#idk what the fuck to do like is there anxiety training for cats

[remuslupinkinnie1979]

Some Emilute headcanons cause I'm obsessed

Lute - she/they (mean) lesbian

Emily - they/she/neos pansexual

Lute is VERY protective, if you even look at Emily the wrong way, you have a spear inches from your throat a second later

I hc that Emily is autistic, so Lute always carries noise cancelling headphones in her back (Emily often forgets them)

Lute loves listening to Emily infodumping about their current interests

Whenever Emily sees a homeless animal in the streets she takes it home. Lute thought it was adorable, until it got to the point when: "No, Em. We already have 5 dogs, 4 cats, 2 snakes, 3 turtles and a chicken, we can't adopt this lizard."

They ended up having a little animal shelter

Emily cried every time they had to give out a pet, but was also happy it found a new home

Lute listens to stuff like Metallica, Nirvana, AC/DC etc. and Emily listens to Melanie Martinez and musicals. They both love Queen

They watch anime (why? Because I said so)

Lute gets a lot of bruises and injuries during training and stuff, and Emily always insists to take care of them

This one is kinda dumb, but I hc that when angels blush their face goes yellow (cause they have yellow blood, yk) and Lute blushes A LOT around Emily (especially when they started dating) and Adam gave her a nickname "banana" cause of it and every time he caught them simping he'd be like: "You're staring, banana" (idk, I made it today at 5 am, okay?!)

Emily loves making bracelets and giving them to people (Lute especially). It got to the point when Lute almost had her circulation stop, cause she insisted on wearing them all the time

Lute is more scared of Sera after her and Emily got together, cause Sera is kinda like Emily's parent/big sister so Lute wants her to like her

Sera picked up on it and is very cold and serious around Lute, to not show that she actually likes her

Lute has anxiety/panic disorder and sometimes gets bad panic attacks from all the pressure and Emily always succeeds to calm them down

Also Lute has some major anger issues and is often like "I'm gonna murder the next person I fucking see, I swear..." And then she sees Emily and IMMEDIATELY turns calm and nice. Adam makes fun of her for it

They paint their nails together. Lute always gets black and Emily never can decide what to pick (xe ends up with multicolour nails)

Sometimes when they're talking/flirting and Adam is in the background he would do some stupid shit to ruin the moment, like:

Emily: You look nice today... Pretty much like every day

Lute: *blushes* You think?

Adam: *Fake sexual/puking noises in the background*

They often go on dates on Earth (they love cinema, concerts and Disneyland)

Sometimes on Earth people would give them dirty looks or throw slurs at cause they're gay and Lute would be like cracking her knuckles and getting angry, and Emily has to hold her, so she wouldn't murder someone

Emily pretty much NEVER swears and Lute swears a lot. Lute loves that about Emily, so she makes sure to never swear in their presence:

Lute: Oh you little *realises that Emily is next to her* you little... stupid person?

Emily: *laughs, cause she knows what Lute really wants to say and finds the whole thing adorable*

Adam would CONSTANTLY make fun of Lute for simping

Sera would definitely give Lute 'the talk'

Emily tends to dismiss ze's own emotions and overworked themselves to make everyone happy. Lute sometimes ends up forcibly putting them to bed so she'd get some rest.

Emily loves sweets and Lute loves salty food

Emily drinks tea and Lute drinks coffee

Emily likes knitting, especially in winter, so Lute has a closet full of sweaters, scarves, hats etc. She'd never wear them if they weren't from Emily

Lute likes sketching (mostly their girlfriend)

Hufflepuff x Slitherin

Emily loves hairstyling, so ze insists on styling lutes hair

St. Peter and Emily are friends and Lute absolutely fucking hates this guy

Because of their height difference Emily has to stand on her tiptoes when they kiss

Lute takes advantage of the difference and gives Emily a lot of forehead kisses

Lute often gives Emily piggy back rides (or flies)

Lute always insists on doing 'gentlemen' stuff, like they ALWAYS carry Emily's bag and open the door for her

When they move in together Adam often just comes in uninvited and crashes on the couch like he actually lives there. Lute is kinda annoyed with it, but Emily mostly doesn't mind

Lute plays bass

When they sleep Lute always has her spear next to the bed, just in case

When Emily has a shutdown Lute either speaks for them or makes sure to get her out of there. If anyone is trying to keep Emily in the room and is being kinda pushy and obnoxious, Lute gets all protective and is like: Don't you see we're busy? With a spear targeted at them

When Emily gets overstimulated xe tends to pick up on their skin. Lute noticed that and always has some fidget toys on them, to offer

Emily collects plushies and squishmallows and when ze sees one in a store, it goes like this:

Emily: Look! It's so cute! Can we buy it?

Lute: Babe, we already have like... 20 squishmallows in our room.

Emily: But it's an elephant... *Sad face*

Lute: Oh, fine. But it's the last one. *It's never the last one*

Adam is sceptical about their relationship at first, but grows fond of Emily pretty quickly and sees them as his little sister

They cuddle using their wings as blankets

Okay, I guess that's it for now, but I will probably update. As u can probably tell I'm a little, tini-tiny bit obsessed with them atm

[lixenn]

Rant below

Reasons why today sucks:

I'm tired as hell

Train journey to work was annoying as fuck in a different and emotionally draining way so go rot in hell DB

I have lab cleaning duty this week and I don't know what I actually need to do so anxiety about that because the technicians already complained about nobody ever cleaning and yeah... not great

One of the orga people complaining about the cleaning just... geht mir so gegen den Strich. The vibes are just rancid and each time I see her or her mails I want to hiss like a demonic cat. That woman... hard no, Idk why exactly but she can go fuck off.

I'm doing my staining but I don't know where the antibodies are I need for the next step and I can't find my supervisor which means I'm stuck and it pisses me off hardcore. I'm sick off running after him all the time just don't hand me the thing, show me where the thing is stored so I can find it. Like yes maybe I will forget and I will need to ask but that's on me but if you don't show me at least once then I'm fucked.

Send an e-mail to my prof asking about my progress report presentation and I already have anxiety about the answer

Thesis has been steadily ignored the past few days which... not great.

I repeat: I'm tired as hell so headache is kicking my ass and I lowkey want to cry just for crying's sake.

[panzershrike-pretz]

THIS! This tag game seems so fun! Made by the amazing @ronald-speirs!

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

That would be either the alps in Germany or the Salinas beach, here in Brazil! I adored both the snow and thes amount of stuff i find at the beach there

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

The amount of progress I made since being diagnosed with autism, depression and anxiety. Even if I stopped going to therapy, I feel like the diagnosis (esspecially the autism one) shed so much light on my life, and I was able to makes the world around me (even if just at home) more confortable for myself by understanding myself more and adjusting the way I do things so it's easier on me.

Favorite books?

Hmmmmm let's see- the Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children series, obviously, but I also LOVE The Book Thief, American Gods and definetely Warrior Cats (I only read the first arc, so Idk how good's the rest xD)

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

My dog and my characters! Love them :]

Favorite thing about your culture?

Hmmmmmm probably food? But I'm extremely picky so I don't even eat most of our stuff 💀 i do love feijoada, brigadeiro, pastel and coxinha tho- Idk about the rest KAKAKAKA other than that, the slangs. So cool. Love it

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

Back at the end of 2022 or early 2023 was when I first heard about it, but as for officially joining...? Probably like. 5 or 6 months ago? I have no idea what time even is-

The first show was Band of Brothers :D

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

Nope. And won't.

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Webster. Him shoving himself on the ground was the best. Just like me fr💕

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

Uhhhhh I make memes and occasionally fanart? I wouldn't classify this as content but when I'm really into something I take some aspects of it for my own world, so I can always keep it close to me, even if the hyperfixation faded a bit with time

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

I know no one- but I do like Bud Spencer and Terence Hill's movies. They are the only actors I know the name of 💀 I like the funny coeboy movies, many good memories watching them with dad when I was a kid (and still doing so, every now and then)

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

"I'll beat you with a dead cat 'till it starts mewing" - a popular brazilian saying (the best ever)

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

HmmmmmmmmI share so much about myself that I don't even know 💀 probably that I once fell facefirst on a river when I was 4, while I was fishing? That was A Day

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader ����)?

I don't write much but!! I did write something yesterday about my characters and idk if I should post, but if you're interested, I can show you :D

Three things that make you smile?

My dog, my characters, birds

Any nicknames you like?

Based off my real name I like "Rah", but only when used irl. As for the internet, I love Pretz! And I have a special one my best friend @isazmoon gave me, which is Pretzu, but this ones I feel like it's only hers :3

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

@1waveshortofashipwreck @xxluckystrike @ronald-speirs @ronsparky @minha-xuh @whollyjoly @sweetxvanixlla!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!! AMAZING PEOPLE!!

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

What would I live for, my stupid ass can't even run 😭 i'd die fast as fuck. And I know all my friendswould die too so we all just perish together 💕💕💕 friendship goals

Favorite movie?

How To Train Your Dragon? Wolfwalkers? Saving Private Ryan? Pirates of the Caribbean? Can't probably choose only one, it's torture

Do you like horror movies?

Ehh, not much? I prefer animations

Tags (no pressure): @xxluckystrike @whollyjoly @ronsparky @sweetxvanixlla @grumpy-liebgott @1waveshortofashipwreck @blueberry-ovaries @minha-xuh (hey Gih, if you want you can take off the HBOwar bits and/or replace them with MPHFPC, since you're from another fandom, feel free!)

[triangle-fucker]

Helloooo

Idk what the fuck I’m doing but I’m doing something so come watch and poke me with a stick like a dead animal if you want

Introduction UUUGGGHH…

Uhm

My name is Comet I’m Bill Cipher’s legal husband (/j) and a freak so no young minors or anyone that’s scared of that stuff <3

He/they/it pronounssss

Transmasc enby with ✨Dysphoria✨

I have autism, anxiety and depression so I’m kind of a train wreck

I need attention or I’ll explode

DNI homophobes/transphobes, racists, haters & Gideon

If you are a pr*sh*pper I’m fine with you interacting I guess but please don’t message me or send asks, I’m not really comfortable with that kind of stuff

I’m serious idk what I’m doing please be nice to me

In the tkl community <3 Ler-leaning switchhh

I’m a therian yippee

Theriotypes: Black cat, gray wolf, raven.

I make,,, art,,,

Reqs: open again! Buuut anon is off for now, sorry loves :( Safety issues :((

If u follow me pretend we’re moots cuz I can’t follow people back for some reason ? Idk I’m figuring it out my tech likes to fuck with me

Hyperrose & self destructive

FANDOMSSSS:

(italics are my current hyperfixations)

(bolds are stuff I won’t make content for but will still yap about)

Gravity falls (+aus)

Tadc (+aus)

Wordgirl

Undertale (+aus)

The Wild Robot (the movie)

Sprunki

Despicable Me 4

Woy

Mouthwashing

South Park

Dogman

Tags:

🌟Comet.text🌟 = text posts

🌟Comet.doodling🌟 = art posts

🌟Comet’s.delusions🌟 = hcs/fandom ramblings

🌟Comet.being.pathetic🌟 = vent posts

🌟Comet.reblogs🌟 = reblogs

🌟Comet.getting.freaky🌟 = suggestive posts

🌟Comet.answers🌟 = answering asks

🌟Comet.announcements🌟 = announcements/important posts

🌟Comet.tkl🌟 = tkl posts

🌟Comet.tail🌟 = wolf or cat therian posts

🌟Comet.wings🌟 = bird therian posts

🌟Comet’s.friends🌟 = gifts for friends or reblogs of friends’ posts

Thankssss

Uhm

I wanna make friends so

Talk to me plz 🙏

Okay bye 💥

[peachdoxie]

Rambling about therapy and mental health stuff

Like idk if I'm just bad at communicating with my therapists or if they're just blinded by their preconceived notions of me based on their training and my diagnoses, or some combo of both, but like I just feel that I'm not getting the help I need because I'm being forced to do things that I feel are impossible for me to do right now, like stick to a schedule or go to bed at a decent time or do household chores. Like so much of exposure and response prevention is doing the things I find hard with the ultimate goal of demonstrating to me that they're not actually that hard once I do them instead of avoiding them, but like. Idk how to describe it. It's like my therapists are too far ahead of me. Like I'm stuck in the ocean treading water barely able to keep my head above the surface and they're like "okay it's time for swimming lessons!" and meanwhile I can't physically swim because I'm so exhausted and out of breath and stressed and I need a life preserver first to stop me from dying.

It's like. like my limitations are so high and my limits so low that I can't do what they ask. It's like I'm being told to walk on a broken leg: sure it's possible but it's so incredibly hard that I can't do anything else but they want me to start walking and I can't. Like I need something to help me walk, crutches or other accomodations, because it's so impossible to function with a broken fucking leg and yet the strategy is to just limp along until the pain settles down. But I don't think my therapists see it that way—especially my OCD therapist who kept insisting that the reason I couldn't work on my dissertation was because I had convinced myself I'm incapable of working on it, that it's all in my head, when I keep telling him, no, I want to work on it, I want to write it, and there is something else stopping me that I can't figure out.

(Ngl I'm still questioning the diagnosis of OCD vs autism/adhd burnout wombo combo but that's a separate issue)

To put it another way. I'm disabled and I live alone with my cat. Most of my life as a graduate student is entirely self-directed. Self care is extremely difficult for me. The mental load I have to take on for caring for myself and my cat is so high and it's overwhelming me all the time. I need someone to help me take some of that load off because it's too much, but my therapists want me to just grin and bear it even though I've tried to explain that I can't do that and also write my dissertation.

Like honestly I feel that I've come away from my six months with the OCD therapist in particular with more trauma than when I started because I kept being told that I'd have to fight through the anxiety and pain even when I kept saying I can't, not without the rest of my life crashing down—and this to a lesser extent with my other therapist. I feel like I'm being gaslit and told that my perspective on my problems isn't what's actually happening. I just don't know how to make myself heard and I'm so, so tired.

[thetantiger]

doing this 'cause I'm already experiencing art withdrawal from my hiatus I've forced onto myself with light encouragement from my friends so here we go

also I realize "game" likely implies some schmo is supposed to be like "please answer #69!" but fuck you I go by my own rules and have fun with it too

LMAO so this computer is only about a year old, a while ago my other computer literally shit itself and died so I used to have paint tool SAI on there but now on this one I legit only have the one I actually use which is FireAlpaca

Forward, but left is easier than right

I used to have this warriors self-insert OC when I was REAL YOUNG named Moonfeather that I still hold near and dear to my heart but haven't made art of in literal years and don't have a concrete design for. yes she was special, yes she could turn into a dragon (???) But if you mean ideas I currently use, Ray's been around since I was 10 so

EDITH LOL drawing little kid her is easy as fuck 'cause she looks almost exactly like kid-Gray but current/teen her is so aids 'cause she has all that dragon shit going on + her hair is complicated

literally I post everything online (that I can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) because I need validation there is not a single piece of digital art that I've made that hasn't been posted on the internet (for the most part ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

my own goddamn trauma. literally half the time I look at an arc a character just had and went "yo the way snarky like came back in a new form with blue reminds me of how my current cat acts exactly like the one I lost" and then I mental boom

gouache (spelling?), that shit's so pretty

literally just made a video about this lmao, the Animals PMV. RIP

if it's a finished piece in the form of a png I name it the piece's title, if it's a WIP art program file I name the file something like "ass" and move on

hoodies.. or scarves. belts are fun too

music or podcasts. sometimes vcs

face/expressions, I fucking LOVE drawing expressions SO MUCH

lotta them undertale/deltarune fanartists are fucking amazing but I've never been into that fandom. Also my husband is super into FNF mods and those are neat too

the little fucking ocean wiggles on fantasy maps y'know the ones

my house/desk lol

fuck idk. the shit I've trained myself to get good at is the shit I've really cared about, however my least favorite part of a piece is lineart

dear god no I HAVE to separate food from that shit, I have enough food anxiety as it is. I watch videos while I eat

not a whole lot actually, I don't distinctly remember doing so pretty much ever

literally fucking none actually. like I legit scoured my art and animation for this shit and couldn't find ANYTTHING. I adore drawing characters so much and anytime I have to draw something inanimate that's not directly clothing -on- the character or weapons it makes me want to kick a baby. broken glass is fun tho I guess???

hands. not that it's easier for me but I like how expressive I can be with em

tybaxel is so fucking amazing but that's like my only answer, not that I don't like other people's art that doesn't look like mine either but that's literally the only example I could think of because I don't keep track of this sorta thing, if it looks pretty I follow. that's my philosophy

lol

not sure what this means actually so no

only rarely for like purposes of poses or perspective. almost all the time my reference window is just a wow screenshot

nothing is coming to me off the top of my head but I have noticed characters or concepts I thought of before I found certain media crops up in said media anyway. like Detective looks very Lackadaisy and I'm not tryna say I'm salty about it I think it's neat actually

any piece with amab characters whose design includes being shirtless. like bro, tree is just chillin'

sometimes I scribble cool/dramatic expressions before drawing but only occasionally

i helped paint a mural in my hometown :D

vivzie's creations, a lot of the character designs are too spiky/thin for me but I understand the stylistic choice

LITERALLY the one I JUST posted based off the song Mama by My Chemical Romance I'm literally in love with it and I don't think anybody saw it fucking rip

anyway yeah fuck it I just felt like doing that lmfao

Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game

Didn't see a lot of artist ask games, wanted to make a silly one.

(I wrote this while sick out of my mind last year and it's been collecting dust in my drafts, I might as well let it run free) 1. Art programs you have but don't use

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

3. What ideas come from when you were little

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

9. What are your file name conventions

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

12. Easiest part of body to draw

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

14. Any favorite motifs

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

23. Do you use different layer modes

24. Do your references include stock images

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

[shatteredfears-arch]

k i’m online now, but in trying to condition my pet cats w the abandoned cat child i rescued last week (literally on other sides of the wall, not even NEAR each other that much) salem decided to gouge into my arms so THATS great and now I put salem in the detention cage while the new child goes into her other room to relax bc now shes freaked out bc my daughter decided to be a bitch. 

on the upside, my original cat aka the nakey l/oki is having a great time seeing her sister in trouble. literally keeps walking in front of the cage, stealing her treats, throwing htings at the cage. she’s having a great time. salem’s pissed but ig i spoiled her too much growing up and i really dont know how to make her stop, bc at this rate even if i don’t keep the stray, I can’t just let salem get away with gouging mommy’s arms open bc htats rUDE

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

Hi Anna!! Happy Blorbo Blursday!

Time for a fuck ton of asks, as is my trademark. <3

Which of your OC's are neurodivergent? What would their diagnosis be in modern times? What are their neurodivergent traits/tendencies?

Which OC's are cat people? Dog people? Both? Niether?

Who can ride a horse well, and who can barely stay in the saddle?

Tell me about Captain Cassandra. Anything you want. As much as you want.

Tell me everything about Raven. (I am head of his protection squad now, btw. /lh)

Tell me about Triveya and her relationship with her magic.

For the entire main cast: what are their Fatal Flaws? (bonus, are they aware of it?) (idk if I've asked before, but it's my all-time fave question, so here it is again.) (LIST if you need it)

That's all for now! Have fun!

~ Morri (@memento-morri-writes)

Morri :DDDDD!!! Happy Blorbo Blursday!!!

As usual, all of your questions are fantastic and I will be answering in detail under the cut:

Which of your OC's are neurodivergent? What would their diagnosis be in modern times? What are their neurodivergent traits/tendencies?

!!!! Neurodivergent characters YESSSSS !!!! You bet your ass I have nd characters! (I like to write nd as a shortcut for neurodivergent btw)

Because I am nd myself all of my characters end up being nd coded, but I do write quite a few characters with explicit disorders/disabilites in mind.

Triveya is Autistic and has ADHD (and she's a burntout former gifted kid), Raven is autistic (he masks a lot), Princess Hestia has an anxiety/panic disorder, Sapphire has ADHD (she doesn't mask much), Prince Kaye has OCD, and the whole FSF crew has trauma and mental health issues on top of that. Now I shall talk about each of my specifically nd babies in detail:

Triveya- she has a very bubbly personality, and is a super compassionate and kind person. Being raised at a boarding school, she suppresses her other autistic and ADHD traits, like stimming, and having no control over her body language, lack of auditory processing, and facial expressions. She rarely drops the mask, even when alone she masks so hard it takes a physical toll- until her new friends help her feel safe and accepted enough that she can let go and unmask a lot more. She struggles with executive dysfunction, lack of dopamine, memory, sensory issues, social cues, and starting/finishing tasks. Her favorite stims are fiddling with the charms she wears, making swirly colors and little fireworks with magic, and making clicking noises with her mouth or humming. She can and will infodump everything she knows about magic at any moment, as magic itself is her special interest.

Raven- similar to Triveya, Raven masks a lot, which is due to his military training and just society in general. Though he does take more breaks to let himself unmask when he's alone, and makes accommodations for himself unlike Triveya. His new friends help him unmask even more, especially around them. He struggles with social cues, has a ton of sensory issues, and he stims a lot. His favorite stim is braiding anything and everything, hair, leather strips, flower stems, all of it. He also helps Triveya with the autistic struggles, is her biggest supporter, and the leader of the Triveya Defense Squad. Sometimes he hyperfixates on the people he loves (namely Sapphire) and will shower them with 10x more affection during a hyperfixation period (but he doesn't let it turn him into a creep, he respects boundaries).

Princess Hestia- her anxiety tends to manifest as anger issues, and when she starts to panic she is most likely to lash out at everyone in the room or area then isolate herself in shame. Elliot, her servants, and the others help her of course, and she starts to gain more control over her anxiety and resulting anger issues throughout the series, while feeling less anxious over time. When she's anxious or having a panic attack, her powers will start to act up, and she bites her lips/nails/cheeks until they bleed, and also ends up twisting and tearing the fabric of her clothes if they end up in her hands. The others help her with better coping skills so that she stops accidentally hurting herself in her panic. Max and Prince Kaye are the leaders of the Princess Hestia Defense Squad.

Princess Sapphire- she is that ADHDer with a golden retriever/chaotic gremlin personality. She gets excited very easily, is very hyperactive, and is almost always up to some kind of chaotic gremlin shenanigans. Because she was raised in the castle with very few other kids and her parents were only concerned with keeping her safe rather than behavior- she doesn't mask much at all. As a result, she rarely masks, so her ADHD traits are always front and center, and she doesn't care what others think. She struggles with impulsivity, dopamine instability, and getting overwhelmed and going into shutdown mode. Her stims include dancing, twirling around so her skirt flares out, talking about anything and everything, and just in general keeping active and constantly moving. She also helps Triveya out with her ADHD struggles, and is co-captain of the Triveya Defense Squad.

Prince Kaye- he is a very anxious person, and he has a ton of intrusive thoughts about bad things happening or hurting and even killing others due to his OCD. Because his parents raised him with the exception that he would be a bloodthirsty warlord like him, this makes Kaye's anxiety and feelings of shame about his thoughts even worse. He wants to love his parents, but resents them for treating him the way they do. He loves his siblings for supporting him and not expecting him to be like them. Princess Hestia and Max, who are also very anxious people, are his biggest supporters and leaders of the Prince Kaye Defense Squad, alone with his supportive and protective girlfriend Tris.

Which OC's are cat people? Dog people? Both? Neither?

Team Cats- Prince Kaye, Lan, Max, Princess Hestia, Elliot

Team Dogs- Tris, Cassandra, Erica, Sapphire, Triveya

Team Both- Prince Monty, Raven

Team Neither- No one? they all seem like animal lovers to me... idk :/

Who can ride a horse well, and who can barely stay in the saddle?

I'll do you one better and rank all of my MCs based on if they can ride a horse or not :D

1. Raven - He's a knight with military training, boy can absolutely ride a horse. He can ride a horse while firing a crossbow and braiding Sapphire's hair. HE CAN RIDE A HORSE 2. Princess Snow- she grew up joining the knights on hunts and marches and such, so she can ride a horse and do it well. She can't do it as well as Raven, but she does have a little combat specific horse training, so she can ride a horse and fight at the same time. 3. Lan- not as good as Snow cuz they're just not very combat inclined, but they can ride very well, going on the same adventures with the knights as Snow because they've been besties since they were kids. 4. Prince Kaye - He doesn't really like it because he was always trained with combat focused horse training, but he can do it and do it well. 5. Max - Not trained for combat at all and doesn't ride horses much, but he does have the royal training, so he can do it and at least stay in the saddle without any trouble. 5. Princess Hestia and Prince Monty - Same as Max, though they struggle a little bit with staying in the saddle, they can ride a horse and stay upright on it. 6. Tris - She's never really done it before, and would probably struggle for a minute before figuring it out and quickly becoming a pro. 7. Triveya - Also never done it before. Her learning curve would be a little bit longer than Tris's, but she eventually figures it out and does pretty ok once she's got it figured out 8. Cassandra and Erica - Never done it, and they're more accustomed to sailing on the ocean. They can figure it out and at least stay in the saddle with a whole lot of stuggling, but it's going to take a while to learn. 9. Princess Sapphire - Girl can't even get ON the horse. She's too short and doesn't have an ounce of patience, as well as a lack of object/depth perception (so she thinks the saddle is closer to the ground than it actually is cuz of the ADHD). And even if she can get in the saddle with some help, she's not staying in it- without holding on for dear life at the very least. Good thing she can ride with Raven.

Tell me about Captain Cassandra. Anything you want. As much as you want.

Oh yes! Captain Cassandra! She's so cool and a deaf queen! So, she's the little mermaid in my little mermaid retelling. When he story picks up, it's about four years after that prince left her, and she has since settled into the pirate life with a sturdy ship and loyal crew. The spell the sea witch gave her is still very much in effect- she can't talk and walking feels like walking on knives for her, but she's used to it by now- she can communicate with sign language or writing stuff down, and the pain in her feet is more of a dull ache most of the time. However, she's still trying to get over the prince by not addressing those feelings at all and trying to bury it and forget about it- which she doesn't realize actually isn't helping her heal at all. About a year prior to the events of The Little Pirate, she also lost most of her hearing to an explosion on the high seas- her left eardrum is completely shot while her right still works kinda but all the noise is really muffled and hard to make out on that side. The deafness she is still getting used to, but it's getting a little easier to manage each day. Cassandra is plus sized, has wild bright orange curls, icy blue eyes, and is a very determined, tough, and formidable pirate. Because of her first love leaving her, Cass is a very closed off person, tending to push away people she loves before she gets attached so that when they leave it won't hurt as much, and she thinks that she doesn't deserve love anyway. She's a clever pirate, and knows a lot about the islands that surround Eltya from the three years that she's explored them with her crew. Her crew is all girls, (except for her grandfather, who also gave up his tail to come on land with her so she wouldn't be alone- except he cut his tail off and replaced it with mechanical legs and he can talk), and her first mate is a girl named Felicity- who is also her main sign language interpreter. The other crew mates know some basic sign language, as does her grandfather, but Felicity is the most fluent. In the first chapter of the book, Cassandra meets our girl Erica (who yes I did name after the Disney prince, what of it), when they quite literally crash into each other as Erica is being chased by some dangerous pirates that clearly want something she has. Cass immediatly falls hard for not only Erica's gorgous looks, but her deeply caring and hopeless romantic personality and very hot skills with a sword. Once Cass realizes she's caught feelings, she very quickly pushes Erica away, thinking that this beautiful amazing girl will leave her like the prince did. I don't want to spoil anything, but by the end of the story Erica does prove Cassandra wrong and by the end of the series they confess feelings and kiss and become super cute, plus sized, horny, and protective pirate girlfriends.

Tell me everything about Raven. (I am head of his protection squad now, btw. /lh)

Raven. My son. My kin and blorbo. My boy. I love him so much and want him to suffer- You can absolutely be the head of the Raven protection squad, you have my approval :) Anyways, Raven. You probably know already that he's Princess Sapphire's super protective bodyguard, that he's autistic, that's he's morally gray, and all that good stuff, and I'll probably mention it again but it's fine- Raven is the biggest simp ever, for Sapphire. He's literally staring at her with heart eyes 99% of the time. He would do anything and everything for her, no questions asked. She is one of the things that can get him smiling and laughing in seconds. She's very different from what he's used to- before her, he dated people that were more like him. She's very different than he is and is kind of outside his comfort zone, but nothing is more worthy of leaving that comfort zone for in his eyes. And while he has this tough knight facade around everyone else, she's one of the few people he drops the facade for and becomes soft and sweet around. And he is so protective, let me elaborate: there is no limits to what this guy would go to for the people he loves, especially Sapphire. He chops a dude’s hand clean off, he fights the Witch Queen with no magic of his own multiple times, he traveled hundreds of miles by wagon and then carried her up a mountain just on the mere chance that this spell could wake her up from the sleeping curse. He would fight the King of the Underworld to the death just for her if it came to it. He would kill, he would burn down the whole world with no hesitation or regret just to get one last goodbye, one last chance to tell her he loves her. He can and will protect her from everything (even though she's very much capable of protecting herself in most cases) and it kills him that he can't do anything to protect her from the nightmares after he brings her back Also! He is so affectionate. Usually through physical touch, but also by just spending time with the people he loves and giving them simple but very meaningful and thoughtful gifts. Before the sleeping curse, he and Sapphire are really shy about showing physical affection, but after, they're both scared of one of them getting ripped away again. So they become super clingy and are making physical contact as much as possible, not caring if people are around: holding hands, hugging each other from behind, braiding each other's hair while listening to the others talk, holding hands under the table, forehead and cheek kisses, etc etc etc. He has three little sisters back home, and loves them all dearly. Those girls are also the reason he's so good at braiding, and he can do super fancy and intricate braids <3 He's also super protective of his little sisters and would 100% beat up or threaten any bully that dares mess with them. And that's all I can think of for now (but there will always be more!)

Tell me about Triveya and her relationship with her magic.

I've said this before but: Triveya is a former gifted kid who was mainly raised at a boarding school that teaches magic, where she was a 'gifted kid' very talented in magic- so... she kind of has a complicated relationship with magic to say the least. She loves it because it's her special interest, but it's also the one thing that causes the most burnout and stress in her life- this is because she feels ashamed of accommodating herself even though that would prevent a lot of stress, meltdowns, and burnout. She loves learning about magic, but dreads practicing it because of how hard it is for her. Triveya can and will infodump about magic at any given moment, but she frequently struggles with starting a spell, finishing it, and dreads doing the tasks required to do magic a lot. She's also very forgetful, leading her to very often forget important stuff about spells- which then causes them to backfire or not work at all. It's frusturating, and she's constantly beating herself up over it. But, her arc is all about her learning to cut herself some slack and accommodate herself, so by the end of the series she has a better relationship with magic and can actually enjoy practicing it again. And she becomes a former gifted kid that's messy, doesn't give a fuck, and actually lets herself do things the way that's best for her rather than conforming to everyone's expectations of doing it the neurotypical way.

For the entire main cast: what are their Fatal Flaws? (bonus, are they aware of it?) (idk if I've asked before, but it's my all-time fave question, so here it is again.) (LIST if you need it)

Probably have answered this before but idc. Tris: She has this very sanitized perception of the army in her kingdom, and thinks that everyone sees it the way she does and that everyone wants to be warheroes like her. I wouldn't say it's a fatal flaw necessarily, but it is the biggest flaw she has that she has to overcome in order to change how the kingdom is run. And it's a very jarring wake up call when she gets to the tournament and finds that a lot of girls there are scared and don't want to be there. All of this forces Tris to take a step back and re-evaluate how she sees things in her kingdom, then change how she thinks. After that, she consciously has to deconstruct everything that the kingdom has brainwashed her into believing about the army and how they treat the citizens.

Prince Kaye: He's not good at standing up for himself, and thinks that he's an awful person for having the thoughts that he does. Again, not a fatal flaw necessarily, at least not physically, but it is a mentally fatal flaw that kills how he thinks. He knows it's a problem, but has very few tools to deal with it.

Princess Snow: girl needs to stop letting people walk all over her and stop giving excuses for people when they treat her like shit. Now this is a very fatal flaw, because Snow's stepmother uses this against her and attempts kill Snow several times. Deep down, Snow knows that it's a huge problem that could get her killed, but she doesn't want to admit that to herself or anyone else.

Lan: loyalty. they are loyal to fault, and this flaw combined with Snow's is what gets them killed. They know it's a problem, but they care so much about their bestie they can't help it.

Captain Cassandra: she's afraid of loving someone only for them to leave. it's not her fault, the flaw is a trauma response to how the prince left her, but it's still a problem. it's not fatal necessarily, but it does keep her from living a happy and full life to the fullest when she falls for someone. She doesn't realize it's a flaw until it's too late.

Erica: loyalty again, especially to Cassandra, and it quite literally gets her killed (but she's brought back later). She knows it's a problem but isn't about to do anything about it.

Max: refuses to see problems that are there when he can and should fix them, refusing to stir up trouble and not be in the middle of any drama or danger. it's not what gets him killed but it could. He knows it's a problem but is too fearful to do anything about it.

Prince Monty: A little too curious and too eager to jump into an adventure without assessing the danger first. He knows it's a problem but can't stop himself

Elliot: ... I'm actually not quite sure what it exactly is yet. all I know is that he has to learn how to be brave and stand up to the people he tries to seek approval from. he might know that it's a flaw, but be too scared to do anything about it.

Princess Hestia: girl is so anxious and doesn't have the tools to cope. she also lashes out at people, then shuts them out and isolates herself in shame. She knows it's a problem, but she has no idea how to deal with it or fix it.

Raven: his fear of leaving his comfort zone and taking risks, even when they're necessary and even good. it doesn't get him killed but it does get someone else put under a sleeping curse ;) He doesn't realize it's a problem until it prevents him from saving someone he loves

Princess Sapphire: takes too many risks, and ignores the fact that she's not invincible. it doesn't get her killed exactly, but close enough ;) she doesn't realize it's a problem until she falls under the curse and is trapped in the underworld between life and death

Triveya: OVERACHIEVER MUCH- Girl pushes herself waaaay too hard.

Thank you so much for all of the questions @memento-morri-writes , wonderful ask as always and you're amazing <3

[bluealexa]

I find it easier to explain "mentally fucked up" in horses than in dogs because the fucked up dogs are often brushed off as "don't have enough attention or training" where in horses... people who own racehorses will not argue that their racehorse doesn't have mental issues.

Clydesdales and other huge horses tend to be non-aggressive. Because if a horse has hooves the size of a dinner plate and weighs as much as some cars, people do NOT breed them if they are prone to panic or aggression. Sure, the stallions (unfixed males) are more aggressive than the geldings (fixed males) but there are LIMITS on tolerable aggression, tolerable anxiety etc etc. An aggressive Clydesdale has a high chance of causing injuries that far exceed the value of the horse.

Racehorses? Oh, Buddy has anxiety issues? Uh, lets see if making a barn cat hang out with him and travel with him keeps him from panicking himself into a heart attack. Oh, he still panics... uh, does he do better with another horse? Oh, he does not do better, he gets aggressive and now we have humans who got their ribs kicked in. LETS KEEP TRYING BECAUSE HE RUNS REAL FAST. No, lets not geld (fix) him, breeding is a good source of money! Just, IDK, get more insurance and keeps trying new animals as his friends. Maybe Buddy likes goats? (There are tons of news stories about race horses travelling with goats and cats and dogs and whoever to try to keep them chill, because the race horse is too aggressive with horses)

They keep breeding the high anxiety and high aggression horses because they make money, and they keep getting more fucked up.

It isn't as obvious with dogs, in part because it's hard to tell what is a fucked up dog and what is a dog that needs more attention. There are gray areas, but sometimes you reach a point with a dog where the % risk of them getting injured because they are aggressive or anxious just gets too fucking high. Greyhounds are kinda fucked up, being obsessive sight hounds who zero in on what they wanna chase and cannot reasonably be trained to not chase, and some rescue dogs are badly fucked up because backyard breeders and breeding mills just churn out animals without anyone giving a shit for 5 sec about prone this breed line is to panic or aggression.

But it still happens in dogs bred for show lines because "they have a pretty coat" and the breeder is hoping the puppies are not too aggressive or obsessive to be trained to go in the show ring - or maybe they can sell the puppy young before anyone notices they are not suited mentally to the work.

Learning anything about marine mammal training will make you re-evaluate so much of your relationship with your own pets. There is so much force involved in the way we handle domestic animals. Most of it isn’t even intentional, it just stems from impatience. I’m guilty of it myself!

But with the exception of certain veterinary settings where the animal’s health is the immediate priority, why is it so important to us that animals do exactly what we want exactly when we want it? Why do we have to invent all these tools and contraptions to force them to behave?

When a whale swam away from a session, that was that. The trainer just waited for them to decide to come back. If they flat out refused to participate in behaviors, they still got their allotment of fish. Nothing bad happened. Not even when 20-30 people were assembled for a procedure, and the whale chose not to enter the medical pool. No big deal. Their choice and comfort were prioritized over human convenience.

It’s almost shocking to return to domestic animal medicine afterwards and watch owners use shock collars and chokers and whips to control their animals. It’s no wonder that positive reinforcement was pioneered by marine mammal trainers. When you literally can’t force an animal to do what you want, it changes your entire perspective.

I want to see that mindset extended to our domestic animals.

[inthenameofallthingsholy]

Fandom: Amphibia

Ship: Sashanne

Rating: Explicit

Au: Wrestling

Words: Glacier, Bronze, Miracle

Notes: Ima be completely honest with you, idk how pro wrestling works, I saw fighting with my family one time. I got wrestling au from a generator and thought “huh, that could work for a sashanne fic” so here we are. Also no beta go cry about it (jk ily)

The air was cold and damp on the September day that Anne Boonchuy started her career. She realized early on in her life that wrestling was what she wanted to do. She was 13 years old when she found the wonderful world of wrestling.

She was in the lunchroom  when she saw a guy Andrias (douchey name) harassing her friend, Marcy. She turned to her only other friend, Sasha, and instantly they knew what to do. Jumping up, they tackled him down to a pulp. They got detention of course, but it was worth it for the safety of their friend.

Luckily for them, the teacher on lunch duty also happened to be the coach of the women’s wrestling team at their school, so overnight Sasha and Anne became the school’s most powerful team players. 

Eventually, Sasha, Anne, and Marcy grew apart with Sasha being sent to boarding school by her parents and Marcy having to move away because of her dad’s job, but Anne never stopped working hard on her wrestling. 

After a long 2 years of bronze medals, she finally started racking up some wins as her trophy cabinet started filling with silver and gold. 

And now, 2 weeks after her 20th birthday, it was time for her to really start her career as Anne “The Beast” Boonchuy! 

Flashing back to the present day, Anne woke up ready to start her day. She brushed her teeth, got dressed into her blue workout clothes,  got her hair to a small semblance of normalcy, and said goodbye to her frogs, Hop-Pop, Polly, and Sprig, and her cat, Domino. 

She leapt out of her crummy pale blue apartment in LA with the enthusiasm of a dog on crack. She then jumped into her old, faded purple station wagon (with wood siding) she  affectionately named Bessie, and excitedly drove to her first practice as a pro-wrestler.

She did not however expect the face she saw when she got there. 

“Anne?” 

“Sasha?”

Staring directly at Anne was the blonde girl Anne had spent the majority of her childhood with.  

And she was super hot.

Fuck.

Since 8th grade Sasha had clearly worked out a lot more than Anne did. Every inch of her was tan and toned, with her hair tied in a small ponytail that couldn’t have amounted to anything below her shoulders when taken out. She wore a pink tank top, that clearly displayed her red sports bra underneath, and pink shorts that ended right around her mid thigh and clung to the muscles that were built up in her legs. 

Anne had no idea how to react. Was she jealous of Sasha’s muscles, or attracted to them? The problems with being a lesbian in sports, ladies and gentlemen. 

“Oh my god, girlfriend!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!” Sasha exclaimed, dropping her red duffle bag and pulling Anne into a painfully tight hug. 

“hEy…sAsH…” Anne gasped, struggling to breathe as Sasha held on so tight. “bEeN a bIt!”

Sasha quickly realized she held on to tight, and let go with a quick apology. 

“So! You do wrestling still?” Anne awkwardly asked.

“No I come here for donuts.”

“Very funny.”

Anne tried to hide her clear anxiety at seeing Sasha again. She hadn’t realized it in 8th grade, but in the years since Sasha left Anne realized that Sasha was her first crush. 

“So what’s your name?” Sasha broke Anne’s train of thought.

“I’m sorry?”

“Your name. Ya know, like Anne ��The Bitch’ Boonchuy or something” said Sasha.

“Actually it’s Anne ‘The Beast’ Boonchuy, but your idea was better.” Anne replied. “What about you?” 

“Oh i’m going strong with ‘Sasha The Slayer.’” 

“Your old nickname from middle school!” Anne said excitedly

“Nickname? Sweetie that was a title I rightfully earned for kicking asses!” 

The two of them shared a laugh as they remembered old times. Then a loud voice over the gym speaker system yelled to the 20 girls in the gym.

“ALLLLLRIGHHHHT LADIES IT’S TIME TO GET OUR WRESTLE ON!!!”

All the girls cheered before the voice continued.

“FOOOOOORRRRR TODAY, We will be having HEAD ON MATCHES Between you. Here are you opponents, IN ORDER OF FIGHT!!” 

Everyone cheered before silencing in anticipation. 

The person over the speaker said multiple pairings as more and more girls stood off with their opponents. Anne and Sasha eagerly waited before slowly realizing what was happening.

“AAAAAAANNNNDDDD Our LAST COMBOOO!! SASHA THE SLAYER VERSES ANNE ‘THE BEAST’ BOONCHUYYYYYYY!!”

Fuck. Again.

Anne and Sasha stood next to each other, waiting for the other to say something. They didn’t. Eventually, every team had gone (though in Anne’s opinion they all went at a glacial pace) and it was time for Anne and Sasha to fight.

Anne knew she was gonna lose, I mean look at Sasha, she’s fucking perfect, but Anne was more concerned about whether Sasha was gonna actually fuck her up bad or not. 

They got up into the ring, and began. 

By some miracle (again, Anne’s opinion) Sasha did not in fact kill her. 

Anne actually got a couple good take downs in before Sasha tore her strategy to shreds. 

————————————————

Afterwards, the two were in locker room getting changed and exchanging some usual post-match banter.

“Seems like I kicked your ass out there, Boonchuy.” Sasha said with a sly yet sexy smile

“Hey I got some good take downs in!” Protested Anne as she slowly realized that the two of them were alone in the locker room.

“Oh no I am fairly certain I won that fight.” 

“Only cause I forfeit”

“You forfeit cause you were stuck between my legs and couldn’t move”

Anne smirked “Sounds like a win for me more than for you.” 

In preparation to shower, the two of them both took of their shirts, leaving them both in bras.

Sasha laughed and slapped Anne with her shirt. “You are naughty! You’ve changed since 8th grade.”

“What do you mean! I’m still that bushy haired nerd you once knew.” Anne giggled

Sasha smirked quietly to herself “Yeah but you’re like hot now.” 

Then there was a silence as the two girls tried not to approach the awkwardness of that statement. 

Sasha dropped her shorts and grabbed a towel from her locker. Suddenly, she dropped the towel on the ground. 

Both Anne and Sasha reached for it, hands touching it at the same second. They looked up and noticed how close their faces were. The feel of their breaths on each other completely turned Anne on, and there was a sudden gravitational pull to Sasha’s lips that she could no quite describe

After about 20 seconds of silence, both holding the towel, Anne heard Sasha whisper something in a low yet soft voice

“Kiss me…”

Anne leaned in and went with the force that bound their lips together. What started as a soft touch turned into a full french as the passion grew around them. 

The kiss was legendary, the kind of shit people write songs and fairytales about. Then it became the shit people like E.L. James write about, full of fireworks like the two had never felt before

They stood up in kisses, eyes completely closed, and fumbled around the room without focus. Anne slammed Sasha into the red metal behind them, closing Sasha’s locker. 

Anne then moved on to kissing Sasha’s neck as Sasha felt Anne’s hands exploring new areas of her body. She felt tingles of Anne’s fingertips on her stomach, her thighs, her hips, her hair, anywhere she could imagine. It was an incredible feeling. 

Sasha then felt Anne’s hand on her boob, over the pink sports bra. Sasha then felt that the pink sports bra she earlier today thought was the most comfortable thing to wear, now constricted her more than any other item of clothing in the world, and had to be removed immediately. So with a nearly split second movement, it was gone and her boobs were in full display.

Anne played with Sasha’s tits for a little bit, kissing, licking, and sucking them to make her moan with anticipation, then moved on the real prize. 

She slowly moved down to the soaked white undies Sash wore. She traced her fingers down Sasha’s chest and stomach, which cause small gasps to release from the blonde woman. 

To Anne, this was the most stunning, angelic woman to ever exist. Her skin smelled like lavender and nostalgia as Anne removed her little undies. She kissed Sasha slowly as she gently entered her with two fingers. Sasha moaned through the kiss as Anne’s other hand reached in her hair, removing her hair-tie. Sasha’s short, blonde locks fell to her shoulders, nearly in Anne’s face, not that she cared. All she cared about was the mission at hand.

She felt Sasha was very open and went for the kill. She carefully put her two fingers into Sasha’s hole, trying not to let her excitement get the better of her. 

Sasha gasped loudly and squirmed with pleasure as Anne broke off a kiss and bent down. 

Anne added to the pleasure by not only moving her fingers in and out, but also using her mouth on her clit. 

She made sure to go slow, to ensure the pleasure would last longer, but it wasn’t too long before she noticed Sasha starting to tighten as she moaned louder and breathed harder. She was almost done..

So Anne decided to help Sasha go out with a bang and stretched her hand up real high to reach Sasha’s left boob, making sure to touch her hips and stomach lightly along the way.

Then as she hear Sasha scream “FUCK ANNE!!” She grabbed her tit and squeezed with all her might, feeling (and hearing) Sasha let go to her orgasm. It was so intense she nearly got a concussion from hitting her head on the locker behind her. 

Anne rose up and kissed her on the lips. “That good huh?” 

Sasha giggled. “Oh hell yeah, but nothing compared to what I’m gonna do to you.” She smirked. 

Anne prepared herself for the absolute earth-shattering feeling she was about to receive, and Sasha got to work…

End Notes: it’s 9:30 and I’ve been working on this single one shot for about a week. My ponytail was so crammed into my pillow while writing this I think i’m going to have a permanent indent in the back of my head from the elastic. So anyway I hope you enjoyed!!

[demonlandline]

Tylar omg i feel like I haven't seen you blog anything in forever! admittedly probably because I was not home, but... still... my life felt -empty-. How's the apprenticeship going dude?

lol i missed this ask but I'm assuming it was from last weekend when I wasn't home for like 4 days because I've been very terminally online this week.

But yeah, I took a lil break from blogging about little gay people to go be a little gay person in the real world and it was a very nice time full of friends and lovers and cats that I'm just so, so allergic to.

fucking adorable that your life feels empty without my nonsense tho lmao

Uhhhhhmmmmmm funny story about the apprenticeship. This is weird to explain and sounds fake but the studio I was meant to be starting at thinks i'm... too good for them and that they'd just be a stepping stone on my way to, idk, tattoo stardom or whatever. So they're helping me find a studio that's less commercial where I'll have more creative freedom and be around more like-minded people.

So uhm they kind of absolutely DOUSED me in compliments which was nice. But also now I'm applying at more places, and they all like me too, but don't have vacancies at the moment, and I don't want to wait around until they do so I might just ask the first place if they'll just train me anyway because I legitimately like the studio and I kinda don't know what the fuck they're talking about I'm literally just some guy.

Anyway my top pick studio got back to me today and said VERY NICE things to me but also that they don't have vacancies and don't know when they will so that's probably like 60-70% of why I'm anxiety spirally atm.

[crystalfoxxie]

How I'll be writing Swatch, Tasque Manager and Spamton from this point forward

Swatch

From what I can tell, his species really just looks the way they do without any specific familial connections. For a hot second I was pondering in my brain the idea of Swatchlings being genetically edited clones of him, but honestly if I'm trying to give him more character depth, this feels like a better route to take.

First off, he hatched late and tiny so he took extra long hatching. So they assumed he was a dud egg and left his egg outside on the sidewalk.

Queen would find the egg and tap the side to help him out, treating it like a game. Then she'll probably just Google how to handle him, idk.

She'll probably train him with a lot of training videos audiobooks and, hey remember how they have to smash fucking barrels for her amusement? Yeah, that'd probably also give him some wicked good reflexes and strength if he's been doing that since childhood.

Very reserved and closed off to himself at first, Swatch didn't exactly handle the Swatchlings all too well at first, often having a lot of social anxiety that would make him come off as unapproachable.

But after a while, he'd warm up and find a brotherly connection with them.

Tasque Manager (Tassy)

I'm already putting the circus cat comic into sketch. The backgrounds are a bitch-and-a-half but, y'know good practice.

So she will start out as an organic cat with black fur and white spots, living at the circus with her family

Despite it being a family business, Mr. Outlook preferred to shield his children and let them have normal childhoods, but when a bike stunt takes him, Ms. Excel has no qualms with pushing each of their children into roles she sees fitting.

Tassy never wanted to be lead acrobat. She found much more peace with training performance Tasques and going down checklists to make sure everything is in place, lacking any real emotional attachment, aside from her brother, to her family since her father's passing. She is very quiet at first and seems to shy away from the crowds.

Her brother, Zip was pushed towards stunt biking, despite his fear of them and tendency towards making scripts for the shows. An excitable kid with a quiet demeanor when he's without his mic, he loves to stand on anything that'll make him just a bit taller and go on announcement tangents for approval.

Illustrata is just having a good time in formation with her sisters, but she much prefers painting murals for the fairgrounds. Sing-song bubbly and sweet with a sour twist into passive aggressive when upset.

Powera wanted lead acrobat role, but her white coat blended in with her sisters and set her sister's black fur to the center stage. Very prim, proper and a bit of an attention seeker, she treats Tassy the most harshly and with the most ridicule.

And Wordina (I'm lazy-) just hates all the attention in general, performing silently and dipping as soon as the spotlight no longer requires her.

Swatch and Queen arrive for her majesty's amusement, but when Swatch notices that Tassy has taken herself to the top of a high beam, he comments that she seems to need company, recollecting how much happier the Swatchlings made him.

Queen leaves him for the festivities outside as the tent clears of performers and workers for their pre-show meals and he uses a rising platform to take himself to her level.

He has a conversation with her that conveys to him that neither she nor any of her siblings are happy with their positions, and he offers her a job at the castle training Tasques for Queen's entertainment and as pest control for the castle.

She hesitantly turns him down, and he respects her answer, backing off of the subject and giving her a genuine conversation that brings her a better mood.

Later for the performance, Tassy is meant to dance at the center of her siblings before ascending up a set of revolving steps that would slide out for her to step on when a Tasque pushed a button. This would drop a treat and open the door to the rest of the ramp to the next button.

But something goes wrong, and with her uncle not properly watching, a Tasque becomes stuck behind a faulty door. Too focused on her routine, she doesn't notice the missing step and falls. She expects to land in the net below, but she is smacked by the next step, sent flying into the ring of fire Zip was meant to take at the finale.

Queen and Swatch rush to save her and take her to the castle, but with how badly she was burned, they kind of just had to pull a Cave Johnson and GLaDOS her into her new body.

It's a shocking awakening, and after her "where am I, who am I, what happened" panic questions are answered, she's very angry, asking Swatch

"What is there left of me?! I'm not even a person anymore!"

A statement that is shut down quickly by Queen

"That's one way to look at robotics..."

Followed by a shower of apologies from Tassy.

While her majesty doesn't relate with the transition, she offers to help Tasque Manager understand her system and tells her to let it process. And she very easily shuts down any accusation of it being her doing, offering a recording of the event since she is a robo lady and it's that easy.

Spamton

He's already got a lot of story and a lot of characterization behind him, so I don't have to come up with much, but he'll be added to Tasque Manager and Swatch's social dynamic to form the classic "Three idiot best friends with complimenting qualities" trio.

Spamton is a bit quick to jump the gun, but he's the best negotiator out of either of them and the quickest thinker when it comes to ideas and distractions, often talking down situations and turning problems on their head.

Swatch is book smart, well-versed and strong with a very keen eye (when he has his glasses), often being the one to make observations of things others wouldn't notice and bringing small details into consideration for planning, but he lets things get to him personally and is very against harming others, holding himself to guilt even if the offender deserved it.

Tasque Manager's prim and proper attitude is an act for her castle work and status, but it falls away in favor of a harsher, tougher love and a "fuck it, I'll do it myself" mentality when everyone else falters. Constantly pulling the other two out of shenanigans, she both berates their poor decisions and comforts them when these decisions bother them, offering either of them vent sessions or conversation at any time of day or night as she is a wicked good multitasker in conversation and she can access and leave sleep mode with no hassle or grogginess.

The thing using Spamton has no qualms about using his charisma to manipulate Swatch into working on the machine and when Spam's condition begins to worsen, he cancels Tasque Manager's memory processing after he talks to her about these things.

When Spamton falls into the battery acid, I want Tassy to be the one that jumps in after him, telling Swatch

"CALL QUEEN AND DONT YOU MOVE A STEP CLOSER, I FUCKING MEAN IT."

Before sacrificing her robotic body and using her detached hands to push Spamton to the surface where Swatch will grab him (with specifically his left hand, which I will color white from that point forward).

Queen will have a small, tense window of time to wirelessly connect with Tasque Manager and transfer her data over for a new body.

After finding the massive problem the machine would have caused, they throw Spamton out and, feeling betrayed and hurt, Swatch and Tasque Manager will turn their attention to their work, separating and not interacting with each other again until No Yarn in the Halls.

Idk, I like this plan, what do you think?

[sugarvamgar]

you ever make some  Bastards? anfisa and valentine!  also the context of the little labels on valentine’s sheet is to like, number the parts of the story for me and my friend who’s working on this so we know when the hell in the story we’re talking abtsgddfg anyways more info abt them under the cut .. i love these bastards...

these two are in the same world as some of my other ocs - you can find them in my neontok tag under rum’s post for more information about the world nd stuff! if you do not want to look at it tldr its just me putting my more uh. “darker” concepts?? like these two! let’s continue into more info tho: so like, context! in this world, there’s this group of seven assassins who’s existence is.. very speculated. like, they’re a common myth. maybe not among all of society all around the world, but most people have heard folk stories of their existence at some point in their life. this group of assassins has existed for literal hundreds of years, and nobody knows how or why, so they just.. assume it’s a story. a myth. but it’s Not. the “seven” is actually countless people who have been trained throughout their family’s bloodlines as a tradition with every other generation’s first child - or in the case of assassins One and Two, the first two siblings. they’re all basically trained to do the exact same stuff as the original seven did, too. other than One and Two, the children don’t necessarily know each other, especially because usually they’re in completely different countries. anyways so, anfisa here used to be part of this. he was assassin Three, born and raised in russia, pretty much the only assassin of the seven to not be trained to be sneaky and quiet bc most of what he does is loud on purpose. he does know how to blend in among people normally and how to scramble away from people without getting hurt, but man. he is NOT graceful like the other six. he ends up defecting from the assassins (which is just him going. huh. fuck this <3) and leaving to not-america and goes. i will live a normal life now.          he ends up going. oh wait actually i hate how society is and how much of this city is controlled via bribes and crimes - what if i just. actively tried to cement myself in that world. what if i did crimes? i already did them before. he ends up gaining a mild following of people for this and they help him to do this.. the dude who runs the Local Crime Syndicate™ (at least, the largest one), jack, gets. very pissed off about this once anfisa’s group grows large enough scale. he employs this highly revered journalist bc in jack’s mind this goes. “oh, this guy is SO very good at picking people apart and getting into their business, and my stupid police force isn’t doing their fucking job right (lol), i’ll hire this dude. if he dies its barely any loss on my part. the journalist is valentine <3 idk his first name but he’s valentine and he is SO full of anxiety and has so much in common with anfisa about Hating Authority nd shit. this is a mistake on jack’s part who is blind as hell and cannot read valentine’s old articles + thinks he can bribe him with money to do whatever. valentine goes. <:( okay i will try i hate this but also money and also you are pointing guns at me and threatening to kill me if i Dont take the money and do this. valentine ends up joining anfisa and goes from anxious timid british (lol) bastard to mildly terrifying and willing to organize and command a group of people with anfisa who are actively trying to like, overthrow a straight up  crime syndicate organization thing that Also has quite a large hold on a lot of businesses and government related stuff in the city. and SUCCEEDS for the most part. he is very good at this and it scares the group so much esp with the fact that it grows from like 6 or 7 people to like, over 50 or more in like.. a year. shoutout to anfisa he intentionally picks on valentine bc he thinks this guy is cute. when valentine is lowkey stalking getting research on anfisa/the group, anfisa notices and goes. :) im going to make your life so very difficult but in an only slightly annoying way. you got knocked out one day so i stole your tie and then the next time you saw me on the news you saw me wearing it around my arm like a trophy. valentine is so very annoyed and takes all of anfisa’s mild friendly torment as This Little Man Hates Me So Fucking Much. Why Does He Want Me DEAD also shoutout x2 to anfisa for being great at working with machines and learning how to put foot pedals on his motorcycle so he can switch the seat around to like, a pedal control board and ride it like a skateboard. this is dangerous and very, very impractical. he does not care. he’s having fun ps. if you think valentine is similar to a certain someone you’re right. its on purpose. i “steal” canon characters all the time (see: idk, not often actually) with friends bc its very fun to see how you can reinterpret a character without it being basically an au of the original character. TLDr if you can make a connection with the other character; good! just know he’s still his own thing and its on purpose and i love him. ps. x2/bonus i named anfisa after cat no banana <3 also anfisa (анфиса) means flowering/blossoming. i have made anfisa allergic to bananas and have given him plant themed clothingLKJGFDLKJG

ps. x3 im planning on drawing the rest of this team and talking about them but i want to post them all at once. i honestly wanted to do that here but i havent posted in 9 days so i. went ahead and just posted these two and gave their info since its more than, yknow, nothing? ps. x4 (help i have so many notes) literally i never put any of my stories on earth but then dont make any effort to make the contries non-earth countries bc like. *gestures vaguely* man idk how to do that and dont have the energy to make new cultures nd stuff on my free time??? im not doing this for a professional story??? so like. yeah. anyways so anfisa is Not from russia. he’s russian. valentine is british. britain doesn’t exist. make of that what you will. anyways. that is all. thank you. i kiss you for reading this. if you have questions please ask me them i have so much information all the time and it shows me theres interest in this

[shattered-catalyst]

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person.  Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

 There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame.  The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

  We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

 Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

 For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

 Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD.  Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma. 

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point. 

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

 Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening, 

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

 It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes. 

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs. 

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those.  Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear  a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’ 

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest. 

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible. 

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

 It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

 However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

 Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness.  There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

 This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.  

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence. 

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

 Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities.  There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype. 

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD.  With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows. 

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.  That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things. 

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

[mod2amaryllis]

I'm sure you've received this question a hundred times but do you have some tips for training a deaf puppy? Thank you and sorry to bother you

OK YEAH SO definitely don’t consider training to be an area of expertise but Goose turned out decent so here are some things:

first thing: make sure you’re prioritizing just like, approaching it as A Puppy, and puppies are hard as a baseline. find a class to join for basics if your dog does well in a class setting (my area had a free puppy class option that worked great for Goose, look into it, but I DO think this is something worth spending money on if you have to). then my most recommended puppy literature is: Social, Civil, and Savvy: Training & Socializing Puppies to Become the Best Possible Dogs. it’s almost impossible for me to pay attention to nonfiction books and a lot of dog training books are really crunchy technical, but this book is super short, lots of pictures, big text, straightforward. I had an easy time absorbing it and the stuff works. awesome awesome training guide. also a good podcast is Drinking From the Toilet, which has had specific puppy and deaf training eps

AND BLANKET STATEMENT: socializing is just in general the most important thing for a puppy. like exposing them to new things. expose them to all types of people, all types of animals, all types of situations, all types of floors rooms buildings grass discomforts yadda yadda yadda this is JUST as important for a deaf puppy. blanket ass statement.

NOW FOR SOME DEAF DOG SPECIFIC STUFF

general stuff before I share personal observations: resources I turned to the most were probably Deaf Dogs Rock (awesome equipment recs, so many anecdotes from owners w/ specific advice) and Keller’s Cause (neat little training videos)

ok now personal experience

in the context of training it was helpful for me to think of deafness more as just another attribute as opposed to a disability. like how being a mini aussie makes her creepy-smart, being deaf makes her: not hear (obviously), highly observant, potentially more confident in situations that might intimidate hearing dogs, easily startled, dependent on passive training as opposed to command training. basically it’s not a hurdle. it forces you to be creative and work within her attributes. just like with literally any other dog.

obviously you will use signing. I don’t use ASL, I come up with whatever is intuitive for Goose and me. early training feels like you need 3 hands cuz you’re giving treats, you’re signaling “good job,” you’re signing commands, you’re maybe holding a leash, it’s a lot. so my signs had to be with 1 hand, they had to be intuitive, they had to be distinct from one another to avoid confusion. a few examples: SIT is a closed fist (I feel like most people already do this with their dogs); TOUCH is two fingers offered; LAY DOWN is those two fingers being lowered to the floor; SPEAK is a hand being opened rapidly. I have more but you get the picture. I actually have a notebook where I’d doodle commands as I went cuz I was literally just flying by the seat of my pants lmao

passive training has been clutch. this is kennel training, car training, leash training, basically establishing her life routine (idk if it’s actually called passive training??? i’m sure it all falls under “”””socializing”””” but that’s such a huge umbrella). these areas can be difficult to settle into but they really are essential. I don’t have car advice cuz my dogs drive w/ me to work every day and are fine so IDK WHOOPS but:

leash training: with goose being deaf it was weird because the trainer I worked with was heavily reliant on voice commands. so I put a LOT of time into the loose-leash game, which is walking on a leash in the house, and every few steps, you give the dog a treat AT YOUR SIDE. like hold your hand right by your leg. basically the idea is to teach your dog it’s cool and fun to stay by your side and check in with you every now and then. Goose still pulls on her leash but in a manageable way, and she knows to check back with me. also definitely rec a halter. this one’s my favorite.

kennel/sleep training (gonna spend a lot of time on this one cuz it was/is the worst thing about Goose): listen. this one will be hard. this one’s gonna suck. you will be SO tempted to just let them in your bed but you really, REALLY should not. letting them in the bed can foster separation anxiety especially with a deaf dog who’s probably gonna become your shadow. kennels instill confidence by giving a dog their own space, and if ever there’s an emergency when they need to go in the kennel, it’ll help them feel safe. like there’s so many reasons to kennel train. you gotta do it.

so...as a baby, Goose like almost killed me with sleep deprivation. we initially didn’t think we’d keep her (haha hubris) so she slept out of the bedroom. And Screamed. the ultimate solution was bringing her kennel in the bedroom next to Joanie’s kennel, and we’re pretty sure the reason that solved it is because she could wake up and SEE that there was another dog there. now she loves her kennel. shoots in there every night demanding her pb kong. BUT YEAH LISTEN if you DON’T HAVE some comforting visual/kinetic reassurance there, this could be a problem for a deaf puppy. AND. AND. the problem hasn’t gone away completely. Goose wakes us up at 5:30 am every single morning and probably will for the rest of her life because THAT is her routine and she is immune to our angry tired yelling. the simple act of us going to her kennel reinforces the behavior. we’re not jerks about it cuz we love her and understand how dog brains work. This Could Happen To You. Heads Up.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS: big sister dog like Joanie, worked for us; a floor fan creating vibrations, seemed to help her as a very young kiddo; being at least IN VIEW of you sleeping, like having the kennel riiiiight next to the bed, even within arm’s reach so you can reassure the puppy you’re still there. just...both in personal experience and in my research, I saw it a lot that sleeping is a big issue. cuz they can’t hear you, it’s dark, they don’t know if you’re still there, and committing to STILL attempting kennel training is the harder thing to do, but I really, really encourage you to try.

WOW. ok. fuck off I typed way more than I meant to. wanna hear some funny stuff?

Goose follows us around everywhere. she simply must know what’s goin on. we have beds stationed at every visual corner of the house, like sentry posts, so whatever room we’re in there’s a comfy place for her to sit where she can see us and she takes advantage of it. like she could be sleeping in one room and I’ll get up to brush my teeth, suddenly look down and she’s just teleported already asleep in the nearest bed to me.

sometimes Goose knocks on the door to come inside, and I’ll go to the door to let her in, and at literally the nanosecond before I open the door she dog-shrugs and turns and trots away and there’s nothing I can do. can’t call out to her. I’m bamboozled.

she is so fucking loud. I remember when she was a baby and my sis in law was like “wow so I bet she’s quieter than normal dogs huh” and I laughed like no actually she sounds like a rubber chicken going for that 4 chair turn on the voice, at ALL times.

sometimes I’ll do the speak command and she’ll do this huge windup, like big breath, eyes wide, and then release what is essentially a very little hiccup. but i still have to give her the treat. she doesn’t know the difference, not really.

always delighted to be woken up by you, wiggles her feet and starts licking her lips and looking up at you like “!!!! hello!!! omg!!! wow!!! a delight!!!”

doesn’t know the cats don’t like her. will trot up to Frisk and give what is in her mind a very polite little kiss on her nose before trotting away, oblivious to the offended growl she’s just elicited.

MUST BE PET. HOW ELSE WILL SHE KNOW SHE IS LOVED. MUST BE PET AT ALL TIMES NOW EVERYWHERE PLEASE.

...

realizing i could write a book about how much i love this deaf fucker

[thedappleddragon]

hooooo my fucking god I don't know why but recently my anxiety/sence of dread has SKYROCKETED in the last 3 days, I haven't been sleeping great and last night I had an anxiety dream about manning the register at work. idk I guess today was fine but im so fucking overstimulated I guess?? I seriously just dont fuking know. but anyway here’s a summary of some days that I may or may not remember. putting it under the cut

Wednesday I was exited to work, they didn’t need me, I hung out with my friends at their outdoor band concert and had boba and it got super cold out

Thursday I went with my dad to drop off a car, then we had breakfast together at a little restaurant I had never been to before. He told me about his childhood n stuff. Then I went to work and priced things outside and felt good about helping some people buy plants even tho I didn’t know exactly what I was doing and ended up handing them off to Becky anyway. Got off work, came home, hung out waiting to be able to go visit my friend but she took a while so dad and I made the snack he had a lot as a kid which was just handmade chocolate frosting on graham crackers. Eventually my friend got home so I grabbed one of those graham crackers in some Tupperware and some other stuff and headed out. It was a longer drive than I was expecting but eh whatever, I got there no problem with a bunch of dad’s shit in the back of the car. We had awkward hellos in her apartment and I pet her fat ass cat until she suggested we go thrifting and oh my god I had never wanted to go thrifting more in my life than right then. I had one of those moments where I realized oh I’m an adult who can go out and just DO things :D so we walked around and gossiped in goodwil and had a great time until they closed, whereupon steph frantically looked for anything that was open near us while I drove around. We settled on going to a little park nearby, where we climbed on the tube with holes on it and swung on the swings. Then we walked around a dense tree/brush like and into the middle of a field, having our main character moments as we walked to the top of a hill with a cross on it. I took a picture of the sunset and a selfie with both of us before we walked back through the field and drove back to her apartment. I gave her 2 tiny flower jars and she let me borrow her container of earring hardware and a bunch of different tiny things to make into earrings. I had a great time and I’d love to hang out again, maybe when everything isn’t closed lmao. We joked a lot about understanding why people do drugs lmao since there’s nothing else to do! everything’s closed!! Also some joke flirting mixed in for flavor. We have an excuse to hang out again so I can return her earring supplies and she can return my Tupperware lol. I thought my phone was going to die on the way home before I realized there was a charging cord in the car! Nice. Got home, watched my friend stream plasmaphobia for a bit while I finished a birthday gift, and hung out and slept when she quit streaming. 

Friend’s birthday party day!! Also dad moving day!! The first task of the day was to drive with my dad down to the nearest uhaul to pick up a big ol’ truck, and follow him home in the car while he lead the way in the truck. Then we brought his car full of shit to the apartment, got his key and paid his first month, and looked through everything to do inspection. Tbh it’s a pretty nice apartment, I’d love to spend some time there once it’s a bit more furnished. My favorite part is a Harry Potter style hidey hole closet that’s meant for storage, but it’s the perfect size for a secluded hangout spot for me. I’ll totally let him use it for storage if he wants, I just like sitting in there. I joked that I would let Emily hang out in the spare bedroom and I could get the tiny room. But we spent time cleaning and looking around and bringing in boxes before dad sent me to pick up lunch, my sister, and another car load of boxes. I left to do all 3 and came back with Mcallisters, and we all sat on the floor and ate together. A very nice way to break in a new apartment. We brought in boxes and dad sent us on a quest to pick up a car part and drop it off where the car we dropped off the day before. We got there just fine, but getting to the second location was a nightmare because of all my wrong turns and u turns and no left turns, it was awful. I mean we got there eventually but still. By then it was time for me to get home so I could wash my hair and get ready for the party!! I got everything ready, but my sister wouldn’t be home with the car on time, so I just took my mom’s van. I was on time for once!! But in exchange I didn’t realize I had forgotten Cassidy’s gift until I was like 3 minutes away. But also I found driving my moms van very easy compared to last time I tried to drive it, and I think I’m a much more confident driver now :) but I was one of the first to arrive, accidentally twinned with cass, waited for everyone to show up, met her new dog, and then we all packed up the picnic basket and walked to the top of a hill to have our little sandwiches and play cards against humanity. On the walk there we passed by a park where little kids were asking why we were all dressed up if it wasn’t Halloween, so I shouted at them that it was her birthday and handed them the branch I was carrying. We played CAH on the hill and ate little sandwiches and meatballs and drank sparkling juice and had a lovely time, and when we were done, we walked back to her house where there was pizza and we all changed out of our formal wear. My bra was sewed into my dress with 6 stitches, so I grabbed some scissors and flashed my friend’s cat as I cut my bra free of the dress because I forgot to bring an extra. I changed into my ghostbusters shirt and snake onesie and joined everyone outside for pizza and lots and lots of stories and ice cream cake and gossip and quiplash and balloons and gifts and CAH and friends leaving and new friends arriving and more quiplash and then the grass getting cold and wet and going ham on keeping the balloons up and then playing that’s what she said (basically CAH but ✨for women ✨) and by this time there was a dude I didn’t know but he was very nice and cute and already taken. Tbh I didn’t know half the people there, there was a group of 4 cool alt people I had never met and then the 4 band kids I already knew but everyone else seemed to know each other and they all had great energy so I yelled a lot and joked a ton and had an amazing time. As the crowd dwindled and the night got cooler, I helped put things away before I left so I could be a nice guest, said my goodbyes, gathered my things, and drove home past midnight. Ask walked around the house turning off lights like my mom asked, I realized that my dad wouldn’t be sleeping here anymore, and I felt bad that he had to spend the night all alone in his new apartment :( and this is going to be a huge financial burden that idk if he can afford, rent for the apartment is almost as much as my mom pays for the house. Jejdjgjt this is all a mess and I would like to go back to ignoring it all <3 Listened to a lot of two trucks by lemon demon lmao

Hoo boy howdy I did a lot of shit today. Basically as soon as I woke up I got a text from dad about us helping him move with a promise of donut holes and a fruit platter. I walked out to the garage to find our family friends the drakes helping to move boxes, so we all spent several hours loading boxes into our cars and driving back and forth from the house to the apartment, with emily and I avoiding the drakes as much as possible lmao. When we had moved as much as we could in the car, we started loading up the uhaul, shoving as much shit in there as possible so we only had to do one trip there and back. Partially through unloading the truck the drakes stopped cleaning things before we brought them in left and some randos from dad’s work came to help unload and somewhere in the middle of all this our aunt and uncle and her service dog came to visit?? Bruh idk so much stuff happened. Emily asked me to take her home so she could work on school stuff and we put things back into the garage and I went back to the apartment to help with stuff and hang out with my aunt while my dad and uncle returned the truck. We made a list of stuff I might need for college and I wrote it down on a notepad and most of the page space was taken up by ponies tbh. The men brought back burger king and eventually my aunt and uncle left. I helped my dad clean up and set up his wifi and we watched mama Mia. It was my first time seeing the film, and it was really dang fun. Then I made dad drive me ho e since emily was still gone with the silver car. I’ll spend he night over there eventually, but not yet. I’m exited to eventually invite friends over since I’ve never been able to do that before. So now I’m home trying g to go to sleep so I can work tomorrow. I keep thinking about smoking weed and making out with someone in the hidey hole in dad’s apartment............ even tho I have literally no one to do that with afsagssg I’m a CHILD. 

Had dreams last night about being stuck on the infinity train again, except there was a mechanic of switching the world between 2d and 3d and the cast of Bluey had to help bingo go through stages of grief / character moments to help her get off the train or something. I was tossing and turning for a few hours anxiously waking up thinking I was gonna be late and going back to bed so I could sleep/dream more. But then I finally got up, fed my cat, fed myself, helped clean the kitchen a little bit, got ready for work, arrived 15 minutes late on accident, worked register for 6 hours, got more comfortable with register and learned how to do stuff, lots of friendly people, lots of me struggling and my bones hurting, dad brought me food but I couldn’t get to my lunch break until everything was room temperature. The chicken sandwich reheated well but the fries did not. After work dad and I stopped by the house, I got an info card to fill out so I can be called in for jury duty eventually, dad handed me $50 for dinner for us and my sister, we laid on the floor and looked at the noodles and company menu, drove there, picked up our food, had a lovely dinner at dad’s apartment, laid around while he talked to Greg on the phone, went to target to pick up small apartment things like a clock and a trash can and some small groceries but it made me nervous because I hate spending money and watching my dad spend money he may or may not have, and by then we were tired as shit and after dropping his stuff off emily and I drove home and I tried teaching her how to crochet for a school project. Now I’m hanging out wanting to go to bed and thinking about how everybody else my age working at ACE is doing like 60 hours a week with 2 jobs and saving for college and I’m just sitting here with probably 14 hours a week and fuck. I don’t want to spiral into shit, I just want to keep busy as much as possible. Maybe I’ll ask for as many work hours as possible, maybe I’ll ask my friends to hang out, idk. Right now I jut want to be busy so I don’t have to think about anything. I’ll spend as much time as possible helping my dad set up his apartment, I don’t care.

WAAAAA TODAY AT WORK WAS SO STRESSFUL, I LEFT FELLNG SO FRAZZLED IT SUCKED. basically I worked register for 4 hours but they’re all trying to ween me off asking for help to get me more comfortable, and we were surprisingly busy, and my garden boss becky asked me to do 2 extra things and my boss boss kept asking about paperwork that I couldn't fill out because I needed my sister to text me something, and an old man got mad at me over the phone because no-one was out there to fill his propane tank and I had a lady waiting for 10 minutes for someone to help load salt into her car and a middle aged man tried to use sarcasm at me while I was in friendly cashier mode aND IM SORRY I HAVE ADHD I DONT GET IT PLEASE S T O P and I tried answering the phone more and I didnt get the things done that becky asked and I left shit there because I just wanteD OUT. afterwards I went to target to get something, idk im writing this afterwards so I not really remember 

and today, my day off. ugh god I dont remember what I did, I know I picked up a vent for my mom’s bathroom and I just went to go get Taco Bell with my sister and bought her some more about crocheting and she’s making progress :) tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and last year I made her a felt doll of her fursona, so today I started making a crochet doll for her. so far I have the body and libs, but I still need to make the muzzle, tail, ears, attach everything, and hand-sew on all the markings and glue on button eyes. or maybe felt eyes, idk. my stomach hurts and I got upset because I told my mom my cat may be sick because her pee looked suspicious so I crocheted and watched my little pony and now I have a headache and im just trying to listen to music but really I just want to watch 50 arms videos at once but it wasn't loading right and idk man I dont know what’s happening, I may be going into work tomorrow. I think now that I have a job to do 3-4 times a week, I dont feel like I can just chill and wing it anymore, it’s like I have plans forever now. and oh god I still have to sig up for college orientation night or whatever, but my mind hasn'tt been on college for like a month or longer. I think im just going to take some Advil and try to relax with my cat and my music. holy shit dude. I know none’s gonna read this but just. fuck. also I should really post these more frequently rather than let them pile up in my texts. thinking about going back and adding all the dates like I did with my early quarantine diary, but that feels like a lot of work