#idk what it is about this game that makes me get my tinfoil hat on

[dandunn]

Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that at the end of Joseph's route in DD his "talk" with Mary amounted to him convincing her to keep things together for the kids and his social image (because we know how easy it is to get a divorce in conservative Christian communities esp if you're a woman amirite).

Like people are real quick to throw the book (and the rest of the library) at Mary when she's evidently depressed enough to resort to substance abuse and can't even summon the energy to take care of her kids. She's just so very clearly at the end of her rope with all this and it ruffles me that people get more enraged with her flirting with other men while her husband has been going out and actually fucking them (potentially more than once).

And idk. The lived in state of the boat and how convinient the 'oh no we ran out of gas and the radios out!' thing was made me think my guy. This has happened before, hasn't it? Like you really didn't think to grab a backup canister of gas?

And if they got divorced what would she even do, is the house hers? Who owns it??

Idk I don't hate Joseph but i don't trust him either. I'm #teamWomen

[polyhedraldreamgirl]

Some of my theories for Dragon Age 5!

I need to get this out of my head so here aaaare ..

Put your tinfoil hats on everybody, I did not do much research beyond what I already know and I'm going OUT OF POCKET!

Void, Retcon & Soul fragments

The game will heavily feature lore about/creatures from the Void.

The secret ending graphic pretty much confirms this idea for me (the black gaping triangle, also shaped like an eye), as well as it being a big unexplored thing in most of the lore that offers new angles. That don't necessarily need to be connected to alllllll the Evanuris stuff.

The speaker in the Secret Ending plus whoever their compatriots are are actually from the Void (at least originally), perhaps have been doing their Whispering and steering from there.

I'm certain they're going to hit us with a "these new creatures have been influencing Thedas ALL ALONG MWAHAHAH" line of thinking.

The secret ending at the end of Veilguard shows the Magister's Sidereal (who went into the fade & released the blight) Loghain, Bartrand, Meredith and Orsino, Corypheus, (Flem-)Mythal, Solas, Elgar'nan and Ghillai'nain all part of this plan/plot/progression. All of these people have at some point in there narrative made moves that could be described as deeply out of character. I'm especially in my *Leonardo DiCaprio pointing accusatorily* energy about this when I rewatched the scene where Loghain hires Zevran. He's staring into the fire, almost seeming like he's listening to something else. (I might be wrong, I probably am, but TINFOIL HATS BABYYYY)

The Void is essentially the antithesis to the Fade.

The fade brings life, energy, magic. The void holds death, magic-nullification etc. (See the mystery substance codex notes in Veilguard) Largely speaking, the Evanuris were "of the Fade" and the Forgotten Ones (or perhaps whoever these secret ending people are) are "of the Void". The Void that drove Andruil insane. The one the Forgotten ones were banished to (is this canon? I think so?), as the Evanuris were imprisoned in the Fade. More on this below in my Soul-diatribe.

Blood Magic came from the Void/these Void creatures. Perhaps was even taught by them.

Veilguard kind of defangs the whole "Old Gods taught Tevinter Blood Magic" by making the Old Gods (=Archdemons) simply voice boxes for the Evanuris because each Evanuris put a little bit of themselves into that Dragon. I sincerely doubt the original invention of blood magic will remain connected to the Evanuris as well, given everything they've already canonically ruined. I think the origin of Blood Magic lies somewhere else, especially since blood mages lose their clear connection to the fade.

Some or all of these creatures from the Void/speakers from the secret ending are the Forgotten Ones, or those the Forgotten Ones sought.

Yes, the forgotten ones were also powerful elves alongside the Evanuris. But they weren't imprisoned in the Fade, they were banished elsewhere. Their motives are different, as are their actions. Anaris using a Demon army kind of counters this theory, because demons are (ostensibly) from the fade, but what if the Void also has it's own kind of spirits? Once that are vastly different to those we know now? Idk spitballing here.

Anaris' last words pretty much confirm this for me, something about needing to escape from the Eye(s) - which fails, because of Rook. Wherever Anaris is banished to, something is there, and watching.

All of this connects into my biggest conspiracy idea:

Every mortal soul has two parts. One magical/mystical/spiritual Fade part, and one non-magical/grounded/earthly(?) Void part.

The original Elves who came from spirits would only have the former, but all those who were born of this world (Thedas) have something to them that decreases that pure connection to the Fade, another part of their being.

When the dead are encountered or resurrected, not all of them returns, although powerful mages are stronger (see Zara Renata's corpse scene with Emmrich). Emmrich states he believes in a "truer resurrection", aka the spirit that possesses a body is often, at least in part, the same spirit that belonged to the deceased.

Now what if...what IF that part that returns, those spirits that play out all of Thedas' dreams. The divine encountered in DA:I, what if those are just the FADE part of the soul? What if the soul has roughly two parts (Mythal splitting, the Evanuris binding to Dragons, Titans/Dwarves being split from magic shows us souls CAN split to some extent), one returning to the Fade, and the other returning to the VOID on death? What if Dwarves don't have any of that Fade Soul™, what if the rest of the world has a sliding scale amount depending on magic aptitude, elfiness™ and other genetics? What if the Veil caused people to just have a way larger amount of VoidSoul™, which is why everyone feels Tranquil to Solas? Because the Void would be anti-magic, un-emotion, un-life. What if resurrections through Blood Magic and other Blood Magic draws inspiration from the Void, thus tainting the Fade part of the soul, thus worsening the connection to the Fade? E.g. if the Veil fell, those with a high enough Fade-Soul™ percentage would be OK, while those with too much Void Soul wouldn't be able to survive/ascend (obligatory bible parallels mention, *cringe*).

I suppose three parts (Void, Fade & Earth is also possible, but I think the dichotomy would be more interesting.)

I could literally go on and on about this. It's by No Means a perfect theory and very much based on conjecture and vibes and most of the above proving true. But my conspiracy brain is doing overtime and I for one can't wait to see how Thedas' story continues and most importantly....

If weird grey masked entities doing influency heebeejeebie void stuff...

Why?

[ooc-but-stylish]

freezedive:

I think I said it in one of your other beautiful posts, but I thought I’d mention it again. All of the ridiculous cutscenes did give us a golden nugget of information on Luna that most of us who are brutally critical of her (like you and me), suspected all along: Luna openly admits to Gentiana that she doesn’t think she has anything to offer Noctis outside of being an oracle. And Gentiana makes it worse by speaking in fancy words by saying some bullshit about her being the oracle is her being human or something and that she is fulfilling her true calling and that is what Noctis needs? Idk but it reeked of emotional manipulation. 

I hold little to no regard for Ravus because there’s evidence Luna was being brutally beaten right under his own nose while he was busy being the Emperor’s lapdog thinking it could maybe give him the power to save his sister? The man should have opened his eyes and defended her against the men that kept them jailed

I happened on this reply to roxainn’s post while trying to recapitulate all my other FFXV critical posts and reblogs on the way to making new ones. 

Crawling back to find anything about this point, I find that it was posted 3 years ago. But at least I reblogged the reply to it.... and missed that it was literally @ ME. Goddamn did I slack.

But here’s my reply, 3 years late, which should elaborate on where I stand on this.

Yes, the flashback that gets triggered by a random creepy little girl in Tenebrae is about Luna and Gentiana. Somehow the little girl knew about that conversation even though she wasn’t there to witness it first-hand? Or maybe Noctis was imagining what the conversation would be like between Gentiana and Luna off of the vague suggestion from the girl, and it’s just him telling on himself that his imagination of Luna says all that? Otherwise the not-altogether-tinfoil-hat theory says it’s Gentiana in the form of a little girl, telling Noctis something that IMO should piss him off but just makes him sad and guilty because Luna loved him so much, don’t you see. She loved him so much that after wrapping her entire life around him, she’d just want to keep that going for the rest of their lives!

Gentiana opens the conversation with, “At first, the father had mourned the fate of his chosen son. Yet in Tenebrae, the two found solace. It was not the Oracle who assuaged their fears. But the girl…she holds…the true power.”

Then Luna replies, “I have little to offer a king, other than the voice afforded the Oracle. Nevertheless…” She turns to look at the wedding dress. “And—I’m afraid he might find this foolish… But…to be together with Noctis again, even if only for a short while… It…would mean the world to me. I do not seek to guide him, merely to stand beside him.”

The exchange is all types of fucky.

First off, she was twelve. What comfort could she have offered Regis and Noctis? What comfort was she capable of when Sylva was right there, an adult with experience of an Oracle and a personality thanks to a presumable full life not hampered by grooming of the gods? 

Second, every other scene of Luna as a child is of her telling Noctis his duty, and that it was her duty to see it through. Did that assuage his fears-- the fears he didn’t have at the time since he never knew the entire meaning of his fate and was being told a saccharine, embellished version of it by Luna right there? Did that comfort Regis, knowing a little girl would also die to protect his son if the gods wanted it, but that she wouldn’t have the will to avert their fates whatsoever? 

Third, even she thinks Noctis would think her desire to be with him is foolish. So... was she expecting that Noctis himself didn’t have feelings for her or want to spend time with her of his own volition for reasons outside of her job? She was looking forward to a marriage with no emotional security, where her desires are one-sided and unreciprocated, and the man she cares for think she’s worthless outside of her powers? She would’ve been willing to put herself through that, given a choice?

We know what we know and think what we think, but the fact that this was placed right in the vanilla game and no one thought that was wrong, and instead they doubled down on it in patches, is pathetic on their part.

Moreover, what does The Girl have, that was separate from The Princess and The Oracle? Every facet of her being wrapped around Noctis since age 4. She was nothing but her duty by the time Noctis met her; they had no scenes where they acted as children would. Even supplemental/promotional art for other XV media and related locales cement that. Little Luna serves Little Noctis pastries, she’s not seen eating with him. Luna teaches Noctis how to play piano, she’s not playing with him. Dawn of the Future came out with its own art, and Noctis is afforded the liberty to sit in a chair, and his son(?) sits on his lap, while Luna and her spitting image child(?) are both on their knees, looking up at the dudes. 

In most of their art together, Luna and Noctis are either not meeting each other's gazes, she's bending or kneeling to him, or he's supposed to be holding her close but he hover-hands her, or there’s that one time where they took a selfie and the picture was of their Pocket Edition versions. They’re still not looking at each other in that one. And it’s not canon.

Anyway yeah, any conversation Gentiana has with Luna about Noctis is emotional manipulation on Gentiana’s part, but the writers manage just enough to make everyone involved seem creepy and reprehensible in their own way. 

In DOTF, Luna has a death soliloquy that confirms she sunk into the water at the end of the game’s Chapter 9, but the soliloquy is about how she was prepared to die even at the age of 12, and she put on a smile and resolved to be strong for Noctis’s sake, so that he wouldn’t remember her having a look of despair. There’s a line there about how she would cry herself to sleep but Gentiana would wipe her tears. Gentiana does nothing else except allow her to cry and wipe her tears afterward, and makes no effort to save her from her fate or at least take her out of terrible situations so that she would cry fewer tears. But there is cut dialogue from the game, and used in the novel, where Gentiana revealed herself as Shiva when Luna was <16 (probably still 12 at the time), when she thought she was being held back from forming the covenants, so there’s that. And Luna still somehow ignored that this meant Shiva allowed Sylva to die, and thanked this useless goddess for her nonexistent generosity. 

For whatever reason they had to add a passage where Luna superimposes the image of an eight-year-old Noctis onto the adult version-- quote, "the image of him as a child, burned into my eyelids, overlaps with his now-grown face"-- even though Noctis has canonically sent her photos of him as a teenager (15-16, around the time he met Prompto in high school, see: Brotherhood). Granted, that's a translation from Luna's voice actress reading an excerpt as if it were first person POV. The English version says she sees the child image first, then the adult version is superimposed. Then not much after that there's a passage where Noctis smiles as his child self and it was "that smile she loved that had been in her heart all these years, giving her strength, always and forever".

So she was groomed and turned into a shell since age 4, believes she has no value outside of her job and turned her grooming on a similarly vulnerable child, and her strongest image of him, the one she fell in love with and kept in her heart, is of the helpless boy that promised her the world without knowing the cost. The smile of the carefree boy that didn't know his journey would end with his soul annihilated. It couldn’t have been that hard to have her see an image of him as the 30 year old True King of Light that he would become. At least she'd sound a little less like a weirdo who continually places herself (and is placed by the narrative) as below him, unworthy of him, etc. but also has strong feelings and memories toward a goddamn child.

Re: Ravus: you already got a reply to that, but for real? Ravus was also shafted by the plot and beaten down by terrible, amateur writing. The narrative shits on him as if it’s written by a high schooler or otherwise emotionally arrested adult trying to push a Mary Sue Protagonist. The modus operandi for those stories is that everyone who disagrees with the protagonist in any way has to suffer tremendous humiliation including but not limited to death, because the Protagonist Is Just So Good And Perfect And Always Right. 

Nothing Ravus does justifies his treatment in-game or in-fandom like he’s a one-note out-and-out villain who wanted nothing but to kill Noctis and disrespect his sister, to the point where his corpse is defiled multiple times in Chapter 13 and he’s twisted into a perversion of himself that begs to die.

Chapter 13 has Noctis land next to Ravus’s corpse and all his letters to Luna, and Noctis has piss all to say about it, either out loud or to anyone. He looks at the Sword of the Father, glances at Ravus, and without a word takes the Royal Arm and lets the Magitek arm-- still dripping, still gross-- fall onto Ravus’s body and doesn’t even move it.  

He had no way of knowing beforehand that Ignis and Gladio knew of Ravus being killed. WE didn't even know they saw security footage until Ch13V2 was added in. Noctis happening on his late fiancée's dead bro sounds, I don’t fucking know, like something you’d want to tell everyone else about later. Along with the letters he wrote evidencing that he intended to return the Sword of the Father to Noctis!

An aside: The Letters from Ravus are just weird to behold; it isn't 100% clear whether Luna ever received all of those letters. She had to have received the first one, at least. But the idea that Ardyn intercepted even one other letter so that Luna never heard from her brother between Tenebrae and Altissia is farfetched. He shouldn’t be able to intercept those messages as if they were delivered conventionally. Luna has a pair of magic space-bending Shiba Inu that send letters instantly across continents. If she’s sparing their use to send Noctis one-liners and stickers but can’t afford that for Ravus to send her discrete updates on Noctis’s status, she’s a piece of shit. 

They do meet in Tenebrae as Ravus wanted her to, and they have the conversation where he gets on her case about her “throwing [her] life away” for Noctis. So chances are higher that Ardyn only got a hold of all three letters after Luna received them and no sooner, but then he shouldn’t be tossing letters from Ravus at the dude’s body when it makes more sense for him to toss down letters to Ravus, since the writers wanted to make a point of Ardyn having a vicious streak. It makes way more sense for Ardyn to deprive Ravus of Luna’s writing, then insult him with them post-mortem, unless Ravus’s notes were really all he could acquire, meaning Luna never once wrote back to her brother. 

The Doylist explanation is that the writing team sucks and couldn't be assed to think of anything for Luna to say because they didn't think of her at all. The Watsonian explanation is that Luna’s a piece of shit and that tracks with her in Kingsglaive watching her brother burn alive in response to the Ring, but ignoring him and running to Regis’s aid instead, but then the rest of the plot presents her as morally pure through her white clothing and “unconditional, self-abnegating love” for Noctis.

Back to the topic: I don’t know, maybe I’m being old fashioned, but Noctis should’ve given more of a shit that his dropping the Magitek Arm on Ravus’s body was probably what turned him into a mutated abomination begging to die, and he thought so little of Ravus that the dude isn’t even in the glimpse of "people who helped me get this far" in the Beyond. Ravus doesn’t even get a spot to wish Noctis and Luna well on their afterlife wedding, not that it makes any sense for any of them to have words to say since Noctis is already dead, no one was there with them, and none of the bros expressed any sign that they knew that Noctis was bound to get married after his sacrifice (he sure doesn’t mention it in the final campfire scene and that’d be a better place than any). But anyway, Regis is in the Beyond at Noctis’s side even though he never told Noctis a damn thing and still never spoke to him from within the Ring, but Ravus? Nah, he’s the real asshole somehow and doesn’t deserve any recognition whatsoever.

The only other characters I know of that have a remotely similar dynamic to Noctis, Luna, and Ravus (lovers, but the girl has a straight-edge protective brother working for the bad guys) is Nero, Kyrie, and Credo (see: Devil May Cry), but as much as I think the writing in that series is hokey as fuck, at least the writer(s) for DMCs 4 and 5 had enough sense to make the love story simple and based it from a line from Amagasaki City-- “I love you, so I love the city that you love.”-- and opted against portraying Credo as an outright villain because if Nero killed him, Kyrie would resent him for it even though she knew Credo was working for the same Order that threatened her life. 

Shouldn’t Noctis care about the shit Luna cares about even if he has no personal investment in it or it’s inconvenient to him? Shouldn’t he care about Tenebrae and its prosperity? or about Ravus? Nah, it’s okay, Noctis doesn’t have to respect Luna’s love for her brother or her kingdom because for all intents and purposes, she doesn’t care for Ravus or for Tenebrae as much as she loves Noctis. Her love for Noctis and her looking forward to the wedding is what matters here.

The yaaaas queen vicious clapback from Kingsglaive!Luna about how Ravus is the Empire’s dog is especially rich coming from her when she’s fellating the gods all through the game even though Eos’s equivalent of The Holy Bible says the Hexatheon’s Revelations destroy cities and that undoubtedly means people are killed by the gods, and their summoner is complicit, because there’s no such thing as a perfect evacuation. See: "Revelations left great devastation in their wake, with entire cities being laid to ruin," noted in the Cosmogony long before the True King even exists. 

Luna herself didn’t see a problem with this and helped in the effort, with no regard to the collateral damage she would cause with the summoning: bonus points for the part where Leviathan is hostile to humanity and threatens to eat every living being if Noctis fails! She had even less regard to the damage Niflheim would cause in their attempt to kill the gods even though she was first-hand witness to them sacking Insomnia. Waking and defeating Titan deprived Lestallum of the meteor they derived power from. Waking Leviathan destroyed Altissia. Luna’s refusal to leave Insomnia when told to by Regis led to her being used as bait and taking the whole of the Kingsglaive out of Insomnia in time for their Face Heel Turn and Insomnia being destroyed. Everything else leads to the eventual World of Ruin where people also die. 

All because she killed herself prematurely from the covenants and didn’t hold back the longer nights as she promised to the public’s face and on her honor as Oracle she would do. Her dying words in Chapter 9 were her being completely satisfied with her fate because “[her] prayers were answered, [her] calling fulfilled”, even though the calling requires that she dies and she should’ve known better than anyone that her death, even if it was for Noctis’s ascension, would endanger the rest of the world for 10 years and helped the Starscourge spread. But instead of fighting for her own life to stem the plague for as long as possible, she let herself die under the belief that "Noct can handle this" to give him the chance to be the revered King of Light. She also didn’t make a single appearance on the world of the living in her spirit form during those ten years until Noctis needed help with a piddly imitation of the Magic Wall, only then does she come down in her ghost form with seemingly all of her power intact, and summons five of The Six as if Noctis can’t easily do it himself.

But Ravus is the lapdog? Luna’s the one with her “ends justify the means” behavior and what looks like general neglect for actual human beings.

Anyway, Ravus stabs Caligo in the back and kills him, and that move only makes sense in light of the idea that Caligo was manhandling Luna as seen in the Dawn trailer. Ravus was 16 when Tenebrae was overrun, and there’s no reason to believe he was magically immune to institutional abuse, so there’s a high chance that he was abused by the Empire too, held resentment of that, and waited for the time he’d be able to retaliate with no repercussions. Gentiana as a goddess is 1000000% more on the hook about letting Luna be beaten than Ravus is, since he saw his mother die in front of him while Regis ran away. Regis had the power of the Ring and could have used elemancy to put out that fire, or void magic to banish Glauca and his MT army, didn’t do that, but he totally spares enough magic during the treaty signing to toss around Thunder spells straight from his hand, cast barriers, and summon some Royal Arms straight at Iedolas, and that’s bad enough. Gentiana who’s been the Fleuret family attendant since Luna was born and also is Shiva who can freeze people with her fingertip had even less excuse to let that fire rage, to let Sylva die protecting her son, and to stand by and allow her ward(s) to get thrown around by some random Imperial soldier.

[mikyouknow]

YOUR TAGS ON THE "tell me you love me" CLIP , YES, SO TRUE! everyone was talking about how cute it was, while I was thinking about how different drm was acting the whole stream. gnf was most definitely exasperated during that clip, you can literally see him almost roll his eyes. idk what's up with them rn, but I find it so interesting the way they were both acting on last night's stream, and the last couple of streams from the previous days. the basketball stream first solidified that something was off with both of them, gnf was being passive agressive and dream was talking SO much about gnf ignoring him. then on the csgo stream dream seemed kinda moody too, but still wanted to play with them, and then on the bedwars stream he was moody AGAIN but still wanted to play with him. and I really liked that you pointed out that dream does leave v quickly when he's in a certain mood, so him leaving so fast was super interesting. I have no clue what's going on with dnf right now, but somethings just off, they still want to play and stream together, but there's something clearly going on behind the scenes that they'll probably throw under the rug soon 🥴

I’m glad you appreciated my Thoughts<3

I went tinfoil hat brainrot mode answering this and I know some ppl don’t like this stuff being discussed so as to not put it in anyone’s face, read at your own risk lmao:

But yeah I mean it’s Very clear something happened before the basketball stream.. And it seemed George felt moody during that, whilst Dream seemed to be extra clingy and attentive to him, (which I’ve noticed he does when he feels he’s upset George in some way, he like tries making up for it) but eventually in the cs stream it seems like he’s snapped over George not giving him enough attention, and going to play a game with others instead of bedwars with him is like recipe for pissed off Dream 😅 so he’s now the one being in a mood instead and idk I just felt there was something so earnest in his voice when he said ‘you don’t care about me’ 🥺

But this is what happens with them from time to time ! You see the charity stream when they were super close like my god the vibes in that was insanely soft and giggly, it was clear things were Very good between them during that and I think that’s a lot to do with the fact that they’d been spending a lot of time off stream just the two of them and the rest of their friends had been pretty busy so it had really been just them two, and their bond seems to truly Thrive during times like that when it’s just Them, 24/7, alone together and attention on each other and nobody else. That’s truly when they’re at their best.

However. You can tell things always get shaken up when others come into play and attention gets put on other people,, and others getting involved is normal but with them it’s like,, Dream esp can’t rly stand that 😬 I’m sorry to say it but like the proof is so Loud I’m just observing the man is obsessed with George and wants his attention 24/7 and for nobody else to have him 😭 the clip I posted “I want you to follow me around everywhere like a little puppy” HE MEANS THAT, that’s the Best way you could describe how he feels about George lmaooo 😭

But this isn’t the first time it’s happened like he really has shown a pattern of this and they always bounce back to their close dnf vibes again after some time - they just need some alone time again.

And again. Aaand again. And like, again. And then stay like that forever I guess, 😅

Or they need to find a better way about this like idk

C O M M U N I C A T I O N

Maybe, idk idk just a thought 🧍‍♀️

[titleknown]

Well, I’m right at the door and I got two folks suggestions! Tooth is better than none at least! But, this Toothsome Crown’s got nothing to do with the actual suggestions, so I got no idea why I made that pun! But imma show you anyway!

I got no idea where I got it, I think it has something to do with tooth fairies and how they’re dicks and Fairy Lords don’t even like ‘em, I dunno, but I do know it makes your teeth grow real good! Incredibly good! Dangerouously good! Fangoriously good! And sometimes you have to take the crown off they’re so good!

But, if you’re gonna wear it for a time, for the lovva the Space Gods In Funny Hats make sure to brush it and keep it clean! Bad things happen when you don't brush it! Necrotic things! And also NEVER wear it if you have Tate-Fairchild syndrome which I MUST REMIND YOU does not disable the Westermark Effect, some people just like to pretend it does because they’re horrible!

That last fact had nothing at all to do with the crown, I just thought Tate-Fairchild awareness was important, MOVING ONWARDS!

@nausicaaharris said:

Ooky, ya got any artefacts from underwater cultures, and/or artefacts related to the King in Yellow?

BOY DO I!

Got this one from Carki as a freebie, I’m pretty sure this Hand Operated Clammup was either a religious effigy or some kinda Muppet, tho a lot of places have a lot of overlap! And now it’s a glitchy nightmare come from delving too deep!

Too deep into what? I dunno! Probably not Cthulhu, thing’s the manatee of cosmic horrors I tell you that! It’s contagious tho with that glitchy nonsensemabobbery, and probably useful to sorcerors trying to break reality by altering their bodies to putz with the geometry! For cosmic bumfights or whatever!

I got big into this one in my Moderately-More-A-King-In-Yellow-Fan days! Bought it in bulk from a Little Shop That Wasn’t There Yesterday Opening Day/Going Out Of Business Sale!

I’m pretty sure it’s some sort of really bootleg-y Noh mask, with face-y bits made of what Google Translate tells me are the Japanese characters for No! So you too can wear a Noh Mask that is No Mask! No mask? God I love these puns!

Ain’t worn it though! Thing’s probably evil as hell! And, speaking of hell,

These Faust Masks are kinda a multiversal constant, no matter if you got your music stole or just want a big fancy kingdom at the cost of doing everything wrong! And it gives you the fancy powers of Hell! Sorta!

Well, it’s less than the original dudes, but hey, you get it without selling your soul/the world, so you get what you pay for! Or don’t pay for! I’m not a talksmith!

[Crap, hang on just a sec, I need to search out the other stuff in the box...]

AHA! And, here’s the other stuff by our other asker, who has a very good show on hiatus to produce a very good horror novel trapped in not-very-good development hell, @thehungryreader!

What can you tell us about that thing that looks like a jar of dried cat noses?

I'm also curious about that small medical vial with "♃ " on the label

Well my dear parson... I’d hadn’t the foggiest what you were referring to on the first one until I turned ‘em around. And also, how do you know the contents of this place? ARE YOU READING MY THOUGHTS?! IS THE DAILY TINFOIL I’VE BEEN FEEDING THE HAT NOT WORKING?!

Anyhoo, this is the Kitnose Kit Jar! Yanno how those super-special-awesome-prepared crocodile tongues make living things bigger? These kitty noses make nonliving things smarter! Instant tsukumogami! Even though a depressing amount of magicians don’t get theirs ethically, which is how I got this one. By punching a kitty murdering magician in the face. FOR THE GREATER GOOD!

Of course, if you leave ‘em in the jar long enough the jar itself comes to life. Which, I can’t take ‘em all out, just lookit that vague simulacra of a face? How can you say no? They do regenerate, since living and all, so if I just take a bit out o there I can use ‘em with no harm done! Except when Quentin gets mad I just brought that thrift-shop DVD pile to life. OH WELL!

This one’s called Stan’s Oil! I think it uses nanomachines to make your skin metal and tin-y, IDK, I got it off an infomercial. It said it came right from Oz, but I don’t buy it, and as Royal Oz Historian and Bad Opinion-Haver Regarding King K Rool, you probably don’t either! They used way too much form the movies man, you’d think they’d at least be sellin the meat glue, or gettin a Chopfyt endorsement or something!

Well, that’s why I went to Oz, but anyway, it’s a good body-re-enforcement oil, that you should NEVER EVER let get in the hands of a presidental candidate. Trust me, I played that game of whackamole a couple of years ago, it ain’t fun!

Welp, I gotta go, but if you find any of the stuff from this or the last one in your worlds dear readers, feel free to try and show off them as long as you credit this blog’s host, Thomas F. Johnson, under a CC-BY Vanilla License!

Cause, I gotta have somewhere to hang my heck, and he needs a place to shill his Patreon to stave off existential dread!

Gnight everybody!