she's just like, yo get the fuck out of my city and leave my sister alone or I'll fucking kill you

her sister is naked yeah but she's also a fucking hideous spider monster surrounded by a billion curse rotted eggs

alvina is... literally a cat

beatrice is a witch in a full cloak

the darkmoon knightess is a warrior in full armor

the balder darkmoon knight is probably a girl and the armor is a crop top and booty shorts but every single other balder knight dresses exactly the same way

gwynevere has big bazongas but her manner is more maternal and/or benevolent older sistery than sexy, plus miyazaki had her designed to be flat chested and kept getting mad at all of the games artists for making her amazing chest ahead even bigger despite him saying bro stop it, PLUS that's not even the real gwynevere because that's an illusion created by gwyndolin who may I point out is her older brother

gwyndolin is a boy who was raised as a girl because of his affinity for moon magic and I'm just assuming this is a localization thing so even though he has bigger tits by ratio than gwynevere he does not belong on this list no matter how many gross transfetishist men say so

priscilla is a dragon monster just minding her own business inside her painting, in a full fur coat that might actually be her scaled but idk

sieglinde's a warrior in full armor

dusk is a princess in a full cloak

elizabeth is literally a mushroom

ciaran is a warrior in full armor

the fire keepers wear full cloaks

shanalotte wears a full cloak

shalquoir is literally a cat

melentia is just a nomadic merchant

licia is a fucking cunt priestess in a full cloak

lucatiel is a knight in full armor

rosabeth wears whatever the fuck you give her

chloanne wears a dress with cleavage wow gasp I can't believe a wimminz would dare to have mammary glands

ornifex... okay admittedly she has a thick juicy ass but she's also a weird harpy demon thing

nashandra is a normal queen in a dress terrifying scythe wielding demon monster

the milfanitos (yes that is what they are called) are just perfectly normal humans in dresses

elana is another terrifying scythe wielding demon monster

alsanna wears a full normal dress

bellclaire, felicia, melinda, roenna, the dozen other female NPC phantoms not on the wiki, as far as I can remember they're all just ladies in armor with big weapons

the maiden in black, the hunter's doll, the fire keeper, anri, lady maria, nothing I can think of is even remotely on the side of explicitly sexualized

except maybe for the desert sorceresses but I can hardly blame miyazaki for anything in ds2 now can I?

honestly the most sexual thing in any of the souls games is the pisacas since they're literally just giant blue vagina-shaped blob monsters, the chaos eaters who literally vore you, aldrich voring gwyndolin, MiB's dirty feet, all the weird gross totally not sexual things that the internet has ruined in the past 20 years.

well and the dancer of the boreal valley but I mean that hardly counts, she's like the fuckin beldam from coraline but with giant swords. just because she's got cake doesn't mean it's unwholesome.

I've been playing so many souls games that I kind of forgot just how creepy and male gazey everything in the video game industry is. just look at kerrigan's ass, miranda's ass, tracer's ass, quiet's square inch of covered skin "for plot reasons", 2B's ass, there's just ass ass ass fucking everywhere. I mean I like hot girl ass, who doesn't? but holy shit can we have some more respect for the girls themselves and love them as humans with drive, desire, ambition, agency, and assets that don't have anything to do with what body parts they have? I know my boy hidetaka has shown that it's very possible.

[inside-of-a-fangirls-mind]

The White Wolf’s Dance; Chapter 2

Request; Still none but I needed a little action and angst. Hope you guys enjoy.

Words;2,753

Warnings; Minor Character deaths, Family deaths, Blood and Gore. Trying to save a life. Reader passed out from wounds after a fight. 

Pairing; Defintley more Geralt x Reader ish. IF you squint. 

Note; So I dunno where I really went with this chapter. Just wanted to give some background info on reader mainly. And show how freaking powerful she is and how much Geralt lowkey cares about her already. Maybe one day Geralt will train her to become even better? Idk. 

——————————————————————————————————

{I don’t own any gifs or witcher content!}

Tag List;

@yuminyg​ @andyl394​

If you wish to be on the tag list comment below!

                *Chapter 2; The Girl Behind the Mask*

Geralt and Jaskier stood away a bit from you, Jaskier just staring at you the whole time. “She’s a bit peculiar isn’t she?” Jaskier whispered to Geralt as he watched the girl. “Maybe I can get her in a talking mood. It seems she knows loads about us and we know nothing of her.” Before Geralt can say a word Jaskier walks over and pulls a log up to sit by the fire as well.

“Y/N,” He hums softly setting his lute down beside him “That’s your name right?” Jaskier offers a smile to you but you don’t open your eyes. Just giving him a slight nod which he would have missed if he wasn’t staring at you.

“Why’d you try to go after the harpy yourself? Surely you could have just put out a contract on it like anyone else?” He watches you before his attention goes to the fire. You peek an eye open to look at him before a soft smile tugs at your lips.

“I’ve killed many a monster before. Didn’t think one with wings would be too different. That’s where I was wrong. Unlike your friend,” You glance over to where Geralt is pulling up a log to sit at the fire as well. “I haven’t had years of training or been enhanced in any way. I just try my best and out of sear will I make it.” You look across the fire and catch his amber eyes looking back at you for a second before you sigh loudly. “Well, I’m sure you have more questions. Let me hear them. I’ll answer all I see fit.”

“Why’d you start killing monsters?” Geralt’s rough voice shocked you for a second, you didn’t expect a word out of him. His tone didn’t seem truly interested in the answer just trying to make conversation.

“Well the basic sob story, my village was attacked, my people killed. My father went off to fight and never returned. I was the oldest so someone had to take care of the family. Mom couldn’t do it all alone. Soon I was hunting, small animals. But one day something attacked my little sister. Tore her leg clear off, I picked up my first sword that day and I did what I had to, to save my sister. Just luck has it be, life wasn’t easy. Ma got sick, sister healed but couldn’t walk. My brother and I had to provide. I took to towns betting mostly, I’m pretty good at Gwent if I say so. Come across a bit of oren. My brother was the monster hunter. They attacked our village often because of the smell of death each grave gave off. Once ma died I decided I would protect everything I knew too.” You shrug and glance up at the small patch of sky through the tree line.

“And your sister? Where is she now?” Jaskier asked leaning in for the story. He was very interested in the new travel companion, Geralt was never this talkative.

“Dead.” You speak softly, before throwing more sticks on the fire. “Brother was all I had left after she passed last winter. Part of me hoping he’s still alive somehow. Though I know he isn’t.” You stretch over your head before letting out a yawn. You had all but blocked out emotions from your family matters. It had been a while and you were better off on your own anyway. No one to care about or miss.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier whispered before putting a hand on your shoulder. You stare at it for a moment before shrugging it off. He didn’t take it the wrong way, moving his hand back to his lap.

“It’s fine. All the more reason to kill the creatures.” You hum, you had been numb for a while to all this. Not like they would understand anyway. Not like they knew what you really were. Most of the story had been true, though the monsters at first. They weren’t beasts like the one you hunt now. They were humans, mostly men. See what your hired monster killers didn’t know is that you were an elf. You hid it will. Passing off as a sorceress explained your magick and a simple concealing spell hid your ears. Soon you could go back to your home and live out the rest of your days avoiding humans. Just had to stop that harpy first.

“Where’d you learn magick?” Jaskier asked then followed up with “And why’d you use it on me in the first place?“ He wasn’t used to having magic used on him. Geralt knew some but never once used it on him. Yennefer had to heal him but that was a whole didn’t story.

You chuckled at first before looking over at him. “The brotherhood,” You lied easily before smirking. “You weren’t my first choice. I was looking for The Witcher. Though he was suspicious of me, weren’t you?” Your eyes turn to Geralt as you offer a charming smile.

“No normal lady buys free drinks for strangers, especially without speaking first.” His rough voice was almost like music to your ears however you didn’t let it phase you. Sure he was big and handsome. But Witchers have no feelings, they only care about money.

“Well If you hadn’t left the party so soon I would have gladly explained my job to both of you. But Jaskier had other intentions didn’t you?” You smirk looking over the bard before winking.

“Hey! You came on to me! She came on to me Geralt!” Jaskier tries to explain looking to his friend. Although he did play a part in everything. She had made the first move.

“Hmm,” Geralt grunts with an eye roll.

You chuckle softly before smirking. “Relax. I just wanted to make sure you got some needed sleep before this journey. Though looking back. You’re not much of a monster hunter are you?”

“Uh..no.” Jaskier looked away before faking a yawn. “I’m going to bed have fun you two.” And with that, he was heading a bit away from the fire to sleep.

Not much was said for a while. Just glances at each other before he spoke. “Just don’t get killed. I want to get paid.” The Witcher grumbled.

“That’s the plan. You don’t get killed either. Don’t wanna be known as the one who got a Witcher killed.” You glance at him through the flame as it flickered quickly before you looked away. Okay, maybe the Witcher was pretty hot but still. You needed to get a grip. Not like the two of you would ride off into the sunset on his horse. Your dream of finding someone died with most of your people.

“Don’t worry.” He stood up before looking down at you and at this moment you felt incredibly small. “Get some rest. I’ll take the first watch. I know that’s on your mind.”

You don’t say a word as you stand up and look at him in a different light. Before nodding and then glancing at where Jaskier was laying down. “But I’m not sleeping with him.” You smirk before heading to a nearby tree and leaning against it. Suddenly your eyes feel heavy and you’re quickly drifting off into sleep.

Geralt keeps watching overnight. Though he is mostly watching you. The way your flowing H/C locks frame your face. The soft steady beat of your heart. And your willingness to run off and try and slay this monster yourself. For a human you had guts and he couldn’t wait to see you with a sword.

He already thought he was going soft because of Jaskier. Now another human he could grow to care about? What was all this becoming? He did his best not to think of it as he watched the fire dance in the night. A few hours later you woke up and noticed Geralt was gone. You feared he had runoff. You quickly checked your pockets but nothing had been stolen and as you focused your gaze pass the fire you saw Jaskier still laying on the ground sound asleep.

Suddenly a hand on your shoulder made you jump. Quickly another flew to your mouth before your eyes met familiar Amber ones. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” But the smirk on his face said otherwise.

You pulled his hand from your mouth and rolled your eyes. “a simple hello wouldn’t have done that.” You lean back against the tree noticing the softness of the black night sky. “Sun’s rising soon. We best be on the way. Not much further.” You stood up and brushed yourself off.

“Jaskier will wait here with Roach. We will continue on our own.” He spoke before going to wake his friend and tell him.

As soon as you two were getting ready to leave you walked over to Jaskier and placed a hand on his forehead. “Beri- na- os- cin.” You whisper as a soft blue light admits from your hand.

“Geralt…?” Jaskier whispers looking to his friend who didn’t seem alarmed.

“Relax. It’s a spell to hide you and protect you from everything else in this forest. Do not worry though. I’d bet my life on that spell. And have many times.” You pat his cheek roughly before strapping your sword to your hip and bow to your back.

“Stay here Jaskier. And don’t make too much noise. We will be back come nightfall.” Geralt’s rough time warned him before starting up the rocky trail to the mountain top.

You followed behind not saying a word. Just fiddling with the handle on your sword.

“Hope you got silver.” His voice was softer and surprised you.

“Yeah. Forged from my mas old jewelry. Made her myself.” You pat your sword on your hip smiling slightly. You were quite proud of that. But soon nothing stood between you and the top of the mountain but an area of trees.

“Hell, we go. Right past these trees. She’ll be there hopefully asleep.” You whisper as you draw your bow ready for anything. Geralt draws his sword and you both creep out of the trees and up the small trail to the nest. Only when on top do you both realize the mistake you made.

Not only was there the harpy sound asleep but two more. Three in total and they were twice the size of you both. This was going to be a lot harder than you thought. Geralt glances to you before motioning you to creep to one side as he did to the other. Taking out two while they slept making the third easy.

Though what you didn’t expect was a soft wheezing sound from the far side of the Harpy’s nest. And a weak “help.” You crept along to see who or what was making noise and upon laying eyes on your brother he screamed for your help. The Harpy’s shot up just as Gerald was slashing at one of them.

You notched your arrow and fired but the harpy moved out-of-the-way just in time. Soon the two of you were standing in their nest back to back as they circled you. “well this wasn’t planned.” Geralt spoke to you and you nodded. You had to stay focused.

Geralt was soon caught in a slashing fight with a harpy before you could respond. You notched arrow after arrow firing at the two that still flew around you two. That was until your brother cried out as one of the Harpy’s was trying to pick him up in her claws.

“GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU BITCH,” Yout shouted sword now drawn as you ran towards it. Swinging your blade at it with pose and slicing off one of its wings. It recoiled in pain and shrieked at you.

While being distracted the other swooped in and gashed your arm and thigh with its huge claws. You cried out in pain and dropped your sword. Geralt had managed to kick back the harpy before running over to you. “Get out of here kid. I got this.” He growled before knocking the already wounded Harpy’s head off.

“No!” You shouted picking up your sword in your other hand and standing with your back to your bother. “COME AT ME, YOU SORRY BITCHES.” You cried out sword pointed to the sky. Another harpy swooped and you swung at it missing. Tears covered your cheeks as your brother screamed for you to leave him.

Geralt managed to fight one-off giving it a gash on its foot before backing up towards you. “Kid leave now. I don’t get paid if you die, remember?” He yelled at you his amber eyes were something furious now.

You shook your head no and swung your sword again but the Harpy’s claws hit your shoulder with another gash. You cried out in pain and dropped to your knees.

Geralt turned towards you and got surprise-attacked by the one he had wounded. Pinned to the ground as the harpy tried to sink her claws into him. The other heading for your brother again. This was it. Your last few seconds and you had to make it count.

You dropped your sword, “GET OUT OF HERE KID.” Geralt yelled as he tried to hold off the harpy.

You got to your feet and slowly lifted your damaged arm and other. Both palms to the sky as you screamed out “Rost naur!!” And fire shot out of your palms as you screamed. Your hair coming undone and falling against your shoulders. Your eyes shut as you merged the flames into a dome and let them burn the harpy above you to dust. Then with one quick move, you shot your hand out at the one on top of Geralt and screamed “Torth- -o cín faer!!” And ripped the harpy in two.

Blood crashing down and drenching Geralt. He got up and watched as you were about to drop. And was there to catch you as your legs gave out. “Easy now.” He whispered.

You rested against his chest for a moment before a surge of power ran through you and left to the sky in blazing orange light. Your appearance slightly changing. Your eyes turning a soft orange your ears returning to their familiar pointed ones and your body covered in glowing light blue tattoos. You take one look at your hands before up at him.

“I have a job to finish.” You whisper and push out of his arms before he can say a word. You fall to your hands and knees crawling to your brother. Only then does he notice you and your brother’s features.

You’re face stained with tears and blood you take his hand and smile. “I never thought I’d see you again.” You whisper holding it close. Your brother smiles slightly, “Y/N, my Luna. I need you to follow through with our promise.” His voice was rough as he coughed up blood. At this point, you could see one of his arms was missing. His legs ripped opened and a hole in his midsection. Tears streamed down your face as you nodded.

“I love you, Rydel. Say hi to ma, pa, and Nuala for me.” You smile before caressing his face once more than going to your hip and pulling out your dagger and slicing his throat. Your hands going to the blood and drawing a symbol on his forehead before chanting “N- with mín kin in mán a faer.” Then setting your hands on his chest as a shooting solid blue light goes through his body. You fall backward everything going dark as his body burns in soft blue flames, the ashes dancing to the sky.

Geralt quickly grabs you in his arms looking over your wounds before carrying you down the mountain back to Jaskier without a word. Once Jaskier sees the two of you he freaks out. He runs over following the two of you like a lost puppy.

“Y/N!! She’s an elf!?” He nearly shouts as Geralt lays her almost lifeless body on the ground. Jaskier instantly puts a hand to your cheek, he was just starting to get used to you around.

“Doesn’t matter. Get my bag.” He spoke softly as he moved your hair and ripped your shirt off your shoulder, stitching you up the best he could at the moment. At least you wouldn’t bleed to death. But it was going to be a long trip back.

Chapter 3

[darkpoisonouslove]

3-7, 13, 16-17, 21, 25-26, 28, 30-32, 36, and 41. (If you're still doing ask thing.)

I’m doing it! Wow, you sent a lot of numbers. Okay XD. Let’s see.

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

Totally witch of the forest but if you can also mix writing into that.

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

A body suit that covers everything and is made of very strong materials so that it won’t tear and will protect me from injuries (idk why the hell I would even need a battle outfit, I am not the type of person that goes well with battles). Also, def a headpiece to protect me from head injuries and keep my hair where an opponent can’t grab it and drag me by it.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

I would be the goddess of forgiveness and people would have to sacrifice their anger and desire for vengeance to me because that’s the only way to forgive and heal.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

Time to go through the quote tag, I see. It’s a good thing I’ve been collecting all those quotes. So idk what qualifies as iconic, but here you go - five quotes that make me feel things:

“I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody.” - Louis L’Amour

“Maybe it’s because I take everything as a lesson, or because I don’t want to walk around angry… or maybe it’s because I finally understand.” (I haven’t written down where this is from (pretty sure it was some TV show that I definitely HAVEN’T watched) but it does make me feel a lot of things)

“Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.” - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.” - C. S. Lewis

“Hurt people hurt people. That’s how pain patterns get passed on, generation after generation after generation. Break the chain today. Meet anger with sympathy, contempt with compassion, cruelty with kindness. Greet grimaces with smiles. Forgive and forget about finding fault. Love is the weapon of the future.” - Yehuda Berg

And a little bonus because I had this one in mind ever since the beginning but I got five before I managed to find it:

“She took a step and didn’t want to take any more, but she did.” - Markus Zusak

This really needs a cut:

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Scythes are cool, but I’m not sure how functional they are. I definitely do not get the trident as a weapon, and spears are not good weapons imo if they’re the only thing you have going into battle. Axes look cool but are a little bit brutal for my taste, I think (though, you’ll be killing people with all the weapons - it’s why they’re weapons!). I think I’d pick a broadsword. That would suit me best.

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

I’m a bit torn between cabin in the woods and a mansion in the suburbs. I think I would take a mansion on the very edge of town where there are as few people as possible.

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

I really love the look of Regina Mills’ outfits (from OUAT) because she has the dress aesthetic but the skirt is open at the front and she wears pants underneath so that she can ride horses and, generally, be more mobile than a normal gown would allow you to be. I imagine her outfits are also a lot lighter than typical gowns were throughout history. Idk, I really like how that looks. Also, I would love some floaty veils - they look so magical and dreamy.

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

A mermaid. God, what I wouldn’t give to be able to breathe underwater and swim with the sea creatures.

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

I think I’ll take the evening in the forest with elves. Though the vampires also sound kinda tempting tbh.

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

It is a fairytale and I do know how it was called but no idea how that will be in English. Anyway, the story was about a king with three sons who sends them on a quest to bring the most beautiful puppy they can find. They have one year to do that. The brothers set out on a journey together but reach an agreement to separate at the inn they’re staying in and meet back there when the year is up. From there on we follow the youngest son who gets robbed and lost and stumbles into a castle in the woods. The door opens but he can see no one. Only floating wooden (I think?) hands that lead him through the castle. Once he’s settled in, they lead him to the owner of the castle who turns out to be a white talking cat. For the next year he stays there and the two of them have all sorts of fun along with all the other cats that live there. At the end of the year, the cat reminds him that he needs to return to his father, and he gets mad at himself because he wasted the whole year and didn’t find a puppy. She gives him a walnut and tells him only to crack it open when he gets back to his father’s palace. He meets with his brothers at the inn and sees what beautiful dogs they’ve found. Meanwhile, he’s brought a dirty mutt that his brothers mock him about. When they go to their father, though, he cracks the walnut open and from inside shows up the smallest puppy that also dances. The king is impressed but decides to give them another task. He tells them to find the finest fabric that can go through the eye of a needle for which they have a year again. The youngest prince returns to the castle of the white cat and spends the next year with her again. Then she gives him… some sort of other nut (I don’t remember what it was anymore) and sends him back to his father. When he gets there, he cracks the nut, but inside there is another nut. And another. And another. Until finally there is an entire piece of fabric in the last one that actually does go through the eye of a needle. Everyone is absolutely shooketh, but the king gives them one final task. He tells them that they need to find wives in the next year and come back to him so that he can decide who will inherit the kingdom. The youngest brother returns to the white cat again and spends that year with her as well. On the last day of his stay she tells him that at midnight he has to cut off her head and her tail and throw them into the fireplace. He starts crying because he loves her and can’t do that but she tells him to trust her and do it. He does and she transforms into a woman. She is the princess of the castle but she and her whole retinue were cursed to become cats (I don’t remember why anymore, the backstory escapes me). He takes her to his father who pronounces him the next king but the cat-turned-woman-again says that she has a kingdom of her own and so they leave the kingdom to his brothers.

Wow, I can’t believe how much I remember from that fairytale. There must have been at least ten years since I’d last read it. Anyway, yeah, I adored that tale and my grandparents and parents weren’t happy about it because it was the second longest fairytale in all the books we had and I made them read it to me all the time. It was my absolute favorite. Damn, i wanna go search for the book and read it now!

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

A few weeks ago I saw a cat that had these eyes that immediately let me know that that cat could understand absolutely every word I would say to it. I do think that animals in general understand us but in a reading-our-emotional-state kind of way. Not in a I-totally-get-all-the-words-you’re-saying kind of way. But I’m pretty sure that was exactly what was going on with that cat. It was kinda weird, but not a bad weird.

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

Ah, goddammit! There are a lot of Bulgarian sayings that fit my views on life but they’re not exactly translatable, y’know?

Treat people the way you want to be treated is one principle that I *try* to follow.

Forgive but don’t forget is another principle that I believe in (I know the original is forgive and forget but I don’t believe in that. And also, remember all those things I remember from that fairytale I haven’t read in years? You think I know how to forget things? I’m a lot better with forgiving, tho, I promise.)

Everyone deserves love is a hill that I will die on tbh. I know it sounds corny, but love is the one thing that can save people and I firmly believe in that.

Not exactly sayings, but close enough for me (hopefully for you, too.)

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

Ehh, I have no idea. It’s gotta be purple and black, tho.

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

Definitely splashing in a river with mermaids. God, I love mermaids.

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

Voicing my opinion. I have literally zero respect for authority. If you’re wrong, you’re wrong and you’d better believe I WILL call you out on it. I don’t care if you’re god or whatever.

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

Eh, I don’t know. I really don’t want to be a queen. That’s too much responsibility that I could handle, but I really don’t want to. Can I write if I’m a pirate? If yes, then that’s settled.

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

This became long. I’m sorry if some answers are a bit sparse. I just really didn’t know what to do with some of the questions. 😅

[ralfstrashcan]

3x21 Reaction / Commentary

I was seriously wondering if this was Alec because Magnus loss = melt down = shaky fingers but Alec would never voluntarily drink something so pretentious. But uuhhh I had thought Jonathan angry-flapped through the rift to Edom? Why he now here still?

More seelie queen crown, yeah!!

Not buying that whole “your demon blood is burning away your humanity” because, again, he lived years without being bonded to Clary so what's taken that “transformation” so long? Also, will he become like, a raven? A harpy? Oh no, I saw the promo. He'll be blond. Makes sense.

He just showed that he's not interested, stop harassing him you sick cougar.

Uhhhhh, objection your honor. That fake blade only contained like three atoms of the original Glorious. But whatever, details amiright.

Also if they wanna tell me it's the blade that triggered the transformation then a) wtf why would a blade designed to break something evil make the evil actually MORE evil wtf for a shit equipment is that b) can we expect some ridic changes for Clary too, that make her even more Mary Sue? c) if Lucifer was so badass, where is he? Something killed him, maybe? Since Jonathan is declared most uniquest thing to ever unique?

“A splendid pet bird. And he died a few decades back so I'd like to recruit you as replacement,. Whatcha say? I'll even drop bird themed pick up lines around you all day.” God I'm making myself sick.

BS when you think about it, because every individual is unique. Good luck salvaging the climate change and what not, seelie queen, on your heroic quest to preserve all that is unique.

#rejected, take that you prowling predator. Can you believe she annoyed him so much he just abandoned his pretentious cream drink thingy? So rude. Also nice touch that they remembered that thing with the flowers and Jonathan making them poor flowers wilt. Btw would that have worked if they were plastic flowers?? Haha ok sorry.

Wtf I'm very much not on board with the seelie queen having a weird Jonathan fetish. Also, if the sole reason she has it is that Jonathan is “one of a kind” then I wonder why she wasn't ruthlessly hitting on Simon the same way? Or technically, before Simon became a daylighter, on Cain, getting him to leave the sewers and chill in the seelie realm instead?

1) Wow can you believe they managed to spare Malec's drama 3 seconds of consideration before getting absorbed in themselves again? Amazing. 2) Dude, you weren't in control of your actions while Clary was brainwashed and very much in control of her actions. That's not really comparable? But whatever.

Some great “love” you've got going on there, Maryse, writing Magnus off after, what? Half a day? Two days? Smh.

???????????????????? So they want to tell me Magnus plastered his magic like a bandaid over the rift but didn't really close it? Well, I am prepared with outrage to point out all the ways in which this is bullshit.

1) There clearly was no such thing to be seen from the other side.

Since Edom and Earth are two different dimensions and on Earth's side there was no rift in the dimension's fabric anymore that obviously means if the wraiths slipped through that Edom crack they'd either be lost in limbo or flapping around in some inter-dimesional space. But they couldn't reach Earth. So I fail to see how this is a problem.

2) How the hell do the NY Shadowhunters know about this? Since from their side the rift was well and truly closed? They don't know that Magnus has to keep his magical band-aid in place? The only thing they have to wonder about is why the hell Magnus hasn't returned yet since Magnus proved in 3x20 that apparently interdimensional travel works with normal warlock portals and those fancy pentagram things aren't necessary.

3) Uhhhh if Magnus has to stay there to keep up the magical band-aid (since exit options clearly aren't the issue here) wtf won't he tire at some point? Am I supposed to believe exhausting isn't a thing in Edom? What happens if he has to sleep? (Sidenote, what the hell do they eat in Edom anyway? Will he have to roast some shax demons? Disturbing.) Anyway back to the topic at hand, if I'm supposed to believe that Magnus is THAT strong he can keep up this magic (a magic that was so enormous he couldn't even achieve it from Earth) for eternity without taking a break, then I doubly don't get why he can't just SEAL the goddamn rift?! And don't tell me it's because band-aid magic is something he can do, and different from  rift sealing magic which is something he can't do. Because again, 2x20 is a thing where Magnus proves that he is capable of sealing a rift; so the only explanation of why he didn't do it in 3x20 is because the rift was too powerful. Now correct me if I'm wrong but to me Magnus + Enhanced Edom Powers equals He Closes The Rift, not Weird Band-Aid Magic. Wtf.

HAHAHAH I CAN'T!!!!! THANKS MAGNUS FOR POINTING THIS OUT!!! AND IN THE SASSIEST WAY POSSIBLE!!!!! IT'S BEEN BUGGING ME SINCE 3x10 XD XD XD

Love that shot.

1) Thanks, Lilith, for confirming that Magnus is in fact constantly supplying the band-aid with magic and thus exposing this whole plot line as completely frakkin illogical. 2) Wtf Lilith, why the heck did you go back to Edom in 3x16 if you wanted to murder Jonathan????? IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL WTF 3) Where tf is Cain?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CAN'T

Wow that escalated quickly. I hate that even though Magnus knows it's just a trick to get into his head it still hurts him, because this is how he is: alwasy second-guessing his worth. He deserves better from all of them, deserves more from them, so he wouldn't feel this so keenly.

Ok, good save, I was just gearing up for a rage about why the hell Magnus is more powerful than the literal mother of demons who could defeat everyone, even with his Ddom-Edition-Powers because come on. However, Magnus must know that this is just a temporal solution because recovering means at some point she'll be recovered and, well.

Also, this shot haha.

Hahahaha I see he inherited the hell puns from Asmodeus along with the real estate XD

I mean, yeah, and then he acted like a total fool in his last few days. Great way to go, man. #stillbitter

“People mattered to Jordan. People, their troubles, their pain...”

That was sweet.

HAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS

Probably off to do something to enrage me, so same as always.

Oh look, he's robbing a bakery because being jobless and needing food doesn't mix well.

OMG I SUDDENLY REMEMBER THIS FROM THE 3B TRAILER. You know, Luke being all creepy in the back of a car? Wtf, honestly I think I'll have even less patience for Human!Luke than I have Inapt!Werewolf!Luke. They're really testing me.

“....like Sizzy” Hahahah okay I'll try to behave myself. And I had time to prepare, it was obvious they'd use that inspirational thing Maia said for Sizzy purposes.

Yeah...... #irony #obviously me behaving myself isn't working out, who's surprised? I'm not.

Don't they have fire extinguishers in the Institute somewhere? I mean, there's regulations for that, right? Lemme guess, that's remnants of the Glorious fake sword that pierced her? And now she can't be with Simon without killing him, hahaha, all Sizzy problems solved XD

When I saw this (in the Sneak Peek, but still counts) my first thought was “Aha NOW he tries to find a solution but when Magnus first lost his magic he couldn't be bothered RUDE ALEC WTF” lol ahahahah

Question time: 1) Didn't he have plants in there last episode?

OH RIGHT HE HAD!!! What happened to them? *Sherlock Voice* Did he eat them??

2) Why didn't Alec wonder where the hell Lorenzo was? Sure, he's a little preoccupied atm with losing Magnus, but he should have realized Lorenzo was weirdly absent about five hours into his happy little loft occupation???

3) I fully expected the scratching to be Chameleon!Lorenzo vying for attention, but seeing it, omg my heart broke a little. Can you imagine the desperation?? Poor evil lizard baby.

You know, I find it inherently troubling that Alec assumes Magnus always had this lizard and has only now decided to relocate its terrarium into the loft's main room, instead of thinking Magnus got the lizard as, idk, a pick-me-up after the breakup. I mean, what kind of lousy pet holder does he take Magnus for? Not even mentioning he has one, never taking care of it? That's not Magnus. Alec should know better.

Als Bohemian so incisively pointed out, why would he have created a pet cobra that he calls “baby” if he hated reptiles? And while, granted, Alec might not know about this, I believe Cat should. So wtf.

.....................................they honestly felt the need to tell her this? In grave detail and that this was their first kiss? Why would they do that?? Or did she look at the tapes??? So many questions.

Lol okay I didn't even intend to be so spot on with the Sizzy prediction. More importantly though, she won't be able to shadowhunt anymore.

Why is anyone (except Magnus (and occasionally Alec)) left in charge of anything, ever. *sigh*

But I mean, at least there's this

Small mercies (aka comedic pockets in a vast sea of illogic shit) I guess XD

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA I AM DEAD I CAN'T HAHAHAH HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!

Jace is me, I am Jace

So.... many....... questions...............

Okay, so I'm severely confused. If this demon has info on what's happening in Edom right now, then either he left Edom after Lilith started gathering her army so there's a rift there somewhere, OR there's a way for news to travel between Edom and Earth, probably through, you guessed it, a tiny rift. So wtf, show, please explain because I don't understand.

..............................................................

The audacity. The fucking audacity. MAGNUS WILL BE DEAD, IS WHAT YOU SHOULD TAKE AWAY FROM THAT. NOT THAT THE RIFT REOPENS ARE YOU KIDDING ME WTF JACE I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I EVEN CURSED EXPLICITLY I NEVER DO THAT WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Wow. Alec, can you please punch him?

Don't get me wrong. They're shadowhunters, of course it is their duty to prevent this to protect the mundanes. But, delivery?! Show some worry at the prospect of the love of your parabatai's life dying??? before continuing with business as usual?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SAME CLARY, BECAUSE WTF?! I REPEAT, WTF!!!! Didn't she listen to Helen at all? It's not going to protect her, it's going to blast her to frakking pieces. Wtf how dumb is she??? Hääääääääääää?????

lol Simon, you'd just stab yourself in the eye with it XD But I appreciate the sentiment XD

I AM THIS CLOSE TO JUST, RECORD MY LAUGHTER BECAUSE I'M DYYYYYING OVER HERE OKAY HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA Also he should call Maia, because life as a werewolf suxx way less than life as a vampire. Then again, IMMORTAL HUSBANDS SIGN ME THE F UP, IMMORTAL ALEC WAS ENDGAME ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Okay, on a more coherent note. I LOVE this line. I was so painfully deprived of Alec throwing himself into risk and action just to protect and help Magnus during 3B that it's not even funny. So this was really awesome. But, consider this: if he really wanted to go through with it he'd have to wait like a whole day before the transformation is completed, so uhhh impracitcal.

YES. YES. PLEASE MORE OF ENRAGED ALEC SCOLDING THEM LIKE THE KIDS THEY ARE. (But, uh, ragefully running away from his sire in spe wasn't the cleverest move if he wants to go through with it immediately ahaha XD)

I mean, nice of them to contriubute. All it took was Alec (!!!!!) flipping his shit. It seems they didn't have the idea to look into something themselves. Lol I'm inclined to be with Lilith on that one, are they even worth it??? Smh.

Full disclosure, for the longest time I was sure those were burning dog shit piles XD

Can we talk about how Jonathan is at a point where he doesn't really seem to care if he lives or dies because everything is pointless to him? (Btw if I manage to actually write the epic 3x21+22 rewrite I have in mind then it'd start here.)

I mean this was smooth and all, but......? Wasn't Meliorn like, totally over Izzy? I'm meaning this in a premonition-y way, not just this line. His rekindled feelings come pretty much out of nowhere.

I get that this is the alliance rune from the books. But why the hell would she do that in this situation instead of a rune that allows Shadowhunters to survive in Edom? In which universe is alliance rune your first thought instead of resiliance rune?? Or just a plain Accio Magnus rune, ffs!!!Makes no sense.

This is epic and all, but excuse me while I roll my eyes real hard.

Also ignoring the seelie queen and her weird fetish 2.0 because who cares.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT LORENZO IS A FANBOY HAHAHAHA I BET YOU HE WILL CORNER SIMON AT SOME POINT AND BEG HIM FOR AN AUTOGRAPH HAHAHAHAHA

“As my first act on the Downworld Council...”

So you mean to tell me that from 3x02 til 3x21 actually only a week passed? Because the Downworld Council meetings are weekly scheduled??? Tf hahaha.

Hahahhahhaa I mean I totally get why he reacts that way. Also, may I ask the dreaded question: WHERE THE F IS CATARINA???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No honestly, I give up. I just. I give up.

Hahahahaha

“The angels wouldn't have given me this power if they didn't want me to use it.”

Premonition!Ralf: Ha. Hahahhahaha. Ha.

THE COMEDY WE DESERVE HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA PERFECT!!!! Not least because it's immediately followed by

which makes it seem as if Lorenzo is complimenting Meliorn's prowess as a lover LOL

SIGH. So in 3x10 it was the portal that allowed Magnus to EASILY travel back to Earth, not Asmodeus kindly giving him a lift. So then let me ask why the hell he didn't make a portal like this in 3x20?! Did he already know he wouldn't be able to seal the rift but would have to keep it closed 24/7? Ridiculous. Also, why does Alec even ask this, since he saw Magnus use that exact same portal in 3x10.

I think you should have held frikkin hands.

HAHAHA ALEC, HONEY, WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE ANYWAY???? “We're right here, next to those withered trees. There's sand on the ground and wraiths in the sky. Everything looks red. And from here I can see that one ruin!!”

Weird Lorenzo & Alec bonding is intriguing. That's all I'm saying on the matter for now. I'm reserving judgement.

(Edit: After watching both 3x21 and 3x22 this clearly marks the point where Lorenzo's Instant Redemption Arc sets in and simultaneously comes to a close. Thanks, I hate it. Let antagonists be antagonists, dammit. At the end of the day not everyone is a goody two-shoes. That's life. UGH. Also, let me introduce my theory that while traveling between Earth and Edom Lorenzo's character was ripped from him in a severe Plot Convenience Turbulence. What a shame.)

But hell yeah to Alec's emotions running rampant and him being unable to control the magic. Another headcanon confirmed (that I didn't really knew I had, lol).

Hahahahha dude could you be any more pretentious XD XD XD

Hahahahahahaha this is the best day of my life.

Hahahaha Meliorn just got promoted to one of my favorites. Better late than never amiright.

I get this, this taking stock conversation, from a meta standpoint. But BITCH CAN YOU FOCUS ON MAGNUS FOR ONCE IN YOUR SELF-ABSORBED LIFE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK WTF DAMMIT

Yeah, me too. Who knew demonic transformations came with a villain hairdo make over?? Nature truly is beautiful.

Me, watching: I might be totally oblivous, but did this crown always have a stripe thing on the top, too? Ralf, editing this reaction post: Yes. Yes it did. You're not as observant as you like to think. Me, reading that: .......harsh

..........do I have to understand why he isn't running away screaming? I get the instinct to wreak havoc because everything hurts and is pointless but wtf, the seelie queen is doing the exact same things Lilith did to him. Using him, only seeing him as a power source that has to be cultivated but has no feelings, no worth, and weirdly kissing him. He should, for all intents and purposes, be running for the hills. (But also, uh, neat nail polish and rings, seelie queen. You've got style.)

HAHAHAHA I mean, I already prepared two Jeliorn Dumb Comics, but this is reaching ridiculous levels XD XD XD I'm soooo here for it.

Hahahahaha XD XD XD

“Runes bubbling back, incredible” Yeah, no shit. I'm not buying. I could even largely argue my point, making references to the seelies that got “treated” in 3x17 that weren't rendered half-human-half-angel but mundane, meaning they lost their angelic part, too, meaning the serum removes angelic blood as well as demon blood. But since I couldn't care less about Luke (right now or in general? That's your guess to make) I'm not even getting worked up over it XD

Dude, you're aware this is like the perfect opening for getting a verbal diss, right?

Wow, three seconds a shadowhunter and here we are with the racist jokes again. That was quick.

Also, let me say how exceedingly ridiculous it is that Luke just walks out of there with a “No thank you” and Evil Praetor Guy does nothing against it literally because Luke said “But blackmailing me would mean you're evil ;__;”

bitch please

Look, can we appreciate this a little more? Like, a lot more??? Can I pause the episode here and stare at this for half an hour or something????? Alec saying he's willing to just, leave behind life as he knew it, very possibly never seeing anyone of his family again, just so he gets to stay with Magnus? I mean, that's some Major Immortal Alec Energy right there. Serve me more please.

..................wow instead I get Clary depriving me of a Malec Reunion Smooch wtf?! Uuuhhhh no thank you!!!!

AHAHAHA THAT SUFFERING FACE HAHAHAHAHA OMG AMAZING Kicked Pouting Suffering Puppy Jace <3<3<3

Btw what Jace said about Simon really gave me something to think about. I'm confused but intrigued. I like.