#idk what to feel. i am going to be petty about this until i fully process it

[hazelnut-u-out]

EPISODE REVIEW TIMEEEE:

(contains spoilers for “analyze piss”)

sooo…. goddamn….

that was dark, and lighthearted, and inspiring all at once.

i was stoked to see rick seeking out therapy, adapting to it, and being open to growth and change.

i think because of the serious nature of this episode, i’m going to divide my specific initial thoughts into two categories- “light” and “heavy.”

i have to give this ep a 9/10 on first-watch. it feels like a crime to not appreciate this for what it is.

light thoughts:

-NIMBUS CAMEO NIMBUS CAMEO. i didn’t realize how much i love and miss this character until we got to see him again. i am so interested in his dynamic with rick and how much potential he has to be explored.

-YEEEUPPPP. this moment still holds up-

- lmao for once i found myself rooting for jerry in a fight. i’m astounded at how much that showed for his character development, too. he was defending his daughter. his actions later on in the ep are questionable, but no more petty than what we’ve seen from rick.

- it was also cute to see morty and summer be proud of their parents for once. super nice contrast from previous moments that showed they are usually not too thrilled with being associated with them (like in “childrick of mort,” etc.)

- i loved how everyone was celebrating rick for accepting therapy. jerry having his back was really sweet- and beth kissing him on the cheek. it’s nice to see this family unit show some support for each other.

- LMAO RICK IGNORING MR. GREEN BEAN WITH HIS SUNGLASSES ON

- it was so sweet to see rick genuinely happy for his family. just :) while they were climbing on board. (idk if that was him being facetious towards himself, considering he was pulling from his flask, but i thought it was cute)

-shoutout to wong for tricking rick sanchez into doing therapy homework. woman works wonders.

okay… time for the heavy stuff:

- they handled the topic of suicide beautifully and respectfully, which i assume would be a difficult move for a “comedy” to make.

i cried a lot during this episode. a lot.

- wow. just… wow. that was a lot to take in. i found it interesting that rick sought out piss master because he related to him. he knew he was probably complex and misunderstood.

it’s reminiscent of “the old man and the seat” to me, but it seems like rick found it easier to accept another “piece of shit” as his friend than he did tony, who was generally a decent person.

the fact that piss master had a daughter also reminded me of rick’s relationship with tony. rick related to tony because of his dead wife, which drove his decision to forfeit his toilet. rick related to piss master because of his relationship with his daughter, which drove him to make his death something she could be proud of (and wouldn’t blame herself for).

- building off of my last thought, it seems like every time rick decides to open up and accept friendship, they end up dying (with an exception of BP, squanchy, etc.). he’s growing, but he’s still not allowed to let new people in yet.

- that scene of him trying to save piss master was gut wrenching. just… all of it. he really didn’t want him to die. he really cared. he’s really a person- wholly and fully. piss master wasn’t just some guy to rick in that moment.

- that scene where he has a conversation with piss master’s daughter (literally SPEAKING AS piss master) hit me hard.

i really think, in his mind, he was talking to beth there.

piss master is someone rick can relate to, not only for his daughter, but the fact that he wanted to take his own life. the show isn’t shy about the fact that rick has attempted suicide before.

here’s the scenes this scene reminded me of:

rick has literally tried to kill himself in his daughter’s house. i wonder if that made him think of how that would have made beth feel- to have found him there. if she would have blamed herself…

he wouldn’t ever want his little girl to think that.

piss master is a lot like him: a piece of shit whose daughter loves the fuck out of him for some reason.

i also don’t think it’s a coincidence that piss master’s daughter looks a lot like beth. that look through the peephole at her? damn… how do you think that felt?

(can’t find a screen grab of her yet, but when i do i’ll update this.)

we know he’s a sap for men with dead wives/daughters. this one hit home.

-in the end, morty is his best friend. he couldn’t bear to hurt alone.

i don’t think that he confided in morty to be a dick, or to regress at all. i think he was trying to healthily share his feelings, but that wasn’t fair to morty. he could’ve called wong, or told her earlier. that’s what therapists are for.

- it shows a lot that morty retaliated immediately.

“i can’t sit with that!”

“and you expect me to?!”

great moment that shows his growth.

(i really don’t feel like i’m giving this episode justice, so i’m going to rewatch soon and make a full analysis).

[burninglilys]

ipytm spoilers ahead/////~~~

so there really was no reason for all that cheating if you’re going to have an ending like THAT, huh? i adore cheesy endings but then what was the point of ep3&ep4? why the cheating plot of things remain unresolved? they could’ve had the same ending even without cheating, without jai. could’ve literally had them drift apart because they are not the same people that they were when they fell in love. could’ve broken up then, idk!!! it would have seemed more real than this because it literally seems like oh-aew is stepping foot into the same toxic cycle again.

[kkusuka]

I have a cool request :3 Hawks, Eraserhead, Dabi, and (Idk of you do other characters like Bakugo) with an s/o that has a black barn owl quirk. She’s an intelligent, sweet, and quiet person since said owls act like that. In human form, she has large eyes for night vision and looks cute as hell,sharp talons when she flexes her hand, can flap her arms to make wings appear, can fully turn her head all the way around and tilt it upside down, and can chirp when excited or screech when pissed. She can turn into a giant owl and carry multiple people and can ram hella hard into people/walls to inflict damage. Owls may be cute but they can be scary as hell with their loud screech and when a shadow covers their eyes enough to look like black sockets.

I’d love head cannons of these guys reacting to her turning her head all the way around when they call her or when her eyes become black sockets when she becomes pissed enough

i love owls SO MUCH

and i write for literally any character lol

i had fun doing this one <3

Hawks

This is love at first sight, as he claims you “flew down from the heavens”

He immediately wanted to see anything and everything that you can do

From the first time he saw them, he was hypnotized by your wings

They were so beautiful

During the beginning of your relationship, he would make you fly along with him to do the most random things.

Apparently, a sleepy Hawks is a forgetful Hawks

So when he called your name to ask if you had any food for him, and you turned your head a whole 180, he screamed like a child

He thought he was having a bad dream where everyone was a demon, he was so panicked that he called Endeavor

It took 5 minutes for it to hit him, you had an owl quirk

Owls can do that, yeah you were swarmed with apologies for the next hour.

After that, he truly thought he knew everything about you and your quirk!

You couldn’t surprise him with anything!

Yes, you actually could, and he learned this when he watched you add one of your “closest”  friends argue

That was an entire experience of its own

He’ll be honest, seeing your eyes go completely black was kinda scary at first and the screeches you let out were hurting his ears at first

None of that compared to how hot he thought you looked, and knowing his Babybird had a backbone was even hotter ;)

Aizawa Shouta

You two probably were paired up for a rescue mission and hit it off almost instantly

I am a firm believer that is he liked cats, he likes the nocturnal bunch

It’s just how that works

He already thought you were totally impressive when you sprouted wings

But you looked even cooler caring 6 people to safety, on your first trip

After that, he was just “really curious” about what you could do

As in he wanted to get to know you better

After figuring out you could turn fully into an owl, he wanted to play a prank on class A

Hw would take you to class in owl form, and then in the middle of class, you would turn back!

The prank got a good scare out of most of the class, then Deku started with the questions, you were a pro hero after all

You even demonstrated how your head moves sound and how you use your talons without hurting civilians

Needless to day Tokoyami enjoyed it

Having an owl quirk, you didn't focus much of your time on combat, but you couldn't stand by while villains hurt innocent civilians

This was the first time not only Aizawa saw you pissed, but it was also almost everyone's first time seeing you pissed

And damn, you were terrifying

But you did prove yourself to be someone villains shouldn't mess with

And from then on, Aizawa couldn't wait to see everything else you could do <3

Dabi

He thought you were fucking cool

You had met on the street, where he was bleeding, so you flew him to your apartment and sewed him up

He interrogated you about your quirk for like 3 hours before trying to recruit you to the league, you really didn't have anything else to do so you agreed

And that began the reign of terror, you were powerful and you were “not that hard to look at”

And you were the perfect person that he could use to prank the other members of the LOV

Aka Shiggy

He didn't tell anyone what your quirk was, so when he brought you he had to sit next to Toga at the end of the bar

While he sat next to Shigaraki on the couch behind you

You can see where this is going right?

He called your name, made sure Shiggy was looking, and you freaked him the fuck out

He scREAMED-

He threw his game controller on the floor and looked away

So from then on Dabi was convinced you were perfect for him

He did anything he could to make you squeak and squeal, he never tells you but he thinks you sound so cute!

You were also his break-in buddy! The second he found out you could break down walls, the two of you were practically inseparable

Everything was going amazing!

Until he got badly injured in a bar fight with some random men, and that was the first time he had ever seen you so angry

You had grown your talons and your eyes were void of color, it was scary

Usually, he liked when you squealed but you just sounded so angry, the only thing that calms you down was promising that he wouldn’t do it EVER again

He’s just really obsessed with you at this point, so he isn't going to let you go anytime soon

(or ever)

Bakugo

He was yelling in the hallway, as usual, and he saw you turn your head to look at him

And he was really confused, like reallllllyyyy confused

And after questioning (threatening) other students about you, he decided that you were a threat to him becoming number one

And he couldn't have that, so he cornered you in a classroom after class one day, he hadn’t even said anything before he found himself unable to speak

Why?

1- you had let out the most adorable squeal he’d ever heard in his life

2- you were waaaay prettier up close then you were from afar, and even then you were petty

This guy was frozen for a minute before demanding your name and any known fact about your quirk.

This lead to an exchange of numbers and eventually a clearly romantic friendship

He was entranced by how your quirk, and just you in general

But this is Bakugo, he’s hot-headed and protective, basically, he treats you like a doll

This leads to arguments, and at that point, you were totally pissed at him!

You had shut him down!

He didn't want to say it but you looked kinda cute when you were angry, BUT HE WAS LISTENING TO YOU

And he did lighten up, but he still riles you up to see you like that, it makes him feel like his sweet little baby could make herself so scary

And that just makes him even more sure that you two are perfect for each other

[golbrocklovely]

i have questions

why do we want colby to unfollow elton?

and what has brennan supposedly done?

also, i read your last two posts and i hope you're feeling better, darling. dm me if you'd like to talk! 💙🪶

thank you for your message. sorry i didn't reply this morning, had to go to work haha

so, for brennen, i highly recommend you look into this blog here. it will help you better understand why a lot of us don't like him. and as heads up, it has some trigger topics like SA and things of that nature, so if you don't want to read that, you don't have to. but just know that that is what brennen has been accused of doing, and thus we hate him for that.

and then with elton, it's a whole different story.

so to fully recap everything, when snc explained that they were gonna be doing 25x25 back in december of last year, fans thought it sounded a lot like TFIL, which is elton's thing. once elton heard of this, he tweeted out "The goal of TFIL was always to inspire people to make a list of goals, chase their dreams & do what scares them along the way so they can live a fulfilling life. I guess I did my job rather well now that other creators are doing the exact thing :)" and idk about you, but it sounds hella petty to me.

not to mention how he replied to ppl:

after this, it wasn't long until basically on any given day, elton was shading snc. it's obvious that even tho he's "happy to inspire" snc (which like... he didn't lol) he's still upset bc somehow 25x25 is too similar to TFIL, even tho it's not. but bc elton feels slighted, he continues to shade snc.

here are some examples:

there's probably more, i just don't have screenshots of it bc they were in livestreams and whatnot.

so bc of all this, i dislike elton so fucking much lol

and the thing that sucks the most is that i don't want to dislike elton, i truly don't. he's the reason i know who snc are. but how the fuck am i supposed to support him when he treats snc like shit? HE brought this to the internet, HE made this public for not reason other than to drag snc thru the mud.

idk what he wants, or what he's trying to prove, but whatever he thinks he's doing... he isn't lol

so... i'm glad colby stopped following him.

also i'm doing a lot better, thank you for asking :)

[larentsaloud]

Lawless F4 x Gorya

Life is funny for someone who thinks of himself as grand, like he has got all the stars in the palm of his hand, but when he meets you his small world becomes large and more beautiful. 

We’ve learned to feel pain, sorrow and have grown because of it. Most importantly you show me how to love, 

It’s funny my whole world has changed because of a one small girl - you. 

The opening is so poignant. I want to make a list of transgressions and crimes F4 accumulated against Gorya, so that we don’t forget because it’s so easy to get lost in the dreamy eyes of one puppy (Thyme) ™️

Gorya explains the world that she inhabits as:

There is an old stadium with no CCTV where no phones are allowed. 

No phones, no evidence. 

You get summoned with a red card and in front of those most influential people. 

Well, one such guy attempted to get justice, but what happens? He recorded what F4 does and wanted to expose them. Incredible to think Gorya will challenge them, knowing fully well ALL of this. 

Even more astounding that she has the bravery to put herself out there, while on scholarship and well aware she can be destroyed within a split second and her whole family. 

And yet she risked it all for a snake friend. 

See, the way Thyme reacts to the boy challenging him in complexity different to the way he reacts to a girl. IDK why, I'm going to guess he takes issues with physical violence against women. Like he is a brat, but I'm choosing to believe he would not willingly lay a hand on a girl. He does it though through his actions, when he gives her the red card and when he asks the school to bully her out. 

That is menace king shit. Nasty. 

Let’s not forget that Ren is PART of all that dynamic. He participates in this, even by proxy. The fact is that Ren helps her out on several occasions and has a good guy vibe all throughout until he doesn't if you know what I mean. 

What irks me, is that Ren never openly says we need to stop this, we need to not give people red cards anymore. Does Mira know about their sick games? Would the Queen of justice stand for this shit? I think not. 

But here we are, at the end of episode 2 and Thyme is asking quite rightly:

Why are you helping her? 

I gave this girl a red card.

It is obvious to me that Ren is enjoying Gorya disrupting and causing waves, but he lack the initiative to pursue what he is attracted to. Note he is attracted to Mira and Gorya because they both have clear view of the world, decisiveness and are both kind and open minded. 

Ren, if he was the man we would want him to be for Gorya in order to be worthy of her; should have fought for Gorya harder in the beginning. 

He watches with intrigue and is that speculator figure in everything, even in his own life. 

It’s not until Gorya confronts him he actually starts realising he is being a mere observer of his own life and pursues Mira. 

The way he responds to Gorya is lot more violent that I would have liked. 

He physically pushes her and while Thyme has waged a war on her and has done many bad to questionable things so far, the one thing I will give him: he has not been violent with her. Granted, he abducted her to give her a make over in exchange for an apology. 

But there is something petty about Ren the way he responds when challenged. 

He doesn't take the feedback well and I do not like his aggression. 

For someone who plays the cool, detached character there is a LOT of pent up anger behind that fake ass smile facade. 

I am making this post, because there seems to some big ass misconception that Ren is a good guy, or ppl shipping her with Gorya, as if he actually did anything worthwhile. 

Guys. 

I know that the thing happened and he helped her. 

That was basic human decency. 

Come on. 

We are not going to clap him for drawing a line at s/a.

Surely? 

To sum it up:

Ren is not a good guy

Thyme is not a good guy 

Neither deserve her right now. (Ep 6 just aired)

[haikyuuthots]

You want to kiss me so bad right now. (Headcanon)

He says “you want to kiss me so bad right now.” during an argument. That’s it that’s the tweet.

Characters: S. Daichi, T. Oikawa, T. Kuroo & M. Atsumu

A/n: it’s 2 am and i saw this concept and wanted to try it out. Also if u don’t know who lord farquad is, please watch Shrek then come back cause you’re missing out hahahah.

—————————————————————————

Daichi

You were upset because he cancelled your plans for the third time in a row.

You understood he was busy and needed to focus on volleyball but that didn’t make you any less hurt.

“Baby I told you I was sorry, practice just took longer than expected.”

“Yeah, this always happens Daichi, practice always takes longer than expected.”

“Please just try to understand...”

“I have been understanding! I’ve been trying to let it slide but three cancellations in a row. That’s fucked up.”

He feels bad. He knows you’re a really good girlfriend

“Ok love, let’s just hang out now.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

You’re just being petty honestly, but you did wanna hang out with him.

“C’mere.” He reaches to grab you.

“Nah.” You pull away and begin to walk away.

He gives a sly smirk. He actually finds your attitude ✨hot✨

“Nope.” He grabs you quickly and turns you to face him.

You two are extremely close right now, and he just stares at you with a teasing smirk.

You’re hella flustered and he knows it.

“You want to kiss me so bad right now.”

You’re a blushing mess, your natural reaction is to push him away. “Shut up.”

“C’mon baby. A small kiss. I know you want to.”

What a fuckin tease.

You can’t help it, with the way he’s looking at you. You cave and give him a quick peck on the lips.

He smiles, and holds you tighter.

“I’m still mad at you, ya know.”

“What can i do to change that?”

“Buy me frozen yogurt and maybe I’ll consider forgiving you.”

He laughs at your response. “Sure baby. Anything you want.” He leans down to give you a gentle kiss.

You honestly couldn’t stay mad at him. He was too sweet.

Oikawa

You hated that your boyfriend entertained his fangirls so much and practically flirted with them back.

“It’s so disrespectful Tooru. You were practically flirting with her right in front of me.”

“No I was not. I was just accepting her compliment.”

“How are you gonna tell me. I was right there. You said her hair was pretty too!”

Maybe you were overacting. But you were just having a bad day honestly.

“Come here love. Don’t be mad.” He tries to go reach for your hand.

You pull away. “Nah how about you talk to her some more.”

Oikawa finds your jealousy cute, so decides to tease you a bit.

“Jealousy is an ugly color on you. Ya know.” He chuckles out.

“Ha! I am not jealous.”

“Yeah?? Your attitude tells me otherwise.” He’s leaning closer towards you and closes the gap between your bodies.

“You’re delusional Tooru. I’m just saying it’s disrespectful.” .

He’s staring into your soul. With a mischievous smirk.

“Ya right.”

You’re looking up at him with an annoyed look on your face.

Oikwas smirk only gets wider. He’s fully entertained.

“Oohhh. You wanna kiss me so bad right now, I can see it.”

Your cheeks flushed red. You were so flustered at his sudden words.

“Tch. Leave me alone. ” you give him a slight shove to add space between you two.

“It’s ok love I don’t blame you. If I were you I’d wanna kiss me too.”

He’s fully teasing you now, he finds your flustered state adorable.

“Alright oikawa I’m just gonna head out.”

You try to leave but oikawa grabs you by your arm to restrict any further movement.

“Wait. I’m kidding.” He let’s out a small laugh.

“I really am sorry. I don’t want you to feel that way. You’re the prettiest and only girl for me.”

Your heart flutters at his words.

“As I should be.” 😌

Ok you’re over it now. Lmao

He lets out a small laugh. “Ok now give me a kiss.”

“Ohhh you want to kiss me so bad right now.” You repeat the words he said to you earlier in the same teasing manner.

“Yes I do actually.” Oikawa leans down to give you a soft kiss.

Y’all start making out. Oops.

Kuroo

You’re walking home from school with your boyfriend.

Everything was normal until Kuroo randomly started teasing you out of no where

You were used to Kuroo’s teasing, but today when he mentioned how short you were, it struck a nerve.

“Babe wait. Are you really mad?”

“Yes.” You’re walking away from him.

“Oh c’mon I was just kidding.”

“You called me lord farquad Kuroo. Where the hell did that come from?”

“You called me a rooster head first!”

Lmao whoops guilty. Yup you were the one that initiated the teasing.

“Ok but that doesn’t mean you have to call me a name.”

Kuroo’s laughing. Honestly he’s very entertained, your annoyed expression is very cute to him.

“Wait.” He grabs your by your wrist to stop you from walking any further.

You’re face to face, and are only staring at each other.

Your annoyance only grows when you see the giant smirk on his face. He’s so entertained by this.

“Why are you smiling like that. We’re fighting.”

Kuroo let’s out a small laugh. “This doesn’t really seem like a fight.”

“Well it is cause I’m mad you so what’s up.”

“Yeah? But you want to kiss me so bad right now. I can tell. Look at you just staring at my lips.”

Fucking TEASE

“Kuroo shut up I’m not gonna kiss you we’re figh-“

Kuroo cuts you off with a kiss

And you reciprocate right away.

Your arms are wrapped around his neck and his are on your waist.

As you pull away the first thing you notice is kuroo’s smirk.

“Thought you didn’t wanna kiss me.”

But like honestly how could you NOT kiss him who are you kidding.

You give an annoyed smile. “Oh shut up.”

“So does this mean we’re not fighting anymore?”

“You’re lucky you’re a good kisser.”

He laughs at your response and holds out his hand to grab yours.

“Let’s go baby. I’ll buy you some food.”

Are you kidding he was almost as sweet as he was a tease.

Atsumu

He yelled at you because you asked him if he wanted a piece of your sandwich while he was observing a volleyball game on t.v

Obviously you were hurt because, wtf??? How rude.

When he was done watching the game he headed over to you to cuddle.

But nah you were mad so no cuddles for him

When he approached you and you pushed him away he was hella confused

“Why are you pushing me away princess?”

“Mmm idk why did you yell at me for asking a simple question?”

“Yell?”

This man couldn’t even remember yelling at you lmao.

“Yes Atsumu. I asked you if you wanted the rest of my sandwich and you said “wait y/n don’t talk to me right now!”

“Ohh baby I didn’t mean to yell.”

You’re pouting and avoiding his gaze

“That was still really rude and for no reason.”

“Aw c’mon how about we just cuddle and forget about it.”

He tries to wrap his arms around you but you push him away again.

“Nah I’m good.”

You get off the bed and walk out towards the kitchen leaving Atsumu in the room alone.

He can’t help but laugh at how petty you were. He honestly finds your attitude really cute cause he knows it’s very innocent.

He walks out to find you in the kitchen and wraps his arms around your waist.

“Princess dont be mad.”

Silence

He turns you to face him and holds your face to look at him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“You yelled at me Atsumu and for what!!! I was just trying to share my food with you. I never share my food you should consider yourself lucky!!”

You ramble a bit longer and Atsumu is only staring at you with a slight smirk.

“What are you smiling about?”

“You want to kiss me so bad huh.”

THIS MAN IS SO ANNOYING LMAO

That genuinely caught you off guard and made you laugh.

“You’re so annoying.” You roll your eyes playfully

“I love you too. Now stop being a brat and let’s go cuddle.”

“Wait. So do you want a kiss or no??? Because I’m down.”

He lets out a loud laugh. Your goofy ness always made him so happy.

He leans down to give you a warm kiss.

You were honestly mad at him for like 10 mins but the minute he started talking you ignored that cause he was just too sweet.

[banhchao]

Olivia doesn't want you to "get her out of there" she clearly likes it, you'd be able to tell if you weren't such a damn retard

Okie... first of all when we say “Olivia we’ll get you outta there” we don’t mean away from Taehyung, we mean away from his crazy toxic fans that might send her rude things or say terrible insults about her out of jealousy of her being so close in proximity to him (which ppl have started to see on Twitter already). Kpop stans can get petty and cruel as hell towards women they are jealous of so it was said in a way to defend her from them. Also I’m not gonna be a weirdo and ship them cause she is only 18 and he’s what... 26??? That age gap is 😬😬😬.

Second of all, I’m assuming you are referring to these tags:

When I say “yes I know he’s from BTS still” I’m not saying he’s not Asian (I’m fully aware he is... I’m quite literally ASIAN) i say that as a disclaimer as I’m aware some of my followers don’t like BTS and maybe wouldn’t care to see him. So it’s like “I know he’s from BTS and you guys don’t wanna see him but he still provides asian rep”. I personally have no beef with Taehyung and said NOTHING negative in the tags; I thought the interaction was cute and I like seeing Asian artists from the west and east interacting as it really shows the diverse set of asian rep we get to see in the media. A Korean singer from the homeland and a half-Filipina singer from America - it’s a fun interaction to see. That’s ALL I said. Like girl... you are reaching so hard it’s like you WANT me to hate him. Also fuck off??? This is my blog; I didn’t invite you here!!! You barged in, unwanted!!!

Hello iamxueyang (yes I am finally dropping your URL because I know it’s you; you are the only racist and transphobic white girl to constantly drop into my inbox and harass and insult me despite how many times I’ve blocked your anons), you have been nothing but hostile, volatile and rude to me despite me having done NOTHING to you. You have been extremely racist and misogynistic to me, you have treated me like shit and your personal punching bag when I don’t agree with you (despite it being YOU visiting my blog and getting yourself riled up and despite ME having blocked you), you have lied to me to try to prove your points (even going as so far to racefake) and you continue to harass me despite my boundaries having been clearly set that I have no interest interacting with someone racist, transphobic and quite frankly... fucking mean. you called me the r-slur over what... you thinking I was insulting some kpop boy? and insinuating I’m dirty and disgusting and jealous and bitter of what??? Of who??? cause I’m SE Asian and not E Asian? Cause I’m presumably ugly and unloved??? Idk where you find the gall to run ur mouth to strangers on the internet like this just because they don’t agree with you or like the same things you do, despite you not knowing a single THING or EXPERIENCE about me but it’s fucking disgusting and horrible. And the fact you have been harassing me for so long knowing fully well you don’t even LIKE me. It’s as if you thrive off being mean to random people you don’t even know (no this is not a brave and badass move like you may think it is, this is harassment).

I have tried to be nice to you iamxueyang despite having to deal with your racism and misogyny. I have tried to understand you. I know you are young and learning so I tried all I could to answer your questions and be civil. I never even explicitly revealed your URL until now cause i didn’t want ppl coming after you for all of the shitty things you say to me cause again I know you are young. But this time, you have gone too far. You constantly hit me with nothing but these rude and mocking insults and comments, with racism, misogyny, invalidation and treat me like an evil villain. For what?! Am I even a human to you? Do I not have feelings, experiences and emotions? Am I just a worthless, faceless being?!

I don’t know what you want to achieve being a bully to strangers on the internet on behalf of a bunch of asian men you fetishize, iamxueyang but you need to stop harassing strangers, respect boundaries and ... stop being so racist, misogynistic and transphobic?!? LIKE?!?! Idk why your bio says “uwu racists fuck off i don’t like you” when you have been NOTHING but horribly racist and cruel to me! Like ma’am you gotta get that out of your bio cause you are NO ALLY if you are racist to asian women and fetishize asian men! your young age DOES NOT mean you can harass random strangers on the internet nor be a racist, transphobe or misogynist!!! I feel terribly sorry for the other ppl you have probably harassed to death here and maybe even in real life with your bigotry and cruelty!!! if you refuse to respect the boundaries of others (and their human rights for that matter) you need to get off the internet!!! AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! like I rlly don’t understand why you are so obsessed with this blog and yet only view my posts with malicious intent? I hope to GOD you don’t treat ppl irl like this; they deserve so much better than to be poorly treated as I was by you. You cannot have healthy relationships if you constantly refuse to respect people.

I am incredibly tired and frustrated of having to deal with you constantly despite it being clear I want nothing to do with you but even now, I can’t express myself fully because I KNOW you will somehow twist this into me being the “oversensitive, angry, unreasonable, jealous and bitter WOC” if I do.

To my followers, I implore that you do not interact with this user and just block them. Don’t send hate messages of any sort; I don’t condone any sort of hate sent on my behalf and I condemn violent threats of any sort. I have no interest stooping so low to some random teen girl that doesn’t see me as human. And truth be told, I have no desire for this to escalate any further. Also, this person has an extremely strong victim complex and will twist the narrative to make themselves be the victim; please do not give them any sort of ammo. For your mental health and safety, please block and report even. I don’t wish any of you to have to deal with this sorta harassment; you are all far too precious.

[beann-e]

um wow , idk what to say i’m a bit flustered but i hope i say it right. I was only gone for a couple of days and this is what I come back to. 😮 Tysm guys I love you all thank you for taking the time out of your scrolls to even follow me >:’) So, I decided to follow through on my haikyu x police force idea and here it is a sneak peek! I hope you enjoy !

May 1 , 2021

-recording take one

" I am under oath to tell you that everything being said here today will be used to further the investigation against yourself. That being said If you choose to answer a question or provide a statement I will have no choice but to write it down to be processed and turned into someone of higher authority than me is that clear "

" i'd say that's a bit — well stupid to me saying yes when your the highest fish on the food chain no? "

" what else can I say except lucky you that everything you say won't be passed around and relayed much less having your words twisted by those listening "

" cute "

" i'd say same goes to you if you weren't chained up in front of me right now — I might've just asked you out on a date "

" i'm free friday at 10 — though it's in the morning so I pose the question— Would you like to sneak me from my court case baby I promise i’ll make it up to you "

" mm i'll think about it seeing as though i'm the one escorting you to your new cell anyways we might just have to have a uh a talk inside hmm"

" what no balls ? "

" sadly none —or at least physically seeing as though i'm a woman "

" I never would've guessed if it wasn't for the way that suit hugs your curves — your pretty full out huh you must be fun "

" i've gotten that before though people tend to say i’m a bit more fun elsewhere "

" aw you wound me you didn’t tell me I had competition babe “

" of course not your first in line in my eyes, it sucks that the ring on my finger says differently though "

" isn't that sweet I might just have to take you up on your offer "

" oh? didn't think you'd be so excited ,much less interested on being the first one on my list to be put in jail but, I guess i'll try my best to speed your trial up for you if that's what you want "

The rooms silence was heavy as the camera panned the room. Your fingers silently being clawed into the table as it drained all your anger from you.

Your shoe tapping against the floor with a slight grimace appearing on your face when you heard the buttons on the camera in front of you being pressed.

" what no slick comment ? " A heartfelt laugh moved to fill the once silent room as you watched small hands wrap around the camera and fix it to where it showed nothing but your upset face—fingertips slamming down one by one on the table

" don't you have a fucking job to do glasses "

" aw what happened no more flirty y/n ? "

"your an asshole— I don’t know why I expected much in the first place seeing as though you were trained under him "

" such a foul mouth — you do know this is going on your transcripts right ? " the eyes in front of you narrowing on you the voice only coming out in mock care for your situation " you wouldn't want the jury — much less the judge reading this when their deciding your sentence right ? "

Your fingers glided over the table and into a fist in front of you as your head went to look down at the table

" you've grown submissive so fast "

" I find it hard to believe you don't like that kind of thing fucking pervert "

" aw you wound me — but if I had to supply you with an answer to your question— I can imagine your dying to know since you've been flirting with a married woman this whole time "

" married? "

" I know your observant y/n you have to be " the next words making you breathe heavily " I mean the way you noticed your s/o was cheating before they could even notice themselves is just wow"

The click of the door being heard as a deep voice made its way in the room " Kiyoko your not allowed in here "

" I have just as much right to be in here as anyone else — "

" but I could’ve sworn I just said you don't — so again why the hell are you in here ? "

The room turning cold with the woman in front of you straightening herself up not wanting to go back and forth with the male in front of her but, at the same time not wanting to come across as small, being seen as a woman down here was hard much less having your own husband be relatively close to the one in charge " I came down here to test out inmate 4890 psyche"

" did anyone give you that kind of permission? that kind of clearance ? to even get down here in the first place ? "

" I mean their hidden underground so i'd say their the main event down here "

" you can't just come down here to see it whenever you see fit "

" but I was interested in the way it's mind works "

" what the hell am I an attraction at sea world? "

" your whatever the fuck I want you to be " your once strong eyes were met with brown ones that held your gaze almost testing you— daring you.

You seeing the hate swirl with annoyance meeting to radiate off of him. His face made up in a snarl as he finally turned his whole body to you.

Arms crossed across his chest eyes now lazily focused on you causing a chill to move through your spine. Youd never wanted to grow submissive to anyone and you never had not in all your years of living so why were you now?

Kiyokos eyes moving from between you to the male in front of her and back. Her body already telling you she knew something was off by the way you'd just been playful with her until you felt the energy shift by someone elses approach showing how easily your personality could changed.

Something was off and she was interested

" if necessary I can always stay and play mediato— "

" your ok " he smiled widely " we're fine together — down here "

your body shifted in the seat wrists being pulled back and down to the table by the chain in front of you when you heard his claim.

" y/n ' s good with that — their fine ive known them a long time I can speak for them — we’ve done this before countless times this isn't their first crime maybe one of this stature yes but "

" mhmm " the woman in front of you shook her head lightly before leaving the room your heart clenching tightly when you heard the door click closed

" I just wanna do my job and then i'll get out ok y/n " the fake sympathy in his voice shining through as he put down his clipboard on the table before standing behind the chair at the table across from you

" god " his voice was heavy as he spoke " it's like you get hotter and hotter everytime we see each other " his body moving around the small rectangular table " it's such a shame "

Your body tensing when you felt him nearing you only to keep going past you.

Body letting out a breath you didn't even know you were holding only to restore another one when you heard the click of the camera turning off and powering down.

Your eyes darting around the room to watch him out of the corner of them reaching up to turn off the corner camera that showed the police force what was happening in the room

Not that they would care seeing as though he was chief he could do anything he wanted to you and not have to tell anyone in his unit. It didn't help that you were a world renowned criminal now you'd fully fucked this up for yourself

" crazy how your fucked yourself over " his words only confirming the thought in your head " you were only into petty crimes before so I could barely get my hands on you i'd always have to pass you over to everyone else because no one of my status ever needed to intervene — though I would've loved to— just to feel the way your face would drop anytime I entered the room or to even feel the shift in your attitude like I felt earlier— holy fuck is that powerful and now look at you "

He laughed at your body that sat slumped in your chair trying to cover your face with the cuffs on the table " pathetically sitting in a room bawling your eyes out in front of me "

His words only feeling closer now as his breath hit your ear.

Heat from his mouth moving to your neck instantly causing you to scoot away only for him to grab the back of your neck " have you no respect for yourself "

You gritted your teeth together at his hold on you " I said have you no respect for yourself "

You bit at your lip trying to decide what to say you always wanted to spit a comeback at the male but right now was definitely not the time with his heavy hand on your neck moving slowly into your hair to grip tighter

"ah every single time we do this — it's almost even more pathetic than the droplets I keep seeing falling and landing on my perfect fucking table that I bought with company’s money— fuck their gonna cut my paycheck "

His hand tightening as he spoke again " one more time asshole " his voice held all the rudeness to it " have you no respect for yourself "

" y-"

The action was quick as he slammed your head hard into the table in front of you. your vision blurring before he sighed blood dripping from your forehead and leaking out of your nose onto your lips as it trembled slightly

" ugh I hate when this happens with you —- you always bleed so fucking easily " he huffed " I ask you something you answer learn something about respect for once in your life and maybe you'll take better care of yourself "

He scoffed " your so fucking pretty and yet you do things like this — you slut yourself out in my business and then turn around and get arrested god your such a fucking ditz "

your head being brought to meet the table once again as you whimpered tears mixing with your blood brain muddied and shut down by his actions

" i'm so tired — so so tired of sweeping everything you do under the rug— I mean you act like I can’t fucking see you y/n i run the whole fucking thing I don’t— I don’t understand you your just fucking stupid so so so stupid it just blinds me and throws me for a loop sometimes "

His voice was low almost as if he only wanted you to feel the weight of his words " and then you never even say fucking sorry " he pushed your head down again " i'm the fucking cleanup crew ,, the shitty bodyguard when you drag yourself in some mess ,, the contact list when you need a plug ,, the boss when you need a job i'm fucking tired y/n "

" I know I know and i'm— im so sorry really please i'm sorry "

you braced yourself for another push as he backed away the heavy hand leaving your neck as he peered down at your head that was still hovering over the table

" what the fuck do you want another bash ?What are you doing "

" no — no please no”

" then bring your head up — god you seriously take your role on as the youngest dont you " he sighed as he moved his hands to pinch at the bridge of his nose. Your eyes darting to the camera kiyoko left and feeling hope enter your body thinking of how she would see the whole scene that’s played out with the male in front of you

" your not staying here "

" what—what "

" you can't — I dont want you here— i’m outta this your not my responsibility anymore your 19 now so I don’t know what to say except get it to fucking gether — you stay here your never gonna go to jail you'd just stay in a confined room for moths — fuck i’m always getting dragged in this shit "

" how — what do I do — what am I gonna do "

" the hell do you mean ? what am I gonna do ? as if the shits not obvious your gonna do fucking nothing while everyone else does all the work for you again "

your voice grew quiet as he scoffed " that's what I thought god — one day i'm gonna get fired "

your eyes darted to the camera and back down " for what exactly "

his eyebrows creased as he stared at you eyes moving all around your face before he spoke ignoring your question " you got yourself in some real bad shit this time y/n "

" but it wasn't even my fau— "

" you don't say shit — you know it wasn't suppose to go down like that and when one goes down we go down together you swore it— that’s how you got our trust don’t fuck yourself over again or you’ll be down in hell by yourself "

" like what ? "

" don't fuck with me y/n "

he moved to grab his clipboard your body lifting when he walked off and forgot about the camera only to drop the clipboard to the floor with a loud clang and start using his shoe to tear the papers apart

" wh-what are you doing " your voice came out soft as your eyebrows creased

His body moving over to the table and throwing the camera youd just put all your hope into someone seeing what you went through being thrown to the ground and stepped on harshly with the heel of his shoes.

Though it wasn't broken broken it was unsalvageable and couldn't be fixed your eyes going wide unable to process anything before he walked to the door and opened it his hand coming up to cup around his mouth

" THEIR ATTACKING " he screamed your body trembling at the way the table shook along with it " calling all units anyone in the vicinity the inmate I am locked up with is having a tantrum of some kind and I do not think I can handle it alone "

Your heart broke as you watched the male in front of you turn back to look at you holding nothing but hate in his eyes " I ask that you help me remove the inmate and get them out of our station immediately "

Several people running in cleaning up the scene and taking pictures before someone uncuffed you and dragged you towards the tall male by the door.

" Chief where do you want em "

" I want em on the next bus to tokyo "

Your head swirling " wh— "

" everyone exit while I talk to the inmate quickly alerting them of their next adventure " everyone moving silently to follow his demands his eyes going directly to yours as everyone raced down the hallway and away from you two

" your going to tokyo — I can't fucking do this — "

" but what would I do there's no one "

" go see bokutou — at this point you've pissed me off I can't do much else for you just — go ask for a new life really " his voice came out in a short laugh at his ending words

" boku— "

" y/n I said i'm pissed off and done with you — you keep interfering with my job and honestly this murder charge was the last strike for me— your of age now I can’t get you outta this shit— so if you could just get a new identity and get the hell away from me id seriously appreciate it "

" daichi I "

" you don't say anything "

" your my — your my brother we’re suppose to be there for each other and you "

" i'm not your anything as of right now you prick " his voice was sharp and held meaning as he snapped at uou " not your brother — your friend — your back up call when you get into weird shit I — I wanted to be a nice police officer and move my way up to chief I wanted to have kids a — a family y/n " he scoffdd " not a shitty sibling who keeps using my job against me and has me pulling strings that shouldn't even exists "

" but "

" you see how I keep cutting you off it's because I don't want to hear you y/n — you annoy the fuck out of me so seriously " he moved his shoulder to glide through the doorframe and past you "just go do what you criminal assholes do and get a new identity and the fuck away from me as soon as possible I want nothing to do with you "

" sooooo thats how you ended up with me " the air in the new room shifted from confusing to happiness as the dual colored male in front of you screamed " THATS AWESOME YOU HAVE SUCH A BADASS BACK STORY "

He jumped up and covered his face dramatically before he spoke "twas a dark night when y/n changed their ways and gave birth to a criminal — a murdering criminal who came to the one and the only — bokuto koutaro the amazingily cool , strong , funny , king of connections — thus creating a beautiful friendship and a dark and powerful villian story "

He smiled at your beat and battered face youd received from your brother a day ago before he spoke again his hair drooping slightly " too much ? "

[ectora]

Review episode 312

It’s weird because I enjoyed the episode but most of my comments are actually criticism so bare with me 😂

Overall it was a nice episode to watch. The acting was on point especially for Sarah and Poppy imo they carried this episode but also probably cause they’re the one with the most compelling stories on this one. The episode kinda felt like a filler but honestly that’s because the show is focusing too much on the allergy and we know that’s not gonna be fixed til the end so as long as they make that the main story of the sisters, most episodes are gonna feel like fillers when it comes to them. Macy and Maggie had their own little adventure with a ghost which was funny (again kudo to Sarah), Harry and Mel went on a quest for a soul tho we still have no clue what it actually meant and Abigael was going through her own little traumatic hell in the tomb (Poppy really has been particularly slaying this storyline acting wise ).

Screen time

Abigael: 6m11s

Macy: 17m24s

Mel: 11m15s

Maggie: 18m24s

Harry: 11m03s

What I liked

Maggie still got the internship and I’m glad back she deserved it. I really don’t dislike Antonio but I’m also glad they kinda made it clear she wasn’t interested and that she finally made progress with her feelings for Jordan.

Abigael. I liked it because it gave us more insight on Abigael’s past (tho I still think they should have given us this earlier). I always theorised that from her childhood, she was obviously scared from the fact her mom never really accepted her demon side which created her deep feeling of rejection and how she was never accepted and never belonged. But I also thought she had some kind of loving family. Like to me these two things were not necessarily contradictory. Well apparently not. Her mom straight out abused her during her childhood. Which definitely explain why she choose the demon side like that. Both her parents were terrible to them but as she said in the past, at least she can understand demon a little but. She can rationalise it base on their nature. When it came from her mom however, it came fully from a place of dislike which must have been very harmful on a child. So obviously when I say I like it I don’t mean I like what her mom did to her, but I really like the insight and explanation. And again, Poppy did an amazing job. She made Abigael feel so vulnerable and scared, and confirmed that, ultimately what Abigael always wanted was acceptance. Which she first needs to give to herself.

Marisol and Macy sharing a scene. I have my issues with how it went which I’ll come to later. But I’m glad it existed and Mads really showed great emotions.

That was a short list because if I did enjoy the episode and there was some highlights I’ll talk about later, I also can’t really pintpoint things I loved.

What I disliked

Harry’s story. I just really don’t like how they make it all about the relationship when it could be so much deeper than that. I also am not sure I like the length to which he’s ready to go for it. Like the entire soul donation is a bit weird to me.

Marisol and Macy. Listen that one made me angry. Maybe it wouldn’t have if Macy actually had other stuff going on than her relationship with Harry but with the way the show has been writing her mostly around her relationship with Harry, it really didn’t come across well to me. The fact we had for the first time a in present tense scene between Macy and Marisol and all they talked about a man has me fuming. Maybe if they had had a longer time to talk. But they had like two minutes and most of it was about men.

The sisters. I don’t like the fact Mel wasn’t there when they were going to connect with their mom. I feel like that should have been a story kept for all three of them. I’m also annoyed that they once again refused to give us some Mel and Macy. I would have liked to see them a bit. Once again that sisterly bond feels like it’s non existent.

Melby. I cannot believe anyone would actually look at them and think yes that’s good. The treatment is absolutely terrible. The buildup was bad - because it was supposed to last - and the fact it’s all off screen is absolutely terrible. Ruby has been in three episode this season. One of them she didn’t actually share a scene with Ruby. The second episode they were full of drama and jealousy and they were so easily breaking up. And suddenly we jump to the I love yous. And were supposed to find that cute ? Like what are we supposed to think they love about each other? The constant breaking ups ? Cause that’s the most consistent thing about them. It kinda feels cheap in the way it’s done ngl.

What doesn’t make sense

Why was Jordan in the description ? I feel they’re kinda trying to avoid putting Abi’s name in the summaries (or at least it feels like it) but like .... Jordan had not reason to even be talked about. He didn’t appear once. It should have been Abi’s name in there.

The pills falling from the pocket Like ... Harry you had literally one job. How exactly did they fall ??

Why did they seem lost until their realised Jordy was a descendant and they could use his soul. Did I miss something saying it needed to be a male descendant ? Cause like ... Gil (Jil ? Idk) was literally right there. (Nevermind apparently I missed them saying « male descendent » my bad dkdjd

How did abi know she was in the tomb. Like I know my girl is smart but like ... she has basically no contact with the sisters at this point so how on earth did she learn how the tomb works and what happens inside ??

Highlights

The hammer. Listen, don’t ask me why but this picture of abi has been sending me for weeks now and I’ve been wondering the context since I’ve seen it. Like it gives me the biggest dumb bitch energy ever. The fact that abi is a very smart person and just thought a hammer would get her out of the tomb just has me laughing like it’s just too funny to me 😭

“The British hot lady” Swan I understand You

The way Maggie calls for Abi and gets into her apartment. I don’t know why I just love it.

Macy trying to lie to Antonio. Macy’s face when she lies is always a delight.

No but do any of these older generations know what not having an affair even mean? But I mean like father like son I guess.

« Who footnotes a spell » Macy’s face was so funny 😭 she was so done with it.

Theories

Not gonna lie. I’m a bit scare about next episode. I think it might be really interesting but also I’m very scare of the execution especially when it comes to Abigael and Macy. I do believe Macy has valid to distrust Abigael. However the show has been terrible at portraying those. And ultimately, especially lately, the sisters and Abigael have barely crossed paths. They’re barely in each other’s lives. All the do is coexist in the same city and interact when demons are involved which isn’t really the case. So right now all abi is doing is keeping the demons in lines. So I’m scared that Macy’s rightful dislike and distrust is almost gonna come across as pettiness or jealousy. But I also think that there is a difference between not trusting Abigael and say she deserves to be in the tomb. Cause at the end of the day past episode 4 what has she really done so terrible that deserves eternal suffering/delusion or whatever the tomb actually does. She’s manipulative and self serving sure but she also helps more than anything. The sisters have actually nothing to win have having Abigael stuck in there. And more to lose.

One theory is that the perfecti are trying to isolate the sisters. Putting abi and Jordan in the tomb is separating them from their allies and helping Harry to lose his powers is taking their guidance/healer away from them.

Another is just that really just have a very strict black and white vision and Abigael being a demon and Jordan helping them makes them automatically in the black category. Which the title seems to be referring to so it’s probably this.

I think the upcoming episode might be a way to introduce the whole controversy around Macy’s demon powers. And slowly bringing up the story of Abigael giving them back to her.

I think it also might be a way to actually have the show approach the wrongs Abigael did in the show. But also the rights. After all, it seems like they’ll need to prove she doesn’t deserve to be in it. Which I personally don’t think she does. Though she definitely did wrong things in her life. So I think they might actually use this as an occasion to have the sisters talk about what she did do that was wrong. And hopefully also highlight that she did help them on multiple occasions.

With the “previously in charmed” it makes it feel like they’re still going with Maggie not knowing Jordan can actually touch her and this doesn’t stop confusing me. But I can see the show have them hug once he’s out of the tomb and then kinda admit their feelings finally and Jordan say something in the lines that he kept it from her because he didn’t want to put pressure on her or that him being able to touch her didn’t change the fact she wanted to focus on herself or something on those lines.

One thing I want to talk about is Abigael. Please don’t read this paragraph if you haven’t heard about the rumours going around. //// The fact is, there is a very strong change Poppy is leaving the show. And the way they made this episode made it very clear Abigael was abused as a child. But that she is also absolutely craving love and acceptance. And that she does love her mom and always wanted her love. I’m very scared that if they make Abigael leave (better than die) they’d make her go back to her sister and family and try to fix their relationship. Which would absolutely be terrible message to give as we literally know now that she was abused. And making a character go back to their abusers because of the trauma it caused (her fear of rejection and inability to actually accept herself) would just be disgusting. But I’m scared that’s the road they’re gonna take.

[davishater]

WARNING THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS DEPICTIONS OF SELF H4RM, ADDICTION AND OTHER TRIGGERING TOPICS. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED.

I'm Here

(part 1)

"Reki, it hurts!" She'd always tell me.

"I know." I'd always tell her back.

"Please, make the pain go away!"

"I will. I'll make everything go away."

What are you supposed to do when your best girl friend comes to your window one night, soaked by the rain, and tells you she needs you? You start to get strange thoughts, I tell you! The love I have for her and my 17 year old brain isn't helping one bit...

"Hey, what's wrong?"

She just stayed up in my window all silent. The last thing I wanted then was for her to come inside my room, but sometimes, you gotta suck it up for your friends.

"Gah! Fine, come inside. I'll get you a towel."

I start to leave to get a towel, but notice that she doesn't even try to move into my room.

"Dude, you're going to catch a cold. Just come inside already."

I grabbed her arm to try and pull her inside, but I wasn't able to get a good enough grip on her wet arm so my hand slides down her entire forearm, causing her to yelp in pain. That's when I noticed the blood.

"You've been doing it again, haven't you!? You promised me you would stop!"

"Yeah? And what about you, Reki? You promised me you'd stop smoking, but you didn't stop either! Your room reaks of that crap! I wouldn't be surprised if your family could smell it half way down the house!"

"Get off my back! We used to get high together, so you have no right to criticize me!"

"Excuse you!? You started cutting long before I did, so why are you jumping onto my back, first, huh!? You understand the urge, so just leave me alone."

"Leave you alone? How am I supposed to leave you alone when you were the one who came here with a bloody arm? You know what that does to me and then you start criticizing me on my own habits!"

"Gah! You're such a hypocrite!"

"Yeah, right back atchu!"

"Reki dear, is everything ok?" My mom asked worried.

I stayed silent for a second, but then walked to my door and replied somewhat calmly through the closed door:

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for waking you."

"You're fine, Sweetie. Just worried, that's all."

I waited to hear footsteps walk away until I grabbed what I was smoking before and took a long drag while walking back to the window. Of course, she scoffed at me.

"What is Langa going to think if he finds out about this?"

Before answering, I got real close to her face and slowly blew the smoke right into her nostrils.

"He doesn't have to know." I state.

I take another, shorter drag, and this time, blow it away from her.

"You did always become real petty when you got high."

She grabbed the blunt from my hand and took a long drag herself, not even trying to fight off the urge.

"Let me stay the night?"

She looked at me with that same hurt expression she always wore when it was just the two of us.

"Only if I can have you." I reply.

"You always do."

I lean in for a deep kiss and disregard the fact that we both will feel the pain in the morning. We always do this. The consequences are all the same and yet we keep living this same life, never fully changing what we do. We keep cutting and smoking and having sex every chance we get. We'll do anything to feel whole; anything to make the pain go away, even for a second.

(Stay tune for part 2)

(Idk where smoking Reki came from. He literally just said "mOVe!" And I'm like, "No, Sir. This is a wholesome Reki story, where he's living the life of a young single parent still in school. There's no room for you h-" "MOVE!" "😳 Ok, so how would you like to suffer? 👀🗒️✍️")

Masterlist

[t0sshii]

ginhiji hospital au??

I needed to get this off of my brain and I can’t draw or write so here it goes... Ginhiji but Hijikata is a nurse working in a hospital and Gintoki is the new resident who comes off as lazy but is actually a really good doctor (which surprises our boy Toushi)

More thoughts under the cut? (I have more thoughts about hijikata because.... i have more experience there LOL)

I’ve been a working nurse for more than half a year now so I kind of know what I’m talking about? (but not really because i’m definitely still a baby nurse that’s still learning OTL) but really im a baby don’t ask me specifics

I got into Gintama super late and I have so many regrets because it’s taken over my life. 

hijikata working in either medsurg, ICU, or emergency because it’s not slow, needs great time management skills and working under pressure /but i have a bias for medsurg because that’s where i am right now... but i feel like he would definitely be the same kind of intense that some ICU nurses i know are... 

he’s definitely the type to not take a proper break at work... would probably eat saltines from the nutrition room 

reason 1: he’s too busy

reason 2: hates to go on break if he has to leave hella shit for the person covering him (so he give all his meds, clean his patients, give pain meds...make sure they NEVER call the person covering him on break) but that also means when things don’t calm down he feels like there’s never an opening for one

meanwhile he will give meds, clean patients, and do everything for whoever he covers for break 

when this happens kondo sends yamazaki to cover him for breaks because you can’t tell patients to eat their food when you haven’t eaten toushi 

is really good at putting in IVs, nobody on the unit even tries to put them in when he’s working they’ll just ask him to do it for them

a charting superuser lol

his brain... impeccable. a work of art. a pinnacle of organization. made his own because the hospital issued one doesn’t work for him

probably looks something like this

note: allows you do just quickly circle things during shift change instead of writing it all down...i would probably make past medical history section bigger though (do i use a sheet like this? no because i am... organized chaos and writing it down helps ME--but toushi probably wants to take as little time possible writing shit down) 

reads his work e-mail, even the newsletters from the hospital

kondo is nurse manager and is a very supportive one (the potlucks!!! tries his best to make sure everyone feels supported at work ; w ;) hired hijikata..

when hijikata is charge, the work is distributed evenly thank god 

also “it’s an hour until shift change and if this patient doesn’t come up in 10 minutes they’re not coming until after shift change” 

everyone asks him for help because he knows all the hospital policies

what nurse isn’t frustrated with doctors lets be real 

exhibit A: “my patient is in TEARS with 10/10 pain and the doctors have the audacity to ask if THEY TRIED TO DISTRACT THEMSELVES WITH ART?” (this is a literal conversation I’ve had with a resident before) 

hates talking to interns because he ends up having to teach them how to do their job 

hates talking to jaded attendings

only attending he likes is shouyo

used to have long hair in nursing school but cut it after his ponytail got into some shit during a bed bath 

still smokes.. kondo hates it because we’ve all seen what it’s done to our patients and you still smoke?

has tried to quit but never works out

gintoki also gets on his case about it

just imagine hijikata in those black figs joggers scrubs UGH 

in this universe they’re called digs because copyright and this is still gintama we’re talking about

these scrubs are unnecessarily expensive so he didn’t actually buy them himself ( “why the fuck would i buy expensive scrubs if i am going to get literal shit on it”).. if left to his own devices he will wear those ugly ass hospital issued scrubs

Kondo and his other friends split the price for the black joggers and a 3 pocket scrub top -- because we all know hijikata puts ALL his supplies in his pockets. he NEEDS pockets

Gintoki thinks his ass looks good in those joggers UGH 

Hijikata won’t admit it but the digs are his favorite pair they are so comfortable. still won’t buy them with his own money though

student nurses are scared of him because he’s intense and asks hard questions, really strict... doesn’t bully but pushes students and orientees really hard

but also any one who can survive being trained by him becomes an excellent nurse

that nurse that’s on top of their shit and THINKS instead of just following orders

“saw his potassium is high. can we do something about that?”

“there wasn’t continuous oxygen monitoring ordered but i put them on because it doesn’t look good. can we get an order for that” 

all the doctors trust him because he’s just so goOD

gets on gintoki’s case about looking like a bum at the hospital all the time

if he EVER catches wind of doctors talking down to his nurses or older nurses bullying the newer ones (which never really happens because kondo is a great manager who fosters a very nontoxic work culture) they will...FEEL. HIS. WRATH. 

also will not tolerate patients treating him (or his coworkers) like shit. will be more professional dealing with patients tho than with the MDs. but if it’s an MD berating a nurse, they better be ready to get their ass KICKED

Gintoki is the new resident along with katsura and takasugi in.... internal medicine? surgery? idk? 

i mostly just wanted write this one: hijikata has a patient in a pain crisis 10/10 pain, given all available pain meds, tried everything possible but still no relief. paged the new resident working with this patient 

hijikata fully expects either a call saying “sorry i can’t order any more pain medicine for this patient” or just another IV medicine ordered with no communication at all 

but gintoki comes into the patient’s room (first thing hijikata notices is unprofessional hair, wrinkled jacket, mismatching socks and thinks this doctor is going to be lazy AF), speaks to the patient with great bedside manner, talks to the patient about pain management strategies and WORKS WITH THEM for a better plan for medication. walks with the patient in the hall and even takes them to the bathroom 

hijikata is FLOORED. because this never happens with MDs.

(this has actually happened and me and all my coworkers were SO PLEASANTLY SURPRISED)

hijikata once sent gintoki a message asking if he wanted to lower the dose for a medication because the lab for it was high 

gintoki thought he was the pharmacist because hijikata is just that good

likes the sound of hijikata’s voice on the phone so he always returns his pages even if it’s just to say “ok i’ll put the order in” 

secretly gets excited when he sees hijikata’s name on the chart under the care team 

one because he’s hot

two because he’s a good nurse

actually learns a lot from hijikata

gets to know hijikata’s bad break habits and gives him a coffee whenever he notices he’s working (but is absolutely disgusted when he brings out the mayonnaise)

“how can you tell your patients to be healthy when you put that shit in everything you eat?” 

hijikata counters with “you can’t tell me what to eat when you’re on your way to diabetes asshole” 

tries to be the kind of MD shouyo is 

being in healthcare is hard so the two of them do drink together if their days off line up to vent....

hijikata complains about dumb MDs (gintoki makes mental notes on how to not be an annoying MD), how busy his days are, and why are we always understaffed... how can we run out of IVs? 

gintoki complains about all the calls he gets, how stressful residency is, why are rounds so early, that midget takasugi, the long ass working hours, being on call fuckin sucks

both bond over sharing crazy stories about patients or how their day went....also hospital complaints because what healthcare worker doesn’t complain about their hospital 

get into “who’s job is more stressful” arguments a lot

on particularly hard (emotionally, physically, mentally) days the other would show up with a bag of food and drinks? 

when the two start dating, it’s usually just... hanging out at work? 

if somehow by some miracle, they get their breaks together (if at all) they eat together

if they do have days off together they usually spend it sleeping (literally you guys) or relaxing at one of their apartments

sleep deprived healthcare workers lead to many....petty...arguments but they make up by the end 

it’s late and i have more thoughts? but i have work tomorrow. but i needed to get this OUT OF MY BRAIN.

also feel free to message me about any of this!! :) asks are always open hehe

[mochuelovelli]

Lilith for the character ask?

Oh boy, a controversial character! Gotta say, I stan James Charles /J

How do I feel about this character?:

On a real note, I do like Lilith as a character. When we first meet her, she's pompous and proud. Oozing with entitlement, she's easy to route against and you like to see her get worked up and "brought down" to Eda's level as the wild which so eloquently put it. Later on, but not too much later that it feels disingenuous, we really get to see her show that she cares for her sister. One might believe it is *Eda* being ridiculous, as far as the audience is aware, Lilith's offer holds little downsides. Eda would be cured and be afforded the luxuries of the upper class AND keep her magic. All she had to do was be the Emperor's soldier.

As to not get off track by talking about Eda, (im sure Lilith herself would loathe that lol) Lilith's reveal to have cursed her sister over a spot in the emperor's coven was...controversial to say the least. I don't think it's unpopular to voice that, yeah. It could've been communicated better to the audience since I saw plenty of commentators and regular fans themselves either thought Lilith cursing her sister was *needlessly* petty and not at all thought out (which yeah it kinda was).

From where I stand on that issue is, yeah, Lilith's whole reason to curse her sister could've been avoided by just talking to her sister and asking her to let her have this. BUT, I think a lot of people forget that the Emperor's coven would want to limit the number of powerful witches in their coven. Sure, Belos would want to be protected by a bunch of loyal soldiers, but he wouldn't want too much of the population to ever have a much power as him. So limiting the number of members in not just his coven but possible in the other major covens, would aid in controlling that population.

This might be pure hogwash but like, there are a ton of other "lesser" covens. So in my mind, it's more likely that the general population of witches gets sorted into one of the various miscellaneous. If you think limiting yourself to only practicing Illusion magic sucks, imagine only practicing whatever the fuck the "swag coven" does.

Lol gonna add a page break this shit is getting too long

Romantic Ships for this character?:

Hm, it's only s1 and we haven't seen her interact w/ many characters outside of her fam/Belos/actual children. I kinda jokingly ship here with Steve lol. Kikimora and her also have a funny dynamic but in all actuality, I don't ship her w/ anyone rn.

Non-Romantic Ships for this character?:

Her and Hooty lol. I mean Eda is an obvious answer but like, Hooty fucking with Lilith is too funny to not want to see. Her and King would be great too, probably get some good B plots out of it. It would be a good contrast since they both can be petty but in different ways and I think that would help flesh out their characters a bit more and maybe cause some introspection (at least on Lilith’s end lol)

Unpopular opinion about this character?:

Lol. I feel like she is such a divisive character in general that most opinions about her aren’t too out of the main stream. I guess a more meta take is that when she’s portrayed in fanworks, usually fanfic but not exclusively, very...one note lol. She’s usually a pretty flat, boring character in an attempt to highlight the contrast between her and Eda. She’s the straight-laced, “responsible” sibling who has a chip on her shoulder. In fanon, that equates to her characterization to either be like, completely and utterly apologetic to the point where it becomes unbelievable for any person to do. Her apologizing or making amends is usually quickly forgiven by Luz/and or Eda. Sure, Luz is very forgiving person naturally but like?? She’s wasn’t mad in canon too much about THEIR well being (almost getting impaled), she was specifically pissed about Lilith betraying Eda. 

So, if Lilith is a big part of your story (and it’s working in the realm of canon), then this should be a problem which doesn’t get resolved by just ONE big action. I also feel like her being on better terms with Eda would come BEFORE Luz since Eda’s main gripe with her would be about her being annoyed by Lilith’s controlling nature and the fact that she didn’t trust her enough to talk about her feelings back when she was first cursed (also her using Luz against her but I feel like that would probably be a hurdle that wouldn’t really be over come until Lilith in turn would be willing to sacrifice herself for Luz while also making an effort to care for Luz as a person not just see her as a “pet”). Hhhh this section is so long and its kinda bleeding over in the next question so-

Something I wish will happen or would have wanted to happen in canon?:

yall if you are still reading I am so sorry sksk

I want Lilith in general, not to be forgiven by either Luz or Eda. Eda probably early on stating about how she is unsure if she could EVER forgive her sister for what she has done. BUT, critically, Eda would see that Lilith is trying and she is willing to work with her (with a unhelpful dose of teasing) because at the end of the day she still loves her sister. For the relationship they had before everything with south, for knowing her side of the story even though she believes it doesn’t justify her actions. She understands and sympathizes, she’s grown a bit softer thanks to Luz, which is very funny since I want Luz to be the one who is the hardest to convince Lilith actually had a change of heart but more on that later. 

Before I move on to what I want her path towards forgiveness with Luz looks like, I want to bring up a parallel that I haven’t seen many people make. Fans always talk about the parallel between the Clawthornes and Luz/Amity, and rightly so because there is a lot to extrapolate there, but I think another interesting dynamic that might be interesting to see in s2 would be an episode that focuses on lost friendship/sisterhood with the Clawthornes and Amity and Willow. It’s kinda funny that Amity and Willow’s friendship was ruined because Willow was too “weak” while Eda was too “powerful”. In a potential episode, it can show the progression both Eda/Lilith and Willow/Amity are making in rekindling their relationship with each other. For Eda and Lilith this would be a lot more rough around the edges since it both be either the first or one of the first attempts at doing so while Willow/Amity would maybe be further along yet still have some major/minor hang ups with one another. With Willow/Amity, their relationship would either be rounding the bend of fully moving past the “idk how to feel about you stage” or it is stated outright that Willow forgives Amity, (and by forgive, I mean in the “we both know what you did, you’ve actually changed. we won’t have the same relationship that we once had but I’m okay with trying again”). In contrast, Lilith and Eda would reach a understanding and come up with some ground rules on how to handle each other (Eda’s main take away from this “episode” would be what I previously stated in the last question), ones that will be more like guidelines cuz its Eda lol. Also what separates the Clawthornes conflict from the Willow/Amity one (besides the obvious) is that the Clawthornes both know how the other works. Which buttons to push and all that so both of them are going to have to learn to resist doing that, at least a bit, in order to actually progress. 

ANYWAYS, I also want Luz to be the one to regard Lilith the coldest. Luz refusing to let Lilith teach her anything despite probably having more practical/book smarts knowledge on magic theory than Eda because she doesn’t trust her. If they are gonna use that masked dude as a spy, I want Luz to assume Lilith is somehow a coconspirator. This plot thread doesn’t have to be going at 100% the whole time, (in fact I would want it to be a temp thing maybe lasting a couple eps at most or like, just something that is hinted at but not dived deeply until the second half of the season). Really, Lilith has a hard time because Luz straight up doesn’t give her the opportunity to really express her regret/remorse. Lilith probably won’t at first give her a ton of reasons to forgive her as she usually attempts at coming back at Luz’s snide remarks with her own quippy comebacks. Sksk a really angsty end to an attempt could include Lilith saying something to Luz after going on a small talk with her (where yeah Lilith has improved but still needs noticeable work) that she “reminds her a lot of Eda” and Luz bites back with something like “Oh yeah? You going to curse me too? You want another person you can force to do what YOU want?”. 

Hell maybe “parental problems” could have Lilith poke at, either on purpose or accidentally, Luz’s feelings about going back to the human world and Camila. Lilith reminding her, maybe unknowingly, reminds her a lot of her mom and that causes her to blow up on her. Luz would hate that comparison, thinking about how similar her mom and Lilith are to one another. That because she still has such a strong dislike of Lilith, it bleeds over into how Luz views Camila and vice versa. In that, both Camila and Lilith value respect, an adherence to the rules, have a great sense of wisdom (arguably for Lilith lol /hj), and (eventually for Lilith once she gets to know Luz better) a genuine want for Luz to succeed and belief in her even though they are critical of her actions at times. Sure Eda reminds her of that more, motherly protective kind of love, in which she would do anything for her to be happy and healthy. Lilith can be the other side of that, the worry and slight doubt. That familiar way they each go about trying to understand and get close to Luz yet not quite getting it yet would still do whatever she’d ask for her sake. Luz at first would take Lilith being disappointed in her actions as an accomplishment. As they grow closer and the more Lilith reminds her of her mom, it becomes scary. The disappointment hurts and in an effort not to feel like that again and to not want to think about the comparison between Lilith and her mother she will snap back at her. Eventually Lilith would then have to change again and reassure her that she cares and by extent, her mother cares to. It is here Lilith is willing to let go of being so constantly controlling and learns to encourage first (or do some form of the compliment sandwich) and Luz comes to peace with her feelings about her mother and understands her position better. To be able to love herself even if she knows that she will always try to do her best. 

oh my fucking god you made it im so sorry i guess i had a lot of thoughts. fffffff

[endearingsalt]

I’m rewatching Journey to Babel and I have a *lot* of feelings

and i also have pumpkin liqueur with ice cream and you should too

i have BIG feelings about the very first shot of sarek being one where spock and bones are in the foreground as spock tries to teach bones the ta’al and the two are doing their banter as normal. like sarek boards the enterprise probably knowing spock would be there, and there’s huge fanfare, all eyes on him, except for one person, and that person is his son, who’s too busy talking to his friend to fuckn bother looking up for him 

what kind of an asshole do you have to be to not return the ta’al, at all, ever, much less to your own child, like i don’t even fuckn care that they’ve been estranged for 18 years, what the fuck @ Sarek 

and jim and bones agree with me. they have that quick exchange as the tension grows and sarek looks away, and i’m RIGHT there with them because they KNOW what a big deal this shit is and right out of the gate for seemingly no reason this guy’s just gonna insult spock like that 

we see bones think about trying the ta’al for all of one second and then my boi puts his hand back down and i’m like good, he doesn’t deserve your well-wishes 

and when amanda comes up?? when sarek presents her to jim??? she brushes past spock without so much as a glance. i hate them both so much 

now. we all love to laugh about jim asking if spock wants to beam down to visit his parents and then having to get told that “.....these.....ARE my parents....” but i’d also like to point out that jim’s original plan was to have spock show sarek and amanda around, likely because of a mix of being the first officer + being a vulcan. when sarek asks for someone else, jim and bones make eye contact again, and this one is more steely than the last. they were surprised and annoyed at the unreturned ta’al, but they’re both straight-up pissed now, and they don’t even know the tea yet. i would like to suggest jim goes out of his way to point out that spock is both well-regarded and a fellow vulcan, all while also trying to give him an out for a few hours, since none of them are happy about being around this many politicians anyway, and there’s clearly something Up with these two specifically. idk i really like that the timing and tone indicates jim specifically chose to offer that to spock because of what had just happened. of course it really blows up in his face, but, well, how could he have known considering none of these people chose to fuckn tell him

on that note, damn, we all talk about this one, but what the hell was spock’s plan huh? did he think jim knew, somehow? did he think he’d have a chance to explain later on? did he think he could get away with no one ever finding out? was his sole purpose truly just to sow chaos? did he try to find some way to explain all this beforehand and just kept falling short until the deadline was upon him and he just went in blind hoping for the best? not very logical in any case but wow is it a mood 

the first. and i mean THE FIRST FUCKING THING amanda says to spock is “after all these years among humans, you still haven’t learned to smile” okay lemme just break down all the ways i’m in a damn rage over this 

FIRST OF ALL, when they + jim arrive in engineering where spock is, he doesn’t seem to have been aware they were coming, and his back was to the door at the time, which means they effectively snuck up on him. he gets up, turns around, and settles into parade rest, as he do. he doesn’t acknowledge them beyond that, and jim continues the tour past him, graciously attempting to end the brief and unexpected encounter smoothly. need i remind us all that both sarek and amanda actively chose to not acknowledge spock before this; indeed, sarek actively insulted him twice, and amanda settled on simply acting like she’d never seen him before in her life. they set the tone here. his reaction in this scene is simply falling in step with what they had set, and is actually on the polite end of that. 

amanda breaks this no-contact with an immediate insult both to spock as an individual and to his vulcan side, which she knows spock highly values. furthermore, her exact words are something many of us have repeatedly heard. they are invalidating words that seek to shame a person for not presenting what they have deemed the correct emotion at the correct time. they’re invalidating enough when used on a person who is actively happy and just doesn’t show it in the way some are used to seeing it, but that isn’t what’s happening here. no, here amanda knows exactly what she and sarek have done to alienate spock just in the last 5 minutes, let alone the last 18 years. she knows precisely why he would be on edge here, and seek to avoid another encounter. she’s fully aware of his discomfort, and chooses to make her first words to him scolding ones. 

his response is measured, and scans as normal, but there’s tension in his tone, as there rightfully should be under the circumstances. and yet her next words are scolding him for not visiting her, despite the fact that he and sarek are estranged and she knows that, despite the fact that she’s given him not a single fuckn reason to do so in both scenes she’s been in so far. 

can we talk about “my wife, attend” and “mr spock, a moment if you please” and the fact that the parallel is completely obvious and jim is really clearly doing it so that spock can show off after it became clear that just walking past wasn’t gonna be an option (thanks, amanda). that ALSO immediately blows up in his face, but dammit, he’s trying. i feel for jim here honestly. he keeps trying to help spock out and at every turn he accidentally does the worst possible thing. anyways spock takes off, thankfully, and i sure hope the man gets to go have a solid meditation time before the dinner later, because Lord knows he’ll need it 

so then sarek, that little sniveling bitch, bows out on the rest of the tour. because “offense is a human emotion,” but pettiness is SURE vulcan. the humans are now alone. important to note that jim did not hear what amanda and spock just said to each other. all he saw was that the second amanda had an opportunity to speak to spock without sarek hearing them, she took it. he therefore likely thinks (correctly, to a degree) that he and amanda are on better terms. he’s also more comfortable with her because she’s human. so the first thing he says, after finally letting himself actually show some of the massive discomfort he’s been feeling this whole time, is “i don’t understand him,” meaning sarek. he’s hoping to gauge amanda and get some insight on what the HELL is wrong with sarek. and he and amanda hit it off! amanda is charming! they’re cute together! meet the mother-in-law is going well, and based off the way amanda says “he is a vulcan; i’m his wife,” it seems pretty clear that amanda is woke to The Premise from the get-go. meet the son-in-law is going well. jim then tackles the big question. the father/son estrangement. 

“spock is my best officer. and my friend” says jim immediately, because amanda’s response indicates the sarek isn’t wrong for the way he just treated spock, and wow is jim not gonna stand for that for a second. we love to see it. 

amanda is wearing this “concerned mother” expression as she talks about how it’s “hard” for spock to be split between humans and vulcans, as if she ever actually understood any of that when she so clearly doesn’t. 

let me. let me get this straight. let me just. let me really just. get this hammered in here. “it’s logical,” says amanda, for sarek and spock to have not spoken as father and son for 18 years, because spock chose starfleet, and sarek had wanted him to carry on the family tradition at the VSA. sarek is so fucking upset that spock chose a different career than the one he wanted him to have that he cut contact for nearly 20 years, and, amanda says, “it’s logical.” “it’s the vulcan way.” “it’s a better way than ours, but it isn’t easy.” what about this is the vulcan way? what the fuck? what the FUCK. 

anyways. stubbornness. a human trait. that grin. yeah, these two are tight now, as shitty as amanda may be. 

this post is about spock’s family life so i won’t rant about the colored marshmallow wine. 

jim: *kicks back a shot as he has to listen to sarek speak words*. what a mood 

bones: now’s my time to shine. my time to learn all the dirt on spock. 

spock: no, please, no 

amanda: now is my time to shine. my time to sow chaos 

this is it. this is why spock tried to not let bones know who sarek and amanda were. this was it all along

“you embarrassed spock this evening” says sarek, to amanda, when they are alone. “not even a mother may do that. he is a vulcan.” i’m gonna cut a bitch, i swear, this guy, this guy thinks telling your son’s friends about a childhood pet is worse than not returning the ta’al, what the fuck. don’t act so fucking high and mighty sarek. don’t even start with me. 

TO AMANDA’S CREDIT, she needles sarek about how he actually is proud of spock and just doesn’t want to admit he’s been wrong for the last 18 years. 

their marriage is cute i’ll give them that 

“threats are illogical and payment is usually expensive” IS a baller line, even though it comes from sarek. see this is the thing, sarek and amanda both have redeeming qualities. i can’t quite manage to hate either of them completely. which is what makes this episode so good. 

mm. i really like how bones just like, really tries to avoid outing sarek as a suspect, and just looks to spock instead. we love to see it. 

“sorry, it couldn’t have been me, i was busy having a heart attack”

“sorry, can’t argue, am having a heart attack now”

the vulcan way is to time heart attacks to the most dramatic times possible

spock: jim, please, please stop trying to make me feel feelings about my father. i am NOT prepared for that shit right now, for the love of surak. 

also, this episode said “uhura is a vital member of this team” and we love to see it

someone get amanda a damn chair, her husband’s in the middle of dying 

spock: wow. i was dreading this trip but i did not anticipate having to deal with the fact that i still care about my shitty father 

OOOOOOOOKKKKAAAAYYYY. when spock puts together the plan to use the drug on himself and then give the necessary blood to sarek, amanda is the one to explicitly put it together. when spock says yeah, still under the “emotions? none here, all i have is Logic,” we cut back to amanda, who goes through several emotions in the close-up. she knows. she knows spock’s quick willingness to take the risk is stemming from care for sarek, despite the fact that he’s been an extremely shitty father. she also looks maybe a little guilty. and i hope she feels that way. some guilt would do her good. 

this whole episode really sucks for bones. he’s just trying to be a decent medical practitioner and no one is respecting that. 

oh here’s kirk’s ass

gosh this fight scene is fucking outta nowhere. i fucking love this show. it’s weird as hell. what the HELL is this fighting technique. and passing like that? i’m losing my mind what the hell 

THAT SAID this episode REALLY sucks for spock. homeboy’s already going through some massive shit and then jim gets critically injured. we hate to see it 

oh no. oh shit. here it comes. the worst scene. the scene that makes me want to throw things at the screen. here we go 

FUCK YOU, AMANDA. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU, AMANDA. FUCK. YOU. 

this isn’t even a vulcan-based decision. This is the kind of decision a human in the same situation would also have to make. spock CANNOT hand over command right now. there are dozens of delegates on board. the captain has been critically injured. there is an extremely dangerous, unidentified ship just outside. there is so obviously a scheme at work. there is immediate danger to hundreds of individuals, and as first officer, he has a duty to the ship. he literally says all this. he literally says that he would do it if he could without abandoning everyone else. this decision is logical, but it is not devoid of emotion. he states that clearly. but does amanda listen? no. she doesn’t. her ears are closed in this conversation. she only has one goal here: shame spock into obedience. and when he refuses to yield, she gets aggressive. 

i get it, okay. i do. this situation is awful for her. she’s stressed to the max. she has an outburst, a mistake. but what she does isn’t acceptable. it’s awful, it’s horrible, i hate her for it so much. 

i have more i could say on this subject, but this post is about the whole episode, not just this scene. 

“we cannot disregard that philosophy for personal gain, no matter how important that gain might be.” your 1 is showing mr spock. also i love you. i’d ask you to marry me but you’re already married 

oh, i hate her. OH, i hate her. 

the gaslighting, folks!! the shaming!!!! the emotional manipulation!! i hate it!! i hate it so much!!!! OHHHHHHH MY GOSH I HATE THIS 

oh wow i’m gonna have to make a second post just about this scene later. i can’t type it all now. i don’t have time and also i’ve get too emotional 

spock can’t even talk it out with jim because jim’s busy being near death in the same damn room as his father, and he can’t go to bones because bones is busy trying to keep them both from dying, and he can’t go to uhura because uhura is busy tracking the threat.........ohhhhh i hate this so much 

the hand he puts up against the door that will ultimately mirror wrath of khan, only this door isn’t clear, and the gesture isn’t returned....... i hate this so much 

jim, finding out about all the shit that’s gone down while he’s been unconscious: can’t damn a man for his loyalty. YES JIM YES. this is what we love to see. everyone else sees spock’s actions so far as disloyal to his father. only jim has seen them as acutely loyal, to starfleet. AND he’s willing to put himself in danger to let spock off the hook. 

spock, looking from jim to bones back to jim: mm. i sense bullshit. and you know what? plausible deniability. yeah sure i’ll go save my father’s life. 

I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT, that the plan jim made upon waking up assumed spock was overly cautious in thinking scotty shouldn’t be put in command. he intended to let scotty take over as soon as spock was gone. then. after a mere few seconds on the bridge, he changes his plans. spock had been right. spock was RIGHT to stay in command. VINDICATION.

okay i don’t even think amanda should be in the room right now but she should CERTAINLY have a damn chair

spock, in the middle of an operation: okay WAIT actually i just figured it ou- *is sedated* this is just like hermione getting petrified 

wow this episode really sucks for bones. the poor man’s doing surgery on vulcans in the middle of a space battle. 

jim, immediately: is spock okay. don’t give me this bullshit is hE OKAY YES OR NO

the end scene is sweet. EXCEPT FOR SAREK BEING A BITCH, AS HE FUCKN DOES. “one does not thank logic” fuck you man

“Logic, logic, FUCK your logic” - let amanda say fuck edition 

we do like to see sarek finally speaking to spock of his own free will, but he’s still an asshole 

okay this bit with the triumvirate. very cute. a nice ending. we need some release after that damn episode. 

i can’t believe i made it to the end. i started at 8:15 and it’s 10 now. 

[dreamsafterhours]

college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: II (mark’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff, some angst pairing: platonic!donghyuk+my/n, surprise visit from mark format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college best friend warning: a lil swearing (best get used to it)

masterlist

or click here to continue your friendship with eng lit!mark!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

II: relationship consolidation.. it’s platonic i swear

the fellowship continues (donghyuk + my/n)

hello again

are we ready

ever-ready i’m going whether u r or not lol idc you’re COMING

aight so ;;, donghyuk,

this boi,,

to meet someone new who he sees as almost a personal challenge,, to befriend and get to That Point™ in the friendship where you can talk about anything and everything without judging each other

he doesn’t have many friends that he can do that with tbh,, , he does have a lot of friends and people he knows and has conversed with but not a lot of friends he can crack jokes with and know they don’t take it personally

lots of dark humour and sometimes suggestive ones and political jokes and all that shit ,, intellectual puns and suicidal jokes,,, the lot

the basics for gen z humour right

he just wants someone to talk to and explore different concepts and abstract meanings and philosophical questions and get new perspectives on things he’d never thought about before

but also be able to say “ah fuck me upside down” without it actually affecting the relationship bc you’re just that close

sometimes it’s hard to have that relationship with the predominantly straight boys he surrounds himself with a lot of the time

and he’s always wondered what it’d be like to have a female friend like that and unfortunately he hasn’t befriended anyone and gotten to that point yet that he can ask genuine questions for the female point of view on certain topics

so meeting you,, and finding out you’re going for the same faculty after your undergrad course ,,,. then you being genuinely comfortable with him and his jokes and openly willing to accept his humour

he’s like /exclamation point appears above his head/

will this be The One™

so he lowkey ,, unintentionally,, in the process of getting to know you

develops a smol crush on you

it’s unintentional but he can’t help the fact that he falls in love really quickly but is also capable of getting over people fairly quickly if they don’t reciprocate his feelings and seems to be okay with that

but who can blame him for liking you??

you’re really damn cute

and genuinely good company

when he hinted that you could get married and have children in the future,,

his thought process was that ahaha i’m kidding.. unless?

so yes he was flirting but like ,, experimental flirting

and over the next couple of weeks he continues flirting with you

random lines like

“hey you look familiar, have i taken a class with you before?” he literally said this on the second day of classes with you

you honestly thought he was being genuine and actually didn’t remember you so you were like wait what ??? you literally walked me to my next class yesterday../? how? do you forget that??

and then he pulls a

“really? i swear we had chemistry” hand stroking his invisible beard

and then laughing at your reaction when you deadpan

“it was biology, donghyuk”

and sometimes u keep having that thought that u had in the middle of ur first lecture together, how he’s probably like this with everyone and he can easily befriend anyone else he’s probably gonna end up being those people that you know vaguely

but then you realise he’s been waiting in the same spot outside the lecture theatre every morning and afternoon, leaning on the wall, and looking up occasionally

smiling when he finds you in the crowd, picking up his bag from the floor and making his way over to you to walk into the lecture together

and you decide hm? he sticks around, i’ll stick around

on a separate occasion in some study session he’s like

“are you my appendix because i have no idea how you work, but the feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out”

and you’re like “wow looks like you went ahead in the course donghyuk we don’t have human anatomy until next year. but how’s tmr at 7”

“perfect i’ll pick you up wear something nice”

hold

and then he bURSTS OUT LAUGHING and HOLLERING and yelling about how that was a good one tho right

you’re both in this sort of grey area where neither of you know where this is going

the reason he’s been saying all these things is to see what you were comfortable with in conversation and trying to analyse from your reaction whether or not you were actually flirting back or not

he’s ranted to mark in his dorms about it a couple times ,,

and so have you with your roommate

you return to your dorm after a day of doing a lot of back and forth semi flirting with donghyuk and you collapse onto your bed

your roommate looks over from her desk like “u good bro”

"i’m confused”

“fair enough”

“seriously idk if this kid is actually flirting with me or whether he’s practising on me or what”

“is this the donghek boi”

“yeah donghyuk” aka your future s/o yEET

you sit up and look at her

“uk what he said to me today”

she turns in her chair to face you fully,, ready for the tea

so you tell her the pickup line he came up with that day & your response to it and then his reaction to that bc he always seems to go for it but then tap out afterwards when you actually respond

and now you’re thinking,, do you really like him as more than a friend ??

and its???

so ?confusing to you

if you can’t tell if you like him for sure then you probably don’t, romantically

but then what effect are your responses having on him

what he actually does like you and all those flirty comments are genuine??? and you’re /internal gASP moment/

what if you’re leading him on?? what if it’s always gonna be him initiating the flirting but you’re accepting it with insincerity?

you decide this goes entirely against your morals

and you tell this to your roommate and she goes hmm,,

if you don’t feel committed to the idea of that,, then you don’t have to feel obligated to keep it going,, be honest with him ,, draw lines if you have to .. yes leading people on is a bad thing and it’s gonna affect the friendship

but also maybe it really is just part of the humour and that’s the friendship dynamic he wants to build with you?

so you decide to sleep on it bc it’s 1am and significant choices should not be made when drowsy and you’ve lost a lot of sleep these past couple days anyway

not that you get good sleep that night anyways

meanwhile donghyuk is shrugging @ mark like

“idk bro do i like her?? or do i like the idea of having someone to say that to”

“and yes she returns the gestures but then also i don’t think she means it? do we just keep it at that and keep being friends like WHAT IF I CATCH FEELINGS”

and mark is just staring at him like dude idk don’t ask me

“you’re so bad at giving advice mark”

but you wake up the next morning and decide to have a serious conversation with him after class bc that day you have a free hour after your lecture

it’s all you can think about during the class so you’re kinda distracted plus the partial sleep deprivation is getting to you

and he notices so he’s like

“bro u alright?”

so you just think fuck it and go

“hey real talk tho”

“ya”

“maybe i’ve been overanalysing this so,, tell me if i am but”

“sure”

“do you ,,, actually mean all those pickup lines ,, like are they based off, , real feelings or is this just part of the friendship dynamic”

and you’re almost surprised when he gets serious with you

he’s always been so lighthearted and sarcastic about things

but when he listens to your side of things and how you’re worried about whether or not you’ve been leading him on or something

he lets you finish and just tells you his feelings as well

“i’ve always wondered what it’d be like to have that dynamic and i guess i tried it on you without being honest ,, half to see if you would flirt back and half to just joke around ,;; i’m sorry that you got confused but i guess this means you don’t have? romantic feelings?”

so you have to reply honestly

“not necessarily ,, it’s been fun to have these conversations and laugh at pickup lines but”

“nothing behind it right”

“..yeah”

and instead of putting a damper on the atmosphere

it’s actually

refreshing

it clears the air in a way you didn’t expect

“right? nah it’s fun what we have going”

and you agree

aside from the confusion behind the flirting it’s been really fun talking to him and getting to know him

half of him was a lil disappointed that it didn’t go the romantic path but then again he wasn’t sure he had romantic feelings anyway

so he settles for

The Best Friend™

and so the friendship turns into sibling-like teasing and petty arguing from that day onwards

legit you’ll catch him staring

“what” “wHat” “what u lookin at” “whAt U loOkIn At” “stop copying me” “sToP CoPYinG mE” /you slap his arm/ “oW”

whimpers a lil clutching his arm uwu babie

“you hit harder than the bass drop”

sending each other bio memes and yelling at each other to go commit lysis

“lysosomes can take you out because you’re TRASH”

“i would send a macrophage after you you PATHOGEN”

calling him a parasite when he asks u for notes that he missed in class but it happens vice versa anyways lmfao

then one morning lab class he forgets his pencil case in his dorm like he forgot his laptop on the first day

except this time you call him a forgetful dumbass

all while offering a pencil from your own pencil case

which he takes

so he calls his roommate who “has a noon class and is probs still sleeping lol” to ask him if he can bring it down for him bc he’s got more lab classes that day

so after the class you wait outside the building for his roommate to arrive

and when he does he gives you a rlly nice smile and says “ʰᶦ”

“oh hello”

“yes this is my adoptive younger sister and my/n this is my roommate the Elder”

“ah you’re overreacting” the roommate turns to you and u ,, gotta admit ,

he’s really cute ,,, “don’t listen to anything donghyuk says, all he does is lie”

“hEY i am a SINCERE MEMBER OF CIVILISATION”

the roommate points to donghyuk again and goes “see he’s even lying about being civil”

so you laugh and gang up on donghyuk like “oh i saw through him a long time ago”

“wow he even lied about how” /puts up air quotes/ “ugly you AREN’T”

“wHAT”

“HE SAID IT NOT ME”

donghyuk is flabbergasted at this point

“wHEN DID I SAY THAT MY/N WAS UGLY”

“WANNA TELL ME THAT YOURSELF MR LEE DONGHYUK HUH”

which results in a sulky hyuk and you two laughing at his reaction of being Wronged™

he regrets letting u two meet in that moment

oh but we don’t

“ok u did ur mission. u can go now”

“so mean :((”

but donghyuk’s roomie waves at you while turning to leave and you wave back ,,

trying to calm yourself bc you’re highkey feeling kinda hot ur cheeks r burning up

he said ?? donghyuk was lying when he said u were ugly?

damn

donghyuk’s pickup lines had never been direct compliments about you

but this one from his roommate wasn’t a pickup line it was just

a statement

and it made u feel a typa way

dw baby it’s gonna be a happy ending uwu

and u tell ur roomie that night abt it too

“bRO his rOOMMATE”

“what’s his NAME i gotta FANGIRL WITH YOU”

“.. idk”

“.. oh”

/short pause, lip smack/

“.. lib tomorrow?”

“.. ya sure”

the next day after classes you check your phone and see that she’s texted you asking if her friend and his friend from eng lit can come and join you guys in the lib

and, naturally, u don’t see why not

so u reply

“the more the merrier”

the more the merrier for us too sweetie hmm hmm

eeeeeeéeeeeeèeeeeee

mhm mhm mhm it’s finally getting somewhere

click here to continue your friendship with eng lit!mark!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

[devourer--of--books]

Remember that one time I wrote a Tangled AU?

Context

During 2016, I submitted a few stories for Tagatha Ship Week. Not my best work, but some of my most known works nonetheless. Amongst those, I had a Tangled AU that was originally meant to be a one shot (which has been deleted because sweet lord that was bad), then turned into a draft for a multichapter story and then turned into this cursed WIP I completely forgot about, which you can find on both Ao3 and FF.net  under the name of ‘blinking in the starlight’.

Every once in a while someone comes across it, as it was the case with ‘if you’re not the bride’ and it would remind me of its existence. But unlike IYNTB, I have no interest in rewriting it or continuing this story. 

A few weeks ago I found the original draft for ‘blinking in the starlight’ in my dad’s old computer, so I thought I might do a post no one asked for (some people did, you guys are great, humoring me like that) on what the plot was supposed to be.

But after sitting with it I wasn’t fully satisfied (as usual, fml). So, like the clown that I am, I decided that since we are already here, might as well make it into an actual AU post, mind my language, I’m frustrated.

Blinking In The Starlight: Tangled AU

Okay, so I’m gonna presume that you read the WIP, so if you didn’t, maybe check that out first and then come back to this post. Or don’t, it’s not like it’s a very complex narrative anyway.

Many, many years before this story starts, there was a cruel sorcerer named Rafal.

He tormented the Endless Woods for centuries, extorting kingdoms and stuff, you know, very much a two-dimensional character whose motivations I definitely did not think through. Being evil I guess?

No one could defeat him, because he always somehow ended up knowing the traps were coming and was two steps ahead. No one knew how, so they just like, presumed it was because he was psychic or something.

Until one day, a young vain prince named Arthur of Camelot decides to order a hunt to the big blue falcons, to get their feathers as a present to the girl he was courting, one Lady Guinevere.

Would you believe those birds were Rafal’s spies? Now that everyone was hunting them, they could no longer listen in as easily.

So when Prince Arthur campaigns against Rafal’s evilness and challenges him to a duel in which he tricks the sorcerer and defeats him, stripping him of most his powers (and therefore his immortality), everyone was shook 

Don’t ask me how he did it, I honestly do not know

But instead of killing Rafal, Arthur agrees to spare his mortal life as long as he gives him a powerful love potion for Guinevere and never shows his face around Camelot ever again.

Rafal is pissed, but says sure why not, because he knew  Arthur would be crushed once the potion effects wore off and Guinevere left him anyway

So yeah, they became King and Queen, everyone thinks Rafal is dead, Camelot became known as the guardian kingdom of the Endless Woods alliance, yada yada.

Meanwhile, Rafal, now mortal and still pissed af, looks for a way to get his immortality back, because he is now old and tired all the time.He goes to one of his oldest allies and they tell him a rumor about a woman named Vanessa who found a way to stay young forever using a bird.

It takes a few years for him to track her down, but when he does, he tries to convince her to show him the bird. Vanessa is like that sounds like a you problem, so he threatens her and she tells him she ate it to save her life during her pregnancy (do not ask me how this works, why she couldn’t have healed herself like usual, I don’t know okay)

Rafal is pissed again, because Vanessa was still looking young, so either she lied or she was omitting something and decides you know what, screw you and murders everyone, trying to find the damned bird.

But then he hears soft singing from the closet. A little girl named Sophie, who apparently had inherited the bird’s ability to restore youth. 

First, he thinks of raising her as his daughter. But then, one day she’d try to leave him for a boy, so he decides to trick her into thinking he was that boy, so she’d never want to leave him.

He sells her this bullshit story about everything being a fairytale like the ones her books, makes himself look like a teenager and tells her he is now going to take care of her because they are true loves and whatnot

Using the money from his previous evilness (why am I like this), he builds a tower and gaslights the hell out of her telling her is was to keep the danger outside, when actually he was caging her in. Her guards are all mercenaries and her maids are kidnaped slaves so, hm, that’s nice

He keeps visiting her to restore his youth, but he needs the macguffin Arthur used to take away his immortality (I didn’t specify what it was in my draft, so let’s say its Excalibur, for the sake of storytelling) to restore his full greatness, so he starts a long-long-plan to overthrow Camelot once he gets him hands on the sword.

However, Sophie is a person of her own, even being manipulated and gaslighted. She wants to go outside and see the world. Obviously Rafal won’t let her, and even gives her a ring to summon him and stuff, so she won’t think about going anywhere out of his sight.

But she ends up doing it anyway because she’s Sophie

Now hold on a minute.

Back in Camelot, Arthur has already died, Guinevere ran off with Lancelot and Tedros is a brat, walking around with Excalibur (not knowing how powerful it actually is) playing glorified police officer for the royal guard as a way to prove he’ll be a good king someday.

Festival season is approaching and prince Teddy is on a man-hunt (woman-hunt?) for the thief that has been ambushing noble carriages.

They have some good banter, but the thief always manages to distract him and get away.

Guess who is the thief

It’s Agatha, leave me alone, I was 15 and loved cliches, shut up

Yes, I know I’m now almost 19 and still love cliches, moving on

Agatha is stealing money from the rich like a robin hood pro, because festival season is expensive and poor people need to eat okay

But prince-holier-than-thou keeps showing up so she decides to be petty and steal directly from him. Girl just wanted some gold, but ends up with Excalibur because Tedros is an idiot

So he chases her through the woods for days on end, hot on her trail, and Aric gets caught on the crossfire between them. Agatha presumes from his uniform that there is a castle near and decides to hide there.

Tagatha ends up in Sophie’s tower, and she hides Excalibur to bargain with them.

She strikes a deal with Tedros to show her the festival in exchange for Excalibur. 

Agatha is just f this shit im out, she didn’t want the sword in the first place and last thing she needs is going to Camelot with a pseudo-police-officer.

But then Tedros realizes he doesn't know how to go back to Camelot and Sophie makes him promise not to turn Agatha in. Agatha is still skeptical, so he promises to lift taxes for the lower classes and she agrees to be their unofficial guide back to Camelot.

Princes can't break promises, don’t ask

The three of them escape the tower. 

Shenanigans ensue.

There’s a scene of Agatha helping people in a tavern and Tedros is like???? she nice????

Sophie finding out that the old wizard from her story was the guy King Arthur supposedly killed and doubting Rafal’s lies.

There’s Tedros explaining his need to be just and abide by the laws all the time due to the pressure of his father’s rep after the three of them nearly die of hypothermia (?)

Sophie telling them about her talent.

Very wholesome really.

Meanwhile tho, Aric finally manages to alert Rafal that Sophie left, and Rafal summons his birds to look for her, figuring out that she had Excalibur (how? Idk)

When the trio reaches Camelot, it’s still a few days before the festival. Agatha says she is done and needs to be on her way, but Tedros (softly, may I add) asks her to stay, at least until the lantern scene/day/tradition/thingy

Their unspoken feelings are all over the place and Sophie decides to play matchmaker.

They stay in an inn (why did Tedros not sneak them into the castle, you ask? I don’t know, don’t ask) and Sophie makes the guy tell them there is only two rooms. She then makes up some balloney about wanting to be by herself, so Agatha and Tedros share a room.

Yeah, you know what I’m doing, don’t you: there’s only one bed.

Some other tropes for a very fluffy chapter equivalent of the score of Kingdom Dance, which is my favorite song in the Tangled Soundtrack, fight me, is such a good ‘falling in love montage’ song

But the fluff doesn’t last long, because the very night of the festival, just as you can almost hear Tagatha singing ‘and at last I see the light’, Rafal’s birds find Sophie and take off her ring by force.

Rafal crashes the festival, stealing Excalibur from Sophie and unleashing his coupe against Camelot, back to being immortal and super over-powered.

He throws Sophie back in her tower, and when she doesn't comply and asks him to stop we have a ‘I never loved you’ ‘you were always just a bird to me, a dumb bird’ moment and Sophie is just destroyed because aside from her new friends (whom she believed were dead) Rafal is all she has.

Back in Camelot, complete mayhem is being wrecked, bloodshed and stuff. Agatha manages to rescue Tedros before his execution and they figure out that they need to rescue Sophie and get Excalibur to kill Rafal for good.

“Insert part one of TLEA here”, bitch, I kid you not, that’s exactly what I wrote wtf even is this draft

Somehow it all leads into this big confrontation, in which Sophie strips Rafal of his immortality using the sword but can’t bring herself to kill him. So she asks Tedros to do it, so he can prove himself to his kingdom.

I do not know where Agatha is during this, but I’m pretty sure she’s like, fatally wounded or something

Rafal reveals to Tedros why Arthur spared his life the first time and offers him a potion to make Agatha return his (already mutual, you idiot) feelings. 

Tedros is like, nah, I’m gonna kill you, and Rafal is like are you sure she won’t just ride off and leave you like your mama?

And Tedros is just, honestly, man, I’m not, but I’m not gonna force her. Then some analogy about caging birds and Rafal is dead.

Yey, happy ending.

So Tedros and Agatha are left in this limbo, because she poor and she a criminal and he a prince. 

Tedros decides to have Agatha take the glory of killing Rafal to redeem her in the public eye, grants her a title, she makes Sophie her lady-in-waiting and they all live happily ever after the end.

[dontcallmecarrie]

Are you planing on ever making By Dawns Early Light into a full blown story? ... And is Thanos an issue in this AU? I think you havent mentioned him in it so well, I wondered?

UMM. *looks over what I’ve got in that tag, and winces*

geez this thing’s longer than some of my actual fics, when did that happen?

Here’s the thing, though: this AU’s meant to be a writer’s-block-buster. Which, if the current evidence is anything to go by, has been a resounding success. 

However. 

As of right now it’s just that, a thought-and-snippet-writing exercise, because there’s a lot of things that’d need tweaking before I’d even consider posting it on AO3 [aka my inner perfectionist strikes again]. 

Again, this is mostly just me messing around with a fluffy tumblr-exclusive [for now, anyway] AU because this feels smaller stakes than if I were to round this up and make it into a full-out fic.

Also, in regards to the second part of your ask: not exactly. By Dawn’s Early Light is, at its core, a fairly fluffy self-indulgent AU, which for me is also code for ‘nobody dies if I can help it’ and ‘if the MCU can have a Gary Stu villain then I can do what I want, Deus Ex Machina-levels of fixits included’.

How? Simple. By nerfing the heck out of him, while also unfridging as many other moms as I can, with a side of I-have-yet-to-forgive-the-writers-for-pulling-this-bs-seriously-what-kind-of-writing-was-that. 

Here’s how the entire Thanos situation would go down, in By Dawn’s Early Light (spoilers for a fic I have yet to write):

First, let’s take a step back, shall we? This is, among other things, a timeline-crunch AU. There’s a lot going down in a very compressed time frame [originally just because I wanted Howard to still be around just for Tony to be able to punch him, but now I’m invested in this so time go the full nine yards, buckle up everyone].

So. The entire situation around Maria Stark and Tony and Bucky’s been covered fairly well, but to sum up: when Howard turns out to be an abusive asshole of a husband, his wife smiles at him and promptly turns around and burns both SHIELD and Stark Industries, revealing HYDRA and Obadiah Stane’s double-dealing ahead of schedule [unintentional fixits ftw]. In the chaos, Bucky manages to escape and joins up with Maria and Tony as they go in hiding. 

Ripple effect that didn’t get mentioned: Hank Pym sees this shit going down, realizes that the most famous missing child in the country is about the same age as his daughter, and decides to not aim to be Absentee Father of the Year. He ends up being a tad overprotective, sure, but is way more involved in his kid’s life and Hope Van Dyne grows up with at least one (1) parental figure in her life, so…there’s that. 

Things happen, and the timeline for bringing Janet back gets moved up somehow, right around when the Avengers assemble.

Note to self: adjust part of Scott Lang’s origin story in this? Compare whistleblower laws of that time era, alt. entrance for him could be him somehow helping Tony hide because BDEL!Howard’s the type of petty and vindictive asshole who’d pull some strings if he found out this rando interfered with his search somehow. 

Bonus for giving Scott and Hank something to commiserate about, later on, and would also have Tony and Co. feeling indebted to him [which would result in a lot of shiny prototypes and records being expunged, later on, probably]

…though that might be a bit much. Hmm.

Reason to bring Janet back: I do what I want also I think the MCU fridged moms because otherwise they’d be too powerful 

Ripple effect that didn’t get mentioned, the second: since this is also the AU where moms get unfridged, Frigga’s going to be derailing the plot from her corner of the galaxy.

Also, since I finally watched Ragnarok but was a mythology nerd as a kid and have a passing knowledge of the comics, time to revamp how Hela fits into this universe.

Okay, she’s still murderous and powerful and ruthless. 

Only, turns out there’s a very good reason for it: she was one of Loki’s students [iirc she’s his daughter in the myths, that’s the best I can come up with atm] before Odin saddled her with the thankless duty of being the watchkeeper of Asgard’s enemies and prisoners. As in, Odin just straight-up went ‘hey you look pretty talented, here, I now hold you responsible for this entire goddamn realm of assholes and creeps, if any get out we’re all screwed’. 

Which is something Hela absolutely did not sign up for, but she’s now just about the only thing standing between said realm of undesirables and her home so she stays put […also maybe Odin sealed the only way back? Maybe? Idk].

It didn’t help that in the early days, these ruffians thought they could overpower her and escape to wreak havoc. So she had to kick everyone’s ass six ways to Sunday, until they finally accepted her as the head honcho of this dump and as someone Not To Be Fucked With.

Thus, why Hela’s known as the goddess of death and ruler of Helheim.  

…and it’s also why she accidentally came to Thanos’ attention.

(Because why the hell not, as if her day wasn’t bad enough Odin you owe her big time—)

Thanos, of course, is in love with her carnage and seems to be the kind of guy who doesn’t take no for an answer. Hela just wants to be left the alone but can’t tell him to fuck off because if she did, she’d risk leaving her home open to attack from enemy agents, which is how we get the story behind why Thanos is known as the madman who courted death. 

[Hela: fuck you and the horse you rode in on shoo you bastard and take your stupid flowers with you—]

Thanos was on one of his especially annoying ‘let me woo you with the ashes of this one civilization!’ kicks [Hela: ashes. How romantic. Not. Leave me alone already.] when some of the Dark Elves snuck out and killed Odin. 

Hela…is only pissed she couldn’t have done it with her own two hands. Also slightly embarrassed that the Dark Elves escaped in the first place, and relieved that it was only Odin who’d kicked it because his wife had seemed pretty nice, the one time Hela’d seen the lady before she’d been drop-kicked to this hellhole. 

Also— apparently she now can leave this place? Sayonara, bitches. 

.

Thanos is very displeased when he doesn’t find her standing guard over Helheim when he returns.

Displeased enough to get creative, as far as courting gifts go, and think that if she didn’t like rings or jewelry, well, maybe this Lady Death would appreciate a shiny, fully-assembled Infinity Gauntlet instead.

well…let’s be honest, if it weren’t for his ‘don’t take no for an answer’ thing, you’d have to give the guy props for trying. Nothing says ‘I love you’ more than ‘here have this item of absolute cosmic power’, amirite? [just kidding]

.

Hela now has mixed feelings about Asgard. Before she was crowned Queen of This Dump, she’d been a student of magic, had been used to certain things. There’s quite an element of culture shock to be had, now that she’s back. It’s the first time she’s seen sunlight in thousands of years, and also there’s a lot of systemic changes going on now that some of Odin’s dirty secrets are coming out at last. Turns out she’s not the only one who’d been pressed into duty: some of Loki’s other students[/children in the myths] came back with stories of the same. Fenrir was apparently voluntold to be the guardian of the Reality Stone, Jormungandr had apparently been busy on Midgard […which now had a school of Mystic Arts? Pfft. Overachiever], and the more Hela thought about it the angrier she got.

Especially when it turns out that her teacher had been mocked for suffering a breakdown and was also tortured by the creep who’d been flirting with her for millennia [Everyone: wait what Hela: I am going to KILL THAT BASTARD NEXT TIME I SEE HIM]. 

However, thanks to Frigga being Frigga and having a crazy-high charisma stat, Hela is still mostly willing to play ball with everyone else on Asgard. Despite her not being happy with how ungrateful the general populace acted [oh, magic’s just ‘tricks’? Here, have a fireball TO THE FACE I FOUGHT MONSTERS WITH THESE TRICKS FOR MILLENNIA]. 

So when Thanos shows up again, he gets one-shotted by Hela, who’s very very pissy about her vacation being interrupted.

Because this planet has sunlight and hot chocolate and punk rock and she’s got centuries’ worth of time off and she is damn well going to enjoy it.

.

…aka why Thanos is a bit of a non-entity in this one. Again, fixits are the name of the game for this AU.