#idk what kind of story it will have if anything but ill play anything to see iori and saber again.........

[qoldenskies]

Just wanted to say I really like how you write Splinter. It feels very authentic as someone with a home life like that so I find your fics vry cathartic :)

thank you! ;~; i have very complicated feelings on splinter because i admit that the "good/bad parent splinter" tags kind of annoy me sometimes just a little... because i think splinter is a parent they all love and cherish and adore and they end up with good relationships with him from what's shown, but we also must not undermine it. splinter was a neglectful parent, and neglect is abuse, and that is extremely noticeable in the way that they all act. but it also wasn't his fault for being mentally ill and... i suppose the whole transformation feels like a metaphor for physical disability? ive always seen it as something kind of like chronic illness.

splinter's a victim of circumstance and he is not fully responsible for the position he put them in. the sad reality is that the closest equivalent is living a life in poverty, and the kind of situations raph and donnie were put in can happen to kids even with attentive, considerate and healthy parents. but this doesn't mean poor, or disabled, or mentally ill people shouldn't be having children. that is a eugenicist narrative that would also predominantly be applied to and enforced on people of color. the problem lies in the lack of resources and capitalism as a whole. i feel like making him unambiguously abusive because he's malicious and hates his kids can be kind of a cop-out, although it depends on the story you want to tell.

i do think accountability is something i want to hit splinter with and the show does try to do it to at least some extent-- but also it's a comedy first and foremost. some of splinter's neglect is played up for goofs and gaffes so i feel like taking gags to show that he's secretly an abuser (whatever the hell the end of lair games was, or him whacking them with his tail, for example) is kind of disingenuous lmao. rise plays up very real problems for the sake of comedic effect, and i like that there's some underlying things to pick at in-between the lines that makes the characters feel so alive. i feel like it's what fanfic's for.

but also i understand why people DONT like splinter. there are some parts of his characterization, especially his design, that are very racist. i just hate when people make his depiction even more racist when they make him evil. i also dont like the fatphobia in the show idk. the biggest reason i havent drawn him is because i would want to redesign him, but i cant really fix the weird racist undertones without making him anything but a rat i fear.

[samipekoe]

thanks for answering my question! i finished fate samurai (the ng+ ending destroyed me) now i need to learn japanese and chinese for all those comics and fanfics for saber and iori i hope you have a lovely day c:

RAAAAA I'm glad you played it!!!! if you want you should read the fgo (mobile game) x fsr collab event...it has delicious food for the iori/saber nation

[waywardsalt]

tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz

[tinkerbellknockoff]

"roommates" // melissa yellowjackets x fem!reader

"roommates" // melissa yellowjackets x fem!reader

melissa plays therapist after you can't sleep.

-- a/n: quick blurb thing idk, I just love her <3

the crickets outside echoed through your tent. it almost felt like a form of mockery as you tried to tuck yourself into your blanket further, the harshness of the dirt beneath you preventing from being too comfortable.

you flipped around, desperately trying to find the position that would finally let you relax- that would finally let you sleep. unfortunately, today was one of those nights where your mind was restless.

tonight was one of those nights your mind grieved the life you had before the crash. grieved your family, your friends, the college you were going to. your mind grieved who you could've been.

and that's why you couldn't sleep.

your thoughts were broken as you heard a groggy voice break through the crickets, pausing your shuffling. you froze in embarrassment.

in the makeshift tents that the yellowjackets had created, each tent shared 2-3 of them. you and Melissa had landed in a tent from simple draw. there was no complaints out of neither of you- you didn't know each other enough to be happy, but there wasn't any ill will to be upset.

melissa's voice broke through the silence again, this time being eligible for you to hear, "(y/n)?"

her groggy voice made her voice naturally quiet, and you could hear her own shuffling. you let out a hum of acknowledgement, scared to make too much noise and possibly drawing her further out of sleep.

"are you awake?" melissa's voice became more steady, but still in a hushed whisper- not wanting to wake up the others. your back was turned to her, you curled into your own body, and you heave out a brief sigh, regret filling your body.

"yeah," you whispered, "did i wake you? 'm sorry."

you could hear shuffling from her again, and you felt cold fingertips touch your shoulder. your head slowly turned to face her, slightly sitting up, propping yourself onto your elbows. you blinked at her, now being greeted with her silhouette.

the moon's rays were the only thing outlining melissa. her dirty blonde locks were cascading down her body messily, her body propped onto one side, her elbow holding her up. her other arm was outstretched towards you, slightly bent in an almost retracting kind of matter. without being able to see her eyes, you could tell she was intensely looking at you.

"no," melissa shook her head, clearing her throat, "it's no biggie..."

silence fell onto you both once more, the crickets beginning to fill the noise once more. you cleared your throat awkwardly, making slight moved to adjust yourself to curl back into your position.

"i- wait," melissa spoke again, cutting off your movement, "is... is something bothering you?"

before you could respond, apologizing tumbled out of her mouth, "i'm sorry, am i being too nosey? you don't have to tell me anything-."

her rant was cut off by the laughter rolling off your lips. she watched your silhouette move to face hers again, you laying completely on your side, facing her.

"no, it's okay," you laughed quietly. melissa seemed to be dead quiet, and you could feel the embarrassment rolling off of her in waves.

you began telling her your troubles, telling her stories of your life at home- both the good and bad. you told stories of your friends, your interests- everything you couldn't have in the wilderness. you blamed your openness on late night blues, but you truly couldn't stop yourself from rambling.

melissa listened. she never interrupted you once. hours could've passed- neither of you could have possibly known- but that didn't matter to either of you.

as your rants subsided, you let out a yawn. a laugh elicited out of melissa this time.

"you just needed to get that off your chest, huh?" she teased softly, no bite to her words. you chuckled in response.

"I guess I did," you hummed out quietly, ".. thank you."

"of course... that's what roommates are there for, right?" melissa hummed, a silence hanging after her final sentence. your body continued to relax, slowly falling into a tired daze.

melissa watched you with intensity in her eyes, something you didn't notice. you always had her eye- she was simply the kind to admire in silence, never wanting to make the first move. she was too scared to embarrass herself- or to just make you think negatively of her in general.

she wanted you to like her.

so you opening up to her, and slowly falling asleep thanks to her, her chest swelled up with pride.

you let out a sleepy laugh finally, your response delayed through your exhaustion, "the best roommate anyone could've asked for."

and like that, you had fallen asleep. and staring at your relaxed figure, melissa's lips twitched into a smile. her heart hammered in her chest, a blush coating her cheeks from your simple comment.

looks like she was going to be the one not sleeping tonight.

[zomboivex]

Things I wish TKD would add

I’ll preface this by saying these are just things I specifically want . It doesn’t necessarily mean that they need to happen nor do I desperately want these things to happen. I’m cool with how things are b it if they DID add these things, I’d be pretty stoked.

In no particular order under the cut!

1. More campus hangouts. Just throw them in. I just want more scenes to obsessively pick at. That’s all.

2. The mini ghouls having outfit changes available on the various screens if you have the cards unlocked (and use dark matter to unlock them because I’m sick of diamonds being there for everything lol).

3. Some free PFP. Even if it’s the fucking R cards. Or like the R & SR warding cards. Imagine having Peekaboo as an option for your PFP. Or literally even the house logos being a super cheap like 500 diamond option. (Cheap by their standards, okay?)

4. Another gameplay option that isn’t like fucking arena or GOC or RAG. Sorry but I literally hate competitive play. Not even when it’s just catered to whales. Just in general. (I especially hate the time locks being so late for me because sorry I’m not saying up until 10-11pm to fucking play a mobile game. I get up at 4am for work).

5. More line dialogues. But kind of like, “Hey! Check out these new chapters!” Or idk. Like it doesn’t need to be anything crazy. But the amount of times Rui literally never varies his voicelines on screen no matter the time of day for me drives me wild. Don’t say the same line 10 times in a row, buddy. I love you. I’ll listen to it. But I have it memorized at this point.

6. More Dark Matter options. Literally why is there only ONE option for Dark Matter to be spent on? Am I crazy? Like what? It’s helpful. But I’d love if I could use it on apples every now and then. Not gapples. Just regular apples. My higher levels need them. Please. I beg. Or even just potions.

7. More ways to get pink potions. Maybe with…. Dark Matter….? Or arena points? Or buy in the guild shop after your guild unlocks the level for it? Something. please. I crave the pink potion.

8. Add on a second idle animation at some point. Maybe. Please. Rui deserves to maybe cheer when a potted plant grows. Hasn’t he been enough through his butterfly slaughter? Also some of them just have- boring idles (Jin).

9. Phone calls. Add more phone calls in the story and game. But let me not answer. I loved that the first one you got in the game, you could decline or answer. And sure, it didn’t MATTER. But please. Give me this option. Imagine being able to decline Jin. Or Leo (for you Leo haters lol).

10. Change the rainbow line for different cards. Any time I pull wedding Rui and I see curse twin pop up only to see his standard makes me physically ill. (I am destined to never get wedding Rui, I fear lol).

Anyways. I could prattle on about more things. But I do kinda want the ghoul mini one to happen. That would be cute.

[agaypanic]

They're open yay omg!! Ok I had a cute idea for Rodrick Heffley if you're up for it! :)

Rodrick x Male!Reader where reader sings him 'boyfriend' by Big Time Rush the same way that Rodrick sang 'baby' by Justin Bieber for that one girls birthday (I literally don't remember her name lol but also it doesn't have to be his birthday) but like, it doesn't end as badly as it did for him lmao

Idk if they should be an established relationship between him and reader or if this is like readers confession so ill let you choose what you feel like writing for!

Boyfriend (Rodrick Heffley X Male!Guitarist!Reader)

Masterlist

Request Something!

Summary: While waiting for your friends to show up to band practice, you decide to show Rodrick a new song you’ve been working on.

A/N: this is my first time writing for rodrick so pls lmk how i did! au where reader wrote ‘boyfriend’ instead of btr (with a few tweaks). rodrick and reader are in the talking stage (i dont wanna say situationship but ig that works lol) but their friends dont know about it. the only instrument i know about is the violin so sorry if i get anything wrong. also i think doing singing in stories/fics is kinda weird/awkward but whatever lol

***

You always cherished the few minutes you had alone with Rodrick during band practice. Sure, you liked your other friends. But there was something about being able to watch Rodrick not put on the whole ‘bad boy rocker’ persona that he was used to wearing. Around you, he felt like he could wind down and not think as much.

Although, he didn’t think too much in the first place.

“I think we have a real shot at winning this talent show,” Rodrick said, drumming a beat on your thigh as he watched you tune your guitar. “We just need to practice more.”

“Well, I think we sound fine right now.”

“We don’t need to sound fine; we need to sound great!”

“Chill out, Roddy.” You said gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. “It’s a month away; we have plenty of time.”

“Don’t call me that.” Despite his words, the corner of Rodrick’s lip twitched up at the nickname. You were the only one who called him that. At first, he didn’t like it; it wasn’t a hardcore rocker name. But soon, he found himself getting giddy at the softness of it. “I guess you’re right, though.” 

Rodrick strummed his fingers across the strings of your guitar, laughing when you slapped his hand away.

“Work on anything new lately?” He asked, looking up at you from his hunched-over position. Along with being the guitarist, you were one of the main songwriters in Löded Diper, having many one-on-one writing sessions with Rodrick. That’s how the two of you grew closer, going from childhood friends playing on slides to somewhere between friends and something more, playing songs. Secret handshakes turned to lingering touches, and loud laughs turned to whispered jokes.

You were a bit hesitant to answer. You had been working on some new songs, but they didn’t exactly fit the Löded Diper brand. They were love songs, most, if not all, written with Rodrick in mind. 

“Kind of.” You finally say, picking at a frayed edge of your jeans. Rodrick perked up, always loving your new material.

“Yeah? Show me!”

“It’s not exactly like the stuff we play.” You argue, a bit anxious at the thought of Rodrick hearing what you had been toying with recently. “Besides, it’s not finished.”

Rodrick just shrugged, leaning back in his seat.

“Show me anyway.”

You hated how you could never say no to those eyes. You sighed and finally agreed, fiddling with your guitar while trying to remember the chords.

“No laughing.” You say.

“When do I ever laugh at you, Y/n?”

“All the time.” With that, you started playing. You gave Rodrick a nervous glance before clearing your throat and singing.

“Have you ever had the feeling you’re drawn to someone?

And there isn’t anything they could of said or done?

And everyday I see you on your own

And I can’t believe that you’re alone

But I overheard your friends and this is what they said”

Looking over at Rodrick, you saw him intently listening. Any other time, you’d be prideful of the fact that all his attention was on you. But right now, it made you wanna run. But you stayed planted in your seat and continued with the song.

“That you’re looking for a boyfriend

I see that, gimme time, you know I’m gonna be there

Don’t be scared to come put your trust in me

Can’t you see all I really want to be

Is your boyfriend

Can’t fight that

Knock me down you know I’m coming right back

I don’t care at all what you done before

All I really want is to be your

Boyfriend”

You let the last chord ring out before you set your guitar down and cleared your throat.

“So, yeah…” Rodrick kept staring at you. “That’s… the song.”

Rodrick scooted closer to you, and you lifted your head to face him eye-to-eye.

“Did you write that about me?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. You bit your lip, watching how his hair fell from the movement.

“Depends.” You say, taking a deep breath. “Did you like it?”

Suddenly, Rodrick laughed. It made you stiffen, but you soon relaxed when he put a hand on the back of your neck.

“You’re so corny, dude.” He said before closing the gap between you. 

After the shock washed away, you gripped at his hair and ratty t-shirt, wanting to keep him close. You had come close to kissing Rodrick a few times, mainly while drunk at parties that you shouldn’t have been at or during writing sessions that eventually got interrupted by Rodrick’s younger brother Greg. But those close moments didn’t prepare you for how good the real thing felt.

When you parted, you rested your forehead on Rodrick’s as the two of you caught your breath. You opened your eyes and moved back a bit so you could see him clearly.

“So…” You start, not knowing what to do from here. “Are you looking for a boyfriend?”

“Sure.” Rodrick snorted before kissing you again.

[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

Hi! I saw your post that requests are open and I checked out your guidelines! It seems you and I have the same favs

May I request a Hunter x fem!reader, on Pabu, before the eplilouge but after the finale. I don't really have a specific idea, but maybe something like the two of them sitting on a back porch swing or something, watching as their kids play.

Maybe Hunter talking about how he never thought he'd ever have this and couldn't be happier?

Just some heavy fluff and cuddling and babies and anything that makes a fangirl screech.

Don't have an idea for a chapter name, maybe something like "Something Just Like This" idk, I have that song stuck in my head so.

Thats all! Bye!

Something Just Like This

Hunter x Reader

Summary- After getting your happy ending, you spend some needed down time with Hunter. Oh, and your two kids! This is a part 3 to 'Marry Me?' (Could be read by itself)

Part One right here! And Part Two right here!

A/N- Thank you so much for requesting, Hun! Hope you like it! I LOVED this request, happy endings and babies are my fav!!!!

Word Count- 1,804

Your first pregnancy terrified Hunter to the core.

He knew you would make a fantastic mom, that was for sure. He was just worried that he would find fault. Not only that, but the many complications that naturally came with birth, The Empire, if the baby would have a genetic mutation- His list went on and on.

At the end of the day, he was assured by his brothers, Omega, the citizens of Pabu (Especailly the doctors), and most importantly you.

He figured that no matter how big of a so-called, 'screw up' he was, you were there to balance him out. Even though you assured him everyday.

He had actually figured out the pregnancy before you. Almost exactly three years after your wedding, he awoke to an uneasy feeling. He was sure it was his heightened senses. He couldn't place what, but something was different about you.

His mind Immediately went to some kind of illness, were you sick? Did you have a disease? He scared himself.

Upon him intensively listening to your heartbeat, your smell, your feel- he heard it. Coming from your abdomen, undeniably. The most quiet sound he had ever picked up on. Your baby's heartbeat, it was so gentle...

It took only a few minutes of pondering. Wait for you to find out on your own? No, he would feel as if he were lying. Get a doctor to confirm first? No, he was sure what he heard. Surprise you at breakfast? No, he couldn't wait that long.

He took a deep inhale for confidence, then spoke your name. A light hand to your shoulder to wake you.

"Hm?" You called out, now awake, but eyes closed.

"I have something to tell you." His voice sounded almost giddy. Very unlike him. This prompted you to open your eyes.

"What?" You look at him deeply, never getting used to his rugged hair, his dark eyes, his sharp features... You felt so lucky to be married to him.

He bit back a smile, placing a hand just under your belly button. At first, you thought he woke you for a completely different activity.

"Maybe later, I'm tired..."

He gave a deep laugh, "No, no, not that."

"Then what?" You chuckled out, completely ignorant.

He lowered himself, shuffling to his head was at your stomach. "I can hear our baby..."

He presses his cheek and ear flat onto you. "Our baby?" You asked, confused.

To this day, when you both joke about the story, you blame drowsiness for your stupidity.

"You're pregnant, I can hear them inside you..." He pressed his lips down, kissing your belly.

This fully woke you up really fast, realization hitting you. You propped yourself up on your elbows, "I'm pregnant!"

You were overjoyed, a child was something you both talked about for months. It was perfect timing.

Of course Omega would always be your first child, you loved her as if she was your biological daughter. But a baby! This was so exciting for both of you.

You pushed yourself up, wrapping your arms around Hunter. He easily caught you, his own arms going in for a hug.

With your face pressed into his neck, "Are you 100% sure?" You meekly asked.

"Unless last nights dinner is still alive, I'm definitely sure."

You threw the two of you back on the bed, a fit of giggles and joy overtaking you.

Your sweet baby boy, Tech. Named after Hunters fallen brother.

He looked just like his father, brown hair, deep eyes, a sharp nose. You were a little annoyed that he didn't look anything like you, you were the one who did all the hard work!

You quickly got over it once you saw Hunter hold him for the first time. They looked exactly like father and son. You couldn't be happier.

Tech was now six years old, his personality replicating yours. Oh, and your second child- Kori, was approaching two. Kori was a little more on the rough side, she took after her father in trait. This time, you managed to give her your hair. Though, Hunters deep brown eyes stuck again.

You watched Tech run around with his new toy- a sling shot that Crosshair had gifted him. 'Very fitting....' You thought.

It was calming to watch him set his stuffed animals up, then shoot them off of the fence. A kind of practice range. Worry escaped you, you and Hunter had plenty of land behind your home on Pabu. It was a beautiful green field, a perfect view of the sunset from your back porch.

That is where you sat on your porch swing, keeping a watchful eye on Tech. Kori was getting to the age where she wanted to do things on her own, so you also kept an eye on her as she sat on the wooden porch a few feet to the left of you. She was fiddling with a Lula doll she got for her second birthday.

You busied your hands sewing a blanket, your fingers working mindlessly.

You only turned around when you heard the back door creak open, you needed to fix it- but the squeak meant someone you loved was near. So maybe you wouldn't...

Hunter shut the door behind him, coming up to you.

With the same smile he's had since you two met, he spoke, "Hello beautiful, mother of my children, love of my life, Wi-"

You interrupted him, "No need for flattering, I already said 'I do'." You snickered, pulling your needle up.

"Mhm, and I will spend everyday thanking you for it." He bent down to give you a quick kiss.

Tech, upon seeing his father, rushed up to greet him.

"Papa!" Tech was met by Hunter picking him up under the arms, and spinning him around. You smiled at the interaction, then got back to work sewing.

After a few words exchanged between father and son, Hunter turned to Kori.

"Why don't you take your sister and show her how you play with your new toy." He suggested, Tech bounced over to his sister. It was adorable to watch him grab Kori's tiny hand, slowly helping her up and off the porch.

He settled into the swing next to you leaning back with a sigh.

"How was work?" You asked, like you did every day.

It wasn't truly called 'work.' You had just settled on that term.

"Fine, just a couple citizens arguing." He said, closing his eyes, arms folding across his chest.

"Oh? What about?" You inquired, pressing your needle back into the cloth. You also made sure to peek up at the children.

"Well one didn't understand why certain fruits went out of season- angry we didn't have any Fuji Berries."

You were amused, "Those don't even grow on Pabu."

"That's what I tried to tell him!" He exaggerated. "At least it was a boring day, I'd rather that then something serious happening."

"You mean you don't miss running for your life everyday?" You tease, shuffling so your side touched his.

"Yeah, that'd definitely be fun with two kids in tow." He teased right back.

You were prepared to banter back and forth, but Hunter opened his eyes for a more serious comment.

"Ya know, I still can't believe this..."

He turned and looked you in the eyes, you set your sewing project down.

"Us?" You asked.

"No, well, yes. I mean all of this... Tech, Kori, you, Pabu. We're all safe. Finally... It's almost, weird, if I'm being honest." At his words you leaned to his chest, he welcomed you with an arm around you.

"We're all here Hunter... Because of you... You made this all possible." You reassured him.

He shook his head, "No, you did. No one else could make he half as happy as you make me. You created my two balls of sunshine. You are here with me."

Touched by his words, you lean up for a kiss. His lips meet yours slowly, basking in every second.

"Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum." He spoke, leaning back in for a second kiss.

The second you part you reciprocate his words, "I love you too..."

You reach for his hand that was by your hip, grasping it. "You wanna thank me for something else too?" You smugly asked.

Him, with scrunched eyebrows, "And what is that, princess?"

"Our third baby..." You press his hand flat to your abdomen.

He perks up immediately, "Are you serious?"

With a laugh, you nod your head.

"But, how? I should have been able to hear, I-" It was true that Hunter could probably hear the baby's heartbeat. But you had made sure to have your back to him while sleeping, wake up before him, kept him busy in the mornings, and occupied him with the children as of late.

"I've been very careful at tracking my blood, and I guess you could say Mothers Instinct. I have been through this before." You looked up at him, "Are you happy?"

"Am I happy? Of course! I just... I can't believe you found out before me..." It was true that Hunter prided himself in being able to notice the slightest of change in you. How could he have missed your third child?

"Hey, you knew the first two times. Give me a chance!" You jested.

Despite all of his typical pessimistic thoughts, he pulled you into a tight hug.

"I didn't know it was possible to be happier than I was 2 minutes ago. You always surprise me." He pulled away, only to place both hands on your belly.

You picked up the blanket you had been working on, "I was hoping they could use this when they're born." You hold up the blanket so he could see.

"It's perfect..." He said.

"Do you want a girl or boy?" You mindlessly ask, taking a glance at your son and daughter.

Hunter was too enchanted to register what you had said, he was already lifting your shirt and leaning down to try and hear the baby.

It didn't matter that it hurt his back, he was rewarded when he pressed an ear to you- hearing that 'Thump... Thump... Thump...'

"Hmm?" You question again.

He leaned up. "Sorry, what did you ask?" He kept his eyes locked on your lower stomach, hands now too.

"Do you want another girl or boy?" You press a hand to his head, softly raking his hair.

He thought on it for a moment, "A boy, only for Tech's sake. Omega and Kori already have their run on Tech." He teased, but you knew that Kori at her small age- had Tech wrapped around her little pudgy finger.

"But, I really don't care. As long as they're ours..." He finished.

You still held Hunter tight, just enjoying the intimate moment. "Me too..."

A/N- Thank you so much for reading! I had so much fun writing this! As always, I appreciate all comments and constructive criticism!

Tags- (lmk if you want to be tagged as well!) @thethreeeyed-raven @knight-of-flowerss

[romanarose]

You say you love being queer and writing queer stories but you write straight stories more than anything else. Not hating just seems like its about attention. You say you don't have interest in transitioning but you want to be called a man. It's just not realistic, and seems like you want internet clout. Or, is it because you've gotten called out for fetishizing gay men and now you want a buffer? You're obsession with gay men is weird, stop trying to make everything gay or transgendered. Santiago Garcia isn't trans and Fish isn't gay with Ben. Go back to being a boring tumblr girlie writing smut one shots of an innocent younger reader like everyone else and stop trying to tell a story you can't relate to like gay men

you guys this is my fault honestly. I turned off anons after I got called a slur (a slur for jewish people?? which i am not??? and which they spelled wrong????) but then turned on bc i was having a discussion on my blog about identifying with the term SA survivor vs. victim and wanted people to be able to chime in anonymously.

It's my fault for keeping anon on when I know this is what I get LOLOLOL

Brother, i dont even know what you're trying to say. Are you homophobic? because I make characters gay and trans? Are you transphobic because you don't think I can write gay mens stories bc I'm transmasc? Are you transmedicalist because you said I'm not trans if i dont want to transition? I DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS HAPPENING LOLOLOL

Honestly you sound like those transphobic men that suddenly really care about lesbians and lesbian spaces only because they think trans women going to lesbian bars is the downfall of society (go outside anon. Lesbians dont care if trans women are in their bars, by and large)

Let me make this clear. I am bigender. How I'm about to describe my experience with gender is not everyones, ad certainly not like that of trans men I know. It's mine.

I was afab. I spent probably 26 years identifying as a woman with a few spurts of trying out how they/them identity felt and not liking it. I still identify a little as female. I describe it like 90% masc 10% fem. thats why while I call myself a man and trans masc, there still that femininity there. That can be and is fluid. I, presenting as a woman, was the victim of a lot of gender based violence and manipulation that took advantage of me to varying degrees. From rape to men playing with my feelings. i experienced this as a woman and this is what I know. that's why much of my writing is women mc's and readers.

also, most of my audience are afab women. A lot of stuff i write isn't for me, but bc people have shown interest and i like doing that. In the last several months I've gotten to know more male and gender divserse creaters and have more than just women in my audience. they want more diverse characters, so ill give it.

I love writing all kinds of stories. I love queer stories. I love dark stories exploring how many women have been victimized by men. I like stories where women findd healing with good men. I love coming out stories. I love writing female mc's, like Jana and Sam, who still end up with men but are bisexual and are not any less bisexual. I like writing male characters as trans like Joel and Santi, especially santi because a lot of trans men i know can see themselves in his body type. I like it all.

Also, trans medicalists can fuck right off. You dont need to transition to be trans. Transitioning is not right for everyone. But even that aside, I've only said I dont want to go on T. I've said i want a breast reduction. Not that it's anyones business, but im pretty open.

anyway, your ask is all over the place and idk what you want lol

[mylovelies-docx]

Sorry, I Love You - Part 6

It's my birthday, so here is my gift to all you lovely people :)

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: brief mentions of HYDRA approved "science", insecurities

Word Count: idk ill look later

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[Prologue][Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4][Part 5]

Meeting with the contact goes down without a hitch. You’re surrounded by scraggly trees and evergreens, snow heavy on bare branches and pine needles alike. You’re briefed on all the important information: who’s who, ongoing projects, expectations for your work. You nod along as you write down shorthand notes – really only intelligible to you, but you’ll burn them once you memorize the information regardless.

The rendezvous is short, but you’ll be seeing them again soon at your new ‘job’. You flip your notebook closed and dip your head briefly to acknowledge the end of the meeting. Olaf (not his real name) returns the gesture and stalks off, presumably heading back to the HYDRA facility.

You take your time getting back to the house – you want to give Bucky his privacy and time by himself to prepare for the workday ahead. You envy the monotony of working on vehicles all day: scouring the engine, finding the necessary parts, sliding under the metal frame and lying on your back for hours… 

Come to think of it, maybe you shouldn’t imagine lying on your back for hours in the same thought process that involves Bucky. Too many memories and too much pain.

Regardless, anything is better than working for HYDRA, even if you are actively working to sabotage them while you’re there. Yeah, Bucky is here to keep an eye on you and provide backup and know-how, but you’re the one that is pivotal to this mission. The one that needs to get in, get out, and get gone before HYDRA realizes how big of a mess they’re in.

You begin fine-tuning the personality and mannerisms that will serve you best here. Olaf had explained the specific work culture of the HYDRA facility during the meeting, so you’re now better able to imagine your life for the foreseeable future: work, work, work, kidnapping, torture, experiments, exhaustion. 

And going home to Bucky every night, your brain supplies. You mentally swat the words away. Of course you’re going ‘home’ to Bucky. He’s your immediate backup in case something goes wrong – he has to be close. Even if it’s not the intimate kind of close. Not the kind of close you used to be when this mission was first given to you last year. Not the close that originally had you posing as husband and wife, but the kind that now has Bucky as your brother.

A shiver courses through you at the thought, and you wrap your arms tighter around your snuggly bundled self. Bucky as your brother is the worst scenario you could possibly imagine, but everyone agreed that with the new tension between you and Bucky, romance wouldn’t be the wisest play up here.

A soft groan leaves your lips and you dip your head quickly in disappointment before popping back up and looking ahead. There’s no point in yearning for something that will never happen again. You need to actually move on, not just lie about it and pretend like you did. Bucky deserves that much. You deserve that much.

Taking a deep breath, you shift your focus back to the mission. It’s time to embrace the role, leaving behind the echoes of a love that was now confined to memories. You couldn't afford distractions or longing. HYDRA's demise depended on your unwavering commitment, even if it meant burying your heart's desires in the depths of your being.

***

You arrive home a short while later, the creaks and groans of the old house underlying the silence of the empty rooms. It seems that Bucky had left for work while you were out. Glancing over to the clock atop the fireplace mantel, you're taken aback to see how much time has passed. You must have been lost in your thoughts far longer than you had initially realized. 

You close the door softly behind you and shuffle out of your coat. You hang it on a peg beside the door where your and Bucky’s other coats reside, noticing how well the colors reflect both of your personalities. You can’t help but laugh at the blacks, grays, and dark blues of Bucky’s jackets that contrast sharply with the whites, pinks, and pastels of your own. The smile lingers until you kick off your boots and walk further into the quiet house.

The echoing silence pulses in your ears and makes you uncomfortable. You hadn’t been alone like this in a very long time – there was always at least one person in the next room or house or building that you could reach out to. But with Bucky at his ‘new job’ and no neighbors knocking on the door to welcome you to the neighborhood, you feel totally isolated.

With nothing else to do besides wallow in loneliness, you decide to throw on some music and dive into all the information the team has gathered on this HYDRA location. You’d skimmed the files on the way here yesterday, but now you had the time to really peruse. You run upstairs to change into comfortable clothes and throw your hair up and away from your face. You return downstairs and pull out your laptop, setting up camp at the kitchen table. You open your favorite music streaming app and hit play, starting up your ‘get shit done’ playlist. You bop your head to the beat and dig in.

***

Hours later, you hear the door creak open and Bucky steps inside, his face smudged with grease and a tired smile on his lips. You rise from your hunched position and stretch your aching muscles. The pain in your upper back and neck eases slightly as you greet him, "Hey, Bucky. Welcome back. How was your day at the garage?"

Bucky wipes his hands on a rag, glancing at you with a mix of exhaustion and genuine warmth. "Oh, you know, the usual. Fixing engines, tinkering with parts. It's a nice change of pace from our usual gigs."

You nod, attempting to keep the conversation light. "Well, at least you get to put your mechanical skills to good use. It must feel good to work with your hands again."

A brief moment of silence hangs between you as you both glance down to Bucky’s hands. His metal arm is covered by Stark tech that makes it appear as if he’d never lost it in the first place. You can tell how uncomfortable he is with the sight after working so hard and so long on learning to accept himself the way he is now. He picks at the fake skin, pulling it slightly away and letting it snap back into place. Bucky clears his throat, his voice a touch hesitant, "It doesn’t quite feel right, ya know?"

You shift in your chair, tucking your leg up under you. "No, I get it, Bucky," you say. “Doesn’t feel like you, does it?” You give him a smile and a small shrug of your shoulders, as if what you’re saying is common knowledge and an opinion that everyone shares, “If you ask me, I prefer the metal.”

Bucky's eyes soften and he stops fidgeting with the skin, letting his arms drop down to his sides. “Yeah,” he agrees, “me too.”

You nod, trying to hide the warmth swelling in your chest. "Anyway," you begin. “I’ve been going over the data that you guys have gathered in the last few months. There’s a lot here, huh?”

“Yeah.” Bucky sighs and walks over to you, taking the chair opposite and stretching out his legs underneath the table. His feet encroach on your space and nearly rest underneath your chair, the table not really accommodating for his size. You pick up the one leg you still have dangling off the chair and tuck it under you with the other one. Bucky places his hands behind his head and leans back. “All of my memories of this place are hazy, but this place was a real piece of work.” A grimace mars his face and his eyes start to cloud over.

Wanting to shift the conversation away from the discomfort he may be remembering, you change the subject, "So, did anything noteworthy happen at the garage today? Any signs of HYDRA activity in the town?"

Bucky's eyes shift with a sense of purpose, grateful for the chance to discuss something less complicated. "Actually, there was something unusual. I overheard a couple of guys mentioning some military-grade vehicles arriving tomorrow for inspection. Might be worth investigating to see if they’re HYDRA."

As you delve into mission-related details, a sense of normalcy descends upon the conversation. The awkwardness and unspoken emotions linger in the background of your mind, but for now, the focus is on the task at hand. You understand that the mission takes precedence over personal matters, and you commit again to putting aside your feelings for the sake of success and Bucky’s peace of mind.

With a renewed determination, you delve into strategizing and planning, resolute in your shared mission to dismantle HYDRA's operations. 

Part 7

@jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshine @happinessinthebeing @nash-dara @calwitch @stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283

[viasdreams]

hihi i hope im not a bother when i ask this but can you please recommend some books to read (literally any genre i love exploring new stuff)??? im kind of new to this and so lost and idk where to start or what to read cuz i used to have helicopter parents that never allowed me to read(or do anything other than study lol) and ive only recently been allowed unsupervised access to the internet (god i sound like such a loser rn but :/ it is what it is) SO I CAN FINALLY READ STUFF ONLINE ATLEAST!!! you mentioned that you love reading books so :p i think i mightve overshared a bit butttt yeah :P hope you have a nice day!!

omg i got you don’t play!!!

ok im gonna list a few books from a few diff genres

horror/thriller: (check content warnings for these)

the long walk: stephen king (writing as richard bachman)

basically theses teen boys all willingly enter a competition where they have to walk until only one boy remains. if the contestants break the rules three times they’re out…if ur catching my drift

brother: ania ahlborn

prob my fave book. it's about a family of murderous cannibals in 1980s appalachia. it mainly focuses on the relationship between the two brothers as one tries to break away from the family. SAURRR GOOD

the butterfly garden: dot hutchison

my old fav book. a man likes to kidnap young women and keep them in a secret garden until he deems them "expired". the story switches between the police investigation post the women's escape and one of the girls' time in the garden

romance:

im not a big romance girl so there's only one rec

they both die at the end: adam silvera

i think the title says it all...but ill explain further 😋 basically there's this new tech that can determine who will die within the next 24 hours. the company with this tech will then call all the people set to die that day. the story is about two guys who meet on their last day (i wrote a felix one-shot based off this book, shit impacted me)

classics/modern classic:

not really a genre but theyre classics for a reason soooooo you should read them

metamorphis: franz kafka

this one is a novella (like 60 pages) so its good if you want something short. gregor wakes up one day as a giant (arguably roachlike but its never explicitly stated in the original german text) creature. the story follows him and his family while they "cope" with this situation.

one flew over the cuckoo's nest: ken kesey

takes place in a psych ward when a new "rowdy" patient is admitted and stands up to the authoritarian head nurse.

the hunger games: suzanne collins

this series will be considered a classic in 100 year MARK MY WORDS. i think the plot is pretty well known but just in case you don't know, its in a dystopian america where children from the lower class have to kill each other to atone for the war 100 years prior, and for the entertainment of the upper class.

yuh those are some of my recs !! if you read one, i really hope you enjoy <333333333333 and like if you wanna talk about them...you know where to find me 🫣

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Sense and Sensibility (2024, Hallmark) a review

I had expectations for this movie. They were not surpassed. It didn't perform below them either.

Spoilers under the cut.

So, this is a short movie (1.24hr long) a tv movie, a hallmark movie. You must keep that in mind as a frame of reference for what I'm about to say. You cannot really compare this with theatrical movies on equal footing.

Where to start. Costumes and sets. It is Bridgerton's world and we live in it. Everything is VERY colorful and shiny and not very real looking; that was to be expected. I think that sort of semi-fantasy aspect didn't hurt at all, and it was consistent. If you are not going to stick to the time period, at least go ham and show me something really interesting. I'm looking at you, Netflix Persuasion. There are some dresses that are pretty, and some others that... aren't. Considering that apparently the costume designer had to make something like 60 pieces in a month, it's kind of impressive that it came out as it did.

One funny bit, though, in this respect, is that they complain about how small the cottage is like some actual estate houses aren't the same size IRL XD Allenham we only get to see from afar, and it is rather disappointing.

Music: nothing to write home about, to be expected. Yes, we got one of those Vitamin String Quartet modern-song-played-by-strings. IDK. They were a bit dorky in their heyday, I don't know why they are so sought after in these pieces lately. I digress.

The acting. Deborah Ayorinde was a really good Elinor. She definitely deserved better writing and direction. The rest of the cast was good enough; I feel some roles really benefited from their characters being a bit hammy already in the source material (Lucy, Mrs Jennings, Anne, Fanny, Robert), others were really struggling because of being given very poor dialogue (Mrs Dashwood), and others were just... not good (Willoughby and Brandon, sadly). Edward was... a very special case. I can only describe it as the actor having two expressions: one, an attempt at reaching Hugh Grant's adorkableness AND Dan Stevens' ease at the same time, and two [SCREAMING INTERNALLY], but I guess those two were indeed enough to make it work just fine!

Which leads me to the writing. We all knew this adaptation was going to live or die in the writing, and most likely die.

The thing is that most of it is written around repeating 95' and 08's greatest hits, while attempting to compress the narrative into an hour and a half. And that goes as well as you can expect it to. Some scenes are painfully rushed -Brandon's backstory was extremely awkward to get through- some things are over before you have any time to assess their real weight -Marianne's illness, and many others end up being... incongruous.

Let me stop a little on those. The movie keeps Margaret, and gives her the whole play acting as a pirate with Edward from 95', but then removes the only real plot relevant thing she does in the book. So why keep the character at all? (Willoughby asks for Marianne's handkerchief in exchange for Queen Maab, instead of cutting a lock of her hair).

Because 2008 makes Brandon suspicious of Willoughby from the get go, this one makes it so that they know each other and implies that Brandon knows dirt on Willoughby, but then plays the rest of the story straight, which makes it... pretty inconsistent.

Speaking of Brandon, we have reached adaptation #5 that cuts out the fact that he tried to elope with Eliza sr. This time the backstory is that his father promised to let him marry Eliza if he proved himself as a soldier, but when he came back, he found his father has kicked her out of the house. Yeah, that was utter nonsense.

The adaptation makes a clumsy attempt at including the dinner at Mrs Ferrars... but Brandon isn't there to see Marianne defend Elinor.

We needed to have a "Brandon rescues Marianne in the rain" scene, but in this case, she's not faint or anything, he just grabs her because she's sad XD

And the list goes on and on and on. It was to be expected that the shadow of both 95 and 08 would be large over this one, but it truly is to the point that the references and contrivances are almost constant. Which is a pity because I think most of the original choices were interesting.

For example, Marianne twists her ankle running after Margaret, to try and stop her from asking something embarrassing, which is a good choice in terms of showing that Marianne is passionate, but she has more sense than Margaret.

On his deathbed, Mr Dashwood makes Elinor promise that she will take care of her mom and sisters and keep the family together. That added pressure on Elinor works really well in the context of the adaptation, and ads a new layer of interest.

John Dashwood is written mostly as a hapless but not malicious idiot. This is similar to what From Prada to Nada did (though there it made more sense because of the father having two families simultaneously), but I'm not sure where was that going. They did cut the Palmers, so I suppose the choice was so that they could go to Norland instead on their way to Barton (it is never established that Norland is so far away as it is in the book, so I guess one could give it a pass), but in that case, I feel the most cost effective shortcut is... have them go to Barton? Because we do get to see Barton (Marianne goes alone with Brandon to see it close to the end, and they get engaged before Edward returns, don't think much about it, manners and such are... for this movie... loose guidelines. But it isn't super offensive most of the time).

Anne Steele is decent fun as she's supposed to be, but Lucy really suffers the flattening. The mastermind has been flanderized into just a mean girl, and that's a pity.

Oh, Edward is sassy at times! And the sassy jokes land! I have to say it is not my preferred way of doing the character, but he does show some sass at the end of the novel, so, you know, I'll allow it I suppose XD

Edward's return and proposal started pretty good, but it overstayed its welcome. I cannot emphasize enough that, when writing this kind of proposal, you must avoid the word love if you can, and if you must use it, use it once, and with great reluctance.

The movie chooses to dedicate quite a time to the reveal of Edward and Lucy's relationship, and it's honestly... decent? For a scene made out of whole cloth it stands on its own feet reasonably well. But there's no Fanny freakout. This is probably the most shocking plot twist in the adaptation. This very on-the-nose Hallmark adaptation decided to cut the Fanny freakout of all things. Impressive restraint.

One thing, however, that was sadly cut out was Elinor and Marianne's conversation about Willoughby at Barton. It is instead replaced by an unsubtle comparison between Willoughby and Edward, and an exchange between Brandon and Marianne. It is one of the several points where the storytelling relies on previous knowledge of the work.

These are my main, disordered thoughts. I leave you with this choice from the ending, that I cannot form a thought about:

At Elinor and Edward's wedding, on the first pew are in attendance, from center to side: Mrs Dashwood, Margaret, Marianne, colonel Brandon... and Eliza Williams with her baby in her arms.

As a summary, I'd say Elinor and Edward's story was good enough, the relationship between the sisters was sweet, there were some odd choices, some interesting choices, and overall the writing was severely downgraded by attempting so much to stick to the choices of previous famous adaptations.

[plague-karm]

More opinions about my interests since I liked making the last one.

* At this point in time I like Freshy Kanal more than ERB, the match ups are more up my alley and the beats slap so much harder

* Sisyphus is JUST as interesting as Minos you’re just letting the memes control your judgement (read his terminal entry there’s more to him then just being a spiteful bastard towards heaven)

* If any other indie dev treated Steel Wool like Scott Cawthon did during the making of Security Breach (basically not telling them the games story which lead to it being a narrative clusterfuck) they would get drawn and quartered but because Scott Cawthon did it no one seems to mind???

* I’m beginning to not mind The Mimic but I will never get over how quickly Vanny got pushed aside. She could’ve shown how serial killers have copycat killers (something that Scott himself is scared of which is why no actual Fnaf themed restaurants have been made) long after their time is done (going back to the “I always come back” quote in a really cool way) but no we just get a fucked up little guy. I am looking forward to Secret Of The Mimic but the way Vanny got treated as a nothing threat after YEARS of build up is easily one of the most infuriating parts of Fnaf’s story

* I’m happy that the Five Laps At Freddy’s demo got patched but it NEVER should’ve been released in the state it was in and the people who were complaining towards those with concerns need to know that there is a difference between a demo with some glitches here and there and something that’s borderline unplayable. I am convinced that the demo only got released because the anniversary came up.

* Maybe Garten Of Banban would go away if people stop paying attention to it and constantly buying the new ones so they can bitch about how bad it is on their let’s play channels idk

* BATIM has my favourite setting out of any mascot horror game, it’s so immersive and the fact that it slowly changed into a sprawling ecosystem is so interesting to me

* Needy Streamer Overload has one of the best portrayals of mental illness I’ve ever seen in media but the actual gameplay gets really old after a while

* Surge > Scourge, I love them both for different reasons but Surge’s story is one of the darkest in Sonic canon and a lot more compelling to me, I’m interested to see what they do with her later in the comics

* Multishipping will free your mind please try it more I beg you

* Madohomu is NOT one sided, Homura’s feelings towards Madoka are that intense that anything Madoka feels towards her would feel small by comparison

* Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die is nowhere near the worst P!ATD album, it’s one of my favourites and it’s a really good listen for night time drives

* I hated the way some people got pissed at The Cuphead Show for not being lore and angst heavy. I really liked it! And they made certain characters way more entertaining than they were in the actual game! The Devil went from being a somewhat boring villain in the game to being my favourite character in the whole show. And the fact they made Brineybeard a monsterfucker is funnie he just like me fr

* The issue with Hazbin Hotel’s use of red isn’t the red itself, it’s the fact that the SAME shade is used CONSTANTLY. If they used different shades more frequently instead of just cherry red it wouldn’t be that much of an issue (like burgundy, burgundy is cool)

* The NiGHTS series might be one of the most wasted IP’s of all time, AMAZING character designs (NiGHTS’ design is genuinely perfect I would change nothing about it) and the atmosphere and tone was genuinely magical. Shigeru Miyamoto (the creator of MARIO) has gone on record saying that he wished he came up with the idea of NiGHTS, which is incredibly high praise…and we haven’t gotten a new one in YEARS! Where is it?!

* TADC is not an industry plant or content farm slop, because unlike that kind of shit you can actually tell that there’s passion and love behind the project. No one expected it to get as popular as it did it just happened.

* Telling someone who’s stimming (regardless of the amount of noise it makes) to stop in a condescending way is a really shitty thing to do, like come on man let my leg do its thing :(

* You do not have to defend everything you like until your last breath it’s okay to admit that it kinda sucks (Repo! The Genetic Opera is a clusterfuck narrative wise and some of the songs are shit but I still love it lmao)

* G3 Ivy’s design > G1 Ivy’s design

* Fuck The Critical Drinker, all my homies hate The Critical Drinker (his take on Midsommar’s ending is genuinely one of the most braindead analysis’ I’ve ever seen and I have no idea how anyone continued taking him seriously after that because what the fuck 💀)

* If you see news of a music artist you like go through a personal tragedy and your first thought is “the new album’s gonna be fire” then you need to get your head checked because what the fuck is wrong with you genuinely

* Mel Medarda is objectively the finest character in Arcane fight me idgaf

* Cairngorm is one of the most interesting characters in Land Of The Lustrous, you can acknowledge that they changed for the worst (fuck Aechmea) while also acknowledging that Phos solely viewing them as a second Antarcticite due to them not handling their grief well was fucked up

* The holy quintet transformation sequence in Rebellion is an actual work of art and a masterclass in symbolism i could write an entire thesis on it (and the music too omg)

* I don’t ship SCU Sonadow at all I’m sorry I just don’t see it (Prime Sonadow though? Peak shit)

* Homura and Kyoko have one of the most interesting dynamics in the entire show but no one talks about them for some reason?

* Helluva Boss’ second season will be remembered like Euphoria’s second season, amazing visuals and acting but the story took a fucking nosedive and there are several characters acting out of character solely so the plot can move forward (the fact they actually started giving Millie interesting characterisation only to get her pregnant two episodes later is insane and people are already accusing her of cheating fucking hell the misogyny in that fandom is rampant 😭)

* Leviathan has the worst boss theme in Ultrakill and it’s not even close

* Cyn is the best part of Murder Drones, she has the best design in the entire show and she’s the perfect mix of cute and disturbing

* TADC actually being character focused instead of lore focused is such a breath of fresh air, so many series’ focus on their lore to the point where the traits of the characters are mostly forged from fanon so to actually have a series focus on the actual characters and their issues is just great

[electricdissonance]

50 Follower Electric Dissonance Q&A!

thanks to all who sent in asks!! grab some popcorn and i hope you enjoy!! :]

I'm not sure! There are definitely a handful of major plot points I have planned for you all to work through that will take many months to get through (especially given my work schedule oof). After which, I'd consider the AU technically concluded. I'd love to go beyond just the main stuff, but I don't really have plans for something like an after story yet ^^;

I think the existence of after story fully depends on the kind of relationships with characters and new plot/conflict potential YOU all build using your characters!

idk im a huge fucking furry LMAO

really though, in the earliest Sonny concepts I visualized him in the digital world as this horrifying mess of vengeful teeth and claws. It was the most appealing way to manifest the monstrosity of his character, and at first I tried to create some vague beast-shaped creature and when it ended up looking like a bear, I just rolled with it!!

(he's also a big hairy dudeso like there's that too HAHSDJ)

As for your second question.........

:)

The year is 1997, a year derived from the game's lore which states that Sonny passes away months prior to KinitoPET's scheduled release by the end of 1999. I just subtracted two years since this is an AU that takes place early in KinitoPET's development :>

I'm glad you've been enjoying it!!! <3

IT'S VERY FUN!!! Growing up I loved reading and participating in ask blogs; I never thought in a million years I'd be behind one :) one of the most rewarding aspects has got to be watching you all interact and play with the story and characters <3

I do wish I could move this chunk of my life to an earlier time though because having next to 0 time or energy to consistently update sux :')

Certainly! :3

Kinito - He's still pretty hurt by what Firecracker had said... He's too nice/timid to treat them harshly or anything like that, but he's certainly going to be fairly guarded unless they come forward and apologize.

Sam - It's pretty hard to get under his skin; he's a pretty empathetic guy, so he understands why Firecracker is the way they are (the whole situation sounds insane). So, he has no particular favor or ill will towards them.

Sonny -

im a huge fucking furry

[fictionfixations]

3.1 amphoreus thoughts

i know i can take breaks but its just my preference to play it all at once, especially so i dont immediately get spoiled and then i can watch other ppl play at a slower pace so i can be sure the story is really in there and i can also get an understanding of other ppls takes on it in case i missed anything👍

i had a little bit of an issue while downloading it something about i think like pressurizing(??) so whoops also LMFAO why are you a square all of a sudden

anyway while im here imma yap a bit. i feel like. good audio design is underrated. or i just dont see it enough?? like. like i listened to clips of an audio drama for the first time and its so fucking good what the hell? i had earbuds on and at some parts i had to shudder or blink like dude it sounded like it was with me? like it was far away but it sounded like as if i was in the same plce and they were nearby and it was crazy good wtf. it was heaven official's blessing btw im amazed. if all audio dramas are like this i wanna listen

like id love to just close my eyes and listen but also i dont know chinese so unfortunate, but i also have a problem of if i close my eyes to listen to something im going to fall asleep even if im trying to focus 😭

the resolutions are genuinely so messed up though LMFAO WHOOPS ill fix it later i wanna do the story (praying story is not messed up)

STOPP I CANT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY 'alpha' DUDE everytime that word is mentioned it immediately makes it so unserious i cant

actually prediction

i bet theres an evil phainon and then our phainon. cause in the trailer it seemed like phainon stabbed mydei but actually the body looks more like phainon we just think its mydei cause of how it was edited

and the evil phainon killed everyone and was like hahahaha see what evil i am committing with your face, that you could do??? something something idk

i was like AYO DAN HENG and then i realized it was 'dan heng?' AND LIKE DUDE that gave me chills like wait this couldve been a fake!? i think because i see ourselves as outsiders that i never even thought of it since this relates to amphoreus

if im being perfectly honest i dont really remember shit from the xianzhou luofu 💀 its in that period of time where i played hsr but have zero recollection of

ah so it applies to everyone

worried about what dan heng faced but hes....... mostly gotten through his trauma i think?? ???? i mean i dont really think you can get over over trauma but like... healing. maybe?

is this applying to phainon???

robin ult makes fights so unserious om

cutscene: shows phainon stabbing someone

game: proceeds to lag and freeze on phainons face so im just sat here like ????? WHAT HAPPENED

im gonna lower the render quality and hope that helps. i just had it at 1.0 because i wanted to see the character models well cause they pretty

actually so it seems like phainon did try to stab mydei but

so what if what phainon saw was himself? himself who was taken over by strife so he (who is influenced by the trial and had ultimately 'fallen') attacks 'himself' who is actually mydei?

am i making sense i feel like im not wording it right

HUH

'you cant say that to a girl' i kind of thought mem was no gender 😭 tho i never paid attention to the pronouns ppl use for mem so i have no clue i just figured ah yes animal-like being. hm. maybe you dont have gender

i would like to inform people that i am really bad at telling what ppl are saying without captions so even if it did seem like dude was saying something i would not be able to tell at all

yeah .. ??? replaying the audio sounds like nonsense to me tbh. maybe its actually saying something. i cannot tell

no way is he dead bruh isnt he a playable character for the next patch or something? or i mightve gotten that wrong im not sure? im just like 75% sure it was like him and castorice?

PRETTY. calypso huh?

girl you can see??? with your eyes closed? uhhhh actually that might be insensitive idk maybe she lost her eyes but she can still see just not through.. them.???? no clue

cerces..

..black-robed swordmaster?

anaxa???? what happened to your eyes?

HUH

ITS THIS DUDE

flame reaver?? i forgor what he was called in the special program

CASTORICE??

DID TRIANNE GET HIT (that was trianne right im so sorry i cannot remember who is who)

!?!?!?!?

three slashes is enough??? to.. to kill us all??? ??????/

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

also lowering the render did not make it stop lagging during cutscenes gah..

ALSO ANAXA??? CERCES???

SHE USED THE CENTURY GATE AGAIN

TRIANNE?!??!?!?

IM NOT OVER THE DEATH FLAGS THAT THEYVE BEEN GIVING OFF FROM THE TRAILER AND ALSO THAT ONE VIDEO THAT HAD LIKE A BUNCH OF STUFF FROM AMPHOREUS CUTSCENES?/

dude u good? last i checked you were being possessed or some shit cause you had a part of a titans soul(?) in you? i already forget was it the soul the body or the coreflame? i cant remember im so sorry ill remind myself later

also actually i remember people freaking out that we touched castorice cause like her touch kills right? but we fine so huh

i doubt that we'd be unaffected considering the butterfly effect last patch that prevented us from going near her (with the exception of one instance where i could though i cant remember when)

im actually having trouble deciphering this my eyes just want to glaze over 😭

hm

trianne could totally die is the thing while still keeping the playable character 'alive' since its not. tribbie trianne and trinnon, or tribios. its just tribbie.

hello sweetie pie. youre so small 🥺

i feel like itd be cool if tribbie had outfits and it was so you could also walk around as trianne or trinnon

dont tell me you went into a hot bath in your full like.. armor. dude.

:(

oop

LMFAO YEAH DUDE DID GET IN THE BATH IN FULL ARMOR

!? WHAT HAPPENED TO TRINNON ISTG IF THEY KILL OF TRIANNE AND TRINNON AND LEAVE TRIBBIE ALONE

bruh sounded so flabbergasted LMFAO

WAIT IS THE FLAME REAVER WHATEVER THE FUCK ....!?!?!?!??! HE KILLED CYRENE??/ PHAINON GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE WE FOUND HIM also is she dead? or is she like a ghost or-- i mean we know she died we literally hvae art of her being split in two but like. it makes me wonder how she appeared in like the music video

..im assuming cyrene is referring to like elysia? tbh until they get introduced im just not gonna remember names of ppl from amphoreus

also wait does that mean that masked guy was IN the trial? like actually or a fake?

ahh so the trial we saw was mydei's.

oh god.

?? actual kidnapping? of bby?

(hesitant, sad?) 'is this.. my childhood? i dont remem--'

(happy) 'use the spindle to connect everyone!'

the whiplash between these two lines and the happy one interrupting... LMFAO

when i make tribbie run i keep expecting the run from genshin of the kiddos

WTF IS THIS NIGHTMARE SHIT ??? JUMPSCARE??

GET ME OUT OF HERE MOM IM SCARED (but its mom doing it sob) TRIBBIE EJFESUFSUJF

WHY IS IT REPEATING SUBDUED

the dolls representing them are gone

trinnon and trianne are missing

tribbie bursts into flames?

dude wtf 😭

i hit the image limit so quest description is

A dream carries us back to memories long faded by time, and this dream mirrors the profound fears within our hearts.

'you wont make it to the end. only one person can.'

STOP WITH THE DEATH FLAGS I KNOW I THINK THATLL HAPPEN BUT I DONT WANT IT TO

"All shall bid farewell to one, and that person alone will witness the miracle -" and then above it is the text but small "Only one shall live till the end, and they alone will witness Era Nova"

i hate thisss fuck

what if orynx's coreflame was taken by the flame reaver dude?

im still waiting on the longer boss fight

TRIANNE NOOO

'tribbie..' *cutscene starts to lag* 'see you tomorrow'

cant believe everything else was smooth then on triannes possible death scene it lags 💀

though ive seen it multiple times in like the trailer

i kept waiting for us to appear but no :(

okay the loading screen showing tribbie trianne and trinnon... you.

wtf? they hear trianne might be dead and they start acting up to be like okay so we dont need you chrysos heirs anymore

do you not have any respect for people what the fuck

???

to be perfectly honest ive gotten into a bunch of fandoms with frustrating characters who arent really grateful and are assholes and just a part of me kind of just wants to be like okay. you dont need us? okay then we'll just leave. bye. see what happens. oh you died too bad so sad

like idk man i have a lot of pent up anger from mdzs where i wanna be like okay you blame wwx okay then what if he doesnt lend a hand to help? oh what was that? you actually needed him to even win ??? WOW

i know theres a lot of innocent people who dont have anything to do with that who would end up getting into the crossfires too i just.

have to wonder if it is really worth it to work really hard all the time risking your life to save everyone only for when you make a mistake or god forbid die or some shit and get hit with backlash immediately like ah yes youve outlived your usefulness now go away

??

and i know its like. theyre doing it to save people. but i am not selfless man, not the type of person to be like youre such an asshole to me but id still save you 😭

dude i cant count how many times ive yawned during this idk why bruh like when i started the quest i yawned too and i just. i didnt think i was awake for that long but i guess i was wth? slipped my mind i was like before this i should take a nap beforehand so im at peak energy levels

then i just forgor to do that

phainon please dont die to protect me

oh god mydei telling phainon where his like achilles heel (weakness) is...

oh no.

LETS GO CUTSCENE NOT LAGGING AT ALL THIS TIME

fuck that attack that looks like a herta ult is so cool man wth

TRIANNE..

THEY FOUND HER BODY?? WHAT THE FUCK

oh my god

didnt expect child death in my honkai star rail

what if the prophecy is wrong

what if its not from kephale

i really doubt we can take in a coreflame

mydei taking the strife coreflame didnt change his belief just made it stronger and more blunt 💀 'like yall tradition of fighting wars and shit and throwing lives away is dumb and absurd'

i would think one would listen to the will of a god more but bruh is still in denial like dude....

im gonna crash out or something if mydei gets corrupted by like the black tide and phainon has to kill him dude. agh..

"One day you shall die with a wound on your back."

NO

NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO

LALALALA I DIDNT HEAR SHIT

'if theres a chance in the next life, you should come visit my library'

tbh getting demon slayer vibes of................... i dont really want to spoil it man 😭it made me sad

oh my god is that young mydei

he sound so baby

quest description

"I, the undying Mydeimos, the Last Prince, the new God of Strife... Now tread the blood-soaked road home."

Year 4931 of the Light Calender, Month of Balance Nikador - the Strife Titan, Lance of Fury - fell. Mydeimos, king of Kremnos, triumphed over the trial, and the new god was born. On the following day, the Kremnoan dynasty, which had lasted for a thousand years, came to an end.

'aquilaopens' missing a space id show screenshot but im image limit

oh... their mother saying she'll see tribios tomorrow or the next and the next and

trianne saying see you tomorrow..

'radiant see of flowers' i think thats meant to be sea LMFAO

Light Calender 3760, Month of Evernight "Janusopolis' Holy Maiden" Tribios bore the Coreflame to quell the world's chaos and became a demigod of Janus. She traversed the "Gate of Infinity," splitting into a thousand messengers to spread the divine prophecy across the land of Amphoreus. After a century of arduous journeying... Light Calender 3870, Month of Freedom Humanity's Flame-Chase Journey officially began.

im going to cry

OH MY GOD MARCH

i didnt manage to get a screenshot it passed by so fast and i was in shock. shes not doing well uhhhhhh shes still in bed with ice

what?? what happens to us???

??????? do we die or something wtf? how would that work huh??

its over

oh god we get a trianne avatar... oh sweet baby...

this quest was like 5 hours, though i also know i end up moving pretty fast through story (like last patch which was 10 hours i did in 7 💀 so take it with a grain of salt)

[schmidtho]

hi hello i’m coming from ben (samuelroukin) nd i was wondering if you would be willing to tell more about dookie? insane name im kind of obsessed. idk just ur little interactions i guess w him and ray got me curious. is he a cod oc? idk im just intrigued care to share more about him?

oh shit! thanks so much for being interested enough to ask about him im so flattered akdjsjjdjdkaks

and also thanks ben @samuelroukin for letting me play barbies with ray enough to get someone interested in my own boy?

second, sorry to disappoint but no, dookie is not strictly speaking a cod oc. he’s actually a marvel oc, specifically in the xmen universe, but i can and will still talk about him lol but tw for suicide sort of?

basically dookies story is that he’s a mutant but didn’t realize it for most of his life. until his entire family died and he tried to kill himself (accidentally doing so in front of his roommate but that’s like. a whole other thing i could talk about later) and then woke up, not dead, but still with the scars from what he did to himself.

obviously his like. government name isn’t dookie, but he started going by that after he woke up bc it was the last thing he said to his roommate. and he is also kind of a piece of shit.

his mutant ability is he can heal from any wound and he can’t die but everything still leaves scars. and he’s incredibly suicidal so he does kind of look like he’s been through a wood chipper.

he has a whole canon that primarily involves deadpool, but he works as a mechanic at a bar/auto shop and a vast majority of the people who meet him can’t stand him because he’s incredibly abrasive, kinda mean, and just generally annoying, but he knows no one can do anything about it bc he can’t die or even be hurt in a way that matters. basically he sucks.

also he’s trans but if you came here from the interaction w ben you probably knew that lol.

his roommate is a character that my moray eel strummer aka @faustic-trobairitz created at the same time that i created dookie and i care so much about her too. she’s also a mutant whos mentally not well for very different reasons but if you want to know more you can ask me or send and ask to strummer!

anyway.

i have thought about how i could put dookie in the cod universe if i’m being honest. i’ve oscillated between him being a bartender near the base and some kind of military mechanic, but considering both his own canon and the like. cod setting, i lean toward the latter

like maybe he works on military planes or helicopters and the like and that puts him in contact with the 141.

as far as relationships w those boys go i have opinions but since u sent this bc u saw my hypotheticals was ben’s oc ray ill say this: dookie would immediately be so fucking annoyed by him and also want to fuck him which would just piss him off more. he’s short and he’s trans and he’s full of spite and anger and meeting that cocky sonnovabitch who can’t help flirting with any and everything would likely ignite an angry horniness dookie didn’t know he had.

so yeah! feel free to send more questions about this fucko! i’ll put some sketches i’ve done of him below the cut!

[leolingo]

(long post about purgatory and meta and rp)

sigh one thing ive been thinking is that it feels a bit unfair to see so many people complaining or doomposting over how purgatory affects the overarching qsmp rp story or how it ~interrupted arcs~ or is ~disturbing current storylines~ or ~narratively unsatisfying~ like. Sure. its a bit abrupt and most players were caught off guard because lore-wise it stems from the federation which means none of them were told about anything beforehand

but... its only been three days. maybe we could have a little faith? like idk ill be soooooo out there rn and say that maybe the admins did this now for a reason. maybe itll make sense later on. we already see lore repercussions with elquackity and his motives and all the nods to the eggs.

theres fair criticism to be made (when done respectfully) if youre mainly here for the roleplay but i feel like we sometimes need to remind ourselves that the qsmp storytelling is a VERY ambitious project. lmao. imagine being the writing team and trying to wrangle 20+ characters with distinct points of view and journeys on an ever-changing story because of the very nature of live rp. its practically IMPOSSIBLE to tie up every loose end neatly and at this point i dont think we should expect that. keeping up momentum with all plotlines must also be pretty hard, cc's schedules and outside factors like server programming and building and mod tweaking and all those meta elements considered and so on and so on

i DO also want the story to move forward and be cohesive and make sense in a satisfactory way. like i really do!!!!!!! but i try to understand that thats not ALL the qsmp is about. from the start quackity said the server wouldn't be exclusive to the rp aspect. it sure is that way right now, but thats because most of the active members are VERY passionate about roleplaying. thats a good thing! they have fun and its fun to watch and the experience is mostly good for everyone because it corresponds to their expectations to an extent

the thing about purgatory is that i feel like its a lot more meta than most people doomposting realize. it ties into the story, sure, but to me it feels like the sudden switch in environment and vibes and stakes isnt actually catered to the rp and thats FINE. like thats not what it exists for and thats fineeeeeee

pac for one has said he appreciates the event for the change of pace, though its very hard (lol), because regular qsmp was starting to feel a bit stale to him and he was kind of running out of things to do. THATS A GREAT THING! managing player engagement like that is awesome and sometimes necessary. YES, purgatory caters to a very different playstyle than what we're used to -- and thats one of its strenghts.

a lot of hispanic creators have also felt this!!!! roier, rivers and carre most prominently have been VERY excited about this event because its similar in format to a lot of spanish speaking events like mc extremo and such. a lot of these players are also not particularly interested in rp-ing and had not been logging on very often prior to purgatory.

even roleplay regulars like tubbo, fit and bbh have shown interest in purgatory for the competitive nature of the setting!!! thats cool too!!!! something different, new possibilities to play around with. thats what the events should be about. kudos to the admins and dev teams for attempting it in such a big scale. their effort shows and all the mechanics weve seen are really fucking cool

i love the roleplay!!!!!! its one of my favorite parts of the qsmp!!!!!! but its not ALL there is and it shouldnt be! non rp-oriented creators are also part of the project and deserve to have a little fun too -- not to mention a big chunk of the hispanic fan community that has blown up twitter with support bc what we have rn is similar to events they already love!!!!!!! im glad to see so many of them get excited again!!!!!!

at the end of the day, qsmp is a LONG long term project, and purgatory ends in two weeks. by the time its over, we can all choose to engage with it as we wish. it can be a big filler episode in your mind, if you want. it can be just for fun..... otherwise, if its not fun, your regularly scheduled qsmp will be back soon anyway :3 its fine to not like it, its fine to have something negative to say about it if properly tagged and not like. crazy entitled or blown out of proportion for what this situation is.

i just hope we can all manage our online experiences accordingly and avoid making things less enjoyable for each other. this is supposed to be fun