#idk who that lady with the bat is i think shes from no more heroes i just saw the pic and had to include it

[awoooniper]

[ravnloft]

hellooooooooooooo i realized i have never done like a full list of my ocs. so here it is

amma theylin: dark elf rogue, chaotic neutral (leans evil), dual-wielding swords and ranged bow, proficient in being sneaky and being hot. tragic backstory is she became infatuated with a guy who was trying really hard to be lawful good and when he dropped the ball on their coup d'état plot she killed him and ran. will do literally anything if it pays well enough. played her in dnd, bg3 and elder scrolls.

lady gwendolyn viridience morrigan, druidess, esq.: half-elf druid, usually chaotic good, majored in botany, minored in ethically questionable usage of charm spells. tends a greenhouse that holds a portal to the feywild, the stewardship of which she was bequeathed by a very powerful archwizard and mentor and good friend, on his deathbed. she never wanted it but the choice was between her and her evil sister/s so the archwizard gave it gwen. now she uses it to (1) be the best damn florist in neverwinter (2) howl's moving castle her way away from bad fantasy tinder dates because she's a hopeless romantic and terrified of commitment. played her in dnd and bg3.

samson o'dare: human/aasimar paladin, true good, big sword and bigger shield, great with animals, has wings like a mourning dove. he worshiped chauntea as a child and then one day lathander appeared to him in the middle of a field and told him it was his holy holy duty to be a paladin of light. samson was like hell yeah i want a sword. and began adventuring. adventuring quickly proved to be far more unpleasant than he had expected and he prays to chauntea every day like "mom i'm scared come pick me up". played him in dnd and bg3.

nol barrow-bound: undead death cleric, ??? (she is extremely impressionable), sickle and staff/half-caster, uses a human skull as an arcane focus and has 1 million holy symbols on her person. used to be a hag's apprentice and then she woke up on the side of the road one day and was just like, "guess i'm an entrepreneur now". gifted alchemist, even more gifted necromancer, makes her living as an herbalist and medium, lowkey cheats on the medium part because she just tells people what they want to hear (or at least what she thinks they want to hear) but she doesn't see it as cheating because she IS contacting the dead she just isn't letting them be RUDE. collects roadkill. also kind of looks like roadkill. one time i thought "haha what if nol and samson were in an adventuring party together" and now they're tragedy-to-romance endgame lovers. played her in dnd and skyrim. she's usually my go-to for dnd oneshots :')

sigg solveig/sigourney gevaudan: human (? she's huge, there's no way she's fully human)/werewolf barbarian, will change her entire ethos if a hot girl says so, sword/axe/hammer so big it is physically impossible for people other than her to wield. tragic backstory is she contracted lycanthropy at a young age and wound up killing her familar. she went into hiding and became a fighter, a laborer, a soldier, whatever put food on her table, but eventually her lycanthropic bloodlust got hard to control and she became a hermit rather than risk killing her loved ones again. she is not smart or wise or especially clever but why would she need to be when she can crush someone's head with one hand. womanizer but her deepest wish is to get married and be a stay-at-home mom baking for her wife every day. played her in pathfinder and skyrim.

princess daisychain frances van pancypants iii: goblin, class variable but generally support/healing, true good. looks like an albino bat. raised by halflings. the sweetest, nicest, tiniest magical girl you will ever meet. completely filled with love. knows one (1) swear word. played her in dnd.

arkhemites "miette" du bäl: tiefling warlock, something evil but might go on a hero's journey idk, worships whatever tentacled space monster is native to the setting. wants to plunge the world into entropy so it can be born anew. she's noble or royal but has like 16 sisters and most of them are older. played her in starfinder.

[triviareads]

HR Sleepover Asks: Compare and contrast your new fave HR heros list with your old one 👀

EXCELLENT. Here is a link to my original list from April.

So top hero-wise, I'd say Ralston, Rhys Winterborne, and St. Vincent remain consistent. But to ADD to the list:

Lysander Blackstone ("Stone") from Always Be My Duchess by Amalie Howard: So underrated, classic Outwardly Proper Man who is just so deeply affected by the heroine, a ballerina and wow does the longing pay off. He's a gentleman but will bend you over a desk (not his desk; A desk).

Duke of Clayborn from Heartbreaker by Sarah MacLean: Gentleman, and again outwardly proper, another hero that's just obsessed with the heroine (like right off the bat; we're talking kissing about 20 minutes into their acquaintance, and doesn't hesitate to make that known in a variety of most excellent ways.

Crispin from Duke of Depravity by Scarlett Scott: What a MESS this man is. Falls drunkenly asleep on the heroine's tits after calling them "bubbies". Steals her fichu and uses it for unspeakable things. Cries. Eventually cleans up his act enough to become delightfully spanky near the end. A+ redemption arc.

Duke of Gracewood from A Lady For A Duke by Alexis Hall: Another (initially) messy man, but infinitely more sympathetic. I remember Viola thinking something along the lines of Gracewood "being pleasing towards women and women pleasing him" or something like that and that tracks; he's like, very comforting/reassuring and just really really romantic.

Grey from The Millionaire Marquess by Scarlett Scott: Basically imagine a hottie marquess who's chasing after his friend's housekeeper and asks her to be his mistress for a month, but he's so smooth and hot enough so you're not at all insulted by his indecent proposal.

Sterling from Surrender to the Devil by Lorraine Heath: idk, a man who immediately propositions a woman upon meeting her just speaks to me as a concept. Similar to Grey, actually, and is that right level of persistent while not being uncomfy.

Clay Madden from Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe: It's always fun to see a hero lean into the "bit o' rough" bit and this man absolutely does when he's all like "I gotta warn you Florence, I'm not one of your pampered uptown gentlemen" and she's just like "yes plz". Excellent dirty talker, even when it takes a weird turn into satyrs (?).

So I think compared to my previous list, I've a) diversified in terms of authors, and b) leaned into the hot mess express heroes. They don't need to be Val (from Duke of Sin)-level problematic but they're messy men and I'm down for that as a concept.

[black-coffee-and-sugar]

Listen, I actually couldn't finish this episode. Like I lost brain cells, got ingestion and finally KO-ed because I could NOT grasp the plot. Not even seeing Lena again made this enjoyable for me. But here's what I got:

- I wonder how many takes Thomas took to say Nxyly's full name without biting his tongue off

- also I am so sorry Thomas that they had you sing. And yet somehow that wasn't the most cringe thing to happen in this episode

- Nia and Kara desperately assigning blame to themselves instead of just, idk, working together to fix the problem. Who cares who's fault it is??

- Alex jumping in front of kara when mxy brandishes the PZ projector is the only thing I liked

- Kelly's absence felt so odd after 2 back to back episodes of her front and centre

- Nia thinking that Kara would drag her for making a mistake makes me wonder if these characters even know each other

- kara: "I should've told you guys about Nxyly". Yes you idiot you absolutely should have! Like I get that they don't wanna bring it up but like how is ignoring what happened to her any better? Do they not do any Intel sharing?

- the fucking zookeeper is still here?!?!?

- look I wasn't expecting Lena to be talking to kara on the phone, I know better than that, but I had hoped it would at least be Nia considering that Lena and her have been bonding over their moms and it just makes sense??

- andrea's titty window sans kara or Lena to see it. What was it all for?

- I understand Lena using Andrea's resources to help her out and shit and I'm actually surprised the writer's remembered she doesn't have access to the LuthorCorp jet anymore. I honestly wouldn't have batted an eye if she did tho.

- the way we haven't had ANY scenes of dialogue between kara and lena aside from 6x01 and only ONE line from kara to Lena since then. Like are they actually going to brush everything under the goddamn rug? We heard from Alex that they've forgiven each other and it seems that way too but we haven't actually had the chance to judge that as an audience and it's (checks notes) 11 episodes already???

-Kara is back and yet Lena doesn't seem full. Kara is back and yet she hasn't been vulnerable with lena or with anyone really. Or was that all a lie?

- Nxyly is actually kinda hot in this episode. Interesting development there

- the team actually fighting a giant pussy cat and more brain cells have died. If they were hoping it would be amusing like the Legends fighting a giant Beebo, spoiler alert - it was not

- mxy and Nxyly and even the king has some keysmash names but one imp is actually named Jared? Just fucking Jared. Christ

- Lena being bullied by a bunch of Canadians is hilarious and I say this as a Canadian. Like Lena has stood her ground against Lex, Lillian, SG, an interrogation room filled with judgemental pricks, fucking Reign and yet, she looked two seconds from crying when denied her hotel room by some fucking Newfies. Get the fuck outa here.

- not a single Tim Hortons run in this entire episode. Are we sure she even went to Canada???

- at one point, I was rooting for Nxyly to win.

- so not only did they bring back that god awful wig that they actually had the audacity to make footage with it? That thing needs to be snatched and thrown into the sun like the trash monster.

- Katie looked so done in this episode and I don't even blame her. I suffered second hand embarrassment on her behalf. Those lines, her behaviour. It's like what the fuck happened to the Lena from the past 4 seasons?

- the mean bartender says "I've seen you on the news running arm in arm with a bulletproof alien" and the places my mind went is probably why I didn't pay any attention to the rest of the episode.

- so lemme see if I have this right. Lena's mom visits the cave lady in her dreams but never once thought to visit her traumatized little daughter?

- am I supposed to be upset that they killed an abuser? Because I'm not

- so much porn shots of the town car driving up and down some sketch and lonely road

- did Google maps really lead Lena to some random cave?? Bruh

- Lena's scenes felt so disconnected for a minute I thought I was watching a completely different show.

- aluminum foil on the props lord did they just say fuck it and made a Dollarama run for the cheapest 200ft roll they could buy?

- Kara being a mentor to Nia for the first time since that Nia centric episode last season. God I hate it here.

- they do remember J'onn is a shape shifter right? Why do we need an image inducer? I get the little Lena is still with the team crumb but it's stupid.

- still no word on M'gann huh

- yo since the Luthors are technically perceived on Earth-Prime as "good", what trail of bodies is this bar lady talking about? This isn't public knowledge and Lena's mom only killed 1 dude who frankly deserved it.

- sigh. We're really doing this witch Lena thing then.

- kara stop trying to reach the good in people! Just stop. When has this bullshit EVER WORKED? Some people are just too far gone. Accept it.

- stronger together has truly lost meaning on this show

- Alex and Kara being so willing to hold much less use the PZ projector is utter bullshit. Also they just have that thing lying around for any grabby hands to take?

- what the actual fuck is Kara's arc this season? Or Alex? Or poor J'onn. The man has been seriously neglected.

- kara is supposed to be the most powerful being on the planet and yet this show continues to nerf her abilities. God I missed the days of S1 when Kara looked like she could fuck shit up.

- also when is kara going to be the focus of her own show again? Are we ever going to properly address Kara's issues? We got two episodes of James processing his trauma and only 5 mins of flashbacks in 6x08 for Kara and a few fleeting moments sprinkled across the last 5 seasons. Ridiculous. Like it won't diminish her as a character to seek professional help, it won't make her any less of a hero. Think of how impactful that would be and the message that could send about the importance of mental health.

- glad to see a promo for this important episode next week (I honestly can't wait - Kelly in a head wrap is so personal to me y'all) but please I'm begging you, do not make the issue of race come at the expense of kara's intelligence and awareness. She's a journalist, she's seen xenophobia and written about it, she's been friends with James for years. Kara knows about racism. Please show that.

Needless to say I did not enjoy this episode at all. I was happy to see Lena again but all her scenes were just hard to watch. I feel like so much of their very limited time is being wasted and there's still so many things they haven't touched upon yet. When exactly are we gonna get to it? Better question, will we ever get to it? Probably not.

Like I wanted to see the super friends communicating, leaning on each other, character growth, being truly stronger together but no. They're giving us literally anything but that and it's frustrating.

[mythicalartisttm]

I would very much like to hear about whatever you want to tell us about your Links

-Sky Floor

I have been enabled

AIGHT FELLAS LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS The name of the au is Courage^21 (courage to the twenty first power) based on the amount of Links I had counted out at the time of naming, but it's more like a redesign project I do for fun. The actual "get all the Links together" aspect of it is more akin to the startup of L\\\U with exploration of the hypothetical over an actual plot. I don't have the spare time or creative energy for that when I'm working on several original projects. Also there's Zeldas and whatever characters I feel like redesigning. This isn't a secret so I'll put it here, but also I'm one of the losttolegend mods and those Links + their stories fit in here, but not the other way around. Lore on them will be revealed over there. And I did get your ask from that blog I'm just trying to make more than one portrait to answer it, marker work is just taxing 😩 So, concisely put, LoZ redesign project I do when I'm not not working on Other Things. There's a timeline theory that I hold that's crucial to the au's structure but I'm not interested in explaining it atm But anyways, here's some info on some of the l a d s (in timeline order uwu) Stratos (Hero of the Sky / Hylia's Chosen Knight; Skyward Sword)

- The ever-sleepy hero is in his mid-twenties, but the guys he travels with call him Grandpa for the reasons of being ever-sleepy and slow. Stratos finds it endearing from the younger ones but is just a smidge annoyed when the older ones decide to pull that card

- His fatigue is bc he suffers from multiple sclerosis (a disease where the immune system eats away at nerve protection) and the lack of nerve protection REALLY messed him up during Lanayru. Between that and Demise, he's been shocked to the point of numbness. --

-Can often be found sipping a red potion to restore his nerve endings temporarily, but only in safe spaces

- His Zelda - I call her Zenith - sewed him little grips for his potion bottles. He loves them and his wife

- Local man with health problems and fatigue is, somehow, an adrenaline junky

- For some reason I think there's a point in SS in which you can bring materials for potions to the potion lady? Idk if that checks out but he does at least know how to make red potions and is trying to expand his knowledge

- Crow brain for any items that catch his interest

- Still wood-carves, still plays harp/lyre whatever

- I like the idea of SS Link not wanting to use a sword other than the Master Sword after his adventure so I'm gonna say he's putting those 30/20 eyes to good use and is his team's sniper

Ven (Hero of the Minish; The Minish Cap)

- No older than 14, Ven is a spriteley young hero who also happens to have a glaring resting face. He's worlds nicer than he looks

- Unlike the majority of the other heroes Ven is a morning person. And it gets on everyone's nerves when he front flips out of bed

- Somehow went through his whole adventure without finding a purple kinstone but hasn't given up home on finding one just yet

- Doesn't understand the concept of social classes. Zelda would run through the streets as she pleased and talked to everyone like it's the most natural thing in the world, and no one batted an eye at it. The people of that Hyrule treat their king a little more formally than his daughter when he comes out of the castle, but for the most part, the people of this time period are all too connected to the royal family for Ven to understand why many of the other Links see his normal as shocking. It also trips him up when they arrive in basically Every Other Castle Town

- Does not give a rats tail about money. A spender if left unsupervised. Not allowed to handle his team's rupees

- Has a snazzy new black hat with embroidery and matching gloves as gifts from the royal family (they're made of real sturdy stuff too)

- Still helps his grandpa in the forge and will continue to do so when he returns from this adventure

- A pretty quiet dude for the most part but has a tendency to comment on whatever conversations he overhears and is interested in Tock (Hero of Time; Ocarina of Time / Majora's Mask)

- Looks about 18, but is slightly older. Spent 7 months in Termina. The irony of the number is not lost on him

- Has had some time to become a little less bitter about… well, everything, but is still quite aloof. Malon and Talon have been a big help to him. MaLink is canon here btw

- Never stopped looking for Navi but has a sliver of peace knowing that Tatl is still around and in good company

- Doesn’t hang around the team(s) very often when they settle down for the evening and/or go into a town, and even then he stays to the back edge when they travel. If he’s not behind the treeline, that is. Kishin (LtL Fierce Deity) is the only one allowed relatively close for a good while

- Trying his darn best to not get attached but friendship is inevitable

- Invoking the popular "HoT can keep time down to the second" headcanon

- He uses this trick all the time and knows a lot about fairy magic

- Between his tendency to stay physically away from his team and his ability to talk with fairies, Tock actually makes a really good watchman There's obviously a lot more of them but it's getting late, so I'll say more about the others at a later date. And Stratos and Ven have appeared in my art tag before, if you want a peek at their designs

[praphit]

WandaVision: When you can’t let go of that robo-lovin.

So, I just finished watching "WandaVision", and I must say, right off the bat 

- I LOVED IT!

Disney Plus is finally paying off. I'm in the group of peeps who got DP, not for the mouse, but for the ones whom the mouse is in bed with, and most recently on Mickey's playtime Marvel List - Wanda Maximoff and her robo-boy toy VISION... or is that “THE Vision”? - that seems kinda ostentatious, but whatever.

When I first heard that Wanda was getting a series, I said "Who cares?" I don't care bout no Wanda! What has she been other than a weird pest?

Let's review:

She tried to kill the Avengers, she accidentally injures and kills innocent people, she was getting in the way, so Tony Stark had to get his CPU (Vision) to babysit her, she falls in love with the CPU - can we talk about how strange this is? I didn't say wrong, just different, cuz honestly, we may be headed there soon. That movie "Her" might be a reality with how tech is going these days.

But, imagine I come to your home and fall in love with your laptop (which messes everything up for you with all your devices and your social media), THEN (as Wanda did with Vision), I run off on some romantic journey with all of your devices. Imagine how Tony would have felt, if he was still with us.

She had one job when it came to Thanos, and it ended up not mattering.

Then, went full rage on the wrong Thanos.

Idk if that’s a look (Thanos) pain, release, of he’s listening to his jam. Kinda looks like he’s saying “JESUS”. But, Wanda is pissed.

Wanda: "You took everything from me!"

Thanos: "Lady, I don't even know you!"

I didn't care about Wanda. But, damn, Marvel is so good that in one episode they made me care; one trailer, really.

If you had not seen the trailer for this series, you might be confused by the first episode. 

You might even ask yourself - "What the bleep is this nonsense?!" We want heroes vs villains. We want super-powered explosions. We want capes, ridiculously tight clothes, bulky armor, and anything else that makes no sense to fight in.

You're giving me "Bewitched"?

I DID see the trailer, so I knew going in that it would be a slow burn with some nostalgia, some quirks, and some eeriness; right up my alley.

The change in Tv decade styles btw *chef kiss*

I figured that they'd be trapped in some mysterious, magical world - which they are...

Unless you're super geeky with the funny books, there's no way you'll see what's coming in this mystery.

And it IS a mystery, not only to the audience, but for the characters involved in this show. Don't nobody know what the hell is going on.

But, LaWanda and Vishawn 

(sorry, I just wanted to use this pic - Ha! Y'all are crazy.)had help figuring things out:

Rambo

Yeah, it's actually Monica Rambeau, 

but... admit it, some of you kept thinking about Rambo too, right?? No offense to this actress, but I'd rather see old man Sly play Rambo, and HIM be in this mysterious WandaVision town. Let's get Disney a lil bloody. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

Marvel WILL BE venturing into multiple universes soon, so perhaps Rambo finds his way to team up with The Punisher? Huh?? YEAH!

But, no... Rambeau (meh No personality, but whatever).

Randall Park - 

He's that person we all know who has made us laugh so much in life, that they don't even need to say anything anymore; you look at them and laugh. I love this dude!

Kat Dennings - 

I remember liking her more in the Thor movies.  I found her annoying, this time around.   She joins the mystery to figure tech stuff out, and she's a doctor or something (don't you forget it!). She also asks the team she just meets to get her some coffee, and acts like they're disrespecting HER, by their lack of response. I know she's a doctor and all, but damn! Imagine some electrician comes to your place to serve YOU, they're condescending to you, and then  they ask you for some coffee. Get the hell outta here!

Oh, and there's a dude named “Director Dick”. That's my name for him, but the name fits.

The people in this town are acting out as if they've been scripted for some show. And all of these characters, AND US, get to figure it out together - through antics from different times in Tv culture. 

Times sure were different back in the day:

No social justice issues implanted or cursing or sex or drugs... now, I'm not saying it was a better time, just a different one :) A time when dad jokes ruled! Simple times! Ignorance was bliss. But, it kinda wasn't - not really.

It's like having an animal die on your property somewhere, and it starts to stink. You COULD find the truth of the stench... or light candles everywhere. Some really strong candles - maybe some of those Gwyneth Paltrow candles.

Though the stench might get covered up, the problem is still there. At some point, your kids could find the dead rotting animal... maybe start playing with it... you get the point.

In this show, the townspeople's minds have been taken over by someone or something, and it's torturous for them. So... bliss on the surface, but... not so much, going deeper. I tell you all of this, plus great production in each epi, a good slow-burn mystery, and fun with comic characters in a way we haven't seen before on screen, and hell yeah - Grade: A series.

Now... spoilers.

You might want to leave now.

People, Wanda is the villain here. I'm not sure if that's the message the writers are trying to convey or not, but I don't care; she is the clear villain here.

Here’s Wanda reading some Hell book, conjuring some dark spirits - nbd.

We are rooting for her throughout this show; even after we find out that she has been (even if not maliciously) controlling every one, we still root for her.

I'm not saying that's bad, but we can't forget about what she has done! Remember, I said that the mind control was torturous for the townspeople.

There's a very emotional moment at the end of this series between Wanda and Vision, and between them and their kids (yeah, they have kids... that's a whole other thing). This moment is well done and touching. There's even a bad ass fight between Wanda and the "true... villain"? - of this story. I'll get to her in a sec (There’s a badass Vision fight scene as well).

I loved all of that! But, at the end of the day...

I know Wanda is grieving and all, we all grieve, but we all don't, in our grief, take a whole town hostage, torture the people, all while playing house with our family. That's kinda sick, no??

Are we doing a girl-power thing? or a “witches are people too” thing? or “but she’s doing it all for her family” thing (yeah, they’re not actually real, but whatever)? I don’t know.

I'm not sure that we know what a villain is anymore. It used to be clear - the guy with the beard was the bad guy, or the guy wearing the black outfit was the bad guy, or the people who aren't Americans are the bad guys :)

But, movies like "Joker" and "Deadpool" and Harley's joint have confused some.

Who else would be the villain? There's a character, the villain (i guess), a witch named Agatha Harkness, played by Kathryn Hahn

Here she is saying “I’m the villain? Really? What about her?!!”

   - she's excellent btw; def the highlight of this show; her and Paul Bettany's hair game.

But, let's compare:

Agatha: 

betrays her coven back in the day, sure, but why you bringing up old shit? 

She allows Wanda to play out this fantasy for a while, and even played along. She could have just killed her when she was ignorant; that's what I would have done. She eventually shows Wanda the truth (granted, she then wants Wanda's power, but hey, everything has a price. And for all we know, she would have used all of that power to... cure the worlds diseases or something... though prob not:). Annnd maybe she killed an imaginary puppy. Convo for another time: if you kill something that's not real, does it matter??

That's it!

She didn't (like Wanda): abduct a town, torture its people, bring Vision back from the dead (kinda), endanger soldiers who were just doing their jobs, create weird fantasies (And did she have sexy time with previously dead, fake Vision? This thing gets even weirder if she did. But, let's not go down that path.) Oh, and she magically punted a black woman (Rambo) the length of a football field just for her asking Wanda some questions.

When the townspeople finally regain their minds (Lord knows how long it's been), they look at her with disdain, and I don't blame them.  And what does Wanda do?? - shrug, put on a hoodie, and fly off - to break into somebody's home and read some devil book.

Where’s cancel culture in this universe? 

I know she made us feel, but I ask again, who's the villain here?

Still Grade A stuff for me (again, I loved this!), but c'mon, people.

We get a glimpse of Captain Marvel 2 as well. My fingers are crossed. I actually liked the first movie. But, many others did not, and one of the reasons - Captain Marvel doesn't have much of a personality, and another - she's too powerful (no risk).

So, to answer the critics, we have Monica Rambeau - another ridiculously super-powered hero, with no personality. So, two unrelatable characters flying around in space, as Sam L Jackson tries not to curse. But, if Marvel can make me care about evil ass Wanda, I'll still hold out hope for Capt Marvel 2.

[andoqin]

Sisyphus: The Myth Ep 1- A Dissection

Okay, so I’ve had some time to process what I subjected myself to today, so I’ve decided to list everything in episode 1 that is just completely insane and an example of how Not To Do it. 

I’m not an expert on Film Theory, but i’ve watched a shitton of media, plus I watch a lot of Youtube Video essays, so clearly I’m half

The episode starts off okay enough even if we get a weird exposition dump and “tense” parting scene between a father and daughter. 

We start in what presumably is the time travel terminal where people stand around in pyjamas waiting to get through.

Okay, fairly interesting if unspectacular but I’m guessing that’s the point, this is now an industry. We zoom in and get this line that made me laugh, because well...

a) humans are living creatures and b) the amount of microbial organisms on human skin is estimated to be at hundreds of billions, or more. And this kind of time travel/teleportation is always hinky because well if you think about it, how does that even work without getting into The Fly territory. I’m willing to cut this drama some slack here and maybe it’s an awkward translation besides. 

This gets... exceedingly long, but if you want a (too) in-depth summary of what happens in ep 1 and why it doesn’t work (for me) read on :D.

But then the real trouble starts, because PSH’s dad (I’m not bothering to learn the character names) says he’s not going with her and this is apparently very sudden. He then makes her repeat some lines that are supposed to create tension? Be exposition? Idk.

“Don’t trust anyone.” 

“Don’t get involved with [CSW]’s character.”

PSH get’s teary eyed, because her dad is not coming with her, but the problem with scenes like these is: I don’t know either of them and do not have an emotional connection to their parting. Sure, it tells us something about PSH (she likes her dad and is worried about him) but I also don’t know how important her dad is going to be down the line. So when PSH asks about her mom and what if her mom dies and her dad just replies everyone dies at some point I’m a bit weirded out, but not to the point where I necessarily want to know more. 

We then smashcut to PSH waking up in a world that’s more similar to ours and she does what her dad told her to do. She grabs her (very inconvenient) suitcase and runs along the tracks she woke up next to. We see that she is somewhat surprised by the running trains and also hardy enough to track on despite bleeding feet. 

Alas, creepy people in gas-masks with guns and drones are waiting for her, so she runs even harder and after some near misses (they are able to track her by some sort of radiation meter) makes it to safety. 

On top of a train car that the TWO DOZEN PEOPLE WITH GUNS AND DRONES are too stupid to check apparently. Clearly if she’s not under the train car, the detecting devices must be mistaken. So she just chills on top of the train car, sitting on her suitcase and those goons trundle off after 5 minutes presumably like they’re Assassin’s Creed Enemy NPCs.

Now we get introduced to CSW in the most insane scene i’ve ever witnessed. Honestly. 

He is just ~chilling in 1st class in an airplane, filming a douche who is rude to the plane staff and epically owning him because he’s So Smart.

First of all, I don’t know what that has to do with soggy noodles(which the other asshole complained about), since by that measure the noodles should be *undercooked* (lower boiling point means longer cooking time after all) and secondly good lord I already hate this guy. He then proceeds to Epically Own (tm) with a convenient Forbes (sorry “Eorbes”) Magazine that he is on the cover of and flirts with the plane hostess. 

So right off the bat, our impressions of CSW are supposed to be: He’s Cool (look at his hoodie and general bearing), he’s Smart (debatable), he’s nice to The Help (I guess???) stands up to bullies, and most importantly he’s fucking rich. I guess we’re also supposed to get the impression that he’s arrogant, maybe a bit of an asshole, but still cool and everything. 

If this had been where the scene had stopped I would have rolled my eyes and then just continued on watching. But no, the writers thought: “Schooling some sexist rich asshole isn’t enough to show off how Cool and Smart and Cocky our main character is. Also he likes the ladies.” Look at him, he’s Tony Stark only from South Korea!!!

So shortly after he sits down, and we have the first moment with CSW where he connected with me emotionally (he sees the ghost of his dead brother and the way he says “because ... you’re dead.” and I thought OOOH this I can work with), the cockpit windshield is hit by what looks to be a suitcase (DUN DUN DUUUN) and something crashes into one of the engines, causing it to explode and catch fire. 

The pilot is knocked out and unconscious and even the co-pilot loses consciousness (after conveniently unlocking the cockpit lock). CSW is the only one who goes to check on the pilots, having grabbed a fanny pack from his onboard luggage and quickly assessing the situation he revives the copilot and welds the hole in the windshield shut with some ducttape out of his fannypack and a plastic notepad. IT’S VERY EFFECTIVE! They did it in WW2, or so CSW tells us so you know it’s true.

I’m not sure that ‘s how plane windshields and duct tape and plastic notepad thingies work, but well the plane is still in freefall we have more important things to worry about :).

The electrics are all on the fritz, the copilot cannot get control of the plane and so CSW takes a seat in the captains chair (having foisted the captain out of it, not even he is so crass to sit on some unconscious dude’s lap i guess) and quickly calculates that they have 3 min and 30 secs for CSW to restart the electronics before the plane crashes. So he hands the co-pilot HIS PHONE with a timer on it for 3.5 minutes so the co-pilot can tell him when 30 seconds have passed. Instead of idk, contacting Air Traffic Control or ANYONE he just sits there and lets his big boy brain work. 

After 30 seconds he has an idea, because he’s Tony Stark-ing it up like crazy now and can just figure out the electronics of a plane cockpit in 30 seconds, but guess what. HIS PHONE RINGS. AND HE ANSWERS IT, because he’s devil-may-care and “haha look at this, friend, i’m in the cockpit of a crashing plane we have 2 minutes before i’m dead.”

Said friend is calling him from the board meeting of CSWs company, bc of course the board is ~unhappy with CSWs antics (I gotta say I can’t blame them) and the friend doesn’t believe it at first, when he says he’s in a crashing plane, but checks on the news to see it’s true. 

I ... I don’t think news work like that, we’ve gone 5 minutes from the initial troubles till now, there won’t be news reports all over the media yet. THEY’RE NOT EVEN TALKING TO AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL YET. Hell he even tells his friend to call 119 or the airport for help. I just... I’m very forgiving of a lot of things in a drama when it comes to writing. I’m willing to ignore obvious blindspots in a narrative, if I think the narrative is strong enough to support whatever it’s trying to say. At this point what could calling the police or the airport do, they have like 90 seconds left...

I don’t know what the writers are trying to tell me with this scene though? It’s so stupid, so unrealistic and CSW is so unpleasant and weird in it, because he tells his friend that he has to confess to taking out the friend’s college girlfriend on a date while they were still together. 

Well since the drama is longer than one ep, they do make it out alive, but the fact that the co-pilot managed to safely LAND the plane (which is insane to me) gets skipped over and we just get news snippets that herald CSW as a hero who singlehandedly saved the planes passengers. 

We then get to see him in his natural habitat “convalescing” in his giant apartment where he is being showered with gifts by worshippers basically. He continues to be an asshole, but his friend tells him, one more stunt and the board will kick him. 

The board will kick the guy who just saved a plane full of lives????? Yeah right, I’m sorry but that’s just fucking stupid from the writers. Why would anyone do that, even if the board hates him, kicking him now, when he’s literally a national hero would be the worst thing they could do for the stock prices. It’s only here so the writers can shoehorn in that CSW is close to OD-ing on pharmaceuticals and that the board wants to monitor his therapy and they have a way of “forcing” him to comply. 

Also he has what looks to be a dental x-ray machine next to his bed. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but lol what’s up with these set design choices. 

His friend tells him to go to fucking therapy or else and the next scene he is actually at a therapist. 

Who’s his ex-girlfriend (they have a whole tangent about that).

Who writes a report about his therapy to the board. 

But hey at least the therapy gets us a flashback of the last time he saw his brother. Big surprise he was an asshole to him as well, so no wonder he’s traumatised by that.

After therapy he *conveniently* runs into the co-pilot who’s incoherent and beaten up and hands CSW a usb-drive. It contains video of the cockpit on the day of the crash and it’s obvious what struck the plane was a suitcase and what crashed into the engine was a human being (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN maybe someone forgot to convert feet to meters when setting up the time travel thingamabob).

As he looks at the (very pixelated) figure of the person about to crash into the engine, he suddenly sees his brother’s face and honestly this scene just made me laugh? I know it’s supposed to be haunting and more evidence of CSW’s deep trauma, but I guess at this point my brain was just completely checked out. 

And that’s what we end our introductory phase of CSW. What the fuck was that plane thing even for. To show us he’s callous in the face of danger? He’s an asshole even when he’s about to die, so he’s got a long way to go? He’s haunted by the spectre of his dead brother and the guilt he feels for not being there when he died? I got a lot of that before we had the insane Plane Adventure!!! There are literally millions of ways they could have gotten this information to the viewers and not made an absurd spectacle of the plot that means that everything afterwards just feels lame, because you already had the insanity that was this plane ride, so it can only go down tension wise.

Now we’re back to PSH, but honestly her parts are kinda boring and bog-standard “UwU I’m unfamiliar with this way of life, I don’t even know how to eat a banana (that looks *nothing* like a banana btw), so I just eat it peel and root and all. Also I’m from the Future, that means I obviously know todays LOTTERY NUMBERS.”

I know kdramas like clichés and tropes, I like them too, that’s why I watch kdramas, but you gotta give me a bit more if you want me to at least invest in PSH, because I’m sure as hell not invested in CSW. 

She gets taken in by some guy, because we can’t have her homeless all the time, and she needs someone to explain this world to her and also how to eat bananas properly and she opens her suitcase. It’s got both future-tech-y looking stuff and a pink notepad that seems to hold specific information on what needs to happen on certain days. 

She also makes this expression and I don’t know if we’re supposed to laugh because she’s not threatening or if we’re supposed to laugh because she’s not threatening, but we know she’s gonna kick ass later, haha you just thought she was harmless. I gotta say it’s the former for me.

Rarrr fierce Elite Warrior PSH coming to get you.

She tries to get in touch with CSW, already breaking one of her dad’s three commandments. Oh, I guess staying with this guy breaks the other two. Welp, so much for that then. What even was the point of that first scene...

Anyway she tries to get in touch with CSW but ofc you cant just call the richest person ever (Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos would get very angry voicemails from me if that were the case), but she manages to get his voicemail. Or a voicemail he spoke for. But oh no, she is just Not Familiar with this world and keeps having a conversation with the voicemail as if it’s CSW himself. 

CSW who has scienced his way to finding the suitcase that crashed the plane and as she begs his voicemail not to open the suitcase, of course he opens it and gasp the combination for the suitcase lock is his birthday!!! Something his brother used to do!!! 

MAYBE THAT MAN WAS HIS BROTHER AFTER ALL!!!! OH NO!! 

But thank fuck the episode is over now.

VERDICT:

Just no. Don’t do this. The latter half of the show is more standard fare, but the first 25 minutes destroy any capability of this show making sense. I can see what the writers are trying to do, but it’s so hamfisted and badly written I’m just not willing to go along.

If you want a show that also has a fantasy action aspect (and this show is all fantasy no matter how much it tries to science it up), watch LUCA instead. That show at least knows how to set a tone, how to get us invested in the characters and does exposition in a way that doesn’t feel obtrusive. 

[astranne]

Life is a bitch, but Marinette is the bigger one

This Oneshot is inspired by @leolupus who requested this idea to @virgil-is-a-cutie. I wrote this on the phone and didn’t really correct it (heh, shame on me). I know it’s short, but maybe I’m writing a second part. Or if someone want’s to take a swing, feel free! But tag me, I love such ideasss

I’m also tagging the fews who commented about the idea.

@unmaskedagain @sabrina414 @kris-pines04 @valeks-princess @resting-confused-bitchface @iamablinkmarvelarmy

The second part would be probably about Lila and some Alya salt? Idk... I have many other works. They first need to be finished

...

Marinette wanted to throw herself of the Eifel Tower. It wasn’t because she was bored, heck no! She did much better stuff, when she‘s bored. But after this shitty day, she just wanted to sleep. Forever.

Let‘s start in the morning. A new school year, a new start. She put her hair in boxer braids, just because it looked amazing with her new leather jacket and the sunglasses her Nona gifted her a few weeks ago. She wore red and black today, combined her sporty but rocky outfit with a golden necklace.

It was a good morning, she sleept more than three hours, but still finished another project of hers. She wasn’t late, well, she was, but not that late. But it wasn’t entirely her fault. And old man was almost runned over by a car. She helped him, not because she cared, she didn’t want to come in a mess. Her teacher, Mme. Bustier just sighed, when Marinette walked in the middle of the lesson in the room. Normally she would protest and punish her student, but Marinette was on the top of class and doesn’t listen to authorities. At all.

Marinette nodded at Chloé, fist bumped Alix and Kim, who grinned at her. She sat besides her best friend, Alix and ignored Bustier‘s request to sit next to the new girl.

“Well, that‘s just rude.“ Chloé scoffed at the redhead love child of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.

“That‘s Dupain-Cheng for you. Don‘t piss her off, you‘ll reget it.“

“Geez, I feel the love there, Barbie girl.“ The blonde rolled her eyes, but tried to hide her smirk. She would never admit it, but the two were friends. Somehow.

“Marinette, we talked about this-“ The said girl just snorted and waved her off.

“Yeah, yeah. I need to be more respectful bla bla bla, I need to be in time, some more bla bla. I still don‘t care. Just 'cause we talked about some shit, doesn’t mean I’ll do it.“ Marinette smirked at her teacher, who just sighed and continued with her lesson.

—-

“Yo, Mariposa. What‘s up with Barbie?“ Marinette leaned against a wall, her wall, her place. Everybody in the school knew, that this was her spot. From there she could see nearly everything. Like Chloé‘s pissed and somehow sad face. Rose stopped walking, Juleka besides her and went to Marinette.

“Hey Marinette! I think Chloé waited for a friend, but he didn‘t come. It‘s so sad!“ Rose got tears in her eyes, while Juleka mumbled something.

“Ah, yeah. Totally forgot 'bout this. Thanks, Mariposa. Rock zombie, take care of the Rose fairy.“ Marinette didn‘t wait for an answer and stalked towards Chloé. While she never met this Adrien Agreste, she knew enough. His father was an asshole, a big one and Chloé hated him wholeheartedly. Even her mother, the big bad bat of the fashion world seemed to reget to make him famous. One day, she will punch Gabriel Agreste in his face. Just because. And his desings weren’t even that good.

“Barbie, we need to talk. Now.“ Marinette took of her sunglasses and stared at her friend.

“Yes. Sabrina, wait here!“ The two girls walked back to where Marinette came from, to the wall. And as everybody knew, that this was her spot, they also knew, that this was now a private conversation. If you tried to listen, you’ll die.

“Spill the tea, sissy.“ Chloé sighed and crossed her arms, while Marinette began to munch some blueberries.

“Adrikins should‘ve come to school, but he just wrote me. He will spend another year in homeschooling! Do you belive that? Maybe I can convice Daddy to do something....“

“Big Agreste is such a bitch. You want me to slap him?“ The blonde snorted, she knew Marinethe would do that.

“While I would absolutely enjoy this, Dupain-Cheng, just like many others, it doesn’t solve the problem.“ Marinette hummed in agreement. Gabriel Agreste was powerful, but she also had connections. Big problem, she was still a 'kid', Big Agreste would totally blame this on her.

“I could talk with B, ya know. Timboy would love to blackmail someone. Maybe Lucifer could take out his katana, if you want.“

“I still have no idea, how you became friends with the fucking Wayne‘s, Dupain-Cheng.“

“Well, Barbie, this goin‘ to be my secret. Forever“, grinned Marinette.

...

“You want me o to a magical girl transformation and fight against big rocky rebel Thor?” The fairy, Tikki, nodded

Marinette snorted. “Yeah, not happening.“

“What? But-“

“We’re not having this discussion right now, lil’ bug. But I promise you, I’m no hero material.”

“But your friend is in danger, whole Paris is in danger-”

„Listen here, little fairy. I‘m doing this only one time and then you take me to this Guardian dude. I definitely need to talk with him about his choices.“ Tikki nodded and becan to explain everything.

...

Marinette, in her Ladybug suit, wanted to kill this Hawkmoth dude. Seriously, Hawkmoth? Couldn‘t he pick a better name like her? She named herself Lady Red, because fucking shit no- what was this costume? And the choice of the weapon? She really needed to talk with this Guardian. And then Chat Noir. Oh boy- who gave him the power of destruction? When he started to flirt with her, she almost snapped. Well, she did, but it didn’t help.

When she finally defeated Stoneheart, she will totally make a new nickname for rebel Thor now, she walked to a reporter and his camera man.

„Listen, you creepy Hawkmoth dude. I have no idea, why you doing this shit, but I know some heroes and I‘m definitely calling Red Hood to beat some sense in you. And B-man, ya know, the scary big bat of Gotham. He will totally find out who you are and send you to Arkham... because what the fuck? You use a kid for your plans? Are you dumb?“

...

When she finally talked with the Guardian, who was the old man in the morning, she really wanted to kill herself now. She talked with Damian, who panicked (he tries to denying it), just like all her other friends, who didn‘t life in Paris. Alix was sitting in her room, when she came back and told her, she choose a badass name.

“How did you know?” Alix snorted and looked amused. 

“I know how you talk, Mari. I’m pretty sure, Chloé knows too. So, no surprise there.”

She really wanted to sleep now.

...

It took Marinette a week to defeat Hawkmoth, who was revealed as Gabriel Agreste. She had some help, but the Big dumb Agreste didn’t even really try to hide his villian persona. Really, butterflies in the logo? Buying all the butterflies farms in Paris? And all the shit for his almost dead wife. It turned out, the peacock miraculous just needed to be fixed, which was easy for the Guardian, who she named old turtle. 

It also turned out, that Adrien Agreste was chosen as the wielder of the Cat Miraculous, but wasn’t a true holder, not like her. Old turtle took the ring back, but let her keep Tikki and the earrings. She started to patrol in Paris, trained with the Batfam and went on some missions with the Young Justice or the Titans. 

Her life became more chaotic, but did she care? Nah, not really.

[completelypeccable]

More Than One Way to Skin a Cat

Daminette fic

Is this a crack fic? It’s probably a crack fic idk sorryyyyy but I wrote it when I was really tired and the concept was hilarious to me.

————————————————

The Justice League received an anonymous tip and Batman was the first to go to Paris. He saw the way the akumas infected the innocent due to the acts of a butterfly-themed terrorist and immediately called for backup.

He and Tim tracked down Ladybug and the Black cat. What they found, frankly, disgusted them.

The level of power manipulation and sexual harassment made their blood boil. Chat noir repeatedly showed up late to fights, flirted obnoxiously, then stormed off when his advances were rejected. The only times he agreed to help were when Ladybug allowed him to throw himself all over her. Her disgust and frustration were palpable, but tabloid magazines praised the relationship and fueled his behavior.

When they joined the heroes in meetings, he consistently talked over her, negated her opinions, and generally interfered so little got done. It took Nightwing coming and actually losing his temper (a terrifying sight) for him to shut up.

But the self righteous twat was back at it by the next meeting.

“Ladybug, please,” Red Robin begged, after watching him demand a kiss to use his cataclysm on one of the toughest battles they had observed so far. “Why don’t you get rid of him? Can’t you take his miraculous?”

She sighed, rubbing her fingers through her hair. “Don’t you think I would have thought of that? I can’t. Without balance, the miraculous don’t work. They can corrupt the holders. And I’m not the guardian, I can’t just demand it. You’ve seen it, he doesn’t listen. Not to me, not to anyone.”

When Damian Wayne went undercover as a Parisian student, the tale only got worse.

“That Agreste asshole treats her horribly. He’s a coward and a fake,” he growled. “A regular 17-year-old baby.”

“Wait,” Tim asked incredulously, “He knows?”

“Of course not, he’s a vapid idiot who doesn’t understand he is dealing with the most wonderful person alive.”

“Uh oh,” Jason crowed, upside down on a chair. “Sounds like someone’s stepped in it.”

“Stepped in what.”

Dick cartwheeled by the door. “Love, Dami.”

His face turned as red as the spotted suit and Tim laughed himself off the chair.

...

Damian hated the catboy. He hated the way he took advantage of Marinette. Sweet Marinette, who warned him about Lila, offered her friendship, and fed him bakery treats when she found out he skipped breakfast. Marinette who held his hand when she got too overwhelmed and managed to fend off an akuma in the middle of a panic attack. Who held the city of Paris on her shoulders without complaint. Damian wanted to tear Chat’s eyeballs from his head. But he couldn’t. Because he would turn on them in an instant if he thought someone was taking his prize.

What could they do?

Well, Robin had an idea.

...

Ladybug walked into the conference room with a green face and a leather jacket. “Aw, my lady, you know what it does to me, how puurfect that suit hugs your-“

“Oh my gosh!” A voice gasped, and Chat was knocked away onto his own feet.

Ladybug found herself pulled between the human walls of Red Hood and Nightwing, who winked at her.

She just felt confused.

“Ohmygoshohmygosh are you Chat Noir?”

Robin babbled, high pitched and with big facial expressions. Chat winked and he squealed.

Red Robin was really glad he was recording this from multiple angles.

Robin grabbed his biceps. “You’re like the coolest superhero even, your so brave and awesome, and your cataclysm is like the best thing I’ve ever seen!”

Chat preened and sent a pointed look towards Ladybug. He threw an arm around Robin and gestures broadly. “It’s hard being Paris’s savior, I’ll admit. But with perks like that hottie, who can complain?”

“Oh. My. Gosh. Are you, and her, together together?”

“You could say that,” Chat winked suggestively.

Ladybug swallowed the vomit in her mouth.

Robin grabbed his phone. “Could I get a picture, please, that would be just, so cool.”

“Of course, anything for a fan.” They took several poses and pictures before Batman cleated his throat.

“I think it’s time we start the meeting.”

“Whatever, buzz kill. Hey kid, wanna sit by me?”

“Of course, Mr. Noir, sir!” Robin began pumping his hand enthusiastically. A handshake with both of his around Chat’s one. “It was so great to meet you and you’re such a great hero!”

Chat soaked up the praise like a sponge in the desert.

“And you’re so cool-“

He fluffed his hair with his free hand.

“-and I’m such a big fan-“

He grabbed at Marinette as she walked to her seat. She looked horrified and smacked him away.

“and- wait a minute.” Robin’s voice dropped as the transformation did. Chat’s face went from smug to shocked to outraged in a second. “No. That’s right. That’s Cat Woman. Not Mange Baby.”

“You thief!” Agreste shrieked, jumping forward. “That’s my-“

Damian punched him in the nose. He stumbled back, falling onto his rump.

“You- you!”

“Adrien,” a shaky voice called. Marinette paled on the other side of the table. “You- you’re Chat? This whole time, you’ve been the one...”

Adrien tried to interrupt and Robin kicked his ribs.

A black blob zapped out of the ring and floated around Robin’s head.

“Not bad, kid,” It purred. “Not bad.”

It then turned toward Adrien and growled. The dark energy around it grew, and the growl vibrated long and deep, resonating in their very bones.

Ladybug was the only one that remained calm. The bat clan staggered backwards.

“Adrien Agreste,” the god boomed. “You have abused the power of the miraculous. You have behaved with disgust and contempt toward your responsibility and partner. For your crimes, you must be punished.”

“No, please,” he whimpered, cowered on the floor. “Please, I-“

“You will be judged by the degree you have judged others,” the dark vortex spread, whipping around the room and blowing papers about. The lights flickered.

“Adrien Agreste, show your value.”

A golden glow lit in his chest, dragging him upwards. Just as he left the ground, green smoke poured out of his mouth and pooled around him in a ghoulish fog.

The golden glow was soft and the fog quickly blocked it out.

“Enough!” The thunder rolled. “You are unworthy of the black cat miraculous and a traitor to its vow. You will be stripped of your gifts, and punished for your crimes.”

Adrien gasped, and the vortex swept away the fog. Chairs flew up and swung around the room.

Black poured into his eyes, nose, and mouth, slamming him into the wall. He screamed once, but the influx quickly choked it out. His eyes rolled back and he slumped to the ground.

The black vortex shrank back into the small blob. Everything fell back onto the floor.

They all stared as the blob floated toward Ladybug.

“No!” Robin yelled. “Mari-“

The blob leapt forward and she cradled him against her cheek.

“Thank you, Plagg,” she whispered, kissing his nose.

“I’m so sorry, sweets. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. What happened to Adrien?”

“All traces of the miraculous have been erased from his mind. He knows nothing. If he tries to remember, he will feel nothing but pain and failure.”

Marinette nodded, placing Plagg on her shoulder, where he curled into a ball and purred. The bats watched as she made her way around the table and knelt in front of Robin, who had scrambled to his knees.

She smiled, small and sincere.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Robin was so caught in her eyes, he didn’t move, even as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek.

He sat there blinking as she stood up and turned toward the rest of them.

“Thank you for all your help. I need to find a holder for the black cat miraculous, but in the meantime we can still search for Hawkmoth.”

And the hunt began.

//she totally knew it was Damian

//Tim got it all on camera

// Dick has to eventually help him off the floor

//he makes several reaction images out of the whole thing

//he a flustered boi

//Marinette is happy to have competent help

[ribcage-rodents]

Post two

Diana

Diana smiled indulgently resting a hand on Donna’s shoulder.

“Hello Donna, it is wonderful to see you again, I have some exciting news.”

Donna

She fidgeted awkwardly trying to act like she hadn't been eavesdropping.

Diana

“You are finally going to see the Man’s World. Go pack your bags, we will leave once you say your goodbyes. We can discuss the rules of your mission in my plane.”

Her excitement was only shown by the joyful flash in her eyes.

Donna attempted to keep her face in a soft smile with her eyes telling her emotions

much like her older sister does, as she made her way towards her home.

Scene 6

Bruce sat at the kitchen counter a cup of steaming coffee in one hand, while his face rested heavily in the other.

Alfred

Alfred curved around Bruce to top off his drink and use a rag to clean up a puddle of coffee Bruce had spilled while complaining about League business.

“I don’t understand why you can’t just let the boy have friends, master Bruce.”

Bruce

Bruce looked up exasperated from where his face was resting.

“Because Dick is more skilled and intelligent than all of those other ‘heroes’. I don’t want him to be influenced by those immature, idiotic, side kicks. Who knows what one of those older kids could encourage him to do!? He’s much safer at home.”

He said moving his hand sharply to the left spilling coffee all over the counter.

Alfred sighed deeply moving to clean up the coffee, sending Bruce a disapproving stare while he sheepishly averted his gaze. Dick was upstairs in his beautiful, pink-marbled bathroom leaning over the counter worriedly applying concealer to purple bruises on his neck as Tate Agile played in the background, he stopped for a moment to read to a text from ‘science lab partner’.

Dick

“Come on dude, it's not that big of a deal Bs never gonna know”

Dick sighed becoming even more concerned, he glanced in the mirror frowning at his reflection before replying.

“Idk Babs, I’d be in a ton of trouble if B found out”

He stared at his phone for a couple of seconds then added,

“Especially since you’re like a little too old for me”

Dick’s hand squeezed around his phone as he shut his eyes, he counted to ten silently before exhaling. Pretending he wasn’t waiting for her response he went back to covering up the bruises on his neck, despite his eyes flicking back over to the black screen every couple of seconds.

Yet when the phone finally pinged he hesitated, it wasn't until the second text arrived that he actually answered.

“No, our age difference really isn’t that big, if you think about it people get married with like a 10 year diff.”

“Are you gonna come out w me tonight?”

Dick sighed softly, his cheeks lighting up pink.

“Yeah I got some free time around 12-2am. But we’re just gonna hang out ok, just like a little bit of kissing. No making out or hickies or anything.”

His phone pinged again.

“Haha yeah sure that's what you said last time.”

“What's up w your schedule man? 12-2am is so random.”

“You might not need sleep but I do, next time we should just meet up during like second period or something.”

Dick’s frown deepened.

“I’m not skipping school. I think you’re a bad influence on me:(“

“You know we don’t have to do anything when we meet up we could just cuddle or something.”

He paused before deleting the last message.

“Ha, maybe I like making you into a bad boy”

“See you tonight, maybe I’ll make you break into the school to find the best secret makeout place!”

Dick set his phone face down, scratching at his arm he went back to covering up those bruises.

Scene 7

Wally was in his tiny little bathroom that looks like it was designed in the 1950’s. He was leaning over the tiled blue and turquoise countertop messing with his forever windswept hair. There was a loud banging at the door as Wally dragged a brush through the birdsnest on top of his head.

Wally

There was a brief pause before Wally once again dragged the brush through his messy hair. The banging returned causing Wally to jerk smacking his hand against the counter, he turned and opened the door staring annoyed at his uncle.

“What?”

Barry

Barry stared back a pleased smirk on his face leaning against the door frame.

“Come on kiddo, we’re gonna be late.”

He reached out and plucked the brush from Wally’s hand as he spoke.

Wally

Wally did a full body groan leaning back, he shot one last mournful look at himself in the mirror before he moved towards the door, his uncle disappearing into his room. Wally sighed rummaging through his room for his suit. “What's the point of having super speed if you’re gonna be late to everything?”

Barry

Barry zipped over to his nephew ruffling his hair, effectively ruining any improvement Wally had managed.

“I ask myself the same question everyday when I show up late for work.”

Flying down the streets of central the two speedsters made haste, two flashes of red and yellow sped down the streets and around buildings. Stopping quickly at a hotdog vendor, handing the man a red credit card decorated with tiny lightning bolts, the city's way of thanking the heroes. Before getting back on the road.

Flash

“So kiddo, are ya nervous?”

Flash called stuffing a whole hot dog in his mouth.

Kidflash

Kidflash made a contemplative noise, looking down at his feet.

“Well yeah, I’m not exactly good at making friends,... or being cool.”

Both speedsters came to a halt, Kidflash resumed looking down self-deprecatingly, shoving the last 12 hotdogs into his mouth. Flash slipped behind him resting a hand on his shoulder.

Flash

“Don’t worry kiddo, just be yourself they’re gonna love you!”

He punctuated his statement by ruffling his nephew’s hair one last time. The two then proceeded, one at a time to enter the transporter.

Scene 8

Kidflash stepped into the JL headquarters quickly moving to catch up with his uncle as he sped towards the monitor room.

Flash

“Welcome to the Justice League break room!”

Flash called happily swinging his arms open to fully display the room. He leaned in close,

“It used to just be the monitor room but we all started to hang around here, mostly because Wonder Woman and Supes like to annoy Bats.”

He said with a nod.

Wonder Girl sat alone on the edge of one of the ugly green couches, sipping on a mug of herbal tea periodically.

Flash

Flash bumped his shoulder against Kidflash’s, whispering an encouraging,

“You got this kiddo!”

The Flash then departed, walking over towards Batman and Wonder Woman chatting by the supercomputer both holding steaming cups of coffee.

Kidflash

Taking a deep breath and gathering all his courage Kidflash confidently strided over to where Wonder Girl was perched. Looming over her he plastered on his best ‘Wall-man’ smirk. Wonder Girl cocked a single eyebrow as a supercilious look settled on her lips.

“Hey gorgeous, I hope you brought your library card because you can totally check me out!”

He flinched expecting to be hit or splashed by her tea.

Wonder Girl

“Wow, I’m already regretting this,”

Wonder Girl huffed glaring at Kidflash

“Maybe I should’ve stayed home,”

She mumbled quietly to herself.

Speedy

Speedy came up behind Kf’s right purposely smacking their shoulders together before plopping down on the couch causing Wonder Girl’s tea to slosh spilling over the rim and roll down the side of her thigh.

“Ew, dude have you ever actually gotten a girl with that line?”

He asked his arms resting on the top of the couch. He then raised his hand in a halting motion.

“Nevermind don't answer that, you have loner-loser written all over you.”

Kidflash

Kidflash lost his composure striking his arms out, before bringing his hand back around to point towards himself.

“Hey! I get tons of ladies!”

Speedy

“Yeah whatever dude,”

Speedy cut him off waving his hand still resting on the top of the couch, looking in the opposite direction of the scene before him.

Garth

Garth parted from his King’s side as they entered the break room with a nod, he walked towards the other heroes, his dark eyes calculating.

“Hello, I’m Garth.”

He said before sitting down on the couch next to Speedy.

Speedy

Speedy made a face.

“Great intro fishboy! But shouldn’t you have like a superhero name?”

Garth

“No, I don’t have a secret identity.”

Garth spoke, his tone relaying how idiotic he thought Speedy was.

Kidflash

“What about protecting your family man?”

Kidflash asked, lifting both his eyebrows, he was never able to just move one, leaning towards Garth.

Garth

Garth’s eyebrows pulled together as frustration took over.

“I don't wear a mask, villains will know who I am regardless.”

Speedy

“Wonder Girl doesn’t wear a mask,”

Speedy said leering at Garth.

“Maybe we should come up with a dumb superhero name for you, personally I like Fishboy!”

Kidflash laughed loudly, Wonder Woman groaned standing up and walking towards her sister.

She was stopped by the Flash calling them over in an energetic voice waving the rest of the sidekicks towards them.

Green Arrow

Green arrow spoke first giving all of the teens a cursory glance before focusing completely on his own sidekick.

“Now listen up, this mission is very important to your future as legitimate heroes.”

Within his brief pause Black Canary sighed heavily at Green Arrow's natural talent for being a terrible parent. He moved one hand to his hip as he spoke lightly elbowing Aquman in the process.

“All ya gotta do is sit and watch your targets,”

Once again there was a lapse in his speech when he turned to check that Batman had brought up the images of the targets and the suspicious big black bags, as well as the address of their hideout. After seeing Batman had in fact project the correct information, Green Arrow nodded to himself before turning back toward the sidekicks. Jerking his thumb backwards, he continued.

“These are them.”

He took a moment to clear his throat at the odd phrasing.

Flash

Flash took that moment to take over patting his colleague’s shoulder as he stepped closer to the center of the group.

“We’ve been monitoring these guys’ set up for a couple weeks. We think that they’re smuggling something illegal in those big black bags-”

Speedy

“What do you mean “illegal” things?! Don't we get to know if there's gonna be guns or drugs or something, idiot-man!”

Speedy cut in sharply placing both hands on his hips and leaning forward, aggressively sneering in the Flash’s face.

Green arrow placed a hand on each side of Speedy’s chest pushing him back as Flash stood there shocked.

Flash

“So we’ll drop ya off at their hideout, be very careful sneaking into the building and while choosing stalking positions. If they begin to pack up and leave or the situation starts to turn violent, stay safe and contact us before attempting to fight. If they have guns, retreat to the transporter immediately.

Batman then swiveled around in his chair, sending a questioning glance at Wonder Woman from across the room, ignoring the conclusion of Superman’s story much to his disappointment.

Batman

“Why would you send these children out into the field if you don't trust them to fight without supervision?”

It was a statement rather than a question, challenging all of the other mentors.

Wonder Woman answered anyway with a judgemental look of her own, but Green Arrow was the one who spoke.

Green arrow

Green arrow took several long strides towards batman.

“Well we’re not just gonna leave our kids at the mercy of a bunch of gun wielding scumbags. I mean, Flash can’t even stand a chance against a handgun, do ya think any side kick could survive that?!”

Batman

Batman glared at him but spoke in a calm voice, only failing a little to keep the smugness out of his tone.

“Robin could.”

Aquaman

Green Arrow geared up to make another loud and spity remark but Aquaman spoke up for the first time since the debriefing began.

“If he is so proficient then why is he not here?”

He questioned with far more smugness in his tone.

Batman

“Because Robin is currently working on his own personal mission tonight.”

The statement was followed by Batman swinging his chair back around and continuing to type up a mission statement.

The group dispersed most of the sidekicks getting last minute pep talks, Kidflash who reached out to his uncle grabbing his elbow as he went to go carbo-load.

Flash

The flash turned to look at his nephew.

“What’s up kiddo?”

He asked, placing a hand on each of his shoulders looking at his face in concern.

Kidflash

Kidflash looked down taking a deep breath before locking eyes with his uncle.

“I-I don't know if I can do this uncle B.”

Flash

Flash answered with a sigh rubbing rough but soothing circles on his shoulders and nape.

“Alright listen kiddo, ya made a jerk out of yourself.”

kidflash‘s face whipped up to face his uncle.

“I know I flirt with all the ladies but I do so in a joking manner that means no harm or a promise for furthering the relationship...just apologize to Wonder Girl.”

Kidflash made a face at the ground scuffing his shoe against the shiny tile floor.

“Make some small talk when appropriate on the mission and you’ll have three new best friends in no time!”

Flash turned him around to face the other sidekicks and smacked him on the back pushing him forward.

Scene 9

A wide shot of the seedier area of Arizona, several of the lamp posts have been shattered and no longer work, streams of light shine across the wet road through boarded up windows of an old warehouse. The sidekicks crouched behind a stack of molding crates, listening intently as the goons played cards and chatted about their personal lives, peering at them periodically.

Roy

Roy groaned softly clunking his head against the rotten wood.

“This is so boring! They aren’t doing anything, I say we just jump ‘em now!”

Roy whispered looking expectantly at his teammates.

Garth

Garth glared annoyed, grabbing Speedy’s wrist in a surprisingly strong grip.

“We were given direct orders-”

Speedy

Speedy shoved his flat palm into Garth’s face creating space between them.

“Calm down Fishboy, I’d never go against our wise and fearless mentors’ orders,”

Speedy sneered, ripping his arm from Garth and rubbing his wrist.

[physcoticfrog]

(idk what to call this, pretend it's a good title)

Description: From birth, your quirk had always been different, coming with black bat-like wings, but what happens when they get ripped from you during childhood? (Your quirk is a bat, coming with echolocation, and the whole package. You even have big ol ears).

Pairing: Keigo Takami (Hawks) x reader

Warnings: Mentions of abuse and depression, swearing

----------------------------------------------------------

Past

"Honey where are your parents?" You heard a sickly sweet but soft voice ask you.

"I don't know". That was your only answer. You knew what was going to happen. You were just scared.

"Honey we should probably go down to the police station, they'll help you." How come people are so ignorant? All you can do is wait now, and not say anything more.

"Hi ma'am, this is my little sister, we'll be on our way now" you heard a man say. You knew this. So why were you so scared?

Moments turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours, to days. You ended up being their puppet. After all, you could do pretty much everything they needed. There was just a small problem. You couldn't leave.

All you could hear were your screams bouncing off of the walls of the room as your wings were ripped from your back. Searing pain seized down your back, causing you to cry out in pain.

Soon enough, it was over. A man wrapped your wings, or what was left of them, in order to not cause infection. You had now come to terms with the fact that you will never out live this. This is your family, this is a part of you. You can never leave.

----------------------------------------------------------

Present

"Wait what!? Really! Thank you dad!" You hugged him, because he had just told you you could leave if you wanted, and there would be hell to pay if you didn't come back, but you could leave nonetheless.

"Awee I wanna come with too Shig" You heard Toga complain. Toga was younger than you, about the age of a high-schooler. Not that you were much older, just older still.

"Dad please can you let her? We won't be long, I promise" Dad. Shigaraki. The one who raised you, even though he was your age. Some people might say he would be more like a big brother, but he was kind to you. More so than the others. He fed you, let you be a kid sometimes. He was like a father figure of a sorts, so, you've come to respect him.

"No, y/n, you know this. You can't go out there with her, they know who she is. They don't know you. Just don't pull any dumb shit". You could settle for that. That actually sounded really good. You were just really happy to see sunlight for the first time in your life, without having to be in the confines of a fence.

"Alright. Well, I'm gonna find a coffee shop, I wanna know what it tastes like. How about I'll be back by, say, umm, 4:30? Latest 5:00?" You asked. How could he say no to that? It was a win-win, because it's already around 2:45, and you don't know your way around the streets.

"Ok, fine go. Make sure you call me immediately if anything goes wrong. Be home safe, ok?" See? That's full out dad mode right there.

"Yes dad, I know the drill." You were almost bouncing out of the door when you were ready to go.

You were wearing your newest pair of clothes, of course, slightly stained but that's because Dabi, who is more like a brother to you, decided to steal them from a corner store. It was a black crop top, with two little holes cut in the back for the small nubs poking from your back. You had to convince Dabi to cut them for you, since you can't place where that at.

You also wore high-rise black jeans, and a belt that cinched your waist. Dabi knew you all too well, and knew that you've been wanting an outfit like that for a while. No rips in the jeans either, which was a surprise. You of course wore socks, but they had a lot of holes in them. But your shoes covered them perfectly. They were white and the went up past your ankle. You thought you looked perfect, especially for your first day out.

When, you stepped out, you quickly felt a breeze brush past your face, and it felt amazing. It was a true fresh breath of air. You walked around for a bit, and then saw it. There were people going in and out of it, but not as many as you thought.

When you walked in, you smelled something that almost smelled bitter, but sweet. Is it chocolate? Coffee maybe? You couldn't tell, since you never had either. When it was your turn to order, you picked the first thing that caught your eye. A chocolate drizzled frappuchino.

"U-um hi, can I get a chocolate drizzled f-frappuchino?" You said shyly, you're voice coming out more squeeky than you had thought. She was very kind, and said, well you don't really know what she said. It got drowned out by your thoughts.

Something caught your eye, it was a glance of red, almost like blood. Too much, like blood.

"Would you like a small, medium or large?". What? You had to choose? There's a difference? Oh no. Oh no oh nOoO. What do you say?

The lady must've noticed, and immediately said "Would you like a medium, it's perfect for if you want to stay but not for too long". You felt thankful that she said that, and you immediately nodded your head, heading over to the small waiting line.

You catch another glance of red, looking up immediately. You were stunned. He looked so familiar, your pretty sure you've seen him in the pictures from Shigaraki's plans. Then it clicked. All the information he told you about him.

Hero name: Hawks. Actual name : Keigo Takami. Quirk: Fierce wings, he can fly, and telepathically control the feathers that he uses. Number two fucking hero. Great. Now Dad definitely will want you back home. But for now you leave it alone, and don't pay much mind to it. You want to enjoy your first day out.

When a different lady calls your name from the counter, you walk over and take the cup and the straw. There is a fluffy substance on top, along with what you think is chocolate drizzled into the cup. You put the straw in the cup and felt at peace. You then took a sip. It's absolutely divine.

You look away for a second, and then you notice Keigo walking towards you, but you pretend to not see him and make your way towards a table.

"Hi there, you must be new around this place." You freeze. He's talking to you. Right here. Right now.

"Um, yeah I- I don't really come around this city much." You lie. You've been around plenty of times. Just not as many outside as in.

"Oh, well this place has the best coffee, anywhere in Japan, so I think you're in luck. You should come around here more often. By the way, I'm Hawks. But you can call me Takami." He said, a smile on his face. Not smug or anything, just content. Something you're not used to doing.

"U- uh okay. My dad normally doesn't let me out of the house much. I guess you can call me y/l/n." You say, not lying, but not giving the entire truth.

And then you remember it. You're wings. His wings. The way he glanced at your back when you turned away. Shit, why do you let yourself get so carried away.

"O-oh well I should get going then, I have a bad habit of over sharing." You say, that odd feeling of over sharing. But before you can leave he says,

"I'm all ears if you've got time". This time it was a familiar smile. It was a smug one almost cocky. You debated it, hit decided it would be fine, as long as you don't mention the League.

Once you start rambling he is interested, watching intently as you talk. Him asking the occasional question. And then there it was, that question. "Hey, I know it's odd but I noticed your back. It looks like there were wings there, because it looks similar to when I use all my feathers in a fight. If you don't want to explain you don't have to." He said. You started shaking. Do I want to? I'd this ok? You thought.

"Well, it's a really long story. But when I was younger, my uh... Uncles, ripped off my wings. They were afraid I would leave them. I would fly away. I wanted to become a hero, by that was torn away with my wings." You say.

"Oh wow. You know, it's ok, right? That you might now have them. Who knows, they might even grow back!" He said cheerfully.

"actually..." He stopped once you started talking, "the doctor said if they don't grow back in ten years they will never show up again. It's been 15 years. But it's ok. Who knows I may just sprout some wings soon." You say trying to be sarcastic. Because in all reality, you don't know.

"Well, I hope to see you around. Ask your dad if we can meet up again soon." Hold on. How did the number two pro hero just ask you to hangout again?

"Maybe. My- my Dad is actually pretty strict, and he doesn't really like the idea.." You take a deep breath. "..of Heroes." You say, almost quietly. You really wanted to hang out, but just couldn't. Probably. "Wait! Hold up- I could just say I'm going out for coffee instead of meeting up with you!" You decided to say. A little more enthusiastic than you wanted.

"That works!" He said, matching your energy.

You guys continued to talk, about anything and everything. By the time 4:00 rolled around, you had decided on two days from today. At the same time. About 3:15.

When you headed back, it was 4:30 on the spot. The only issue: He was there. Hawks.

"What are you doing here?!" You whispered. This was no place for a hero. Especially Hawks. He couldn't take everyone on without dying.

"Same question to you." He whispered back.

"I'll explain at the café" you told him. What else were you supposed to do? Talk to him freely now?

"Dad, what's he doing here?" You said, talking about Hawks. You could tell that he knew who you were talking about.

"He's just here... For business." You weren't buying it, but what choice did you have?

----------------------------------------------------------

Two days later

"Hey.." You start. You know he knows. And he knows you know. You were just hoping you two could explain it all today.

"Hi." He said. He had no expression in his face. He normally wore a smile or a light hearted expression. But this was different. There was no smile. It was blank. Unreadable.

"So, I'm going to get straight to the point. I live there. That is my home. I don't have a choice. I didn't get to 'join' them. When I was about 4 or 5 years old, and my parents had died. They died because of a car crash. Apparently, they worked with the villains. A man, who might have been in his thirties took me to the hideout. After about a year, I went out through the door to see what the sun was like. They didn't like that." You continued. "Then they ripped off my wings. I still have all of my abilities, but nothing more. That's why I stay. If I leave, they will hunt me down. I want to leave, but I can't. Shigaraki- he's like my dad. He is only a few months older than me, but he still cared for me when no one else did. He helped me. And I won't judge you for being there either since I don't know your story. I just want to know why you, of all people, the number two fucking hero, was there." That's all you said. You stopped. And waited for him to say something.

Soon enough, his voice came out smooth, and soft. Not judging. But still serious, and him. "I'm working there- shit I'm really not supposed to tell anyone this." He took a deep breath. "I'm a spy. I'm not truly working for them, but I have to make it seem like it. Im only surprised, because I have never seen you there. Not once until yesterday. I truly am dedicated to being a hero, which is why I'm working with the league. I don't truly want to, but it helps the hero cause. Where have you been? How come I haven't ever seen you?" He asked. You answered.

"Dad doesn't like me being around for the meetings. He makes me go upstairs, and I stay there until he tells Toga or Dabi to come get me. I'm not part of the front line team. I'm the brains behind it. I have no choice but to plan it all out. The only reason I continue, is because I don't know how to stop."

That's how your 45 minute "date" went. Back and forth you two had questions and answers. You decided on meeting up every two days. Same time, same place.

Again, here you two are. Talking. And even laughing. Which you hadn't done since you were a teenager. "Yeah, I don't know where he thinks he'll get keeping me in my room, I can still hear everything. Just faintly. Can't make out individual voices."

He looked playfully dramatic shocked. "Now my quirk looks weak compared to yours." What? He really thought that? You felt a blush creep on to your cheeks.

"R- Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, in the best of ways, you literally are a bat. Everything about you. Except for, well, you."

"But how is my quirk better than yours?"

"Sweetheart, I literally can only fly and use my feathers. Even then, the more feathers I use the more difficult it is for me to fly." Really? There was more to it, you were sure. Wait- did he just call you sweetheart? The blush that crept on to your cheeks was a dark shade of pink.

"There's gotta be at least s-some speed boost o-or something, right?" The conversation continued, up until it was time for you to leave.

"Oh, and y/l/n, your wings are growing again." He said with a happy smile.

----------------------------------------------------------

A/n: this might become a series, so stay tuned I guess. Bye for now 🙃

[fialleril]

I absolutely adore Flash and Substance pretty much for the exact reasons you list and that gifset you posted of Flash and Trickster might be my favorite scene from the entire DC Animated Universe

Literally my only gripe about Flash and Substance is that they made Linda a Flash fangirl when really Wally should have been a Linda fangirl. But I can overlook this because she’s there and they’re still super cute together. (Though I also have…a lot of headcanons by which I finagle things so that she more resembles her comics counterpart while still fitting in with her character in the show. I won’t derail with those headcanons here though.) And because pretty much everything else about that episode is just perfect.

Anyway, for anybody just joining in, my tags on that gifset were:

this is the purest interaction in all of superhero media i will never understand people who think kind and decent characters are boring catch me out here watching flash and substance on infinite loop chin in hands and stars in my eyes an entire episode about the power of kindness and good people being good to each other yes please this is the content i signed up for

I kid you not, I have never once managed to watch Flash and Substance without having to pause at the end of that scene and just…bask in the goodness for a couple minutes. I mean, the chin hands and starry eyes is completely literal. There’s hand flapping involved usually. And sometimes noises audible only to dogs.

I just really love stories about good people who care in such a genuine way that they make everyone around them a little better, too. Idk if there’s an official name for that character type, but it’s definitely in my top five fictional tropes. And I particularly love the execution of it in JLU generally and Flash and Substance specifically because it’s just so… low key.

I mean, the three other scenes that instantly come to mind when I think of this trope, three scenes that also make me pause and just soak them up every time, are the “help me take this mask off” scene in Return of the Jedi, and two scenes from Mad Max: Fury Road - Capable meeting Nux in the back of the war rig, and Max telling Furiosa his name at the end.

And those are all stunningly beautiful scenes that destroy me every time, no matter how many times I watch them. But they’re also Big Deal Moments. (And they should be!)

What’s so amazing about Flash and Substance is that…there really isn’t a Big Deal Moment at any point in the episode. It’s not a Big Deal Episode, either. Hell, it’s really a filler episode. Just a slice of life in Central City. There’s nothing particularly special about it and that’s kinda the point. Wally’s just…like that. All the time. He’s just a really decent guy, who knows everyone in his city by name, who hangs out with kids at the orphanage and paints old ladies’ fences in his free time, who visits his villains in the hospital, not even to check up on their rehabilitation, but just to hang out.

And this episode takes place less than half a season after the end of the Cadmus arc. The entire Justice League is still on thin ice with the public in general and with the US and world council governments in particular. They’re constantly on their best behavior trying to prove that they deserve to be called heroes at all.

And meanwhile Central City has built a Flash Museum because they love their hometown hero. Because, much as I love Bats and Supes and all the rest, Flash isn’t some half-mythical figure fading in and out of the shadows, or some symbol of hope spotted up in the sky, or somebody who comes in to save the day and then is off to the next town and the next day that needs to be saved. He wears a mask and (unlike his comics counterpart, at least during the period I’m fondest of) he has a secret identity, but he doesn’t actually act much differently as Flash than he does as Wally.

Well, okay. He’s actually got a pretty damn impressive Obfuscating Stupidity act going on, but one of the low key but delightful reveals that comes out of Flash and Substance is that he primarily employs his Obfuscating Stupidity act on the other members of the Justice League. And supervillains, of course. (The non-Rogue ones, anyway. The Rogues damn well know better.) And even then, he doesn’t keep up the act out of any desire to disguise his identity. He does it because somebody’s got to be the fun one in this band of Super Serious Heroes, and it just so happens that Wally likes being the fun one. So that works out nicely for everyone. Well, everyone but Grodd and Lex Luthor, who are perpetually annoyed by his heckling. But honestly they deserve it.

And it gives him an advantage sometimes, being the fun one. Like with Trickster. Wally’s actually friends with James, and the really wonderful thing about that scene with Trickster is that James knows they’re friends, too. It’s not the far more common superhero scenario, where the hero cares a lot about the villain’s hopeful rehabilitation because they feel somehow responsible, but the villain despises the hero and the audience knows that rehabilitation will never happen. Wally genuinely cares about James and James knows it, and knows that he can trust that, which is kind of amazing, on both of their parts. And I suspect that’s partly because Wally is the fun one, so he and James understand each other in a way heroes and villains often don’t.

Because being a superhero is Serious Business. Except when it’s really not. Because your supervillain is a guy just trying to live out the trickster archetype, and there’s a script for that, so hey, you might as well play along. It means people don’t get hurt, and it’s also just more fun that way. And when things do get serious, when your supposed nemesis is off his meds and needs a friend to remind him why he does need them, then you can actually be that friend without a lot of drama getting in the way.

Or, in other words: Nobody gets hurt, and that’s a really good day.

[dedkake]

So. Here’s something about me. I’ve seen the Star Wars movies more times than I can count. I love them. Star Wars is part of my fandom life on the internet and part of my life IRL. BUT. TLJ happened. I saw TLJ once or twice in theaters, and that’s it.

I know there’s been a lot of meta on TLJ over the past few years, but I watched it again last night because my mom asked me--to prepare for tros. And now I have enough emotional distance to finally say things about it. feel free to ignore, as most of it is complaining.

Problems:

1. Pacing -- what the hell. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

2. Holdo and Leia’s lesson for Poe. WHAT THE HELL. His problem, that he says out loud, multiple times, is that he just wants to KNOW what the plan is. Not that he wants to take over or change things. He literally just wants reassurance that they’re not all gonna die because they’re in a terrible situation and the leader he knows and trusts is in a coma--so can this new leader do something to show his team some respect and earn trust. Holdo is played off as SUCH A LEADER AND HERO but she’s NOT. Part of being a leader is yes, being able to see a solution and go for it even when the people around you don’t see it yet. But it’s also super important to give your team a vision for where you’re taking them. Inspire them into action, don’t just assume they’ll do whatever you say--definitely don’t do that right off the bat. And you need to recognize different personalities on your team and work with them all. Poe’s personality and problems are swept under the rug by Leia and Holdo with a smirk and a laugh, even though they are legitimate (like, tell me we have a plan not to die). They know he’s the type of guy to rush in and save the day and take over, so why not work with that instead of yelling at him and talking down to him and kicking him off the bridge??????? Seems like you’re setting yourself up for failure, ladies.

3. Kylo Ren is irredeemable -- which is a terrible message for star wars. The entire franchise is set up around the fact that Vader is redeemable. He went to the dark side because he wanted to save people and felt restricted by the Jedi Order. He wasn’t a bad person. Luke was able to convince him of that again. COOL. AMAZING. But now Kylo has done so much crap that one movie to redeem him would be like a slap to the face. He hasn’t earned it. We know nothing about his struggle, really, besides that one time he mistakenly thought Luke was gonna kill him so he killed a bunch of kids at his school and ran off to join an evil army that he learned about by secretly communicating with its leader (and isn’t THAT a heavy-handed message). That’s not enough for a redemption arc. It won’t be enough. And that SUCKS. 

4. Luke’s entire story. It’s just not Luke. I hate it.

5. Romantic love being used like That. Where did it come from? I’m sorry, according to this movie they’ve known each other for a handful of HOURS. Why does she have to kiss him in order to show the message of saving what you love??? Why is romance the best way to show that??????????? Also, she’s been working off her sister’s sacrifice the entire movie (yknow, a few HOURS) and that sacrifice was not romantically charged. Why does Rose’s have to be??????????? Maybe this is just a complaint of my aroace self, but it just came out of the blue and doesn’t jive with any of the other stories being told?

6. I still really honestly do not understand the first order. Its structure? Its purpose? How it came to be??? Like. I’m sure there’s lots of places I could go to get that info, but it’s not clear in the arc of the movies alone, so that’s not good enough.

7. The heavy-handed lesson on war profiteering. This was just not subtle at all. There was no nuance and it didn’t fit in with the other stories being told. Like. How hard would it be to weave this into the larger story in a more meaningful way?????????????? Example: They actually go work with this code breaker and in the course of working with him, find out that he knows so much about First Order tech because he helps (present tense!) design it. He’s in it for the money from both sides. Or, what if they needed a part for one of their own ships, not a code for First Order stuff, and they go to find their supplier and learn THEN about the money made from war and the fact that people profit off both sides??????? Idk man. Do better.

8. The heavy-handedness of all the lessons in this movie. What the hell? Protect what you love. Save lives instead of being a hero. Hope needs to be there even when you can’t see the light. Destroy stuff in order to start over fresh and strong. People make money off wars, the good side and the bad. Rich people are evil because they take advantage of kids and animals. What the hell? Why did we need to be slapped in the face with lines about all of this? Multiple times??? Are we just done building stories that teach us things through actions rather than words? It’s just all so shallow. Let me see these problems during this movie, let the characters see what happens when you don’t do those things, when you don’t recognize them--and then let them change because of it. Bad things happened to all the characters (still most mad about profiteering) and then someone just told them what they should learn from it, before the characters or the audience even had time to process what had happened.

9. The idea that rebellions need to be almost completely destroyed to start over. The idea that anything that isn’t working correctly needs to be completely destroyed in order to be fixed (Jedi order and resistance). I’m sorry. That’s not as hopeful as you think. I get cleansing fire stories. I do. They have their place. But on this scale? To wipe out hundreds or thousands of people in the resistance to finally get to a point where it can work?? This would make sense if the resistance was full of corruption, but that’s not shown AT ALL. Or it cold make sense if this was tied into the story of war profiteering, and all the parts of the rebellion that were being capitalized on were destroyed (i mean, they were, but that wasn’t shown--the people were shown). At least with the Jedi Order, they showed us that there was corruption and hubris and that things needed to be balanced out. What’s the balance found between a corrupt government killing all the people resisting it??????????? Don’t put these two stories on the same plane please. Terrible message, sorry.

10. The fact that Rey has like 0 training. It’s been pretty heavily laid on us in the entire Star Wars franchise that training is important and takes a long time. Even Luke trains for multiple movies in the original trilogy, and it’s seen as pretty hasty training. I understand that there’s a critique of the way the Jedi do things but -- is the lesson we really want to go with that anyone can wield this power untrained and without study????? Education, training, experience--those are all very important in gaining self-control and wisdom.

Things i liked and had not realized or forgotten:

1. The lesson that the way to defeat evil is to love and protect is cool. More than cool. It’s a great lesson. I have NO IDEA why it needs to be so heavy handed, either. And again, stop with the romantic love being the epitome of that.

2. Yoda’s force ghost convincing Luke to get his butt into gear and move on from protecting/living in the past. Luke was stuck, and Yoda was so Yoda to get him out of being stuck and it was lovely. Although, I’m not sure what’s served by not including a scene of Rey taking the books. Why did she do it? What was she thinking? Was it a hard choice for her? Was it Yoda and not Rey????

3. We need a legend. From the first moment of this story Rey is trying to become like what she thinks Luke is--the guy who saw good in everyone including Vader and defeated the Empire because of it. Which is AWESOME. What a cool idea, people trying to live up to their heroes to defeat evil empires. GREAT. Frustration again: after this movie, I don’t want her to succeed with Kylo. Which SUCKS because it’s my favorite thing about Star Wars. (can you get more iconic than throwing away your light saber in the middle of your final battle and saying that you’re not gonna fight anymore???????)

4. I just love Rey, Finn, and Poe. They are so GOOD. All of them.Every time they’re on screen, I’m so HAPPY.

[archer3-13]

Fire Emblem Heroes Book III,Initial Trailer First Impression: Spooky Scary Skeletons are 4 edgy 8 me

the long and short of it is that im pensively optimistic about what’s in store, especially from a story angle, but that theme song can go suck a donkey’s tit.

anyways, book III and it seems were gonna be doing the tango with spooky scary Victorian skeleton warriors and a scary lady with a big ass scythe. Fuck Yeah!

so ignoring the theme song since it’s just... fuckin awful or at the very least unfitting, lets get into this by first talking about

THE TRAILER

So I gotta admit, i enjoyed this one a lot more then book II right off the bat.

opening on some flowers, we immediately know that shits gonna get fucked but my story telling instincts are telling me that this might possibly, probably, definitely, be a metaphor for this characters happy childhood in her kingdom when it was not fucked however

shit got fucked, unsurprisingly. instead of the villain looming ominously overhead like fucking doctor claw or no-heart however, we get a shot of our new hero twirling into the villains strangely comforting embrace by accident which does get me curios since it might imply, heaven forefend, that she willingly sold out her kingdom or home or whatever to the devil here and now has to fight to get it back and correct her own mistake in some sort of possible and interesting character arc here? just my take on it anyways.

moving on, we get these idiots in the woods as the fuglyness of them gives me whiplash from the actually pretty rad looking duo earlier. I kid but seriously if lokis a 0-2, alfonse a 3-5, then the hero and villain of book 3 are at an 8-10 each. my point being, there is quite the contrast in my opinion. anyways, alfonse is looking sad lost and afraid and loki’s pouting since she probably gonna be barely relevant yet fucking intrusive again.

also sharenas there in a similar state to her brother.

also veronicas just kind of there, and im getting a bit worried since we just got lokis douche smirk a few seconds ago and veronica just seems to kinda be there again.

the promotional shot, so shits about to get real again!

we get a nice shot of these two new lovely faces, doing the naruto run for a bit when the leading runner decides to pull out his fancy sword with an intense close up, definitely indicating that hes probably gonna be a blood knight of some sort. anyways he and alfonse begin to fight with blood knight pushing alfonse back and red energizer lady decides to fight

alfonse as well. man it is not alfonses day here is it? anyways, psychidelic drugs kickin at this point and the floor dissapears under alfonse as he starts to sink into sticky black goo well reaching out to sharena as-

oh?

oh! well, sharenas dead now and alfonse just can’t take the death of such a... memorable sister... and so he crys well the black goo decides to try and eat him if hes not gonna sink himself. this transitions us nicely to

our new hero looking into her dagger to see sad alfonse, and then she begins crying on a battlefield of weapons, with the heroes trios main weapons clearly in the fucking foreground implying they all died horrible deaths. quick, happy flashbacks to imply she, or you, or someone is thinking of all the good times!

there we go.

i did not kill her it’s not true, it’s bullshit, i did noooot

oh hi mark

we get this nice panning shot of a battlefield littered with weapons, implying corpses, as the hero and villain of book III stare each other down with the villain being a smug fuckin asshole and the hero clearly ready to cut a skeleton bitch.

our hero does a slight turn of the knife, and looks determinedly ahead as the trailer cuts out.

so, aside from the theme song being kinda out of place in my opinion (like, i guess it works for being unsettling but it really does feel like some marketing exec being 8 edgy 16 me cause he thought the kiddies would like it) i rather enjoyed the trailer. it set up a lot more and teases a lot more interesting story elements and ideas then book II did, its grim oppressive atmosphere is nicely out of place in comparison to feh’s other stories, it’s just better shot and paced as a trailer, and the characters look like they have an interesting history going on. speaking of looks...

THE LOOK

cause i was not expecting to be digging the look as much as I do. well the fiber glass looking stuff, that i feel was intended to be spoopy etheral light, on the villians looks a bit cheap and silly and hides the skeleton bones a bit much requiring a second closer viewing to catch that they are spoopy skeletons, the overall look im really liking. 

the sword general especially has a get up that reminds me of a reanimated suit of armour and if they had leaned into that by giving him a helmet i think it would have been even better, but for what it is he looks pretty good and threatening. the other major complaint i have aside from them not leaning into him being a reanimated suit of armour by giving him a helmet is that his face looks to much like alfonse’s which annoys me. mind you, it could be leading into some sort of plot twist later on so if it is, all i can say is i hope it’s a good one.

the lady general looks the weakest of the three in terms of visual design, but thats not as bad as it could be since she still looks a hell of a lot better then anything book II produced. still, the red stuff hiding her skeleton bits looks the most like plexi glass. Although thats about the only thing i outright dislike on her, aside from not leaning into spoopy skeleton territory more, it really does hold her design back in my opinion. i mean, fucks sake make it look more like ethereal light, add some armour here and there if need be, and boom it would be another winner of a design.

hel here, the big bad, has no such problems however. I love every bit of this lady, and i dont even care that if the glowy bits of her were actual skin she would have a design that’d comfortably fit in with kill la kill. she’s a lady villain, which isnt a requirement but something im damn well happy with especially if she ends up being well written, and she has many things i love in villains and characters in general. grim reaper theme, Victorian goth aesthetic, a black, white, and purple colour scheme, tattered flowing cloths, long wavy hair, a threatening appearance and most importantly shes a spooky scarcy skeleton. a purple spooky, scary, skeleton. I will cherish you forever, and i am crossing my fingers and praying to you that your well written and entertaining. plz be good, plz be good, plz be good...

oh right, and the mandatory good guy/gal of the book. well that bit sounds dismissive, i honestly gotta say that im digging her a lot as well. shes not a spooky scary skeleton sadly, but the victorian gothic elements of her design work really well, and shes nicely distinct from the heroes trio this time unlike fjorm who was basically sharena 2.0. im gonna hope shes well written as well, so that i can seriously grow attached to the new hero this time cause from her design alone.

so yeah, looks wise im digging this a lot more and though the artist for this is clearly Yusuke Kozaki, an artist ive vocally disliked in relation to fire emblem for a while now, i feel ike his style works to much better effect here with the ridiculous bdsm Victorian gothic style and the darker colours.

GAMEPLAY STUFF

nothing particularly interesting to note, mythic heroes definitely sounds like a dumb cash grab and i dont feel the aether arena quite has the pull in terms of gameplay to justify hinging a new summoning type gimmick on.

on a much more important note though...

beast units, huzzah!!  and tibarn and nailiah seem to be some of the first ones up which is even better! not sure what the gameplay video is implying on how their gonna play though, since it seems a bit gimmicky and raises the question of how that gimmick might effect manateke units, but they are here so thats cool. bird pirate king is ready to roll!!!

OVERALL

all in all, from the look and what the trailer hints at alone, i am optimistic, but the caution comes with what sounds like very lukewarm gameplay deals which might not keep people hooked for very long. idk, im looking foreward to it but im not gonna be heartbroken if its third verse same as the first.

[eileentothestars]

Today I am going to kind of review but mostly scream about Batman ‘66 Meets The Man From UNCLE because it makes me happy.  Yes, I know this comic came out like two years ago but I don’t care and you can’t stop me, so either strap in or scroll past, kids.  No knowledge of either show required.  Spoilers ahead.

So ‘60s Batman is famous for being a camp fest, but The Man from UNCLE did that too; the 1965-66 season started to slide into light camp and even did the whole two-part-episode-separated-by-a-cliffhanger thing (”Alexander the Greater Affair,” Parts 1 & 2) several months before Batman debuted and made it legend.  But it wasn’t a one-way relationship.  When Batman proved a monster hit, MFU cranked the camp up several notches to try to siphon off some of their success.

In other words, this is a perfect choice for a crossover, even if the timing of this comic’s release (early 2016) makes me think they only did this in response to the 2015 MFU reboot movie.

So the comic revolves around a mysterious agent of THRUSH, the evil organization UNCLE frequently went up against, recruiting several Batman villains for some nefarious purpose, and you know what that means: STUPID DEATH TRAPS GALORE WHEEEE

Once again Illya is given reason to despair of heterosexuality.

The villainess there is Olga, Queen of the Cossacks.  Her captives are, of course, Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin, the men from UNCLE.  If you’ve never seen the show, that’s okay, the comic helpfully pilfers the opening sequence from the very early episodes to introduce them to you.

Olga takes a liking to Illya based on the fact that they were both played by actors who are clearly not Russian and lets him go... as long as he promises to kill Napoleon.  Illya is very happy to go along and semi-pretends to smack Napoleon around a bit.

Well he wasn’t THAT happy about it.  But what would either of these shows be without blatant innuendo?

Skipping ahead (do I even need to tell you they escape?), Batman and Robin have their own near brush with death at the hands of the Penguin, who admits he was working with THRUSH.  Thankfully for the Caped Crusaders, their butler Alfred just happens to be an old friend of Waverly’s, and both sets of characters finally come together at a fancy-pants soiree at Wayne Manor.

1) I love the fact that Alfred and Waverly were army buddies 

2) I need to talk about the art for a second.  It’s mostly pretty good, but then you get weirdness like the above.

For the uninitiated, Alfred was played in the ‘60s show by Alan Napier, who was 6′9″ to Adam West’s (Batman’s) 6′2″.  And yet somehow here he’s the same height as Waverly, who was played by Leo G. Carroll.  IMDb says Carroll was 5′10″, which I suspect is an exaggeration, but regardless, Alfred should be TOWERING here.

Now this panel seems a little more accurate in terms of the height differences. (Robert Vaughn was apparently about 5′8″, making him Burt Ward/Robin’s height, but again, this is from IMDb which is a lying liar so idk anymore). Clearly the artist knew what the actors were supposed to look like, so I really don’t know wtf was up with Alfred there.

Speaking of weird artistic choices, there are some artist’s notes included in the back of the book as a bonus feature.

“handsome but generic” lol ouch

asldfhalsdjflasldflaks;dl

Um pardon me but what universe is this artist living in that he thinks that sweater is “frumpy?”  Lana Turner could walk into a malt shop and get discovered in that sweater.

ANYWAY back on track.

THRUSH’s Bat-recruits crash the fancy-pants soiree to steal a science doohickey.  Said recruits include some relatively minor villains from the ‘60s series, like Siren, Egghead, Sandman and Mister Freeze, as well as characters who never got a chance to appear on the show, like Scarecrow and Poison Ivy.  Ivy has a southern accent for some reason, but it works, so I’m not complaining.

The attack leads to this fantastic panel.

So now our heroes have to figure out where the bad guys took the science doohickey and what their ultimate plan is.  The Bat-clan and the UNCLE agents hold a video conference to compare notes, which Robin is super hyped about because VIDEO CONFERENCE IN THE ‘60S YOU GUYS

Wow wait what the sh--

Never let Napoleon run a Skype chat

So UNCLE has discovered the bad guys’ hideout is off the coast of Monaco, with the help of a random lady named Blanche (she of frumpy sweater fame).  See, part of MFU’s shtick was that some innocent bystander--usually a woman--would get dragged into the mission du jour and help our heroes resolve it.  That element really gets shoved to the sidelines in this comic, and that’s fair enough.  We already have a lot of main characters running around.  Blanche only shows up for like three pages, but it’s long enough for Bats to give his unsolicited opinion.

Surprisingly, Waverly’s response is not “Yeah well you bring an underage boy in hot pants on your missions so stfu.”

So off to Monaco we go--and yes, an ersatz Princess Grace does show up, thanks for asking--only for everyone to get captured and dragged to an undersea base.  There we finally discover our main villain: Doctor Strange (not that one... though now I want that crossover too), a THRUSH agent who got into Arkham Asylum as a psychologist in order to determine which villains would serve THRUSH best.

I mean she’s not wrong.

Basically Hugo Strange’s plan is to slowly brainwash all of our heroes into becoming his pawns so they’ll help him achieve world domination.  His brainwashing methods look suspiciously like the Bohemian Rhapsody music video, anachronisms be hanged.

NEVER LET ME GO (LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOO)

FOR MEEEEEEEEEEE *vigorous headbanging*

Okay this post is already way too long so let’s wrap up.  Our heroes manipulate the Bat-villains a bit, pointing out that Strange only sees them as subordinates, which hurts their egos enough that they’re willing to team up with both dynamic duos to defeat Strange.

Side note: Batgirl is in this comic and she is amazing.

Look at her kicking the heads off Ivy’s plant men like a BOSS

A hundred feet under the ocean and outnumbered seven to one and she’s still ready to throw down.  THAT’S MY GIRL

And you can probably guess the rest of the story: heroes triumphant, villains defeated, and there is also a giant octopus involved.  So if you were disappointed in the ‘66 Batman movie where Penguin mentions having a trained octopus but never shows it to us, I hope this will heal the octopus-shaped hole in your heart.

So anyway, that’s the comic.  I skipped over a whole lot of cool stuff so please buy it and also both of these shows and also the Batman ‘66 comic in general.  One day I may do a post about Batman ‘66 Meets The Green Hornet too because it is actually EVEN BETTER

[praphit]

Shazam: It's good to be dysfunctional.

　 Shazam!

First I'd like to say that "Shazam!" has been my catch phrase for as long as I can remember. I think that was actually my first word as a baby. It's a perfect word to use when you're excited about something that someone has said, but you don't really want to commit to anything. Like I said, I say it all of the time, but that doesn't mean I'm coming to that party, or going on that date, or agreeing to bust you out of jail. I love this word! I've got to look into getting some money due to DC stealing my catch phrase, but in the meantime, let's talk about SHAZAM! - the movie.

There's no good way to say it - DC has been effing up lately. BUT, I think this has been due to DC trying to be like Marvel. They were doing fine until they started building a "universe". But, I figured it out - Marvel is like that well off, well put together family. They all help cook and clean, they all say their prayers, they recycle, they've got a swear jar that's almost empty... of course they have their problems, but they have enough money to fix them or hide them. DC is the dyfunctional family.

First off, they've got a sitch where they have two dads (Supe & Bats) and a mommy (WW). But, the dads are much more into one another than they are the mommy. Eventually, the two dads ran off (maybe with one another who knows??), and mommy decided she doesn't need anyone else's help, so she's doing her own thing. Uncle Aquaman checks in once in a while when he's sober... and don't get me started on the cousins.

DC is dyfunctional, but that's ok! I feel like they're starting to believe that that's ok as well. Shazam came on the scene and said, "Come here you lil neglected DC kids, let me tell you my story." He understands them, cuz one of the things you'll learn about Shazam is that he was abandoned as a child and became an orphan. He later on met an old wizard (btw - Djimon Hounsou sighting).

Now this wizard has a special mission - he kidnaps... they may be too strong... he... transports kids and leads them to his lair, where he puts them through a test of purity. If they fail he kicks them out after telling them they aint's shit. But, if they pass, they get the opportunity to grab his staff and receive his power. How about those options?? The odd thing about this test (well, ONE odd thing) is the test is a matter of temptation to grab an orb from seven demons (named after the seven deadly sins). Now, it's not as if these demons are appearing as ... Idk, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders

(then we've got some challenge)

- no, they look more like this -

Yeah... any child who fails this test deserves whatever is coming to them. And this pic doesn't even do the movie demons justice.

Anyway, Shazam passed (kinda - it was more like the Wiz ran out of time)! (at age 14) - and fortunately nothing creepy happened to him; instead now whenever he says the name "SHAZAM!" he pretty much becomes Superman meets Rayden from Mortal Kombat.

This movie is all about this boy (Billy Batson) randomly becoming a super powered MAN, and trying to figure out his powers, what a hero should be, and picking a cool name. There's also some "real talk" stuff going on with the topic of foster parents/kids and a mom that abandoned him when he was a small child (not Wonder Woman... I don't think). But, the movie stays on the comedy path for the most part. I laughed a lot in this movie. Like I said, Shazam is mainly here for laughs and fun. He's like "You've got enough of doom and gloom from the rest of the DC universe".

This film is more on the family friendly side... although the super villain IS possessed by those seven demons I mentioned earlier, so if you think about that (the names of these demons), it's slightly darker than you might think, but the movie doesn't focus on that too much. There is a strip club in here as well. WE (the audience) don't see anything, but the kids do a few times - it's used as a device to crack some jokes at the club's expense. I guess if you happen to be a stripper you may take offense. It's called "The Booty Trap". and I'm sure the ladies who work there are lovely:)

I don't have too may issues with this movie, honestly (though I'm not a stripper). I will say that it's a lil long; just a lil. And Shazam (though Zachary Levi does a great job!) is kinda one note. BUT, he's 14! What 14 year has any depth? Not like Batman, who instead of going to therapy when his parents were killed, decided to spend his life beating the holy snot out of people every night. That makes one complex. Or Wonder Woman living on Woman on Woman Island (don't make that face - it was an island of only women - either they were all abstinent or... you know.) Plus, that golden lasso... imagine the truths she has heard, especially when coming to our world -

WW - "Golden Lasso, do your work! Make them tell me the truth!"

"Wonder Woman, I cheated on my wife!"

"Wonder Woman, your ass is too fat for that costume!"

 "Wonder Woman, I killed them all! And then ate them... and I'll do it again... delicious."

"Wonder Woman, I hate brown people and women!"

She'd be like "Mr. Trump, I haven't even lassoed you yet."

Point being, that's a lot to absorb  - a lot of complexity. Shazam doesn't have that (yet). But, for the most part, that's a good thing. It's a refreshing break from all the dark stuff.

I guess one could complain about body image stuff. When he says "Shazam" he turns into a muscle freak. Later in the film, there are more kids-to-super-powered-adults who fight. The men all turn super-muscled, and the ladies... fit, but... idk. It'd be funny if a girl shouted the words and turned into one with a body like Chyna (RIP)

, and a boy did so and turned into one with the body of Danny Devito:)

I don't particularly care, I'm just sayin... again the point is to sit back and have fun with this movie. And it def accomplishes that.

Grade: A

Another thing, this movie doesn't care about Batman and Superman running off. They're like screw'em! We don't need them. And after watching this film and seeing what's down the pike for DC, maybe they're right.