#idk what it is because i go full zen for performing

[witch-lock]

My Brain, softly and with regret: why. did you have to choose. the most Extra song choice for your audition that consistently remains in the high belt when literally any other song in your book could show off belting without being So

Me, the one who thinks doing the Most is the only way to be considered as someone with potential and also maybe deep down is a bit of an attention heaux but more importantly someone who needs the danger of failing at the Most for adrenaline kix:

:^)

[simstationdance]

i loooove your drawings please drop that tristan legend analysis you mentioned im crazy over the handheld spinoffs <3

omg 💕 i Love talking about Tristan Legend so i’m really happy you asked... (all of my friends can attest to this i literally never shut the fuck up about him)

real talk, when i played the sims 2 gba the first time, i don't know why my brain decided to latch onto This Guy:

but it did. and so, uh... here we are sdfjhdsjfsh

this answer kinda got... long... I really hope it's good 😭

--

note: not sure how much this matters but im gonna mention it anyway - i've mostly just played the GBA game and have seen only a small portion of the DS game. thus almost all of my thoughts about tristan are derived from things he says/does in ts2 gba, more than ts2 ds. if I say something about him and it somehow turns out to be wildly incorrect bc of some obscure piece of dialogue from ts2 ds.... uhh that's why. i know he apparently used to be the uhh, the rat man. but other than that idk much of what he says in that game, if he says anything really important at all.

--

Here's my analysis / headcanon(?) / theory / whatever you wanna call it about Tristan Legend:

Tristan's bio describes him as "more handsome, more charismatic, and more talented" than anyone else on earth. That's a pretty big claim to make, and I'm not sure how much I believe him.

Don't get me wrong, I do think he's very skilled and very smart. He'd have to be, honestly, to pull off the things he does. Building entire hotel rooms in a matter of hours, and creating Optimum Alfred (and oh man do I have A Lot to say about Alfred, but this post would be too long if I included all of that here), among other things, are tasks that require a great level of skill and intelligence.

However, I get kind of a... weird vibe off of him? A vibe of ‘local man just met you, a random stranger, but he really really wants you to think he’s cool and for you to tell him so.’ He seems like the kind of person who genuinely can’t stand being considered ‘average’ or ‘ordinary,’ and would rather others see him for his feats of strength and skill more than anything else.

As a result, he’s resorted to going to extremes in an effort to prove something to himself and/or other people. To prove to others that he really is ‘more handsome, more charismatic, and more talented than anyone else on earth,’ that he’s... well, a Legend. Because otherwise, who is he and what is he really worth?

I'm not sure how to explain what I mean any better than that, but I'll try.

So, in the episode 'What Digs Beneath,' when you encounter Tristan in the saloon, he says this and nothing else:

“Sometimes when I see a tornado or a big sand storm, I just walk right up to it and stand in the center. That’s what I call the “Zen Zone.” It eases my mind.”

In the episode 'Aliens Arrived', the next time you see him (in the barn), he says this, once again followed by nothing else:

"Sometimes I volunteer for scientific experiments for a little extra cash... especially when it involves an explosion. Those pay extra.”

In these first few episodes, you're still technically new in town, and so - rather than introduce himself, or even say hello to you when you come to talk to him - the very first (real) impression that Tristan seems determined to make on you is that he's this Super Cool Guy who performs wild-sounding stunts like meditating in sandstorms, and that he does impressive things like volunteering for scientific experiments ~with explosions~.

All things considered, I actually do believe him when he says he's done these things - because I feel like Tristan is determined and unhinged enough to actually do all of that, or at least try. You know, just to prove that he can. Just to have something to talk about. To show to others and be like, ‘Isn’t that neat? Am I cool now?’

--

I feel like his desperate urge to impress people comes out in full force in the episode ‘The New Scent.’ Understandably so, I suppose, because he wants to impress a woman, Kayleigh Wintercrest (because her perfume is driving the boys wild... uh, literally).

But Tristan Legend is not one for half measures, and Kayleigh is notoriously difficult to win over. So he decides the best option is a romantic horseback ride. And he decides “I’ll impress her by telling her I tamed them myself,” so he goes out and... actually tames some wild horses.

“All women like horses, that’s a fact.” Hmmmm.

I don’t know about you but this sounds, to me, less like he’s stating a fact, and more like he’s been reading articles in magazines about generalized dating advice, just hoping he’s gonna get this right.

In this same episode, the player is tasked with sabotaging the efforts of all the other men trying to woo Kayleigh by the mayor, who also wants to woo Kayleigh. In this case, Giuseppi is cleaning manure out of a barn so that Tristan can keep the horses somewhere before the date. The player sabotages this by filling the barn with even more shit than before. uh... yeah.

Tristan’s reaction to sight of this sent me into orbit and still lives in my brain to this day.

”You won’t believe your eyes, Mr. Legend. I cleaned up the place real good! Spotless, every nook and cranny.” ”I told you it was fun, didn’t I?” ”You sure did, Mr.--” [Tristan and Giuseppi find the barn filled with manure again.] ”GAH! W-what happened here! This place is a mess! It’s awful!” ”...You seem to have lied to me, Giuseppi.” ”N-no, Mr. Legend... good grief, I KNOW I cleaned this place!” ”I don’t think there’s any time left to clean it before Kayleigh arrives.” ”Aw geez, I am so sorry Mr. Legend. I feel so bad.” “But there IS time to throw you from a moving train. C’mon. Let’s go. It’ll be even more fun.” “Oh thank you for this opportunity Mr. Legend. Really, I mean it.” [Tristan and Giuseppi walk off screen]

His reaction to losing his chance with Kayleigh Wintercrest is to talk about throwing a guy off of a moving train with a big smile on his face. This, uh, feels like a... mild... overreaction.

This man has problems.

--

Anyway. So, the rest of his bio ("Not much is known about the infamous Tristan Legend...") implies that he doesn't talk much - and not just to you, but to anybody - about other areas of his life that don't directly pertain to his outrageous stunts and interesting hobbies.

And this appears to be true, as every chance the player has to speak to him during the game (from what I can remember / have seen, at least), he doesn't have very much to say, and doesn't seem especially interested in telling you too much about himself. Which is valid, considering you kinda just showed up, but it’s more the fact that no one in Strangetown seems to know very much about him to the point where it becomes a feature of his in-game biography that piques my interest.

In the final episode, 'It All Came to An End', the most information he gives about his past in this case is the fact that he built Optimum Alfred when he was five years old. And he doesn’t seem very interested in talking about that. His attitude towards Alfred’s existence in general feels like... “yeah I built a highly advanced robot when I was five, so what? Who cares about that? Wanna hear about how I base jumped off of an erupting volcano instead?” or whatever.

(The word 'infamous' in his bio would also imply that he's known for having done something Bad, but even to this day, people have a tendency to think 'infamous' is synonymous with 'famous' when it isn't. I don’t know what Tristan could possibly have done to become ‘infamous’, so I'm going to let that slide.)

When he appears in episodes where he isn't plot-relevant, he says similar things to what he says in the second and third S1 episodes, or things that have something to do with the plot of the episode itself, and otherwise just hangs around.

--

Or, in one earlier case, he talks about killing giant scorpions. Because, in the sims 2 DS, it’s revealed that they took off with his girlfriend. This is one of the few personal things he tells you about himself in that game, to my knowledge.

“If you see any giant scorpions out here, let me know. I think I killed all of them, but I can’t be certain.”

This is the first, and only, thing he says to you in the episode ‘Buried By The Mob’. You can just walk up to him and he’ll say That, and if it wasn’t for the relationships menu you probably wouldn’t even know who he is.

(I have heard that people are unsure(?) whether the sims 2 ds is a prequel or a sequel to the sims 2 gba. I honestly don’t know either way. If ds is a prequel, then this line becomes deeply upsetting. If ds a sequel, then this line becomes deeply upsetting in a... slightly different way.)

--

So, tl;dr:

In my eyes, Tristan Legend really seems like the kind of person who - while genuinely very cool all on his own, and surprisingly good at just about anything he tries - feels like just being 'cool' on its' own isn’t enough. He can't just settle for that and call it a day, he wants to be Number One.

So, he will go to any lengths to achieve the ideal of being The Coolest Person On Earth, keeping everything else of a more personal nature to himself, left mostly up to the imagination. He’d rather be defined by his Risky Achievements and his Impeccable Talents than anything else.

(He also does not seem to take ‘losing’ very well at all.)

But that's just the vibes he gives off to me. I definitely have more to say about the man the myth the (tristan) legend, but this post is long enough as it is i think. I also tried to keep it to just analysis of what’s presented in the game, i didn’t want to go too far into wild speculation and headcanon territory bc i was worried it would seem... weird...? i literally have terminal 7 brain rot over this obscure pixel man help

[arigatouiris]

an obscure evening — h.o

Author’s Note: I’ve never written for Harrison before and honestly idek if this is how he is in real life but I can’t picture him in any other way for some reason and I think this personality is so attractive and like, I do believe he’s reached zen or something like that. Tell me what ya’ll think~

Word count: 3431

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x F!Reader

Warnings: Fluff (tooth-rotting kind), some crack? idk

❝

If anything, Harrison Osterfield wasn’t one to believe in obscure love stories. His mind had already reached zen, his composure not fitted with any other sort of trauma, Harrison walked the earth as if his feet kissed the ground; that was all there was to it. No mind on earth could enjoy only happy thoughts—it was when the mind accepts every kind of thought there was, did it truly achieve zen. 

Harrison sat thinking this when he was breaking up with his then-girlfriend. 

     “W-What? Are you bored with me?”

He didn’t have it in him to be rude, but there it was. His eyes reached hers, and his smile turned crooked just a little bit, his eyes narrowed, just a little bit; it was as if he felt terrible for going out with her in the first place, but this was not out of pity or any sort of false promise that Harrison made. In fact, he was one of the most honest people in the world, and that was perhaps why he was currently breaking up with this girl whose name does not really matter to this story.

     “I only see things differently than you do, love,” Harrison said, smiling at her now, carefully treading on a path most drown at.

     “Different?”

He nodded once before continuing, “See, it’s like this. I’m not going to say the old ‘it’s me not you’ line to you. I am pretty sure the guy or girl out there for you is not someone who can’t even enjoy pizza and burgers with you.”

Perhaps, it was the way he said it that made her laugh a bit. 

     “You really don’t like junk food?”

Harrison shook his head, knowing his mission was a success. 

     “I really don’t.” 

The girl then leaned back and accepted the breakup rather well. However, the one that it affected most was Harrison himself.

That was the thing with Harrison ‘Haz’ Osterfield; he was far too understanding and perceptive for his own good. People, most often than not, fell under his predictions, not surprising him pleasantly, often leaning forward because he was influential and Tom Holland’s best friend. Unfortunately, most of the population knew him only because of Tom, and while he didn’t really mind being known as Tom’s best friend, it bothered him sometimes that this was all he was. 

Compared to Tom, Harrison had other special skills. He understood people better than Tom did, his calculations and predictions on people’s personalities and behavior were top-notch, and there was almost nothing that could surprise him. It was in fact both a blessing and a curse, for Harrison knew that if nothing surprised him then all he could be was bored. 

After breaking up with the fourth girl in six months, Harrison took a walk home. He had to take the tube, but that didn’t matter. Walking often made Harrison meet with certain characters that he otherwise didn’t have the luxury to find, and this was all that made the walk worth it. He’d observe mothers with their children when he was in the tube, he’d observe teenage boys and girls as they chatted with one another—comparing it to the things he would chat about when he was a teenager. The generational gap often startled him, but it also filled him with a weird sense of pride. All of this observing went unnoticed, but even then there was almost nothing out there that even came close to surprising him. 

His phone rang all of a sudden and he knew right away who it was.

     “What’s up, Tom?”

     “Did you do it?”

Harrison chuckled. “Yeah... As selfish as it sounds, she really wasn’t passionate about anything, mate. Anything except junk food, I suppose.” 

There was nothing Tom could say. Harrison’s bad luck with dating wasn’t anything new. He never really had any luck from the start—even in acting school. And as Tom knew from Harrison himself, it wasn’t better even in school. The one girl Harrison had a crush on in school turned him down, and the second that happened, he understood that there was something else about her that wouldn’t have satisfied him. It was merely the idea of how unattainable she was, and once that was cleared, there was nothing interesting about her.

He hated how his mind thought sometimes, but he had come to accept this as well. He was over-calculative, analytical, and very, very smart. It wasn’t always a great thing.

While he was talking to Tom on the phone, however, there was a light sound of music that his ears picked up. A soothing song, a song he had heard elsewhere in a different light but was now playing back to him in a rather different manner.  He felt breathless, almost—not sure if the singing was from the radio or if it was live. Before he could think, Harrison found his feet moving toward the sound, like gravity was pulling him there—leading him to a place where something finally would surprise him. 

And then he saw her. 

He listened wide-eyed, stupid. Glowing by her voice in the dim light of the underground station. If chocolate was a sound, it would've been her voice singing. If singing was a color, it would've been the color of that chocolate. She wore a light blue sweatshirt rolled up to her elbows, holding a guitar connected to an amplifier, a beanie covering her (h/c) hair and track pants. However, there was nothing more gorgeous than the sight of her smile, singing words that sounded like rhythmic honey, to a crowd that barely paid any attention to her.

     “Haz? You there?”

He didn’t think twice before cutting the call and watching her, admiring her, listening to her. He took a breath in and realized he was holding his breath till now, feeling a tad bit stupid. 

He was just thinking of it; he was thinking of how unlucky he was that nothing, almost nothing, surprised him in his life. Tom had come in like a whirlwind but sometimes, his quirkiness came with distance, and he was not someone Haz could call his own. Date after date, girl after girl, felt more a stranger when he broke up with them—feeling more of a stranger himself. And how strange it was that all it took for him to feel surprised was a stranger singing in a subway station?

Right then, if she were oxygen, Harrison was dying to breathe. 

When the song ended, only Harrison was near her. There was a smile stuck to his face, his eyes glued to her form, as she carefully detached the guitar from the amp and started setting things inside. Harrison walked over to her, feeling a tad bit nervous, before finding the right words to say. Just as he was about to open his mouth, he found that words had left him on his own.

     “I... I’m sorry, I... It’s as if you sang a song I’d heard when I was a child but forgot I knew until I heard it again.”

She giggled a second later before saying, “That’s very kind of you, but it was Train’s ‘Soul Sister’. I’m sure you’ve heard that song.”

Harrison chuckled before she began to fumble, “O-Oh! You haven’t? I-I’m so sorry, I only meant—”

     “No, no. Your singing was so good that the song felt like home. I didn’t have the right words there, sorry.”

Her eyes widened a bit before she made an awkward ‘o’ with her mouth. Giggling, she rubbed the back of her neck before grinning cheekily.

     “Thank you.” She said, bashfully.

Harrison chuckled, “For a performer, you’re quite shy when it comes to compliments.”

     “That’s because I barely get any. I don’t sing any originals, really. I just... do this as a pass-time. And I don’t even perform in one place, so... It can get a bit hard to follow.”

     “You deserve the praise. Oh, and here,” Harrison handed her a 20-pound bill. “For your beautiful singing.”

     “Oh my! I—I don’t take... I don’t—” She composed herself a second later before clearing her throat and continuing, “I won’t accept! I do this for fun, good sir!”

Harrison’s eyes widened. For someone so observant, he had barely noticed that there was no upturned cap or a bowl placed for money. He bashfully placed the money back into his pocket before muttering a soft apology. The girl turned around and placed everything in the bag before looking like she was ready to leave. 

     “My name’s [y/n], by the way. And thank you. Really. Compliments are really nice when they do come around. Especially from handsome men like you.” 

Harrison smiled at her before feeling his heartbeat accelerate. He noticed her reach forward to shake his hand. He mimicked the gesture and shook hers.

     “Harrison Osterfield. And don’t thank me for the compliments, that kind of defeats the purpose.”

And when she giggled, Harrison swore he felt butterflies.

     “Um, do you have somewhere to be?” She asked, tilting her head a bit.

     “Actually, no. I was just...” Harrison didn’t know what to say, “I was returning from meeting a friend. Why do you ask?”

     “O-Oh! Nothing, really,” She was bashful again. “I was just—okay, here goes. I was going to perform a song near the park. I have a very special audience and I have a feeling they’ll really like it if you came.”

Harrison chuckled. 

     “Me? Without knowing who I am?”

Sure, it hurt a bit that she didn’t recognize him. But, at least she didn’t burst out and call him ‘Oh, you’re Tom Holland’s best friend!’ And now, he was more curious about the audience she was talking about. 

She nodded vigorously before saying, “Don’t worry. They don’t need any other information other than your presence. Like I said, a very special audience.”

     “In the park?” Harrison asked, smiling a bit.

     “In the park.” She confirmed. 

He tagged along because he had nothing to lose, but actually, Harrison liked the adrenaline that it gave him. A whole life he spent predicting, calculating, learning—here was a girl who so effortlessly surprised him with every step she took. It was like she was meant to surprise him with everything. Especially the way he found her.

     “So, do you sing full-time?” Haz asked once they were inside the tube.

     “No, no. I’m in college. I really shouldn’t be spending my weekends here, but most people find solace in drinks and socializing and I... I have my hobbies.”

Harrison smiled, “It’s a good one, really. I’m glad I got to hear you sing.”

     “Oh, stop! You’re making me awkward.”

     “More than you already are?”

She giggled after that. Harrison stopped and thought about it, though. Her flaw had somehow become part of her charm; and here she was, with effortless mastery, proving to him time and time again that it was okay to be calculative and the way he was because she came along and changed everything in one breath.

In fifteen minutes, Harrison had learned she had a cat named Aziraphale (he assumed she loved the show), she had not yet watched a single Marvel movie because she prefers binging them like she did with Star Wars. He had learned that she didn’t have many friends but a thousand friends on the internet that she trusted with her life. And he had also learned that he no longer believed that he did not believe in obscure love stories. Every word that came out of her mouth sounded like a melody made just for him, but Harrison said nothing.

She was not made for him, no. She was her own person. And what a beautiful person she was.

     “I can’t wait for your show to come out.” She said as they got out of the tube.

Harrison’s eyes widened, and his heart almost stopped. 

     “W-What?”

     “Harrison Osterfield? The actor? Honestly, I thought you’d be a snob or something considering there’s a huge poster of you outside my dorm room. I had to look you up after that. And then I saw the show you were working on and it sounded incredible, so I’m looking forward to it.”

He couldn’t believe it. Not once in that sentence did she mention Tom. She knew him for him, and there was nothing more or nothing less. A mere billboard and a bit of Google had sent him right to her.

     “So you knew me?”

     “Oh, of course not. I knew of you. I’d...” She looked away before saying, “I’d like to know you, though. You seem like a nice guy,”

Before he could say anything, she brushed it off.

     “But, who am I kidding? Heh. This is all too surreal.”

It is, he thought before grinning to himself. His eyes shifted to her free hand beside his and thought once more, it is surreal.

When they reached the park, it was already twilight. Harrison’s heart was full. Harrison couldn’t remember the last time he felt this happy, especially with a stranger. It was a strange lie we feed ourselves most of the time—perhaps, because of the dying kindness in the world, set to enslave us in our own thoughts; we lie to ourselves saying the world is devoid of kindness and there can be no such thing has an instant connection. The idea of an instant connection seemed so surreal to Harrison that it didn’t even occur to him as a possibility in his life, as it doesn’t occur in ours. For those it does occur to, they are branded as hopeless romantics. 

For the first time in his life, Harrison wondered, ‘When did cynicism become normal?’ He turned to face (y/n), who had an awkward smile on her face as she was talking about some movie she really liked, and he felt his chest constrict. It was equally uncomfortable and warm, a wistful ache that lets you know you’re feeling. 

The two of them walked inside the park, somewhere in the middle, and noticed a group of older people sitting near the benches. The twilight made it a bit hard to see their faces, but they could somehow see him and (y/n). She made a whale noise upon seeing them, something that made him chuckle a bit, causing her to hit him playfully on his arm. 

     “Guys, this is Harrison, he’s here to watch me play! Can you believe it? My very own celeb audience!” 

One of the older men grinned before saying, “What a sharp young lad.”

Harrison smiled at all of them, now that he was closer he could see that there were around 8 of them sitting together, near each other. (y/n) turned to look at Haz and then grinned widely, shooting his heart to the skies.

     “Aren’t you going to introduce us, (y/n)?” One of the older women asked, with a soft smile.

     “Oh, right. Harrison, this lovely group is from the Cheshire Community.”

Harrison’s eyes almost widened; he knew what the Cheshire Community was. Senior citizens with no homes to go to would end up at Cheshire’s, and while his impression was that people in old age homes were sad and lonely, here was a group that showed him they were smiling despite it all. There was no room for pity, they looked genuinely happy.

A second later, (y/n) stood in front of them and unpacked. She was setting up her entire system while the group chatted amongst themselves. Silence was an odd thing, he thought because it communicated more than words sometimes. He watched as she giggled at some snarky comments some of the members of the group made, and his heart warmed at the sight. Did she have a relative here? Did she know any of them personally? Does she play for them often? What does she like? What food does she like? What are her favorite things?

His eyes widened as he watched her; he couldn’t believe it. For years, Harrison went looking for passion, bridled in people, making them do irrational things, but alongside this hunt, he would tell himself that it was impossible to find anyone of the sort. And just when he was getting used to the idea of mediocrity, he met her. 

When she started to sing, Harrison wondered if his smile was as big as hers. Maybe, it could be as big but definitely not as beautiful. The way she sang carried him away. It was a familiar song, the lyrics of which were sung by countless before her, but it was beautiful. Beautiful songs could sometimes take a person out of themselves and carry them away to a place of magic. But when (y/n) sang, it was not about the song, really. Harrison believed she could sing the phone book or even an instruction manual. He knew right then that whatever she sang, whatever the words or the tune, would be so beautiful, so achingly lovely, that no one could listen and be untouched.

When the singing stopped and it was time for them to return, he understood why she was doing this. It was a simple thing, and he couldn’t believe people never thought of simple things.

She sang for them. Because they indeed were lonely, but for a day, for a few minutes, they could forget all fo that because (y/n) was singing for them.

After packing things and saying her goodbyes to them for the night, she skipped to where Harrison sat and sat down beside him, grinning.

     “Seems like I’ve wasted your entire night.” 

Harrison only could scoff. “I wouldn’t ever call a night such as this ‘wasted’,” He turned to look at her with as soft eyes as he could manifest, “This is anything but wasted.”

She blinked a couple of times but her gaze was firmly fixed at his eyes.

     “It’s very strange,” She said, almost a whisper, “How real you are.”

He scrunched up his face with confusion, “Real?”

     “Wrong word,” She scolded herself before shaking her head, “Em... I’d say, normal.”

He felt a pang of hurt hit his chest but he waited. There was something about the way she said it that made it seem ethereal. 

     “Normal sounds... boring.”

She giggled at his reply, “It’s anything but! I don’t really know when it became a crime to be ‘normal’. People look down on normal as if it’s a bad thing, but really, normal is where we need to be. We’re all in search of something so we do these silly things to keep us occupied from ourselves. Take me for example, I can’t be by myself for even a second and there you are, making it seem like it’s the simplest thing in the world! For that kind of solitude to grow on me, as if it’s a normal thing, I think... I don’t think it’s possible at all.”

Harrison’s eyes widened. 

     “You’re perhaps the first person who’s made normal sound fancy.”

Taking a leap of faith, she leaned her head on his shoulder, “Normal is the fancy, pretty boy. Nothing beats it.”

You do, he thought resisting the urge to kiss her head. She smelt like vanilla and blueberries—and also rust and earth. Suddenly, she looked up and stared at him before turning away, clearing her throat.

     “I’d like to see you again, (y/n),” Harrison let out, unable to hold it in any longer. “I’d like to see you again a lot.”

     “I’d like to see you again too, Harrison.” She said, giggling, taking his hand in hers, and entwining their fingers.

     “To think this is happening after a weird break up.” He mumbled and instantly heard a gasp from her side.

     “Was it sad?”

     “It was... without emotion.” Harrison made a face.

She tightened her grip on his fingers and scooched over closer to him. He noticed the sudden closeness and his face felt warmer by the second. Passion drove him nuts but here she was making passion seem like a desperate school kid.

If every word she said was a rocket, nothing had made him fly like the ones she said next.

     “What will you do if I kiss you, Harrison Osterfield?” Her voice was a merry whisper, loud but careful, bouncing around the silence in the air as if it owned everything in the world.

He chuckled, leaning forward, their noses almost touching. 

     “Why,” His lips grazed over hers, “I’d kiss you back.”

If anything, Harrison Osterfield wasn’t one to believe in obscure love stories. And perhaps, it was because he didn’t believe in one did it happen so strongly to him. Not that he complained. 

❞

[choisgirls]

Alright Hailey, was just listening to Smooth ft Rob Thomas by Santana (pure classic &asexual 👌)idk you take prompts now but here's the scenario/headcanon. MC is a professional dancer (who's a regularly participants in international dance sport) RFA members (including V & Saeran) walk in seeing their s/o wear a bright red dress with high heels (or MC's a guy who's in his black dance wear) dancing Cha Cha to the song ;D

A/N: my friEND SMOOTHIS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS AND HAS BEEN SINCE I WAS A KID AND I JUST- HHHNNNNjust know that im singing this song the whole time~ ~Admin 404

I’m just gonna spin awheel and let it decide whose MC is female and whose MC is male~

*YOOSUNG: (Male!MC)

               -Where did you go some nights?

               -You promised to play some LOLOLwith him and the guild but you would… disappear? And when you came back youwere always extremely sweaty and that concerned him

               -OH NO YOU WEREN’T CHEATING ONHIM, WERE YOU MC?!?!

               -P A N I C

               -He followed you one day to findout the Truth™, Detective Yoosung on the case!

               -You went to this studio typebuilding, he slipped in behind you and went into hiding behind some curtains, watchingto see where you went. It looked like some sort of dance floor, there werespeakers around the room, with a phone plugged in via aux chord. Some olderwoman walked out onto the floor in some heels, tapping one of them inimpatience

               -“MC! If you expect to winat this upcoming competition, I suggest you hurry out here so we canpractice!” she called as you walked into the room in a sharp suit. Yoosunghad to physically cover his mouth to stop him from gasping. A blush crept acrosshis face because you looked amazing dressed up like that- it was a differentlook from your casual attire, but he loved both!

               -The guitar riffs bounced offthe walls as you and your partner make your way around the room, her heelsclicking against the floor, as the both of you danced to the beat, hand in handbefore breaking away to dance side by side

               -When you turned to face thesame direction he was in, he couldn’t stop himself from coming out of hidingwith a huge smile on his face. His laughter and cheering was loud enough tohear over the music, causing you to stop in your tracks and your partner raninto the side of you

               -You paused the music as Yoosungapologized profusely  for ruining yourpractice, he just couldn’t believe how good you were? He had never learneddance moves like this and he thought they were really cool! The shy blush onyour face told him you just felt embarrassed to confess about it to him and hewas okay with it- he forgave you! Your partner told him about the latest dancecompetition and how the two of you were going to compete with that routine andhis smile lit up! He vowed to be your number one fan, and to be the loudest onethere, cheering for the both of you, because he cannot imagine the amount oftalent and work that goes into learning the routine and he was definitely readyto support you from then on!

*ZEN: (Female!MC)

               -He wanted to learn a fewdifferent dances so he could add them to his resume, you know, spice it up abit!

               -He asked a friend to set him upwith a great dance instructor, but not just /any/ instructor

               -So, one of his other acting buddiesdecided to take him to the national dance competition, so he could scope outhis own instructor or catch a glance at the one they were going to suggest

               -“No, no, no, none of theseare dazzling enough… I need to learn something that can really woweveryone!”

               -He was looking for somethingfun, something fast-paced but slow just when needed… something sexy, likehim!

               -The main dance floor caught hiseye, listening as the announcement of the national champions entering the roomblared over the speaker.

               -A familiar song started toplay, he watched as a sharp dressed man made his way expertly across the floor,holding his hand out for his partner to join in

               -From the corner of his eye, Zenwatched as a woman practically floated across the wooden floor, meeting withher partner and stepping in time together. Their movements fast and precise, hecould definitely see why they were the national champions. They moved so quicklyhe couldn’t catch the woman’s face. Her hair reminded him of yours… in fact,a lot of this woman reminded him of you?

               -You and your partner had yourgrand finale- your body now facing Zen head on so he can get a clear look atyou. After taking in the fact that, holy shit that is HIS MC out there on thatdance floor, he is immediately taking in your outfit. Bright red, body-formingdress paired with shiny pumps, you were looking sexy and bright- he was meltingjust looking at you. But he’s trying to wrap his head around the fact thatyou… were a national dance champion. You, his beautiful MC…. the both ofyou were now The Amazing Performing Duo™!!!!

               -He ran up to you as you wereleaving the floor, he actually scared the hell out of you and you were ready todig that high heel of yours into his leg- until you saw that it was really himthat is. You listened, watching as his eyes gleamed with excitement and hislips move a mile a minute- compliment after compliment, his surprise imminentin his body language. You promised to teach him everything you knew, so long ashe was committed to the hard work, which of course he was!

*JAEHEE: (Female!MC)

               -After a long day at work, shecouldn’t wait to come home and see you!

               -There was music blaring beforeshe even opened the front door, and she was curious as to what you were doing

               -She recognized the song as oneyou’ve been listening to for a few weeks at a time on repeat. But why? Sure, itwas a good song, but you seemed to always be lost in thought when you had iton, almost as if you were analyzing each and every part of it

               -And now she would find out why

               -With your high heels clickingacross the floor, your red dress moving and flowing to the rhythm of your hips,she was captivated with not only your appearance, but the determination in yourface as you plan and organize every movement in time with the song’s beat

               -The way your hair bouncedaround, always a step behind you, it framing your face at the most beautifultimes- she was dazzled and couldn’t look away. You looked as if you were anexpert- which you were

               -She dropped all her paperworkwhen you were finished just so she could clap like crazy, letting you know ofher presence and her absolute thrill!

               -Couldn’t stop herself fromtalking nonstop, mumbling and blushing, trying to get out the words andquestions she had about how you learned to dance like that

               -You told her you had grown updoing it! You usually had a partner and would attend competitions, but youhaven’t performed in years and had just wanted to get back into it

               -Which she was 100% for! You canbet your sweet ass she’s there every time you practice, signing you up forcompetitions, helping you pick new music and piece together routines. Her loveis in performing arts!!! She’s so excited!

*JUMIN: (Male!MC)

               -Another day another importantbusiness party

               -He hates coming to these thingsbut knows for the sake of his company, he has to attend

               -So now he just makes you go aswell! “MC, I don’t want to suffer through these alone anymore. Now I haveyou to keep me compan- MC get back out here you can’t just hide in thebedroom!”

               -After being dragged againstyour will arriving at the party, there were many eyes on the two of you themoment you entered the room

               -Jumin tried to reassure youthat it’s common, and they could stare all they wanted since their gazes meantnothing to him

               -Nervous laughter bubbled upfrom the back of your throat as you nodded in agreement, knowing full well thatthey were staring at you for other reasons you have yet to tell your boyfriend

               -Later into the evening, the twoof you had been separated and were wrapped up into different conversations. Theman talking to him kept complimenting him for “catching” you, asking howwell he was able to keep up? He kept calling you a “firecracker”?What in the world was he talking about?

               -The man pulled up a video fromonline from last year’s national dancing competition, and staring at him fromthe small screen was your bright smile in a dazzling black suit and tie,holding your partners hand in the air. He watched as your intricate foot worktook the dance floor, spinning your partner around, stepping in time with eachother and shaking your hips faster than he’s ever seen you move

               -He was conflicted. He wanted tosit and watch your body move so fluidly over and over again. Yet, he alsowanted to remove all versions of this video because he didn’t want anyone elseto see how majestic, amazing, and sexy you were. He wanted all of you all tohimself, dance moves and everything

               -You jumped when you felt hisbreath against the back of your ear, he was whispering soft words of love andraspy sexual innuendos about Cha-cha-ing with him in bed later that night whichmade your face turn as red as the vest you wore in that dance video

*SAEYOUNG: (Male!MC)

               -He’s already seen your videoonline!!!

               -Has practiced alone in his roomfor /such/ a long time before he actually got a chance to meet you in person

               -The two of you are constantlydancing with each other around the house, nothing too fancy

               -He’s always telling you howhe’s in love with how you move and how handsome you look in your dance outfits

               -The little brat throws himselfacross any and every object in exasperation at how sexy you are

               -/Totally not constantly askingyou to show him the way your hips move in bed?? What are you talking about???/

               -You’ve noticed he’s been tryingto copy a few of your old partners moves to the song Smooth, and you decided toplan a surprise for him!

               -You left a gift for him on thebed. A stunning red dress with a wig and high heels lay in wait for him tochange into while music played softly in the living room. Once changed, he cameout to find all of the furniture pushed to the walls of the room, stacked infront of the hallway, anywhere to be out of the way. He could hear the softbeat of the song playing from a nearby speaker and he couldn’t keep his smileoff his face

               -He kept up surprisingly well!He had studied very hard, because he wanted to be a worthy partner! There weremoments where you had dipped him and he found himself losing himself in youreyes and how amazing you looked in your sharp suit, but he had to snap himselfout of it so he could focus on showing you his skills! With the final move, he leanedin close to your face, ready to plant a kiss on you when Saeran’s voice brokeyou two out of your dancing spell

               -“HEY WHY IS THE FURNITUREPILED IN THE HALLWAY? CAN THE TWO OF YOU STOP FUCKING AND LET ME OUT OF MYGODDAMN ROOM????”

*DADDV: (Female!MC)

               -You’ve always attended all ofhis photo galleries so of course he would support you in whatever you wanted todo!

               -The moment you told him thatyou were a national champion in dancing, he was ecstatic!

               -You were in the arts and he wasexcited about it! Even if it was a different kind of art, it was still socreative and beautiful, and he thought it said a lot about you

               -So he asked to photography youat your latest competition!

               -He set up multiple cameras torecord and take rapid shots as he got ready to take some closer ones with hishandheld one

               -You and your partner had pickedsuch a great song, he was moving around to it himself, so he definitelycouldn’t wait to see how fluidly and gracefully your body would move

               -The way your hair and dressseemed to move together, flowing behind you. The way your hips moved in timewith your high heeled clad feet- everything captivated him. He was afraid hewas going to forget to take photos

               -Some of the shots he got weremesmerizing. He thought you looked like an absolute goddess. It was almost asif your red dress acted as your wings- every time you twisted or spun aroundthe bottom would fan out and he was sure to get many pictures of it

               -His next gallery was sure to befull of the shots he got of you at just this competition. He couldn’t wait tofollow you to each and every one from now on

               -Was sure to ask you to have aprivate lesson at home so he could get intimate photos of the two of youbonding over something so beautiful- something that embodied you in everyperfect way he could think of

*SAERAN: (Female!MC)

               -I hardcore believe that heloves this song and its one of his top 5’s

               -So when he hears it playing inthe living room, he practically runs from the bedroom to peek around the corner

               -He has to make sure it wasn’this brother playing it just to get him to come out, after all!

               -But what he saw was definitelynot his brother- he can tell your body from a mile away

               -And your body was clad with abright, body-con, red dress paired with some killer heels

               -Couldn’t help but stare, notjust because he loved your outfit, but because he loved the way your bodyseemed to be moving

               -The way your hips moved, theway you could twist and spin your body, it was all amazing…

               -He didn’t know you could movelike that?? So gracefully, so quickly, so… sexually?

               -Watches you until the song’sover. Afterwards, he’s asking you to do it again and again. He wants to watchand study every single movement your body makes. He wants to memorizeeverything from the curve of your hips to the toes of your heels that hover halfan inch off the floor. Videos of past dance competitions are played on repeat,notes and screenshots scattered about the floor. You would think he was creepyand obsessed with you but in reality, all of the notes were about the dancemoves instead? Was he trying to learn how the moves worked?

               -That is indeed what he wasdoing. You walk in on him one day attempting to recreate your moves in more ofa leading man’s way. You couldn’t help but smile at his dedication and at howcute he was trying to do this all on his own instead of just asking you tohelp. The moment he feels your presence though, he’s a blushing, stutteringmess and has to push you out of the room to calm down, constantly denying thathe was doing anything

Masterlist

[thirstyfortom]

How would RFA + Saeran react to MC coming home late and she wasn't able to text them (maybe he phone died idk) and she accidentally scared them because she had a face full of stage make up because she's a professional ballet dancer? Maybe she was understudying a role and the dancer she was understudying got injured last minute?

Hope you like it! ^^

MC coming home very late and with odd make up

Zen

He was pretty late himself for the little dinner you two were planning

He spent all the way from rehearsal to his house working on a proper apology “Maybe if I just smile and call her ‘babe’, she’ll forgive me…”

“Hey, babe! You look lovely ton…” he came in saying this out loud, but stopped when he noticed you weren’t there.

Of course he got desperate when you weren’t picking up your phone, all the thoughts about that guy in Rika’s apartment taking over his head. No… this wasn’t happening! He knew he should never leave you alone again…

He made a big fuss in the messenger, Seven was looking for you while Jumin was already giving instructions to his bodyguards and preparing the chopper.

You came home exhausted, it’s been a while since you actually replace someone in a performance… you never even wanted to wipe off the make up in the theatre.

Well, dinner was ruined, you just hoped Zen didn’t wait for you woke up… well, of course he did, your phone died and you couldn’t even text him, he must be worried as shit.

“MC? WHERE WERE YOU? ARE YOU HURT? DID YOU GET A CHANCE TO KNOW HIS NAME? WHAT HAVE HE DONE TO YOU? DID HE DO THIS TO YOUR FACE? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, BY THE WAY?” okay, you knew he was worried, but not on this level.

You explained everything to him and you could see him trying to hide in embarrassment from all his thoughts, it got even worse when he had to call Seven and Jumin.

When everything was clear, you two laughed and he helped you wiping off the makeup. “Make sure to have your phone charged and give a me heads up when you perform, I’ll take the day off to watch you.”

Yoosung

He may have lost track of time a little when he buried his mind in the studies.

But he was pretty sure you were kinda late by now…oh! Look at the time, you’re really late!

He looked for his phone (he got that little habit from you of putting his phone as far as he could so he wouldn’t get distracted) to check on you, no texts or calls for you and no answer when he texted and called.

Well… shit!

“Heeeyyy, did anybody heard from MC?” he tried to don’t come off as terrified as he was in the messenger. “You tell me. Aren’t you her boyfriend, dude?” Zen asked, well, his bitterness was useless as always…

Okay, this poor thing was getting ready to go after you that late in the night. He could have called Seven, but he wanted to do this alone (Zen’s words got him more that he would matter to admit…)

He opened the door, only to find you trying to get the right key in the lock, you both yelped, scared.

“Yoosung, what are you doing woke this late?” “MC, what happened to you?” you were both staring at each other as you two were criminals getting caught.

You explained everything about being called last minute when you just put your phone to recharge and that make up being part of the number.

He sighed in relief: “I was about to go look for you, MC!” “Really? How brave of you! You deserve a prize after I take this off.” He got so excited he wouldn’t really mind the makeup…

Jaehee

You were at the café working when you got the call

Of course she didn’t oppose to you leaving sooner and going to the theatre, though she really wanted to go with you and watch you, but she needed to stay at the café

So she closed the café and decided to proceed on a little paperwork, usually you work on this so she doesn’t have bad memories of her days at C & R.

And she wanted to help you with this so you wouldn’t get worried after the long day you were probably having, but she remembered how boring this was, and ended up sleeping.

She woke up with the sound of the café door being open… A burglar? Not on her watch!

It was dark, she just saw this weird figure and used her judo skills to give this person a ippon.

“Ouch, Jaehee! Are you that mad with me for being late?” oh no… this voice… she promptly run to find the light switch and find you on the floor.

“MC, I’m so sorry! I… I… what happened to your face?” you didn’t fall with your face on the floor, she was pretty sure…

She was still worried, she completely forgot that she couldn’t really have hurt you bad with just a simple ippon…not that you tried to calm her down, you were just happy she was hugging you this much…

Jumin

He got home after a business trip longing to find you and Elizabeth the 3rd

Only the cat was there. He was happy to see her, but he would be happier if you were here… where could you be?

He tried to get a hold of you, nothing. He asked the bodyguards and when they told where you were, he managed to calm down a little, but still… it was very late…

How would you come back home? He already dismissed Driver Kim’s services for the night.

Should he drive himself? He was willing to, if that meant you would be safe… but you wouldn’t be safe with him driving, that’s a paradox!

He listened to the door being open and saw Elizabeth tensing up, what was she seeing?

He activated the security system, a loud alarm went off, but there was another sound… he knew this voice…

He went to the living room, finding very confused bodyguard staring at you painted face. What were they supposed to do? Was this a fashion emergency?

“Jumin, what’s going on?” “You tell me, MC. I was worried wondering how you would come home…” “And what setting the alarm has to do with this?” the bodyguards were thinking the same, though none of them would ever dare to say something.

When everything was solved, you two were cuddling when you noticed his back and shoulders all tense, yours were pretty sore too. “Scratch my back if I scratch yours?” you asked playfully rubbing his shoulders in an attempt of massage, he smirked at you and you knew what that meant, he had another way to relax in mind…

Saeyoung

He spent the whole afternoon locked in his office and completely lost track of time.

He was hungry for food and for your company, he found a little bento box in the fridge, but couldn’t find you.

That was weird. And when he realized it was very late, he got worried.

He tracked your phone, it was a little harder since it was turn off, but nothing that complicated.

Apparently, you were on your way home. Thank God! He needed to take a shower and look presentable to you…

He was taking his clothes off when he heard the front door being open. You? No, according to GPS, you were still a little far, you couldn’t be here this fast… an intruder!?

He turned the lights off to face you with this weird make up on. He couldn’t help yelping in scare, pointing the taser gun at you.

“Saeyoung! Calm down! It’s me!” you said raising your arms like you were surrendering.

“M-MC? How did you get here that fast?” “One of my friends gave me a ride. Did you really think I was going to come here by foot?” well, he didn’t think much, he just missed you and wanted o look and smell good to you, and… oh shit! Now you both notice he has just his boxer briefs on…

“My eyes are up here, MC.” He teases you, and you smirk. “Were you about to take a shower? Maybe we can take one together and you can help me wipe this off and…” he didn’t even let you finish, he threw his underwear at you and ran to the bathroom, telling you to hurry~

Saeran

He was starting to get annoyed, where the hell were you?

How long do these things last? Did you really have to work this late? Ugh… he hated being worried like this, but he couldn’t help it.

And when he tracked you and realized your phone was dead… ugh! Would he really have to scold you for being that irresponsible? He didn’t want to pick up a fight, but you were impossible sometimes!

He slept in the couch waiting for you, being this annoyed was very tiring sometimes…

You came in and noticed him, your heart fluttered… he looked so adorable and peaceful. Would he wake up if you gave him a little smooch?

He woke up with this hideous face very close to his and pulled you away, scared.

“Saeran? It’s me! What’s wrong?” oh… this voice… shit! He was ready to punch this weird figure, could he imagine if he ever hurt you like this?

“I have to ask you the same! What were you doing? And… what happened to your face? Have you lost a bet or some shit like this?” he tried to hold back a laugh, but it was impossible. You rolled your eyes and chuckled a little.

“I didn’t want to wake you up, but you looked so cute, I wanted to kiss you. I’m sorry…” now his heart was fluttering, you were the cute one here, for fuck’s sake.

“Well, take that thing off and you can do much more than kiss me. Hurry, I’m waiting.” He said, heading to the bedroom

[mystic-head-canons]

hi ovo can you do a marriage proposal for everyone? like- how they'd propose to mc? yisssss thank I love ur blog

lol when I first read this, I was half awake and I thought you meant that you wanted me to go propose everyone! X)

Yoosung

Yoosung couldn’t really afford anything too fancy after buy the ring, so he cleaned his apartment, invited MC over for a fancy dinner, cooked himself, and put on a nice outfit

MC suspected she would be staying the night so she packed some extra clothes before she came over

They had their nice dinner, watched a movie, and… well, Yoosung kept forgetting to propose because MC was too distracting, and besides that, whenever he remembered, it didn’t feel like the right moment

After the movie, they were in kind of a rush to get their clothes off after making out on the couch, so the ring, still in his pants pockets, was tossed aside with them

In the middle of the night, MC woke up to get some water, but stepped on the box

After investigating, she immediately knew why this whole evening had happened, and decided to just put on the ring and leave the empty box by the bedside table for him to see

Well, Yoosung was super flustered and embarrassed come morning because things didn’t happen like he planned, but MC gave him the opportunity to ask properly so he could feel better

Jaehee

Our girl was so nervous

Jaehee had closed the cafe for the day under the guise that she wanted to try making a few different tiramisu recipes to see which one is best

Jaehee had already pre-set the plates with each serving, the last one she wanted to try had the ring wrapped in plastic wrap underneath it

So MC showed up, they had some coffee, splitting a bunch of different types and mixes of tiramisu, making little notecards to attach to each to explain what was good and bad to review for later

The problem Jaehee hadn’t anticipated was that they’d be too full by the time it got to the last few pieces

MC was ready to throw in the towel and get a salad to wash all that sugary goodness down

Jaehee agreed, kind of freaking out that things weren’t going according to plan, but took MC on a long walk through the park, they had a late lunch, did a little window shopping, then returned to the cafe

When Jaehee asked if MC was up for a few more, she said sure, so they plowed through the last three, and MC finally discovered the ring

Jaehee managed to ask after the discovery, nervous as all heck, but the moment MC snaps out of her daze, she agrees and kisses Jaehee

When MC assumes the whole day was part of the plan, Jaehee doesn’t correct her, a little embarrassed

Zen

Zen would try to make everything perfect

And trust me, he thought long and hard about what to do

Among the things he considered, two of them were proposing on stage after a performance (a little too public, and he was tempted, he just wasn’t sure MC would go for it), and  trying to hide the ring in some food (he googled “good foods to hide a ring in” and found a bunch of horror stories where people had to get their stomachs pumped)

Zen tried proposing at a nice restaurant, but Jumin coincidentally showed and ruined his mood

Then he tried to propose at an RFA party, but there were so many guests, Zen barely spent any time with her

He ends up proposing to her on Christmas Eve, giving her the ring wrapped up with a pretty bow

The next day, when they do the annual Christmas event, everyone she knows is asking about the ring and gushing about it while Zen beams

Jumin

So, if Jumin hadn’t proposed at the party, made a spectacle of big himself and MC, and married her less than six months later, this is what I think would happen

In the morning, he presented MC with a lovely breakfast, an envelope, and an arrangement of yellow and white flowers

Inside the envelope was a schedule for the day, that included a massage, facial, mani-pedi, getting her hair and makeup done, and dress and shoe shopping

The evening is simply marked off as “💜~Surprise~💜” (he asked Jaehee to put hearts next to it because he thought it would be cute)

So MC spent the whole day being primped and pampered, then was driven to an empty, fancy restaurant

Jumin reserved the entirety of a restaurant so that they can have their dinner without being disturbed

It’s candlelit, very romantic, with excellent wine

After dinner, Jumin takes MC on a small walk, they stop by a fountain, he drops to one knee and officially asks

MC can’t help but laugh because, of course he made his proposal a whole day event

Saeyoung

Scavenger hunt~❤️

Lol, but no seriously, he sends MC on a scavenger hunt, having her go to the place where they met, had their first date, first kiss

There’s a gift every place she’s waiting, then the last location is somewhere they’ve never been

He’s waiting for her, and when she asks, “So what happened here?”

“Oh, you know, we got engaged.”

It takes her a moment to process it, but by then he’s pulls the ring out and is offering it to her

MC tackle-hugs the boy, all but shouting yes, he puts the ring on her, and of course, they kiss

V

He said he had a surprise for her and invited her to a gallery where a collection he had just finished was going to shown in a few weeks

It was in the evening, so MC showed up, and the lights were out, but V was waiting outside the door for her

After leading her in, V had her wait alone in the middle of the dark gallery while he turned on the lights

One by one, the lights come on, giving MC time to look at all the pictures that he’s presenting….

….they’re all pictures of her

Pictures of her with V and the RFA, doing day to day things, smiling, laughing, and each has a date and a description attached via pieces of paper that explain they’re relevance

At the bottom of each page, there’s a mini love letter to MC

As she makes her way through the gallery, following the lights, she sees more pictures of her and reads each love note, tearing up a little at this whole spectacle

The last picture, to her surprise, isn’t of MC or V or anyone else, but a black and white photo of a ring in a box

The final note reads, “MC, will you marry me?”

When MC turns around, there’s V, waiting with the ring in his hands, smiling

How could she possibly say no?

Saeran

Tact is not his forte

And he thinks a ring is a waste of money

So Saeran gets the paperwork to make a marriage legal and slides it across the table to her one day

MC can’t help but laugh, but signs the paperwork anyways

A few months later, Saeran sees some guy hitting on MC very aggressively, and realizes the purpose of rings, so he drags her to a store to get her one

After seeing MC wear the ring, Saeyoung and the RFA all start clamoring for a wedding

Vanderwood

Vanderwood doesn’t much strike me as a romantic

He’d probably bring up marriage casually, and if they decided they wanted to get married, he’d get her a ring

Although, the paperwork might be tricky because of his past with the agency (and possibly before that because idk)

[sabergowitz]

GHD

Groundhog Day Broadway reaction post!!!! I’ve been waiting to see it for like a year and a half, and boy howdy do I like this show. I saw one preview, opening night, and once front row! General thoughts, plus a section at the bottom for opening night specifically (aka me stressing unnecessarily about his injury)

Disclaimer one: I wrote about spoilers, stuff I like, stuff I don’t like, staging, the whole nine. largely show-chronological. may not make sense to you unless you’ve seen the show

Disclaimer two: I wrote this on a bus in the middle of the night so it is not the most coherent. 

tl;dr all the people who say “i’m too busy literally spinning on bill murray’s dick to even consider seeing this show” can suck my fucking toe

ACT I

one of the screens in the beginning shows phil talking about the weather on mars? wot is tha abah

that beginning-of-frozen/come from away swag in ‘there will be sun’, that mountain sound. one of the reviewers pointed this out too

I saw one of the reviewers say that not one song was memorable to them after the show??? I don’t know what they were smoking, because I’ve had ‘day one’/””””small town usa”””” stuck in my head since I first saw it

the punxsutawney jingle is so disneyland-ready it’s scary

barrett never enunciates "flood" story. the first time I heard it I was like "blood story? wat"

Also re: barrett -- she fits the character so well and I LOVE her singing voice!!! I think her acting is mostly In Service Of andy, which, duh -- but I’d like her to (and I have confidence she will) make it her own/a little more individual/idiosyncratic. Just the three performances I’ve seen I think she’s growing into it/getting more comfy :3

the "with a kiss- twist!" gets a little laugh, but following it up with "/fuck/" just tickles me every time hehe

love how the point they freeze at in ‘there will be sun’ is right before the sunrise/"oh if i could i'd will these clouds away" stuff - which all happens once phil is freed, and he watches the sunrise with rita :')

I LOVE ned’s chopped and screwed jingle on the third go around. it's like five seconds but it's so good at setting the mood. I am Frankly Appalled that the jingle isn’t on the cast recording, you don’t get the full impact of ‘night will come’ then

did not see ned’s pedo stache on my first two viewings, it grrrrosses me out and is not even ghd-movie-canonical, why this

the drunk driving joke always gets a big laugh which makes me a bit uncomfy

‘nobody cares’ is so FUCKING good. I esp like "shoot some cans, crack some cans, shoot the breeze". I wish they’d perform it at the tonys but alas….

… okay an Aside for tonys performance thoughts: I’d love them to perform ‘nobody cares’ but it would kind of waste andy and I feel like they’d want him prominent. Plus the big car is run on the turntables, which they wouldn’t have on that stage, but maybe they could just block it differently. ‘hope’ would obviously be fucking incredible but I think it’s too Dark and staging-complicated for the tonys. I have a feeling we’re gonna get ‘if I had my time again’ which is fffffine but a little generic for my taste. Obviously the solution is ‘seeing you’, pls. okay moving on (ETA: they are apparently doing a medley that includes one of the Days. I am Nervous about this choice)

still don’t know how they do the bag blowing across the stage so well in ‘philanderer’! I don’t see a string or anything and it blows so realistically

also, important note: when he goes behind the door with nancy and is making ~sex noises~, he is actually in real time also thrusting/writhing up on her, I saw it with my eyes lordy lou

"me, in all my finery! and you, in your - practical attire!" makes me laugh EVERY time I just love how andy delivers it

the shining armor masturbation joke never lands and I think barrett have given up on trying to telegraph it super clearly haha

"same! that is my favorite drink!" handonchest.jpeg

rita's constant response to phil’s sleaziness is "grow up" -- which, I understand that is what they're trying to push thematically for phil? but like grown ass men aren't doing gross ass shit every day???

“for me modesty is second only to humility" is the laugh line for me but "my humility is legend" always gets it

in ‘one day’ when rita sings “metrosexual”, phil points to himself like “me? why you gotta call me out wtf”

in the snowball fight scene, once when rita’s turned away, phil turns to the kids and mouths “FUCK OFF” with hand gestures, I screamed

love how phil’s “fictional man” hits at the same time as rita’s “actual man”, and they’re both right, and they’re both wrong

ACT II

okay ‘playing nancy’. I see what they were going for with this song, but I think we can all agree that “it’s better to be leered at than not desired at all” is A Bad Take, Greg. whatever, none of the reviewers like this song either, it gives people time to get back to their seats ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not only is the content strange, but it’s kind of boring musically/melodically too. also I think it’s fucky that they have nancy be a sympathetic character for “taking what men give her”, but shit on rita’s ‘one day’ farm girl for doing the same thing? idk, I haven’t really unpacked all my thoughts about it but it’s not keeping me up at night. they tried, they largely got there, whatevs

the shooting scene before ‘hope’ was so shocking to me when I first saw it, but ‘hope’ itself was just thrilling and exciting. music fixes everything I guess

I love ‘everything about you’, it really struck me in the sternum the first time I saw the show. I’m a BIG sucker for very simplistic imagery communicating larger ideas of love or death or whatever (see also: underwater from caroline or change, origin of love from hedwig and the angry inch)

also “you thought jesus was going to appear from the dark” in your bedroom is totally ripped from the headlines of tim minchin’s life (right? I remember a very similar anecdote from an interview of his) ETA: YES

‘if i had my time again’ is fun and fine!! for me there’s not enough blocking/telegraphing of phil ~truly falling for~ rita. you get some of it in the tilt-a-whirls but it’s pretty hard to follow visually. this song is like a slightly less effective ‘when you’re home’? “feels like you’re showing me around your hometown”, yanno.

“and I would be a lot more zen” immediately followed by “and I would punch a lot of men” same girl

also phil holds the hot dog for SO LONG in this song, I didn’t realize. like for more than half of the song he’s holding this hot dog rita handed to him near the beginning ahahaha

andy karl gets the tony award for best coat-ography, whipping that shit around his shoulders twenty times a show

ned ryerson’s ballad about death is one of my favorite songs, which is a sentence tim minchin made me type with my own two goddamn hands. and john sanders sings it sooooo well I love it. (I like him singing it live better than some of the vocal choices he made on the cast recording)

if I think too hard about what phil is actually doing?? or trying to accomplish?? during that moment it fucks me up so hard. sisyphian 4 real

also the staging at the end of the number, phil (who is dark) following in step behind ned (who is lit) fuck meeee

‘philanthropy’ is the most joyous I have ever been in a theater fight me

also vishal did the whole number and then came back on and was supes sweaty in a tuxedo plus coat, poor thing

and then when all the sound is sucked out of the room and seeing you kicks in I’m d o n e :’’’’’’’’))))))))))

when the final scene comes around and it was clear he had been freed, a lady behind me scoffed and said too loud, “he’s broken out of it now. watch.” and I was like DEBORAH WE’RE ALL AWARE OF THE MOVIE your insight is not necessary pipe down pls

matthew warchus has a talent for ending shows with lovely simple artistic vignettes (ms honey and matilda cartwheeling towards a tiny house, phil and rita with their arms around each other bathed in sunrise) :’)

OPENING NIGHT

maybe it was just me because i had too much coffee beforehand? but I think during the first half I/the audience, plus andy himself, were a little tense/stiff/high strung? not quite ~in the groove~. it is a very anxiety-inducing first half to be fair. (plus it was literally opening night, so.) some of the audience was v aware he was injured: at one point putting on his shoes he almost slipped off the bed platform and a bunch of people gasped/winced. I swear I saw him at one point (when he was stage left, not in the spotlight yet) wave off “no im fine” to someone in the wings. I took deep breaths during intermission to zen out tho, and once he nailed ‘hope’ I was like pshaw we good

he was not quiiiite limping but almost. was stiff. at "with what a dixie cup" I saw him like ~hobbling off the stage :( and he was pulling his punches somewhat with the physical comedy, but I only knew that because I saw him do it at full strength at the preview. I don't think it was obvious to first timers. he didn't go Full Loony Slapstick Panic Attack, it was more like real ass nervous and Stressed, which just made ME stressed because I didn't know if he was struggling injury wise or not

he really gave his all in the slick dancing of ‘philandering’ tho. and everyone was cheering him on, it was great

“one lonely people? c’mon...” *extends his leg with knee brace up onto a diner stool, gestures to it, massages his thigh, literally two distinct applause breaks* “aren't you even curious?”

he kept bending down as the snowball fight scene warrants and I was like BUDDY PLS

in ‘hope’ “there will be mornings you’ll be utterly defeated by your laces” got LAUGHS, I was upset. but people gave crazy cheers each time he woke up again. he just crushed it like fuckin YEAH

when the bell chimes started in for philanthropy my heart rate skyrocketed. instead of doing a silly gangly full on sprint like he did uninjured, he did like, tiny running? in the style of a powerwalker? it was still very comedic and good

‘seeing you’: he broke down/cracked a bit on “I know nothing” and paused, looked upstage, looked at barrett, looked out at the audience, and continued. READER I CRIED

[elizabethrobertajones]

About Destiel... Someone close to me who loves Spn and chat with me and all that but doesn't involve in Tumblr, or fanarts or whatever bc of man stereotypes (those are crap, really) told me yesterday that Dean was egocentric. I was like Are you fúcking kidding me, but he explained that there is a very thin line between hate and love, and for Dean to hate himself he had to have loved himself before, or something like that. I think it's interesting, so i wanted to know your opinion about this

Pfft, Tumblr cooties. 

I have to say I didn’t expect that logic to go where it did :P

I think Dean has a lot of anxiety and obvious self-esteem issues, but if I was going to look at him as being egocentric I’d be much more interested in examining his personal relationships than that… I’ve been musing on this while drinking my morning coffee (and sorry, this is going to be a headache & coffee reply :P) and thinking about Dean would ever have loved himself for that to turn into hate by that logic. 

I could think of 2 suggestions for how you could get to self-hate from there - the acceptably selfish love he’d have learned for himself as a kid while Mary was still alive (someone deserving of hugs and having the crusts cut off his sandwiches) and would have been destroyed under the burden of having to put himself second or third in the family unit, especially to Sam, once they’re on the road and he’s sort of raising Sam as the stand-in mother from age 4 onwards… Dean suffers from more and more extreme arcs about the loss of self, but the first “version” of Dean is one he lost early on and might have been the only Dean really able to uncomplicatedly love himself and believe himself worthy of that love, even if it’s in that way where to a 4 year old of course they’re the centre of the universe :P

There’s also a more complex thought I had and sorry, this is first thing in the morning for me so I hope I can explain properly… (Also this reply gets really long because of that… Sorry :P)

Looking at Dean’s self-loathing backwards, in how he ever expresses positive things about himself, I’m coming up mostly with all the snarky cutesy comments about how awesome he is and so on, which is pretty much always a great big helping of performing Dean. His self-worth is tied a lot into being a hunter (and he is occasionally sincerely proud of himself there), but overall that’s another persona, and the one he grew up into instead of the happy Dean with a normal childhood who might not have so many reasons to hate himself (Dean in 2x20, what you can gather about his personal life in the dream, is still completely affected by Dean’s own perception of himself so I don’t think it’s good data on how he’d live his life if he grew up with no monsters). 

Performing Dean, which that sequence at the end of 3x10 still shows best of any moment in the show, is all (when it comes down to it) something Dean acts under the expectation of what John would want or self-policed by what he thinks John would approve of. There’s an idealised version of Dean in his own head who is basically John or what Dean thinks John would have wanted him to be, and Dean’s lack of self-esteem is sometimes (dramatically) expressed in relation to feeling like he’s disappointed this spectre of John’s memory, and a great deal of his self-loathing comes from falling short of these standards. He’s definitely got better over time and learned to express himself more (by Dean standards) but his progress is always being interrupted, and this is such a core part of Dean I don’t think he can ever completely change it without altering his life in such a way there wouldn’t even be a show any more :P It’s not strictly “love” but it’s an idealised version of himself and also a key part of Dean’s sense of self and at least in the early seasons (before 3x10 let’s say :P) the version of himself he would want to love and live up to.

Anyway… idk about linking any of that directly to Dean being egocentric? I mean, that’s a reading you can make of him, I’m just not sure what part it plays. I should probably say immediately that I think Dean is very empathetic, and so that necessarily means in general he’s putting himself in others’ shoes when we’re looking at generic interpersonal relationships, plus the whole saving people thing, mean anything else I talk about, I’m giving Dean huge allowances here because I do think he’s kind and IN GENERAL puts others first, all the time. 

I know I have a tag about Dean being the centre of the universe, but for the most part I treat that as a joke on Dean where he doesn’t know it. On the other hand, the one major major time he exerts that power, in 5x22, he absolutely makes the entire apocalypse about him and his feelings and his need to talk to Sam before Michael and Lucifer fight, and uses that to save the world, so… Idk :P It’s not strictly a bad thing at all on a grand scale? Staying in season 5 for a minute (and sorry, Superwiki is not working right now so no quotes >.>), 5x11 explores Dean’s sense of the burden of the entire planet, and I think you could argue either way that he has an altruistic sense of having to save everyone, or focus on the “but why does it have to be him” thing, about how much he’s internalised that burden and in a way made it about himself. I feel like between his conditioning growing up to save people (and in season 1 he was altruistically the “saving people” side of “saving people hunting things” while Sam was the latter and revenge-focused) and the huge burdens the world puts on him, I don’t really think it’s fair to consider that Dean just happened to absorb this message because he’d be inclined to the idea of the world being on his shoulders, but that he is what the world made him especially with all the talk of Destiny and the feeling like no one else is remotely stuck in the cross hairs like they are. His reaction to being resurrected in 4x02 is skin-crawling horror that he’s been centred out for this sort of attention. When in big plot situations, his response can be read as egocentric, it’s not necessarily a criticism, especially as Dean is usually right, and it mostly gets the job done.

… Dealing with people, though. Idk, then it gets tricky :P Dean’s got a very strong moral centre and he expects others to hold up to his standards all the time. (I just watched through the end of season 6, and for example Dean arguing with Cas after the reveal is asking Cas to trust him and do as Dean says just because Dean believes it’s completely right and Cas is wrong. He doesn’t have any answers to help Cas this late in the game when they’re so deep into all these plans and disaster is looming and they’re out of time to deal with it, but in a way it’s almost like in 4x21 where Bobby’s telling Dean that Sam will die if they keep detoxing him, and Dean yells that at least Sam will die human - better to go out honourably than to betray yourself/Dean’s expectations of you. Being the moral core of the group DOES make it revolve around Dean’s principles, especially as he has a natural leadership to him and he can get used to what he says, goes. Like, in the latest episode, he makes the deal with Billie, and expects it to be about him when it comes to time to die… Mary getting between that abruptly shatters Dean’s centrality there, because the family unit is bigger than Dean and with so many more people involved in it, Mary and Cas hog all the drama of that moment, and in a way Dean only brought it to them. (And Sam, who only agreed to the deal, aside from badgering Dean to talk about it and getting shut down because Dean would clearly not want Sam to be the one to die, is also most used to operating under Dean’s rules and as the assumed survivor in Dean’s ideal scenario for that deal, had basically nothing to do with it aside from agreeing to a sketchy blood pact in the first place >.>)

Anyway watching through as far as I have (just watched 7x03) I do feel like I’ve been watching Dean’s moral authority grow and grow - as a response to trauma and to all the unimaginable situations he’s found himself in. Like the other characters, all the stuff that got them to the finish line in season 5, once in season 6 becomes much more dangerous and under the microscope for character development in a different way as the story switches from being sort of mythical to more about the interpersonal stuff. Dean by 7x03 has been shaken up by the ongoing problems with Sam, and Cas’s betrayal, and monsters that they don’t know how to kill, to the sort of place where his need for control, which was nurtured by all the apocalypse arc stuff by putting the burden directly on him, kind of now is definitely crossing over from a positive to neutral character trait to a definitely bad one… Honestly I feel like him ditching Sam and driving off to kill Amy because he doesn’t trust Sam is the real moment Dean snaps and sets off his arc that eventually leads to the Mark of Cain stuff, or Gadreel, which were all about Dean’s sense of control and his problems maintaining it that all play into his downfall arc as demon!Dean. (I honestly believe he’s so much more well-balanced in season 11 and 12 after all the character development Dean went through in season 10 - he was getting alarmingly zen and full of self-acceptance just before they pushed him  back over the edge… although it really needs a long view on it, like, I wasn’t certain for sure until 11x23 about how this was going for Dean, and he keeps doing stuff like these deals so it’s sort of like… he’s getting BETTER I’m not saying he’s perfect now :P) 

Anyway when it comes to Destiel, which I guess was the original reason you asked this based on your opening line… I think Dean DOES sometimes come across as egocentric - times when he puts himself or his problems first (the worst example being kicking Cas out of the Bunker). I’ve seen it argued a lot that Dean doesn’t really understand Cas to a certain level of Cas being vulnerable and/or someone he can really hurt this way, mostly because he has expectations literally to high Heaven about what Cas is and what he can do, and Cas is getting more and more human (only sometimes literally) but Dean has a lot of trouble bringing Cas down to his level. That “applications for sainthood” line about Dean and relationships is one of the best for looking at Dean and interpersonal relationships. That mixes HIS expectations (the egocentric side) with adoration and an expectation from others that he projects onto them, which is a much more selfless love but I guess no less dangerous when it comes to people disappointing him, because it comes as a blow to his entire world view. Like in 6x20 where Dean refused so long to think that Cas would betray them. Not just because Dean selfishly thinks everyone should do what he says (which is how it can come across) but because he truly believes those he loves would not do bad things. (Which also can explain his really extreme reactions to the bad stuff Sam does and Dean’s absolute reactions to it. In 4x22 when Dean’s moping about Sam to Bobby, Bobby calls Dean out on sounding like his father, which I think says a lot about where this behaviour in general comes from, again, all the absolutes and black and white thinking.) 

Anyway Dean said himself in 11x23 to Cas in the beer run, that he and Sam can get very caught up in their own stuff and forget to care about the things outside their problems, acknowledging how Cas had got a bit left to the wayside. I think that means Dean does genuinely struggle with this - and it’s now finally something that maybe they can really address after it was allowed to escalate so far over many seasons… historically almost every time there’s something wrong with Cas, Dean is slow on the uptake or it comes to smack him in the face he can’t be objective about it and generally makes the situation worse before it gets better (or swept under the rug into the growing pile of trauma Cas deals with >.>)… 

Now we’re getting some real Cas-focused episodes/a whole arc, and Cas’s problems are really out there again, I hope that means for Dean getting to face them properly as well and NOT reacting in the same way he often does. If there are far fewer issues around because all the plot has de-escalated a bit, HOPEFULLY that will let him focus on stuff outside himself? Like, though he didn’t react great to Cas leaving afterwards, when Cas actually announced he was going, Sam and Dean chased after him, and it was clear in that moment Dean genuinely was tuned in to something being up with Cas and without any other major problems to worry about that could take priority over that, and was concerned about Cas. 

I’m really hoping when it comes to Dean’s awareness of Cas’s issues he’s just had a huge wake up call, especially about how much Cas cares about them all, and while that was all about “the Winchesters” the show endlessly puts Dean n Cas just a little notch above everything else in that dynamic (Dean getting the more dramatic reaction to seeing Cas, sitting with him in the car, being the one to phone him, Sam as an outside observer to that and what Dean did and didn’t tell Cas… Even when all the language seemed to be very generically about the family as a whole, they are still singled out within it…)

But yeah, I’m not at all a bitter Cas fan who thinks Dean is cruel to Cas so I’m saying this out of wanting them to be better than they already are, not like this is a barrage of accusations levelled at Dean for being self-centred :P I try to always follow both their perspectives on a thing because there’s always huge misunderstandings. And sadly when Dean has a misunderstanding with Cas  he often lashes out at him, and that also makes it look in a lot of circumstances like Dean is being self-centred, where from his perspective he feels just as wronged by Cas and is already desperate and angry when they start a conversation (still thinking of season 6 and I guess their epic miscommunication in the end of season 7, or Dean’s lack of understanding in season 8 after the crypt scene, which is a moment that piles on a huge mess Dean’s already feeling so he doesn’t react out of the blue to randomly be angry with Cas when he shows up again…) Dean’s kind of terrible all round at interpersonal relationships… I’m very sympathetic to him there so it doesn’t upset me as long as I can understand WHERE he’s gone wrong. 

… I should probably stop talking here because I have no idea what you actually wanted here but I have been spewing way too many thoughts at you to no real conclusion… This reply is way too long but I can’t think how to cut it down aside from just not making entire points or not answering :P 

[christineoh]

It’s only been four days since I got to Japan but I feel like I’ve already done so much and…spent…so..much

I got to Kyoto Seika University and settled into my dorm the past few days. There was a little mix-up with my room when I got here but everything ended up well and I’m really happy because everyone in the program is really chill, just like the weather

(Honestly though, it’s been pretty cold the past few days. Today was probably the nicest weather, and it was still around 49 degrees F.)

We had a welcome party the second night after a HECKA LONG orientation that lasted literally 5 hours total. I couldn’t grocery shop and I’ve been pushing it off since then

Being an introvert meant that I had to take baby steps to include myself into ongoing conversations. But doing so, I was able to meet a few people here and there, and it was so awesome because PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANTED TO TALK TO ME!! And we were all so interested in each other and it was so awesome. 🙂 🙂 🙂

I’m honestly surprised at how easy it has been to make friends. Like I said, everyone in the program is really cool and we all want to go out and do things and it’s really cool. Also everyone who I’ve met so far in the university is really cool too. My roommate and I met this one girl who is SO GOOD AT KOREAN like SO GOOD. She’s really cute and I really like her. This place is kinda sorta really awesome

OK ON TO MY TRAVEL DIARY

-April 7th, 2018-

We went to the international center thing of Kyoto (Kokusai-kaikan), where they hold UN meetings and stuff. Apparently you never get to go inside, but there was a special event thing going on that allowed us to! AND we also got to see a short program of a ten-string-tet (idk what it’s called when it’s ten strings) performing some pieces about spring. Here are some pictures:

some koi fish in the pond thing

the outside of the building – as my friend said, “it’s unnecessarily cool”

sakura when sasuke came back

sakura when sasuke left

the inside of the hall where we saw the performance. little name plaques and cool chairs for the important diplomatic people

CUTE CANDLE CHARACTER HE GAVE ME STICKERS UGH SO CUTE

ME AND JACKIE BC HE WAS SO CUTE

  After we went to Kokusai-kaikan, our Japanese friends who came along took us to the Downtown market of Kyoto (Shijo)!! IT WAS LIT. I had okonomiyaki for the first time and my tummy was v happy. If you follow me on ig you probably saw all the stuff about the game center and the random parade when I was there.

AH, QUICK NOTE BEFORE MY NEXT PICTURE SPILL: Kyoto background!! Kyoto is Japan’s best picture of historical and modern Japan. Many World Heritage sites are in Kyoto, some of which I’ll be talking about (Kin/Gin-kakuji), because many of Japan’s historical events took place here. Also I don’t really have pics of the uni I’m at but it’s in the middle of the mountains and it’s small lol OK PICS AT SHIJO

ok last pic of Kokusai-kaikan JAPANESE BATHROOMS HAVE BIDETS AND COMPLETE PRIVACY like if you want to poop you can TURN ON THE WATER SOUND AND THEY CANT HEAR YOU #poopinpeace

pretty much what Shijo looks like! shops on each side and i swear you can hear the whispers of evil “buy me! buy me!”

OKONOMIYAKI WITH MY FIRST FAV FRIEND JURI

game center but i didnt have money which is good and bad…sed

I LOVE KIDS THEYRE SO CUTE random parade idk

ME JACKIE AND BRANDON BOUGHT MATCHING SHIBA INU COIN POUCHES bc in japan coins will pretty much rule the world

And the day concluded with us going back home to play Codenames. I slept around 9 and prepared for the next day…

-April 8th, 2018-

It is Sunday. After much contemplation and research I decided to try going to a church. The nearest one is 30 minutes by bus, and service was around 10:30 so I was gonna try to go, and then visit the Golden Pavilion (Kinkaku-ji) in hopes to find sakura trees that survived the rain, since church was in the middle of the uni and Kinkaku-ji. BUT ofc i got lost bc i didnt know how to bus in japan and the driver was a little annoyed and lol i got off and wandered for like an hour lol so me

SO I missed church but somehow made it to Kinkaku-ji. Do you want some background?? I guess I’ll give background.

Kinkaku-ji means “Temple of the Golden Pavilion,” and it sits in a little lake which sometimes reflects the temple. It’s plated in REAL GOLD (ok tbh idk if it’s real gold dont quote me lol) but REAL GOLD and was said to represent the Pure Land of Buddha in this world. Long time ago, it was  also used as an official guesthouse for an important emperor. You can’t go inside because it’s blocked off, and you couldn’t go even if it wasn’t because of all the PLEASANT tourists that keep shamelessly getting in front of your pictures lolol im a tourist too tho lolol

Overall, Kikaku is representative of Muromachi-period architecture

i copied alot of this from the tourist brochure lol (except for the gold part………………………….WAIT IT SAYS GOLD FOIL ON LACQUER COVERS THE UPPER TWO LEVELS but is it ALL gold tho ok idk) also there’s a cool phoenix on top of the temple

such beauty! much zen! i c the reflection

the ticket looks like a seal to ward off bad spirits

ive been taking lots of pics of people bc they look good lol is that bad also this is the entrance-ish area

here’s a new layout for pics: click the pics for captions, theyre descriptive lul

KIN = gold, KAKU =….pavilion???

failed attempt at a selfie…i lost the temple

wowWow

what even is this lol looks nice tho

peekaboo

this is my fav stranger pic. they looked so good and made my heart so full :’) i love them even tho idk them…i love them. also i think the structure behind them i used for their backdrop is important too, it’s like a part of the ritual lol

OK this wasn’t the end of my trip today but it’s getting late (it’s 9:30 LOL). Some of my friends also came so we rendezvoued (thats correct spelling) and went to the Silver Pavilion (Ginkaku-ji) after. Kinkaku was definitely more majestic, but we all liked Ginkaku-ji much better. It’s setting was just amazing. I’ll write a new post for that bc this one was longer than i thought lol so stay tuned!!

also i bought so much stuff today lol did i mention i’m spending money

ok goodnight peeps, I hope you get a taste of Japan from my travels 🙂 And come for yourself next time!!

-CGO

PS, here are some words you will frequently use as a Californian college student in Japan:

samui: it’s cold

takai: it’s expensive

nemui: I’m sleepy

kawaii: it’s cute

oishii: it’s yummy

SAMUI: it’s FRACKING cold

Really. I say these at least 60 times each per day (y)

Japan – 04.07-08.2018. (Kokusai-kaikan, Shoji, Kinkakuji) It's only been four days since I got to Japan but I feel like I've already done so much and...spent...so..much…

[shefliesaway]

just??? a random list of my relationships. from the earliest i can remember to most recent. for documenting purposes i guess. and to work through things. idk. 

Troy – I have no real recollection of this other than just telling him he was my “boyfriend” in kindergarten or first grade.

Austin B. – 4th and 5th grade “boyfriend”. First real memories of a “relationship”. We never dated for real or kissed or anything, we were just kids. However, it was when “sex bracelets” were a thing, and I told on him to a teacher when he tried to give me one. Thus ending our “relationship” and sending him to detention. Years later, when I had a high school class with him, he told me he still remembered that and that he thought he was gonna go to jail. We were able to laugh about it.

Tyler – In 6th grade he asked me to be his gf on a Friday and I said yes. Over the weekend, I freaked out because I didn’t actually want to date him. On the following Monday I acted like he didn’t exist and when he confronted me I said I “misheard” him and agreed to just being friends. Still one of my most embarrassing moments. No idea what ever happened to him.

Jake – Another middle school romance. No memory of how it began or ended, just that it happened at some point???? I think????

Thomas - First high school romance, first kiss. Very little recollection of how it began. All I remember is him cheating me out of my first kiss on the school bus by asking me to kiss his cheek and then turning his head quickly to catch my mouth when I did. The kids around us asked us if we were dating now and we both agreed due to peer pressure. Literally no memory of how it ended.

Adam H. – I was a sophomore and he was a freshman. He had long hair and I thought he looked like a Twilight character (long before the movies were a thing). We were in band together and were going steady, but never really went on a “date” or kissed or anything. He was very strange and clingy, and my naïvely aromantic ass had no idea why I didn’t like him back. I grew distant, and eventually my friend Annalynn broke up with him for me via a text message. Savage.

Josh – Oh my gOD. This poor kid. I liked him because he was “emo”, and I was just beginning to dabble in witchcraft. I cast my first love spell on him on a full moon whilst on my period with a crystal and a Zen garden. It worked. Too well. He asked me out the next day, and I said yes, ecstatic that I’d gotten what I wanted. He was my first make-out. From there, he became obsessive. He drew sketches of me, wrote me songs and poetry, borderline stalked me. I began to freak. He said he was gonna marry me, that I was his soulmate, that he’d kill himself if we broke up. I learned a very important lesson about the Rule of Three. When summer break began, I ignored him, even when he’d show up at my door, until he finally broke up with me over voicemail, clearly crying during the message. My bff and I were very mean to him after that, and I regret it. I’m glad the spell finally wore off. I still feel bad for him. He was also the first PoC I ever dated.

Austin D. – Last high school relationship. We were in band together and had begun flirting at some point. I vaguely remember him asking me out on the bus from a band performance. We dated for a while, went on a couple dates, kissed and made-out sometimes. But I was aromantic, despite not knowing it, and didn’t feel for him what he felt for me. I remember describing to him when I broke up with him that we were basically just “friends who kiss sometimes”. He agreed, the break-up was fairly mutual. We were still able to talk and stuff without it being weird for the rest of high school. Especially since a lot of our friends were mutual.

Felicia – Not really a relationship, but the first girl I ever kissed, I think.

Chuck – Bass guitarist for a local rock band. I was only 19, he was 30-something. We never kissed or dated or anything, but we did drunkenly share a bed one night and there was heavy petting involved. I was crazy about him, but he ended up coming to his senses regarding our age difference.

Lahela – My first relationship with a girl, first long distance romance that started online via RP. This was while I was living in Costa Rica. I thought she was the love of my life, I thought that I was going to marry her. I sent her orchids for Valentine’s Day, and she broke up with me for it. Saying I was too young (she was also 30-something) and that she’d let things go too far. It broke me. I spiraled into depression and finally sought therapy for the first time. She contacted me months later to apologize, and it triggered one of my first panic attacks. Haven’t heard from her since, but I know she’s now married to a man.

T.J. – Sweet man. He was also in this 30’s when we dated. We’d had a class together my freshman year of college, and we’d had a crush on each other but never voiced it. He finally asked me out once I got back from Costa Rica. We dated for a while, kissed a lot, shared a bed once. He was funny and I liked him. He left me for his boss at the time, saying the “distance” was too long for him. (I was literally a 2 hour drive from him, and only for a couple months.) I was jaded, so when he tried to get back together, saying his boss ended up “crazy”, I refused and was kind of mean. Which I now deeply regret after finding out recently that he died in July 2015. I don’t know what happened, but I regret how things ended.

Jayse – My partner of “firsts”. My first queer platonic relationship, my first time dating a trans person, my first time having sex, my first polyamorous relationship, my first *** relationship. Jayse was a great partner, despite being very ill and long-distance. But we made it work. We met each other’s families, flew out to visit each other, went on vacation together, etc. I imagined I would marry him and adopt kids with him. We also met via RP.              - Sayers: A few months into mine and Jayse’s relationship, we added a third, Sayers. We were a happy triad for a while. I kissed Sayers but never slept with him. While I was away in KC, Jayse texted me saying Sayers was behaving toxically. I took Jayse’s side and we broke things off with him. Jayse and I stayed happily together for several more months. When I began seeing Jon, Jayse was fine with it since we were poly and qpr anyway. When Jon said he wanted to be exclusive, I broke things off with Jayse despite the fact that he’d done nothing wrong. He didn’t talk to me for months after that. I didn’t care at the time. We talk occasionally now, and he’s much more ill than ever before. I deeply regret how things ended. I wish we were closer now and I wish I could be there to help him with his sicknesses and disabilities.

Jon – The greatest love of my life thus far. We met via RP and became close friends fast. A year later, we met in person and had an immediate physical connection. A month after that, we decided to be exclusive and I broke things off with Jayse for him. I was so in love with him. We were in a very happy, healthy relationship for 9 of the best months of my life. We were in a *** relationship on and off for a while, too, and got to explore different dynamics of it, which was very rewarding emotionally. I grew a lot with him. I thought for sure he was my soulmate, that we’d get married and have kids and live happily ever after. So when he broke up with me the first time, I was completely blindsided. I had no idea anything was wrong. Literally the day before I’d told my best friend that he was my “forever love” and that we were so happy together. I still think I’ve never been in as much pain as I was then. I regret how I handled it, but I was absolutely devastated. A couple of weeks later, we began talking again, trying to be friends. Our grandmothers died almost back-to-back, and we needed each other. We went on a much needed vacation to N. Ireland. We shared our first kiss since the break-up there. We made love again for the first time since the break-up one of the nights before I left again for the States. We decided we didn’t need to have a label, that we were happy just having each other. I was hopeful. I went to see him again a month later and things were more physical in those few days than they had been in a year of sleeping together. It probably should have been a warning sign, in hindsight. Just a few weeks after that, he broke things off with me again. I was once again devastated and reacted poorly. It’s embarrassing, but I felt like I was dying. I miss him. I’m quite sure he hates me now, but I don’t blame him. I wish only the best for him. I hope he’s doing well. I know I’ll love him ‘til the day I die.

Dozie – Fuck this guy. He found me at a diner a few weeks after Jon and I broke up the first time. We hung out a couple of times after that. After Jon and I broke up the second time, we hung out at the aquarium. He asked if it was a date, and I said yes. I even let him drive me (which was huge). I was beginning to trust him. THEN HE DECIDES TO TELL ME HE’S MARRIED WITH A CHILD AND HAD BEEN LYING TO ME FOR MONTHS AND NOW I’M FURIOUS WITH HIM, BLOCKED HIM EVERYWHERE, STILL MAD AT HIM. STILL PISSED THAT HE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE. HATE HIM. FUCK THAT GUY. SO GLAD WE NEVER DID ANYTHING, I NEVER EVEN LET HIM HOLD MY HAND. FUCK OFF. I knew better than to trust him, too, because when I asked my tarot cards about him, I pulled out “The Magician”. But my dumb ass kept talking to him anyway smh.

Adam S. – Current fling. Met when Ryan and I set up a troll profile for me on Tinder. When I sent him stupid trolling messages, he trolled me right back. He had me laughing the entire night. Before I knew it, I kind of liked him. I told him I was real before I deleted my Tinder, and sent him a SnapChat to prove it. From there we started talking regularly. We’ve been on lots of dates, despite being long-distance. He even came to visit me in D.C. He’s also the first cis guy I’ve ever slept with. Our physical connection is undeniable. We have a lot of differences – like a lot – and he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever dated. But he treats me well, and calls me every day, and seems to genuinely like me. He’s good to me. And I like him back. He makes me happy. We’re both too afraid of being hurt to make things “official” but that’s okay. We’re just enjoying things right now. He’s a good friend, and a good lover. He’s incredibly handsome and he treats me the way I deserve to be treated. Do I love him? Not in that sense. Could I love him like that eventually? Maybe. It’s unfair to him when I’m still hung-up on my ex. I’m trying to move on because I don’t want to hurt Adam, but it’s a slow process. Either way, he’s a great guy and I like him a lot. I’m excited to see where this leads us. He gives me hope after I’d sworn off relationships for good.  I doubt it will last, but it’s still fun and nice to have.

[perksofbeingcindy]

1 year

It’s been 1 year and 1 week of me starting this blog, and i’ve only posted 7 times. Not surprising. a little disappointing. It’s currently October. the last time i posted was on May. this is a summary of what’s happened since then.

I was in a very bad mental state of being May-early June. But! luckily, that managed to change. In case you don’t remember from my last post, I was meant to travel to Guadalajara, starting mid June. My trip lasted around 2 weeks and a half, which helped clear my head A LOT. I was counting for that to happen, desperately. so i’m glad it did. Guadalajara is beautiful. But my favorite part of the trip was probably visiting Mazamitla. Everything there is forest-y and beautiful and perfect. I hiked 2 kilometers to in order to reach a waterfall and it was amazing. That says a lot coming from the most unconditioned person alive. Going uphill was actual hell but once i got to the waterfall everything was worth it. I didn’t have an extra set of clothes so i couldn’t actually get inside, but i did strip my feet aka my shoes were off the instant i arrived to my second home, aka WATER. Nature is so damn beautiful. I live in the fucking desert so every chance I get to visit forest-y areas, especially with waterfalls, i’m 500% down. no matter how long or tiring the hike is for my overweight-hyper-unconditioned-self. I also got to re-visit the beautiful city of Guanajuato. idk what it is about that city, but I can see myself going back to that place over and over again for the rest of my life. It’s so colorful and full of life.  I was genuinely happy throughout those 2 weeks and a half. I managed to only have one panic attack!! thats pretty damn impressive. I expected to immediately crash and fall back into my dark hole the instant i got home, but I didn’t?? That was probably the best part of it all. It was probably because I had very cool/significant/important things i was looking forward to before hell (School) began, but still. Super impressed with how long my stability lasted. July- I met Veronica!! For those of y’all who don’t know, Veronica is the bestest. I met her online through the Baby Back Bitches™ groupchat on twitter and meeting her was an awesome experience. We got to see All Time Low together, and also both ended up falling in love with their openers- SWMRS and The Wrecks. Both AMAZING!!! bands. I promise. I can’t wait to go to another show with her. August- The most important concert of my life finally occurred. I finally saw Lady Gaga live. I heard her beautiful, magnificent, angelic, perfect voice in the flesh. I (obviously) cried several times. I waited 7 fucking years for that moment and they were all so worth it. She’s an amazing performer, but most importantly, an amazing human being. I would give my life for her.

Still August- School began. I could already feel me deteriorating but Amy came through!! My pal Amy managed to get me my first paid job with photography!!! I was at an all time high from the moment she told me the news to when it actually happened. August 25th. I shot a girl’s 15th birthday party. It went so much better than I expected. Even got to take some goodies (candy) home from that party so that was cool. I’ll never forget it.

September- My family and i finally managed to take our yearly trip to the beach. We spiced things up a bit this time, and visited Tijuana, Rosarito, and even some of Ensenada. the usual family bickering remained, but overall it was pretty great. I love the ocean. the water in general, but nothing compares to how i feel when laying on the beach as the sun sets on the horizon. It’s a beautiful feeling. I truly feel at ‘zen’. Is that the word? not sure, but I feel at peace. grounded. alive.

That month I also went to see PVRIS live with my sister. Lynn is also an incredibly beautiful soul. Her presence alone fills me with joy. Her vocals fill me with power. October (now) - I got a job. I finally got a fucking job. I haven’t officially started yet, but it’s a tutoring job. I’m excited. and scared. but mostly excited. This is it guys. my final step into #adulting. a job that will actually help my future career. Don’t quote me on this, but i will try my best to make a blog post on my first month working for the organization. feel free to punch me in the face if i don’t.

My mental health is not in the best state currently, but it’s been very off and on. I’m mostly ok but once every 1-2 weeks I’ll crack. Today was one of those days. or nights, more accurately. But after typing this long ass post, I’ve actually began to feel better. That is how i can tell that writing all of this actually really helps me. I guess it’s even therapeutic in a way. Can’t afford therapy and i have no one else that i can tell EVERYTHING to without feeling like im annoying/ a burden. so instead i’ll leave this up for whoever’s interested/bored. Enjoy my babbling haha

I also like to do this to see how im growing as a person, as an artist, as a student. 2016 was absolute shit to me, but i truly believe that this year has been so much better altogether, for me. I’ve achieved so much already in just June-October. can’t wait to see what these last 3 months have to offer. I will try my best to keep documenting my achievements, whether they’re physical or mental. For me.

[choisgirls]

Hello!! RFAs reaction to MC who casts spells? Like lights candles and casts spells like a little witch. MC started because she found spells online and tried them out, but they actually seemed to work! Whether or not they really do is up to you haha

A/N: guys idk if youknow this but i’m actually really into witchcraft- like magick, crystals,spirituality, spells, sO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS and i just im soRRY IM SOEXCITED FOR THIS REQUEST but i toned it down a little to spare y'all ~Admin 404

*YOOSUNG:

           -He was the one to bring the idea upin the first place, actually!

           -“MC!!! I can’t rememberanything! I’ve studied this same page for the past hour or so and I can’tremember ANY of it. Uhg, why can’t there be any kind of magic to help me withthis? You know, kind of like Harry Potter? Or the magic spells in LOLOL!!”

           -Now you weren’t witch-savvy but youwere determined to find something that could help him!! Or at least make himfeel as if he’s being helped! He needed to pass this upcoming test and seeinghim suffer made you feel terrible!

           -So, thanks to the internet, youfound a sort of “Study star” spell for him! You explain it to him andhe is so!!! ready!!! to try!!

           -You light up an orange candle, ashe focuses on the light. You had him draw a seven point star, had him dab a smudgeof sage oil in the center of the star and on his forehead between his eyes. Youalso had him repeat the chant a few times.

           -You had him keep the paper in hishand the whole time he studied, and when he was done, he blew out the candle

           -Neither of you knew if it didanything but he did have to admit that he was excited to try it anyway!!

           -He came home the next day from histest extremely hyper, loud, and just all around excited puppy yoosung

           -“MC! MC! I PASSED! I PASSED ITWITH FLYING COLOURS! IT WORKED, THE SPELL-THINGY WORKED! OH MY GOD WE HAVE TODO IT EVERY SINGLE TIME”

           -He was yelling in excitement,jumping on the other half of the couch as you bounced up and down on the otherhalf due to him. You agreed to do it every time he need to study, so he couldget and keep his grades up!

*ZEN:

           -He was disappointed about notgetting the part he wanted in a play

           -And the moment he walked into yourguy’s home, you were practically hit in the face with his negative aura

           -“Oh no, nonono, step backoutside”

           -You pushed him out of the frontdoor and he stood there completely confused. Too confused to even ask what wasgoing on, or attempt to re-enter the home

           -He watched as you mixed salt andgarlic and sprinkled it along the doorsteps, the windowsills, any entry pointto the house

           -“MC what in the world are youdoing can I please come inside now?? What are your sprinklingeverywhere??”

           -You explained that you protectedthe house from negative influences, and that now he was able to enter the house

           -“I don’t want your negativeenergy up in here Zen, so I’m protecting our home. Now, come on inside and tellme what’s wrong, love”

           -HE DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE INTO THISKIND OF STUFF???? MC can you give me more protection things? Self-care? BeauTYSPELLS????

           -You just sigh every time he asksbut you do secretly draw him an herbal protection bath at least once a monthand he just thinks you buy the MOST amazing bath salts because they smell andmake him feel a m a z i n g

*JAEHEE:

           -You’ve noticed her stress lately,it’s not like she hides it well

           -And you wanted to help!! But youjust COULDN’T think of a spell to help

           -You thought of maybe combining twoof them, but suddenly you had an idea!

           -You ran up to her with a bag fullof different colour yarn, and told her the meaning of each colour. She wasthrown off and wasn’t sure why you were telling her, but she played along

           -“You have to pick oneaccording to how you feel, as in what kind of problems you’re having! Did youpick one? Oh good! Okay, the next thing you need to do is hold it taut. Gotit?”

           -She followed your directionssilently. She knew you believed in things like spells and magic and she wantedto respect you although she didn’t believe in it herself. Besides, she knowsyou’re just trying to help, and she can’t complain about that!

           -“Okay now, concentrate on allof your problems you’re having. Really visualize them as you tie knots intoyarn. Yes, just like that! You’re tying up the problems and they can’t getaway!”

           -She held it out to you when she wasdone visualizing, “Alright now what? Do we do something about visualizingthe same problems and untie the knots, as if we’re letting go of- MC where areyou going?”

           -You snatched the yarn from herwhile she talked, holding it far out in front of you as if it was evil, and youran outside. She watched as you tried to quickly dig a hole in the dirt andthrow the yarn in it, figuratively burying her problems

           -She shook her head and couldn’thelp but smile. She didn’t feel any problems go away, but she did get happierknowing you wanted to help her bad enough that you’d run outside and try to diga hole with one hand

*JUMIN:

           -He came home one day to find yourubbing some sort of liquid across your wrist, heart, and forehead. And onlythose places. He was thoroughly confused. You weren’t new to spell casting buthe’s never SEEN you do it

           -It smelt like a mix of lemon juice,mint, basil, and a few more that he couldn’t place off the top of his head

           -He asked what you were doing andyou just smiled at him, shrugging before you answered

           -“I made a spell! I boiledbasil, bay leaves, coriander, lemon juice,-” He watched you list several thingsoff but just tilted his head to the side out of confusion

           -“You…casted… a spell? Likeas in magic? And witches?”

           -“Yeah! I casted itbecause…well.. I just wanted to strengthen our relationship and make sure ourlove is there and strong at all times…”

           -You looked down at your feet,pouting a little bit, hoping you didn’t freak him out, but he kissed yourforehead instead

           -“Oh, MC, you didn’t need aspell for that. The love I have for you is immense, there’s no need toworry”

           -Which wOW you couldn’t tell if thatwas just him being honest with you or if your spell DID work. You’d have to tryanother one to see if it worked.

           -“But um, MC? What can I usedto wash this mixture off because I really dislike the taste. I probably shouldhave kissed your cheek instead.”

*SAEYOUNG:

           -Can’t tell me nerd boy hasn’t triedto recreate spells from Harry Potter or the show Charmed

           - i also believe that he’s trieda few protection spells for saeran growing up

           -But lately you’ve noticed he’s hada string of nightmares and you felt terrible! Watching him wake up completelyfreaked out broke your heart

           -You weren’t sure how to reallybring up the idea of performing a spell, so you just blurted it out

           -He just nodded and smiled towardsyou before saying, “Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Last time they gotreally bad I tired one and it seemed to help. Maybe with you doing it with me,it’ll work even better!!!!”

           - im sorry last time you whAT

           -You threw your shock out of thewindow when he pulled out the items you needed- salt, rosemary, rose petals,glass bowl, valerian, and polish moonstone

           -WheRE DID HE HAVE THESE THINGS ANDWHY DIDN’T YOU KNOW ABOUT IT

           -Helped him find a place by the bedto put the bowl where he wouldn’t accidently knock it over

           -Overall you had no real part inthis?? He did it all himself??? You weren’t NEW to witchcraft or anythingbut??? You’re just disappointed that you had nO IDEA HE WAS INTO IT

*V:

           -He travels often for hisphotography

           -But this most recent trip, therewas a little hiccup and made the trip a little dangerous

           -And you DID. NOT. LIKE. IT.

           -So you were determined to make surehe was safe every time he left the house

           -You were new to the whole magickaspect, and decided to find something on the internet and see if it would helpat all

           -(Or at least help ease your mindabout him leaving)

           -You decided to make a “SafeTravel” charm for him!!!

           -Crying a little on the inside asyou tore a bit of your red flannel shirt (MC it’s not like it fits anymore,it’ll be okay), placed some dirt, large pieces of rock salt, and one of yourfavourite silver rings into it. The moment you were done sewing it into alittle bag, you rushed to give it to him

           -He was surprised at the gift, buthis heart immediately MELTED when you told him what it was, what it’s made of,and why you made it. HONESTLY DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE ON TRIPS AFTER THAT, howcould he worry his MC that much??

           -He swore to be 500% careful when heleft the house, and NEVER do anything to make you worry. Neither of you knew ifthe charm actually worked the way it was supposed to, but it did remind himthat he needed to take your feelings into account when he takes trips

*SAERAN:

           -He’s seen you participate in spellsand rituals before

           -He’s even read up about the magick!Mainly because he was interested in the black magick aspect before meeting you

           -Now that he’s met you, and youparticipate in the white magick, he figures what could it hurt.

           -He’s been pretty down lately, andyou felt horrible about it! The both of you knew nothing really caused it, but youstill wanted to try to help

           -He was walking into the room to askyou a question about this new movie he saw, but noticed you were sitting at thealtar you set up

           -You were sitting in front of 3yellow candles, he could smell cedar, and he watched you sprinkle some herbsaround the candles

           -He kept hearing you mutter to yourself,and he decided not to disturb you. But once you were done, he definitelyquestioned just what you were doing

           -“You were testing a happinessspell? What for? Are you not happy, MC? Is everything alright?” Heactually got REALLY worried like oh nO MY MC IS SAD???

           -“No, no! I wanted to see if itworked because… I mean, if it does work I was gonna suggest you try it.You’ve been down lately and I just want to help but I guess I should have justasked if you wanted help and I’m sor-”

           -He cut you off before you couldapologize by hugging you. He muttered a thank you before he kissed the side ofyour head. He agreed to try the spell with you, as well! that was easy,thought i’d have to fight more