#idk where I’m going with this I’m just so frustrated by this entire city

[rurinnfane]

I’m so frustrated reading the documentation for the studies of my city’s public transit system that are informing their potential revamp — it’s all good info and very relevant to me, but not once is anyone making any mention of rider and driver safety.

They talk about the decrease in driver availability, but not why drivers are leaving the agency/the field. Every driver I had the chance to talk to when I rode the bus told me they would be leaving over fears for their safety. They often let small-scale situations (such as my own assault) slide to avoid getting hurt themselves and disrupting the line. I know they represented a fraction of all drivers in the agency but what the fuck, man. Are we just gonna ignore the times from within the study period when someone threatened a driver with a machete, or when a gun was fired on a bus, or……

It’s not transit’s job to solve public safety issues (although it plays a role in addressing root causes!) but it’s also not helping anyone to just ignore it either. I want to see public transit here get better, but it’s so much more than just deciding between higher bus frequency or wider bus spread.

[seeingivy]

fall concert

roommate eren x f!reader 

eren surprises you with a night out. 

**find the mini-series masterlist here 

content: mentions of drinking, annie and jean are horny drunks, eren being a simp, touching ur thighs? idk, scars again, reader tries on clothes and gets frustrated so like that kinda, stranger things joke

an: ok I delayed letting things crash and burn so my moots who have finals can be happy for a few more days. ok enjoy bitches there’s more jealous eren where we’re coming from

previous part linked here

- 

“Eren. Why are you…twitching?” 

You had been watching Eren for a better part of the last five minutes. The two of you were studying, your papers sprawled around the table as you finished up the last of your assignments. He seemed flighty, more than usual, like he was going to fall off of his chair any second. 

“I’m not twitching.” 

“Yes, you are. The entire table is shaking. Do you need to take a break or something?” 

You look up from your laptop again, Eren’s glasses perched at the top of his nose. You never known he wore them until a few days ago, when the two of you started studying together at home. 

“Can I try them on?” 

“What? Why?” 

“I just wanted to see if I look as cute as you do when you wear them.” 

You watch his cheeks turn a bright pink, as he very begrudgingly hands them over to you. You place them on the bridge of your nose, securing your hair behind your ears, and giving him a big smile. 

“Do I look cute?” 

“Yes. Very cute. Now give them back.” 

You twist them off your face, placing them back in Eren’s hands. 

“I’m lucky you don’t wear them all the time. I’ve got a whole thing for glasses, going on.” 

You try to ignore the fact that Eren has been wearing them ever since you said that.

He stops twitching and reaches in his bag while responding. 

“Ah. I just…have something for you.” 

You get up from your chair across from him, sliding into the one directly at his side. You hold out your hands in front of him, shaking your fingers at him to give it to you. 

“Okay. Hand it over, Yeager.” 

He places a small, white envelope with your name scribbled over the top into your palm. You give him a reassuring smile before sliding your fingers under the envelope, ripping it open. It’s a piece of paper with a green sticky note pressed on top. You run your hands over the sticky note, recognizing Eren’s handwriting immediately.

y/n. since you give me my own personal concert every morning when you take a shower, i figured id repay the favor and take you to a real one. 

You rip off the sticky note to find a concert ticket for the Monsoons, one of your favorite bands mind you, at the stadium in the city. You scan your eyes over the ticket, realizing Eren had bagged you floor seats for the concert, which was on Saturday. 

You look up at Eren, who was still nervously twitching in the seat next to you. You spring over the chairs, knocking both of you to the ground as you wrap your arms around him. You’re basically screaming at him - thanking him for getting you floor tickets, asking how much they were, that you needed to get an outfit. 

He sits up on the floor - where the two of you are still sitting after you knocked him down - and takes your hands into his. 

“Do you always knock people over when you’re excited or is it just me?” 

“Just you.” 

He rolls his eyes, prodding his fingers into your forehead, murmuring something about how ridiculous you are under his breath. 

“Plus. No one ever does stuff for me like this.” 

“What?” 

“Yeah. I think it’s the first time someone has ever surprised me with a gift or something I wanted.” 

“Well, that’s stupid. You can expect it from now on.” 

You press yourself into Eren’s chest, wrapping your arms around his again. You can feel your cheeks starting to hurt from smiling so hard and your head pounding a little, the excitement of the moment finally catching up with you. 

- 

You groan in frustration, hanging the last dress you had picked out back on the rail as you swipe your shirt back over head. 

You had been trying on dresses for a better part of the last hour - trying to find a perfect one for the concert, which was tomorrow. You had no luck - the color was unflattering, showed off too much skin, didn’t fit right. 

You feel Eren rap his knuckles against the door, asking if you were done yet. You open the door, groaning at him. 

“That one was somehow the worst one.” 

“You didn’t even show me any of them. I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” 

You shake your head. That would be embarrassing. Not that you care much about that type of stuff - Eren has literally watched you parade around in your pajamas before but this was somehow different. You tried to avoid this situation altogether - Eren taking you dress shopping - but he was the only one who was free to give you a ride. 

Armin’s parents were in town, so Armin and Annie were immediately out of the picture. They’d still be joining you at the concert tomorrow, since Eren had bought them and Jean tickets as well. Jean had lacrosse practice so he couldn’t take you either. Not that Jean or Armin were better options, but they were better than Eren. It felt too vulnerable and personal to tell him any of this and you didn’t really want him to pity you either. But here he was, watching you drown in your frustrations. 

“This is so stupid. This is why I hate shopping, nothing ever looks right on me and I just end up irritated at the end of it.” 

Eren can see the frustration building up - by the way your shoulders are tensed up and your eyes are all pinched together. He can’t figure out how to fix it - he can’t really tell you that you’re his favorite thing to look at, that sometimes he can’t keep his eyes off you no matter how hard he tries, can he? 

“Can I pick one for you?” 

“What?” 

“A dress. Let me pick one out for you, it’ll take like five minutes.” 

“You can try. I’m sure it’ll still look stupid anyways though so don’t waste too much time.” 

He watches you slump onto the seat in the changing room before running out into the store, scattering the aisles to find the perfect dress for you. He’d done this hundreds of times - helped his mom, Mikasa, his brother, Armin - find the perfect clothes to wear. Some part of him found it relaxing, picking out the fabrics and looking at all the different colors. 

His mom looked best in neutrals - dark browns and creams. He thought it made her eyes look the best, her brown eyes sparkling gold in the sun. Mikasa was best in red, maroon specifically, and Armin always looked best in blue (which was a no-go, he does have blue eyes and all). 

But you? You’d look good in any color, in anything. He’s trying his best not to dismiss the way you’re feeling, after discarding all the dresses you had already tried on, but he’s positive you’d look great in any of them. He’d be able to say it too if you actually let him see you try them on. 

He settles for a light green slip dress, the neckline surrounded by embroidered lace work. He tries to ignore the thought of you slipping it on and rushes back to the dressing room to hand it to you. 

You’re still sitting on the bench where he left you, folding all of the other clothes you had tried on. He grabs your arms to pull you up, handing you the dress he had picked out. 

“Don’t be offended if I don’t end up getting it, okay? That’s more about me looking bad in it and less about what you picked.” 

“You’re not going to look bad in it. At least let me see when you try it on, okay?” 

“You know most guys hate this type of stuff.” 

“That’s not true. Armin does this with Annie all the time.” 

“Armin’s whipped for Annie though. He’d probably willingly run over coals, happily mind you, if she asked him to.” 

Eren watches you close the door to try the dress on and nearly panics. Oh god. You know. You have to know that he likes you. Why else would you make that comment about Armin and Annie, who are dating? 

“Um.” 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, Ren. I just…can’t really get the zipper up.” 

“I can help you…if you want. If that’s okay. Or I can grab a girl to do it for you.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I don’t mind if you do it.” 

You slide the door open, signaling Eren to join you in the doorway. You turn around, swinging your hair over your shoulder, for Eren to zip up the dress. 

It’s in this moment that Eren silently thanks the gods for inventing zippers and putting them back at the back of dresses where people can’t reach them. He’s going to explode, right here and right now. 

He reaches down, slowly zipping it up while observing every little thing on your back - the freckles sprinkled all around, your soft skin against his knuckles, and your smell wafting in the air. Stupid fucking peach smell. This has to be some type of psychological Pavlov classical conditioning shit the way his heart pounds every time he smells it. 

“Do you like it, Y/N?” 

You turn around, smoothing down the fabric of the dress and turn towards Eren. He’s watching you through the mirror, your eyes fixed on your frame as you look at the dress. 

“Yes.” 

“Oh, thank god. I was actually going to have to strangle you if you disagreed with me on this one.” 

You reach forward, pulling him into your arms. 

“Thank you, Eren. You’re really sweet. I’m sorry for taking so long and getting so frustrated. I just hate this kind of stuff.” 

It’s Eren’s turn to feel his cheeks burn, using his hands to rub small circles into your back. 

“It’s okay. I know it’s not everyone’s thing. Mikasa and my mom are way worse, trust me. Don’t even get me started on how picky Jean is.” 

He feels the tangling in his chest settle at the sound of your laugh, your eyes beaming into his. 

“I used to like it at one point. Like picking out new clothes, making new outfits. But, I don’t know. Floch thought it was dumb sometimes so I kind of stopped.” 

“Floch?” 

“Oh, right. He’s the ex-boyfriend I told you about.” 

He reaches for your hand, running his fingers over the scar between your knuckles again. He had to fight the urge to not kiss your hand or kiss you every time he saw it, the anger rising in him at the thought of you being hurt like that. 

He settled for just running his fingers across it, every time it caught his eye - when you were watching a movie, handing him his keys before he left, saying goodnight. He’s not sure what he was trying to accomplish, if it even did anything, but you always smiled or squeezed his hand in return, so he never stopped. 

You immediately pull your hand back, holding it in your other one against your chest. Too much. This is too much. Eren picked out a dress for you, you told him about Floch, again, and you’re standing so close. 

“You okay? Did I do something?” 

“Yeah. No, you just make me nervous sometimes.” 

“Uh huh. And what is it that you think you do to me?” 

“Annoy you?” 

You watch his features press in frustration as he gets up off the wall, leaving your dressing room. 

“You’re impossible, kitty.” 

“Stop calling me kitty.” 

- 

Eren’s hands are shaking again, pulling back the zip of the dress. You have to be doing this on purpose. 

You look pretty. So, so pretty. Your hair is out of its usual loose bun, light waves pressed through your hair. The front pieces are braided back and he can’t help himself. He reaches forward, twisting the end of the braid in his fingers. 

“Does it look fine?” 

“It’s pretty. I like it.” 

He can’t breathe. He’s going to take you to a hundred concerts if it means doing this every time. He wants to run his fingers through your hair, watch your nimble fingers braid through them. And he wants to hug you, just so he can smell in that sweet, flowery perfume you sprayed on, in earnest. And your stupid freckles on your back- he wants to draw out constellations on them, see which part of the sky you’re walking around with everyday. 

“Ren. You good?”

“Ah, yeah. Sorry. Got distracted.” 

“By?” 

You swing around, your eyes peering into his. He’s not sure what you did, maybe the black around your eyes, but your eyes are prettier. Bigger. They’re glimmering. He can’t even look at you without panicking. 

“You have freckles. On your back.” 

He watches you twirl around, craning your neck to see them in the mirror. 

“It’s not a bad thing, Y/N. I like them.” 

He watches the smile spread across your face, as you reach into your drawers to finish off your makeup. He can’t help but watch you, mesmerized by different colors you were putting on your face. 

“Is this your first time watching someone do makeup?” 

“No. I’ve seen my mom do it a few times.” 

He sees you nod, turning back to press a light green glitter to your eyelids and then spreading some across the length of your collarbones.

“You're almost done?” 

“Yeah, just two more things and then we can go meet them.” 

You pour out a small amount of concealer onto your hand, spreading it across your shoulder where your scar from falling off the bike was. 

You feel Eren reach for your fingers, stopping you before you can fully cover it up. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Just covering it up. It’ll just take a few seconds.” 

“No. I gathered that. I’m asking why.” 

He lets go of your hand, leaning over the counter as you sit there and think. Why do you cover it up? 

“Um. I’m not really sure. I guess I’ve just always done it.” 

“Well, don’t.” 

You stare at him, his face scrunched up in frustration. You watch his expression change, immediately back-tracking from what he just said. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just mean, you don’t have to. If you think people won’t like it. It’s normal, you know. We all have scars. And yours is nice. I mean, it’s not nice that you got it but I like it-“ 

You put your hands on his shoulders, squeezing twice which stops his talking all together. He sticks his forehead on your shoulder, resting against your frame. You can’t help but laugh. 

“Eren. Why are you…word vomiting today?” 

“You make me nervous.” 

Ah. 

“And what is it you think you do to me?” 

“Shut up. You’re not funny.” 

He lifts his head up, looking back at your eyes. You’re quite literally beaming at him and in this moment he swears you could be the sun.

“I’m already having fun. I appreciate you doing this for me. And I won’t cover up my scar, if you like it that much.” 

He nods, watching you rub your fingers into the leftover product on your hand. You both walk out of the bathroom, grabbing the last few things left on your counter. 

“Wait. I got you something.” 

He watches you hop into your room, coming back out with a nicely packaged green box. You hand it over to him, balancing on the balls of your feet as you watch him open the package. 

You watch his eyes widen as he pulls the silver chain out, twisting it in his fingertips. 

“You always wear your key necklace. I just thought it would be nice to get you another one. Since you got me very expensive concert tickets and all.” 

“You didn’t have to.” 

“I know that. I wanted to.” 

He smiles, holding open his arms to hug you. You happily oblige, pressing yourself against him. He leans down to press a kiss to the top of your head, before letting you go and holding out the chain for you. You can feel your brain malfunctioning - full on 404 error, rainbow pinwheel, nothing. 

“Can you help me put it on?” 

You nod. You can feel your fingers shaking, understanding why Eren was so distracted when he helped you with your dress. Well, you didn’t kiss him before so you’re at some unfair advantage. 

Some part of this feels too intimate, helping each other get ready, him watching you do your makeup, putting on his necklace - like you were a pair of lovers or something. 

You hook the latch, lightly tapping on his shoulder to signal you were done. The two of you lock up your apartment, walking down the hall to meet Armin, Jean, and Annie. 

“You kiss all your friends?” 

“Yeah. Armin loves my soft little pecks.” 

- 

“You come around here often?” 

“Shut up, Jean.” 

You can’t help but laugh at Annie and Eren’s quick retort. Some part of you thinks they practice it when you’re not around by the way it's so perfectly in sync.  

“You two can stop pouting. I made the same joke about Armin earlier. I wouldn’t dream of bothering your precious Y/N or your sweet Armin, Annie.” 

Jean swings his arms around you and Armin, teasing Eren and Annie on. The five of you pile into the venue, scanning in all your tickets, and are immediately thrown off by how many people are there. You swore you were only there for five seconds but when you turn your head, the four of them are gone. 

You back out of the crowd, making your way to the benches to text them. 

to “jean stfu” 

you: why did you guys leave me behind,,,, ur so mean :(

armin: where did you go? we thought you were right behind us 

annie: were you holding on to anyone? 

you: no,,

jean: eren, start holding on to your girl or we’ll start doing it for you

eren removed jean from the group chat 

annie: add him back tomorrow. he’s doing too much. 

You feel a hand on your shoulder. Eren. 

“Were you planning on just standing there or following us?” 

“You guys just moved so fast! I literally turned my head and you were gone.” 

“Right. You’re almost literally in the same spot.” 

“Well, I was just looking for you guys.” 

He rolls his eyes, locking his fingers as he walks through the crowd with you this time. He’s holding you right against his frame, leading you in front of him so he can keep his eyes on you. He successfully gets you to where the three of them are standing. You gravitate towards Annie, taking the spot next to hers. 

“Find your girl?” 

“Yeah. She was where we left her, at the entrance.” 

You shift in your spot, craning your neck to see if you heard what you think you heard. Probably not. Right. Because why would Jean call you Eren’s girl? Again? And why would he not correct him? 

The five of you stand there for a few hours, screaming through the opener, and waiting for the show to start. You and Jean talk about how Eren used to be as a kid, you play rock paper scissors with Armin, and braid Annie’s hair while you wait. 

“Hey. Can we get drinks before it starts?” 

Armin nods. You go up to Eren, tapping on his shoulder and breaking him out of the very intense conversation he was having with Jean about something you couldn’t quite hear.

“Hey. Can I have my wallet? Armin and I are going to get drinks.” 

“Sure you’ll make it to the back without getting trampled? Do I need to carry you on my back?”

“Oh, shut up Ren. Wallet please.” 

He smiles, placing the wallet in your hand. You link hands with Armin, walking towards the back where the vendors were standing. The two of you break apart, Armin going to the vendor on the right and you heading to the one on the left. 

As you stand in the line, you look down and realize that Eren handed you his wallet and not yours. Asshole. You pull the cards out of his wallet, trying to shuffle for his credit card to buy the water. As you swipe through the cards, you find two polaroids tucked in the back pocket, pulling them out. 

The first one is a picture of a group of Eren and his friends. You can recognize Armin, Jean, and Mikasa, his childhood best friend that he had mentioned before. You wrack your mind, trying to remember if Eren or Armin ever mentioned that they grew up with Jean too. 

You focus on the other two people in the picture, the ones you can't recognize. One is a girl, with short brown hair tied up into a ponytail at the top of her head. She has her arm swung around another guy, with short buzzed hair. You can identify Armin’s neat handwriting at the bottom, “the scouts” inscribed onto the polaroid. 

You tuck the photo back into the pocket, twisting the other one in your fingers to get a look at it. You drop it the second you flip it over, immediately crouching on the ground to find it. 

The polaroid is of you. You and Eren. You have your arms swung around his neck and you’re kissing his cheek. You run your fingers over the picture - trying to smudge the ink, flip it over for any words, find any explanation to when this picture was taken. You can’t even remember it. 

The girl in line behind you taps on your shoulder, signaling that it was my turn to go in the line. You tuck the picture back into the wallet, buying the waters and turning back to Annie. As the two of you link arms again, making your way back to the vendor, you can’t help but feel your head running at a million miles per hour. 

When did you guys take that picture? Why did you kiss his cheek? Why did he keep the picture in his wallet? Or not tell you?

You loop your arm with Armin’s again, the two of you bustling your way through the crowd back where you were standing. You hand the water bottles to Eren, Annie, and Jean, the latter of which mentions “he could kiss you two for this” which just pisses Eren and Annie even more. 

You make your way over to Eren, taking the spot next to him. He leans down, moving closer to you so you can hear him. 

“Hey. Having fun?” 

“Yeah.”

“That wasn’t very convincing.” 

“No really, I am.” 

He squints his eyes at you, before turning back to the stage. 

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

Before you can ask, the music starts blaring over you, the two of you thrown out of your thoughts as the music starts. That’s fine. You can settle for asking him later. 

The crowd gets closer around you, nearly shoving as you push to the stage. Before you can move out of the way, you feel Eren wrap his arms around you, stopping you from getting lost again. You look up, his head right next to yours. 

“Thanks.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Towards the middle of the concert, a very tall group of people stands right in front of you. You shake Annie, who you had been holding hands with for a good part of the concert, the two of you rolling your eyes at them. 

Armin taps on her shoulder, lifting her up by swinging her legs around her shoulders. You look up, watching her laugh as she sticks her hands in Armin’s hair. 

You feel Jean reach for your shoulder, leaning his head near yours. 

“I can do that for you. If you want.” 

“I’m going to hurt you, Jean.” 

“I’m just kidding, Eren! You’re just so easy to mess with.” 

You turn to Eren, who's still standing behind you. 

“Are you sure it’s okay?” 

“Yeah. Get on.” 

He bends down and you swing your legs over his shoulder, placing your hands in his air, as he lifts you up. You try to avoid the burning sensation of his hands resting on your thighs, thinking back to the time he touched them while the two of you were sitting on his bed, and focus on the music. You reach over and link hands with Annie in the air, the two of you singing to the music together. 

Eren avoids the burning sensation he’s feeling in his entire body from holding you like this. The ends of your dress are piled up near the top of your legs, which leaves just his hands touching just your thighs. He looks up, to find you entirely distracted, screaming the song with Annie. Probably fine then. 

The second the concert ends, Eren slowly sets you down, steadying you as your feet hit the ground. 

“You good?” 

“Yeah, thanks Ren.” 

Annie and Jean find their way next to the two of you, devious smiles pressed on their faces. They’re drunk. Not that you aren't either, but they’re definitely worse than you. 

“Are you good, my sweet precious little Y/N?”

“Yeah, thank you Eren.” 

You laugh at their high pitched voices, the two of them mimicking you, as the five of you trudge out the crowd. 

“Shut up. You’re not funny. I’m going to hurt you, Annie.” 

“Shut up, Eren. That’s basically what you said to her. And is that your only threat? You can do so much better than that.” 

“That wasn’t even close!” 

Jean swings his hand around your shoulder, leaning a majority of his weight on you as you leave the venue. 

“You can do way better.” 

“Way better for what?” 

“Then Eren! You know him - he’s all annoying and egotistical and shit.” 

“Not all the time! I feel like that was just at the beginning.” 

“If you were my roommate, we’d be dating already. Scratch that, married.” 

Eren’s going to kill Jean. Like actually. He’s been trailing behind the two of you, helping Armin drag Annie back to the car. He’s not even sure when Annie and Jean found time to drink during the concert, but here they are. Wasted. 

Does Jean think he doesn’t want to date you? Eren wants to date you. He wants to date you so bad. Press soft kisses to your hair when you wake up in the morning, sleep in your bed, watch you steal his clothes. He wants to date you. 

The second the five of you reach the car, you prop Jean and Annie against the car, wobbling in your stance. You grab onto Eren, as Armin starts attempts to shove Annie in the back of the car. 

Jean gets up off the car, placing his hands on your shoulders. 

“Nice scar.” 

You pale, forgetting that you had forgotten to cover it up since Eren asked you to. You grab the loose ends of your hair, brushing it over your shoulder. Eren catches you doing it and now he’s actually going to kill Jean. 

“Hey. Can you grab water from the people at the end there? Annie will probably vomit the second we start driving.” 

The second you walk away, it’s Eren’s turn to shove Jean in the car. 

“You’re pissing me off, Jean. Get in the fucking car and shut up.” 

“Mad your little girlfriend likes me?” 

“She doesn’t like you.” 

Annie sticks her head out the window, grabbing Eren’s face with her hands. 

“You’re an idiot. How do you know she doesn’t like Jean?” 

“Annie, my sweet. Get back in the car, yeah?”

How does he know that you don’t like Jean? Like he manifested you just by thinking about you, Eren feels you next to him again, leaning against his arm. The two of you are standing outside of the car, watching Annie fight with Jean over Armin. 

“Oh my god. They’re such horny drunks. Let’s leave while we still can.” 

You stick your head into the window of the car, wishing luck to Armin as Jean reaching up to lock his fingers with yours. 

“Marry me, Y/N?” 

“Okay, Jean. Sure.”  

You and Eren walk away from the car, Jean still moping in the front seat as you walk away. 

 -

You and Eren make your way back to the apartment - your feet, ears, head aching. The two of you are sluggish, basically drinking any water in the nearby proximity and hopping to the nearest chair. The two of you sit there, your heads leaning against the back of the couch as your exhaustion seeps in. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey.” 

“Tired, kitty?” 

“Ew. Yeah. Had a ton of fun though.”

Eren’s reeling. See, he had a plan. He was going to take you to the concert, bring you home, and kiss you. 

The truth is, he can’t really wait any longer. Every single thing you did was driving him crazy - every time he woke up next to you when he accidentally fell asleep in your bed, watching you come to all his games, buying him the necklace. He likes you. Too much. He has to do something about it. 

But now he’s not sure. Do you like Jean? Did he misread you and him all together? He knows that the two of you were friends - but he thought he was just like Armin to you. He feels your head plop on his shoulder, you settling your head on his frame. 

“You okay? I feel like I can see the steam coming off your head from thinking so hard.” 

“Yeah.” 

“What are you thinking about?”

“Do you like Jean?” 

You’re quiet. Too quiet. Oh god, you like Jean. Eren’s going to kill him. Or Armin, for introducing you. Or you, for liking him. 

“Would it bother you if I did?”

“Maybe, a little bit.” 

“Just a little?” 

“Okay, a lot.” 

You laugh, nuzzling your cheek into his. Idiot. 

“It would bother me too.” 

“What would?” 

“If you liked Jean.” 

The two of you laugh before sitting there in silence, pressed against each other, pondering over each other’s words. He doesn’t want you to like Jean. You don’t want him to like someone else. The two of you can settle for that, for tonight at least. 

“Do you have my wallet? You never gave it back.” 

The wallet. The picture. This is your chance to ask. 

You turn to face him, resting your hands on his biceps. 

“Eren.” 

“Kitty.” 

“Stop that.” 

He laughs, turning his head to the side as he does. 

“You’d tell me if I forgot something right? Like, if I did something weird while I was drunk, you would remind me?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“Absolutely positive.” 

You pull the polaroid out, handing it to him.

“Papa. You lie.” 

He laughs at your joke, twisting the polaroid in his fingers. 

“Okay, Eleven. That’s enough. I totally forgot this was in my wallet when I handed it to you. Are you mad?” 

“No. I’m kind of sad, actually. I don’t even remember the first time I kissed you.” 

He leans over, his lips a few feet away from yours. His green eyes are glimmering, a look you can’t place in them. 

“Then do it again.” 

“What?” 

“If you can’t remember, then just do it again.” 

You stare at him for a few seconds, his eyes still staring into yours. He can’t be serious, can he? He does look serious. He’s still sitting across from you, leaning on the couch like he’s waiting for it. Like he’s waiting for you to kiss him.

You lean over, pressing yourself against his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. You lean forward, shakily mind you, and press a kiss to his cheek. 

The two of you stay like that, you in his lap and Eren smiling at you, for a few seconds. You can’t stand to look at his eyes, the thought of him looking at you embarrassing you. You dig your face into the crook of his neck, trying to hide your flushed cheeks. 

“All quiet now?” 

“What else do you want me to say? I just kissed your cheek. It’s your move, Eren.” 

You feel his fingers around the side of your face, lifting it up so he can get a good look at you. He runs his thumb over your bottom lip, smiling at you. 

“I want to kiss you. I want to kiss your sweet, perfect lips so badly you don’t even understand. But I have to do it the right way, okay? Think you can wait till tomorrow?” 

“What’s tomorrow?” 

“Just wait and see, silly girl.” 

You come to find out that tomorrow is not what you were hoping for. Not in the slightest. 

- 

next part linked here

taglist: @maliakealoha @smolone88 @mykyoon @squirrelspoetry @roronoazorosbxtchh @fell-4-u @erensleftnutt @thelazylemur @mg63k @filunara @mblrrr @spidersinmybutthole @lezsie @erensmoodygf @maesthebestmonth @nanamiswife22 @lalalucidity @lapin0u @cullenswife @leafguitar @saiyasworld @rebeccawinters @mrs-sullys-blog @red-moon-dream @icansmellsouls @luvinclouds 

pls let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!!! just reply to this post or leave ur @ in my asks box :D 

[vidawhump]

Dear Valentine

Masterpost

CW/TW: Captivity whump, winged whumpee, idk this one’s just fluffy

“Elias, don’t be like that. Just come down and eat your breakfast.”

Elias refused to respond to his captor, continuing to gaze out the window. The cities were right there. And just beyond that, the forests. His home, his family, his freedom, were right at his fingertips. So close, yet so far away. His life was taken away by Cassidy, and no matter how much she might romanticize the exhibitions, he hated it all. He tucked himself away in his wings, desperately trying to ignore Cassidy.

“C’mon, starling, it’s Valentine’s Day! Everyone is here to-“

“I’m not a starling. The starlings were my friends. …Don’t talk about them.”

Elias would normally bite back and start a fight with Cassidy, but he was burnt out. He would bite her in the ass tomorrow, but not today. Cassidy sighed in frustration, and Elias heard a light tap on the table below the windowsill.

“Be stage-ready by noon. Eat your food. And…” A pause. Cassidy never hesitates. “Happy Valentine’s Day. Love you.” With that, she left the room, long brown hair rippling behind her like the rivers back home. It shut with a sharp click.

Hell no. What was that? Her voice carried mild traces of… sympathy? Empathy? No. She has Elias trapped here. She’s using him. Soon. He’ll be out soon.

Elias swung out from the windowsill, angling his wings to soften the fall. Neglecting the tray of berries that Cassidy had left for him, he brought his attention to the concerningly large pile next to it. It consisted of what seemed to be hundreds of Valentine's cards, envelopes, and assorted candy hearts. And a letter opener. Of course, Cassidy wanted him to open them all. Maybe when he finished, he could shred the papers and make a mess of his room. That’s sure to piss her off.

Idly shuffling through the stacks of magentas, pinks, purples, and assorted “romantic” colors, Elias stopped at a deep maroon envelope. Unlike the others with their cheesy hearts, cupids, and pitiful declarations of love, this one had barely any details. It was dented in the corners as if it was beaten up during delivery. The outside was entirely bare, save for a matte black wax stamp, sealing it all shut. In the middle of the stamp was a crow with outspread wings. Elias’ breath caught in his throat. There was only one person who could’ve sent this.

He stumbled to fly back up to the windowsill, where the sunrise dripped in soft pinks and purples behind the cityscape. Feathers fluttering behind him, Elias scrambled his way onto the ledge with the envelope and letter opener in hand. He barely managed to open the envelope before pulling out a hastily folded loose-leaf notebook paper. Most of the paper had unrelated notes and to-do lists hastily scribbled into the corners. Between a due date reminder from months before and a dried coffee stain, were a small cluster of hearts in spotty red pen. He couldn't help but cry when he saw the familiar handwriting.

Dear Valentine

It’s been a minute, hasn’t it? Molly misses you. She’s walking all over my paper as I write this. You might see tiny bites on the paper because she literally won’t leave me alone. She knows that she can get away with anything, I swear.

New Years passed me by. I went on a walk just before midnight to stargaze under our favorite tree. And I swear, before the fireworks covered everything up, right when the clocks struck midnight, the stars glowed just a little brighter. I think between everything that’s going on, that might be a good sign. :)

The forests are quiet without you. I miss your rambunctious energy firing up the whole flock, and the way you know you were born to be a leader. The kids are asking where you went, and I can only keep up the excuse of a spontaneous solo migration for so long. I miss finding your fluffy feathers in absolutely everything I own, and the way you would make a nest of blankets on my bed and hide out in my room when you got sick. Molly likes playing with the feathers that are still lying around. She’s collecting them in a fuzzy pile in her corner. Molly wants you to come home. It’ll happen soon.

Recently, I’ve only worn your hoodies and sweaters, the ones with holes in the back for your wings. Physically, it’s colder, but it makes me feel that much closer to you. The bed is lonely without you. I miss the way I would wake up to your primary feathers all up in my face, you sprawled out all over the bad and hoarding all the blankets. If I pile up the blankets next to me with your feathers, and if I close my eyes, for just a minute, I can pretend you’re still here with me.

You’ll be out soon. I promise I’ll help you escape. I have a plan, and I know you’ll catch on fast.

Eden <3

And taped to the last page were wilted rose petals. There was a rose bush just outside his window. Elias pressed up against the window and peered down at the small bush, which was mysteriously missing a few roses. Eden was here. Eden knows exactly where he is and has a plan to get him out.

Elias felt his heart flutter, reminiscing on memories he and Eden shared. Not even the forests know what the nature of their relationship is. Romantic, platonic, does it even matter? Elias and Eden are the light of each other’s lives, so why try to label their dynamic?

Elias took a deep breath, looking out his window. The pink had slowly bled into a cloudy blue. Gripping the paper to his chest, the future was looking a little brighter for Elias.

He should probably get to opening all the other cards. Happy Valentine’s Day, indeed.

[pwnyta]

man idk I’ve been contemplating re-reading or re-watching some of MHA up until like. Where the shittening begins but I’m honestly having to ask myself if this has just retroactively ruined it for me. This is my game of thrones moment. When something had all this potential on the table and it was going strong and I was hopeful for this fun manga about superhero kids and their friendships and the way they drove each other to improve but all that has slowly been pushed aside to sprint to the end. Idk I’m not even exactly mad at horikoshi bc lord knows Shounen jump works their artists like dogs and the results can sometimes be worse than just ‘manga ends poorly’, so I’m like. Fine that this will probably be better for his health. But I’m still sad. ):

I feel ya man. It blows... for me it was either the villain arc or Endeavors arc I cant remember what came first but it was one of those two that made me go 'Damn this blows.' and then the hospital getting blown up and Gigantomachia ripping through the city was the 'Oh this series is DEAD dead. Theres no coming back from that.' and that was true... there was no coming back from that.

Yeah i guess youre right... its probably not all Horis fault but its hard not to blame him at least a little since Ive had some of the same problems with his writing the entire time (like Bakugo being a dog shit flat ass character or just random stops and starts to big world building potential moments like Stains 'corrupt hero society' or even Quirk bigotry that could have/SHOULD have been brought up so much sooner or was shown after specific points (like Toko losing control during the camp arc.)

Its very frustrating. its a very similar frustration I had for Bleach when that went down hill...

How the fuck does Oda keep OP so reasonable after all this time. That motherfucker is BUILT DIFFERENT.

[other-eye]

I GOT TO SEE LORD HURON AND HOZIER!!!! (AND CHRIS STAPLETON AND ELLE KING)

God I love my family sometimes (a lot of times). My brother got me tickets for RailBird. This is a big music festival in Lexington Kentucky and the headliners for the day I was going was Hozier and Chris Stapleton. My favorite band of all time is Lord Huron and my favorite song is The Yawning Grave and I’ve been dreaming of seeing them for years. I’ve listened to Hozier for longer and have had full religious breakdowns to his songs before. I was so excited.

We drove 5.5 hours from the great city of Atlanta to Pineville where my grandparents live and we stayed the night with them. Next morning we made the 2 hour drive to Lexington.

We stayed about a mile from the festival grounds, so we just walked. It rained the entire walk but I was prepared. I wore knee- high rubber boots and a rain jacket. We got in early, so we got some merch, drinks (I don’t drink so I got a Coke and my brother got some whiskey +ginger beer drink) and watched Elle King’s set. I hoped she would play Drunk (And I Don’t Wanna Go Home) but she didn’t, oh well, She did amazing and I loved it.

About ten min before her set ended, we migrated to the stage Lord Huron would be on. I was vibrating with excitement. I forgot which song they opened with but they had this pay phone prop on center stage and it started ringing, the band came out and I’m physically assaulting my brother shaking him like Tyler the Creator to Narduwar in that one video. Ben comes on stage and answers the phone and starts singing Wait by the River. There’s a voice modulator microphone in it so it’s giving his voice that far away echo sound they have in a lot of the songs. My brother and I both were like “that’s so smart oh my god” they played a lot of songs I didn’t expect them to play like Ancient Names Pt 1, La Belle Savauge Le Fleur, and they announced a that they’re working on new stuff and sang one of the songs they’re working on! They played Meet Me in the Woods and I almost cried. Someone came up to me and said “I noticed you singing every song! Is this the band that sings Ends of the Earth?!” And I completely geeked out about it and they asked “do you think they’ll play it!” And I was like “idk I think they might but it’s hard to tell bc they have that newer album long Lost so I think they might play more of that” and we went back to hanging out, then like 2 songs later they start up Ends of the Earth and me and the dude looked at each other like “!!!!!!!!!!”

We noticed the crowd migrating to Hozier about 10 min before the end but we stayed until the last song “Not Dead Yet”. It felt like great end credit music.

We then tried to get fairly close to the stage for Hozier but we got caught in the sardine crowd (when everyone’s so close, you’re touching strangers). My bro and I get really claustrophobic, so I started getting frantic to get out of the crowd and I could tell my younger bro was getting overwhelmed and frustrated, so I told him to hold onto my drawstring and we cut through the ppl like a sewing needle. We went over by the bar and got a great vantage point. Hozier was already on stage and I’m white person dancing to everything. BACK UP EVERYONE I NEED TWIRLING ROOM. When he sang Francesca, I just stood there in complete awe. The ending parts when he sings “I would not change it each time, Heaven is not built for a love like you and I”, I swear tears were going down my face. My brother has written a whole book and the names of the brother main characters are Jackson and Wilford are ofc based on Jackie and Wilson (which he played!!!). I was funkin, bumping, and jiving to De Selby pt 2. I couldn’t hear the name of the woman who sang with him but she was a very pretty black woman with waist long braids and he voice was so deep and smooth that when I heard her start the second verse of Work Song, my jaw dropped and I was absolutely in love (I’m sorry to my boyfriend but I’m sure he’d understand 😅). Her voice reminded me of coffee and velvet and like with Francesca, I just stood there in awe for a while. I’m one of those people at concerts that get fully possessed by the music. He ended with Take Me to Church and I thought about how I was 13 when I first heard him and the 12 years I’ve been wanting to see him, it felt like a great ending of a movie.

My brother and I were also poking fun at the concert goers too. I’d been checking the weather all week and knew it was going to rain and that the fair grounds would be a mud yard, so I told my brother to bring work boots and ofc I wore knee-high rubber boots. It didn’t rain while we were there but it did when we were walking and yep, it was a mud yard. The amount of people wearing flip flops, sandals, crocs, white shoes, and worst of all, HEELS. Who wears heals to a music festival! I was full on dancing in the middle of the mud pit bc I realized it had a clear view to the stage and no one was gonna get in it with me. It was a great time!

This was my brother’s first concert and I’m kind of a concert junkie. I’ve got a list of bands I’ve seen live and bands I want to see. I’ve wanted to take him to see concerts for a while but he never really liked a band enough to see them. Then he snagged those tickets and gave them to me, so obv I had to take him.

Chris Stapleton was beyond anything I expected. I won’t lie, I was there for Hozier and Lord Huron but I wanted to listen to some of Chris. I didn’t expect him to sound almost exactly like his recordings. That man really has musical talent (which I mean I knew, but I didn’t know to what extent). By 10:30, my brother and I were exhausted. We been there since 5:30 and it was bedtime. As we left, someone handed Chris Stapleton their fuckin diploma to sign 😂. And he did.

Probably one of the best festivals I’ve been to!!

[skullfacedog]

ok I know trying to force myself to remember my repressed memories is bad and all, thinking too much about it is bad, ik, HOWEVER I am desperate to know if they’re real so I did some research last night to try to figure out what daycare I went to as a kid bc I’m angry that I just do not remember anything about my daycare. and I looked thru like, every single daycare in my hometown that I could find online and it’s so frustrating bc I don’t recognize any of them, I feel like I’m just trying to piece together tiny splices of memories that are extremely blurry and distorted and it’s like, well I KNOW for a fact that I went to some daycare or separate preschool thing as a 5 year old before elementary school, I never went to pre-k in a normal elementary school I went to some separate preschool thing instead. but either the place I went to is closed now and I can’t find info on it online or my memory is so shit I can’t recognize it from the pictures I looked at, or it’s visually changed so much in the past 12 years that I just don’t recognize it anymore which is definitely a possibility. there’s 2 in particular that kiiind of seem familiar but I’m not entirely sure. I hate talking to my family unless it’s necessary but I may try to casually ask my mom at some point what the daycare/preschool I went to was because I was just thinking about it or something. but she’s dealing with a lot of medical stuff rn so I don’t wanna casually ask smth like that rn lol.

I also tried doing some research into convicted criminals in my hometown. none of them look familiar and I can’t find any that have been records of working at a school or daycare at all, which is kind of shocking that there are no convicted criminals who worked with kids in my hometown like there’s no way there’s just no pedos who worked with kids in that town?? so all that really tells me is that they were never caught :/ or I guess they could’ve moved and been convicted in another city/state but it seems impossible to find what I’m looking for online. the fact that there are no sex offenders who worked around kids in my hometown kinda makes me doubt my repressed memories more but ik a lot of those people, especially if they’re religious which my hometown is highly religious, get away with it for the rest of their lives. and that makes me so mad. I hope my abuser is dead or living a miserable life and slowly rotting and I really hope he’s not able to hurt anyone else.

another thing I remembered recently is my parents not wanting me to go to a religious summer camp because they previously had an outed pedo at that summer camp (he was in jail and I was 17 at the time so I was mad they still didn’t let me go lmao) and I swear I remember them connecting that situation to another time a pedo was outed after working with kids, seemingly in our hometown but I don’t remember if they said where it was? I’m p sure they just said like “nevermind” and changed the subject but I could be misremembering bc that was 9 years ago and I have absolute shit memory lol (my high school years are blurry as fuck I love trauma brain!!) like idk if I’m just making shit up to fit my narrative or if that rlly happened bc if it did that’s sus af. and I didn’t think much of it at the time so I didn’t take note of it. but whatever, I’ll prob just ask my mom about the daycare so I can get the name and once I have the name of the daycare I can do more research to figure out if they had any sus workers or convicted criminals who previously worked there or any bad reviews, and look at pictures online to see if it triggers any memories. ik I’m not ready to remember the whole thing but I just need enough to know if my feelings are legit or if I’m literally just insane and gaslighting myself into believing I have repressed CSA because I want to be sicker or whatever. I keep thinking like idk I was kinda a normal kid tho there was nothing sus about me... but then I think about how quiet I was, how I was so scared of sexual topics but in private would be utterly fascinated by it, how I was the most obedient child in existence. I literally have paraphilias and traumakinks and I’m like hmmmm maybe I am making it up and never actually experienced csa lol <3

also been wondering lately if I have a system trauma holder who just hasn’t shown themselves bc none of my current headmates are trauma holders. so like @ my trauma holder if you exist ily ty for doing your job and keeping the rest of us safe, shoutout to trauma holders fr. ty for bearing our burden and allowing me to live a SOMEWHAT normal childhood despite having neglectful religious parents and not identifying as human on top of everything else lol.

[basilraeofsunshine]

Sometimes I look around and realize I have no one I can be 100% authentic with. I keep thinking that there will be a chance to rant about the shitty things my partner does, my lack of ability to build community in my city, my hopes and dreams, etc, but nothing changes. I don’t want to spoil my friends views of my partner, i just need to rant about the difficulties of being in this relationship. I can’t be honest with him because he needs support and any time that I bring up my feelings or thoughts he gets really upset and I don’t want that. Like all my friends are his friends and I have no one that doesn’t know him. I can’t talk in therapy about it yet bc I have bigger fish to fry ya know. I don’t have ability to make new friends rn I’m exhausted from always being okay. I don’t want to always affirm his feelings especially as he tells me that for over a month he’s been not feeling like he’s pan which when he says that the reason he doesn’t feel pan is because he doesn’t feel attraction towards me. For a month or so I’ve been asking what’s wrong, what he’s feeling, why he’s pulling away, and he’s been gaslighting me the entire ducking time because he was scared to talk to me about it and it’s like… like I don’t get to be mad that he’s withholding his thoughts that could break us up ya know … I’m so ducking stressed like I don’t feel comfortable living here anymore because I don’t think he loves me or even likes me anymore. I’ve been pouring myself out for him but he won’t even be honest with me. I’ve been saying forever that if he doesn’t want to date me anymore to just tell me and we can work things out. But I’m planning on moving to Colorado with him and that’s a huge move if he doesn’t even want to be with me anymore. I’m thinking of making a back up plan for the time being. I’m thinking of trying to find an apartment that I could pay or and some roommates to lower rent. Idk where yet I’d still like to go to Colorado or to New York or New Jersey or Maine or somewhere but I don’t know. I need a place to scream my frustrations into the void and that’s gonna be here so I’m sorry if you stumble upon this post and we’re hoping for something inspiring. My life isn’t going well, everytime I find a little peace, it’s ripped away the same day and I don’t think I’ve ever felt safe in my life. Being poor trans and disabled makes life fucking ridiculous.

[lesbiansforboromir]

ALRIGHT! Since it’s all settled out a bit more and we have some actual information about the RoP show, here is a list of my concerns for it;

- At the moment, my biggest worry is now about the dwarves. We’ve had recent confirmation that Durin IV and Durin III will both be extant at the same time, so Durin III will be receiving the ring from Sauron as canon states. It also states that Durin III is some kind of ‘bad father’ or something along those lines and I just... So first off, how can two people be alive whilst sharing the same soul? Are we just going to discard dwarven culture and religion entirely as false? In a world where elves are biologically catholic, dwarves are directly related to jewish history and culture and Gimli ‘converts’ to catholicism... we’re going to just say that the ‘jewish race’ has a made up religion but the elven gods are real and WILL destroy continents with their bare hands? And are we also saying that one of the reincarnated messiahs of dwarven culture, the father to their whole race in both a symbolic and fervently emotional way is... bad? An abusive father? Like... we don’t need to do this. No one has ever even tried to delve into the intimate concepts of this whole system of reincarnation in a broad media space (except lotro) like we JUST get this whole aspect shown on screen and we immediately have to subvert it somehow? It will make me genuinely sad if this is the case and I suspect I will have to reactively stan Durin III just to cope. 

- As we are right now, it seems the furthest the show will go into elven culpability is just ‘Gil Galad was kinda naive and thought everything would be okay now’. Galadriel seems to be entirely main charactered, with I doubt any discussion of her usurpsing of Lindórinand or her lack of care for humanity in general. Indeed she seems to be fully tied into both the hunt for Sauron and the human storylines which.. I suppose is fine. But with this pervasive sense that Galadriel is untouchable in her morality, it makes me worry for the narratives of human frustration with the elves. Not that I was particularly hopeful for a nuanced philosophical walk through of all Numenor’s points of view and their abandonment by the Valar. But still... a crumb? A crumb of nuance? 

- And yet on the other hand I have seen a suspicious lack of anything to do with Numenorean colonisation. All the possible indigenous characters have turned out to be either hobbits or elves so far. And if the antler horn fellows are all we’re getting for representation of the truly vast number of human tribes living all throughout Middle Earth then well... it’s a little worrying. Not that I would trust them to do Numenor the coloniser in any kind of thoughtful way but I’m also in no way comfortable with just brushing it entirely under the rug and pretending that everything’s fine even as Isildur curses a whole population to 3 millenia of undeath, doom and torment because they didn’t come to fight for him when he asked them too. 

- What the hell are they gonna do with Corine... Like okay yes more female characters of importance but also this is... the family with two sons who very notably share power and then divide the Kingdoms between them, from the country that is the only canonical human civilisation to have Queens. The show seems to be surging forward with this ‘there is no misogyny in tolkien’ angle which is never the way I like to deal with the misogyny in tolkien’s writing but it THAT is the case then... how are we gonna explain Corine? Apparently Anarion is a child at the moment. IDK IT’S JUST... ODD? Couldn’t Corine have been Isildur’s good friend or something. Confusing!!

- Whilst I have no real investment in elves as usual, I am disappointed by the first few looks at Lindon. This kind of complete copy paste lorien aesthetic is so dull and unimaginative and pandery to the lotr films when Lindon was a Noldo built country and city. Are elves only elves when they’re in trees? Do they worry fans just wouldn’t be able to tell they were elves unless they were surrounded by golden leaves? There’s no real majesty or newness to the construction. And it’s pretty non-canon to boot, Gil Galad doesnt have his ring yet, there is no way to temporally preserve his lands in this between summer and autumn situation with all the gold leaves everywhere. 

- Another bit of one of the vanity fair articles talked about how Arondir comes from the ‘southlands’ which... I mean if he’s the one who comes and tells everybody about the massive fuck all army Sauron’s amassing out there then that’s a pretty excellent OC creation but on the other hand do we have to... explain... why someone is brown? You know black people aren’t just white people who’ve been under the sun a bit long right? Like come on. 

Other than those things, I currently have no major other bugbears. Hair colours and appearances I’m so accustomed to everyone getting wrong it barely bothers me, and as for Elrond’s apparent change of personality, I can see them wanting to say that this is how Elrond BECOMES all wise and calm and unambitious just for character arc reasons. I’m fine with Disa not having much of a beard just because there is a lick of misogynoir in putting a beard on a black woman, and she looks gorgeous anyway. Not-Gandalf-but-is-definitely-gandalf is just... it’s too much, I cant care about it. And I want Halbrand to be Sauron. There it is. 

[queridopascal]

Congrats on 1k followers. For the celebration can I get “why can't you just be honest with me? with yourself? “ with Whiskey. Idk why I saw that prompt and thought of Jack.

Thank you anon! Some Jack angst with happy ending coming right up 🥺

Pairing: Jack Daniels “Agent Whiskey” x F!Reader

1K FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION AKA NO FILTH NOVEMBER

A loud thunder woke him up, and Jack turned on his right side and glanced at the digital alarm clock on his nightstand: 6.14 AM.

He sighed and scrunched up his tired face, then slowly turned to his left; the other half of the bed was empty and cold, the sheets were still flat and tidy, and so was the pillow.

Another lightning illuminated the entire room with a bright flash and he sat up on the bed, raking back his disheveled hair.

The script of your argument was still haunting him: he said things he shouldn’t have and hurt you. You cried and left his apartment, slamming the door. Jack had tried to run after you, but once he got down on the street, you were nowhere to be found.

The thunderstorm raging over the city that morning was the perfect depiction of his frustration.

After tossing and turning continuously, he finally gave up and rolled out of bed, making his way to the living room. He headed to the liquor cabinet and opened it with a long sigh, scanning the vast array of liquors, wanting to choose his alcoholic chill-pill, but unable to decide.

“Damn it!” he looked at the ceiling, gritting his teeth and closing his fists tightly.

He ran back to his bedroom and grabbed his phone, scrolled down the contacts list and pressed his thumb over your name. His heartbeat intensified with every ring, the hope of hearing your voice making him gulp audibly.

“Hi... ” you answered, and he let out a deep breath when he heard your voice.

“Hey,” he sighed “I just… wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I really am, baby. I shouldn’t have taken it all out on you.”

“So you’re sorry now?” you questioned as you played with the hem of your sweater, picking at it with your fingertips. “Why can’t you just be honest with me? With yourself?”

“Darlin’... I am being honest with you.” he said as he pictured your sad pout, the one he would promptly kiss away. “I ain’t gonna forgive myself for treating you like that, never will. But I ain’t gonna let you go baby, I love you. And I need you to hurry back home and into my arms.”

“Jack don’t…” you shook your head and bit your trembling lower lip, your eyes burning with the sting of tears.

“Please, come back to me. I need you, baby girl. You’re all I have.” he pleaded through the phone and you started to cry, your shoulders shaking.

“Then come get me, Jack.” you sniffled, “Come get me if you really love me.”

Jack swallowed at your words, but he knew exactly where to find you. There was a place you had talked to him about, the “shelter” you went to when you wanted to spend some alone time.

The storm had now ended, and the morning sun was peeking out from behind the grey clouds as you placed your elbows on the metal railing of the bridge and looked over at the horizon. There was a gentle breeze now, the clouds floating away with it, revealing a wonderful blue sky underneath.

You heard footsteps behind you, and you could recognize them anywhere; with a shaky exhale, you turned around and saw Jack approaching you. He stopped a couple of feet from you and opened his arms, and you ran up to him, crashing against his body and wrapping your arms around his neck, hugging him as tight as you could.

“I’m an idiot.” he sobbed as he cupped the back of your head, caressing your hair. “But this idiot will always come and get you.”

“Oh Jack.” you whispered as you lifted your head and looked into his glittering eyes. “I’m an idiot, too.”

He chuckled, sniffling. “We’re both as stubborn as mules. I know I got it from my mama.”

You laughed and kissed him on the lips. “Two stubborn and in love mules.”

[frogtanii]

embarrassed ft. matsukawa issei

wc. 2.7k (???)

warnings. SMUT, not proofread lol, mutual pining (??), friends to lovers (???), cunnilingus lmao, no dom/sub dynamics, well actually dom&sub issei if you squint rlly hard hehe, kinda cute, embarrassed issei <3, also one (1) WAP reference

an. it’s 2:30 am and i have no idea why i wrote this and who for???? i got the idea from a 🦋😳🙈✨ audio and was immediately inspired idk, sorry if it’s bad i lichrally have no idea since i didn’t read it after it was done :p

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

it wasn’t like matsukawa issei to be embarrassed.

he was handsome, intelligent, and funny, not to mention he never left women wanting after a night with him.

issei was the entire package and he knew it.

beyond superficiality though, he was happy with his life. he had a great group of friends, a nice apartment all to himself and a completely normal job.

yes, being a funeral home employee wasn’t the most glamorous career a person could have but he was happy. besides, it never deterred him from getting a warm body to sleep with which was a win in his book.

all in all? his life was great!

so why did he have to go and screw it all up?

issei blames makki and the dumb flyer for the reason his life went to shit. (maybe he’s being a little dramatic, but let him have his oikawa moment.)

he was minding his own business when his best friend (recently turned enemy) burst through his apartment door with a piece of paper in his hand and a fire in his eyes.

“dude, look at this!” issei rolled his eyes, putting down his casket catalogue and turning to meet takahiro’s gaze.

“why hello to you too. remind me why i gave you a key again?”

“because you love me and because i bring shit like this to you. look!” with another long and suspiciously tooru-like sigh, issei took the crumpled paper from makki and immediately stopped in his tracks.

“makki... what the fuck is this?”

written in large pink letters and a flowery, borderline illegible font was the name, coffee and cunnilingus. upon further inspection and careful reading, it revealed itself to be a little cafe opening up about 10 minutes from issei’s apartment complex who were looking to hire “young, attractive men who are proficient at eating pussy.”

issei could feel his eyes narrow and his mouth drop open in shock as he repeated his question. “the fuck is this?”

makki shook his head excitedly, tapping to another portion of the flyer that matsukawa had not yet read. “no, no dude, just look at how much they’re paying per hour.” issei begrudgingly obliged but the minute his eyes touched the (Massive™) number, he felt a little faint.

it was a lot of money. more than the funeral home was paying, that’s for sure. with that kind of money he could move out of this suddenly dingy seeming apartment and into a nice flat in the city were he’d always wanted to live. maybe he could buy himself a nice watch or even a high-end suit to replace the one from his highschool graduation (aka the only suit he owns). with that kind of money, he could erase his student debt 3 years ahead of schedule and get his mom into a nicer place.

it was these thoughts that clouded issei’s head as he found himself standing in front of a cute looking building, matching the address on the flyer. i’ll only be working part time, he thought as he pushed the door open to reveal an equally impressing interior with curtained booths and a wide variety of coffee on the menu. i’m only doing it for extra money, he thought as he shook the owner’s hand after he finished his successful interview. no one can ever know, he thought as he dressed himself in the uniform on his first day.

thus began issei’s super secret side hustle where he ate women out for cash.

sounds worse when you say it outright but it was just working. he was good at it, the women liked him, and he was making BANK. still, there were challenges. some women refused to bathe before coming and he would have to send them to the restroom to freshen up which absolutely ruined his chances for a good tip. some women would become heavily infatuated with him, believing that they were in some sort of forbidden romance. he learned to turn them down quick and easy to avoid conflict in the workplace which furthered his space as a boss favorite. but his hardest challenge by far was meeting you.

you were one of hanamaki’s friends, having met him at one of his brief stints in retail on his search for a job. he had gotten fired but you both stayed in touch after he left, becoming really close, really fast.

issei had met you first when takahiro had invited you to the biweekly seijoh third-years movie night. at first, he had been pissed as an “outsider” had never been invited before and he was worried you’d ruin the vibe, especially since it was the first time in months that oikawa would be able to join them. makki vouched for you through and through and the other boys were okay with it so you were in. the second he met you, all his fears of awkwardness and discomfort faded away.

you were great.

you were hilarious, pretty, and could keep up with makki’s harsh jokes, tooru’s diva attitude, iwa’s tendency to hit (hard), and issei’s original disdain. by the end of the night, he had completely forgotten why he didn’t want you there in the first place.

from then on, you were a staple in their little friend group. you were added to the groupchat where you balanced memes with spouts of deep wisdom and you were ever so reliable, always there if any of them needed it.

yeah, you were great. that’s where the problems started.

issei’s feelings for you quickly went from platonic to romantic, faster than you can say godzilla. he hadn’t even recognized that he was falling for you until it was way too late. normally, he wouldn’t have a problem confessing to you but because of his newly found ...occupation, he was too nervous. how would you take it that he was basically a glorified prostitute? ok, that wasn’t exactly what he did but still! you’d probably find him disgusting and horrible and leave the friend group forever. then he’d have to deal with oikawa’s senseless whining and makki’s subtle digs, blaming him for your departure. yeah, he wasn’t going to put himself through that so he decided to keep his mouth shut.

too bad he didn’t have any control over makki’s.

you and takahiro had been on a little friend-date at mcdonald’s after you’d had a long and frustrating shift. you just wanted to vent, expressing your general hate for your job and desperate need for stress relief.

that’s when makki opened his (big, stupid) mouth and suggested that you visit a little place called coffee and cunnilingus. you nearly choked on your fries at the title before quickly pressing him for details. thankfully, he had the decency not to expose that issei worked there but he had not done a good enough job convincing you not to go there. not that it would’ve mattered. your curiosity was peaked and your libido was high so why not try out the weird cafe where you let a complete stranger stick his tongue inside you?

it was settled. you were going to go and you were going to get eaten out and you were going to like it!

or at least that is what you repeated in your head as you walked to the address on your phone before taking a deep breath and walking inside.

“hello, welcome to coffee and cunnilingus, how might i pleasure you this afterno— yn?” issei’s eyes widened as they met your equally bewildered ones, the both of you staring at each other in shock.

“matsukawa-san, is everything alright?” a large hand rested on issei’s shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts and forcing him to break (horrified) eye contact with you and move it onto his boss who was now looking down on him menacingly.

“y-yes sir, everything is fine!” he squeaked out, hating the way his voice cracked on his first syllable. his boss looked at him suspiciously but thankfully didn’t press.

“well, since nothing is wrong, take this beautiful young woman to a booth where you will assist her!” the hand resting on issei’s shoulder slowly squeezed, making him wince in pain. the pain was only an afterthought though to the larger implication of his boss’ words. he’s going to assist you. assist as in pleasure. pleasure as in eat you out.

holy shit, you were going to pass out.

apparently, issei had the same thought process as you, his face whitening like a sheet. “m-me? but sir i-“

“do your job matsukawa-san!” his boss cut him off with a forced smile. all issei could do was nod and silently lead you off to a closed booth near the back or lose his job. you stayed close behind him but remained quiet, absolutely terrified of breaking the silence and ruining the bubble you had created.

you finally reached the booth in question. issei gently opened the curtain and motioned for you to get it, to which you obliged and he followed just behind.

the moment the curtain closed, you were enveloped in an awkward silence and tense atmosphere, neither of you speaking or looking at one another for fear of one of you running out. after what felt like hours, you opened your mouth to speak, not realizing issei had thought the same thing.

“so-“

“i-“

you finally made eye contact with him and burst into the laughter, the tension quickly broken. it took a full minute or two for the both of you to calm down, the absurdity of the entire situation finally catching up with you.

“you first,” issei said, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes while fixing you with an intense gaze swirled with an emotion you couldn’t quite place but it made butterflies bubble up in your stomach. you quickly turned your gaze to the comfortable seat beneath you, your fingers playing with the red stitching while you thought of what you had wanted to say.

“are you any good?” your hand flew up to cover your mouth as your cheeks filled with heat, the embarrassment of your words catching up to you. you hadn’t meant to say that but when you opened your mouth to apologize, you were stopped in your tracks by the lovely sound of issei’s full-bodied laughter filling the tiny booth.

you had heard it just moments earlier but without the sound of your own giggles drowning it out, you couldn’t help but think that he sounded beautiful. you basked in the sound as it slowly trailed off back into silence. now it was you doing the staring making issei look off with a red face and a heart threatening to pound out of his chest.

“y-yeah i’m pretty good. you want to try? me, i mean?” his words nearly leave you gasping, your brain working overtime to try and comprehend what he was saying to you.

“only if y-you want to? what do you want issei?” you whispered, suddenly unable to find your voice. you wanted this to be okay for him too; you didn’t want him to be uncomfortable even though you wanted him more than you could verbally express. despite the embarrassment and fear of rejection lingering under your skin, you stared at him, awaiting his answer. a tiny minuscule nod came from him and you internally shook your head. you needed to hear him.

“i need you to say it, issei.” your words, while quiet, were firm and issei felt himself hardening in his uniform slacks. he swallowed in his increasingly drying mouth before opening his mouth to respond.

“i want to eat your pussy. can i?”

shit.

your own voice was stolen by his words and all you could give him was a nod before he was on you.

issei didn’t waste any time falling to his knees, pulling your panties down, and hiking your skirt up to your stomach, revealing your glistening folds to his hungering eyes.

“fuck, you’re so wet,” is all the warning you get before he’s licking a long stripe up you from entrance to clit before he’s sucking the hard, sensitive nub into his mouth. your eyes immediately rolled back into your head, your hips instinctively bucking up into his mouth while a gasped moan of issei left your lips.

if he could bottle your moans and use them whenever he pleased, he would, the sound sending another pulse of arousal to his already hard cock. he was tempted to reach down and pull himself out of his trousers but he denied himself. this was about you; you and your wet ass pussy.

issei continued his ministrations on your clit, circling it with his tongue before pulling it into his mouth while his hand was ready to get busy. it crept up your thigh, sending shivers down your spine until it reached your sopping entrance, two of his fingers teasing the slit before delving in to the third knuckle.

the moan you let out is borderline animalistic as your body sends another wave of slick pulsing out over his hand. he groaned into your cunt at your tightness, his mind only imagining him deep within you while you squeeze him for all he’s got.

the amount of slick you produced made it easy for him to add a third finger, thrusting them in and out while also crooking them upwards in search for your special spot that would have you seeing stars. it took him a little prodding but he knew he found it when your back arched, your hand came down into his hair, and you whimpered out a string of curses.

“that’s it baby, cmon, you’re doing so well, wanna see you come apart for me,” he all but growled against your clit before delving back in with a higher intensity, his desperation for you to come winning out his desire to tease you and drag this out as long as possible.

with his incessant pressure on your g-spot and his lips suctioned around your clit, it wasn’t long before he got what he wanted.

“isseiisseiisseiissei, i’m coming, i’m coming-oh fuck!” you screamed as you clenched and gushed all over his fingers, your entire body caving in with the intensity of your orgasm. his fingers were practically forced from your spasming cunt but they quickly found a place rubbing your nub side to side as fast as possible. the overwhelming urge to pee came over you and you shook your head, trying to push his hand away.

“no, no, give it to me, i know you can,” issei groaned, his eyes locked on your dripping pussy. the pleasure he was giving came to a head at his words and you felt a clear liquid escape from your tired, overstimulated cunt, your mouth opening in a silent moan before collapsing back on the seat.

the sight proved to be too much for issei as he felt his body tense, his own orgasm washing over him as he emptied himself into his boxers. he fell back onto the ground, in shock of himself coming entirely untouched. he’d never done it before but of course it was you that would bring it out of him. a smile spread across his face at the thought, his head tilting back as he laughed, catching the attention of your worn body.

“what’re y’laughing at?” you slurred, cringing a little at how fucked out you sounded but issei didn’t seem to mind, his face glowing while covered in your slick and cum.

“nothing, nothing, but uh, i have a question.” you felt your heart leap to your chest, your mind already racing with the possibilities. he’s going to say this was a mistake, that we’re just better off as friends. oh god, what if he says i stunk? or the worst pussy he’s ever had? or what if—

“want to go and get a coffee?” he asked, the smile still plastered on his face but with an uncharacteristic hint of shyness. the butterflies were back in your stomach as you shyly nodded before allowing him to help clean you up and standing, not missing how he slipped your lacy underwear deep into one of his pockets.

issei’s hand found its way into yours as he said goodbye to his coworkers and boss before leading you out of the cafe, watching you tell an animated retelling of the bullshit that occurred at your job with a warm grin on his face and pink cheeks.

it might not be like matsukawa issei to be embarrassed but if it resulted in getting you by his side? he would do it again and again.

[infinitewarden]

Osiris isn’t Savathun.

Great! Now that I have your attention:

Man you guys tire me out about Osiris. If you truly believe this is Osiris I don’t mean to sound like That Guy that’s like “you don’t know what you’re talking about” but... You don’t know what you’re talking about.

So.

Let’s talk about how much Osiris cares about the City and humanity and why the Osiris in Epilogue is not actually Osiris.

Alright. Let’s start off with context. I think it’s super important to see what we do know as Osiris’s views. From my heavy analyses of him since 2020 I can confidently say these are what he views as the most important things a person can do:

Keep promises

Speak their truths

Protect the City & Humanity

Know that the Vex are true Evil.

Now, I won’t be doing a breakdown of each one individually but I will be talking a great deal of how important honesty is to Osiris, the City, and his views of the Vex.

Speaking honestly and bluntly.

I don’t know how many of you were into Destiny before Beyond Light, so if you were unaware of this it’s not your fault. However I’ve seen a very strange change in tone when it comes to how people view Osiris. Before Season of Hunt people hated - and I mean hated - Osiris. Why? Because he was blunt. They viewed his bluntness as rudeness.

To see a sudden switch to him being secretive and scheming is... alarming, to say the least. (And to see people think that this is the norm is also alarming but in other ways.)

The Osiris before Hunt was not secretive and scheming. He sought knowledge openly. He sought, specifically, the truth. I must stress just how open he was about his plans. First I’ll give you a few in lore examples:

I admit, I found your questions divisive and disloyal, and I feared you might be capable of breaking our unity when the City's position had grown so tenuous. Why divert attention away from the Traveler, our only hope? And then it got worse, dabbling in thanatonautics, Ahamkara-lore, chasing after Xur and the tricks of the Nine. Launching expeditions into the Reef and beyond at a time when ships were irreplaceable. Your quest split Guardians along ideological lines. This was your greatest crime: Hunters chose to pursue your visions instead of protecting refugees, Titans assembled teams to chase the legendary Vault of Glass instead of striking the Fallen, and Warlocks turned away from the study of the Traveler in favor of  your  ultimate obsession... learning the exact nature of the Darkness. ... Perhaps what drives a Warlock to madness is truth.

Osiris.

"Do not romanticize this burden. We wield a weapon." The Speaker shakes his head. "The Light wields you, Osiris. You are what you make of it. A glorious extension of its majesty, in many directions." Osiris paces at cadence with his words. "Then it would do well to speak clearly. To better direct me." The Speaker cocks his head. "Without will? Then it would be no better than the Darkness." "I am asking only for guidance; it is a delicate game we are playing." Osiris's voice, distressed. Regal again, the Speaker motions to the stone garden. "Will you sit with me?"

13: Margins Part II.

And, while I don’t particularly like using the Fall of Osiris comic as a source, it does have very important lines on his viewpoints that I find relevant yet.

Fall of Osiris #1.

Hell he was open about his plans to fuck with time itself to bring Saint back.

Sagira narrowed her eye at the rogue Lightbearer and lowered herself to Osiris’s shoulder. “Why’s he here?” she asked quietly. “I asked him to consult on the engineering work,” Osiris replied, crossing his arms. “You sicko,” the other man declared, walking a circle around the Warlock, his eyes darting along every surface of the Sundial around them. ... “Just one more question, then. Why all the fuss?” “I owe him.” “I owe a lotta people, Warlock. You’re opening the gates of hell with a Vex key.” “When the Traveler brought me back, I had no friends. No family—” “No one had anything in the Dark Age.” “But Saint was always there. And I saw him grow from neophyte to demigod.”

The Sundial.

"You haven't left the Forest in years," Ikora said to Osiris, the only one to address him directly. "I need help," Osiris replied. "I know," Ikora responded, hands clasped behind her back. She stared intently at her former mentor. Back in her Crucible days, that uncompromising gaze was often the last thing her opponents saw. Aunor glanced sidelong at her superior. Harper coughed and looked down at his datapad. "Two years ago, Guardians entered the Infinite Forest," Osiris continued. "They aided me in defeating the Axis Mind Panoptes, preventing a Vex apocalypse from befalling this system. "In the process," he looked between each of them in turn, "Some Guardians reported a body they found in the Forest depths." Ikora sighed. "Saint-14 never came back from that last mission to Mercury. We finally knew why. I reacted to it the only way I knew how."

Desperate Times.

“I do not understand all of this code. This is Geppetto’s specialty,” Saint-14 says while standing bent over a wide desk covered in data tablets. Holographic images of the Lighthouse shimmer in the Hangar lights. “We could use the Crucible right now. Your trials. This will be very helpful. You mean to stay, yes?” “I will. Long enough to show you how to implement the simulation; but tonight, I must disembark,” Osiris says. “So soon?” Osiris tenses his jaw in forced silence. He twiddles with code. “I’m worried about what Vance found.” Saint places a heavy hand on Osiris’s chest. “Let go of your obsession. Do not leave chasing phantoms again.” “Phantoms… You think the Darkness is satisfied? This is just the first move. I need to know the next before it’s made.” “If there is something you fear, let me help you. We face this together.” Osiris’s mind drifts to the Dark anomalies. Saint doesn’t need another burden. “The safest place for you is the Tower, Saint. Time... tends to renege on its gifts.” “So, your mission is dangerous?” Osiris considers lying. “Potentially.”

Immolant I.

There are many more sources I could list on his bluntness and honesty but there’s honestly too much. What is important to extrapolate from all of it is this:

OSIRIS SPOKE THE TRUTH NO MATTER IF IT GOT HIM IN TROUBLE. IT IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS HE GOT EXILED.

Protecting the City & Humanity

Idk where people get the idea that he’s abandoned the City and humanity. And I don’t understand where people think it’s “typical Osiris behavior” to choose to put the City in danger.

I want to make something very clear here:

Osiris was exiled. He did not abandon the City. And though others view him as abandoning it, that wasn’t his intention. He never intentionally abandoned it. Everything he did was in pursuit of a brighter future for humanity. Let’s look at one of his lines from the Sundial activity during Dawn.

“By the time I left the City, many believed my practices to be sacrilege. But my methods have prevented countless futures not unlike the one you walk now. When it is laid out before you, would you not sacrifice anything to see this future shut?”

The Sundial.

He left because he weighed his options and he saw that humanity would have better use of him if he left. He cares A great deal about the City. He cares almost too much about it. He would never give Lakshmi the technology to cause it harm, especially knowing that she’s unstable. And I’ve seen some people think he’s playing 5D chess? In what world would he ever choose to bring harm upon humanity for some sort of... agenda; which I’ve already cleared up earlier, he’s open about his plans.

Let’s look at more known lore about Osiris’s feelings of the City & humanity.

"You've wrapped your mind around an idea of your own making. I have always tolerated this fawning 'movement' of yours, but this is a step too far." Osiris seethed. Brother Vance was awestruck. He stared blankly at Osiris, unsure of what he could say to quell his anger and dissolve his frustration. "What I have discovered…" "…is dangerous enough to destroy every man, woman, and child in existence. You're meddling with forces outside your grasp," Osiris reprimanded. "I warn you here and now, remove yourself from this Lighthouse. Find a simple life. Start a family. Write music. Leave Mercury and this fool's errand behind."

Chapter 8: Idolatry.

Osiris was furious to find out Vance was experimenting in his name by endangering people for his goals. And he was especially mad that he would dive into such dangerous areas so much so that it had the potential to destroy humanity.

"It's truth." Osiris considers this. "Truth seems subjective these days," Osiris says, finally observing his entourage for the first time. Among them, a small group of men and women, stand two wayward Guardians—Warlocks, it appears—and a child. Their forlorn faces resonate with him. Castaways and believers. The weeks since his departure from the Last City have worn on him. He was used to working alone, knowing he could fall back to the City's resources should he need them. Now, adrift in the expanse of purpose, he finds himself longing for a place he could return to. A sanctuary.

Chapter 2: Postexilic.

Here’s a few lines from Season of Dawn:

“The Traveler, mutilated. Mercury, a desolate warzone. This is the bleak future the Cabal wants for us all. We do not know what has become of humanity here. I hope we will not find out.”

.

“There are many terrible futures, but I have not grown numb to seeing them. The future the Cabal wish for is a nightmare for humanity.”

.

“If the Traveler fled the system, there is a chance that the Darkness would ignore our region of the galaxy entirely. It would sacrifice our second awakening, our ability to wield the Light, but potentially continue our Golden Age. There are too many variables at risk, but it's a variant path worth investigating in the Infinite Forest.”

.

“This battered Mercury is a blueprint for our system. Lightless, bowed, and nothing more than fuel for an endless war. It must never come to pass.”

The Sundial.

There are many. Many. More lines I could put here about how much Osiris doesn’t want to see humanity suffering. And especially how he doesn’t want the City to be at risk. But I think you get the picture.

Know that the Vex are true Evil.

So. We all know Osiris as “the Vex guy.” His whole thing is on fighting the Vex. However it seems people think that he’d be okay with using them for grounds of a higher purpose? Or something? I don’t know, everyone I see rebuffing Osiris’s actions with Lakshmi don’t seem to be interested in explaining this one.

So anyways. Let’s talk about how Osiris views the Vex as true evil compared to other species.

“The Fallen are not so different from us. How hard would you fight if the Light were taken from you?” “Those stories ring false to me,” said Saint. “They are not a noble people. I’ve fought them, and so have you.” “I have not fought them all,” the Warlock replied, pulling his hands apart to create an intricate web of hovering cubes and points of light. “They are nothing, no threat—not like the Vex. Not like the Darkness.”

Vanguard Commander.

[u.2:06] Have you spoken to the House of Light, like I asked? [u.1:07] I would rather not speak with Fallen. [u.2:07] They may need our help. Their cause is just. [u.1:08] What happened to “trust no one?” [u.2:08] What happened to your sense of right and wrong, hero?

Maintenance Operations Log 30037.

The unenlightened wonder at my so-called "fixation" upon the Vex. They believe our gravest existential threat is the Hive, for those beings have made a pact with the Darkness itself via the medium of the Worm Gods (according to Toland, at least, and I see no reason to doubt him in this). But Darkness is not merely absence of Light. Darkness is an entity unto itself. Put simply, Darkness is not Nothing. But the Vex? The Vex seek neither Light nor Darkness. They seek Convergence, the reduction of all life to its simplest, most meaningless form. An entelechy of zeros and ones. "Evil" is a word for sentimentalists and fools. But, in the ontology of the sentimental, the Vex are more deserving of the term than the Hive. Given a choice between Darkness and Convergence, I would choose Darkness. It is a logical choice. Yet for this they banish me.

Kairos Function (Hunter).

This one is important because Osiris doesn’t subscribe to the idea of “good” and “evil”, and that he would go so far to say that the Vex are Evil shows just how much of a threat he views them as.

It’s just. Mind boggling to me that people think that Osiris would be okay with a Vex invasion. That Osiris would encourage Lakshmi to open up a rift to “send the Fallen away” (Despite being one of the earliest sympathizers!) Osiris isn’t ineffable, he’s just a man trying to do his best to help humanity. His actions aren’t difficult to understand, they have been written to be very clear and with understanding his motives.

Saying that it’s natural for him to be secretive and have contradicting opinions and actions is just. Wrong. It’s not him. It’s not how he’s supposed to be understood. Even in Curse of Osiris I don’t think his actions didn’t make any sense.

This is going to sound very mean but I want to be 100% clear: If you think that Osiris would actively choose to put the City in danger of the Vex, if you think that he would actively choose to stand calmly and watch as his lover was about to die to the very things he spent millions of lives to save... You don’t understand Osiris. Go back and reread his lore.

I leave you with this:

The Vanguard is dubious of our intent and ability, fearing corruption and displacement. They do not trust me. You were held in similar contempt for speaking your truth and empowering free thought. You know what it feels like to be chastised and labeled a traitor. We are mere steps away from a disintegration of our institutions, and they cannot see destruction staring them in the face. ... For so long, we have clung to the Light, denying the strength offered by the Dark. By using Stasis, we will end this war. We see this contest for what it truly is: a game, played by our adversaries. And we have been the pawns. We are pawns no more. This is not a battle I want to wage without you, although we may not have a choice in the matter. Wherever you may be, please come back to us.

To Osiris.

[songbirdsingingthings]

Polka-dotted Bandages

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Kohei Horikoshi

MHA Masterlist - Main Masterlist

WARNINGS: Mentions of injury, the tiniest bit of angst, and fluff galore <3

Requested by @luluwiie​ :

"There is no limit in the number of requests", you said? Welllll... then can I request ? 😳❤ if the answer is yes: can I request a slow burn / pining Todoroki x Reader Oneshot ? 😶👉👈 Like, when they train together, Reader got into the habit of always taking care of his scratches and wounds, which at first confused Todoroki, cause Recovery girl is there for this, right ? But with time he got used and even grew attached to this little habit of ours. And one day, for some reason, Reader ends up badly injured (in a fight, against vilains? Idk), and he rushes to the hospital and is like sooo worried.. and when Reader wakes up they find like some band-aids on their little scratches, just like the ones they often use for him ? And we get to see their reunion Ajajdusdj TYSM if you do it 😳❤

A/N: I LITERALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS REQUEST.... which is why I had to rewrite it like twenty times before I was finally satisfied with how it turned out lol. I really hope you enjoy and thank you so much for the request! <3

Word Count: 2.2K

Ever since the age of five when his quirk made itself known to him, the world, and most unfortunately his father, little nicks and cuts were always a common thing to find all over his body. To this day, however careful Shouto was in training, they were ordinary occurrences. It wasn’t like he was careless, far from it in fact, he just got a little… distracted sometimes. How could he not when you were training right across from him? Your skill and poise were originally the traits that drew him in to hoping for a friendship with you. Those paired with your optimistic personality and effortless smile captured his attention completely. So, when he accidentally grazed his leg against a piece of metal that was jutting out haphazardly, he was unprepared for your attention to be on him.

“Shouto, are you okay? That looks like it really hurts,” you huff, out of breath from the last set of crunches you had just completed. The red-and-white haired boy looked in between you and his now bleeding cut with a somewhat blank stare.

“Oh… yes I think I’m fine,” He answered awkwardly, assessing the wound and slowly moving his hand to cover it. That is, until your hand caught his wrist.

“Wait, your hands aren’t clean!” You exclaim as you dig through your bag with the hand that wasn’t currently occupied. “Here, I have some disinfectant in my bag.” Shouto watches as you pull the little bottle of antiseptic out of your bag as well as some cotton balls and a little box of bandages. You douse one of the cotton balls with some disinfectant, accidentally spilling a little on your hands in the process, and hold it right in front of his cut. “Do you mind?” You ask, making sure Shouto was okay with your movements.

“No, go ahead,” He manages, keeping his composure but feeling his heart skip a bit. You flash him a grin before placing one of your hands on his leg to steady yourself.

“This might sting a bit, but it goes away pretty quickly,” you explain, slowly pressing the cotton ball to his wound. You made sure to clean the dirt and grime away quickly, your gentle and dexterous fingers going around the edges of the cut.

“Y/N?” Shouto’s voice was somewhat jarring in the comfortable silence you two had, causing your gaze to snap up to his.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” You asked hurriedly, your eyes filled with concern. He shook his head, allowing you a breath of relief before turning your attention back on his wound.

“I’m just curious as to why you are doing this, since we have Recovery Girl on call all day. I’m sure it would be no issue for her,” He asked as you disposed of the now slightly bloody cotton ball and digged around in the box to pull out a blue and white polka-dotted bandage.

“Well I didn’t want you to accidentally infect it,” you begin, smoothing the bandage across the cut, “plus, it's nice to do things like this for a friend, don’t you think?” You smile, satisfied that the coverage of the polka dots fit perfectly over the damaged skin. Your eyes finally go back up to Shouto, whose hand was held out to you. You take it as he helps you stand from your crouched position on the floor. Shouto smiled at the little notion and fell into a comfortable pace with you as the both of you walked back towards the direction of the dorms. Over time, Shouto began to like the little habit the two of you developed - he liked it quite a lot. Not ever had he been touched in such a caring and tender manner, and when it was coming from you… it was pure solace that he felt. And, gradually, as the two of you fell into a comfortable friendship - with more than a few lingering glances on his part - he felt that finally he was at a time in his life where he found someone that could understand him completely. 

Buildings were leveled, the streets had craters in them, and your breathing was uneven. Of course, when Class 1A was on a day trip into the city, villains had decided to take action. The day was going too perfectly, you guessed. It really only was once in a while that the teachers would let you have a long day off to go shopping or enjoy the city life. Due to this incident, though, you’re pretty sure that they’ll be revoking those privileges as soon as the class steps their feet back on UA property. If you were lucky, maybe you wouldn’t be confined in the big dorm building for a week due to safety concerns.

“H/N, you take the guy on the left, I’ll take the annoying one in the middle!” You heard your classmate, Mina, shout to you. The pink-haired girl was currently fighting off a criminal with a nasty quirk - blood manipulation, as long as they were in some physical pain themself. That was probably why the guy was intentionally biting down on his tongue.

“You’ve got it!” You yell back, launching yourself into the fray and readying your quirk to attack. With the villain set straight on in front of you, you let your eyes zero in on them, everything besides them becoming a blur. That was why, when the enemy that was fighting Mina set their sights on you, you were unable to react quick enough.

Shouto was, more or less, beginning to panic. Everyone was accounted for… everyone except for you. That’s when he caught sight of a familiar pink-haired girl crouching down with tears leaking from her eyes.

“Ashido, have you seen Y/N?” He asked exasperatedly, beginning to grow frustrated with the lack of information involving the Y/H/C haired girl. This only caused Mina to sob more, her pitiful gaze finally looking up into Shouto’s.

“Th-they hit me with their quirk and it made the wind get knocked out of me,” she hiccuped, wiping underneath her eyes to try and rid the moisture from her cheeks. “They hurt Y/N really, really badly.” As soon as those words left her lips, Shouto felt his entire body grow cold. It wasn’t like the cold he used to regulate his body temperature when he used too much of his left side. This was a chill that encompassed his body as a whole, making him feel hollow. As Mina’s words grew more jumbled, Shouto felt his breathing go shallow and his hands beginning to tremble.

“Where,” He asked forcefully.

“Musutafu General Hospital.” 

And with those three words, Shouto began running, and didn’t stop until he was at the massive glass doors of the lobby. He walked swiftly to the help desk and slammed his hands on the top of it, a little harder than he intended.

“Y/N L/N, she’s a member of Class 1A at UA, and she was taken to this hospital due to events that occurred downtown. Where is she.” The receptionist looked up to find an angered Shoto, his eyes blazing and narrowed.

“I-I’m sorry?” They asked, a little terrified of him.

“Y/N L/N, she is a patient here. WHERE IS SHE?” He demanded. The receptionist jumped in their seat and began to vigorously click on their computer, searching through patient charts.

“She’s, uh, on floor four, just got out of emergency surgery and is recovering. Room 107.” He didn’t stay to hear anything else they had to say as he sprinted to the staircase, ascending the stairs in record speed. When he arrived on the correct floor, a sudden feeling of misery descended upon him. Sitting in a little seating area, he saw as surgeons - still clad in their scrubs - were hugging a family of four, all of them sobbing in despair. This stirred him to now stumble down the hallways wildly, frantically checking the room numbers on both sides until he found the three numbers he was looking for. 107. Slowly, he pushed the door open to find you laying down on a hospital bed. 

When your eyes finally fluttered open, the first thing you felt was the whole body ache that held onto your body like a vice. I’m never complaining about stomach or calf cramps again, you think, squinting to try and see anything in the harsh hospital room lighting. You groaned as you sat up, feeling the pang of pain in the small of your back. You smiled, though, when you saw all the things dotted all over your room. Vases of flowers were placed on the tables, from your vantage point you could spot the familiar petals of peonies - the flowers that symbolize life and good health. On the table next to you, lots of cards were propped up. Some had cheesy “get well soon!” messages scrawled across the front, others a bit more demure. And, as you reached to grab and read one, that’s when you saw them. The familiar pattern of blue and white polka dots left you breathless as you stopped your previous movements and began to inspect them further. These were exactly like the ones that were always in your bag, the ones that are so specifically designed that only one store sells them. You were sure that the hospital you were staying in didn’t make an effort to buy pretty looking bandages for their patients and nobody else knew where to find them in your bag. Nobody else except...

“Shouto…” you breathed, your eyes welling with tears.

“Y/N?” Standing in the door frame stood the exact boy whose name was just uttered from your lips. Dressed in a soft, black turtleneck - the one you always found so flattering on him - and a pair of beige pants. In his hand held the most beautiful red carnations you had ever seen, the petals so dainty and the stems so thin you feared they would break if he even moved them. 

“Here, put them in this vase next to-” your speech was interrupted as Shouto let the bouquet fall to the tiled floor, his body moving on autopilot to encase you in his arms, his head wedging itself between your neck and head.

“You’re okay.” He mumbles.

“I’m okay.”

“You’re safe.”

“I’m safe.” Shouto lingers there for a moment before pulling himself back into a standing position, helping you reposition your body on the bed, trying to get more comfortable. The two of you stay in silence for a moment before you speak up.

“Thank you for patching me up,” you say simply, your voice soft as you tilt your head towards the polka-dotted bandages. You see Shouto’s lips quirk up a bit.

“You’re always taking care of me, so I wanted to take care of you. Even if the hospital staff had to do the heavy lifting.” He says, sitting down in the chair next to your bed, pulling it closer so that the two of you were as close as possible. Your hand immediately finds his, grabbing hold of it. 

“Shouto, I-”

“Y/N, when I’m around you, I feel the skin on my face grow hot.” His statement caught you off guard. “My stomach turns, too, when you smile at me and look at me in the eye.” You suck in a breath, hoping that what he was trying to say was the same thing you had been feeling for ages. Shouto takes a deep breath before squeezing your hand. “At first I thought I was sick and caught something, due to the increase in temperature, but I realized that I only began to feel this way when you first put a blue polka-dotted bandage on my leg. And then that feeling only came around when you were near.” Finally looking up to meet your eyes, Shouto gazes at you with such care and affection you felt that you could melt. “I think… I think I love you.” Your shocked face soon softens into one of adoration and a grin spreads across your cheeks.

“I love you too.” You see Shouto breathe in relief before taking the hand he was holding and pressing a soft kiss to the back of yours. Your heart flutters at his gesture, encouraging you all the more to pull him towards you so that he could lay on the bed. Quickly, the both of you found comfort as he held you, letting his fingers trace lightly around the polka-dotted bandages. “Will you let me keep on taking care of you? Whenever you get scrapes or bruises… or if something makes you happy or sad or feel anything at all?” You murmured, letting your head fall against his chest. You feel him nodding his head.

“Only if I can take care of you, too.” You smiled, glancing back at the blue and white polka dots to see Shouto’s thumb brushing against it.

“Okay, deal.”

[outivv]

(please ignore the nickname i made this account originally for a specific blog and rich fucker was my anon name) I am a sucker for jean and your toxic traits hc so could i request a jean x reader fic where reader just kind breaks and ends up breaking up with jean or something (idk i just really want something for toxic hc jean :’)) you dont have to do it btw if you feel uncomfortable with it

Synopsis: the reader snaps and breaks up with toxic hc Jean

Warnings: toxic hc character, mentions of anxiety/ intrusive thoughts/ jealousy, and a break up

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Character: Jean

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

Note: I kinda made y/n go from 1 to 100 really fast in this one so... just a heads up ig.

A/n: lol don’t worry I don’t judge with nicknames, I’d by a bit of a hypocrite if I did. But anyway this was kinda hard for me because I haven’t done much for jean, and I haven’t done a breakup fic. It was difficult, but different and exciting. So even though it’s a bit out of my comfort zone, I hope you enjoy and have a lovely day/afternoon/evening!

You stood outside of jeans office, not daring to go inside. It was one am. She started work at eight am. She has been gone all day, and shes been doing this for weeks now. You’ve begged her to take a break, but she’s refused multiple times. Jean is going to make herself sick again if she keeps doing this.

You can’t watch the one you love most deteriorate, and throw away any mental stability they had. And all of it for a city, a city full of people who can’t do anything without jean. They practically have her hold their hand for everything. Making her do all of the dirty work, as they sit back and relax not realizing the pressure they’re putting on the acting grand master.

‘One more time’ you think. One more time to tell her to stop, to take a break. You knock on her office door, to be met with a sigh, and ‘come in.’ She sounds tired, you think as you open the door. You see jean working on something and scribbling on a price of paper, at her desk.

She looks up to meet your concerned eyes, with her tired ones. “Hey love...” you said quietly. You didn’t want to make her upset or push her. Jean tilted her head, resting it on her hand saying, “hm? Why are you here? It’s late isn’t it?” You moved to touch her shoulder and rub it gently with your thumb in any attempt to help what you were about to say. For you knew that she wouldn’t listen.

“Jean, love, I think you should come home now.” You said concern clear in your voice. She clearly looked agitated, and now frustrated? Defeated? You couldn’t tell. “I need to finish this y/n. If you don’t understand that then you can leave.” She said shortly and tiredly. You knew this was coming so you said, “but jean... the people of mondstadt can wait, your mental health can’t. I can’t watch you throw anyway any stability you’ve ever had all for mondstadt.” The quiet in your voice now gone, and you felt a sudden frustration.

“The people of mondstadt come first. I thought you of all people would understand that. But I guess I was wrong.” Jean said going back to scribbling on her piece of paper, like she was prior to this. “Do the people of mondstadt come before me.” You asked shortly. You got no reply. You waited for a couple of seconds before you grew impatient. “Answer me. Do the people of mondstadt come before me.” There was clear aggression in your voice and you felt as though you were going to snap any second depending on her answer.

“Right now yes. Yes they do.” Jean said not looking up from her piece of paper. Her words flipped a switch. A switch of anxiety and intrusive thought that were hidden by your anger. ‘She never loved you’ ‘she stays out of pity’ ‘you aren’t important to her’ were only a few thoughts that swirled your brain, taking strikes at your love for the woman in front of you.

“Ok... ok! Well fine!” You shouted feeling some adrenaline running through your veins from the sheer amount of anxiety you’re experiencing “well! I’m done. I’m leaving. I’m done with you.” You said with a smile, for you were so mad it was insane. Never did you think that you’d be jealous over an entire city. Jealousy makes people ugly, and jealousy is what fueled you right now.

Jean looks at you shock and pain in her eyes as she says, “what... what do you mean?” You made your way for the door, opening it you said without turning around, “I’m breaking up with you jean.” The door slammed behind you, and any anger jean had left with you. She only felt regret, fear, and sadness due to your absence. The realization hit her like a truck. She realized what she did. And there was no getting you back.

[15-dogs]

lovely night |r.b.|

pairing: regulus black x reader

summary: when regulus finds hidden letters from sirius after he’s run away with his girlfriend, you admit to something you never thought you would (hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, forbidden love, no war au)

warnings: blood status stuff, underaged drinking (regulus and reader are 18), idk if this needs to be tagged but reader is a muggle born butler/worker for a pure blood family

guide: (Y/N) = your name, (Y/L/N) = your last name

word count: 2.2K

a/n: askjdhs this is my first regulus fic i hope it’s ok we’ll see we’ll see. also!! yes i did draw inspo from lovely night from la la land so the girlfriend sirius ran away with years back is the reader from planetarium so check that out if you want context to the letters!! feedback is greatly appreciated and i hope you like it!!

***

You only did what you had to to get by. Your muggle parents had thrown you out years ago so you had to find a job to support yourself. In the defense of good character and charity, the Greengrass family took you in as their worker. You stayed with them in the private quarters you shared with the house elves and kept your head down when they threw backhanded insults about your blood status at you. Whatever you could do to get by, you did.

As a reward for being so well-behaved at their home, the family would take you out to private events, fit only for the pureblooded families. Many families would bring their attendants with them, just to prove they were not of ill faith quite yet. You didn’t quite care about those intentions, not when you were too distracted by the glamour of the day.

You did have a very rich fantasy life. As Amalina Greengrass’s seamstress, you got to play with her dresses. And what dresses those were. Long, flowing gowns with pale colors which could make anyone look like royalty.

You used to dream about attending those parties in those dresses, catching the eye of a certain young suitor who was quite skilled at the violin. You imagined walking right past him, like he wouldn’t even recognize you in your fancy clothes, but he would do a double take before running after you, spouting compliments and praise and wondering why in Merlin’s name he hadn’t noticed you that way before.

But Regulus wasn’t like that.

Regulus was your friend, dress or rags. Every party you two were forced to attend, you always ended up sneaking off to chat. Regulus would secure a secluded balcony far off in the mansion from the ballroom while you stole a bottle of firewhiskey from the kitchens. That night was no exception.

Regulus sat on the ground, his legs slotted through the railing and dangling over the garden 30 feet down. He looked so pretty in the moonlight, his sharp features finally softening. It was moments like those you knew Regulus wasn’t as scary as he or his family let on.

Against your instinct to stare in silence, you knocked on the open glass door and pushed past the billowing curtains to reveal yourself. Regulus didn’t turn around. You joined him on the balcony, sliding into the spot next to him as you rested your cheek against the cool metal of the railing.

“Fancy seeing you here,” you teased. Regulus didn’t smile.

Now, with you so close, you could see all the details in his face more clearly. The pain you had mistaken for calm flooded his face and soon washed over you. Your stomach turned with an ache for his wellness.

You knew he wasn’t one to talk about his feelings, not when he was stone cold sober, so you untwisted the cap and sloshed the liquid around before passing it to the boy next to you, deciding he should get the first drink. Regulus winced at how much he slugged back but didn’t falter, continuing to drink until amber liquid spilled down his chin.

“Easy there,” you whispered, cautiously easing the bottle away from his lips. Regulus grunted in discontent before allowing you to pry the bottle away from him, your hands slipping over his like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Silence with Regulus wasn’t unusual, but silence when he had something to say was unsettling. He had only completely lost it once, when Sirius moved out and ran off with some girl he met at one of the balls his parents hosted. He did it all with telling his younger brother. And although Regulus spat Sirius’s name with venom he had inherited from his environment, he loved him, and his running away cut so incredibly deep Regulus didn’t know how to control himself.

So really, you could only prepare yourself for the worst.

“It’s a lovely night out,” you began, nudging Regulus with your shoulder. He shrugged. “What a shame it’s just for us.”

Glancing out of the corner of your eye, Regulus frowned. That disquieting look reappeared on his face, although a tad bit more melodramatic than before. Regulus snatched the bottle from you and took a quick swig, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand with reckless abandon, your nerves thrumming.

Regulus finally— finally— turned to look at you, his cheeks reddened in a healthy flush from the alcohol. His shoulder brushed against yours and you looked up, your face nearly colliding with his. Unconsciously, you sucked in a sharp breath and consequently inhaled the scent of the burning liquid off of Regulus’s breath.

“Do you think I’m a good person?”

“Yes,” you answered with no hesitation. He blinked in shock. “Yes, Reg, I think you’re wonderful.”

He sat in silence, studying your face for a tell while you allowed yourself to get lost in his eyes. The moonlight passed over them, giving the deep chocolate brown a plethora of shades and his long lashes cast a nearly invisible shadow which you wouldn’t dare miss.

After what felt like an eternity, Regulus turned his body to unbutton his vest, promptly pulling out a small stack of letters. He dropped them on your thigh with a look of horror before pulling his gaze away.

Before you could ask what they were, Regulus answered you. “They’re letters from Sirius.”

Your eyes bulged. Raising the letter up to your face, you glanced at the contents before shuffling to the next one. “These are all from when he left. Where did you get these?”

“Mum’s dresser. She asked me to get her perfume and I found them in there, hidden.” 

Regulus made a limp movement to get the letters back, accidentally slapping them down on the floor between you two. He huffed with frustration as he went to gather them, only picking up a few letters at a time. Regulus ran a hand through his perfectly done hair, freeing it from some of the gel which held it in place.

“She ran away with him, you know,” he began. Regulus looked up, scanning your face for something you couldn’t quite describe. It was deep and introspective, like a man looking at his reflection. “They were so in love they ran away together. I wish I was loved like that.”

You weren’t entirely sure what you and Regulus were. Friends, or something more, you hoped. So that’s why you simply said, “You are.”

His eyes snapped up to meet yours, staring into them for an explanation. He attempted to peel away as he chuckled softly to himself, making you purse your lips in defiance. “No, no,” he started, waving you off, “I mean, I wish I was loved the way Sirius and his girlfriend love each other.”

“You are.”

The silence hung heavy in the night fog. Although you managed to look calm, your heart felt like it could have beat out of your chest. But you knew, somewhere deep in your heart, you didn’t regret your confession for a second. It needed to be said, so it was. And if he didn’t feel the same you wouldn’t have to go on pretending you and Regulus weren’t friends anymore, it would just become normal.

“(Y/L/N)!” a shrill voice shrieked from the horn in the room behind you. “You are required in the parlor!”

You nodded like the caller could see you, gathering yourself and leaving Regulus alone once more. You didn’t dare look back, too fearful he’d see just how vulnerable you were. Yet, the silence wasn’t much better.

***

Typically, you hated checking the portkeys at the end of the night, making sure there were no more left in case a muggle accidentally took one. However, that night you couldn’t have been happier to offer. You needed the fresh air. You needed to be away from that place. You needed to be away from Regulus. So when you descended into the deep blue night, the last thing you wanted to hear was Regulus calling your name from behind you.

“What are you doing?” he called through heavy breaths as he caught up to you.

“Checking portkeys,” you answered curtly. You took a sharp turn down one street, cutting him off and hoping he’d get the message. But of course he didn’t. Regulus continued to follow you, hands clasped behind his back as he watched you intently. “Stop following me.”

“I would if you were going the right way.”

Your steps faltered. Didn’t you go down this street earlier? No, you were definitely in the wrong place. Huffing, you turned around and tried to maneuver around Regulus but he blocked your way.

“What are you doing?” With a cross of your arms, you looked the boy over for the first time in hours.

“Trying to get you to slow down.” Regulus planted his hands firmly on your shoulders and guided you towards a bench beside you, overlooking the skyline of the city. “Look, (Y/N), just look for one second. Look at how lovely this night is.”

It was unfair how beautiful the lighting made him look. You had to catch yourself before you got too caught up in a lost cause so you directed your attention down towards your aching feet, peeling off the cramped shoes you were forced to wear. 

Finally, you decided to look up. Regulus was right: it was a lovely night. But lovely nights were made for loving people, and he had made it clear he wasn’t one of those people. Your mood instantly soured. The more you thought about the situation, the stupider you felt. You were asking Regulus Black, the “Pureblood Prince”, to love you back, a measly muggleborn butler.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t say it back.”

Regulus’s timid voice broke the silence and sent a sharp pain in your chest. You shook your head. “So, what? You thought taking me to look at the city would soften to blow?”

He perked up at that. “What?”

You scoffed, standing up, shoes in hand and venom in your veins. “I shouldn’t have expected you to say it back. I misread this, and I’ll take the blame for that to spare you. So can we please just drop it?”

Before he could even process what you had said, you were already walking away from him. Regulus scrambled to your side with a flurry of rushed pleas to make you sit and listen to him for just one second.

“You know what’s funny?” you started, a chuckle toying at your lips. Behind you, Regulus had silenced himself. “That I thought this would work out. I mean, come on, we have to take a look at ourselves for a second, Reg. We know who we are. We know our places. And my place is not with you.”

“Merlin, why not?!” Regulus shouted. Anger reverberated through the hollow street and you were near positive you could almost feel it. The corners of his eyes pricked with tears from frustration. You weren’t over him, you knew that, it was too soon, and seeing him in such a distraught state made you sick.

“What?”

Regulus ran his hands over his face with a shaky sigh. “I-I’m sorry, I don’t mean to shout, and especially not at you. You don’t deserve to be shouted at. I just can’t hear about ‘our places’ again.”

Taking cautious steps towards him, you asked, “Again?”

Regulus sunk into a squat and rested against the pavement, evoking a quiet gasp at the cleaning his elves would have to do to his dress pants. “Amalina thought you might fancy me and told my mother. For two bloody weeks she gave me lecture after lecture about how it would be sickening if I even thought about being with someone of your…”

“Oh.” You sunk to his level, relaxing against the emptied street next to him.

“But I realized how much what she says doesn’t matter.”

Your eyes flickered up to his, wide and full of hope. “Reg, do you know what you’re saying?”

Regulus laid on his back, you following suit, staring up at the night sky. He subconsciously took your hand in his and began to trace the constellations against you with his thumb, sending sparks flying through you. 

“I do, I promise, I do. When I found those letters from Sirius, everything felt very...obvious to me. I think I might love you.”

Much to your dismay, you inched your hand out of his as you sat up, causing him to turn his head to look in your eyes. “Please don’t say that. I know you miss your brother but pretending you’re him isn’t the way to get him back.”

“I’ll admit, I thought I was doing that, too. Our love is different than theirs— it’s been there all along. And I quite like our love.”

You waited for him to look up at you, searching for the sincerity in his eyes. Regulus smiled sweetly at you, making your stomach flutter and nerves thrum. Laying back down next to him, you once again took his hand.

“What’re we going to do?”

“I don’t know.” The raven haired boy frowned. “But I think I’m prepared for it.”

As you leaned your head on his shoulder you realized lovely nights were made for loving people, and perhaps you were one of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

if you’re crossed out i couldn’t tag you!!

tags: @aspiringsloth02 @dreamy-clousds @nuttytani-reblogs @anyqueen008 @lunalovecroft @pandaxnienke @for-bebbanburg

[ghostvibesonly]

so i’m probably gonna delete this in the morning (aka a couple hours) even though no one will probably see this but god i feel like i’m going insane

i’m not a physically affectionate person, quite the opposite where i consider myself touch-averse and try to avoid physical contact even though i also kinda crave it at the same time. but right now it’s on a whole other level

it feels like i just wanna cry all the time because all i want is for someone to just hold me or cuddle me. my campus is spread throughout the city so every time i’m on the bus going back to the dorms from classes and the bus is crowded and i’ll be sitting shoulder to shoulder with someone my brain is just screaming at me wishing they would just wrap their arms around me

it doesn’t even matter who, it could be a complete stranger but god it feels like i need to be touched to just bring me some sort of relief and stop me from going crazy

i’ve been desperately hugging my pillows every night but it’s not enough. it’s not enough to imagine someone hugging me anymore. i’m losing my mind and i feel like throwing things and screaming and bashing my head against the wall cause i just need someone to cuddle me now

i’m not used to this at all and i hate it so much. i grew up with someone who never respected my boundaries and was constantly holding onto me and never letting go so i just always thought i hated physical contact in general

but with my first relationship i started getting used to physical affection. but it wasn’t... the best or healthiest relationship. so in those times where i wanted to be cuddled or held my ex would just... i don’t know. dangle it so close with promises of it and then just rip it away. it was always the same. it was especially frustrating cause my ex always said they were a big spoon but refused to hold me. i was always the one holding them and i know that doesn’t matter but when i’m having a terrible day and in a bad place mentally and all i need is to be held and told it’s ok and they promise they’ll do that but then always turn away and demand that i be the one to hold them even if i’m in tears. i don’t know. none of this matters. but i don’t know if that somehow increased the desire for someone to just hold me. idk this is so dumb i’m definitely deleting this later

i have no idea what’s happening to me. i’ve always felt lonely surrounded by people but this is just something new entirely. i wish i could go back to having my skin crawl at someone accidentally brushing past me or touching me. that would be so much better than whatever this is

god. i just. really need someone to hold me. i just want someone to wrap their arms around me and hold me close. i’m ace so it’s not even in that way. none of it is. but. i just need it so badly.

i need physical affection so badly now and it hurts.

[wild-aloof-rebel]

today in AUs i’m never gonna actually write: 

planes trains and automobiles au where david and patrick are both on a pre-christmas flight from new york to toronto that because of a blizzard gets redirected to, idk, detroit? indianapolis? chicago? and even though they’re both a little annoyed with each other—david because patrick manages to sweet talk a booking agent into finding him the last spot on a flight in the morning when david couldn’t get her to budge, patrick because david actually stole his taxi on the way to the airport in the first place—they decide to share one of the very few hotel rooms available for a very awkward night. they part ways again in the morning, only to end up on a train together after patrick’s new flight gets cancelled, and they reluctantly get to talking on the trip. 

everything is cordial enough until the train breaks down and dumps them out at a station in the middle of nowhere. there’s a bus then, and eventually a rental car, more nights spent together in hotels as they inch closer to toronto and each other. the frustration of the trip wears on them both though, making them prone to occasional outbursts that hurt the other, but it opens them up too because who else is there to talk to when they’re stuck together on this neverending trip? david discovers that patrick is headed home to his parents’ house where he’s decided he’s going to propose to his girlfriend on christmas eve, though he doesn’t seem particularly excited about it. patrick learns that david’s supposed to be having christmas dinner with his family in a rural town a couple hours north of the city, and he doesn’t seem particularly excited about that either.

they argue over the radio stations they can find and the hotels david is willing to stay in, even though patrick is the one who gets stuck paying for both the car and the rooms because david has somehow lost his wallet. there’s almost certainly some kind of confusion at the border crossing where they nearly get arrested, and there’s definitely some kind of further money shenanigans where patrick ends up having to pawn rachel’s engagement ring to get them enough cash to make it home. the trip takes so long that christmas comes and goes while they’re still trying to get there, and the whole thing should be awful—and it is—but it also kind of... isn’t? because things are starting to click between them, and their conversations get longer and deeper, david talking about art and the most underrated romcoms and the places in manhattan that have always made him feel intensely lonely, patrick about hockey and his hidden talents and the overwhelming fear of disappointing the people he loves. and there’s a loaded moment then in a greasy roadside diner where patrick automatically thumbs a bit of ketchup from the corner of david’s mouth, where he almost does something completely reckless, where david almost says something completely honest. but nothing good can last, so when they get back on the road, they only make it a few more miles before their shitty rental gives up the ghost, and it’s just the last fucking thing that either of them can take, leaving them stranded on the side of the highway, angry and exhausted and broken. 

when they finally manage to roll into toronto, it’s in icy silence in the cab of a kindly trucker. patrick calls his parents to come pick him up, and he dutifully offers to take david the rest of the way, thankful when david declines, insisting that his own family can make the drive to get him, and they finally say their stilted last goodbyes, both ready to be done with all of this. but as patrick’s leaving with marcy and clint, he sees david trying to barter with someone, offering up one of the silver rings he’s wearing in exchange for a ride, and realizes that there is no family coming to get him after all. patrick makes his parents stop, and he finally gets the truth out of david—he’s running away after discovering that his parents had been paying off the patrons at his art gallery, as well as most of his friends and dates, too, subsidizing the little bits of happiness he’d thought he’d managed to claim for himself, and in his embarrassment he’d decided to cut them out, to leave and start over in a town he apparently somehow owns, the only place he could think to run to, the only option he felt like he had left. he apologizes, sorry that he’d lied, sorry that he could have just given in and called his parents all along and gotten more than enough money to get him and patrick to toronto with far less trouble, but patrick cuts him off with a kiss, tells him that he doesn’t need to be sorry for being brave, for having been hurt by people he trusted, for wanting to find a path for himself. and he definitely doesn’t need to be sorry for the last few days because even though they’ve been a disaster, they’ve been some of the best of patrick’s entire life, and when david finally smiles, patrick kisses him again and asks him to come home with him for a belated christmas dinner because maybe schitt’s creek isn’t the only option he has after all