#idk what city has the most job opportunities but also allows for us to have some fucking SPACE

[campingwiththecharmings]

trying to move to a state you haven't been to in literal decades is not easy, y'all 🥲

[gonnahypatia]

Ch.44 Review: OP is mad at Garden

(Analysis also posted on Wise HQ, feel free to chat with us over there! 🤍🖤🤍)

My my, we have a lot to unpack this week.

Again, forgive me if I say something that someone else has said, I usually work to bring something new/original to the discussion but since the hivemind is so strong it's possible we'll have the same ideas lmao''

First, I'd like to talk about our new mysterious character: The Shopkeeper.

I'm already missing Bluw's design because the assassin granny was just the best, but I can say that Endo's choice was very interesting this time. Since I'm not sure if the Shopkeeper has confirmed pronouns, I'll be using they/them when referring to them. What stands out to me about them at first is that they're, apparently, non-white and if I had to make bets, I'd say Endo wanted to code them as Indian/Middle-Eastern, considering the deep eyebags and the collar of the shirt. If we wanted to go even further, I'd dare to point out their garden doesn't look very Western to me. I don't have words to describe it well, but this garden has a more "busy", crowded and stuffy feeling when compared to western gardening styles, which usually have a lot of open areas with grass. Also, we can see that tower/turret thing at the background that has a more Indian architecture feel to it, so Idk, either Endo put a lot of depth into this character or I am reading too much into it as always lel'. If any Indian / Middle-Eastern folk can confirm or debunk my analysis of fictional gardens, please feel free to hit me up at the DMs~~

About Shopkeeper's opinion on Yor's marriage, I can't say I'm surprised about them not being 100% on board with it and how it affected her job, but it intrigues me how apparently (as Tare pointed out on Discord based on the Indonesian translation) Yor presented this as a real deal and not a scam marriage purely for hiding her Thorn Princess persona. If the Shopkeeper knew it wasn't real, they wouldn't be so worried about "testing" Yor as soon as they met, right? Maybe they're being overly cautious, who knows, but it fills me with all the sad/fluff feelings the thought that Yor presented her family as a real one to a person she shouldn't have to hide anything about, considering her job should be top priority. And talking about hiding stuff...

Garden is with the Mob... And I don't know what to say about it lol'

I had my theories they were still legal to some extent and part of a shadow government that had the official one as a puppet, but their involvement with the Mob makes things kinda tricky (we can also imagine the Gretcher organization is anti-Westalis as well but still...). In a way, I think I'm still right, otherwise I doubt Yor's manager at City Hall would be involved with this as well, so I still stand by my Legal Garden flag.

However, Yor's principles here also make me throw fire at my planning boards because sweetie, this is the f*cking Mafia. To what extent goes the gray morality of Garden and their underlings? Shopkeeper does say the Gretchers have controlled Ostania's underworld in "an honorable fashion". Just what does it mean? To shed the less blood possible? To not allow petty criminals go rampage? Or just eliminate every single enemy in the radar so now they finally managed their revenge in killing the male heirs? There's too much going on here, help.

I would also like to dedicate a minute to our new favorite milf.

God, I am going to simp for Olka hard, I bet on it. She's so pretty, just look at her! Also, sorry to rain on everyone's parade, but while I really crave some mothers bonding time between her and Yor, I have a feeling this lady will be very evil when the time comes. She shouldn't trust nobody at this point, so if there's a moment if she has to sell out Yor, even knowing she has a family of her own at the ship, I feel like she'll do it in a heartbeat, in a twisted way of showing how far a mother's love goes for their children. Again, guys, she's a Cool Mom, but she's also Mafia. Endo already has shown to not pity these gray characters with angsty pasts, so I can see this is as a good opportunity to stop this soft filter / romantization in Yor's lines of work and show what Garden really stands for.

Now, finally, the start of this chapter and arc: Yor.

Gosh, I'm worried. I'm worried for Yor and I'm worried about having too many feelings about a fictional character a.k.a Yor.

During all this time, we were under the impression Yor enjoyed her job due this sense of duty

towards her country, making it even with how it brought her a comfortable life when she was younger and had to care for Yuri. We could even point out that she enjoyed being the Thorn Princess so much she was willing to be part of a scam marriage to appear more normal and not call the attention of authorities.

However, now we see that's not all of it and apparently her worries about Yuri were the very main reason she took this life, to the point that now she realizes Yuri has a life of his own, she doesn't feel the need to do this kind of work anymore. Did she truly feel comfortable with it in the first place? The fact that she "needs to get her motivation" for it truly bugs me and makes me wonder how much of her mental state was sacrificed over these years until she got used to the killing. And while we're on the mood for angst, let's talk about a (not very plausible) scenario in which this is her last job and she manages to leave Garden. Then what is the point of their fake family? It appears to me her new most important matter is Loid and Anya and she wants to put them to safety by not being an assassin anymore, but it still worries me she'd feel out of place somehow, which is a shame because we can really see how she wants to spend real moments with them without worrying about work. Grrr, Endo better treat my girl right or else he'll get these online fists (9`へ´*)9

Well, that's all for this week, let's get our hopes up for the next chapter!! ❤️

[wolf-zer0]

Ya want some WORLD-BUILDING????

Have some world-building!

*REMINDER* This is based on characters, not real people.  I’m not going to be writing any shipping/smut content, especially involving minors.  Please be respectful of content creators’ boundaries!

The Crystallos Empire (AKA the Antarctic Empire)

Largest the countries (takes up most of the southern half of the map) but agreed to stop expansion after a bloody battle with Valeriana 

Centered on a large snowy mountain in the middle of the tundra 

Mostly stays out of other countries’ business, but will step in as a last resort 

Has some of the most well-known citizens in the world because… they’re pure chaos 

Attack at your own peril 

Has vast deposits of ores and gemstones, and the metalwork from Crystallos (mainly weaponry, armor, and jewelry) is highly sought after 

The only known food export is potatoes.  Wonder why… 

Associated Colors: Royal blue, light blue, crimson, gold 

Aesthetic/Vibes: gothic vibes, white stone and large stain glass windows, not particularly opulent or extravagant but still impressively royal looking, think catholic cathedral but brighter and with less Jesus (can you tell I’m a recovering catholic yet?), spires shooting into the sky that’s visible even during a blizzard, cavernous halls full of sunlight and echoes, snow that can comfort and kill in equal measure

Notable Members:

Philza Minecraft:

Angel

Visible wings look like a harpy eagle

Probably the most powerful person in the world

Didn’t mean to start an empire it kinda just happened

Also didn’t mean to adopt kids but his Dadza alarm went off

Usually kind but will not hesitate to use violence when necessary

Technoblade: 

Is pig.  

With braid.  

At least 8 feet all

Extremely adept fighter, skilled in almost every form of combat.  

Not a people pig, prefers his potato farm to being a prince

Hella protective of his family but will not hesitate to bully when given the opportunity

Wilbur Soot: 

Muse who can influence people through song

Can’t totally control people (yet) but can subtly push them in a certain direction

The public face of the imperial family

Would rather insult than fight but can and will cut a bitch if he needs to

Because inspiration is fickle he’ll have some … strange episodes (see: the Sand Incident)

Tommy Innit: 

Child.  

Chaos incarnate.

Is he human?  Is he not?  No one’s sure yet.  

But he’s a gremlin and a hellion and willing to throw down at any moment.  

Has a surprisingly caring side, but no one outside his immediate circle has ever really seen it.  

The Kingdom of Valeriana (aka Dream SMP)

Oldest of the countries 

Located in the middle of a massive forest at the center of the main continent 

Home of the Fae Courts

Ruled by a single king who is chosen by a tournament held every 100 years 

Known for causing chaos in other countries, but after an Incident with Crystallos they have kept their meddling to annoyances rather than outright declarations of war 

Considered the most magical of all the countries, and traditional enchantments almost all come from Valeriana 

Associated Colors: neon green (duh), bright yellow, forest green, light brown, blood red (more saturated than Crystallos), rose gold 

Aesthetic/Vibes: spooky art nouveau (idk what else to call it), lots of plants and nature but with an edge of danger, poison gardens and carnivorous plants, hedge mazes that lead everywhere and nowhere, laughter deep in the forest, deer with eyes just a hair too human, Alice in Wonderland on steroids 

Notable Members: 

Dream: 

Current king of the Fae

As long as he’s touching the ground, he knows where everything and everyone is

Can terraform

Unlimited in the boundaries of his kingdom

Much more limited outside of his realm

No one has ever seen what he really looks like, even before he took the throne

Since people outside the kingdom don’t know who he is, he’ll wander the outside world and challenge random people to fights

Never says what happens to the losers

Only one person has ever beaten him: Technoblade

He might have a lil obsession around Techno, but it’s fine.  

A little competition is healthy.

Sapnap:  

High Lord of the Summer Court

Dream’s right hand man

Likes fire a little too much probably

George: 

Human that Dream took a liking too and yoinked from the mortal world

Dream and Sapnap made him immortal but he hasn’t realized it yet.  

Skeppy: 

Changeling who started growing diamond-like scales across his body

Is vaguely allied with Dream simply because he’s Fae, but is more loyal to BBH

Like a lot of other Fae, likes to make challenges but he makes them less deadly.  Not totally safe, just less deadly.

Badboyhalo: 

Demon who was kicked out of hell because he was too nice

Found Skeppy in the Overworld and the rest is history

Cursed by the Demon King that the moment he says a swear word, the entire world would end, but can never tell anyone that he is cursed

The Merchant’s Guild

Not quite a country, more of a international power 

Oversees the largest and most important businesses in the world 

Makes sure that no laws are broken between different countries and everyone gets a fair shake 

Has a very large reach, so some members have dabbled in espionage for various groups 

From the outside it looks like the whole thing is kept together with duct tape and hope, but its actually pretty functional

The main members are just… a lot. 

More concerned with keeping things working than influencing other nations (although there are still jokes about it) 

The most valuable thing they trade in is information

They have a lot of fingers in a lot of pots, but are trusted with their information 

Associated Colors: dark blue, teal, deep yellow, burnt orange, copper

Aesthetic/Vibes: art deco babie, angles and lines, very modern and streamlined, sleek suits instead of armor or robes, whiskey in a crystal glass, wars won by words not weapons, knowing when someone’s lying without them saying a word

Notable Members:

Schlatt: 

Ram-man with a plan

Not that bad of a dude, but is in a position where he is constantly in possession of highly sensitive information and that does things to someone’s mental state

Drinks pretty regularly but not a full blown alcoholic

Trying his best

Can be a snarky asshole sometimes

Quackity: 

Lucky duck.  literally.  

Duck man with an uncanny ability to absorb good luck from people (typically Fundy) and apply it to himself

No one knows when or why he joined the guild, but now he’s there

Pretty damn smart, but hides it behind humor

Fundy: 

FOX!  

With BEANS!

Trying his goddamn best but life (and Quackity) make it very difficult

Usually is stuck with the shit end of the stick when getting jobs/contracts/etc. 

Wilbur being his dad is an inside joke that’s gotten a life of its own.  

(No Fishfuckers Allowed!!!)

Puffy: 

Badass sheep lady who captains a ship and commands her own armada

Schlatt’s sister

Also part of Storm’s Landing’s council and acts as the main liaison between them 

Do not fuck with her she will kick your ass.

Storm’s Landing

Port city that became a country after becoming a safe-haven for seafarers

Led by a council of important people, with the head of the council known as the Admiral 

Closest ties to Crystallos and the Merchant’s guild because: 

1) Clingy supremacy!!!!

2) it’s a good idea for a guild to have good ties with a large sea power

3) all the dads for Tubbo

Associated Colors: navy blue, scarlet, white, brass 

Aesthetic/Vibes: Nautical (obviously) with heavy “Age of Exploration” vibes, barnacles crusted on treasure chests, think tall ships and pirates and shit, respecting the ocean because holy shit she’s gonna smash your boat to pieces on a whim because she can, has an edge of darkness because when you go deep enough who knows what you’ll find down there (maybe mermaids???) 

Notable Members:

CaptainSparklez: 

elected to Admiral after the previous Admiral went missing on a routine voyage 

(idk who it used to be, I just wanted to make him new at leading)

not 100% sure about the whole thing, but handling it pretty okay

still answers to “Captain” instead of “Admiral”.  

Niki:

If Storm’s Landing had a queen, would be it unquestionably

Never gets robbed even though there’s a well known “underbelly” in town

Could probably end wars with her croissants

Has a significant history of empathic abilities in her family, so she can tell how people are feeling at all times

Eret: 

Owns a magic store in town that really only shows itself to people who need it.  

Having a bad mental health day?  

He’s got a warm blanket and a cup of your favorite warm beverage waiting.  

Dysphoric?  

She’s got the perfect outfit and affirming words already prepared.  

Trying to find that specific book but can’t remember the title or plot, only vaguely know the color of the cover?  

They’ve got it.  

Ranboo:  

Not sure why he decided to move to a seaside city when he’s not chill with water, but now he’s here and he’s too anxious to leave

Known for teleporting around town randomly when nervous, and the people who find him are always willing to let a hand if he gets lost

Tubbo: 

This boi!  Has so many dads!  

Epitome of “Kindness does not equal weakness.”  

While a lot of people underestimate him, he’s not some fragile little flower

He hasn’t fully grown into his ability to speak to animals (he can only understand bees right now)

He’s just as much of a shit stirrer as Tommy.  

When they meet up, look out.  Something’s getting destroyed.

The Astral Academy

An independent university focused on advancing knowledge in the arcane arts and engineering 

Not a country, but has the political power of one due to their vast resources and building prowess 

People can’t enter unless they are invited or have been given entry as a student 

There are a bunch of potential doors scattered around the continent that could lead to the Academy, but no one is sure where the real entrance is 

Associated Colors: royal purple, lilac, sepia, sky blue, silver, bronze Aesthetic/Vibes: bright academia, massive libraries with bookshelves stuffed to bursting, workshop benches covered in scrap and prototypes, open air observatories, runes waiting to be translated, the crackling energy that comes from successful collaboration, falling down a research rabbit hole, bursting with pride after a project is a success

Notable Members: 

Sam

Purpled

Ponk

Punz

Antfrost

Jack Manifold

I don’t know much about these characters, so if you have any ideas please let me know!

Zero’s OC Land - The North Haven

Smallest and newest country 

Recently gained independence from under a cruel dictator (not schlatt lol)

Located in a pine forest at the base of a huge mountain range 

Has pretty good relations with the other countries, but outsiders don’t know much about them 

Main exports are wood carvings and leather goods 

Associated Colors: Maroon, dark brown, black, pewter 

Aesthetic/Vibes: medieval but with a modern twist, dark wood lit by a roaring fireplace, snow-covered woods without a living soul in sight, half timber houses and detailed wood carving, no outrageous ornamentation or extravagance 

Notable Members:

Tyr: 

Lord of the North Haven

trying to keep his people safe and protected

one of the few remaining Spirits (higher in power than the Fae, but lower than angels)

Spirit of Justice

lost a hand in the war for North Haven’s independence

didn’t want to become the leader but does a pretty good job at it

Adopted 5 kids and is trying his best

Bragi: 

Heir Apparent

24 year old human

can influence the world by speaking (not singing) but has to be careful about which words he uses

has a book full of phrases that have proven effects (a spellbook of sorts)

has a friendly rivalry with Wilbur

Freya: 

Spymaster

actually the oldest but abdicated because she feels she’s not the right person to lead a country

age unknown because she’s the last known [REDACTED] (it’ll be revealed, but I wanna build suspense)

has gyrfalcon wings and heightened senses

chronic insomniac

Forseti: 

Official Librarian

20 years old

hybrid with an unknown entity

has black fingers with sharp claws

always wears gloves to hide them

can create portals to places he’s been or to people he knows (the second is much riskier, but not impossible)

knowledge sponge

wants to join the Astral Academy but is too nervous to apply

Odin: 

Older Twin

The “Sensible One”

17 years old

Has an uncanny sense of direction

Can’t get lost no matter what

Can manipulate magnetic fields

Loki:

Younger Twin

The “Hot Headed One”

17 years old

can manipulate fire

idolizes his older siblings, particularly Freya

The Institute

Creeping around in the background

Up to bad things

Something’s going on in the world, but no one’s noticed yet

They will though… soon

Aesthetic/Vibes: minimalism (the worst kind of vibes imo), think laboratories or empty hospitals, harsh artificial lights and cold floors, labyrinths of monotonous hallways with no doors

[whencallstheheart]

We’ll find out tonight if our predictions are correct! 

Responses to the written questions are under the cut.

Where is Ned and what is he doing?

No idea

Business trip

Dealing with some financial issues.

Doing business in UC or Hamilton. Nothing major

He stayed behind next episode and will be back in the finale.

I think planning something for Florence, maybe expansion for the mercantile?

I don't know

I have no idea, wth!?!?

Yo i have no idea. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say he's trying to contact Florence's daughter who wasnt there for the wedding

Maybe he's visiting his daughter? Or expanding the Mercantile somehow

With Mike. Oil pipeline

Hiding

It sure

I have no clue honestly, maybe planning a surprise for Florence?

Perhaps...expanding his store? Or ordering something new to begin to be shipped to his.

something related to factory

Sussing out suppliers

Maybe something to do with the Wyman guy?

visiting his daughter

Buying a new house or a surprise for Florence

Visiting Abigail

Planning something special for Florence

He is doing something with his daughter

No clue

With his daughter

Planning to expand the mercantile to include deliveries (Hope Valley Amazon) lol

Not sure

I really dont know!

Made out a Will since he now is married to Florence

Business in Union City

Business, but he’ll be back

I don’t Know

I dont know. This one threw me!

Literally have no idea

maybe he will come back with his daughter who will come to live at HP

some sweet surprise/gift for Florence

He is involved im some growth in HV.

Taking care of business.

He's making a business deal somewhere

I have no idea. I think it was a weird to put in o.O

Making purchases for the store.

Business stuff somewhere

I don't know

i don't know

ned things

He just took the long way home...

Adopting Flo's son

Hiding

He is picking up a surprise order gift for Florence, and it’s taking longer than expected.

Fighting attempt to take over mercantile

Talking to a divorce lawyer. Or putting a pillow over Abigail's mom's face so she can bury her already and come back to Hope Valley for his buddy Henry's sake.

Honestly I’m not sure but interested to find out!

Idk honestly. Probably actually doing something sweet for Florence but she doesn't know it.

What's up with the Pinkertons?

Not sure

A storyline to bring a change of pace to the show.

I really Don’t know

Not sure, but I don’t think it will be resolved this season, maybe it’s the cliffhanger?

I don't know

They’re hired thugs like they were in S1, just there to show Walden is a bad guy despite appearances

Factory related

Up to no good! Don’t trust them.

Yo i dont even know. They look totally sketch but they are probably the good guys actually. I'm predicting they are after someone who's been wanted for a long time. I think it may be too easy to link them with the guy who took Jesse and Clara's money

Not sure yet

Working for Waldon

Railroad

Sneakily buying land

I couldn't care less about them

Perhaps something is in the cabin/someone they don't want found.

No idea

Something to do with the mine disaster (even though it's been ages).

we will see in season 9

Setting up a good storyline for season 9

Not sure maybe something to do with the new factory that might be built

Maybe it has to do with Henry

I have no idea, but I do not like them!

No good

Buying all the land

They have Jesse. Someone wants to reopen the mine and seek revenge on Elizabeth for his son going to jail (Spurlock).

Looking for some kind of hidden good

Shady dealings going on

Guarding the future factory site. But something extra at the cabin connected with Spurlock.

Trouble

?

An even bigger I dont know on this one. Like, what in the world???

Holding Jesse captive

I think they kidnapped Jesse because he found out what they were up to but I have no idea what that is

stumped on this one

That is difficult. He is apparently connected to S1 Spurlock. Is he there for revenge? Or, just a heavy hand like his relative?

Revenge? They want to take over Hope Valley.

Something sketchy, probably bigger than just whatever is going on with the cabin though.

Land grab

No clue but they'll be one of the big bads next season

They are probably the goons of the Industry dude

They are working for somebody bigger.

They want to take over the town

I don't know

i'm worried about Nathan

idk they are the bad daddys of the season

they can only be there to cover up a crime, or some valuable find

No clue

They’re wanting to uproot Hope Valley for better business by destroying the town.

Keeping identity of mastermind safe from townspeople.

Maybe looking for Ned, who alternatively is a serial killer and now on the run. Possibly for the murder of Abigail's mother?

I’m so confused lol

Creating a monopoly & doing some villain nonsense (as it would seem the show is hinting).

Any other thoughts going into the finale?

No

There will be at least one surprise- not sure what

There are too many loose ends to tie up in one episode and I just want Elizabeth and Nathan together (and perhaps quickly married in this episode!)

I’m honestly really nervous, I’m rooting for Nathan but I have a feeling she’ll go for Lucas, I really don’t mind Lucas as a character but like what storylines can they do with them as a couple? The manuscript is finished, they’ve gone on every sort of date at this stage and she’s been in his office. What else can they do? With Nathan they can do the being scared because of his job again but making it different, there’s children involved now, it’s not just Elizabeth. Jack won’t understand but Allie will 100% feel worried for him. Also Allie having a mother figure, especially at this stage in her life, how could you not want it! The blended family as the main family would be so nice for this show, I know it’s been done before but they will be fairly front and centre in the show. Sorry for the rant, I love your blog so much! I don’t have tumblr so I can’t leave comments or like your gifs but I thoroughly enjoy all your theories and opinions!!

Just ready for this stupid love triangle to be over!

I’d love to actually see Henry meet up with Abigail, but doubt it. I hope they have Clara do something heroic for Jesse, but also doubt it. Henry will definitely be putting Hickam in charge at least temporarily. I think Ned will return but we won’t get a full explanation yet. And the dramatic ending won’t be the triangle choice, it’ll be Elizabeth losing the school.

Allie’s adoption finalized and reaction to Elizabeth choosing Nathan is something we should see.

Glad the triangle will be DONE!!

I hope that Elizabeth follows her heart and not pick someone who is a safe option.

I wish Faith were leaving instead of Carson. Also, I think there will be lots of set up for problems with the school board and Elizabeth. Also, I want more little Jack scenes but i don't think we'll get much since child acting laws and covid combined make that difficult

Excited for Elizabeth to move on from her past and enter a new adventure with either of the two men and really just everything else (Rosie and Lee, Fiona, Henry.)

I hope Faith doesn’t end up with whoever doesn’t get chosen by Elizabeth.

hopefully the finale will clear up the drawn out love triangle

The triangle was waaaaay drawn out. Be done and choose.

Nathan and Faith......would be great......

No matter who Elizabeth chooses I'm SOOOO READY to get this over with!

Kindness matters - no matter who she chooses. Isn't that why most of us watch the show

I am so over the love triangle and just want to know who Elizabeth picks.

Worried about the fandom more than anything

Elizabeth please pick Nathan

It's just a TV show and no matter what , it's there for our entertainment. I do think they're setting things up for the return of Abigail in some way.

The must be a Season 9!!!

I hope Fiona does not get involved with Mike.

Hopefully things get back to normal for Elizabeth and Rosemary

Interested to see the other storylines. I want Elizabeth to choose Nathan but I think JT will throw us off. From the promo pic, it looks like they will try to put Faith with Nathan.

- I just want Elizabeth to chose so that this storyline can come to an end and we can finally get to see her marriage and functioning has a wife. - Wonder what will become of Lucas once her choice is made. - I would like Lucas to have a proper storyline that doesn't involve Elizabeth or the love triangle. - I would love to see Rosemary and Lee finally become parents however that may happen. I feel like the writer just left them in limbo about it and keep teasing but never delivering on anything.

Hopefully will end with Nathan but the very last minute. I would prefer more romance before the finale

Elizabeth will have to decide on what’s important with school.

Jack might make an appearance in a dream scene?

So excited! I hope I don't wake up my kids while watching.

I hope they don’t pick Lucas

CLARA DISCOVERS SHE IS PREGNANT

?

Just excited for this to be over. I know we needed it and I think overall it was handled decent enough, but I'm glad to finally move on.

Why is everyone so scared?

The whole season has been about getting over your fear. Elizabeth doesn’t have to deal with her emotions or real life with Lucas because school is out for the summer and she is working on her book. She needs to make up with Rosemary and get over the loss of Jack and fear to be with Nathan.

this season has been totally not what I expected...I thought the hug at end of season 7 was definitive and we'd get at least some Nathan courtship, not a complete U-turn to Lucas (with hopefully a turn to Nathan at the very end). I now think Season 9 will be what I expected season 8 to be, and I am very much looking forward to that.

Something sudden will allow Elizabeth to bring her feelings to light for everyone...Nathan. I think she will have decided by the time she takes of the rings, but will not have the opportunity to share with the man until later. Until she faces the prospect of him being in danger again? Full circle from the end of S7.

I need Elizabeth to really apologize to Rosemary. Rosemary has always been there for Elizabeth.

I’m so afraid :(

Hated the triangle

I am so ready to finally move on from this triangle!

They put waaaay too many storyline in the last 2 episodes, they will never manage to conclude them all and we'll have another weird random cliffhanger which will not tie in with the Christmas episode (If we're getting one ?)

I hope the guy who loses, has a good life in later seasons

The annoying love triangle will finally end. Elizabeth/Nathan are endgame, unless Jack suddenly comes back from the dead. But, I doubt it. I hope Lee/Rosemary are pregnant, or decide to adopt children. I just want Lee/Rosemary to have children. Can't wait to see how this season ends. Hopefully, it won't be a cliffhanger.

Nervous as hell

Elizabeth and Nathan get married

i kinda hope someone dies tbh it would make everything more interesting

Elizabeth was so tiresome this season, they could have told her story of overcoming grief in a much more relatable way. Why did they not just have her talking to Rosemary about how sad or exhausted or numb or angry she feels all the time? You know, something a widow would actually go through. At the very least she could have been stoic, instead she was just kinda bitchy.

Faith and Nathan will have some sparks; Elizabeth will choose Lucas and they will kiss twice one being at bridge one being at her home inside with baby jack present.Carson will leave; Jessie will be found; Ned will come back safely.

Lucas endgame, Nathan and faith have sparks, Rosemary paper, Jessie and Clara make up.

I think Henry will take his own advice and leave to find Abigail to see if there is still any hope for them. Though I like his character, I want him to finally be happy, and if that means staying with Abigail, then that’s what it means. I don’t think TPTB will bring back Lori soooo.... that means Henry would be the one possibly leaving. I also think some scare will happen with Nathan between him and the Pinkertons. Then it may come full circle at the end where Elizabeth runs to him like she did last season, but instead of hugging him, she’ll kiss him instead.

Hallmark execs dictated ending and will cut salaries to bring back Abigail, hence Paul leaving.

My condolences to whichever guy gets to look forward to being bored by Elizabeth for the rest of his life. Are we sure Jack's death wasn't a suicide?

Ready to see how it ends and already looking forward to next season!

I will be really disappointed if she chooses Lucas but I’m afraid that’s where it’s headed. Either way I don’t understand how they’ll end in “the healthy place” they’ve said it will be with so much left for one episode.

[tirednotflirting]

just take it easy (hold onto this feeling)

idk what this is mostly but we got to hear luke sing for the first time in a long time and then this just kinda happened. idk if the title is exactly fitting but it was the song that started playing in my head while i was writing. so there ya go.

in a very typical sam fashion, it is 1.6k with exactly one line of dialogue. so.

here’s baby’s first lashton since november 

and here it is on ao3 

Luke had really grown to love the quiet.

It wasn’t something he was used to. After spending the better part of the last decade of his life on stages and in studios, singing for seas of people wider than he could ever really imagine, the silence that came with the break in everything had been almost deafening. The pause that the world was sitting on had felt like slamming on the brakes too hard and his chest hurt like he was being thrown forward against his seatbelt. The band had provided what felt like endless opportunity, like wide open spaces that he was free to explore and discover. Early on, the new normal they had all had to adjust to felt like getting trapped inside a box and as thankful as he was to have a moment to breath, it felt like the air had been sucked out of the room.

The summer made him restless. He ached for the feeling of a breeze through his hair as he ran around a stage or to look to stage right and left and find Michael and Calum jumping and running and smiling with him. He missed meeting kids and hearing their stories in front of hotels and airports. He missed hugs and silly faces and hearing how the words that got him through his own heartbreaks helped so many others do the same.

It didn’t take long for him to realize the spiraling hurricane of sound on social media wasn’t going to help. If anything, sitting in his living room with his thumbs scrolling marathon lengths across his screen was probably making it worse. Every other part of his job had been put on hold, stuck frozen in a world that didn’t allow flights across the globe or the roar of a crowd, so he figured, what’s the harm in deleting a couple boxes staring coldly back at him from his phone screen? Encouragement from the boys on the matter helped too, Michael’s promises of keeping him in the know on anything important going on giving him solace in hitting the red text to make the apps vanish. 

Late summer brought long, warm days beside the pool with a book in his hand and Petunia’s head in his lap. It brought Facetime calls to his mom to ask how to cook different meals he remembered from before his childhood was cut a bit short and to make sure he was watering his fruit trees the correct amount. Without even realizing it, the buzz of silence that had set him on edge for so many months began to lower in volume as the temperature dropped just enough to call it autumn in California. As he traded rolled down windows for sweaters on trips to the grocery store, the noise faded to nothing. Life was slower and Luke found himself enjoying it, appreciating it even.

It’s on a cooler morning in early November when he wakes up and hears a melody. It startles him awake, this new, beautiful song playing through his mind for the first time in months. He stumbles out of bed, pushes his glasses up his nose, and grabs his phone and the guitar gathering dust beside his window. He sits cross-legged on the couch with his voice memos open and recording as he puzzles out the notes playing on a loop in his head. Eventually, Petunia wanders out to join him once she deems it an appropriate time to be awake and gives him a confused look from her spot on the floor beside where he stands above her. He leans down and scratches behind her ears, a bright smile on his face as he whispers to his companion who can’t answer back. 

“I think it’s gonna be a good one, sweetheart.”

It’s not the first time it happens. By the time it’s cool enough that he needs to throw on a sweater and socks before stepping out onto the patio with his morning coffee, Luke has a collection of sweet songs to play around with in the moments in between the serene silence he’s welcomed in over the last several months like a long lost friend. He writes words for feelings and thoughts he never knew how to describe before. For the first time he doesn’t feel selfish knowing that what he’s working on isn’t meant for anyone else. He feels a joy in playing and singing for no one but himself (and maybe Petunia) to hear. It feels like keeping a secret, something he hasn’t been able to do for most of his growing up. It’s exciting in a way he hasn’t experienced before. 

He’s watching the sun set over his hushed Los Angeles on a warm day in the middle of winter. If he closes his eyes and focuses on the last bits of sun warming his skin, he can almost believe he’s back in Australia. His mom had mentioned it was a cooler day on their call earlier in the afternoon. She updated him on the new tricks his dad had taught the dog and thanked him for flowers he had sent her as a thank you for the care package she had sent full of his favorite candies he still couldn’t find a way to get in the US. 

As his blue eyes watch the sky turn from orange and pink to a dark indigo as dusk settles over the city he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, his mind counting the inhale and exhale like how he would before taking the stage every night with the boys. The world beyond his patio and string of news updates he turned off the notifications for again in December is anything but quiet and calm. But from here, in the last moments before day becomes night, Luke feels okay. He feels alright. He closes his eyes as he feels the warmth of the day lift from his skin and lets the quiet wash over him again. 

It’s only a few moments later he hears the familiar sound of the sliding door push open and the pattering of Petunia’s paws on the deck as she approaches him. His eyes blink open when the light over the patio is flipped on and he smiles lazily at the dog. She takes her normal spot in front of Luke’s feet and lets her head rest against his knee, her big eyes looking up at him in a silent beg for pets. 

He hears the door slide closed again and a moment later the seat beside him is occupied and he feels a kiss against his hair. He smiles at the feeling, the warmth lost from the sunshine replaced by a blush across his cheeks as he reaches for Ashton’s hand with his free one. Luke lifts the hand to his lips before dropping his head to rest against Ashton’s shoulder, shuffling a bit closer to steal away a bit of his warmth as a slight breeze picks up. 

It had taken Luke a while to figure it out, what it was that made the silence more of a comfort rather than something to fear. He’s sure it’s something more abstract, since he can’t really find the words to describe it, but he’s also pretty sure it lines up somewhat well with when he asked Ashton to come stay with him. Luke’s mind wandered too much to really meditate but he figures his evening rituals of catching up on the day with Ashton under the dull yellow patio light must be a similar experience to whatever Ashton had when he started his days doing yoga in the backyard on Facetime with Calum. Eventually, the daily tradition shifted into whatever it was they were doing now, sitting under the nighttime sky, the only sounds to accompany them being the windchime his neighbor had on the front porch or the cars driving up and down his street.

Some days still felt heavy and noisy despite the rhythmic, quiet nature of their living right now. In the evenings on those days, Luke would press himself closer to Ashton and focus on the rising and falling of his chest and the beating of his heart. He would count his breaths and hum at the feeling of a hand playing with his grown out bleached curls until he was able to figure out what it was that was bothering him. And then they would puzzle and talk their way through whatever it was until the tension left Luke’s shoulders and neck and he would press kisses to Ashton’s cheeks to make him laugh. 

He knows it’s not going to last forever. That one day the world will start turning like normal again and the seas of smiling faces will gather back together and the electric buzz of running around on a stage with the boys he loves most in the world will return. He’ll be away from home long enough that he forgets where he keeps the can opener and the code to his garage. He’ll have to pat makeup below his eyes to look more awake than he feels and he’ll have to be reminded of what city they’re in at least three times before he goes on stage so he doesn’t yell out the wrong one. 

For now though, he has the chilly California winter breeze blowing through his hair and his warm, smiling boy holding him against his chest. And even though it doesn’t feel like the world is turning, the very last moments of daylight are fading away and it reminds Luke that it is. And for now, that’s enough.

*

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #336

"get back, you’re never gonna leave him  /  get back, you’re always gonna please him”

What were your favorite things to draw when you were a lil kid? When I was a very little kid, idk. But once I got into meerkats... I drew them like crazy. Do you think there is something with or around you, like a spirit, angel, ghost or something else? How does this make you feel? No. Imagine you’re a stranger looking at yourself. What things would immediately catch your eye? Ugh, let's not. When did you feel the most confident in your life? Probably my senior year of high school. I was happy with Jason with plans for the future together, I was doing excellently in school... I thought I was really going to go somewhere. Do you think love is needed to have good sex? For some people, no. For me, loving one another is an absolute must. Do you think, or want to, die in the city you currently live in? Fuuuuuuuck no, I hate it here. What is the strangest thing you have ever encountered? Probably when I was otw home from my doctor appointment and we passed a random guy in drag walking on the side of the street... That guy is an icon. Favourite soft drink? It's really strawberry Sunkist, but I love it to a degree I don't even allow myself to drink it, because I will fucking destroy that shit so quick. So I tend to just say Mountain Dew Voltage is my fave. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy, period. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No, but it sounds fun. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhhh idk. Who depends on you the most? My snake. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Yes; William Clark and Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth, idr which. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Mom. She only has one kidney, so, y'know. She kinda needs at least one. I wouldn't even hesitate. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Unconditional love. What three things do you think of most of each day? My weight is #1. Every second of every day, it, as well as Jason, are somewhere towards the front of my mind. The final is financial and job-oriented stuff. Does/did your high school have pop machines? It did. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yeah. How often do you use Flickr? I pretty much abandoned my account; nowadays I only occasional check my friend's profile who works at the Kalahari Meerkat Project because she uploads wonderful pictures of the 'kats as well as gives interesting info about them! Who is the last child that you took a photo with? Mom took a picture of me holding my youngest niece Emerson because it surprised everyone; I NEVER hold babies. She crawled over to me and reached up though, so of course I was going to pick her up. How often do you wear hats? Never. Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Sure! Idk what, but I'm rather sure I'll get at leaast one. Is anyone in your family sick at the moment? No. Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? My older sister is a mammographer, and my younger sis is a social worker. Where is your favorite place to buy groceries? Wal-Mart, I guess. Who do you generally talk to the most? My mom. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname? Mom is "Mama Bear," and then my siblings are "Little Sister" and "Big Sister." Whose birthday is coming up? My lil sister has her birthday in April. Have you ever ordered from an informercial? No. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? I needed to get blood drawn for some testing. It was drawn from my inner elbow, obviously at the doctor. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? I never have, but it'd be fun. I enjoy puzzles. How many followers do you have on Instagram? I don't feel like checking. What’s the most recent music video you watched? Thoughts? "Mutter" by Rammstein. I picked a screenshot from it to draw, so I rewatched it to select one. It's a beautiful video, but also strange, which Rammstein is great at. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. What makeup products are your go-tos? If I wear makeup, the bare minimum is black eyeliner. Are you going to school this year? No. I gave college as many shots as I could handle both sanity-wise and with finances in mind. I do NOT want to even ATTEMPT to imagine the debt I have after going to three different colleges and dropping out each time. What is your favorite water activity? I enjoy just kinda swimming around aimlessly, relaxing. What are your favorite video games? Okay, I talk about SH2 and SotC enough on questions like this, so I'll mention some others I really enjoy as well: the Silent Hill franchise in general, Spyro games, The Last Guardian, both The Evil Withins, The Last of Us, some Resident Evil games (the 4th in particular), etc. etc. I just love video games. Do you like jello? I enjoy the flavor, but the texture makes me squirm. When was the last time you gave someone "the finger?" Probably while riding in the car with Mom when a dumb motherfucker swerved into our lane. Or something like that, idr the exact occasion. Have you ever held a snake? Yesssss, I want to hold all the snakes. ;_; Most unique place you’ve ever been to? Uh. I guess maybe the Whirligig Park/"Acid Park" nearby us? It's just this large expanse of unique architecture that are mostly, as you guessed it, extravagant whirligigs. You've got to see it if you come to the town. I have some pictures on my deviantART if you wanna see a few pieces. If you were a superhero, what color would your cape be? NO CAPES! Have you ever slept out on your porch all night? Oh fuck no. I'd feel way, way too unsafe. Do you like horror movies? Yeah! What’s your favorite Coke product? Just normal Coke. Watergun or water-balloon war? Watergun. I don't like being hit with stuff. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? I kind of am. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? I have three plushies from Jason, Tyler, and Girt. My Marilyn Manson poster is also from Juan. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don't know; I was never a big fan, so I don't know any of them as people well at all. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? I've never been drunk, but no, I've never texted an ex because I was drinking. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? I don't have one. The only instance where I had to do that was with Girt. Tall motherfucker. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? Yes. Those are the best. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Girt once tried to make out with me and I noped the fuck outta that situation. It was so fucking awkward. Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before? My nightmares definitely can. Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way? I definitely believe my mental illnesses forced me to mature faster and also instilled a great sense of empathy in me. And don't forget emotional endurance. What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line? It's dangerous and can be very blinding. An outsider could say I put Mark on a pedestal, but I've always been very aware that he's not perfect and really just another human, I just happen to love him a lot for the human he is, haha. As time's passed, my vision of him has become healthier though (not to say it ever reached the "unhealthy" threshold); it's gotten easier for me to judge him and stuff like that. I think an obsession crosses the line when you put on rose-tinted glasses to look upon someone and entirely ignore their flaws, or if you try to invade their personal lives, ex. being one of those creeps that loiter outside their houses and stuff. If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph? Ah, livin' the dream. If I had to choice and would be paid well regardless of focus, I would absolutely travel and photograph the local nature/wildlife. Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others? Shirts, 100%. Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited? When it comes to OCs, yes, given that things have been stolen from me before. Photography doesn't worry me much because I don't think I'm good enough for someone to possibly want to steal it (and besides, I use a watermark), and I do the same for drawings. It's the unique characters I make I worry about being stolen if I share them. When is the last time you did something sexual? A few years back. Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone? I haven't showered with someone since I was a little kid and my younger sister and I would to conserve water. What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road? It really makes me genuinely sad, and I always wonder if it could have been avoided if the driver was more alert, slower, and thinking about more than the damage it could cause to their car... I enjoy photographing roadkill, brutal as it may be, out of respect for them and the desire to make their individual stories known and just kind of like, raise awareness of it. Too many people are just annoyed by hitting an animal versus more concerned. "Stupid deer," stuff like that. I sometimes worry that doing so can be interpreted as disrespect, to photograph and publish pictures of their corpses online, but I sure hope not. It's the least of my intentions. I just want people to see and care. Have you ever had an ex that just didn’t understand that it was over? Biiiitch I was that ex, 120%. But besides my situation with Jason, this was how Tyler was. I had to tell him about five thousand times to stop texting me. Are your fingernails currently short or long? They're always pretty short. Would you rather have big or small dogs? I like medium-sized dogs most. I'd have to pick large dogs between the two, though. What is your favorite sports drink? I'm not a fan of sports drinks. What was the last compliment you gave a guy? Yesterday, a guy in PHP shared two poems he wrote while hospitalized, and they were wonderful, so full of passion and emotion. I sure as hell told him they were amazing. He's going for his Master's for poetry, so he knows what he's doing for real. Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It's popped on very, very few occasions. Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids “the talk”? I don't want kids, so no, I've never thought of this. I certainly wouldn't wait for sex ed in school, though. I feel like it's a bit late. I feel children need to know what it's about at a younger age with how disgusting some people are... I want them to be informed on what consent and molestation are so they know to let Mama know so I can punch someone's face into a whole new galaxy if they're ever violated. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something? Oh, always. Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did as a kid, sure. Not so much now. If you were married, and your spouse’s parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? If they were truly sick enough to need assistance but not actual hospitalization, yes. I'd want my spouse to do the same for me. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yyyyep. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Did you actually have a cookie jar? We have a Santa one, though I don't even know if we ever used it versus just having it as a decoration. What’s worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? Bottom lip. Do you think that knowing when and how you’re going to die would ruin your life? "Ruin" it seems a bit extreme, but I definitely wouldn't like it. Do you have a favorite bromance? From TV or a movie. Not really, if we're only talking those two options. Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? Yeah, you really can find the coolest shit for great prices. What color is your wallet? Mostly red and white; it's a Harley Quinn design. Have you ever been somebody's photography subject? No. Nicki Minaj fan? I believe she's a very talented rapper, but I don't enjoy her actual music. I just don't like rap. Have you ever seen the Niagara Falls? No, I wish tho.

[purplesurveys]

1051

Are you between the ages of 30 & 40? I still have to get through nearly another decade to get to that decade.

What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon growing up? My favorites were The Wild Thornberrys and Little Bill, both on Nickelodeon. My sister and I also enjoyed this wacky show called The Upside Down Show but it wasn’t a cartoon.

What was your favorite toy as a child? I liked any toy that had a lot of buttons or features within it - dollhouses, kitchen sets, cash registers, toy phones, anything that could make me test how much it could do.

In High School did you wear acid washed jeans? No. It’s not a style I would be drawn to, then and now.

How much was a gallon of gasoline when you first started driving? I don’t know; I never paid much attention to gas prices, honestly.

What was your first car? It’s a 2014 (or 2015?) Mitsubishi Mirage I’m still using today, though it was my dad who paid for it and he’s the one who takes it out for oil changes and stuff.

Who taught you how to drive? My dad taught me a few times around the neighborhood, but he also enrolled me for like three classes in a driving school so that I got to learn how to drive in a highway.

What was your high school mascot? Both of my schools didn’t have any. My university does have a nickname for our varsity teams, but we’re simply just ‘Maroons’ and not an animal like what I usually see.

Did you go to your Senior Prom? We had a junior prom, nothing for senior year. I was invited to go to the senior ball in another school by Mike, though. That feels like ages ago; everything is so different now.

What did you do after graduation? After my high school graduation I went straight to college like most kids here. After graduating college, I immediately started looking for jobs; I landed an internship after a month and got absorbed into the company two months after.

What was your first job? I’m currently working as an associate at a public relations agency. This is my first job and for now, I’m content in staying in this career. This is where I set out to be when I was in college and I don’t feel the need to change paths any time soon.

What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be an astronaut more than anything else, but I remember also wanting to be a firefighter or a vet.

Any posters on your bedroom walls growing up? I had a handful of wrestling posters that my mom was never a fan of. It was never her business since it’s my room, but she always made it the case.

Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? It may have been at Marielle’s debut, five Julys ago. She served beer at the afterparty of her 18th birthday party, and I think I had taken my first sip then.

Did you ever try cigarettes? Yeah, I started this year actually. I’m about to reach my first anniversary of trying my first cigarette :/ I don’t have a lot of them though and I haven’t smoked since like February or March, I think.

How did you spend your summers growing up? At home. My parents were always busy with work, so I had no choice but to myself occupied at home. Luckily I had siblings and cousins, so we were always playing with each other. My summers were never productive until I was in college, when I started making the effort to go out more.

If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? Ahh idk man I wish I wouldn’t have spent as much time by the computer as I did, and maybe hang out with friends or something instead. < Yeah this hits the bullseye pretty much. I was a very introverted teenager. Not to mention the internet and social media started to blow up during my tween/early teenage years, so I was hooked to my laptop and kept people away as a result. I didn’t start feeling like a teenager until I was 16, when I gained friends and got invited to more stuff.

Do you remember your first time? Yeah, it was during one of my 18th birthday celebrations and she was around.

Ever look back and wish some things were still the same? I do it a lot these days. I do try to stop, because I don’t know what I can gain out of doing so anymore, and because there’s always the danger of being left behind from looking back too much; but most days I can’t help it.

After high school - straight to college or straight to work? University, because you kinda need that credential where I live. It’s unfair, but it’s our reality.

How much did you make per hour at your first job? We don’t really calculate that here...I’ll try to do math for y’all lmao aka Google it, which says I make $2.34 an hour. Wow when you put it that way, it really does not sound high :/ I’m honestly okay with my pay though. I live with my parents so I contribute to the bills and stuff now, but even then there’s more than enough left for me. Favorite home-cooked meal growing up? My grandma’s kare-kare. It was/is always reserved for special occasions; and out of all her grandchildren I was also the one who got attached to the dish especially as I got older, so eventually kare-kare also became the family’s ‘Robyn is coming over so we better prepare this’ dish. I think I’m her only grandchild that she has an allotted dish for, so that makes me feel special :)

Favorite place to eat out growing up? The local Burger King, back when it had a play place for kids. 

Did your parents live in a different country before you were born?: No, they have always lived in the Philippines. My mom has always wanted to migrate but my dad shoots it down every time.

Do you have a preferred coffee brand?: When it comes to coffee, no. I wanna try out everything. But when it comes to coffee shop ambience, Starbucks all the way.

Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money?: No. I remember Gab as always being very cautious, responsible, and conscious about money. Her parents sustained her debit card and I’m pretty sure they always gave her a little bit extra, but she never took more than her weekly allowance from the ATM.

If so, how did it affect the relationship?: Money was never an issue, mostly because the money we received during the course of our relationship wasn’t even ours lol; we both received set allowances from our parents. If one of us was running out of cash, we never hesitated to cover for each other first, and we never pressured one another to pay back immediately.

How often do you paint your nails?: Never. 

Do you know anyone who's related to a current or former world leader?: Yeah, I went to high school with a relative of Duterte. She’s super secretive about it, which is pretty understandable. I’m friends with/went to classes with people who are grandchildren of senators and other politicians as well.

Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional?: ...I have no idea how to do that...I always just assumed it’s already taken care of when a part of my salary is deducted lol. I may have to ask my parents about this, whoops.

What is something you don't have any natural talent for?: Anything to do with music. Reading it, playing it, singing, writing songs, etc. Also art and anything to do with creativity.

Did you watch this year's Eurovision?: Ah, my favorite time of the year to mute all my overseas mutuals on Twitter at one point lmao. No, I never caugtht up with it.

Have there been any periods in your life that could be described as being chaotic?: Senior year was a big chaotic war zone. The death of my grandpa and my first breakup coincided with all the crucial college entrance exams. Speaking of college, it was also a period of a lot of heavy decision-making due to me having to make choices of what course I wanted to take in every school I applied to. I barely cried during those few months and it still shocks me to this day how I did it. That was the most I’ve been on autopilot.

What is something you frequently forget?: Where I place my car keys and/or glasses last.

If I looked in your fridge right now, what would I find?: Bread, eggs, a bunch of condiments, butter cheese, vegetables, leftovers, and the grazing box I received from my workplace yesterday. I’m sure there’s more, but I haven’t really stopped and stared at our fridge for a while now.

How do you feel about your body?: I used to feel fairly confident about it; like it was never an issue with me. But truthfully, after being dumped, I’ve started to feel insecure over everything about me.

Who is someone you would like to get to know better?: My teammates at work, Bea and Ysa. They both seem like cool and funny people both in and out of work, and I’d love to get to hang out with them.

If you had to move to a new city, where would you move?: Idk, just somewhere with a lot of opportunities to try new things and meet new people.

Have you ever traveled on a double-decker train?: Nope. I’ve never been on anything double-decker, if I remember correctly.

What's your opinion on assisted suicide?: [trigger warning] I’ve looked into it, but it’s a dead end where I live. That’s all I’ll say, as I don’t want to give others ideas.

At what point do you consider a relationship to be 'long-term?': Fuck if I know anymore. We reached six years and it was a point where I was comfortable and didn’t feel the need to doubt anymore; everything turned out to be a lie in the end. I don’t know anymore. I don’t think about these things anymore.

What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up?: My dad has always been a chef, so he went through all the ranks throughout my childhood until he finally got an executive position when I was in high school. I remember my mom being a receptionist.

Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired?: My dad is still in that career path but he doesn’t cook in the kitchen anymore, or at least as much as he used to. He does all the menu planning, evaluating, etc. My mom has shifted to becoming an executive secretary, but she’s still in the hotel industry.

Do you own any winter sports equipment?: I don’t. There’s no reason for me to have any.

Do you have a cell contract plan, or are you on a pre-paid plan?: Prepaid.

Would your parents be okay with you dating someone of another race? I can definitely see my mom reacting, but I know she knows I won’t let her get away with saying anything mildly offensive. My dad would just go on with his life and will care more about the fact that I’m seeing someone, lol.

Do you like when friends stop by unexpectedly? No. Schedule it ahead and let me know. I’m not always mentally okay and them showing up as a surprise might just make me more stressed than grateful.

Where are the following people and what are they doing: mom, dad, sibling(s), best friend, significant other, ex, and last person you kissed? My entire family is under the same roof in their bedrooms, either sleeping or having just woken up. Angela is in Parañaque, probably at a cousin’s place; no significant other; I have no idea where my ex, and also the last person I kissed, is. She doesn’t really have anything to do with me anymore.

How strong are your feelings for the last person you kissed? They’re there. I’d still take a bullet for them if it comes down to it, the usual shit. Let’s move on.

What was the last thing someone else bought for you? My workplace gave me a grazing box as the company Christmas gift.

If your parents looked in your purse/book bag would they find anything you don’t want them to see? What about your bedroom? Do you have anything hidden in there? My vape pens. I came home from Starbucks last weekend and my mom thought my breath smelled like cigarettes and she almost got super pissed until I was able to convince her the only thing I put in my mouth was coffee, so I know my 22 year old, employed, self-earning ass would for sure still get in trouble if I was discovered to be vaping.

How close are you to the last person you hung out with? Can you be your complete self around them? It was the first time I met them and they are also my bosses, so I can’t exactly be my complete self around them yet. I had to act super reserved and to essentially make a good impression first before I start whipping out my jokes or whatever.

If you decided to call your ex right now, do you think he/she would answer? How would the conversation go? No, she’d reject it and tell me to text instead. If she was feeling snappy she would also tell me I’m no longer in the place to contact her that way. Sigh. Who is she anymore and why is she so different from the person I was with?

Are you attracted to the last person you exchanged numbers with? No.

Is music a daily part of your life? It’s not. Videos, more like.

Yellow nail polish: yes or no? Bright or neon yellow is a no, but I suppose more muted shades like mustard yellow can work for me.

What do you think of country music? Eh, not a fan. I would skip it in a second, and I never think about it.

Have you ever ended a relationship but wish you could’ve kept it a little longer? I’ve never ended a relationship.

Did you go to your high school’s graduation? Yes...that’s not an event I would’ve wanted to miss out on lol. That was a nice day. My grandparents came to watch me, and we had dinner at a revolving restaurant after.

If you could live the last three months over again, is there anything you’d change? Everything went to shit exactly three months ago, so this hits home very hard for me. Yes, I would change a lot of things for life not to have gone the way it has.

Who was the last person to message you on Facebook? What would you do if that person told you they have feelings for you? My mom. I would be creeped out and tell my dad immediately.

How did you feel when you woke up today? Melancholic.

Who was the first person you talked to today? What did you talk about? I haven’t talked to anyone yet today. I was thinking of replying to Aliyah’s comment on my Facebook post, but in the end I didn’t think a response was necessary.

When you apply your make-up, do you do it in a specific order? I don’t wear makeup.

Did you do anything sexual last night? No.

Do you think the last person you Facebook messaged is a virgin? She has three children, me included.

Did any of your friends lose their virginity before they were 16? If so, did you feel pressured to do the same? I don’t think my friends did, but I probably know other people who did. My baby asexual ass definitely didn’t feel the pressure. I was even scared shitless for my first kiss when it came time for it and I had kept putting it off that night.

Has someone of the opposite sex made you smile today? No.

Does it matter to you if your significant other smokes? With my previous relationship, it did in the beginning; eventually I just stopped caring.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? I think it may have been Andrew.

Do you like where you are in life right now? No. I don’t know if a new year would make it better, or if it would help give me a healthier mindset. I just have to wait and see.

Do you hate it when there is a fly around you? Very much.

Is your mom overbearing? She can be.

Is there snow where you live? Never.

[quarterette]

Utawarerumono: The False Faces ep 13-25 Liveblog

Gonna just straight up do individual episode comments, since the second half is gonna be denser in content. As with the first half, this is a rewatch and will have spoilers for the games.

Opening Comments: Man there’s not much movement in the animation but its beautiful all the same.

Ep 13:

- *spit take* why are they sending Rulu? IDK if it was because the directors weren’t informed about the whole “baby of the family” detail because I can’t imagine Shis letting this happen

- Interesting how instead being of a secret force that Oshtoru sent, Haku and gang are now the accompanying force to Rulu and Atuy.

- I’ll be pleasantly surprised if Entua makes more sense in the anime than in the games

- oh wow Dekopompo is even worse in the anime, straight-up running off on his own.

Ep 14:

- I like how instead of Atuy catching the arrow the twins have a force field. Granted, it make Atuy even more of a non-entity

- the extreme long shots of the CGI soldiers are really nice. I don’t feel like we see the loss of formations as they come into contact with each other often in war anime

- why are the twins running like that - imo that way too much movement for dainty girls (maybe I’ve watched too much anime)

- wow they totally recontextualized retrieving Shinonon and cut down a lot of potential runtime.

- did they seriously remove Atuy’s bloodlust

- you know open-eyed Ougi is growing on me, him and Nosuri have such lovely eye color

- poor Maroro

Ep 15:

- I’m relieved that the adaptation art makes Raiko look less like Lelouch. Always seemed like lazy design to me, him and Mikazuchi look nothing alike.

- did they introduce the telepaths in MoD? I can’t remember.

- that triple-take of Zeguni dying was just silly. If it were one slice x3 it would have been fine but this... Oshtoru be flexing with that mountain.

- I never really felt calling Witsu an Eva was quite right but with the Akuruturuka.... yeah I see it.

- truly we are in the war arc proper now.

- Heh wouldn’t it have been interesting to have the proxies’ subservience kick in instead of having the twins shield Haku. Oh well missed opportunities. IMO it would have worked well with the accelerated timeline the anime needed to achieve.

- what is with the triple takes this episode

- ah haku wasn’t even able to save them gg

- post episode revisiting the VN comments:

they hint at the telepaths, and as I thought the Vurai razing the city wasn’t in the VN. It was a good showpiece and works with Vurai’s characterization, but messes with Haku’s as a cost - the VN suggests that Haku inherently can be ruthless (he suggests scapegoating Moznu for Anju’s kidnapping, which the anime totally skips over), while it looks like the anime is gonna use this mass destruction as the reason for steeling his heart. I can’t say I hate that the writers chose to have the main characters in the fray, but it definitely requires more suspension of disbelief that everyone got out okay compared to the VN.

- Interestingly we don’t see Oshtoru’s mech form at all. I do like the increased bro scenes between Mikazuchi and Oshtoru

Ep 16:

- Yeah we immediately feel the ripples of that last episode changing Haku’s trajectory... its a logical trajectory but... ugh. I’m not sure how I feel about such a contrary Haku. It wasn’t really a thing in the VN? So frustrating augh. Utawarerumono was never a story big on moralizing about war... and the anime writers aren’t doing a great job adding it in.

- I’m 99% sure they pulled some of Ukon’s lines for comforting Haku here from a conversation they had in the VN waaaayyy back around the gigiri fight, making the scene all the more frustrating. The concepts of powerlessness and loss of life is something that Haku had been introduced to the moment he woke up and had already been working on dealing with. I can’t say its an invalid take that he’d be shook over mass destruction (I mean, most people would) but it’s a sharp deviation from the VN.

- Oh wow they’re totally gonna retool the banquet to deal with haku’s trauma instead of him dealing with his memories of being the LAST OF HIS KIND aren’t they.

- yeah they did

- oh god don’t say the word seduce haku, rulu’s gonna die from blood loss

- lol i don’t remember the twins being tied up

- rulu is dead

- and now haku is dead too. I think only Ougi and Yakutowaruto escaped unscathed.

- this did give me the bro bonding that I had been missing in the show thus far. Not enough drinking scenes! like literally the VN is literally just baths and booze between the action lol

Ep 17:

- ah finally the flashback episode. lol all the crunchyroll comments are like “watch the first season”.

- haku calling his new buddies family... oof mito’s knowing gaze makes it all the much sadder

- Haku:”did you need to go that far” Mito: “lemme do it again with Tuskuru”

- hah “reposition your camera” nice, easy way to not show his face

- heh stares at your sister-in-law’s butt, that’s actually a pretty subtle hint without adapting any of the monologue from the VN that he kinda had feelings for her

- damn this is probably the most complete vision of the future we get in any medium

- hey to be fair the ameterasu blast was mutsumi and not exactly a product of mankind fighting each other - but it does go to show just how little Mito knew about what was actually going down

- to continue with my frustration, we see that haku is called out by his bro that he has a habit of “conceal don’t feel” so it makes his emo bit last episode even more jarring - though in hindsight I guess his depression comes less out of the blue for his friends now - its just that the reason is misattributed

- oof “make up for lost time”

- ooh I like the final scene with Woshis as the delegate to Tuskuru. The VN did fine without it but man what a cliffie for those watching the first time.

Ep 18:

- oof we’re not going to have any shinonon/kiwru antics are we

- man I can’t wait to see Benawi - he was my favorite chara in Uta1 after Touka

- wow they really did just ignore the fact that Kiwru is the prince of Ennakamuy and cut him out of the party

- dugh never mind I don’t like ougi’s open eyes here

- speaking of ougi they totally glossed over his role as reconnaissance

- and have they even mentioned that nosuri is trying to retake their clan’s name?

- cocopo still best bird

Ep 19:

- of course you’ll be sweaty haku, boro boro only wears that brown undershirt in tuskur smh

- i love how all of the dads we see dote on their daughters so much

- of course only now do they mention the fact that atuy and haku are drinking buddies and we just have to take it at face value

- actually seeing those sailor uniforms in action make atuy’s regret that much funnier, the stills don’t quite do it justice (though really, it’s the sound effects carrying the team)

- lol the background soyankekur antics are great

- cocopooooo noooo damn this romance with mukkur is great

Ep 20:

- huhu woshis was allowed down to the underground garden huh

- benawiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

- dang they didn’t use the hot air balloon ;-; so disappointing like if they do it this way they won’t even get to retake the supplies ;-;

- i guess its a good way to hint at kuon’s identity

- something is wrong with kurou’s face

- also where the fuck is nosuri - i know kiwru is a lost cause for this show but nosuri too? they really are trying to wipe out the tactics seen in the VN

- i do think the line about kurou’s line to kuon about “ripping the country in half” is nice - can’t remember if it was in the VN but at this point most of the good lines seem to be coming out of the VN

- ugh the twins are such a cop out, still think they should have went with the hot air balloon strategy

- we hardly knew ye mito

Ep 21:

- dang I’m pleasantly surprised by these CG soldiers

- bye bye munechika, still salty you can’t turn into a mech

- oof “I’m sure my mom was someone like you” this show lives and breathes on dramatic irony

- bye bye anju, what was the point of actually having oshtoru there when the tea was delivered? makes him seem more incompetent than he is, though entua was nowhere to be seen - imo for the best

- oshtoru, an honorable man through and through, giving up your mask, lowkey too honorable for your own good

- okay one of my favorite things is how regularly dekopompo is ignored during the generals’ council meetings; overlapping voices isn’t really a thing in the VNs due to its nature as a written medium first and foremost

- oh interesting Oshtoru’s men are coming to defend him that’s new

- oh no torture time ;-;

- post episode VN notes: ugh they also dropped the Woshis power grab of locking Dekopompo and Raiko outside of the gates

Ep 22:

- Yes go be a dad Yakuto and stop Nekone from doing stupid shit please oh please oh please

- Man they are seriously retooling oshtoru’s downfall aren’t they - wish it didn’t come off so crudely planned. Like, y’all know Oshtoru is loved by the people, did the generals not think some sort of rioting would happen if you let that info go public? Granted the original plot of having Entua sneak the info out is pretty contrived... but at least it better preserves the perceived competency of the generals by forcing a smaller timeframe in which everything goes down.

- man people watching this will be so confused next season when they realize Kiwru is a prince

- wut Kuon you should know you probably won’t be able to get info to the princesses once y’all leave. Good that Shinonon is going on ahead to Ennakamuy though.

- eh are they’re gonna try leaving by sea this time? even though Ennakamuy is in the mountains?

- secret tunnel ~ ♫

- aw no Evenkuruga reveal for Nosuri and Ougi. Though, I guess the anime never established that their base was in the Hakuorokaku basement...

- you know, since they just generalized the jamming barrier it’s kinda nice to see that the gang had to sneak in the hard way. IMO that’s one of the “game design justifies the plot” moments - the VN tries to keep everyone together so you can have all your unit options when fighting, but let’s be honest smaller strike teams work at times.

- oh hi Honoka, you’re not arrested here? guess not.

- oh god have they been translating Atuy’s “onii-san”s as “mister” this whole time? I can’t say that “love” was a better translation but that’s just tragic

- I wish we got more hints that haku actually has been doing some training (aka the SRPG parts of the game) rather than these random moments of competency and knocking out the guards.

- good god oshtoru your honorableness is gonna be the death of you. how can you trust Vurai. Seriously idk how it’s gonna turn out here, but Vurai literally wants to see Anju dead in the VN.

- ok i lie splitting the party was a terrible idea. they are taking way too long to convince oshtoru to take a stand. these men are way too stubborn. jk its fine

- whelp there goes the boat

- aw yeh Yakutowaruto lets go

Ep 23:

- Yakutowaruto continues to be a badass

- ugh and of course Oshtoru gets hurt, and he’s not gonna tell anyone

- ok I’m enjoying how acrobatic these twins are

- the plot change ripples continue to be seen; there’s no distractions at the gates since dekopompo is inside the gates. Raiko’s strategy stuff does make for good tension tho.

- ugh the fact that Soyankekuru is in the capital is gonna complicate things. The moment Atuy is seen to defect he’s screwed. That’s gonna change the timeframe of things second half.

- lol Kuon god powers time, hope there weren’t too many casualties. Poor Nosuri now has two sacks of people to deal with...

- ok I feel like I’m seeing more poor art quality this episode

- wow it seems that everyone’s on board for some arson today

- bruh don’t take him through the sewers Oshtoru’s wound’s gonna get infected

- oh god who thought it was a good idea to give Rulu a blade.

- Cocopo best bird. Period. MVP.

- Soyankekuru, what a guy.

Ep 24:

- ooh mech fight in the city? oh nvm its just a sword fight. a sword fight between two beasts. thank god vurai ain’t that dumb

- wait they said there was a barrier in the palace, but i don’t think there was a barrier for the outer walls? why the frick didn’t the twins just teleport out for the last bit? they were pretty close to the gates... unless they needed the gates open anyways?

- vurai? not dumb? scratch that, good god do y’all not care about the safety of the people? guess not cuz it’s MECH FIGHT TIME (ok, if we’re honest oshtoru’s the one who initiated so yes he’s equally dumb)

- water vs fire, groudon vs kyogre, this is what animation is all about YASSS

- the twins’ shield is too OP

- haku please stop indulging Nekone

- will the twins actually be able to seal Vurai? they were kind of trash at doing their job in the VN (though they did have the good excuse of being exhausted for this particular instance)

- ok that nekone running sequence is jank

- damn haku blocked that punch? oh no he’s on fire

- looking like nekone’s “it was my fault” is gonna be part of a cascade of setbacks rather than the final blow. I’m kinda glad - the VN’s take was probably the most exasperating part of the whole story - gutwrenching but also made me want to punch her. I’m up for arguing whether or not taking that away was a good thing

- oh no the salt. no. how could you put it at the post-credits scene.

- vurai’s confirmed dead? that could be a problem next season.

Ep 25:

- dang what an opener giving us no info just kuon looking sad. we had emo haku now get ready for emo kuon i guess

- nuedori is probably my favorite song after kimi ga tame, such a good song to overlay the time skip over

- man anime viewers must be so confused. like they saw Haku and Oshtoru get out of town but only Oshtoru show up. man this is so effed up.

- no not the fan noooo augh  brokoro in the kokoro

- sad nekone really sells it doesn’t it

- dang I knew Ennakamuy was surrounded by mountains but I guess the anime went and interpreted that as a CRATER

- at least kuon didn’t leave until later in the night?

-i know the twins did a spell in the VN as well but seeing the visual change between haku and oshtoru is a bit silly

- what’s with the flower field that’s so cheesy

- i can see why someone said laughed rather than cried during this particular use of kimi ga tame - the alternating shots to his saltification is just silly, there’s so many prettier shots for showing people dissolving - like the VN gave you a very serviceable “standing on a cliff as the sun rises and you fade into dust” why didn’t you take it

- side note in the VN i was imagining it something like this scene from CCS but different lighting (sorry I could only find the english dub on short notice, timestamp at 1:13:24):

- also how could you get everyone off model during such an important part

- you know what I’m just gonna pretend that there was some really bad production crunch so they had to do a rush job smh

- i do like this orchestration tho

- oh god the cheese never ends, now it’s raining

- that said it’s not terrible, but definitely missing something compared to the VN

- haha with some of your decisions next season you might just end up in Denebokshir Haku. jk we all know how it ends

- boro boro ;-; yes go hug your kid she needs all the comfort she can get

[zoeytheweeb]

UPDATE: Please read (don’t worry it’s nothing bad I promise)

Okay I know I haven’t really posted anything, and yes I have been lurking on Tumblr for the last few weeks (maybe a month now? idk) but that was mostly to read salt fics and look at memes. Anyways, on to the important stuff. And by important, I mean this is just an update on what I’ve been doing and why there hasn’t been any new chapters which I’m so so so sorry for not uploading anything. BEWARE, this is a pretty long post (at least for me, it’s probably fine for everyone else lol)

First off, THANK YOU SO MUCH like holy shit I just noticed I had 200 followers and like oh my god that’s literally the most amount of followers I have ever gotten so tytytyty!

Secondly, I haven’t abandoned #notmychatnoir, more like I’ve been struggling to write chapter 4 the way I want to write it because suddenly everything I wrote in it so far has made me unhappy and I also realized that while I mentioned it, I never really showed the citizens and press (other than the miracuclass of course) being salty of Chat Noir themselves so I’ve been rearranging things and removing a few other things to save for either chapter 5 or 6. The only problem is I also want to make chapter 4 longer, even if only slightly, than the other chapters simply as an apology for taking so long to get it out.

I’ve also been debating with myself over the outline I came up with for the story, which is why I’m asking everyone now: What would you like to see in #notmychatnoir? I still plan on having Felinette fluff, and I will not be doing an Adrien redemption in this fic seeing as the whole point of this was to be super salty towards him, but if anyone has any ideas of what they wanna see then I promise that I will at least consider it. I make no promises of your ideas being added, but they will definitely be helpful.

As for K12, I had a complete outline of what I wanna do for each story, but I’ve been thinking about changing some of the stories before writing them. Most of the chapters I’ve already planned out for each song will still happen the way I want them to happen, but that’ll depend on what my hands decide to type lol. Also, I must remind everyone that most of the chapters are unconnected one-shots, with only a few of them being connected into their own stories. However, depending on how each one-shot ends, I might make a follow-up or aftermath of what happens. Keyword being might though, there’s no guarantee that I’ll actually do it if I can’t find the inspiration or if nobody has any specific requests for said aftermaths.

I would also like to know if anyone has any requests for K12. Specifically, any scenarios they would like to see play out? They have to fit with the song though (Class Fight, Detention, any K12 song I haven’t written and posted yet, which is literally everything but Wheels on the Bus as of right now lol). I also want to know if there are any pairings you would like to see, or any specific character being there for Marinette during whichever scenario either you, the readers or I, the writer, decide on. For example, the friend that gave me the idea for K12 in the first place wanted the Highschool Sweethearts chapter to have Marichat, IIRC.

You can reply in the comments or reblogs but it will be a lot easier for me, now that my notifications tend to blow up every now and then, if you simply sent an ask or a DM/PM regarding any requests you may have for #notmychatnoir, K12, or even if you want me to write a one-shot or drabble based on any scenario you may have in mind. For that last one though, I can’t promise I’ll be able to do all of your requests, much less perfectly and on time (because I’m still a teenager dealing with high school and family and procrastination in general), but I do promise that I will at least try.

Lastly, I don’t know if I mentioned it (I feel like I did) but if I didn’t then I planned on writing a somewhat salty, and bittersweet, one-shot based on Melanie Martinez’s song Pity Party. It’s gonna be Lukanette, and it was supposed to be out on my birthday but I didn’t finish in time nor did I finish in time for the other deadline I gave myself. However, I still planned on releasing that particular one-shot this year so I have been working on that for the last few weeks and I’d like to think it’s almost done. I’m not going to say you should get your hopes up, but, I do plan on finishing it before New Year’s eve. I will try to finish it tonight, in time for Christmas eve or Christmas itself, but I’ve learned that I shouldn’t try to give myself any specific deadlines so I make no promises but at least I’m trying to finish it. So, look forward to that! Or don’t, if Lukanette’s not your cup of tea, then that’s fine.

That was all for my fanfic-related updates. If you would like to read my short life update, then keep reading. If you don’t then that’s all for this post.

Life update: I’ve been officially on winter break since last Thursday (the 19th), and boy is the small freedom amazing lmao. This semester wasn’t exactly my best (specifically my geometry grades and just procrastination in general) but I at least managed to get an A in French and passed all of my final exams except for my Geometry final (although that didn’t surprise me because I was lucky enough to even get a D in that class as my overall grade for the semester).

So now that I don’t have to worry about school until the break is over, which won’t be until January 9th I think, either that or the 8th, I have slightly more free time on my hands that I’ve been spending just catching up on anime, sleep, and fanfics that I’ve been reading (and writing, of course). I’ve also spent most of my money on Persona 5 and Blazblue: Cross Tag Battle so I’ve been spending time playing both of those games as well. Spoiler alert: both of those games are amazing and I’m totally gonna buy that Neopolitan DLC eventually because she’s amazing and her Astral Finish is badass.

Also, even though I’ve been told that I shouldn’t try to grow up so fast, I’ve been thinking about getting a part-time job (because I can’t rely on monthly allowance and asking my mom for a loan forever, especially if I can’t even pay back that loan in time) and I also wanna learn how to drive so I’ve just been preparing myself for both important (to me at least) things.

Lastly (for real this time lol), one of my cousins is coming down to my city for a few days this week to celebrate his birthday which is great but also a perfect opportunity for me to spend more time with him and his brother because I feel like we’ve been growing apart and the fact that both of them are no longer single despite being the same age as me (heck, I’m the “middle child” out of the 3 of us lol) makes me feel really left out which is a big oof. So I’m looking forward to spending these next few days with them as well as finishing that one-shot I mentioned.

So yeah, life is gonna be somewhat hectic for me next year as I try to take baby steps into having a responsible life and be independent but overall it’s pretty good.

If you actually got this far into the post then thanks for reading about my life I guess lol.

[alissamarietart]

Okay this is a long post but please bear with me. I just want to give an update about upcoming life/job changes that will also affect my shop, convention schedule, and Patreon.

OKAY SO! I do have some exciting, important life changes coming up. I have finally secured a full-time art job in Michigan! Yay! I will be an art assistant to start out with and probably not actually doing much drawing. And when I do start doing more artwork, it will be vector art in Adobe Illustrator, so very different from what I normally do and post on this blog, Insta, etc. Idk if I will even be able to post the stuff at all I do for this job though but hey! It’s full time! So I’ll be getting paid well for it. And it being very well from my usual work means I won’t get burnt out on my own art.

However, because of the attendance policy for newcomers, I don’t think I’ll be able to do Youmacon if I get in off the wait list this year. Which sucks. But it’s a necessary sacrifice I’ll have to make. The one day off I’ll get in my first 90 days will have to be used for Grand Rapids Comic Con, since I was already accepted to that con and paid for it long ago. There is a TINY change I could do Youmacon if I got in, but most likely I won’t be able to. So my next and last cons for sure for a while will be Capital City Comic Con this Saturday September 8th, 2018 in Lansing, MI, and Grand Rapids Comic Con on November 9th-11th, 2018 in Grand Rapids, MI.

Also, my current seasonal part-time job is now down to just Saturday-Sunday weekends, then in October, Friday nights for our Halloween event, with the last day of our season being October 21st. So I start my full time Monday-Friday job on September 10th, and will be working at my other job on the weekends till October 21st. So I’ll have a very jam-packed schedule and probably only be able to do sketches until then, which is why I’ve actually been posting my sketches on social media rather than just keeping them Patreon exclusives lately. I don’t want to just not post art because of this. Also, I do still plan on doing Drawtober this year. It’ll be a much bigger schedule this time around because I’ll likely be working 7 days a week but....I’ll make it work lol.

Also, my new job will be 7 AM - 3 PM, Monday-Friday, which means plenty of time in the afternoon and on weekends (after the season for my other job ends) to draw! But also until @garcondesfleurs and I can save up enough to move into a new place, I will be driving an hour and 20 minutes to work, and an hour and 20 minutes back home. So there will definitely be a big adjustment period with the long and tiring commute lol. I will have to get up early than ever before on a regular basis. But it will be worth it. This job has health, vision, and dental insurance, is closed with PTO on major holidays, and also starts off with 5 other paid days off after your first 90 days with acquiring more days off the more years you work there. And they have reviews every 6 months with the opportunity for a raise if you meet the qualifications for how much you’ve improved. So I just couldn’t pass this opportunity up.

However, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Because of limited days off, I probably won’t be able to do NEARLY as many conventions for the next couple of years. Which means there won’t be a need for me to make as much merch like stickers, charms, acrylic pins, buttons, etc. Not to mention I won’t want to use as much of my free time to make them. While I love making smaller merch, I often put other personal projects I am more passionate about aside to pump out the smaller merch like charms and stickers because they are my big money makers. But now I will have money from this job, so I won’t have to worry about this, and can focus solely on what I want to draw the absolute MOST in my free time.

It also means I will likely have to simplify my Patreon. I likely won’t be able to keep up with the amount of tiers I have right now while having a full time job as well, especially during the time when I'm also working the part-time job on top of it, and I may not be able to keep up with the physical rewards of stickers, charms, etc because I may not be producing enough new designs for small merch to send Patrons non-repeats. So after this month’s physical rewards, I will likely have to do another Patreon overhaul for the sake of my own sanity, with less tiers and likely no physical rewards other than digital coupons for my Etsy. I don't want to overwork myself into the ground with too many tasks and little to no breaks and wind up with bad physical and mental health because of it.

I will still be doing my own art though! I’m actually very excited because I think the financial stability from this art job will allow me to have a greater sense of freedom in what I can do on my own. And I’m actually really looking forward to it. :3 

The other issue I was having was the money from cons and my shop was just enough to supplement my day job to pay bills, groceries, etc, but not pushing it over the edge to where I’d have a good cushion to make more new merch and pay for more con tables. So even if I was profiting well off cons, minimum wage money from a part-time seasonal day job meant that those con profits just went right into my living expenses basically, not leaving me much room to do more, not only in the way of making new merch and signing up for new cons which created its own conundrum, but also to just do other fun life things...not to mention move out.

So yeah. It will be a lot of big changes at first, and I hope I don’t disappoint anyone with the changes to my convention schedule, my Patreon, and the amount of stickers, charms, etc I produce and sell in my shop but...I think it will be worth it for me in the end. Especially if I can go back to doing more art that isn’t just stickers and charms again soon. I miss doing other illustrations more frequently lol.

So yeah. Thank you for reading through this long post, and for sticking around this blog and liking my art and stuff. :3 I hope you all have a lovely week~

[nonstop-smashing-expectations]

Dream Job (poly!hamilsquad x reader)

Warnings: heartbreak, angst, cheating/ infidelity mentions.

Everything is under the read more!

Request: Is it possible to do a fic where the reader is in a relationship with the hamilsquad (polymourous) and they break up because they think your cheating on them. Then you move away and somehow meet them again years later and everything has changed. Idk, this idea had been stuck in head for a long time. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. And your an amazing writer.

With a smile, you leaned back in your seat. You had just finished all the work you had needed to get done for the day.

You had been working overtime because there had been a rumor at your work that someone was going to be promoted soon.

While you had enough money with your income and your boyfriends’ income, you still wanted to be promoted.

You had gotten a job in your dream field and a promotion would be one step closer to your dream job.

So you were working harder than ever, trying to show that you were a reliable and hardworking individual, not to say that you weren’t normally, it’s just that a promotion would be amazing for your career.

With a sigh, you stretched your arms above your head and then grabbed the paper work you needed to drop off at your boss’s desk.

Your boss had also been working late, although that was mainly because they just had a lot of work to do.

It wasn’t a surprise to you to see your boss still sitting at their desk, so caught up in working that they didn’t hear your arrival.

You knocked on the door with a small smile, papers held in your other hand.

Your boss looked up from their work and smiled, knowing that you were there to drop your work off for them to double check.

You placed the files on their desk and was about to walk out of the door when your boss said your name.

You turned to look at them, feeling slightly confused.

“I know that you have been working hard for the promotion, and I wanted to make sure that you weren’t just working hard for that one reason so I looked into your past history here. It looked like you’ve always been a hard worker here but now you’re stressing yourself out working overtime. Is there a reason you want this promotion so badly?” Your boss was smiling slightly as they spoke, but you couldn’t help feeling nervous. Was working this much going to kill your chance at your dream job?

Taking a deep breath, you spoke, your voice trembling slightly. “I joined this career field because it can lead me to working my dream job. And a promotion would led me on the right path towards that dream job. I know that it might take a long time to achieve that, but that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”

Your boss nodded at your words and replied, “Then I think I made the right choice of choosing to promote you.”

Your eyes widened slightly and your boss continued, “Go home and get some sleep. I hope that you won’t need to work as much overtime as you have been.”

You nodded and thanked them, before walking to your car to go home.

It wasn’t until you were sitting your car that it hit you. You did it! All that overtime had paid off!

With a wide grin on your face, you started the car and drove home, excited to tell your boyfriends that you had got the promotion.

You had mentioned to them a few months ago that you were going to be staying at work late and that you’d be missing dinner with all of them. You had told them about the promotion and how it could lead to your dream job.

All of them agreed that they were ok with this. After all, they hadn’t seen your eyes shine like that in a while and they knew this was something you had been working towards for a while.

They all understood it. John got the same energetic gleam in his eyes when he found a perfect painting reference. Hercules looked like that when he completed a piece of clothing that looked exactly like the idea in his head. Lafayette looked like that when he was trying teaching you all French and Alex looked like that when he got to debate things he was passionate about (so almost everything).

They weren’t going to stop you from having that experience, that joy, even if it meant that they would hardly see you.

So on your way back home, you decided to pick up a cake. It was a special occasion and you had decided that it was one that you should celebrate.

But when you got home holding the cake in your arms, you didn’t expect to see your boyfriends sitting in a row, facing the door you had just walked through.

Setting the cake down on a nearby table, you turned to look at your boyfriends.

“Alex? Herc? Laf? John? Is something wrong?”

They all glanced at each other and then slowly looked bad at you as if mentally playing Rock Paper Scissors to see who would talk first.

You took a deep breath in through your nose, worried about what they were about to say. What happened that caused them to look like they wanted to be anywhere but here in this moment?

A few seconds later Alex nodded as he seemed to have lost whatever mental conversation he was having with the others and turned to look at you.

“At first everything was fine,” Alex looked a bit pained as he continued talking, “we could handle knowing that you wouldn’t be here for our group dinners because we knew that you were working as hard as you can for that promotion.” Alex looked away, tears pooling in his eyes, unable to continue talking.

Hercules took a deep breath and continued where Alex left off, “But then you started leaving really early in the morning and not showing up again until hours after your work day ended.”

Lafayette then added his thoughts, “You don’t even really talk to us anymore and when you do, it’s only about the promotion. The promotion that shouldn’t have taken this long to be decided. We starting thinking about why you’d be gone so much and why you wouldn’t talk about how your day went.”

John spoke next, “But then we realized that you’re cheating on us. That’s why you made up the lie about a promotion, so that you could be gone a lot and not have to worry about us catching on.”

You froze in disbelief. How could they think that?

With tears in your eyes, you replied, “I didn’t lie! There was a promotion! And guess who got the promotion? It was me! That’s why I brought home that cake.”

They glanced at each other and then looked back at you like they didn’t believe you.

“Fine! If you won’t listen to me, then I’ll leave! And I’m taking my cake with me.” You grabbed the cake off the counter and put it in your car, before you went back into the house. You rushed down the hall to the bedroom you all shared and grabbed as much of your belongings as you could. Then, with one last glance at your ex boyfriends and with one last glance at the house you had shared with them, you started your car and drove away to the nearest hotel.

Luckily, they had a room available for a few days and that was the room you took.

As soon as you had carried all your belongings to your room, you laid on the bed and fell asleep, too exhausted to be able to stay awake and cry about what happened.

The next morning when you woke up, you ate the complimentary breakfast that the hotel offered and then you went back to your room to get ready for work.

Once you were in your room however, all you could see was reminders of the events that had occurred last night, that the people you loved the most thought you had been cheating on them.

It was then that you cried, as you got ready to go to work. That promotion had simultaneously been the best and the worst thing that had happened to you. It got you closer to your dream job, but it also caused your breakup.

With a sigh, you wiped the tears off your face and left the room.

You had barely stepped foot into your workplace when your boss called you over.

Your coworkers stared after you as you walked into your boss’s office.

“I was told this morning that with your promotion, there was an opportunity for you to move to another city to work for our company at their headquarters. I was told that you’d have more of a chance at your dream job than if you stay here. I promised them that I’d talk to you about it to see if you wanted to take this opportunity.”

You stood there, a bit dazed, trying to comprehend what your boss had just said. You could move out of this city? And would have a better chance to get your dream job?

“I know that this is a big decision and-”

You cut your boss off mid sentence, “I’d love to move to the headquarters. I think that this would be a good thing for me.”

With a smile, your boss promised to call the headquarters and arrange to have you moved there.

You weren’t disappointed about leaving this city. It meant that you could buy your own house and start over. You could move away from the memories this place holds.

~~~~~

Three years later, you knew that you had made the right decision in moving.

Not only did moving to another city help you forget about the painful breakup, but it also helped you finally get your dream job. You had bought a nice house and the city had quickly felt like home.

You lived each day in an almost euphoric state of happiness from doing what you loved everyday.

Today had been no different from that. You had woke up in a great mood and made breakfast, walking to the nearby local coffee/tea shop to order your favorite drink.

With the drink in hand, you walked out the door and headed back to your house.

On the way there however, you saw something that made your mood plummet.

Across the street stood your exes, laughing at something one of them had said.

They hadn’t seen you yet, allowing you to quickly cycle through the emotions seeing them had brought up.

Taking a deep breathe, you forced down the anger and the pain. You kept your face neutral as they looked in your direction.

You could see the shock on their faces when they saw you, followed quickly by pain and heartbreak.

They had found out that you had been promoted and that you weren’t lying when they found out you had moved.

They had tried to contact you several times but you had blocked their numbers.

And now, looking at you, they wanted nothing more than for you to take them back.

You squared your shoulders as you walked past them, not giving them any attention and ignoring their attempts at talking to you. They wouldn’t listen to you when you needed them to, so why should you listen to them now?

As you walked away from them, you didn’t see the tears fall from their eyes or the guilt and despair that accompanied it. They still weren’t quite over you and nothing felt the same without you there. And now it never would.

[belfastdan]

2017

What a year.

It’s mid November, 2017. Tonight as I write this, I’m 40,000 feet high heading towards Ireland for the first time since last Winter. I am listening to Ólafur Arnolds’ beautiful tones. I look out the window to my left and see the most spectacular view of a clear, star filled sky with the Northern Lights overshadowing them with their beauty and amazement. I look down and see ice fields with what looks like rivers running through them - or maybe it’s Greenland, IDK. It’s a beautiful moment regardless. I think a lot, as I always do when I travel. Where I am going? What’s next? Thinking of the emotions I’ve felt, thought patterns, events and the life changes I have made this past year.

This was a spare of the moment trip. I was homesick recently - probably the most I’d felt since immigrating to Canada, I wasn’t working - nor having luck finding a job, a bit lonely and missing my family and friends from home too much to not take the opportunity of gaining the energy my family, friends and Belfast gives me.

2017 was all the things. Exciting, heart warming, tough, eye opening and sad.

I returned to Canada after my last trip home in January. It was very cold and remained very cold till mid-April. My roommate was on a trip for the following 8 weeks. I was lonely, sad and struggled leaving the apartment in the cold with no structure or reason to. I spent most of my days desperately trying to find work, however with my confidence being low from loosing a job unexpectedly, my visa at the time ending in spring and my French not up to scratch to actually work in French, I wasn’t successful.

My true friends came out of the limelight at this time and helped immensely with support, keeping me busy, inviting me over and sending the odd message to let me know they were there. I was very lucky.

Volunteering By February, I decided to put my energy and time to use and began volunteering with a wonderful not-for-profit organisation in Montreal called Santropol Roulant. I was back in the game of having a focus and reason to leave home each day, doing something that was important and meeting new friends. I helped mostly with their Meals on Wheels program, preparing and delivering food to old and vulnerable people throughout with city. I met so many amazing people here, practised my french and did important work. It was great to work for something with capitalism not at its heart.

PR Battle Before loosing my job, I was hoping to and had already started to apply for Permanent Residency through a Quebec program, but after the job loss, that too was out the window, as I didn’t have enough credentials not being French. So I started to aim my focus and energy at leaving Quebec finally after 2 amazing years there. Off course the province I chose to settle in didn’t allow me to apply directly to the federal government’s Express Entry program, so I had no other choice but to leave the province of Quebec to apply and start fresh again.

East to West Canada Trying to make the best of what had happened and having all this time on my hands, I decided to travel to parts of Canada I hadn’t been to yet. Mainly to see if there were any other cities I could see myself living in and also to explore the country I thought I loved so well. From east to west, it really inspired me. I started with a beautiful lone train journey to the east coast from Montreal, Quebec to New Brunswick and then Halifax, Nova Scotia. I had the best trip. I wasn’t long alone, where I was greeted by friend of a Montreal friend, Andrew, who not having met before, offered the most amazing hospitality, showing me the city he loved and introducing me to his wonderful friends. The highlight of this trip was a rainy drive out to Peggy’s Cove with his friends to see the rugged coast line and beautiful scenery, then finishing at his friend’s apartment singing and playing Irish folk songs while eating their local delicacy kebabs.

A month later, I continued my journey across Canada to the west this time. I travelled to Winnipeg, Edmonton, Calgary, Banff, Lake Minnewaka, Vermillion Lakes, Lake Louise, Columbia Icefields, Jasper and then took the train through The Rockies to Vancouver. Again, I was so lucky to have my friend Roxanne to host me, show me around and travel with on arrival to Alberta. The Rockies were out of this world, postcard material, Edmonton was super fun - with such an edge and underground scene that I didn’t expect. It helped that a lot of my Montreal friends were from there and gave me lists of things to do too.

Tom then brought me into Vancouver with a bang, again introducing me to his incredible friends, I had a true Vancouver experience on my week there. What a beautiful city, with a soul connected to nature. I’ll never forget this trip.

Summer Towards the start of my summer, I made the decision that Toronto would be the next city for me, so I decided to set a date for the of summer, for one last glorious summer in the city I love so well. After all, we don’t put ourselves through the harshest winter there for nothing. From June to September I make each moment count, I celebrated Montreal, I danced, I became closer to my tight knitted friendships groups, I practised yoga daily, cooked, drank wine and beer with friends in the park, sunbathed, biked, went camping, apple picking and walks, volunteered and laughed. It was special and will always be remembered as one of my favourites. Saying goodbye in September was so difficult though, after creating such a life for myself, arriving to a city I didn’t know many people and being so accepted as part of the furniture will never be forgotten nor will my love for this incredible place I’ll always call home.

Toronto Initially, from all cities I’d visited so far, Toronto made sense, it was close to Europe still, close to Montreal for those odd weekends, I could speak English again, it’s basically the capital (without Parliament) with most of Canada’s population, industries and opportunities. I made it happen. I used to host on Airbnb in Belfast and once I hosted two people from Canada. I now live with those two, Sarah and Michael and also Danielle and our cat Billie. It really has been the perfect mixture of fun, comfort, family in a beautiful modern townhouse.

Generally I haven’t fitted in nor feel as settled as I did in Montreal yet, I have to give myself time and patience though. I know that will come - there’s obviously a reason so many choose to come to live in Toronto. Once I find that perfect job (now many weeks in the failed making), I’m sure my lifestyle will more suit this huge vibrant city more than fun’employed.

Onwards I’ve hopefully landed a few freelance contracts that will start over the coming weeks, which will keep me busy and focused and help pay those never ending life bills. I’m excited about the unknown,

I’ve also applied for Permanent Residency - and now in the bureaucratic waiting to not go anywhere. I really hope everything works out. I wake up thinking about it, I goto sleep thinking about it. I worry. But I hope. With Brexit and Nationalist Britain, I really don’t see myself returning to Northern Ireland in the next few years, so this is my opportunity to make something else better for myself. I’m open to whatever happens, but I will try this first.

That’s it - a year in one blog post. Thanks for reading and for always supporting me on my journey. The never ending one.

Now, where’s the Guinness?

[brandoncarlo]

hello! you're studying in canada right? as someone who's looking at colleges, how do u recommend going to college in canada when you're from america?

I would say climate is very important lmao like i’m in Toronto and Toronto Winters are as bad or even a little less worse than Boston Winters which i’m used to. but like I would probably die if i went to University of Regina or whatever. Also like, it’s really expensive to travel across the country? idk why it’s most expensive in canada than the US i think it’s because there’s like 2 airlines in canada versus the 10 billion in the US so like. if you want to move from one coast to the other be prepared for that??

I think the thing that hit me the most was like, the food was really similar so i didn’t even think to have my parents send me food until i realized a lot of the food i had relied on wasn’t there?? like the type of food was but the brands were all different and they all tasted real bad (or just different and u’m bad with change and i’m really picky). LIke i felt bad because a kid who lived in my dorm was from Nigeria and was like “the food is so different!” and i was like “yeah! wait no. that’s not even comparable” but i had really bad homesickness and i was like “I just want maruchan ramen why is this happening to me.” So i guess from that i’d take the idea that, just beacuse Canada is very similar to America and other people wil have a harder time adjusting, things are different and ive lived here for 3 years so it’s my normal now but it might be a lot weirder than you’re expecting it to be.

Tell your school!! you need!!! your final grades!!! i got waitlisted to my schools in canada because in the US you only need midterm grades but in canada i needed my final grades. so my highschool waited until July to send my final grades! like i was immediately taken off the watilist the day after because i was overqualified for the schools but it still stressed me out.

The most stressful part will probably be applying for a visa because you need to be accepted into a school before you can apply for it which means you have to basically choose a school before you know you can go. So for that I say if you get accepted and you want to go, do the application immediately, go to a CVS or a passport place and get the picture done there don’t try to do it on your own and submit ASAP. In my experience they say it’ll take a month or more but it won’t take that long at all. 

I think the other thing is consider the more mundane stuff, like your phone plan? I have an international plan through TMobile and it works amazing in Canada but it’s shit back home cause it’s tmobile. And also opening a bank account. I use TD Bank because you can do cross border banking for no charge but my whole family has bank of america so if they want to transfer money to me they usually have fees. And also pay attention to the exchange rate like if it’s really good one day and maybe you were going to get a transfer for your parents for tuition soon maybe do it that day so you can actually spend less american dollars on canadian tuition. And like think about the landscape of where you’re going, I don’t drive and I go to school in Toronto which is a super easy city to get around. Like every street has a bus or a street car and while native torontonians will complaina bout the subway it’s actually really good. 

Also for a canadian visa be prepared to be unable to work. with a student visa you basically have to like prove you’re there to learn not to work so you’re only allowed to work 20 hours a week during school. You can work full time during breaks like in the summer, but while taking classes you can’t. You also need to be full time student the whole time. So if you plan on supplementing income it may be really difficult to get a job. Like for me I haven’t been able to work consistently the hwole time i’ve been here which has left me pretty dependent on my parents and i’m really lucky that I have that, but my parents are paying for a place for me to live and food to eat I don’t have a lot of opportunity to do fun things. It’s not the end of the world and i’m far from complaining about it, but if that’s important to you consider that. 

I just keep thinking of things omfg but make sure you understand the health plan you get through your school because in a country with universal healthcare that’s like, all you get. Like for me I’ve been experiencing chronic pain from a job I had last year but I haven’t been able to figure out if it’s caused by physical issues or sensory processing issues linked to my ADHD and getting treatment has been borderline impossible. I go to planned parenthood right now which is great, I love it there and i’ve been able to get HRT through them for just the price of the testosterone. So make sure you know what health care providers are in your area and who will accept you and what the healthcare you do receive from the university will give you.

like I don’t know i this was even what you were asking for but I know when i was applying to schools it was all about the application and the grades and the SAT scores and this was the stuff no one talked to me about but I wish they did??? so yeah. hopefully this is helpful.

[musingsofahistorymajor]

My Museum Tales part 1

(Part 2)

People get angry when you don’t know everything about everything in the museum. “What year did this random event that has nothing to do with the exhibit happen? Why don’t you know? You should know!”

Guest: “What mileage does this car get?” Points at a car made in 1902.  Me: “I have no idea but probably not a lot?” How the fuck should I know?

Guest: “What are the odds of you letting me sit in that DeLorean?” Me: “0 to -100.” Guest: “Why not?”  Me: “Cause you could damage it. Only the curators and specialists are allowed to touch the artifacts. That car is an artifact.” Guest: *Surprised* “Oh.”

Guest asks me what sort of food the dining room sells. I am confused. We have no dining room in the museum. Guest points at the the map. He’s pointing at the dining room of the 1900s Mansion (the museum I work at has two mansions on the property). I have to tell him that that room isn’t a place to eat. It was the dining room for the family that used to live in the Mansion. He is still confused. Nothing I say helps.

Coming back from break to hear my relief hang up the help phone (which is connected to the parking) lot say, “The system isn’t broken, your brain is broken” in such a defeated voice.

Executive staff: “Can you put our events on other organization’s online calendars when you have a free moment?”  No? Cause that’s not how the internet works. Its not possible unless they have a public calendar.

The most common question we get: “Where are the dinosaurs?” Across the street at the NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM! It’s the building with all the dinosaur topiaries, the stegosaurus statue out front, and the dinosaurs painted all over the parking garage.

Came across a woman changing her babies diaper on the floor of the kids play room. A) GROSS! B)There’s a restroom with a changing table around the corner.

Me: “I’m sorry sir you can park there. It’s a fire lane.” Guest: “I’m not parked.” Me: *looks at the guest who is no longer in their car and already in the building.The car has been there for at least 15 mins.*  Me: Are you going straight back to your car then? Guest: No I’m here to visit the museum Me: *looks at the camera like I’m on the office* At what point does a car become “parked”

The time a catered event tried to have Cherries Jubilee, a dessert which requires it to be SET ON FIRE. The cooks didn’t understand why they couldn’t make it after we explained that it’s dangerous for the artifacts and it would set the fire alarms off. They light it up anyway. Fire alarm went off. Building had to be evacuated.

Radio Conversation: Me: Are we selling tickets at the door for tonight’s event and what methods of payment are accepted?  Employee 2: Yes and cash. Credit card. Check. Employee 3: Wampum Employee 2: Barter and trade 

That time my boss called and said she was looking for someone creative to help her come up with an idea for centerpieces for big annual fundraising event that night because it completely slipped her mind. The event was that night! She asked if I could come up with something cheap and quick to make but also looks nice. Using random art supplies and things we have lying around  the storage rooms, I came up with some flower vase with photos around it type of thing (looked better than this sounds). Took all day but I made seven centerpieces out of nothing .

Guest: “Why are you only open on Wednesday?” Me: “We’re not?”

Guest: “Aren’t you always free on Saturdays?” Me: “No?”

Guest: “How far of a drive is it to the Mansion” They were standing in the Mansion….

Guest: “What’s the Hay House?” Me: “……It’s a house? Belonging to the Hay family? That you can tour?”

Guest comes in and reads the sign with our admission prices listed. Guest: “So these are the suggested prices?” Me: “No ma’am. The are THE prices. They’re not suggestions” Guest: “No these are the suggested prices.” Me: “….No. These are the prices. If you’d like to see the museum you have to pay the appropriate admission price.” Guest: “So these are the suggested prices then.” Me: “NO. You HAVE to pay the admission we have listed here or you can’t come in. They are not suggestions.” She left.

Local police called us to say that people are walking through some dog poop and were spreading it all over the sidewalk by our museum. She wanted us to go powerwash the sidewalk. The sidewalk is city property not the museums. Its’ technically not our job to do that. She got furious when we said we couldn’t do it and they actually came over and yelled. Our boss had to tell her no. Eventually the head of security went out to look and said there was no poop anywhere so he didn’t know what their problem was anyway.

People ask to see objects or exhibits we haven’t had in 40 years or that we have never had period and get angry when I tell them they’re either aren’t here or are no longer on display. The most common ones are: “Where’s the Fabergé egg?” (never had one in the museum ever) “Where’s the mummy?”  (we are not a natural history museum nor do we have anything to do with egypt) “Where are the dollhouses?”   (the dollhouses were on exhibit 35 years ago) “Where are the dinosaurs?”   (again. not a natural history museum)

Guy complained because when he went to our living history site (an old farm) and his newly washed car got dirty, the walk was “dangerous” because it was not paved, there were a lot of people and no exhibits. ……..It’s a farm. Of course it’s dirty and you walked on grass. And there were tons of people because you attended one of the biggest events of the year there. And the exhibits are the buildings and trades you see. What did you expect?

Guest: “The carousel isn’t moving, is it open?” Me: “Yes it’s open.” It’s not moving because no one is there to ride it right now. It’s not always moving. Be kind of hard for new riders to get on.

The employees had a training session for customer service and one of the sections was on service animals. Once the speaker told us a miniature pony could be a service animal we all latched onto it and could stop talking about how much we’d love to have a pony in the building. This went on for days after the training session ended.

Guest comes up to me and tells me that a couple of the women’s stalls are “quite nasty”. I go and tell my boss and the head of maintenance. HofM comes out of the restroom and says, “Why did you make me do that?! Who does that to a toilet!” Turns out someone ahem…missed. I refused to “investigate” for myself. Later he walked by my desk again, said “apparently someone doesn’t know how to use the bathroom correctly”, shuddered and left. 

Guest once spent 10 minutes telling me about his toothache

The joke every elderly man tells when they buy admission: “I’d like one child ticket please!”  [insert fake laugh here]

Guest: “I’d like to renew my membership.”  Me: “Awesome! Just fill out this form and what level are you renewing?”  Guest: “Idk can you look it up?”  Me: “Well it depends on how long ago you had your membership”  Guest: “Let me look on my old card”  The membership cards tell you what the level is. 

The many children who run under the barriers, climb into the antique cars, and move the steering wheel like it’s a toy as the parents watch and take photos. 

The grown adults who reach over the barriers and touch the tires or honk the horns. HONK THE HORNS! The whole museum can literally hear you doing that. It’s a car horn!!!

One of the brides who rented the Mansion garden for her wedding wanted to bring a live horse into the museum so she could ride it out after the ceremony. 

Questions asked by drunk people on the carousel: “Which horse is fastest?”, “Can you make it go backwards?”, *reaches out into my booth* “Let me use the microphone”, “Can you make it go faster?”

I once had to kick a guest out of the carousel pavillion during a party because she was so drunk she couldn’t walk a straight line, lost her shoes, and was spitting on the floor. Guess who had to clean up her saliva…

Each admission has a brick hidden somewhere under it. We call it a “Security Brick”

Birds get inside the museum all the time. We now have a club for anyone who manages to catch one. I’ve caught one myself. It’s always fun watching newbies freak out when another one comes in. I want to get shirts made.

One client who rented the museum was so offended by the “naked” cherubs on the carousel that we had to figure out a way to cover up their “boobs”. We draped rainbow scarves over them.

Here’s to all the wonderful guests who have given me some interesting conversations, hugs, thank you’s, patience, and the opportunities to leave my admission desk and give them short tours full of enthusiasm. I treasure those moments

[the99thchapter]

34

the following are entries from my lunadiary.

2018.12.24 p.m. 01:54  - the last week of 2018 x - let the past be bygone they say, little did you know, the sufferings and obstacles i had faced, To be where i am today never forget your struggles because they're a reminder for every hardship 

2018.12.27 p.m. 08:34 the luxury of happiness x - to feel happy is a luxury because not everyday is filled with joy So If i get to feel happy for every one second I'll be grateful i don't want to feel nothing Forever

2019.01.17 p.m. 05:06 Tbh - Hypothetically speaking, i don't know if I'm passing my stats and cma paper. I didn't revise in depth and I'm just guessing answers. Reminder to myself that if i failed, it was because i wasn't being hardworking enough. I was being complacent. I deserved this. 

2019.04.01 p.m. 11:15 what happens next?  - howto: cope with a broken friendship are there any cures for it? Guidebooks, therapy or prayers?I lost a friend because of my actions. Came to realization that I'm always hurting others. I know how it feels like, and I'm doing it to the people i love. I am the worst.

2019.04.11 p.m. 05:38 My parents.  - My mom thinks I'm here to ruin her life. Look, I'm not trying to make anyone cry or get hurt. But it always come back to the fact that i cause great pain to the people around me indirectly. I made my family cry. I made a friend cry. I make myself cry. It's like i am this terrible person who's causing so much pain to others. I don't get better. I get worse. 

I know my mom has been looking at me like I'm a monster for a while now. Years. She doesn't say it but i can tell. I'm no longer treated like a child, i get scolded like a stranger and I'm not worth of importance anymore. I think this is the universe way of telling me that I'm on my own and i should just deal with it. My dad wants to get closer to me but i push him away repeatedly. I'm a mean person but getting closer means opening up walls and i don't intend to do that. After having broke a parent, this parent should stay away from me. I hurt people so he shouldn't have to deal with me. He's a great dad but he's unlucky to have me. 

My parents are great people and they've been through a lot. My existence is nothing but a nuisance since the beginning. Please, universe. Do them a favour and do myself a favour. Get rid of me. Help them. Save them. That's all I'm asking. 

2019.04.23 p.m. 10:59 Plus one - all i ask for is a man who has a good heart. Someone who is polite in words and actions. not necessarily pious but does his five daily prayers without fail. Able to guide me on the correct path and be my jodoh in jannah. protect me from the evil and love me for who i am. Respects my family as a whole and accepts us for who we are. 

2019.05.09 p.m. 02:03 day 4  - Ya Rabb, i ask that you strengthen my iman. Encourage my heart to perform the five daily salahs and to dzhikir a lot. In this holy month i want nothing but truly your blessings. Taufiq hidayah. Rahmatilah kami semua, terimalah segala ibadah and amalan kami. I'm striving to become a better muslim in the eyes of no one else but Allah SWT. The most gracious, the most merciful.

  2019.07.08 a.m. 09:38 What is wrong with me?  - These words are haunting me at night. Every time i close my eyes, i hear it. "Why are you like that?" "You're not good enough" "The world doesn't need you" "Stop being useless to us." "You're a bad person." Hey, Reality check, i am indeed what these statements truly meant. I know for a fact that no one actually likes me. I radiate bad vibes negativity. People pretend to like me. My personality's kinda fake. Is this why no one wants to stick by me? Is that why the friends that i have now are only pitying me? What do i lack? How can i be a better version of myself? What is wrong with me? 

2019.08.01 a.m. 11:31 the first of august - D-23 to my birthday! To an age that society defines as a brand new decade! My 20's will be the coolest. I can't wait to get my first full time job, to graduate with my diploma, to hop on an airplane, to travel to cities, discover the world, meet people, find love and connection, try new adventures and to simply help the needy.  

2019.08.26 p.m. 02:18 - today i had my last exam for 2.1. the end of a semester. right now I'm sitting i’m the mrt. On my way to bugis. To buy film. But all i can think about is Will today be the day? What if right now is the moment? 

No current commitments. No plans. Just myself. I'm thinking about how in the midst of being surrounded by work to do, i have no time for myself. To recharge, to check in and ask if I'm truly okay..Because I'm not. I really am pushing or suppressing emotions. I'm not allowing myself to let go. No anxiety attacks lately. Am i getting better? Or is this just my mind playing tricks?

2019.10.01 p.m. 10:57 cbtl  - I have work at 8 am which I've decided not to turn up for because i think it doesn't matter if I'm there or not..i love the nature of this new job and the learning outcomes from it but it's been 3 weeks and it's tough. i get that it requires the ability to be quick and precise but i just cant you know? With this particular mgr breathing down my neck every single time, i feel so tensed?? i know the reality is that not every job will be easy but i don't think this barista thingy will work out for me :(  and I'm not deciding to ditch work just bc i can't handle things, but I'm tired from getting belittled for minor tiny ass mistakes i do. Why do people find the need to raise their voice and speak in a degrading manner while pointing out my mistakes which are so frickin small in front of others? To train me to be vigilant next time? Is it working? Yes. But did it hurt my self esteem? Totally. You saw my igstory lately... the one about smacking my face? It still upsets me :( I wasn't rude or anything i was honestly in a confused position. Because i genuinely did not know the exact ingredients to make iced latte (i wasn't taught yet) and the same mgr thinks i do even after telling her i dont!! I asked her if it's made from iced water base but she kept emphasising the word 'ICED LATTE' indicting that i was dumb and she got fed up and said it's milk based + I'll smack your face..rude. She could have told me. The thing about me is that i remember lists really well so if she'd told me at the beginning we could have avoided this moment that ruined my day and hurt my feelings. I know it was my fault for not practicing much last week so that's why when i was asked to make hot espresso drinks it caught me off guard. I told the same mgr that i did not have much opportunity to do so bc the other workers mostly made the drinks and she still belittled me. Also i had to make this drink called Hot Vanilla which is similar to Hot Chocolate and i remember DISTINCTIVELY that one of my colleagues taught me to use cold milk as base so i did the same thing and one of the other colleagues saw and again... in a loud degrading manner pointed out my mistake and proceeded to say things like "YOU ASK AND ASK SO MANY THINGS THEN DON'T BOTHER REMEMBERING SO U ASK FOR WHAT" in a really mean tone... that was uncalled for. i had to choke up my emotions and reply an apology in a joking manner like i always do bc idw to cry.

2019.12.18 p.m. 09:39 the decade in recap - 2009-2019 i was 10 years old then but I'm 20 years old today. I really grew up uh? I went through so many things. I did them. I became who i am today. 

2020.01.21 a.m. 08:45 three weeks into the new year and I'm already over it - year, please be nice to me. I've cried way too much. I don't want to be sad all the time. I want to feel like myself again. It's been years...that for some reason happiness and a good life can't work hand in hand for me. 

2020.01.23 p.m. 08:57 work hard and work smart?  - I studied only two days prior. But in those last two days i put in a lot effort. I sacrificed sleep, my health, hygiene and everything into utilizing every second to absorb as much studying as i can. I convinced myself that i can do it. I can make things work. But did it? I took my tax paper and did mistakes...obvious unforgivable mistakes that i actually practiced so hard on but still did it. I took my finance paper and my mind decided to omit the one information that i needed to answer that question even though I've memorized it repeatedly in my mind beforehand. It's really times like this where i truly am disappointed with myself. I could have done better had i put in more effort. I could have aced it if i did my preparation early. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like I'm not as good as my peers. This whole week was so tiring for me. I was alone and realized that i am ALONE alone. My friends? They don't even care about me unless i took initiative to approach them. It's been suffocating lately, trying to take in all the crap that I've been getting. I'm so tired of crying. I don't even want to feel happy anymore. What's the point....

2020.02.19 p.m. 01:06 1 down, 4 more to go - auditing.... you're not my cup of tea. I'll admit it. in the beginning i didn't understand what was going on. but after literally crash coursing on the whole module this past week, i can say i still don't get it. But nevertheless i think i did ok for the paper. Idk. I thought I'd failed my mst only to be surprised by the score. So maybe the universe will work the same way this time. Or not. 

So today i will be going on a full-blown revision marathon for my three papers next week. I'm pinning my hopes on getting at least B+/A for FOT and FOI. IF? we'll strive to get one level about the bare minimum. 

I hope this semester sees an improvement in gpa or maintenance of my current one. Would really break my heart to see it plunge down. To future me, we'll be okay. If we're not, don't beat yourself to it. While the whole "grades don't define you" advice does give a sense of relief, it means shit. Grades matter... At least for university. 

Remember that one day we'll get a degree. Failure isn't forever. 

2020.05.30 a.m. 04:37 Why i don't ask about my jodoh in prayers  - while i do romanticize love based on fiction and the amount of love series i watch, i don't necessarily crave for it. I used to, but i don't. One reason could be that i am not surrounded by many malay guys and two, i am not in a position to be able to experience it. It's both. I don't try and I'll not try. 

[purplesurveys]

1181

survey by painted-skylines

Best movie soundtrack ever: I’ve always vouched for The Twilight Saga’s soundtracks because their OSTs genuinely did pop the fuck off; but out of the five movies, my favorite would probably be New Moon’s.

What was your favorite Disney movie as a kid? It’s always been Toy Story, and it’s never changed even after watching my fair share of Disney movies through the years.

Have you seen it since? Many times. I try to do at least one rewatch every year.

If I looked through your phone right now, what would I find? A ridiculous amount of photos of V on my camera roll, my different work chats, and conversations between myself and Angela that would probably be tagged as NSFW because we’re comfortable around each other like that, lol.

Do you brush your teeth in the bathroom, or do you get bored & roam around? I just stay by the sink.

Reggae or Ska? Ska, if anything. I used to listen to ska punk.

What time did you wake up today? Like 6:15. I’ve started automatically waking up at 6 AM a week ago for no reason, regardless of how late I sleep the night before. Which is fine, I guess, since I’ve developed a knack of starting work by around 8 anyway; the 2-hour gap is the perfect time to have time for myself before another shift.

Why's the summer going by so fast? It’s not summer yet, but I will agree that time seems to be flying by in general. I’m well aware it’s because I do nothing but work all week, but I actually find the monotony quite relaxing for now so I’m not complaining.

What'll you be doing this 4th of July? That issssss a Sunday, so idk. Probably relaxing at home – or if quarantine protocols have loosened by then I will probably back in a coffee shop.

Are you allowed to wear shorts or tanktops at your school? We're not. In my university, yeah. I always wore tank tops then.

When's the last time you brushed your teeth? Around a half hour ago right after I showered.

Are you a picky-eater? Not at all. I will only be picky around fruits or viands I already dislike, like adobo or sinigang.

How many songs are there in your iTunes? I don’t have an iTunes anymore, and Spotify doesn’t work that way.

How many bands? -

Are you a candle-fanatic? I’m getting there, but I’ve had to park that interest in favor of my new BTS addiction HAHAHAHAHA. My online shopping cart went from Bath & Body Works candles to BTS albums stupidly fast.

How do you feel about incense? Not a fan.

I didn't spell that right, did I? You didn’t, but I corrected it because it was bothering me lol. Now anyone else who might take this survey will never know.

Do you know anyone that kind of looks like an animal? Aren’t we all animals though?

Are you ruthless? That wouldn’t be a word I’d use on myself.

What's your couch look like at home? It’s L-shaped and grey, and quite comfy.

When's the last time you were at a playground? 7 months ago when I went to an abandoned playground during one of my depressive episodes – it was to get some air out of the house after a million job rejections and a crumbling relationship. I don’t think I’ll be going to that playground any time soon.

Does your city/town have a little festival/carnival every year? We probably do but I just can’t care less for it.

Do you attend? Nope.

Have you ever been to an apple-orchard? I don’t know what that is.

Were there any cartoons your parents didn't let you watch as a kid? My mom was heavily critical of Mr. Bean (both versions) which I guess is kinda understandable, but we always watched it whenever she wasn’t home.

Do you need to clean your room? I think I need to go beyond cleaning and rearrange it altogether. It’s starting to look dreary to me, and I’ve been meaning to spruce it up with some floating shelves and a bigger work desk.

What's your favorite color? Pastel pink.

No one ever really changes. They just get better at hiding their flaws. True or false? No? People can change.

Have you ever been to New York City? No.

Do you still have a bicycle? Do you ever still ride it? We have a family-owned bicycle. I don’t know how to ride bikes though, so really only my parents use it.

Have you ever carved your name, or anything into a tree or a bench? I don’t think so. The few times I vandalized, the last thing I did was make it obvious I was the culprit.

What's your favorite ice-cream flavour? Cookies and cream, coffee, or chocolate chip cookie dough.

Have you ever had pecan divinity? Literally have never heard of that before.

Cotton candy or nachos? Nachos.

Is your MySpace page private? I don’t have one.

Do you drink milk? I drink it if I encounter milk, which happens rarely.

Would you rather see Death At A Funeral or Get Him To The Greek? Idk, neither sound interesting and I don’t even know what these are.

Have you ever had to clean a college kid's dorm room? Nah. I’ve never been inside a dorm room, actually. The most I’ve reached is the lobby of Laurice and Jo’s dorm building whenever I’d pick them up, since that’s the only place visitors were let in.

What's your favorite kind of candy-bar? Eh, I prefer a certain brand of peanut butter cups.

When's the last time you hugged a family member? Fuck if I know. Can Cooper be counted as family? I literally just took a break from this survey to cuddle him for a bit.

Or are you more of a ''don't touch me'' kind of person? It’s not that I’m not physically affectionate; I’m just not particularly so with my family.

Could you handle motherhood? At this point, no. I want other things first.

Well what about if your child's EXACTLY like you, could you handle that? They’d be a pain in the ass during their puberty years, but I think I would be able to handle the rest of me.

Have you ever been wakeboarding? Not yet. Angela and I have been planning it this year but there hasn’t been any opportunity yet.

What's the sky look like? It’s black and a little cloudy. No stars tonight.

Are you multi-tasking right now? Kinda, considering my focus levels hahaha. I’m trying to take this survey but I’m also listening to music, and so far I’ve stopped typing to dance in my seat 45793847375359 times.

How many pairs of flipflops do you own? None of my own, but we have a couple ones by the front door for anyone’s use, just in case anyone needs to go out to briefly take out the trash or whatever.

Are you any good at basketball? Not at all. I don’t even know the mechanices beyond making the ball go inside the hoop.

Are you any good at sports in general? I can play table tennis. I suppose I’m just a notch below playing competitively; I can do a decent rally and I’m usually able to smash properly when I feel like it.

Would you rather have a bulldog puppy or a husky puppy? Any kind of puppy is fine with me.

Do you have any stuffed animals? If you do, what are they? No.

Is any of this Go Green stuff really gonna make a significant difference? Of course.

Are you good at making up excuses or lies on the spot? If the need be, yes. But I try to avoid lying as much as possible.

Is Mr. Hudson attractive? Idk who you’re referring to.

The last time you snuck out, what were you going to do? I told my mom I’ll just be withdrawing from the bank when I was really meeting up with Angela so she could return my mom’s absolute favorite abaca mat that I secretly lent her for her grad shoot.

Were you into the whole Harry Potter thing when it was popular? Not really. I read the books after all the movies had already come out, but I didn’t finish the whole set.

Do you think Rupert Grint's cute? Not personally.

Have you ever rode a horse? Yeah.

What's something cute to wear with leggings? For me, I’d pair it with an oversized shirt.

Tye-dye or floral? Floral. I never was a fan of tie-dye.

What's the weirdest thing you've ever ate? A couple of weeks ago my mom said she was gonna make cordon bleu, but the final result was anything but hahaha. I still have no idea what it is she made, but at least it was edible.

What's your desktop wallpaper? It’s just a photo of some mountains that already comes as one of the provided backgrounds on my laptop.

What's your wallpaper on your cell? Lock screen is of Kim Taehyung, home screen is a BTS group photo.

17th contact; Jeuel, a guy I went to college with.

Do you know anyone in the military? I don’t think so.

Are you ashamed to admit that you like Ke$ha? ...Is there a reason I should be?

Is there anything you wanna say to someone right now? Not really.

Pancakes, or waffles? (: Waffles.