#idk where we were but it was one of those plazas and we went into a store that sold groceries and underwear???

[heyitscel]

Had an odd ass dream about some of the best butter I ever had and now I want some immediately

[patalipat-blog]

The last time

Today is October 13. I am fortunate to enjoy this brewed coffee and donut here in Naga City.

Last night was funny. All the people at home travelled to QC, for Ella’s visa and TESDA application. I didn’t tell them that I was in transit back here. I didn’t want Papa to know. 

I was excited to visit my home for a brief time, was excited to pet the dogs. Was excited to just basically rest. But when I arrived at half past 11pm, the gates were padlocked. Makes sense, they’d be away for a few days; the house needs to be secured. But I didn’t have the keys to the new padlocks. For a time, I felt like I got locked out of my own property. How unfair can life go. I was so tired from the academic and work hustle for the past weeks, so tired of the bus ride. And then I can’t enter my own home. Oh well.

The last time I was in Naga, I also arrived in the wee hours but had to wait for several hours before going home and fetching my sister and nieces. The last time I was in Naga, I spent hours sitting at the plaza, thinking about how to fix our family.

The last time I was at home, I was basically running on adrenaline. Ikaw ba naman, receive a call from your niece, then hear your sister on the background, “pumunta ka na rito, sunduin mo na kami, nagkakasakitan na kami ni Papa”. Idk how, but in a flash I went home, carried all their belongings, and fixed everything for them so that they could ride the bus back to NCR and back to Pangasinan. It’s like I “extricated” them from the disaster at home. Had to absorb all my sisters’ stories of how they’d been doing while I was away (didn’t tell them that I was already starting a new life in Laguna). And then, I went home to quickly collect some stuff, but before I could leave I also had to absorb the pleas and stories from my father. I couldn’t fathom where I dumped all those in my mind. Almost cried several times, but I simply couldn’t — I shouldn’t. I wouldn't allow myself, because there’s still so much to fix. After my sister and nieces took off, that’s the only time that I thought of taking my lunch. Despite the solitude, I still couldn’t let out my emotions; I was simply too exhausted. There was still work the following days, I had to power through because we were hosting a Regional Convention.

The last time I was in Naga, the last time I was at home, my mind was in a loop. Trying to solve o conundrum that would’ve been so simple had all my family members been empathic enough to understand one another and adjust to one another. They basically just siphoned every ounce of energy and empathy from me; They were channeling to me all their issues to each other, and they basically wanted me to help them get what they want. I already repeatedly asked them to adjust to one another, because we’re family, we shouldn’t be indifferent from one another. They just agreed superficially, but afterwards they still would go back and push for their own motives. Ang titigas ng ulo ng mga miyembro ng pamilyang ito, kabilang na ako doon.

And so, the last time that I was here, I already quit. When I left Naga, I also tried to leave everything behind. Tried to let go of the issues in my family, tried to quit caring and absorbing everything. For the past months, though, they’d still contact me. Word would still reach me about how they are disrupting the lives of our relatives. About how they’d try and take advantage of one another/our relatives. Pamilya pa ba talaga tayo? Why are we doing this to one another?

Of course, you can’t really quit on your family. I still need to help them, but I’ve been getting more selective now. The past months have been a struggle for me. I’ve been drained emotionally, physically, mentally, financially. Now, I’m trying to save myself and prioritize my needs. Gosh, I need to regain my financial standing. Been working tirelessly only to go home to “my home” which seems like my ultimate source of stress. I couldn’t even have a good night’s sleep there anymore when I last stayed there for a few days. Now, I couldn’t even go home without panicking about what my father would say or would ask of me, about what I would see or hear there, about what I would find out and add to what I’m carrying. For the past years, I’ve been willingly helping my family especially with their financial needs. In all honesty, I don’t expect them to return the money, but I’d appreciate if they’d return the favor by at least just keeping the peace and being considerate of one another’s situation. Lagi na lang, when they message me it’s always about their problem, their needs, their issues. Seldom have they asked me how I truly was doing.

Oh well, at least now I feel like I’m already healing. I really looked forward to seeing Naga again. Even for just several hours, it feels good seeing these streets that I used to walk by on weekends. It feels good to hear the language being spoken everywhere I go. It feels good to make memories of peace and eventual healing.

(Spent a while just watching Naga alive and abuzz)

The last time I frequented this Dunkin Donuts branch in Centro, I was busy fixing my enrollment, study leave application, and scholarship application papers. Can’t believe that now, I’m halfway thru the sem. The life there is very difficult, especially when you are financially constrained. But I’m getting by. Blessed to meet so many kind and helpful people. The life there is bearable because of them. I’m struggling, but I’m learning sooooooooo much and I really like what I do even if it’s difficult.

The last time I had this brewed coffee and donut combo, it was my simple way of celebrating the approval of my study leave with pay! I was in Laguna, and I wanted to treat my housemate just to celebrate but I really had not much money. And so I just opted to walk and celebrate my milestone in solitude.

Indeed, the tides would ebb and flow. In the moments of difficulty, in the moments of heavy load and uncertainty, just persevere. Just keep on praying. There are times when I’d just hear myself thanking God for saving me. Truly, the line from Ate Gyra’s favorite song still guides me: “I will be still and know You are God.”

---

This write-up was abruptly cut because my sister said his boyfriend had they keys to our home gate and he was there feeding the dogs that time, so I had to rush home.

I spent less than 15 minutes inside our home, picked up a few documents and clothes. Then, as I was about to leave, I sneaked a quick petting of our dogs Furrby and Amber. Gosh, I wish I had more time. They were both excited to play, haven't seen them in months. They were asking to be carried, but I just couldn't. I needed to go back to my workplace that time.

Quickly snapped a few photos of our home before I left. I really miss this place, but at the same time this place already feels so foreign to me. I held back tears as I bid goodbye to our home. What's happening to us? I don't know. I'm tired of comprehending.

My tears were rolling as I rode the tricycle. It felt really heavy. Closing our door, walking away from our home, walking past the streets that have been my home for the past few years, looking towards the direction where Jeff and his cousins used to live. Looking around the streets where we used to walk in the vacation afternoons. Why is my life constantly changing, and abruptly at that?

And so, I decided to pass by the Naga Metropolitan Cathedral and hear the mass. The last time I was here, I was praying for guidance. I was praying for patience and steadfastness; If it was really God's will that I'd be able to study, then let His will be done. But if He had other plans for me, then hopefully He would show me the way.

I wish I could stay longer. I wish life wasn't as complicated as it is. I wish our situation was better. All I could do at the moment was to pray, ask the Lord for forgiveness, and beg that He fills all of us with love, compassion, wisdom, and strength so that we may fix our lives in time. In the middle of my prayer, it was then that I realized I've been praying for the same things in the past months. Perhaps I have silently quit and slowly distanced myself from my family, because I really have nothing more to give them. But I've been praying for them, for all of us. I guess that is the biggest thing that I could afford them this time. I would always try to shrug off their messages, but I still always think about them and pray for their safety and progress. At least, prayer is unlimited. God's blessings are unlimited, so long as He wills it to happen to our lives, and so long as we know how to recognize, so long as we know how to look at the right direction and appreciate.

The rains were pouring as I headed back to the mall to collect my luggage and travel to my workplace. I had very few energy left, mostly because of the emotional drain. But when I boarded the van, my students were there. I quickly had to reverse my mood, they couldn't be affected by what I'm feeling. They were excited to see me, they were excited for the week ahead. I couldn't just rain on their parade. And so here we are, wearing another mask, taking on another hat.

There's so much to be done. We can't be crippled by our life's setbacks.

[deonideatta]

Alright it's Vincenzo and fire meta time! I dont know if this is super obvious and I'm just repeating what everyone's already picked up on, but Solar's version of Adrenaline gave me the push I needed to write down my thoughts (Italian version >>> tho imo) so here goes. I apologize in advance for the length sflds this is my thoughts straight to the page so it went on for a while :')

We associate Vincenzo with fire almost from the first episode. From the get go, the first major thing we see Vincenzo do is burn down a vineyard, pretty nonchalantly. Then we establish his habit of fiddling with lighters, and to round it off he blows up Paolo's car. The fire imagery is there from the beginning. When he loses his temper he's fiery, he fights fire with fire, his birthday is on bonfire night, it's a pretty clear link. Yet, interestingly enough, as we get to know more about his character, it appears like he is mostly a very level-headed person when it comes to high stakes conflict, as seen in the court scenes and in scenes like the ones where he threatens Choi Myung Hee. In fact, his cool-headedness is one of the things Cha Young lists as one of his charms in ep8. He doesn't come off as hot-blooded as quickly as a character like Father Kim in The Fiery Priest, for example.

Besides the times when he's just annoyed angry over things like being robbed or the drama with Geumga plaza, we see him get seriously angry only over the emotions from seeing his mom (he yells at her, he lights a cigarette) over Hong Yu Chan's insistence on pursuing Babel despite the danger (he raises his voice on multiple occasions), and over the death of HYC (he throws a wine glass and then he has syringes stuck in JHS's pillow and he organizes the warehouse arson). Note how most of these things are accompanied by some use of a lighter (more on that later). Yet, times when he yells and cusses in Italian aside, in doing most of these things he's not very visibly aggressive? If you get what I mean. He's still almost cold/mechanical in the way he goes about it. Like the result of his anger is an inevitability; if you light a lighter you start a fire. This is seen when he gets angry over the vineyard owner's attitude (he doesn't lose his cool, he just burns down the vineyard) and Paolo's attempted assassination of him (he shoots the assassins calmly, he blows up Paolo's car and threatens him, he leaves italy). Even the actual act of the Babel arson isn't very fiery on Vincenzo's part.

The thing about Vincenzo though is that, much like the lighters which he constantly opens and closes without lighting, most of the time he's not always very openly fiery. As mentioned above the only times we see Vincenzo actually light a lighter are when he's truly angry. He opens and closes them to calm down, but occasionally instead of calming down he lights the lighter, and he burns down a vineyard or lights a cigarette. He says in ep 2 that being weak and feeling helpless make him angry, and perhaps that's why opening and closing a lighter helps him calm down, because it reminds him that he can do something, he can light the lighter if he chooses to.

A lot of his anger/bitterness goes back to him being abandoned by his mother, and we see that it's still a big deal for him because some of only times we see him lose a grip on his anger and have outbursts of emotion are in scenes related to his mom (when he comes to tell her no one will come visit her now, when she doesn't want to get treatment, early on when he's in the courtroom for her case). We see that momentary crack in his level-headed personality when it comes to his mom, and the cracks get larger the worse her condition gets. (I wonder how it will go if she dies? It seems like she might. Perhaps that'll push him over the edge). Being someone who doesn't like feeling helpless, the scenes where he's angry about his mom become all the more impactful because there's nothing he can do, he can light the lighter but all he can do with that light is light a cigarette. Notably we also see him get emotionally angry/agitated worrying over Hong Yu Chan's perseverance in fighting Babel, perhaps since he also comes to see HYC as a mentor/father figure. He was helpless again, he couldn't do anything to help his mother's sentence and he couldn't do anything to stop HYC and his eventual death. In all this we see that there is a marked contrast between fiery emotionally engaged angry Vincenzo and cool-headed business minded angry Vincenzo. The more dangerous of the two is arguably cool-headed angry Vincenzo, because this is the mode he enters after the initial burst of emotional anger, after which he hatches and executes another high stakes plan.

Which brings me back to Adrenaline. The lyric about wanting to leave so as not to cause hurt is there in both versions, but in english it's "Fire, rising up (to) higher, I'm burning up it's dire, I don't wanna hurt you so leave" (According to this translation of the Italian version the equivalent part in that one is "The fire (is) rising upwards, I'm burning slowly, Please leave me, I don't want to hurt you", more or less the same thing). At this point we're aware that Vincenzo has a lot of unresolved internal anger, but we aren't clear on the full extent of it yet. He effectively hides it behind smooth words and well thought out plans, but that doesn't change the fact that he's "burning up" with all that pent up anger (over his mother mostly, and now also over Babel to an extent), which is also "rising up" as he's reminded of his past and faces new challenges. It's only a matter of time until he hits burnout, or an explosion of some kind. If you think of it like a water balloon (idk i'm bad at coming up with metaphors), over time more and more things (abandonement issues, having to kill so many people, having to leave italy, frustrations surrounding the tenants, BabelTM, the death of Hong Yu Chan, meeting his mother again, hearing the truth about his mother's case first hand, his mother potentially dying, and so on) fill it up until bANG, it's too much and it bursts. Pent up anger is a ticking time bomb, and it's anyone's guess when he'll stop clicking the lighter open and shut and set the world on fire again. We'll either have Vincenzo overcome and learn to let go of his anger, or we'll get to see him truly snap and cause some real damage to his status as a non-fugitive and/or his relationships. Maybe some combination of both.

Interestingly though, we haven't seen him get directly really angry at Cha Young before, though they were very passive agressive in the earlier eps. This shows a difference in the way he sees her now and the way he saw Hong Yu Chan, she's willing to get her hands dirty and so even though they're still fighting the same Babel he's not as worried about her safety because she's a lot like him. And yet, assuming that Adrenaline is from Vincenzo's POV and the person he doesn't want to hurt is Cha Young, we can infer that Vincenzo knows full well the potential danger of his pent up anger, and that he cares enough about Cha Young to want to still keep a certain distance from her so as not to hurt her in the event that said anger leads to bigger trouble/more illegal high stakes plans/things she wouldn't approve of i.e hurting or killing people. We see that he is drawn to her (very obviously), and that he likes her (VERY OBVIOUSLY), but he doesn't want to burn her, hence scenes like the "villains don't deserve to love/love requires qualifications" scene. Fire can warm people, it can be a force for 'good' (for example, the revenge on Babel for its victims and Cha Young via the arson), but it can also destroy people. It looks like it is definitely eating away at Vincenzo, and he doesn't want the fire consuming him to burn those close to him.

He's done things that may or may not haunt him, and he may not deem himself worthy of love because of those things, but deep down I do think he wants to be loved, to have a home, to let go of his anger and be allowed to live without it. His initial plan was to get filthy rich and then run away, but like the monk said, unless he faces his anger, it'll follow him wherever he goes. Forests burn down and regrow naturally, but unnatural forest fires are hella destructive, it's all about how he handles his anger. Harness it and overcome it, or let it control him and eventually destroy him. Rn it looks like it torments him but he uses it to his advantage, as a driving force, but how sustainable is that? Each of the arsons are preceded by gasoline, what will serve as Vincenzo's gasoline and what will be the spark that sets him alight? Will Cha Young be the bucket of water that settles Vincenzo's flames, or will she be the bucket of gasoline that burns him to the ground? We'll just have to wait and see.

Pls interact it took me like a week to write all this :')

[parisofpeoplez]

Hello I'm back again trying to get this out of the way so that I can MOVE ON GOD. I have soo many feelings from Vincenzo finale and I feel emotionally exhausted, so I'm going to try and sort my thoughts out here. This is going to be very long and chaotic....

I had started watching this show sometime in March and caught up with the episodes in the week before episode 13-14 aired. That's when I discovered the fandom on Tumblr. I've never been a part of such a fandom and it elevated the whole experience so much more and let me just put it out there first and foremost - y'all are the most intelligent, funny and creative people I've ever come across.❤ Living in today's reality where we can't even meet our friends, having a collective community experience with you all was honestly such a comfort. I will forever be grateful to this show for giving me this experience ❤❤

I've been trying to look at the positive sides of the finale but it's difficult to do so. Not saying there's aren't any, I just feel the not-so-positive ones outnumber the positive ones imo...

I've become so attached to this show that I've even surprised myself. Props to the writers and creators for creating characters and giving them such good development arcs. I truly came to see the Geumga plaza gang as a family. Blood is not what makes you a family and they proved this till the very end.

Hong Cha Young my queen....I absolutely adore her. I've never come across a female character like her in any show. I love her quirks (like even the way she walks with a bounce in her steps is so extra!) and I love her strength. She was ready to go all out to make her father's murderes pay, which is probably why I have sort of mixed feelings about her character in the last episode. On one hand I do know that her want for revenge against them is what started it all, and she deserved to kill Zumba Snake and Han-seok. But it is one thing to want to kill someone, and another thing to actually do it yourself. In the initial eps, we saw that she made Vincenzo promise not to kill anyone, but went back on it with 'promises can be broken out of necessity'. And yet, she ended up staying at Vincenzo's place out of fear that he would actually kill. She might have went back to making peace with the fact that Vincenzo is bound to kill and yet, when she witnessed one of the cryatal balls dying (idk his name), she had to take the time to remember why she was doing what she was doing, and why she had been supporting Vincenzo all along. As viewers we would have been satisfied had she been the one to kill Myung hee (since she was the one who gave the order to kill Cha Young's dad), it would honestly be completely out of character for her. She's a ruthless, cunning lawyer, but not a killer. Which is why I completely understand why the writers decided not to go that way.

On the other hand, Vincenzo has grown up in the Mafia, this is what he has learnt his entire life and what he's best at. He understood that it would have long lasting emotional impacts on Cha Young if she killed. He didn't want her to suffer like he does, which is why he offered her an out in ep 19, warning her that they will now become monsters, and delivered the final blow to Myung hee and Han-seok.

I am satisfied with Vincenzo being the one to kill them. But what I am not satisfied by at all is how Cha Young was essentially side lined in the finale, and the fact that Han-seo sacrificed himself in the end. They could have written Cha Young being involved in some way. The entire sequence in the beginning of ep 20 could have been so much more impactful, had they taken a slightly different route. I still do not understand why they didn't make Han-seo push/kick Han-seok's hand so that that last bullet ends up somewhere that is not a human body. I am as annoyed as I was when Gu Seung ju died in CLOY. I know that they had been foreshadowing his death all along, right from the moment when Cha-young and Vincenzo have that conversation about how underdogs more often than not end up dead (or something along those lines, I can't recall exactly), and then more recently in the last eps, but still it would have been a great twist for him to actually be alive, and reveal it later in the episode like they did with Mr. Lee. (Please Mr. Lee's potential death sub plot was just....NO. It was unnecessary to give him a fatal wound and make us believe that he was dead ESPECIALLY after they killed Han-seo). At the very least, even if they did want to kill Han-seo, they could have written it better and given some sort of closure to his character. I will forever mourn his loss...

Coming on to the deaths of the antagonists. Choi Myung Hee's death was.....something. To be very honest, I don't really know how I feel about it exactly. Not saying I hated it or that she didn't deserve it. I liked the whole bit about making her dance one last time. I just really don't know how to feel about actually watching her burn. As for Jang Han-seok's death, I think it was a bit too gruesome for me to digest (he deserved it tho) but I really liked two things about it - Vincenzo taking his watch and the crow. Now THOSE were satisfying.

As much as I hated it when Vincenzo had to leave, after thinking about it, I feel it was necessary. The police were after him and they literally did not have the time to fabricate any sort of evidence that would gurantee him to walk a free man. Even if they had tried to do it, it would've been a gamble. Vincenzo had to leave so that he can come back to Cha Young later and not end up behind bars instead. Yeah I know he was going to retire initially but after Luca's visit, he realised that he can't leave his family in Italy alone. The Mafia are his family after all. He's grown up and spent his whole life amongst them, he can't just leave them to defend themselves, esp when their boss is his incompetent brother. He had to take care of them first because that is what they do, they look after their own. Even though he offered the enemies money, it would only keep them away for so long and there would always be more enemies.

I'm not gonna talk about my thoughts on Chayenzo since I already made a long ass post about it (x)

I did not mean to ramble on so much but oh well! I couldn't sleep last night with so many thoughts running around my head and I needed to vent them out, so here we are lol. These are just my ramblings on the last episode, not the whole show. It is still one of the best shows ever created and I don't want to let the ending ruin that for me. It will take some time for me to accept it tho. Not in the mental state to go for a re-watch but I probably will at some point when I'm not feeling so emotional (is it the PMS? It v well could be lol) and when I do, I will be v conveniently only skipping to the kiss scene and ignore the rest of ep 20 lol (It was an amazing kiss scene okay).

[transguyedgeworth]

OH HEY YEAH i think the main difference that makes my opinions on certain aa things like. differ from like general consensuses or whatever is the fact that I HAVENT ACTUALLY BEEN PLAYING THE GAMESSSSS i own the first one and played it a long long time ago but other than that. sdfhdfjd i kinda feel bad abt it tbh but whats done is done honestly,, but yeah ive been watching those no commentary walkthroughs on yt since 2, basically i havent done aai2 yet bc i went to aai after 4 and after that i was like I MISS PHOENIXXX so ive been on dual destinies and im abt 2/3 through that.. so my plan is to then go to aai2 and then soj. and tbh i might actually try to emulate and like PLAY those but ive never emulated before so shits scary... whether or not i do that tho i do think i wanna get the turnabout collection for my switch and then i can play thru 2 and 3 eventually n all that shit i am not immune to consumerism smh

as for reginas theme idk man its just me i dont like it u cant make me like it.. like tbh i actually think its like good as in its Effective i think.. but like my ears just hate it idk. i feel like its repetitive too and so it just gets like annoying to listen to for me.. anyway yeah i do agree basically w what you said abt 2-3 and if id played it im pretty sure id hate it too but i mean the shit i like Liked abt it was like. everything you didnt mention jdfghersdhf i love the shit that has nothing to do w the actual fuckin case ie That Part in the plaza w franziska GOD THAT PART.. and also i said this to a friend who id also been talking abt it with another time and like may as well share it with you, au where regina is 20 the ventriloquist is the one who died and everything is Fine.

k laters <3

OKAY OKAY NOT TO LIKE. PRESSURE YOU OR ANYTHING BUT. PLAYING THE GAMES YOURSELF IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE THAN WATCHING A PLAYTHROUGH. both my partner and i can attest to this, i tried to watch a playthrough of aa1 years ago and it was SO BORING but then when my current roommates wanted to play the series with me i immediately got sucked in. like. there’s some stuff you just... need to Experience for yourself i think but maybe that’s just me?? idk i don’t think i’d even be into the series at all if i hadn’t actually played it myself. 

my roommate and i ended up playing aai and aai2 after trials and tribulations because he was telling me that that’s the order the games take place in chronologically and also cuz he knows i kin really like edgeworth ghdfnd honestly i’m afraid i won’t be able to get through aa4 for like. a similar reason that you had for skipping aai2 because I Will Miss Edgeworth. 

also emulating is totally not that scary i promise the scariest part is finding the roms. emulating is totally safe and as long as you have decent antivirus software (like windows defender or just. common sense not to click on shady links) you can basically just google ‘[game title] rom’ and find stuff pretty easily. i think it took maybe 5 minutes total for me to find roms for both aai and aai2.

and bro it’s like. totally fine to have differing opinions on music i prommy. i can def understand the repetitive part but considering most of the songs are played on loop in the background anyway i start getting annoyed by any song in the games that loops more than like 3 times in a row (it’s the Sensory Issues). 

my main issue with turnabout big top (besides the ped*philia which according to my roommate didn’t even exist in the japanese version) definitely has a lot to do with having to play it. the investigation is long and tedious and the reveal of what actually happened is just so fucking Stupid and Ridiculous. when i played with my roommates i kept making guesses as to what happened with the ringmaster and how the culprit flew and shit and every time they were like “i wish that’s what actually happened, it would make more sense” ghfjfdnf and yeah i like the part in the plaza with franziska too and all the times they mention edgeworth and we get to hear more about what exactly Happened and shit but. that Cannot save the case for me. those bits do not cancel out the utter bullshit that case put me through it still fills me with rage just to think about it (other than regina my angel whom i adore).

and yeah literally just. keeping regina Of Legal Age would fix the ped*philia stuff but i probably still wouldn’t like the case just because of how stupid and rage-inducing the plot twists and reveal of the actual events were. 

[suckitsurveys]

Ready to answer 151 Questions? No.

1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? Last week. I am extremely grateful to have access to a pool this summer. It’s at my sister’s mother in law’s. She lets my sister and her daughters use it while she’s at work and I tag along too.  2. Do you like to party? I love throwing parties. Not like, huge drunk ragers, but bday parties are my specialty.  3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? I’ve been social distancing myself from them for almost 10 years, so. 4. Are you a virgin? Nope. 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? My dad likes Mark.

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? I am married to my crush.  7. Is your best friend dating anyone? One is. 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? It’s an olive green shirt with the Route 66 logo on it. 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? I really don’t care. 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? I do that 99.99% of the time. 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? On myself? My stomach. 12. Would people describe you as happy? Not currently.  13. Are you single? Nope. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? Nah. 15. Do you have Tumblr? I really only use it for this, which I also haven’t done in a while either.

16. What about Xanga? Aww, RIP Xanga. 17. Have you ever babysat before? Yes. 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? Most of my college professors.  19. Ever shopped at Sephora? I think I’ve been in one before? 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do? I mean, I’d be pretty shocked and hurt. 21. Do you have any university plans? Lol. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? Support her?  23. What are your views on sex? Be safe! Always get consent! 24. Do sexual questions bother you? No. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? Uh, what? 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding? Yeah. 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? Yeah, I don’t see too much of it anymore. 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? Yes. 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? I did that once oops. 30. What’s the last book you read? I’m still working on a couple. 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? Sure. 32. What is your last name? No. 33. What grade are you in? No. 34. What school do you go to? No. 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? Summer and early fall.  36. Favorite Color? Purples and blues. 37. Are your parents together? My father is widowed.  38. Any siblings? I have an older sister. 39. Favorite subject? Eh.

40. Least favorite subject? Eh. 41. Favorite song? I could never just choose one. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? I don’t care. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 200 something. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? Probably. 45. Have you ever googled yourself? Yeah. 46. Have a Formspring? No. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? Take them and sell them :P 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? Waterpark. Ughhhhhhhhh I miss waterparks so much. It’s so weird to not be going this summer. 49. Been to Disney world? Nope. 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? Sounds like one of those things where people post a random status from a list of things that will likely get people’s attention and whoever comments on it is privately sent said list of thing and they then choose something to post as their status and so on. That was a popular game thing on Facebook years ago. <---Yeah, that. 51. Ever had a boyfriend? Yes.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? I doubt Will Arnett knows I’m in love with him. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? No. 54. Ever drank alcohol? Yes. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? Yeah. 56. Ever watched The Hills? No. 57. What about Jersey Shore? Yes. 58. Ever called someone a slut? I’ve said that jokingly to friends. 59. What do you think of short shorts? You do you. 60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? Nope. 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? Yes. 62. What about a B? Yes. 63. And a C? Yes. 64. How about a D? Yeah. 65. Ever skived? What’s that? 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? I’d say somewhere in the middle. I had friends, but I wasn’t “popular” by any means. 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? Most are older.  68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? Yes. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? Oops. 70. Ever watched porn? Yes. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month? I drove with out a seat belt (for a few blocks) and jay walked oops.  72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? On work days, yes. 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? Wednesdays.  74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join? No. 75. Ever performed in a talent show? No. 76. Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? I’ve always had a special bond with my dad. I love my mom, but we butt heads a lot when I was a teenager. I feel like our bond was getting stronger just before she died and I’m really sad we don’t get to know each other as we got older.  78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nooo. I have zero talent. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? A lot. 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? A lot. 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. Will Arnett, Paul Rudd, John Mulaney, Andy Samberg, Ezra Koenig 82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. Aubrey Plaza, Alison Brie, Lana Del Rey, Alia Shawkat, Kat Dennings 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity? Ha, no. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? No. 85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? Idk what that is in US dollars but I don’t usually buy lip gloss, so. 86. Are you opinionated? I can be. 87. Do you have a favorite store? Sure. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? I used to in grade school. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? I have one pair of “boyfriend” jeans that I don’t really like.  90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? Hello, pandemic? 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? I don’t know. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? Yeah. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? I don’t care? 94. Own a pair of converse? Yes. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? There was. 96. If yes, are you one of them? Never. 97. Do you text in class? I have. 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? Target. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” Fuck that shit. “Plus” implies that there is a standard size. 100. Do you want to lose weight? I’d like to be healthier.  101. Ever seen a therapist? No, but I should. 102. Ever watched porn? You asked me this.  103. Ever purposely ignored a text? Yes. 104. A facebook message? Yes. 105. A poke? I always ignored those. That was a dumb feature Facebook had. 106. A friend request? Yeah. I don’t accept a request from anyone I don’t know, but I have it set up where you can’t add me unless you are friends with someone I am friends with.  107. Would you say you read into things too much? Yepppp. 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? I don’t know. 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) Eh. 110. Ever been called a bully? No. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? Yes. 112. Ever gone to church? I went to a Lutheran high school and we used to have “chapel” every first full school day of the week (usually mondays). That was kind of a church service. And one time I spent the night at a friends house on a Saturday and was blindsided the next morning when her parents were like “okay time for church!” 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? Absolutely not! 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? Yes and no. 115. What do you want to do with your life? Lol.

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? My roots right now are basically a really dirty blonde. And my tips were black but they are pretty brown right now. And hair inbetween is mint green lol. Pandemic hair ftw. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? I’ll probably be Princess Carolyn again. Or just a bat, since I have both of those costumes.  118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? With my nieces, but we probably won’t be able to go this year :(  119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? Celebrities. 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus? Yes. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? I have. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? Yeah. 123. What’s the last movie you watched? Oh god, it’s been a while. I Love You Man, I think? 124. Last TV Show? Property Brothers, lol.  125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? They wouldn’t.  126. Ever been called a whore? Jokingly. 127. Are you american? Yes. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? Yeah. 129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend? Uh huh. 130. Are you Cute or Gross? Yes. 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? No one has said that to me in a very long time. I don’t recall being bothered by it, though. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like? Um, yes? Why couldn’t I? 133. Ever had the lead in a play? Not the lead, no. 134. What about a solo in a concert? Nope. 135. What kind of a student are you? I did okay in grade and high school. 136. Worst subject? All of college. 137. Best subject? Not college. 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? Yeah. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? Seeing as she’s dead, yeah, a little. 140. How late do you sleep in? On work days I sleep until the absolutely last minute, right before we are supposed to check in for a daily meeting at 7:10am, lol. And on weekends or days off I normally don’t sleep past 10.   141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? A little. I brighten up my face and smooth it out. Sue me.  142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? All my friends are beautiful in their own ways.  143. Do you believe in love? Yes.  144. Would you consider yourself a good student? Didn’t you ask this? 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” It just seems kinda pointless cause they likely won’t see it. 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy? Yes.  147. Are you going into High School this year? Nooooo. Thank goodness. I did my time and graduated over 10 years ago. 148. What about Junior High? Omg, no. I’m old. 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? Ugh, anything.  150. Where did you find this note? @lovemesomesurveys 151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? None. 

[typicalfictosexualfangirl]

dare-out (bnha one-shot; shinso x todoroki x mina x f!reader)

a/n: idk this idea just got into my head and yeah i really wanted to write it, i’m gonna use first person pronoun for the reader bcus that’s how i roll, and don’t question the way i write HAHAHA

summary: four people out to do some dares !!

Shoto, Hitoshi and I were lazing on the couch, just some casual netflix and chill while Mina was taking her own sweet time dolling up.

Well, in actual fact, it was only Hitoshi and I watching Lucifer that was playing on the television as his head laid on my lap.

Shoto was leaning against my shoulder, eyes glued to his phone, probably scrolling through Instagram or something. The three of us had bought him a smartphone his last birthday and yeah, we kinda convinced him to download social media so we could tag him in pictures and create a group chat where we share posts of memes and drop not-so-subtle hints of gifts that we wish someone would get for us.

Shoto adjusted himself on my right, shifting his butt further from me so that he was now lying on my lap too.

I sighed, realising that we have waited for Mina for almost 2 hours. “Babe, are you almost done yet?” I yelled from my place on the sofa, struggling not to move too much and ruining the comfortable positions of my two boyfriends.

“Yes!” she staggered down the stairs.

“Finally,” Hitoshi heaved, sitting up. The three of us turned to look at her, to find out the outfit that had wasted all of our times.

She had on a pale blue long-sleeved crop top that showed off her navel piercing that was of a breathtaking amethyst, a grey skater skirt that stopped mid-thigh, and furry ugg boots.

She spun one round for us to take in her entire outfit, “What do yall think?”

“I think,” I paused for impact, “that did not have to take a full one and a half hour,” I finished my sentence, smirking at her.

She pouted, “Bitch.”

“Now that everyone’s ready, can we go and get some food already?” Hitoshi complained.

“In due time,” I turned to him, pecking him on the lips, “but before that, let’s play a dare game.”

This time, Shoto spoke up, “That doesn’t sound good.”

“Aw, it’ll be fun!”

“Yeah, it does sound fun!” Mina exclaimed, wrapping her arms around me from behind the couch.

“So, we will split into two teams, the ladies versus the gentlemen, and the game will last until dinner time,” I explained the basic rules of the game, “the team that gives in on the most number of dares will have to do the other team a favour, deal?”

Knowing that they can never say ‘no’ to us, both Shoto and Hitoshi sighed in defeat.

“The boys can start,” I suggested, looking up at Mina who gave a nod in agreement.

“Okay, we’ll start with..” Hitoshi trailed of deep in thought, “[Y/N], wash your hands in the toilet bowl,” he smirked at me, the rest of our jaws dropping.

After processing the information, I caught myself and smirked back at him, “Easy.”

The four of us headed to the bathroom as I plunged my hands into the toilet bowl, Mina flushing it for me.

Once I lifted it from the water, I started spraying the water at Hitoshi.

“Oh no, you don’t, get away from me!” Hitoshi screamed as I chased him around the house.

Shoto helped me blocked his way, restraining him with a hug to prevent him from running any further as I happily wiped my hands clean on his shirt.

I thanked Shoto while Hitoshi muttered, upset, “I hate you.”

“I love you too,” Shoto smiled at him.

Mina kept her phone away and spoke up, “Okay, Sho, I dare you to order every single thing on the menu at McDonald’s.”

Shoto grinned at the sound of that, whipping out a credit card from nowhere that was very much Endeavour’s, “I can do that.”

“How has he not terminated that card already?” I questioned.

Shoto shrugged, “Probably because he’s willing to go to great extents to make up to us and patch the family back together.”

“Well, whatever. Let’s all go get some food, I’m starving,” Mina whined, shoving us all out the door.

“Says the one who made us wait for 2 whole hours,” Hitoshi stated, earning him a slap on his upper arm. “Ouch,” he rubbed the spot he was hit.

“Guys, stop the domestic abuse and pick up your pace,” I joked.

“You’re the one who abuses us the most,” both Hitoshi and Mina retorted.

I cowered into Shoto’s side. “Sho, they’re bullying me,” I pouted, causing Shoto to let out a chuckle and he patted my hair.

Buying out the entire menu was certainly a once-in-a-lifetime experience. We ended up having an eating competition, that was a draw between Mina and I, and quite a bit of leftover food that we did not touch.

We decided to pull pranks on people with it by immediately serving the food to them as soon as they told the counter their order. There was also one time where a little boy was tugging on his mother’s sleeve, pestering her about wanting to eat what we had, so Mina just went up and dropped a paper bag in front of them. It was all in good fun.

Shoto turned to Mina, our last paper bag in hand, “You see that group of guys there? Go sit beside them and chat them up while eating their fries.”

“Sure, but if I get beaten up yall gotta stand up for me okay?” she waved us off, stalking towards them.

We watched as Mina hopped onto the chair beside one of the guys, starting up a conversation and casually eating his fries. Every time she reached for the fries, the guy’s eyes would dart from her face, to her hand, to his fries, and back to her face again when she popped the fry into her mouth and slowly chewed on it. He tried to move the packet of fries away from her but she would somehow find her way back to it and eat them again. It was truly a hilarious sight to watch.

It was only when the group stood up, the rage burning in their eyes that we decided to interfere, afraid that a fight would break out. Shoto gave them the bag of free food as compensation for the fries that Mina ate.

“Well, that was intense,” Hitoshi commented as soon as we got out of the fast food restaurant.

Mina agreed, “It was scary and hot at the same time, I’d say I’d never do it again but we all know I will.”

We all burst out laughing.

“I wanna give a dare now!” I exclaimed, raising a hand. “Sho, Toshi,” I turned to both boys, “we can’t be selfish so it’s time for us to share your bodies with your fans.”

The looks of horror on their faces made me laugh out loud again. They sure did not like physical affection, unless it was from either one of us.

I placed my hands on their shoulders, “The two of you shall provide fanservice by giving free hugs at the central plaza.”

“Without your shirts on,” Mina added as soon as I finished.

I nodded at that suggestion. “You two can pass it up if you are prepared to do us ladies a favour!”

It was then that Hitoshi was motivated to not let the dare get to them, “Never.” He dragged Shoto by the hand and headed for the plaza, “Come on, Sho, we’re not gonna lose today. We’re gonna prove them wrong and show them that we can do this.”

At the plaza, Mina and I were seated at the fountain, holding up the signs we had made for the boys to give hugs to the members of the public. It was a heartwarming sight indeed, people of all ages going up and wrapping their arms around them, the genuine smiles on their faces contagious and attracting a whole lot of attention, brightening the day of those that were here to witness this exchange.

“They would be so much more popular if they were more willing to smile in public like that,” Mina whispered in my ear.

I nodded in agreement but I couldn’t imagine it. They have definitely become more expressive ever since the four of us started dating, but my selfish ass kinda not want anyone else to see the expressions they could make.

“Earth to [Y/N]!,” I heard Mina spoke as she wave a hand in front of my face, breaking my reverie.

I shook the thoughts out of my head, “Sorry, I was just thinking about that large group of schoolgirls before.”

This caused a smirk to form on Mina’s face. “Ooh, girl, you jealous or something?” she nudged me in the side.

“I guess,” I muttered, embarrassed.

“But you were the one who dare them to do this,” her voice was accusing, even though that was the absolute fact.

“I know,” I heaved a sigh.

“Aw, babe, you know you don’t have to be,” she wrapped an arm around me and I leaned my head on her shoulder, “you mean so much more to us than we can express, and even if those two idiots were to dump your stupid ass, just know that I’ll always be here,” she comforted me.

I gave her a smile as thanks and she leaned down to kiss me, a reassurance to tell me that she meant every single word she had just said.

Shoto had his hands on his hips and Hitoshi had his above his knees, both of them were panting hard.

“Whoa, you guys seem like you just came back from a workout or something,” Mina commented on their sweaty and disheveled appearances.

After catching his breath, Hitoshi spoke up, “Damn, that was harsh.”

“[Y/N], you alright?” Shoto asked me gently, coming to sit on my other side.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Yeah, other than being jealous of the group of girls back there, she’s good,” Mina explained the situation in my stead.

I shoved her away from me, “Traitor.”

She stuck her tongue out at me in response while Shoto tilted his head slightly in confusion, “But weren’t you the one who suggested we do this?”

“That’s what I said!” Mina huffed.

“That’s why I couldn’t say anything,” my voice was muffled by my hands covering my face.

Hitoshi sat on the now empty spot beside me. “You know there’s no reason for you to,” he pulled me into his side.

“Yeah, to us you’re irreplaceable,” Shoto added, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning on me, “it was all thanks to you that we are who we are today.”

“That’s what I told her!”

I grinned. If anyone asked me what bliss was, I’d tell them it was this moment, but it was not only that, it was all the moments I shared with them, all the memories we made together. Four people of different personalities, backgrounds and lifestyles coming together, and sharing a house together. Sharing a life together.

“I’m so glad you guys are a part of my life.”

a/n: THIS IS NOT THE END, I WILL BE BACK WITH A CONTINUATION, MORE DARES, AND MORE OF THESE FOUR 

[sierrabinondo]

woodland creatures tour - day 7 (greensboro)

normally i feel very weird about sleeping over people’s houses, just in general??? you know what i mean? sometimes you just can’t get comfortable because you’re not in your own bed, not because of where you are or who you’re with. on tour i’m so fucking exhausted and so comfortable with living like i’m a backpacker that it’s all just normal to me. like a brat i located the couch and crawled up onto it while everyone else took an air mattress. i would have slept on an air mattress but we couldn’t fit one lmao. 

i automatically woke up at like 8:30 and couldn’t fall back asleep, so i got up and started getting ready. tour has also made me skilled at being able to freshen up and do my makeup in the crevice of any house, hotel, car, you name it. i try not to make noise but inevitably everyone heard me and slowly woke up one by one. the door was unlocked so i started to pack whatever i could into the van. god, it was so beautiful out. though we were in the south, and the temperature was still pretty high day-to-day, at this moment it just felt like the most beautiful fall weather. we managed to get out of the house at 9:30 am, which we were aiming for. james’ roommate, who was leaving for work, kindly wished us well as we packed up the van to head out. we unfortunately missed james so i shot him a text. 

the day before, taylor and i coordinated a group outing to the greensboro science center, which was a museum, zoo and aquarium all in one. for the price of $12 per person, since we were a group!!! incredible! before heading to greensboro, which would be our shortest drive all of tour (an hour and a half!), we hit starbucks and panera again. when we pulled up to the panera it was in a shopping plaza with people lined up waiting for like... verizon to open???? so bizarre. 

i desperately needed to hunker down and get some work done before we hit the road, for the most part my phone was providing reliable wifi but i had a time sensitive task that needed to be completed. once that was done we hit the road. we arrived to the science center and once pulses. showed up, we headed in. the science center was so sick. we started our trek around the building at like 1, and penguin feeding was at 3:30. but with so much exploring to do, we knew we’d be able to kill two hours and a half easily. 

we started with the zoo portion a

nd saw a lot of cool animals. they had a lot of atypical mammals you don’t always see at zoos. what they DID have was R E D  P A N D A S, and theY WERE AWAKE. back at home we have the cape may zoo which is soooooo sick, i love going there, but their red pandas are always sleeping. i literally cried because the red pandas at this exhibit were so much closer, and they were romping around their lil home. the one red panda hopped off its perch and CAME TO THE WINDOW TO SAY HELLO IT JUMPED UP RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. i definitely made a fool of myself getting loudly emotional but i didn’t care in the slightest. my entire life was made. we also saw an owl at the barn where the petting zoo was!!!

we were all laughing so fucking hard cracking jokes at every exhibit. it felt like an adult school field trip hahaha. i was having so much fun. it was nice to enjoy something together and not be stuck in a van in a rush to get somewhere. the outdoor area tuckered us out pretty badly from being in the heat, so it was nice to get back inside to go check out the aquarium in the air-conditioned building. the aquarium was pretty sick, there was a tank that was home to the biggest octopus i have ever seen in person. i was most interested in the otters and penguins, to be honest. we also hit the touch tank which was sick, except i had to soak my entire fucking arm just to maybe get a crumb of attention from a sting ray. they were swimming everywhere but where i planted myself. 

after going through the aquarium, we still had some time to kill before the penguin feeding at 3:30 pm. we hit the gift shop, where they had red panda and barn owl plushes. what a coincidence, both our tour mascots!! i’m a sucker for stuffed animals so of course i bought one. taylor bought an owl for pulses. so now we both had FRIENDS to represent our bands. we went downstairs to go check out the snakes and lizards. not as exciting for me, but still sick. we were going to hit the museum part finally, but it was 3:20 so we figured might as well head over to the penguins. it was worth the wait. there was a penguin named gojira haha

it turned out that there was enough time for us to get food together before the show. jaime found a restaurant named pastabilities, it was a sit-down but you could make your own pasta dish chipotle-style???? so i got chickpea pasta with chicken, sundried tomatoes, spinach and mushrooms. sooooooooooooooooooo good. i wasn’t going to get pasta because i was going to try to be a healthy guy but ugh what the fuck ever. i love pasta. i’m not going to rob myself of pasta opportunities!!!! we had another really wonderful meal together as a tour package. i guess because we were the biggest group and you could hear us talking loudly about tour the staff figured out we were musicians. the manager came over and started asking who played what haha. 

after a delicious early dinner, we drove to our hotel for check-in so that we could drop our personal bags. pulses. followed us because they were just driving home after the show later, and waited in the parking lot until they could head to the venue. i forget the name of the hotel we stayed at but the people in there were super suspect, and projecting those vibes FOR sure. taylor said she thinks she saw a guy walking around with a burner phone as a car was slowly driving in circles around the parking lot. i’m like great, last thing we need is another scary motel. our stuff ended up being fine though, it was one of the better spots we stayed at. 

pulses. awaited us at the venue and we arrived a little after load-in started. it was super quiet when we showed up, we set up quickly and waited around. the house we played, ice house, was huge. so much more massive than houses in new brunswick where students in jersey host shows, mostly. there was so much room to move around and sit, it was nice. at first it seemed like not many people were inside, but then you go outside and there’s DOZENS of kids hanging out drinking. eventually more and more people came inside to watch the bands too. glow and terms x conditions were great! 

for all of us, it had been a weird afternoon, but we did our best to be positive and just rip our set(s) as best as we could. and the change in attitude paid off! both our bands received awesome crowd response from the people who attended. it was awesome to see people jamming out and genuinely having a good time. also uh a fight broke out during our set??? insane. there was a kid trying to take down everyone, like just to the ground lmao, and when he tried to do it to david he put in a chokehold. and david grabbed his arm and was just like, STOP. i made everyone stop playing until we sorted out that everything was all right. i had to play without my in-ears which sucked, in the past i have always struggled and tired myself out trying to sing loud enough over the monitors. so i just tried to listen carefully, sing carefully and trust myself. and joe said i hit some like bananas note during synapse that i haven’t been able to do since?? i remember going for it and it was fine, idk maybe it was actually BAD, but i will never know now haha. 

we didn’t sell merch, nor make a lot of money, but i think what counts as a successful show is when people receive you super well. leaving a positive first impression on somebody as a band is so important to me because that person could potentially go on to listen to us for a long time. i will say though, it’s important to try to help touring bands make money if you can, like legit anything. i know we’re small guys and we’re not worth much, but we travel so far from home. and this is the ONE time of year that we actually do need money to operate. i’ve run into people who don’t believe in this, or don’t understand. i guess it won’t be possible to make those people understand until it happens to them. it’s why we can only tour on vacation time and even then we deplete our funds. 

we sweat our fucking asses off playing the house because it had no AC, so nothing could feel more refreshing than loading out during a rainstorm. i wasn’t even mad that it was raining. it felt so amazing. normally i bug out during crazy storms, but the thunderstorm was lighting up the sky in an incredible display. it continued as we said our goodbyes to pulses. before they headed back to virginia late, and we made our way to sheetz for post-gig eats. i wasn’t going to pig out but i was feeling the munchies. sheetz doesn’t really have anything wawa doesn’t have except for the tacos, so i got some hard shell tacos that were absolutely banging. also wonderful, they had my favorite flavor of bon & viv (black cherry rosemary) so i grabbed that too. eating tacos and drinking late was NOT a smart move the night before we played our last show on tour, but boy did it feel like a nice TREAT after playing a fantastic show. 

[tequila-clifford]

Not the anon from that question, bu still lowkey curious about your NYC story?

Lorddddd, here we go, okay. SO Kortni and I are from Maryland, Amanda (@angelbabycal) is from Philadelphia, obviously a lot closer to NYC; 3 days before the show, Kort and I went to stay with Amanda. 

7/20/2014 We had been running errands all day in preparation for the trip: Getting waters and snacks to put in our backpacks and getting what we needed to make our posters for the show. We finally got back to Amanda’s house and after eating dinner, we immediately started working on our signs (I will include photos of them at the end of this post) Let’s estimate and say we started working on them around 5pm??

7/21/2014 We worked straight through until 6am (about 18 hours without sleep at this point), at that point we were taking turns to shower and packing up our bags, whoever wasn’t in the shower was using a hair dryer on the signs. We were being picked up at 7am and taken to the train station in Trenton, NJ. When we got to the station, Kortni was in charge of getting the tickets, WELL, she accidentally got the amtrak (or however tf you spell it) tickets which were like $200 EACH so that was STRESSFUL. I think we had like an hour until our train got there, so we were sitting, waiting. Then I started to feel sooooooo sick ( probably wasn’t the best idea to have been drinking all night while making our posters) I made approximately 27 trips to the bathroom in the span of an hour and I was FREAKING OUT bc we were about to get on a train to NYC and I was sick as fuck, but I was NOT about to bitch out and not go to this fucking concert. When our train arrived, I was finally starting to feel a little better; I went right back to stressing when the 3 of us got separated on the train bc there was so many people. We made it to Penn Station (and reunited) around 9:15am, I think? We had never been to NYC, none of us, so we found a map and made our way to Rockefeller Center (around 10 am?) to get our wristbands. When we finally got there, there was no one in giving out bands, but it was impossible to miss all of the other people from 5sos Fam, (when Luke tweeted about the fam literally taking over the city, he wasn’t lying) so we asked around and found out where to go. We finally found the line with other fans to get wristbands (10:30ish), and idk security I guess(?) was putting people into cages barricades. LET. ME. TELL. YOU. these barricades each had 25+ girls and they couldn't have been larger than the size of a parking space, we sat for OVER 3 HOURS. IN THE SUN. IN THE MIDDLE OF JULY. We had been awake for about 25 hours when we FINALLY got our bands and were released from band jail, but not before being told that we could NOT wait in Rockefeller center for the show, and that if we came back before 6:30am the following morning, we would be escorted away by the police. Oh, I failed to mention, WE HAD NOWHERE TO STAY BC WE HAVE VV GOOD IDEAS WITH VV BAD PLANNING. So, we had about 16 hours to kill before they opened the barricades back up for the show the following morning. So, we essentially walked around the city the entire time; which’ is not a v smart thing to do when A. you’re wearing vans and B. you have thick thighs. (y’all KNOW what I’m talking about). Later in the afternoon, the 3 of us went to Build-A-Bear to make ourselves Ninja Turtles: Michelangelo for me, bc Michael. Donatello for Amanda, bc Cal. Leonardo for Kortni, bc Luke. And we made Raphael for Guro, bc Ash. So now, on top of our backpacks, we were also 3 dumb asses carrying around stuffed Ninja Turtles. Like I said, v bad planning. Throughout the day, we met tons of people from the Fam which was AMAZING, even stuck together as a big group for awhile walking around the city and to what we thought was the boys hotel (but i’m not about all that stalker shit so we only stood across the street for maybe 20 minutes before we went our seperate ways) At this point it was probably close to 10 pm, we had been awake since noon the day before and we were running on adrenaline. We decided we needed to go change into the clothes we’d brought for the show and to clean up however we could. We walked for about 45 minutes to Grand Central (taking our time bc we had hours to kill still) to use their bathrooms and freshen up then we sat on the floor there for probably close to an hour charging our phones and trying to get even a little bit of rest.We didn’t want to get in trouble for being there so we eventually left and slowly made our way back towards Rockefeller Plaza. These places are not that far apart, but i’m telling you, after walking nonstop all day, it felt like hours. 

7/22/2014 It was 1 or 2am when we finally got to a place we could sit down, of course as soon as we did, we started dozing off and CAN’T DO THAT IN NYC we were told by police that we had to move, so up we were again with another like 2 and a half hours before the barricades would be opened So we walked some more until we decided to stop and finish getting ready; obviously it was still dark outside, so us getting ready consisted of one of us holding the flashlight on our phone and one of us holding a front facing camera while the other did their makeup. When we were just about finished, we saw people RUNNING towards the plaza. IT WASN’T EVEN 5:30AM AND THEY HAD STARTED LETTING PEOPLE INTO THE BARRICADES. OUT. OF. ORDER. So the wristbands that we had with numbers in the 100′s (meaning we should have been in the second group) now meant absolutely nothing AND bc we were told the barricades wouldn’t be open until 6:30am, we were now in the second to last group. We sat in those cages barricades until they finally started letting people in, and when I saw them letting in every single group ahead of us, I was literally fighting back tears. The Today Show is 100% GA so we were packed in tight, and I have been to GA shows before so when I tell you tight, I mean TIGHT.  We stood for about 35 minutes before the boys came out for their soundcheck and fans behind us immediately started trying to push their way forward (like where tf you think you’re gonna go? We are literally in the Azkaban of concert seating rn) . We were so far back that we could hardly see the tops of their heads. The 3 of us literally felt like we were dying, I don’t know if you’ve experienced like 40 hours of no sleep, (plus walking 80% of those 40 hours) but it really fucking hurts. Amanda and I were leaning against one another to literally keep from collapsing, our legs felt like jello and we were dizzy from exhaustion. THEN the girl standing behind me NOT ONLY started kicking my legs AND “accidentally” pulling my hair, SHE WAS TRYING TO STEAL MY NINJA TURTLE FROM MY BACKPACK. Now if this had been under normal circumstances, I would have given her a warning before literally beating her ass for putting her hands on me, but, I was in no condition to start and altercation. The boys finshed their soundcheck, which I now have zero recollection of, and we tried to hold out until they came back on. After about 30 minutes (if that, honestly this part is pretty fuzzy bc i was half dead) we physically could not stand anymore, we flagged down the nearest security guard and asked if he could let us out. They had the streets blocked off a 1/4 mile in each direction surrounding the plaza, he told us that we had to be outside of the perimeter once we left the barricades. We were devastated but the alternative was to be carried out by medics bc there was NO WAY IN HELL we would have lasted in that crowd. Let me tell you, when you work that hard to see your favorite band, when you’re so fucking close and then it doesn't happen, it’s awful. When you work that hard to see your favorite band, and they start their set, the second you’re outside of the 1/4 mile radius, it is soul crushing. I’m pretty sure we cried the entire way to Penn Station. It was barely 8am and our train back home didn’t come in until 4pm. We finally made it there and slept in the chair all day. refusing to speak of anything that had happened, and then slept on the train home. We walked back into Amanda’s house without peeping a word about “How was it?!” and we passed out on her floor for 16 straight hours, woke up to pee and eat, then crashed for another 12.

 I am telling you, that entire New York experience remains one of the most disheartening things I’ve ever gone through,  It made me lose hope that I would ever meet them or even see them again. I had spent so long defending them to everyone who made fun of me for loving them so much, then to go through that, I like mentally shut down. I know that sounds dramatic, but that makes it no less accurate. I became inactive on my blog and essentially gave up, I tried to move on from 5sos and I regret it so fucking much. Now I’m 23 and loving them more than ever because I finally realized how much they got me through and that no ones opinion of them matters but mine. 

Amanda's poster front and back

My poster front and back

I’m sorry this was hella crazy long btw 😅 but yeah. That's my NYC story.

Ask is always open!

[n0vembera1n]

I just dreamt that I was in China or Hong Kong idk it was some sort of Chinese terittory. I was in a bus and suddenly they were telling us to board this other bus but it seemed really sketchy. As I was in line inside the bus I was trying to figure out how to sneak out, when the guy in front of me grabbed my hand and we both snuck away to the front and got out without anyone noticing. I didn’t know my way around since it is a foreign country, so I followed this guy. Probably 100 meters had gone from walking and he just turned around and started walking the other direction. I stopped in my tracks and asked him, “Where are you going?” He only turned around and looked at me. He only kept looking so I went back to walking ahead. I followed the sidewalk in this seemingly quiet and barren city. There were people but not much. I turned a corner and there were a ton of street vendors. I passed by this young girl who was Arabic and she said “Free taste test” to me but I just shook my head. She got mad but didn’t do anything. I suddenly felt no trust for anyone around me and then as I kept walking this old lady gestures for me to come to her stall. I hesitated but she persisted. I went and she told me, “Don’t be unhappy. Whatever had happened to you, it will come to pass.” Or something like that. I saw that she was selling magazines so I bought one. In this scenario I was suddenly transported into a train station because as I was choosing a magazine, I turned to my right and it was the inside of a train as if I was riding the train. That’s where that left off and then I just found myself sitting in one of those bar stools outside a restaurant. With a cute chinese guy. He seemed to be my friend and he was busy preparing something. You know those cafe high, round tables outside of cafes with bar stools? That’s where I was sitting. My chinese friend was preparing food around me. The place was empty. Granted we were in some type of “Plaza Circle” and the restaurant or cafe behind me was closed and there was even a Jollibee sign behind me in what looked liked a dystopian city. Anyway, he had two White Strawberries that he’d prepared and I think it was supposed to be strawberry shortcake drowned in whipped cream >.< As he was preparing I think he asked me how I got to a place like “this.” And I told him the story about the bus incident and the guy. And how I was still lowkey salty about that guy suddenly leaving me. He laughs, “I think someone likes him.” And he nudges me. Then I told him how I just followed the sidewalk and it led me practically to “here.” He looks at me and he says, “That’s what I did too!” Then jokingly, “Maybe we were meant for each other.” I laughed and then his preparation was complete. He let me taste the white strawberry. When I bit into it, it was so sweet but it was a refreshing type of sweet. I exclaimed in delight as I expressed my joy from it. He smiles at me. That was the last thing I remember because in this part there was a girl who went inside the cafe with a bouquet of roses. She suddenly storms out with tears as she saw her boyfriend with another girl go to the cafe. I could swear I saw her run out with the roses but when I looked at my friend there was a bouquet of roses next to him. This is the part which kind of confused me. My reaction was, “Aww Preston.” I called him by my crush in real life. But this guy was chinese. My crush is white. Oh well. It was a pleasant dream that I havent had in a long time. I wish I could have recorded the whole scenario in some way because I don’t ever want to forget it. :)

[lastskiss]

My LA Reputation Secret Sessions Story :D

(i realize that this post is long so i decided to break it into fun little sections with names inspired by friends episodes :D )

The One Where Taylor Nation Attacked Me

On Thursday, October 19th I got the taylor nation dm :D The one that made my heart beat faster than ever. I stared at the blue little “new message” circle for what felt like hours (it was minutes, tops) and it had me crying and shaking at 10:24 am in my school’s dining plaza probably weirding out everyone around me. I was honestly minding my own business freaking out over the Gorgeous announcement when this happened. I could not believe it I couldn’t even breathe properly, but I opened the message and there it was, the all caps CONFIDENTIAL and everything.

The gag is, in the days before that moment i constantly shoved that thought in the back of my head because i didn’t want to be sad knowing that it would never happen to me. Yet even with it shoved in the back of my head I had such a feeling of hope. Sooo many people tried saying 1) taylor loves me 2) they think i’m gonna meet taylor this era or 3) they want me to meet taylor and as happy as that was for me it felt so :( bc it was such BLIND HOPE and i felt like it would honestly never happen for me. Ironically, i made so many tweets being sure that this would never happen to me, for example:

(the amount of old tweets or posts of mine where taylor proved me wrong and has made me look like boo boo the fool is hilarious)

but it wasn’t blind hope :D

Also, three hours before my taylornation message, I randomly tweeted “Don’t you see the starlight, starlight, don’t you dream impossible things!” which is....wild...like i can’t believe the universe works that way.

(point being i hope you guys who haven’t met taylor yet know you shouldn’t ever stop believing that this could happen for you. I know it feels like aimless dreams and impossible wishes but it definitely could happen for you, especially when your idol is trying just as hard to reach you.)

*taylor swift voice* next chapter

The One When It Was October  22nd

i have never felt so many emotions before in my life and i’m literally the most over emotional person in the world. my organs were flipping inside of me my heart was ready to jump out of my chest and there wasn’t enough air. it was such a feeling you guys. I was riding in my car with my parents where they would drop me off and i’d like to first of all thank the world that there is a 1989 secret sessions video out there so I could prove to my parents that this is a thing Taylor does and it wasn’t a scam and i wasn’t going to get kidnapped. My mom was legit scared to let me go and said “Lizbeth if you’re not back by 11 i’m gonna call the police” laasdkljakljs it was so funny (I got back at 11:17 she was scared but she obviously did not call the police she just waited outside the meetup with other worrisome/waiting parents) but anyway i checked in i met up with people and a lot of us knew NO ONe or just made friends with anyone we could find or some people did get to meet up with friends which was so nice ...honestly everyone in that room was just very friendly and very happy for each other and just happy in general. We were all going through the same “i can’t believe this is real and it’s happening to me” thoughts. So we got loaded into the bus and everyone was chatting and excited and nervous and excited and happy and just in shock. 

The One Where I’m In Taylor Swift’s Home

holy fucking shit??!!?!?!?!?!?! it was soo beautiful and big and we stayed in the pool area and were greeted with refreshments and food/snacks that i was too nervous to eat (except 1 rep cookie). When we were called inside, the room was very cozy and warm and there were candles everywhere and blankets and pillows and i loved it it was very intimate. I was so excited for her to just pop up and she did, she came in from the back and we all started screaming :D you can hear people start to sniffle bc honestly most of us were just on/off crying the whole night. She was so cute she did a little happy dance holding her laptop and there was extra screaming when we saw Alana, Jack, Ruby Rose, etc it was just so surreal. You guys...taylor was there..... she was so close and this wasn’t some high quality video interview i was watching her from this was my own two eyes and she was right there. She greeted us and explained how it’s gonna go and told us how excited she was to be doing this for us. You guys she loves us so much, not just the 100 fans in that room but everyone of us on here. She wants to do this, she’s excited to do this. She is also the happiest I’ve ever seen her be. throughout the whole night I just got very emotional at how happy she was and how sure of herself she was and just how cute it was seeing her so :D. Honestly, the fact that I’ve always called her my best friend but this time in that room she was talking to us and sharing stories with us like we were best friends was....wow. I love her. We danced to LWYMMD and it was so fun and the entire room just radiated :D :D :D :D!!!! and everyone was having the time of their lives just dancing with her. She truly wanted everyone to have a good time and made sure everyone knew how happy she was to have you there. Many of us have eye-contact moments and it’s completely amazing to know. Like that’s just how much you can tell Taylor was really dedicated to making this night feel special for all of us. i love her idk if i’ve mentioned this, i love her. fun fact: i love her

The One When I Liztened To ‘reputation’

just kidding i have a few words that i can say :D !

It was so good. It was so so so good. My face went through every emoji possible the whole album through. Sonically and lyrically it stunned us all and it was so enjoyable and full of bops and classic Taylor Swift genius writing, but like on a whole other level of amazing. That’s all I’ll say :D (Also the pre-releases, as much as i love them and would die for them, aren’t the peak of the album trust me, there’s soooo much more)(y’all are gonna be so shook)(i still am)(im also so proud of her you can tell she’s proud of her work and she very much should be)

The One When The Night Was Flawless And It Finally Happened

I have loved Taylor for as long as I can remember. She’s my #1. She’s always been, like she’s genuinely my best friend. Her saying “you are the longest and best relationship that I have ever had” that one time at the 2013 BMA’s was the most validating thing. Because like...i know. She’s been there when I was sad and when I was happy and when I needed someone. I’ve loved and defended that woman to anyone for years and have dealt with sooo many teasings and “she doesn’t even know you”s. So the fact that this happened was........ wow.

As I was getting closer and closer in line the butterflies (the beautiful kind) were going wild inside of me. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe i got to be here. I spent the last three days convinced i was gonna get a message that it was a mistake and she didn’t mean to invite me or it was gonna be cancelled or i couldn’t go or something because i was honestly so in denial. but it was almost my turn and the feeling when it’s hitting you that this moment you’ve wanted for so long is here is the most amazing and exhilarating feeling in the world. 

When it was my turn I walked up to her and was greeted with open arms and said “hi I’m liz” and she goes “Yeah i know you’re lizbeth right’ and i like gasped and was like “omg how did you know” and she’s like “yeah you’re lizbeth” :D :D :D :D (HER SAYING LIZBETH ACTUALLY MEANT SO MUCH TO ME I MADE A POST ABT IT) so i was like “taylor...i have to get this all out because if i don’t i’m gonna hate myself” and she laughed at me. queen of laughing. and then i just went for it and said “taylor, you’re my best friend.” and she said “aww” and I continued “like you are really my best friend. you’ve been there for me in my lowest moments and in my happiest moments. I love you so much. Like i literally sing with you in my car all the time and make sure it’s loud enough so it sounds like we’re singing together” and she laughed and went “oh my god i love that it’s like we’re duetting” and I’m like “yeah we are duetting taylor we honestly go off!!!” and then got serious again and told her about how there was an entire year period where I would cry myself to sleep every night listening to Safe & Sound because that year was so bad for me and it was so comforting to listen to. Then she gasped and said “oh my god” with the most concerned and loving look in her eyes. And i said thank you for everything and she grabbed my hands into hers and said “thank /you/ for everything i love that thank you” and then she went on about how happy she was that she was doing this and how she loved getting to do this for us and even with jack being there how nice it was for them to be seeing our reactions to the work they made. and she goes “and your reactions to eVERYTHING i love that” and i was like “oh my god taylor all those reactions were so genuine” “i know they were!” “because that album was just so so good it was so amazing i loved it so much!” and she said thank you :D 

when it was time for our picture she asked what kind of picture i wanted and i was like a hugging pic but for Reasons. and she looked at me like she was ready to #lizten which i appreciated. so i explained that there’s a picture of Taylena hugging at an awards show i couldn’t remember i probably looked sTUPID when she asked which one it was and i was like guh...idr.... but anyway i was like i wanna be on this side bc Selena was on that said and i was like “taylor i love you and Selena so much you have no idea I literally call myself taylena’s daughter and everyone agre-” and she cuts me off and goes “oh we would definitely adopt you we would totally adopt you she would want to adopt you i can confirm that she would want to adopt you”.... IF Y’ALL COULD SEE THE DUMB LOOK ON MY FACE............. GUH..... every time i call taylena mom now it’s gonna be #legit ....wow....anyway i was shook. so we got into position i was like another reason i wanted to be on this side is because when I met her i was on this side of our pic too and she goes “oh i like that I love your attention to detail”...wow.....queen of compliments. and then we :D (((also quick mention that the fact that she has curly hair again also meant...a  lot to me..not that she doesn’t always look good in any hairstyle ever but i’ve just always been insecure about my curly hair and seeing that she’s embracing hers again makes me emo.))))

so i hugged her one last time and told her i loved her and she told me she loved me and i walked out of the room still looking at her, facing her as i walked backwards and she still looked at me and that was it...I got handed my reputation merch bag and couldn’t stop smiling on my way out. :D

I am so happy and so grateful for her and everything she’s done for me and I feel so blessed to have gotten to thank her for it all.

@taylornation​ thank you for all the work you did to help make this possible for all of us too.

@taylorswift I love you and I miss you already. i can’t wait to see our picture together. you are still my best friend and will always continue to be. i’ll also be sending you the adoption papers for you and Selena to sign soon. :D

[scrawlingskribbles]

yyyyYYYYYY'ALLLLL I had a freaking intensive dream about Rad Likes Robots and I kinda wanna cry???? ;;;;w;;;;

[[It’s a long ‘un this time too j f c;;;;]]

*snorts* I mean I've had that episode & all of its impossible-possibilities on my mind for days now lmfao so I suppose it was only a matter of time until I dreamt about it. But I never expected it to be anything like THIS omfg!! I'm not sure if this counts as a Prophecies from the Canon Radmond Universe one because like... there wasn't anything with me watching it from outside this time like I had with the others? This time it was Literally like my dream had pressed play on a new episode lmfao IT WAS SO INTENSE AAAAAAA BUT ANYWAYS:

Okay, so, it started with Rad all alone closing up the bodega, and it was like evening/twilight so getting pretty dark out already but he somehow still saw some movement over at Boxmore---3 shapes sneaking out of a side door and then booking it off down a nearby street, and Oh Boy Wasn’t That Suspicious. So Rad of course was like "oh jeez wth is going on here this Can't be good" so naturally he went to follow after them & got a little bit lost but eventually he did catch up enough to see them again & saw that it's---surprise-surprise---Darrell, Shannon, and Raymond.

But they didn't seem like they were doing anything awful---yet---just walking along and talking and teasing each other and talking about some kind of betting or something. Rad couldn't really hear them that well because he was keeping his distance so they wouldn’t notice him as he kept following, because even if they seemed okay for now he simply couldn't wrap his head around the thought that they could be up to anything that wasn’t Bad ((jeez Rad did u not learn ANYTHING from Mikayla?? ://)) so he kept following them to see where the heck they were headed so casually at this time of night and probably stop them if he had to, like a ~true hero~. 

So after a while of unexciting following them down streets & mostly back alleyways they rounded another building & when Rad got to the corner he accidentally slammed right into them because they'd stopped & waited for him. They were all like glaring at him AND RAYMOND WAS ACTUALLY CARRYING A JETHRO THIS WHOLE TIME ((not in the baby carrier tho; I weep TuT)) and Darrell was just like, "alright LOSER, you've been stalking us for blocks, what gives?? Don't you know it's creepy to follow people??" and Rad was just like baffled like, "???? excuse ME but when I see a bunch of Boxmore bots it's never a good thing, so I was trying to see where y'all are headed. Care to enlighten me now that I’ve actually got you talking, save us both some time and get it over with before it starts?" 

The bots all made a face & Shannon crossed her arms & snapped, "That's none of your business. Now leave us alone." and Rad was like "uh-huh, that's a totally believable argument. Wow, I never thought if it that way~! You're right, that's completely answered all of my questions, thank you~!" but of course that was super sarcastic and so Raymond was just like "We're not off to go do anything bad, if that's what you're worried about." And Rad was like, "Uh-huh. That's totally believable, too. Definitely not what bad guys say right before they go do something bad. *scoff* Do you really expect me to believe that the Boxmore Trio---err... q-quadrio? ((is that even a real word???? x,D))---isn't up to trouble? C'mon, what bank or store or warehouse ya gonna rob? What poor innocent victim ya gonna terrorize? What Evil Errands is Buttman having you run for him in the middle of the night????" ((even tho?? it was still kinda light outside so it wasn't THAT late??)) 

And Shannon & Darrell were like completely fed up already & totally ready to start throwing down but Raymond grabbed onto Shannon's shoulder ((bc he only had one arm bc of Jethro ;w;)) & he was like quiet & thoughtful for a moment before going, "Maybe we should just take him with us?" & the other two were like !!?!!?!????? (and so was Rad honestly x,D) but Raymond was just like, "Well clearly he's not just gonna take our word for it, so he'll just end up following us anyways if we leave him be, and I don't wanna get into a fight before we even get there, so..." He dug into the backpack that Darrell had been wearing this entire time & threw a dark blanket/cloak-thing at Rad & was like, "You want proof that we're not doing anything bad? Fine. Come see for yourself. But don't let anyone else see you; they're not gonna be as tolerant of a hero like you as we are." 

And then they all turned and started walking again without another word so Rad had to scramble up off of the sidewalk & put the cloak on & start following them again & the whole time he was just thinking to himself like "???? so it's SOME KIND of bad guy meet-up then---still doesn't sound good you know!!" But he was actually really curious now and kinda secretly super grateful that they were actually letting him come along?? because honestly why should they but whatever he wasn’t going to argue.

So the siblings all went back to talking and completely ignoring Rad’s existence until they got to a seemingly random side door of a building & followed the steps down inside, and it was like... idk, a fight club, I guess???? x,D Like an underground wrestling/MMA type-thing meets those robot wars/battles??? Like the thing in BH6 yanno, but I know that it's a real life thing too lmao I just dunno what they're called x,D The thing where people make robots & then fight them?? lmfao you know what I mean.

 So like, it was a bunch of different robots ranging all kinds of sizes and colors and builds all crowded around a ring cheering & stuff just having a great time while two other robots battled it out in the ring lmao. And like, because they're robots it was like, battling to the DEATH okay, like you only had a winner when the other robot was in pieces lmfao it was brutal and I freaking love it x,D

And Rad of course was just like "?????????? UMM??" bc what the heck is THIS, are these ALL a bunch of evil robots all crammed into this tiny space?????---but immediately the Boxmore bots got swept up in the energy & were all grinning & cheering & having a great time along with the rest of the crowd & Rad was just so bewildered & Confused. After a while Raymond leaned over & was like, "The real rounds are gonna start soon, so if you’re going to stay and watch then find yourself a good spot and don't let anyone find out who you are. And, hey, who knows, maybe you'll even enjoy yourself~?" And then they were gone & Rad was left alone in the crowd, but he did what he was told because he was So out of his element here but he was still so curious (and still a Bit suspicious tbh) that he definitely didn’t wanna leave, so he found a good spot & settled in just as the lights dimmed & an announcer voice came booming outta nowhere to welcome everyone to tonight’s tournament & announce that the fights were about to begin so all the robots that would be fighting needed to make sure they signed in to the roster/bracket ASAP so the night could begin. 

And yeah basically it was just the robots all facing off & fighting each other x,D I think it had like different sectors/levels too, like so it could try to keep the unfairness to a minimum by not putting the simpler Jethro-like bots up against the more highly-advanced ones like Darrell/Shannon/Raymond but idk because it kinda just montaged at that point lmao, but in the flashes they always looked like pretty equally-skilled/developed opponents, so~ But yeah the announcer was like spouting off stuff about each robot & their creator when it was their turn to be introduced & Rad realized that there were a few other (both cloaked and non-cloaked) non-robots in the audience as well, presumably the villains whose robots were fighting tonight, & Rad was like sweating bullets because he was apparently surrounded by both evil robots and evil villains & he was super nervous about getting caught now. But then as the fights went on he kinda forgot to be nervous because he got really into it actually ((c'mon it's robot fights, of course it's interesting xD)) & he actually started really rooting for the Boxmore bots because they were the only ones he knew and he was like full-on cheering & stuff when they did well lmao, even tho Jethro went out like immediately and Darrell & Shannon only got in a couple of rounds before they got smashed out, & Rad ended up actually being kinda sad for their losses too. 

But then Raymond ((of course *rolls my eyes So Hard at my predictable subconscious*)) was finally up to fight his first round and the announcer brought him in as "your reigning champion" and Rad was like "!!!!!!" and Raymond winked at him (it had to be at him, right, who else??, Rad thought) and then he just started wrecking his competition almost like it was nothing. Like he did still have to try & he was taunting & teasing & making bad puns the whole time just like he does when he fights at the Plaza, but he was totally just like blasting through all of his opponents & Rad was kinda like legitimately awestruck almost & evEN DID THE LITTLE "he's so... powerful..." THING LIKE HE DID WITH ENID I'M SOBBING........ 

And then it was down to the last two robots, which were of course Raymond and then AGH I don't remember the actual name my brain gave them but they were this really cool electric-blue robot that kinda looked like Cheshire from the original Teen Titans?? ((which now that I think about it is basically kinda what a more-humanoid Mikayla might look like if they had been yellow.... hmmm.... x,D)) and it's the Final Battle of the Night so u Know it's gonna be Good bc these are the two strongest bots in the whole place if they're the ones that made it to the final round & the crowd is so intense & Rad is Loving It. 

So of course ((I'm just gonna call them Ches now lmfao screw it)) Ches was like, actually super good of course and was actually giving Raymond a real run for his money for probably the first time that night. It also didn’t help that he'd already fought however many other rounds & wasn't completely unscathed from those (but neither was Ches tho so it was still pretty even on that part I'd guess), so this fight was like REALLY Super Intense and Good! And there was a part where Ches had Raymond tackled down & was about to win & Rad was all worried like "No c'mon Raymond you can't lose after all this!!!!" But then ofc Raymond pulled it off in the last second & flipped it around on them & BOOM, Ches is now in a million pieces scattered throughout the air and the crowd goes wild. 

But Rad's the one who jumped up and cheered the loudest, and Raymond could see him all happy and yelling and having such a great time out in the crowd, and Raymond gets this certain look on his face, kinda confused, for a second before it turns into a grin & he bows all dramatically a few times for his adoring public (and maybe some not-so-adoring sore losers too lmao) before the lights go up & the announcer guy was like welp that's the last of the fighters tonight so hope see everyone back again next time~!! 

And Rad was like on an adrenaline high now & just so stoked because Raymond ACTUALLY WON THE WHOLE THING OMG that's so COOL & he found Raymond back up by the front door again with Darrell's backpack over his shoulder and a box of Jethro/Darrell/Shannon parts to take back to Boxmore. And he just smiled all smug as Rad started talking at him a mile a minute as they left the battle club, going on & on & on about how awesome this was and wtf how long has this been going on and OMG Raymond you were GREAT man wtf also umm REIGNING CHAMPION, HELLO?????? 

And Raymond just laughed like, "Yeah, I've basically been sweeping the competition ever since I first stepped foot in the ring a few months ago. It's kinda sad sometimes how easy it is, but that’s just the territory that comes with being the best~ Every now and then I get a real challenge or two towards the end, like Ches tonight, and those really are a lot more fun than just wrecking through the unchallenging opponents~" 

And Rad snorted at his haughty/stuck-up/smug tone & was like, "Well too bad all this secret practice and winning doesn't seem to be helping you guys in trying to defeat us at the Plaza, huh?" & he was smiling & his eyes were all glittery & he was really just half-teasing, but Raymond only kinda shrugged and adjusted the box of smashed robo-parts in his arms. 

"Well, it is almost a completely different scenario. When we're out here fighting you guys, it's a whole different ballgame than when we're battling each other back there in the ring. It just a bunch of robots in there, you know?" 

And he looked at Rad pointedly at that ((bc Rad called at least Jethro simple/etc. back in Jethro's All Yours but how did Raymond know about that huh????)) and there was something about the way he said “robots” in such a dismissive tone when he was talking about all the amazing things Rad had just seen---talking about himself---that made Rad feel weird, & he furrowed his eyebrows, kinda a little offended on his behalf actually, & looked up at Raymond with these big, shiny, honest eyes and went, "Hey, don't say it like that. I like robots." 

And it took a second for him to register what he said & he like flusteredly blushed a tiny bit & pulled the cloak tighter around his face & basically pouted to the fullest extent now as they kept walking. But Raymond (after a couple seconds of mild shock like he had done back when he saw Rad cheering for him in the ring) just kinda smiled in this certain knowing way, but didn't say anything else either. And then the last shot was just of their backs as they walked beside each other back towards the Plaza, and then the end card slapped up and it ended. 

AND BASICALLY I LITERALLY WANNA CRY???????? WT-ACTUAL-F WAS T H A T, BRAIN???????????? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEE-HEEEE-HEEEeeeee becAUSE THIS EPISODE IS LITERALLY N E V E R GOING TO EXIST BUT I NEED IT LIKE AIR NOW?????????? F R I C K;;;;

[up-among-the-stars]

Cycle 307

The five times Kaizo forgets his birthday, and the one time he doesn’t.

i.

Kaizo is sixteen when he first forgets.

Granted, he forgets a lot of things these days, but none of which he actually means to. He's taking his time with the mask, and while the side-effects aren't disabling, they're not exactly productive, either. It's annoying, how the memories he wants buried stay vividly clear, but Imus forbid he remember his own naming day.

So when his grandfather walks in the training room, a whole shift early and wondering why he hasn't started cleaning up, his first response is a very eloquent, "What?"

The general stares at him. "We're going to the plaza."

"...why?"

"It's your naming day," the man says with a slight frown, watching as Kaizo blinks in realization.

"Oh. Right."

"You forgot." It's not a question.

Kaizo hums, looking back at the sentinel he's pinning on the wall. He releases his hold and ends the simulation with a quick command, idly watching the bot sink back to the floor. He can still feel his grandfather watching him, but he honestly doesn't know what to say.

It was his choice to keep the mask, and the consequences were something he just had to live with.

He settles with a simple, "It's a work in progress."

Kaizo meets his grandfather's eyes, lets the other search his face for a few moments, and waits. His mouth quirks upward when he gets a small nod, knowing that the general has seen his resolve. Out of habit, he does a quick salute, before heading off to his room for a quick shower.

Training can wait; for now, he has a celebration to attend.

ii.

There are... things outside his room.

Kaizo is barely back from his latest mission when he spots the colorful mess in the hallway. He was gone for a couple of lunar cycles to patrol the Latsyrk quadrants, having picked up a couple of frequencies that belonged to powerspheres.

He'd managed to collect five of them before deciding to head home, which is how he finds himself in this current situation.

Frowning at the storage blocks scattered at his doorway, Kaizo wonders if someone dropped them, before pushing the thought away. Everyone in the East Wing knows where his room is, if only to avoid it. He's not the... kindest of people, especially after long-term missions. He blames Bora Ra for that one.

Upon closer inspection, he notices one that looks like Maya's. Bronze has always been the mechanic's color, so he picks that one up, half convinced that it's safe. If anything ever happens to him, he can always drop by her shop for an unannounced visit.

He's turning the cube over when he notices the storage date, then everything clicks.

Oh, Kaizo thinks. It was my naming day.

He hadn't really been paying attention to the date recently, but he supposed those close to him still did. Pressing the release button, Kaizo steps back just in time to catch a metallic blue slab, sleek sides tapered off to a handle.

He shifts to hold it properly and watches as it morphs around his arm to form an ion blaster.

Maya really doesn't hold back, Kaizo thinks, smirking at the possibilities for his next mission. The sword may be his preferred medium, but even he wouldn't refuse something with twice the power. He shuts it down before grabbing the other blocks still at his feet, wondering what the others got him as he finally enters his room.

iii

He's still bleeding.

Kaizo pants as he stares at the wound on his side. With a grunt, he lets his head thunk back on the tree behind him and tries to catch his breath, fairly content with being idle for the first time in two cycles. He knows Lahap enough to assume that the lieutenant has kept the data chip safe, so for now, he has only one problem.

He counts to ten before trying again.

"Xek'trs," Kaizo hisses, voice sharp in his mother tongue as he presses his activated sword against his side. It's one of the messier ways to deal with his injuries, but the wound has been bleeding enough to make him worried. He'll have to clean up better once they get out of the system.

It's after the fourth try that he finally manages to cauterize the cut successfully.

Damn Iaku and their traps, he thinks darkly, remembering how their target had worked with bounty hunters. It's not every day that they went to a mission with half the specs they needed, but this one happened to be more of a surprise than the captain was expecting.

Absentmindedly, he thinks how bad of a surprise it was.

He doesn't exactly remember the day.

iv.

There's a missed call, and from a direct line.

Kaizo narrows his eyes at the yellow triangle blinking on the screen. There are three options: either he's been found out, his planet is under attack, or it's a really important tip that he's been waiting for from the few contacts he has.

Whichever it is, he's going to have to call back.

Pulling up a few lines of code, Kaizo sets a frequency. The holographic display lights up a few moments later, and on it is -

"Aeron?"

From the screen, a guy visibly lights up as he signs a greeting. Kaizo offers a quick smile, before asking, "What's with the call?" He watches as the other signs, brows raising with the speed and every cut-off sentence as the man on the other line turns more sheepish.

"A," Kaizo interrupts after the fifth attempt is waved off, "As funny as this is, can you at least tell me if there's a problem?"

Aeron freezes mid-motion, before slowly signing, 'no.'

"Okay." Kaizo blinks. "Why'd you call, then?"

"He wanted to greet you, idiot."

Kaizo can't help the smirk that makes its way on his face at the reply. "Still ratting people out, greaser?" he asks, waving off Aeron's panic at Maya's sudden comment, "Same as always, I see." There's a snort, and Kaizo can practically hear the eyeroll in her reply.

"So are you. You would've forgotten your naming day if A hadn't called."

"Fair enough."

v.

"Captain?"

"Yes?"

"Do you... think we could visit home?"

Kaizo looks up to see Fang staring at the ground, hands fiddling with his gloves. It's a little amusing how nervous his brother still gets around him, though it's not surprising, with all that he's done. He's not exactly the best sibling in the world.

Although -

"I don't see why not," he says, tilting his head at how the other seems to perk up at that. "Something important?"

Fang blinks at his question, before looking away and mumbling, "Sort of."

Interesting.

-

If he's going to be honest, the last thing Kaizo expected Fang to be worried about was his naming day celebration.

Their parents had been surprised, to say at least, but so was he when Fang pressed to have the trip in a cycle. Kaizo watches as his brother talks animatedly with their parents, telling them about adventures he had with his friends.

It's... nice, seeing them again.

Though it's not something I can always afford, Kaizo thinks.

He stares at his soup as he takes another sip.

(+ i.)

So, the kids know when his naming day is.

But did they really have to do this? Kaizo thinks, three parts amused as he stares down at the pile of... presents outside his ship's control room. The other fourth of him is feeling an odd sense of déjà vu, but that's mostly ignored for the shocked look on his lieutenant's face.

"Lahap," he says, startling the other to attention, "You start the ship."

The lieutenant makes a face. "Captain?"

"I'll deal with it," he replies, crouching to pick up the a-little-too-bright bundle. Color-coded, he assumes, eyes automatically finding his brother's gift, as well as Boboiboy's. There are three green packages, though, so he assumes that the twins were in this, too.

Really, what is it with people and naming days.

a bunch of important notes (read: headcanons) for those who are confused:

- i have this headcanon that kaizo’s grandfather is a general??? idk, it sounded pretty cool, and kaizo had to get his military background from someone

- another headcanon: kaizo’s mask is an incomplete weapon, kind of like a prototype, so sometimes it messes with his brain and makes him forget things

- birthdays are called naming days in their planet (as features in another fic of mine).

- edit because i forgot ajjsjahs: Imus is one of their planet’s three major deities 

- when he’s not at home, kaizo stays in the garrison. his room is in the east wing.

- Latsyrk quadrants: a bunch of quadrants opposite from the one that has kaizo’s planet.

-  Xek'trs: made up curse word because i want kaizo and fang to speak alien languages!!! or something, just let them have a mother language, please.

- Iaku: another made up thing, but now an alien race. they’re known for hunting, hence the traps.

- maya and aeron are my ocs!!! read more about them here. 

- ps. i know very little about interstellar communication omg, im sorry sdjfhsdak

- the kids would totally give the captain gifts, if they found out about his birthday. they’d throw him a party, but they’re not close enough, and most of them can see that kaizo isn’t one for huge celebrations.

- gifts the kids probably gave: tea (from boboiboy, and yes, he asked fang to help), a cupcake (from yaya, bUT DON’T WORRY, THE OTHERS HELPED), a pin (from ying, and it definitely says ‘rebel’), a glass figurine (it’s kaizo’s sword, gopal didn’t know what to give but his friends kept bothering him, give him a break), new gloves (from fang, because kaizo actually goes through them pretty quickly), and alien tech (sai gave him the latest comm link in the market, and shielda gave him a holopad, also the latest in the market)

a/n: i feel very conflicted about this because i feel like i haven’t shown my view of kaizo as well as i wished??? but thats because too much of what i have are headcanons and i cant write well enough without making you guys confused??? anyway, this doesnt look like it fits the theme much either, but hear me out: the thing that makes it not-so-happy is that kaizo doesnt really care for his naming day. it - it would’ve made sense had i published my first entry for kaizo week, but then it would need more explaining and its 1 am and i need to sleep. bUT ANYWAY, i hope u guys at least enjoyed the fic skdjfhjksa

[chocolatewraith]

Thorns of Yesterday  - Ch. 2

Sooooo... Long wait for this update... I am not good with social media but I try! Depression has a good way of keeping me in bed and asleep and... not wanting to do anything but I digress. This chapter is kinda long-ish.

Takumi x F!Corrin/Kamui (Fire Emblem Conquest storyline)

Warnings! - Major Spoilers. Character death, angst, implied incest* (but not actually, please read the A/N), comfort, hurt, yandere, smut (later... maybe) A/N -  Okay. I’m going to say this now so as to not have any “omg you like incest” No. No I do not. There are many reasons why I say NO. If you haven’t played Fire Emblem Fates I suggest you do so, or at least look up the Avatar - Corrin. The next chapter blatantly states why this is not actually the case. This is hard to explain unless you idk... KNOW THE PLOT OF THE GAME. Also this is going to be written from Takumi’s POV for the majority of the fic. Enjoy!

Screams.

The ground quaked beneath my feet. “W-What happened here?” I was in disbelief, scanning the now ravaged plaza. Where there was once a bustling crowd now stood silence; there were no sounds, no faces, just empty, lonely, nothingness. In the centre of the fractured square stood a hooded figure, and before his gaze was - Corrin, cradling our mother in her arms. Shock took the breath from my lungs and I turned and saw my sisters turn pale.

‘Mother.’

“You there! Show yourself!” Ryoma lunged at the figure, only for it to vanish as a blood curdling scream rang throughout the plaza. It was Corrin. She had become enveloped in a bright light and where my sister once stood a dragon had now taken her place.  “A dragon?!” The words left me faster than I thought them. Ryoma and Hinoka immediately took a defensive stance in front of Sakura as Azura stayed silent, watching the dragon carefully. She stepped towards the creature only to be startled by an arrow coming between them. Nohrians. ‘ Damnit all! This isn’t the time! Nohrian scum.’

“We’ll have to deal with IT later, for now we have to take care of these assholes!” I shouted as I readied my bow and aimed for the nearest goon.  My siblings ran to my aide and we quickly bested our foes. With the threat of the invading Nohrians vanquished I now turned to face Corrin, who was still in her dragon form. Azura began to walk towards the dragon. ‘Oh. Great. Now that the smallfry are done for we have another problem to deal with! That thing. I almost forgot.’ “Azura stay back!” Ryoma warned. She persisted nonetheless.

Corrin still remained in her dragon form as Azura began to sing, approaching it slowly. Feeling cornered, it raised an appendage and knocked her to the ground. My grip on my bow tightened, gauging the situation. ‘If she doesn’t return to normal I’ll end this myself.’ The song backfires and a now enraged dragon throttles Azura, pressing down on her throat. We ready our weapons, eyeing the two of them warily, Hinoka looked ready to throw herself in front of Azura. 

‘Come on Corrin. I don’t really want to kill you but I will if I must. Come back.’

“Kill me if you want. But do it as yourself”. Soon after she had said this, the dragon began to fade and Corrin reemerged. ‘She’s back. Thank the gods.’ She staggered at first and looked pained and confused. “I remember it all...” She began to weep. ‘Fantastic. Here come the waterworks. Just what we need.’ I put my yumi away, irritated, shaken, secretly glad but also not willing to listen to her self-pity. “I remember the day Garon kidnapped me. Father died to protect me as well. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry I couldn’t see this coming.” She continued.

‘Are you kidding me? That’s what you’re upset about? After all that’s happened you pity yourself?’ After everything that had transpired, this was the last straw. “Your apology means NOTHING. This is all your fault! Mother is dead and so are countless others. And it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t shown up on our doorstep.” I regretted the words as every time they left my lips. I knew it wasn’t true, but I continued.

“You don’t belong here!” The words echoed in the empty plaza as she stayed silent through my rant but Ryoma quickly jumped in to stop me. “That’s enough, Takumi! Garon sent her here as a pawn. I’m sure of it. I assume that sword was a present from him as well” She nodded. “This was a trap and he used you to complete it.  We will not speak of this outside of our circle, lest the entire nation be thrown into chaos.” He warned.

We began to walk away when we heard a faint rattling. From the rubble of what was once a statue came a sword, it was drawn to her and flung itself into her hand. “A sword?” She remarked. Ryoma stared at the blade in awe, as he spoke, “Can it be true? The legendary Yatogami?”. “The Yatogami? What is that?” She questioned, examining the blade. “The Yatogami is a fabled weapon of yore. Only those chosen can wield the sacred blade”.  I was taken aback. ‘You’re kidding me. She’s the chosen one?’  Before I could complain any further Hinoka spoke up, “Come. Let us return to the castle and let the others know what happened.”

 It was a silent and painfully long walk back to the castle. Once we had returned Corrin remained behind and was laid in bed as a physician tended to her wounds. Azura stayed behind to make sure turning into a dragon didn’t do any physical trauma to Corrin’s body. “Ryoma, what do we do now?” Hinoka sighed. “We hold a meeting, call our retainers as well as Yukimura. This is going to be a long night.” He nodded in Sakura’s direction and she quickly went to go round up the retainers and find Yukimura. Once everyone gathered in the great hall and my brother explained what had happened, keeping certain details out to protect Corrin.

“So… You’re saying that the queen died to save her? Then… Then this is all her fault!” Oboro snarled and threw her staff down, while others murmured similar thoughts. Everyone started to become heated, angry, as was I. They began to grow louder and argued as to whether or not Corrin should stay. I still didn't trust the girl and the loss of our mother was too much for me.’Nohrian wench. She came back only to torment us. If only Rinkah hadn’t brought her back. If only we hadn’t had that stupid ceremony. If we only had taken her weapon. If only.’ My thoughts began to blur and I began to openly ramble, “I agree. This is all her fault. Nohrian scum. We should never have let her back here. She was probably working for them all along. We shoul-”

“TAKUMI!” Ryoma’s sudden roar silenced the room. It remained so until Yukimura chimed in. “S-since we've debriefed everyone, let us adjourn for tonight and talk about succession and other duties tomorrow morning. Is that alright Lord Ryoma?”  Scanning the faces of the group Ryoma nodded. “Agreed. Everyone leave, except you Takumi”.  The hall slowly emptied, leaving only me and my brother to fill it.

He walked to the steps of the throne and patted the spot next to him, I could see that I was in for a lecture. ‘Well, let’s get this over with.’ I had only taken a few steps forward when he had asked, “Why do you hate Corrin so much? She’s our sister”. I froze. He was right. I had no real reason to hate her, she was taken from us by force, held captive for years, but for some reason I couldn’t help but despise her. I know it wasn’t really her fault. I hadn’t quite realized my feelings for her yet, and a part of me believes that Ryoma already had an inkling.

“I don’t hate her.I don’t really feel anything particular towards her. She’s a stranger to me. Sister or not. I don’t care”. Now there’s a lie if I ever said one. I folded my arms in front of my chest. ‘Ok well maybe I do care. A little.’ As if hearing my thoughts, my brother raised an inquisitive brow. “Well if you don’t hate her, then why do you show such hostility towards her? She hasn’t done anything to you” He questioned. ‘Crap. He got me there.’ I was pacing back and forth in front of my brother, talking to myself, wondering why. I took a seat next to him. “The things that I said were just in the heat of the moment. I was angry. I know it’s not her fault but none of this would have happened if she hadn’t come back.” I spoke softly now. Looking down at my hands. ‘I’m sorry but it’s true, even if it’s only partially.’ 

Ryoma gave me a pathetic look, like the doting older brother he is. He calmly spoke to me. “Takumi, I understand that you’re hurt. We are all grieving... You want to hear what I think?” Sure. Why not. What more could he have to say to me. “What?” I sighed. He got up from the steps, patted me on the head and began to pull something out from his hakama. “I think you should read this. It’s from Queen Mikoto.” He shoved an intricately decorated scroll into my palm as he left the hall.  I sat there, staring at the scroll, then at the empty throne where our mother once sat. ‘What is so important for me to know that Ryoma thinks I should have this?’ I carefully examined the scroll, the seal held the insignia of the royal family. “What is it you couldn’t tell me in person? Mother...”

[sporadic-writer]

What’s in a name (pt. 2)

Bucky x Reader

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, idk anything else someone might not like

This is an OC series I’m working on. I’ve connected it with the X-Men stuff and it takes place after Civil War, but it all works out.

pt. 1 here 

---------------------------------

E stood in front of her mirror in her room the X-Men mansion. Dresses scattered on top of her bed made up her discarded pile. Beside that pile, sat Jubilee scrolling on her phone. She was called in to help E find a dress for the party and auction tonight at the Plaza Hotel.

“What about the shimmery orange colored one? Put that with some nude heels and you’re set.” Her gummed snapped as she asked.

“Nah I wore that a while ago, plus I think Meghan (Pixie) wants to borrow it for a date. The open back is good with her wings. I don’t know.. I want the right dress! I haven’t gone to a function with the Avengers in a long time. Hell, none of us have in eons! I wanna look good.” She huffed as she pushed back some silver hairs from her face. “Juju bee what about the dark green one? I’d put it with my black corset heels and some gold accessories?” She turned to face her friend on the bed and looked at her with a questioning expression.

“You look good in anything! Ugh you could have a feed bag on your head and be a goddess.” She huffed while dramatically dropping her arms on the bed. Then she calmed down and gave a serious reply. “The green would look good. You managed to get a date with James Proudstar with it.”

E titled her head to the side and slightly nodded in agreement. She smirked and said, “You’re not wrong. And those were a few good months of dating him. Til he left me for Blink. I can’t even get annoyed or upset because they are so sweet. Plus, it wasn’t going to go anywhere.. Anyway! So green it is. Hair up or down?” The friend replied up and went back to her phone.

“Any other reason you want to look so good tonight? Finally going to let Sam Wilson think he has a chance with you?” She stayed to keep her friend company while she got ready for the event tonight, but couldn’t help but tease her a little bit.

Blushing, but rolling her eyes, E played defense. “No, no reason at all. I just want to look good. That a crime?” She played back, but her mind flashed to a certain someone. “It’s nice to be noticed.”

“I’m not saying it isn’t, but the Avengers are hot and we don’t see them all the time like the guys here. Not to mention, you need to get some.”

“Says who?” She gives you a look and a snap of her gum. “Fine maybe I do, but as much fun as a hook up is, I’m looking for a more secure, long term type thing here.”

“Well if you want that, then a bolder eye look; and straighten your hair. Really get someone’s attention tonight. But then it’ll be the ones who aren’t intimidated by you.” The pyrotechnic mutant grabbed the silver-haired woman’s shoulders and put her chin on her head while twirling a few hairs.

*fast forward to the evening*

Music and chatter swelled as guests mingled around the Plaza’s grand hall. E found herself at the base of the stairs, talking with some political head honchos. She was three cosmos in and only feeling herself being barely buzzed enough to deal with them. Some of them were still condescending towards mutants, despite the fact that they’ve saved the world’s ass more than a few times. She was here to have a good time and not to listen to people drone about the real world, let alone politics.

“You know what gentlemen, lady, I have to… walk away now.” She stepped away leaving stunned high-powered figures. As she approached the bar again she heard Tony laughing.

“Those people will be pissed at me now because of that.”

E rolled her eyes, “Please, they barely like me anyway. Plus I’m sure one of them will drop a fat and impressive number and win something at the auction. That and the drinks will help them forget all about it.” She turned to the bartender and ordered a shot of silver tequila and another cosmo. “Thanks for the open bar by the way. Want a shot?”

“I’m good. Thanks though, and I know it takes more than the average amount of booze to get you toasted but umm any reason you ordered a shot at a charity auction?” He wasn’t judging, but genuinely curious.

“Oh you know, having one for Wade. Plus I’m preparing for Sam’s next pass at me.” She smiled at the man in front of her with the rose-colored glasses. “Now if you excuse me, I am going to go mingle and find a cute man to dance with.” She strutted away to scope out everyone present, starting with the auction tables. That way she could made a bid or two in the meantime.

While E was conversing with Tony, others were having their own fun. Off to the other side of the bar, Thor was pouring Steve and Bucky some of his industrial mead. The three men, Wanda, and Sharon Carter were talking amongst themselves, waiting for the party to kick in a little bit more before going out to the crowd.

“Hey Buck, if you stare at her anymore I think you may either go blind or put a hole in her.” Sharon spoke up from her brandy while Steve suppressed a laugh into his new cocktail. “Go ask her to dance or something. She clearly is here to have a grand time. She just downed that shot like water.”

The long haired man almost glared at her, but he was too busy watching the subject of conversation indeed take the shot like a champ. And he was a bit impressed. He noticed Tony and her laughing as she followed her shot with another cocktail. He was curious about how she was handling herself. It must have showed on his face, because Steve spoke up beside him.

“It takes a bit more than usual for her to be effected by alcohol. She can get drunk, quicker than us, but about five shots of Everclear to her are equivalent to one or two shots of any average liquor to any average person. So about three shots of Thor’s stuff. Maybe though, since she’s never actually had any. Sam and Clint learned that the hard way. E drank them under the table! Now, go ask her to dance. She’s heading towards the auctions.” Steve nudged him in her direction as the others egged him on.

With a grunt and small glare at his friends, he approached the woman whose purple eyes were permanently burned into his brain. As she’s glancing at every item up for bid on the tables. He takes not of her elegant stance and the way her hair stands out against the dark green of her dress, and sparkles from her gold accessories make her shine. An idea however, pops into his head. So he makes a detour towards the DJ. Once he walks back towards the woman, La Vie En Rose begins to play. His pride boosts a bit when he sees her perk her head up and smile. He did have the right idea!

“Would you like to dance?” He asks simply to gain her attention. When E smiles and nods yes, the words begin to play. The metal hand Bucky is known for grabs her own and his hand places itself on her waist, and hers goes to his shoulder. However, it is the English Louis Armstrong version that begins to play. With a scoff he says, “Damn I meant for the original to play.”

Her eyebrows perk up and she thinks it’s cute how he put some thought into the song. “It’s quite alright. I may know both versions, and the original is a classic, but there is something beautiful about this one.”

“At least it’s long enough for a proper dance. Especially with someone who knows how to genuinely dance.”

“People nowadays know how to dance, just not the classic manner we grew up with. I will say, I do appreciate that you know how to properly lead. Last time I had one of those was in the 80s.”

He instantly wants to know more about her past, to know everything about her unique history. “Someone special?”

“He was actually.” E takes note of his slightly surprised answer, not expecting that answer. “He was someone from my past, but he’s gone now.”

“Damn I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring something like that up.” Guilt washes over him, despite her reassurance that everything was fine. “Alright I’m going to change the subject now in a not so smooth manner. How many dances or drinks will it take for you to tell me what E stands for?”

The chuckle she lets out makes him feel like he could float. “More than you may think. But you’re cute, so I will tell you that it is a nickname. Both for my powers and the fact that my first, middle, and last name start with E. Wow.. Either I am becoming a lightweight or I don’t know because I have not revealed that much to someone I just met in a long time.”

“I consider myself lucky then. Although I will tell you that one way or another I will find out your name.” She appreciated his teasing tone, it was sweet and made her really smile. “Also, thanks for callin’ me cute darling.”

They kept dancing until the song and the next one was finished. After they made a few bids at the auction, they went to the bar where the others were secretly watching them interact.

Thor was the first to greet the woman with a bright smile and fair question. “E can I offer you another drink?”

“You know I can never pass you up on that Thor. Vodka gimlet please. So how is everyone?”

“Emma Ester Edwards. My guess for the month.” Everyone turned to Wilson who looked confident in the name he just blurted out. Everyone laughed as he pouted after E simply shook her head no with a sassy smirk on her face. “Oh come on! I have been at this since I met you girl. Will you even tell me if I get it right?”

“I take offence that you think I would lie to you. I promise if you ever somehow get it right, I will tell you. But that day will happen no sooner than you lifting Thor’s hammer so I’m not worried.” She looked proud of herself for that one. Confidently she sipped her drink, flipped her hair, and leaned her arm on Bucky’s shoulder. He seemed to get the hint right away and put his arm around her waist. She felt good, looked good, and knew the night ahead was going to be worth the time spent getting ready.

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[remembermemorablememories]

Thursday, January 17, 2019

post #374

main points:

- ate toaster strudels and mom’s panera sandwich for brunch around 11am

- did last 5 NY app reviews

- play fortnite online from 2:30-4pm

- dinner pho with mom and sheena at 5:30-7pm 

- shopping with mom at lowe’s, giants, then lowe’s again

- two episodes of one punch man + another one later afterwards

today i:

- woke up at 10:30am to my alarm. then snoozed a bit until 11am

i went downstairs thinking i’d have a real breakfast for once and wanted to make pb + banana on toast. but i couldn’t find the pb. i tried looking at some of the storage containers but wasn’t sure which one it was in. dad also wasn’t sure when he packed it, so i was like oh well

then i realized we had toaster strudels, so i heated those two up. mom said she didn’t want the sandwich from panera so she let me have it. so i toasted that up and that was my brunch

- went upstairs after eating and did the last 5 NY app reviews that i had. then i helped move some of the backsplash tiles that came in. a new guy came in this morning to check out/measure the countertops and he dropped off those tiles at our door so i moved them in. it was like maybe 10-12 boxes of them

- i decided to play fortnite team rush online from 2:30-5pm. i just kind of watched a few games of smash ultimate in my down time. it was more so just to relax and pass the time. i got one good game where i got 13 kills. i love respaaaaawn

- went to get dinner with sheena and mom at a new pho place around 5:30pm. we needed to go to lowe’s after but sheena needed to come back and do homework so we took two separate cars. we originally suggested pho cause dad’s still kind of sick but we also didn’t want to force him to leave the house if he didn’t feel well. he said we could get him some instant noodles when we come back 

- got to the pho place around 6 and ate until 7pm. they had some rice chip things that i haven’t had since i was a kid. they were SOOOO good. i asked for another plate and ate all of it LOL. they’re like crunchy light rice chips... idk how to describe them but the asian grocery store we went to when i was a kid had them at the front. the pho was also pretty solid. good noodle quantity too

- we finished eating around 7pm. then mom and i drove to the lowe’s in the shopping plaza down the street. sheena took her car home so she could start on homework. i went with mom to go get 42 cabinet handles and then start looking at dishwasher options. it took us a while to find all available cabinet handles. the customer service rep said there were 43 in stock but often times they’re not always accounted for. we were able to find 25 of them in the store with the help of two customer reps. then we went to the back where the dishwasher was and tried to find one that was a good series like bosch 300 or bosch 500. we asked one of the reps to help us and they said they only have the 100 or 500 in stock. but mom didn’t like the color of the 500 and the 100 didn’t have as many features as the 300. after some back and forth, we decided to go for the 100. but then the guy said he had trouble putting in our order and said we could try to come back tomorrow so he could put it in the system properly. i asked if we could just go to the lowe’s near our house and he said that was fine cause nothing was in the system in the first place. we were there maybe 7-8pm

- we were on our way to the lowe’s near our house but stopped by giants on the way to get dad some instant noodles. also i got some ketchup, milano cookies, cheez its, chips and some muffins as snacks. so i can eat it at home LOL

- then we drove over to the lowe’s, got the remaining 17 cabinet handles (fortunately they were in stock) totaling 42. then we went to the back again to ask about the dishwashers. they had a different variety than the other lowe’s and had a bosch 300 series which mom liked and dad liked (mom was calling dad on the phone periodically to ask him this stuff). we talked to the woman and she put our order in the system to be delivered. but first they need to send a detail in to make sure the dishwasher will actually fit (since it’s not a replacement it’s a new installation)

- we paid and left lowe’s getting back home around 9:30pm. i looked a bit online at youtube vlogs of what it’s like to be a doordash driver cause i was considering it to maybe trigger the chase deposit bonus thing LOL. maybe... we’ll see

then i wanted to watch some one punch after watching OVA so i watched S1E2 and S1E3

- then i took a shower and was in bed by like 12:30am. i was ready to pass out. sheena was still working on an in class essay response for lang. and also had some APUSH annotations to do :o fortunately it might be a 2 hour delay tomorrow cause of pending snow

- then i was on my phone learning about prolapsed hemorrhoids and realized i probably have a grade 2, which doesn’t seem too bad but might need the rubber band ligation. earlier today i was wiping after a bowel movement and accidentally pushed the hemmorhoid in, i’m wondering if it’s getting better or worse from the medication. also i’ve been having constipation since i started applying the medicine on tuesday... not sure what to make of it but i’ll give it some more time and call the doctor if not

- i was lying in bed thinking about the bird box trailer cause i was curious what exactly this movie’s about since everyone was talking about it a few weeks ago. the trailer kind of freaked me out so i watched one punch man S1E4 to think of something else LOL

then i went to sleep at like 1:30am

the end