#idk to me it comes off so egotistical to be like wow they hate MY FOOD so they probably hate ME. like dude i just dont like steak

[stinkrascal]

reddit posts detailing their christmas/thanksgiving food drama will never not be bizarre to me. you’ll read a post where op says they demanded that no one brings food to their events and how everyone has to eat the food that op has prepared, and then they’ll go on this multi-paragraph rant about how their 5 year old nephew won’t eat any food at their event because nephew only eats chicken nuggets and op thinks he needs to grow up and learn that life isn’t always going to cater to his needs and whatever. and it’s like op it’s literally just chicken nuggets just let the guy eat chicken nuggets. if you already knew he was picky literally what did you expect by making food he wont eat like literally what other reasonable outcome could there have been. you don’t even have to make the chicken nuggets yourself, just let your guests bring food for their picky children so everyone is happy and you don’t have to put more work on yourself since youre already cooking a lot of food anyways. maybe i can understand it if youre upset they wont eat the food youve prepared, i still think its dramatic but i get it, but not even allowing guests to bring their own food to your events just makes me question why you never considered this as an inevitability, like are you just that inattentive to your family’s needs or something??

for thanksgiving this year my boyfriend’s sister and her fiance hosted it at their house and they made all these elaborate dishes, but my bil (bf’s sister’s fiance) knew that i dont like steak which is one of the meals they made, but he also knew i love chicken, so he went out of his way to make chicken just for me so i could eat something too and not feel left out. and it’s just like so easy to cater to ppl’s needs like that imo?? and if you really dont want to go out of your way to make more food than you already are, just let ppl bring their own dishes to your dumbass event?? i literally will never understand people who get so butthurt about stuff like this, the way theyre like you HAVE to eat MY COOKING otherwise you CANT EAT ANYTHING AT ALL!!! like okay i just wont go to your dumb event then if it’s that much of an issue. im not even a festive person but the whole point of these holidays r to spend time with your family you know, not flex the knowledge you learned by reading some grandma’s cookbook. thats just an added side benefit. just let ppl be picky without taking it as such a fucking offense ugh

[bi-bobbysoxxers]

Heyy y'all! I was tagged by @meiyanaalexia Thanks for the tag, fam!

Rules: List ten of your fave female characters from your ten fave fandoms and then tag 10 other ppl!

This list is by no means comprehensive or a ranked list, as i think all my fave characters are equally bad betches, in their own right xD alright let's get to it!

-Tamari and Lady Tsunade (Naruto/Naruto Shippuden)

Tamari's one of the more cool, levelheaded female side characters in naruto and idk, she's very much Gaara and Kankuro's rock, and idk, i like that. I view her as a very strong female character, and i think she carries a lot of badass masculine energy. Plus she's a badass fighter as well. (((And she's hot but that's beside the point lol))) I like Lady Tsunade a lot, but i admit, i wasnt a fan of her at first. But now that I'm seeing her character unfold in Shippuden, I like her a lot. I like the concept that she's kiind of a grouchy, reluctant leader of the leaf village, cause that makes her seem like a very reliable leader, in a way. I think she's hella underrated as a strong character, tbh. Plus i like that she's a healing ninja, cause it seems so opposite to her outward personality. The more i watch naruto the more i'm really liking more of their female characters, tbh.

Quotes!

Tamari: "Sharpen your karma at sunset."

Tsunade: "People become stronger because they have things they cannot forget. That's what you call growth."

-Lucy and Kiyoko (Bungou Stray Dogs)

oh wow, uh, not gonna lie, i really like this anime more for most of the male characters, but Lucy and Kiyoko have alswas been in my faves list. I didnt really understand Lucy's character in season one but as the plot thickens, so does her issues with wanting to morally become a better person, but still being fairly new to learning to become selfless. I think a lot of people can relate to her because she can be fairly emotionally erratic, and she struggles with the whole "forgiveness thing." But later on you see that all she really wanted was a true family and friends that value her. And i think that's something we all want, deep down. Also, her powers are highly unnderrated and badass and i love how she is slowly becoming a protector for ppl like Atsushi, which really shows her growth as a character.

I also put Kiyoko on this list because i think she is equally as good of a female character as Lucy is, but for dif reasons. I loveeee the whole concept of "initially bad" characters soon wanting to become good. There's a simplicity in her character that i think models Atsushi's in a way, i mean they're both damaged, but both yearn to do good and make a comeback with the chances they've been given in life. If Lucy was a Tarot Card she would be the Fool. I also love how steadfast she is in her newfound family and how much she believes in everyone in the ADA now. It's very wholesome and pure :3 also i love her and Atsushi's relationship, it kinda reminds me of me and my BFF's ride or die relationship, lol.

Lucy: "Make sure you survive...Then come back for me. I'll be waiting."

Kiyoko: "I saw a bright world. I cannot go back to a time when I didn't know such a thing existed."

-Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)

Ugh, there's so many things about this character that I have always loved and adored. Her character design, her quiet whimsical weirdness. Her determined loyalty to the people that accept her. Her lovely simple wisdom, at times. Like Harry said, Luna is just "...coooll." She kinda reminds me of me when I was a teenager but way cooler lol.

Luna: "My mum always said things we lose have a way of coming back to us, in the end."

-Lara Croft (Tomb Raider movies and videogames)

Laura is....a simple character by design. If anything, the plotlines and video game design of the Tomb Raider franchise are way more intricate. And yeah...there's her misogynistic character design (Note: the impossibly snatched waist and bOoBiEs in earlier games.)

BUT. I still stan her for a multitude of reasons. Growing up, there were may more princess characters than female warrior characters and ya know, I'm really glad I was exposed to Lara Croft movies and the Tomb Raider: Legend video games as a kid. I think Laura taught me that you can definitely embrace your feminine side and still be a badass and follow your dreams. Even now, after me finally figuring out i'm not cis, i know, that she's still an icon for most kids out there. And for me too. She was a symbol of bravery, intelligence, as well as still being a character of emotional depth, grieving the loss of her parents while vowing to continue to do what she loved, which is exploring. Cultural and moral problems with her character aside, i still find both her and her stories very inspirational, both as a bigender queer person, and as a designer.

Laura Quotes: "The line between our myths and truth is fragile and blurry."

"The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are."

-Scorpia (She-Ra)

Oh wow, i could go on for days about how much i love thus character. If you're queer or fun in any capacity you've probably watched the final season fo She-Ra by now and spoilers aside, i just love the journey this character went on from start to finish. Scorpia is so genuine and nice, and sometimes that puts her in situations where she has to make hard decisions. And idk, those decisions just made that character so much better for me. On a lighter note, Scorpia is great queer rep, especially for butch lesbians, lesbians, trans ppl, androg ppl, and gender nonconforming ppl. She's always said things that have resonated with me as a queer person and aside from that, she's a very excitable and fun character. She just excudes so much curiosity and joy that you really can't help but like her, lol.

Scorpia: "I am brave, strong, loyal, and i give great hugs!"

-Sypha (Castlevania)

Altho I personally don't view Sypha as a cis woman, (I see her as nonbinary or agender), I think the way characters treat her in the show is indicative that in that period, they view her as a woman. So i figured I could put her on this list as well lol. Anyways, uhhh wow, Sypha is great, there's so much I love about her that it's hard to put into words. I love that she regards herself as a "scholar" of magic, but still views herself as a heretic, I just find it pretty funny and very sexy of her lol. Aside from that, I think Sypha is a great character who always seeks out logic where there usually ends up being none. I love her cheeky remarks to both Alucard and Trevor, and I love her can-do attitude. At the end of the day, she's one of those characters you love just for her great energy she carries for herself within the show. There's really no rhyme or reason to her, she just, is. She subverts many female mage character tropes as well, being a natural badass. Also her god jokes are so damn funny.

Sypha: "See?? God hates me!?

-Aunt Sarah (Derry Girls)

Okay first of all, if you havent seen Derry girls, pleaseeee watch it, holy shit it's the funniest show i've seen in a longass time. Second of all, my friend and I are still going thru the show, but Ajnt Sarah has started to become one of my favorite characters. She's one of those very aloof characters that you kinda ignore at first but then her character just has these amazing one liners and she really grows on you. Also she is very caring about her family and she's cute as hell???? I'm sorry but like her aesthetic is just on fuckin point, like??? Go off babe?? Anyways yeah she's cute.

No quotes for her since that might ruin some of the better punchlines if you end up watching the show lol.

-Marga (Cable Girls)

Yeah, if you want a really good 1920's drama that focuses on women, go give Cable Girls a try! It is very poetic in its direction lol. Anyways, Marga is one of the "new girls" at the beginning of the show and she is just, so earnest, and genuine, and pure. And I love her. She's very nice to the other girls working and she's got some great one liners. She's that timid, cute character that slowy comes out of her shell throughout the show lol.

-Kiki and Sheeta (Studio Ghibli)

I loveee Studio Ghibli films, and one of my two fave films of Miyazaki are Kiki's Delivery Service and my ultimate fave, Castle in the Sky. I adore Kiki as a character because she is your quintessential cute witch, and her journey with finding and grasping her full powers are very relevant to me, and my journey with upholding my creativity as a designer. As well as being a great movie with a great lessom for all artists, Kiki is a very passionate and genuine character, who's resilency has inspired me in hard times. I love her relationship that she has with other ppl as nd creatures, especially with her cat Gigi. She's cute, i love her lots.

Sheeta, I love for different reasons. Sheeta is one of those rare instances where a quiet protagonist, really works. I love her calm and humble, yet powerful energy surrounding her. I love her background, and how there has always beem magic inside of her, even if she's not a practicing witch. She is so very humble and a very introspective character. There's not a lot of female protagonists quite like her. Plus she's adorable as well, lol.

-Aunt Hilda, Zelda, Prudence, and Lilith (CHAOS)

I'm not gonna get into super specifics since i love all these characters equally, but I will say that all these characters absolutely MADE this series for me. I personally found Sabrina's character very annoying and slightly egotistical (i mean she's allowed to be i suppose,lol) but these characters were just so much fun!

I love Aunt Hilda for her soft personality and great revenge comebacks. I love Prudence for her aesthetic, character design, and amazing characrer development throughout the series. I love Lilith, for being both a BAMF and. MILF, lolz. And finally, i absolutely adore Zelda's character, for being so poised, calculating, blunt, and yet so very badass and loveable xD I love everything about her character, tbh.

There's so many good quotes from each character, so just watch the show, lol.

Andddd i think that's it! Sorry this was super long, I wanted to state my reasoms for why these characters were on the list, lol. Hope you liked some of my character analysis, feel free to screech with me about shows anytime lol. I'd love more good show recs!

You def don't have to go as hard as I did on this but I tag:

@heathen-beast @iquotetheravennevermore @sweet-communist @gardiewithyou @sawayakakuns @shortlady72 @thatonegirluniverse @thatlowkeyhipster @letting-and-living @beauxxxtifullies @catastrafey

Anyone else can participate if they feel like it! Have fun lol. Let's love our great women characters lol.

[kaffeinic]

60 Question Tag Challenge!

I was challenged by @woo-for-woojin to answer all of these. To be fair, I challenged her first, but let’s not get into the details. Original post of questions by @roseyygf.

1: Selfie.

GAAAAAAAH I HATE THIS ALREADY SMH IM SO UGLY.

Lmao look at my fingers. What the hell is going on there?

2: What would you name your future kids?

I feel like that’s a joint decision, so I can’t say. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll want to have my own kids through childbirth. My family has a genetic disposition to difficulties during pregnancy. I might adopt.

3: Do you miss anyone?

A few people. Some of them I haven’t even met in person. I miss my BFF from school. I miss a few people online that I’ve fallen out of touch with. I’m always missing people. 😂

4: What are you looking forward to?

College, and moving out of my house. I’ve been itching to do both of these for years now.

5: Is there anyone who can always make you smile?

@hoshithehamster, @woo-for-woojin, @a-toxic-galaxy, my BFF from school, and my older sister. Also, I swear, @hoshithehamster and I are literally are always TALKING IN CAPS LOCK BECAUSE WE ARE IDIOTS AND WE HAVE THE WEIRDEST, MOST FUN CONVERSATIONS EVER.

6: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Once I’ve gone all-in, yeah. When it’s a crush, not usually. I’m really slow to develop a crush on someone. Painfully slow lol. I’m cautious because I’ve been hurt by people in that regard a few times. One incident had me suicidal for a long time.

7: What was your life like last year?

Kind of the same? I didn’t have this blog open. If you had asked this regarding two years ago, I would have said that I wasn’t homeschooling, didn’t know how to play piano much, didn’t have this blog, and was very depressed because of my old schoolmates.

8: Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

YES! Whenever I feel stuck and know I have no control of a situation, I get frustrated and find a quiet place to cry.

9: Who did you last see in person?

I’m assuming this means out of my own household. The last person I saw was my older sister and her roommates, who I am really good friends with. One of them loves coffee as much as me and it’s great! I spent the night. That was over a month and a half ago lmao. Before that, I had gone on a date at a coffee shop.

10: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yeah. My family gets angry at me if I’m sad or angry about anything, so I hold it all in. It definitely has made life a bit harder. I make people angry when I won’t disclose my feelings to them. I just find it to be better to hold it. I have to be really comfortable with you and really love you if I’ll tell you that I’m sad/angry and why.

11: Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah. It’s Le Pire by Maître Gims. He’s a really great French singer.

12: What is something you want right now?

If this is concerning food, I’m in the mood for chicken right now lol. I need some protein. Aside from food, I’m wanting to get a pedal for my electric piano. I have no sustain and it ruins a lot of songs. 😂 It’s why I have my ko-fi open.

13: How do you feel right now?

Meh. I’m not feeling great. I have some issues with fainting. My blood pressure drops like a rock at times and I feel it coming on, if you know what I’m saying. It’s this kind of lethargic, sick feeling. I’m trying to drink a lot of water, just in case it’s about dehydration.

14: When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

When I last visited my favourite coffee shop. For those of you who read Caffeinic, Chan’s character design is a mix of his true personality and a barista at my café of choice. He always gives me a hug when I see him, and when I say good bye. 😊

15: Personality description?

For a quick description, I’d say that INFJ, which is my MBTI type, is really accurate for me. I’ll let one of my friends try to describe me. I’m bad at describing myself lol.

Okay, but my heart is combusting. This amazing hooman, I lob her so much!!!! One of my best friends for sure.

16: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

All the time. I’m sure you all have heard Fight Song by Rachel Platten, but that line where she says, “And all those things I didn't say // Wrecking balls inside my brain // I will scream them loud tonight // Can you hear my voice this time?” really resonates with me. It was that lyric that hooked me on this song.

17: Opinion on insecurities?

I think 90% of us have them. They are humbling, which can be good, but I urge you to know your worth. I’m such a hypocrite.

18: Do you miss how things were a year ago?

Not really. Not much has changed.

19: Have you ever been to New York?

No, but I’d love to visit! I’m from the west coast lol.

20: What is your favourite song at the moment?

Ramai by Delia & The Motans. I listen to a lot of different languages in music lol. I have no idea what any of it means, so if it’s inappropriate, I apologize.

21: Age and birthday.

Internationally, 18. May 3, 2001.

22: Description of crush.

I don’t think I have a crush???? Haha. There’s this really kind, pretty hot barista at the café who seems to like me but I’m avoiding relationships, so idk. He has green eyes and black, curly hair. He’s maybe 170-180cm, but I’m not entirely sure. He looks damn good in a button up, I... wow. 🥵

23: Fear(s)?

So many lmao. I’m afraid of some trivial things, like bugs and rollercoasters, but I’m also afraid of some different items, like never having a family of my own, or of not being able to achieve my dreams.

24: Height?

154(?)cm. About 5’1.”

25: Role model?

I don’t think I have one lmao. I just try to be the best person I can be. It’s a goal in life for me to be a truly good person.

26: Idol(s).

Aren’t Idols and Role Models pretty much the same thing..? 😂 To be general, I look up to those who have studied in medical school because I know it’s a rollercoaster of difficulties and debt. I applaud them.

27: Things I hate:

This could be a very long list. Let’s go:

Unnecessary rudeness/bullying

Being forced into things I don’t like and/or am afraid of doing

Being lied to

Being stolen from

Being thrown in awkward situations

Being denied my alone time

When people make a mess that I have to clean

When I cook for people and they don’t thank me. My face just scrunched in anger while I typed this one lmao.

Arrogant/egotistic people

So many more, but I’ll cut it off there. 😊

28: “I’ll love you if...”

OOF. There’s no specific thing someone could do. If you love me, I’ll love you. I don’t mean the “awe ily” kind of love. I mean the “I will keep you out of trouble and protect you and be around you only to enjoy your company because I love you” kind of love. True love. Not that artificial crap.

29: Favourite film(s)?

Room 1408 is really good haha. I also really liked A Simple Favour. I like a lot of movies lmao. Superhero movies are always good.

30: Favourite tv show(s)?

I watched a lot of Black Mirror before we got rid of Netflix. I watch Superstore and Brooklyn 99 like they’re the gospel. I’m always down for Gilmore Girls because it’s a classic. I often watch my old childhood shows like Danny Phantom.

31: 3 random facts.

I’m assuming you mean, “3 random facts about me” lol.

I play piano.

I read “too much.” Let’s be honest, is it even possible to read too much?

I write my own stories and songs all of the time.

32: Are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Oof. My absolute closest friends are girls, but the majority of people I would consider my friends are male.

33: Something you want to learn.

Everything I can about medicine. I’m so interested in it, and I love the idea of fixing someone’s body. I’m fascinated by the weird and/or nasty things about our bodies. I hope that doesn’t sound too weird. I also wanna learn how to use a French press lmao.

34: Most embarrassing moment?

I had been selected to perform in a talent show a few years back for my old school and I got up there, face planting on the floor. Halfway through the song, I froze up and forgot the lyrics. I have never forgotten that.

35: Favourite subject?

Any form of science or Language Arts.

36: 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

Become a doctor.

Write a song that someone can perform onstage.

Clock in my 10,000 hours in piano.

Extra: I want to learn violin so badly!

37: Favourite actor/actress?

Jennifer Aniston or Nicolas Cage probably. I don’t pay much attention to actors. I also love Jeremy Renner’s work!

38: Favourite comedian(s)?

Oh lord, this question was made for me. Randy Feltface, Samuel J. Conroe, TwoSet, Ross Lynch, and many, many more!

39: Favourite sport(s)?

Volleyball, baseball, and badminton. Low/no-contact sports lol.

40: Favourite memory?

I can’t think of a specific one, but my best memories are always those random, funny moments I have with friends. I don’t think I’m ever gonna forget when my friend and I named one of her plants for the first time. I made a plant family tree. Dear lord save my soul.

41: Relationship status?

Single~

42: Favourite book(s)?

THAT IS THE HARDEST QUESTION EVER! How can I be expected to answer this???? 😂 I don’t have a favourite.

43: Favourite song ever?

Is this q&a list crafted specifically for me to not be able to answer any of the questions? 😂 I don’t have one. It changes with time.

44: Age you get mistaken for?

People always think I’m younger than I am, but if they don’t, then they over shoot it. Most people think I’m 16, or as old as 20-22. It’s crazy lol.

45: How you found out about your idol.

I’m going to interpret this as how I found out about my ult bias, who is Chan from Stray Kids. I was surfing SoundCloud and found the 3racha page. There wasn’t much there, but I liked what they had recorded. From then, I saw some of their survival show and may have kind of fallen for Channie and his personality lmao. Whoops.

46: What my last text message says.

This is the one I got while I was answering this specific question. 😊

“I feel that. I do hate unrealistic stories or stories that go on to fast like. I want to read stories where I feel like the reader could be me and not some sort of perfect girl getting the attention of all the people and fell in love withing 3 seconds and marry. I know that there must be some drama and special things to keep the story going and that's OK but I really appreciate stories who are still based more on a normal life. And you really do a good job in writing normal life stories // And tbh no story made me as happy as your barista!Chan story. It really is something different and I love it.”

Idk if the sender would be okay with me sharing that it was them, so I just copied it lol. I truly do love the feedback I get from you guys! Thank you all so much~~!

47: Turn-ons?

I’m assuming - again - that you mean romantically? I’ve always liked someone who has a decent sense of humour. Whenever I see someone working hard at their job/studies, part of me finds it... sexy? Idk. I’m weird. Save me. 😂

48: Turn-offs?

Overconfidence is a big no-no. It’s annoying as well. I can’t stand someone who truly is an idiot. Nothing turns me off more than getting a text that’s barely legible with a million abbreviations. Speak to me like someone with a brain, please. Another big turn-off is someone who is just automatically very sexual. I’m not a super sexual person, and I don’t want to hang out with someone who has a one-track mind in that sense.

49: Where I want to be right now.

The café.

50: Favourite picture of your idol?

But... he’s so pretty? How??

Sorry. I do not own these gifs/photos of Chan~

51: Star sign?

Taurus..? Idk if that’s for horoscopes lol.

52: Something I’m talented at.

Mmmmmm idk. I’m pretty mundane. I read a lot. I really would love to say I’m talented at piano, but I just don’t think I’m there yet.

53: 5 things that make me happy.

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...” Sorry.

Classical music

The smell of an old book

Petrichor and/or rainstorms

Playing piano

The smell of coffee

54: Something that’s worrying me at the moment.

Everything?? 😂 I’m worried about affording college tuition at the moment. I’m a senior and it’s steadily approaching.

55: Tumblr friends?

I almost yeeted my phone across the room. This is my question. 😂

@hoshithehamster, my fellow plant mother. I think we are each other’s spirit animal lol. I love you more than you know~! As a side note: She’s model material, I swear! Soooooo pretty, inside and out!

@woo-for-woojin, the most adorable and thoughtful person ever?? Always a pleasure to speak to. She gives the coolest and cutest requests ever, I’m-

@a-toxic-galaxy, one of the first people who supported this blog. I love you so much! We both have gotten a little busy lately, but I hope we never fall out of touch.

@doubleknot42, I guess more of an acquaintance? I still really want to get to know her more. The content on her blog is amazing, I highly recommend.

@ethereal-chanracha, someone who I’ve just recently started talking to. We’ve learned so much about each other in such a short time and I already think she’s so awesome! If you’re down for a good conversation, hit her up.

@palemoonpersephone, a friend I made after writing a post about my experiences at school. She is one of the sweetest, most thoughtful and hardworking people I’ve ever met. She offered to be my friend if ever I need one, and I don’t regret it. 💕

56: Favourite food(s).

Homemade granola (I make it a lot.)

Salad (Don’t @ me. I really do enjoy salad. I’m much more of an herbivore. 😂)

Most types of Chinese chicken

This spicy noodle thing I think I invented?

Italian sandwiches

Any type of spicy chip (Takis, Hot Cheetos, etc...)

Plain white rice

Gochu jang flavoured chicken

Despite this list, know that I’m a very picky eater lol

57: Favourite animal(s).

Foxes

Doggos

CATS

White tigers

HEDGEHOGS OML

58: Description of my best friend.

Y’all probably know who this is, but...

Kind

Attentive

Smart

Pretty

Passionate

gOOFY (like me)

The best plant mother in existence??? Fight me.

Patient

Empathetic

And SO much more~~!

59: Why I joined tumblr?

Initially, just to find cool posts and like/reblog whatever I enjoyed. My main blog, @assainfj, is the same blog I started with lol. It’s now become a place for me to share my thoughts and my writing and to meet amazing hoomans.

60: Ask me anything you want.

YASSSSS PLEASE I love answering your questions~~~~~! Send in as many as you’d like!

~

I tag: @hoshithehamster • @a-toxic-galaxy • @palemoonpersephone • @doubleknot42 • @ethereal-chanracha & anyone else who wants to do this!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #195

i’m fighting to stay up and see the blood moon but i am already ready to fail at 9:30 lmao.

What’s the first website you go to when you log onto the computer? Usually KM. Does your house/apartment have a bathtub or just showers? It's both. Where are your birthmarks? On my right forearm and the left side of my stomach. When’s the last time you found something unexpectedly? The closest occasion to come to mind was when I was inches from crawling into fox intestines... yeah. The grass was just high enough to hide them until I was RIGHT there. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy. What color was the last scarf you wore? Idr the last time I wore one. I never do. Is there at least one ex that you can still trust? Girt. Are there any celebrities who live fairly near you? Not to my knowledge, and it's very unlikely. Have you ever gotten love and infatuation confused? Maybe? When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? Months ago. Is there anything that you want to do, but you won’t do because you’re too afraid? Skydive. Who was the last person to yell at you? Mom. What’s the longest amount of time that you’ve spent away from your home? We were technically homeless from I think early February '17 to some time in April (we all "lived" with people I'm immensely thankful for), so that time. Did the last movie you watched have any emotional affect on you? No. What motivates you to go to school? I absolutely refuse to live my own independent life as I've known it so far with serious financial instability that, since being a teenager and truly understanding, has made me want to rip my hair out. Don't for a single moment be unappreciative of knowing you're having a home next month, a working car, insurance, and I'll just stop before this ruins my mood. When was the last time you heard someone talking about you? With certainty, Mom and Nicole, but that was months ago. Are you embarrassed to bring people into your bedroom? No, I like my bedroom, just not the fact how tiny it is. When was the last children’s birthday party you attended? My nephew's. Are you good at reading other people’s body language? I think so. If you’re sick, do you go to school or do you stay home usually? I'm not in that position now, but when I was in school, uh yeah, I begged Mom to let me stay home. Honestly I could just barely be feeling sick and I'd try to stay home. Yeah, I loved middle-high school. Shit, I think I gave Mom trouble in elementary, too. Does chicken noodle soup really make you feel any better? I wouldn't know, I don't like it. What’s one meal that you like to eat whilst sick? A meal, idk, and it also depends on what kind of sickness we're talking about... but with anything, I never eat much or anything heavy. Have you ever set out to ruin someone else’s day? No. Well, I don't really know if I count that impulsive "guess who's going to the ER again" shit, just because I don't remember if that was a motive to just ruin his day, and it also wasn't planned? But I know I intended it to hurt initially at least because I wanted to know he cared, so... Make your own judgment on this one. What was the name of the last board game that you played? I rarely play 'em because I just don't tend to enjoy them almost at all. I don't recall, but I'm sure it was something with Girt; we usually play them when he's here. Do you like to give people a taste of their own medicine? No. Well, if I don't dish it out. I don't believe in karma, but I think it's normal to have a "how does it feel now?" reaction when someone experiences the wrong they've given to others. How was the service at the last restaurant you visited? I don't recall. In a car, air conditioning or roll the windows down? I strongly prefer AC. What type of personality do you find most annoying? Over-the-top judgmental and condescending, but especially egotistical. Do you give any consideration to what’s said in your horoscope? Absolutely zero, and I admittedly find ignorance and gullibility in you if you do. I'm generally super, super open-minded, but. Having faith in the horoscope is a weak point there. Have you ever done cocaine? Wow no. Has anyone ever called you a whore? I don't believe so, excluding jokes with friends and such. Are you the oldest child? The youngest? In the middle? Only child? The middle of my "full" siblings, second-youngest if you count them all. Has anyone ever told you that you have a cute nose? I actually think so? When was the last time you wrestled? Probably with Jason playfully, so years ago. Do you like your first name? I do. Whose car were you last in? Mom's. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It has been twice. First time, the damn hole closed while I was in the hospital (I had to take them all out, and four piercings total closed, yay), so I got it redone. What was the last reason you went to the doctor? Therapy. What can’t you wait for? Going back to school or getting a job I don't hate. Have your parents ever smoked pot? I don't think so. Do you like scary movies, what was the last one you watched? With who? Yes. Last year's Halloween with Mom. Is there someone you know you should hate but you can’t? I believe I have enough reason to hate Colleen, but I don't think I feel that strongly enough to, especially as yes, she did wonderful things for me too, but I can't forget the many reasons of why I questioned our friendship. I think I just strongly dislike her. Do you take walks often? I can't thanks to my damn knees mixed with my current, lovely sweating situation. I can't walk here anyway, we live on the side of a decently busy street. Do you like Subway? Sure. When’s the last time you said you were fine, but really weren’t? Idk, I've learned to not do that. If your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, would you take them back? No. Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? Maybe? I know at least texted. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries. Are you fascinated by outer space? I'd love to see a person say no to this. What’s a fun website you recommend? Nothing surprising or new... Do you answer your phone when it’s a number you don’t recognize? Sometimes. Through VR, the person working with me has really emphasized that I have to learn to when you're out trying to get a job and such with how you'll be receiving calls. Do you like spontaneity? It really depends, but in most situations, I think no. Do you have dreams that you’re not giving up on? I absolutely refuse to. Do you have hope for the future? Some days. Not as much as usual of the late. Are you optimistic? No, I'm a realist. Do you think your hair looks better up or down? It's too short to be put up. Do you like bare trees or green-leaved trees better? Autumn trees. Between those two, probably bare, I guess. Do you love your hometown? Yeah, having the Bloods gang try to break into your house, having eggs thrown at your window, drugs being easy to access, and former criminals walking right down the streets, yeah, it was great. Do you dream of decorating a house someday? Well yeah. It wouldn't feel like home if it wasn't personalized. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? I hate you and your barbarous ass more than I care to describe. :) Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? Never been on one in the first place. Out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? I don't like green much, but I love orange and pastel blue... eh, I dunno what to pick. Is there anything you’re saving up for? A shitload of things. Know anyone with a really annoying laugh? FUCKING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? I learned recently my grampa was in the navy for I believe two wars. Idr on Mom's side. Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? Ugh, change the color of these walls, please. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle? I haven't been on a bus in years, but back when I went home with Jason, we sat in the back with a few of his friends. If it was of my own volition now, uh. Probably the middle. Are you normally a person to tell people off? No, but BOY will I if you give me a damn good reason, particularly if the person has hurt a loved one. Do you currently have any bug bites? No. Have you ever gone to see a movie just to make fun of it? No. When you listen to a new song, do you usually play it over and over? y e s Ever been to a REAL metal show? Not yet. How much time do you spend on the computer? Better question is how much time am I not. How do you feel about Motorhead? Loads of respect for our late Lemmy as an icon in the metal community, but I don't know many of their songs. Like every human being at least, "Ace of Spades" I love and is a BANGER. I'm actually not a big fan of Lemmy's voice, but I can overlook the singing for the overall sound of the song, for example, Megadeth for me. What words or phrases do you tend to overuse the most? "Fuck," "shook," "rip," "fite me," and "don't @ me," lol. I am an adult y'all. Is there anything in particular that you’re shy about? Above all, talking about things in particular that I really enjoy/am passionate about, RP being the main one. You will probably never see me more uncomfortable than when explaining/talking about that with 99% of people. Classic rock love ballads: totally cheesy or totally awesome? GIMME. Are you more kinky or conservative? Well I wouldn't really know, I've only ever done "normal" things. I don't think you'd know unless you tried something. What color is your pillowcase? Both are brown. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever pulled a muscle? Uhhhh. I don't know. Would you consider yourself rebellious? I both do and don't for varying reasons. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) I'll just consider "real" ones, as my first contenders were all from fictional media, lmao. I genuinely like pentagrams, especially when designed in cool ways. What methods are most effective for you when you’re trying to relax? Deep, rhythmic breathing. I recommend it to absolutely anyone in an anxiety attack or something of the like. I believe it's actually proven to work, and at least to some degree, when I do it correctly and long enough, it works miracles. Here's a really helpful gif I trained myself with: https://thumbs.mic.com/MTc0NWZkOWM5YSMvYnhwRHF6Y2JLcUVuOVZGNUV5d1BST3Q0TU1ZPS9maXQtaW4vNzYweDAvZmlsdGVyczpub191cHNjYWxlKCk6cXVhbGl0eSg4MCk6bm9fdXBzY2FsZSgpOmZvcm1hdChqcGVnKS9odHRwOi8vaW1hZ2VzLm1pYy5jb20vZnh1NWxjNGh2d2RseXdwYmdobDU2YnV2ZGp1a2VqbXd5YnhpZXYxanRmaGlvZGNhcWtpaXR5d2N5NWFlc2dlNy5naWY.gif Are you any good at making the infamous puppy face? I wouldn't know; I probably haven't done that since playing around with Jason years ago... if I even did then, and I've changed a lot physically. Would you rather date your opposite, your 'twin’, or someone in between? In-between. Are you a moaner, a screamer, or totally silent? Moaner that tried to be really quiet because I was so paranoid we'd either be heard or I'd be too loud and miss someone coming home or something lmao. I was so scared of that happening that I always decided we had to stop if I was starting to feel like screaming. What documentary topics interest you most? Wildlife. Is there currently someone you want to get closer to? A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Do you take any medications that make you nauseous? Not anymore, anyway. When I started Latuda, it was rough sometimes, but I've been on it long enough to where it no longer bothers me. Do you ever make up your own words? No. Do you have any nicknames that are actually true about you? No. How many videos do you have favorited on your YouTube account? I believe the max where I believe it has to remove old ones lmao. I used to favorite like, any video I liked, but now I use it true to term. When did you have your last 'facepalm’ moment? I did that not long ago, but I don't remember why. Has a boyfriend or girlfriend ever nicknamed your, erm, 'privates’? No, and I don't particularly want anyone to. Do you know anyone who has carpal tunnel syndrome? Myself, actually. I knew I would develop it eventually with how much I've typed since before I was even a teen. My mom has it, too. Do you like raisins? NONONO When did you first kiss the last person you kissed? June last year. What are some of your favorite cities you’ve been to? Literally the only serious "city" I've been to is Chicago, which was great. Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any) Don't want kids, but hypothetically, it would depend on their maturity level. What’s something about adult life you were never warned of or prepared for? Uhhh idk, but mostly because it's not like I act like a "real" adult... No job, no car, no real adult decisions to make, and Mom handles anything else I can think of. Did your parents teach you proper table manners when you were growing up? As kids, yeah, common sense ones and not putting your elbows on the table. Which I find super stupid and haven't done in years. I only rarely put a napkin on my lap, really just if my grandma's here or I'm eating something actually messy. Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Pinterest, and never for something I care about. I need to turn them off. What is the minimum age to obtain a driver’s license in your state/country? 16. If you won the lottery, do you think any of your family members would ask you to give them some of your money? I'm torn between Mom or not for various reasons on both ends... but I'd help her out regardless. What is the craziest thing you’ve seen happen at your workplace? N/A Do you own any home automation gadgets like wifi thermostats or wifi bulbs? I don't think so? What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Dark Souls lmao. What would you do if your ex contacted you? I. Don't really know. I know for sure I'd be closed-off as fuck, examining every blink the dude did. I'd maybe be open to having an acquaintance-level "friendship," but that's it, and I don't know if I could ever stop being aloof. Last time you had anal sex? (if ever) Never, doesn't sound appealing to me. Ever tasted a flavored condom? No. Are your parents wealthy? Lol no. Dad's I believe middle class, but Mom? Have you ever asked someone out? Yeah. What products do you use in the shower? Shampoo, body wash, a facial cleanser. Do you like Swedish Fish? Noooo, they've always been one candy I just don't like. What movie can you watch over and over, and it will never get old? Idk, I don't really re-watch movies anyway. What was the best movie you’ve ever seen in theaters? Idk. Have you ever eaten with both fork and spoon, at the same time? I don't believe so. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? I always do when I'm able to. I like to know exactly when it happens. Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yeah. Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? Ashley's legally blind in one eye, I believe her right. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? I've never been confined to one. Does weed smell good? Or no? Nooooo no no. Have you ever regretted letting someone go? Megan. Well, did I really "let her go," idk. How long was your longest make out? Like, all night on/off. Who made you laugh last? JackSepticEye. I'm watching like, every YTuber I like play the demo of the RE2 remaster. HYPE for that game. Never played the original, so seeing it new and realistic as hell will be nice, plus I'm a hoe for Leon. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap? Was the way Jason treated me after the break-up justified, idk. Which is harder, walking away from somebody you love or coming back to somebody who has hurt you? Walking away. What’s one question you hate being asked? Thankfully no one who doesn't need to know asks, but don't ask for my weight please. Did you make a wish on 11-11-11 at 11:11? No. Has anything exciting been going on in your life? Ha ha. What’s the last question you’ve been asked? (Not counting the survey.) Uhhhhhhh. Something from Mom, idr. Do you know any neat card tricks? No. Have you ever had a dream of someone you know harming you? Dad, in a lot before and a long time after the divorce, and I actually had another recently where I woke up and screamed. Idk why I had it, considering my dad and I are good. Do you have nice legs? I absolutely hate my legs. Do you collect postcards? I don't even go anywhere to, my friend. What kind of flooring does your house accommodate? Wood, carpet, and tile. Do you look good in shorts? I WOULDN'T DARE WEAR SHORTS. I hate my legs, remember??? Do your parents ever try to tell you what or what not to wear? Sometimes when we go out to certain places, Mom claims whatever I'm wearing isn't "formal (enough)," but I sincerely don't care in most cases. Have you ever held a tarantula? Yes, a rose-haired female. She was cool. <3 Do you have a dog tag necklace? No. Has a boyfriend’s brother ever hit on you? No. Who would you pick if you had to pick a celebrity (female) to kiss? In a case where we're both single, uhhhh, fuck. Maybe Suzy Hanson because goddamn she is a goddess inside and out I stan a queen. Now what about male? Same rules as above, be fuckin' prepared Fischfuck, he gettin' more than a kiss lads 'n lassies. Do you enjoy folk music? No. Does it make you nervous when you see people throw their children in the air to catch ‘em? To a degree. Do you own a locket? No. Have you ever seen a manatee in person? (they’re adorable) No. Mom swam with them a looooong time back, before she had me or my sisters I think, and I am ENVIOUS. Does anyone get your hand-me-downs? Not anymore. Does your mom still give you an Easter basket on Easter? She didn't last year for I believe the first time. What kind of dressing would you like on your salad? Inject the Olive Garden dressing into my veins. Have you ever stolen anything without intent? (walking out of the store with something in your hand, etc…)? I don't believe so. Are you good at Sudoku? I haven't played that in years. I used to be. Have you ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship just because it was easier than ending things? No. If you were diagnosed with a genetic disorder, would you still have biological children despite risking passing the disorder on to them? I don't want kids, but hypothetically, I guess it would depend on the disorder. What's the longest song you know all the words to? Ohhh not sure. I could look on my iPod, but don't feel like it. What is the greatest source of anxiety for you? My totally stagnant life. What's something you could endlessly rant about? Ha, so much... At this current time, probably the cancer that is the anti-vaxxer community. What's something you could passionately talk about for hours? Mark, meerkats, and Silent Hill. Do your parents still live in the same house they raised you in? No. Do you know anyone who got pregnant as a teen and dumped the baby on their parents to raise? Probably. What would you do if your own teenaged child did that? Again, don't want 'em, but I'll be hypothetical. I would be fucking irate, and quite honestly, I'd probably end up putting it up for adoption if her ass tried that. Maybe my answer would be different if I actually had a daughter and thus the connection to her own child, but idk. It's hard to answer this question when you don't want kids. What's a place you have a strong emotional connection to? My hometown. We essentially never drive past it, but seeing my childhood home gives me this nostalgic-as-fuck feeling. What is something that you feel you are destined for? I don't believe in destiny. If you could form only one thing with your mind whenever you wanted, what would it be and why? Money, for obvious reasons. If you could control any form of liquid, which one would you want to control and why? (liquid water, frozen water, mist, blood, sap, etc) Blood would of course be coolest, but uh. Liquid water would probably be most useful. If you could have the power of any animal (you don’t transform into the animal, just obtain its abilities), what animal would you pick? A bird, I guess. Would you be willing to merge/fuse with someone else if you got cool powers to go along with it? No.

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 4: “Trying To Cover Ur Murderous Tracks” - Jones

JENNET 

nash isnt on my tribe but i cant help but feel bad for them :((( the last two days that we were together as old calumma i actually started to connect with them. they will be missed 💔

(a little later)

why am i obsessed with ethan ? *insert meme of that tiktoker just standing there*

(after building a bamboo bed)

super nervous for immunity, if we end up losing i think i might try to push for pennino bc he pissed me off the other night saying he wouldnt be available for the comp and literally SITTING THERE watching us do the comp... i really like sam and ethan (tbh more than i like lindsay and jabari) but thats only bc of how much we communicate with each other idk i do know lindsay wants to push for pennino too bc she was annoyed it too so maybe let her do all the pushing and if it backfires, just push for her to go😳

JESSICA

No song 4 today Last round we voted out Nash. That was not my ideal choice (I wanted Nicole to go) but Pete was paranoid Nicole may have an idol, that Nicole/Mikey/Nash were secretly working together, or just that something might go down. He also trusts Nicole for reasons unknown. I didn't love leaving Mikey in the dark (I think that really only helped Pete, not me) but I was nervous that if I pushed Nicole too hard as the vote, Pete would vote Mikey and then that was really the worst case scenario. If we lose this round, I am voting Nicole no question. She asked me what happened after the vote + if we could talk which I thought was great! I sent her an explanation that basically said I didn't trust Nash because they did not talk to me, I was worried OG Calumma was still a thing, and I didn't trust Nicole because she didn't start talking to me until after we lost + she left me on read a lot. And what does she do right after I sent that? Leave me on read again! I was excited to work with her when we first swapped but I don't see that happening at all now. The nice thing is because Pete lied to her, Mikey and Nicole voted each other, AND Lovelis was already initially down to vote Nicole, I'm hoping if we lose the vote is really easy. I also don't think Nicole has the idol because.... ...I found it! Okay, no I didn't. I did find a ruby though. I think that in each quadrant of the adventure, there is a gem and the four gemstones combined will make an idol. I already have 1, I have a good idea of where it could be in the north, and most importantly I am pretty sure Nicole has no advantages. I think if she had an idol, she might have played it last round, but my guess is that there is only one idol in the game and no one has it yet. However right now I'm not sharing this information with anyone. I hope that if we lose, Pete votes for Mikey out of paranoia (and that Nicole does as well) which means moving forward, Mikey really only has me and that's an alliance I can keep long term. I do also think that we are potentially swapping after this OR we will do a double tribal after this and swap then. I do not want us to lose twice because that's when things get tricky but if we do, I think I will be set up well enough that no one is coming for me.

PETE 

so my og Brookesia alliance of jessica and lovelis (plus me) they want to vote out Nicole but i reeeeaaally don’t wanna do that. Nicole and I had this talk of moving on from our past so if I just vote her out first chance I get that’d just be a huge dick move. They for some reason believe Mikey which I honestly don’t, I think he may be a little weasel. Nash doesn’t talk to me at all, so i’m hoping maybe I can shift the vote onto Nash by scaring them with the thought of Nicole having and idol

(after dropping his rice into the sand)

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH IDIDIT I DID IT IDIDIT literally i have THE biggest fucking knot in my stomach i was SO fUcking NERVOUS this is so fuckignw crazy i cant skdjdbxsjkdb i’ve NEVER been in control of a vote before like everything i told someone to do they did like i’m not gonna get all like egotistical and all that but like sjkdsxkdbsjjdjxjdkdb ive never been in this position before it’s wild i’m usually like the mikey. like i’m just there, hoping people include me but kinda just scraping by until they decide it’s my turn to leave and NOW!!!! I JUST BLINDSIDED SOMEBODYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

JENNET

trying really hard to do this comp and my arthritis is making my hands spasm :(( powering thru and hopefully we dont go to tribal. if we do im afraid that im going to be voted out :((

JABARI

So i scored for the tribe which is great but then we tie and there is tower of hanoi. Lets just say ill never play that game again but I swear im not giving up no sir....they said they wouldnt boot me because of it but ima make sure of it.

JENNET 

in love with ethan hes the best person in the world

(after staring at Ethan)

really sucks going to tribal council and i know i let my team down so now im trying to find a way- SOME WAY to remind them that old calumma wanted to go after pennino next and to hopefully keep ethan out of the fire. sam approached me about an alliance with him and ethan and tbf idc what anybody calls me or what they think but im honestly closer to the too of them than to anybody on the tribe- closer to ethan than i was to jake even😳

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/12YzvXBooOu3lndrE99YopPOcO4VEAYYB/view?usp=drivesdk lmk if this works also fun fact i just tried to open the camera on the computer im borrowing and the computer bluescreened lol i hate it here

SAM

https://youtu.be/M4E00bmBj0A

PETE

The way this game is going Id say that I’m probably closest with Jessica just because we’ve been talking since the start, she’s really nice & enthusiastic, and we’ve agreed so far on the things that need to happen so we share a lot of information with each other. Lovelis is a little bit of a wild card because he never really talks that much so I’m going to try to bond with him more so that he doesn’t feel like just another number.

LOVELIS

Who knew we’d pull out a win with flash games! Maybe we need to stop shitting on then and start praying for more of them to pop up here LMAO. So glad I can just have this day to speak to people a bit more and just relax a little - I feel like me Jess and Pete are in a comfortable position within this tribe so I’m praying for no more funny business with another premerge swap but I’m tryna stay on my toes!

ETHAN

Ok so tribal time: I am in a minority position right now and it is looking sketchy. I feel like I am going because of how Jabari and Jennet have not talked to me at all today and instead have ghosted me. I have something, but not sure if I want to play it. Do I trust people, or do I just full send and blow it up? Time shall tell

JESSICA 

Yay we won immunity! I love getting my Dolphin Olympics redemption arc, it's been 6 years in the making.

PENNINO

Now, it's 4 hours before the first tribal as Furcifer, and I think that us from OG Calumma will go and do a Pagong to Ethan and Sam. Since Ethan was a beast in  the comps, and we want to keep tribal lines, that puts Sam up for the chopping block. As for Nash leaving, no surprise. Honestly, I feel pretty safe and now i'm just waiting for another swap.

MADISON

I don't know how I've survived four rounds but here we are. I think I've legit gotten the lowest score in the past 2 challenges but everyone else is a beast so I get to stay safe for another round. The downside to being safe so long is that there isn't really a lot of gameplay happening over on Planet Brookesia and some of us might be a little bit too comfy so that when swap time comes or we lose the next challenge, it'll be scramble city to figure something out.

JAKE

https://youtu.be/Hz-Ix0ZeQ7E y'all when I tell you i'm manic just thinking about crazy fringe theories related to this game lmaoooooo

JONES

ok bet lets get strategic:tm: i feel like a lot of my confessionals are rlly like ,, , , ,me just talking ab "wow i rlly like this person, not this person so and so and whatnot" and i haven't rlly gotten to bare bones like ,, what i'm thinking ab game wise ? for starters - i think i'm in a rlly good spot surprisingly? LIKE don't get me wrong its fking dangerous being in a 4-2 but i think i'm set up super super well? i'm officially working with all of Daisy, Sammy, Shane, and Jake, and am in an alliance w everyone of those people besides Sammy. but sammy has vouched saying that he does want to work w me and has my back and i don't have like,, any reason to doubt that rn ? unfortunately the only way to rlly like ,, ,, have everyone prove their trust to me is by going to tribal aldksfjasdlfj but i dont rlly see a reason for them to like ,, , lie to me ? esp when we haven't gone to tribal? i don't see the point in marinating someone this isn't among us and ur trying to cover ur murderous tracks,,, but ya ? i'm in a good spot. i think based on my alliances and allies and whatnot, and i've stated this already so this isn't rlly a surprise, but madison would probs be the target if we'd have to go to tribal. and Jake has stated to me too that he hasn't rlly talked to madison that much either so it doesn't seem like an uncommon thought process. after the challenge tiebreaker yesterday , the newly formed ALLEANCHE! kind of came together as the 4 most active people on the tribe so it SEEMS like it would be madison AND sammy getting targetted and , ,, , sammy going for me isn't rlly cash money bc if sammy DOES have my back then that's me losing one of MY allies,, but i don't think we're going to enough tribals before another swap for that to actually be a thing ? so hopefully if we do go to tribal it'd be madison and not sammy, but i think i, if not i then maybe jake LOL, can make a good case for madison to go over sammy. speaking of jake i have a rlly bad gut feeling that i'm gonna have to think ab cutting him soon - or at least before merge. i've kinda been letting him take the reigns since preswap to make him kind of look like a leader ish ? so i'm rlly hoping that like ,, , hypothetically speaking. lets say i'm AGAIN put on another tribe w jake (bc lbr we're swapping again),, and lets say hypothetically they wanna split up the supposed "duo" of myself and jake,,, whos the smarter person to take out - the leader whos kinda been calling the shots and making the alliances since round 1, or the person whos proven themself to be reliable and to keep their team safe and be able to go to bat for their team ? idk IDK that's just me but i definitely think like ,, in terms of a building threat level i think jake is definitely the easier target asldkfjasd which is UNFORTUNATE like i LOVE JAKE but i feel like if it comes to me and jake and jake is putting me in DANGER then , ,, well,, :( i gotta do what i gotta DO i'm pawned as old reliable for a reason :katenails: but ya uhm,,, shane/daisy/jake/i were talking on call after the tiebreaker ab what could happen and we all basically agreed theres no way in hell that there ISN'T another swap on the horizon or at least like,, a twist or something. u can't just swap at 18 on a 20 person cast and just expect us to sit like lil ducks on sunday brunch, if anything we're probs gonna swap at like ,, , , , 15? OR hosts are cracked and swap us NEXT ROUND bc they're sadistic. but ya there's def another swap it rlly just depends on when and whos there to experience it - i.e whether or not i'm gonna have security from my allies or not ya feel? i feel. also there's definitely probs like ,, , ,a double tribal. or smth. or like, smth crazy and dumb and stupid that i don't have the brain capacity to rlly comprehend. but ya hope i win this was a good strategy talk #fruciferandcallumathrowchallenge

NICOLE

Hello!!! Nash went home and I'm sad so I am PROTESTING confessionals! You won't know anything that is happening with me! Nothing! (Just kidding nothing happened this round, everyone ignored me and then we won immunity so they had no need to)

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1TxoVh69i2GPA-agNAfyW0G-Bu07weXyZ?usp=sharing

SAMMY

so I had to write a paper and I'm rushing to get this in...blinks...whats new anyways I have been so off in like the idol hunting and I have felt so detached from this game since I have only been to tribal once? but I think the people in danger would be like Madison or Jake? they have both been brought up to me by daisy...and in all seriousness I would be fine with that? I honestly really am only prioritizing Jones and Daisy in this tribe. I feel fine with my position in this game and I even got a point from the flash games. Luckily Daisy won for us in the tiebreaker and we were able to barely escape tribal. I really do hope I can continue to avoid tribal so that I can get as far into this to make it to the more individual stage of this game.

DAISY

https://youtu.be/3kCYnxDIdQY

TRIBAL COUNCIL

[grabcock2]

birthdays are not my thing

WOW what a weekend I don't even know where to begin. I guess friday night?

Friday night I went out to the bars with my fam. It was actually a great time and I loved every second of it! I ended up drinking way too much and I was almost blackout. We got back to the house at 2:45 but on the way home I can't remember exactly what the conversation consisted of but Lindsey said I wasn't gonna end up with Chris, Laura said I wasn’t gonna end up with Chris and Savannah said she could see it going either way. That literally made me so upset. I got home and I called Chris and I honestly can't remember everything that was said. Essentially it consisted of me saying things along the lines of ~I want to be with you for a long time~ ~Why would we still be dating if there wasn't a future in sight~ and I was hammered so I only remember a few of his replies. There were quite a few silences although I’m not quite sure how long/awkward they actually were lol? BUT he insisted that he loved me very much and couldn't wait to see what the future holds. I think. Lol @ me i suck a lot. So then I puked my brains out and went to bed. I woke up the next morning and went to the gym still drunk ha. I hate birthdays quite a lot. I spent most of the day hungover as shit. I tried to take a nap and that didn't work  but then I got ready to see my parents because they drove in! They came and we sat in my room and just talked and it was really nice. Then we left and I got Chris. 

Things werent exactly weird but I’m overthinking like crazy at this point. It was scary I thought I fucked it up a lot. Idk talking about futures is really scary and it was honestly too soon to say things like that. I guess its just the same age gap as lauren and I forget that sometimes. Lauren and I are in very different stages in our lives and I’m at a more mature one so I think that Chris is in that more mature mind set too but then I forget that he is literally just a freshman and I need to chill af. I need to go somewhere this summer I need to give him space. I don't need space, I want to spend every waking second with him but he is still a freshman boy and he's not even 19 yet. He needs time to be a freshman boy. 

OK i ranted enough there. SO bottomline I'm overreacting and overthinking at this point. We get there and have an awesome time I really enjoyed it! ps chris looks adorable with a tiny child on his shoulders. i was dead i died he looked so hot wtf. so then we left and then it seemed a bit weirder but again... probably me overthinking like crazy oops. 

We get to Chris’s room. I asked Ben earlier in the week if it was alright that I slept over with Chris. He had 0 problem with it. So we get there and ben and vikash are in there watching basketball and its fine whatever. I think Ben got the hint the first time and he and vikash talked about making plans. EVENTUALLY  they got up and went to smokey’s. i swear to god 30 minutes later Ben texts chris saying “hey I'm coming back”. We were literally “after sex snuggling��� without clothes on, i was about to kill ben. Chris asks when he’ll be back and he goes “I just parked, on my way up”. WAS LIVID. Ben came back up and sat back down in his room and his friends came in. Never mind that there are 3 other rooms in their suite that he could've invited his friends into. So I'm sitting on Chris’s bed wrapped in a blanket evaluating the situation. Chris goes to the bathroom and I realized how shitty this was and decided i wasn't dealing with it because I was pissed. Chris came back in the room and i told him i was gonna leave. Low-key i think he wanted me too. When ben was on his way up Chris said “Well it'll be a night of him yelling at the tv and me eating a calzone if you still want to stay”. but Chris walks me to my car and its silent. We get to it and he says “I’m getting in” so he gets in and asks me whats wrong. I immediately shed one tear and then it doesn't stop for the rest of the night. For a solid 20 minutes he kept asking me what was wrong and to talk to him. But i had no explanation of why I was so sad. The ben thing was so petty. I don't get that upset about things like that. I’m a tough cookie!! But i eventually figured that I would start with why i hate 20 so much. 

disclaimer - i’m going off on a tangent. 

I hate being 20. Your entire life is supposed to happen in your 20s. These are supposed to be the best years of your life. But I am in constant fear of failure. What if I'm gonna be a bad lawyer? What if I don't get into Law school? What if Chris and I break up and my plan is ruined. What if i don't have a good job. what if I have to find someone else to marry? What if i can't get pregnant? What if I can't get a job? I don't know whats going to happen and thats terrifying. I don't want to be a failure and I’m so terrified I’m going to be. SO yes i hate turning 20.

Ok back on track. So I told him that ^^ and then we talked more and other reasons I was upset i.e. i always cry after i see my dad because i miss him so much all the time and my brother forgot to text me and I hate Ben for ruining the rest of my birthday. Then I freaked again about being a failure and then Chris tells me his philosophy on life. He's so optimistic. He wants a little William running around and a wife he loves and a job he loves. Even if his job isn't the best it won't matter to him because he's making money to sustain his beautiful family and thats what matters to him. ( He made a slight innuendo to me in the future but it was very small and confusing so I’m just not gonna think about that lol) But then he stopped talking and i was looking out the window and I look over and he's crying. He's so excited for the future that he was crying about it. That boy is too wonderful I am too lucky to love someone like him. He's amazing and so inspirational. He makes me want to be a better person. 

BUT he ended up getting out of the car and I went home still sad. I woke up the next morning and he texted me “I’m pissed”. apparently Ben never came home that night. He didn't FUCKING tell anyone he was sleeping somewhere else. LET ALONE HIS ROOMMATE OR ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS??? ON THEIR FUCKING BIRTHDAY?? AFTER HE WATCHED THEM LEAVE THE ROOM VISIBLEY UPSET, HE DIDNT EVEN SAY GOODBYE BTW. I WAS FUCKING PISSED. HE IS SO SELFISH AND INCONSIDERATE? HE RUINED MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY HE IS THE REASON I CRIED. HE IS THE SOLE REASON THAT MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT AND BAWL MY EYES OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY I HATE HIM SO MUCH I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM FOR THIS. All i wanted for my birthday was to spend time with Chris and I couldn't even do that because of his selfishness. I hate that inconsiderate, egotistical son of a bitch. I spent the day with Lauren and Allison and it was a little better but I still feel a little weird about things but in time they'll get better. 

Jesus yes that was my birthday and thats why i hate birthdays. 

well... peace. I need sleep. 

Jan 29, 2017