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#idk what it is about these lines but they make me so emotional
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I love the way you write Logan, it's so comforting! Can't wait to see more of your work, it's lovely💗
Idk if this would be your thing so feel free to ignore obviously!
How do you think Logan's dynamic would be with a reader having intense intimacy issues, to the point where they struggle to even think about doing anything more than make out with him? I really haven't found any fic like that and I think that you would a concept like that more than justice
I do see him having some intimacy issues himself (traumatized wet cat💀)
this is so sweet, thank you so much! My brain immediately supplied a list of head canons, I hope that you enjoy <3
~ So I am thinking about Logan from the original trilogy for these in particular ~ He definitely has some intimacy issues, more so on the emotional intimacy side than physical intimacy ~That is, until he meets you. You're a professor at the school, and while he can tell you love the young mutants with a large part of your heart, you remain physically distant from them. When the Youngers ones reach for a hug, you meet them instead with a fist bump or a high five. Never cruel, but always setting your boundary. ~The first time you catch him noticing your habit, you expect him to roll his eyes, or hit you with a judgy side eye. Instead, he quirks his head and resumes what he had previously been doing. ~Eventually, the two of you start spending a lot more time together. He will nudge a cup of coffee your way, and ask after you when you have a headache. He never encroaches on your space, despite being quite touchy with the other faculty.
~You spend a week working up the courage to confront him about it, strategizing the best way to ask for the reassurance you want but have trouble asking for. You expect him to blow you off, but when you knock on his door, he ushers you inside and lets you choose where to sit in the room, choosing his seat to be close enough to show he is invested but far enough away for your comfort. It isn't even a conscious thought for him, it's natural. ~You fumble through your question, doing your best to explain your line of thinking, before eventually just spitting out "do you hate me?" ~He is so shocked that he doesn't know what to say for a few seconds, which only makes your anxiety feel worse. ~He takes a few seconds, collecting his thoughts, and then you can see the typical Logan smirk start sparkling in his eye again. "Sweetheart, it's a little hard to hate the person you're acting a fool over". Your eyes practically bug out of your skull, and he chuckles to himself. He is twitching in his seat, and you can tell he is trying his best to not gather you up in his arms. ~You extend a hand out to him, palm upturned. He takes it instantly. He raises your entwined hands halfway towards his mouth, before meeting your eyes and waiting for your reaction. ~You nod, holding your breath and he drops a kiss on the back of your hand, before adjusting so that he can kiss your palm as well. ~When he hears your heartbeat stutter, he is quick to hold your hand again, resting against his knee. He confirms that you feel the same way, insistent on getting verbal confirmation. Your face feels like it is on fire, but you reply in the affirmative. "We are going to take this as slow as you need. I... I care about you so much, and your comfort always comes before anything else." ~You feel a few tears well up, and he moves to wipe them away as they begin to fall. Again, he pauses before actually making contact with your face, waiting for your gentle nod. ~From that day on, you are even more attached at the hip than before. Logan loves knowing that you are with him for more than his body, and he is constantly making sure that you know how much he values you. ~Overall, I just imagine him being very sweet and understanding and taking it as slow as you need. He is protective of you when you meet new people, often coming in between you and others who are not as considerate as he thinks they should be. Definitely sends his protective instincts into a bit of an overdrive, but you also appreciate having the scary dog privilege when you are out in public as well. People are definitely giving you a wider berth than you are used to. You always feels safe and taken care of with him, which is exactly how he wants it to be
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tiyoin · 2 days
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Tiyoin, I'm starting to yapping again. So I've been thinking about expanding more on the contest in the twst singer au. Like the outfits, posable songs, duets(?), posable challenge in the contest(?), the magic ✨,etc. Side note posable doesn't seem like a real word
For the outfits Vil would have mostly have control over them. Like he'll ask reader about fabrics she likes or give them a few designs to pick from but that's about it. 🌀 would probably wear simple just elegant outfits. Looking good enough to belong there w/o sticking out.
The fits definitely have a purple/blue base/ she has wears accessories that shows others that 🌀 kinds belongs to Vil/ Rook cuz rook is always here and never ever leaves(I think I have a problem). I like to picture the purple getting darker as reader progresses though out the contest as a way to show development in reader/overall.
Next, part of the outfits are the magic masks. With the masks you would only see the contestants' mouth, chin/jaw area. And the magic just makes it hard for people to figure out who is singing. Obviously with different themes/vibes the outfits and masks change with them.
Now onto the duets. In the voice they have the contestants do duets with each other right? So I was thinking there would be smth similar. Maybe with the judges, someone they picked w/o the mask(Rook) or, with a different judge(Neige?) so there's not like any cheating/favoritism ya know?
Like Rook &🌀 singing everything has changed. There's a line that says green eyes and freckles. Idk if rook canonically has freckles but it's a cute though and maybe they're hard to see 🙈 so he's like "🌀 has been staring at me*kicking feet while giggling*"
I'm going to start yapping about what I've been most excited for. The ✨magic✨. I was thinking that they could be fairies like Tinkerbell orrrr they're just little balls of light that fit in your hand. Like they all have little personalities, emotions, families everything.
Overall just mini friends for 🌀. They have different teams for all the contestants but, none of them ever treat them well or acted like they're just tools and, bcuz of that they never do more than the minimum for the contestants.
I think reader is the type to be nice/polite to everyone till there's a reason not to. A treat people how you want to be treated way and, bcuz of that they really help 🌀 in and out if the contest.
I personally like they being little balls more. It seems sweeter/more comforting/ genuine for them and reader that way. Picture them playing in the woods with reader just having fun 💞💞
But If you like them more Tinkerbell like it can be like a seasonal job for them. Imagine how cute it would be if 🌀 sings a love song and 2 of them start dancing together💘(too young by Sabrina Carpenter?)
For the challenges I was thing maybe a writing on. Like theyre given a word/place/object and have to make a song around it and Vil can only help reader a little bit. Maybe that have a acoustic round were the fairies can't help at all. Or they sing a different language.
Honestly I think the hardest part of this is finding the songs. I can so see 🌀 writing most of their songs based off their dreams/stories they read. Tbh I've been listening to So long London the whole time typing this and, can see 🌀 winning a challenge with it. Cuz the other would write/do really poppy songs and reader comes out with the opposite vibe.
Vil & Rook would be there when reader writes it/perform it for the first time and, they're blown away. Like yea they knew wrote her own songs but they never thought it would be that good.
I'm sorry I know I said songs and it turned out only being one. I just don't know what happy songs to give to reader. 😕 Reader just give "I hate feeling this way but i find comfort in the way I feeling" ya know?
ANYWAYS I hope you get a good night's sleep and I love today's chapter. I honestly thought u were writing about me for a moment that's how badly I was relating to 🌀. Sorry if there any mistake it's another 3-4am ask.
MELLLLLL MELLLLLLLLLLLL
VIL AND ROOK WOULD ABSOLUTELY SUBTLY STAKE A CLAIM ON READER VIA CLOTHES. the clothes they wear are 100% pomefiore inspired threads that they designed and crafted themselves. maybe crewel catches wind of this and it becomes a WHOLE fashion operation that mc does NOT want to be apart of (maybe she does, but doesn't feel like she's worthy enough for any of these nice things/ to be pampered over like this)
if the octotrio somehow finds out about this, I can imagine azul or one of the twins making a comment (if mc wears a lilac color that day) that mc looks 'beautiful in octanvinelle's colors and that it suits her more than those saturated colors she's normally wrapped in..' only for vil to take lilac completely out of her wardrobe OR keep it to a minimal 😭
imagining that the masks that get sent to the participants are normally blank, white mascarade masks, but because they're magic they alter with the theme. and so when new one comes out the mask changes to that theme and the participants can make their outfits around the masks.
WITH THE DUETS I CAN IMAGINE NEIGE SIGNING UP FOR THE CONTEST AND THEM GETTING PAIRED UP, ONLY FOR VIL TO RECOGNIZE HIM AND GET PISSED TF OFF😭
"I heard that aggitating, grading voice-"
'maybe I shouldn't of signed up to be a judge....' well thinks with anger as he watches the two of you practice via mirror. im imaging the duets are something like the duets in 'the voice' where you both sing against each other but also with each other.
but also, for some fun, and for a harder round, maybe you have to pick someone in your life (maybe that fits a theme or category?) to sing with you?
and im so glad savannaclaw rook's card came out because our weird king has freckles!! wohoo!!
rook picking a song that kind of describes mc through the lyrics and every time he gets to a line like that he makes -prolonged eye contact- with mc and it kinda messes them up because WHY ARE YOU STARING AT HER LIKE THAT- SIR- SIR???
MEL YOURE A FUCKING GENIUS
I NEBVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT FAIRIES
THEY COULD BE THE WORKERS WHO ARE TASKED BY THE COMPETITION TO HELP THE CONTESTANTS STAY WITHIN THE RULES AND TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING GOES SMOOTHLY
I was thinking the exact same thing tbh, the fairies are treated horribly by the fame hungry contestants who only see them as 'measly employees' or even 'personal servants' to them via the show. but mc would be a little frightened by their gruff attitude but over time, as mc starts treating the fairies with upmost respect and kindness... they start telling their friends and the other fairies. and yeah, they start to favor mc and subtly and I mean SUBTLY sabotage the other contestants
ofc if beige was a contestant he'd treat hem nice too, but the fairies are kinda annoyed by him being TOO kind. because fairies are sassy, VERY sassy .
maybe to everyone else they're balls of light but to the contestants they're fairies? or maybe they only let you see their true form if they like you or trust you enough!
mc singing a love song and a bunch of 'fire flies' start dancing and twirling around them, only for it to be later released that it was the fairies. MAYBE A FAIRY WAS SCOUTING FOR NEW PARTICIPANTS AND THEY COME ACROSS MC AHHHH (at the end of the song when one is on mc's hand it bites her 😭 later that's her assigned fairy)
maybe after losing horribly one round mc is sad and singing a sad song, but the fairies come around and start playing and singing along until it becomes a happy song and they're all dancing. maybe... the fairy that at fist didn't like mc accidentally leaves the camera rolling and the whole of twisted wonderland actually SEES the fairies dancing and singing and playing with mc.
and there's a secret vote that no one in the history of the show has ever gotten. its called 'the fairies favor,' and its only bestowed to those who got eliminated but the fairies disagree with it and veto the vote. but the viewers have to agree with it?
the challenged are gonna be so weird ngl. like one is a theater challenge and another is writing your own song too. the show likes to make it hard- I mean entertaining so the viewers dont get bored. so you TRULY have to be a jack of all trades for this.
I haven't listened to that but I'll def give it a whirl 😼 I like to think that reader is really expressive through song and can come out with bangers. like I think that she def wins a challenge with 'wildflower, by billie eillish' after something bad happens. or maybe 'Andromeda, by weyes blood'
but the songs that mc uses to express her experiences and emotions make rook and vil develop a soft spot for her, and because they're really the only ones who know about all this, she slowly becomes a member (unofficially) of pomefiore (yes! evil scheming DOES work >:) )
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letsgetrowdy43 · 2 days
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lowkey feeling some angst (said me never) like maybe nico gets hurt really hurt on the ice (like doesn’t get up for a while) and it was after an argument him and angie had when the team still didn’t know they were official. and angie goes crazy and has to be held back by someone (jesper?). idk just an idea!
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Omg yes!! It could have happened at the end of last season, and both of them are trying to make it to the end of the year after an injury-riddled season (2023-24 was rough for them).
Despite the seasons setbacks, Angie had begged Coach Green to let them play on the same line for just one game before the end of the year. After all, their off-ice chemistry was undeniable, so why not see if it translated onto the ice? Green had reluctantly agreed, but it felt like the world had other plans that night as they were no longer in play off contention so really it felt like wasted games.
Their pregame had been thrown off after a slight argument that Nico had started after bringing up their summer plans, hinting that he wanted to be invited to the lake house. Angie still a little on the fence about inviting him to the lake house and finally telling boys that they are, in fact, together. Nico felt like she was purposely sabotaging their relationship and Angie, flustered by her own fear of taking that next step, snapped at him.
Soooo they hadn’t fully made up before the game, and now, the tension lingered into their dynamic on the ice, which caused Green to separate them onto two different lines after playing a shitty first period together.
Then came the second period.
Everything had led up to the slightly dramatic, but also very traumatic moment where Nico had the puck when someone blindsided him with a hit that flipped him around and slammed him against the ice. It wasn’t just a routine fall—this was different, even the crowd could feel it as they gasped while Nico crumpled to the ice, unmoving.
For a moment, Angie was frozen on the bench, her brain struggling to process what she was seeing as he gaze flipped from Nico to Green who was now motioning fo rthe medics to get on the ice.
But then the panic hit as she dropped her gloves and stick on the ground.
She was halfway off the bench before she even realized what she was doing, her skates hitting the ice as she made a beeline for Nico. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. The argument from earlier swirled in her head—how stupid she had been.
Really, her motives could be summed up as her being the only Alternate captain actually playing in the game (Jack was out for the rest of the szn at this point), but to a few guys on the team, these moves were a lot less calculated then the normal angie reaction.
Jesper Bratt grabbed her arm, pulling her back before she could get too close to the scene in front of them. "Angie, wait—let the medics handle it!" "I should be there," she said firmly, trying to pull free from Jesper’s grip, her voice breaking as she watched his expressions often, almost like he clued in a little that stronger emotions were floating around, "I need to—" "Let them do their job!" Jesper’s voice was firmer than she had ever heard before but still had that gentle tone to it. Angie struggled against him, but he held her back as the medics rushed onto the ice.
"Go talk to the Refs, okay, we still need a leader," he motioned towards the guys in tripes who were rewatching the tapes over and over again to decipher whether the hit was legal or not.
Her heart was pounding, every second feeling like an eternity as her eyes flipped between him and the refs, who weren't even attempting to speak to her, as she demanded some sort of penalty for their captain being knocked unconscious.
Nico still wasn’t moving, and with every few seconds she felt herslef going crazy.
Angry tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as the refs yelled at her, and she yelled back, her throat tightened with frustration at the turn of events, and before she knew it, she was ejected from the game and down the tunnel, following Nico close by.
But as she left the ice, she could definitely tell that the team could read the tobe change that had overtaken the captain and alternate captain and that whatever going on was at a deeper emotional level than they could ever understand.
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Idk if that's what you were envisioning, but I can def see her going either completely batshit or like so overcome with emotions that she's not sure what to do other than get mad and cry (average girl experience)
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wanderingblindly · 11 hours
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞
oooooooh this is so cruel, how dare you make me consider my fics this way????? reflecting on this made me realize that a lot of my personal favs are actually my less popular ones. that makes sense, in a way; often my favorites are where i'm trying to express a really specific emotion or idea, which might not always resonate with people? anyways, ordered from oldest to newest:
Eighteenth Summer (Do You Wish We'd Fall in Love?)
ambient, pining, sort of sepia toned vignette filtered lestappen. i remember really wanting to capture the ambiguity that comes with being 18 and finishing high school -- a new future looms even when you feel like you haven't finished living what you have now. very much being on a precipice, but with a happy ending :)
You Bring Me Closer To God
i literally fucking love this universe so much. even if the fic wasn't special, writing all the dynamics between the bandmates, between the bar flies, between oscar and lando... it was such a joy. i still think about writing more within Dirty Blondes all the time.
I Know Your Name (But Not Who You Are)
lestappen in grief! the passage of time! the fear that life has somehow stopped moving on but also changed more than you can stomach! wanting things from your childhood but having to accept that you can never go back! but perhaps learning that moving forward is beautiful, too! yet another one where i entered it trying to capture a specific feeling, and i think i managed to like... use the setting in a way that achieved that.
Someone in Seattle
i like this one because i managed to write a fic i'd love to read. i love fics that explore the soft, meandering development of relationships -- the ones where falling in love is a bit of a blurry line, and it happens just by the nature of truly Seeing each other. it's a love letter to my home, and i think of her very fondly.
Impasse of Biting
THIS IS THE ONLY FIC WHERE I FEEL LIKE I GOT EVEN CLOSER TO LIKE. SOMETHING YOU COULD ANALYZE. THERE ARE CHARACTER MOTIVATIONS! THERE'S SPECIFIC WORD CHOICE! THERE'S UNRELIABLE NARRATION AND COMPLICATED EMOTIONAL TIES! idk. it's one that i feel like each reader could come away with something wildly different, and (as someone who doesn't often deal in ambiguity), that makes me proud.
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crowsgrudge · 1 year
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fionna's world being represented by a dandelion makes so much sense ... they're weeds. yet people make wishes through them, changing their whole meaning from something meant to be destroyed to something hopeful.
dandelions are also resilient and it makes sense that something associated with them would. you know. perservere despite the destruction caused by the scarab.
but ultimately i think what REALLY made me tear up over this is that dandelions are really boring plants. when you're a kid you blow on them and make your wish but they're not eyecatching or anything but still, fionna's final wish was for her old world to still exist as it was when she left it (> plain and simple. boring even).
like the moment she realized she would lose her friends, and that her friends might forget each other if the world got its magic back, she immediately decided she didn't want it and I think that ties back to the dandelion metaphor so well... like, do you really need magic to be real to find it everywhere? or can you turn something boring into something magical?
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jessamine-rose · 21 days
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*squeezes aine this time*
Read my Yandere! Dottore fics first (⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)
Chemistry ๑ Magnum Opus
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So @ainescribe decided to surprise me with more Darling fan art, this time of Dottore’s Assistant!! *sobs* I love it so much 。゚(゚´ω`゚)゚。
Once again, feedback will be in the tags. Thank you so much for enjoying my writing, Aine <3
#feedback#fan art#ainescribe#AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE ( ;∀;)#THE FACT THAT YOU DREW THIS?? AND SO SOON?? give me a moment. i need to cry happily#fun fact aine has made jokes about assistant and 'dead-eyed desi trauma' so my first thought when seeing this fan art was#'wow you can rlly see the desi trauma in her eyes' xD i say this both jokingly and seriously cuz AHH HER EXPRESSION!!#it's hard for me to describe visual art + techniques but you did such a good job at depicting assistant's emotions#is it bc of the thicker line art used for the eyes + eyebrows?? the lil eyebags/ creases under her eyes?? the uneven shading for her irises#all of that combined with her jaded facial expression and body language?? idk but just know that i love this depiction of assistant#especially since her emotions are an important aspect of her character design (to me at least)#moving on i love your original design for her. once again it's always interesting to see how my readers imagine and depict my darlings#and the way you drew her including the pose and design....she looks like a character from an animated show or visual novel!!#just put her name. caption. and dialogue on the side then she's ready to be romanced. 100% the fan-favorite character <3#i rlly like how you drew her hair!! it looks very fluffy and voluminous (sorry idk many terms for haircare either)#the scar is an interesting detail. makes me wonder if she got it before. during. or after the akademiya?? from an expedition/ experiment??#either way. ohohoho the potential....i imagine the scar serving as a lifelong reminder to assistant of what she has sacrificed for her#scientific curiosity and career. not to mention that the scar is located on her FACE which is 1) the body part most crucial to a person's#identity 2) makes the scar difficult to ignore. to the point that some people may recognize assistant's face mainly bc of her scar#poor assistant. at least dottore is one to appreciate such traits. i can see him administering first aid or lovingly tracing the scar......#moving on to her uniform. i love that it's practical but also stylish in its own way. a perfect balance methinks uwu#the patterned lapels. the lil brooch. the leather armbands. the fatui symbol. the tucked shirt and high-waist pants.....aaaahhhh i just#love these small details!! and it does look like smth which a fatuus would wear on the job~#i think that's all i have to say on assistant!! once again. thank you thank you THANK YOU FOR EXPRESSING YOUR LOVE FOR MY WRITING AND MY#DARLINGS!! it means the world to me and i'll always cherish our rambles and brainrot <3#dottore x reader#yandere dottore x reader#yandere fatui harbingers#fatui x reader#genshin x reader
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tibtew · 1 year
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this image was always painful but now that we have more context on it, it's straight up just driving me insane
the fact that dongbaek and yi sang are at the front, but dongbaek is hiding her hands.... the fact that gubo is off to the side and looks anxious almost.... the fact that dongrang stands at the back (fully at the back, to me it looks like he's standing behind even the guy he's shoulder-to-shoulder to) and is the only one not looking at the camera, his heart not truly in it...
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ozymoron · 7 months
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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)
#⚠️#personal#having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason#cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin#clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person#regardless of what the actual post is about#i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions#cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have#the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy#idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person#the fact i even struggle with this#sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me#maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared#cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping#how much is too much when do i stop#<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense#like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of#those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do#this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something#cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man#im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion#i feel like most times its both#i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like#showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online#idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd#vent#so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again#lord i need to get out of here
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cerealmonster15 · 8 months
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dropping everything to look up zodiac compatibilities. for fictional characters. for fanfiction purposes.
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yusuke-of-valla · 3 months
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Some days I wish more people actually played Pokemon for the plot so there's incentive to improve on the plot's weak points
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hauntingblue · 7 months
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'You betrayed us' 🧍🏻‍♂️
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waywardsalt · 11 months
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Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.
Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!
the answer ended up being really long lol
Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...
Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)
other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.
there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.
nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.
the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.
honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.
now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.
honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.
i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.
other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.
yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.
#asks#zeldanamikaze#salty talks#i think for media to really fuck me up there has to be some kind of intense emotional aspect to it or have some specific visual stuff#my enjoying of berserk is proof that it takes specific stuff to really get to me. the way i tested if id be fine reading berserk is so#fucked in hindsight. i straight up looked up the two most infamous eclipse chapters online and read them to make sure id be fine#what the fuck. i just dove in head first fucking god#anyways yeah. like berserk is generally fine for me but cowboy bebop episode 20 did have me a lil fucked up. its so good#ive been looking more into horror stuff recently and i have a lot of respect for (well-executed) horror games like damn. i wanna play#silent hill 2 so bad. it's a really interesting genre when pulled off effectively on a level deeper than just 'oh look at this scary thing'#anyways. i recently watched mononoke and its not really horror just kinda unsettling. its so fucking good#tbh tho there are some fanfics ive read that did actually fuck me up (which is why i kinda have an aversion to angst)#but i didnt want to talk abt those bc i dont want to name names or anything. theyre good fics they just affected me pretty negatively#generally its more like. freaky irl things that fuck me up but thats not fun to talk about its just like. depressing#sorry it took so long to reply to this i hadnt really sat down to write it or anything an just. couldnt think of much lol#anyways ig bottom line is that its more likely for non-horror stuff to fuck me up? or its gotta be specific stuff idk#i played a few hours of portal 1 at a friends house years ago and for some reason it creeped me out a whole lot#strangely enough i dont think scooby doo mystery incorporated fucked me up when i first watched it#i think there was like 1 episode that scared me more than the rest but it was never too bad#and that show is regarded as likely the most actually scary scooby thing. its rlly good#im pretty sure scooby doo was my first (or one of my first) special interest#also (similarly) i dont really get nightmares too often my dreams are just kinda really weird most of the time#i did actually have like. a scary dream recently but i dont know if id fully call it a nightmare
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septembersghost · 2 years
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fwiw I would read your essay on the Memphis album ☺
😭 thank you honey, it's worth a lot
#i probably won't ever share it because it feels silly and emotional and nobody needs to see that#idk if it's an essay as much as it is a collection of thoughts about#the themes of the songs and the way it's structured and contrasts with the sonic styles and so on because it's got a lot of layers#opening with: i had to leave town for a little while...#the specific way he transforms only the strong survive#long black limousine being the first track recorded which. i.#such a powerhouse of a song but i cannot HEAR#there's a long line of mourners coming down our street; their fancy cars are such a sight to see#they're all of your rich friends that knew you in the city and now they finally brought you home to me#without crying#and conjuring up specific images of a procession of cars#it just makes my heart hurt so much. but still i listen#i'll never love another! oh my heart all my dreams ride with you in that long black limousine#that record is everything i love it so immensely#i'm giving him a grammy for aoty retroactively btw#again. i need a tag for these posts so you all don't have to be subject to them. the el files.#the fact that true love travels on a gravel road and any day now and gentle on my mind#and in the ghetto and power of my love and i'm movin' on and----all of them exist on the same record#(and TECHNICALLY suspicious minds and kentucky rain. insane)#the tracklist on the physical and on streaming are different but it's mind-blowing what came out of those sessions#revelatory and beautiful and sometimes so sad it's eerie#see? writing this out coherently would be too much probably#anonymous#letterbox
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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i'm thinking of hermes again gahhh HIS CHARACTER IS SO INTERESTING TO ME I LOVE HIM
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#despite my fondness for his character. i really don't agree w what he ultimately did#though i probably strongly relate if i was in his shoes i may be compelled to just. bring about the end of the world as well 💀#he cld've found another way to. deal w his suffering? but.. it rlly must've been lonely tho i think. to be different in. such a society.#it's. interesting rlly. bcs the ppl of etheirys generally think death is beautiful. in a way#once they've fulfilled their duty sufficiently they go to die n they say it is beautiful#hermes though.. sees death everyday w the animals. sees how they r afraid of it. of how they want to live#etheirys is so flawed. no wonder hermes was that way n. he's undeniably flawed as a person too#hermes is. an emotional n sensitive character i think. good at heart. but#god that line in the first part of yk '...until what remained could be molded into a socially acceptable shape.' i think that says a lot#hermes is v special to me bcs. idk wtf i really realize i am drawn to characters that.. i think i cld. help in some way. want to help#sob imagine how interesting n fun it wld be to aid hermes in his research#i really don't know how to phrase it but much of hermes' character is bcs of the society of etheirys#i saw this on twt too n.. i really do like to believe that after that incident in ktisis. he eventually made his peace w their mortality#it just. makes me a bit sad how he threw all of that away to be a part of his society in a way#i wish he.. cld've held on a bit tighter to himself. i don't think his emotion or his sensitivity or empathy was ever weak#but i think. it hurt being alone. feeling different. being faced w such an inevitable end n.. yeah#i really think that if he weren't alone in his suffering then he'd be so much more diferent.#aaaa he's a v special character to me indeed :^) i wish he lived at least. to see where his answers led#sob i need closure still i wish his soul wld converse w the wol or smth. but. 'a question of life'.. his side story perhaps is enough#still. i rlly want to give him a long warm hug n all the love in the world 😔#fandaniel in extension is also a rlly interesting character to me. with amon.. 'hermes wld weep at the man i have become'#or something like that. honestly hermes rlly is a good person at heart but.. yeah :^)#i really loved how endwalker even moreso than shb yk. challenged morality. blurred the lines even further#hermes' actions brought end to so much & caused so much suffering too BUT if he wasn't suffering himself then it wldn't have happened#to put it in one simple way at least. from my own perspective. his actions rn't justified still but they can be understood. i understand.#the way they.. treated the animals as lesser n how many of the amaurotines didn't care much for their lives.#hermes rlly is empathetic i think. &.. lonely? yeah. n arrogance was one of the downfalls of etheirys in a way. imho#yh there's a lot i cld say abt this but i think this is. good enough for now ><
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astrxealis · 2 years
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read. a translation of the audio drama and i haven't listened to it yet so idk just HOW exactly it is just wow i am. wow
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#eyebrows furrowed (idk how to explain this emotion. this feeling)#this is so complex... complicated...... i honestly am not sure anymore. i think fuuta deserves to be forgiven but?#the thing is he's. wow. he found out the deal with milgram which is impressive#and he's the kind of guy who puts up a sort of 'front'. and tbh the 'excuses' he makes are very understandable#<- single guy who takes the blame for the sins of many#the thing is that he still doesn't yk... but he obviously feels guilty even if he keeps denying that he /killed/ them#yeah this 2nd trial for fuuta is more on his guilt and his yk towards himself and to es and to milgram#fuuta. what an interesting character for real#i'm a bit scared honestly bcs i think if he's voted 'guilty' he might... commit yk#the line he drew over his picture in the mv w the rest of them. a red line crossing his neck. yeah#but being voted guilty restrains you physically and mentally right? that's why i'm fine w voting haruka guilty#but i'm still conflicted about that too ngl but ultimately innocent -> guilty -> innocent works for him. but idk for fuuta...#guilty -> innocent -> innocent imo. maybe guilty -> guilty -> innocent but i don't really think so but idk#the thng is rn i'm doing the exact thing es and fuuta fought for (?). not in an entertainment way bcs i'm yk eyebrows furrowed and all#but in a way that i'm still. partaking in deciding the fates of these characters. do i even have the right to?#especially with regard to fuuta for me considering i see myself in him. just not as stubborn and in denial.#so interesting and worrisome and. wow. milgram is so genius#i sincerely doubt milgram will have any sort of happy ending... i wonder what are the possibilities the writers planned for?
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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Its SO upsetting how often the bad guys don't get to have a lasting turnaround. You see it with random side characters, but c'mon guys. Just let them go to prison for a little while and have them come back. I promise you do not have to kill a character off, or base the character off a real life person, thus narrowing their chances of a return even thinner, while building up the possibility of a comeback. This franchise has cursed me with such lovable characters I'll never see again, and my heart can't keep at it like this.
I'm gonna have to just take that suddenly-dropped-off-a-cliff-storyline into my own hands. Gotta pick up all the slack. They're too good at giving tender, heart wrenching moments to characters we'll never see again. Way too good.
Not sure if you know the streamer Crystal, but her reaction to the ending of 3 was the most extreme I've ever seen. She was full on breakdown sobbing, and even the chat was asking if she was okay. RGG look at the hearts you're breaking out here 🙃 Also, your posts about Mine and that ending are beautiful, and you could talk about it a million times. It'll never get old.
the most egregious- pardon the pun- execution of this trope in rgg games is aoki's death.
like legitimately, his death did not need to happen. the past antagonists you could make a decent point for why their deaths were justified (ryuji's probably being the goofiest ngl) but aoki's felt as though rgg was just checking off a to-do list.
i don't really watch rgg content creators, but if someone could send me a clip of that i'd be down to watch: always a fan of watching people be emo over Y3's ending
and speaking of, thank you i have strong enough mental illness that all i can do is talk about that scene over and over again :)
#snap chats#the worst part is im only partially joking about being mentally ill#like i just think of that one directioner fan being a super fan until they took medication and then they were normal#pretty sure if i did the same I Too would have shut up four months ago but to our benefit/dismay medicine's hard to get so <3#i am simply a dog chasing its tail and by that i mean i will simply talk about mine and y3's ending until i die#or until my mental illness latches onto something else idk#but yeah it sucks dick how rgg does so many great and emotional scenes#but like. we never get to fully see that pay off with characters like mine or aoki#like i want to see them have to face the consequences of their actions- ESPECIALLY mine#mine makes me the most deranged Obviously but i just want to know how daigo would react and treat him#we only get a semblance of how daigo felt after Y3 via the rggo story but its not enough#i want daigo to be upset with mine i want mine to HAVE to work things through with daigo#because unfortunately i dont think daigo would just cut mine off i think he still would try to figure out what the fuck was going on#idk i just need something to happen to mine that crushes him and has him rethink his ways a bit#'crushes' yk like. something beside the pavement---#i wouldnt want him to totally change tho. i like him deranged but just channel that deranged behavior to their benefit#brb thinking about mine saying he wouldnt be acting up if daigo didnt get shot again jesus christ i think of that line every day#OK I HAVE TO GO DO A COMM RN ACTUALLY I'LL BE MENTALLY ILL LATER BYYYE FEEL FREE TO SEND ASKS AND ENABLE ME
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