schmidtho

[schmidtho]

[schmidtho]

daily affirmations

i am the unkillable faggot

i can exist in grocery stores

i have the shittiest music taste in any room

i have a gun

[schmidtho]

wait sorry idk why I thought he was former air force 💀 I think bc dookie is an airman when he could be a blue angel in the navy so he wouldn't need an oxygen mask since it gets in the way of sucking dick

I was thinking it was in the air = air force

understandable signals crossed of me having an oc who’s air force and also a former military dad lmao

[schmidtho]

ohhh that’s right just the death wounds became porcelain right. that’s why the botched mid air circumcision had to be how he died so that he’d have the porcelain foreskin. i forgor

anyway yeah there was a whole discussion ages back about ray (you know ray. he’s your oc-in-law) originally fucking a hole in a wall which then became a hole in a brick. and it just got brought back into discussion. much to my chagrin. also there’s a fic.

okay that makes sense as a dnd joke death. I thought it was like a reference to your dad being former air force

did you decided if the scar grows back or not?

dhskdhjsjs my dad isn’t even former air force he’s retired national guard lmao but im DYING to know what kind of reference you thought it was???

also i. don’t remember. at the time of the joke it was still up in the air whether or not he was circumcised in the first place (he was, at age 10 i believe?) but i don’t recall if an answer was reached re: porcelain foreskin…. i’ll have to ask @faustic-trobairitz

[schmidtho]

"let men be friends" no they have to fuck each other raw

[schmidtho]

"let men be friends" no they have to fuck each other raw

[schmidtho]

"let men be friends" no they have to fuck each other raw

[schmidtho]

"let men be friends" no they have to fuck each other raw

[schmidtho]

"let men be friends" no they have to fuck each other raw

[schmidtho]

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 1 POLL 2

PROPAGANDA:

[Buck]

"This is a man with so much love to give, and I would love to reciprocate that love, horizontally, and naked."

"First of all, he’s hot and I simply need him and I think he would look beautiful pregnant <3 Second of all Buck would love to be pregnant. Buck is good with kids and loves hanging out with them, is very involved with his niece and his best friend Eddie’s kid, and it’s very clear being a parent is a great desire for him. He had a storyline where he was a donor for one of his friends so they could have a baby and then he DELIVERED THE BABY and had to give him away, looking like his heart was tearing about it. Buck would adore the chance to carry his own little babies, to get to be a parent and to carry around the small life he helped create inside of him, to be able to protect it, he’d go to classes and yoga and just be so happy, like the definition of pregnancy glow. They’ve given Buck a lil just-born baby to hold a few times now, and he always handles them with such care and love <3 i just wish that for him! Anyway I hope this propaganda was enough to have someone who doesn’t know buck or hasn’t considered bpreg (the fandom’s term for mpreg buck, yes there is a term for it, see also: lightning womb) to at least think about it <3 have a nice day!"

"Look this man loves kids. He heard his new coworker had a child and almost immediately starting making the kids life easier and became essentially a parent to Chris. Chris deserves another sibling and Buck deserves to be pregnant. He’s got a golden retriever personality which could only be strengthened by the glow of pregnancy."

[Ghost]

"Hes a big edgy military dude who just needs to chill out and have a baby or two, those who get it get it."

[schmidtho]

dw the grussy isn't canon for ray (and he's the only freak who'd try)

i’m aware but it doesn’t make me hate it any less! just the knowledge that he would sucks enough!

[schmidtho]

okay that makes sense as a dnd joke death. I thought it was like a reference to your dad being former air force

did you decided if the scar grows back or not?

dhskdhjsjs my dad isn’t even former air force he’s retired national guard lmao but im DYING to know what kind of reference you thought it was???

also i. don’t remember. at the time of the joke it was still up in the air whether or not he was circumcised in the first place (he was, at age 10 i believe?) but i don’t recall if an answer was reached re: porcelain foreskin…. i’ll have to ask @faustic-trobairitz

[schmidtho]

disclaimer: I don't have a dick so I can't fuck a brick anyways even if I wanted to (and I do not)

i wouldn’t even sick a strap in a brick hole i’m so fr ray needs clinical help

[schmidtho]

"brick is brick" but hole is hole

not if it sucks and hurts also!!! you would never catch me sticking my dick in something that could give me micro abrasions‼️

[schmidtho]

so ben thought of a baggie with oil inside the tin foil so he's less likely to shred his thang (but that's a lot of effort)

I was thinking finding a similarly sized cylinder (lol), wrapping that in a fuckton of tin foil (less flimsy + gets the shape), and trying to not squeeze too hard during use. by "wrapping" I was thinking layering the tin foil over the cylinder, not like. crumpling it. basically going from roll (foil container) to roll (cylinder)

all of this seems like soooo much effort for something that absolutely cannot feel good. like after all that work why not just. idk hit someone up for a hookup??? why are we fucking tin foil at all??

[schmidtho]

at least the idea of the grussy is better than the idea of a tin/aluminum foil fleshlight (copious amounts of oil inside to smooth it down more than the initial smoothing)

now i do have some thoughts and some questions about the tinfoil flashlight im gonna be honest.

i’m not saying it’s not equally as upsetting! but it’s also not as straightforward to understand if you ask me!

[schmidtho]

>blog description is "botched mid-air circumcision"

>hates (the idea of) the grussy

is that really any better?

hey now. these two things are ENTIRELY unrelated! one is a joke about how i decided @faustic-trobairitz’s dnd character died before we learned how it happened (and a brief discussion of if a circumcision scar would grow back in porcelain like the rest of his scar tissue)

the other! is ray fucking a hole in a brick! willingly and on purpose!