#idk they were always fucking around with those kind of textures

[kil9]

basically I wanted to do low res art yesterday and then realized that it was not nearly low res enough to be significant when it was already too late to change and I'm like. well what am I doing now

[kimberlyannharts]

Ultraman: Rising!

Sure we all know the Power Rangers reboot has been passed on at Netflix but instead we have this hot new piece of toku instead: Ultraman: Rising! And I finally got the chance to check it out last night.

I know Ultraman is one of the big toku/kaiju genre staples but it's never really been on my radar of things to watch. I'm not sure why! I guess Super Sentai/Power Rangers just has more of the it factor that appeals to me. So because of that I really have no context to the story besides it's a guy who can turn into a giant silver superhero that beats up kaiju.........or maybe it's an alien who looks like a human and the silver superhero is his true form? or maybe the human and the silver superhero are two separate beings that share the same body? idk. It's probably all three of those things depending on the series. But this film was marketed as a standalone that new fans could enjoy AND....the big one.....it's ANIMATED, so I felt more inclined to check it out.

And it was really really good!! I enjoyed it a lot!

Spoiler-ish thoughts on the film below:

= Let's get this out of the way: the biggest draw to this was the animation and art direction, and yeah, it slaps. The textures and stylization (always love 2D painted effect animation on explosions and things) and lighting were a full-course meal and the scenes where they focused on Ultraman's shining eyes staring through a window or computer screen were just SO striking. To the point where I feel that if I got around to watching the actual live-action Ultraman, it might feel a little underwhelming in comparison. Oops

= It does kind of fall in the cliches of the "selfish guy learns maturity by having to be a father" plot (with bonus "son is estranged from his dad and mom is missing but they work to improve their relationship" sprinkled in) which makes me appreciate The Return even more (sorry, I'm still Returnpilled) but it's still charming and I can hope if we get more movies they give a little more focus to Ami and Emiko (speaking of which, I know they weren't doing a romance this movie, but Ami having a daughter and the movie being about Ken raising a daughter? oh you know it's happening and I'm here for this because they're both so hot)

= I think Ken is also a better example of the "showboating egotistical hero who learns to mature" than most because the movie isn't afraid to show him vulnerable even before his character development. I was genuinely surprised at that scene where he starts crying out of the stress of balancing his baseball career and figuring out Emi

= Apparently there was some discussion that the movie didn't bring up Ultraman's origins which, as someone who knows next to nothing about Ultraman, that didn't really bother me? Obviously I can still give more benefit of the doubt than people who don't know much about the tokusatsu/kaiju genre to begin with, but even so, I was still pretty down with the concept of "this guy has the ability to turn into a giant silver superpowered man and passed the ability down to his son" - and I think in the age of superhero blockbusters in general the idea isn't that farfetched that it requires more explanation. In any case it's a bit of a moot point since future movies are clearly going to talk about Ultras and their origins more, based on the stinger.

= Is Emi a clear kid-appeal character meant to be shown off in marketing and merchandising because of how squishy and cute she is? Yes. Is she just so fucking squishy and cute and my newest baby child? YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES. I am not immune to monster baby. I think it helps that I always found the old monster screeches cute and applying them to a baby babbling was kinda genius in its execution. And I'm glad they kind of got the obligatory "haha babies poop and are smelly and gross" jokes out of the way early (yeah they had the whole "acid reflux" thing in the second act but I've seen way worse in other media)

= The subtitles calling Sato's Ultra form "Ultradad" and his Ultra mustache were both really funny

= Obviously I knew Ken wasn't going to die when he threw himself on Dr. Onda's mech (btw the mech was sexy) but I definitely expected a little more than just a busted arm with how they were building up how the blast would have "destroyed them all" kdjkfdj maybe they cut to after he had recovered a bit. Though in general I'm not quite sure of how durable Ultraman is

= Kind of a milf. reblog

[dootznbootz]

Sparta royal family headcanons?? Any generation.

I HAVE A LOT AND PROBABLY HAVE TO RESEARCH MORE BUT I DO!!!! >:D Thank you for the ask!!! *headbonks*

So we don't know much info with Hippocoon and how that went down yet other than basics YET or if I plan for him to be a half-brother to Icarius and Tyndarius. BUt Icarius and Tyndarius are opposites in that Tyndarius is a worrywart and Icarius is just vibing most of the time. Tyndarius is also just dealing with more stuff...they're their generation's version of Agamemnon and Menelaus in a way with how one brother takes a lot of the brunt for the other except both have a happy ending :'D )

Also, neither are the best fighters as while Sparta was pretty big on military they were exiled for a bit. Another thing with them, being half-naiad, (and being surrounded by others like them), it makes it kind of easy to tell when one of your kids is fucking with one of your advisors as they can feel the water being moved as well. It's harder for Icarius though as his children are more naiad than him. It's easy for Tyndarius as Clytemnestra is less naiad than him. Kind of go into that here, just not with the specific family dynamics :D Also might change some things

I didn't plan for naiads and naiad-born to really have scales but now I'm kind of coming around to it because I just KNOW Tyndarius picks at them and Leda has to do the whole "stop that". (might have to redo that post I did on naiads because of it, or maybe just have a poll just for the homies :P might be skin colored and just be different skin texture. idk for sure) Also while Icarius and his whole family are pretty okay about water and spend a lot of time in the water as Periboea is a Naiad and all his children are 3/4th naiad, Tyndarius often forgets that he needs to get into the water every once in a while. Leda doesn't technically need it and his children are only 1/4th so they don't need it as often.

Leda: Dear, when was the last time you went for a swim? You've been looking over those tablets for a while, I'll take over. loosely based on clay records found at Knossos :P I think they're neat. LINEAR B, BITCHES! Tyndarius: Oh, it has been a bit! Let me finish this one up before I do. Leda, getting annoyed at him scratching at himself just dumps a pot of water over him: Better? Tyndarius: Yeah, actually! :D

It's...sometimes a bit of a problem when you're a person who needs to be damp often and two of your children kind of always have a lot of static electricity :'D

I know Leda and Tyndarius have affection for one another, but I don't really have a plan for how they got together :P I DO kind of for Icarius and Periboea though! :D All I know is that Icarius being a runner, it's really funny to me to think this guy, being half-naiad, just fucking RUNS on water for funsies, which annoyed Periboea when he's back from exile. Plan for them to have a pretty happy marriage, though sadly, that's not the case for all their children :') and that's part of the reason why he tries to get Penelope to stay in Sparta as he's overprotective of them all while also desperately not wanting them to have feuds like what happened to him and Tyndarius.

Lil bit of spoiler but...Hermione was 5 years old when her mom was kidnapped and she was a bit traumatized by it. :') as she kind of got to see it happen

[syrinq]

sy's Fun Reflective Post On Idk 90s Toys And Shit Or Whatever

glass deco

the shit you'd draw on some plastic, peel off and then put on a window. fucking awesome. 90s kid version of forbidden edible tidepod or whatever. the minus is that it'd eventually dry up and fall off and be utterly useless. I Wish I Could Have It Forever

-

2. the water ring things

especially if they had a little landscape like with idk dolphins and glitter. this shit was fucking lit. the gentle SWOOSH of the water and the rings going uppity and blah blah blah. awesome. fucking lit. a child's cocaine supply or something

-

3. wooden snake

whirling this around and getting your fingers stuck in it and it hurt a little but then you do it again because it feels funny. and also shaking it for the wooden snake noise. this hsit is aweosme

-

4. barbie/generic doll shoes

see video. seriously i don't even care about barbies i just wanted the shoes for that reason. (also reason i loved bugles besides eating them because they were like witch nails)

-

5. mega bloks dragon

PEEL THE EGG PLACENTA OFF AND MAKE YOUR NEW DRAGON!!!!!!! POSE HIM!!! FLAP HIS WINGS!!!!! FUCKING AWESOME

-

6. water dinosaurs

PUT AN EGG IN A GLASS OF WATER WAIT FOR 3 DAYS OR WHATEVER AND GET YOUR NEW STUPID WRINKLY SON THAT FEELS WET AND FUCKING WEIRD TO THE TOUCH! SO WEIRD THAT YOU DO THIS MULTIPLE TIMES & THEN TEAR OFF ITS LIMBS AND DUMP IT IN THE TRASH! COOL AND UTTERLY AWFUL!

-

7. the plastic puzzle shit that's really just a predecessor to lego

WHY WAS THIS ONLY FOR 4-6 YEAR OLDS. THIS SHIT WAS LIT. I MADE SO MANY TOWERS OF JUST CUBES IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME

-

8. rush hour

THE FEELING OF MOVING THE SILLAY LITTLE PLASTIC VEHICLES OVER THE BOARD AND GETTING IT OUT WAS SO AWESOME. YOU DON'T GET THIS ON A STUPID MOBILE APP WHATSOEVER.

-

9. play sand

COLOURFUL. MIXING COLOURS. THE FEELING OF SAND BUT IT DOESN'T GET STUCK TO YOUR STUPID ASS FINGERS! AWESOME

-

10. play dough

enjoying + hating the smell of these things at the same time. KNEADING FUN. MIXING COLOURS FUN BUT THEN IT RESULTS INTO POOP BROWN AND TODDLER-YOU IS KIND OF UPSET AS TO WHY IT'S POOP NOW

-

11. predecessor to tennis idk

the colours were nice. other than that these things kinda fucking sucked ass

-

12. marbles but they have a playground

fuck playing marbles with other kids during lunch like you're playing fucking billiards. THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT. ROLLERCOASTER FUN PLAYGROUND PARK ETC. FOR MARBLES. FUCKING AWESOME. FUCKING LIT. I LOVE THIS

-

13. the sketch thing

everything you draw on it looks horrible and if you draw enough there'll always be remnants of pen strokes. but it was cool.

-

14. stinky rubber bouncy balls

you bounce them around you accidentally hit your head with it and then you also scratch or possibly chew off parts of it because. i don't know. candy ball.

-

15. apparently called rubber poppers

annoying ass cunts

-

16. squishy water anything

bonus points if it has animals or wiggly things or whatever in it. awesome. fucking lit.

-

17. groan tube

also known as the kid's equivalent of an evil trumpet light saber weapon. why is it called a groan tube. that's the stupidest name i've ever heard of. anyway these things were awesome

-

18. those rubber things that you make things with

why is it called scoubidou and why did everyone make helicopters

-

19. the empty doll books that you could draw clothes on

very cool very swag. i sucked at it tho

-

20. apparently they're called jelly sandals???

utterly fucking AWFUL. a tool to not slip in swimming pools or just general shoe usage. DISGUSTING. poking in your skin 24/7. disgusting. awful texture. hate these.

-

21. anything webkinz but it's not webkinz

plush... online pet...... the best fucking wombo combo shit you could ever have as a kid. fucking awesome. and then all those virtual pet sites had to go die off or whatever and i'm still incredibly salty about that as an adult. look at that lamb..... my pathetic wet sad summer child i had when i was idk 7

-

22. magnetix

fucking killer things these. unless you drop a stick and it's lost forever and then it's Good Bye My Friend

alright i'm done my brain has lost thinking capacity on this topic goodbye

[salaciousslut]

Ive never had espolon! Maybe i should try it with you sometime 🤭 same as long as im drunk then im happy☺️ and thats more than okay princess<3 i wouldnt mind if you took you clothes off for me, i know you could use a few marks all over your pretty tits<3

I hate to say the masochism falls in line with the cnc for me because if you fight back and hurt me I'll just like it<3 And fuck the dudebros, (literally if you'd like hehe🤭) they dont really matter anyway, theyre also focused on themselves, if they dont want to be around you i swear they'll just move, esp if you have me around sweet thing<3 our preferred exercising methods are very different but i'd be more than willing to take your lead and protect you wherever you go princess<3 and i havent done yoga in a while!! Its been years 🫣 but i'd follow you anywhere<3

You absolutely deserve to be loved and cherished sweetheart, youre literally so precious<33 i wanna put you in a cute collar so bad princess<3 but also i get it, being a kitten has such a cute appeal to it, but being a puppy is cuter, it also shows how good you are at following orders as long as someone treats you right<3

Tbh🫣 i dont like ceviche with fully cooked shrimp the texture is off, but its ok!! I sill get to eat all sorts of yummy seafood! My family's from coastal regions so i grew up with lots of fish and a ton of shrimp, and at least fully cooked shrimp is good in other stuff!

No i get that! I hope no one's been weird about race in your dms lately, race fetishists are weird as fuck.

Wait you really think we'd look good together, princess? 🥺

You are too cute<3333 chips and salsa are good! Whats your favorite kind of chips? I wanna know 🥺 Also wtf i love wings, im partial to mango habanero at most places! But i love spicy food a lot. And im also one of those weirdos that doesnt mind pineapple on pizza 🤭

I understand princess, its much more fun if someone else does it for you<3 i wish i was able to add to your orgasm log by eating you out sweetheart<33 I really love eating pussy if im being honest<3333

hehe yes!! i just got a mew bottle so ill open it with you!! plus u can feed me shots!! maybe make me a heavy handed drink. u really like my tits huh?? hehe if i were in my dms i would send u pics all the time (this is me gently convincing u to come off anon hehehe)

hottttttt i like struggling a lil because its more fun that way but knowing that youll like it too is really hot!!!

and we will take turns working out! bc lets be real, if ur lifting, i dont think i could pay attention to anything else!! nor do i really want to!! so we take turns <3

i get that! but yay for shrimp!! im also coastal so fresh shrimp and fish are my bread and butter!! yummy hehe

duh i think we would look good together babe!!! i mean look at us??? hot as fuck

i love anything that hot limon flavored!! thats always my go to but cool ranch doritos or sour cream and onion chips are yummy too!! or anything with dip, im a big sauce girl so dips and sauces are my jam. mango habanero is so yummy!! you have excellent taste 😇 see for me, i totally understand the flavor profile of pineapple on pizza, but i have a big aversion to warm fruit. i hate the texture and flavor of warm fruit so much. like fruit pies and cobblers and stuff? i eat it cold because the fruit taste more like fruit to me that way. idk its a lil weird but warm fruit gives me the heebie jeebies

hehehehehe eat me out then!!! im very vocal when im with someone its kinda embarrassing but i know people like that 🫣

[funnywormz]

Idk which of these you've already done, but... encyclopedia, drama, visual calculus, inland empire, shivers, and reaction speed (but I use it to slip a small caterpillar into your hand)

this got kinda long so im putting it under a read-more!

ive done drama and shivers so i'll leave them out here, but i haven't done any of the others so im doing them! ^___^

encyclopedia: what's your favourite niche piece of lore?

idk if it's exactly niche bc it's pretty easy to come across it, but the little detail abt ,tzaraath", the elysium-wide pandemic of prion disease, was rlly interesting to me....... in the game it's only rlly brought up bc the economic and social consequences of it led to the revolution, but im curious abt the disease itself. iirc it was supposedly spread by potatoes, which seems like an unlikely vector for a human neurodegenerative disease?!?!?!?

i also wonder how it was dealt with/eradicated. in reality, back in the 80s/90s when bse/cjd (which is also a neurodegenerative prion disease) was more of a concern, it was mostly dealt with through testing to prevent spread from cattle to humans, and through large scale eradication of cattle. however even with modern medicine, prion diseases in general are pretty much untreatable and if you have one like cjd you're just kinda fucked lol. cattle with it can't be saved either and usually get culled. so im curious to know how tzaraath was dealt with in elysium given that it was supposedly a widespread disease that there was probably no cure for. did everyone with it just die? how have they been able to prevent it spreading again since, do they text crops for it? is it survivable, are there any survivors still around? is the disease itself still present in the population just at a lower level? idk it's just rlly interesting to me

the other little lore snippets that interest me are: 1) joyce mentioning a specialist fungal species that lives at the edge of the pale and 2) ruby knowing someone who used to work at a repeater station (possibly an ex-lover of hers, even?).......... i need to know more abt both of those too...........

visual calculus: what's your overall favourite moment of the game? your favourite line?

big spoilers, but it's this:

"Insulindian Phasmid - That must be incredibly hard. The arthropods are in silent and meaningless awe of you. Know that we are watching -- when you're tired, when the vision spins out of control. The insects will be looking on. Rooting for you.

Insulindian Phasmid - And when you fall we will come to raise you up, bud from you, banner-like, blossom from you and carry you apart in a sky funeral. In honour of your passing. (But not me, because I am just a leaf eater.)

Volition - In honour of your will, lieutenant-yefreitor. That you kept from falling apart, in the face of sheer terror. Day after day. Second by second."

the whole scene with the phasmid is my favourite overall moment in the game, but holy shit this particular series of lines always makes me cry. it's so loving and tender, and the acknowledgement that life can be terrifying and horrible and sometimes it takes a lot of willpower to keep going it so oddly comforting to me. it makes me feel like im not alone in how i feel and that it's ok to find it hard and struggle, just as long as i keep going and keep trying. and it's comforting to think abt the insects waiting for us at the end of it <3

inland empire: if video game Disco Elysium was put in a hydraulic press. if it was bundled and squeezed into a small object that fit in the palm of your hand. what would that look like? what would you do with it, then?

hm......... i thought abt this for a while and i think it would be like an iridescent little die with a glass/polished stone kind of texture, and would look mostly blueish green with sparkles of orange, but would change depending on how the light hit it and what angle you were viewing it from. it would be a bit bigger than other normal dice, but still a standard cube shape with 6 sides. it would be cool to the touch and kinda heavy, and smooth at the edges instead of sharp. i think the first thing i would do would be roll it to see what number i got

reaction speed: (i am simply giving you an ace's high)

FUCK YES. i am returning your aces high but very gently so as not to squish the caterpillar and i will find a nice green leaf for it to nibble on 🐛

[someoneimsure]

Hello.. I dunno where to start with this but I need some advice if you’re willing to give it. When I just joined the site around a year ago, I had nooo clue about internet safety or warning signs or even what an anti or a pro shipper was. I barely knew how tumblr worked basically. I had always identified as asexual after hearing its definition from a friend a few years ago, so I didn’t know that would be a problem on the internet, either (spoiler alert: it was) basically when I was very new to both tumblr and the whole fandom experience I kind of accidentally fell into a really, reallyyyy bad, toxic subsection of fans because those were the blogs recommended to me by tumblr 😭 none of them identified them as antis (didn’t know what that was) but said if you were proship not to follow them, which I also didn’t know what that was, so I just followed them anyway. When I had like ~35 followers some biggish account follows me back and starts acting veryyyy buddy-buddy. Sliding into messages, trying to pressure me for personal information like my name, age, and selfie. I said a fake name and my real age but refused a selfie because of internet safety and made me feel guilty for it.. they also reblogged a bunch of reblog bait CONSTANTLY like ‘what color are your eyes?’ ‘What hair texture are you?’ ‘What’s your skin color?’ And tagged me in it. I was dumb and participated in it but now I feel sick that they were manipulatively trying to figure out what I looked like. They also tagged me in several little ask games where you also tag your other mutuals at the end of it, that will be important later. Basically, they literally OUT OF THE BLUE went on several long, longggg, vitriolic rants about how much they absolutely despised asexual people, how we are single handedly oppressing gay people and trying to ban gay sex, how we want to be oppressed so badly, how straight we ‘basically’ are, how much asexual headcanons annoyed and disgusted them in fandom, etc. mind you, I had my sexuality in my bio at the time. I was very meek and naive (this was only a year ago lmao how times change) and decided to respond to the rants in the morning about how they made me feel. Went to bed, woke up, found out I had been softblocked on the false assumption that I was a dirty hidden proshipper because I had reblogged from someone with a username like antis solve nothing or something idk, again didn’t know what that was but actually was following them for their niche fandom meta, I learned later what the whole fandom shipping stuff was and don’t feel one way or another about it but am starting to think it was just an excuse to softblock me since she knew I was asexual lmao. Also how do I know she softblocked me for this? She made a post about it and called me a cockroach which… wow, where have I heard that one before… (I’m Jewish btw so if I’ve become accustomed to being compared to a bug) But this is all just backdrop. I blocked them and moved on with my life because tbh I don’t really give a fuck one way or another, but I started to receive death threats periodically from makeshift side blogs, occasionally from anonymous as well. They always say the same thing and I only get them once in a great while, so just going off that, there’s no way I’d be able to find out who actually sent them… except that the death threats also targeted my mutuals. Specifically, the mutuals who I tagged in the little ask games I was asked to participate in by the toxic mutual. So that’s why I think it’s them, and it’s honestly scary how far they’ve gone to circumvent my various blocks (I must’ve blocked them like 11 different times now) and ig. I dunno what to do. Or even if it is actually them. But I have a strong suspicion it is. What do you think?

I am so sorry you experienced that anon! I agree with your suspicion. This is very typical anti behavior. You’ve accidentally become their hyperfixation, and now they are stalking you.

There are ways to solve this problem without deleting your blog, but your friends might have to change their urls so they are no long being linked back to the ask game. (I assume the stalker in this scenario has reblogged the ask game already. Unfortunately, your solution is going to be complicated because changing your url will not prevent them from finding you.)

For all of your friends, I recommend blocking the stalker, changing your urls, and then all of you doing this:

Turn off anon. You can do this from the app and from the web browser. In the latter, it’s located under Edit Appearance.

Turn on invisibility. This is located in the web browser version under Edit Appearance at the way bottom.

Wait a month before switching back.

This is the bare minimum measure to prevent and avoid being harassed on tumblr. It is not foolproof, but it will force the cowards to think twice before harassing you. If they continue to harass you, they won’t be on anon when they do it and it will give you more credibility when you report them to tumblr for spam and harassment. (Though I don't believe I have ever seen the staff do anything about it... hellsite <3.)

There is a more complicated way to solve this problem, but it’s a headache. It involves deleting your blog.

If the above doesn't stop them from harassing you, or worse they come back to harassing you after a month, you may have to delete your blog. I would need to do a little more research before I can say how to do so without losing your url. Some sources say you can't use your url after 24 hours of changing or deleting a blog, but that has not been my experience with switching accounts. As far as I know, you will have to be very vigilant and fast to grab your url again. I am hoping to find some way to avoid that though.

Fortunately, tumblr has an export/import ability on the web browser so at least your posts can be saved and recovered. The same cannot be said for followers, following, and liked posts, so if you must take this option you will need to at least save the names of all your mutuals so you can follow them when your blog is up again.

[kyidyl]

Kyidyl Does Archaeology - Part 4

(As before, if you’re only seeing this part 4, the rest of them have the tag KyidylCL)

THE ARTEFACTS

Ok, so I’ve talked about the site and what we’ve been digging in and such, but I’m gonna be honest with you guys: I like lab work exponentially more than field work.  So I am the one who has been processing the vast majority of the finds and ergo have lots of stuff.  That’s why I sometimes make jokes about the stuff in my basement - I’m storing the majority of it here in my basement.  I’ve gotten the question before about ownership, so here is how that works.  The dig is on private land so anything we get technically belongs to the owner of the land.  Now, as far as I know, he has no interest in keeping any of it so it’ll likely end up in the hands of the arch society, who will basically just be custodians of it but not owners.  It might end up in a museum, too.  I don’t really know, but that determination won’t be made until we’re finished, and not by me.  

So every site has its own sort of categories of stuff that you find depending on who lived there (although for ease, archaeologists often categorize this stuff based on location and time - more on that later.).  For our site the majority of it falls into these categories: animal bone, shell, lithics, pottery, charcoal, modern contaminants, and artefacts.  And, to lend a bit of clarity here...lithics are anything made of rock.  So they include fire cracked rocks, flakes from stone tool making, material that was used in construction, material that was crushed to make temper for pottery paste (more on that later, too.), etc.  If it came from a rock it’s a lithic.  

And imma tell you a secret: I hate lithics.  Everyone has their thing, their category of human refuse that they simply do not like.  A prof of mine hated teeth and pottery.  That’s just how it is, and mine is lithics.  I think they’re boring, I can’t tell a flake from a blade, I don’t give a single fuck what material they are, I don’t care about the style or craftsmanship...I just don’t care.  I call them all rocks, and I do it so much that everyone on the site has started accidentally calling them rocks, too, which amuses me.  Rocks, to an archaeologist, means “stone that wasn’t altered or used by people”.  They’re worthless.  Not that I think lithics are worthless - far from it - I just really hate them and this site has so.  goddamned.  many.  Lucky for me, we have a Rock Guy aka someone who really loves lithics and actually has gotten pretty good at flint knapping and just, y’know, is really into rocks.  

And to clarify about artefacts.  When you’re out in the field everything you find is either an artefact or a find.  The collection of these things is called an assemblage.  When you’re doing lab work and sorting through it all later on an artefact is, well...like a thing.  I’m explaining this poorly....it’s a complete object with a specific function.  So, a whole pot = artefact, broken pieces = sherds (not shards, sherds.). Complete arrowhead = artefact, flakes or a broken one = lithic.  Artefacts also tend to be somewhat unique, or at least something you don’t have a lot of.  They don’t always have to be complete, anything that is a specific object can go in here.  Like, for example, this piece of pipe we found: 

To recap, we’ve got pottery, charcoal, lithics, shell, bone (animal - we haven’t found human. But I’m just gonna say bone.), and artefacts.  If you are sensitive to things like that, this is your warning that this post is going to have pictures of animal bone and you should scroll quickly.  

Now, for reference, this is what it all looks like before I clean it and after it’s been dying out for a day or two (the ground has natural moisture, so I basically just open the bags and let them air out.): 

And, yes....I am cleaning them off on an actual antique blotter with real silver edges that my mom gave me for this express purpose.  A factoid I’m only sharing because it amuses me in that sort of “bet they never envisioned this use for this thing” sort of way.  Normally, if I was in a real lab, you’d do this over a metal tray.  When you’re working with an assemblage you never hold it over empty space, you always hold it over the bench and preferably over whatever your work surface is.  That doesn’t mean I haven’t dropped my fair share of stuff anyway, but most of it just lands on the work surface and not the floor, which is why you hold it over a work surface.  But anyway, as you can see, it just looks like a brown, dirty mess.  I usually do a quick sort of the stuff I know for sure what it is and then I wash it with a soft toothbrush and some water.  The rocks I just submerge and swoosh around because they’re rocks and I can’t really damage them and there’s SO FRIKKIN MANY that I refuse to clean them individually.  

So now that you’ve gotten through that long-winded but necessary explanation of terms, where are we at? Since I’m a bioarchaeologist and I prefer things that were once alive to the general detritus of human society, we’re gonna start with the bone.  Specifically, we’re gonna start with how I know those two pits from yesterday’s post are one pit.  This is how: 

This is a deer bone.  Don’t ask me which one bc I’m really not good at ID’ing species and animal anatomy, but it’s a leg bone of some kind.  See how it’s broken? One piece was found in one hole and the other piece was in the other.  Clearly it’s the same animal, ergo the pits are related to each other.  The vast majority of what came out of that particular feature was bone, with the rest being charcoal and the occasional pot sherd.  This means it was probably used for cooking and not as a garbage pit. Also there was food in it, if you recall the cooking accident from yesterday.  but sometimes y’know, stuff falls into the fire pit or it’s put in there as a way of disposing of it.  

But wait, I have more cool animal bones!! 

Ok, so there’s this one: 

This bone has a special place in my heart. IDK what species it is (I *think* it’s a fragment of deer long bone.), but that’s not why it’s cool.  This single bone is strong evidence for the presence of dogs.  =D See that circular mark on the right? That is the impression of a canine tooth from a carnivore.  Human teeth can’t make those marks in bones - our teeth aren’t strong enough to do significant damage to bone, and anyway we tend to crack bones open with rocks (a form of damage called percussion marks.) and not with our teeth.  Those other longer scratch marks are also likely from chewing, not butchery, because they’re in the right places and they’re the right shape.  Now we know this was a settlement, and this bone was found smack in the middle surrounded by human detritus and not on the fringes or outskirts.  There were no domesticated felines in the Americas at the time BC this is from the lower pre-contact level, so what’s really the only carnivore that would be wandering around a human settlement? Dogs.  I love this kinda stuff because it’s so easy see them chilling around the fire pit, talking and eating, teasing whomever it was that spilled dinner, and then tossing the bones to their dogs to gnaw on after dinner.  It’s just such a people kind of thing, you know? All from one small, circular mark.  I actually found more on later bones that came out of other places, so it’s pretty safe to say there were dogs living here with their people even though we have found neither people nor dogs.  

So here’s another cool bone: 

Again, no idea what species it is bc I’m not a zooarch (yes, there are archaeologists that specialize in animals and wooooo boy can they tell you a LOT about migration and eating habits of people.). It’s about the size of half my thumb, IE, not large.  This one is cool, and it’s the only one I have like this, because of that notch you can see vertically in the image on the right hand side.  I don’t know what it was for, but I DO know that it was an intentionally made modification to the bone.  Those striations aren’t natural - natural bone is smooth or has a very specific texture and this isn’t that.  It’s probably not damage done to the bone after it was deposited in the archaeological record.  It has the same patina as the majority of the rest of the bone, which you can compare to the lighter area there on the right hand end of the bone.  That lighter area does not have the patina of age that the rest of the bone does, and is the result of damage in a much more recent time - probably as we were taking it out of the ground.  Small bones are fragile.  So someone gouged this channel intentionally in this bone, either because they were going to use it as decoration or it served some purpose as a tool.  I’m not really sure what though.  Hell, they could have just been bored and fidgeting after eating.  Either way, it’s a human modification to this bone that has nothing to do with cooking or consumption (damage from human consumption is cracks and breaks, not scrapes.).  It could also be a butchery mark, although it’s a bit deep for that.  Butchery marks are there from separation of meat from bone - they’re usually just shallow scrapes.  

Ok, last cool bone I’m gonna show you.  Well, bones, plural.  

Ok so this is part of the same assemblage as the ones above, and if I remember correctly these were the ones that came out of that pit.  You can see the same bone with the canine tooth mark there in the center.  There’s also some interesting things like some pottery on the left and a couple teeth off to the right (one is a deer and I *think* that curved on is a squirrel.), but the really interesting thing is the series of 3 shiny bones that are in the center.  There’s a lot of ways to cook meat, and they all do different things to bones.  You will often find the dry, brown looking ones like you can see here in the non-shiny bones. That’s like...your basic “this bone had meat on it when it was cooked”. Then you’ll see ones that are black, and that’s “this bone probably didn’t have meat when it was cooked, or someone tossed it back in the fire when they were done”. Lastly, you’ll see white bone, and that’s a bone that has been burned at a high temperature for a long time.  Usually it’s done on purpose (you can use burned, powdered bone to make stuff.).  

But the shiny ones were in a soup.  And the reason I know that is *because* they’re shiny.  Bones, especially old ones, aren’t shiny.  I mean...you can see that.  You have to do stuff to ‘em.  And bones are porous, but those weren’t.  They felt like hard plastic. And they get that way by being boiled.  The shiny patina is what we call pot polish - they were stirred in the soup while it was cooking and rubbed against the side of the pot and each other, and it gives them a smoother texture.  

All of these collections of bones tell us what and how they ate things.  I know from what I can ID here (which isn’t everything, trust me.) that they ate a lot of deer and wild turkey (we have an entire almost completely intact turkey long bone.). There is also, I believe, squirrel (I found a portion of a skull and jaw that I’m pretty sure belong to a squirrel), and an assortment of other small rodents and birds.  Lots of birds.  Bird bone is really distinctive, it’s light and the spongy bone has a distinct texture.  A zooarchaeologist can look at bones like this and ID species and age, and from there tell you what time year something was probably killed.  Societies that hunted a lot tended to do it seasonally so that they wouldn’t damage the populations.  Plus especially with fish and stuff they have very specific growing cycles and short lifespans, so they can also tell you a lot about where the people were hunting and when.  Like certain fish will only spawn in certain places, so it’s really informative.  Zooarchs are so important and there just aren’t enough of them.  

Anyway, there are other cool things in the bones but I’m trying to strike a balance here between too much and not enough and I really love bone so I’m going to stop here for today.  Tomorrow is going to be other artefacts (yeah, sadly, even lithics, lol), and what they tell us about the site and the people who lived there.   As an aside: if anyone has any like just general “how do they know this?” sort of questions about history and archaeology those would be fun to answer.  I love to tell people how we do things but I don’t just wanna infodump.  I DO want to explain procedure in what I hope is a readable way because I think understanding how we make the sausage will help people have more trust in science.  So if you have any questions, please, send asks.  If I don’t know the answer I’ll research it or pass it on to someone who does.  

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[toxicpineapple]

Well, this year is coming to a close!!! Here are my favourite writings from the year 2020 :)

---

January:

“A penchant for looking at rocks”, the first ever Amamota fic I wrote (it’s been a long fucking year, haha) and another 5+1 things fic! Buckle down LGBTQ+ community because there are a lot of these, in fact I’m pretty sure I started off last year’s compilation with a 5+1 things fic? Anyway, this one was the five times Kaito helps Rantaro when he’s hurt, plus the one time Rantaro helps Kaito. I love me some good whump and I felt I had to choose this one because it’s one of my favourites just generally speaking.

Content Warnings: Injuries, tending to injuries, asthma attacks.

---

February:

“Ibuki Mioda’s Kisses”, which I wrote for day fourteen of Femslash February. Boy, if I thought I wrote a lot in January, just take a moment to peek at February 2020… I was churning out a fic daily for the entire month. I don’t regret it though! I got to write a lot of characters who I haven’t written a lot, and explore a whole lot of prompts, and if I can remove my head from my ass I fully intend on participating in Femslash February again next year. Ibuki Mioda’s Kisses is the piece I wrote for Valentine’s Day, which was my two year anniversary with my boyfriend, so I wanted to write something special commemorating our relationship. No idea how I’m going to top that in 2021, but uh, check out the fic! It’s cute and I like to think it’s clever.

Content Warnings: The Mortifying Ideal Of Discovering Oneself, secondhand embarrassment, bad kisses. (I mean in the sense that texturally they’re just, unpleasant. It’s about asexuality, alright.)

---

March:

“Adventure”, which I wrote for day five of Amasai Week, which was the first ship week I hosted and participated in in 2020! This was the longest piece that I wrote, and my favourite, just because I really really love the childhood friends trope, and I liked writing Shuichi and Rantaro as children, adventuring together and just having a fantastic time. Amasai Week actually took place while one of my parrots stayed overnight at the emergency vet after a fight with another one, so it was a pretty stressful time for me, but I’m proud of myself for completing it and looking forward to hosting Amasai Week again in 2020! Stay tuned, we’ve almost got the prompts worked out.

Content Warnings: None.

---

April:

“A couple of ghosts”, which is the fic I wrote for Kaito’s birthday! I see we’ve reached the part of 2020 where I met my abuser, which, yaaaaay, but also, I’m still really proud of this fic, despite how much I kind of associate it with him now! It’s the fic where I said, y’know what, no, we can’t have nice things, and gave Kaito a horrible, traumatic reason for his fear of ghosts, as well as two dead parents. It’s Saimota though and there’s a cute hurt/comfort scene at the end so go ahead and check it out if you want.

Content Warnings: Car accidents, minor character death, injuries, PTSD.

---

May:

“Are you down to play?”, the fic that I wrote for day four of Saimota Week, wherein Shuichi has a secret and Kaito makes a bet with Kaede to figure it out. Man, if you thought I had bad associations with the fic I chose for April, look at this one, haha. But it’s objectively the best writing piece I uploaded that month, I’m really proud of my characterisation and the scenes in the fic, and hopefully someday I’ll be able to read this piece without thinking about him. :)

Content Warnings: None! This one’s just a fluffy feel good fic.

---

June:

“Tamago kake gohan”, the Sonanami canon compliant hurt/comfort fic I wrote for my friend Void’s birthday. I put out a whopping three one shots in June because I’d really hit the swing of my roleplaying and hadn’t adjusted to it well enough to be writing fic at the same time yet, so, yeah. This one’s cute, though! Sonia is sad about Gundham and then Chiaki makes her some food. They’re sapphic.

Content Warnings: Canonical character death.

---

July:

“Good night”, the Amasai 5+1 things that I wrote for my friend Neb’s birthday! This is the five times Saihara slept in front of Amami, plus the one time Rantaro slept in front of Shuichi. It’s cute! They’re tender! It features the trope where you sleep in front of a loved one! I love that trope! And it’s Neb’s favourite so I had to go for it, hehe. These two are cute boys and they deserve to be happy.

Content Warnings: Breakdowns, nightmares. (But neither is from the narrator’s perspective.)

---

August:

“Making that dream come true”, the royalty AU Kaede and Rantaro become friends fic that I wrote while I briefly hyperfixated back on my royalty AU. I got into another writing groove during this time so I actually have a lot of really good fics up from August (including Mutual Vulnerability… Amamotas I’m sorry to have cucked you like this that fic was so damn good) but this one was my favourite. I love writing in first person, and I love writing platonic relationships, and someday I’m going to write the multichapter that this fic sets up for.

Content Warnings: Arranged marriages, and something else but it’s a secret, shhh.

---

September:

“A lot of firsts”, the Harumami fic I wrote for the first day of Amami Week, which is a personal writing challenge that I did this year to celebrate the week leading up to Amami’s birthday. September was a really dry writing month for me, partly because of the roleplay stuff and partly because of personal issues, but I’m still proud of the heteroeroticism (heh) in this one. Maki and Rantaro have chemistry, what can I say.

Content Warnings: Stab injuries (not from Maki to Rantaro, please).

---

October:

“October 3rd”, the second fic I wrote for Rantaro’s birthday, and also the Oumami fic that I wrote for day seven of Amami Week. I’m a fan of most of the fics I wrote in October (I wouldn’t gift someone a fic I’m not proud of and most of the fics I wrote, including this one, were gift fics) but this one is my favourite just because of the introspection, and also because of the fact that I got to write Ouma, because he’s always so much fun. I enjoyed writing the two of them going back and forth and have another Oumami fic on the way so stay tuned, haha.

Content Warnings: None.

---

November:

“It is what it is”, the fic I wrote for day four of Amamota week, which takes place when Rantaro is an adult, and out at a bar with his friends, where he meets Kaito and goes for a walk outside. It’s a melancholic piece for sure, but I like capturing those vibes with my fics, and I got to write a group interaction which is always one of my favourite things to do. Amamota is my biggest comfort pairing and I’m glad that I got to host Amamota Week this year, because I enjoy those two so much. :) Great chemistry.

Content Warnings: Recreational alcohol use (everyone is drinking legally and tentatively responsibly), general sad vibes idk.

---

December:

Okay, honestly, I haven’t posted anything yet this month aside from a vent, and since the vent I posted talks about my eating disorder and it’s not really very good writing anyway, I don’t feel comfortable putting it on this list. I have a multichapter holiday themed Oumami fic on the way that I will hopefully finish before the end of the year, as well as a fic I’m working on for a writing and art trade that I ABSOLUTELY need to get off my ass and work on, so those will hopefully be out by the end of 2020.

But yeah, that aside, that’s the complete list of my favourite fics from 2020. It’s been a long year and I’m glad to have stayed a member of the Danganronpa fandom through it. I really appreciate all the friends I’ve made, and the fun times I’ve had while I’ve been here.

2020 has treated me pretty terribly, haha. I met someone who I really wish I could’ve gone without, and my health has suffered, and I’m hoping to be able to start my recovery properly in 2021. Guess if I have a new year’s resolution, it’s to let go of what he did to me and start trying to get better. So I’m going to work on it! I can’t say that I think 2021 is going to be anybody’s year, but maybe it’s not about what the universe has in store for us so much as it is about what we make of it.

I hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful new year, I love you all dearly, thanks so much for the support and the laughs, and I’ll keep on hanging around and spreading my Amami propaganda.

Someone has to, haha.

[jidai]

jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #336

"get back, you’re never gonna leave him  /  get back, you’re always gonna please him”

What were your favorite things to draw when you were a lil kid? When I was a very little kid, idk. But once I got into meerkats... I drew them like crazy. Do you think there is something with or around you, like a spirit, angel, ghost or something else? How does this make you feel? No. Imagine you’re a stranger looking at yourself. What things would immediately catch your eye? Ugh, let's not. When did you feel the most confident in your life? Probably my senior year of high school. I was happy with Jason with plans for the future together, I was doing excellently in school... I thought I was really going to go somewhere. Do you think love is needed to have good sex? For some people, no. For me, loving one another is an absolute must. Do you think, or want to, die in the city you currently live in? Fuuuuuuuck no, I hate it here. What is the strangest thing you have ever encountered? Probably when I was otw home from my doctor appointment and we passed a random guy in drag walking on the side of the street... That guy is an icon. Favourite soft drink? It's really strawberry Sunkist, but I love it to a degree I don't even allow myself to drink it, because I will fucking destroy that shit so quick. So I tend to just say Mountain Dew Voltage is my fave. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy, period. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No, but it sounds fun. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhhh idk. Who depends on you the most? My snake. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Yes; William Clark and Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth, idr which. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Mom. She only has one kidney, so, y'know. She kinda needs at least one. I wouldn't even hesitate. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Unconditional love. What three things do you think of most of each day? My weight is #1. Every second of every day, it, as well as Jason, are somewhere towards the front of my mind. The final is financial and job-oriented stuff. Does/did your high school have pop machines? It did. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yeah. How often do you use Flickr? I pretty much abandoned my account; nowadays I only occasional check my friend's profile who works at the Kalahari Meerkat Project because she uploads wonderful pictures of the 'kats as well as gives interesting info about them! Who is the last child that you took a photo with? Mom took a picture of me holding my youngest niece Emerson because it surprised everyone; I NEVER hold babies. She crawled over to me and reached up though, so of course I was going to pick her up. How often do you wear hats? Never. Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Sure! Idk what, but I'm rather sure I'll get at leaast one. Is anyone in your family sick at the moment? No. Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? My older sister is a mammographer, and my younger sis is a social worker. Where is your favorite place to buy groceries? Wal-Mart, I guess. Who do you generally talk to the most? My mom. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname? Mom is "Mama Bear," and then my siblings are "Little Sister" and "Big Sister." Whose birthday is coming up? My lil sister has her birthday in April. Have you ever ordered from an informercial? No. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? I needed to get blood drawn for some testing. It was drawn from my inner elbow, obviously at the doctor. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? I never have, but it'd be fun. I enjoy puzzles. How many followers do you have on Instagram? I don't feel like checking. What’s the most recent music video you watched? Thoughts? "Mutter" by Rammstein. I picked a screenshot from it to draw, so I rewatched it to select one. It's a beautiful video, but also strange, which Rammstein is great at. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. What makeup products are your go-tos? If I wear makeup, the bare minimum is black eyeliner. Are you going to school this year? No. I gave college as many shots as I could handle both sanity-wise and with finances in mind. I do NOT want to even ATTEMPT to imagine the debt I have after going to three different colleges and dropping out each time. What is your favorite water activity? I enjoy just kinda swimming around aimlessly, relaxing. What are your favorite video games? Okay, I talk about SH2 and SotC enough on questions like this, so I'll mention some others I really enjoy as well: the Silent Hill franchise in general, Spyro games, The Last Guardian, both The Evil Withins, The Last of Us, some Resident Evil games (the 4th in particular), etc. etc. I just love video games. Do you like jello? I enjoy the flavor, but the texture makes me squirm. When was the last time you gave someone "the finger?" Probably while riding in the car with Mom when a dumb motherfucker swerved into our lane. Or something like that, idr the exact occasion. Have you ever held a snake? Yesssss, I want to hold all the snakes. ;_; Most unique place you’ve ever been to? Uh. I guess maybe the Whirligig Park/"Acid Park" nearby us? It's just this large expanse of unique architecture that are mostly, as you guessed it, extravagant whirligigs. You've got to see it if you come to the town. I have some pictures on my deviantART if you wanna see a few pieces. If you were a superhero, what color would your cape be? NO CAPES! Have you ever slept out on your porch all night? Oh fuck no. I'd feel way, way too unsafe. Do you like horror movies? Yeah! What’s your favorite Coke product? Just normal Coke. Watergun or water-balloon war? Watergun. I don't like being hit with stuff. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? I kind of am. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? I have three plushies from Jason, Tyler, and Girt. My Marilyn Manson poster is also from Juan. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don't know; I was never a big fan, so I don't know any of them as people well at all. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? I've never been drunk, but no, I've never texted an ex because I was drinking. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? I don't have one. The only instance where I had to do that was with Girt. Tall motherfucker. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? Yes. Those are the best. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Girt once tried to make out with me and I noped the fuck outta that situation. It was so fucking awkward. Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before? My nightmares definitely can. Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way? I definitely believe my mental illnesses forced me to mature faster and also instilled a great sense of empathy in me. And don't forget emotional endurance. What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line? It's dangerous and can be very blinding. An outsider could say I put Mark on a pedestal, but I've always been very aware that he's not perfect and really just another human, I just happen to love him a lot for the human he is, haha. As time's passed, my vision of him has become healthier though (not to say it ever reached the "unhealthy" threshold); it's gotten easier for me to judge him and stuff like that. I think an obsession crosses the line when you put on rose-tinted glasses to look upon someone and entirely ignore their flaws, or if you try to invade their personal lives, ex. being one of those creeps that loiter outside their houses and stuff. If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph? Ah, livin' the dream. If I had to choice and would be paid well regardless of focus, I would absolutely travel and photograph the local nature/wildlife. Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others? Shirts, 100%. Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited? When it comes to OCs, yes, given that things have been stolen from me before. Photography doesn't worry me much because I don't think I'm good enough for someone to possibly want to steal it (and besides, I use a watermark), and I do the same for drawings. It's the unique characters I make I worry about being stolen if I share them. When is the last time you did something sexual? A few years back. Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone? I haven't showered with someone since I was a little kid and my younger sister and I would to conserve water. What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road? It really makes me genuinely sad, and I always wonder if it could have been avoided if the driver was more alert, slower, and thinking about more than the damage it could cause to their car... I enjoy photographing roadkill, brutal as it may be, out of respect for them and the desire to make their individual stories known and just kind of like, raise awareness of it. Too many people are just annoyed by hitting an animal versus more concerned. "Stupid deer," stuff like that. I sometimes worry that doing so can be interpreted as disrespect, to photograph and publish pictures of their corpses online, but I sure hope not. It's the least of my intentions. I just want people to see and care. Have you ever had an ex that just didn’t understand that it was over? Biiiitch I was that ex, 120%. But besides my situation with Jason, this was how Tyler was. I had to tell him about five thousand times to stop texting me. Are your fingernails currently short or long? They're always pretty short. Would you rather have big or small dogs? I like medium-sized dogs most. I'd have to pick large dogs between the two, though. What is your favorite sports drink? I'm not a fan of sports drinks. What was the last compliment you gave a guy? Yesterday, a guy in PHP shared two poems he wrote while hospitalized, and they were wonderful, so full of passion and emotion. I sure as hell told him they were amazing. He's going for his Master's for poetry, so he knows what he's doing for real. Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It's popped on very, very few occasions. Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids “the talk”? I don't want kids, so no, I've never thought of this. I certainly wouldn't wait for sex ed in school, though. I feel like it's a bit late. I feel children need to know what it's about at a younger age with how disgusting some people are... I want them to be informed on what consent and molestation are so they know to let Mama know so I can punch someone's face into a whole new galaxy if they're ever violated. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something? Oh, always. Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did as a kid, sure. Not so much now. If you were married, and your spouse’s parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? If they were truly sick enough to need assistance but not actual hospitalization, yes. I'd want my spouse to do the same for me. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yyyyep. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Did you actually have a cookie jar? We have a Santa one, though I don't even know if we ever used it versus just having it as a decoration. What’s worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? Bottom lip. Do you think that knowing when and how you’re going to die would ruin your life? "Ruin" it seems a bit extreme, but I definitely wouldn't like it. Do you have a favorite bromance? From TV or a movie. Not really, if we're only talking those two options. Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? Yeah, you really can find the coolest shit for great prices. What color is your wallet? Mostly red and white; it's a Harley Quinn design. Have you ever been somebody's photography subject? No. Nicki Minaj fan? I believe she's a very talented rapper, but I don't enjoy her actual music. I just don't like rap. Have you ever seen the Niagara Falls? No, I wish tho.

[purplesurveys]

1142

survey by tickticktmr

Do you have a digital camera? What color is it? No, haven’t held one in years. The last digital camera we had was a bit of a magenta shade; it actually belonged to my sister but I borrowed it occasionally.

Did you like the movie Juno? It was ok, though to be honest I’ve mostly forgotten what it’s about. I remember fairly liking it but it’s not the type of movie or genre I’d rewatch.

Name something you think is way over-rated: Big Macs, which I’ve never found tasty.

Do you remember your first friend? Yes, it was a girl named Kaye that I sat with in preschool. She didn’t stay too long in my school, so I haven’t been able to reconnect.

Would you rather live with your mom, dad, a friend or on your own? On my own.

Name something your pet(s) like: Walks.

Do you listen to country music? No, I don’t.

What does the color white remind you of? Peace, serenity, doves, minimalist homes.

What show/movie/song makes you cry every time? Show: From Brooklyn Nine-Nine - either the episode where Rosa Diaz comes out as bisexual or the episode where Terry gets racially profiled.

Movie: La vita e bella.

Song: There isn’t one song that makes me cry 100% of the time, but I suppose Why We Ever by Hayley Williams had this effect on me for a time.

What was your last fight about? I spilled a drop of our dinner’s soup on the dinner table last Thursday and my mom did a sufficient job making me feel incompetent and a dumbass about it, so I was hurt by it and didn’t speak a word for the rest of the evening. Not really a fight, but y’know.

Do you text a lot? I used to not but anymore. I usually get prepaid for LTE now, not to have credits for texts.

Have you ever been screamed at by a teacher? Many times. A number of them didn’t like me for whatever reason...

Do you smile or scowl more? I definitely try to smile more, but idk for sure if that’s what I do more frequently.

Obama or Bush? Idk, maybe Obama? Considering we were colonized by the US at one point and imperialism remains to linger in my country, I generally don’t take kindly to any US president, though.

Batman or Superman? I don’t like comic books.

Are you excited about Blink 182 getting back together? I don’t follow the band so I’m not sure how recent or relevant this news is, but  generally speaking I don’t remember ever being stoked for a Blink-182 comeback in particular.

Would you rather be a teacher, a stripper or a hairdresser? I’d go with teacher, and preferably of history, so that I at least can have an hour or so to talk about my passion with other people lol.

The last person you spoke to: how many times have they made you cry? Just once.

What's your favorite kind of gum? The classic bubblegum flavor is fine with me.

Have you ever failed a class in school? Just exams, but never altogether an entire class that required me to retake.

Are you even in school? No, not anymore.

Are you taller then your best friend? No haha, I’m slightly tinier than both of them.

Are you scared of spiders? I’d be scared probably of the larger kinds, but all we get here are the super small spiders so this isn’t an issue for me for the most part.

You can't eat anything ever again except for jello or apples: which one? Probably apples. I cannot stand the texture of jelly/Jell-O, and I guess I can move past my dislike of fruits for this situation since apple is kinda decent anyway.

Have you ever cheated on anyone? No, never man.

If you answered yes to the last question, do they know about it?

Do you paint your nails often? I never do and I never have them done either.

Mascara or lipgloss? Er lipgloss I guess, since I literally don’t care how my eyelashes look.

Who’s the last person you called? I think it had been Denise, a co-worker. 

Describe the last person who sent you a text: It was just the delivery guy who brought Ysa’s gift to my place, so I don’t know enough about him to be able to give a sufficient description.

Do you ever watch TV shows or movies on YouTube? No, because for the most part they would be high- or low-pitched, in a tiny screen, sped up, zoomed in, or altogether fake. I also don’t understand why buying movies individually on YouTube is still a thing when Netflix exists for literally cheaper.

Myspace or facebook? Uh Facebook, I guess.

How old were you when you lost your first tooth? I was around 5 or 6, I think.

Have you ever embarassed yourself in front of someone you like? Yeah. But when I started dating them, fucking up in front of them became less embarrassing, of course.

Describe your hair right now: Wet and slightly dripping since I just stepped out of the shower.

Do you like it when it rains? Yes, it’s my favorite weather.

Does anyone miss you right now? I hope my friends do...but I can’t say for sure.

How many funerals have you been to? None. Just wakes.

Where's your favorite place to hang out? Depends on the vibe I’m feeling for the day and the company I’ve got.

Have you ever laughed so hard you peed in your pants? Oh gee, never.

Do you like video games? What's your favorite one? I was raised around video games and so much of my childhood was watching my kuya, dad, and a number of my uncles completing games, so I definitely hold a big appreciation and fondness for them. I never inherited any skills of my own though lmao, so I mostly watch walkthroughs; and the only video games I’ve ever met considerable progress on are Nintendo games marketed for all audiences HAHAHA.

Have you ever worn something your parents wouldn't approve of? Yeah I’ve gotten chided by my mom a handful of times, telling me to cover up with a jacket or something. But her reasoning was always men, so I’m usually able to defend myself and say that that’s not my problem and that’s something fucking men have to deal with themselves. We both know I’m right so she ends up begrudgingly letting me go out with whatever outfit I choose on that given day.

Where are your sibling(s)? They are in their respective bedrooms.

When's the last time a friend got dumped/dumped someone? September. That friend was Gabie and the dumpee was me hahahah, does that count?

Do you celebrate Valentine's day? If I have a significant other, yeah. I like keeping our activities lowkey though because from all my past experiences, malls and restaurants tend to get fully booked on February 14 and it ends up being more of a (very crowded) hassle than a celebration.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yep.

Does it snow where you live? Never.

Have you ever wanted a pet unicorn? I never did, actually.

Would you like to work to earn money, or simply have money given to you? The latter is obviously the ideal situation, but I recognize the importance of hard work too and constantly working on my skills.

If you could be on any game show, what one would it be? Jeopardy or Family Feud.

Do you know anyone whose famous? Yes, at least locally.

Do you read those gossip magazines? I used to, lol those were my guilty pleasures back then. I still keep up with celebrity updates, but I’ve moved to social media now. I also filter which publications I consume and avoid the tabloid-y ones like Daily Mail.

Summer or winter? I’d go with winter so that I can actually experience it for once.

What do you hear right now? I’m watching an archived Facebook livestream of a senior citizen who had held a virtual piano concert to raise funds to afford his maintenance medicine. The media ate it up like crazy and it’s since gone viral, so I was able to I read about him earlier tonight. He reminds me so much of my late grandpa so I quickly searched for the finished concert on Facebook and now I have it on :)

When's the last time you saw a cousin? Around two weeks ago.

Where were you the last time you left your house? I can’t remember exactly. I think I went to Feliz...OH OK I remember now - I originally went to the nearby SM to handle an LBC delivery for work, and to stay at Starbucks for a few hours also to work. After that I went to their vape stall to buy new pods but they didn’t have any for the vape brand I use, so I went to Feliz as well to try my chances there. They ended up having a few flavors but not what I usually get, so I decided to try a new one - grape lol.

Describe the room you are in: Dark, filled with the lovely sounds of piano music, and the faint smell coming from my scented candle. Overall, light and peaceful.

What shoes did you wear today? I wore my Onitsukas when I walked Cooper this morning.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Raphael and madzie!! please I will sell you my firstborn for some Raphael and madzie content. Like him babysitting and sleepovers and playing dress up and watching Disney movies together. Raphael wearing this tiara and him and madzie playing together. Baking and singing together, going on trips to the park together and Raphael just being so happy.-

-Like if you think about it they are technically cousins🤔 with the whole found family thing, Catarina and Magnus are siblings Raphael is Magnus’ son ergo madzie and Raphael are cousins but they still think of each other as siblings. Raphael is her big brother! Please🥺

ok anon i hope you know that you are literally my new favorite person in the whole wide world and this ask is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i will literally never shut the fuck up about raphael and madzie i will make this brotp a thing if it KILLS me just you watch

idk if id say they are technically cousins because i don’t know if catarina and magnus consider themselves siblings - definitely family for sure, but i get the feeling it’s more of a “generic” family feeling rather than a Specific Dynamic you know? but either way this is found family so it’s not like family tree/architecture is actually that stiff and matters that much, RAPHAEL IS MADZIE’S BIG BRO idc

and it’s literally canon that raphael is the best, most thoughtful, caring and dedicated older brother so like!!! honestly it’s what madzie deserves. she has a wonderful mom (two if you subscribe to dotarina raising madzie together <3) and underful uncles and a wonderful brother who is always on her side and would do anything for her, and that! is! fantastic! 

especially because like madzie is implied to be used to big families, since iris was going around making an army of warlocks basically lmao and like of course that was an abusive family dynamic but the point is that she was used to having siblings. but she was also implied to be the eldest and now she is the youngest! and she gets to have a nice big bro who takes care of her and plays with her and has her as a priority and i just 🥺🥺🥺

and god not to be a slut for raphael and rosa but i picture raphael just telling madzie all that he could about rosa?? you know??? he’s all like “you have an older sister too, you know? it’s a shame you never got to meet” and madzie kind of tilts her head and asks him to tell her about it. so raphael does. he sits down with her and shows her pictures of the both of them together from their childhood up until her death, and he tells her all the stories he possibly can. he says, “she would have loved you just as much as me. she always wanted to be someone’s older sister. said she wanted to take care of them like i take care of her” and madzie is all like “she sounds sweet. i wanted to know her, too” and raphael tears up slightly and he’s like “yeah. yeah. me too, cariño” and she hugs him

and like not to slut over this but i like to think that raphael teaches madzie about the monarch butterflies and día de los muertos and one day they are playing outside and a monarch lands on madzie?? and madzie calls it “rosa” and the butterfly is just flying over her head, alternating between her and raphael, for the whole afternoon? and raphael chokes up. fuck it all the legends are true, i love this alright

just like.... obviously raphael’s relationship with madzie is not some kind of substitute for his relationship with rosa, because madzie deserves better than that and no one can be rosa but rosa. raphael loves madzie for madzie, because she is sweet but fierce, extremely intelligent and with a playful/slightly mischievous (in a good way) side that is slowly blooming as time goes by and she heals from her abuse more and more. she is also good, endlessly caring, kind, compassionate, imaginative, affectionate. madzie is madzie and that’s all she needs to be. but the idea that raphael has someone to share rosa with, even if madzie obviously doesn’t feel about her the same way raphael did as they never met, but to bring her into this new family in a way... and let madzie knows that she also has another sibling looking out for her, even if from another plane... that’s nice and good food okay. and i think madzie would want to know about her, just like she tells raphael about her other siblings from when she lived with iris, even if they never got to be too close (cuz i doubt iris would risk letting them become very close and eventually realize her abuse and possibly rebel against her) 

maybe it’s madzie herself who brings it up, she asks raphael about the pictures in his home or about his “ave rosa” plaque 🥺 and he tells her about it and makes sure that she knows that he doesn’t love rosa more or less than he does madzie, just differently. they are both his little sisters no matter what

anyway! onto more rapha&madzie focused headcanons. first of all you are so correct about playing dress up and shit, raphael is a SIMP and a sucker for his lil sis so he absolutely will wear a tiara if she asks no questions asked. simon sees it one time and he doesn’t even consider making fun of him because raphael shoots him a glare that absolutely reads as “i double dare you, motherfucker”. not because uwu girly stuff just because he has this whole serious vibe and there he is with a tiara and tiny braids. we stan

also look i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, raphael absolutely learns how to handle black/kinky hair for madzie. he was used to doing rosa’s hair but that was very likely straight or just wavy hair. madzie’s hair texture is different and raphael makes it a point to learn everything he can about how to take care of it and make hairstyles that she might like and won’t hurt her, okay? and yes i know that madzie straightens her hair but i like to think that over time she stops. i kinda headcanon that one of the reasons she did it was to look closer to iris, plus just the fact that as a white abuser i doubt she exactly planted it on madzie to love her natural hair. but over time living with catarina and being closer to a mostly-poc family and seeing maia and other beautiful black women with their natural hair and/or afro hairstyles, she stops straightening it, and everyone encourages her, raphael included. he even uses that, like, “i’ve been learning how to do these hairstyles for you, you know” and he shows her some and she gets so excited about trying them and it’s great

(initially he has catarina’s supervision, because again black hair is important and even if raphael is a moc he’s still nonblack. but catarina trusts him and he’s always so careful and makes sure to always listen to what she says, asks questions and all but takes notes lmao, so it works) 

and baking!!! i mean look madzie is gonna be naturally prone to liking to bake, as a warlock and shit. and if regular kids already play with making potions, warlock kids are definitely even worse, especially because she does see catarina, dot, and magnus doing that all the time so it’s one of the things that she likes to mimick. and baking is basically potion making but edible and solid lmao. but like she loves it, mixing the batter, adding sprinkles, seeing as the textures change and the taste builds and stuff like that, you know? she’s definitely fascinated by it especially because she does it without magic and it’s just, wow, so cool to her?? and raphael as the cook that he is is more than happy to teach her, bake with her, and see her enthusiasm. raphael with oven mitts taking a batch of cookies out of the oven yall. i need a second

and like i absolutely subscribe to genius madzie because LOOK that girl is endlessly fucking smart and so intelligent especially for her age, not to mention powerful and observant and just, she’s brilliant. and with both catarina and magnus, huge nerd extraordinaires, and possibly maia because i like to pepper in the fact that maia and raphael are dating, she gets all the incentive she could possibly want to want to learn about both mundane science and magical theory

but in short like! raphael getting her those chemistry sets for kids, you know? where you have some recipes and you can mix up ingredients and they change color or otherwise change and shit? my friend had one of those when we were kids and my god i loved it so much, i was just fascinated. i think madzie definitely would love it, and raphael knows that she will, so he takes a whole day off for when he brings her this gift because he knows they will be playing all afternoon. and they do! she’s super excited about it and raphael as usual is all careful and teaching her how to do it properly without spilling and taking the measures appropriately and stuff. and it’s super sweet

initially they follow the recipes and raphael’s autistic ass is just delighted to do that, but madzie quickly starts doing some #improv, and again, because she is a genius, she quickly starts to figure out what each substance does. so she’s texting theories, trying out experimenting, seeing if she’s right, trying to asses her work? you know? basically literally a mini scientist using the scientific method and stuff and raphael is so proud of her and in awe of how smart she is and he tells her that she’s the smartest kid he’s ever met and kisses her forehead and she giggles and is just super excited?? 

also sometimes she asks raphael what he thinks and he’s just like “uhhh” because he has no idea lmao he’s just happy to see her do her thing and help her with the practical parts. and she giggles at him and she’s lowkey outraged but again, she’s just sweet and he loves her

i also 100% think it was madzie who figured out a potion to make raphael able to eat (oh look what is this fic that mentions that doing here) because FUCK mundane raphael all my homies hate mundane raphael, the heavenly fire made him a daylighter. and she could see how sad raphael was that he didn’t get to eat at all, especially because he clearly loved food and he always had this sort of longing when they were cooking together, you know? it also made her sad that he couldn’t try her cooking, and he was always telling her that to cook, you need to always taste what you’re making, and once she says “but you can’t do that” and he looked so sad she immediately felt bad about it, even if obviously it isn’t her fault

anyway my point is she knows how much this means for raphael and she wants him to be able to eat human food again, both for him and for herself. so she spends a long time studying vampire anatomy/digestive system, food properties, and magic, and she eventually figures out a potion that he can take before a meal that makes him able to eat. it goes slowly, initially he can only drink, but eventually she does figure out a way to make him eat anything and he just cries like a baby tbh. she is worried for a second but then he takes her in his arms and hugs her fiercely and peppers kisses on her face and says that this is one of the best things anyone’s ever done for him and that he’ll “forever be in her debt” or something that makes her laugh because raphael doesn’t owe her anything, he’s her brother. and he tears up all over again

of course that takes some years but they’re immortal so who cares. and catarina is SO proud of her little genius for that, too. raphael and maia include the potion as courtesy for any vampire who orders food at taki’s and share the recipe and it’s just a small revolution in the vampire world and madzie is already making history like hot damn. GENIUS MADZIE OKAY

but of course first and foremost she is a kid and deserves to be a kid, i just love her being naturally curious and interesting in researching and learning and stuff. but of course they also play a lot, and keep trying to out-cheat each other as she has magic and he has super abilities and the game becomes more seeing who can cheat the most and get away with it than anything else lol. and it’s its own brand of fun

also, raphael keeps trying to get madzie to eat healthy but the second he averts his eyes she’s like “abrakadabra this is now ice cream” and he’s SO frustrated. absolutely nothing can stop her from doing it. “if you eat these carrots i’ll buy you ice cream later”. guess what she can just turn it into ice cream now. your tactics are meaningless

also madzie playing dressing up! and she wants to be Stylish like her mom and her big bro and her uncle magnus but of course she’s a kid so her sense of style is essentially book magnus lmao but raphael 100% indulges her in all her endeavours and helps her make her outrageous outfits and shit. she likes colorful stuff as we’ve seen and he paints her nails and stuff. sometimes she makes herself mini suits mimicking or straight up matching raphael’s and raphael thinks it’s the cutest thing. especially when she like, imitates his blazer but keeps wearing a boa as well or something. aioudjsauihda i love kids and fashion can you tell

and she sometimes picks out clothes for him and guess what? raphael 100% wears them because it’s madzie and he is s o f t for her

and singing!!! and DANCING!!! there is no way raphael can’t dance no matter how hard he tries to pretend otherwise, and between him, dot, and magnus, madzie just loves to dance and becomes a great dancer in no time. raphael loves twirling her around. also him teaching her the jarabe tapatío you can’t tell me that she wouldn’t be all over that shit. the playing with the dress, the bright colors, dancing around the sombrero.... bitch she would love it. and they have so much fun doing their little improvised version of that and she claps and he has his hands behind his back and has the greatest smile on his face and she’s having so much fun

also raphael loves reading for her!!!! and eventually when they move away from reading books with pictures she starts creating her own “holograms” to illustrate the stories with magic, and raphael is so proud of her!! she’s just immensively creative and makes such beautiful illustrations for the stories and as raphael reads she changes around the setting she’s creating and it’s so fun and they both like it so much?? and she eventually falls asleep on his lap and he tucks her in and kisses her forehead and 🥺🥺

she also likes to paint and idk why but i have a feeling that raphael fucking sucks at painting, so that’s funny and he smiles and says that she has so much more talent than him... 

and every time they are together raphael has the hugest smile on, it just doesn’t leave his face for a second. especially when they are playing outside in the sun and he just so fucking happy and basking in the warmth and playing with her, you know? and as madzie grows older, talking and just chilling together as well? you know? he just loves her so much and his cheeks almost hurt by the end and just aaaaaaaaa they are the sibling dynamic we DESERVE and DEMAND 

[terminally-karkalicious]

allow me to rant about the only thing that has been in my brain for the past two months and that is doll customizing babeyyyyy

i know there’s a 90% chance that you wont give a Shit about any of this but here we go anyways

SO first you gotta choose a doll. preferably one with a high range of motion to avoid creating new joints or having annoying limitations like not having elbow joints for some fucking reason. what the fuck mattel. give monster high dolls back their ball jointed shoulders and elbow joints. smh

the most common dolls ive seen used as bases are monster high and ever after high. most customs ive seen are highly stylized so the stylized face molds work well for those types of dolls but dolls like barbies are good for when you want a more realistic face-ups.

once you’ve got your base picked out you gotta wipe that bitch’s face off with like. acetone or nail polish remover or something strong like that. you can also use acetone to shrink doll heads which is cool as hell imo. n e way once the face is wiped you gotta chop off the hair and remove the hair plugs from the inside. ive seen this done several ways but the easiest and most common way ive seen is to dunk the head into boiling water for ~30 seconds until it gets squishy and malleable. once you’ve got the head back, you can use pliers (i think tweezers would work in a pinch) to pull out the hair plugs which are kinda icky because theyre covered in glue and other gross shit. ew

now you must decapitate the doll. dunk em back in the boiling water to soften them back up then just tug the head off. the neck pegs look funky and are usually a different color than the body so thats cool ig

once the head’s off, you can start the face-up which is basically just giving the doll a new face using stuff like watercolor pencils, acrylic paint, gouache, and a whole lot of other stuff. hell ive seen people use person makeup on these dolls.

next,,,,, hair. there’s about twenty million ways to do hair from gluing yarn wefts to sewing to rerooting with purchased nylon doll hair or yarn wefts but i’m gonna talk about the most common one ive seen which is rerooting and gluing.

before you can reroot, you need doll hair. which, as i mentioned, can be bought at stores like the doll planet or made at home with yarn in literally any color. have fun with it! make rainbow hair or something idk

to make homemade wefts, you take some acrylic yarn, cut it twice as long as you want the hair to be (keep in mind you can cut and style the hair once it’s been rerooted), fold them in half, and tie it to something sturdy like a wire coat hanger for the next step.

once you’ve got your yarn tied to your hanger, use a pet brush and brush the yarn until it’s wispy and looks like hair. then take a straightening iron and iron the weft flat. then remove from the hanger and boom. hair wefts. ta-da

to reroot the wefts onto the head, use a rerooting tool (which can be as simple as a needle with the eye cut at angle) (just google it please i’m shit at descriptions)) to poke small sections of the hair into the head. you can use the pre-existing rooting holes for your own reroot as they’re usually pretty reliable. to reroot, take a small length of you doll hair (about 10-15 strands), loop it in half, and put the middle of the loop into the reroot tool. poke the end of the tool with the hair on it into the pre-existing hole and remove the tool. the hair *should* stay in and fill up that plug!! also remember to plug thickly at the hairline and part of the hair where it's most noticeable. it doesnt matter as much in the center of the head as that’s not usually visible on the doll. once you’ve rerooted, squeeze in strong glue through the neck hole and squish around the head to make sure it covers all the plugs and secures them in place. then pour hot water onto the head to make the hair lay flat for styling later.

also, you can reroot yarn directly into the head to make thicker, more textured hairstyles. and since the yarn is thicker, you dont need to glue the inside of the head for the hair to stay in place!!

if youre not doing body modifications (which are also cool as hell) then it’s time for clothes but clothes are boring and i like body mods more so i’m gonna rant about them instead

the material ive seen most doll artists use is apoxie sculpt, which is like play doh on steroids. it comes in two parts which you gotta mix together for some reason. why dont they sell it pre-mixed. what was the reason. also once it’s dry it’s super super strong and you can sand it, drill into it, paint it, and all kinds of stuff. very nice and i want some for myself.

you can use hand saws and drills and shit to whack off doll limbs to make stuff like digitigrade legs or new joints. also dont be afraid to use other mismatching doll parts when customizing like heads and bodies and forearms and hands and shit. it literally does not matter if youre gonna recolor the doll anyways so have fun with it. make frankenstein’s doll if youre feeling spicy

accessories my beloved. stuff like tiny beads and clay baubles and shit will literally transform the entire doll plus they’re adorable and multi-purpose

i suppose i must talk about clothes now. ah well. you can find great clothing patterns if youre new to customizing on other customizer’s etsy shops and probably google although those will probably be lower quality than paid pattern pieces. and keep in mind that if it exists as clothing irl, you can likely make it doll-sized. there are literally no limits to your clothing options as long as you can execute your idea.

the once all your components have been made, you can assemble the doll again!! and finally see what all the parts look like together!! very cool 10/10 stars.

ight that wraps up my doll rant. i could really go into more detail on certain parts but thats a whole other rant for a whole other day smh. sorry for fucking flooding your inbox ender ahaha……………. you asked for this

little did you know that dolls have been one of my favorite things since like ever. if i can read a 25 chapter long fanfic i can read this B)

mattel definitely fucked up by completely ruining MH doll designs and just stopping EAH, alot of their profits most likely came from people who collect and customize dolls and by changing MH doll designs/Stopping EAH dolls they 1. most likely lost a small (or big if we're not jus talking people who customize dolls) part of their profit and 2. made it harder for doll customizers to make dolls/get commissions out rather quickly because they probably have to waste more time making joints or learning how to make joints.

EAH/MH dolls (specifically MH dolls) had AMAZING MODELS because there was so much variety with height, face shapes, etc (my favorite molds had to be the short/tall dolls and the cat molds because of the tails) and doll customizers really went all out with enhancing a molds unique features. The only "downside" abt MH dolls is that they (or atleast most)(from what i remember)) had slimmer faces but wider eyes while EAH dolls have wider faces with slimmer smaller which left a canvas for the face and not the eyes (and vice versa for MH dolls)

I've never seen any videos where a barbie is customized (maybe because i absolutely despised barbies at the time) so I'll definitely have to check those out but they seem to be good for realistic makeovers. I've seen like like semi realistic makeovers for EAH/MH dolls that were pretty good too tho (pretty sure mostly EAH dolls since yk MH dolls were used for creature makeovers while most EAH dolls weren't)

yeah i was always amazed by the head shrinking with acetone. honestly i still am?? idunno i have no idea how that chemical bullshit works. Ive seen a few of uh makeovers that just pain over the face (in multiple layers ofcourse) but that's usually when they're painting the entire body a different colour (again usually when they're turning a doll into a funky little baby man). I've also seen a few that just chop the hair off and take out the hair plugs yk without uuh like softening the head or just go straight for the hair plugs after taking off the head (i used to do that it was funny to me??). i always really liked when they used watercolour pencils or just colour pencils in general to draw/sketch on the face cause like wow ur drawing on ur doll without ruining it?? kinda epic maybe even poggers and pogchamp?? oh god my brain is failing wjshsmsj.

Watching them putting the hair back on the doll was, other than the face stuff, was the BEST part for me. Favorite type of hair was iuuuuuh was either thick yarn or brushed out yarn. Literally worship the people that would reroot the hair, theyre the most patience people on this earth!! it's literally insane but i guess that's what happens when you've been doing that for years? you guess kinda get used to it. when they put glue into the head does it just become stiff?? like it's just a clump of dried glue or does it like..hollow out again??

dude you literally cannot convince me most of the supplies used for doll makeovers. APOXIE CLAY LOOKS SO FECKING GOOD. its edible and i will die on that hill. The body mods are literally so amazing!!!!! it's so impressive how theyre able to imagine certain features THEN LIKE ACTUALLY MAKE IT LOOK ACCURATE TO WHAT THEY WANTED TO LOOK LIKE AFTER LIKE ON TRY (or many yk trial and error is very necessary for..everything). Absolutely loved when doll customizers would saw off a dolls legs and use different ones or just completely get rid of the torso to use a different one. it's like uuh that one big guy that's mismatched and sewn together. very cool. The accessories are so fun!! just small little details you seen really need but can add because it's your feckin doll!! I used to be absolutely obsessed over the doll clothes i would find on etsy, so much so that i started sewing shitty shirts and dresses for my uh "customized" dolls (they were absolute HORRORS idk WHY my mom let me feck up my dolls like that).

Thank you for this!! i haven't been able to talk about any of my interests for a while and this just really made me happy!!

Question fer u my fellow MH/EAH enthusiast: what was your favorite MH/EAH movie/episode and doll series. Mine was The fusion dolls (MH obvi) and that MH movie "Haunted" cause we got to know more about Spectra :D

[lunasaturnine]

just a little racial processing

i am white and i have racism ingrained pretty deeply, not in that i dislike black people or other races but in that i really do fr think of white ppl as being the default, and what i do to combat that in my own life is i sit on social media and i stare at and like and reblog pics of black people because i want to change my perception because my perception is SMALL. i especially do this with pics of black people doing super normal things bc i feel like they are really exoticized in the media, either as hooligans or hard-living heroes... instead of just normal people enjoying freedom and prosperity, learning things, etc. i know that black ppl have unique stories and normalcy for them doesnt always match normalcy for white ppl but basic human things are really important to see. 

i have also become more aware of the concept of generational wealth and how black ppl were all set up to start building it after slavery until the jim crow laws came around and strangled that possibility. i have NOT been PROACTIVE or ACTIVE about any of this but at least i am Aware of it. i do not make any conscious efforts to support black small businessppl over others but i really think that is because that isnt an area that gets a lot of my attention in general, bc im kind of overwhelmed by consumerism and i dont have a clear idea of whats going on with my own money and buying deliberately intimidates me. buying purposefully from black owned businesses is always something i think im going to do more of in the future haha.

but also, in my consuming images/content/whatever passively on social media, the idea of wealth and generational wealth being important specifically to black people (less so to white ppl, so many of whom have it...not all but so many including my mom’s family...NOT my dad’s at all but totally my moms) has made it so i consume w/ interest and support media where black people are talking about money and financial literacy and entrepreneurship. that is an area i view as a different lens from how i view the same topic with white people. #blackownedbusiness is a really powerful concept and i feel responsibility as a consumer to support it, but i havent really yet.

i feel like my perspective is basically pretty balanced. i know how it feels to be racist in the passive, ignorant way and i know how it feels for education to change my perspectives. i get it when black people say they just want to live and they dont want to explain themselves over and over, that they’re not white people’s teachers. i have heard them ask white people to step up and do that. so that is something i have done a LITTLE of. i am better at communicating than buying, i am like quite good at it. like when i worked for a coffee shop i was SO good at harmonizing w/ petty customers b/c i sort of am a petty customer lol. so i feel like that is a role i can step into and excel in... helping ignorant white people learn. i feel like my voice is uniquely harmonious and nonaccusatory.

im not interested in converting majorly racist people. there are MORE just passively racist ppl, and they’re more dangerous in some ways, and also they’re way easier for me personally to work with. i dont have the everyday exhaustion of dealing with ppl’s ignorance so i have leftover energy to engage with it directly. 

i think that racism and otherism is at the core of all the wounds in the world right now. there are leftover tribal fears that have never been worked through, all over the world. in america of course there are all kinds of different racisms but the main one is black ppl vs white ppl. 

1. black ppl are formerly enslaved so that’s hard for white people to deal with in the first place b/c it’s hard to deal with your own bad karma, it’s hard to face the fact that you live well because you subjugated humans (you as a social group, not personally... although of course many things in my life are good becasue of the benefits to my ancestors and my social group). honestly, slaveholder/colonialist karma is nasty. it’s trauma...it’s its own kind of trauma. im not saying slaveowner/colonialist people should be thought of as innocent victims bc they are traumatized bc of the shitty thing they did. im just describing the situation... they have fucked up stuff that needs safe processing as well, we are all connected and when we hurt others, we also hurt ourselves.

2. black people are visibly different from white ppl moreso than other races are (thats a generalization but, idk skin is a large and very visible organ and pigment is really visible and it’s easier to visually “otherize” ppl for being dark, also hair texture is very visible) so they are very easy to “code” as “other.” physical responses are very base and subconscious and the body learns them, so it’s super easy for the body to develop prejudices b/c of social behavior, and then the mind just goes ahead and encodes them like it always does lol. going off of this point, i recentlyish (march) started listening to nina simone... this is how fucking ignorant i am, she is basically the first black person to artistically touch me deeply and directly (aside from victor wooten’s book). and she is so black, like very very dark, and all of her facial features are distinctive to black people. and to hear her state plainly that she thinks black people are the most beautiful people in the world ... also to see her face saying that... it helps my body unlearn things. on the one hand it sucks that we have prejudice in our society so engrained that literally someone’s face can be an act of defiance. on the other hand, holy shit, how amazing is it that someone’s radiant fucking face can have the power to heal social wounds. not totally heal, but contribute to them. 

3. LBJ and fucking nixon and all of those assholes, all of these fucking laws, law enforcers, government planted conspiracy theories in place to keep white people hatig black people and perceiving them as criminals, and also, strangling black people’s efforts at gaining wealth and grounding themselves in society so so much energy had to get redirected into shitty unrewarding labor and also crime (though crime rates have been exaggerated) like... and then the deliberate assassination of ALL the black builders of self esteem in the 60s 70s (80s?)... racist forces have been AT! WORK! HARD AT FUCKING WORK! FOR A WHILE! so of course we have racist wounds bc they were NOT fucking worked through after the civil war and in fact they were like nursed open and made to be infected because the stupid ass government thought racism was necessary for society to run. on the one hand, that SUCKS and it’s SHITTY.....

.............On the other hand it’s the most hopeful thing EVER.... because they  worked so hard to keep us apart from each other. like really hard. do u know what that means?

--A. it’s a justification that humanity and brotherhood is powerful as. fuck.

--B. it’s an acknowledgment that ... people have to work really hard to keep us the fuck apart from each other. really hard.

the internet is going to make it impossible for us to keep hating each other. things are going to happen and they are going to be good. but we have to do it, we have to inhabit it. we have to be present for and communicative of the changes that happen inside us, so others can see it and harmonize. harmonization makes things louder.

hmmmmmm.