#idk when I’ll FULLY be able to commit to this

[myokk]

fast sketch of ominis & fast intro to the ominis longfic I'm working on!! This is going to be the most self-indulgent pride and prejudice ripoff that ever existed, 100% based on the ominis of my oneshot💘

I am just OBSESSED with exploring the idea that he’s a natural legilimens & OBSESSED with the thought that he thinks too much for his own good🫶🫶🫶

Ominis Gaunt has always suspected he is cold-blooded.

It makes sense, really.

He always seems to be cold: frigid, long fingers that are often stiff and difficult to move; goosebumps raising the skin of his arms and the back of his neck any time he walks through the drafty halls of the dungeons; even his eyes, he has been told, are reminiscent of ice. They are apparently quite unsettling. The only time he feels comfortable in his body is when he basks in the heat of the sun.

His earliest memory is of the cold. It went like this: he was four years old: his older brother, Marvolo, had led him outside as a��joke, he swore up and down that it was just a small joke, and how was he supposed to know that poor, blind Ominis would not be able to find his way back home? When his parents had finally found him, his frail mother sobbing and holding his tiny, blue, hypothermic body to her chest, Ominis remembers feeling quite perturbed at the disturbance. Couldn’t he just be left alone, in the silent soft snow?

He does not know if he has ever felt warm since.

As he strides through the dungeons, the copious amount of warming charms he casts on himself do not seem to be enough, but he keeps casting them anyways and also: wrapping his wool scarf more tightly around his neck, quickening his pace in the hopes that blood flows more easily through his limbs, wishing that he had remembered his gloves. Winter is always a terrible time of year (this winter more terrible than usual), and every breath of warm air leaves his lips reluctantly. How he wishes that he could just hold on to it a bit longer and yet the warmth leaves him precisely fifteen traitorous times a minute, the frigid air gleefully entering and burning its way down his throat in response. Maybe it’s a punishment of some sort.

His whole life has been defined by punishments and sometimes he preoccupies himself with the thought that it is the only way he can view the world. Most of the punishments are manifested in curses inherited from his family. (His parents and Marvolo insist that they are gifts, but Ominis begs to differ.)

First, his blindness: the only true punishment-curse that even his family rejects: caused by inbreeding, no doubt. He did not cry after his birth and his mother cradled his tiny body in silent arms, lovingly whispering nonsense-evil-Parseltongue to him but when he opened his eyes and she saw a brilliant celestine blue with no iris, she screamed in horror and shattered the frigid peace of the room. His parents tried everything to fix him, make him whole, throwing money at various possible solutions to no avail. Magically induced disabilities are not, apparently, curable by magic.

Ominis is not sure that he hates being blind, although he suspects everyone thinks that he should. It is as much a part of him as his fifteen-breaths-per-minute, and he thinks that vision is not all it’s cracked up to be. He is always terrified at the thought that his tenuous hold on sanity is only due to the fact that he cannot see, until he realizes he shouldn’t be terrified of hypothetical situations that cannot come to pass. He consoles himself with the thought that maybe, if he has had to give up his vision for his sanity, it is a small price to pay. Although, he also thinks sometimes that it would be nice to live a life without any morality holding him back.

He is entirely too introspective, after all.

It is precisely this introspection that is his downfall in this moment (and his cold blood). Ominis is so busy casting warming charms on himself and thinking in circles that he cannot use his wand to help him sense his environment and so he should not be surprised when he crashes into her.

And yet he is. Terribly surprised.

Maybe if he were not so caught up in his own thoughts he could have paid more attention to his surroundings. Instead, he spent too much time ruminating on his reptilian heritage and has now barreled head first into his arch-nemesis.

Rosalie Harris.

The girl who has stolen his oldest friend from him.

The girl who is currently making angry noises as she clambers to her feet and is picking up the things that he has crashed everywhere. Even if he could see, Ominis is not sure he would help her. Helping her would be akin to betraying himself, after all.

“Hey! Watch where you’re - oh, hello, Ominis.”

“Rosalie,” he says shortly, nodding his head where he thinks she might be standing and stepping to the side. He tightens his grip around his wand, feeling the texture of the wood change from rough to smooth as he runs his thumb down it. Smooth where he always seems to worry it, rough where the wood refuses to yield to the brushes of his thumb.

He surreptitiously casts the spell - he has at least done it so many times he no longer needs to say it out loud - and his surroundings light up. Or, he supposes that is the most apt description, considering he cannot actually differentiate between light and dark. He senses Rosalie’s silhouette to his left - she is standing with her arms crossed and her foot taps impatiently as she waits for him.

Waiting for what? he thinks, slightly irritated. She never seems to leave him alone and he wracks his brain trying to think of something, anything he can say to get rid of her.

Maybe if he speaks in Parseltongue, she would finally be scared away for good. He does not really want that second reminder of his family’s curse, though.

His family preferred speaking in Parseltongue with each other, believing the ability made them morally superior to everyone else and Ominis had not even realized until he had arrived at Hogwarts that no, it was not normal. When his name had been called at the Sorting, furious whispers had erupted amongst all the students, and his every step (terrified, confused, unsure - he had still been getting used to using his wand to navigate his surroundings) to the stool at the front of the Great Hall was plagued with a susurration reminiscent of snakes. Except these whispers, sneaking their way into his mind, had been unkind and overwhelming.

(He had not realized in that moment that he was also hearing their thoughts.)

Maybe now, with Rosalie standing in front of him and just annoyingly waiting for Merlin-knows-what, Ominis should use his Legilimency to find out what Rosalie wants. (He hates it, though.) It would not be difficult. (The thought makes him shiver in horror because he doesn’t want to abuse the ability.) He can feel the edges of her mind, her magic, and all he has to do is reach out - she is right there, and -

“Ominis?”

Her arms are crossed, he hears an impatient huff.

Why hasn’t she left him alone yet?

Hadn’t the Hogwarts Express already left the station, bringing all of the students home for the winter holiday? Ominis had thought he would be one of the only students left in the castle, and if he is being honest with himself, he had been looking quite forward to having the place to himself.

Ominis’s winter has just gotten infinitely worse.

Going to Gaunt Manor for the holidays is out of the question (he will not think about the nightmares that have been plaguing him ever since he received the owl demanding he go home), and Ominis does not want to be more of a burden to the Sallows. They already do enough for him over the summer, and Sebastian and Anne have convinced him to go to Hogsmeade with them at least twice over the next two weeks. Besides, with Anne’s curse progressing, Ominis does not want to be in the way.

“Why are you still here?” Ominis asks. He knows his voice comes across as cold as his blood, blunt, but he cannot help himself. Ever since Rosalie arrived - her entrance to Hogwarts also causing quite the stir - Ominis has been intensely annoyed by her presence. She is too happy. Too carefree. Too…well, everything he is not.

And, she does not seem to leave him alone.

Rosalie is always there, always hanging around Sebastian. (Taking Sebastian away.) He even showed her the Undercroft, which had almost caused a rift in their relationship. Ominis could not believe that Sebastian would be so careless, showing someone who for all intents and purposes is crashing her way into their lives, forcing them to pay attention to her. They barely even knew her, and yet Sebastian thought it was a good idea to show her such a sacred place?

(It does not help that she is intelligent, and Ominis has caught himself on more than one occasion about to ask her about her opinion on something before he catches himself.)

“I was looking for you.”

Ominis tilts his head at that and fiddles with his ring. He considers walking away, leaving -

“I mean…Sebastian said that you were also going to be here over the holidays and since everyone else just left I thought -”

“Thought what?” Internally, Ominis winces at the biting tone to his voice. It came out harsher than he intended, his voice loud and echoing through his mind, bouncing off the cold, stone walls surrounding them.

[midnightsslut]

the whole cardigan/Peter parallels are messing my head can u explain

okay so peter is actually one of my favorite songs on the album for this reason! I think it has parallels to a lot of other songs, not just cardigan. the first thing to get out of the way is the cardigan lyric about peter and wendy: ‘tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy.’ now, that line doesn’t make a ton of sense because peter losing wendy is the ending of peter pan (idk I’ve never seen it and never thought I’d spend this long thinking about them), but I think what she’s saying is that he tried to change the ending of *their* story to peter losing wendy. peter loses her because she outgrows him, while he remains a ‘lost boy’ forever. the cardigan demo has an alternate lyric where peter actually *leaves* wendy. this does not happen in the original story, and to me, it reads like betty (eh, I don’t think those characters existed when she wrote that song, but bear with me) is accusing him of trying to change their fate by leaving her. peter is meant to always come back to wendy. *she* is the one who eventually leaves him. either way, cardigan ends with them together. yay for betty and/or taylor.

now, peter was written 3-4 years later, and it is the conclusion of a story about outgrowing someone despite truly wanting them back. the ending was not, in fact, changed. she did outgrow him. very sad. I actually want to go lyric by lyric, but I’ll put a cut just in case.

Forgive me Peter

My lost fearless leader

In closets like cedar

Preserved from when we were just kids

Is it something I did

the song starts with taylor trying to figure out what went wrong. did she do something wrong to crush these dreams of theirs? she kept him in a closet of cedar (where unmarried women kept their belongings that they would want to take with them after getting married) in her mind, but things didn’t work out anyway. the first line being ‘forgive me, peter’ indicates that she is the one who pulled the plug, and she’s apologizing for it. again, she isn’t entirely sure what went wrong, which, to me, is a clear parallel to how did it end.

The goddess of timing

Once found us beguiling

She said she was trying

Peter was she lying

My ribs get the feeling she did

when they first met, the timing seemed to be perfect for their relationship (‘the goddess of timing *once* found us beguiling’), but that didn’t last. the goddess of timing claimed that she tried, but nothing could save them. taylor even wonders if she lied, which suggests a lack of faith in higher powers like fate or deities. this verse introduces timing as a major conflict in the story. ‘are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these?’

Said you were gonna grow up

Then you were gonna come find me

Words from the mouths of babes

Promises, oceans deep

But never to keep

peter went away, but he promised to come down once he was ready for a relationship. yes, this kind of applies to both of the main storylines on the album. you could take this to mean that they actually broke up a decade ago but promised to get back together, or you could assume there was some sort of break to their relationship, which she and joe did have. i kind of took it to mean that he wasn’t fully committed to the relationship, but he promised to be eventually. again, the renegade lyric, but also ‘i’m a fire, and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm if your cascade ocean wave blues come’ and ‘I’d hold you as the water rushes in,’ both of which are grand promises that neither party could keep.

Are you still a mind reader?

A natural scene stealer

I've heard great things Peter

But life was always easier on you

Than it was on me

he is charismatic. his magnetic field is a little too strong. he can read people. but he’s also fragile and inexperienced (‘he was a hothouse flower to my outdoorsman’). he may be able to read people, but things have been way too easy for him to ever understand a truly hurt person fully.

And sometimes it gets me

When crossing your jet stream

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon

In different galaxies

And I didn't want to hang around

We said it was just goodbye for now

this is the thesis statement of their relationship to me. obviously, there’s the call it what you want parallel, but more importantly, it shows that the two people really wanted this to work. they just came from completely different places in their lives and perhaps the entire universe. this verse seems to reference the epilogue (‘resentment rotting away galaxies we created’ / ‘some stars never align’). they learned the right steps to different dances, if you will. she knew he needed time, so she left temporarily.

And I won't confess that I waited

But I let the lamp burn

As the men masqueraded

I hoped you'd return

With your feet on the ground

Tell me all that you'd learned

Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

she does get with other men, but she keeps longing for him. she wishes that he would return with a grasp on reality and be the man she needs. if anything, the time away would give him the perspective he needs to ground himself. interesting parallel to ‘I said I don’t mind / it takes time’ in loml.

And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25

And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired

Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life

Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried

To hold onto the days when you were mine

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

this is just devastating to me. well, first of all, both matty and joe were 25 when they first met her, which, lol. the dreams they had together have expired now. it’s been too long. she cannot keep holding onto a love from almost a decade ago. he took too long to return. he lost his lifelong dreams to what was only supposed to be a chapter of his life. she tried to hold onto the days when he was hers, and everything was right, but she had to turn out the light at some point. this is the moment when she gives up on their relationship. she apologizes for abandoning the ship, but she must do it.

overall, I think peter is a story about two people who genuinely did everything they could to be together, but their needs and their growth no longer aligned. there’s a sense of acceptance and lingering fondness here. she did everything she could not to bolt, but the ending was the same.

[dani-ya-dig]

Ok now that I’m fully awake. It’s time try and organize my thoughts on that audio oh my god.

Also trigger warning for mentions of suicide under the cut

That’s actually the first thing I wanna talk about, and is the only gripe I have with the entire video. Why the fuck wasn’t mentions of suicide tagged in the description??

Like I understand the concept wasn’t dwelled on and Sam didn’t outright say “I’m gonna fucking kill myself” but he PRETTY EXPLICITLY talked about how he planned to commit suicide even if he didn’t say those words. idk “chosen morality” doesn’t seem like the right warning for that? I’m not gonna complain abt it like too much, I just was a little confused on why it wasn’t tagged.

But anyways onto my jumbled up thoughts about the actual audio! Because as a member of the Sam Collins fandom, I have thoughttsssssss!!

THIS AUDIO MADE ME SOB! I couldn’t sleep because of how sad I was over it. Sam and Darlin need to be happy just for fucking ONCE, god give them a BREAKKKKKK.

The idea of them just silently holding each other on their roof with the night sky above them, a few tears probably falling from both of them. IM DUHXSJDIJFDJFHFHJ

AND MOTHERFUCKER THE VIDEO ENDING ON “Brown. My eyes were brown” I FELL TO THE FLOOR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

On a happier note about that, I KNEW Sam’s eyes were brown. I feel like almost everyone did tbh. I’ll tell you what gave it away though, the gentle way he says “please” to Darlin in some of his audios. Automatically gave it away that he would have had the biggest brown puppy dog eyes you have ever seen in your life. I’m physically sick over it, it’s not even funny.

Now back to the thing I desperately don’t wanna think about. Sam telling Darlin that he wasn’t planning on living forever.

That’s where the dam broke for me, I started bawling. It totally makes sense, I get it and I can’t say that it’s not a choice that makes sense given that Sam never wanted to be a vampire in the first place.

Do y’all think that he was planning to watch the sunrise on his roof? Because that was my first thought and it hurt real bad. Sam finally getting to feel the sunlight after so many years of having been deprived of it, only to be ash when the sun was fully in the sky.

Also I know damn well he probably would have done it after Darlin died and that’s what hurts so bad. If Darlin chose to be a vampire I think he would happily spend however long their eternity would be by their side, but once they were gone he probably wouldn’t feel a reason to stay. Especially because if Darlin turned into a vampire the two of them probably would have completely pulled away from all mortals before that would happen.

On that note, I don’t think Darlin is gonna want to be turned. I never really thought they would, unless they were under very specific circumstances. Sam telling them to spend time in their wolf form and with their pack before deciding solidified that for me 100%. I don’t think they would be able to lose their wolf which we know is a pretty big part of shifters, talking from Milo’s audio where he breaks down worried he was never going to be able to shift again. I don’t think they would be okay with the idea of watching their friends, and their family all start to wither away and eventually die while they remain.

Now, do I think Darlin is going to want to be turned? No. Do I think the dynamic of Darlin choosing to remain mortal opens a lot of really good angst possibilities? Yes. Do I fully trust Erik to not turn them anyways? Not really no.

If I had to put a bet in for how it would happen if Darlin got turned, it would be by Quinn. Quinn would find out or catch wind of the fact that they chose not to be turned (if he didn’t already know they would chose that) and turn them anyways just to hurt them.

(I think Alexis turning them is an interesting idea to think about, from any angle but I highly doubt that’s gonna happen lmao)

All in all I genuinely think that was the only audio that has affected me that much (aside from maybe listening to the inversion for the first time??)

[reine-uls]

Good morning! Good morning!

Yesterday I fell asleep right after I read the chapter and I couldn’t write my thoughts down but anyway it was phenomenal like I expected it to be, finally little fox was able to go out and have fun with her friends, I thought some demon slayers are going to recognize her but that didn’t not happen😩 I did not expected Ai’s husband to be eaten by Douma ☹️💔 I thought he was dead before they joined the cult and now that Ai will soon join him makes me really worried about LF’s mental health, will she stop him from eating her friends by idk “trading” with him like “if you don’t kill them I’ll do this with you”? Or will she gave up and fully accept it cause IDK what will happen AFTER they all die because of him! Would she then commit suicide when she has nothing left? She made it clear she is living for them and not for herself.

I love Hinata & Ayumu they’re the best duo with how they are overprotective of LF 🥹 and seeing him grow and be vocal is making me feel like a proud mom, Sakura was really cute and it surprised me that she has pink hair and eyes!

Finally, I did not expect in a million years that Akaza would show up like this! I thought Douma followed them when the sun goes down cause he wanted to make sure LF is safe and he’d save her ! But now that it was Akaza and not him made me feel a bit relieved although I thought he’d be a gentleman☹️ but I’m glad he saved her, I don’t think he would bring it up to Douma and the demon’s attack might be kept secret between LF and Hinata cause if it came out that a demon attacked her he would never allow her to go outside without him and might punish Hinata for it and LF won’t allow him to. Sending you a virtual hug for your efforts to make this chapter happen🤗.

Hinata when he tried to talk sense into LF at the beginning of the chapter:

Dang you are committed into this comment 😏 I’m glad you enjoyed the chapter and point out everything that has happened. yeah it’s a good chapter for LF to spend time with others outside of the cult. Love that for them. Even though they almost died again thank for someone was there to help them. 😮��💨

[cheshirecaine]

Ichigo! For the character Ask Game!

Ichigo! I got excited and started linking my fics like I had to prove my answers. Honestly, it’s just making me realise what things I like that I haven’t written(/finished ;-;;;).

How I feel about this character

Deserves the best—love him. I feel like by default, we or maybe just I, tend to pick a favourite character from the cast minus the main character (‘Who’s your favourite Bat? Batman doesn’t count’). So I’ve always considered it a funny little testament to Ichigo’s likability that a list of my fave Bleach characters will always include this guy.

Hot as shit, smarter than he’s given credit.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Grimmjow OTP. Rukia. Sometimes Shinji. But he’s the fandom bicycle, so I’m very open on this front—e.g. Aizen, several Gin fics, a hastily thrown-together Soifon fic (NSFW, 700w), Byakuya.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Isshin—I don’t care if I’m boring. I love this canon father-son relationship and no moment in Bleach ever breaks me as hard as the Fullbringer Arc scene where Ichigo thinks his dad has betrayed him too.

Honourable mentions: Kurosaki family wildness (1k, I do actually write fic sometimes okay). Ichigo/Renji brotp (or romantically). Ichigo/Kon—underrated brothers (gets a mention in the Kurosaki family fic). Chad. Actually, I love writing fics where Ichigo gets DMC’d by Shinji (exhibit: one of my fave parts of this 3k Ginjo/Ichigo fic is pretending it’s about pies when it’s actually Shinji therapising Ichigo and accidentally himself).

My unpopular opinion about this character

I can’t enjoy grimdark/Fuck you World and especially my Dad and Comrades But Mostly My Dad!Ichigo depictions. Which is fine, that just means I’m not the target audience. However, this is my post, and I’ll soapbox if I want to, so here’s: My Unpopular Opinion about Bleach Fanon.

Vengeful versions of him don’t make sense to me beyond an in-the-moment Hollowfied rage situation. Frankly, his struggle to commit in battle to killing Aizen really hammers in just how much he is not at all in it to hurt people. He beat Grimmjow in a fight and then saved his life while injured. He spent his entire final fight with Aizen sombre about having to kill a man whose heart he fully understood.

And yeah, I don’t really think it’s a failure of canon to not have him idk sit down with everyone he knows and say “You were mean to me”, cos I think fandom has a very selective memory and lens with which they approach a text/story.

Like, I don’t think Ichigo stumbles into relationships eyes shut, I think he is incredibly aware and able to be vulnerable. Kinda like that Doctor Who quote: “Do you think that I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?” Except it’s him letting Ukitake not disclose what the badge does, not interrogating his dad on what he’s doing with Urahara, being determined to help Rukia and Orihime and frankly Renji and more in spite of their opinions on it.

Anyway, I love him.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More skilful fighting that isn’t just a big panel spread and power—sorry Kubo. More of the tactical close-combat fighting or the tricks Zangetsu taught him. Boy’s a genius, lemme see that shit.

Alternatively, would accept Grimmjow meeting DILF!Ichigo and having a conniption.

Thanks for the q, bud <3

[vacantgodling]

Another ask!! 🌚🌚 For the white shirts and the Virgin of Mt. Heredosa?

i was HOPING someone would ask about the white shirts cuz that’s the story i really wanted to just talk about lmao because honestly idk when i’ll ever commit to writing it but i have so many thoughts about it (cuz ive had this wip since an abandoned roleplay in middle school LMAOOOO)

so tw for Heavy spoilers of 2 of my wips and death, ambiguous and or slightly dubious (perhaps) relationships, sex, aaannnnnd manipulation or.. is it? 👀

THE WHITE SHIRTS

so, to fully explain the white shirts—it takes place at the tail end of an apocalyptic mega event (removed by a few decades). prosper and jane morning (twins) were born during this time and live in a small town in what was once middle-america where fires are frequent and the HQ of their “village” is out of a gutted old fire department building from the before times. jane is more of an optimist while prosper is more of a pessimist but they care for each other fiercely; they’re attached at the hip. all of this changes when the titular White Shirts (dubbed this by jane) come to their town in sleek black lincoln town cars (from the old days), white button downs, shades, and slacks. they also have machine guns and uHHHHH unfortunately slaughter everyone in the town. prop and jane manage to escape this random violent act, however, they are pursued because no one was supposed to make it out alive and tbh they don’t even know why they’re being hunted. when they manage to make it to one of the abandoned “old days” cities, they run into someone else who’s alive: a boy named marin. and i want to specify ages now, prop & jane are 16 and marin is 19 — and that “slight” age gap is important tm. anyway prop doesn’t trust marin immediately but jane is softened by the fact that marin is injured AND he knows that they’re running from the white shirts because he is too. it turns out marin came from what was once california and has been running from the white shirts ever since because he Also wasn’t supposed to escape. he calls them something else but quickly adopts the name white shirts like jane. prop doesn’t want him traveling with them but they’re forced to worry about that later when the white shirts descend upon them and they have to flee again, marin’s smarts proving to be very useful (since prop and jane were p sheltered. well, sheltered for an apocalypse anyway). marin tells them that his goal is to head to the east coast to get on a ship that goes to the rest of the world to try and escape the white shirts and with no other plan, prop and jane decide to follow him. during this time, the three become close. ish. jane is definitely the glue that holds them together but prop and marin definitely have TENSION, which ends with them making out at one point while jane is off … idk somewhere. she volunteered to find supplies or something bc it’s possible prop is also injured by this point whatever. it’s fucked tho bc while they’re making out and jane is off, she’s captured by white shirts and long story short she ends up being killed which nearly breaks prop. but marin keeps pushing him and them to make it to the coast bc he’s like listen jane wouldn’t want you to stop she would want us to escape, and prop is all she would’ve wanted me to save her it’s a mess. marin uses the newly established physical nature of their relationship to distract prop and keep him from the deepest throes of grief and they keep pushing to make it to the coast, managing to hop on a still working train line heading there. the train is hijacked by white shirts and more pandemonium ensues, which ends up with prop deciding he’s going to blow up the train and he pushes marin into the main engine after kissing him a final time, saying he’s going to see jane. it’s clearly implied he dies in the explosion, and marin continues on, making it to the east coast. when there, he sees how much more advanced it is than the west coast and middle america and he’s able to gain passage to a ship to europe. the book would end with some line referencing prop’s name (prosper) and would end ambiguously cuz you dk what happens fully to marin.

so, there’s a lot of STUFF going on with this story, and a lot of things that i know will make people FEEL some type of way and part of that's the point. there's a reason that marin is purposefully older than prop and jane: i want him to feel ambiguous and i want the reader to be more on the side of prop who are somewhat suspicious of him. none of marin's actions FULLY make it so that he's a bad guy; like he still goes out of his way to help prop and jane and he genuinely grows to care about the two of them, but i want it to still be left ambiguous at the end if he decided to travel with prop and jane so that he could use them as meat shields to get to the coast? type energy yknow. the fact that he and prop have a physical relationship as well with somewhat dubcon vibes after jane's death is also a thing bc prop is consenting to the stuff that they do but he's also completely grief-stricken. and while 16 adn 19 is only three years i KNOW people are going to argue that its a problematic age gap and tbh i want that bc it adds credibility to marin being an enigma of a character. i want people to not know what to think of him because all we know about him (aside from his actions) are all based on what he tells us. we never get flashbacks to his backstory, and maybe some of the things he said are a bit contradictory and that's part of it. its also the fact that we end the story with marin. the guy we know nothing really about after watching the twins go through it and inadvertedly save his life time after time even since they first met, yet it seems like he almost dragged them into this.

but at the same time you remember that prop and jane were being hunted anyway. that marin in the beginning offers to go his own way, and refuses jane's help but she insists. that jane insists to go foraging on her own because she doesn't want to be a burden on the two of them that are already injured. that prop clings to marin, even if he pulls away because he's crying while their kissing because he wants to feel something. so imo you can argue that marin is also just a guy who is also stuck in a shitty situation just the same as them and unfortunately even though he tried to save them by bringing him with them, they weren't meant to live. obviously i am (as the author) a bit more sympathetic to marin BUT i really do like the ambiguity, just as i like the ambiguity of the white shirts in general. i'm never going to go into detail about what they want or why they're trying to hunt and kill them, that's not important. what's important is the relationship between these three characters, survivor's guilt, and how to power through grief, or let it consume you. yknow?

i also didn't realize it until now but its also definitely got some parallels to slavery and the black struggle bc all of the characters (prop, marin and jane) are black, meanwhile the white shirts along with wearing white shirts are also. well. yknow. its almost like a reverse underground railroad situation going from deep in america to the east coast to lands beyond on a boat. that was unintentional but it exists and sure you can look at it from that angle.

there's probably more i could ramble about because i have a lot of Thoughts about this wip i just unfortunately don't have the brain power to sit down and try to write it lol. maybe one day though!!

THE VIRGIN OF MOUNT HEREDOSA

this wip is a take on the "age old" question: if you were being sacrificed to a deity because you were a virgin, could you nullify your eligibility by no longer being a virgin?

nyoka is a xenabi, this universe's word for foreigner and came to this particular city (that is not named LMAO) when they were just a child because their parents were traveling merchants. unfortunately, their parents passed away during a plague at the time, and orphan nyoka was taken in by the sanctuary (or the religious body of the city). it seems like a kind gesture at first, but in actuality the caveat for them taking nyoka in is that they will be eventually sacrificed to the city's deities and so they have to adhere to a vegetarian diet and "keep pure" until its decided that its their time. unlike some of the other people who were "rescued" by the sanctuary, nyoka never adheres or converts to the religion in question and has been trying to find ways to escape being a sacrifice and they constantly get in trouble for sneaking out. one day in another attempt, they are stopped, caught, and then called before the council of elders where they learn that the next full moon, which is like a short amount of time (either 3-5 days or smthn) away, they're going to be thrown into the volcano as a sacrifice.

nyoka is freaking out. eating meat won't buy them time, they realize what they have to do is become not a virgin. after they learn this they are able to successfully sneak out the next day and during the daytime they meet a handsome spice merchant who is also a foreigner in this land. the two of them hit it off, though nyoka doesn't tell him of their predicament and the spice merchant offers them food. as the sun sets nyoka realizes they have to go to start their plan to become not a virgin and so they hurry off to the red light district. there, they manage to hide the fact that they're a sacrifice (all sacrifices are branded with magic so that people will know they are to be sacrificed) and sell themselves to a brothel for the night and they are quickly purchased when its discovered they're a virgin. when they're taken to a back room, the patron quickly discovers they're a sacrifice and flees, making a huge ruckus and nyoka is thrown out of the brothel (because people are terrified that if they taint a sacrifice that the gods will come for them). the sanctuary is called and nyoka is dragged back and locked in solitary confinement until they're supposed to die.

however, they manage to sneak out again despite the added restrictions but even still are late for their planned meeting with the spice merchant, the sun is nearly set. when they do meet, nyoka ends up breaking down and explaining everything that happened and how they're probably going to die tomorrow and the spice merchant offers to take nyoka back to his home since they "have nothing to live for". instead of going back into the city, the spice merchant leads them deep into the jungle until they are standing before a giant seemingly dilapidated mansion, however inside is warm and inviting. they talk and nyoka learns the spice merchant's name, verin. if they paid attention to the religion this would have perhaps tipped them off sooner because verin is the name of the god of destruction who was cast off of the volcano by the other gods in this city's religion. verin flirts openly with nyoka who doesn't seem to understand what he's hinting at, until finally, he laughs and asks them if they're too shy to ask for his help. nyoka doesn't understand and verin explains that if they no longer wish to be a virgin, he'd be happy to help them with that "problem" to save their life.

then they fuck PFFFF and while this happens, verin changes from a beautiful dark skinned man into a larger 4-armed, blue skinned deity and nyoka FINALLY puts together that he's not human LMAO. hashtag this is monster-fucker territory. but as they're yknow, nyoka's sacrifice mark disappears.

the next morning when they wake up, verin is still in his deity form and he does tell them that they're free the mark is gone, what will they do. nyoka isn't sure, but then decides that they want to travel with verin, and thus they head back into the city to get supplies for their trip. while there, they run into those from the sanctuary who have been looking for nyoka all night and when they try to grab them, nyoka informs them that they're no longer a virgin and thus can't be sacrificed. when its discovered their mark is gone, this enrages the head mother and she tries to kill nyoka, but verin steps in and stops her, burning the woman with acid. this is very reminiscent of stuff from their deity lore and the other nuns (or whatever) realize that he's verin the destroyer and thinks nyoka has been bewitched. nyoka shuts that shit down, says they love him, and throws their shoe at them until verin drags them away, laughing for how sweet it is for them to try and defend his honor. later that evening they've finished packing for their journey and then head off into the night to explore the rest of the world that nyoka has never seen.

this story is definitely a short story and technically i've started writing it. i may try to finish it soon cuz i get excited for it whenever i think about it BUT i dont wanna put too much pressure on myself to. its also supposed to feel folk-tale like! i love nyoka and verin they're so sweet and so good for each other <3

[fem-the-artist]

Explaining AJ part 2 🦇

Ok this is mostly going to be explaining her relationships with the rest of the cast 

it all starts with Mimzy

Obviously, AJ knows the other overlords via the meetings and such but I don’t think she cared much for them and half the time she wouldn’t even show up to meetings but I’ll get into that and the second

With Mimzy being a flapper and AJ being a punk, they’re essentially both the mold breakers of their decades, which I feel like they’d be able to like bond over in a sense. Mimzy flair for stirring up trouble also gives AJ more excuses to act and violence, which is her favorite thing to do.  they’re an odd pair aesthetically, but I feel personality wise they bounce off of each other surprisingly well, what can I say AJ loves an instigator 

Speaking of instigators, a friendship with Mimzy opens the door to A.J. friendship with Alastor although friendship, feels like too strong of a word wouldn’t really call them acquaintances though idk

They already knew each other via overlord meetings. They just never interacted before it Mimzy got involved.  in pointing out they Surprising amount similarities.

Such as

• Hyperviolence

•Having a very specific unknown moral code 

•Despising, one of the vees (i’ll get into that in a second)

•Being aroace 

•Hating being told what to do 

And of course, Alastor becomes endeared to her because he’s a girls girl and AJ is a freak and those are his two favorite things 

Now about the Vees, starting off with vox 

I think it’s a really funny, running joke that Vox keeps obsessing over the aroace who want nothing to do with him (I found Alastor a little too relatable, i’m also aroace and I also have been put in the situation of ‘hey I don’t wanna date you please leave me alone’, so this is me venting a bit. because I feel like it’s way too often portrayed from the allosexual‘s perspective and how it’s sad and tragic but in reality, it’s just fucking annoying and inconvenient)

Anyway, vox is a pathetic bisexual disaster, but then again, what else is new I just think it’s really funny that his taste is the most sophisticated man you’ve ever seen and and a woman who looks like she fought her way out of a dumpster 

(also, you can tell that these sketches with Vox are older than the rest that I’ve shown because it was before I fully committed to curling Alastor’s hair just a fun little fact )

Now moving onto the V that AJ actually hates 

It’s velvet, but you of them are the youngest overlords if I had to roughly guess I’d assume velvet died around 2003 or so 

And most of their beef is really entangled in fundamentals of what they stand for

Velvet is a conformist. She participates and creates trends. She lives by the mold, and even when she’s breaking it, she’s breaking it to establish a new one valve it stands out, doesn’t stem from anything important or anything she believes, and she does it for the notoriety and the look she is fundamentally shallow and she likes it that way

AJ, of course being punk opposes all of that she breaks the mold because it is inherently flawed and believes there shouldn’t be one in the first place she’s alternative not to be cool or stand out from the crowd it’s because of what it represents for her her punk identity is deeply important to her Because when she was alive, she fought for change (she was really hyper violent about it and let her anger cloud her judgment a lot which is why she she is in hell) but that’s neither here nor there 

The point is, they are opposing forces on each other’s identities. They despise each other out of principle, and because they genuinely fucking hate each other. 

Speed round

I don’t have drawings to accompany those ones

Cherrie- has a deep respect for AJ and they also hang out and blow shit up. Sometimes they both got the punk aesthetic

The two of them, rile each other up like there’s no tomorrow  and when left alone together will do something crazy

Rosie- friend of a friend, AJ and Rosie get along fine. The only issue is they have nothing to talk about so they constantly need a third person as a buffer usually Alastor

She will take every opportunity she can get to try to dress AJ up though there’s no stopping that woman

Niffty- AJ loves getting messy Niffty has a need to clean. You can figure it out from there. 



[charlies-palace]

I’m sending this cause you said you were here in case someone wanted to talk idk if you meant inbox or not but something’s been on my mind and I don’t really have people to talk to so

a lot of people are living out of spite and I’m glad it’s working for them but that’s never really been my thing my home life is really dangerous and school life plus medical stuff that parents and teachers are actively making worse etc and pretty much all of my life and it always has been I was never going to give up even though I’m always on the line with my situation

I thought I like warmth and softness like the feeling when someone’s pet sits in your lap or when you eat a warm meal or sit in a warm bed like the feeling of safety and also like the emotional-ness? The happy peaceful feeling and I can’t be the only person who wants it there’s so many people in the world so somebody else has got to be like looking for it in friendship and whatever and that’s why I keep going

because I just feel like it I want to survive I’ve been going because I want to be friends with those people I want friends that are all sweet like that that’s always why I’ve kept going and some new asshole president isn’t going to change that for me I was already in serious danger I was already barely hanging on and I was already fighitng to keep going this little guy isn’t going to stop me even if this is what ends up getting me in the end it’s not going to make me stop trying or anything

and now the coolest thing is every now and then I’ll meet someone or a group whose just so warm and sweet and I get so attached to the concept of just that kind of person being everywhere in my life and I think I’ve really fallen in love with like warmth and softness and that safe feeling and I was right I was right about this whole thing that like some people crave this warm safety and I’m proud and happy hell I was already proud but now I’m even happier and prouder

I just kind of wanted to say it because a see a lot of people encouraging like live out of spite because you have to and yeah! If that’s all you’ve got then do it! But I just wanted to talk about why I’m living I made a guess when I was maybe six and I’ve been going off of it ever since and I proved myself right and I’m just so proud of myself and I’m happy I’m still working on everything but I’m still proud of this anyway I figured this out so young with every adult who was supposed to help working against me and lying to me (and still doing all that garbage) but I figured it all out anyway and I thought it’s just a matter of time and it is I either go out trying or I make it and I took that and ran with it no matter what happens I did a damn good job I was a smart kid and I knew something was wrong with what people were telling me I figured this out and kept going and I promised myself if anything else ever feels off about what I think I’m never ignoring it I’m going to work through it and unlearn whatever I have to and I did I’m proud of that to of course at the time I didn’t have the words to fully like know what was happening but god I was so committed to waiting and learning and I’m so proud of myself and I’m so happy I love myself now it’s such a nice feeling I did so good

Of course I'm here. My inbox is open to anyone and everyone, always. In fact I haven't announced it yet, but I suppose now is a good time for @yourcooluncletom . It's basically an additional inbox like @your-queer-dad (sorry for the notification!).

Anyway.

I might not be able to read all of that, mostly because of the font size, but yeah. You don't have to live out of spite, but you have to live. That's all we can ask.

Much love 🫂🫂🫂

[whoblewboobear]

Tw: nsfw & SA Trauma rant 😔✌️

Sincerely trying to come to terms with being demisexual again bc I fully thought my sex fears had almost everything to do with my SA bc months before it happened I was hyping myself up to just get it over with and have sex with literally anyone.

In college I experimented a bit, dated one person and made it so clear that if we were going to have I wanted to be in a committed relationship with someone I trust. Then 🍓 cheated on me and texted the gc that it happened. We’re still friends but.. idk. That’s one thing that always floats back from time to time.

When we’d fool around it was mainly in service of her. Usually ending in me blowing her, just for her to tell me she doesn’t like eating pussy. So I never got to receive but I always gave. Even now in our friendship it’s the same. She’s with someone now, she’s happy, I’ve met her gf, she’s lovely. I’m happy for them.

I’m glad we never had sex, like very glad. Everything surrounding that relationship was fucked, it wouldn’t have been the right time. But now I’m almost 25 and what? When will it be the right time? I know sex isn’t everything but I’ve been putting in so much work to be okay with my body and people seeing it. I’ve been so fucking horny I feel like I’m coming out of my skin.

I’m tired of getting off alone and I’m tired of feeling like time is running out. I get offers through tinder and it blows always having to explain I’ve never been that intimate with someone.

It fucking blows that the only two were 🍓 and my abuser ☠️ and between the two, ☠️ was the first person to see me naked completely. 🍓 saw my tits. She made me like kissing. It was fun, exciting.

I couldn’t kiss ☠️ we were friends for years and I trusted him more than 🍓 but at the same time, it was a means to an end. I blew ☠️ more times than I can count. He ate me out and fingered me and it just sucked. He talked such a big game and I didn’t even finish. Then he came on me. Didn’t even ask either.

Afterwards he kept asking to do it again and when I finally told him I never wanted to do anything with him again he SA’d me a month later.

Like.. the fucking fear and sex repulsion after that just.. it took so long but I finally got over the sex repulsion. But the fear is still there.

I just fucking hate it especially the hornier and lonelier I get. I just want to be with someone I trust. I want to be excited for sec instead of scared. It blows bc I’ll never be able to do anything casual. I had to turn down a guy I clicked with on tinder bc he only wanted sex. Every time there’s an offer there’s a moment I’m like ‘I should do it.’

But I know it’s not what I want. I want to be in love and I want to trust them and I want them to not be upset if it takes a while. But fuck man I’m almost 25 and I feel like a child not having sex. While all my friends already have. Feels like the entire world already has. Fuck.

[angeltreasure]

Hi! I was wondering if you could offer some advice and of course pray - if anyone else has anything to add I’d appreciate it.

So I have always liked my own space, even though I do like to socialise but I like to be able to have the freedom to choose when I do my thing etc and since fully committing to faith that’s been how I like it. I really love my friends and community in church like it’s 100% necessary and wonderful. A lot of my old ‘friends’ drifted apart and I know God was pulling me away from certain things and people.

I don’t know if I’m going to explain this very well but I think in my soul I know I don’t want to be a part of big group gatherings (that are not Christian of any kind) where the general vibe is young adults/ people looking to party and have a good time and just??? I don’t know but that doesn’t fill me with excitement, if fills me with dread. But people in my life always say things like ‘it might be fun to meet new people etc and do fun things’ but my point isn’t that I don’t want to socialise and do fun things but that’s not my kind of fun! If it was a group trip or outing with other believers or people who were generally not going looking for typical young people fun (lol please I know I sound dumb rn haha) but then maybe it would be lovely. I also get anxious at the thought of having to be part of a group and feeling like I have to join in with things so for example, if the group were at a party or getting drunk I would probably end up feeling like I should just so I’m not left out but even if I didn’t join in I’d be left there bored, miserable and just wanting to leave and so in most ways I know this is something I don’t think I would benefit or enjoy but it’s hard to not feel like ‘what if I’m missing out’ especially when people around me who ig are not Christian’s or just say you should maybe do this because it’s fun or whatever. Idk if that makes any sense at all but yeah prayers, advice or anything is welcome!!!!

I know the exact feeling because I’m basically the same way. I don’t find parties where everyone’s drinking to get drunk to have a “good time” etc., and even loud spaces like crowded areas at a mall where all the people scramble around the food court like rats… the noises bouncing off the walls and the ceilings. I don’t see the fun in getting drunk or submitting to the peer pressure of the culture. While it is good to visit places now and then where there are people, know that you don’t have to participate in activities that make you feel unsafe and uncomfortable. If you ever feel like something is not right, immediately recognize that gut feeling because that’s actually your guardian angel telling you to get the heck out. Why don’t you try something else instead, such as a parish mission or a group retreat (bonus if you get one that has Eucharistic Adoration or Benediction!)? Volunteering also can be good, there are many options. This way you help someone and in turn you feel satisfaction. Another idea is invite any friend to go with you somewhere to see a movie of the faith in theaters or go eat somewhere, or perhaps go for a nature hike on a trail. As simple as that sounds, you are able to sustain and build those bonds as well as be selective of where to go and when to leave. When you get home, make time aside specifically at some point of or day or night to pray and do some self care. This will help you recharge and give you peace. Even Jesus had to get away from the crowds time to time by long walks and praying alone. You can do it too.

I’ll pray for you!

[poetsandmusic]

Ok so, I’m sitting on the kitchen table, just had dinner, watching tv. And i got to thinking. I’m so used to not having a romantic relationship, I’m used to pushing through alone. so, when the time comes, what the fuck will I do? When I find a person, will I be able to function without them? I’m afraid that because I’m used to pushing through alone when I find someone to hold me from time to time I’ll cling on like an addict. I’m afraid I’ll forget how to push through alone. And on the other hand. What the fuck will I do if I can’t cling on at all? What if I can never commit fully, or worse, what if it takes time and no one is patient enough? What then? Will I be always left on my own even when with someone? Will I always depend even when alone? Shit’s strange man idk

[subbyfoxelf]

[tv review] ds9 4x01 & 4x02 "the way of the warrior" (1995)

forget about the way of water, it’s the way of the warrior, baybee!

yeah, ok, that’s not going to age well. for future readers (being very optimistic that i’ll have future readers. or present readers. hell, i’ll take past readers even though that’s temporally confusing), i first posted this review on my tumblr the day after i posted my avatar: the way of water review. cool? cool. moving on.

worf was my favorite star trek character for a very long time, is still one of my favorite star trek characters, and has carried that distinction through very different periods of my life. my original favorite star trek character was, of course, spock. i glommed onto worf basically immediately when i started watching tng, which in retrospect makes sense because wow huh weird i was always drawn to the alien/outsider characters gee i wonder why that was? but i think i started recognizing him as my “favorite star trek character” in college when i was getting super religious to compensate for how terrified i was of beginning to question my own sexuality/gender with literally zero support. but when i became an atheist (and, later, a polytheistic witch) my love of worf endured.

idk if this is interesting to literally anyone else, so apologies if it’s not, but i just think it’s interesting when a character is so compelling that you can love them during such vastly different parts of your life, even if part of your realization that you loved them was intimately tied to that part of your life? because the thing about worf is that he’s a klingon of deep commitment to his beliefs, and that appealed to me for very specific reasons when i was a christian and appeals to me for completely different reasons now, but what hasn’t changed is that it appeals to me.

when people talk about the pantheon of great star trek actors, i think michael dorn often gets left behind, and frankly i think that’s a pretty big fucking travesty. because he brings so much to his character, and the fact that he has to act through such heavy makeup & prosthetics just makes it all the more impressive what he’s able to pull off.

i also just fucking love what worf’s presence on the show brings out in everyone else. in the previous season’s finale, when sisko is promoted to captain, chief o’brien says he’s the “newest and best” captain in the fleet. and i didn’t stop & really dig into that in my (fairly short) review of that episode because i knew i was going to get this second crack at it, but the really interesting thing about that statement is that o’brien was (at the time) the only ds9 character who served with both sisko and picard, so while i don’t know if the writers really fully considered the implications of that, the statement that is very clear when you stop and think about it is that captain sisko is a better captain than captain picard, and despite picard also being one of my absolute favorite star trek characters, and someone i frequently look to for inspiration… yeah, i’m… inclined to agree, actually?

and my recollection is that sisko is a fantastic mentor to worf. like, i’m not saying picard was a bad mentor, but i think sisko is just ever so slightly better, and i think that makes perfect sense when comparing the strengths of the two characters. both are paragons of virtue in their own ways, but with sisko there’s a bit more willingness to be vulnerable (while still recognizing his own power & attendant responsibilities), and i just think that gives him the edge a lot of times in his relationships with his crew.

and yeah, “picard plus emotional availability” is also basically the formula for captain pike in strange new worlds, so at this poiunt i think we have plenty of game tape to support the fact that this is a winning formula.

sparks also fly (literally & figuratively, since bat’leths sometimes spark when you strike them against each other) in worf’s first meeting with jadzia dax, which used to be my favorite romantic relationship in all of star trek so i’m looking forward to seeing how i feel about it this time through. certainly it’s between two of my favorite characters, so that’s obviously a pretty big advantage. (... then again, isn’t my favorite ds9 character “literally anyone but odo, and even he has his moments”???)

and that’s just… fuck, guys, i’ve gone on for two pages here gushing about this, and i haven’t even really gotten into the fucking movie-scale plot of this episode? because that would be the klingon invasion of cardassia, and the disillusion of the peace treaty between the federation & klingon empire. just, damn, y’all! there is so much going on in this episode, and all of it is just fucking fantastic!

this episode rules, guys. what a way to introduce my favorite era of ds9. i can’t believe we’re already into the worf episodes! i’m so fucking excited, y’all!

s-rank

[theyarebothgunshot]

feel like I’ve sent this to u before but u know one of my favorite cockles things? sometimes when the cast/crew (even jensen himself) is pulling misha’s leg, jensen won’t fully commit to laughing at the bit until after he looks at misha and makes sure misha’s genuinely laughing or not taking it personally. misha laughs shit off a lot. he’s a really good sport about being the butt of the joke. but it obviously must wear at him at times (he’s even mentioned how he has to personally stop himself from making self deprecating jokes because it actually does affect him) and jensen’s mentioned being able to tell when something is getting under misha’s skin. so idk it’s endearing to see someone crack a joke or jensen toss one misha’s way but then see him be careful to watch misha’s reaction before deciding “okay, he’s fine with it. good, i’ll laugh.” or “nah, that was too far. pull back.” (i’m going through con panels and the 2017 one is so heavy on the jokes so jensen keeps just checking in on misha over and over. it’s really sweet).

i think ur right and i absolutely love that....

[formulawonu]

at last / daniel ricciardo

(not my gif! credits to the owner <3)

finale to these two pieces: one & two

warnings: just kinda sweet and soft all over. i cant

summary: from summer fling to maybe a forever thing. you will always find your way back to what's meant for you?!?!?!?!??! ft. daniel ricciardo

a/n: THIS MADE ME SO ,,HSUEHFIUHE TO WRITE!!! when will i ever. honestly. daniel ricciardo makes me so mushy gushy inside i honestly wish him all the best & happiness in this world. hope you all enjoy this last piece <3 i didn't get to proofread this and ive just realized IDK HOW TO REALLY WRITE HAPPY ENDINGS??? SO idk if this is how i really wanted it to end but i tried lol AND FOR EVERYONE WHO LEFT REQUESTS IM WORKING ON IT IM SO SORRY ITS TAKING FOREVER help hahaha enjoy!!!! <3 x

7:35AM

Please tell me you’re going to be at Spain next weekend. It’s a raaace weeeeekend!

You blink a couple of times at your phone, registering the content of the text message that has been sent two hours ago. Today, you are at London. Next weekend? You’d be willing to be anywhere he wanted you to be. You type out a quick reply.

9:48AM

Depends on who’s asking?

This is how you have been talking to Daniel (along with the occasional video call here and there) ever since you had bumped into each other in Italy. He had kept his side of his informal promise from the morning you had woken up to catch your flight to Norway — he had texted you right before you boarded your flight and since then you two had been talking whenever you could.

9:49AM

I’m asking!

9:49AM

Hm. I’ll have to think about it then.

You’re still trying to wake yourself up, having gotten used to waking up to messages from Daniel asking the silliest things to the more serious ones. The past race weekends you hadn’t been able to watch, despite Daniel asking you to, because you had always been busy with your job or other commitments. However, next weekend was free for you. Your phone ringing snaps you out of your slight morning daze.

“Playing hard to get so early in the morning?” The familiar Australian accent greets. He can’t see you, but your smile has made its way onto your face thanks to the voice on the other end of the line. “Just to keep you on your toes, Daniel.” You retort. “Good morning to you too.” He greets in reply.

It was the little things like this that made you appreciate Daniel’s newly established presence in your life, despite the distance that separated the two of you. He always made it a point to find his way into your otherwise normal days. Whether it be a quick picture of something that reminded you of him or a call at the end of a tiring day, he always tried to connect with you. You treasured each moment you had with him because you fully understood how busy his career made him.

“So Spain, huh? Back to where it all started. Kinda cliché, I like it.” You ask, thinking of where you had first met Daniel. “Yes! A hundred times, yes. I’d fly you out as early as possible since you seem to have a thing for early flights.” He teases. “Might just pick a later flight to rile you up.” You reply. Daniel laughs. “I think you would actually do that. Might have to pick you up myself.” “Desperate to see me?” You joke. “Desperate to have you beside me.” Daniel replies. You’re caught speechless for a few moments, not used to the seriousness that came with what Daniel had just last said. “You-“ “Oh, you’re blushing, aren’t you?” “I am not!” You say, knowing full well you’ve just lied and Daniel clearly knows this as well. “Okay, whatever you say. So, Spain? Yes? Yes? Yes? The only correct answer is yes.” You take a moment to answer, loving the feeling of knowing that he wants to see you just as much as you want to see him.

“Yes.” You finally reply.

“Well then, I’m counting the days until I see you again.”

“That is too cheesy.”

“You love it.”

Time moves so quickly you can barely register that it is Tuesday night of the next week already. Daniel had asked you to fly out Wednesday morning so you could both spend some time together before he got swallowed up by the demands of a race weekend. Thursday was media day for him then Friday until Sunday were obviously the more important parts of the hectic schedule he had. You worried a lot about how crazy it seemed to be traveling alone just to see a guy that admittedly meant more to you than you would like to admit, but everything about your story with Daniel felt insane and nearly impossible. More than the uncertainty that came with jumping into something you had no prior experience with, you were excited. Just like that last night on your little island almost a year ago, you would go anywhere with Daniel Ricciardo. Anything felt possible with him.

You couldn’t sleep at all during your flight to Spain. The reality of flying to see Daniel race suddenly felt so real to you and you couldn’t, for the life of you, think about how you were going to act when you finally saw him again. Would you hug him? Would you just wave and say ‘hello’? Daniel had told you he was going to arrange for someone to come pick you up at the airport so that calmed you down a bit, knowing that you would have more time to think about what you were going to do before you actually saw him. Baggage claim didn’t take too long since you had only brought a single suitcase and then you were off to look for whoever it was that Daniel had sent for you.

You burst out laughing the moment you see the sign. There, standing for all of the arriving passengers to see, was Michael at the exit of the airport. “For the girl who came out to watch Daniel Ricciardo race.” The sign reads.

Your cheeks are flushed and you almost want to pretend to not know who he is, but Michael says, “Y/N! Over here!” You groan and make your way towards him. “Really?” You ask, laughing. He pulls you into a hug. “Daniel said I would be fired if I didn’t hold it up.” He jokes. “Wouldn’t be surprised.” You both make your way across the road, presumably to the car you’re both taking to the hotel. You make easy conversation with Michael, asking him how he’s been and catching up on random bits of information on what he’s been doing when suddenly your breath catches in your throat.

There, leaning on a sports car, is the man you would have travelled to anywhere for. He is in a plain white t-shirt and black jeans, with his arms crossed by his chest. His curls are being moved about by the Spain wind and the crinkles by his eyes are at full force. He is smiling at no one else but you. He looks absolutely wonderful.

You don’t realize that you’ve stopped listening to what Michael has been saying because you’re smiling at no one else but Daniel too. There is barely anyone paying attention to the scene that is unfolding or maybe you just don’t notice them too, but in this moment, all you can really focus on is the man just a couple of feet away from you. “He wanted to come surprise you.” You hear Michael say. Daniel pushes himself off the car, opening his arms for you to jump into. Your steps quicken, dragging your suitcase with you. You end up letting go of your suitcase when you’re near enough to throw yourself into Daniel’s arms, wrapping your own around him. He smells just as good as he did from the last time you found yourself in his arms and he is just as snug as you remember him to be. Once again, it feels as though you both have been made to fit each other perfectly.

“Hi.” He whispers into your hair, breathing in your presence too.

“Hi.” You whisper back.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t come sooner.”

You pull away from the hug, just wanting to take in the man standing in front of you. You still don’t understand how life could turn out this way — that you could be so fortunate enough to have crossed paths with someone like Daniel. You can’t comprehend that you’ve waited so long to come back to him. You turn to Michael, who is standing behind you both. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me he was here!” You say, laughing. You take note of how one of Daniel’s arms remain wrapped around your waist, almost as if he is making sure you aren’t going anywhere. You wouldn’t. Not for anything. “Again, he would fire me if I did so.” The three of you burst out laughing. “But I’ve done my job. I’m off!” Michael adds. You cock your head to the side, confused. “What do you mean?” “Well, I’ve actually just played the part of a decoy. I have some business to attend to near this area so I came along to say hi.” “Fair enough. It was great seeing you, Michael. I’m happy to say I’ll probably be seeing you again later.” Michael laughs at what you’ve just said, probably realizing this time you aren’t leaving so quickly. “I’ll see you then.”

“You’re staring, doll.” Daniel teases as he drives through the streets of Spain. You shake your head, still taking him in. You take a mental note of the nickname he’s just called you, your heart fluttering at the sweetness of it. One hand is on the steering wheel, the other is holding your hand. He gives your hand a quick squeeze. “I still can’t believe we’ve made our way back here.” You offer, not quite knowing how to put your feelings into apt words. “Good thing?” He asks, quickly glancing at you then back at the road. “Great thing. I feel happy.” “I do too. You have no idea.”

Daniel drives you both into the less crowded entrance of the hotel you are both staying at to evade a lengthy trip into the lobby. You check in with the receptionist, who is eyeing Daniel most of the time. More than it bothering you, it pleases you even more that he doesn’t seem to notice because he is too busy discreetly drawing circles into your lower back. It seems that neither of the two of you would like to be separated any more than you need to be (quite literally). The tension building between the two of you is almost suffocating and if Daniel not being able to keep his hands off of you wasn’t enough of an indication of that, you can’t seem to get your mind off of the unforgettable nights you had with him back in Spain. The moment you are in the elevator, which you luckily have to just the two of you, he pulls you into his back, his arms wrapping around your waist. Your back is pressed flush against his body, feeling all of him.

“I’ve been wanting to do this ever since you left me on our island.” He whispers into your ear before his lips come in contact with your cheek. You smile against the feeling of his lips on you once again. This is different from your brief encounter in Italy, it feels more intense and urgent. If anything, the two of you meeting in Italy, paired with the conversations that ensued afterwards, were building up to what was happening now. “I’ve missed you so much,” Daniel continues, moving down from your cheek to your jaw. “I’ve missed you too.” You whisper, almost as if you don’t want anyone else to hear what you two are saying. This moment is between the two of you only. “I’m so happy you are here.” He finishes, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck. You are about to give in and you are just about to turn around to finally kiss him after all these months, but suddenly the elevator opens and you are on your floor. Instead, you plant a kiss on his cheek. “I am happy I am here too.”

You both enter your hotel room, your suitcase already placed near the complimentary closet by the bellhop before you had arrived. You survey your room, familiarizing yourself with where everything is and Daniel has immediately made himself at home on your bed. The sight of him, laying down in your bed as if it is second nature, makes your heart skip a beat because you so desperately wish this was something that you could have for a long time coming. “Excuse me, I don’t recall inviting you to my bed.” You tease, leaning on the wall to watch him. He looks at you then pats the space beside him. “Just wanted to make sure it was in tiptop condition. Feels great, if I do say so myself.” You make your way to the bed, throwing yourself onto the space beside him. Daniel wasn’t lying, the bed felt absolutely great. Your head sinks into the pillows and you close your eyes for a while, finally feeling like you can relax. Right now, in this moment, everything feels like it has fallen into place.

“What are you thinking?” Daniel asks, his voice finally coming from right beside you and not from over the phone. You both are lying down on your bed, simply enjoying each other’s presence in comfortable silence. You open your eyes and glance to your side, he is already looking at you. “Can’t seem to think with you staring at me, actually.” You tease. “It’s payback for the car ride. I could barely drive with you watching me.” “Once a stalker, always a stalker.” Daniel chuckles, his hand coming up to brush away hair that has fallen over your face.

“You came back.” He says, looking into your eyes. Suddenly, it feels like all of the air has been sucked out of the room and you are enveloped in a moment in time that consists of just you and Daniel. “I keep my promises. You came back too.” You reply, noticing how Daniel’s eyes are able to express much of his emotions without him needing to say anything. You wonder if he can read yours just as well. “It was difficult not to.” He confesses. “Even more so for me.” You say back.

“Then maybe we should both just stay and make life easier.” He says after a while, his smile making his way onto his face once more. You know he is not just talking about this weekend, he is talking about something more. Something more intimate — something you want just as much as he does. “I think that’s a great idea.” You reply, inching your face closer to his. No extra words necessary, you both understand what you are trying to say. “One of the best ones I’ve had in a while.” Daniel has moved his face closer to yours, the morning sunlight spilling in from the windows lighting up his features. He is stunning.

“You know what else is a great idea?” You whisper now, your lips way too close for big movements. “What?” He whispers back, your lips now brushing against each other. It is taking everything in you not to eliminate all of the unnecessary space between the two of you.

“Breakfast!” You say, planting a peck on his lips then getting up from the bed.

Daniel groans, burying his face into one of the pillows. “You are such a tease!” He says, getting up anyway. “We have plenty of time to do that later.” You reply, winking at his pouting face. Suddenly, his expression shifts. The realization that you both are not working with borrowed time anymore — that you have the promise of all weekend and maybe next weekend or even future weekdays to make up for lost time between the two of you because neither of you need to worry about when you’ll see each other next. “That we do, that we do.” He replies after a while.

And as you make your way to the hotel’s breakfast area, your hand secretly in his as you ride the elevator, you are smiling wider than you have in a while and you wouldn’t be surprised if he is too. Daniel squeezes your hand and you think you’re hearing things but you’re sure he’s just whispered it:

“At last.”

[lre333]

LCNBC is an ambitious project for me in that it’s made of personal firsts : first bc, first time sharing gameplay, first attempt at weaving something like a story out of the various stories given to me with each of the contestants - wanting to do right by all of them and make it fun to watch along ~ idk fully what i want this to be or if i’ll be able to accomplish whatever that is, but i know i’m having a blast figuring it out (i fkn love puzzles, and boy is this puzzling loool) - right now, my plan is for a quick posed intro post to officially welcome the babes into the estate, then let them run loose and see what they’ll get up to! they’ve already got a head start on that last part, so i figured i’d share it with you ~ here’s a lil sneak peek of what went down during the single in-game hour of sim-wrangling

travel hasn’t been too kind to these three - Manu arrived nauseous, Andres is feeling under the weather because of the weather, and Otto is pissed at the sun for existing due to his High Maintenance trait XD

he decided to try a mean interaction with Camila about it, which i cancelled in a hurry and didn’t pause to see what he was intending to do because i didn’t want him to move from the spot i’d teleported him to - but he moved anyway so i got a shot of them looking like Rock ‘em Sock ‘em robots for the lols ~

Andres sulked off to where Manu had gone, finding solace in the garden

i’m fully projecting my own heavy sigh onto this image ldkajfldkf

Tayo struck up a conversation with Terri as soon as i unpaused the game - here he is asking for a hand massage, which led to another canceled action because (despite what i would read as disinterest in her expression) she accepted XD both of them got teleported back to their spots while trying to route to the spa

i’m guessing she didn’t like it ldkasjf Davina’s side-eye is sending me XD

Andres just really wasn’t all there for the whole welcome spiel when he got teleported back from the garden, and Isadora’s really starting to doubt his commitment to Sparkle Motion

i unpaused for a few moments to find a better talking pose in Isadora’s animation and Slice of Life overlays came for Manu and Tayo’s mugs with cruel conviction - for the sake of continuity, anti-acne cheats and a skin treatment were deployed ~ 🚫

though Tayo seems to be glowing inexplicably... is he love-struck, or contagious?

behold~! my self-insert 🥜 

@foxsimthings @geeky-simz @magnoliapromenadegalleria @pixel-imaginarium @rruhos​  @sxllylxttlebxtch @xldkx​

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Just want to say about the living at home thing — a lot of people do especially right now. And it not only isn’t a shame but when you are open about it and not apologetic about it the majority of people are just fine with it. The people who won’t aren’t the kind you want anything to do with anyway.

With dating it can be more difficult because you lack truly private space. I put on my profile “currently underemployed and living at home, lesbian looking for female lover who doesn’t mind meeting me here or me crashing at her place 😂 … happy to help you keep it well”

(except this is a translation so hopefully the language is less awkward how I actually wrote it)

I always say, I’m making a good financial decision for myself, and living with family in our case is beneficial to all of us. I will move out when I want to and am able to.

It also not that long ago was pretty common even in the industrialized West to live at home in 20s and then there was a weird period where it became very stigmatized and rarer and now it is basically returning to being common again. I think it will keep trending that way.

About not working, it’s good to remember it shouldn’t be like this… so like you shouldn’t feel shame for the situation. But also that either committing to some alternative (“off the grid” idk how this works for people but you could look into it) or getting some employment and funds, will help you. Just got to get to it at your own pace. Volunteering is a good start because you aren’t under the same pressure but do get out and can get references, list it on a resume. Part time work low pressure is also good. I think you could make a good camp counselor! 💜🖤💜 (that’s supposed to be the labrys flag lol)

Awwww thank you that’s really kind and encouraging of you!! I really appreciate the lovely message 💕💕

And you are right about the work. I definitely want to work or do volunteering. Like after having a relationship and getting back into writing, getting a job is right up there. This probably sounds like a lazy excuse but my mental health issues just make it way too hard at the moment. Which is why I’m on the dsp (disability support pension). It’s like my desire to work is far higher then me actual capability to work. Which I hate so much. It’s a very isolating experience and it distances me from so many people. Having a job is how so many humans bond with each other. So to not have that is just hard. I’m not like necessarily embarrassed to be on the dsp. And I’ll tell anyone who asks. But I do know it limits a lot of my dating options because many people just don’t want to be with someone who can’t relate to their working experiences. Which I fully understand. But I guess it just get frustrated at it because of the further isolation it gives me.

But gosh do I want to work!!!! So I’m really really hoping I can get better to the point where I’m able to work like one or two days a week. That would be so amazing 😫

But thank you again for the lovely message!! I hope you have a beautiful day ☺️💕💕