#idk what my subconscious and unconscious brain were trying to say with that one

[thephouseplants]

Had a dream last night where Dan just appeared, i was wondering weather i would suit a Poncho, to which Mr Howell said "you look like a Poncho's super daddy," then left?!

I am still trying to figure out what this implies.

[angkis]

I hope you don't mind, but do you have advices for other artists? I try to draw too, but my drawings never come out looking like the reference, like I'm unable to draw something alike Derek or Stiles, that's frustrating hahahaha

The colouring, the anatomy 😩 you are so fucking amazing!

Thanks for sharing your art pieces with us ❤️

First of all, I'm honored that you ask ME this question, because I'm not very confident (working on it 💫) and it's like a huge compliment that you would even ask.

Llike every other artist, you and me are both gonna be the biggest critics of our own drawings!! I just want you to know that before I say anything else! If you ever feel like you're not getting any better or not fast enough, take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, go back, look at where you started, it's only a question of time, you're constantly evolving!! <3 Be patient with yourself ~

I'm sure you were thinking of actual advice not the mental part, so I thought of some, but for real, most of what formed my art style (that is constantly changing and is gonna continue to change until I die 👁️👁️) was TIME. I don't always love to draw but when I have these periods of drawing a lot it's always because I'm hyperfixating on something, so finding something you can fall in love with and obsess over is gonna make time absolutely FLY BY.

Don't get discouraged when you're not nailing a character the first time you draw them. I personally only get it somewhat right at like the fifth try (funny enough I'm an impatient person but when I love something I seem to be able to be patient 💀💫) if anything Do it out of spite!!!!!!

Practice is a funny word, I don't like it because it seems like you have to know what you're trying to achieve if that makes sense. Maybe that can hold you back too. Drawing something and failing still counts as practicing. Finishing the best painting of your lifetime counts as practicing. Every time you draw you get better.

Ooooooh an interesting one that I only figured out this year: SPEND (if you can) MORE TIME OUTSIDE AND AROUND PEOPLE because your eyes notice lightings, movements, expressions, COLOURS that you then unconsciously (subconsciously?) keep in your head for later!! And when you are drawing you're gonna UNCONSCIOUSLY use that information??? It's wild (says the person who spent years barely leaving their bedroom) I'm not even exaggerating, my art got out of the blue so much 'better' (different) when I started leaving the house more often. (You might not have this issue tho!! 💫)

Also I started drawing when I was watching a lot of animated movies/shows and it influenced my art so much. When I got hooked on shows with live actors everything changed (again, your brain is putting away so many details for later) I started seeing anatomy more realistically.

One last tip before I stop rambling (and make another coffee 💫) Find a pen that WORKS FOR YOU. My stuff would look so much different if I was using different brushes than I use now. Try as much as you want! Do you prefer traditional or digital drawing? Both have cheaper alternatives (I understand this hobby is not a cheap one in general) I have a bunch of tips for Clip Studio Paint for example! Idk, let me know, I would love to show you my favourite settings that actually make my life easier!! ❤️

Sorry if I'm all over the place, I'm not too good with words 👁️👁️ I hope it's not gonna be like 'I really read all that for nothing' for you sgsggshshsgsh in which case I'M SO SORRY SFSGGGSGSGSG and again, thanks for your question!! I wish you luck!! Keep drawing!! You're gonna surprise yourself how far you can go I'm so serious!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[stardust-and-snickerdoodles]

Soft

fandom: Daredevil

pairing: Matt Murdock x plus size Reader

summary: requested by @morganofthecoves1​: Hello! I was wondering if you could do a matt Murdock x plus size reader with the prompt 5. “Can I hug you?” and/or 9. “Has she asked about me?”. Maybe reader is friends with Karen and Matt keeps on asking about her. Idk, something fluffy. There aren't enough X plus size reader fanfics for Matt out there. If you aren't comfortable with writing a plus size reader that's a-ok. Hope you have a good day!

warnings: fluff, some self-deprecating thoughts (but you’re learning to love yourself ❤️)

word count: 1879

a/n: i hope this is okay for you! i tried my best but it is my first time writing a plus size reader so please give me feedback!

Matt enters the office to the smell of coffee and the sound of Karen slamming her hand on the copy machine.

“Still having issues?” Matt asks with a smirk as he closes the door behind him.

Karen lets out a frustrated sigh. “Yeah. I thought that repair guy got it all figured out but apparently not.”

Matt goes to lean on Karen’s desk in the middle of the office. “Why don’t you ask Y/N about it?” he asks, feigning innocence. “I thought you said she’s pretty good with tech.”

Karen turns and crosses her arms over her chest. She can see right through Matt’s charade. “You’re just trying to get her back in the office,” she says, voice light with amusement.

Ever since you came in a few weeks ago to drop off lunch for Karen, Matt hasn’t been able to get his mind off you. Your voice fills his every waking thought, your laugh invades his headspace all day long. Matt wants to meet you again. He wants to hear your voice in person again.

He wants you. He hasn’t felt this way in a long time.

A fiery blush crawls up Matt’s cheeks. He senses the warmth and tilts his head down. “N-no,” he stammers, “I just want you to get the copier working.”

“Don’t lie to me, Matthew,” Karen says, taking a sip from her coffee. “She’s cute, nice; I get it. Plus, who knows… maybe she feels the same way.”

Matt perks up at this. “Has she asked about me?”

Karen rolls her eyes and laughs. “You’re like a lovesick puppy, ya know. It’s adorable.” She turns back to the copier and stares at the unruly machine for a moment. “Maybe I will call her though. If anyone can fix this thing, it’s Y/N.”

Matt doesn’t try to stop the smile that spreads across his face as he goes to his office.

…

It’s later that day when Matt hears the door to the main office open. Karen greets the new arrival in a friendly manner, making Matt guess that it’s one of her friends. And then he hears your voice again.

It has the same effect it did the first time he heard it. Matt’s heart stammers for a moment, struck by the perfect rhythm of your speech. It’s almost like you’re singing every word.

Matt takes a deep breath to calm himself and thinks about what he’s going to do. Is it too weird if he goes out to say hello? Is it rude if he doesn’t?

He’s about to stand up and go outside to greet you when he zones back in to the conversation you’re having with Karen.

“Where are they boys?” you ask, slightly amused. Matt can hear the slight expectancy in your voice and senses your heartbeat pick up minutely.

“Foggy went out to meet with a client; he should be back soon. And I think Matt’s still in his office,” Karen responds.

“Oh,” is your short response. Matt thinks he hears a bit of anticipation in your tone.

It’s now or never, he decides. Straightening his tie, he grabs his cane and makes his way over to the door.

The familiar scent of your lotion fills Matt’s senses and he unconsciously relaxes a little bit. You seem to have that effect on him: utter exhilaration at first and then peace soon after.

“Hello Y/N,” he says, turning toward you as he enters the room.

“Hi, Matt,” you answer shyly, wrapping your arms around yourself.

There’s something so pure about you. Matt doesn’t need to have vision to see that you’re gorgeous, despite the waves of insecurity you send into the world. Matt wishes he could take all that self-doubt away from you. He wishes he could make you see what he sees. How the air swirls around you and shows him the gentle swell of your hips, how the temperature around your face grows warmer when he smiles at you.

He wishes you’d unwrap your arms from around your stomach. He wants to take in all of you, but it seems you only want to cover yourself. How can you not see that you are so unimaginably lovely?

He thinks this a small tragedy and makes it his mission to show you your beauty.

“How are you?” he asks politely, stepping closer to you and resting his hands over top his cane.

You shrug, holding yourself tighter as he grows near. “I’m okay. Yourself?”

“Better now that you’re here,” Matt smirks, ever the flirt. But even this smooth line can’t soothe the nerves he feels around you.

Karen rolls her eyes. “Get a room,” she mumbles jokingly, stepping behind her desk and shuffling some papers. “Or better yet, Y/N, why don’t you help me with the copy machine? You know, the reason you’re here?” Karen gives you a pointed look. She wants nothing more than to see you happy; she knows how much you’ve struggled lately.

You nod hesitantly, glancing back at Matt once more. “Uh, yeah, sure Karen,” you murmur, watching Matt go back into his office.

A few hours later, you’ve finally figured out the mystery of the copy machine. The sun is setting in a blaze of red behind the skyline. Foggy left a couple minutes ago but Matt has yet to reemerge from his office.

You announce your victory of the copier to Karen, who high-fives you and offers to split a cab to your respective apartments.

“Oh, n-no,” you stumble, “that’s okay. I was hoping to talk to Matt about something actually.”

Karen doesn’t look quite as surprised as you thought she would. In fact, she almost looks like she expected you to answer the way you did. “Alright. Get home safe, Y/N,” she states as she waves and leaves the office.

You watch the door close with a click and suck in a deep breath. This is your chance. There’s no one else here. You can finally tell Matt how you feel.

You’ve had a crush on Matt ever since that first time you saw him when you brought lunch for Karen. He had been so kind and sweet to you.

A small thought objects in the back of your brain. He only likes you because he can’t see you.

You subconsciously bring your arms around yourself, looking down at your figure. You’re not exactly a model, but you’ve been learning to accept yourself for who you are. But trying to get others to accept you? A whole different ballgame.

You were lucky to have a friend like Karen. She was one of the only people who saw you as more than your body. Sure, you had good friends before, but ultimately, they all moved on when they found better people or boyfriends. Most of your friends had settled down already. You and Karen were some of the few to not be romantically involved, and you were grateful for the sweet secretary.

And of course, it was because of Karen that you were introduced to Matt.

The sound of Matt’s office door closing draws you out of your thoughts. You’d almost forgotten that you’re standing in the open and that he’s just one room over. You turn to face him guiltily, still holding your arms close to your body.

“Y/N? What are you still doing here?” Matt asks. “It’s late; you should be getting home.”

Of course, Matt had overheard your earlier conversation with Karen, but he can’t let you know that.

You hum and look anywhere but his face. “I just, um, wanted to talk to you. About… stuff.” You mentally kick yourself for being so illiterate with your speech but Matt doesn’t seem to care.

He leans his cane against the wall and steps toward you. “Of course. What’s going on?”

You step backward and lean against the desk, trying to put more space between the two of you. “I just… I don’t know, I thought you’d like some company. Maybe.”

Matt senses how you move away from him every time he tries to get closer, so he stops moving and stays where he is. Your heart is beating wildly, but it relaxes minutely when he stops approaching. “Thank you,” he says sincerely. “I appreciate that.”

There’s an awkward pause before Matt speaks again. “Are you… are you okay?” he asks, hesitating for a moment. “You seem nervous.”

You blush, looking at the floor. “I really like you,” you murmur without thinking.

The corners of Matt’s lips curve up slightly. Before he can respond, you begin rambling, your words all coming out in one breath.

“But I totally understand if you don’t feel the same way or if you already have a girlfriend or something. Because how could someone like you be single? Yeah, I mean you probably have loads of girls pining over you already so I don’t even know why I’d even mention that. Plus, you’re so, I mean, wow, you’re gorgeous and I’m all, all, I don’t know, all soft or whatever and not even anywhere close to your level. So, I totally get it. I’m going to go now.” You blurt out the last sentence and begin speed-walking toward the door.

Before you even make it a couple steps, Matt catches your arm. You stiffen and turn to face him, trying to ignore the burning of unfallen tears in your eyes. He’s removed his glasses and his face carries the most admiration you’ve ever seen.

“Stay,” he whispers. “Please.”

You relax and he releases your arm from his grip. He tries to meet your eyes as best he can.

“Can I hug you?” The words are gentle, not demanding. Just a simple, innocent request.

You battle your mind for a moment, trying to come up with a decision. You don’t like people touching you, afraid they’ll find all those curves and bumps that make you insecure sometimes. But at the same time, there’s nothing you want more than Matt’s arms around you.

“Yeah,” your voice breaks and Matt notices that the sing-song quality is gone from your tone.

He pulls you toward him and envelopes you in his arms, keeping his grip light so that you can pull away if you want. You inhale the scent of his cologne, closing your eyes and trying to calm yourself.

“You’re beautiful,” Matt murmurs, stroking a hand through your hair.

You sniffle a bit, not trying to stop the smile that overtakes your lips.

Matt gives you a gentle squeeze and continues to speak, “And I don’t have a girlfriend.”

You pull away slightly and look up at him. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Oh.” You press yourself back against his chest.

Matt chuckles and rubs his hands up and down your arms. “You’re so gorgeous, Y/N. Anyone would be lucky to have you. I just hope they know they’ll have to go through me first.”

Your smile grows and you close your eyes, doing your best to keep this moment ingrained in your memory. “Seriously?” you mumble.

“Absolutely.” Matt’s voice rumbles in his chest, sending chills through you.

Throwing caution to the wind, you allow yourself to relax and say, “I suppose you do have a girlfriend now, Matt.”

“I suppose I do,” he chuckles. “And I wouldn’t want anyone else.”

>>>

tags: @aspie-allie​

[acrobaticcatfeline]

Logan and His Little Bumble Bee (Single Dads AU) Chapter 4!!!

Word Count: 3643

TW: swearing, deceit, vague mentions of vague trauma, arguments, crying, unconscious projecting, one quick mention of homophobia, roman is a big nervous a lot lmk if I missed anything!!!

Notes: This was out way sooner than I expected. So I made this one revolving around Roman and Dmitri for once, because we don’t get that much and now he has thoughts and things to say!!! Anyways it starts a bit angsty but its really soft and fluffy and I love my baby gays. It’s dialogue heavy this time around, it’s almost as if my writing changes subconsciously depending on which character I am writing. Huh. I hope you enjoy it, I worked my butt off for it. Previous chapter here, first chapter here!

Summary: “you are 15 years old! Absolutely not!!!” Logan is having trouble letting Roman be himself, projecting his own bad experiences on him without realizing it. Roman and Dmitri kiss a lot because they’re really soft and really gay.

“you are 15 years old! Absolutely not!!!”

“dad people in my grade have been dating since they were 10 come on!”

“and they're irresponsible and don’t know better! Roman it is not a good idea-”

“Logan dear be rational; kids are supposed to-”

“NO!”

Everyone paused as Logan screamed. Roman had flinched and Logan winced knowing he caused it, but he couldn’t just stop at this point.

“Roman, dating this young is a bad idea, take it from me. I mean that was when I got together with mercy-”

“you can’t say that like it’s the biggest mistake you’ve made dad!!! Because… because if it was then I would have-I know it ended badly with you and her, but you were still happy at the time! You can’t just keep me from experiencing things because you're scared dad. I'm not you. I-I need to live my own life eventually, and if I don’t know how to then what am I gonna do when I'm an adult?”

“you don’t- Roman that isn't necessary to be happy, I mean look at me and Patton-”

“well maybe I don’t want to pine for someone for 9 years!!! Maybe, maybe I want to live my life now, instead of waiting in fear!!! Maybe I want my happily ever after before I settle down, maybe, for once, I want to live my life without worrying that I'm a disappointment to my parents!!! I know you don’t mean to but you just, you make everything so hard! You-you have so much, so much hope. That I'm going to be this perfect kid and I'm gonna grow up to be amazing, and its exhausting! I want to make a decision without worrying that I'm going to do wrong by you! And then mercy… mercy never saw me for me, and I always had to be perfect for her and she's gone now but I'm just so tired dad! I'm tired of trying to fit inside this perfect box that I think you have for me, I want to be a teenager, I want to date, I want to go to parties, I want to make mistakes and not cry myself to sleep thinking I've made you hate me. It’s so hard to try to make you happy all the time. I want to have a chance to just make me happy.”

Logan stared at Roman. He had been trying so hard to protect him and take care of him, and all he had been doing was overwhelming him. He had never meant to do any of it, Roman was right, but he went back through his brain and it hurt to see that he had unconsciously pushed his son onto a pedestal that was impossible to escape from. He was never disappointed in him, whether he did good or bad or made mistakes, he had always tried to show that he was proud no matter what. He felt tears welling in his eyes and saw Roman twist uncomfortably. He felt Patton's arm wrap around his shoulders, but he couldn’t stay there, his mind was racing too fast. He was catastrophizing he knew, but he couldn’t so easily stop himself. His head was knocked out of the process when Roman ran into his arms, wrapping him in a hug. He let his arms fold around his sons waist, letting a few tears fall.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry dad I just- I needed to tell you and I was going to tell you in a nicer way, a better planned way but then this happened and it all came out I'm sorry dad I didn’t mean to make you cry”

“it’s- its fine Ro. I needed to hear that from you. I'm. I'm sorry Ro I didn’t mean it. I try so hard to show that I'm always proud of you, god you have helped me so much and I've never realized that I was making you feel so pressured I'm sorry bee, I’ll try harder, I didn’t know-”

Logan���s head was buried in Roman’s chest, it was the benefit of his son growing taller than him, he could hide his tear stained face out of sight. He sniffed a bit, rubbing his eyes before letting go of him. He smiled widely at Roman.

“I was wrong to have set such impossible standards. It was wrong of me to treat you like I had a second chance at my childhood. I really, just want the best for you but-”

He took a sharp inhale and looked him in the eyes.

“but its your life. And-and if you want, if you want to date. Then, I-I support you completely. Because, because I love you Roman. So so much.”

His eyes teared up again, and he let out a choked laugh while rubbing his eyes clear. Roman smiled at him and hugged him again, thanking him profusely. At that point Virgil walked back inside. He looked at the scene, sending a questioning glance at Patton over the other two. Patton let out a small smile and shook his head, to which Virgil shrugged and went upstairs without a further thought.

 “so, he was fine with it?”

“I mean he wasn’t, but I explained a few things and he's fine with it now. It took a little bit of the harsher truths to be spilled for him to understand my point, and a few tears, but yeah.”

“wow. I haven’t seen… either of you cry in my entire time knowing you.”

“yeah it doesn’t happen often. I think the last time I saw my dad cry was when he told me that mercy wasn’t coming back.”

“geez that’s a long time. And its always baffled me that I've never seen you cry; I've known you since you were 2.”

“yeah, I'm a uh, private crier. I don’t think I've cried in front of people really since I could talk.”

“fuck man how the hell did you manage that?”

“… I mean I don’t remember it, but I think it was a leftover from when I still lived with mercy.”

“what.”

“eh, it doesn’t matter.”

“no wait what? What did she do to you?”

“pfft, I just told you Vee, I don’t remember. I get vague fuzzy feelings that are sorta like if memories were feelings, but otherwise I have no idea.”

“that’s fucked up man”

“meh. Anyways back to the original topic, soooo can I get Dmitri's number?”

“oh my god.”

“oh, and you're at 75 cents.”

“shit.”

“a dollar!”

 Virgil had handed over his number easily, smirking as Roman gave him a hug before dashing into his own room. Roman had immediately sent Dmitri a text, ‘hey, its Roman! Dads way more chill now so I stole your number from Virgil’ and he had responded almost immediately.

‘neat so are we gonna talk about what that was?’

‘I mean, I thought it was p straight forward, but I mean if you think we should?’

‘I mean yeah but’

Radio silence for a minute

‘but like, idk if you want this to be serious or smth like, casual. I mean I don’t care either way’

‘oh! Well something serious sounds nice!’

‘thank god I was not prepared for something casual regardless of what I said’

‘pfft, its fine tough guy’

‘if that nickname sticks you gotta use it around rem, it'll make him bug out’

‘alrighty! Tough guy~’

‘ouch yo chill it with that I'm in public’

‘pfft ur a dork Dee!’

‘I am absolutely not a whale’s penis and I'm offended you would even imply it’

‘oh my god I'm gonna break up with you’

‘nooooo don’t do that I'm too dark and mysterious to be broken up with for that’

‘dark and mysterious my butt! The only dark thing about you is your humor and the only mysterious things about you are your eyes!’

‘babe I have a reputation to keep up!’

‘guess your rep will just have to fit me in there somewhere then!’

‘god you are adorable, I gtg before you somehow make me start uwuing at my family’

‘uwu bye bye mistew dmitwi!!!’

‘god its disgusting kill it with fire’

‘love you too Dee! <3<3<3’

‘<3’

Roman set down his phone afterwards, feeling the butterflies attacking his insides like rabid animals. He changed the tab over to his YouTube and put on his headphones, listening to his curated BTS playlist, starting off with answer: love myself, bopping along and humming. He switched the tab and scrolled through Tumblr smiling at the posts about his favorite superheroes.

 The next week was absolutely blissful for Roman, he alternated between sitting at his table with a few of his acquaintances who he would chat with about his hyperfixations, and with Dmitri and his friends. Virgil had a different lunch hour luckily, otherwise he would have been slightly embarrassed. But hilariously the first day he sat with Dee, his friends were caught off guard as a boy in soft pastels and stonewashed jeans sat beside Dmitri and was immediately nestled underneath his arm. There were words signed across the table and Dee would chuckle and respond which sent their eyes flying to Roman in his seat as he ate his sandwich oblivious to the reason he was being stared at, just sending kind smiles back at them.

When lunch had ended, he had stood on his toes and kissed Dee’s cheek and his friends all had the shocked looks on their faces again. He ran off to class and had forgotten about the whole interaction afterwards. He was only reminded after school through a text from Dee.

‘sorry about my friends at lunch, they're judgmental shits. I told them off but knowing them they might continue to be asshats anyways’

‘huh. Didn’t even notice. I really need to get around to fully learning sign, I have the smallest feeling that if I'm hanging out with you more it might possibly be useful.’

‘meh, if I really need you to know something and I can’t talk I’ll just text you.’

‘mmm but I still want to learn! Anyways what were they saying’

‘oh they were being dicks about your clothes and then they were being shits about me dating you, they're assholes, I only hang out with them cuz coach had everyone learn sign for me and they're the only people I can talk to during the school day’

‘oh, that’s rude! Do you want me to stop hanging out with you at lunch?’

‘no not at all, I just want you to know what you're getting into’

‘mhm!’

The next time Roman sat with them, he had sent about 8 insults to the people around the table while Dee wasn’t looking, essentially ‘fuck off you judgmental homophobic dicks’ and after that the group shut their traps about him and Dee.

 The week after, Dmitri was busy almost always. There was a big game this weekend and he Remy and Virgil were always either practicing, doing schoolwork, or sleeping for the most part. He would send good morning and good night texts but that was mostly it and Roman felt dumb for missing him so much. Virgil invited him to practice after seeing him sitting around staring at his phone like a kicked dog.

He had sat on the bleachers, watching the coach drill them and them playing near their best. They had taken a rest and Dmitri had made his way up to him, a giant bottle of water in hand. He smiled and let out a croaked hello.

“oh, Dmitri when was the last time you spoke?”

He had coughed and held up a 6 on his fingers. Roman pouted and placed a kiss on his chapped lips. Dmitri waved his hand to say it isn't a problem with a smile on his face and it made Roman pout more and kiss him again, wrapping his arms around himself after. Dee ruffled his hair and went to say something when the whistle blew calling them back. He sighed and stood up, signing ‘I love you’ before rushing back to the field. Roman sat in silence, watching them play once again.

 Roman was beaming. The game was today and that meant he would get Dmitri back afterwards along with Remy and Virgil. He was filled with jitters; he knows the team had been working tirelessly for the whole week and he was excited to see his friends kick the rival schools butt! He was rushing Patton out the door again, just like he was a few weeks before but for a separate reason this time.

He wasn’t expecting the time at the game to fly as quick as it did, but here he was. It was nearing the end and they weren’t very far ahead, and the worry was clear on the teams faces. And then Dmitri had the ball! The crowd roared in surprise and excitement as he weaved around the opposition. He got caught near the goal and Roman was on the edge of his seat as Dmitri kicked the ball straight into the goal. The cheers were immediate, the buzzer signaling the end of the game followed a few seconds later. Roman was up and standing at the edge of the guardrail of the bleachers jumping up and down and screaming. He raced down and met Dmitri at the entrance of the showers, looking around before tugging him off towards the underside of the bleachers. He spoke in barely restrained squeals.

“Dee I'm so proud of you!!! Oh, my goodness you did so well!!! I can’t even-”

Dmitri cut him off with a kiss, one that Roman reciprocated immediately, wrapping his arms around his neck and tilting his head as well as he could with the height difference they had when suddenly he wasn’t standing on his own feet but being held in the air from his waist. He broke the kiss with a squeak, placing his hands-on Dmitri's shoulders as he was hoisted in the air by a happy Dee. He squeaked again as he was spun around before being set on the ground. When he was steady again, he looked up at Dmitri with an amused but confused face.

“we did it”

“you did! Had you not processed that yet?”

“not really no.”

“oh, my goodness you are a dork.”

“listen if you had scored the last goal you would be a little stunned too”

“valid however-”

“oh, just shut up and kiss me again you prep”

“gladly”

“ey before you two start making out you might want to go talk to the team? They're sort of wanting to congratulate you, but you disappeared.”

Roman froze in embarrassment at his brother catching them. Dmitri just smirked and turned to face him.

“listen if any of them could get a significant other they would understand. But considering that even you haven’t gotten the nerve to ask out Remy yet, I guess they wouldn’t so I guess I should grace them with my presence, huh babe?”

“hey, fuck off my little brother didn’t need to know I like your brother!”

“oops!”

Roman giggled a bit at the blush that spread across Virgil's face. He nudged Dmitri.

“be nice honeybee. And he's right, I stole you from your festivities! We should head back over; we can be cute later”

“nonsense, that implies that you can stop being cute”

“bluhhhh that’s my brotherrrrr come on you two, be gross later”

 “DMITRI THAT WAS LEGENDARY!!!”

Dee had a cocky look on his face as his teammates congratulated him, Remy running up and tackling in a hug at first sight. He chuckled wordlessly at his brother who was screaming praise at him and then dragging him into the showers. The team followed them in all continuing to shout praise and Roman contemplated following as well. He eventually just went in after about 10 minutes, finding Dmitri surrounded by his team and. He blanched and turned around a corner, hiding his face in his hands. On the other side, Dmitri sat with blue jeans and no shirt, still dripping water from his hair. He took a few big breaths before wandering back over, not trying to push past anyone and just standing where he knew Dmitri could see him. He flushed when Dmitri smiled and winked at him over the heads of his teammates, curling up in his arms and covering his face again. He whispered to himself in his hands

“gosh I'm really gay and he's unfairly pretty”

It wasn’t much longer before the group had filed out, done with the celebration, Virgil given him a nudge as he left. He walked in, seeing Dmitri finally pulling out his shirt, and Roman couldn’t help but turn away with a bit of shyness hitting him again.

“what's up Roman? You good babe?”

“mhm! You just um,”

His mouth felt dry as salt and he was wondering when that happened.

“you look nice…”

“pfft you're a nerd.”

Roman’s mind came up with several scenarios for what could happen as he stood up to kiss him. Of course, all that happened was hands around his waist as Dee leant down to give him an easier time. He still felt fuzzy but ignored it as Dmitri pulled away to put his shirt on, quickly pulling on his leather jacket on afterwards before placing a kiss on Roman’s temple and grabbing his hand.

“come on, I'm stealing you, my folks are treating the team to ice cream and pizza and they’ve been wanting to meet you.”

“wh-what? Wait you talk about me with your parents?”

“Remy sold me out day one, but yeah, they seem genuinely interested in meeting you, so I mean why not?”

“oh. Ok then. I should probably tell my dads first, but I’ll be back!”

He ran up to Logan, wrapping him in a hug before explaining everything to him and Patton. Logan looked unsure but Patton backed him up.

“Lolo, Virgil's going to be there too, and it’s not like he's going to be stranded! Plus, there's a new diner that opened a bit ago that I've been wanting to take you to!”

“…ok. You have your keys and your wallet and your phone, right?”

“yes dad!”

“…ok then. Go have fun. Let me or pat know when you are coming home.”

“ok! See you guys tonight! Love you!!!”

 The party was far more calm than Roman had expected, most of the team dipping early on leaving just him and Virgil as guests. Neither could complain, they had free access to an abundance of pizza and ice cream, and they could spend uninterrupted time with the objects of their affections. Virgil and Remy had absconded upstairs playing games or something while Roman was sitting next to Dmitri and his parents.

“how long have you been dating now?”

“um, 2 weeks!”

“wow! And you two are already attached by the hip huh?”

Roman nodded as his cheeks burned. He felt his boyfriends arm snake around his waist, pulling him closer.

“oh, you two are adorable! We’ll leave you be, don’t have too much fun with him kiddo!”

Roman visibly relaxed as they left, leaning against his boyfriend and letting out a sigh. Dmitri moved his arm up, running his fingers through his hair, grinning at the purr like noise Roman made in response.

“you should stay the night”

“my dad wouldn’t let me do that unless-”

Virgil stormed down the stairs with a lovesick expression.

“Roman we’re staying the night!”

“oh! Does dad-”

“yeah don’t worry its fine they're chill!”

“what happened?”

“I-”

“BOY YOU BETTER GET BACK UP HERE AND KISS ME I'M HAVING KISS WITHDRAWL”

“let’s say me and Remy are a thing now? Gotta go!”

“…about what I was saying…”

“isn't that the best timing huh?”

“oh hush!”

“wanna head to bed? It is pretty late.”

“um, sure. But I wanted to cuddle some more…”

“who said I was gonna stop cuddling you nerd?”

“I? um uh”

“you can share a bed without it being sexual I hope you know.”

“oh! Oh yeah I totally, yeah duh, of course”

“come on babe”

Roman frowned at him rolling his eyes but followed him upstairs. He had walked into his room and grabbed some clothing before filing into the bathroom. When he came back, Roman had to confronts his gay again, as he was shirtless once again and he was talking to him and he's got to focus dammit!

“-so that’s why, also I have various pajamas in there, and I also have shirts that are probably way to big for you in there as well, take your pick.”

“oh um, I was just gonna sleep in this!”

“…yeah no. those jeans are way too form fitting to get away with sleeping in, and your shirt does not look nearly comfortable enough.”

“o-okay then I guess…”

He grabbed a pair of sleep shorts and one of his shirts and headed into the bathroom. When he came back, he immediately launched himself into his boyfriends’ arms. Dmitri giggled seeing the shirt choice, placing a quick kiss on his nose.

“nah you're a sarcastic butterfly”

“shhhhh I'm a sarcastic mothhhh”

“keep tellin yourself that precious”

Roman sputters a bit before giving up and hiding his face in Dee’s chest. Dmitri goes back to playing with Roman’s hair, and Roman leans into the touch. After a bit of time passes, he stops, and nudges Roman fully into bed.

“why’d you stop?”

“because that’s not a comfortable sleep position. Lay down prep, sleep is important.”

“but I don’t want to sleep, I want kisses”

Dmitri rolls his eyes and kisses Roman. By the time he pulls away, Roman has passed out. He laughs quietly and wraps his arms around the smaller boy, letting himself drift off as well.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel @asleepybisexual @starbucks-remy @idioticsky @ijustreallylovesanderssides @superwholocked-for-life @band-be-boss-blog @llamaly @logicality-trash @fiive-second-cookies @whats-going-on-kiddos @snowshoe-main-blog @007ardra @internetwhy @musikasworld @Sammy-is-obsessed

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing!!!

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!!!

[panic-angel3314]

Once, Twice, Three Times Blessed- The Shield x Reader- Part Two/?

Parings: Alpha!Roman x Alpha!Dean x Eventual Alpha!Seth x Eventual Omega!Luna(OC)

A/N: So the idea that sparked this was literally me wanting to cuddle the fuck out of each of these men and just I am greedy and fuck and just want all of them to my self lol, my wrestling babes no I would definitely share :p As always thank you to my eternal inspirations these babes are my literal driving force: @theworldiscolorful , @therealfivefeetoffuckingfury , @noscetiipsum  , @monsteramongmen-tamer , @empress-with-the-crown  and many more I love you all so very much <3

A/N 2: Okay so, I know I’ve been teasing this forever and I swear I haven’t given up on it. I just like to write and edit in layers because I feel like it adds more detail and idk maybe it’s still shitty writing anyway. I really hope this was worth the wait for that who asked and continued to encourage me to continue with the Series. I’d like to note that the Moon Goddess(Selene)will be played by Kate Beckinsale from the Underworld series because she’s bae and hot as hell. And then I have chosen Jason Momoa to play Erebus her first Alpha mate. Which will make sense in later chapters. I really wanted this chapter to have more smut but that’s the part I’m stuck on at the moment and I thought the ending of this part was a good place to stop.

Warnings: m/m, m/f, ABO Dynamics and all including Knotting, NSFW, 18+ Only please, Smut, Unprotected Sex (No glove no love y'all c'mon), Fluff, Maybe Angst? But not much, Cursing and I’ll add later when the grittier parts come up.

Summary: Luna has been told all her life how special she was. Her crazy prophecy spewing grandmother mother even said the Moon Goddess would bless her with not one but three true mates. What happens when she finds those mates but they’re already in a pack together? Will they let her in? Will she join the pack? And what interest does a certain Bayou pack lurking around the shadows take on her? Will love prevail or will evil intention of another pack come to fruition? Find out in this story about love, prophecies and the rising of one pack above another….

Word Count: 9k+, Sorry guys I don’t know what a short chapter is :P

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Tagging All My Beautiful Babes: @theworldiscolorful | @therealfivefeetoffuckingfury | @monsteramongmen-tamer | @inxcogitationibus| @panda-girl1999 | @empress-with-the-crown | @meremaidqueen | @glowrioustrash | @eshia16 | @just-one-string-in-a-silent-sea | @loki-kaz2y5 | @wwedeanambrose | @crossfit-princess-sethie-boo | @foreverwwefan | @unforgottenheros | @lunatic-svillain | @viperslunatic |  @silver-pool-of-light  | @sillyavengersonfashion | @onemorefanblog | @balor-is-bae2  | @wrestling-fics | 

All tags are welcome, I’ll be posting soon so I can get an official taglist and I am truly sorry if I missed anyone.

Whimpering and answering growls had caused the Lunatic to wake up from his restful slumber. Thing was, the growls were not his own, in fact, it was the very familiar growls of his mate’s Seth. Peering up from sleep riddled eyes, Dean caught sight of his Little Omega and Alpha mate in quite the compromising position, which had his own Little Lunatic that was standing to attention, throbbing in his sweatpants with unbridled want. Dean watched in awe as his pup mate, Seth, held tight to their Little Omega by her curvy hips, his nose buried deep in her scent glands, as they both unconsciously rutted up against one another, creating a mixture of scents that had Dean’s mouthwatering.

...SWEET MATES...SMELL LIKE HOME... WANT...PROTECT MATES...LOVE MATES...

Dean’s inner wolf was howling with delight as the human side was so entranced by the scene before him. So hypnotized, that he didn’t even notice himself still tangled together with Luna until her pulsing heat brushed against his sensitive member that was still very much awake.

...MMMM WET, SO WET...SWEET LITTLE KITTEN...WANT MATE...CLAIM...OURS...

Dean continued to observe his mates as his Little Kitten subconsciously began to ground tantalizing circles with her ass against Seth’s not so ‘little architect’. Every backstroke was met with an equally torturous front stroke causing her hot wet heat to create a delicious friction on his own thigh, still very much entwined with hers, driving the Lunatic and his wolf insane.

.... LAVENDER AND RAIN...PINEWOODS AND WARM APPLE PIE...SOOTHE MATES...

.... CLAIM MATES...THEY NEED YOUR KNOT...

...Will you calm the fuck down not everyone wants ‘The Lunatic Special’ this early in the morning...

.... SWEET MATES...NEED ALPHA...CARE FOR MATES...

.... Jesus alright but our mates have other needs besides sex, just give me a fucking minute...

Scrubbing his hands through his messy curls and down beard splattered cheeks, again Dean was hit with the intense smell of his mates’ arousal, but that wasn’t all... was that bacon he smelt?

Only food could bring the Lunatic out of such a hot intense bubble of arousal his mates had created, leading to his next question.

Dean surveyed their suite, careful not to jostle his blissfully unaware mates, finding his Alpha nowhere in sight. Instead of panicking, Dean gently nudged Roman through their bond link so that he didn’t scare the beejeezus out of his Alpha this early in the morning. Dean felt the answering warmth Ro sent his way saying he’d be in the room in just a minute, with breakfast in tow.

“Try to wake up Babygirl and Baby boy. They need to eat before we have a serious talk about everything.”

Dean looked down at his mates and then his own hard-on, inwardly groaning before answering his Alpha,

“I’ll try Ro, but you should see them right now, fuck I just want to join them.”

“Join them?” Roman questioned, only this time out loud as he walked through the suite door coming upon the very arousing sight of all three of his mates in his bed, two of them very preoccupied with one another while other watched on in adoration. Notes of lavender, pinewood, and just hint of leather created an odd but pleasurable scent that was home for Roman and his wolf, causing him to stirring in want of his mates.

... MATES... CLAIM... HOME... PACK... OURS...

The pleased rumble that made its way from deep within his chest had Dean frozen in his spot, while Luna and Seth ceased their actions, soon joining the waking world.

Dean, completely ignoring his wanting cock, placed a quick but loving kiss to his Kitten’s flushed cheek, and gently untangled himself from her. Hopping up, he grabbed the breakfast tray from Roman, planting an equally chaste kiss to his Alpha’s plush lips. Roman, on the other hand, was still dazed by the sight before him. Though his two youngest mates were now awake, neither one of them seemed to want to move from their spot.

Luna’s wolf whimpered at the thought of separating from Seth... WANT MATE... SMELLS LIKE HOME... WANT TO BE CLAIMED...

... Down girl, first, you need to talk about stuff before you just hump someone in their sleep...

...NOT JUST SOMEONE... MATE! OUR MATE!.....

.... You need to calm down girl. I can’t think when you’re all riled up...

“M’ sorry Princess. Didn’t mean to come on so strong. But being near you just really has my wolf excited, me too if it wasn’t obvious.” Seth spoke through his growly morning voice. Luna blushed furiously at his little innuendo, too embarrassed to move and Seth too needy to let his omega go just yet kept the mates in place.

Sniffing the air, Roman could instantly tell each mate was on the cusp of a full-blown heat/rut wave, the sweet and heady smell had the animal inside chomping at the bit to be set free. As much as he’d love to sate each one of his mates’ needs in every way, the human part of his brain won out. Quickly the Big Dog strode towards the ensuite bathroom to grab some temporary suppressants for his two mates.

...WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!.... CLAIM MATES! THEY NEED ALPHA......THEY NEED TO BE SATED... DOMINATED... KNOTTED...

.... That’s not how this works Big Dog... we are more than just our animal and you need to calm down and let me take the reins, I don’t want to scare our Babygirl...

...FINE BUT I WON’T BE PATIENT MUCH LONGER... ALPHA WANTS TO CLAIM HIS OMEGA...

Roman made a promise to himself that they would talk about the soulmate/mate ship bond before anything would proceed further. While the animals within them all knew just who they belonged too and what they wanted, the human side needed to make the conscious decision for itself. Roman never wanted any of his mates to be a slave to the animal side, himself included, and he’d be damned before he’d force anyone to bond with him unwillingly. However, in the very deepest recesses of Roman’s mind, he feared that once her heat wore off, Luna would want nothing to do with the Shield boys.

Shaking off his negative thoughts, Roman walked back into the room presenting both Luna and Seth their perspective medication.

Already each of them was sat up and while Seth was cuddled into Dean side eating the breakfast that was being fed to him; Luna was on the other side of the bed cuddled back into Roman’s jacket with a very shy and embarrassed look on her face.

.... BEAUTIFUL MATE ...SCARED... GO TO MATE... SCENT HER... MAKE HER FEEL LIKE PACK...

It broke Roman’s heart to see her like that, so unsure of her place. That being said, carefully he gave Seth his meds quickly kissing his over-eager pup mate, receiving a happy rumble from him. Roman then walked toward his Babygirl, gently placing her on his lap ignoring her weak protests and scenting her until his wolf was satisfied she smelt like safe and home.

“Easy Ro, she’s still really embarrassed about nearly humping Seth and me to completion in her sleep.” Dean quickly told his Alpha through their bond link.

All Dean received was an answering wink before Ro gently placed his hand underneath Luna’s chin, causing her to shiver in pleasure at the way his touch was cooling the heat within her body. His scent alone had her insides melting.

... RICH CHOCOLATE AND EARTHY...

“Here Babygirl, take this, it’ll help sate the heat for a bit. I really want to talk to you about everything before we go any further.”

... OUR ALPHA... CARES FOR US... SUBMIT TO ALPHA...

The only answer he received, though, was a timid nod and a soft thank you as she washed down the pill with the orange juice that was given to her.

“Babygirl, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I think we can all agree that heat and ruts can make us do some really weird things, especially when our mates are also cycling with us.”

“Yeah Kitten you should’ve seen The Big Dog and me last month, I’m pretty sure the tech guy who walked in on us was scarred for life. Plus, you’ll never hear me complain about being woken up to such a beautiful sight like this morning.” Dean chuckled gruffly, trying to ease his Kitten’s wariness. It made his heart skip a beat when he caught the little giggle slipping from her supple lips, lips he couldn’t wait to taste, bite, lick and explore.

... SWEET LITTLE KITTEN... HAPPY KITTEN... WANT MY LITTLE KITTEN...

Seth could smell the change in Dean’s chemosignals, the lust and arousal pouring out of his mate had Seth dropping the bacon in hands and with more force than intended, smashing his lips to Dean’s in a desperate kiss that was literally all tongue and teeth.

...MUSK, LEATHER, AND WHISKEY ...

NEED... LUST... WANT MY LUNATIC...

Luna watched the scene unfold and couldn’t help squirming in her Alpha’s hold, burying her face into his scent glands, and whimpering with the new wave of arousal permitting the air. Though the overwhelming need of knot was placated, the overall want was still at the forefront of both Luna and Seth’s mind.

...MATES NEED THIER ALPHA...SATE OUR SWEET MATES... MATE THEM... LOVE THEM...

... Easy Big Dog, talk first, mate later...

... WON’T BE PATIENT FOR MUCH LONGER... WANT OUR MATES...

Releasing a very powerful rumble, Roman caught the attention of all three mates. Unfortunately, the three pairs of lust glazed eyes staring back did not help the situation in his nether regions. Lucky for them, Roman took his job as Pack Alpha very seriously and while he wanted nothing more than to dominate and claim all three of his mates, sating all their needs. Ro knew better than to succumb to his primal desires. Particularly with something so important on the line: the matter being whether or not Luna will fully accept the mateship of all three Alphas.

“Baby boy you need to calm down over there. We can’t be getting everyone excited. We still have some very important things to discuss.” He reprimanded while stroking his little omega’s hair, attempting to calm her a bit. The Alpha tone Roman used, though, did not help the continual wetness seeping into Luna’s black lace panties causing her to squirm uncomfortably.

Turing his attention back to the little omega in his arms, Roman gently removed her head from its place in the crook of his neck so that they were now eye to eye.

“Listen Babygirl, I know this is a lot to take in. Primarily having three Alpha mates to consider. But, we can all say with certainty we want you as our omega. And we’d be honored to help you through your heat cycle if you so choose to accept our courtship.”

The moment the words left Roman’s mouth each mate waited with bated breath. Luna, on the other hand, bore into the Alpha’s soft grey eyes finding nothing but sincerity and truth in them. She thought she’d be more nervous about this moment but in a way, she had been groomed by her grandmother for this for most of her life. And already each Shield member had cemented their special place in her heart, thus making the decision a no-brainer.

Even though her career had become her main focus as of late, all she ever dreamt about was finding her three mates that were promised to her. It wasn’t their fault over the years she had begun to lose hope.

...YES!!... WE WANT MATES... ALL MATES... FOUND HOME... FOUND OUR ALPHAS...

After quickly weighing all her options Luna finally spoke up, “I’ve been waiting for you, all of you for so many moons I was beginning to think I’d never find Y'all, but now that I finally have…. I- I don’t think there is a chance in hell I could let any of you slip away. Last night … just felt right, being surrounded by all of you, I-I finally felt like I belonged. Like I found my…. home.”

Home, something each of the Shield men had been searching for, for most of their lives not knowing it wasn’t just anyone place or even person for that matter. But now that they’ve found their little moon, they can honestly say they’ve found their true home.

...OMEGA ACCEPTS...LOVE...PROTECT...

CLAIM...

Both Seth and Dean’s wolves were over the moon with excitement. Scrambling from their spots on the bed, after carefully setting breakfast aside, Seth and Dean both pounced on their Alpha and Omega. Kisses were placed all over each of the couple’s faces, spilling little ‘thank yous’ between each one. The hearty laughs and harmonious giggles had each Shield mates’ heart soaring in a happiness none of them could comprehend.

Had they done it? Had they finally found their missing piece? And would they be able to cement that piece before an unknown entity could strip it away from them, possibly forever?

All these questions lie in the deepest of places in each Alpha’s mind, especially with the Wyatt threat lurking. But now was not the time for that, now was a time for celebration and consummation of the bond between all members of the Shield pack.

“Alright, Alright, easy you two. We only have a small window before Seth and Babygirl go into full-blown heat again and I’d like for us all to eat a little something before the ‘festivities’ begin.”

Oh Roman, ever the caring Alpha, funny enough it was Luna’s stomach growling that answered the Alpha’s statement.

Looking towards his Babygirl, Roman couldn’t stop the dazzling smile that adorned his face, never before had he felt so full of love and happiness. Who knew this whole time all they were missing was her, their little moon goddess?

“I think it’s time we got you something to eat. Sound good Babygirl? I made you your favorite.” Luna looked to her Alpha, curious as to what he had cooked and how he knew what her favorite was. Gliding his thumb across her soft cheek as he held her sweet face in his hands, Roman answered her unasked question, “A little birdie told me of your weakness for waffles and crispy bacon.”

Squealing in delight, Luna thanked her Alpha with a kiss on his cheek and then proceeded to make grabby hands towards her Lunatic, indicating she wanted the breakfast he had set on the bedside table.

Chuckling at her childlike actions, Dean quickly grabbed the set-aside breakfast. But, before he presented it to her, Roman carefully adjusted both himself and Luna. Resting his back against the headboard in the middle of the giant bed, Roman moved Luna so that she was sitting in between his outstretched legs, her back resting comfortably against his strong broad chest. Luna began wiggling in delight at the warmth and comfort her Alpha provided as well as the prospect of waffles and bacon, her absolute favorite. Enamored by all the little interactions between his two mates and the cute little mannerisms of his Kitten, Dean began to sport his own dimply smile across his rugged face.

After setting the breakfast tray in the middle of his mates, Dean sat by Roman’s left side while Seth flanked his right.

Ro watched as all three mates happily dug into the breakfast he had provided. The Alpha in him swelling with pride at providing for the pack. Happy purrs could be heard between bites as each mate ate more than their fair share.

Luna, noticing their Alpha not partaking in the food provided, leaned back against his tattooed shoulder, presenting him with a very hearty slice of bacon.

Roman would have been quick to refuse if it wasn’t for those bright grey-blue puppy dog eyes staring back at him, causing his heart to ache in need to please his Omega. So, playfully Roman leaned towards his Omega’s outstretched hand, his own hands still firmly placed on her curvy hips as his thumbs were rubbing calming circles on each love handle. He ate from her hand growling every now and then when she’d pull the food away from his open mouth. Shrieking and laughing as he’d jokingly snap at her fingers, licking them like a dog when she’d get close enough, then leaving little kisses anywhere he could reach.

Finally, he had finished the piece of bacon and she was on to feeding him parts of her waffles. Shaking his head though Roman refused the offered food, “Nuh-uh Babygirl, I want you to eat first then I will.” Even now Roman couldn’t quell his Alpha instincts of feeding his Omega first until she was full and satisfied, then he would partake in breakfast.

Luna wasn’t having it though, so she moved to slightly dirtier tactics. Nuzzling her face into Roman’s scent glands, Luna murmured against the sensitive skin, “Please Alpha, want you to eat too.” She pouted against his skin.

Groaning, Roman’s eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head from the feeling of her soft warm lips dancing across the crook of his neck. Right before he was about to protest once more, Luna began purring hoping to entice her Alpha further.

Roman couldn’t believe how this tiny Omega already had him so wrapped around her finger, reducing him to putty in her hands. He could just see the future mischief this would bring but it only endeared her more to his heart.

Seth and Dean both exchanged knowing looks as they watched the pair in their bout of wills. Turns out their little moon could be just as stubborn as the rest of them.

“Ok, ok. You win this time Babygirl but only because I want you to finish eating before your heat kicks back up.”

Nodding quite happily, Luna turned her body sideways so she could watch as her Alpha got his fill. Every now and then Roman would hold up a bit of waffle for her, to which she gladly ate. This went on until all the plates were clean and each Shield mate was well fed, happy, and full.

After each mate was well and done, Dean stood up to remove the left-over kitchenware, causing Luna to look up from her spot in Roman’s comfortable hold. Looking up into her Lunatic’s electric blue eyes, Luna whimpered low in her throat, asking without speaking just where he thought he was going.

SWEET KITTEN...LICKS AND CUDDLES...

“Easy Kitten just clearing off the bed. I’ll be right back.” Leaning over Dean reached for his Kitten’s chin, placing a loving kiss on her pouty pink lips. It was the first kiss they would share that wasn’t a chaste kiss on the cheek or temple. The kiss was a prelude to the loving relationships she would now create with each Shield member. Dean let out his own pleased rumble as he backed away and saw his Kitten turn to literal mush, giggling and blushing like mad.

...SUCH A SHY BEAUTIFUL KITTEN...MINE...

“Don’t be shy Kitten, there is a lot more where that came from.” And with a wink, he was off to quickly put away the trash and dishes.

Luna couldn’t help but burrow herself back into Roman’s embrace, nuzzling herself into the warm crook of his neck. A spot that would soon become her favorite place to be, feeling utterly at peace snuggled into her Alpha.

Reaching from his spot next to Roman, a jealous Seth spoke up,

“Hey, what about me, Princess? Don’t I get a kiss too.” Playfully pouting towards his little moon, big brown puppy eyes and all. Luna was convinced her mates’ sole purpose in life was to reduce her to nothing more than a blushing mess. Seth’s warm whiskey eyes and the love shining through them was enough to cause her heart to beat right out of her chest. Gone was the take no shit Omega, gone was the strong and brave Warrior Selene, here and now was Luna the sweet, caring, and playful little Omega surrounded by the strength and protectiveness of her pack. Something she didn’t take lightly. All the walls she had built came down to pieces in seconds while surrounded by her mates. Realizing this, each Shield mates’ heart grew that much more for the sweet Omega in their arms.

Looking up to her pup mate Luna shook her head yes still too shy to use her words at the moment.

AWW SWEET LITTLE PRINCESS ...KISS HER!...

If she wasn’t a pile of mush already Seth’s answering smirk would’ve surely done her in. Leaning in the pair shared a slow sensual kiss, lips dancing in a sensual but natural rhythm. The kiss had both primal and human sides reveling in the intimacy. As Roman watched the exchange between his sweet mates, he couldn’t help but want to join in.

...SUCH BEAUTIFUL MATES ...WANT TO CLAIM...

As they broke the kiss Roman decided to voice the inner rambling spurred on by his wolf,

“What about Alpha, Baby boy?”

Seth groaned low in his throat at, not only the sight of Luna’s blissful state but also the want and dominance of Roman’s voice. Without a second thought, Seth leaned over Luna, who was still very much sandwiched between the two Alphas, to share a very needy and intense kiss. Grabbing Seth by the scruff of his neck, Ro let him know just who was running the show. The charge in their scent and the heat in her belly, made Luna begin to squirm once more. Not wanting to be left out, Luna began to nip at the exposed skin of Seth’s neck, honing in on his scents glands, the very same scent glands that would one day bear her mark. Seth began to growl at the sensation overload, never wanting it to end, it was the sweetest of tortures. Luna, on the other hand, was surrounded by scents of warm apple pie and freshly baked brownies. The scents of her mates nearly sent her into a frenzy and the warmth created between their bodies only added to her euphoria.

Walking back in Dean was greeted to the erotic sight of all his mates entangled together, causing him to groan at the intense arousal permeating the air, “Please tell me you aren’t starting without me” He rasped before diving into the bed, smack dab in the middle of all three mates breaking apart the hottest of kisses yet.

“Not even, Lunatic, your kiss is what started this. You got Baby boy all fired up. I also think we’re in for a long morning.” Roman stated ruefully, earning a few quiet giggles from the omega in his lap. Giggles that vibrated against the sensitive skin of his neck, where her new home had become.

The Lunatic couldn’t take it anymore, he had been dying to hold his little moon since the moment he woke up and now seemed as good a time as any. Eagerly Dean reached over scooping the little omega out of his Alpha’s lap to plop her down into his. Earning a shocked but soft yelp from Luna. What happened next though shocked all four mates.

...MY MATE ...CHALLENGE ...PROTECT OMEGA...

Spilling from Roman’s mouth was a snarled growl that could’ve brought any opposing Alpha to their knees, his eyes flashing a crimson red. Frozen in his spot was Dean not wanting to anger his Alpha but still very much confused as to why it happened.

...UPSET MATE ...CALM ALPHA...

Speaking up was Luna, but weirdly enough her eyes began to take on a bright white hue as her voice came out as a low enchanting rasp, “Alpha? Are you okay?” As she reached out to touch him, broken was the trance that befell Roman and gone was the charged kinetic energy in the air. Returned was the Ro they all knew and loved.

Blinking away his own red eyes and clearing his throat, Roman looked to his three startled mates ashamed.

...SCARED MATES ...SO SORRY....

“Yeah, Babygirl. Dean.” He nearly sobbed saying his name, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Uh-hem. Watch our two mates while I go grab something from the kitchen. Ok?” Luna whined as she could feel the hurt in her mate’s heart and not wanting him to deal with it alone, she reached out towards him much like a toddler would a parent. Seeing her reaction had his stomach in knots. He didn’t want to leave her but he did need a minute to figure out what the hell just happened. Never before had his wolf, or himself for that matter, acted like that towards his mates least of all Dean. Dean was his first love, first true mate he’d claimed. Roman trusted Dean above anyone else and it truly hurt his heart to see the look of fear on his face, on all their faces.

“It’s ok Babygirl. Alpha just needs a minute. I’ll be right back I promise.” Sealing his promise with a chaste kiss on her cheek, the Alpha was gone to sort out his swirling thoughts.

Watching Roman leave the room caused both herself and her wolf to whine and whimper.

...SAD MATE... GO TO ALPHA... LOVE HIM...

Dean paused and looked down at his little Kitten, where she sat in his lap, her gaze still very much on the threshold their Alpha had left through. Had he just heard the thoughts of her wolf?

None of the bond links created between the pack had ever formed until after they had been bitten, marked, or claimed as a true mate. But something was different about his little Kitten and he knew it from the moment they met, she was something special.

Turning her in his arms and carefully laying her down between himself and Seth, he took her delicate little face in his war-torn hands.

“It’s ok Kitten, Alpha just needs a minute. He’ll be right back I promise.”

Dean sealed his promise with a sweet lingering kiss, trying to melt away all the sadness and worries his little mate had. Her wolf could smell the scent of leather and whiskey pouring out of her Lunatic and it had her momentarily purring in delight from the comfort it provided.

...MMM... LEATHER AND WHISKEY... SWEET MATE ...

Again, though the thoughts were not only heard but felt by the Lunatic and it nearly had him stuttering in the kiss.

Reaching out too to soothe his little mate was Seth, running his big warm calloused hands up and down the length of her curvy body trying to relax her as she laid in their Lunatic’s embrace.

...ALPHA IS STILL SAD ...FIX IT... GO TO MATE!...

Dean paused their kiss to look deep into his Kitten’s eyes. Staring back at him were eyes filled with lust and want but in his heart, Dean knew Luna wanted him to check on their Alpha.

...GO CHECK ON ALPHA ...WE NEED TO COMFORT ALPHA...

Kissing his little Kitten one last time Dean was up and off the bed leaving a confused looking Omega in his wake, Seth too rut brained to notice.

“Dean, wait come back?” Came her soft voice as she reached out to him. Turning back to embrace his little mate, Dean extended his hand to gently stroke her face, soothing any worry that might still be lingering.

“What is it, Kitten?”

“Where are you going?”

“To check on Alpha, Babydoll.”

Her eyes lit up hearing his response causing him to flash her a dimply grin.

“It’s okay Kitten. I’ll be right back. Take care of Sethie while I’m gone. But don’t start the main event without us ok?”

Luna blushed at his innuendo, giggling at her silly Lunatic.

... AWW SWEET MATE ... SHY LITTLE KITTEN...

“Dean!” She whined, hiding her face in her pillow.

“Aw, I’m sorry Babydoll. But there is nothing to be ashamed of. Come on.” He coaxed her face out of the pillow, caressing her cheek as he spoke, “Give your Lunatic a kiss to remember you by.” This man, she thought, cheeky as ever.

...SILLY MATE... KISS HIM...LOVE MATE...

Leaning up towards her Lunatic, Luna positioned herself within a breaths distance of his lips, waiting for him to close the gap. But just as Dean went in for the kill, Luna pulled away teasingly, giggling at his reaction. Playfully Dean growled at his Kitten before going in for a second attempt only to be teased further. But as Luna was too busy giggling at her Lunatic, he made his move. Slotting their lips together Dean didn’t pause in his assault, gently encasing her beautiful face in both his hands while his tongue wasted no time in invading her mouth.

... MMM... KITTEN TASTES SO SWEET... SMELLS LIKE HOME...WANT MORE...

Dean’s chest rumbled while little moans and whimpers were poured into the kiss. Dean didn’t let up until he had his fill causing his little Omega to become breathless. Finally, though, Dean let up looking up to see Seth so entranced by the display of love and want between his mates.

Winking towards his mate. “Watch her while I go get Ro but don’t think I don’t see you over there Baby boy. You know the rules, no starting without Alpha.” He commented noticing Seth’s naughty hands wondering the expanse of their precious mate.

Seth let out a whine in response burying his nose in Luna’s hair, causing her to turn in his hold to see what had caused her mate’s distress. Turning around she left sweet little kisses on Seth’s face every once in a while, stopping to nip at his pouty lower lip.

Watching Luna soothe their pup mate caused all kinds of feelings to be built up inside Dean. He knew this was a moment all the mates should be present in, bonding with one another to create a strong link, that apparently Dean already shared with his little moon. Without wasting any more time, he was off in search of a very handsome, very brooding Alpha.

Sniffing the air, Dean could smell the overwhelming regret and sadness on his Alpha mate. Roman’s overall earthy and fresh baked brownies scent was dulled to nothing more than lawn clippings and cheap chocolate, all rich notes dissipated with his mood. This heightened Dean’s awareness and began to make his wolf, even more, stir crazy.

... SAD MATE... FIX IT... LOVE MATE...NOW...

Dean walked up to his otherwise occupied mate, wrapping his strong arms around Roman’s thick but cut waste. Resting his head on Roman’s shoulder blades, Dean began to purr in an effort to melt away the sadness surrounding his Alpha, rubbing his hands up and down his chest as he went. After a minute, Roman caught Dean’s hands, kissing each set of knuckles lovingly, then gripping his hands firmly entwined with his and placing them right atop his heart.

.... MMMM CHOCOLATE ...MATE STILL SAD...

Moving his head so that his mouth grazed the shell of Roman’s ear, Dean finally spoke up in that deep gravelly tone his mate loved so much,

“Ro, you can’t beat yourself up about this. I’m fine, Seth is fine, Luna is fine.”

He punctuated each name with enthusiastic nips to Roman’s ear alternating between the shell and lobe.

“I know it’s... it’s just that’s never happened before. I mean you’re my first mate for goddess’s sake!” Roman released Dean’s hands and throwing his own up in the air in frustration.

Forcefully turning his big Samoan in the hold, he still kept him in, Dean reached up towards his mate’s crestfallen face and gently encased it in his calloused hands, imploring his mate to hear reason, “It’s different, Superman, she’s different. I know you can feel it, she’s special and it scares the crap out of you, hell it scares me too. But I know damn well she’s ours for a reason. The moon goddess doesn’t make mistakes, you know that better than anyone.”

Holding tight to Dean’s wrists on either side of his face Roman finally meets his mate’s gaze, seeing nothing more than adoration and love in it.

...LOVE ...LOYALTY... TRUST...SWEET MATE...

“Roman Reigns, I love you, and I will always love you, ya hear me. I know our road wasn’t easy. But I’m here and I will always be here. By your side, forever until the moon goddess calls me home.” Dean tells his mate with a conviction that burnt hotter than a thousand suns. Seeing this, Roman did something in that moment, something he had ever rarely done in their relationship and that was submitting to his younger Alpha mate. Baring his neck, his most vulnerable spot, Roman whined low in his throat asking his mate for forgiveness.

...SUBMIT TO MATE ...ASK FORGIVENESS ...

Dean was shocked but rather than hesitate, he acted on pure instinct. Nipping at Roman’s mate mark Dean had given him way back when he licked and sucked until he could feel the tension leaving his Alpha’s body and smell his scent return to the delicious mouthwatering scents of earth and freshly baked brownies. Roman quickly became mush in his mates hold and finally, he let himself be forgiven.

“There is nothing to forgive ok?” Dean gave one last kiss to his mate mark. “Now, get your ass in gear because there are two very needy mates in there who are waiting for their Alpha. And there is also a sweet little Omega in there who really wants to see her Alpha. She’s worried about you Ro.”

Roman was shocked, he was convinced he made an ass of himself and totally broke what little progress he had made with his Little Omega.

“Really? Even after that bullshit display of Alpha Brain?”

Dean just shrugged his shoulders but didn’t lose the look of intensity in his blue eyes as he said,

“I don’t know how to explain it, Ro. But it seems like she knows what we’re feeling even before we do. I don’t if it’s an Omega thing but I can tell she’s really affected by our emotions. She’s the one who sent me in here, little minx wouldn’t take no for an answer. All I’m saying is she’s going to be the death of us, Uce.” The Lunatic laughed ruefully thinking about all the future mischief his little mate’s influence will have on the trio of Alphas.

“I hear you, Mate. I really do I just need a minute longer. Go ahead and check on our little mates and I’ll be right there.”

Dean gave a look of uncertainty towards his Alpha but Roman didn’t let him feel that way for long. Grabbing Dean by the scruff of his neck Roman pulled him in an embrace so full of love and passion, it caused the Lunatic to become dizzy.

“Alright sheesh Ro. Any more heat and I would’ve been burned alive.” He chuckled looking at the face of his loving Alpha, just basking in his presence and thanking the Moon Goddess every day for blessing him with such caring mates.

“Sorry, Dean. I just, I Fucking love you and I don’t want you to worry about me. I’m the pack Alpha for Christ sakes.”

“So, what if you’re ‘Pack Alpha’, I worry about you just the same because it’s my job and I Fucking love you too.”

Dean roughly placed a kiss on his Alpha’s mouth, cheekily slipping in his tongue to join the party. Roman rumbled as the kiss created a warm tingling feeling, starting from the tips of his toes, traveling all throughout his body and settling a warmth within his core.

...HAPPY MATE...SATISFIED ...HAPPY ALPHA...

Dean’s wolf was finally satisfied enough to give him the few minutes he requested. So, with one last searing kiss, Dean left Ro to his own devices.

“Don’t take too long Alpha. You’ve got a very eager pup mate in rut, in bed with our heat-induced Omega.”

Roman’s answering rumble was enough for Dean to know Ro wouldn’t be too far behind him.

Taking a minute to slow down his breathing, Roman tried to calm all the swirling emotions that were running rapidly through his mind. Roman knew his little moon was special but he was terrified, terrified he wasn’t strong enough to care for someone so special. He was the pack alpha and his mates were his number one priority. That priority being to provide for the pack and make them happy. It’s what he lived for. Unfortunately, Roman felt a foreboding, especially with Wyatt’s lurking. The darkness that encompassed them was palpable and he’d be damned if he’d let them get near his Luna.

Then there was Luna. Finally, after searching for her for years, he’s finally found their pack Omega. Luna was literally a goddess come to earth and he couldn’t believe that Selene, the Moon Goddess, blessed him with such a special mate. What if he wasn’t enough? What if he wasn’t Alpha enough to care for three mates, her in particular? What if the heat wore off and she realized he and his mates were not what she wanted?

SHE IS OUR MATE ...OF COURSE, SHE WANTS US...

...Listen, big guy, there is more than just instinct. The moon goddess blessed all her children with free will, regardless of true mate status...

...THIS IS NOT THE CASE ...SHE WANTS US... I FEEL IT... YOU FEEL IT ...CLAIM MATE... BOND TO MATE ...PROTECT MATE...

...Not yet Big Dog. I will when we go into rut. But for now, I just want to focus on her and Seth. They need us right now...

...THEN GO TO MATES... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR...?

...Goddess please give me the strength to be the best Alpha I can. All I want to do is do right by the mates you have blessed me with. Please watch over my pack and protect them with your love and light...

“Tell me again why she is so important.”

Selene began to become exasperated with her love and his nonexistent memory span. But the minute he wrapped her up in his strong arms, solid chest to her delicate back, she became putty to his will, especially with him mouthing at her mate mark.

“Because my love, there is a darkness that grows threatening the lives of our children, her especially. I blessed her with my own essence so that she can be the beacon of light in a world I can no longer walk. She is also blessed with three Alpha mates of her own to protect her, just like you all protect me.”

Tensing in his stance her mate asked the question he feared most.

“This darkness, My Moon, is it the same darkness that once threatened your life? The same darkness I fought off, swearing to never see its return.”

Turning in her lover's arms the Moon Goddess placed a gentle hand on his rugged cheek looking deep into his rich hazel eyes.

“I’m afraid so my Love and now we live in a time so easily influenced by those that would look to harm them. But she is different. She will lead them, my little warrior, my sweet little moon.”

Looking towards the lake water where the image of the Alpha in question played.

“And him? You say he will protect her like I have protected you?” Smiling ruefully at her worried mate she answered,

“He will my Love, he is just scared. He wants her to willingly choose him. He respects my law of free will and I cannot fault him for that.”

Erebus snarled at that answer, looking toward his son of the moon,

“You might not, but I can. He leaves her vulnerable! She still has not come into her powers and can be easily manipulated by those who lie in the shadows.”

Settling her apprehensive mate with a kiss Selene spoke once again.

“Have faith my Love, everything will reveal itself in due time.”

She spoke as her hand ran through the water clearing the image of Roman praying for her guidance. Roman just needed to follow his heart and trust his little moon and all will reveal itself soon enough.

[hellobouquets]

Witch thoughts while high. We’ll call it DRAFT 1: Dreams and Goals should be 50/50

Upon reflection, I think it’s important to have an equal amount of dreams and goals. I mean, for a healthy, balanced life. For witches and everybody. Dreams, which (and this is the main point of what I’m getting at here) can be thought of as artistic expression through mediums like images, poetry, abstract thought, and feelings (which I assume is like... pink oras and your heart chackra? idk need further research for that). If you’re practicing witchcraft/wicca or Magicks of any sort, it’s sort of what you see your true self as being. When you can peak through the clouds of aniexty, depression, and other things that get in the way and see The Real You, you’ll know it because you’ll like what you see there. Maybe there’s a big, huge, scary gap in who you are now, and who you are supposed to be (it is for me, maybe that’s true for everyone, maybe not), and this is what I’ll touch on next with the GOALS part. Dreams are a pure and true desire in your heart, a playfulness, an ease, a visual and colorful part (other aesthetic witches out there?). Dreams are The Universe’s indication that we are, each of us, divine. Dreams are fantasy, but not in the negative way. It is the right side of the brain (I know the whole “left and right” brain thing is more complicated than that expression, this is a draft) working with creativity, day dreams, lucid dreams, even stuff like Astral Projection . When it comes to Astral Projection I’m just putting out there that I haven’t been there myself. In fact, I score about a 7 on the able-to-picture-something-vividly in my own mind scale 1-10. Goals are expressed through Colors, art, music, INTUITION (!!) and childlike wonder, which is a lot of what makes Witchcraft such a sensory-stimulating and playful/flexible/adaptable form of religious/spiritual practice, IMO. Dreams are why I have this blog. It’s visually stimulating for Dreaming. I pretty much only reblog things I want to bring into my life, which is why a lot of what you’ll see is tan, blonde with my coloring, fit-looking women, often in business-like settings. Or an aesthetic imagery that just really resonates with that unconscious self (or an “ancient self” as I sometimes like to say and yeah... my ancient self likes glitter and is gay). 

And here’s where the other half comes in... the counterpart to Dreams are *drumroll*...Goals! Goals are dreams in action, the left side of the brain. Daily actions that you take to instill momentum towards your greatest self! It’s for that feeling when you’re been working on something really hard and it finally pays off. It’s for doing the right steps (even if the path was unexpectedly curvy or jagged) and proving that you are a Spiritual Person who can really do anything they set their mind to. It’s the moving power behind closing that gap between the you that you are now and that Divine Self, the higher frequency. The secret is (and it’s not really a secret)... you’re actually that Divine Self all the time.  Which means you can mobilize, do Goal work, at any time! Goals also have a cost, an essential part of their functionality, they are transactional (costing time, pain of forgoing an unhealthy habit or meal, comfort from not pressing the snooze button, having an uncomfortable conversation, working harder at the gym, studying until you get it, coming in early and staying late, following through on your commitments even when you don’t feel like it, ect.) Goals have a finish line. Goals require a little bit of discomfort in the same way Mexican food needs heat. ((Discipline is not punishment - important distinction. It can be thought of as just forgoing immediate pleasure for long-term self-respect.)) Goals often look like studious activities (things that come to mind: the educational grind, money handling, scheduling, record keeping, appointment making, other “adulting” activities). Or it can look like going to do something a little unpleasant (even though it’s never quite as unpleasant as you make it out to be in your mind, stressing accomplishes nothing) for the sake of working in line with your GOALS. I read in one of my Wicca books (author: StarHawk? I’m not sure that might have actually been a case study I read about modern witches... can’t remember)  that one core value of Wicca is that practitioners should be always working on being reliable and taking on responsibility for the good of the group. It’s tried and true: set goals, GET TO WORK, (and this is the most important part) >>> stick to it<<< and reach Goal.  The goal is the left side of the brain, meaning it deals with logic, MATH, (I know I have anxiety about it to, but like, the whole universe is math and you’re not actually that bad at it. Math is your friend), speaking, reading, reasoning, and sequential thinking. Goals should be married to Dreams for a balanced you, is what I’m getting at. All things in balance, basically.

 ((Info dump about for JustWiccaThings: Other cool things I learned about Wicca that really resonated with me, just from the top of my memory -  (1) very passionate about religious freedom of practice, choice, access and knowledge, especially for their offspring, (2) Sacredness of the Natural World, (3) passion for literature and local art, (4) community-minded and  often bought, supported, or founded many businesses and community organizations, (5) Male and Female energies in harmonious union and a playful group understanding of each (fluidity and flexibility and swapping but an essential core of the balance of energizing powers). )))

P.S. The cool thing is that Meditation is where dreams and goals interact with Magicks. It is the playground where worlds meet because there is a sort of sustained inner listening (stillness). It is where Dreams and Goals work on unison is a subconscious way, easing a lot of anxieties because now you can be steadfast with the knowledge that my darling The Moon is backing you up Another way to put this: Meditation, calls positivity, abundance, peace and divinity into your life without you even trying. In fact, not trying is the whole point of mediation. I could put a link to the million and one scientific studies that prove that meditation is an essential element to health, long-term prosperity, inner peace, reduced risk of heart attack or stroke, lowered rates of anxiety and depression, and so on. But I think we can come to an agreement that generally Meditation is another Tried and True way to connect with your true self/the Divine. Another cool side effect is that Meditation makes you stand a little straighter. Even this physical change in your body is part of what makes Meditation the glue that binds your Dreams and Goals together (in an equal amount for a more balanced you!) When you stand straighter it helps that “fuck yeah”/I-Can-Do-Anything vibe last all day. 

So.... yeah. Always dream big but make sure your goals are just as big. Also, meditating helps.

TLDR: Dreams can inspire you, but goals will change your life. Being a Witch means you should work towards balancing Dreams (playfulness, images, poetry, abstract) and Goals (grit, responsibility, action) and being a reliable person. Also, please start or continue to meditate because that definitely helps.

[adhd-ahamilton]

also ahhhhhhh this subject again but just man I feel like I must have such different experiences with LGBT+ terms than other queer historians?

I didn’t grow up thinking ‘I’m different to everyone else, maybe I’m one of those people, oh god’. I grew up thinking ‘...wait, aren’t I just doing the normal thing? Doesn’t everyone do this? ...what do you mean nobody does??? And, wait, you’re telling me everyone actually does that thing????’

When I was a teenager, almost everyone I encountered IRL would say that gay people existed, but bi people didn’t - they were just looking for attention, or super promiscuous, or trying to deny they were gay. Even most major gay celebrities were the same. my first big experience with the queer community was fandom spaces where the existence of bisexuality was a major discussion point, and diving into that argument space was my first real taste of any kind of activism. (Even if it took me a couple years to realise why I felt so strongly about it.) But even now, occasionally, I forget how bisexuality works? Like my brain will just forget to make a concession for it, and then my conscious mind will be like ‘wait... forgot something here’, or I’ll even just stop...understanding it? Like for a minute or so I’ll be just like ‘wait is that even a real thing actually? suddenly it just sounds really not real?’

And that’s the easy part. Nowadays, hardly anybody who is taken seriously denies that bisexuality exists. Asexuality, though? Totally different story - literally on this website, in queer spaces, I keep randomly coming across people claiming that sexuals are just cringy straight people wanting something, or gay people with internalised homophobia, or all mentally ill. And aromanticism? Even if it’s brought up, unless it’s by an actual aro person, it’s almost always just treated as an unimportant optional subset of asexuality.

For me, believing in these things isn’t just... a matter of unconscious modern common sense that I don’t even question. I had to learn about it all, educating myself on the topic (and then educating some people I know IRL too, because they sure as hell didn’t know), and continually reminding myself of the influence of heteronormativity and how it erases all non-straight identities, not just gay/lesbian identities. It’s been hard, because a lot of the time I didn’t want to believe it, and at other times I found myself wondering whether this was all in my head and I was just less than human. But that’s what makes the words themselves important and powerful to me. Saying ‘asexual’ is saying to the world ‘this is just as valid, important, and real a way to exist as any other identity’ - as ‘heterosexual’. It dignifies it by placing it on equal standing, and its usage reminds you that it’s not just a matter of celibacy or whatever - it’s a different way of being that needs to be analysed on its own, not ignored.

And that’s not even the end of it. I mean, take ‘’’mogai culture’’’ (the term used by gay people who wanna be homophobic and transphobic but pretend they’re being progressive about it). Plenty of people have commented on how hugely many ace and aro identites there are going around on tumblr. But that’s because, when you live your life having no idea what you are and then come across a word that makes you go ‘aha - it all makes sense now!’ it makes total sense to see the power of those words and want to help others achieve that, or just want to contribute to the culture in general with more words. (Especially since aspecs have been erased from queer culture for decades and now have little culture of our own so we’re trying to catch up fast.)

And I’m not saying that this makes me more objective. But I don’t think it makes me any more subjective either - there are other LGBT+ people out there (especially gay men I’d wager, but it seems to be common among lesbians as well) who have been so exhausted with being constantly identified as Gay that they just want to get away from that and be a person. It’s all just a different point of view. I mean, one time I looked up a book (I think it was actually ‘the Invention of Heterosexuality’ actually) and one review was of a woman saying ‘I can certainly understand - I’m so used to being defined as a lesbian but I really just want to get on with my life.’ But I just...felt so jealous!!! To have your preferences and identity constantly validated like that, to be treated as real and normal and as having a community and as able to trust your own judgement and identify yourself... I want that so, so much!! But as I said - that’s no more valid than her feelings.

So... yeah. There’s just a fundamental breakdown in communication here. Because whenever people talk about how if you used these words with these historical people, they wouldn’t understand? All I can think of is my ‘aha!’ moments. To be honest... I genuinely can’t imagine telling someone like, say, John Laurens about the word ‘gay’ and them responding in any way other than... ‘that’s a thing you can actually be? that people are? that MANY people are? and it’s not a bad thing - it’s okay? that’s... amazing!!’ Which I knooooow is just my modern ideas and all but just... it’s a possibility???

idk anyway using ‘’modern sexuality words’’ (i.e. sexuality words favoured and in many cases created by the people who use them, rather than applied medically/legally or used as insults or w/e) is really really important for me towards actually acknowledging the existence of non-straightness, and the idea of not using them just inherently feels like succombing to subconscious heteronormativity. Using them feels like ‘hey we are the actual people described by these words and here is how we define our lives and selves, just as real as straightness, and we’re gonna state them outright so there’s no confusion and you can’t forget it’. It acknowledges the work that self-identifying queer people have done to come together and discuss their experiences and define themselves and promote that definition, challenging not only others’ heterosexim but their own at every step.

(Plus as I’ve said before, I don’t see why we should be limited to straight, gay, bi, lesbian, asexual, aro etc. either. Use alterous and queerplatonic and abrosexual and whatever else, or make up new words for things that wouldn’t make sense today. I’d much much MUCH rather people at least use the words rather than just... not, out of some weird idea that’ll involve less unconscious hetero bias.)

[illfoandillfie]

Hi, a tarot reading for a specific question please. This guy L and I have been fucking around a bit whenever we get drunk for the past two months, nothing serious. For me it’s just for the fun of it, I hope it’s the same for him. But he’s kind of in a rough spot right now. He’s the type to try and distract himself from his problems tho. I don’t know if I should start anything the next time I see him (tho idk when that’ll be bc of our exams)? I'm also not sure about his feelings. Thanks!

thank you for that clarification! hopefully this helps clear things up for you!

tarot: ace of wands, justice, king of cups, 4 of cups, ace of cups, the high priestess, 2 of pentacles.

So I focused on asking about L’s feelings regarding the casual hookups to try and gauge where he’s at with it all. If you have any follow up questions though feel free to ask and I’ll pull more cards (probably over the weekend lmao)

Anyway. The first card is the ace of wands. This symbolises desire, creation, willpower and inspiration. And it’s being clarified by the 4 of cups (contemplation, disappointment, overactive imagination) as well as the ace of cups (new feelings, attraction, new relationships). From these cards it looks like he might be thinking about something more serious than you are. With the ace of wands it definitely started off as just a fun sort of thing, just a desire to make out a little or whatever but with the other two cards it seems like that might not be enough for him anymore and he’s starting to develop feelings towards you. 

Our next cards are justice and the high priestess. Now, the justice card is about balance, clarity and truth. You said that L is in a rough spot right now and this card is making me feel like he’s trying to rebalance his life by forming an attachment with you. Like, things aren’t going well for him in one aspect of his life so he’s trying to create a positive shift in another area, if that makes sense. Generally this card in a romance reading would indicate an almost karmic return - a partner treating you as well as you treat them, if you cheat the truth will come out but if you put in effort you’ll be met with a supportive and caring partner. But in relation to L it feels like a very internal sort of a decision where he’s trying to tip the scales in his favour a little bit and has (consciously or subconsciously) come to the conclusion that what you’re doing is fun and good so taking it further can only be better. I think part of what makes it feel like that is that justice is being clarified by the high priestess. The high priestess is a card of secrets and mystery but also intuition and an inner voice. There’s some really interesting connections with these cards. truth and clarity vs mystery and an unrevealed future. But ultimately the high priestess is about knowledge and listening to that small intuitive voice in your head. If L’s inner voice is telling him you can provide a form of happiness that he’s not getting somewhere else and can rebalance his life, then he may be considering that option. 

Our final two cards are the king of cups and the two of pentacles. The king could represent L or it could be you. Because I was asking about L’s thoughts on your situation while I was drawing the cards I would be inclined to say it’s possibly how he views himself but, you may have a clearer idea of who the king is representing. So, the king of cups is compassionate but in control. He’s mature and wise (because he’s a king) as well as creative and a good friend. Interestingly there’s a connection to the high priestess as the king can also represent the unconscious, particularly connected to emotions. But, even more interestingly there’s a connection to justice here as well as the two of pentacles. Balance. All three of those cards (justice. king of cups. 2 of pents.) are related to balance in some for or other. 

Justice, being major arcana, is like the big picture stuff, it’s the balance of the universe. The king of cups is an internal balance between intellect and emotions. And the 2 of pentacles is a day to day sort of balance - balancing priorities or decisions and adapting to changes.  But balance is clearly a key part of L’s feelings towards you and about your hook up situation. I can’t say if it’s a choice he’s settled on or a vague notion in the back of his head or just a feeling he hasn’t even really noticed yet but there’s definitely a strong chance he’s projecting more feelings onto your encounters than you are and probably more than he should be.

I also pulled from my channelled messages oracle deck to try and get a sense of what his thoughts regarding you might be. Take these with as many grains of salt as you like. Anyway, here’s what the messages say:

I want to get you drunk. Listen. I nearly screamed when this one came out. Clearly, he enjoys being with you while you’re both drinking and fooling around and would like it to happen again. But under it we have this love scares me. Now in this deck, grey cards reflect confusion so this isn’t a clear thought he’s having, likely it’s not even really consciously “love”. He might know he’s attracted to you and that something in how he sees you has shifted but he’s not fully aware of exactly how or why and so it’s kind of unnerving him a little. Part of his interest in seeing you again under similar circumstances to the last however many times might be related to curiosity and wondering if something really has changed. 

Then we have I just wish things were different. To me this is about his general situation, the rough spot he’s in. There’s a desire for it to be different, better. And then under it is you make my heart full. Which seems to evoke a similar sort of vibe to that justice card where thoughts of you and the fun you have together are sort of an antidote to the shit he’s experiencing elsewhere. Mentioning his heart is also another indicator that the king of cups is his version of himself because the suit of cups is tied to the heart and emotions and having a handle on them. 

...Maybe... another card of confusion and followed by the bold and bright Love Me. This is another sort of thought that isn’t deliberate (yet). He’s only beginning to piece together the connection he’s seemed to have formed between things bad but you good and this is like his brain clicking over and joining the dots and arriving at... love me....maybe. It’s still not certain but the is the seed of an idea there. 

Then we have I just want you all the time and I want a fresh start with you, both in reverse. This is one of the few decks where I actually taking reversals into consideration because I think reversing a card can change the meaning of the words. And I think it definitely does with these. He doesn’t want you all the time, he enjoys being with you when you are together but this reversal shows that it’s not a desperate need to be with you, it’s not his main driving force whenever you see each other. He likes you, he has fun with you, but he hasn’t yet reached a point of wanting to pursue you. The fresh start one definitely has the energy of an ace (hence the giant 1 on the card lmao) and if that was the right way around I’d say it was an indicator of him wanting to ask you out and move your relationship to the next level. BUT. With it being reversed, I don’t feel like that’s the case. I think theres a possibility it could one day reach that point, especially if his rough spot doesn’t start to smooth over any time soon, but for now it’s a bit of a passing fancy, a little crush maybe. 

[countessgradula]

thoughts on weird habits that maaaaybe count as stimming below the cut?

I’m a subconscious chewer. basically for as long as I’ve been sentient, I’ve chewed pencils, erasers, rubber pencil grips, my nails, the seam inside shirt collars, basically anything I could get my hands on and forget about two seconds later.

I never really thought about my chewing habit too much because I don’t do it all the time - only when I’m at home/alone, and usually just when I’m thinking or anxious. (I chewed a hole in the collar of my only captain america t-shirt entirely without realizing it while watching the second 2016 “presidential” ““debate,”” so it’s definitely stress-related to some degree.) I’ve tried just having a piece of gum whenever I felt the urge come on, but it just didn’t have the right tactile consistency to ever keep my focus (and I usually end up swallowing it when I’m not paying attention as soon as the flavor goes away anyway).

I went back and forth on getting a chewy necklace forever, because I didn’t want to feel like I was ~encouraging~ my habit somehow, and didn’t think what I was doing really counted as stimming, if that makes sense?? like I just. chew. that’s what I’ve always done. 

but now that I then I thought about it, and doing something basically unconsciously when I’m anxious or thoughtful to help me process, like... that’s definitely stimming, right? doesn’t it count as that? I mean if it doesn’t, nbd, but I’m. just kind of not sure what to call it here.

I always thought chewy necklaces were for people who chewed all the time, or who had actual recognizable/understandable reasons for stimming, whereas I just have anxiety and bored teeth apparently. it’s one of those things where you think you don’t qualify for something even though you could definitely use it because other people who use the same thing seem to have more Legitimate reasons for doing so.

but after catching myself chewing on the collar of my t-shirt for like the zillionth time while I was writing an Adulting Email, I finally caved and bought my first two. because if I’m going to keep chewing like I always do, I might as well chew on something that’s a. made for it, and b. not going to cause me to be out another article of clothing or writing utensil.

idk, just wanted to celebrate this minor/mild milestone where I feel like I’m actually getting myself something I need and know I’ll use, instead of just sitting with an apparent comfort thing I do that I never really acknowledged or took care of. but here I am, doing it!! yay!!!

hopefully this semester all my thoughtful chewing will now be safely diverted to something that can safely support that, and my brain can go happily on its way as we figure out what the hell we’re trying to say while we work on many papers. here’s to a better start!

[thecatleader]

Daily Cat Facts: Previous Facts

AN: I’ve decided to restart my daily cat facts on here.

#1 May 18, 2016

MEOW!!!! It's time for daily cat facts!!!! Cat fact #1 I had my first crush when I was nine and then tried to turn the whole female population in my grade into my harem. (I'm so proud of myself) Cat fact #2 I have skipped a whole week of school only to come back with hundreds despite what I missed. Cat fact #3 If it wasn't obvious before I am the good kind of insane sorta... Cat fact #4 I help anyone who needs help if I can though most times my help is unwanted :( Cat fact #5 I am hetrophobic and It's hard to even be in the presence of other people especially Christians and homophobes, though I don't necessarily hate on other people unlike the ones I've met I just dislike their presence.

#2 May 19, 2016

MEOW!!!! It's time for daily cat facts!!! Cat fact #1 When I'm sick It's strangely at the same time every year It's like someone scheduled it and it's annoying. Cat fact #2 When tests with the same questions are given I get annoyed because it gets boring with repeated questions. Cat fact #3 When I'm 'out of it' I am literally out of it with sass. Cat fact #4 I have to keep  a constant stream of noise lest I get crazy no one wants that especially when I start yelling. Cat fact #5 I don't like straight pairings but I will write them because I'm not that mean to people who like those pairings though be warned it will probably not make any sense.

#3 May 20 & 21, 2016

MEOW!!!! It's time for daily cat facts!!! Cat fact #1 When the going gets tough I give up and come back later with a cat. Cat fact #2 Whenever I watch something cool I want to do what is happening especially if it's exploding something. Cat fact #3 Pizza is LIFE and it's the only thing I can eat without getting sick. Cat fact #4 My vessel vibrates and it gets hard to move when it slows IDK what is wrong with it. Cat fact #5 My vessel is a weird masochist and sadist mix it likes playing with people and then playing with Itself and it growls when it wants something. Yesterday's cat facts (I couldn't post them yesterday) Cat fact #1 I'm addicted to reading and writing so I do both very frequently and sometimes I do both at the same time that is why there is split screen. Cat fact #2 Hating is something I can't do no matter what I say because everyone I hate ends up dying from bad luck and I am not letting that happen again. Cat fact #3 I care about people even if I say I detest or hate them. Cat fact #4 I can understand something while not understanding at all mostly because my vessel understands while I do not. Cat fact #5 Noise is the only thing that keeps the brain waves of my vessel steady with out noise it shuts down and I have to spend the next hour or so trying to fix it while being in a constant state of the state between consciousness and unconsciousness.

#4 May 23, 2016

MEOW!!!! It's time for daily cat facts!!! Cat fact #1 The highest amount of pizza slices I have eaten is 15 which is what I ate today. Cat fact #2 There is no denying that I am addicted to pizza... and catnip. Cat fact #3 Meow is the most common word I use in daily conversation. Cat fact #4 I will eventually write a story about my pizza eating method. Cat fact #5 I can memorize a song the moment I hear it  in any language.

#5 Jun 15, 2016

MEOW!!!! It's time for daily cat facts!!! Cat fact #1 My vessel gets horribly sick in the winter and summer and whenever I decide to go on vacation out of state (This was what was impeding me from writing these few past months) Cat fact #2 I'm now officially addicted to KHR fanfictions due to the fact that I've now read at least 300 of them. Cat fact #3 For some reason I hate the quiet and when I go to sleep I have to have  something on making noise or else I'll wake up every few minutes to sing to myself it was really bad in the past because I'd have nothing on and I would practically wait in bed all night until I get some noise to fall asleep to during the day (Mostly to the teacher lectures or noisy classmates) Cat fact #4 I just realised I had repeated the same cat fact trice with different information on each oh well. Cat fact #5 I look at the pokemon anime and wonder why do they not have it consistent with the games and laugh at the many many things wrong with it.

#6 Jun 27, 2016

MEOW!!! It's time for daily cat facts!!! Cat fact #1: When I was younger I was a lot like Hibari Kyoya from KHR. How you ask? I chased the group of herding boys at school like a maniac and they were all bullies and when I caught them I bit/ scratch/ slapped them to death. Though some instances were worst than most when I literally bit them to death and tore out chunks of their flesh with my teeth or claws (nails). I wonder why I wasn't arrested when I was nine... then again no one ever found out because I scared my fellow classmates and was friends with all the teachers to the point I could practically make then ignore everything I do that's bad. Hehehehe oh the memories *sadistic smirk* Anyway Next fact. Cat fact #2: In the past I was known to make the entire population of males at my school fear me and most of the girls love me (Biased much?) Cat fact #3: I can make various animal sounds that sound so life like people start to wonder where said animal is until they realise its me. (Meowing in class when the teachers talking was so fun especially when no one realises it's me because I can do it with my mouth closed) Cat fact #4: Some people think I have a horrible childhood I don't think so because the bad things were mostly caused by me because my subconscious wants to teach me a lesson. (It doesn't work I know it's my fault) Cat fact #5: Most of the things I've done when I was younger have mellowed down because writing, reading manga, and watching anime have become an outing for my uncontrollable tendencies and desires.

#7 Aug 11, 2016

MEOW!!! It's time for daily cat facts!!! Cat fact #1: The reason writing takes so long is because the other cats don't know when to stop reading and start writing. Cat fact #2: When I go visit other worlds the most I see is pokemon and sometimes there are different pokemon. Cat fact #3: Most recent visit was me opening the Steam Siege booster box and getting a lot of full arts and a few pokemon that I didn't recognize. Cat fact #4: I've been watching KHR over and over again lately yea one of the reasons I haven't been updating. Cat fact #5: This is strange but I've updated more when I'm in school than this summer in fact I had written a whole story in school but I haven't put it online because it had a horrible story line.