#idk they're both complicated
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The marites in him is quaking
Morning doodles 🥭
#hetalia#hws philippines#HFNSKAKALA#my mango man bb#HE KINDA LOOKS LIKE ALFRED AT FIRST DHAKAOQKSBFJIWJWJ#but then again my headcanon for him is he's a grudging fanboi 4 eagle man#idk they're both complicated
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Finally got a fancy(tm) pic of my aquarium - think I figured out the solution to awful photos is just I have to do them at night because the hugeass window in my room directly adjacent ruins everything. Going to try and take a pic like this weekly to track growth!
Anyway it's looking close? Closeish? to being cycled so the question is: WHAT COLOUR SHRIMP
#kerytalk#fish nonsense#planted tank#aquablr#fishblr#cherry shrimp or neocaridina is what I'm looking for#I just don't think I'd like reds. Or yellow#also rip I found the underground shrimp trading groups (complicated) and went from not finding any Caridina to so many#DO NOT TEMPT ME! I KNOW THEY'RE MORE SENSITIVE#they look bomb af tho rip#I do prefer them over Neos#idk how close is close but ammonia is 0.2 nitrites 0.0 and nitrates 20ppm#been sitting at that for a hot minute tho so not sure what's happening#dosing with bacteria and a fertiliser (both seachem) daily#things I've read saying as long as I have nitrates it means something is being converted so yay? it's def not in our tap water I tested
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I cannot stress enough how MINOR of a petpeeve this is and how this is an interpretation that i'm comfortable with other people having even if i personally do not but I've noticed in a lot of 3zun fics, if jgy is holding smth back- generally his own feelings because his natural reaction to conflict is to make it Go Away and so if his emotional needs are the potential source conflict he will simply Not Look At Them.- That between nielan Xichen is the one who's worried and presses for comunication and Mingjue is like "Meng Yao is an adult if there was a problem he'd say so."
And I get why this is done, because nieyao's communication is generally atrocious and Xichen is the Gentle One who'd want to make sure a-yao is okay. So I get it. But. Canonically. The person going "I know a-yao, we trust each other, I don't need to ask him, he'll tell me on his own terms." is Lan Xichen and the one going "If Meng Yao doesn't want me to know something he WILL hide it from me and i'll have no idea because he's just that good at lying" is Nie Mingjue. And in a healthier nieyao dynamic, as these fics work under, that knowledge would not lead to automatic distrust but rather a desire to check in, to go: please remember that I value your honesty more than whatever you think you would burden me with by telling me what's going on.
Xichen also wants honesty and open communication ofc but his reaction to conflict is also to make it go away as fast as possible and he feels like saying it constantly feels accusatory so he wouldn't. If he asks if something is ok and a-yao smiles and goes of course er-ge checking again if it's really okay would be implying he was lying the first time!! He's showing his trust in him!! This is really refreshing if you're constantly assumed to be untrustworthy and meng yao appreciates it so much and it works really well 95% of the time but when it doesn't? Oh boy.
#examples of where that goes wrong *points at canon*#mdzs#3zun#nie mingjue#lan xichen#meng yao#jin guangyao#nieyao's communication is bad because they're going 'i CAN'T figure you out and so there's no point in trying'#and not because they think they understand the other perfectly#that's xiyao#who fall into this trap because they DO actually know each other better than almost everyone else#and so are completely blind to the few things they don't get about e/o#nielan can also do this#but it's more complicated cause i feel like they consciously DECIDE not to know each other sometimes#because they hold responsibilities to other people they must prioritize over each other. like so much canon nielan is wrapped up in duty#but idk exactly how that would translate if they did make the conscious decision to prioritize their relationship#and this post is about the yao-corner of the triangle and how they both interact with him so. will reserve those thoughts for another time
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Honestly I really want to be able to side with Solas in dreadwolf. I think it'd be super interesting to play as an elf in Tevinter and be able to just go "yeah actually I think Fen'Harel is right let's tear down that veil." I mean I assume the main conflict will be Solas trying to convince your character to join him, or your character being told they have to try and stop him, and there are not enough games that let you side with the presented "villain" character. I want to see what the world is like with no veil I'm so interested. Also so interested to see what full-on Fen'Harel Solas is like. Is he still as empathetic? Or is he more conniving and distanced from "mortals" like the old stories would have us believe?
#side note it's been a hot minute since I've played trespasser I've been obsessed with origins and anders and justice recently ok#i don't have super high hopes cause bioware sucks ass#Idk if they'll have the balls to introduce the player to that level of moral nuance#i just think it would be fun and cool to have some choices on the final outcome#*with the main villain character I should say#instead of 'player character who is awesome hero defeats evil mean bad guy'#i feel like the past games have always tried to paint a very clear target of who the 'bad guy' is#when in reality that's rarely ever so simple#i want a story that lets you decide if you actually think the bad guy is bad or not#and then lets you choose what to do about it instead of directing you to kill this one guy to save the day yknow?#and I think this would be a wonderful opportunity to explore that#and I mean we did get this is 2 if I'm honest#there's not really a singlular villain#you can choose if you think the mages or the Templars are right and side with one or the other#dragon age dreadwolf#fen'harel#solas dragon age#i just like complications in stories that make decisions very hard#make solas the players friend or something again make him seem like a person and not an evil mage entity bent on killing everyone#maybe I'm just tired of how often the writers have done moral gymnastics and tried to swap it around#to make it seem like actually the mages should all be locked away and treated like shit cause they're all egotistical maniacs#and that the Templar/mage issue is a both sides have a point thing when it is clearly not#maybe I just want them to direct us towards taking the side of the oppressed instead of the oppressors for once#Hope you enjoyed my longish rant I hide in the tags as usual
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That different people can engage with the same piece of media and come out of it with wildly different interpretations is a testament to the evolutionary miracle that is the human brain. It is also very annoying.
#but i'm gonna mind my own business.#like the point of saw and luthen's characters TO ME isn't 'Both Sides Bad' it's 'revolution is ugly beyond belief and#if you make it out alive it won't be with clean hands EVEN IF your cause is just and the alternative (fascism) is unbearable.#i think the audience is meant to be disturbed by their accelerationist tactics we are meant to think about whether the ends really justify#the means we are meant to think about whether 'good' is something you believe or something you do or something in between.#we as the audience of a prequel series also have the benefit of near-omniscience bc WE know that while saw and luthen are poking the bear#and playing with human lives like they're chess pieces the empire is actively building a weapon capable of blowing up entire planets#and mass-murdering billions which they will later use without hesitation. saw and luthen DON'T know that which complicates things further.#collapsing all that nuance and reducing it to Both Sides Bad is. well. reductive. but like i said i'm gonna mind my own business (lying).#btw i say all of this as someone who studied real-life parallels of these kinds of things extensively in school and had to stop because#i was too much of a kumbaya pacifist and it quite literally drove me insane.#so if anybody came out of that show saying Both Sides Bad it should've been me. and yet. like idk man at the end of the day#there is a difference between a rebellion using violence to claw back an imperfect democracy and a brutally repressive empire.#sorry i promise i'll stop talking about this show someday but ummm that day is not today. apparently.
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i think that while micro labels can seem useful and affirming ultimately they're isolating and kind of an obstacle to your understanding of self. that's because you can never find a word specific enough. there will never be a label or two labels or even ten, twenty of them to perfectly capture and describe all of your thoughts, feelings, experiences, preferences, needs, interests, identities, etc. because you learn more and more about yourself every day and then you change and your wants and needs change with you. having to hop between labels, fearing that you don't 'fit' into a label anymore (both in your own and others eyes), worrying how soon your current label will wear out, questioning if you'll ever fully fit a single one. all that causes a lot of uncertainty and anxiety which could be avoided by just picking a more general thing and molding it according to what it means to YOU. because words will always mean different things to different people, you will never be understood immediately and maybe never completely by anyone but yourself and that's fine
#another thing is that micro labels often feel like they fracture the community unnecessarily#idk how many times i've seen fighting over hyperspecific ace labels and what they mean and if people described in them even belong#and honestly i think this discourse wouldn't be so vile and neverending if people accepted the idea of falling under general umbrella#and accepted that you can't describe complicated weird and wonderful act of human existence with a couple of words#you don't need to explain yourself to anyone#i know in our present pronouns/sexuality/gender in bio carrd era it feels like you have to but you really don't#people aren't entitled to a short summary of your inner world and you can't speed run connection#also feel the need to say: i have nothing against people who use micro labels#if you feel like your micro label describes you perfectly? i'm really glad and happy for you#i'm just expressing my own thoughts and feelings that come from personal experience with exploring these things#at some point i started doubting if i could call myself a lesbian#i thought oh i'm not exactly what a lot of people generally think of when they hear that word#oh they'll misunderstand and i'm not being my 'true self' i'll find a word that fits me exactly if i just keep looking#and then i found out being aroace is a thing and boy did that add a lot of anxiety and confusion to the pot#i didn't feel like i fit in with both communities wasn't lesbian enough wasn't aroace enough#but at some point i just got tired of trying to justify myself to others and to myself#identities aren't houses you live in they're more like seas or rivers flowing into one another#and spaces where they intersect are vague and hard to define and they shift and change and this metaphor is getting away from me#basically#words are complicated#but they're the only direct way we humans can communicate#it is what it is#so make art#a lot of it#oh also unrelated but if you ever tell older queer folks that they're using wrong words to describe themselves i am going to jump you
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Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.
But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).
And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like
Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?
I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.
Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.
And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#this is only like tangentially related to pharma honestly#not to compare blorbos to real life but like. it reminds me of this phenomenon where privileged ppl in privileged countries#will tell ppl living in zones of war and strife 'oh well if you don't like your gov so bad just revolt against them'#like oh yes tell me how easy it is to stand up against the threats of torture and death#surely the only reason people would want to avoid that is bc they're cowards or don't want to stand up for their beliefs#contrary to what nationalism would have ppl believe. 'wanting to not die' isn't a moral position#everyone wants to live. no one wants to die. it doesnt make you a bad person to be scared of dying#esp (going back to blorbo's) in a situation like pharma's where every option he had ended in death#the death of his patients or the death of everyone at delphi or his death personally#on top of the fact he's a noncombatant who hasn't been desensitized to violence/risking his own life#and is dealing with a trained group of killers that he can't possibly match on physical terms#so yeah actually i don't blame pharma for what he did#he made shitty decisions in a shitty situation but was ultimately a victim#also if you want to view the blackmail deal from a framework of abuse#it is also fucked up to basically tell someone they werent brave enough to just kill their accuser or ask for help#isnt the entire point of such situations that the victim is both powerless to stop the abuse#and too afraid of asking for help/thinks they cant ask for help. and thats why they dont just get out#idk sometimes the best moral judgement is to forgive someone or view it as 'complicated'#sometimes regardless of the good or evilness of their actions the best choice is to not make a judgement#or to err in favor of a forgiving/'i cant speak for your experience' judgement#anyways the fact is that the rosy fantasy of being a brave noble soldier who sacrifices for the cause#rarely stands up to reality where youre just terrified and powerless and dont know what to do#and suddenly the rosy glow of The Noble Cause isnt comforting in the prospect of horrible torturous death
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I’m here to bother you again!!!
You don’t have to if you don’t want to but maybe dark ship bingo with timjay or brudick????
hELLO i love being bothered by you this is delightful omg thank you, i would love to
Here is JayTim, I can't believe I only got one bingo for them. Ironically I genuinely don't view Jason and Tim as family, even when I'm not shipping them, I think they're tentative allies at best and you can only brother-ify them if you're doing very generously OOC fluff, a la WFA-style. They're absolutely toxic and codependent on each other's existence, Tim wouldn't exist without Jason and Jason is Undeniably Weird about Tim, but not brothers so I can't check off the familial squares. Also, I have no idea if I've been blocked by 10+ people, but it'd be funny if I am. And funnily enough, I don't think Tim or Jason are vanilla in any capacity even when they're not fucking. Especially not Tim, that boy is Certified Weird.
and ofc BruDick I nearly blacked out the whole board because they absolutely are weird and unwell. Some of these only apply to certain AUs of BruDick (like an idea I have rattling in my skull rn with Talon!Dick) but most of it applies to them all the time. I really need to write some fucked up BruDick, it's tragic I haven't yet. Right now the two fics I'm working on are a weird JayDick and a more fluffy DamiDick, but I have Plans™ for BruDick too. They are the OG and deserve their flowers for being the most toxic mess you've ever seen.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#jaytim#brudick#i loved this so dearly ty your asks mean everything to me <3#so do your tags on my posts you reblog i love your thoughts you Get It™#when i say timjay isn't brotherly i am mostly referencing pre-flashpoint but i don't think they're familial in the new-52 or rebirth either#i haven't read a *ton* of rebirth but knight terrors: robin was *not* brotherly and idk why ppl try to read it like that#shipping brain aside i think they can like each other in canon. get along be friends. if dc actually tried to put work into developing that#but it's not brotherly. they may both view dick as a brother. but that axis point doesn't make *them* siblings and I'll die on that hill#brudick is far more complciated because they're father/son/brothers/mentor/mentee/rivals/friends all at once#it entirely depends the comic#but i don't enjoy them as a nuclear father/son either and i think making their relationship that destroys nuance#*especially* if we're talking early pre-flashpoint or pre-crisis#it's not devoid of fatherly love but it's not defined by fatherly love either#they're complicated little guys who are barely on speaking terms half the time <3#you can tell when i get passionate about something bc my typing style changes entirely.#talking about myself? no capitals bc i'm boring as the hate anon put#talking about the ships? all uppercase and proper grammar. we must be Professionals™#anyway i loved doing this it made me rlly Think about what dynamics i like about both ships this was delightful#of all the batcest ships i think jaytim and brudick get the trophies for Most Unwell#and damitim can clock in at third#i don't yuck anyone's yum who wants to domesticate jaytim or brudick the fluffy fics can be cute and power to you#but it's not how i fundamentally ship them and i don't have interest in writing them clean or healthy
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always weird when people attribute kamala's loss solely to the fact she's a woman and not take into account the, y'know, racial aspect of it as well
#kamala harris#marshy speaks#idk. just smells terfy.#both are definitely factors in her loss. they're also not the only factors in her loss.#this shit's a lot more complicated than just 'men don't see women as people'#and if i have to see another post phrased like that's the sole reason i swear to god it's going to make me insane lmao#rephrased that last tag to be more clear oops
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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Things are in store. Things are going to happen.
#I'm going to make a general tullius art doll#talking#I'm going to sculpt the face and hands#might do the arms too? but im not sure#the armour is the scariest part because I'm not sure how to achieve it#but i know how to find out#i have the yarn for his hair already#tbh if it comes down to it i can always just give him “casual clothing” but id rather have him look like. yk. him#idk im insane and tired#none of you know that girlboy like i do okay.#the sooner we all accept that the better 🫶#anyways the reason I'm not gonna do multiple outfits is because these dolls are art pieces and usually pretty fragile#changing clothes isn't as easy as on a normal doll meant for play#and it would be a LOTTT more work for me#if it goes well I'll make an ulfric#but he would be even more complicated i fear?#or maybe less. maybe i should be buying materials for both of them#idk idkkk#once they're done im going to put them in a jar#half joking idk#god im so fucking funny#I CAN MAKE TULLIUS MEET HATSUNE MIKU#i have a Miku figure that my other art doll has already met#the other one i used airdry clay for the head#DO NOT RECOMMEND. i hate air dry clay#i might actually decapitate him and redo the head tbh#we will see!
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idk what it says about me that getou is so much easier for me to write than gojo
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💭
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#atla#azula#this is about zuko & azula's finale agni kai. while i adore it + it's such a beautiful fight...#i saw a poll about who would've won if katara hadn't been there; and most people were saying it wouldve been zuko#but to me zuko would've lost not because azula wasn't in her right mind but because he wouldve had restraint and she wouldnt#restraint in the sense of... she's still his SISTER so he's aiming not to maim or kill; unlike azula who in that moment has no qualms abt—#—inflicting lethal injuries on anyone present. and it just got me thinking about how we were robbed of their sibling relship#a more nuanced sibling relship at least. like without katara there would we have seen zuko hesitate before dealing a winning blow#would he have seen his little sister who their family failed just as much as they failed him?#because even iroh says at some point that “[azula] is crazy & needs to go down” like... sir that is your niece#idk#i wish we could've gotten a zuko who not only fears envies pities and opposes azula; but also loves her in some way#they're constantly pit against each other and i wonder if the younger idealistic compassionate zuko wouldve been protective of her#up until his banishment; then a once loving relationship (if strained) becomes so horrifically complicated#like the narrative spent way more time establishing azula as a terrible manipulative person (which she is) but also glossing over the fact—#—that she's a child. she wasn't born evil & the writing does not condemn ozai at all for his failure in raising her#the writing clearly shows how he fucked up with zuko but not how he fucked up with azula#which is a missed opportunity for zuko to empathize with her. they were both kids under the same abuse; just pushed in opposite directions
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man idgaf about what treville and richelieu have going on (mostly nothing) (they dont like each other but they work together a lot bc of their jobs.) (i guess treville holding onto a sense of honour whilst working with the cardinal is interesting but like that's not. thats not really those two having something interesting going on). lets talk about the king and the cardinal man.
#the way the king sometimes resents the cardinal's influence but is so easily manipulated to feel lost without it.#the fact that he'll openly acknowledge the cardinal wants him to rule unfairly and play favourites. with a fond look on his face#''i will disband their whole regiment if that's what it takes to make you happy. only please don't leave me alone'' with tears in his eyes#all of which was exactly what the cardinal was going for and he just gets away with it!#the queen finds out he was trying to have her Killed and she says yeah fuck you obvi but i wont tell the king tho bc he loves you ?#i'm not saying any of this is like romantic to be clear lol. it's just very interesting#i mean i dont think it can probably be categorised really. but im definitely not calling it that#it is super interesting though the way the cardinal needs to undermine the queen and place himself closer to the king to succeed in his aim#it would be somewhat appropriate for sure to say its kind of a parent-child relationship in some ways but that's definitely not all of it#in terms of the way the king relies on him and his guidance. but again thats not all of it and he's not a child. or not actually a child.#and i could say this about any of the relationships between men on the show but of course Because they're both men that means the#Possibility of it being anything but fully platonic is not something he can acknowledge and for that reason whether it is or Not there's#still going to be a level of repression and denial that just complicates things. even though/if theres not truly anything to deny#meanwhile honestly i think the cardinal is personally being normal about it even tho he's a freak about a lot of other things#i mean idk that was my impression. i am sorta-watching through s1 again so maybe i'll develop my ideas on that#anyway#me.txt#musketeers posting
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oh god oh fuck I just had. A Thought.
ok so. remember when I said some posts ago that if I ever wrote a sequel to the sequel to Maul fucks some guy it would be a "I'm horny and it's making me go kinda crazy and I don't care we can pretend it didn't happen just fuck me" kinda thing. and remember I have a currently on hiatus wip about Maul warning Obi-Wan about Sidious before Dooku dies that involves them fucking in a spaceship. what if I. combined these concepts......
#hm i should make an original post tag#obimaul#making it part of this both gives a good 'conclusion' to the 'fucking some guy' saga and adds some tasty flavor to that wip#which tbh needs the flavoring. it started as a very pointless short thing and i got stuck because idk where i'm going with it#and this. this would be delicious.#make him go to his enemies for help because he hates sidious so much. with the added flavor of the conflicting wants inside him‚#not knowing obi-wan feels the same conflicting wants for him. both keeping their distance because they don't want to complicate it.#and in the fic. maul took them into wild space for extra privacy because he's a bit (justifiably) paranoid.#and their ship gets stranded for a bit because the navicomputer gets disoriented.#so they're gonna be trapped together in a ship. stressed and hopeless and not sure how they feel about each other.#both because of maul reaching out to tell him about sidious‚ placing him at least partially on the jedi's side‚#and because of the Thing with the shapeshifter#so. yeaghhhh#excellent Thought i think#which means the sequel sequel is. already started. by accident
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you know, before it started airing, i thought only friends was going to end with no couples or maybe one, and the friendship with mew, ray, and boston being repaired/the true "endgame," but now it's like...
were mew and boston ever actually friends? i'm sure we'll get more flashbacks, but so far they've barely interacted; boston clearly resents him and seems to have for at least two years (definitely before top was interested in mew). meanwhile, mew and ray love each other (in different ways) but there's been a strain on their friendship, also for at least two years that now has gotten worse, because of ray's continued pining.
seems more like they were woven very delicately and the introduction of top pulled at an already loose thread that unraveled the whole thing - but it would have fallen apart regardless.
personally, i think if mewray got together it would kind of defeat the purpose of the sleep kiss. plus, i've been in these years-long unrequited love situations... from both sides, and i have a hard time seeing it end any other way but ugly. it's still a drama though, so who knows.
and boston? i would have... an impossible time forgiving him. literally impossible, i would (and will) never forgive him. even if it hadn't been assault and coercion. not only does he cross a line, but he seems to do it because he has Issues with mew specifically. if someone not only fucked my partner but went out of his way to do it to hurt me, i would cut him out of my life with no parole.
could i forgive top on the other hand? under these circumstances, definitely. but i think i'd need some time to deal with his not trusting me, but knowing why he didn't would help me get over it. (as long as he didn't give me an sti......... which i'm hoping won't be a thing. p'jojo's last drama apparently had a lot of emphasis on safe sex so i'm a little worried about that.)
nickboston and sandray both get into physical fights, which should be a deal-breaker for me irl but in a drama? meh. idk if the writers are examining partner violence/abuse in addition to consent though.
in my limited experience, i'm ok at predicting episode by episode or a few big twists (who enchante is, who got tian pregnant, the eclipse curse), but like the others i still don't know how this all is going to play out. a lot can happen in eight episodes.
anyway. just some thinky-thoughts that ran away from me.
#still could be that only one couple survives tho#i've always had a hard time believing nickboston will but they're both So crazy that maybe they deserve each other#we'll have to see what complications sandray actually get into because right now it seems kind of... pedestrian? soz#idk how ray's life is going to get all fucked up ''because'' of sand but 🤷♀️#and topmew idk maybe!!! i hope so! but things can always get worse lol#ofs liveblog
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