#idk this is the angst shit that my friends used to fuckin scream at me about LMAO

[lethal-chiralium]

i think it’s so funny that people are so upset with my angst that i need a lawyer LMAO

[pedgito]

hey, im a big fan of your writing. I am also a big fan of Javier Peña, Joel and Din lmao. So can I request a story about either one of those (mostly sfw mainly because im in my feelings) that is more of a hurt/comfort angst? Maybe bottled feelings are freed, a near death experience occurs after a heated confession that didn't go well...? idk I leave it up to you if you want to write it of course. Anyways, again, love love your stories, especially the way your portray Javier. Have a nice week <3

pairing | javier pena x fem!reader

content warning | mostly sfw, arguments over commitment/relationships, mention of violence (bombing), descriptions of minor injuries and emotional distress, just lots and lots of angst [2.6k]

author’s note | this screamed javi so hard so i couldn't pass up the opportunity to write some angst for him

↝ other fics | requests? | ao3

You’ve been at it for months now, waiting for Javier to finally give in and confess to you what he’s been holding back for so long—he’s so closed off it’s impossible, his back turned to you as he grips the chair shoved into the small dining table tucked in the corner of his apartment.

This was supposed to be a one off job, spend a couple months down in Bogotá with Steve—play alongside him in the hopes of catching Escobar, settling into a mix between the three of you, realizing fairly quickly that Peña wasn’t the type of nice guy you were used to.

He was brazen, straight-forward and a little bit—scratch that, a lot of an asshole, so full of himself that it oozed out. Still, that didn’t stop you from climbing into his bed a week into your stay, breaking the one rule you had.

Never fucking sleep with your co-workers.

Look where it got you; fighting an emotionless wall of stone.

He wants you, but he can’t have you. He doesn’t want to see you with other people, but he can’t stake his claim and call you his—but god forbid you so much as consider eyeing another person, someone interested in showing you the attention you wanted, that you deserved. His jealousy is unmatched, the curl in his lip when he sees you across the room around them, the short and fleeting touches they gave to your arm in passing—from your perspective, a simple gesture between friends, but to Javier, it's a threat.

And it wasn’t that he didn’t try to show you attention—Javier was more than that, all-consuming in a way, passionate to a fault. But, he was not a lover type guy.

Still, you were naive enough to think you could change that.

“I’m not doing this anymore,” You spoke strongly, watching the tilt of his head as looks down, burning a cigarette held between his fingers, “whatever this is—we can forget about it.”

“Yeah—I’m sure the others will have a fuckin’ field day when they catch wind,” Murphy let it slip once and it’s been the constant topic of conversation, playful teasing toward you but torture on Peña who likes to keep things private, always, “always eye fucking you across the room.”

“Who cares, Javi?” You ask, feeling like you were talking to a ghost as he refused to look at you. “You don’t give a shit what’s going on here, why should I?”

And it hurts because you do.

It was innocent at first, one hookup that should’ve ended that night. But, one turned into several and eventually you were spending most night at Javier’s apartment to the extent of grabbing dinner on the way there—or, for fucks sake, cooking for the man. You knew that he loved breakfast in the mornings despite his constant refusal to eat it, how he couldn’t focus without his first cup of coffee and why he kept his gun at his bedside and the spare under the mattress.

He’s got scars, faint but visible when you lay against his chest at night—some from childhood, some not, but you wouldn’t know had you not spent the time with him and watched the vulnerability he showed when it was just you, just him after a long, stressful day trying to catch a terrifying monster and the both of you itching to burn off steam.

“You can’t ask me on a date, can’t—jesus—you can’t even look at me, Javier.” He hears the break in your voice, how hard you’re struggling to keep things together.

And you’re fuming, furious, aiming to hit him where it really hurts. You want him to feel. Feel anything.

“You like to play house and let me cook you meals, act like I’m yours when it’s convenient for you.” He twitches at that, slamming the burnt end of the cigarette into the ashtray. It’s the only real sign of emotion he’s shown all morning. “That’s all you care about. Egoísta.” (Selfish)

He slams the ashtray down roughly, ashes flying over the table. You don’t jump or flinch, not at all fazed by his outburst. You saw it too often during work when things fucked up or didn’t go his way. When he did show emotion it was intense and full body.

“I told you,” He says slowly, turning toward you now, “I don’t do this,” He punctuates slowly, fingering wagging between the both of you, “I can’t do—this.”

Clearly.

“Can’t or won’t?”

The difference is staggering, truly. You wanted an answer.

“You tell me you never want me to leave your bed, your apartment, that you want to keep me here forever because there’s nothing that makes you feel this close to home—and you can’t do this?”

He speaks it against your lips almost every night when he’s pulling you into his chest, pressing those soft lips of his against your forehead and kissing you with a tenderness reserved only for you.

Javier never answers, gaze growing more intense by the second, bound to retreat from the situation before emotions boil over—but you beat him to it, grabbing your bag and storming out without a word.

He’s never had to beg you to stay and he doesn’t realize how desperately he’d wished to ask you until a few hours later, a phone call from Steve that has his heart dropping into his stomach, the equal worry in Murphy’s voice as he relays the information.

Steve mumbles your name—hurt, bomb, Escobar written all over it, dead, so many dead.

You’re lucky to still be standing—or rather alive, forced onto a gurney lined in the aisle of some rundown Bogota hospital where the workers were running rampant, clearly on edge and scrambling to save lives.

It was minor compared to what could have been. A small concussion, some lacerations to your face and a nasty gash on your side that required some stitching. It wasn’t anything some pain medication and bandages couldn’t fix, but in that commotion you had lost all of your belongings, undoubtedly damaged beyond repair. You had been in the shopping center ten minutes prior to the explosion and you were shaken, admittedly, wondering why your life had been spared over so many others.

And you always hear about your life flashing before your eyes during a near death experience, never really believing it until it happens—and selfishly, you couldn’t think about anything but Javi.

He was a nasty parasite, the kind that sucked the life and energy out of you, took everything and gave nothing in return. You knew how he was going into things, knew he wouldn’t budge or change his ways.

But still, there was a hope that maybe he would change.

The first thing you manage to do when you find a phone is call the embassy—anyone who would answer and let them know what happened, but they were miles ahead and already fifty feet deep into investigating.

Carillo is the first to ask if you’re okay, not that it matters—but then Murphy is scrambling for the phone, a soft commotion in the background as he argues with the man until he finally lets up and hands it over.

“God, we thought you were dead. Please tell me you’re alright?” Murphy pleads, sounding just as strained and worried as you’d expect, “All your limbs, nothing missing?”

You laugh softly into the phone, the first breath of life back into after what has been a terrible day. It’s already evening, the day has come and gone and the sun is setting without a trace of anyone coming to help.

Not that you expected it—Javier wasn’t the type to get over things easily.

“Yep. Head’s still attached and everything.” And Steve can appreciate your way of coping, adding a bit of lightheartedness to a dark situation. You release a shaky breath, squeezing the plastic tighter until cracks under your grip, “Is there—I mean, they just discharged me, but I don’t have a ride.”

“Javier didn’t pick you up?” Murphy asks, sounding confused. “I told him—he should’ve…”

He trails off, cursing away from the phone as he speaks to someone distantly, “Which hospital are you at?”

You look around for any indication, reading off an unfamiliar name to Steve as he repeats it, scribbling it down on a piece of paper.

“Shit—Javi’s probably clear on the other side of town from you.” Murphy runs a tired hand through his hair, over his face. “They told us they sent everyone to the one here close by the embassy.”

Everyone.

Families searching for their missing—you couldn’t even imagine it.

“He—does Javi think I’m—“

“Shit, I don’t know. He’s been on edge since he got here this morning, we’ve been trying to figure something out, anything—he left a few hours ago when we weren’t getting answers and I just—did something happen?”

“I think I pushed him too far this morning,” You say softly, huddling closer to the wall as the halls become more crowded, louder and suffocating in a way that has your curling around yourself slightly, mindful of the pain in your side, “fuck, maybe this is karma, Steve.”

“Hey, no—don’t say that shit,” He stops you in your tracks, “Javi is…Javi, you can’t predict anything he’s gonna do. Dude’s a fuckin’ brick wall half the time.”

There’s a long moment of silence.

“Steve, I don’t have my phone.” You tell him, “Can you just—call him? Let him know. I need to find a cab or someone willing to drive me back to Bogota if that’s even fucking possible. I don’t even have my wallet or badge with me.”

It’s almost like a divine intervention that you hear Javier on the other end, cutting through the flurry of other voices and busy telephones ringing. He’s wrenching the phone out of Steve’s hand before he can get a word in.

“Querida,” He says soft, voice quivering slightly, “Querida, is that you?”

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will yourself to remember how badly things ended earlier in the day, even if they didn’t feel as important now, they were still important to you.

Emotions were high now, but the fallout could be devastating.

“Yes, I’m—Javi, I’m okay. A little banged up and stuff but I’ll survive,” The silence grows as he absorbs the information, “Look, I need to go. I have to find a ride back to town.”

“Don’t move,” He says briskly, suddenly, “Fuck—I mean stay there, no te vayas. I’m coming for you.” (Do not go)

The line cuts before you have a chance to reply.

You love how well he sticks out in a crowd despite how he likes to blend in and not draw attention to himself, but he’s all tanned skin and shiny with a layer of sweat that tells you he probably ran a few blocks to get here.

You did wait, even if it was closer to a half hour before there was any sign of him, despite how upset you still were, you waited.

Of course you did.

His eyes dart around nervously before they land on you, tucked away in a corner as you cradle your side and he’s barreling toward you, scooping you up before you can protest. The small squeak you release has him pulling back like someone stabbed him with a hot brand, brows furrowed with worry.

“My side,” You mumble, shifting his hand away from the wound, watching as it falls helpless to his side again, his gaze lingering over your body, face, seeing the amount of damage you took, “hey—I’m fine, all things considered.”

Javier blinks slowly, rubbing around the side of your jaw, careful of the small bandage covering a nasty cut, that familiar pout growing on his lips. You saw it earlier, but the implication was different.

This wasn’t anger. It was worry.

“Mi amor,” He murmurs, oblivious to the commotion around you both as he looks at you, almost straight through you, “fuck—I’m so sorry.”

You breathe through your nose deeply, shaking your head as you grip his wrist for leverage, pulling him alongside you until you’re outside, away from the crowd of people and alone.

“No, I’m sorry.”

And for once, Javier is surprised.

He knows you always have a comeback poised on your tongue, the will to fight and work through any argument that surfaces, but this is defeat. It’s clear as day on your face in the way it falls, eyes softened to the point of near tears and your cheek covered in a dark bruise that makes his chest hurt.

“I don’t know why I’m forcing you to answer to something you don’t want,” That something in question was you, but it didn’t matter, “maybe we let things drag on too long. I was just—happy, I liked it. I shouldn’t have expected anything from you since you were clear from the beginning.”

Even with Javier being the first to cross the lines he drew himself, asking you to stay that one night and never going back, making mistake after mistake until it stopped feeling wrong and started to seem, well, normal. But, here you were, taking the blame like he had no wrongdoing in any of this.

“Bebita, no.” His voice is low, thumb rubbing a tender spot in the side of your neck, a soft touch that massages the ache in your muscles, head tilting into the touch as you look at him. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Oh, the irony.

“Now look at you,” He says, scanning over your face briefly, “consumes mi mente, nena.” (You consume my mind, baby)

“I can’t do halfway anymore, Javi.” It’s pure honesty, fingers finding his wrist as they wrap around delicate, using his touch as an anchor. “I need all of you.”

“Then have it,” Javier says mindlessly, without thinking and speaking instinct—it’s real, you can see it in the way his eyes widen and soften in the same instance, that pleasing look that entraps you, “tómalo.” (Take it)

The tears that sting your eyes don’t fall, but they rise, blinking rapidly to will them away and force yourself to keep composed despite hearing those words, knowing how deeply he meant them.

“Fuck, I’ll marry you if that proves anything to you, querida.” He’s being over-dramatic, but it has your insides fluttering like wildfire, “I should’ve never let you leave this morning.”

But, he was scared. Terrified of how deeply he felt for you.

“There’s so much you don’t know,” Javier explains, “so much I need to tell you but I don’t want to scare you away.”

As if he could.

“Javi, I’m with you.” You tell him steadily, “I always have been.”

Javier laughs through a sigh, breathing through his nose as he smiles for the first time that day.

“We can talk. We will.” Javier nods assuredly, “But, I want to get you home first.”

Home. He means his apartment, but it comes out that way without realizing.

He’s tender when he helps you shower, cleans your wounds up with what little first aid he has, but he manages, helping you dress in what has to be the most vulnerable moment you’ve had since meeting him.

Javier holds you for a long while after that, curled up in his lap on the sofa as he smokes away with his head leaned against the back of the cushion, rubbing a hand over your thigh softly.

“Hermosa?”

You’re nearly asleep by then, rousing with a small hum.

“After all of this,” He trails on, “when we put Escobar away and this shit is done,” He pauses, taking a short drag from the cigarette and blowing it out into the air, “I want you to come back with me.”

“To Texas?”

He nods, squeezing your leg for reassurance.

“I'm terrified of losing you here, but home—I would never let you out of my sight, I could keep you close.”

His trepidation will always be his downfall, but he knows he can’t let you go anymore. He needs you here, he’ll need you after.

“Anywhere you want, Javi. I’ll follow.”

He doesn’t have any reason not to believe you.

“Buena.” (Good.)

Please consider a reblog if you enjoyed this fic! It’s makes a huge difference. ♡

[saintobio]

I'm eating sandwich on our dining table while reading chp 5... My heart went-💔 when I know that Sera will be there and-(gosh I can't type his name now IT HURTS) he's looking for her this whole time and then when he's trying to put those shoes on her-😭💔 I run to my room just as mc running away from them not to witness how sweet they are (also to hide my sobbing face from my family here😐) (╥﹏╥) and thank goodness there's Toji my ghhaad-😭 I was screaming internally that he should take y/n far away from that man, take this pain away, forget that husband lmao... But then surprisingly, this husband does care for y/n because he didn't leave y/n side til morning and that's... Unexpected or just to show his goody sides😐 then Sera showed up and I-😐 can't wait for the husband's pov and some hidden explanations🙂 this chap is mixed of emotions... But I'm ok2 here🥺 truly what a wonderful writing and chap again ai-san~💛 thank you sooo much bby now take a rest and stay safe there~💛

Anonymous said

omg, reading the sn update was such a rollercoaster !! sobs

it would be so cute if toji & y/n got close and she becomes the cool, fun aunt or friend (?) for megumi—is it okay to ask how old he is in this series?

++ with their friendship, i’d imagine that y/n would always be like, “wow, it’s really not that obvious.”

then toji would fall for it every time and snort, saying, “what, that i’m almost forty?”

then y/n would reply, “no. that you’re just thirty-five.” LMAOOO

pls i just wish she gets a confidant along the way 🥺 she deserves the world honestly pls she’s so precious!!! hrhfhrhf. thank you for the update, btw! this silent reader right here enjoyed it a lot. 🤗.

Anonymous said

you probably wont understand this but caralho sincerely not ta fazendo eu ficar biruta de vdd

your writing is sooooo good fr i just woke up at 3 in the morning and rn its 5 in the morning and im so auhahahwuuwuqhshsihsjsbbsjshdiwheh because of sincerely not

Anonymous said

I was holding up fine with the shoes fuckery he pulled but omg him calling us "attention seeker" REALLY fucking hurt me so much lmao. Imagine the next time we actually have much sharper, stabbing chest pains which are more frequent and also last a bit longer and WHEN satoru starts actually caring a little and asks if we're okay, we just go, "oh this?? The doctor said it's a severe case of me attention seeking ^-^ Don't mind me baby, you go chase your happiness! :)))" (THAT TOO WHILE IN PAIN) - ⛈

Anonymous said

i hateeee ongoing fics i swore id never read them because the waiting makes me go insane or i forget to read updates but since i discovered u, i literally just cant stop myself from tuning in every single fic—even if its a character i don't usually simp for 😭 i love ur work sm omg

@chaveisa said

i just binged what you have of sincerely not so far and all i can say is i’m in so much pain. you are quite literally one of my favorite writers on this platform and you wreck me so bad with the angst but it’s all angst i love. truly love how you’ve written gojo in this one and can’t wait to see what you have in store!

ps— i found you through wastelands and when i tell you i was wrecked for a solid week >~< truly keep up the good work bb🖤

Anonymous said

ohhhh the asks are open 😳 i just wanted to say that sn is a fuckin masterpiece. reading the latest chapter (about that the shoes that princess diana wore) i really think that y/n-gojo- sera situation is similar to diana-charles-camilla's story. oof i really hope that isn't some sort of foreshadowing cuz EYE-🚶‍♀️💨

Anonymous said

hmmmm i love me some good heavy angst gojo fics.... BUT WTF WAS SINCERELY YOURS HOLY SHIT I'VE JUST READ IT IN ONE SITTING AND NOW MY NOSE IS CLOGGED 👁️👄👁️

@juniorhooter said

FR im scared to start Sincerely Not,, i still have wounds from Wastelands and idk if my heart is ready. Like im seeing all these ppl mad at gojo. I haven't even read it yet, and im mad at gojo. I dont fully know whats happening yet but get with #WeHateHoejoSlutoru and #WeLoveTojiFushiguro. I'll read it eventually... soon... maybe, if im feeling self-destructive. But in the meanwhile, good luck to everyone else going through the turmoil :))

@blossomingwaifu16 said

OMG THE ASKS ARE OPEN AGAIN!! My friend sent me Sincerely not (beacuse she knows I'm a masochist and love hurting myself- 💀) and damn! it did not disappoint- also reading it made me realise how petty I can be 😭 like everytime Gojo was being mean to the mc I'd be like "fuck you gojo your girlfriend is way nicer then you I'd rather fuck her bitchboy" and that's coming from someone straight 💀 but in chapter 5 I was like "fuck ya'll I wanna be single again-" IT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER of emotions and I'm here for it! And oh boy the scenarios I have in my head to make gojo suffer 😈. Anyways I love the writing and could I please be added to the taglist!? I've been meaning to ask but your asks were closed 😊

3rd anon what does that mean jssndj but omg thank u guysss aaaaa i’m sorry i’m unable to respond individually as i also have lots of asks to answer still but i appreciate ur messages <33 i enjoyed reading all ur reactions so far!! :’)

also, all taglists are full! i’m sorry.

[lollybliz]

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

[rocketcowboyblu]

Hi! Hello it’s me again (PArdon me lmao)

Since I posted about the Lion king idea of presenting finn, Thought why not give an idea of the entire movie if yall wanna idk write it? Cause I cant write at all. Ignore the spelling and grammar errors Im trying my best. ANYWAY uh have fun reading this mess of an R.D? (Rough Draft)

Alright, its like 10 years or so after the prime invasion. The BFF Squad finished restoring magic to the universe and found out where Adora and Catra hail from, (Magicat hidden kingdom on ethiera, and adora on eternia etc.)   Catra finds out shes magically pregnant and tells adora, adora is like “Holy shit were gonna be moms” SO like the dummy she is goes to glimmer and asks her permission to present her when the kit’s born. (cause its presumably from magicat culture idk u decide) Glimmer agrees and puts it on her to do lists cause yknow queen shit. 

Months later, Finns Born. Swift wind like the annoying loyal steed he is, goes to inform the other princesses of the presentation. (Insert the Circle of life Music) 

The princesses show up along with a bunch of other people cause It’s She-ra’s Heir/Kid. Anyway magicat queen comes and takes Finn and goes to present them (the balcony idk what part of brightmoon looks safe!?) presume the thrusting of them over a balcony. 

Scorpia and Bow are holding each other crying over how cute finn is, Catra and adora are looking at finn feeling so proud and shit, Glimmer is just holding her head staring at these idiots wondering why she even let them live there.

ALRIGHT HERE COMES THE INSANITY.

Behind the scenes, Catra had been helping glimmer with advising and taking over the actual royal advisors job. The R.A aint happy that her job is being taken by a war criminal and fraternizing with Etheria’s Hero. SO With some rogue clones they build a plan to get rid of finn and catra.

FLASH FORWARD 7 TO 9 YEARS LATER. 

Finn’s growing up and needs to learn the difference between play and work, the advisor tells finn that and suggests  adora help them out. so Adora takes Finn out to the whispering woods to teach them about self defense and magic bonding with the planet. 

DT strolls up cause their now Brightmoons babysitter (Much to their Utter Delight) and tells adora that theres some trouble in the LightZone (Frightzone) about clones. Finn wants to come but adora says no cause its dangerous, So DT offers to take finn cause they were gonna round up the Runestone kiddos for a playdate. 

DT and Finn pick up the kids and they get into trouble. Finn has a whole inner monologue about cant wait to be a Hero or something to make adora let them come with em. Cue the Ditching of DT and the Runestone Kids find themselves lost in the whispering woods.

Rogue Clones find them and give chase with laser blasters. Catra finds DT tied up and explains the kids tricked DT and they hear laser fire. So they go and save the kids. 

NOW catra’s a lil pissed and impressed cause Finn manged to trick DT but also left their sights. Catra gives a speech about how much trouble finns in but also quite impressed with their work and tells them that, they’ll show them how to really trick somebody (aka pranks) 

Later that night the advisor and the rogue clones finally finish the plan to get rid of catra and finn. 

A WEEK LATER. Spoiler alert its finn Bday (Oh god here comes the angst)

The R.A suggests a Royal family picnic. Glimmer, Micah, Bow, Glimbow kid, catra, adora, and finn go to the whispering woods cause theres a nice clearing the advisor has “Suggested.”

a mile or so away rogue clones had been herding up the wild beasts of the woods. (Yknow those hog creatures) 

Catra and adora actually have a gift for finn but want it to be a suprise so they ask the advisor what to do, Advisor tells them that theyll take finn to a spot near the picnic and they can give them the gift there.

Advisor puts finn in a spot and then signals the clones.

The ground shakes, the trees start moving, BAM OUT comes running thousands of magic hogs. RUN

Finns on all fours running for their life, their panting and see a spot which they presume will keep them safe. It’s not safe at all. 

Finn bolts into a canyon, and sees a high top rock that SURE LOOKS STABLE. They climb up it.

Back at the picnic advisor runs back to the crew, and tells them what happened, Catra goes haywire and starts bolting towards the canyon, Adora tells bow and glimmer to get help and grab the advisor and head towards finn.

Catra reaches the canyon first, she spots finn on the rock, Jumping down she goes running along in the herd til grabbing finn, Adora and the advisor are watching from the top, Catra is carrying finn and puts them on a platform of the canyon. Catra gets impaled by a running hogs horn, She goes down into the herd.

“CATRAAA!” Adora cries and jumps down into the herd as She-ra to save catra. Finn looks on in horror trying to spot adora and catra. Boom out jumps adora  going up the slide, struggling to carry catras limp body.

Finn goes to climb their way out of the canyon.

Adora is holding catra tightly and is still climbing til she sees the Advisor looking down on them. “Here! Grab onto catra!” The advisor smiles sinisterly. “I’m Afraid I can’t do that adora..” Adora looks at them in confusion. “Goodbye my oldest enemy” The advisors eyes flash green. Adora’s eyes go wide. BAM a burst of magic hits adora causing her to fall with catra.

Finn screams in the distant.

The herd leaves. Its quiet. dust is still kicked up.

Finn looks at their parents bodies on the ground. Limp.

“M-mom’s?” They called out. Knees buckling they go to catra shaking her “Please you gotta get up...”

“What have you done...” The advisor voice tells them.

Finn looks them at in fear “I didn-” “Insolent child! Look at what have you done! You’ve robbed etheria of their greatest heros!” Finns ears fold back, tears flooding their face.

“Get out of here. If you ever show your face here again I’ll have the palace guards kill you” a bright ball of magic formed in the advisors hand.

Finn bolts. the advisor chuckles darkly, for it was only the beginning of a new era.  

Bow and glimmer teleport to area. they spot their friends.

Glimmer shakes catra “Horde scum DONT YOU DARE-” Catra bolts up gasping and then groans in pain “well.. there goes one of my 9 lives.”  catra looks around and sees adora. And now shes screaming at glimmer to heal her. 

The advisor looks ready to run. Glimmer heals adora and adora stirs going “W-what happened?” catra fills her in (catra doesnt know about the advisor she was unconsious.) And they cant find finn. so now its depresso expresso time cause adora cant remeber what happened and where finn is. 

LOL�� IHATE WRITING THIS ALREADY. 

Alrighty alrighty. So finn gets lost in the crimson and find Lonnie and the horde kids. (they dont know its catra or adoras kid cause they burnt that bridge) they adopt em for protection and help with digging in the crimson waste mines for gems and whatever else. And finn dyes their hair blond and shaves it to hide their idenity in fear of the advisor.

8 or so years past. Finns like 17 and the horde kids r old LOL

Scorfumas kid stumbles upon finn and they go into conversation about what the hell happened. Finn tells em about how they killed their parents and how they werent allowed near brightmoon cause the advisor would kill them. Scorfumas kid then has to explain that the advisor was now running brightmoon into the ground using their grief to an advantage. Btw kyles singing can u feel the love cause he do be misintruptioning shit. fuckin kyle XD (Lonnie is gonna kill this fool)

LATER FINN LOOKS AT THE WOODS AND OUT COMES YA GURL RAZZLE DAZZLE! Madam razz goes into her time loops and yknow the deal, she goes “Catra is that you dearie?” Finns like “YOU KNOW MY MOM?!” anyway razz leads them to the abandoned fort of grayskull yack yack yeack. Razz tells them that evil comes from power, not from heart, remember who you are type of shit.

Finn finally decides to go home.

Back at brightmoon everythings horrible. its the works yknow? DT got stuck in the “Prison” cause of how they were sus of the advisor.

Just gonna shorten it cause this is so LONG. Finn shows up, catradora are in shock. advisor turns out is the leftover of PRIME so then finn and him fight. Finn wins and here comes one of the newest heros to etheria. GG end of AU LOL

Sorry I dont know what I just wrote. but yeah theres the gist of the idea if yall wanna steal and try to write this shitpost? idk lol thanks for coming to this ted talk

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Caring for Zero; Four/Billy x reader

*Author’s note*

Wow so many updates for you guys (even though the last two have been done for years) but still. Now ever since watching 6 underground like all of you out there I have been DYING to make a Four/Billy fanfic and so this was born. Now I apologize for the laziness in the main mission idk how to write an action sequence Michael Bay style (even though it’s all action and explosions and that’s it). So I hope you all can forgive me for it.

Warnings: MAJOR swearing, like rated R swearing, ANGST, some fluff, paralysis (you’ll find out I won’t spoil it for you), explosions, cultural references.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@psychosupernatural​

@waddles03​

@ixchel-9275​

@mexifangorl​

@fan-of-everything-and-nothing​

@bohemiansweede​

@simonedk​

_______________________________________________________________

“But the entire perimeter is patrolled not only by guards but by air fleets.” Said Three as the entire 6 Underground was looking over the map of their next missions, well mission and a half, maybe a quarter.

“Wait an air fleet? Why the fuck would someone have an air fleet patrol?” Four snapped.

“Because the guy’s an arrogant, cheap asshole that has cause too much military abuse of power. But no worries guys we’ve got an Ace up our sleeve.” One stated proudly.

“And just who is that exactly?” asked Seven.

“To answer that question with a question of my own, how do some of you deal with the cold?”

“Wait you don’t mean….” Started Five.

“Oh I mean.” One grinned.

“You know she won’t do it.” Two stated coldly.

“I agree with Two on this One, she said she never wanted a part of this again.” Four said defensively.

“Coming from the guy that slept with her.” One snapped at him like the smartass billionaire he was.

“Okay wait, wait just who are you all talking about?” asked Seven.

“No more questions, we’re going to see her now. Pack the gas jugs and let’s go.”

With that the group were forced to packed up their stuff from their haunted house in California and headed up North to the Yukon Alaskan provenience.  When all they saw was nothing but forests, Seven just had to ask Four.

“So who exactly are we going to see? And did One really mean what he said about you slept with her?”

“Look you’ll find out soon but I guarantee she’s not gonna help us.” Four spoke with a hint of pain and heartbreak in his voice.  Eventually after another hour of driving through the endless forest, they soon came up to a cabin that stood all alone in the middle of the woods.

From the chimney smoke came up which indicated that someone was home.

“And here we are.” One stated as he got out of the jeep in front.  Suddenly jumping out from the woods was a pack of wolves.  All ranging from light tan color to pure black.

“Oh shit!” Three cried out.

“In the cars now!” screamed Two.  But before they could make a run for it, two charcoal wolves came in front of the team snarling and snapping their fangs almost telling them ‘Just try and get past us!’

Soon the pack of almost over 10 wolves surrounded the team and just circled them.  All the team members withdrew their guns but it did nothing to stir the wolves out of fear.  The pack continued to circle the group and that’s when Five said.

“Still think this is a good idea One?”

“Well I could be wrong.”

It was then one of the wolves, particularly the large white one came right up to Four.  To say that Billy wasn’t scared shitless right now, he’d be lying.  He’s done many dangerous things in his life being the ‘Skywalker’ of the group, but staring down a possibly rabid, giant wolf was something he NEVER in a million years thought he’d be doing.

The white wolf looked at Billy and sniffed him a couple of times before ceasing his snarling and walked closer to him and sniffed his leg even closer.  It was like—the wolf detected something familiar on him. It was a faint scent but it still lingered there on his pant leg.

Then something caught the wolves attention as every single one of them ceased snarling and their ears erected as they turned towards the house.  The white wolf looked back towards Billy and Billy looked down at the haunting golden eyes of the black wolf before it took off running. Followed by the rest of the pack who barked and howled away as they disappeared back into the forest.

“Okay what just……” started Seven and that’s when a voice came out from the speakers of the cabin.

“You’re lucky I let them spare you, otherwise I’d let them rip you all apart.” With that the team slowly approached the cabin and when One was the first to look inside, he saw just a few feet away a young woman with (h/l) (h/c) doing pullups on a set of monkey bars.

“Sarah Connor, from Terminator 2.” One proclaimed.  The woman then flipped herself around and just hung onto the bars and sneered.

“Fuck you’re old!” At that One just let out a fake gasped-out laugh as he mocked her.

“Fake laugh, hiding real pain.”

*My POV*

I can’t believe this guys would come back, and what’s with the new guy? Where was six? I swear if this is the new six I’ll call my children back and have him ripped to pieces.

“Whose this guy?” I asked gesturing to the gunman still holding the AK-47 in his hands.

“This is Seven.” One simply stated.

“It’s Blaine actually.” Seven or should I say Blaine answered.

“Okay I’m still not gonna get used to that. Yeah a lot’s happened since you left.” One told me.

“So what? You’re now all chummy with each other? Going to café’s together to sit on a couch like you’re a group of Friends?”

“Yep that’s our Queen of the North, heart like Ice. This past two years have not done you well socially.” Said Three.

“Like you’re one to talk Three. Our last mission in Budapest you nearly killed our target just because he wouldn’t cooperate with the kidnapping.”

“Oh and he did it again with our real mission.” Said Two.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” I muttered.

“Look we came to ask for your help. Can you come with us?”

“Why would you need me One? I told you I can’t help you. Not in that way anymore.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” asked Blaine.  At that point I knew I had to show him.  Might as well get it over with.  I released my right hand and touched my watch with my nose and soon my automatic wheel chair came rolling under me.  I released my grip and landed right on my wheelchair and just stared at Blain like I was expecting the sympathetic eyes.

And there they were. His eyes widened and his jaw unclenched and dropped even though his mouth remained closed.

“Yeah, you can take a picture it’ll fuckin last longer you know.” I then took the motor handle and moved my chair towards One.  “And as I told you before, I won’t help you. I know the only reason you would come up here in person, with the whole team for that matter, is because you physically need me.”

“C’mon Zero we need our Ace back. For the new mission. It’s right up your alley and you know military corruption like no one else.”

“True but that still won’t make me help you.”

“(Y/n),” I heard Billy’s voice say.  I looked up at him and he looked at me with those kicked puppy dog eyes of his. “We need you.”

“You don’t need me. None of you do. Now please leave my cabin. I’ll give you the weapons you’ll need by tomorrow.” I wheeled out of my cabin and headed out to the backyard.

I looked out into the lake that stood by my backyard and that’s when I heard his voice say.

“(Y/n)—”

“I already told you Billy nothing you say will make me change my mind!”

“I already knew that.” I turned and looked at him and said.

“You do?” he nodded. “Then why are you here?”

“I just—wanted to see you. It’s been…..awhile.”

“Yeah, a long time since we—we’ve seen each other.” God the awkwardness you could just cut the tension with a knife.  Why did I have to fall in love with the cute green eyed thief? Why?! WHY!?

“Can’t we talk about….what happened between us?”

“Billy we talked about this.”

“No you just decided that we should end it! Why couldn’t you give me a chance to speak about how I felt!?”

“BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT YOUR FUCKING SYMPATHY BILLY!!! Every day all I kept seeing was the look of sympathy in your eyes after that day. I knew you’d try to make me stay out of sympathy, not just for what you wanted. One knew I was practically useless except for building weapons. He wants all of us on the field or none at all. Cause if you aren’t, then you’re nothing but collateral damage.”

“He’s actually started to loosen up on the rules.”

“Oh really? The day I see that is the day I can walk again, and without the help of machines.”

“(Y/n), please.” He then kneeled down beside me and gently cupped my face in his hand.  I tried to fight back his touch but I couldn’t help but swoon at finally feeling that calloused touch that I’ve missed so much. “I’m sorry okay. I never wanted you to think I was acting out of sympathy, I was—you don’t know how hard it was for me to see you in that pain. I’d give anything for it to have been me in that crash instead of you. I thought I lost you that day, but in the end I did end up losing you. I’d give anything to go back in time to that day and stop you from getting in that plane.”

As he spoke, he pressed his forehead to mine (a common form of affection the two of us did to each other) his nose gently brushing against mine.  I then felt the familiar, intoxicating taste of his lips on mine. It was a brief kiss but it still held so much love, passion and regret behind it.  He then kissed my cheek, then my jaw, but just before he could kiss my neck I stopped him and rolled away snapping out.

“NO BILLY! Don’t! You can’t just—kiss me and expect everything to be okay! I already told you…..it’s over. So please don’t make this harder than it has to be.” His eyes were full of pain as he looked at me in shock.

“As you wish.” Damnit why say that? He knew that was our secret code for ‘I love you’.  And with that he just walked away.  I sniffled and wiped the tears that were starting to form in my eyes away.  I then heard a soft grunt at my side and there I saw my white wolf mixed German shepherd “Ghost” standing beside me.

He whimpered and sniffed my hand and licked it comfortingly before placing his head down on my lap. All the while he let out another whimper as he looked up at me with those haunting yet beautiful golden eyes.

“Oh Ghost.” I stroked through his thick white fur and I told him. “I know you smelled me on him. But I can’t go back to him. He—deserves better than a handicapped.”

“So you do still care about him?” we both turned around, Ghost snarling defensively as we turned and saw Blain standing behind us just a few feet away.

“Ghost Platz!” He turned toward me and using his former commands that he once learned as a K9 officer, he obeyed immediately.

“You taught a wolf K9 commands?” asked Blaine.

“He’s a wolfdog actually. All those dogs you saw were in some degree a species of wolf dogs. From mixed huskies or German shepherds like Ghost here, to the traditional Czech wolfdogs.”

“So what you just—rescued them?”

“Some. Others I found as puppies at the puppy mill just half an hour away from here. I found them, busted them out and raised them. But of course I kept my distance because of the wolf blood within them. What people don’t seem to understand with wolfdogs is that they are just dogs that look like wolves. But they are also half wolf too, and sometimes that trumps the dog half within them. Two different species colliding together trying to overcome till one just takes over whether dog or wolf. And when the wolf takes over, people reject it. Fear it.”

“You say that like you’re talking from experience.” I grinned.

“You could say that. My team didn’t call me ‘Bad Wolf’ for nothing.”

“You mean the others?”

“No. My old team, my flying team. Before I got this job I—was an officer in the US Air Force. Officer (Y/n) “Bad Wolf” (L/n).”

“Wait. I think I heard about you from a former friend of mine. Carol Larson.”

“Ahh good old Carol. How was she last time you ever saw her?”

“She seemed fine. Last I knew she was gonna have a baby.”

“Ahh my older sista from another mista. That girl taught me everything I needed to know. I became the female Maverick thanks to her.”

“Now I hope you don’t mind me asking but from one Military officer to the other, was it a field mission that—”

“Oh no this? Nah this was from working with those sons of bitches you’ve got roped in with. Can’t say I blame them, hell none of us saw it coming.”

“What exactly happened?” I sighed heavily and turned towards him.  Sensing my distress and anxiety, Ghost came up to me and placed his head back on my lap and I explained.

“It was while we were still looking for information on the Turgistan dictator. One of our quarter missions. I was the eye in the sky for the team to take out any in coming police choppers or dick face’s military birds. I was having the time of my life, taking down one bird after the next. I was on point, before I knew it I had a bandit at my six. I tried to shake it off but it wouldn’t get off, nothing I did deterred it. Next thing I knew I was flying dead stick.”

I lowered my head remembering that horrible day like it was yesterday.  It’s true what they say about PTSD.  It never leaves you, even when you’re no longer part of the military.

“As you know One was gonna leave me out there, the entire plane was leaking of fluid and gas. It was gonna blow, but—for some miracle Billy managed to find me and he—pulled me out of the wreckage just as the plane blew up. Next thing I knew when I woke up, I couldn’t feel my legs anymore. At first I thought Five had to amputate my legs. Then again I wish she had.” I chuckled icily. “L3-L4 spinal injury, been paralyzed from the waist down for the past two years.”

“But you should be thankful that you’re alive.” Said Blaine.

“Is it really worth living when you have to look down at your feet and be reminded that they are useless. Like I said, I wish Five had amputated them. So that way I wouldn’t have to fucking look down at these useless mother fuckers and be reminded of my screw up! And Billy he—”

“Deserved better. Yeah I heard that, but did it ever occur to you that he would rather want you alive than to see you dead that day? On the way up here he just got this heartbroken look in his eyes. And I know he tries to hide it but I’ve seen the picture of you two together in his trailer.”

“Oh my god I thought I told him to burn that picture.”

“Billy loves you (y/n). And he still seems to.”

“I wish he didn’t.”

“Why is that?”

“Because after my accident I can’t give him what we once had. I’m just dead weight to him at this point. A Zero. And nobody cares about Zero.”

“He does. But then again I guess that is you. So if you wanna sit here in self-pity licking your wounds, that’s fine by me. But if you’re as good as One says you are, then prove that not even losing the ability to walk can’t stop you.”

“You know you speak as if this is from experience yourself. What branch were you from soldier?”

“Army. Delta Force.”

“Huh, and just what were you to them?”

“Sniper.”

“Ohh well look whose special. Got a Hawkeye on the team now.” Blaine grinned softly.

“Yeah. Survivor’s guilt is a bitch so I know about military corruption too. What it’s like for you to try and do your own thing but your superiors won’t do that. So if you can find it in your heart to save those soldiers under Hassan’s ruling from making the biggest mistake of their lives, then come with us. Or like I said just sit here and wallow like a wounded dog. Your choice Officer (l/n).” he saluted me before walking off.

*3rd Person POV*

After the failed attempt at getting their Ace back, Two asked as they arrived back at the cars.

“So now what? We knew she wouldn’t help us, so what do we do now?”

“We still stick with the plan and hopefully those weapons she gives us tomorrow won’t fuck us over.” One stated as he got back in the front car.  As Billy and Blaine got in the second car, Blaine couldn’t help but notice the heartbroken expression on his face.

“She’ll come around.”

“I doubt it. Two years and she still doesn’t want to see me.”

“Every soldier goes through grief differently. But when she snaps out of it, she’ll be back, and she’ll need you when she does.” He gave Billy a brotherly pat on the shoulder as Five drove them out of (y/n) home and they drove all the way back to their home base.

The next day the weapons arrived from (y/n) and so the team decided to go on and move forward with the mission so they were on their way to Iran through one of One’s personal jets.

After awhile they arrived just a few miles away from where their target, Iranian military General Hassan Yazin was currently residing in his home palace just behind the Iranian military station.

“I still can’t believe this guy would choose the build his palace behind a military station.” Said Three.

“Look the quicker we’re in the quicker we’re out.” Snapped Four.

“I don’t know something doesn’t feel right here, usually a military base wouldn’t allow anything not even a jet to land within 100 miles of their base perimeter. So how were we able to get close enough?” asked Seven.

“I don’t know, but I prefer not to question it. Four’s right the sooner we get him, the sooner this mission is done. And I don’t want any fuck ups like what happened on our first mission.” One said.

“Okay fine, fine.” And with that the team moved forward.  Quick as they could they raced towards the base towards the first hiding spot they could find which was a tank.

“Alright I think I can make it to the east side of the tower and get a clear viewing of Hassan’s palace but I’ll need backup.” Seven said.

“Three and I got you covered till you clear it.” Two told him.

“You know I’m beginning to agree with Seven. I mean we haven’t even seen a single guard on patrol. And usually we run into some by now.” Said Five.

“Again not questioning it! Now get into your positions.” At that point the team started to move forward.  Seven raced towards the tower with Two and Three covering him in case of an ambush. Once they cleared the tower, Seven proceeded to scale up the tower thanks to the tools designed by Zero.

But just as he was about halfway up the tower, suddenly the sound of a jet flew right over head.  However it wasn’t just any jet or plane for that matter, it was a C-5 Super Galaxy.

“Ahh shit!” Seven swore.

“Motherfucker!” swore One.

‘Did you all really think I would make it easy for you?’ through the speaker’s Hassan’s voice rang out.

“Shit, he knew we were coming for him.” Two snapped.

‘Now I may not know who you six are exactly, but it seems you all are of unimportance. So your death wouldn’t even matter. Especially if it were from shall we say…..an accidental base explosion.’ The Galaxy C-% opened up and soon about 20 jets flew out of it and began to circle around the base.

Then faster than anyone could blink, all 20 jets rained fire down onto the base.

Seven scaled down the tower as fast as he could but was soon caught in the explosion and fell the rest of about 6 feet from the ground before he, Three and Two made a break for it before the tower could crush them.

Meanwhile One, Five and Four tried to find cover but every step they were blocked off by an exploding blaze of fire.  They knew they were majorly fucked.  With this constant rain fire, One knew there was no way he or his team was gonna get out of this alive.  As he managed to crawl

From his palace, General Hassan Yazin watched with pride as his military force rained fire on the supposed coup were now nothing but ants ready to be disintegrated one by one with each shots each of his jets dished out.

But suddenly the ships stopped firing down at the six members and changed their firing from the ground to further out into the sky.

“What the hell? Lieutenant what is going on?” he snapped into the commlinks.

‘Sorry General, our radars have detected something from the upper atmosphere.’ His Lieutenant spoke out.  Peeking out from their hiding spots, all the members just looked up confused.

“The hell are they shooting at?” muttered Two.  But it was then they saw it.  Something came right out of the clouds and it turned out to be a Grumman F-14 Tomcat was heading straight for the giant C-5 Super Galaxy.  The Tomcat soon then just rammed into the side of the C-5 like it was nothing as it exploded.

It was soon the team began to realize that this was a very familiar Tomcat that circled back around towards the underbelly of the C-5 and it was at that point Three laughed manically as he cheered out.

“OH YEAH KAMIKAZE!!” The tomcat once again went through the C-5 from bottom to top and the explosion boomed like a firework as the team were in awe.

“God I love that psychotic bitch.” One said in awe. While Billy couldn’t help but smile and laugh ecstatically.

“That’s my girl.” He muttered softly.

*My POV*

As I shot back up over the roof of the C5 Super Galaxy jet, I watched as it fell to the ground in a grand overture of explosions knowing that not only that giant ship was now gone, but the rest of the artillery inside was gone too.  I knew the team was dealing with more jets than they had out there, so I downsized the problem.

Because no one messes with my family.

“You guys take care of the General and his ground fleet. I’ve got your back on the aerial ambush.”

‘It is good to see you again Zero, cutting it kinda close aren’t yah though?’ One’s voice spoke through my radio.

“C’mon One you knew I was one for dramatics. Plus you gotta admit I looked like Captain Marvel back there.”

‘God you and Four with your millennial references.’ I grinned smugly.

‘Glad to see you’ve come to your senses Zero!’ I heard Blaine say.

“Thank me once you guys get that son of a bitch in his palace. You all finished one mission without me, I intend to see this one to the end.”

‘You got it. Care to be our eye in the sky?’

“It’d be my pleasure sniper.” I then pulled the accelerator and my Tomcat took off.  I flew after the jets that were still out that didn’t get caught in the C-5’s takedown and had them chase after me, leaving my friends alone down there.

So far I managed to take five of the 20 jets so far and nearly got shot out of the sky by a few others.  But it wasn’t until I saw Billy was in trouble from not only the ground assault but the incoming aerial attack he didn’t know was coming right at his front.

‘Billy 12 o’clock!’ I proclaimed as I chased after one of the jets and fired at ready.

*Billy’s POV*

I heard (Y/n)’s voice in my earpiece and I saw one of Hassan’s jets heading right for me.  Just before I knew I was a goner, the jet exploded right before my eyes and I watched as (Y/n)’s tomcat flew right past me.  Up and down I saw her fly with ease and grace taking down each plane in her sight.

Even when some of Hassan’s soldiers tried to take down her plane, she fired at them blowing the ground from beneath them.  Doing her famed loop-de-loops and even going in between a tag team of jets forcing them to lose control before firing at them before they could get the chance to recover.

As I fired at any soldier nearby I could help but cheer for my baby. As he place flew right over me once again I couldn’t help but cry out.

“TOM CRUISE DOESN’T COMPETE WITH YOU LOVE!!!”

‘Damn straight he don’t!’ She cheered.  I widely grinned and shook my head at seeing her in her element.  She really was like a Falcon in the air, but a She wolf on the attack.

‘Hate to interrupt the little love fest going on here but can we please focus back on the mission? Four I want you, Three and Two to head into the mansion and get that slimy son of a bitch before he tries to deck out.’ One’s voice rang out.

“Got it.” I then raced on ahead with Two and Three coming right beside me and the two of us entered the mansion.

For some reason and I have no idea why but Hassan barely had any guards left to protect him inside which was suspicious to me.  After I had just taken down a guy along the upper hallway near where Hassan’s room was said to be, I looked out the window to see Hassan trying an escape attempt through a chopper.

“Fuck!”

‘What’s going on Four?’ Five asked.

“He’s making an escape in a chopper.”

‘Not for long he won’t.’ (y/n)’s voice said.  Soon enough I saw her flying in and with just a few dropped bombs I saw the fireworks blow up his chopper.

“Two, three he’s outside let’s go!” I slid down the railings before successfully landing on the ground and we raced out the backdoor.  There I saw the rest of the team surrounding him, my girl’s Tomcat having an addition to it as she now aimed a GAU-17A machine gun aimed right at Hassan.

He turned towards us and he must’ve known he couldn’t win.  Wow what a pussy.  He surrendered right then and there and we exposed him to the Iranian President with the recorded confession Two got out of him.  Soon the news blew up with News about the military corruption Hassan had played in the Iranian government.

And with that another mission concluded and we all once again went our separate ways, except (y/n) and I.

*My POV*

After the mission, Billy and I went back to my cabin because the two of us deserved to talk about what happens now since I’m officially back in the game.  Billy and I were lying on my bed and the two of us were staring at each other, our hands softly and occasionally brushing up against one another’s.

“You were right Billy.” He grinned and said.

“I know I’m right.”

“I’m trying to be sincere here, don’t push it.”

“You’re right, you’re right I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t give you a chance to explain because—well I thought you could do better than me. You know that I—can’t perform well anymore so I’m basically a rag doll from the waist down. How could you love someone like that?”

“For one thing that girl’s got a whole lot more to offer than just the incredible sex we used to have together.” He tipped my chin upwards so that I was caught once again in the spell of those enticing green eyes. “Love the sex was just a plus from you. What I really fell in love with was your wicked sense of humor, you’re a fucking badass pilot, you’re beautiful inside and out, and even when you fall down like shit on the ground, you pick yourself up and brush yourself off and keep moving forward. Like today for example, you didn’t let your paralysis stop you from flying that plane and taking down a C-5 Super Galaxy. A fuckin C-5, do you know how big those things are?”

“75.53m in length, 19.84m in height and wingspan of 67.91m.”

“See? Even your brain is beautiful love.” He praised as he cupped both sides of my face.  The two of us smiled as I felt his thumbs brush against my cheeks.  “You see love, there is so much I loved about you. That I still love about you. So can we—pick up where we left off?” I thought about it and I said.

“Will you still make me those warm pancakes in the morning?” he laughed and said.

“I will make you pancakes for every single meal if it means that we can be together again.”

“Okay I’ll take you back.” He cheered and leaned forward and began to frantically kiss me all over my face.  I giggled as he was now starting to act like Max, my youngest pup who was such a lovebug even after the hell his owners put him through.

“Oh you won’t regret it love, I promise! I’ll help take care of the dogs, I’ll help with the chores, I’ll be your workout buddy, I’ll even push your wheelchair around—no screw it I’ll carry you from place to place.”

“Billy, I’m paralyzed but not incompetent.”

“Oh c’mon love, please let me just spoil you. Just this once please?” he cooed out as he pouted his bottom lip out and looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes again.  I groaned and said.

“Fine. But you can carry me only once a month.”

“Seven times a week.”

“Twice a month.”

“Ten times a month.”

“Billy!” I laughed.

“Okay, okay fine. Three times a month, that’s as low as I’ll go.”

“Twice a month.” I confirmed again.

“Okay. Twice a month.” We then kissed each other to seal the agreement.  “Why must you be so cute in order to get your way?”

“Not my fault.”

“No I think it is.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is.” It was then he gave my sides a quick tickle which made me jerk up and take his hands in mine.

“No don’t do that!” I laughed.

“Why can’t I?”

“Because you know what tickling does to me, and I’m at a disadvantage now that I can’t kick you away anymore.”

“Oh really? Well then I think I may be tempted even more.”

“Billy!”

“Okay, okay I won’t tickle you. Yet.” I groaned and punched his arm which made him groan in pain. “Ow what the fuck that was hard!”

“Oh you big baby it didn’t hurt that bad.” He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me to pull me in closer to him.

“God I love you.”

“I love you too. And I really did miss you Billy, really.”

“Of course you did.”

“Don’t push it.” He smirked before capturing my lips with his again.  This time our kiss deepened as I felt him cup the side of my face. When air became a desperate thing, he separated from me and our breaths intertwined with each other’s.  “God I’ve missed kissing you.”

“How do you think I’ve felt?” he kissed my cheek and snuggled close to me.

“So you—you don’t mind if we don’t…..”

“(Y/n), it’s fine. The sex was just a plus with you. I don’t mind just cuddling close with my best girl.” He lay down and pulled me close so that my head was resting on his chest and I felt him stroke my back, specifically my lower back where my L3-L4 spinal points were located at.

“So you don’t mind having a paralyzed girlfriend?” I asked him.

“So long as that paralyzed girlfriend is you. I’m always gonna love you (y/n) no matter what. Never, ever doubt that.”

“I—I think I may need to be reminded again.”

“I’ll gladly tell it to you a million times a day if it’ll get you to understand.” I felt him kiss the crown of my forehead lovingly and I breathed in his intoxicating scent that I always found addictive.  His cologne mixed with a bit of sweat from his parkour scaling.  I closed my eyes and buried my face into his chest and embraced my love once again for the first time in two years.

“I love you Billy. My King of the skies.”

“And I love you (y/n), my Queen of the skies.” And with that the two of us fell asleep together holding each other close and exchanging kisses every now and then.

[primedirection]

Dead to me

In which Harry does the unthinkable

Warning: Angst

AN: Idk about you but I like the pain

These past three years have been an absolute rollercoaster. It had it's ups, it's loops, and right now it's downs.

It had been building up over a couple months. Harry could be the sweetest enchanting soul and he could be the coldest. Giving even the devil a run for his money. It was what you like to call 'On season'. The season where he was in the studio everyday, and when he wasn't in the studio he was out with mates 'finding inspiration' until the sun came up. The one where only some nights he'd have the gall to send you a 'Don't wait up!' text, instead of just leaving you to stay up and worry until he walked through the front door again. But during 'On season' even when he was home it wasn't much better. He'd either sleep the day away to recover from the nights he went out, or he'd spend them locked in his study going over the soon to be promo schedule bound to drag him away from you as well. Those days he hardly spoke a word to you.

Like everything else in this relationship, part of the blame fell on yourself. It's not like you didn't know what you signed up for. You knew how massive his role was in this world, how important and how hard he had to work to keep his career thriving. How much he meant to people around the world and what they meant to him. It's why during 'On season' you bit your tongue until it sometimes bled to dejectedly leave him be instead of starting a potential argument by asking him to spend some time with you. And perhaps that's where you went wrong because you let it build until it reached your limit.

Tonight started like the many. Harry starting his day in the studio and ending it in a club somewhat drunk. Unsuccessfully sneaking inside at four in the morning to lay down on the sofa to sleep it off, but you were there already up waiting on him. Not that he was even slightly surprised to see you there.

He merely sighed raking his fingers through his short disheveled hair before dropping his keys off and shrugging off his coat. Slurring, "Shit, could've sworn I text you,"

The lack of a genuine apology in his carefree reply had overstimulated the animosity building up inside you and spilling out of your mouth without a second thought. Scoffing, "That would require you to think of someone other than yourself for once. Obviously something you're not capable of,"

You didn't mean that, you swear you didn't but once you started it was impossible to stop. At the sound of your tone he momentarily paused before visibly wilting. With a new type of lag in his step as he approached. The closer he got the better you could see the cold bleary green of his heavily lidded eyes, and the dark circles under them to match.

"Please, please don' fuckin start. I'm tired, you're tired let's just go t' bed and start over tomorrow when-"

"No! Fuck that! All I've been doing is waiting! Waiting for you to take a break, waiting for you to come home, waiting for you to fucking acknowledge that I even exist!" You shout absolutely fed up.

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and it immediately reminds you of the first time you had this argument. Back then the gesture used to calm him down. He looked up afterwards with remorse in his eyes, hurt that he hurt you and it ended in a sincere apology and the most intense love making you've ever had. But now when his hand dropped he looked nothing short of furious. Nostrils flared, lips pressed tight, jaw clenched, and brows pulled tight enough to create the famous crease his fan girls loved so much.

"Alright then, c'mon! Lay your shit on top of the even bigger pile I have on my plate! Hurry up and blame me for everything so I can get to fucking bed already," he seethes through bared teeth.

"Oh come off it, you're not the damn victim here, Harry. If you're really so got damned tired then maybe you should try sleeping at night instead of partying all the damn time!"

Harry flinches at first, that taken aback. He thought you understood more than anyone just what he'd been working so hard toward. So just as quick he becomes really angry, chest heaving and unable to refrain from storming toward you and shouting back, "I've been fucking working! You know good and well networking and being seen is apart of my job. I can't afford to be a damn hermit!"

"Every single night? Really?"

"You don't seem to have a problem with that when the bills come in. Not that you've ever seen one," He glares maliciously.

Now that actually hurt, like taking a punt in the gut hurt. You were left breathless all the same. Gasping, "Harry,"

And yet he still wasn't done. "No if you're gonna attack me for being 'selfish' then I get to defend myself when you're being ungrateful!"

"Ungrateful, are you kidding me? I've made sacrifices just to be here with you Harry! I'm the one that comes running to your every beck and fucking call. Whenever and wherever you're lonely, tour included! When your so called friends bail I'm the only one left to take care of you!" Adrenaline courses through you so intense your hands won't stop trembling.

"Wow, I didn't realize flying out for a fuck was such a big deal. You made those choices to come, I didn't force you! And s' not like you didn't get something in return for it anyway,"

Your heart nearly shattered at how vile he painted that experience. The lowest blow he could ever make. Those memories truly meant the most to you. "And it's not like I asked you buy me shit!" You fumed.

"So you're just gonna ignore this fancy fucking house we live in? As if it wasn't your idea, hmm? The nice cars you drive, the endless flights back and forth for your family because you can't be alone for one damn day, the five star hotels, the fucking trips that I take you on-"

"That's not the point, Harry!" You damn near shriek overwhelmed, tears pouring freely down your cheeks, "I don't care about any of that!"

"You don't care? You don't care and I've been working my ass off for it. Really?" In that moment something snapped inside of Harry, like a switch. His stress and rage merging into one and swelling like a balloon, desperately needing some kind of release.

"Harry you know I—"

"No, I know exactly what you meant! Fuck all this shit right? You don't care?" Harry suddenly goes on a rampage. Starting with the first shelf that you built together when you first moved in, lined with pictures of both of you from milestones over the years. With rabid force you've never seen him use he tosses it over face first. Shattering most if not all the frames on the tiled floor. The shelf itself splitting in half.

Leaving you screaming, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"You're what's wrong with me!" He shouts and then went another shelf. One that contained both of your favorite childhood photos.

"Harry stop!" You plead shielding your eyes as shards of debris fly all over the place.

"I've been working myself so hard! Practically to an early grave for this— for you?!" He began stalking towards the fireplace and your heart stopped. He wouldn't, would he?

As he shows no signs of letting up you panic and desperately beg, "Harry stop! Please don't —" but he doesn't care and you are too late to physically stop him.

The sounds of glass breaking as he swept his hands over the mantle was enough to startle you but there was a crash of one particular item that sent your heart shattering with it.

A container that hadn't even been a year old yet. Your feet carried you over to the mess without your brains comprehension or a single care that Harry's tirade moved on to a different shelf. Nor about the shards of glass that stung both your knees as they tore your skin open or Harry eventually demanding what the hell you were doing. All you registered was the slight cloud of dust resonating in the air and the actual pool of ashes spread about all over the floor.

Ashes that belonged to your father. Just everywhere.

Harry had heard you cry before plenty of times, not that he was proud of it. But there was something eerily disturbing and heart wrenching about the way you were trembling and sobbing uncontrollably now. As upset as he was it made him stop dead in his tracks. He instinctively assumed that you had been hurt given your collapsed positon. Immediately he felt guilty but that multiplied by ten fold once he rushed closer to your side to help.

At first he didn't understand how you could be covered in dirt so suddenly and then the realization set in that it wasn't dirt at all. He fucked up and he fucked up irrevocably.

Hardly even a year ago your father passed from cancer and you had been waiting to scatter his ashes on his birthday. Harry knew that. He just didn't know that you moved him there on the mantle he all too recently destroyed.

Pretty soon he found himself on his knees cursing and pleading. His hands shaking too now grabbing at broken shards of glass, "Shit! Shit baby, I didn't mean tha'! I didn't know he was there I swear it! Shit. M' so sorry. I'll fix it, I'll get you a new one I promise,"

Your father's death took the hardest toll on you that he's ever seen, and once again it was resurfacing. He broke you.

Your feedback is always appreciated!

Part 2

[whorderofthepheonix]

Sacredly Scarred: Chapter 20 || Erik Killmonger

A/N: *sighs* may or may not be the last chapter. idk. depends on y'all. Enjoy tho. 200+ if you want the next part (and if it takes forever, Imma take forever to post ch.21 lmfaoooo) PLEASE REBLOG INSTEAD OF COMMENT xx

Words: 2k

Warnings: Swearing, Mild Violence, Vomit Warning, Lil Itty Bitty Angst, Cliff Hanger af

Erik’s POV

I pounded on the apartment door, eager for someone to answer.

“Erik, relax,” Yenai gasped. “You seem... Impatient.”

“Sorry, I just... Really want tea,” I mumbled. The door swung open and I was ready to pounce.

“Yenai! Erik!” 1 greeted. She looked fine... Like no sign of any injury or anything. Just an oversized yellow sweater and some leggings. “We weren’t expecting you.”

“Sorry to just barge in like this but Erik really wanted to join us for tea,” Yenai apologized, “and he insisted we come now.”

“Well tea’s not till 4,” she looked down at her watch. “But by all means, come in and join us for brunch! We’re out on the balcony.”

“Glady,” I pushed past them and onto the balcony. The other twin was out there, nibbling  lightly on a piece of toast. She wore an identical outfit to her sister, but with a blue sweater.

“Hi Erik!” She greeted. Yenai and 1 came in soon after. “Yenai too? Are you guys joining us for brunch?”

“Yup,” I said sitting across from her.

“Splendid!” 2 clapped. “Dorota! We need 2 more plates out here please!”

“So, Yenai, I’m sorry I couldn’t talk yesterday,” 1 frowned. “We were at the Marc Jacobs fashion show. They usually confiscate phones but I snuck mine in.”

“Well, it was a good thing you were dealing with fashion because I’m working with Vogue!” Yenai squealed. The twins gasped.

“No!” 2 gasped.

“OMG how?” 1 asked.

“Remember that dress I made with the tribal prints?” They nodded. “Well they saw it and loved it and now they want to add it to the Fall collection!” The 3 of them screamed and held hands.

“Congratulations!” 2 grinned.

“Yeah, we’re totes happy for you!” 1 added.

“Thanks guys!” Yenai laughed as the maid placed plates of bagels and lox in front of us. The moment Yenai saw it, she gulped. “Um... Is this raw?”

“Smoked,” 2 declared. “But very, very lightly. I hate when it’s not chewy.” Yenai started heaving.

“You good baby?” I whispered.

“Um, yeah... It’s just the smell,” she gagged. “And the look... and... I’m just gonna use the restro-” She covered her mouth and ran back into the house.

“Is she okay?” 2 asked.

“Yeah, she just has really bad food poisoning,” I said folding my arms. “So Marc Jacobs, huh? What was that like?”

“Like all the rest,” 1 rolled her eyes. “Been to one, been to them all.” I looked behind me to make sure Yenai wasn’t in ear shot.

“Does Yenai know?” I asked. They looked at each other confused.

“Know what...? About the fashion show? We just told her,” 2 raised an eyebrow.

“Cut the shit!” I hissed. “You know damn well you weren’t at no fuckin’ fashion show last night!” 1 took out her phone and opened her snapchat.

“Look from 7:30 PM until 11:29 PM we were at the fashion show then we went to the after party,” she said. “Am I missing something?”

“Now, I’m confused...” 2 frowned. “Where did you think we were?” Maybe I got it wrong... Maybe it was just a coincidence... But I was sure it was them... I sat back in my chair and look a bite of my bagel.

“Forget it,” I sighed.

“Hey, I LOVE your watch!” 1 gasped. “Rolex Chronograph right? Our dad has the exact same one!”

“Yeah, he’s been collecting since before we were born!” 2 added. “Come, we’ll show you!” They both got up and I followed them through their bedroom and into one of the closest. A giant wall full of watches was right above a smaller case with more watches.

“There are 320,” 1 spoke. “We only take them out to wear as good luck or on Sundays to have Dorota clean them.”

“It is Sunday,” I pointed out.

“Oh fuck! It is!” 2 groaned. “I’ll get Dorota.”

“I’ll go check on Yenai,” 1 said. Then they both left the closet. I looked carefully at each watch. Ther were all accounted for. Well there goes that theory... I looked around the closer which was filled top to bottom with expensive jewelry and clothes. Just as I was about leave, one of the watches in the case caught my eye. I opened the case and picked it up. It looked almost identical to mine, it just had lower case letters instead of uppercase, like most Rolex’s do... I heard footsteps so I scurried to put back the watch, causing me to fumble and drop it on the floor. I bent down to pick it up from under the case, accidentally grabbing something else instead. A brown paper bag. I slowly opened it pulling out a bloodstained shirt and a clown mask. That’s when I heard a clicking sound from behind me and someone clearing their throat. I sighed and raised my hands in surrender, getting up and facing the door. 1 had a rifle pointed to me while 2 had her arms folded across her chest.

“Pardon me sir,” 1 smirked. “You have something that belongs to us. I’d like it back.”

“I fucking knew it,” I laughed. “So you two are the little fuckers who’ve been fucking with my assignments.”

“We haven’t been messing with anything,” 2 pointed out. “We get calls and we go. The same as you.”

“So I’m just supposed to believe that you two, fucking pris and perfect, are assassins?” I laughed.

“You’re damn right!” 1 snapped. “Now give me the fucking watch!” “Fuck no! You gave this to me and I didn’t kill ya ass!”

“You shot my sister!” 1 yelled.

“Twice!” 2 growled. “In the same spot!” “Well, I was letting you go and you threw a knife at me,” I shrugged.

“Enough fucking talking!” 1 hissed. “Hand over the watch. It was my dad’s favorite.”

“Hmm... No. Fuck you,” I dropped my hands.

“I mean it!” She shouted. “Or I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” I walked over to her. “Aside from killin’ niggas I also deal in weapons. You don’t think I know a paintball gun over an actual rifle?” She sucked her teeth and dropped it.

“Fine, whatever. I had to leave our weapons at the warehouse last night to get Ayana to the hospital,” she rolled her eyes. “Just... Please give me back the watch,” she begged. “Despite all the watches on the wall, that was the only one that belong to our dad...”

“Aight, I’ll give you back the watch, under one condition,” I smirked.

“Nigga, we are not having sex with you,” 2 crossed her arms.

“If it means getting the watch back, yes the fuck we are!” 1 glared at her.

“What the fuck? No! That’s not- Never mind,” I groaned. “I’ll give you back the watch if you agree to cut off whatever nigga you workin’ wit and work for me.”

“What?” They asked together.

“You serious?” 1 asked.

“Fuck yeah, I’m serious,” I nodded. “Y’all can fight. Plus we can use y’all for baiting niggas out.”

“He’s actually serious,” 2 gasped.

“How much money you make in a week?”

“I don’t know... 200 maybe 300 grand on a good week,” 1 shrugged.

“I once made 2 mil in one night,” I told them.

“Holy fuck!” 2 exclaimed. “2 million fucking dollars? Alyssa, do we even have to pretend to think about this?”

“Hell no!” 1 laughed extended he hand. “It’s a fucking deal!” I shook her hand and took the watch off my wrist giving it to her.

“We’re in business then,” I smirked. Then Yenai walked in, looking confused and scared.

“Um... What’s going on here?” She asked, warily.

“Nothing,” the three of us said in unison.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll pretend to believe that,” she rolled her eyes. “Girls I’m sorry, but I have really bad food poisoning and I can’t keep anything down. Erik can we go back upstairs?”

“Sure thing, baby girl,” I walked over and kiss her head. “Let’s go.”

***

I’ve had a weird feeling about Yenai since the day we had brunch with the twins. And it wasn’t just from her being sick. Like now, it was day 3 and she was STILL throwing up! She had to call in sick from work, which her boss eagerly gave her. Yenai guessed that she was still embarrassed from dinner the other night. That was the last real conversation me and Yenai had... THREE DAYS AGO! Everything else was all responses and simple questions. And when they weren’t responses or questions, they were bitchy remarks or constant nagging. I came from meeting with the Twins, whose names are apparently Ayana and Alyssa, and walked into the house.

“Baby, you home?” I called out. She walked out of the bathroom.

“Where else would I be, Erik?” She rolled her eyes. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from replying rudely.

“The twins made you soup,” I offered putting the bowl on the counter. “They said it helps nausea.”

“You were down there again?” She scoffed. “You’ve literally been down to see them everyday since brunch!”

“Is that a problem?” I asked, folding my arms.

“If you previously hadn’t tried to fuck them then no, it wouldn’t be,” she snapped, taking the bowl of soup and throwing it in the trash.

“Yo, the FUCK is ya problem, Yenai?” I shouted as she retreated to the bedroom. I followed her and closed the door.

“My problem Erik, is that instead of staying here and making sure that I’M okay, you’re off galavanting with MY friends!” She shouted back.

“Well maybe I’d want to be around her more if you weren’t being such a bitch to me all the fuckin’ time!”

“Oh word?! I’m a bitch now? Riiiigggghhhhttttt! Copy!” She stormed into the closet and started grabbing her clothes off the hangers. I took a deep breath and leaned against the closet door.

“What are you doing?” I groaned.

“Since I’m such a fuckin’ bitch, there’s no use in me staying, right?” She shrugged, opening a duffle bag and stuffing the clothes in.

“So first of all, ya ass don’t got a place to go, so let’s cut that shit out aight?” I took the duffle from her. “Secondly, you gon just pack a bag and leave every time we get into an argument? You gon be doin’ a lot of packin’ and unpackin’ ma, I’ll tell you that.”

“Fuck you,” she spat pushing past me, going back into the bedroom. I grabbed her wrist. “Get the fuck off me.”

“Nah, you not goin’ nowhere till we deal with this shit, Yenai. I’m not bouta keep quiet everytime you snap at me or yell wit ya stank ass attitude. We gon sit down and talk like fuckin’ adults.”

“I have nothing to say-”

“The fuck you don’t!” I snorted. “You got allat mouth when I try to help you and now you got nothin’ to say. Nah.” I wrapped my arms around her. “Tell me what’s on ya mind, baby girl.”

“Get off me,” she whispered, her voice cracking.

“No. Talk to me,” I insisted. She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “DId I do something wrong?”

“No,” she sniffled, letting tears fall. “You didn’t... I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch...”

“It’s aight... I’m not bouta force you to tell me what’s wrong, but we can’t keep goin’ like this, Yenai...” I sighed. “When you ready, you gon tell me right?” She shut her eyes and shook her head.

“I can’t! I can’t tell you!” She cried. “I’m scared...”

“Why can’t you tell me? What’s scaring you?” I asked cautiously. She kept shaking her head, sobbing.

“I can’t...”

“Yes, you can.”

“No, I can’t! I can’t! I can’t! I can’t!”

“Yenai-”

“No, Erik! Just stop! Please!”

“Baby, please talk to me-”

“Erik!’ “Why are you so scared?!”

“BECAUSE I THINK I’M PREGNANT, OKAY?!” She screamed. I heart stopped and my blood turned cold. “...I think I’m pregnant and I’m scared...” She whispered. “I’m so fucking scared...”

~~~

Tag List: @kzmiaz13 @marysxo @forbeautyandlife @blackandfair @imdiirtydan @theunsweetenedtruth @Maya-leche @fromthebaytola @jennxgold @supernovaah @hidden-treasures21 @shame-full-love​ @queenshxt-only​ @cutewylie @pupyluv247​ @elegantd @namelesslosers​ @sociallyawkward18 @pandagirl200 @chelledallas @thatbish27 @janellemonaenae @blaq-gyal @ironsquad @godhatesyouandi @bigdaddythraxxx @cocooned-butterfly @someareblindtoitsbeauty @84eix​ @sincerelyroxxie @i-am-shee @thadelightfulone @depressed-little-shadow @vikkidc @keonaforever21 @keairadiamond @plushthighs @itsjustshanie  @ovohanna24 @getyourfandomon (the rest is in the comment section)

[twinksegs]

OMG interaction on tumblr.com i’m shocked!!!!! lydz @hockeydilf tagged me in the top 10 songs i’ve been listening to currently!!! i’ve been in a really heavy deathcore/music of my emo days kick so please excuse all the teenage angst and brutal rage and random shit, leggo:

1. DARKEST SPAWN BY LORNA SHORE oh my fuckin goddddd!!!!!!!! so HEAVY AND YUCKY and black metal-esque omg!!!!! the best. out of all the times i have said i’m obsessed with a song, i never really knew what it meant to b obsessed. honestly. i got SERVED by this mf song. “none of us are fucking safe, in a sick world full of snakes”

2. my disguise by currents highly recommend this song even if u arent into heavy music, it’s more metalcore and less screaming

3. maleficium by lorna shore honestly the song and the entire EP (even tho my fave song on the EP is a toss up between uhhhhh lets face it ALL OF THEM gdi) tom barber’s voice is so powerful and the whole tracklist from start to finish is spooky as fuck and i love it. it gives me goosebumps. maleficium is the latin word for “an act of witchcraft performed with the intentions of causing damage or injury” per wikipedia and it matches the tone of the album in its entirety. HOWEVER what i love so so so so much about lorna shore, who are basically my perfect all-time favorite deathcore group, is that their lyricism in my opinion is far above their competition in the genre. most bands think every song being a variant of “fuck your religion/god” which yes i get the sentiment but its boring and worn out and lorna shore provides such a depth of emotion and a way with words that is only intensified by tom’s growls and thrilling highs jsjsksjzkzk okay i’m done

4. without me by halsey ...look i don’t know shit about this girl other than that baby pull me closer chainsmokers song but the moment i heard this i was HOOKED. BRUH. her voice in this song makes me MELT

5. wornout by traitors “my generosity has turned into a ball and chain, that’s the cold hard truth.. i’d stay the fuck away from me IF I WERE YOU” perfect for headbanging the FUCK OUT

6. imagine by ariana grande because lets b honest...who isnt obsessed w/ this song (is it problematic for me to say that i dont like 7 ringz)

7. do bad on my own by z-ro like i said this list is fucking random and while i acknowledge wholeheartedly that this is a bop, idk why it always fucking ends up stuck in my head!!!!! like i’ll be cleaning tables before the dinner rush and BAM the next 4 hours my subconscious elevator music playlist gets jammed on this track.....so involuntarily this is a top song in my spotify

8. hour of abhorrence by signs of the swarm after getting acquainted with lorna shore replacing tom barber with cj mcreery and of course tearing thru LS’ entire discography, i decided to check out cj’s old band and ONCE AGAIN i’m fucking obsessed with his old sound like the “senseless order” album is so PERFECT and hauntingly heavy. the intro to hour of abhorrence embodies that tone that reverberates through my chest and chills me deep to my bones!! perfect gym music too!!! love cj like have a huge fucken crush on him he’s so pretty

9. the conscience killer by a skylit drive TOTALLY fucking indulgent of my emo phase from age 11-15 but in all honesty a skylit drive will always be one of my favorite bands. she watched the sky (the best), wires, adelphia, identity on fire— ALL SO MONUMENTAL IN MY YOUNG ADULT LIFE. i remember going thru some shit and being so DEPRESSED but i would take my giant red cd player, plug into the outlet on the back porch and lie down in the sun and listen to indentity on fire cd on repeat. wow. the memories and the emotions associated with the songs are heavy!!!!

and last but not least.... (finally, right?😭😹)

10. no show by toro y moi like dude....i dont want to listen to anything but metal atm man but i was just reminded of this amazing musical group that my fellow metal-loving friend and coworker is seeing in concert right now. this song is heavenly i swear and it’s a bop u can get down n grind to. “my baby got fed up with my ego”

okay this is alot and if u made it all the way through thank you for sharing my thoughts and parts of my heart as i am connected to the music i love in thatnway!!!

💭💭🔅🔆fuck i’m so blitzed i almost forgot i have ti tag people so i choose @escarjorts @ursamini @clammylemon @egertin @jordanstaalsmugshot @buyerns please this is so fun to share your passions and seeing everyone’s unique musical interest! dont forget to tag me so i can go back and take a look at your list of top 10 current faves ;)) :$

[buckyscrystalqueen]

I Can’t: Part 2

Pairings: Seb Stan x Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, introvert stuff… angst. IDK I’m bad at this kinda thing. Fluff & swearing as usual.

Word Count: 2,330

A/N: Looks like we got another one shot turned mini-series. Enjoy & Thank @magpiegirl80 for the adorable derp photo of her dog, Ollie & send love to my pups, Lucy and Skye!!!

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took two weeks of denial before you saved his phone number and two weeks more of staring at it at least ten times a day before you got the nerve to even consider texting him back. The process of actually sending that text took at least a month and a half because you knew once you did… you were opening Pandora’s box. 

‘Hi… so I guess I’m your soul…’ *delete*

‘So we’re soulmates… I guess.’ *delete*

‘I’m sorry to break it to you but I can’t…’ *delete*

‘I don’t know what you want from me…’ *delete*

‘I don’t think I can handle being in the spotlight…’ *delete*

‘Hi…’ *Send*

You sat nervously in your spot on the couch in your living room, staring at the iMessage screen on your laptop, regretting hitting send severely. It was only a few moments before the three dots of doom appeared in the bottom left hand corner.

‘Hi, sweetheart. How are you today?’

You couldn’t stop the small smile that pulled at the corner of your lips as you moved your hands from where you were clutching them together under your chin and set them lightly on your laptop as if it were going to burn you for doing so.

‘Scared.’

You responded truthfully. Your head reeled as you tried to come up with just what you wanted to say but the three dots appeared once more before you could.

‘That’s perfectly understandable, (Y/N). It’s an intimidating situation.’

You nodded in agreement as you curled your hands under your chin again and bit your lip while the dots continued.

‘How about we take this slow because trust me, I have just as much anxiety about this as you do.’

You huffed a humorless laugh and shook your head as you wrote your response.

‘I doubt that. Did you stay curled up in your bed for three day watching reruns of Sex and the City?’

The moment you hit send, you wanted to melt into a hole at what you just confessed to Sebastian freaking Stan.

‘You got me there.’ 

‘But I did eat a whole pizza in like an hour if that helps at all.’

You smiled fully and nodded.

‘It does. I turn to Ben and Jerry’s myself.’

‘What’s your go-to flavor?’

You bit you started to actually chew on your lip as you glanced over your computer screen to think for a moment.

‘B&J would be Half Baked but hands down, cookie dough is my favorite.’

‘Cookie dough!!!!! I love cookie dough! But my B&J flavor would be Chunky Monkey. It’s addictive.’

You giggled as you quickly looked up the unfamiliar to you flavor and scrunched your nose at the ingredients listing.

‘Eww walnuts! I can do everything else about that but the walnuts.’

There was a few moments of hesitation before the dots appeared again.

‘I could totally insert a ‘nuts’ joke right now but I’ll refrain out of respect. LOL.’

You giggled at your screen and choose to let your inappropriate side stay hidden for now.

‘I’ll let it slide. But trust me when I say I’m far from appropriate usually. My mom gets on me about it all the time. Especially the amount of times I say ‘fuck’ in a single sentence. I make Negan from Walking Dead look like an alter boy with my mouth.’

Once you hit send, you closed your eyes and groaned.

‘Well it is a very versatile word. I’m a big fan of it’s many forms.’

He responded and you could almost see his smirk in your mind. You couldn’t help yourself with your response.

‘Oh, I bet you do! LMAO’

‘But you’re not alone there, hun.’ 

‘There it is! Hahaha! Ahhh, I love it!’

You smiled and crossed your legs under your laptop on the couch as the three dots appeared once more.

‘Hey, I’m really, really sorry to cut this short but I have a thing here in a few minutes so I have to go.’

Your smile instantly dropped.

‘Oh! Right, famous actor. Right.’

His response was instantaneous. 

‘Hey, I don’t want you to think of me like that, sweetheart. You’ll overwhelm yourself. I’m just a regular guy that has the same fears, anxiety, and hesitation about this situation as you do. Finding your soulmate is a huge, life changing step. But at the end of the day, no matter how much I want this, you still have the option to walk away. I hope you don’t. I really, really hope you give this a chance. But if you look at this with me being famous, I have a gut feeling that you’ll pull away from me before you give us a chance. And I know it’s hard to wrap your head around being in the spot light with anxiety. It’s hard to do anything with anxiety and I get that. But try to stay calm for me, OK? Please, (Y/N)?’

You read through his message twice before nodding your head slowly.

‘OK.’

‘OK. If it’s OK with you, I’m gunna text you later tonight when I get done with my thing. Sound good?’

You nodded again as if he could see you as you wrote out your response.

‘That’s fine. I’ll do my best not to psych myself out too much.’

‘That’s all I can ask from you, sweetheart. I’ll talk to you later.’

You waited a few minutes, staring at your computer screen before looking up at your front door when your mom walked in.

“I texted him.” You said simply as she set her bag down by the front door.

“Good for you.” She responded with a smile as she flopped down on her couch with a sigh after a long day at work. “I’m proud of you for taking that step.” You nodded in agreement as you looked back at your laptop screen and scrolled to the tops of the messages to read them over once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, you’re the luckiest girl in the world.” Your Tumblr friend, Christine said on a Face Time call the next morning. “I’d kill to have a soulmate with that body. I’m just stuck with JP… Oi! Don’t hit!” She said as her fiancé hit her in the back of the head with a pillow.

“It’s just weird.” You said as you glanced over at the horror movie you had on as background noise. “Like, of all the fucking people in the whole world, a freaking actor is my soul mate.” You looked back at her with a shrug. “Like really? I feel like the most unlucky person in history here.”

“Bullshit.” She snapped back. “How are you unlucky?”

“Christine, it’s me! I’m awkward and loud and I say inappropriate shit all the time. How the fucking fuck am I supposed to date an actor, huh? I’d embarrass him right off the edge of the map!”

“Don’t be a dick. He obviously is fuckin’ in to ya if he’s taking time out of his busy schedule ta see how you are. So put your big girl pants on and accept that the famous actor is your soulmate, you lucky cunt and let him get to know you!” A smile pulled at the corner of your lips as you looked away from the screen.

“I’m lucky as fuck, aren’t I?” You asked as you looked back at her. 

“Hell yea you are! So don’t go fuckin’ ruinin’ it by runnin’ around in your head so I can live vicariously through you.”

“Alright, alright!” You conceded. “Sorry UK hubby. I’m divorcing you!” You called out teasingly at JP.

“I want half your shite!” He yelled back causing you and your friend to laugh.

“OK, so now what?” You asked as you made yourself comfortable in your spot and muted the woman screaming on your TV. “What do I do now?”

“Well he said last night ta text him when you got up, right?”

“Yea…”

“Well you’ve been up least an hour since ye actually have clothes on…”

“Shut up.” You laughed but she continued over you.

“So text him. Stay casual…”

“And say what?”

“Say ‘hi’, ya bell end!”

“You’re a horrible friend, do you know that?” You joked.

“I know.” She said with a shrug as she picked up her long haired Jack Russel terrier, Ollie and held him up beside her face. “Do it for Ollie.”

“Rude.” You replied flatly as you waved at her. “Alright, I’ll call you later.” She waved back and said bye as you hung up the video call. You groaned to yourself and leaned back against the back of your seat as you scrubbed the heels of your palms from your hairline down to your chin. “Alright, fine.” You said aloud to your own dogs as you pulled up your iMessage app. “I’ll text him.”

‘Morning’

As you waited for his response, you turned the volume of your movie back on. You watched for a few moments before your laptop ‘dinged’.

‘It’s almost 11. If you are just waking up, I am royally jealous. I’ve been up and at the gym since 5am.’

‘Oh, hell no! I protest for you. The only exercise I do is walking my dogs around the neighborhood and whatever exercise I get at work walking clients up and down hallways.’

You turned down the volume of your laptop so it wouldn’t be annoyingly loud as the three dots popped up again.

‘1) what kind of dogs? And 2) what kinda work?’

You smiled as you grabbed your cell phone off the pillow beside you and pulled up your photos with a smile. You quickly found your favorite photo of your pups sent it to him before going back to type on your laptop.

‘Lucy is the white one. She’s a soft coated Wheaton terrier. Skye is the black one Lucy is sitting on. She’s a rescue so we don’t know exactly what she is but we say she’s a Havanese because that’s what she looks like.’

‘And I’m a CNA which is basically an under appreciated, under paid babysitter for the elderly. I work about thirty hours a week right now. Helps my mom pays bills as best as I can.’

‘OMG those are the cutest damn dogs in the entire world! I’m jealous. I miss being able to have a dog but I travel too much. And good for you on the job. I bet it’s tough to work with the elderly and not get the appreciation other nurses get.’

You nodded in agreement as you responded.

‘It takes a special kinda person to do my job. I hate it so much usually. But when I’m almost at the point where I want to throw my hands up and quit, a client or a family member makes it worth my while again.’

‘Well I’m proud of you, sweetheart. Even if no one else is. I am.’

You smirked at your screen as you took a sip of your coffee and set it down on the table beside you.

‘You have to be. You’re my soulmate, remember?’

‘Hey! I’m trying to be supportive here. You’re killin’ me, Smalls.’

You let out a barked laugh as you found the gif you had saved in a file for Tumblr.

‘For-ev-er.’

You smiled proudly at yourself as Seb responded.

‘I’m crying tears of joy that you got that reference. I’ve said it before and people just looked at me like I was more crazy than I actually am.’

‘I have classic tastes, IDK what to say. I can’t tell you how many times I have referenced ‘classic’ movies on Tumblr for it to just go right over half my followers heads. Like what is this from?’

You pulled up your file of ‘Pics & Gifs’ and scrolled through to find the one you wanted.

‘Well that one’s just too easy. The Big Lebowski, obviously.’

‘Yea for us old folks. Bet your ass 75% of the population under 25 have no idea what movie that’s from.’

‘Well now that’s just… that’s just sad.’

You nodded in agreement and sighed.

‘You have no freaking idea.’

It took a few minutes for him to respond again and you almost forgot you were texting him when he sent you another gif.

‘Name the film.’

You scoffed loudly and shook your head.

‘Really? You’re gunna try to trip me up on a Tarantino flick? He’s one of my faves and that’s ‘Four Rooms’. Try again, Seb.’

The two of you went back and forth for nearly three hours sending the most obscure movie gifs you could find; everything from ‘Airplane’ to ‘BASEketball’. Most of them you had both seen but there where a couple that either you or he hadn’t and Seb said he was starting a lit of movies you both needed to see eventually. Before you knew it, your mom was getting home for her between cases nap and your head whipped up toward the clock.

“Damn, is it really three?” She nodded as your laptop ‘dinged’ with another text.

“Hi Christine.” She said as she set her purse down on the coffee table on her way out to the back porch for a smoke.

“Not Christine.” You responded as you guessed ‘Office Space’ correctly. She stopped by the sliding glass door with her eye brows arched.

“Sebastian?” You smirked and nodded as you sent a gif from ‘Wet Hot American Summer’. “Good for you. I’m proud of you.”

“Stop.” You laughed as you mentally cheered for your soulmate for getting the right answer. “I’m just making a new friend right now. Don’t go ordering wedding invitations.” You looked over at her as she held her hands up in surrender.

“Didn’t say anything.” She claimed on her way out back. “Just glad you’re making friends again.” You grumbled at her to shut up under your breath as you pulled up yet another gif and sent it off to him.

Part 3

[its-love-u-asshole]

The Risks of Devotion [fic]

Pairings: Uraraka Ochako/Bakugou Katsuki

Summary: Bakugou would protect his princess no matter what, wanted to stay by her side no matter what. He just had to admit it to himself. 

Rating: T

Tags: a/b/o dynamics, fluff, a hint of angst tbh, royalty au 

Note: Finally, my last holiday gift is for the lovely @emeraldwaves​ <3 This is my first time writing kacchako and idk how I did, but I wanted to attempt it for you bruh LOL You’re such an amazing friend and I’m so happy we met. I hope you like this! ILU. 

AO3

Bakugou was the kingdom's strongest alpha, no fucking doubt about it. He could best any obstacle, could beat any opponent into the dirt. All his teachers had boasted about him, and rightfully so, saying he was destined to be a palace guard. Protecting royalty, securing wealth and stability for his family, there was no downside to it.

So from the young age of eight, he'd lived, eaten, and breathed the palace air. He'd trained with the kingdom's most promising alphas, and remained at the top of the class all the way up until he came of age.

Yeah, Bakugou had stopped assassination plots, could break another alpha's limbs with one twist of his own arm, but this, this was by far the most stressful thing he’d had to go through. And it was a trial which happened once a week, like clockwork, and he couldn't escape it.

He had to protect his future queen.

"Katsuki, are you mad at me?"

Bakugou's head shot up from where he'd been glaring a hole into the floor, his searing red gaze finding Uraraka's face in an instant. He hated that sometimes, how he always seemed to naturally fixate on her, though the anger had grown from explosive to simmering in the past few years. He wondered sometimes if it was completely gone altogether, but like hell would he let himself admit that.

She was looking at him with wide eyes, bright and innocent, and a little something he chose not to point out. Bakugou never knew how to handle Uraraka when she looked so damn sad. Couldn't she just bottle it all away? Be better with her emotions? It was annoying, for her to sit there all dolled up and have the nerve to look sad.

If she could just be the peppy princess she was supposed to be, it would make this situation a lot easier.

"Huh? Why would I be?" He answered gruffly, doing his best not to shout as he kicked his fancy dress shoe against the wall. He hated those things, hated the dinner parties where he had to wear them. This whole thing was useless. "It's not all about you!"

Except it was.

Bakugou stared at her, took in the frilly pink ball gown which just barely passed her knees. She was probably cold, since she hardly wore anything that didn't include pants or leggings. Her skin shone from the sparkling oils she'd been washed with, and the silver crystals sown into her dress acted like spotlights. They brought out everything about her, from the dips of her collarbones to the blush on her cheeks. Bright, shining, regal.

A princess.

The only thing that gave her away as being anything less than a perfect mate, was the mark on her neck. It was covered by foundation now, the royal dressers had certainly see to that shit. But Bakugou knew it was there, could trace the unseen lines from memory alone. An old bond mark.

What was the fucking use in hiding it? Everyone knew. Everyone talked about it.

Bakugou knew first hand people talked about it, because it was usually him that punched anyone who so much as mentioned it. His hand still stung from when he'd done so the other day, but it was a dull, satisfactory pain.

Bastards. They can all just shut up.

Uraraka hummed, choosing not to say anything. Pisses me off.

Uraraka always fought back. From the time they were kids playing around the palace and throwing rocks at each other, to now. Uraraka annoyingly refused to back down from one of Bakugou's screaming matches.

It was one of the things he...whatever. Didn't matter.

"Are you ready to go yet?" Bakugou asked, tearing his gaze away from the spot on her neck. It still got on his nerves to this day. Almost two years later. That same, possessive urge overcame him. The need to kill.

How dare some second rate, cowardly alpha claim his princess and run off.

"Not really," Uraraka sighed, plopping onto her bed and kicking her feet. They'd made her wear heels today, which he knew she despised. "What's the point? I'm just going to have to talk to a bunch of uninterested alphas. I'm tired of this..."

"Then tell your parents to knock it off," Bakugou muttered, messing with the various daggers on his belt. "Sick of this shit..."

Uraraka shot him that look, the one he hated. Like he was some stupid child and she was scolding him. "You know I can't do that Katsuki. My parents want me to find a mate and be happy. That's...all they want..."

Yeah, great. These so called 'matchmaking' balls were held weekly for the sole purpose of finding the princess, a beautiful omega, an alpha of good character and standing. The kingdom needed future rulers, future heirs to the thrown.

One would think it wouldn't be a hard problem to solve. What alpha didn't want to mate with a princess?

Finding an alpha to love her though, that was another issue. One they'd already failed at. The first alpha who had been considered suitable, ended up being a total fraud. Uraraka had been crushed, and she was left with a mark on her neck to remind her of the debacle. And it would be there until she found a new suitor, which was why they kept up with this mess.

Bakugou despised it.

Uraraka's legs stopped kicking as the heavy silence settled over them, and he could see how close she was to crying. He knew he should just leave and back down before he got in trouble with the chief of the guards for upsetting the princess.

But sometimes it was hard to remember he was supposed to separate his role as a guard, from his one as a childhood friend.

Friend. If he could even be called that. He never liked handing the term out, but it was the only one he had, and they'd been joined at the damn hip for so long...

Stupid. He should've never been a guard.

"Yeah because you seem pretty fuckin' happy doing this," he said with a grunt.

For some reason, he felt like he'd maybe walked into a trap, which only served to anger him more. Uraraka's eyes were still wet with unshed tears, but now she was grinning at him, jumping off the bed to saunter on over. The bells on her dress jingled obnoxiously, giving away the obvious skip in her step.

"I wouldn't have to do it if you'd stop being so stubborn Katsuki," she chided, her voice a sniffling sing song.

No. He didn't want to talk about this.

"I don't know what you mean brat," he growled. "Hurry up and finish your damn hair so we can go already."

But it was getting harder to actually mean any of his words, Uraraka was so close. Her scent had always had that irritating effect on him. It was weirdly intoxicating, like poison, but...obnoxiously sweet. The thing about Uraraka's scent was it was hardly a scent at all. Light, like the air she seemed to float through when she walked, settling easily on his senses. Subtle, like her silent, ballerina like footsteps through the halls.

He stepped forward against his will, and he could feel her breathe against his neck.

"Katsuki," she whispered, gripping his bicep. His muscles were tense, but he let them relax under her grip. "You don't have to be such a hard ass around me you know."

He growled, but didn't object.

They always went down this road, it always came back to the fact she--

"I only want to be with you, that's how it’s always been," Uraraka continued, her voice firm. "If you just asked my father--"

"No! That'll just ruin everything!"

"So you're fine just staying like this?" Uraraka gripped both his arms now, pleading, and he refused to meet her gaze. "Is this really better?"

Bakugou hated not having answers. He always had the right fucking answers. It wasn't like it wasn't uncommon, for non-royal alphas to prove their worth and ask to court noble omegas. But this was the princess, and it just hadn't been done in a long time.

Uraraka's father was a kind, thoughtful king, loved by many. He had also hand selected Bakugou to be Uraraka's personal bodyguard when they'd reached a certain age. After all, they'd been together all their lives. It was expected.

Bakugou didn't want to lose that honor, he didn't want to erase his own expectations for himself. But well, he hadn't expected to feel this way about the princess. Confusing, dangerous feelings, but they overpowered him all the same.

Bakugou glared at the floor, his own thoughts angering him. Uraraka was staring at him, her expression soft, her smile hesitant. She could read him well, he admitted that much. She matched him in strength, in confidence.

There was no better omega, and he deserved the best.

All at once, all their past arguments flashed in his mind, his instinct to mate with his princess. It was an instinct which had been there since his sixteenth birthday. He thought about his anger when Uraraka had selected another alpha, before she'd realized her own feelings. He remembered the rage he'd felt when that alpha had betrayed her.

And more than anything, he remembered how much he hated and dreaded every single ball, hated seeing and hearing alphas flirt with his omega.

He was Bakugou Katsuki. He didn't back down, he went after what he wanted no matter the stakes. Nothing and no one would prevent him from achieving whatever he set his mind to.

"You do want to be with me, don't you?" She asked, hammering the final nail into Bakugou's coffin. She'd never actually explicitly spoken about wanting to be together, it was always underlying, implied. Obvious. Now that the words were actually in the air though, Bakugou's walls had a chip in them, and it was all it took.

"Aren't you supposed to be smart? You should know," he said, a soft 'tch' falling from his lips as he let her fall against him. He inhaled her scent greedily, and he felt her do the same.

And if anyone asked, he certainly did not hug back, but in the dimness of the royal quarters, no one would suspect a thing anyways.

--

One thing Bakugou Katsuki did not do was kneel. So when he took the stance without much objection, Uraraka was more than a little shocked. She probably gasped aloud, which was also probably why Bakugou glared at her, but oh well.

The ball the previous night had yielded no results, as expected. Noble alphas were still as fake and conceited as always, and she wanted nothing to do with them. She never had. The first alpha she took was more out of family obligation than anything else, and she'd learned her lesson from that.

Bakugou Katsuki was and always had been her alpha. All they needed to do was make things official. Which was why they were currently in the throne room, pleading their case to her father.

Another thing she knew about Bakugou, was that he didn't particularly value the art of speech. Words were simple, minimal, only spoken when necessary. The guard was smart, exceptionally so, loud too, but sincere? Well yes, he could be, at least with Uraraka. But with words?

She didn't know.

Turns out Bakugou never failed to surprise her.

"I pledged to be the best royal guard in the kingdom, and I am," he began, his voice unusually calm. It tended to happen when Bakugou held a conviction so strong it couldn't be rivaled. "It's my job to look after the princess, and it always will be. I don't really care what anyone says about it, even you King. I'm just telling you. I'm not leavin' her, and I'll easily fight off any alpha who gets in my way."

Uraraka felt a pleasant shiver course through her, and for a moment, instinct took over. Her mind was clouded with thoughts of Bakugou holding her close, claiming her. It was all she'd been wanting.

But part of her quaked in fear when she glanced at her father, expecting to see anger or shock. After all, not many people would call what Bakugou had just said polite, or even respectful. Bakugou didn't yield to anyone, no matter how powerful.

He was number one, and he believed it whole heartedly. Uraraka smiled, because that meant deep down, he thought she was pretty damn special too. Whether or not anyone else saw that was another story...

However, instead of rage, her father looked...amused, relieved even. The smile on his face was soft, and he shook his head much in the same way he used to do when Uraraka played too rough with the other kids and got into trouble. Even Bakugou looked unsure of what to do with the reaction, watching like a hawk as the king rose from his throne.

"You're not exactly giving me room to argue Bakugou-kun," the king said, looking to the queen with barely concealed joy. "Not that I plan to. It's about time you two sorted everything out."

Uraraka rushed to Bakugou's side, both of them looking like they'd been thrown into a different dimension. Bakugou was glaring at the floor, probably pissed at himself for not being in on the joke.

Uraraka found her voice first, not letting herself believe that things could work out so perfectly all at once. "You mean...you...knew? And it's okay? We can be together?"

Bakugou's head shot up at the words, and he shuffled closer to Uraraka, ready to protect her against any onslaught.

But there was none. Her father just chuckled, sending her a scolding expression. "Did you really think we'd be so harsh Ochako? We want what you want. Whatever makes you happy," he said, and the tears were already forming in her eyes as he continued. "Plus, these balls are getting way too expensive."

Uraraka laughed, letting the tears spill from her eyes, and tackled Bakugou in front of the entire throne room, palace administrators and all.

He may have yelled at her to get off, but he held her tight, pulling her as close as possible.

Judging from the way the entire room let out a collective sigh, she was pretty sure this was long overdue.

--

A few months later, the day before her wedding, Uraraka lounged in Bakugou's arms, letting the summer breeze drift through the room. The old, hateful mark on her neck felt nearly invisible, and she closed her eyes, letting Bakugou's scent wash over her.

[queenandani]

THIS FUCKIN FINALE!!!

So I am just gonna throw all my emotions into this fuckin post because holy shit I have so many.

First off, I just want to say I loved this finale. It took me a moment to realize I did but once I sat back for a minute I realized I loved it. This finale made me laugh, made me cry, made me gasp and made me scream. So much shit happened, I am still processing it.

1.  ALFRED PENNYWORTH DID THAT MOTHER FUCKER NOT PULL ON YOUR HEART STRINGS LIKE HOLY COW!!! I thought it was a lot when he called Bruce his boy two episodes in a row, but DAMN he made me fuckin cry. One of my favorite relationships in this entire show, and in the batman franchise in general, has always been Alfred and Bruce. I have always loved when they give us a time to show us how much Alfred loves Bruce and what he is willing to do for him. The reminiscing was emotional. Alfred telling Bruce about when he first held him and realized that he will protect this boy at all cost, talking about his parents and just reminding Bruce how much he is loved. And Alfred finally straight up said “I LOVE YOU” that hurt me so much. We all know that Alfred loves Bruce and would die for him, but hearing him say it out loud was heart warming. When Bruce stabbed Alfred, that was one of the worst feelings I have ever felt. It took me back when they killed off Sweets in Bones and how I was just praying that he wouldn’t die. For about 2 minutes straight I thought they murdered Alfred for good and if they did I would have shut my television off because I was not going to have two of my favorite characters die in one fuckin episode. Thank you Gotham for the Butler love it was much appreciated!!!

2. Jim and Harvey Aside from Alfred and Bruce, Jim and Harvey is my other fav. These last 3 episodes, really show how much Harvey cares about Jim. He probably asked Jim if he was okay like 30 times. Jim had the virus and he still stuck by his side, even though there was a chance Jim could go off any minute. I love the way the episode ended, Jim was cured and Lee left Gotham (again) but it followed with Harvey taking Jim out for a drink. Showing that no matter what demons and dangers Jim faces, Harvey will always have his back. Keep it up Gotham you are doing great with this bromance!!!

3. Fish Mooney Not even gonna talk about. It sucked. It was terrible. It was un called for. This will be my one “fuck you” to Gotham

4. Jim and Lee Sorry guys… I just… it’s…. I JUST REALLY WANT JIM AND LEE TO BE TOGETHER!!!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKIN ASK!!! I MEAN THE TWO ACTORS ARE MARRIED IN REAL LIFE IS IT THAT HARD???? I am glad though that Lee is no longer mad at Jim. That she did hint in her letter that she would want to be with him again, and that if she stuck around to say goodbye, she wouldnt be able to bring herself to leave. Would it have been difficult for them to just leave it off with them on a clean slate? They didn’t have to get together, but idk what is going on with Morena. I don’t know if she still plans on being in the show or if that was her goodbye. I really hope not. I hope somehow Lee will find her way back to Gotham and her and Jim can start anew.

5. Bruce and Selina Oh these two teenagers. Always fighting. Never on the same page. Look I get where the batcat babies are coming from. Bruce nearly lost Alfred. He is feeling like shit, and Selina, who refused to talk to him for weeks, shows up and wants to know what happened. I get why he would be a little upset. But I also get why Selina did what she did. Selina has been in survival mode ever since she could remember. And in survival mode you don’t have time for feelings. When Selina thought that Bruce was dead, she immediately distanced herself. Because she did not want to feel the pain of loosing him (She was even trying to get money to leave town, probably to just put everything behind her). We all know that Selina does care about Bruce, she is just not that good at showing love, considering that is something that was rarely shown to her. And if Bruce wasn’t in such an emotional state, he’d probably realize that her showing up was her way of showing she cares. Don’t worry, you both will have enough time to sort your shit out when you are in your animal costumes.

6. NYGMOBBLEPOT OKAY I AM SAVING THIS ONE FOR LAST BECAUSE IT WAS THE MOST FUNNIEST!!! After the episode was over, I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that Oswald froze Ed and put him in a fuckin club. Like that has to be… hands down… the most…. extra thing these two have ever done!!! It was awesome because it was something nobody was expecting. It was so entertaining. Also, please tell me I wasn’t the only one who was expecting Ed and Oswald to kiss at that dock scene? I was literally telling myself “oh my god. It’s going to happen. I can’t believe it. Like this? No not like this.” I was kind of shocked when they didn’t kiss.  It is obvious that Oswald still loves Ed. I honestly do believe that at some point, Ed and Oswald will become friends again. I mean the writers said it, these two will forever be drawn to each other. Eventually they will have to end this killing charade and Ed and Oz will have to reach some sort of agreement to just leave each other alone. 

 Between the Butler love, the buddy cop love, the Nygmobblepot angst and batcat finally fulfilling their true destinies, this episode was amazing and I am now, more than ever, looking forward to Season 4.

[commedias]

hello friends !! i am v v tired and emotionally distraught over the fact i was wrongfully terminated today but in more exciting news, this blog has officially turned ONE month old and i hit 200 followers today :-) thus, this calls for my first follow forever. i’ll also be prefacing it with a super cheesy blurb abt how much i love this blog and all of y’all, so buckle your seatbelts and get ready to go !!

when i started this blog, i had no idea i would experience this much joy from writing and interacting with all of you !! i had rp'ed in the past in groups, indie, and 1x1, but this was my first time really entering the krpc, or for those of you don't know korean roleplaying community. i remember using kpop fcs in groups and often being ignored for not using a lot of the mainstream fcs in american pop culture. now that i have this blog, i feel so #blessed to be able to interact with others who use kpop fcs and have high-quality writing as well !! on a more personal note, this blog has really helped me keep in touch with my writing and overall self. writing has always been difficult for me bc i felt like it was so time-consuming (not like i have anything else to do) and obligatory especially within the tumblr community, but all of you have been so patient while i dealt with irl problems such as work and college !! as a result, it really encourages me to try my hardest and push myself as a writer to reply as efficiently as possible. occupying myself like this has kept my mind off of other things going in my life in a way that my own personal writing outside of tumblr couldn't do. it always took me back to the dark place where i was alerady at, a lot of relating to my own personal experiences. now i'm ngl, there's some self-insert here and there with my characters. wooyoung was created to help me sort out my alcoholc tendencies. but the stories themselves take on an entirely new light, your muses helping mine develop into BETTER characters and people overall. being able to create this growth not only encourages me as a writer, but as a person as well. i personally connect with my characters a lot even if they lead different lives than me and care for them as if they were real. even if i'm not always the strongest for myself, knowing that i have my muses, our threads, and a loving community keeps me grounded. i don't rly have many other ppl in my life, so to have the krpc supporting and interacting with me has given me the boost i need. thank you all so much for that. now onto the more fun stuff !!

@chimxrical​: although i touched upon it briefly in my other positivity post, you've helped both me and hongbin grow so much. ours was the first thread to truly grab me and push me beyond the standard threads that die out or don't grow very much. you always replied so quickly and it rly made me excited to see how interested you were in our thread as well. i never expected hongbin to grow to as much as he has thus far, only the construct "sugar daddy politician" in my mind when i first conceived him. he had an icy air as part of his job that i myself even couldn't penetrate through at first without meifen warming up to him. his interactions with her really unveiled to me the more intimate layers of his character, that he had a lot of pain and tenderness going on beyond his work. that he didn't always have to be as tough as his work made him, that it was okay for him to dive into the softer dimensions of his personality. i didn't go into hongbin x meifen with all the details that we know about him know like his schizophrenic mother and his strong notions of justice and making the world a better place. but the more he interacted with meifen, the more insight i began to gain into who he was and how deeply his details connected with me. hongbin and meifen's (and don't forget kyungri's) headcanons have always brought joy to me and i love thinking of how far hongbin and meifen will get together the more that our thread develops. and for you as a mun, you've always been SO patient and supportive. whenever i have questions or just want to share something with you, you welcome me with open arms. you have such a kind heart and it shows through all of your characters. thank you for always being there and your wonderful replies to our threads <3

@cxrrvptvs​: omg where do i begin ?? i love stanning exo with you and internally screaming over all of the angst between taeyong and jinwoo and all the fluff between sunghyun and dohyun. our muses just love each other very much and it's one of the best things that's happened like ?? your replies are always on point and i love all of your muses. you portray them so amazingly and i love it whenever you add a new one !! your threads with other ppl are so fun to read too tho i do kind of side eye like taeyong's jealous ass would but it's all good bc that's how multi-muse shipping works :-) hands down one of my favorite ppl to roleplay with and i can't wait to have a million more threads with you !!

@justlysts​: ahhh what a beautiful child (even tho you're older than me) i know i'm trash at replying to im's and just distance myself from ppl in general, but don't ever think you can't come tell me about your life. i know today you were salty abt those ppl you had to talk to for the concert tickets, but in any other case when u wanna talk lmao !! i don't have a job now so i'll have plenty of time to listen :-) appreciate yourself more bc i love your aesthetic and ur cute hair and korean styles. you have such a cute personality and i love u sending me a million guys to rate. i can tell you're going to go far in life as cliche as that sounds and i'm down to support you in whatever you decide to do.

@sekairph​: we've only known each other for a short time but we already fangirl over exo and wooyoung x kiara together and it's so wonderful. i love how much work you put into tumblr from your replies to your resources as a rph and your content is always on point !! i remember when u first messaged me and called me out for how much i reblog you like i honestly didn't even know i was reblogging all of it from you i'm just exo trash rip. your writing is so good and i love hearing insight on kiara with each reply, not strictly limiting into dialogue. our characters have sm natural chemistry and the plot we selected was so bomb like ?? you're so sweet and i wish you all the best and that you'll dream sweet dreams of sehun the next time you sleep. i can't wait to plot more in the future and see where kiara and wooyoung go !! his personality has really started to take more shape around her since i rly didn't know what i was doing with him at first lmao and it's helped me so much with his character so thank you for that :-)

@paidsoul​: honestly the realest person out here in this blue hell. even tho tumblr is a sensitive place, i appreciate how honest and firm you are in your convictions and don't make up bs excuses to get out of uncomfortable situations. idk i'm not articulating this the best, but i like how upfront you are rather than following the typical tumblr etiquette of "oh sorry love ahaha :-)!" and shit like that, ya feel ?? your muses' backstories always run me over with a bulldozer but like they're so good and well-thought out ?? like your angst has reasoning behind it rather than the tortured artist with no parents who gets drunk and paints a tree and thinks he's a fuckin rembrandt smh... ANYWAYS thank you for all the inspiration (sounds cliche, i guess life advice) you've given me and i'll take it to heart since someone needs to get thru to my problematic ass. i can't wait to get know you more as a person and also interact thru our threads and have lots of angst together !! also thanks for getting me into the supernatural vibe like fuck i love yanny so much already and deadass i'll probably add more spn muses in the future like a mermaid lmao or MAYBE a demon so i can have heart-wrenching backstories like you (tho i mean my human muses have some angst too like sunghyun and his dead mother) and make myself and partners in threads emotionally distraught.

@sxvrn​: okay side note i could have SWORE in our messages u told me your new url was supposed to be like based off 'salvation' but that the original url u thought of started a v or something and looked nothing like salvation lmao bc that's how i feel rn abt your url like i had to copy and paste it but i'm just HAPPY i found your new blog bc i never wanna lose our threads </3 continuing on that tho, i don't see it in my messages now tho and i checked both on mobile and the computer and all it says that you were worried abt changing it bc ppl might not find you but nothing's showing up about the salvation thing so i'm like mandela effect ?? ANYWAYS i'm happy i found your new blog so i could tag you in this (not so) little thing. i live for youngjae's problematic ass messing with sweet lil minsoo, as i've said at least a billion times before. a lot of this would probably be rehashing what i said in my last positivity post about you but idk you're just great ?? like bless you for not sleeping on kim minseok and keeping kuhn as a muse you are a good human being. whenever you post a starter in the tags, i'm always lurking on it like even before we starting talking ooc i kept reading them and thinking who is this amazingly creative person ?? i can't wait to see how your new blog and muses unfolds and i hope that you got over your case of writer's block !!

@grcviity​: i used to think snap threads were boring and then you happened and i'm obsessed now *exo voice* someone call the doctor. thank you for your quality snaps and using kihyun monsta x is gonna rise one of these days i tell you. i'm curious to see how our characters interact outside of snap lmao, but i'm sure it will be just as good, if not better. your muses are so god damn cute and so are you <3

@stcrgirls​: ayyy your personality is just so fun and so is yeuna tbh !! your replies are always a joy to read and kihyun and yeuna hit home with those feels omg. thanks for letting me tell u abt my college orientation and the lyft driver who i got into ko ko bop !! keep reppin' us pinays, girl, and btw that reminds me you're so pretty like who are you omg ?? your munday selfies were on point i was like damn girl you're mestizo. both pretty inside and out, i wish you all the best and can't wait to see how our threads grow together !!

ok so we're not here all night, here's some other lil cuties i wanted to give a shout-out to: @quietuptownx, @powerpuffs, @licnhrts, @mujehan,​ @ofwildblossoms, @dearcherryblossoms, @liquoidtears, @pxlimpsest, @rosevined, @niqhtowls, @slideivy, @realizcation, @bcrmuda, @likewinter, @honeyedsins, @shrinemade, @findmexsaveme, @flxrvl, @lawsqwad, @landrogynous, @blazedfires, @pvxilatc, @cacotheisms, @pinkbvbblegvm, @simpaticos, @tearedrops, @undersunrise, @lustrcvs, @fckxillusion, @fckfanxychild,

thank you once again to EVERYONE who made this possible, who continually supported me and waited for my turtle speed replies. thank you to mutuals who i don't talk to yet, but would love to. and even if i haven't followed you back, thank you a million times over. seeing my blog grow has gotten me so excited and given me some of my kick back in life (lmao i'm sixteen for god's sake not like my life's ending already) both as a writer as a person. honestly you all are the best for putting up with all of my exo spam and mun rants. thank you for all of the ask memes and love y'all send me regularly it means the world to me. i can't wait to see where this blog goes and meet even more friends :-)

[knucklepuckle]

everything has been terrible. i feel like my parents don't love me, one of my best friends is gone, i hate the way my body looks, and i feel like life is just going to get shittier from here and i can do nothing about it. i can't stop thinking about cutting myself too. the only reason i'm just a little happy is because of my 2 other friends and because i still love my family. im so low right now. i really want to be happy again but idk how, please help. and i hope you and roope are alright.

me and roope are doing pretty fanfuckintastic- thanks for expressin concern, my dood :)

for starters, the key word here is feel. you feel like your parents don’t love you, but i promise you if you just go to them and express your concerns, they will listen, and they will be there for you. it’s easy to isolate yourself and put yourself into a little box thinking no one cares because no one is bothering to open it, but the truth is, they just don’t know how to go about telling you that they’re worried. parents know that all teenagers go through the angst and “i hate everything/everyone” phase because they went through that too, so they think that this isolation is normal. you need to let them know that this isn’t the norm. have a little faith in your parents by opening up to them. i promise you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

as for your best friend being gone, that’s just life. it’s reality. i know it’s hard to accept and all you want is for things to stay the same, but you need these bad moments in order to be able to grow as a person. remember, a smooth sea never made a sailor skillful. build new relationships with those around you. be brave for 2 seconds and start a conversation with someone you want to get to know whether it be online or in real life. find passions. go out there and do shit in the world to find out what it is that makes you feel alive. find yourself.

now, body positivity is not easy. something i wish someone would have told me is that recovery is not linear; it is gradually changing. the same goes for self-love. i used to fuckin hate everything about the way i look. i thought my nose was huge and that i was unbelievably fat for having big thighs and a not-so-flat stomach. however, i realized that fat isn’t a bad thing, and it’s simply an adjective used to describe bodies which, need i remind you, makes no sense to be offended over because all bodies are beautiful. stop looking for affirmation in your looks. the moment i realized i’m fucking dope is the moment i realized i loved myself for being funny, smart, and genuine. realize that your outer appearance isn’t equivalent to what’s inside and start building yourself up persona-wise. start looking in the mirror and realizing that not everyone looks the same. stop thinking you need to be thinner or bigger. even if you feel like you’re lying to yourself, tell yourself you love what you see every morning in the mirror until it feels like the truth. 

now, as for life being shittier, let me tell you a thing. i hated my life ever since i was 8. i was in and out of counseling offices, constantly surrounded by screaming and hatred, physically beaten down, etc. life only got worse as i grew up and my life became black eyes, court cases, drug abuse, and more. actually, before i left the u.s, me and my mom slept on a twin sized mattress for 5 months on the floor and jumped around from couch to couch. we slept outside on the street and didn’t have enough money for anything other than mcdonald’s one night. i constantly wondered if anything was going to change, and when i was in dubai, i was miserable. the only thing that made me happy was youtube. i never thought things would ever get ok if not good, but here i am. 9 years later. im the happiest motherfucker in the entire damn world. i dont even have much- i have just enough money to get by and pay for my apartment, friends who love me with every ounce of their heart, and a family that’s finally fixed after years of being broken. i’m sober. i’m laughing everyday. and maybe i don’t have much, but it feels like i have the entire damn world in front of me. you wrote this message to me meaning part of you cares. part of you wants this to end, and part of you thinks the answer to ending this pain is going to be within this responce. i’m sitting here telling you that i can’t answer you when you ask how to be happy again because you will never be happy the same way you used to be. but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happier. after all, i hope to god i’m never happy the way i used to be because while i was alive back then, right now i’m fucking living

[the--walking--daryl]

Bail (pre-apocalypse!DarylxReader)

Hi guys! Since I’m so ridiculously obsessed with the idea of young Daryl before the apocalypse, I’ve made yet another pre-apocalypse!Daryl fic where he’s once again up to no good. I think I might make this into an AU series, but idk. Let me know what you guys think!

Characters- teenage!Reader, teenage!Daryl Dixon, and Merle Dixon.

REMINDER: REQUESTS ARE OPEN FOR ALL TWD CHARACTERS!!

Summary:

When Merle takes Daryl out with the intention to cause trouble, the two get caught, but Merle gets away and Daryl gets thrown in a jail cell. Not wanting to get his brother in trouble, he takes the blame. He doesn’t want his father to bail him out as he knows that he isn’t getting home without a beating, so the only choice he has is to get his girlfriend Y/N to bail him out. Y/N is ridiculously angry, as this isn’t the first time that Merle has gotten Daryl into trouble and Daryl has just rolled over to protect him once again. 

Warnings- strong language, fluff, angst, a little bit of violence.

and also sorry Merle stans, but I made him kind of an asshole in this, but don’t worry, it’s all for the purpose of the plot and the Daryl feels

Enjoy!

*NOT MY GIF*

“Who am I calling, son? Your parents?”

“No… no, God no.”

“You need to get someone to come and get you. You got a friend that drives? A girlfriend?”

“Yeah, my girlfriend drives. Fuck, I didn’t want her to find out.”

I sit behind my steering wheel and attempt to process the events about to take place without letting out another aggravated sigh. This is the third time this has happened. The third damn time. The third time Merle’s dragged Daryl on one of his little adventures. One of the adventures where Merle’s slipped away like he always fucking does and Daryl’s thrown under the bus. Lucky for Daryl, the couple that Merle pissed off don’t want to press charges, but it’s starting to get borderline ridiculous. I throw my head back against the headrest and prepare to walk into the station, sign forms, and have the ‘last warning’ talk with the Sheriff, all the while worrying about the state that Daryl is in.

Once I’ve mustered up the energy, I get out of the car, head to the police station, and approach a slightly rotund officer with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand.

“Hi, I’m here to bail out my boyfriend?”

“Who you bailin’?”

“Daryl Dixon.”

“You Y/N?” The cop asks.

“Unfortunately.” I sigh, earning a small chuckle from the cop.

“Okay, well I’m Officer Daniels, and I’ve been the one babysittin’ Daryl. Now, the couple decided not to press charges, but they do want Mr Dixon to supply some financial aid to pay for the damage.” Officer Daniels informs me.

“Better than the alternative, I guess.” I sigh.

“I’ll grab him. You okay to fill out some paperwork?”

“Do I have a choice?” I laugh in exasperation while I rub my eyes exhaustedly.

Officer Daniels points me to the front desk, where I ask a woman called Debbie for all of the correct forms. I tick all of the right boxes and answer the right questions, eventually coming to the matter of paying bail.

Officer Daniels returns with a beat up, tired looking Daryl, who refuses to look my in the eye. I take my wallet and the keys out of my bag and slam the keys down on the desk in front of Daryl.

“Get in the car.” I snap.

“Y/N, don’t be-”

“Get in the fucking car, Daryl.” I sigh, cutting him off.

He drags the keys off the desk and sulks off to the car while I hand the payment over to Debbie.

“You’re a good person for doin’ this, y’know. Kid needs some good people there for him, his brother and his father are shitheads, but Daryl’s got a good heart. But because we’ve had him in here three times, he’s on his-”

“Last warning, I know.” I interrupt Officer Daniels to save myself the long lecture about how I need to keep him on a tight leash.

“Daryl’s great. But I don’t ever want to see him in here again and you can make sure he knows that.” Officer Daniels raises his eyebrows in an authoritative manner.

I nod at his instructions, say my goodbyes and head back out to my car. Daryl and I sit in silence for what feels like eternal moments before I angrily slap the steering wheel out of frustration.

“Goddamn it, Daryl!” I yell.

“Hey, we both know this ain’t my fault!” He argues back.

“Well then go tell them that!” I plead.

Daryl rolls his eyes and scoffs, relaxing back in his seat.

“Y’know I can’t do that.” He mutters.

“Fine, I’ll go in and tell them my damn self.”

Before I have the chance to even open the door, Daryl has a gentle hold on my wrist which causes me to look back into his desperate and pleading eyes.

“Don’t. Please.”

I let out a tired sigh and lean my head against the wheel.

“I’m sick and tired of your brother fuckin’ you over like this, Baby. You can’t just keep doing these things with him, because one day you’re going to be the one behind bars. Not him.” I say wistfully.

Suddenly, I feel a hand tenderly rubbing my back as I sulk into the car.

“I’m sorry. I really am. It’s just.. I either head out with Merle or stay at home with my ol’ man. I’d rather be locked in a jail cell that get another black eye, Darlin’.” Daryl gloomily explains.

I lean back and stressfully run my hands through my hair, letting out a deep sigh. 

“Come on. We’re going back to my place. My parents aren’t back until next week, so you’re stayin’ with me, I ain’t lettin’ you go back to that hellhole.” I tell him as I put the key in the ignition.

I look back at him notice him grinning gratefully. He reaches his hand to my cheek and pulls my lips into his.

“I love you, Angel.” He whispers.

“I love you too, Baby.” I smile.

On the drive back home, Daryl keeps his hand placed protectively on my thigh, repetitively and lovingly grazing the denim of my jeans with his thumb. However, we soon come to a stop when we notice Merle on the side on the road.

“Daryl, no!” I whine.

“Come on, Y/N, he’s my brother! Can’t just leave him.” Daryl tells me while he gets out of the car so I can’t object any further.

I shortly follow, wanting to see if Daryl will actually will actually confront his brother for once.

“That was wild, brother! We need to go again!” Merle exclaims with a shit-eating grin plastered all over his face, causing me to roll my eyes.

I look to Daryl with my eyebrows knitted together in concern and I see that he so desperately wants to tell his brother what he’s gone through tonight.

“Not tonight, Merle. I’m heading back to Y/N’s place, I need to get some sleep.”

“You fuckin’ kidding me!?” Merle exclaims. “She has you that whipped!?” He cackles, looking me up and down, making me ridiculously uncomfortable.

“Hey, shut up man.” Daryl meekly argues.

Merle, who’s clearly drunk, steps towards me as he observes my body for even longer, but is soon blocked my Daryl.

“What’s your deal tonight, man? Why you bein’ such a pussy?” Merle scowls.

I let out a loud, exasperated scoff at his arrogant, slurred words, catching Merle’s attention and clearly pissing him off.

“You got something to say!?” He drunkenly shouts, stalking around Daryl to stand in front of me in a confrontational fashion.

“You’re a real dick, you know that?” I growl.

“Y/N!” Daryl exclaims.

“No! No, I’m not going to let him be such an asshole to you anymore!” I exclaim to Daryl, but soon turning back to Merle. “Do you know where he’s been tonight?” I point at Daryl. “In a damn jail cell, because of you! When you ran off, he was the one to take the heat for all of your shit! Again!” I angrily defend Daryl.

“Not my problem if he’s too slow”

Daryl shoves his hands in his pockets and awkwardly glances at his surroundings.

“Do you have zero regard for your own flesh and blood? When are you going to own up for your crap, Merle?” I glare at the irresponsible brother.

“Don’t have to if he’s the one gettin’ caught.” Merle smirks cockily, but that smirk is soon wiped off his face when I lunge for him. I manage to scratch below his right eye before Daryl catches me and pulls me back fore I can do anymore damage.

“Crazy bitch!” Merle screams, cradling his cheek.

“You’re a piece of shit, Merle Dixon!” I yell back, still trying to fight against Daryl’s hold. I eventually calm down and go lean on the hood of the car.

“Daryl, we’re goin’.” Merle instructs.

“Good one.” I comment sarcastically.

“I’m bein’ damn fuckin’ serious. Daryl, come on.”

I turn to Daryl, who looks more conflicted than I’ve ever seen him.

“Daryl?” I say softly, my demeanor completely calming.

He looks between the two of us in panic, not knowing who to side with, knowing that if he goes with one, the other will be pissed. I swallow my pride and run by forehead stressfully.

“Go with your brother.” I sigh.

His eyes fall on me, a look of relief ghosting across his face. It’s the first time he’s had a choice in a long time.

“You gonna be okay?” He asks, walking over to the hood and standing in front of me.

“I mean, I’ll worry like hell, but it’s your choice and I’ll be okay with whatever you choose to do. Just promise me one thing?”

“Anythin’.”

“I don’t want another phone call from the police. He tries anything, you walk away. Find the nearest payphone and you call me. I’ll pick you up wherever you are.” I plead, taking hold of his hands.

He rests his forehead against mine and lets out a shaky breath, as if he’s pondering my proposal.

“I ain’t promising that.” He says bluntly, looking up again.

“Excuse me?” I raise my eyebrows questioningly.

“Merle, walk home, sober up and go to bed. I’ll see you next week. Goin’ with my girl.” Daryl announces as he gets into the car.

A smile creeps over my lips as I watch steam blow out of Merle’s ears, because he knows that this is the first time he hasn’t been able to manipulate his brother and knows damn well it won’t be the last.

“You’re comin’ between family, y’know that, ya little whore?” Merle snarls at me.

“Since when do you care about family, Merle?” I sigh, also getting in the car and driving back to my house.

After our long ass night, Daryl and I finally walk through my door at the early hours of 4:19 am. As I lock up, Daryl dives onto the couch and wraps a blanket around his beat-up and bruised form.

“The hell do you think you’re doin’?” I chuckle.

“Crashin’.” He shrugs.

“Down here?” I ask.

“Why, you want me to keep you company?” He winks.

“Well, you seem comfortable, so you can join me up stairs…” I peel my jacket off, slowly expose my skin, inches at a time. “Or you can stay where you are.” I smirk, throwing my jacket over him and heading upstairs.

“Fuck, you kill me!” He yells, laughing.

“That’s the intention!” I shout back.

I jump on my bed and wait for a few moments until I hear rapid footsteps scaling up my staircase, followed by a sheepish Daryl pocking his head through my door.

“Can I help you?” I raise an eyebrow and repress a smile, propping myself up on my elbows.

“Maybe…”

He strolls over to my bed and leaps next to me, making himself comfortable among the white cotton sheets.

“Damn, this is probably the most comfortable bed I ever sat on.” He chuckles in his southern drawl.

I lay on my back again and stair at the ceiling with one arm supporting my head and the other draped lazily across my torso. Suddenly, Daryl nuzzles into my neck, planting gentle, feather-like kisses along my collar bone while his fingers play with the hem of my sweater.

“Hey Daryl?” I whisper.

“Mhmm?” He hums in reply as his lips make their way down my throat, occasionally stopping at and focusing on certain points what he knows make my whole body weak.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Princess.”

The blinding Atlanta sun soaks through my drapes and illuminates a small streak of my bedroom that stretches across mine and Daryl’s intertwined bodies. I open my heavy eyes and flinch at the harsh light entering to room, not realizing how bright it is. I gingerly lift Daryl’s arm to cover my eyes in order to block the sunlight, but the slightest movement disturbs him.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” I whisper.

“Nah, nah I needed to wake up anyways.” He croaks, his morning voice forcing to bite my lip at how ludicrously sexy he sounds. 

“You sleep okay?” I ask as he sleepily rubs his eyes.

“After the night we had? Best sleep ever.” Daryl laughs.

“You mean before we got home or what followed after we did?” I smirk, gently drawing patterns on his chest with my fingers.

“Little bit of both.” He giggles.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.” He replies.

“Why didn’t you go with Merle last night?”

“Two reasons. One, I knew that he was going to do some stupid shit that got me into trouble. Again. Two, you gave me the freedom to… choose. I knew you wouldn’t be so petty that you’d get mad if I went with Merle and you were just bein’ so calm about it and I just… I weren’t panicking no more. Because you kept me grounded.” Daryl explains sweetly.

“Daryl Dixon, you’re a fuckin’ angel, y’know that?” I smile.

He blushes a little and looks around in embarrassment, clearly trying to think of something to say, but he’s not able to find the words. I rest my head under his chin, closing what little space we had between us. He picks up on what I’m doing and tightly wraps his arms around me. 

“Don’t know what I’d do without you, y’know.” He sighs.

“You’d probably still be in that jail cell.” I chuckle slightly.

“True.”

We stay entangled for a few more moments until there’s a knock at my door, startling the both of us.

We both groan in annoyance and I drag myself out of bed to throw on some clothes.

“Tell them to fuck off.” Daryl complains.

“You know I can’t do that,” I laugh. “Back in a sec.”

I jog downstairs, rubbing my face and stretching to wake myself up.

I open the door, but the two faces that appear before me surprise me to my core.

“Rick? Shane?”