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manicrouge · 9 months ago

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SIN CITY

[𝙺𝚎𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚁𝚞𝚜𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]

[𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍]: 09/02/24

[𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝]: Rorke finds the Ghost's and you fear you're never going to see Keegan again.

[𝙲𝚠]: Major character death, violence, gore, graphic injury, hurt/ comfort, reader goes THROUGH IT, idk if there's anything else.

[𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝]: 7k (exactly btw)

[𝙰/𝙽]: This has literally been in my drafts since Decemeber and I wrote way too much of it to not do anything with it so = I hope this is enough to suffice. Also, this is entirely based off of the mission 'Sin City' in call of duty ghosts, so if you haven't seen or played the game and don't want spoilers then please skip this !! (I would be surprised if you've not seen this yet you're in the Keegan tag.)

Also, if people do enjoy this I am down to write a part two so please let me know :3

ENJOY !!

There may be typos, apologies!!

Please don't post my work anywhere else without my permission !!

‘If I ever went missing, would you go and look for me?'

It was silent for a moment, and after five seconds passed, you turned to look at the man lying beside you. As you observed his features, you realised that his eyes were closed and while you doubted someone’s ability to dose off so quickly, you sure as shit didn’t doubt Keegan’s. His hand on your waist gave him away as it tightened on you, pulling you closer to him.

Opening his eyes, he peered at you with a furrowed brow. ‘The fuck kinda question is that, princess?’ He asked, ‘of course I would. Besides, need you with me,’ he said, ‘who else would I have to watch my back? Didn’t spend all that time training you for you to disappear on me, did I?’

Smug bastard.

'You're full of yourself,' you bit back.

'Good reason to be,' he said, brushing a hand through his black hair, moving his fringe away from his eyebrows, 'I'll consider being humble when I lose you, princess. But that hasn't happened and it won't be happening on my watch, not at all,' he reassured, pulling you closer to him.

You slapped his chest, letting out a heavy sigh, resting your head against his chest. In the dead of the night and the silence in your room, you listen to the thud of his beating heart while held up on a tiny bed. You were practically on top of him, legs intertwined.

There wasn't anywhere to go, however, and he didn't seem to care about you closeness at that moment. Rather, he settled with the heat of your body much better than he would have settled in a bed with more space.

'You think this'll ever be over?' you mumbled, closing your eyes, 'I'd like to sleep in a bigger bed with you; this ones a little cramped. Maybe even watch something on a TV too.’

'You're free to take the floor if you want to, I'm not stopping you,' he grunted, pinching your waist.

'I'm gonna blow your brains out,' you sleepily mumbled, placing your hand over his. His chest twitches as he lets out a short laugh, folding his arm behind your head so he can brush his fingers through your hair. 'I mean it,' you grumbled.'

'Of course you do, princess,' he said, 'of course you do.'

—

Throughout your training as a Ghost, you gained an understanding that things will never ever be as easy as you wish they were. But, it came with the job, you suppose, whether it was spoken or not.

Feelings as such only ever drift in when you don’t have a distraction, and the absence of Keegan after Elias sent him to Colorado Springs proved to be bruising.

Admittedly, you had been apprehensive with Elias’ request, although, in private, you digressed as you noted that Elias is your Captain, and you were to never question your captains judgement. Even when it came to someone that you loved. So, you bit your tongue, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, you allowed yourself to relax.

But, you have some things you needed to do before you got any sleep, or before you thought about anything else other than Rorke and the Federation.

‘JSOC’s going to want to move fast on this, so load up before you get any shut eye,’ he advises.

You follow behind him, standing beside Logan as he walked with Hesh and Merrick by his side. Fortunately, the brunt of the experience has been dealt with, you had survived Keegan’s absence overnight, and in a matter of hours, he would be back by your side. Inwardly, you’re embarrassed at your clinginess to him, but deep down you know he enjoys it.

‘We’ve got six hours until Keegan gets back,’ Elias says.

Upon the mention of his name, Riley brushes his head against your leg, and you look down at the German Shepherd, rolling your eyes. Leaning down slightly, you scratch his head. ‘Shut up,’ you grumble to the pup when he looks up at you, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth. When you pull your hand away, he licks it, staring back at you. With a huff, you fold to his attempt of cuteness, moving your hand to the his head again.

‘Hold up,’ Merrick says abruptly.

An arm grabs your forearm suddenly, and you let out a startled breath, though when you look in front of you, you realise you’d almost walked right into Hesh. Exhaling, you turn your head to Logan who gives you a short nod.

‘Somethin’ feel off to you?’ Merrick asks, turning to Elias.

The man immediately turns to his right, observing a laptop left perched on a desk. He says little for a moment, and when you turn your head away from your Captain, you acknowledge Merrick’s watchful eye as he peers down the scope of his gun, observing the sights through the broad windows located to the left of you.

‘Security’s working,’ says the man to the right of you.

Merrick slowly backs away, keeping his eyes trained o the window. You feel your throat tighten as you keep your eyes on the man, his paranoia working well to leave a heavy feeling in your chest. Logan lets go of your arm as he glances at his brother, a look that you don’t miss, and Merrick looks at you. You open your mouth to speak, holding the gun in your hands close to your chest, snapping your head to Riley as the dog begins to bark, glaring directly through he window that Merrick had just kept his eyes trained on.

While he may be a dog, he is surely not an idiot- in fact, you’re quite sure that Riley is much smarter than many of the people you had encountered when you had been a simple rookie, before Elias had taken you under his wing. He could certainly kill more people, that’s for sure.

It all seems to happen in slow motion, and the night you had spent prior seems to dissipate in one moment. There’s this hissing, you hear it from below, and before you have time to contemplate what exactly it is, a black can is thrown over the balcony, a train of green smoke pouring from out of the top of it.

‘Fuck,’ you curse, ‘get out!’ you yell, watching as another two cans containing the same foul smelling gas are tossed over the balcony, hitting the ground with a clink.

As you begin to sprint, you find the air around you is similar to the air you breathed whenever you were spending time with Keegan on his smoke break. All oxygen left your lungs as you broke into a sprint, your eyes water, and before you know it, you falling down to the ground, gasping for air as you feel your eyes grow heavy.

In the midst of the panic and over the thumping of your heart in your chest, you hear Elias call out, ‘Riley, hide!’ before breaking out into a fit of coughs.

You wretch, clawing at the ground in some form of futile attempt to escape, but nothing works as you watch Logan collapse right before you, spewing out violent coughs. Never have you felt so defenceless, so weak as you succumb to the gas, the world around you growing blurry before fading into complete darkness.

—

‘What are you doing up, kid?’ Keegan asks, seeing you appear beside him.

Letting out a small yawn, your boots crunch against a few stray rocks as you approach him, taking a seat against the rock he was leaning on, looking out at the remnants of No Mans Land. Logan and Hesh had regarded it as their home, as did their father, though, you couldn’t really picture the place without the addition of a crater which grew every day, claiming the lives of old rickety buildings and unsuspecting wildlife.

It was a sorry sight to see for sure, and inwardly, you were happy you never had the misfortune of seeing your own home falling to pieces.

‘You need sleep,’ he said, taking a drag from the cigarette between his lips.

Your eyebrows raise as you look at him, crossing your arms over yourself. ‘I thought you said you didn’t smoke,’ you say, 'you're a liar.'

You didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes at your comment, and when he pulls it from his lips, exhaling a cloud of grey smoke, he chuckles. ‘Thought I told you not to hang onto every little thing I tell you, princess,’ he stated, ‘seems like we’re both guilty of doing something we’re not supposed to, hm?’

Placing the cigarette between his lips again, he turns his attention to you, noting that you’d crinkled your nose as the smoke he’d exhaled blew back into your face. ‘You can handle the fuckin’ dust in the battlefield, but the moment you smell a cigarette you fold?’ he mocks, laughing.

Your brow furrows at his comment and you fought of the urge to rip the cigarette out of his mouth. Instead, you allowed him to have his silly little cancer stick knowing that, if you did so something so cruel, he was sure to be upset at you, no matter how close the pair of you were. Cigarettes were difficult to come by and you liked him enough to let him have one in peace.

—

When the world fades in, you’re moving.

You don’t know how, and for a short second, you’re convinced you’ve died. But, when you take a sharp breath and feel your lungs burning, you’re crudely brought back to life. When you look ahead of you, you witness two soldiers trailing behind you. Keeping your head bowed, you wince at the dizziness wrecking your tired mind, attempting to hold your breath in fear of the due ache in your lungs.

Swallowing, your mouth is dry and you feel the urge to vomit as your head keeps swaying from side to side. Your limbs feel like jelly, fluid. You can hear them talking, although, everything seems miles away from you, and you feel your eyes water as the tightness in your chest grows. If they know you’re here, do they know where Keegan is? The thought sends a chill down your spine, and in your delirious state, you declare that you will kill anyone who even dared to touch even a hair on his head. Even if it meant your death too.

‘That all you got you piece of shit?!’

It’s Merrick, you recognise his tone from anywhere, it nearly shatters your delirious state entirely, though, the grip on the back of your collar tightens as your pulled away from him.

There’s more shouting and a loud smack, Merrick, you imagine, is on the receiving end of such a hit. A Ghost in true fashion, that’s for sure. As you attempt to lift your head again, you find the world growing dark once more, and, while you feel as though you should fight against it just as you had seen him do, you allow yourself to fall back into the abyss as you feel your lung burning and throat swelling.

—

There’s a screeching when you come back around, a vile ringing in your ears. ‘Well, I guess if you want something done right, do it yourself.’

Your blood runs cold.

As you slowly begins to lift your head, a hand grabs your face, forcing your head up. The light protruding from the window to the left of you is nearly bruising, and when the hand holding your face successfully tilts your head up, your eyes meet with Rorkes. He looks down at you with a wrinkled smirk, his hold tightening on your hair, yanking it harder. You wince at the pressure as he keeps his eyes on you.

‘You’re finally awake,’ he acknowledges, pushing your head down, letting go of your hair. ‘Good.’

He walks away from you, and as you look around, you note that Hesh is sitting directly across from you, Logan is to the right of you, and Elias is to your left.

As you continue to look around, your face pales at the disappearance of Merrick, and while you sit, you recall the faint memory in your banging head of the man being surrounded by Federation soldiers.

He’s smart, you think, you could leave that bastard in a forest with a knife and he’d have his own fuckin’ city in a month. He’s fine.

‘Nice to have the family back together, isn’t it?’ Rorke asks, looking to Elias. The man shows no fear, looking the devil right in the eyes with a stoic expression on his face. ‘One thing, though,’ he says, ‘we’re just missin’ our quiet friend, aren’t we?’ he says.

Your heart calms at such a statement.

He doesn’t have him, he’s fine, he’s safe.

You expect him to keep his eyes trained on Elias, counting on the fact that he is the Captain, but, he turns his head over his shoulder and looks at you. Heaving a heavy sigh, he turns his back to Elias, placing his hands down on his knees, ‘where’s Keegan?’

Looking him in the eyes, you spite your dry throat as the muscles in your neck contort and you muster up a mouthful of phlegm. He keeps his eyes trained on you, and you lung forward, a spray of mucus and saliva coating his face. ‘Fuck you,’ you heave, ‘I’m not telling you a fuckin’ thing,’ you sharply state.

He looks at you with wide eyes, standing up and wiping his face with the palm of his hand.

‘Damn bitch has got some fight in her, doesn't she?’ he laughs, turning to Elias, ‘not your daughter by blood, but by attitude… fuck me, Elias, you’ve got yourself a mini me!’ he exclaims. You bite your lip, taking a deep breath as you look at your Captain with bleary eyes. Grabbing the back of the man’s chair, he pulls it to him. Elias’ gaze doesn’t leave his. ‘Where is he?’ he slowly questions.

There’s a moment of silence.

‘You know I’m not telling you a damn thing,’ he spits, baring his teeth in his direction.

Never have you seen the man so agitated, his bruised face flushed red, his split lip oozing with blood, a thin line of it trailing down his chin. He looks like a savage beast as the sunlight behind him renders his features darker than typical, and the curve of his lips when he addresses Rorke even sends a shiver up your spine.

Of course, a Ghost was loyal to his own until death, and even then, they were buried down to watch over them. Once a Ghost, always a Ghost. Elias proved his worth much more than Rorke ever could, and while you wondered what exactly they had done to break the man who Elias had described as ‘one hell of a Ghost,’ but one thing was for certain. A man who broke was not a Ghost. Never was, and never would be.

’Go fuck yourself,’ Elias hisses.

Rorke laughs, nodding his head, letting go of the back of his chair. It lands with a clatter, and you watch as the man continues to nod to himself.

‘Dangerous fuckin’ game you’re playing,’ he states, and you watch as his right hand moves from the front of him, trailing around to the side where his pistol sat in his holster.

He’s gonna shoot Elias. Your eyes grow wide as you watch the man retrieve his weapon. Your muscles tensing as he holds it out in front of him. It’s aimed right at his chest, overing above his heart. ‘Well, let's see if I can change your mind,’ he exhales.

BANG.

In a moment, his hand whips around, and when the trigger is pulled, all the air in your lungs exudes like puss from a pimple.

The shot causes your ears to ring. It’s loud, and everything is fuzzy. For a moment, you look up in search of the wound, hoping that the bullet had not went through your Captains skull. Only, when you look in his direction, you see the smoking pistol pointed directly at you. Your eyes grow wide, and you let out a short breath.

You heard the gun go off, the bullet had to be somewhere. And then, you felt a wetness pooling against your thighs. Everything seemed to move slowly when you raised your head up, looking across to Hesh with wide eyes.

I’m going to die, I’m going to die and Keegan isn’t here with me.

As you manage to get a short breath in, agony hits you like a truck and you lean over without a second thought.

I’m going to die.

All you training, everything, how to stop the bleeding, none of it matters; you’re truly at the disposal of the enemy and there’s nothing you can do. Not even you Captain can do anything.

‘NO!’ Elias screams, dragging you back into the moment.

Between the thudding beats of your heart, you hear Hesh screaming out bloody murder, thrashing against the ropes that keep him tied to the chair, ‘Son of a bitch!’ he screams, looking directly at Rorke, ‘I’m going to kill you! You hear me? I’m going to fucking kill you!'

A shaky breath leaves you as your eyes well with tears, and when you look down, you gulp hard at the sight of a wound oozing blood. Your throat tightens as you feel your entire body grow hot.

‘Easy junior,’ Rorke warns with a disapproving tone. You keep your head bowed as his shadow looms over you, ‘I ain’t even started with you yet,’ he chuckles.

Keegan, where’s Keegan- I’m going to die.

Your eyes sting as your trembling hands press against the rope, pulling against them. You need to get out of there otherwise you are going to die.

Elias calls your name, you hear it, he shouts it, yet, it seems so quiet.

'Look at me!’ he demands, and while everything in you is telling you to keep your eyes trained on the wound, you force your head up, sniffing hard as you look your Captain in the eyes. At the very least, even if Keegan isn’t there with you, you have him.

Elias, you captain, your military father. There have been plenty of jokes made during particularly bleak moments in missions where Hesh and Logan have likened you to their sister. It's an honour, truly, to know that they were your brothers no matter relation, and Elias entertained the idea that you were the daughter he had never had.

Rorke appears behind him and it’s then that you don’t realise how many seconds are passing. Every single second feels like an hour, and you’re more than aware that every second passing is yet another drop of wasted blood. You’re running on borrowed fucking time, and there’s Rorke, the big fucking man he is, parading around in front of you like he’s a jester. ‘That’s right,’ he chuckles, placing his hand on Elias shoulder, ‘that’s it,’ he sighs, ‘show him how much pain he’s causing you right now.’

‘Keegan will kill you,’ you rasp out, stifling a short whimper as you clench your teeth. ‘And if he doesn’t, then I will.’

You’re more than aware of the situation your in and your pessimism seems to waver with your consciousness as a sudden boost of adrenaline fills you with defiance. If you’re going to die, you might as well run your tongue; the worst thing that can happen in this moment is him simply putting you out of your misery.

Rorke laughs at your threats, ‘you see,’ he begins, ‘funny think about your old Captain here,’ he stops himself for a moment, shoving Elias as he resumes his position, looking you in the eyes, ‘He lets his men die to save his own ass,’ he states, turning his attention away from you, turning his attention back to the Captain.

Exhaling shakily, you look over to Hesh and Logan who return a look equally as frightened. Never have you seen the pair of them appear so apprehensive, although, you definitely don’t miss the look of anger. No, even though the look isn’t intended for you, you feel a chill run up your spine.

‘Dammit, Rorke,’ Elias yells, ‘this is between you and me!’

The world seems like its on a merry-go-round, twisting and turning leaving a delightful fuzziness in your head. Adrenaline is pupping through you, and you’re thankful for the emotion, for, if you didn’t have it, you very well would have been out like a light. Your hands continue to pull against the ties of your rope, and while your wrists are burning from the constant pulling and tugging, you breath a short sigh of relief when you feel them loosening. Whoever tied it clearly weren’t trained in the art of kidnapping.

‘Leave my kids out of it!’ Elias demands.

You feel your heart warm at his sentiment, giving you all the more fight to get out of these damn binds. Works gun is right next to him, you can get it, you can reach for it, and you can blow that fuckers brains out.

‘You’re talking to a superior Lieutenant,’ Rorke says, pacing back and forward, before finding his way right back to Elias. Looking down at the man, he calmly speaks, ‘show some discipline.’

You feel your face grow warm listening to their exchange.

‘You were never one of us, you’re not a Ghost,’ Elias cruelly says, turning his face away from Rorke, looking down to the ground. Rorke hums, turning his attention back towards you.

The ties are growing looser, they’re getting there, you can almost get your hand out of them, yet, you maintain poker face as you look up at Rorke.

‘Well,’ Rorke breathes, ‘that’s just cause I’m better than you!’ he exclaims, keeping his eyes trained on you. You watch as they narrow, it’s a subtle one, one that you had noted during parring matches with rookies.

As Keegan had taught you, when soldiers get lazy, they give themselves away and it’s always in the eyes.

Your eyes dart to his hands, seeing him clench his fists as he snaps his body around, driving his fist into Elias’ face. The man falls to the side with a grunt as Rorke takes a short breath before raising his other fist, ‘I’ve always been better than you!’ he seethes, punching that man again. Elias tilts his head back against the chair, and you watch as both Logan and Hesh begin to fight much harder against their restraints. Either way, someone was getting out and Rorke was going to pay. ��But you… you call yourself a Ghost?!’ he barks, hating Elias again.

As he looks down on Elias, you pull a hand free from the ties. Keeping your eyes trained on Rorke, you look down at his gun, gritting your teeth. ‘You’re nothing! You and your kids, you’re dead!’ he declares.

Wrong move.

With his proud declaration, you push yourself up from out of the chair, snatching his pistol from out of the holster on his thigh. Such, unfortunately, doesn’t go unnoticed by Rorke as he whips around, grabbing your arms, forcing the pistol up. You place your hands against his, using all the strength you can muster to pull the gun away from him.

Nothing moves him, however.

But he’s a monster, he likes to play with his food.

He’s not using all his strength, he’s taking it easy on you, and you’re still losing. As he does so, he laughs in your ear. ‘Oh,’ he gasps, ‘she’s still got a little life in her,’ he laughs aloud, positioning the gun so your pointing it directly at Elias. ‘Didn’t he ever tell you not to aim guns at people?’ You grunt, driving your foot against his boot, feeling his grip falter for a moment. You attempt to move the gun upwards, your finger pressed against the trigger. Everything burns. Everything hurts. But you’re not going to stop, you’re going to kill this bastard even if it kills you.

Unfortunately he’s a scummy man, and as punishment for you stomping on his foot, he drives an elbow into your stomach, winding you.

Your hold falters- you almost fall to the floor- but he keeps you up on your feet, and through gritted teeth declares, ‘they could go off!’ His finger jams against your pressed against the trigger, a loud shot ringing in your ears. You watch a Elias throws his head to the side as a bullet drives through his chest. You fight against him harder, shaking your head. ‘That’s is!’ He grunts, ‘just a little more that way,’ he instructs you, forcing your hand further to the right. You actively pull away as the both of you fight against each other. Tears are running down your faces at that moment, every pull and tug driving the bullet in your stomach further and further.

‘Dammit, Rorke, STOP!’ Hesh begs.

‘Point it… at…’ another shot is fired, and Elias takes it with a grunt, 'your Captain.’

As though taking candy from a baby, he lets go of your hands, plucking it out of your sweaty grasp. Gunpowder invades your nostrils as he lets you go. Rookie mistake, you hear it in your head, but it isn't your voice. It's Keegan's.

You wobble on your feet, staggering backwards as your get your bearings. What you need to do is untie Logan who is right behind you, and then when he's distracted you can get to Hesh. Yet, as you step back and begin to move towards Logan, Rorke whips around to face you again driving the butt of the pistol into your face. It hits you with a crude thwack, a stoke of colour meeting your gaze as you fail to catch yourself, tumbling to the ground.

Logan screams out as you fall to the ground, and you tense as you brace for impact. You land with a thud, a broken cry escaping your lips when you feel the bullet lodge in your stomach dig further in.

The pain leaves you gasping an you clench your teeth as the room spins. Nausea spread through you as you lay there attempting to collect yourself, gulping back the urge to vomit. Resting your palm against the ground, you begin to attempt to pick yourself up. If you can just make it to Logan, you can make everything right.

Keeping your eyes trained on Elias, you watch as Rorke circles him as a shark did its pray. Both Hesh and Logan are calling you for you, the rattle of their chair thumping causing your ears to ring. Licking your dry lips, you tense when Rorke turns back to you, pointing the pistol in his hand directly at your head.

‘You got fire in you, kid,’ he breathlessly confesses, ‘I like that… risking your life to protect your Captain,’ he chuckles, leaning into Elias, pressing his finger against his chest. ‘You could learn something from her, Elias.’

‘She’s my daughter,’ he croaks.

‘Yeah,’ Rorke nods, glancing at you, ‘and she’s gonna get to watch you die. Her and your boys.'

Shot after shot is fired, every bang against you to witness as you grab your stomach, pressing down against the wound to keep yourself from losing more blood than necessary. You’re far too dazed to get up and fight against the man who saw the very life of your Captain as some sort of joke. So, you watch, helpless, as Rorke empties a clip into Elias.

‘No! No! Dad!’ Hesh cries. His face is red as he frashes against the ties keeping him from his father, the very sight making your headache. His tone is piercing as he carelessly spits out curses at the man before him. ‘I’ll kill you, you hear me?’ he screams, ‘I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch! I’m going to kill you! Motherfucker!’

The worlds a little blurry.

Your eyelids grow heavy, and when you force the open upon hearing a thud right in front of you, you’re surprised to see Elias’ face meters away from yours. You fight against the urge to drift off. You’re not going to die, you’re getting out of this and you’re seeing Keegan again- you can't die.

‘You did well,’ Elias breathes, looking at you. Your blood runs cold at the sight of blood seeping onto the ground, ‘I’m proud of you, you and my boys,’ he utters, wheezing for a single breath of air. His lips are blue as he stares at you, your eyes welling with tears as you're forced to watch as the man struggles for his last breaths.

Rorke’s boot is planted firmly on top of his head, and you catch your Captain glancing up at the man.

For the very first time, you see fear in his eyes. It's a dastardly look, mixing with the loss of blood in an unappealing manner as his face grows sickeningly pale. Something tells you that Elias Walker is scared of dying.

No Ghost is to be scared of death, that's not who we are.

But, we're scared of losing each other.

Elias Walker is scared of losing his family, of leaving them behind.

Rorke sighs, pushing his boot further down, leaning down to press the muzzle of the pistol against his forehead.

Keegan, please.

‘Oh… you are right, Elias,’ breathes the man, ‘I’m not a Ghost,’ he grins. There's a pause in his words, and you find yourself searching for some form of sickly hope that just in the nick of time, there will be a bullet in Rorke's head rather than Elias'.

Rorke remains tall and as he licks his thin lips and eyes Elias, you find a dismal pit in your stomach that you know you're never going to recover from.

‘I’m the man that hunts them, and sends them back to the other side.’

With that, he pulls the trigger.

You scrunch your eyes shut as you hear the rattle of the man's chest, a wet pray covering your face. Your lips form into a thin line as you choke out a broken sob, and when you bring your lips together again, the metallic taste of your Captains blood. Behind you, you can hear both Logan and Hesh sobbing, the anger the pair of the showed silently dissipated into grief.

The rustle of fabric in front of you unnerves you, and you attempt to turn away from Elias' corpse, letting out a startled breath when a shadow looms over you and you're grabbed.

'Leave her alone,' begs Logan, 'you got what you wanted. Leave her be... please.'

Rorke holds you in his arms like a child would a doll, and to your surprise, he guides you back into the chair you had jumped out from, forcing you back into it.

Standing back from the three of you, he rubs his mouth with his hand, his lips curling into a small grin as he hums to himself. 'Some talent is between you kids,' he says, 'real shame you're fighting the wrong side of this war, really, it is.'

—

Much to your pleasure, you find Merrick alive.

Despite your doubts prior, you knew well the man was capable of surviving. After the execution of Elias, Rorke left you with his soldiers and you, Hesh, Logan and Merrick were all forced onto your knees, kneeling on the balcony where the attack had first initially ensued. You’re unsure as to how much time had passed, but you were sure the wound was not getting any better as every time you shifted, you fell light headed.

The soldiers that had been observing you receive something on the radio, although, your entire body is hot and your ears are ringing, the memory of Elias’ face stuck in your head as you were forced to witness his death close and personal. You’re quite sure there is residue on of the crime on your face, so, you keep your head bowed, out of the way of both Logan and Hesh who look completely broken.

‘You alright?’ Logan whispers.

You’re shaking, but you nod your head.

‘Just Peachy, L, don’t worry about it,’ you utter, keeping your head down.

A shadow is cast over you and you catch sight of the boots of three soldiers.

‘The boss wants the girl alive,’ says one of them, causing you to snap your head upwards, looking at the three of them.

The one in the middle is pointing at you, marking you out of the crowd while the other two simply observe.

You feel dirty.

The man beside him nods his head, grabbing his pistol from his holster, aiming it at Hesh, while the other one approaches Logan, repeating the process.

It’s terribly calculated, killing both of the brothers, clearing the world of Elias once and for all at the same time. You keep your eyes trained on Hesh, eyes occasionally drifting to the window as you sit and wait. Planting the pistol firmly against Hesh’s head, you hear Logan grunt beside you. Hesh moves to the side, his forearms tensing, preparing for the shot. At the very last, they’re showing them mercy. They could have slit their throats, left them to drown in their own blood, yet, they’re making it easy.

One shot to the head.

Then you see him.

A small flicker of light in the distance.

The light at the end of the tunnel.

The glass shatters, the man holding the gun to Hesh’s head stumbling down onto his knees, his hand firmly planted against his chest. It all happens so fast, the man beside him stands dazed, looking at his colleague. Another shot is fired, going right through the mans skull. A spray of brain, blood and skull covers you as the man fulls forward.

‘HESH, LOGAN! NOW!’ Merrick demands, the pair of them jumping to their feet.

Logan shoves the guard to the ground, pulling him away from you while Hesh and Merrick rush two of two of the soldiers by the balcony. The awestruck soldier is left to you and you watch as he rushes forward, pulling the gun from the corpse of the dead soldier. Fortunately, Hesh manages to grab the rifle from off of the solider standing on the balcony, elbowing him in the stomach. Rushing up to you, he hits the back of the mans guns with the butt of the rifle, causing the man to fall to his knees. You watch with wide eyes as the solider attempts to rush up to him while Hesh fights with the other one.

Another shot is fired.

The soldier behind Hesh falls to the ground.

‘I got you! Go!’ Merrick yells as more shots are fired.

The rest of the soldiers standing behind are dropped. To the right of you, you hear a gunshot as you stand up, watching Logan push himself up from off of the ground, the blood of a Federation soldier soaking into his t-shirt as he steps over the corpse. Grabbing the pistol discarded on the ground, Logan quickly fires a shot through the head of the solider Hesh is fighting with. A bullet whizzes past you, and without a second thought, you snap around, firing two shots directly into a soldier to the right of you. There are more shots from the right of you, and when the final body drops, you exhale.

‘You okay, Merrick?’ Logan asks as Merrick unties the ropes around his wrists. ‘Rib’s broken, but I can move,’ he reassures, rushing up to Hesh.

Logan pulls himself free, immediately approaching you, ripping off the edge of his t-shirt. You watched with a furrowed brow as he eyes you.

‘Need to keep you from bleeding all over the place,’ he states, ‘c’mere,’ he instructs. You step forwards and he hands you the scrap from his t-shirt. Pressing it against the wound, you groan as he wraps the rope around you waist, trying it tightly around your waist. ‘Keegan’ll kill us if you lose a drop more blood… lost enough today too,’ he says, tying it tightly. ‘You still good to fight?’

‘Always,’ you say.

Holding his hand out, the pair of you bump fists and for the first time since this morning, you feel the dread swirling in your blood slowly coming to a stop.

‘We got to get going,’ Merrick sharply states, marching ahead of the free of you. Hesh follows after him. ‘Keegan, we’re up and moving, get here as soon as you can,’ he instructs.

You look at his back in surprise, your own hand falling to your ear piece realising thatchy hadn’t taken them off of you.

‘Check… I’ll meet you in the kitchen,’ confirms the voice you have missed so terribly.

You clear your throat, wincing as you proceed forward, following after Merrick. Part of you wants him to say something to you, to tell you that everything is going to be okay, but you understand that doing such would absolutely be irresponsible, so, you busy yourself listening to Merrick.

‘We need to make it to the west side of the building,’ he states, ‘it’s the best chance of getting out of here.’ You nod silently, taking a moment to take a breath. Everything was going to be fine, and in the end of this, you were going to have Rorke’s head in your hands. ‘You still good to fight, Eclipse?’

‘Always,’ you give a short nod, ‘bleedings calmed,’ you confirm, despite the burning causing you legs to wobble slightly. In due time it will be over, all of this ill be a distant memory. Just push on a little longer, that’s all you have to do.

‘Shh.. noise behind the door,’ Hesh warns as he approaches it, ‘lets make this quick.’

—

As you push through the room, you exhale when a voice calls, 'I'm almost there,' Keegan confirms as your brow furrows, a particularly step sending a shot of pain through your stomach up your back.

You clamp your mouth shut as you whimper, your dry mouth longing for a drop of water. Eventually, this will be over, you just had to stick to it. He's almost here, you just have to keep pushing on. That's the only thing you can do.

Just keep fighting.

'You better find a place to hide, though, lotta guys headed right to you,' he warns.

You want to complain upon hearing such, why can it never just be easy? Everything has to be difficult, no matter what you're doing, you can never just catch a break.

‘Key,’ you exhale seeing the man standing before you.

His hardened haze softens upon catching sight of you, and you waste no time rushing up to him, throwing your arms around him. While unprofessional, you feel no shame in confessing that you were going to die without him, and if anything, you were deserving of this moment. The hug you share is brief as he grabs your forearms checking you over.

He stops when he sees your stomach.

Merrick curses and falls to the ground, ‘shit,’ he hisses, attempting to push himself up off of the ground. As you look back to Keegan, the pair of you turn your attention towards the doors behind you, hearing voices edging closer and closer.

Grabbing you, he looks to Hesh and Logan, ‘get him up,’ he demands, gently guiding you into the room behind you. ‘We gotta hide, not gonna be able to take them,’ he states, pulling you to the side. ‘What the fuck happened?’ he whispers as Logan and Hesh quickly help Merrick inside the room.

You feel his hand against your stomach, wincing as he looks at you. The pressure on your stomach falters as he pulls his hand away, observing a wet patch in his gloves.

‘Got shot talking back to Rorke,’ you confess, and while you’re sure it’s something you certainly should not be proud of, you speak with a glowing tone as you look at him. Besides, he trained you all those years ago, why should you be ashamed?

'Logan thought fast, used the rope he tied us up with to try and stop the bleeding,’ you mumble. His gaze hardens as he looks at you, and you swear you can see his Adams apple bobbing beneath his mask. Gently he pushes you behind him, helping you to the ground. Looking over his shoulder, he reaches his hand behind him, squeezing your knee.

It’s so quiet, yet you feel as though your heart is going to burst.

You place your bloody, shaking hand over his and offer him a wavering smile. He takes it in for a moment before snapping back into action. His hand is pulled from your knee and you’re left alone.

'Turn that radio down,' Merrick hisses as Hesh helps him down

He hums as the doors burst open. Pushing you behind him, you all sit and watch as shadows pass you by.

And then the world begins to still. You're unable to describe just what it is you're feeling, although, despite the weight and severity of everything happening around you, you feel light as a feather. Your clothes are soaked at this point and in spite of your efforts, you find your breathing slowing as you lean against the wall.

Clumsily, you reach your had out to latch onto the floor as you feel an overwhelming drowsiness hit you. You've put in all the work and effort you can muster, yet, you've tried from it and as you wade through the mush of panicked voices and the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears, you succumb to your body's desperation and fully close your eyes, wading into the quiet of the stream.

#cod #call of duty #cod ghosts #cod keegan #keegan p russ #keegan russ x reader #keegan p russ x reader #keegan russ x you #cod x reader #ghosts #call of duty ghosts #call of duty x reader #cod x you #call of duty x you #cod ghosts x reader

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livesworthlivingau · 5 months ago

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Lives Worth Living Chapter 15

ISAT/Two Hat spoilers below. CW: Uhhh.... emotional pain, idk exactly how to tag this one but it's gonna hurt y'all, I may or may not have cried at work just THINKING about this chapter... So uhh, yeah, you've been warned.

(You awaken to an odd sensation. It feels distantly familiar, like a wave of healing and confirmation washing over your very essence… a save point?… Wh… Why are you feeling this now? This hasn't happened any other time so far… was it Loop?! You barely even finish the thought before your hand is placed beside your head in the usual 'call loop' sign… and the connection never comes.)

"Loop…" (You shudder out softly as your hand falls back to your side. You sit there, frozen, mind racing with all the horrible possibilities of what this all could mean. Were they gone?… Were you too late?… Could you even loop back before now if you wanted to? Why is the connection gone?! What happened to them?! They can loop too right?! You have to go back! You have to try!! Yo-)

"Sif? S-Sif are you okay?" (Isa's voice snaps you out of it, perking up a little and looking over at him. Tears have been pouring down your face. Isa sits up quickly, wrapping his arms around you almost instinctively, holding you close to his chest with worry.)

"I-I… I can't feel them anymore… Loop's gone!" (You choke out through the lump in your throat. You can't stop yourself from sobbing anymore. You retreat into the comfort of their touch, and yet you can't help but feel so alone in this moment.)

"I-It's okay Sif, I'm here… We'll figure this out, I'm sure they're fine!" (He tries to comfort you, but you both know his words are empty promises.)

----------------------------------------------------

"Are you certain they're gone? Maybe something just severed the connection, or there's an interference." (Odile theorizes as her and Mira had entered the room to console you. You sit in bed, holding your legs to your chest under you cloak, hiding your face in it as your expression looks hopeless.)

"I could always feel them… the slightest little blip, even when they never showed back up again… a-and now they're just…" (You start to explain, tears forming in your eye once more.)

"B-But we don't know what they've been doing! It doesn't mean they're gone!" (Mirabelle chimes in, trying to be as hopeful as possible.)

"What else could it mean, Mira?! Why else wouldn't I be able to feel them anymore?! I-I… I have to loop back, I-I have to try and sto-"

"Frin?…" (Your heart stops as you look to the door, noticing Bonnie standing just outside of it.)

"B-Bonbon! I-I-… I didn't… I-I'm not…" (You stammer out, your body shaking. Bonnie looks devastated, clenching their fists with tears welling up in their eyes. They then sprint back down the hall as they start sobbing. Odile sighing and following after.)

"I'll try to talk to them." (She nods to Isa and Mira, as if handing off the problem for them to deal with you…)

"Sif, please, you gotta calm down and then we can try to figure this out."

"What is there to figure out?! They're gone!! A-And if they're gone then what's even the point of going through all this again?! I-I-… I can't! I can't do this!!" (Your voice screams out, gripping your hair so tight it nearly tears out of your head. Tears continue to pour from your single eye.)

"Siffrin! P-Please, you'll hurt yourself!" (Mirabelle cries out as she looks ready to craft some healing for you.)

"We don't know they're gone Sif, we could-" (Isabeau starts to console you before you snap back.)

"Of course they're gone!! Why wouldn't they be?! Everything else that matters to me vanishes! Loop! My home! My memories! MY WHOLE BLINDING LIFE!! IT'S ALL GONE!!"

"…Sif… You've still got us…" (He pleads, you can hear the devestation in his voice.)

"Do I?! Because I just spent the last 30 years with all of you and only I can remember any of it!! That makes me feel pretty blinding lonely right now!!" (You can't even bear to look at either of them, but the silence stings painfully in your ears.)

"... C'mon, Mira, I think Sif just needs to simmer down." (Isa does his best to hide the break in his voice, but he's clearly fighting back the tears. The both of them leave the room and shut the door behind them. You grab the pillow beside you and bury your face into it. You scream as loud as you can, you scream until your voice gives out and your throat is raw, then you try to scream some more. The tears eventually stop flowing from your eye. You think you've just ran out of them.)

(You pull your face up from the tear and saliva soaked pillow, just throwing it to the side. The light from the window flickers as the branches blocking the sun drift about in the wind. You hop up off the bed and open the window wide, climbing out and sprinting to the largest tree you can find.)

-----------------------------------------------------

(The favor tree towers over you. You need a leaf, your favorite one… None of them mean anything to you in the moment. You grab the most Fresh looking leaf you can find. You hold it close and whisper into it thrice.)

"I wish to find Loop…"

(You delicately fold the leaf and drop it at your feet. You wait… You wait some more… You're getting impatient. You pick up another leaf, you whisper into it 6 times.)

"I wish to find Loop."

(You fold and drop the leaf again. You wait. You clench your fists and jaw, letting out an annoyed growl. You pick up another leaf, and scream into it until your voice gives out again.)

"I WISH TO FIND LOOP! SHOW ME WHERE THEY ARE YOU STUPID BLINDING UNIVERSE!!! I HAVE TO FIND THEM!! I WISH TO FIND LOOP!!!!"

(You violently crumple the leaf up and throw it to the ground, panting and shaking, staring angrily at the set of useless leaves you had used. As you prepare to grab yet another leaf, a strong gust of wind flows through, swooping up the 3 leaves you had used and fluttering them along through the tree line... the faintest hint of sugar fills your nostrils. You begin walking the way they pointed.)

#lives worth living au #lwlau #isat au #isat fanfic #isat spoilers #isat #in stars and time fanfic #two hat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat two hats

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bedoballoons · 1 year ago

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HIII haven’t seen me in awhile, I had to get surgery doneeeeee. But I just saw the new mitsuri heandcannons and 👌🤩 beautiful.

well 8 have a new request, can you do when mitsuri shows off her INHUMAN strength? Also just to clarify, mitsuri does not gain much s weight at all because it mostly gets turned into protein cells….?… idk I forgot but she is just insecure because of what others might think of her.

SPOILERS: so mitsuri has the strength/ if not more than I a demon from that Uni. So her strength is about more than human. For me I think still lower of an adeptis but still INCREDIBLY strong for a human. Cuz during the final battle she rips off the arm of Muzan, the demon king which I think is almost/same strength of an adeptis???… idk

Hello!!! Welcome back! I hope you're doing well after your surgery and making sure to rest! Im sorry it's taken me awhile to get to your request but I will do my best to make it worth the wait!

P.s You didn't mention which characters you wanted to I just went with the characters that were in the past one! Hope that's alright <3

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂

{༻~Mitsuri strengths~༺}

CW: Fluffy! Slight fighting mentioned! Reader is described as very strong! Established relationships with the characters!

Also in case you'd like to read my other demon slayer works they are all tagged in the linked post:

Here for more!

(Includes: Diluc, Lyney, Albedo, and Wanderer!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Diluc:

"Watch out they are-" Dilucs words of warning would ring in your ear for only a second before the lawlchurl dashed at you, anyone else would have screamed in terror, maybe ran, but you stood still, taking the beast by the horns the second it got close enough. The giant thing was no match for you and within seconds you'd taken it down, standing ontop of it victoriously while your boyfriend stared at you in disbelief.

"Diluc-"

"You're beyond even my wildest dreams...I love you."

𑁍༄Lyney:

"Oh my..."

Lyney was in a trance...with his heart beating heavily in his chest and his head spinning with a type of yearning only you gave him. How had he never seen you in combat...

"Lyney are you alright? Did you get hurt?"

"No...I am just going to stand here for a moment longer and try to calm myself after that...truly enticing battle."

"Enticing?"

"My love, you have got me wrapped around your finger more than you realize..."

𑁍༄Albedo:

"Incredible."

You turned to face Albedo, wondering if he'd been hit over the head when you weren't looking, but to your surprise...he had a soft blush on his cheeks and a almost dazed with love expression, "Uh...you okay?"

"Yes, my apologies I just...you're so strong. I just witnessed you taking out a rather large group of monsters with no trouble at all and I must say, it's left me feeling a bit flustered...I'm in awe of you."

𑁍༄Wanderer:

"Just let me handle it!" Wanderer jumped in front of you, prepared to take out anyone who attempted to hurt you...ready to protect you till the end.

"You don't need to."

"What the hell are you talki-"

You maneuvered around him, using your strength to best your opponents one by one, leaving none able to do anything but run away begging for mercy. It was easy for you, unnatural for a normal woman...but Wanderer seemed more pleased than unhappy with it...even a little blushed.

"You...when did you get so strong hmph...next time I'm gonna stand behind you instead."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

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randomyuu · 2 years ago

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A JJK GoYuu fancomic... of a fanfic (read right to left)

You know… despite me getting into JJK fandom this year, I’ve never drawn any JJK characters. (cue me drawing 9 whole-ass comic pages-)

This wonderful fic is titled (you'll whisper, serpent tongue) what you fear you have become by @voxofthevoid. This comic covers chapter 1 scenes.

Beware of the tags, as the fanfic is NSFW. Oh, and also, manga spoilers! Major character and arc spoilers! I’ve read until chapter 4 and no NSFW so far, but still, beware!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43446157/chapters/109219954

I hope you enjoy reading this comic and the fanfic if you decide to!

Update: Chapter 6 scene fanart

More of my random thoughts and an early drawing of GoYuu below:

Have I told you I’m not used to drawing manga as well? Manga panels are pain. PAIN, I tell you. I shouldn’t have done this, but I did. I did, because every time I read the synopsis of this fic I keep picturing manga-like scenes. You should blame me for reading those AllYuu doujinshis.

It was… interesting experience. I was struggling a bit with the balloon consistency, like, do I use white boxes or just italic words for thoughts? Or maybe a balloon with a cloud-like border?

And there’s GoYuu (YuuGo? Idk honestly, don’t care lol) themselves. As I said, I literally have never drawn JJK-related content before. So when I started thinking about the panelling, I realised that I don’t really know how to draw Gojo, even more a thousand-year-old Yuuji. A whole day is spent researching Gojo, Yuuji and Sukuna’s appearances lol. Sukuna’s markings are a problem since I can’t find a full view of his markings. I know I can just finally watch the anime (yes I haven’t watched the anime, only some short clips; yes I know the animation is good, and I really want to watch it but my brain doesn’t want to) or re-read the manga, but I don’t want to ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

After going through Google images, Twitter and Reddit, I whipped up a front drawing of GoYuu as my reference:

Gojo’s is easier because he hasn’t changed from the official (I blatantly eyeballing the character sheet I found haha), but Yuuji is different. Yuuji’s hair is longer; if I recall, there’s no exact description of his clothes. I assume he’s topless due to this description: Messy pink hair, long enough to cover the creature’s nape but not to hide the segmented dark markings running down his back, shifts in the wind.

And halfway through storyboarding, I realised that I have no experience using screen tones. Whatsoever. So off I go searching for a screentone bundle I can freely download and slowly figure my way out after fully lining the page.

And we haven’t even touched perspective, background, achromatic colouring, non-human characters—man, I really bite more than I can chew lmaooo

Ah, the things you would do to satiate that drawing mood ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Also, I hope I’ll have time to draw more fanarts of JJK GoYuu fanfics because they live rent-free in my brain and I need them to get out. Maybe other pairings as well? I like quite a lot of pairings that involve Yuuji. He’s precious, and I love having it shown to me over and over through fanfics.

#Yuu's art #jjk-fic-fanart #jjk-ship #goyuu #fan comic #omg idk what to put here #attempting at manga-ing #is that even a word #jjk ship #fanart #unrelated to this but I was so tired that I didn't notice two mistakes in the title lol #fixed them though #jjk fic #五悠 #5u #gojo x yuji #gojou x yuuji #gojo x itadori #goyu

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atsvmi · 2 years ago

Text

Isagi’s Interlude

“I wish I wasn’t famous/ I wish I was still in school/ So that I could have you in my dorm room/ I would put it on you crazy” - Cece’s Interlude, Drake

✿ tags: minors dni, 18+ content, pro!Isagi, fem!reader (called good girl, wears a skirt, has cleavage, etc.), established relationship, mention of an age difference (reader is older than Isagi, both are in their 20s), consensual audio recording, role play (university students), switch!Isagi, switch!reader, oral (male receiving), humping, unprotected sex, mentions of virginity but neither is a virgin, purity kink, corruption kink (?), one mention of a spoiler, tbh i think this is pwp but idk

✿ wc: 3.5k

✿ a/n: the time has come that i officially am no longer catfishing as a writing blog🥳 please clap. also, this is my first time writing smut so please be kind<3

“Do you think we’d still date if we knew each other when we were in school?”

Your question is a random but welcomed conversation as you both work to reset your shared kitchen after dinner, you wash as he dries. In the seconds between the next clean dish, he pauses to consider his answer, before choosing to reach for low-hanging fruit.

“Do you mean high school? If so then...I hope not,” he finally answers. He can’t help but laugh as you fling the excess water and soap from your fingers onto him in indignation.

“No, I didn’t mean fucking high school. And quit making me seem like a fucking cradle robber, asshole.” You’ve been together long enough that the four-year age difference between the two of you is little more than a fun fact and a harmless joke at times. He can sense your annoyance is mostly for show but he chooses not to push any further.

“Ok, ok. I’m sorry,” he manages to get out between chuckles, fending himself from the assault of suds. Again he pauses to really think about what could’ve been. What would he have studied? Would he manage to get into a university with a good team? How would you manage to cross paths? He realizes it’s hard to consider anything when he doesn’t know much about your own school experience outside of the anecdotal stories you’ve told him.

“Tell me what you were like in school first.”

You resume washing the dishes, multitasking as you answer him.

“Um…pretty lame honestly. I wrote for the school’s newspaper. I wasn’t super active on campus but that made me get out there more than I would’ve on my own. But I did go to some parties.”

He lets your answer sink in.

“Yeah, I think we would’ve still got along. You don’t sound like you were much different from now so I don’t see why not.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see your lips turn slightly up, pleased with his answer. Cute.

“Do you ever think about your life if things turned out differently? Like if Blue Lock never happened?”

He can’t say he has. Blue Lock changed his life on its head completely, it’s hard to imagine things working out any differently. Tada and the others he went to school with were freshly graduated, at least according to their social media updates, so he supposes he would be too. Yet still, it’s hard to think about something so different than today.

“I dunno. I can’t really picture it. Actually, I don’t even want to. If I didn’t go to Blue Lock then who knows if I’d ever get the chance to play the soccer I want to. I’d probably never get to play professionally either.” He lets his train of thought wander, eventually realizing that without playing professionally, who knows if he’d ever cross paths with you. He buries the thought before it can even fully form and upset himself in the process.

“Yeah, that’s fair,” you conclude as you hand him the final dish. “I’m gonna get ready for bed. Can you just finish up here by sweeping?”

He nods in the affirmative, which you thank with a kiss that just misses his lips before leaving in the direction of the bedroom. Left with only his thoughts he can’t help but think a bit more about what could’ve been.

Obviously, he’d continue playing soccer as long as possible. Sure his high school team wasn’t amazing, but maybe through tryouts he’d end up at a decent enough school. And he’s always liked art class. Maybe he would’ve tried to pursue a fine arts degree? Or physical therapy to help athletes just in case soccer really didn’t pan out. But what then? For someone who’s built an entire soccer career around the ability to visualize a scenario, he really can’t help but to draw a blank.

Distracted by being in his own head, finishing around the kitchen takes longer than usual. When he finally manages to make his way to your shared room, he just manages to hear the sink’s water turn off, a sign that you’re at the tail end of your nightly routine.

He turns down the bed, first removing the many throw pillows you insist are necessary (a mild point of contention in his opinion. After all, what good is a pillow you’re not even allowed to lay on?) and then making himself comfortable using the “sleeping pillows” to prop himself up against the headboard, occupying himself by scrolling on the phone while he waits for you to make your way to bed. Despite it being the off-season he’s scheduled to meet with a trainer to maintain his conditioning so an early night is in order.

The click of the bathroom door opening draws his eyes but more importantly, what you’ve decided to wear to bed has his full attention.

“Baby, you look-” he starts before you cut him off.

“Is this still a good time for the interview?”

“Interview?”

He’s never been so confused in his life. And even worse, he can’t even dedicate half of his mind to start to comprehend what you’re playing at when he’s busy eyeing you from head to toe. The only thing on his mind is the oversized replica of his Bastard München jersey you’ve tied at your waist and the shortest skirt he’s ever seen. If he were to turn you around he’s sure that it’d cover absolutely nothing he’s sure a skirt is meant to. But even more captivating is the pair of thigh highs that indent into your skin the same way his fingers do when he-

“Yes? The post-game interview. I was hoping to get a quote for the paper from the player that scored the winning goal.”

“Uhh…” Is the most intelligent answer he can muster as he watches you climb onto the bed with a pad of paper and pen in hand. The size of the jersey only frames your cleavage as it gapes open thanks to gravity. Eventually, you make yourself comfortable, legs tucked under you and pen poised to take notes of his response.

“Is it ok if I record this,” you ask, sliding your phone on the nightstand, voice recorder rolling once he manages a stiff nod of his head. You continue. “So what were you thinking in that last play? It was pretty amazing if I say so myself.”

“Winning goal?” He should feel embarrassed by the way he can’t pull his eyes from your legs but the slither of skin between where your skirt ends and the socks begin is calling his name. It’s like he’s in high school again the way he can feel the blood rush from his head. Only your groan of annoyance gives him the strength to meet your eyes again.

“Babe, it’s called role play,” you say as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe in some ways, it is.

“Right. Role play.” A beat passes. “What exactly are the roles we’re playing?”

The look you give him makes his cock twitch in his pants.

“Obviously, you’re the star of our university’s soccer team and I am the reporter assigned to cover the season. You just scored the championship goal. Aaaand scene,” you drop your pen and paper to clap for extra effect and then grab both again, poised and ready for his answer.

Truthfully, he can hardly keep up with your antics but that’s never stopped him from trying. He’s had enough practice managing eccentric personalities from the cast of characters Blue Lock managed to put together so this is nothing but a cakewalk. The fact he’s in love with you only makes your idiosyncrasies endearing.

“Right.” He clears his throat, buying time. “I try to keep a cool head and focus on the field whenever I’m playing. A championship game doesn’t change that.”

You scratch something down on the notepad before continuing.

“And how do you feel now that you’ve won?”

“It’s a big achievement to win the championship for the school, and even more so to be the one to finish the game. I just hope to do even better next year.”

This time you jot away a bit longer, leaving his attention to wander back to your outfit. He reaches out a hand to appreciate the getup, running his hand up your knee to just under the hem of your skirt.

“Mr. Isagi you seem pretty distracted. Are you sure this is still a good time?”

“Call me Yoichi”. He doesn’t move his hand away when he answers.

Again you put down your props, seemingly for good as they rest next to your phone.

“I suppose this is probably too boring of a celebration for a star player like yourself. I should probably let you go back to the team for a proper congratulations. I’m sure you have quite the fan club waiting for you.”

“I doubt it. I’ve never been that popular.”

With that, you scoot closer, letting your legs fall open so that he can get the slightest glimpse between your legs if your skirt were to ride up even the slightest centimeter.

“That sounds doubtful. Who wouldn’t want a chance with Isagi Yoichi? Ace of the soccer team. Handsome and nice to boot.”

Despite complimenting his personality, your attention is focused on his physique, eyes roaming across his body appreciatively. He doesn’t fail to notice that you linger a second longer where the sheets have started to tent.

“Do you think it’d be ok if I properly congratulated you,” you ask, resting a hand on the sheet, ready to pull it away at a moment’s notice. You both have a healthy sex life, both well accustomed to initiating, but it’s rare for you to be so forward. He might pass out if you wait any longer to touch him.

“Congratulations? What did you have in mind?” Is all he can get out, forcing you to get straight to the point.

“Let me suck your cock. As a congratulations on a job well done.” Your hand cups his length through both the layers of the sheet, his joggers, and underwear, but he swears he could still cum with the slightest amount of friction he’s so wound up.

“Yeah. Yes. Please.” He’s near breathless, he wants you so badly.

Not a second is wasted before you have him bare from the waist down. He completes the look by pulling his shirt over his head, throwing the offending article wherever it chooses to land. All the while, you shimmy yourself down between his legs. Sure he’s the one fully naked but the eroticism of the sight before him already has him on the brink of cumming.

His name emblazoned between your shoulder blades is something he still has yet to learn to be normal about, but more than that, he finds that he was right about your skirt not covering an inch of your backside. However, what he wasn’t expecting was for it to perfectly frame the curve of your ass since you’ve apparently decided to forego underwear.

“Fuck me,” he gets out in only a puff of air.

“In due time, Mr. Yoichi,” is all you offer before kissing the mushroom tip, smearing the precum that’s collected on your lips, and then swallowing all that will comfortably fit in your mouth. It takes all the strength he can muster to not instinctively buck into you but he can’t hide the deep groan that comes out involuntarily as he meets the entrance of your throat.

“Fuck. You’re so good at this. Always so good,” he offers as he bundles your hair into his fist, slowly guiding you up and down his length. The praise leads you to moan around him, getting him even closer to the brink of cumming.

To get a better view he props himself up on one shaky arm, massaging all that he can reach, as you use your other hand to fondle his balls. Mere minutes pass before he starts to feel the familiar pit of pleasure begin to grow in his belly and it takes all his willpower to pull you off of him before he cums from the added stimulation. It’s next to a miracle that he manages to hold off even after he’s pulled you off once he sees the thick strings of saliva that still connect the two of you.

“I wasn’t done yet,” you have the audacity to pout.

“I didn’t want to cum yet,” he answers. Even to his own ears, he sounds debauched.

While still catching his breath he pulls you close, encouraging you to straddle him. You do and let out quiet moans as you rut your bare pussy against his length. Despite being so close to cumming before, he’s happy to let you do as you please. When your legs eventually tire, he switches to using both hands on your waist to manhandle you the way he knows you like.

“Tell me how you feel, sweetheart.” He can’t get enough of your sounds, no matter how small. To see how much of a mess you’re making he flips the front of your skirt, his tip coming in and out of view as he rocks you back and forth.

“So good, Yoichi. Your hands feel so good.”

He knows it’s not enough to get you off, that you need more. Eventually, he stops, pulling you down so that your chests meet. If you really want to role play, he figures he should get into the role he’s been assigned.

“Is there more to my award,” he asks, hands roaming under the jersey and under your skirt. There’s nowhere his hands don’t explore while he waits for your answer.

“W-what more do you want?”

He moves his right hand so that it’s between your bodies, spreading your pussy lips so that he can fully appreciate the wetness that’s accumulated. He uses his full palm to rub your clit while he answers.

“You said you’d fuck me in due time, yeah? Or were you all talk?”

“Um…about that.” Your eyes are fluttering, struggling to stay open and focus on his words. He feels like he’s on top of the world seeing how he can ruin you. “I have to t-tell you something.”

“I’m listening baby.” His voice is muffled as he leaves kisses across your neck and cheeks. Anywhere he can reach while you still use him to get off.

“I’ve never done this before.” Your eyes meet.

The proverbial record scratches and again he’s confused.

“What do you mean, you’ve never done this before?” Sure you both have busy schedules but there’s no way this is new to either of you. As a matter of fact, it couldn’t be more than a week since he had you in this exact position-

“I was a virgin when I got to college,” you whisper directly in his ear.

Again you have the upper hand as it feels like he’s been doused with a bucket of ice. The feeling only lasts a second though before it feels like every nerve lights up once he connects that this is still a part of the scene you’ve conjured. Oh.

The idea of you as a virgin has never crossed his mind once until this very moment. Given the age you were when you met, he had no reason to give it consideration. It’s not like he was even a virgin when you met. He makes a mental note to do some soul-searching later to find out why he’s rock hard and nearly brought back to the brink of cumming at the mere idea.

“Do…do you want to keep going?”

You laugh. A full out belly laugh.

“Yoichi, you're so cute. Only you would still be so considerate even in a fantasy.”

If all the blood in his body wasn’t occupied he’d probably blush at your teasing.

“I fucking love you,” you emphasize with a kiss. “Yes, I want to continue.”

Not another word is needed before he’s fully plunged back into the world you’ve created. No, he's never thought about you as a virgin but now that the seed has been planted he’s going to absolutely ruin you.

Within a breath, he’s switched your positions, now with you on your back and him pulling your legs onto his lap as he sits above you.

“Tell me if anything is too much, ok?” He preambles before he sucks both his ring and middle fingers, slowly pushing in one finger, then the other when he deems you ready.

Now that you’re fully on display for him he can’t help but stare. Again, the skirt hides absolutely nothing but he does push the jersey so that your tits are on display for him as well. Seeing you dressed but so exposed has his head swimming.

“You’re so pretty. Prettiest thing I’ve seen on campus.” If he’s going to play along, then he might as well go all out.

He bends at the waist to take in one tit, using his tongue to lick at and bite your nipple, before turning his attention to the other all the while he doesn’t stop pumping his fingers into you.

“Yoichi, please. I need you,” you whine.

He takes pity on you and moves from your chest and back up to your lips, kissing you deeply. God, he’s so in love with you.

“I’m sorry, baby. I just wanted to make sure you were good and ready. I want to make sure I don’t hurt you.”

“I promise I’m ready.”

“Ok, ok. I hear you. But can you do me a favor and clean my fingers for me?”

As soon as his request hits his ears your mouth falls open in a way that can only be described as obedient. He lets you suck at both his fingers until he removes them himself, the way your tongue slips between them turning him on all the more.

“So good for me. I really am a lucky guy, huh?” He watches you preen under his praise as he reaches next to your head for an extra pillow, lifting your hips to situate it underneath you.

“Ok, if you need me to stop just tell me, ok? For any reason.” You nod your head yes.

“Need to hear you say it.”

“Yes, Yoichi. I promise.”

“That’s my good girl.”

He locks his hand in yours before he finally presses into you, both of you moaning as he works his hips into you. It’s a fantasy, sure, but he’s as mindful as he can be to be slow and let you get accustomed to him, even if it’s far from your first times, or even 48 hours since he last fucked you.

He’s captivated by the way your mouth falls open as he fucks into you. It’s familiar but entrances him every time. When you give the go ahead he increases his pace, working at that spot he knows gets you there the fastest.

“More, need more,” and he knows exactly what you need, licking his thumb before rubbing against your clit in tight circles. It’s only through time and experience that he knows exactly how to work your body, confirmed by the way you babble his name as if it’s the only word you know.

“You’re taking me so well. Feel so good, so tight. Can feel you squeezing me. You gonna cum for me?”

“Yeah. Gonna cum for you. So fucking close.” You’re wrecked.

“I know, baby. Tell me what you need.”

“Kiss me.”

Your wish is his command, him meeting your waiting mouth. It’s barely a kiss as you can hardly meet his mouth between your moans but he swallows them all dutifully. It’s when your back arches and you fall near silent beside one final cry of his name does he know that you’re cumming. He pulls away to watch you fall apart.

“That’s my girl. So beautiful. Let it out for me.” The vice around his cock makes it difficult to fuck you through your orgasm but he powers through. Only once you relax does he rut into you a few more times before he loses himself, filling you as deeply as he can manage.

It’s silent once he collapses next to you, both catching your breath. When he catches his breath before you he departs with a peck to your lips before he leaves for the bathroom, returning with a damp rag.

“If that’s what I missed out on then I wouldn’t have minded going to school,” he breaks the reverie, cleaning between your legs before his cum has a chance to cool and become uncomfortable.

“Well, I’m glad everything worked out the way it did. Now I can have you all to myself,” you smile at him. He thinks his heart might burst.

“Yeah…that’s true too. Maybe everything worked out the way it did so that we could meet each other?”

“God, you're so sappy. Gross.” You both know you don’t mean it.

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.” He once again bends at the waist to meet your lips. Gross or not he’s glad things aligned to this very moment.

You meet him halfway, sitting up on one arm to brush away his damp bangs. When you pull away you meet his gaze.

“I really, really do fucking love you, Yoichi”.

Yeah, he’s sure he’d meet you in every universe.

#isagi x reader #isagi yoichi x reader #isagi smut #isagi yoichi smut #blue lock x reader #bluelock x reader #blue lock smut #bluelock smut #i’m going to walk away from this site for 48 hours out of shame #(me lying)

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robertoarts · 2 years ago

Text

Semper Fi

I am not a writer by any means, but I just had this idea, and I couldn't get it out of my head.

This takes place after the end of Avatar 2 so expect spoilers. I am 100% just gonna make shit up here, hope that's ok. idk where this is going, I have covid and ItS 4:21 am, but here you GO I have NOT READ THIS SO IM SORRy FOR MISTAKES OK

This WILL be multiple parts if ya want

Also sorry for the info dump at the beginning but really am not a writer and wanted to provide some context ok

Na'vi Quaritch x Fem Na'vi Reader (former RDA)

(1,896 words)

Some tags ig

[slow burn, like the slowest of burns ok?, memory loss trope, i can fix him trope]

[warning - blood mention]

You have been sneaking through the forest, entertaining yourself, bounding from tree to tree, sent out on a hunting mission along with a few others. You split up a while earlier to spread the load more evenly. Hunting has never really been your strong suit, you preferred blades to bows, and you're larger than most na'vi women, leaving you a little less agile. You knew it had something to do with the human physiology you used to have. You took pride in your strength, and being in the military gave you a purpose...for a time at least. You mostly worked with scientists, working escorts and the like; you were basically a glorified chauffeur, and when the RDA came to Pandora with the promise of new life and new land, and you being a solid 20-year-old marine, you did what you do best.

You were assigned a role on the AVTR team working on a separate subsection; you didn't fully understand what they were doing or why, but it had something to do with integrating the humans and the Avatars, removing the need for the linkbeds altogether. This idea was the beginning of something they called the Recom project. The work was a success and a small group of humans fully integrated into their Na'vi counterparts. You were one of the first ones they tried the experiment on. Being the muscle, the risk of you dying would have little effect on anyone. You were happy to oblige; you preferred being in your avatar body.

Your time in Pandora was a complex one. While protecting the scientists, you fell in love with the planet, the culture, and the people. As you spent time in Pandora with the scientists, you lived among the Anurai Clan. Renowned for their artisans and craftsmen. It went against everything the RDA said, the people weren't savages, their planet was beautiful, and their connection to Eywa was sacred. You kept this to yourself for a while. Being the property of the RDA, you knew not everyone would share your sentiments, but as time passed, you knew you were not the only one. When the war with the sky people began, you and over half of the scientists took the side of the Na'vi, and the rest went back to continue their Recom research.

The war with the sky people and the Omaticaya clan is well known, but the effect on the Anurai clan was severe, almost wiping them out. Few true Anurai remained after, and you, as a united people, moved away from your home, settling somewhere new to find peace, knowing the RDA would eventually react.

The 17 years since have been a mixed bag. You had become good with crafting, knives were your speciality, but you also carved small sculptures in your spare time, usually making Thanators for members of the Clan. With it being their totem animal, you had numerous requests. And while RDA did respond, your focus was on helping the Anurai clan breathe life back into what they once were, and slowly the Clan has begun rebuilding. You did anything they asked, hunting, gathering but mostly fishing.

That is the quest you had been sent on this eve. Although you were more significant in size than most, you had a stillness about you in the water, making you a pro and capturing the river fish. The walk was extensive, but you still enjoyed the physical exertion—a soldier trait you couldn't kick. One leg in front of the other, repetitive motion to keep your mind still. The view was spectacular, too, you didn't connect with Eywa often, but you felt her all around you as you travelled.

You picked some Nurra berries while walking the route to your favourite part of the river. There were places closer to the Clan, but you liked to take the time to walk to your favourite spot. A home away from home, a small waterfall with a cave hidden beyond the water, the fish were more relaxed, and you had set up a little space in the cave with some things you preferred to keep private.

As you throw some Nurra berries into your pack, your ears prick up. The forest shifts. It feels quiet, almost unnatural. You immediately slow, bend low, a unsheathe your knife. You move slowly, down to the ground, and deliberately to make little noise.

That is when you hear it, groans, almost inaudible. They sound pained? Close by, off the path ahead. You move towards it, holding your knife to your chest; it is bigger than the average, handcrafted by yourself, your personal initiation to your Clan. The groans get louder, and you prepare for anything as you follow. You slowly push some flora out of the way, and you see...a man?

Shock grips your soul. You see an RDA avatar wearing military gear, completely ripped to shreds, blood-staining his green tank top. His face is towards the ground, and you can see his typical Jarhead haircut and his kuru, the hair around it dishevelled, showing his skin in unprotected areas. Your ears roll back, and you hiss in his direction. What is an RDA soldier doing out here?? The sound of your hiss stuns the man into movement, desperately turning, pushing himself off the ground, mud covering his face, turning to look. Fear tugged at his face, ears submissive and mouth agape.

You leap towards him, knife at the ready, "What are you doing out here, soldier!?" you shout in English. He tries to push himself away from you, confusion painting his face. "I... I " you hear a deep drawl. With menacing intent, you begin to move closer, standing taller to assert your dominance. You were wearing some traditional Anurai garbs but opted for leggings which one would usually wear for riding, another human perk you hadn't shaken yet; the feeling of pants made you feel safer. The sky above you opens up, and you feel the wet drips on your body as you stand. The sound is roaring, and rain begins belting down to Pandora with heavy ferocity.

The man looked pathetic below you, scared, wet, and bleeding. He was helpless; he had no weapon you could discern and seemed desperate to get away from you. He is pushing himself away, digging into the wet ground to find traction.

"Answer me, kalweyaveng!" your voice boomed out, causing him to flinch, his tail swinging recklessly behind him. "I don't know!" He shouted in response, "I don't know where I am, I don't...I don't know how I got here. I can't .." your head tilts at his answer.

"You can't....? What is your name, soldier?"

"I don't..." the man looks scared and confused; he looks around, pulling himself further away from you. Your eyes widen, you take the risk and take your eyes off the man, looking around for any sign of backup. Was this some trick? You can see in your peripheral that he is trying to stand, and you turn your head to look. He is holding his midsection, the rain accentuates the crimson colour leaking from his fingers.

Guilt pangs at you, this man acts like he doesn't know who he is, where he is or why he is here. And now he will die alone, scared in a place that is not his home. You lift your knife, ready to move toward him and take his life. He isn't even looking at you anymore, he is pushing himself off the ground, standing. As he stretches out before you, you can see he is exceptionally tall, his body holds muscles in a similar way to yours, not of the Na'vi living at home, all limbs and grace. He is dejected, almost accepting of his coming fate. So much needless death, you think to yourself, reluctance seeping from your being as you inch your way forward.

That's when you see it, atokirina, a seed of the tree of souls. Not one, but two. Floating their way over to this strange man, in this madness, seemingly missing every torrential raindrop divebombing their way towards them.

Doubt and reluctance combined with this sign from Eywa were enough to sway you. If Eywa could accept you, why could it accept this man? You slide your knife back into its tstalsena. You take a breath, cautious, and say, "Semper fi", moving towards him, grabbing his arm and placing it over your shoulder and sharing his weight with you, "Come on stranger, let's get you out of this rain, I know a place not to far from here we can take shelter.". He winces, letting himself relax a little, putting more weight onto you. He is far more strung out than he let on, which you didn't think possible.

The two of you make your way to your safe space, unsure of what to do with the avatar yet. Better to take him away from the Clan for now and figure out what to do later.

Supporting his weight was beginning to grow tiresome, but you can see your waterfall ahead, the rain is relentless, and you can feel the man shivering around you. You have shared silence on your journey here; his tiny breaths seem to grow weaker, and worry begins to sit in your stomach. You pull more of his weight onto you and walk faster.

You pull him into the cave, walking underneath the waterfall, the water warmer than the rain, and you pass through. You place the man down, leaning him against the back wall of your cove, in front of the small fire pit already prepared. You take out your knife and begin striking the hilt onto a rock, trying to create the spark you need to warm your new five-fingered friend.

An orange glow and the following warmth emit from the pit, and you start throwing on logs to generate more heat. You move to a pack with some different medicinal poultices and bring them over to the stranger. He seems to have passed out since placing him on the ground, he is weak and injured. You take what you have and do what you can, lifting off the dark green tank top and seeing the damage to his muscular chest. You smear the goop onto the open wounds on his body, and they are not severe, he will not die from these just yet. Due to your walk through the rain, his face is no longer muddy, and you can finally get a good view. He looks young, younger than you, maybe in his 20's? He is handsome, his short hair suits him well; short hair is something you do not often see among the Na'vi people as their hair often tells stories. He is cute, you think as you examine the damage to his face. He also has a burn on his neck, which you treat the best you can. You are not a healer, it is not your strong suit, and you a very quickly using up what medicine you have stashed away, you will have to ask Euatx for more when you go back. Around his neck, you see tags, you peer at them, hoping to get a glimpse of his name; the tags look damaged, and you only see one name.

"Huh. Hello Miles."

Translation

kalweyaveng - son of a bitch

atokirina - woodsprite

tstalsena - knife sheath

#avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #avatar quaritch #quaritch #miles quaritch #na'vi quaritch #colonel quaritch #quaritch x reader #na'vi quaritch x reader #omg i hope this is okay #lmk if its shit #mine

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chance-lard · 2 years ago

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Book!Lucy & Lockwood vs Show!Lucy & Lockwood: A VERY LONG Deep Dive

So I finished the Netflix adaptation of Lockwood & Co.

Overall, I think it was a respectful adaptation, which, despite some plot changes, kept largely to the spirit of the books. At minimum, Joe Cornish actually seems to like L&Co, which is way more than can be said about most adaptations these days. Hooray!

But I wanted to write a bit about one of the bigger changes they made: namely the dynamic between Lucy and Lockwood.

I’ve seen people saying that the Locklyle adaptation to screen was very true to the books, just without Lucy’s close personal voice, and sped up a little in the romance department (“Stroud doesn’t mention what Lucy was doing with her hands! They could have been on Lockwood’s face in the books!” etc).

Respectfully, I disagree quite a bit with this. While some argument could be made about it having shades of their relationship from THB/TCS onwards, I actually think Show!Lucy’s attitude towards Lockwood is a 180 from the way she views him in TSS and TWS.

IDK, this might be a bit of a controversial opinion judging by what I’ve been seeing in the L&Co tag and general ways people have interpreted TSS and TWS in the years since their publication, but I’m going to try to back my argument as best as I can, focusing only on those books.

I’m using the original paperback UK editions of both the Screaming Staircase (2013) and The Whispering Skull (2014).

Spoilers for the show and VERY mild spoilers for books 3+ (literally just the name of a new character/type of ghost + stuff already shown in the show that wasn’t shown until later in the books)

Another warning: this analysis is 5500(!!!) words long, and mostly quotes from the book. If you’d like to just read the main bits, look at the intro/conclusion to each section and read the TLDR; at the end.

PART 1: THE NETFLIX SHOW

Before diving into differences, there are things I do think stayed the same between the show and the books:

Lucy and Lockwood banter, swap one-liners and occasionally squabble.

Lucy remains unimpressed with some of Lockwood’s more slapdash schemes.

During missions, they work equally and trust each other with their lives and the job.

They care about each other’s wellbeing.

Basically, when things are going well between them, or when they are in high-stakes circumstances and need to cooperate, there isn’t too much of a difference between Show!Locklyle and Book!Locklyle.

But as Tolstoy (lmao) says, all happy families agents are alike, all unhappy families agents are unique in their own way. With that said, I think the differences between Show!Locklyle and Book!Locklyle are best explored through the way conflicts are handled.

In the show, there are 5 major arguments between Lucy and Lockwood:

Episode 2: Lucy feels upset and hurt because she thinks Lockwood only views her as an “asset”.

Episode 4: Lucy is upset that Lockwood doesn’t believe/doesn’t want to admit that she is talented enough to talk to the Skull

Episode 5: Lucy gets mad at Lockwood being self-sacrificing/death-seeking after they escape from the Winkmans.

Episode 7: Lucy calls Lockwood a boy with a “cold dead heart of stone”, and is upset that he won’t let her and George in on his past.

Episode 8: Lucy is furious at Lockwood using dangerous methods at the auction, that “every relic hunter in London is out to kill us”, and that Lockwood is acting self-sacrificially again.

There are also the following minor squabbles:*

Episode 1: Lucy rolls her eyes at Lockwood for forgetting the chains at Mrs Hope’s house.

Episode 1: Lucy mad at Lockwood and George for the toothbrush cup initiation test.

Episode 2: Lockwood gets annoyed and brusque with Lucy for keeping Annabel’s source and trying to communicate with her ghost. After Lucy is nearly possessed, he flintily tells her he will burn the source, and that they have more important bills to pay.

*Note there might be some more minor squabbles, but they weren’t significant enough to make their way into my notes

The most important takeaway here is that Lucy is the one who initiates most of the arguments! We can also note Lockwood’s response to Lucy’s anger: mostly he mutely self-reflects as she shouts and storms away, then later he comes to her to apologise and promises to do better.

The one time Lockwood gets mad at Lucy (Ep 2) we are a) not shown the bulk of the argument (there’s a cutaway after the fight with the ghost to Lucy justifying herself), b) it’s anger born of worry, and c) Cameron’s delivery of the lines is quite measured and muted.

In essence, when it comes to conflict, Lucy is the one holding the cards in the relationship between the two of them.

We also know the show is set much earlier than the books (which take place over the span of a whole year). Show!Lucy isn’t acting this way out of concern for a Lockwood who she’s known and loved for ages. Rather, Lockwood is someone she is not impressed by at all from the outset. The show is setting up what makes Lucy special here: unlike the adults, the other agents, and maybe even George, she’s the only one who can see through his “prodigious entrepreneur” mythos to the hurting teenager beneath.

Within the logic of the show’s universe this makes sense. Unlike Book!Lucy who is a judgemental grump (and is why she has “no female friends”; TWS p80), Show!Lucy is a more confident girl coming right off the back of losing someone she loves dearly.

Having experienced an arguably greater loss than Book!Lucy at this stage in her life, Show!Lucy seems adamant to prevent anyone else she cares about going down the same path. For Book!Lucy, this is a realisation she only comes to near the end of THB.

So to summarise, in the show, Lucy is a hurting, no-nonsense girl, unimpressed with Lockwood’s antics and objective enough to act as his “chain to earth”. From the way Lockwood responds to Lucy’s upsets, we get the sense that he’s quite sincere and maybe more in touch with his emotions than he shows on the surface.

The show portrays two people gradually learning to trust each other and perhaps slowly, mutually discovering their feelings as they do.

PART 2: BOOK: ACTIONS

The show uses disagreements as watersheds for character development, but they don’t play as significant a role in the books. Still, I went through TSS and TWS and made notes of every time there’s conflict between Lucy and Lockwood because the differences are quite telling.

TSS:

Lucy is mildly irritated/snarky at Lockwood for the entirety of the Hope case in TSS, and is angry when he forgets to bring the chains.

Lucy is angry at Lockwood for talking about the Annabel case and getting her name in the papers (TSS, 231)

Lockwood gets angry and berates Lucy for keeping the Annabel source (TSS, 179-181)

Lockwood calls Lucy “too sensitive” and accuses her of getting too close to ghosts (TSS, 248-249)

Lockwood is furious at Lucy for trying to talk to Annabel again (TSS, 284)

TWS:

Lockwood angry at Lucy for talking about the door on the landing (TWS, 116)

Lucy angry at Lockwood (and George) for taking her Listening for granted (TWS, 258)

Lucy scolds Lockwood for brushing off/slapping down George (TWS, 398)

Purely by numbers, they get mad at each other fairly evenly (rather than it being one-sided from Lucy, a la the show).

But numbers themselves don’t tell a full story. In fact, after looking at the particulars, I was surprised to see just how unbalanced their relationship is in the first 2 books (TSS in particular), and how much Lucy sits under Lockwood’s thumb for the whole thing.

Let’s look:

THE SCREAMING STAIRCASE

The Hope House - Lockwood forgetting to bring the chains.

This is the argument that plays out most similarly to how it does in the books. Lockwood asserts that filings “will be fine” for a job like this. In both mediums Lucy lets him go, but in the show she rolls her eyes and tuts, while in the books she tells herself “now (isn’t) the time”, takes a deep breath and changes the subject. In my opinion, this difference is insignificant.

BUT: in the book, the chains get brought up again. On p39, Lockwood suggests they should leave the house because it’s too dangerous, it is Lucy disagrees and thinks they should stay (as an aside, compare this with Lockwood’s behaviour in the show, particularly when escaping Winkman at the auction!).

Lockwood “condescendingly” tells her that her head isn’t in the right place, and Lucy once again accuses him of making bad decisions by leaving the chains out. Lockwood in turn first blames George (as he does in the show), then goes on to blame Lucy!

How the argument resolves is also interesting. Lockwood smiles at Lucy, and ribs her:

‘How’s your anger management going, Luce?’ (p40).

This effectively defuses Lucy’s rage (she likens his smile to “the sun coming out”).

Only after she’s no longer at the peak of her anger does he admit fault:

“He clapped his gloved hands together briskly. ‘Alright, you win'” (about staying at the house). (p40).

Even in the very first pages, we see Lockwood comporting himself as Lucy’s superior. We get the sense he doesn’t take her anger very seriously. Lucy also doesn’t seem to be able to stay mad at him for long.

Now, I've seen readings of Lockwood smiling in this moment as him being simply unable to stay mad at Lucy. That's definitely one interpretation, but I personally don't agree with it. Lockwood has a patterned habit of using his smile to get out of trouble:

“Lockwood took a deep breath; perhaps he realized he had to explain himself to George and me, as well as to Barnes…(Explanation). He switched on his fullest, most radiant smile.

Barnes winced. ‘Put those teeth away’” (TSS, p426)

And:

“‘Papers that almost certainly don’t exist,’ I growled…I didn’t look at him; if I had, he would have given me the smile, and I wasn’t in the mood for that.” (TWS, p258)

Though as we can see, by TWS Lucy has definitely wised up haha

Lucy’s name in the article

On paper, this argument is similar to the one in the show. The major difference is at no point in the books does Lucy explicitly tell Lockwood to keep her name out of the papers.

In the show, this argument leads to one of its biggest disagreements (Ep 2):

Lucy: I told you to leave me out of it.

Lockwood: And I told you I'd handle it. What are you so worried about? It's all true.

Lucy: We haven't even solved the case yet. What if Hugo Blake sees that and comes after me?

Lockwood: Well, then, we'll look after you, Luce. You're our biggest asset.

Lucy: Asset? Is that all I am, then? Just something to make you money? You think that you do things so differently. But you're just like the rest of them. You're as bad as everyone back home.

In the books, Lucy does not get angry when the article comes out (p217). She only gets upset after she’s pulled in by DEPRAC to see Hugo Blake. When the argument erupts, George is also there and it plays out like this (p232):

Lucy: “Don’t touch me. Because of your article, I came face to face with a murderer tonight, and funnily enough, I didn’t enjoy the experience.”

Lockwood: “Blake is not going to come after us”.

George: “Or if he does, it’ll be very, very slowly, hobbling on a stick. He’s over seventy years old.”

After Lockwood and George’s further justifications about why Blake is not going to “get them” (p232-233) Lucy thinks:

“What (Lockwood) said made sense, as usual. It was good to be out in the night again, with my sword and my colleagues at my side. The distress of my brief encounter at Scotland Yard was slowly fading. I felt a little better.”

We know from this that Lucy’s anger was one borne from worry and fear of Blake. By successfully alleviating that fear, Lucy’s anger at Lockwood dissipates. At no point is she mad at being treated as a showpony or asset by Lockwood. In fact, going back to when the article comes out (p 217), we’re presented with the following:

Lucy: “I still don’t know why you mentioned me but not the necklace.”

Lockwood: “It doesn’t hurt to emphasise what a star you are. We want other clients to come running, eager for your services.”

He doesn’t use the word “asset” here, but you can easily replace the word “star” with the word “asset" to get the original lines that triggered the argument in the show. To this statement, Book!Lucy has no reaction at all (the topic changes).

[As an aside, Lockwood also obliquely calls Lucy and George “inessential” on p214, which they also don’t comment on. Also, at various points he calls George and Lucy “fishwives” (p 272) and Lucy “sensitive” because she’s a girl (p 353) (lmaooo what an ass).]

Lockwood, Lucy and Annabel

I’m lumping these three arguments together because they follow the same pattern: Lucy tries to talk to Annabel, Lockwood gets upset that she keeps trying. What is absolutely fascinating is just how he treats Lucy when he is upset, and how Lucy responds to his anger in turn.

The first argument begins the morning after the fight. Lockwood says:

“Why, Lucy? I just don’t understand! You know an agent has to report any artefact she finds. Particularly one so intimately connected with a Visitor. They must be properly contained.” (p179)

He continues berating her like this (with a lot more anger than he ever displays on the show).

Lucy tries to apologise:

“Yes. I said I’m sorry! I’ve never done that sort of thing before.” (p180)

But Lockwood is still angry:

“So why did you do it now?”

Lucy spends the next page trying to explain why she took Annabel’s source, but even after her apologies and justifications, Lockwood is still furious:

“You forgot? That’s it? That’s your excuse?” (p 181)

The three of them talk a bit more about the mechanics of how Annabel ended up in the house, then when Lucy is in the middle of talking, Lockwood cuts her off again, and they have this whopper of an exchange:

“I hope you’re not trying to change the subject, Lucy,” Lockwood said in a cold voice. “I’m in the middle of ticking you off here.”

I set the case down. “I know.”

“I’m not finished, either. Not by a long chalk. I’ve got a whole heap more to say.” (Lockwood loses his train of thought here). “The point is: don’t do it again. I’m disappointed in you.”

Lucy meekly takes Lockwood’s lecture:

“I nodded. I stared at the tablecloth. My face felt cold and hot at the same time”

Lockwood’s one-sided lecture of Lucy lasts a whole five pages!!!

But he’s not done. It comes up again on p248 where Lockwood accuses Lucy of being 'too sensitive’ (in both the psychic and emotional way), and of getting “too close to (the ghosts)”. Then, in a 180 from the dynamics of power in the show (remember, Lucy threatens to quit several times), Lockwood threatens to fire her!

“You need to be careful, Lucy,” Lockwood said, and his voice was flat and cold. “Wicked ghosts aren’t things to trifle with. You’re keeping secrets again, and any agent who does that is endangering the rest of us. I’m not having anyone on my team who can’t be trusted. You understand what I’m saying?”

Again, Lucy takes this lecture meekly and submissively:

I did understand. I looked away.

In the final argument about the matter (p284) we learn that Lucy is actually a bit scared of Lockwood.

“You deliberately let her free?” Lockwood said. “That was a stupid thing to do.”

When I looked at his face, my heart quailed. “Not free,” I said desperately. “Just…freer.” (emphasis mine)

On p285 Lucy starts crying/tearing up because she thinks Lockwood:

“...Would not forgive me…this was the end of my employment at the company”.

Ordinarily, you might be able to argue that her fears are misplaced and subjective (because of her narrow perspective). This rings a little hollow given Lockwood’s threat on p248.

Does Lockwood ever apologise to Lucy during the Annabel affair? Once, when at his suggestion, Lucy tries to talk to Anabel, and things go awry:

“I’m so sorry. I should have never asked you to do that. What happened? Are you OK?” (p192)

It’s a sign that Lockwood does care about her wellbeing, despite his general distance from Lucy and the way he carries himself, which is as a figure of authority, and more importantly, as Lucy’s employer.

Seriously. We like to joke in this fandom that Lucy is too wrapped up in her own head thinking that Lockwood is out of her league to notice that he actually likes her. But reading the books again with detailed notes, I think Lucy’s impression is actually accurate.

In fact, writing this up sparked a memory of reading TSS for the first time (prior to the release of TWS), I remember thinking there wasn’t going to be a romance between Lucy and Lockwood. I couldn’t articulate it fully at the time, but I imagine it was because of how much older Lockwood seemed and how much control her asserts over her behaviour, combined with the way early book Lucy (to borrow Holly’s words from THB) “can’t say no” to Lockwood.

It is only by the end of TSS, does Lockwood finally say to her:

“I trust your Talent and your judgement and I’m very proud to have you on my team. OK? So stop worrying about the past!” (p436)

It’s still a tad condescending (think: praise from kindergarten teacher) but it’s a momentous occasion because as shown, prior to the Combe Carey Hall case, Lockwood seems to respect and trust her very little. This bookend leads nicely into their growing dynamic in TWS.

THE WHISPERING SKULL

Lucy, Lockwood and the skull in Bickerstaff’s manor:

By The Whispering Skull, Lucy and Lockwood’s relationship has evolved (which would make sense given the 6 months between books 1 and 2) and consequently the way they conflict has too. However, they still don’t ever reach the level of direct conflict they do in the show. Take what I consider to be Lucy’s biggest upset at Lockwood in the first 2 books:

On page 258, Lucy says:

“Forget it! What happened to us treading carefully, Lockwood? I’ve a good mind to go back home!”

Lockwood begs her to reconsider. Lucy remains angry. She says:

“You’re taking me for granted. Me and this house.”

However, it should be noted that although she mentions Lockwood by name, she’s actually angry at both Lockwood and George (yup, he’s there too). She calls them “both mad” for expecting her to agree to their scheme. She then stalks away from them in a rage, leaving “the others” (not just Lockwood) to follow.

In short, her anger isn’t directed at any particular trait of Lockwood’s (such as recklessness or foolhardiness), but rather at having been duped by both George and him. Nevertheless, it shows that she’s become more comfortable at expressing her anger in general by this point.

Lockwood’s door on the landing

As in the show, after the skull tells Lucy about Lockwood’s door, she confronts him about it.

In the show, after Lucy brings it up, Lockwood responds by diverting the subject:

Lockwood: That is not just a nick. You need to get that looked at. Could be some toxins got into your blood.

Then:

Lockwood: You're not Marissa Fittes.

Lucy: Cause you can't handle being my Tom Rotwell? Second best?

(This response is OOFT and also VERY Show!Lucy imo)

Another difference: in the show, Lockwood clearly believes Lucy, but doesn’t want to admit that she might be talented, because he’s used to being the most powerful one.

In the books, Lockwood just flat-out doesn’t believe her:

Lockwood lowered his mug; he spoke flintily. “Yes, I know (the door). The one you can’t stop asking about.” (p116)

He also calls her a “prima donna” (lmao LOCKWOOD).

Here, again, Lucy responds a bit more huffily than she probably would have in TSS:

We stood there, glaring at each other. (p117)

Lucy defends George

I think this argument, from page 398, though minor, nicely summarises Lockwood’s general attitude in conflict.

“Lockwood, we’ve been so blind! He’s desperate to investigate it. He’s been obsessed with it all this time. And you just kept criticising him, slapping him down.”

Lockwood responds at first by doing what he typically does (justify, accuse):

“Yes of course I did! Because George is always like that!...It’s just how he is! We couldn’t possibly have known.”

But compared to the chains argument in TSS where he deflects until the end, moments later:

His shoulders slumped. “You really think he’s affected by the ghost?”

Perhaps it’s because of the imminent danger George is in, but this time he takes Lucy’s anger seriously. Unlike the chains argument from the beginning of TSS, he doesn’t put on airs or “give permission” to Lucy when he senses he’s in the wrong. This way, they work together to prepare to get George back.

PART 3: BOOKS: THOUGHTS

“Wait,” you say, “Doesn’t this just prove that the show is like the books? Sure, it might have skipped that weird employer/employee stage from TSS, but it at least follows their relationship in TWS well, right?”

To this I say, yes, but also no. We need to take into account the role the arguments play in both mediums.

In the books, since Lucy is a very personal narrator, the arguments are a good way of showing the Locklyle relationship unmarked by her own thoughts. Although Lucy is quite inaccurate at judging what people feel and think (see: Holly), she’s not the kind of unreliable narrator that makes up things people say or do.

In the show, since we don’t get to see Lucy’s internal monologue; the arguments are instead used to show how Lucy feels. To that end, I can understand why they made her more direct/in touch with her emotions during them – if she didn’t say anything, the audience probably wouldn’t know.

SO: to get a full picture of her relationship with Lockwood, we need to examine both her acts AND her internal feelings.

What does Lucy feel in the show?

In the show, although Lucy does like Lockwood, she hates (or at least is troubled by) the following: he’s reckless, he’s (over) confident, he’s arrogant and loves the spotlight. But her two primary issues with his character seem to be:

His death-seeking nature:

“What does any of it mean if we end up stabbed or dead at the bottom of the Thames with nobody left to care?“ / “To be honest, the bottom of the Thames used to be a far more appealing place to be.”(Ep 8)

His distance/mystery:

“You might be able to turn your feelings on and off like a tap, but I am drowning here, Lockwood.” (Ep 2)

“At the centre of you is just a…” “A what? A cold, dead heart of stone?” “Yeah, maybe. But who knows, though? 'Cause you don't actually show anyone.” (Ep 7)

Is this the case in the books?

Nope. Not at all. This is the absolute biggest difference between Show!Locklyle and Book!Locklyle.

Lucy has very little to say about Lockwood’s general recklessness because, well, she is reckless too (this is the case in the show as well – makes her look just a little bit like a hypocrite).

In regards to his death-seeking nature: Lucy doesn’t even pick up on it until the Skull of all people points it out, and that is definitely much further along than in TSS and TWS.

But why doesn’t she see these signs? It ties back to how Lucy feels about Lockwood’s distance/mystery in TSS and TWS which is, well: she loves it.

Show!Lucy can’t stand Lockwood hiding things from her and running off madly towards “any old mystery”, and that’s what makes her a good grounding force for Lockwood there.

Book!Lucy fully drinks the Lockwood kool-aid and buys into his grand myth.

From the very outset, Lucy immediately likes Lockwood. Unlike Show!Lucy who compares him negatively with the people “back home”, Book!Lucy thinks:

“Lockwood, I already liked. He seemed a world away from the remote and treacherous Agent Jacobs; his zest and personal commitment were clear. Here was someone I felt I could follow, someone perhaps to trust.” (TSS, p 112)

We also get Lucy’s opinion of Lockwood “throwing himself” into missions the very first full day she joins:

“Vigorous and energetic, eager to throw himself into each new mystery; a boy who was clearly never happier than when walking into a haunted room, his hand resting lightly on his sword hilt…It already pleased me to think of walking into darkness with Lockwood at my side.” (TSS, p 127)

She starts buying the “Lockwood narrative” very quickly too. When Lockwood says:

‘This will be one of the three most successful agencies in London…And you can be a part of that, Lucy. I think you’re good, and I’m glad you’re here.’ (TSS 129)

Lucy thinks:

“You can bet my face was flushed right then – it was a special triple-combo of embarrassment at being found out, pleasure at his flattery and excitement at his spoken dreams.” (TSS 129)

We see her continued fall into Lockwood’s all-consuming orbit on the next page:

“For a moment, as he said this, it all made perfect sense…when he smiled like that it was hard not to agree with him.” (p 130)

Contrast this to the show, where instead she cooly responds, “Thank you,” then immediately asks: “How do I know you’re good enough for me?” (Ep 1)

Show!Lucy clearly isn’t buying it from the beginning, and continues to not buy it. We can see the difference after the Hope House case when Lucy is talking to George.

George: “Maybe if you'd been more interested before you went charging.”

Lucy: “That was Lockwood's decision. I've only just started. What am I supposed to say to him?” (Ep 2)

George: “You're meant to say no. You have to, or you'll make him worse.”

George is another character who works well to contextualise Lucy’s behaviour towards Lockwood. In the show, George sees Lucy as someone capable of reigning Lockwood in. Whereas in the books, he sees Lucy as equally at fault for being reckless.

“When is going to be the time? When you and Lockwood are both dead, maybe? When I open the door one night and see the two of you hovering beyond the iron line?...All you and Lockwood care about is going out and snuffing Sources, as quickly as you can! ” (TSS, p 139-140)

Rather than deflect blame onto Lockwood as she does in the show, she says:

“Because that’s what makes our money, George!...If you were less obsessed with it, we’d have done twice as many cases in the last few months…We waited all afternoon for you.” (TSS, p140)

The “makes our money” line sounds a lot like something that would come out of Lockwood’s mouth, and makes me wonder whether she’s parroting something he said at this stage. Conjecture aside, it shows the reader that Lucy is firmly on Lockwood’s side – as established, Lucy “never says no” to Lockwood, and everyone else knows it.

I suspect part of the reason this continues for so long is because Lockwood never is too approving of Lucy, which causes Lucy to scrabble for the rare moments of his approval.

“Moments before, he’d been promising to incinerate the locket. Now it was the key to all our troubles. Moments before, he’d been giving me a rollocking; now I was the apple of his eye. This was the way it was with Lockwood. His shifts were sometimes so sudden that they took your breath away, but his energy and enthusiasm were always impossible to resist.” (TSS, p 190)

“As usual, the full warmth of his approval made me feel a little flushed.“ (p TWS, 108)

Although by TWS Lucy is far more comfortable with Lockwood to his face, she can’t help but put him on a pedestal at the back of her mind, which marks the remaining difference between the show and the books.

“One full year after my arrival at the agency, the unrevealed details of my employer’s early life remained an important part of his mystery and fascination.” (TWS, p 40)

Even George calls her out on it:

“Oh, come on. You love all that mystery about him. Just like you love that pensive, far-off look he does sometimes.” (TWS, p 55)

Putting aside the “haha Lucy has an obvious crush on Lockwood” part, what’s interesting is that George specifically hones in on Lucy enjoying the “mystery” of Lockwood – although she does want to find out what’s behind the door, she also is drawn to, rather than repelled by (unlike Show!Lucy) the part of him that keeps things hidden. Her encounter with the Fetch in THB shows her precisely what is underneath that mysterious facade of Lockwood’s, and that (combined with Holly) is what, I think, finally scares her out of her idolatry.

As for Lockwood, we can only guess at his thoughts in the book, but we do know that he’s far less open than he is in the show. It is George who reveals to Lucy that Lockwood’s parents are probably dead (TSS, 114).

Lockwood only really brings up his parents (and quickly moves on to other matters) at the END of The Hollow Boy (p 391).

I think he makes a concerted effort to act as Lucy’s employer, to the extent that he hardly asks about or takes an interest in her personal life at all. Compare the line in the show where Lockwood says:

“Interesting outfit, Luce. Didn't have you down as a fan of unicorns. Or rainbows.”

To the book, where not only does Lockwood never comment on Lucy’s appearance, that line is a callback to a line said by George:

“Ooh, Lucy – I’ve never seen you wearing that.” (TSS, p175)

In fact, I’d maybe even go so far to say that the show has snatched bits from George’s relationship with Lockwood and Lucy respectively and repurposed into Locklyle dynamics [see: George worrying about Lockwood’s recklessness, George upset at being treated as an asset (TWS, p107)].

This isn't to say that he doesn't care about them: he very clearly does and it is most clear in moments of crisis. But Lockwood is such a unique character, plus a known Stepford Smiler, and so "typical" signs of feelings of happiness (smiling at Lucy etc) shouldn't be taken at face value when trying to ascertain how he feels – and this is true until THB.

I don’t want people to think I’m cherry picking moments of tension between Lucy and Lockwood to make a point here. Once again, Lockwood does care about Lucy. When Lucy isn’t caught up in her Lockwood-filter, and when Lockwood isn’t preoccupied with his role as THE Anthony Lockwood, they share plenty of moments where they joke, laugh and generally act like teens, which the show captured just fine.

But those moments of cheeriness belie a narrative backbone that is very different. Lucy in the books is just 14 years old, and she’s looking for a (metaphorical!!!) “grown up” mentor after losing her father and being betrayed by Jacobs. Meanwhile, Lockwood is trying his best to shut the door on his childhood and act wiser than his years.

Thus when they meet, Lockwood just happens to be playing that authority figure Lucy thinks she needs (but we know she doesn’t!), and is only happy to oblige by continuing to play that role until slowly Lucy (and George) start breaking down his guard.

TLDR;

Show!Locklyle has a far more balanced dynamic than Book!Locklyle, which is objectively pretty “boss and employee”. Perhaps controversially, I don’t think Lockwood felt anything other than general workplace fondness/friendship for Lucy for most of TSS (at least until Combe Carey Hall).

Most importantly: Lucy in the show hates and is hurt by Lockwood’s secrecy, but Book!Lucy fawns over the very shadow consuming his soul – that is, until her rather rude awakening at the end of THB.

The ramifications of these changes have also spilled onto the characters. Lucy in the show comes off as more strong-minded, practical and confident, whereas book Lucy seems tougher, more of a tsundere (ye) and more love-starved. Lockwood in the show is the same attention-hungry “politician”, but more sincere, troubled and subdued. Whereas Lockwood in the books is crueller (remember that time he threatened to shut a kid in a coffin?), flashier, more competent and a huge brat (affectionate).

Which Locklyle is better is a matter of personal taste. In the show there’s arguably more dramatic tension, and the relationship is more tender/romantic and caring overall. But I think there’s something to be said for how unique Lucy and Lockwood’s dynamic is in the books, and the very carefully written unfurling that takes them to the end of TEG.

Either way, I hope I’ve convinced any readers of this giant word vomit that the show and book dynamics are two very separate beasts.

Agree? Disagree? Found it interesting? Hate my guts? Let me know what you think!!!

Till next time!

#lockwood and co #lockwood and co spoilers #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #this thing is absolutely massive i hope it doesn't wreck the app #if i see a typo or factual error after i post i will perish #locklyle #i guess

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mairitess · 5 months ago

Text

form ba-7180, notarized // to be known, ch. 1

summary: Nya realizes her and Jordana have more in common than one might think.

a/n: idk this is just how I imagine what their relationship could be like ;-; i wish it were longer and paced slower but i'm not good at that! + also on ao3 and no longer just a one-shot! ch. 2 here on ao3

words: 1.7k

tags: angst, jaya mentioned, jordana characterization if it were up to me, and now it is up to me, nya pov, dr s2 spoilers, no beta bc idc

warnings: n/a

preview:

Nya would give anything – and gave up everything – to have her name remembered. She imagined Jordana was willing to do the same, evidently far more, for the same respect.

She imagined her face plastered over billboards across all the realms, grinning over a world wholly enlightened by her genius. She’d construct a high-rise to arch above Imperium to collect her novel works. Jordana would work her way down the floors each day, greeting her associates and meeting tours of aspiring young minds. And she’d remember each of their names – she swore she would.

Jordana was called every name under the sun but her own. She was bright and capable, cruel and jealous. So in the spirit of destiny and changing your fate, Jordana took control. She was spiteful. Who could blame her? For each project Jordana developed, Sora did one better. Unforgettable, brilliant, perfect Sora. Jordana became another body in the room, rifling through papers and screwing nuts and bolts, a nameless worker bee when Sora was there.

When Sora left, Jordana practically threw a party. Even if all she was getting was everything Sora left, Jordana crossed her fingers despite being a girl of science and hoped it would all soon become her own. No more Sora. Just Jordana, finally left to her own devices. Yet Sora kept haunting her, easily destroying the one thing Jordana crafted with pride for Imperium.

As “evil” as Jordana had become, Nya couldn’t help but feel, frankly, bad for the girl, the more she learned about her. Nya loved Sora so much, seeing so much similarity between them. But where Nya saw Sora like a little sister outgunning what she did at her age, Nya saw Jordana like an inverted reflection of her younger self. All three of them were so ambitious, so smart, so resilient. But what Nya felt unfortunately was shared just between her and Jordana was in what stood in their way. Sora, in all her early skill, was embraced and centered in Imperium’s ever-advancing development, even if it was in ways she hated and left. Jordana, even if she could keep up with Sora, would never compare.

When Kai and his friends first became ninjas, Nya went to unabashed depths to prove she was just as good, if not better. Her first proof of her excellence, though, was not attributed to her name – she was Kai’s sister. Then she was Samurai X. Then Jay’s girlfriend.

What’s in a name? For Nya, everything. Everything that mattered. She could conquer the world, defeat every Ninjago villain singlehandedly, and still get underestimated and go largely uncredited if merely referred to as Kai’s sister, or Samurai X, or Jay’s girlfriend, or the Water Ninja. That’s not to say Nya wasn’t incredibly proud to be those things – though she was most proud to be Samurai X, as she’d built the mech and its reputation with her own blood and sweat. But when the Fire Ninja was seen running through the streets, little kids would wait for him to finish whatever he was doing, then pull him aside: “Kai! You’re my favorite ninja!” The Ice Ninja would be out getting groceries, and fans would high-five him with the same corny saying: “Zane, you’re the coolest!” Everyone easily called out to the other ninjas by name. Not Nya. Rarely Nya. Maybe never, Nya.

The closest she’d ever gotten to profuse and total recognition and gratitude, she had to entirely give up her body and form. Why did it take losing her for the world to realize how much she mattered?

But Jordana… Every time Nya watched back fight footage between Sora and Jordana, she’d hear Sora say, “Who are you again?” Jordana would scream in frustration, her fighting reinvigorated. Nya understood Sora wasn’t saying that to egg on her foe, that Sora truly could not remember. But that seemed far worse than if it were part of encounter banter.

Nya would give anything – and gave up everything – to have her name remembered. She imagined Jordana was willing to do the same, evidently far more, for the same respect. How much worse it seemed to be forgotten rather than dismissed, to be fighting your own erasure to the point where you realize no one would remember you for your good works. Of course Jordana saw it fit that, if you wanted to truly be known, the only option would be to turn sides.

So Nya made it a point not just to remember Jordana’s name, but to remind her teammates of Jordana’s name, too. She saw it as an act of respect, even if Jordana wouldn’t ever know. Besides, underestimating your opponent was practically a cardinal sin in Wu’s teachings. Part of ensuring her team, her mentees, wouldn’t underestimate Jordana counted on them remembering her, and respecting what she was capable of. Maybe if Nya had felt more outcast by her brother and his friends, she would have had a far more similar path to Jordana’s thus far.

------

The ninja had found their way to one of the islands between Imperium and the Wyldness, chasing a lead in their hunt for Lord Ras, Jordana, Nokt, and Cinder. Though their stealth mission didn’t go as quietly as Lloyd had hoped – Lord Ras and Cinder ran off in opposite directions, splitting the team apart. Lloyd and Arin sprinted after Lord Ras; while Wyldfyre, Zane, and Cole went after Cinder. They’d seen Nokt for a moment, but he’d quickly disappeared, leaving Sora and Nya with Jordana.

“This will be fun,” Jordana laughed, adjusting her grip on her sword, keeping a steady eye on Sora. “Let’s kill the powers, shall we? Make it fair. I don’t want to make it too easy.”

Sora glared. “Easy for whom?” She retorted, only for Jordana to roll her eyes. “You’ll find out,” Jordana said. With that, she lunged at Sora, the tip of her blade easily missing Sora’s cheek as she dodged. “Maybe,” Sora snorted. “Or maybe not.” Sora spun the katana in her hand for show before slicing towards Jordana, catching the other girl’s sleeve with the sword’s edge. Nya watched on carefully as she surveyed their immediate surrounding area, making sure Nokt wasn’t still hidden somewhere among the foliage.

“You might have beaten me in class combat before, Sora, but I won’t let you do it again,” Jordana snarled, blocking Sora’s blows. “Again?” Sora asked, confusion spreading across her face. Her guard weakened slightly.

Jordana’s eyes suddenly glowed a bright red, as she brought her dao down briefly. “You know my name,” she said, low. “You know.” Sora shrugged, concerned. “Sorry. Really, I don’t.”

“Just remember me!” Jordana shouted brazenly, angling the hilt of her blade down toward Sora as she leapt at her. For a moment, Sora stood frozen, caught off by Jordana’s choice of words in combat, and was struck painfully to the head with a dense clunk. Sora cried out and Nya ran for her, blocking Jordana’s second swing as Sora managed to twist away, holding her head in her hands.

Then it was the famed mentor and her mentee’s nemesis, and Nya felt the weight of her wisdom acquired with age. It was the first time the two had truly faced off, and as sour as Jordana’s expression was, Nya didn’t want to fight.

“Please, Jordana,” Nya tried, deflecting each of Jordana’s bladed attempts at her chest. As practiced as Jordana may have been, Nya was far stronger and more comfortable with her golden spear. “You won’t win this. You can’t.”

Jordana was quiet, focused on finding a weak spot in Nya’s guard she could catch. So Nya kept talking.

“I know what it’s like.” “No, you don’t–” “I do, I swear. You are strong in your own right, Jordana, whether Sora is next to you or not. You don’t have to prove anything.” “Yes, I do! Nobody cares if you can do the job. They only care if you can do the job well,” she spat out. “That’s not true!” Nya pleaded. “It’s not true because it’s not about the job.”

Jordana’s swings slowed, and Nya took the opportunity. “You’re not what you do, Jordana. Who you are isn’t based on what you do.”

Both their swords lowered. Sora had managed to crawl over to a nearby tree and lean against its trunk, catching her breath, but her eyes were closed.

“Then… Then who am I?” Jordana whispered, her voice breaking. “Who am I if I have nothing to give to Imperium?”

Nya reached for the girl, instinct to comfort. She didn’t know what to say. Whatever propaganda Imperium citizens were receiving, its messaging was more ingrained than perhaps fixable in a night. Nya’s gaze drifted over to Sora, and her extended hand to Jordana came to a slow stop.

Why… Why didn’t she hit you with her blade?

“Oh, Jordana,” a familiar voice echoed all around Nya, and she felt her chest clench. “It’s not that deep. Truly. Besides,” he laughed, “you’ve done more than enough.”

Nya’s back felt like it was on fire as she was shot along the spine with a stun gun. She fell to the ground, all her limbs locked in place. “You follow through, Jordana. That’s all the Administration could ask for.” Nya was scared to look as the figure hoisted her up from behind, pulling her hands into handcuffs. “I’ll take her from here.”

His hands were warm despite the metal clinking against her wrists. She wanted to hold his hand.

“Sorry. Administrator’s orders,” he huffed, coming to her side to walk her towards the portal he’d come through. In Nya’s periphery, Sora was still breathing, but looked like she was passed out against the tree. Nya nearly yelled at her when she finally got a good look at the man dragging her.

“… Jay? Jay, it’s me –” “I know who you are. Jordana, let’s go.”

His grip was rough as Nya was pulled away, so much about him familiar yet everything wrong.

Jay’s voice was growing distant and fuzzy, but she heard him say, “Nice control there, Jordana. I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to handle it, but you did well. Good job.” He sounded as kind and proud as ever. It was almost soothing.

Sora forced herself awake again for a brief moment and tried to scream as she watched Nya disappear, but nothing came out, and her head was too heavy, and she had just enough sense to hit the emergency signal on her suit.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #nya ninjago #ninjago nya #jordana ninjago #ninjago jordana #sora ninjago #ninjago sora #jay ninjago #ninjago jay #jay walker #nya jiang #nya smith #it's a fic

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pocket-ghostie · 6 months ago

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Ok, I knew that Buff Studio already had plans for Charlie in Underworld when making Underworld Office (bc of conext clues), but I didn't know HOW MUCH they knew what they were planing when they made the first game!!!!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!

(Spoilers for UwO/CiU)

First, in chapter 4, early sleep, right before Eugene gets kicked out, Boss says "I hope I never see you again."

This implies several things, Boss hopes Eugene lives a long life and/or when they die they can immediately go to 'the other side'. This also implies that Boss can't leave. Because of the door that he is in charge of guarding, he can never leave. Of course, at the end of Charlie in Underworld the door gets destroyed so Boss could leave (after a lot of work). However in this game, Boss doesn't know that's going to happen. He is under the assumption that he is going to stay in the office forever.

Furthermore, in the Peace Somewhere Beyond ending, Eugene mentions that Boss might never find peace.

This could also be because he can't leave due to the door. Although it could be argued that Eugene mentions this because Boss will never be bright, I disagree due to the end of Charlie in Underworld. Boss clearly has a desire to right his wrongs and be bright, however he can't because his duty is to protect the door. So, because of what happens in the Peace Somewhere Beyond ending, Charlie in Underworld doesn’t happen in that timeline, and the door is probably never destroyed. Which keeps Boss guarding the door forever. The door is never mentioned in Underworld Office as an obligation for Boss, as that is only revealed at the end of Charlie in Underworld. However there is plenty of evidence that the writers were thinking about this connection while making this game.

In addition, Charlie gets sealed, leading to the beginning of Charlie in Underworld. Obviously, this is a rather basic connection. However, there is more to it. They could have had Charlie escape or get torn into pieces, without Eugene interfering and letting Joan deal with Charlie. This would get rid of Charlie and give Eugene the opportunity to get Joans help and be able to call the cane later on, because Joan wouldn’t be mad at Eugene. But, Charlie was sealed so that the Office ghosts could easily get to them. It also allows and gives a reason for Charlie to lose their memories, so that the player can slowly learn about Charlie throughout the plot. Because Charlie was sealed, we got the beginning of Charlie in Underworld.

Also, I saw a post in the Underworld Office tag (idk how I would find it now) that said “Eugene choose to be a dark ghost” and it came with this image:

When I was first playing through the game, I thought this was just a fun design choice, and it might be. But if Buff Studios was already thinking about the plot of the second game and how ghosts actually work, this may be a nod to that. This could be refuted with the argument that Eugene thought he was doing good and should be a bright ghost, however this brings up several problems. First off, Buff Studios wanted to keep the conflict of how ghosts work for the second game, and also Eugene did think what he was doing was wrong. They justified it in their head because Jack was a murderer, but I guarantee that Eugene still thought that murder was bad. In fact, Eugene wanted to stop Jack in part because he was a murderer. So it would make sense for Eugene to be a dark ghost, along with the fact that Susans desire for vengeance was still in the area too.

Next, we have the fact that Boss didn’t explain how ghosts work in the beginning of the game. It was River who explained to Eugene how things work. While giving this explanation, Boss stayed silent. This could hint that Boss already knew how ghosts actually work and was staying silent in the beginning of the game. Although this can be refuted with the fact that in the second to last chapter in Charlie in Underworld, Eugene states that Boss has been getting darker because of his guilt of keeping this secret. Which means that Eugene had to have already seen Boss before to tell that he was getting darker. But since Boss got attached to Eugene, he may have felt more guilty about keeping everything a secret. Thus, making him darker when Eugene was around. Although this is an interesting theory, I disagree with it. I think Boss figured out how things actually worked either in between the two games, or the beginning of Charlie in Underworld when Charlie is unsealed. Despite this however, Boss most likely still had an idea that ghosts did not work the way he thought. I believe the fact that River explained everything rather than Boss was very intentional, and an important fact when thinking about Charlie in Underworld.

Finally, all the ghosts have images of when they were alive. At the end of every chapter, there is an image that goes along with it. (Like this one)

I believe this image changes depending on what choices are made. Some of these images show the ghosts when they were alive. Like Hayden playing with a cat, or Joan with her gun and in her soldier outfit. Through these images, it is clear that Buff Studios already planned out the ghosts' backstories. They already had their backstories planned, but they did not say anything about them. This is because they go into the ghosts' pasts in Charlie in Underworld. Further proving that they had already planned what they were going to do in the second game, and were planning on making a second game.

In conclusion, these were all the things that I found in the first game. All of these little details show how Buff Studios was already thinking about Charlie in Underworld when making the first game. They put so much thought into these games, how they would work, the worldbuilding, and the characters. Because of their care and passion for these games, it makes their world feel so real.

#alskdignreoaofnrj!!!!#I love writing a more than 5 paragraph analysis essays for this game :3c #so uhhh... when does a hyperfixation turn into a special interest?#is it now or when I hit the 1 year mark of thinking about this game?#lol. I have no clue but either way this was really fun!!!#I would love to hear other people's thoughts and theories about this game!!!#unfortunately this is the fandom with 7 people :')#underworld office #uwo #charlie in underworld #ciu #long post #ghosty ghost wispers in the void

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thewickerking · 1 year ago

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mutual 1: WDYM none of you have heard explosion gun ???? theyre from the 1930s, sure but they literally made the best song ever [long title or series of numbers that have no meaning]

mutual 2: hey guys can you fill out this survey for my class? its about 15 minutes and it would mean a lot!! i love you

mutual 3: ughhhhh can this guy stop flirting with me? i told him to kill himself after he said [horrifically racist sentence] and he hasnt gotten the hint

mutual 4: im liveblogging a game from 12 years ago if you dont want spoilers im tagging my posts about it as #plwm3 liveblog !!

mutual 5: [poll] should i brutally murder this oc before or after he gets divorced

mutual 6: ok I knowwww im learning 6 languages rn but it would be so fun to learn russian.....

mutual 7: what do you mean you freaks dont dip your bananas in orange juice??? This is literally so normal why are you call me the weird one

mutual 8: just finished meeting up with mutual 9 irl it was so fun im gonna miss you now that you're home again </3

mutual 9: mutual 8 locked me in a basement for 4 hours and played clown music. i wish i couldve stayed longer

mutual 10: OMG THE NEW TRAILER FOR BRIMBLUS JUST DROPPED?????? EVERYONEEE LOOOOOOOK

mutual 11: my dad got me a milkshake breakdown cancelled everyone 🎉🎉

mutual 12: this post reminds me of *******

mutual 13: mutual ^ is talking about scorblo btw

mutual 12: HEY???? MUTUAL 13???? CAN YOU KILL YOURSELF????

mutual 14: [describes the most horrific repeated childhood trauma] but idk if im allowed to say i have mental illness cause im not diagnosed

mutual 15: guys do you think im more blue or purple coded :3

mutual 16: in response to all the transformers fandom callout calling me lesbophobic and racist: [ten paragraphs that make it clear they're clearly the only normal person in this scenario]

mutual 17: wait you guys are actually going to pumpkin patches? i thought those were made up ive never seen a pumpkin irl before...

mutual 18: guys can anybody see me. Please. No one's responding am I shadowbanned or do you all hate me [they're shadowbanned]

mutual 19: ugh this one customer keeps brutally murdering our servers at the restaurant i work at i wanna quit sooo bad but i might get promoted soon so idk

mutual 20: [reblogs a web weaving post about judas] UGH i need to fuck him sloppy style and **** ****** ***** **** *** ***

mutual 21: spam reblogs a genshin character

mutual 22: [screenshot of mutual 21s blog with filtered tags of the characters] you're lucky i care about you so much.

mutual 23: i think im losing my grip on reality. omg wait but look at this cute dog i saw walking home the other day

mutual 24: hi everyone! i just got back from a 6 month social media break :) hope everyones been doing well!

#i could keep going. this seems excessive already though 😭😭 <- guy who doesnt know how to shut up #suicide mention #ask to tag further!!#pentaphobia #.ares

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comfortabletogether · 7 months ago

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Hello hope your having a good day idk if your still active on this given that no one is 💀 but can you write a Sdra2 x reader scenario were the girls suspect their S/O of cheating only to realize that that was their cousin the whole time

Thank you for request! It means a lot to get this kind of stuff. I only write for 6 characters at a time btw. You can rerequest if you wanted Setsuka or Kokoro. Anywho, this was a fun request and like last time it was almost no spoilers. Actually that’s a lie, I can’t write without spoilers whatsoever. And yeah I’m still active. I need to rewatch a play through of DRA though.

That was or maybe not be the reason I’m trying to hold off on DRA request because I’ll definitely fuck them up.

WARNING: Kanade, IMPLIED SPOILERS, SUSPECTED CHEATING, idk y’all

~ Mod Haruhiko ✈️

Emma Magorobi

🎬 Emma would probably be tagged many many times in some popular paparazzi page. And that post was a picture of a person who looked just like you holding hands with some other person.

🎬 She’d probably feel heartbroken and would definitely be extremely upset about it. But then she’d see that the person who looked like you didn’t look all that like you. Sure, you looked similar but not exactly the same.

🎬 But unfortunately her anxieties got the best of her and just assumed it was a weird lighting. And Emma probably wouldn’t confront you in person instead opting for doing it via text.

🎬 When Emma finds out the truth, she’ll expect you to also have some proof to back it up. But when she finally is convinced of it not being you, she’d apologize immediately.

Yoruko Kabuya

🍷Yoruko would see a girl who looked shockingly like you from across the bar. And you were with someone else. Yoruko didn’t think much of it at first, just a little mad you didn’t say hello. Or that was until you had kissed this person.

🍷 She tried to get over there to go yell at you and about how you had betrayed her trust. But unfortunately Minako had kept her behind the counter serving people as it was an extremely busy day.

🍷 Then the real you had come in and taken a seat on a bar stoll. And Yoruko immediately got confused because how could you be on two different places at once.

🍷 As she was serving you, she’d ask about what was going on and once you have explained. Yoruko be so thankful for Minako putting her behind the counter. That would’ve been an embarrassing first meeting with your family members.

Sora

❔ You were the only person who recognized Sora and you were the only person she recognized. Although not remembering much about what you did, she remembered that she loved you.

❔ For a motive, Mikado or well Monocrow handed out pictures. And in those pictures it was of a person who looked suspiciously like you and another person kissing, and many more the you look-alike and them going on a date.

❔ Sora is put off with this motive at first, questioning in her mind if it was actually you or not, but instead of confronting you on it, she slept on it.

❔ In the morning she went to go ask you about it, and she had come to the conclusion that you were the one in the picture and she was mad and questioned you over it.

❔ Sora was very embarrassed to find out that she got worked up over her S/O’s cousin making out with their boyfriend. She did apologize

Kanade Otonokoji

🎵 Another one to hear about this via social media. One thing she hated about your public relationship was that you lacked privacy when you went out in public. Kanade kind of knew once she saw the picture.

🎵 Kanade understood almost immediately that the person in that photo wasn’t you. But she wanted to play up her innocent girl persona with you. So she faked crying and showed up at your place.

🎵 She would intentionally try and make you feel bad for her. Kanade would start up an argument showing pictures that were on social media. But that argument did dissolve quickly.

🎵 Once formally told by you, Kanade would try and guilt trip you for not introducing her to your family beforehand. And she would only then cuddle you as a make up for the argument.

Iroha Nijiue

🎨 Iroha would see a picture taken by one of her older siblings of you and another person. They had multiple pictures of dates and kisses as if her sibling had been stalking you. Which that made her upset.

🎨 She was straight up in denial as she assumed that they were doing this to get her much more focused on her masterpieces. Until Iroha was told by either Emma or Hajime that they had seen you going around with another person.

🎨 Iroha would feel so hurt by this, and would just lock herself in her room and cry for hours. She would draw her ocs getting trauma to cope with the feelings of hurt.

🎨 She would also probably make someone else go and confront you about it, record the situation and send it to her. And which in this case she made Emma do it. After knowing that it was just your cousin she would pretend like none of that ever happened whatsoever.

Hibiki Otonokoji

🎶 Hibiki would hear about this through Kanade, who would also show proof of a video of you and the other person kissing. Intentionally Hibiki would lash out at Kanade for ever assuming that would’ve been you before breaking down crying for her sister to comfort her.

🎶 She wouldn’t confront you for a while, she would just ghost and ignore you. Avoiding places that you could’ve seen one another in public. Hibiki just felt so betrayed, so many people had left her. Why you too?

🎶 Eventually you two would see each other somehow again, and Hibiki would start crying demanding for an explanation. It created a whole scene but you loved Hibiki so why did it matter?

🎶 Once you told Hibiki that it wasn’t you in those pictures and that it was your cousin, going as far as to FaceTime them to prove it. Hibiki’s blind trust in Kanade’s words would begin to dwindle.

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ambrosialdesire · 2 years ago

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cacoëthes

[ PART ONE ] [ PART TWO ] [ PART THREE ]

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS + BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: s4 reiner x fem!reader word count: 14.3k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, kidnapping mention, gore/violence, minor character death, drugging mention (sleeping pills), slight misogyny, slight stockholm syndrome, vomit mention (nonsexual), noncon/dubcon, sexual implications, mention of male masturbation, a dash of porco x reader, somnophilia (but the reader is awake and pretending to be asleep), dry-humping kinda, virginity mention, kinda aot spoilers if you haven't watched it before, all characters are 18+ synopsis: it's been three years since reiner had taken you away to marley and you've been getting used to the brand new world since then. you have a good husband, his family tolerates you, and his fellow warriors are somewhat decent people. what he doesn't know is that everything was coming to an end, three years of planning an escape won't go to waste of course. a/n: this shit took me forever idk why i decided to make it this long lol this is fr a passion project at this point (i want reiner so bad) but anyways i hope y'all enjoy this, there's one more part after this and it's gonna contain ALL the dirty bits >:) note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───

Drowning was certainly an odd feeling. You were on the teetering edge of consciousness and unconsciousness, but it was definite that you were unable to completely open your eyes. It was disgustingly warm and humid, but a sudden spike of cold hit your moistened skin as you were getting pulled out of something.

Someone was pushing on your chest rapidly, muffled begging echoing in your eardrums. A few more sturdy pumps on your chest and you turned your head suddenly, throwing up any liquid that remained in your lungs and shooting up roughly coughing. You... you weren't dead? But you swore that you were just eaten by Bertolt.

You continued to cough to clear out the remnants of whatever you were in but began to observe your surroundings at the same time. Your blurred eyes first latched on the one who cleared your lungs, the person having a relieved but worried smile on his face. Your vision suddenly cleared in a furious rage.

"You fucker!"

Throwing yourself on the black haired man, your hands wrapped around his throat angrily and squeezed down as hard as you possibly could. The deep slice that Mikasa had once made was long gone and you wished that she had managed to slice his head clean off. He gagged under your hands, weakly trying to pull them off. You were only stopped as another man harshly told you to knock it off and pulled at the back of your shirt away from Bertolt, seeing him gasp for air and hold his neck.

"Don't fucking touch me Braun." You hissed, slapping the newly replaced hand off of you. You didn't want him to ever touch you ever again, the mere thought disgusting you.

"Y/N-"

"I don't want to hear it, not from two rats like you and you."

You took more observations with the environment, seeing that they ended up at the forest that the Female Titan had taken many lives in. Eren and Ymir were here too, passed out on another branch of the large tree. Eren's arms were cut off from the elbow, and Ymir's arm and leg were still regenerating slowly. Cruel pieces of shit.

"Be grateful that Bertolt managed to not dissolve you in his mouth, otherwise you'd be digesting in his stomach by now." He was talking to you peacefully as if this was all normal and nothing happened, but all you wanted to do was stab his goddamn heart out.

"Grateful? Grateful?!" You scornfully laughed aloud, an angry expression still worn. "I'd rather be a meal by now than talking to you."

Your hand reached over where your sword should've been but there was nothing there, being swallowed whole by Bertolt must've crushed up your gear or maybe the stomach acid destroyed them. Weird that it didn't kill you but it was most definitely frustrating that you had nothing to defend yourself. You reared him in the stomach with your elbow, turning around to face him as you attempted to punch his face. But he grabbed your hand before you could throw one, pushing you down onto the branch and pinning you back down.

"I told you Reiner, she'd be too much trouble to take back home." Bertolt fretted as he ran a hand through his short hair. You stopped struggling under the man, looking at the other with confusion.

"...What did you say?"

"I'm taking you back to our homeland, you and those two." Was he delusional, he had to be delusional.

"This is the only place that humanity remains, are you telling me you're taking me to a land where Titans live?!" You screeched and Reiner covered your mouth with his free hand, shutting you up. You bit down on his hand but he didn't move away, only pressing down harder until you stopped. Dull teeth were never going to be able to tear through a monster's skin.

"You're being unreasonable, it's a continent across the sea called Marley. Bertolt, Annie, and I came from there, our mission was to retrieve the Founding Titan from Paradis Island. It's been years since we left our home and now we can finally leave. Shame we weren't able to retrieve what we actually came for." He grumbled the last part but you were horrified with what he had just revealed. He and Bertolt lied about their backstory, they never lived in Wall Maria; they decimated it. They destroyed your life. Destroyed other peoples' lives.

But you were even more confused, you weren't a Titan shifter like them so why did he want to bring you along?

You tried to speak under his hand, only for it to be muffled, so he released his hold from your mouth.

"Why... Why bring me? I don't have any Titan form like the lot of you."

Reiner smiled down at you, the kind where it held such excitement that you wanted to puke.

"I decided that we were going to get married in Marley. You'll be my wife, but it's going to be a difficult process trying to have a Paradisian Eldian apply for citizenship."

"You're insane!" You shrieked, gaping with dread. No way in hell were you going to marry this crazy Titan guy, not after you found out that he was in cahoots with the other that fucked up your life.

"You're fucking insane if you think I'll marry you!"

You started to struggle underneath him, panic setting in again. This was your home, your only home in the world. No matter where Reiner would take you, it would never be a home of yours. Was that why he asked that question way back then?

"Hoover, you can't let him do this! Why are you enabling him when I have no use to you?!" You cried out to the man in vain, his gaze avoiding yours completely. Reiner shot a glare at his friend as he struggled to keep you apprehended under him. Cowardly fuck.

Through the haze of your alarmed anger, Bertolt mentioned to his partner-in-crime that he should knock you out again so you'd stop screaming so much.

Oh, so now he wants to talk. You were about to reply with a snarky response but deft fingers pinched a part of your neck, and you fell silent, falling asleep once more.

"Why'd you have to choose the one who's giving us too much of a fight Reiner?" Bertolt sighed and the man promptly ignored him, lifting you up gently to tie your hands together and to wrap your mouth with a cloth.

"Once we reach the Shiganshina District and meet up with Zeke, that's where we'll drop off Y/N so she won't be a part of the fight anymore."

"Will we be able to reach there on time? The Corps must be after us already and we still have to get Annie." Reiner set you down gently and patted his friend on the back.

"Don't worry, once we reach him and discuss what we can do to get her back, you can finally confess to her."

"Reiner!"

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

You didn't know how long you were out for, fading in and out of consciousness yet again. Whatever they did to you, it kept you well asleep for a while. You do remember faint glimpses, from being hoisted on this four-legged Titan's back to being medically treated by strangers. You faintly felt their fingers poke and prod at you, like you were some kind of unknown specimen, a new species. Yet the one thing you couldn't remember was that you never saw Reiner or Bertolt, no they weren't there for as long as you slept.

Maybe it was a dream, all of this. You were sleeping in the Corps dorms, the girls had forgotten to wake you up for today's duties, and you'd soon get scolded by the short captain and being told to mop the floor till it's squeaky clean. Everything was fine. As fine as it could get in this world.

Drowsiness was the first thing that hit you. You noticed that it was nighttime, dim lantern light being the only source that lit up the room... a metal room?

In confusion, you sat up. There was a circular window on one of the sides of the wall and you walked up to it, wobbling from unsteadiness and exhaustion. When you looked out, there was nothing but a dark and unwelcoming emptiness.

A large iron door with its own window was on the other side of the room and you took a few steps towards it, pulling the knob down and opening it. It groaned open and you examined the outside, checking both sides of the hallway. More cold metal encased everything that you saw, where in the world were you right now?

Heavy footsteps clanged towards you and you panicked, closing the door quickly and jumping back in bed, pretending that you were still asleep. The familiar groaning was heard, the steps quieter and slower as they approached you. You had half the mind to jump and attack the person that entered, but a reasonable part of you told you not to do it.

"Y/N?" Well look who arrived, your new worst enemy.

As much as you didn't want to see him, you turned your body towards him anyway. Relief flooded in his expression and he reached over to caress your face. You avoid it completely, pushing him away with your hand. You asked softly with a firm tone, "Where are we?"

"You probably don't know this kind of advanced machinery, but we're on a boat back to Marley." Ah, so the scouts weren't able to retrieve you. What unfortunate and devastating information you've learned. Tears began to well up but you brushed those sad thoughts aside, they probably thought you were already dead from when Bertolt grabbed you on top of the wall.

"Eren and Ymir?"

"Eren was taken back, we weren't able to retrieve him unfortunately. Ymir's here though, she went with us with no complaints." Was he just saying that or was she also forced on board? And how lucky Eren was to be saved once again by the scouts and his friends. So. Damn. Lucky.

"...Hoover?"

"Dead." Goosebumps rose up on your skin, wasn't he the Colossal Titan? They... they finally managed to kill that fifty meter fucker?

"How?"

"Eren and Armin are quite the clever ones, Armin now has the Colossal's power because of their plan." What did that mean? You wanted to ask but his face was twisted in a vague, hidden pain.

You decided to stop asking questions for his sake and the two of you were silent, the only movements he made were him sitting down on the edge of the bed. Remembering back to what he said in the forest, you stupidly decided to bring it up.

"I don't want to be your wife." You whispered in a shaky tone, clenching the blanket in a tight fist.

"You'll learn to accept it for what it is. You'll like it there, no over-the-top walls and you'll be able to meet my mother. She'll disagree with our relationship at first, but she'll learn to like you, I prom-"

You shook your head, frustrated that he wasn't listening to you again. Trying to deescalate the situation, you attempted to talk him out of it.

"Braun, you're not in the right state of mind. You were my friend, a brother. I never wanted to date or marry you, especially now that I know who you really are. I'm sorry."

Reiner was quiet, deathly still kind of quiet. If he wasn't mentally unhinged before, he could definitely now be.

"Don't test me Y/N. I have all the patience in the world for you, but right now, there's not a single soul here that will save you for what I could do to you. And there are many things I want to do to you."

He reached over to you and you flinched, terrified that he was about to strike you after knowing what kind of strength he possessed. Yet no sharp pain came nor a broken jaw, just gentle rubs against your cheek were administered instead. You peeked through your closed eyes, only seeing a twisted, infatuated look directed towards you. An idea popped in your head, you'd use him in order to escape.

You'll be able to find your way back home one way or another eventually, but for now, you'd play the part Reiner wants from you. His loving and doting wife.

You tilted your face closer to his touch, even pressing his hand closer to your cheek with your own. You watched him smile happily and lean close to you, warmth spreading across your skin. The two of you shared a stare, your heart beating wildly in your ribcage.

Reiner pulled you close to him and gave you a soft kiss on your forehead. You wanted to cringe away from him, wanted to uppercut him right in the jaw. But you had to hide your hate, it's the only way you'll manage to get out.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" He asked, voice completely over the moon.

"We'll take our time, I'll wait until you're ready."

"Yeah okay... that sounds like a plan."

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

You stayed in a prison room for weeks. To be completely honest, you stopped counting once you reached around the sixteenth day. When the boat boarded Marley, you and Reiner were surrounded by Marleyan militia that moved the both of you into a containment area.

Those hate-filled looks from these foreign people, you couldn't understand what you did to make them look at you like that.

You were just like them... right?

You saw a glimpse of Ymir being shoved out with her hands and mouth wrapped, and you were happy to see another familiar face. But that happiness did not last long as she was moved into a different building from yours, giving you a pitiful and sorrowful look. In your heart, you knew it would be the last time you'd see the girl. Poor, poor Historia...

Reiner told you that you'd be staying in the cell until your citizenship and marriage certification were approved, but he'd visit you everyday and teach you the language and history between Marley and Eldia. You somewhat appreciated that he was willing to take the time to actually help you learn. His naiveness only made it easier for you to escape this place faster.

Along with him teaching you, he began telling you his real life. The real story of Reiner Braun, the Marley warrior and not the Paradis soldier. He was a product of a Marleyan-blooded father and an Eldian-blooded mother, dedicating himself as a child to become a warrior so his father would come back and his family would finally be whole again. But he rejected him, never seeing him as his son due to his Eldian lineage. You felt just a smidge of sympathy for him as he spoke about it, even if your own family was long gone because of him, everyone was still loved equally.

After he was chosen to become the Armored Titan, four out of six warriors were told to go to Paradis in order to retrieve the Founding Titan. Marcel, the user that had the Jaw Titan, was unfortunately eaten by Ymir; you were shocked to find out that is how one became a Titan Shifter, hearing the morbid truth behind the shifting. Despite losing one of their members, they still continued with their operation.

That was the start of everything, from the death of your family to you joining the training corps years later to you sparring him to now. He rambled on and on about you, telling you things that made your gut negatively twist. How he has been watching you after the training spar to how he collected your flower rings as memorabilia, all these things before you truly befriended this monster.

Reiner says he has been deeply in love with you since then but the way you saw it, he was just a mad man that was using you as an anchor for his own sanity.

He didn't love you.

You were just a toy, the closest person he could attach to after losing everyone in Paradis. You were unknowingly keeping him level through the years. Fear was slowly seeping in as you would not know how he would react if he knew your plans for escaping.

He mustn't know a single peep of your escape, not a single word.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

It's been roughly three years since you've been taken from Paradis Island.

You have become well-acquainted to what Marley has to offer, despite living in the internment zone of Liberio and wearing an armband that symbolizes your supposed "devil" lineage. It was a decently peaceful life, you were able to do things that you didn't normally do in Paradis like go shopping for groceries and clothing; you were able to walk down streets without worrying if a Titan was nearby or about to bust through the wall.

It was similar to life back home, just more advanced technologically. You were shocked to learn what planes and cars were, accidentally clinging on Reiner's arm when a few flew overhead and some drove by. But the biggest glaring difference for you though was that a nearly fifty meter wall never blocked your sight as you stared into the skies.

Reiner had you meet the other warriors and his family over the years, they were the ones you were mostly allowed to speak to. They were a struggle to win over, it always hurt being called names and being threatened at. Eventually they had no choice but accept you as his wife, seeing how kind you treated him and how despite them constantly berating you, you never gave up nor frowned at their cruel treatment.

Truth be told, you could care less if they liked you but it was important to him to have you get along with them. He cared a lot about family, which you can understand well.

With the warriors, you preferred chatting with Pieck out of the lot of them. Zeke was too intimidating to speak to and it always felt that he was scheming something, and Porco didn't really like talking to you in general, most likely because you came from enemy lines. So Pieck was pretty much a neutral option as she didn't really look at you all that differently like many people do in this nation. You found out that she was the four-legged Titan — Cart Titan, as they liked to call it — that transported you to the boat, a small kindness but also a duty she was set to fulfill for the other warrior.

"You're one of us now." She once mentioned in a hushed tone.

"Are you saying that to make me feel better about my situation?" You questioned as you folded a sheet over your legs, glancing at the woman standing next to you.

"Hm... perhaps I am but we're all people simply trying to survive in the end, right?" Pieck ruffled your hair gently, soon walking away to find Porco. That made you think more than you should have, so you tried to avoid conversations about being Eldian or being from Paradis.

To the more serious issues, your marriage with Reiner has been... upsettingly decent. The act of trying to be a perfect wife had slipped unfortunately, there were many impatient attempts of trying to kill him but you knew all too well afterwards that those were for naught. So you put your murderous intentions on pause temporarily, waiting and waiting for the right moment.

To your luck, he never really put any pressure or punishment on you, mostly because he was gone most of the time fighting small wars in various parts of Marley. You were happy that he was gone so often for so long and trusted you enough to give you the freedom of going out, it gave you time to continue planning. You were able to take and hide money right under his nose and you bought a diary, writing your scheme down so you wouldn't forget; you decided to vent your thoughts as well since no one in Liberio was able to understand what you were going through.

You hid these items in a shoebox in the closet, pushing it to the back to ensure that he wouldn't catch it at a first glance. He never really dug in there anyways, you've noted.

On most occasions, you find yourself praying to some God for him to die in one of those fights but every time, he comes back completely fine. It's always a punch in the gut when you open the door and see him beaming down towards you. You force yourself to grin and greet him with a kiss, just as he taught you to. The few days he was here, he'd be extremely affectionate, demanding that you'd be next to his side at all times before he goes again. You learned not to flinch or cringe away from his kisses, even now that they're more directed to your lips.

Sometimes the kisses would grow into something more. He'd pull you into his lap or push you against the wall, his kisses becoming more needier as he planted one after another on your lips. Reiner's hips would meet yours, bodies too hot under the fabric. You'd catch yourself trying to remove his beige uniform coat and white button-up while his hands roamed around your body, desperately attempting to remove yours.

Realizing what was about to happen, you'd push him or yourself off, darting towards the bathroom in a dazed shock. Reiner never stopped you once from leaving — maybe held onto your hand for too long once — but this had to stop.

You shouldn't let yourself get too attached, you didn't need it to hurt when you were going to leave Marley. Why were you even trying to delude yourself into being romantically involved with him in the first place? Sure, it would be a more convincing façade but that fact was that it simply disgusted you to imagine him touching more than what you're used to.

You used to fight him so much, from not wanting to sleep in the same bed to him having to catch the kitchen knife with his hand to prevent you from stabbing him while you were making dinner. But that fight you had was almost completely eradicated, it just took some harsh threats and a near transformation for you to comply. Even though you were a perfect complacent wife, Reiner wanted a family, a complete one that he had always dreamed of coming home to.

He knew you were avoiding the topic of children, he had always known for the three years he's been married to you. He wanted to respect you and your boundaries, but he just keeps getting more riled up the more you avoid him. The intense make-out sessions with nothing afterwards hurt and he could definitely tell that you keep stopping yourself from just letting loose with him.

But fuck, it's becoming an increasingly difficult task containing himself from just taking you right then and there. On the days he was away from you, Reiner had constant thoughts about you. Thoughts containing where he imagined you sucking his cock, images of you spreading your pussy lips open for him so he could pleasure the hell out of you, or vivid ideations where you'd let him pound and cum so deeply in you that you'd be leaking out for days.

They were especially embarrassing for him when they came late at night when they're traveling on the blimps to the next destination. Reiner would have to shuffle awkwardly to the back or 'roam' into a hidden room where no one saw him go into, completely hard from a simple conception. He'd unzip and pull his white pants all the way down so his cum wouldn't stain the material, and jerk his cock off until he felt satiated enough. You were killing him from keeping him away from what he wants the most out of you.

When he comes back to Liberio to see you, he has to force himself from not trying to rip off your clothes the moment you open the door. You'd always give him a small peck as a greeting but he wants more, he has always wanted more.

You'd swat him away after, telling him that he should freshen up before dinner as you walked back to the kitchen, hips swaying side to side. Were you doing that on purpose or was he that deprived from not having sex with you? You goddamn tease.

Thus on the receiving end, Reiner has been struggling sexually since his marriage to you.

He'd bring it up on occasion, small mentions of having little ones run around or how happy he'd be seeing miniature versions of the two of you. Yet, you'd always avert the conversation to something else, asking about when he'd be going away again and if he'd visit the family soon because Gabi has been asking to see him. You've always focused on him so in return, he wanted to treat you out to somewhere nice before asking the big question about children.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

Knock, knock.

You looked up from the stew you were making, lowering the heat and wiping off your hands before opening the door. Low and behold, your dear husband had returned from the latest mission, leaning down for you to press a quick kiss on his lips.

"Reiner. You're back early."

"Finished up pretty quickly, Zeke was able to take out the opposing side with Pure Titans with no further issues." Reiner pushed the hair away from your eyes and smiled, planting another kiss on your forehead. He pulled away and took a glance into the kitchen, sniffing the air before squinting.

"Cooking something?"

"Your mom taught me a recipe yesterday, she said that it's something that you used to like eating when you were young. She told me to make it before you came home so I was trying it out." You shrugged as you closed the door, striding back over to the stove. He followed after you, watching you closely. Reiner had to keep an eye on you just in case you didn't poison the food, which you weren't able to because his body rejected it, throwing it up before it was completely in his system.

You didn't know how he was able to do it, maybe it had something to do with his stupid Titan shifting, but you never did it again. Not after he almost transformed in front of you, the angry and electrifying glint in his eyes was indubitably unforgettable.

"Go clean yourself up, it's almost ready."

"I didn't transform this week though Y/N. I shouldn't be smelling like blood." He frowned, his arms slithering around your waist and pulling you close to his body. Here he was being touchy again.

"You still smell gross, you were around your sweaty comrades for a week. And you know how I know what that smells like." Grumbling that he was going to get you dirty, you pulled his arms off of you, continuing to stir the stew. Reiner simply laughed at you, kissing the side of your head and mumbling a soft love you before walking upstairs to bathe. You were about to yell at him to use the scented soap that you recently bought in the shop but paused, hand over your mouth.

You sounded like a loving wife, an actual loving wife.

The two of you shared this kind of banter rather than you constantly trying to find ways to kill him before you left. It was becoming too... normal for your liking. It wasn't supposed to be like this, he was your kidnapper and a mass murderer, but it didn't seem that way anymore. No, the two of you were seen as the couple that are constantly at odds with each other, but still loved each other regardless.

A Marleyan who fell in love with a Paradisian. A Paradisian who fell in love with a Marleyan. The perfect forbidden romance.

The next time Reiner would leave for war, you had to go back to Paradis. No more hesitating and scheming. You stole and saved up enough money to pay off the man who promised to take you to the island with no questions asked, you'd finally be able to go home. If Eren was still there and still alive, he must've figured out how to patch the holes by now. You'd prefer living in the walls hiding away from Titans than living this kind of life, this life of faulty freedom.

You poured a couple of spoonfuls of stew in a bowl, trying to even out the meat and vegetables. Heavy footsteps creaked the wood above you, the sound following down the stairs. Reiner was dressed in a dark green long-sleeve, the color similar to way back in the cadet training days. You looked away, shutting your eyes tight; to you, those days were long gone. Placing the bowl down in front of him and settling down in the seat opposite, you began to eat.

"I want to take you into the city later this month." You paused before putting the spoon in your mouth and looked up, your head tilting to the side.

"Outside of the internment zone?" Reiner nodded, blowing on a piece of meat. You rarely went there without him, even if you were considered a Marleyan with your armband. The people stared too intensely at you for your own liking, sometimes spitting vile things loudly or under their breaths, so you only went with your husband or Pieck if she was available.

"What are we going to do there? Is there something important that is needed of me?" You questioned and he laughed softly, nodding his head.

"Of course it has something to do with you. We're going on a date." Dates were rare between the two of you as he never stayed long and you were left alone to your own devices. It was a request of Reiner to be able to see you for short periods of time, you didn't know if it was because he was making sure you haven't run off or that he genuinely wanted to check on you. He mentioned that he would be off until he would be called in for the next fight, so he wanted to devote all his time with you.

"You don't have anything to do with the militia or your family?"

"Not really, no orders for now. And we have all the time in the world to visit them, don't you worry." He wiped his mouth before standing up, picking up your empty bowl and kissing your head once more.

Tolerate it, you can tolerate it.

"It's a nice restaurant that I heard the higher ups talk about, they accept Marley-approved Eldians as well so we won't get stared at. I know how much you don't like the stares."

You just hummed in reply. You sat watching him clean the bowls, leaning on the table with your arm. Reiner definitely changed physically the past few years, his body becoming noticeably bulkier under his clothes and stubble had grown in; though you hated him with every inch of your skin, you had to admit that the more mature look on him was fitting.

You haven't changed much, your hair may have grown longer since there was no need to cut it short anymore and you must've gained a little bit more weight due to the constant cooking. But your feelings have still stayed the same, complete and utter resentment for the man you were forced to wed to.

"I'm going to bed."

"I'll be joining you soon."

You had to check if the box and diary was still there, making sure that the money was the exact amount as well. You picked up your pencil and started quickly jotting down your thoughts for today.

Reiner has come home early today, I was caught off guard. This might be the last time I write in this as I finally reached my goal to pay off that man. I'll be able to go home when he leaves for war again.

Would they remember me? I would be considered a ghost because of Bertolt. I'll tell them everything that happened here if they haven't figured it out yet, that there's humanity beyond the walls and they're the reason why we suffered for so long behind them.

If I leave this behind and if you, Reiner, find this when I'm long gone, know that I've always hated you. I've always been sickened by your touch and your kisses, I never meant any of those I love yous, and I've always wished you died horribly during the times you went off to those battles. I wanted to receive a letter or be told personally that you were killed in action, shot down by the cannons that were able to pierce through your armor. I'd weep, not of sadness but of joy because I would be finally be free from your clutches. Whatever you thought you taught me in order to be your perfect spouse, I was playing a role in order to survive this insanity of yours.

The creaks of the floorboards were starting to grow closer and you panicked, writing down your last words.

I never loved you and I never will. Don't try to go back to Paradis to find me. You would have to bring back my dead body in order to bring me back to Marley.

Hastily closing the diary, you stashed it back in the box and shoved it back in. As you stood up, you started to pretend to change your clothes, trying to unbutton your shirt. The door soon opened, back towards him as he stepped closer. He reached over and tugged at your hand, pulling it until you faced him and wrapped his arms around your waist securely, hoisting you up. You steadied yourself as you placed your hands on his chest, your heart ached dully as he tenderly gazed upon you.

"I love you."

You bit down on your tongue before putting on the kindest smile possible.

"I love you too."

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

"Good afternoon Ms. Braun." You bowed your head respectively towards the woman, arm linked with Reiner's. Usually after he comes home, the two of you would visit his family and celebrate the success of the Marleyan forces. It wasn't really a choice in the matter, they were happy that he was alive and you weren't.

"Oh Y/N, you know you can call me Karina now. We're both Brauns, aren't we?" She grabbed your hand and patted it gently, a small smile on her face.

"Right. My apologies." The two of you walked in the home, a small body suddenly colliding into his.

His cousin, Gabi, was hugging him tightly with a beaming grin. She was a fireball of a child, her fiery personality reminding you of a particular someone back home. She was the only member in the Braun family that still didn't really like you, even stating it aloud a few times, but you didn't mind. Though her words cut deep, it proved that someone in this family knew that you didn't belong here.

The two were talking to each other, something about the warrior campaign, but you didn't care and excused yourself into the kitchen. When you came to celebrate, you usually helped Reiner's mother with the food while he spoke with his other family. She welcomed you in, explaining what dishes to help prepare and what to set up in the dining room. This was like clockwork, it has been ever since you've been here.

"My son has been speaking to me about something important," Karina spoke as the two of you cut vegetables together, placing them into a bowl. "He says that the two of you are planning to have children soon."

Your blood ran cold, pausing your chopping. No way in hell were you keen on bearing his children, not now and not ever. But you simply laughed, as if it was a funny little joke.

"Reiner said that? I told him that we weren't ready, especially with his work right now."

"Oh, but it's been over 3 years now. I'd expected to have a few grandchildren by now, especially with how he coddles you."

There were one too many occurrences where the two of you were awfully close to laying in bed with one another, your face suddenly burning up as you reminisced on those moments. You would never give him yourself like that though, you'd never give him what he wants.

"I'm just worried that our children would be raised without their loving father."

Karina's face softened as she put down the knife, wiping her hands.

"You're a good woman Y/N. I would like to apologize for treating you differently because you came from the island devils. After all, they are the reason why we Eldians here are treated like this." There goes that Paradis Island Eldian talk again, but you did somewhat appreciate the half-assed apology.

"Thank you... Karina. I know it must have been difficult trying to accept me into your family because of my origins, I apologize for the trouble I gave you." No, you didn't feel sorry at all but it was better to suck it up than to start a scene where you could end up possibly dead. The two of you continued to cook for the others, making light conversation with one another about recipes and how each other's weeks were.

Reiner leaned on the doorway, watching you hard at work with his mother. You've always looked so pretty when you were focused, pulling your hair back with a cloth before you began to knead the dough. You were going to wash your flour-covered hands before you bumped into his chest, his hand resting on the small of your back before you could pull away.

"Working hard, aren't you my lovely wife?" You've always hated when he called you affectionate names because of the way it made your stomach flip.

"You're going to get your shirt dirty Reiner, flour is hard to clean once it gets on your clothes." Ignoring him, you tried pulling away from him but his hand would not budge, the grip only tightening. You mumbled to let go so you could wash up but no dice.

"I've been dirtied with worse. Maybe if you give me a kiss, I'll let you go." It was always awkward kissing in front of his family, you've never had gotten used to that part and you never will. You tip-toed and quickly gave a peck on his lips, but he made no moves, only wearing a small smirk. Fucker.

You tip-toed once more and pulled his face with your dirtied hands, pressing your lips much more deeply into his. As you pulled away with an irritated expression, you asked him one question.

"Happy?"

Reiner licked his lips, smugly grinning as he wiped the flour off his cheeks.

"One more and I'll consider."

"Go fuck yourself." You hissed quietly, finally giving one large shove and he finally released you. He laughed, murmuring a small apology as he pressed his lips on your forehead. His mother reprimanded him, telling him he shouldn't disturb a lady while she is cooking. As she continued to scold him, you were scrubbing the muck off your hands.

Happy couple on the outside, kidnapper and kidnappee on the inside.

Dinner was fine as it usually was, the men got drunk and the women were left to clean up after them. Gabi asked him to tell the family stories of his time on the island and he made up a tall tale about Sasha and the first orientation of the 104th Training Corps. The infamous event of the uneven split potato between her and Commander Shadis, getting reminded of the story made you even more homesick than ever. Even more reason to see your friends again.

You waved a goodbye to the family as you held Reiner's body up, trying to prevent him from falling from his drunken stupor. It would be quite nice if you could just let him fall flat on the ground and leave him there until morning came, but you didn't want to face his wrath about it.

He was luckily a quiet drunk, mumbling incoherently as you walked through the streets with him, exhaling angrily as you stumbled around. You were so close to just letting him sleep on the street until your name was called, your head turning and seeing a familiar face.

"Galliard?"

"Jeez, I've been calling for you. You turning deaf or what?" The brashness of his words made you huff in response and he helped you hold up the taller man, shaking his head disapprovingly. Out of everyone in the nation that you knew, Porco was the one you least wanted to bump into for assistance. He and Reiner didn't get along that well, he mentioned once to you that they had some tension in their childhood.

"An easy win and the idiot gets this drunk, can't imagine what he's like when we win harder battles."

"On those days, we have to sleep over at his mother's and those mornings are the absolute worst." Porco snorted, adjusting his arm as the two of you walked together.

"Tell me about it, he's barely keeping himself upright. What's he thinking making you carry him home?"

You shrugged, lightly chuckling. "I've carried heavier, it's just been a while."

"You were an island devil soldier right?" There's that name again but you nodded in response.

"You're so frail-looking for a soldier, it's a miracle you passed as one."

You shot a glare at him, stopping in your stride. "What? Me? Frail?"

"You sure are. You're only a housewife for Vice Captain Reiner Braun, you only serve to warm his bed and cook his food. You? A soldier? What a joke." Your nails dug into the skin of your palm, hard enough that you were sure it drew blood.

That was the cruel reality of your situation, you were no longer a soldier. Just a war wife. He was right, you were a complete and utter joke of the person that you once were.

"Spar me then."

"What?" It felt like Reiner was no longer in the vicinity, all you wanted was to prove Porco wrong. You weren't frail, you were a goddamn Survey Corps soldier.

"Spar me goddammit, I won't repeat it. And don't bother holding back."

You pulled Reiner to a bench, almost shoving his body in the seat before facing the other man. There was an unsure look on his face but all the frustration and anger that was built up over the years was about to blow up out of you, and you put your fists up in your familiar defensive position.

Three whole years you haven't touched up nor sharpened your skills but at this moment, it didn’t matter. You were tired, exhausted from being looked down upon constantly. You were sick of Marleyan and Eldian talk and you were sick of Porco's ego right now.

"What? Don't tell me you're scared of getting defeated by an island devil? Or are you scared of losing to a woman?" You taunted, his face going from shock to an angry scowl.

A burst of energy flowed through your body as he ran at you, a jab targeted towards your face. You couldn't let your timing be off, you needed the advantage as much as possible. Quickly, you intertwined his arm with yours and swiped at his legs, effectively making him fall away from you. He landed on his back, sputtering out the remnants of air in his lungs.

You could give your blessings to Annie and Commander Shadis another time. Adrenaline rushed through your veins as you slammed him down on the ground, teeth bared as you straddled onto his stomach.

"I do not give a damn if you continue to think I'm the devil of your people. I'm fed up with being thought of as weak by assholes like you." Porco tried pulling his arm away but you gripped onto him harder, eyes lit ablaze. You socked him right in the nose, knuckles white from gripping your fist so tightly. It hurt — fuck — everything hurt right now.

He used his free hand to hold your wrist and you struggled to break the hold, pulling and tugging in every direction wildly. His nose was bleeding, red trails slipping down the side of his face. Slight steam began to arise from the site, just barely blurring your vision.

"I'm tired, I'm so fucking tired. You have absolutely no clue what it's like to have everything stolen away from you! To be taken away from everything and everyone that you know!" You lamented in frustration, continuing to try and shake out of his hold.

The wild anger you once had faltered into sadness, tears welling up as your grip loosened, fist falling at your side. Your moment of weakness caused him to immediately flip you over, your positions both switched as he pinned your wrist down while the other was raised up, ready to strike down. Before he swung down, you closed your eyes, clenching your jaw as you awaited for the contact.

Yet nothing came.

As you opened your tear-blurred eyes, his knuckles were mere centimeters away from your face before he pulled it away. The two of you breathed heavily on the dirty cobble road, intensely gazing at each other. The blood from his bruised and probably broken nose was smeared above his upper lip and the side of his cheek. His usually combed back hair was all messy, light brown strands falling on his forehead. To be honest, it looked nicer that way...

You blinked and felt tears drop down the side of your face, an exasperated laugh coming out.

"I'm sorry Galliard, I must be going insane..." Porco's hands released you, letting you wipe the tears off your face as he lifted his weight off of you.

"What's the truth behind you two? Three years ago, Reiner says that you couldn't bear parting from him so you willingly went with him here. Obviously that's not the case for your side of the story." He grumbled, helping you up from the ground before slicking back his hair. He placed his hands on his nose and snapped it back into place, the sound making you cringe.

Solemnly, you took a glance at your husband's sleeping form. "In Paradis, Reiner was my friend, the older brother I thought I had back. I loved him, but not in the way that he loves me. You wouldn't fall in love with your kidnapper, right?"

Porco was silent but you knew what his answer would be, rather you hoped you knew what his answer was. You sighed as you dusted off your dress all around.

"Why haven't you left Liberio if you're so unhappy? Can't believe a Marley certified Eldian wouldn't even think twice about moving back to the island devils." Could you trust Porco with your plan? No, you couldn't. It was too risky, especially with him being his supposed childhood rival. And he was obviously loyal to his country, no way would he let the knowledge of you going back home slide.

"No no, it's nice here. I never said that I wanted to go back to Paradis, I'm simply not used to the advancement that Marley has over my homeland. Sure, it’s frustrating to start fresh but I like it here. It's just being forcibly wed to Reiner I can't deal with."

"Divorce is an option y'know, I don't know how it works in your home but it's not frowned upon here." Was it not clicking for him?

If you weren't in severe risk of getting killed by your so-called husband, you would've preferred that option. Reiner had given you no other choice but to escape back home, even if there was a risk of you dying at sea. You'd prefer that than dying from his own hands.

"I'll think about it. For now, let's try getting him home." Porco snorted as he watched you attempt to lift him up by yourself.

"Nah, I think we should just leave him here. I'll take the blame for you, I’ll say that he thought he went with you to go home but really he left without you while he was drunk and I found him here. Doubt he remembers anything from when he left his mom's."

Your eyes lit up and widened, looking at the man in shock. "You'd do that for me?"

He tensed up, his body turning in another direction. "Yeah whatever. Think of it as an apology for earlier."

A smile grew on your face as you thanked him again, almost skipping back to your home. However before you did, you turned to ask him one last question.

"Why didn't you hit me? I told you not to hold back."

He didn't look at you, preferring to keep his attention to the road as he kicked at a pebble.

"I was tempted to after you said all of that shit and pulled what you did. But I didn't want to leave something that Reiner would ask about. You don't got the healing properties that we shifters have so this," He pointed at his nose. "Would be fixed in a few minutes or so. Reiner would kill me if he found out I pummeled your face in, but he wouldn't be able to beat me of course."

You knew that he couldn't —well maybe he could, you weren't too knowledgeable about the different Titan powers — but you laughed at his confidence. He scowled at you and kicked the pebble in your direction, telling you to go home already. Maybe Porco wasn't as bad as you originally thought, even if he had a sharp-tongue and never thought about what he said until after it came out.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

Days seemed to fly by after that night, your determination to finally go home being ignited even more than before. Reiner came home in a frantic manner the morning after the fiasco with Porco, apologizing profusely for his behavior and how he left without you, making it up by cooking every meal for a week straight. He never questioned the bruising on your knuckles, only focusing on making it up to you.

For a kidnapper, he sure was thoughtful.

Beyond that, you began to hang around Porco more alongside Pieck. There were days where it was just the two of you, making snide comments towards each other before bursting out laughing at the end of it. You were always filled with pure, unadulterated joy when you were around him and he made you feel quite comfortable to be yourself, even if you've been here for years now.

Porco has always been honest with you, never has he sugarcoated anything he said to you. What once was something you hated from him, you began to view it in a new light and appreciate it much more, it kept you more grounded. There was a line however, he never mentioned you being a housewife nor about being "delicate" after that night and you wondered if you actually proven yourself worthy towards him. You would appreciate this relationship more if not for the conditions.

It didn't go unnoticed that Reiner had been more attentive towards your sudden keenness towards Porco when you began to hang around him more than usual. He became grabbier, pulling you against him by your waist whenever the two of you were around the warriors. When your attention was focused on Porco, he'd shoot daggers at him while scowling but he'd promptly ignore it. Reiner would do anything for you and here you were, being an absolute fucking slut to his comrade. His tipping point was beginning to spill over, so he finally decided to take on a heavier precaution in order to send a message to that damned Jaw Titan inheritor.

It had occurred where you were simply enjoying a short lunch with the warrior. He was originally supposed to quickly drop off a letter to Reiner but you practically pulled him inside regardless of his protests. He could've left but he didn't, sarcastically making a comment on how ridiculous it was that you liked him this much as he took a bite of the sandwich you made. You simply responded that he likes you enough to stay and that shut him up immediately.

Reiner came in from the backyard, ready to ask you something before his eyes captured the familiar slick-backed hair of his fellow warrior, who was in the midst of kindly smiling at you as you spoke. Porco never smiled like that, not to you, not to an island devil.

"Reiner." His name was called by him and he simply tipped his head at him in acknowledgement, leaning against the wall. You turned your head towards him, eyes wide before you got up and set your cup down.

"Oh Reiner! I was about to let you know that Galliard decided to join us for lunch, must've slipped my mind." You sheepishly smiled and he scoffed, taking a sip out of his cup.

"Yeah okay, decided. I was actually supposed to give you a letter Reiner, but she," He pointed at you as you stuck your tongue at him. "Pulled me inside and asked me to join you two. What can I say, can't resist free food."

Why did you act like that to him? When did you start acting like this towards him? Why was Porco hanging around his wife? Reiner suddenly felt uneasy but at the same time, the scorching flames of his obsession began to fire up.

"Very funny Galliard. Go sit down, I'll get your food ready Reiner." You were about to usher him to his seat, grabbing his hand and tugging before he pulled you close to him by the waist instead.

The words died in your mouth as you were about to ask him what was wrong, eyes meeting each other before he kissed you. He tilted your chin up with his free hand before promptly shoving his tongue through your lips.

A light gasp escaped your mouth as his tongue faintly brushed against yours, the sound muffled. You were about to retreat, thinking he was satiated with what he wanted, but he simply jerked you closer. Your hands fell on his body and his thigh slipped in between your legs, the action hidden with the dress you wore. The smallest twinge of pleasure shuddered down your back and you briefly closed your eyes, letting him continue to ravage you.

Unbeknownst to you, he was glaring holes into your companion, who was awkwardly staring before focusing his attention to his lukewarm tea.

Unconsciously you started to return his kiss, nearly matching the intensity. Reiner's hand began to grip the cloth of your back and it took all his willpower not to take you right in front of him, his cock twitching at the prospect of it.

It would prove his point even more, that everything of yours belonged to him and him only.

You finally found the strength to pull away, a strand of saliva breaking as you rushed to grab his lunch in the kitchen. That was... new. Things got like this, but never in front of someone else and never this badly. Your body lurched over the counter, the burning heat of your skin contrasting against the cool wood.

What have you just done?

Reiner took a seat next to him, as if what he had done was nothing but a normal fleeting moment. He poured himself a cup and sipped, asking Porco what he thought about the tea that you had just boiled up. He stayed silent, not even making an effort to look at him.

"I asked you a question Porco."

"For fuck's sake Reiner, what do you even want me to say? Nice kiss Vice Captain Braun, you sure shoved your tongue down your wife's throat." The man quietly mocked through bared teeth, his cheeks obviously tinged pink.

"I asked about the tea but thank you." Smiling smugly, he took another sip.

You soon recovered from the event, bringing in another sandwich for him and soundlessly taking your place in between. Not a peep was heard out of you, too embarrassed to say anything to Porco. Reiner spoke normally, opening the letter that was the whole purpose of his visit. What the hell was wrong with him?

Porco didn't stay long after — which was completely understandable but unfortunate — and you politely led him out, quietly apologizing for your husband's sudden behavior.

"Don't sweat too much about it, he's your husband so it's normal to do things like that. Wish it wasn't in front of me though." Porco grumbled as he turned away, letting you close the door.

It was a quiet night between the two of you in bed, your back facing away from the man. Of course you were fuming, Reiner just had to make-out with you in front of one of the only people that you liked on this damn continent. He shuffled in bed before wrapping his arms around you, his head nestling in the crook of your neck. He pressed his lips against your skin, his stubble grazing along with it.

"Don't get mad at me, you know I don't like it when you talk to others without my permission." When did you ever need permission in the first place to talk to one of the warriors? He was the one who introduced you to them in the first place and now that you had a decent friend, he wants to take you away from him.

You didn't answer, pretending to be asleep in order for him to leave you alone for the night. Reiner was then quiet for a moment and you were sure that he had fallen asleep in this position, until something solid pressed against the crook of your ass. Your heart sank to your stomach suddenly as the arm wrapped around you pulled you even closer.

"That kiss earlier... Did you like it when Porco watched you whore yourself out to me?" Hot breath aired over your neck, a cold shiver going down your spine. He shuffled around for a few minutes, pulling up your nightgown ever so slightly until you felt something heavy and warm rest in-between your thighs, ever so close to your clothed pussy. Your breath quietly hitched and the inside of your mouth felt dry.

No. No. He wouldn't.

"I don't mind that proposition. I would be able to show him who you really belong to, Mrs. Braun." Teeth sank into your lower neck, not enough to hurt but enough to leave a mark. You bit down on your tongue, wanting to turn around and push him off the bed. You had almost made the motion in an attempt to do so until he started rocking into you, his shaft brushing up against your covered clit with every slow pump as he gripped the side of your hip.

You slightly jolted at the feeling, his movements pausing. Quickly and quietly as possible, you slipped your hand over your mouth inconspicuously and tried to breathe slowly as if you were still asleep. Reiner's hand dragged itself up from your hip to your chest, lightly squeezing before pinching your nipple. You bit the inside of your cheek, eyes clenching at the sensation.

He groaned against the crook in between your neck and shoulder, the sound vibrating as he resumed his thrusts. His mouth enveloped the area and he bit down again, harder. You twitched at the pain, your teeth clenching.

You knew about reproduction and small bits of other things about it like the genitals of the opposite gender, you learned about it back then in both training and the Survey Corps. There would be whispers among the older soldiers, the boys usually bragging about their conquests while the girls would be bashfully denying that anything occurred. But you were never interested in the romantic aspects that life is supposed to normally hand out, not in the world you once lived in. Having to survive against Titans was the utmost priority that occupied your mind back in Paradis. Crushes and partners couldn’t coexist with the horrors humanity had to defend against.

A small whimper nearly slipped out of your lips as your husband's tip caught itself against a particular spot on your clit as he simultaneously squeezed your pebbled nipple, your teeth digging into your palm. Reiner's breath burned hot against your skin as his pace began to accelerate, thrusts still wary as if he even cared if you were still asleep.

"God," Reiner sharply inhaled, shaky exhales coming out in short bursts. "If I knew how good this felt, I would've done it every single night."

He let out stifled grunts as he continuously grinded, the soft breathy sounds sending down even more pleasurable pulses in your lower half. It shouldn't be doing that in the first place.

You never touched yourself once in your entire adult life, only feeling the pangs of arousal from time to time but never doing anything about it. This kind of pleasure was a particular kind of torture, overwhelming shivers slowly clouding your mind with needless want. Every unknown sensation was new to you, from the way he played with your chest to the way he managed to rub himself precisely against the same spot over and over and over.

For a man that has never once touched his wife, it felt like he knew what he was doing. Reiner was one of the popular ones in the training corps; some of the girls quietly fawned over him in the dorms, begging you for some kind of info about him. You told them that the two of you were strictly platonic and had boundaries, back then at least.

Besides Historia, you were the only one that had caught and held his attention so he couldn't have practiced on someone else. There was also the fact that you've been married to him since you've arrived on Marley. Was there the possibility that he... cheated? There was no way, right? He was too obsessively enamored with you to begin with. Why were you even getting upset at the thought anyways?

He stopped thrusting against you, repositioning until you felt his heavy cock rest in the middle of your thighs. It throbbed and ached for more, an odd stickiness started to pool on top of your skin, and your own sex was left pulsing with uncomfortable want. His hand had also finally stopped fiddling around with your chest, disappearing from your body for a few seconds before finding itself resting on top of your mound.

"Gonna make you feel good." Reiner mumbled, words slurred as if he was intoxicated off of his lust.

Tentatively, he slipped inside of your underwear, warm fingers pushing down and in between the folds, as if he was searching for something. At first you were mildly confused about the intent, until a soft whine slipped through your lips.

Dread was the first thing that you felt, your stomach sinking down even lower. Embarrassment was second, how it was now that you realized how wet you were.

Reiner completely froze up and you quickly shut your eyes, trying to relax the hand on your mouth to remove any suspicions that you've been conscious the entire time. You waited for anything, if he was going to pull down your panties and take you right there or finally stop this torment. It was the latter to your surprise.

The warmth of his body suddenly left yours, hands and dick pulling away from you. You felt his weight lift off the bed and a door open and close as if he was in a rush. Was he going to the bathroom to take care of himself?

You slipped a hand down to your nether region, face burning up. Your panties were completely soaked, all because of a little bump and grind and some sensual touching. Your body had betrayed you immensely, continuing to pound with a desire to finish what he had started.

What if he was going to do this again and not stop there? You felt nauseous, there was no way in hell you were going to be able to fall asleep in peace anymore. You pulled the blanket completely on top of you, bundling yourself as if you were a caterpillar making its cocoon, ready to turn into a butterfly.

Reiner finally came back when you were starting to doze off, alertness running through your veins once more. There was hesitancy once more as he settled into the space next to you, pulling some of that precious blanket cocoon off of you. You froze up again as his hand rested on your shoulder but he didn't touch you like before, he simply tugged the strap back up in its proper spot. He pulled down your nightgown as well, kissing the side of your head and muttering a nearly silent half-assed apology.

You stopped tensing up when you knew his breaths began to slow, relief warming your heart.

Deep down, you knew it was finally time to go. The more you hesitated, the more trouble you'd get yourself into. It shouldn't be this complicated, your feelings towards Reiner shouldn't even be complicated. You fell asleep in a restless manner, thoughts swarming around your head.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

In the letter that Porco had left behind, it had said that Reiner was needed for another battle the day after the date he had planned but you couldn't wait that long anymore. When the night comes, you were going to escape from this hellhole. No more control from him, no more pressure from people who thought you were the very bane of their existence, no more of this horrid life.

You managed to slip a note to the man who would be taking you home a few days ago in preparation. It was during a market run and even if your closely guarding husband was there with you, you snuck it to him while buying fish.

Yes, your big break was a kind and somewhat elderly Eldian fisherman; he had mentioned that his son went to war for Marley and never came back, thus causing him to harbor hate towards the Marleyans. He knew that you came from Paradis Island — for quite some time, you were the talk of the internment zone — and briefly brought up a mention of a way back to your home when you were buying fish from him. The two of you went on his boat under the guise that he was giving you fresher and better quality catches and from there, he explained the plan to you and you've never felt more grateful.

The money was for his retirement in the fishing business, he had almost reached his goal and you were giving the last remaining bits to him. He'd give you a compass, supplies, and rations in order to survive in the ocean as he can only navigate the boat so far. The man had a spare boat in case of emergency but in your case, you would be using it the rest of the way.

The only setbacks in the plan were that you could possibly get stranded in the ocean and run out of food or drinkable water, or Titans could still be on the shores of Paradis, immediately killing you the second you step foot on the territory. However, anything would be better than staying one more minute with your husband. The other main flaw would be that if Reiner found out before you could execute the plan.

But he won't be able to find out, you already have something that would make sure he'll never find out until you were truly gone.

You've gotten them in a medical shop back then when you were still planning to kill him instead of living the role of a sweet little housewife. Rat poison didn't work as his body rejected it immediately but something that was basically a natural instinct, no way it could fail.

You've tested it too, in minute doses so he wouldn't notice. It was usually dinnertime when you put the crushed pills in his tea or soup, something liquid so it dissolved quicker. Because the dosage was so small, he'd get sleepy or doze off a little before waking up once more. He'd always excuse it for having a rough day in a meeting with the warriors and higher-ups or he didn't get a good night's sleep last night, never once he suspected it was you.

A part of you was exhilaratingly excited but another part of you was so doubtful and afraid. In your heart, you knew that the rewards outweighed the fear. You missed everyone, you missed the walled off lands you were born in, and you definitely missed your true name.

You made brownies and his favorite tea as a surprise after the date, both were stuffed to the brim with crushed up pills. You've estimated that he'd fall asleep as soon as he finished up the little dessert and you'd soon make your escape afterwards. You couldn't pack anything personal, he'd get too suspicious so you only were going to be able to take a jacket and the date clothes unfortunately. A part of you wanted to leave a goodbye note to both Porco and Pieck as they've treated you at least as a decent person, but it was too risky. Plus you didn't want Reiner to harass them when you went "missing".

As Reiner waited below for you to finish up your make-up, you shoved the money deeply down in your purse and took in a shaky breath. 'Don't break the act now, Y/N. You've done so much to get this far. It's time to finish this.'

Pulling the strap over your shoulder, you began your descent, heels clicking against the wooden floor. Reiner's eyes brightly lit up as you made your appearance, your heart beating wildly in your ribcage. His eyes lingered on your formal attire, trailing down the curvatures of your body.

"You look stunning Y/N, glad that you're using the dress I got you." He gazed at you with complete adoration, your face slightly flushing. He was so deeply appreciative of you, it was almost sickening. Like he was shoving bitter cough syrup down your throat over and over again, never once had you gotten used to the taste.

He got you a dark red dress that ended at the knees, beautiful jewels lining the curvature of your breasts. You matched it with a fluffy white fur coat, something he had gotten you a year ago on the anniversary of when you were taken to Marley.

You mumbled a shy 'thanks' as he put his arm out for you to take and you accepted it, interlocking with him as he began to pull you close. He pressed his face into your styled hair, kissing the top of your head.

"You used perfume too? You spoil me too much, tonight will be amazing I promise." You smiled, internally dreading that you knew what he meant. His mother gave you a hint about what he wanted to do to you from the recent celebration of him returning home, and he had always tried to coerce you about children ever since the two of you had gotten married. He'd never get the chance of course. So yeah, Reiner's right for once.

Tonight will certainly be amazing indeed, for one of you at least.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

"You know I love you right?"

The two of you finished dinner at that fancy Marleyan restaurant, ignoring the stares and murmurs about devil blood dining next to them, as if they weren't the demons themselves. The weight of their stares was an exhausting burden that you wanted to never have in the first place. Why be blamed for some shit that ancestors you can't even recall did? Ridiculous.

You were walking back home with him after a decent meal, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. As he asked that question, you nodded in cooperation.

"Of course I do, you've told me that you loved me ever since you've brought me here."

"I know I said that I'd wait until you'd be ready but Y/N," The two of you stopped walking and he took both your hands in his, facing you. God, you knew what he was about to ask but you still felt awfully nervous about it. "I want to start a family."

Your hands trembled in his grip as you let out an awkward, breathy sigh out. Looking up at him, it felt like your heart was ready to burst out of the confines of your ribcage. His hooded, hazel gaze was achingly tender, awaiting for the answer he wanted to hear.

The terrible part of you, the one who lived as a Marleyan housewife, the one that continuously gnawed on your insides, desperately wanted to agree just to get everything over with. This was the life you've been living for three years now, suck it up. Why ruin it? Why ruin any of the good moments you've been having with him?

Of course you wouldn't accept it, the sane part of you knew better. The part of you that was still a Survey Corps soldier clawed for freedom, for something better than this rotten relationship. He ruined everything for you in the first place, from your own family to the friends that laid at rest at Trost to your whole young adult life. You owed him nothing, nothing at all.

Finally, you gave him an answer. "Can we talk about this at home?"

Reiner's smile faltered lightly as you avoided the topic yet again. You felt his grip tighten, your shoulders tensing. "We can if it'll make you more comfortable. But I want an answer, a solid answer."

He wouldn't take a 'no' from you, not when it's been three years and last night was evidence that he was done waiting. You released one hand from his and placed it on the side of his face, stroking his cheek gently.

"I will answer it my love, don't worry. Let's get home now." To sweeten the deal even more, you tiptoed and gave him a light peck on the side of his lips. You could tell that it worked from the way his eyes softened, what a pushover. He went back to your side as the both of you began to walk once more home, crossing over the gate that separated the "real" Marleyans from the Eldians. This would be the last time you'd be passing through like this, you swore to yourself.

No matter what, you have to get home. No matter what.

Home wasn't that far, maybe it went by quicker in your mind due to you thinking that you were running out of time to meet up with the old fisherman. Reiner opened the door for you and you shuffled in, almost bee-lining to the kitchen. You were stopped however, his hand around your wrist.

"Hey. We still need to talk."

"I know, I just have something—" You tugged but he held on firmly, interrupting you.

"Y/N, you can't keep doing this. This is the last time that I'm asking politely." Take, take, take. That's all Reiner did. But he can't take this chance away from you, not this time.

"Please, it's important." He stood in silence, most likely weighing the choices in his head. Slowly, he released his hold and you thanked him quietly, thanked him for being such a fool. You pulled out the brownies from the pantry and quickly heated up the tea on the stove, getting out the nice plates and cups from the cabinets. This was going swimmingly! Maybe you really do have a chance at escaping, your body almost shivering from the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

Placing the brownies in a meticulous manner on the plate and pouring the now warm tea in a teacup, you walked over to your husband, who settled in at the dining table while he was awaiting for you. "Surprise! Your favorites."

Needless to say, he was astonished that you actually had something for him. You placed the dishes in front of him, smiling brightly. "I wanted to make you something to thank you for the night out, what more than a little dessert."

"You shouldn't have, you've done so much for me already sweetheart." You leaned down and let him kiss your cheek, internally impatient that he hadn't eaten it yet.

"It's really nothing much, but I hope it's to your liking." He smiled at you and picked up the laced dessert, your hands flexing up in eagerness. Watching him chew and swallow the whole thing was probably the best thing you've ever watched him do, and he drank up all the tea that was in the cup. It was a waiting game from here on out.

"Now then," He got up from the chair and stood in front of you, grabbing your shoulders. There was a slight wobble as he got up and held onto you, wow this shit was working faster than expected. "Can we finally start our family?"

You beamed as you watched his eyelids flutter, trying to stay awake and focus on what your answer could be. Reiner began to struggle to stay upright, almost leaning into you as drowsiness took over his body. Placing a hand on his forearm, you pushed it off.

"No."

Confusion muddled his tired expression, as if he was expecting an actual yes. "W-what?"

"No, I don't want to start a family with you Reiner. Want me to spell it out for you? N. O." The smile you had wore down into an infuriated grimace as you took one step back away from him. He started stumbling backwards and you let him, watching him hit the chair and fall to the ground with it. The clattering sound of the chair reverbed loudly in your ears, but nothing sounded more beautiful than his body hitting the floor. He tried to get up but his body was betraying him, just as you intended.

When he realized that he was unable to stand after a few attempts, he began to yell out your name like a child, sounding angry and disorientated. Ignoring him, you quickly went upstairs to grab a suitable coat, kicking off the tall heels. You couldn't turn on the lights, in fear that it would waste too much time so you kept bumping into different objects, frustration bubbling in your throat.

The room had to be a mess from your brisk rummaging but no more time can be wasted. You had to go now.

As you went back down, Reiner's screaming had settled down into incomprehensible slurring and his head continued to bob up and down to try and stay conscious. Your eyes met and he made another attempt to get up, panic arising in the depths of his eyes. Maybe now he was realizing that you were about to disappear forever.

"Go fuck yourself."

Reiner screamed out your name as you opened the front door — or what you assumed to be your name — before losing consciousness and hitting his head to the wooden floor. Clutching onto the money-filled purse, you began to dash over to the docks, not looking back. You winced at the small pebbles that dug into the skin of your bare feet but you couldn't take the chance of trying to find the best shoes to run in.

This pain is temporary, anything that hurt you now would never compare to the prison that he had put you in. The wind started to pick up, biting at your face and legs, and as you glanced up at the sky, dark clouds began to roll in. You hope that it wouldn't be too bad at sea and if you died there, you would have died happy.

"Mr. Kraus? Are you there?" You called out to the ships, trying to search for his boat. You said his name a few more times before you caught a lantern that was being lifted up and down. Rushing over and ducking into the boat, you began to pull out the money to give to him.

"Woah! Slow your roll there outsider."

"I can't!" You put your hand over your mouth, not realizing that you were starting to lose your nerves. "My apologies for yelling. But I can't, he could wake up at any time. Please, can we hurry this up?"

Mr. Kraus waved his hand to let you continue and adjusted the hat on his head, pulling it back to watch you place the money on the small table. "That's all of it, your retirement goal is done. Now, can you now start up the boat please?"

He nodded, patting your shoulder. "Thank you for your assistance with this, really couldn't have done it without you. Help me get the ropes off and I'll send you on your way."

"Thank you." An exasperated sigh escaped you and for the first time in forever, you felt like you could finally relax.

You exited out of the boat after the old man, clutching onto the jacket. There was rain pelting down, the sounds of a muffled thunder rumbling through the night sky. Flickers of lightning lit up the dark, vaguely letting you see where you were going.

You followed after him, pulling at the ropes that connected the boat to the dock. It was coarse against the palms of your hands and the rain wasn't adding in with the pleasantness of the feeling. It took a few tugs but they finally gave in, letting you pull them into the boat and onto the deck. A few more to go and then you'd never see Liberio ever again. Your time here in Marley would be nothing but an extremely unpleasant memory.

Continuing to remove the ropes, you finally pulled in the last on your side. You giddily let out an excited yell, letting the rain trickle down your face. "Hey Mr. Kraus! It's finished!"

You stumbled over to him, eyes wide with happiness. There was a smile on his face too, he was sharing the same enthusiasm as you but for a different reason of course. He told you to get into the cabin before you caught something and you did as you were told. Barely turning away from him to get into the cabin, your thoughts ran wild.

What were you going to see in Paradis? Were you really going to see your friends again? Has the technology there advanced as much as here? Was the Survey Corps still fighting to explore the outside? Was Captain Levi still shorter than you? These kinds of questions would eventually all be answered.

This was it, you were finally going to be—

The deafening sound of a rifle going off before the clap of thunder chilled you to the core. You stopped trying to get into the cabin. How could you ever forget that kind of sound? You were in the elevator back in Trost, the resonating boom and click of the guns went off in all directions, the shells tinkling onto the ground. A warm liquid splashed onto the side of your face, pieces of an unknown substance landing along with it, and the sound of a mutilating crack came afterwards. Unease began to bubble in your stomach.

As you turned to look at Mr. Kraus, your eyes began to widen and it felt as if the world went into slow motion.

He was facing the docks, away from you, his head ricocheting backwards from the force of the shot. His body fell back and almost into you, hitting the deck with a heavy thump. A hand went over your mouth, the bitterness of bile beginning to leave a taste.

It was a sickening sight. Sure, you've seen people die before but not like this. For some reason, this felt more inhumane than the Titans. The entry hole was in the middle of his forehead, his eyes glassy and wide. It was the perfect shot really. His mouth was largely agape, as if he was about to yell something before getting his brains blown off and strewn across his boat. Crimson began to pool around him, the substance dribbling down the steps and into the crevices of the wood.

Turning away from the freshly made corpse, you shakily turned your attention to the docks. As if on cue, bolts of lightning struck down in uneven intervals and lit up the world around you. The feelings of dread and anguish sank down into your stomach, settling heavily. It couldn't be but there was nothing that was able to deny it.

There he was.

Reiner Braun.

In his hands... was a freshly fired rifle.

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