#idk them either so its even scarier
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babyblue-mind · 3 months ago
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waiting for a phone call you have no idea when will come is the most mortifying human experience
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nomairuins · 2 months ago
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ill be like I can totally make a lighthearted post mentioning a kink i have and i wont even freak abt it. and then i freak abt it
#its not even one of the ones i normally freak abt. fml. fml. its spreading. eventually i wont even be able to say Strals exist without going#into system shutdown or something. this sucks#this is also why i have so much trouble posting on my nsft is ill go over there and be like. Id love to **** some ***** and then i get#terrified. so i dont#my pfp over there is literally. **** ******* ** * *** but i go over there to post abt how i want to **** * *** and im like that is deviant#i cannot be saying that in front of my followers. who dollowed my nsft blog. where i list the things im into . and my pfo is * **** *******#** * *** so its not like theyd be HORRIFIED if that came up#but idk... i worry ppl dont read my dni over there. bc usually they just follow me after seeing that one post which doesnt rly mention any#of the ones im weird abt. except for like kind of it does but whatever its fine i cannottt freak out abt that post its existed for like.#months now. sigh. its all just a bit embarassing which sucks#“mdni”#IN A MASSIVE WAY. idr if any minors still r here if im still muts with any....#its just like. IDK i either feel a bit silly posting on it and its just mildly embarass Or i send myself into hysterics over how im an evil#person bc i like. well i cant say. obviously. but yk. stufffff. that i am into. I HATE TALKING ABT IT BC IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN EVIL#PERSON AND LIKE. its not anything like. UGH. im not into kids or animals 👍👍👍 obviously. and idt its that bad the things im into some of#them r like basically baby shit like ohhh woww youre into *********** and yet even that i cant talk abt it bc im like um im going to be#smited by god and sent to hell or soemthing and actually i only thing its normal bc im a disgusting weird freak and everybody would kill me#immediately if they knew also im an evil person? its like. UGHHHH.#and the other stuff is. less 'mainstream' which is even scarier but ig in a way ive been More open abt it which is kind of funny. looks at.#but even then i dont rly go in detail bc yk. Stuff. im just like lol they r the way they r bc of how i am. and then i walk away forever#idk. ive been feeling so guilty over that specifically like. UGH. its not like. ugh. i rly cant talk abt it without it being obvious and im#scared byt im also like Compelled to talk abt it so ppl dont think its worse but im also compelled not to bc thats like oversharing i guess#as if thta isnt All i do on this fuckass blog. no matter what i do i lose. i hate my brain so badly i wish i could judt get over it and jus#be like yep these r the things and not have to like over clarify and explain and disclaimer everything and stuff . idk. it suck#mdni#the quotes didnt take it to the top like they used to. kms
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siriusblack-the-third · 7 months ago
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Matching Misfortunes: Peter Pevensie
I binged read and watched the Narnia books and films, and idk what possessed me but I wrote. so. Let's go. Please check out the other parts for the other siblings!
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Peter’s skin itches.
He heaves even breaths through his nose as he leans back to avoid the sloppy punch Easton throws at him, and stops himself from going for the throat for the third time in half as many seconds.
This is the fourth fight he has gotten himself dragged into since term began on Monday. It is Wednesday today, and Peter’s blood pounds in his ears, through his limbs and his flexing fingers as he holds back; doesn’t hit hard, doesn’t go for the liver or the heart or the head, does not give into the bloodlust that whispers siren songs of battle and blood-covered blades in his ears. He stops himself, clenching his fists and dodging the abysmal hits from the three boys that surround him, and refuses to lift a hand against these insolent children.
He is a King.
He is a boy stuck in a schoolyard brawl he did not start.
Peter’s skin itches.
He wants to claw it off— he imagines that this is what snakes must feel when their body gets much too big for their scales, and they have to go through the painful process of shedding their outer layer and come out stronger and larger. He suppresses a grim twist of his lips as he kicks out— harmlessly, wrestling against the lust that sings a song of death in his ears— at that idiot Michael’s knee to send him sprawling to the ground with a yelp, and thinks that what he went through was rather the opposite, really. He grew up, and then was forced into a body too unfamiliar, too awkward, too inexperienced. Too young.
He was a King.
He is a boy stuck in a body too unscarred to be a King’s.
Kenneth lunges forward to try and grab him around the waist. Peter easily steps out of the way, the part of him that is a seasoned warrior clawing to the forefront of his mind simply to scoff at the graceless flailing of limbs that these children call fighting. Lucy could do better.
Lucy did do better, twelve years ago. Or maybe it was five years ago.
The timelines blur together, in his mind; he can no longer tell whether he is in England or Narnia. He is wearing his school uniform and he is wearing his royal garments, he is walking the halls of Westbrook County Boarding School and he is walking the halls of Cair Paravel. He holds the blunted school practice broadsword in his hand and he holds the razor-sharp Rhindon in his calloused hands, he is a boy and he is a King.
“Fight back,” Easton snarls, dark brown hair falling out of its previously carefully styled place, and Peter thinks of how he has seen scarier Mice dig their teeth into the throats of Minotaurs and suck them dry of blood. He blinks, and the image of him sinking his own teeth into Easton’s throat flashes across his mind’s eye. He blinks again, and he’s back on this makeshift battleground where the mice are gone and his sword is gone and he is in clothes too uncomfortable and the skin is stretched taut over a body that is not really his—
“Fight back, Pevensie, you coward!”
High King Peter the Magnificent of Narnia, Commander of the Armies, Emperor of the Lone Islands, the Lionheart Warrior King, Protector of the People, wants to grab him by the throat and shatter his jaw into a thousand pieces for that grave insult upon his character. Instead, he laughs in his face and sticks out his tongue, like a small child.
He is nineteen, and he is thirty-three. He is not a child, in either world.
Sometimes, he wishes he was. Sometimes, he wishes he was thirteen and in his mother’s home, he wishes he had never left for Professor Diggory’s mansion.
Most times, however, he wishes for something he has almost given up hope for, something he was forced to give up five and a half years ago. He wishes, oh so dearly, for a faithful sword made of mithril in his hand and a heavy crown woven out of golden flowers on his head. He wishes for one last chance to step out of this world that was once his but no longer is, and into a world where he was once High King Peter the Magnificent, Commander of the Armies, Emperor of the Lone Islands, the Lionheart Warrior King, First of the Beloved Four, Protector of the Narnian People.
Easton yells as he lumbers forward, and Peter, too embroiled in old memories of running his fingers through the unicorn Ethrys’ snow-white mane while galloping through grassy fields, does not see the punch coming until it is too late. The loud smack of knuckles against flesh echoes through the school courtyard, and the impact of the heavy fist on his cheek is like an electric shock to his senses.
For a second, he blinks dazedly. And then his brain registers it properly. The pain flares, and with it so does blinding hot bloodlust.
‘Fine,’ he thinks as he lifts a hand to wrap his fingers around Easton’s forearm in a death grip, a high-pitched whistle echoing in his ears and red creeping into the edges of his vision as it zeroes in on the many weaknesses in the three boys’ defenses. ‘You want a fight? You’ll get one.’
It takes him four seconds to get the three imbeciles on their backs, one howling in pain from a dislocated shoulder, the other because of a broken nose and the third from a bruised kidney. His fingers flex around the hilt of a sword that he no longer owns, and he reminds himself that he is not allowed to kill, not in this world where he is not a King and does not lead wars.
He stares down at Easton, the image of a blood covered sword and a slain warrior at his feet flashing behind his eyelids when he blinks. He opens his eyes and the boy stares back, hand clutching his shoulder and face becoming paler and paler the longer Peter holds his terrified brown gaze.
“Don’t bother me again,” he says flatly to the three of them, and turns away, ignoring the teachers that are hurrying across the lawn with yells of his name tumbling from their lips. He lifts his gaze and locks it with Edmund’s for a second, brilliant blue meeting identical brilliant blue, before both of them turn away. One royal brother melts into the crowd of students without a whisper, and the other stalks off towards the dorms with blood on his ever-bruised knuckles and memories of a different world singing through the veins of a body that is too young for the mind it contains.
He is a King, celebrated and honoured for his services to a hallowed land.
He is a mere boy sitting on the roof of the boarding school, fingers flexing around the hilt of a sword that no longer belongs to him, nothing more than a memory he cannot let go of: a memory he refuses to let go of even after five and a half years.
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explodingchantry · 5 days ago
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A review of Veilguard from a long time, die hard fan of Dragon Age
When the review embargo on Veilgurd was lifted, I found it hard to take any review at face value. Dragon Age is unfortunately the one series I am very pretentious about, and I can’t trust reviews from people who aren’t huge Dragon Age fans like I am and who don’t hold the same views as me -- those views being, to keep it short, that Anders was right and justified, that he is one of the most tragic characters in the entire series, that he is a hero, that Bioware’s writing can be shockingly biased at times in the wrong ways, and that Inquisition is really not that good at all. These opinions have a lot of weight in whether I will listen to someone about Dragon Age matters. And I haven’t see a proper review from someone like this -- though granted as soon as the game came out I locked down and refused to look at anything in fear of spoilers lol. 
This review will be spoilers free, and there will be an addition at some point with all the spoilers and what I think about specific story details, because I have so much to say. 
The TL;DR? It’s a good game. If you like Dragon Age like I do, you’ll like it. If you open your heart to it, you’ll love it. It was made with love. 
This will be divided in section based on people’s biggest worries about the game and how much I have to say about each of them.
The art direction
Honestly I was a defender of the art style as soon as the trailers started coming out and my opinion has not changed lol. Dragon Age was never exactly known for its graphics - Origins and DA2 look… okay. And Inquisition was fine for its time but has aged like the most rotten milk you could find. Its environments are still pretty, but its characters, man… I’m sorry, it just hasn’t aged well. Frostbite engine did not help Bioware in this case. They’ve spoken about how it was a new engine for them and how they struggled with it and it shows. 
This game? Oh boy, yeah, no, I can believe they got a handle of Frostbite now. It is breathtaking. The environments are crafted so meticulously and with so much love, the lighting is beautiful and that’s even without RTX (because I’m in the AMD gang and can’t splurge on Nvidia lol). Many many times I would stop and go into photo mode either to take screenshots or to just admire the world around me. I’d spam screenshot in cutscenes, too. The character animations are good, especially the facial expressions -- though the body animations remain a tad stiff, like everyone’s got a broom up their ass and forgot their spine can bend and move. It’s not that big of a deal, but I did notice it a couple times. 
You can tell Bioware had fun both with character design and with the environments, now that they’re free of Ferelden’s basic medieval england looking ass. You grow attached to the beautiful and lively environments. Treviso has got to be my favorite, but there’s a lot for everyone in there. 
And no, the smoother art style does not make the game less dark. If anything, some of the enemy redesigns really help make the game scarier. The first time I was faced with the blight in game, even though I’d seen it in all of the promotional screenshots and trailers -- I was horrified and sickened by just how gross they made it look (and sound.). I promise you, you shouldn’t be scared of that. 
The emotional moments sold well even “in spite of” the art style. I don’t know, it’s hard for me to even understand people’s worries about that. Not everything’s got to be hyper-realistic, ya’ll. 
The combat system
That IS one thing I was a tad worried about, when we first saw it. It looked good, but it was definitely a departure from what we were used to. 
Honestly, to sell my point, we have to look at the previous games’ combat system. I don’t actually know if there’s a specific name for this style aside from, idk, “CRPG combat” lol. I like to refer to it as MMORPG combat because you mostly see it in MMOs now, I feel. Your character cycles through a bunch of basic combat animations for basic attacks, and has a lot of abilities to throw in combat which can synergise which each other. DAO had the best system, but DA2 felt best to play due to the updated and dynamic animations and faster paced combat. DAI had the weakest both due to the way they overhauled the classes (especially mages) and made us lose fan-favorite specialisations (spirit healer and blood mage) with not much in exchange. It was simplified and a bit sluggish, in my opinion. It missed the strategy imposed by DAO as well as the punch from DA2. 
And of course, there’s the battle tactics. You get to basically program companion AIs and can chain some really, really good combos with them. It’s really fun once you get the hang of it, but let’s be real: very few people did. Very few people actually used them, as good of a system as it was. 
This combat system… has aged a tad, unfortunately. It doesn’t fit today’s gaming landscape, but even if it did… It would need more to land, I think, if they kept it as it was. Something to make it feel less sluggish, more intense, more involved. Make the attacks FEEL like they land and hit and hurt the enemy. Because the harsh truth is, although DAO has the most in depth combat system of all of the games -- it also has numerous popular mods to skip combat entirely. 
Combat in Veilguard feels really, really good. When I first started I often found myself grinning, going “oh HELL yeah” at the screen, because it felt so good. I almost raised the difficulty a few times because I wanted combat to last longer because it just felt so damn good. I do wish it was a bit deeper, especially in the case of combos, but it remained nonetheless fun to cycle through abilities and companions depending on the area and type of enemies I was fighting. It feels more action-y, but it isn’t a damn hack n slash like I’ve seen people say lol. Have none of these people ever heard of the term action RPG or what. Because that’s what Veilguard is. It’s an action RPG and there’s nothing wrong with that. 
I think Bioware always kind of wanted to move towards this, as well. Since DAO, Dragon Age felt like it kept its combat system not because it was the most fitting for the games Bioware wanted to make, but because they “had to”. Because it was right for the genre. Because it’s what players expect. Because they’d get backlash if they didn’t. But they finally decided to change it, and I think it’s right, for Veilguard. I think Bioware had fun making this system, and it is very much extremely fun to play. 
My only wish is for spirit healer and blood mage specialisation to come back, and for companion leveling up to have been deeper and more varied. They basically have set abilities that you level up and though you can change some aspects of them, that’s it. But it remains a good system. I liked it. I genuinely have really enjoyed fighting in this game and will be exploring all classes and specialisations thoroughly in my next replays, as well as exploring every difficulty. 
The writing
It’s fine. It’s brilliant, at times. Cringy, at others. And you want to know a secret?
You could say that about every god damn Dragon Age game, lol.
I’ve recently -- as in, very recently -- replayed the whole series in preparations for Veilguard. Not only did it have cringe-worthy moments in all games, but some even made me grimaces. DAO is staggeringly misogynistic both for its time and for its setting: You are told in the character creator that men and women are equal in Thedas only to constantly face outward sexism at every turn. It’s shocking. As for DA2, it’s weirdly mean spirited. It calls a lot of its characters crazy and makes fun of them for the meanest fucking reasons. It has a character who fights for his people’s freedom approve of you when you give another character over to a slaver, for fuck’s sake lol. It is very mean. This one is the most “product of its time” of all three, because DAO was misogynistic even for its time lol. And DAI… well, DAI is bland and lacks depth and feeling ina almost everything lmfao. 
Veilguard holds your hand a lot, especially in the beginning, and kind of babies you at times. It also suffers from painful expository moments. Thing is, I feel for Bioware: They have three games and dozens of side media’s worth of lore to explain to you, and have to keep in mind not only that some players will have never heard of Dragon Age, or that some have only played the games and never touched the side media, or that they played the games a whole DECADE ago and can’t remember shit. It’s hard. I would’ve done better lol but it IS difficult. I feel for them. 
Some things are a little less excusable, like the game REALLY holding your hand through a couple puzzles and through the fact that you need to focus on companions and do their quests etc. A part of me wonders if it came out of playtesting, or something. It definitely took me out of it a little bit, not gonna lie. It felt quite jarring. 
There’s a couple other things, like having far too much telling in places. I’d also have liked to do some of the cool stuff my Rook does in cutscenes within actual gameplay, lol. And there were beats where I was left thinking “... that’s it?”, which is never good. 
The codex entries are great and interesting though. Only game in the franchise where I read every single codex entries I found (AND I FOUND ALMOST ALL OF THEM!!!!). A lot of them are fascinating, but more are just very sweet or funny, and they help build the characters and the world. 
And my god, those characters are ALIVE. I truly understand when Bioware said they really put emphasis on the companions. There are so many cute banters, a lot of which you can catch in the lighthouse, as well as little scenes that mostly serve to humanise the companions and make them feel alive. Not only that, but you also get attached to a lot of NPCs -- and I do mean a lot. Each faction has NPCs I cared for deeply, and you always just get to visit them and talk to them, even if it’s just them saying a line or two of dialogue at you. It still helps to build a relationship with them, and care for them. And your companions interact with them sometimes, too! And they have history! It makes the world genuinely feel so much more alive and makes you feel so much more involved than you were in DAI! They manage to transform from pixels on a screen there to give you quests to actual characters with rich lives and feelings that you want to see succeed.
I romanced Lucanis and he is by far my favorite of the companions, but I love all of them. This means it’s the first game in the series where I genuinely really love all the companions. There was always one, maybe two, in each game whom I didn’t care much about or which pissed me off -- but they’re all immensely likeable here, and I care so much about not only my Rook’s relationship to them, but their relationships to each other. And there’s so many little banters, notes, and codex entries which helps further their bond and makes them feel like roommates. It’s very sweet and enjoyable.
I also love my Rook a lot. I played mostly as a sarcastic Rook who was very impulsive and wasn’t afraid to speak their feelings out. There are times you can express genuine fear, hurt, or anger at certain NPCs or situations, and the line delivery really carries it. They felt alive and involved, so much more than the Inquisitor ever did. My Rook has a personality, and not only that, but the way the factions were integrated was really nice. I played as an elven mage grey warden, and each of those bits came up a lot. I’m a bit miffed that you don’t get to choose whether you were dalish or city elf, and more miffed that the game/npcs try to explain dalish lore at you even when you put a wholeass vallaslin on your character, but aside from that I’m rather pleased with the integration of the faction. I imagine some factions (lords of fortune) got the shorter end of the stick - but playing as a grey warden was deeply rewarding in this game. Rook can make comment about it in dialogue, in banter, and other characters mention it too. I got to discuss the joining with another warden, and my Rook commented a few things about their time in the order. And it made my friendship with Davrin mean so much more, too. It also made every plot point involving the wardens hit like a TRUCK. 
And my god, do some of the missions in this game hit like a truck. The villains are believably terrifying. This isn’t Corypheus 2.0. I hadn’t felt this level of dread in Dragon Age since DAO. Some missions especially have rocked me to my core, and some of them I consider to be absolute masterpieces (Weisshaupt, my god Weisshaupt. My favorite mission in any Bioware game, period.) I wish the last boss had been scarier and stronger, though. I felt it did fall short in regards to that. Funny enough a lot of the side bosses were harder than main bosses. That was a bit sad. But yes, Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain feel like gods that you are facing. It is so much better than DAI in that regard.
The game does make you care deeply about everything happening, I can promise you that. And it manages to make even vehement Solas haters like him. I used to be a Solas hater back in 2014/2015, though I did mellow out over my replays. By my last Inquisition replay I did come around to him and was just mildly annoyed at how popular he was because I still found him overhyped, mostly because he suffered from DAI’s bland writing. But Veilguard makes you care for him, and elicits a lot of strong reactions towards him. He’s made me cheer, and also made me feel extreme anger, and then a lot of sympathy. He’s a marvelously complex character and one of Bioware’s best. He went from being one of my least favorite characters to one of my favorites - potentially even top 10 material. This is high praise for me lol. 
The matter of bringing choices in is…. Well, not gonna lie, a few events I was like “hm, no this wouldn’t happen in my world state” or “oh I wish they took in account past choices for this scene/plot point”. It remains an extremely baffling choice from Bioware and I remain really pissed off about it, lol. 
The Inquisitor was fine. I’m not attached to the Inquisitor, so I’m not able to make many comments about them. I’ve seen other people who ARE attached feel happy about their inclusion, so I’d go with that. There were a few nice moments. 
Act 3 is absolutemy amazing, also. It's engaging and terrifying and broke my heart several times. I do not cry easily but I was left sobbing and whimpering at Bioware lmfao. Granted, it was my first playthrough, and my emotions were heightened by having a new Dragon Age game after so long. But I do think Act 3 is just... really, really good. It gets the point of the game across very well, too.
The lore
This… is where the game falls short the most, for me. 
Don’t get me wrong: we get a LOT of new lore and a lot of it is insanely satisfying when you’ve been in the trenches for a decade and had tons of theories. A lot of discoveries left me buzzing with thoughts, new theories, ideas, and excitement. It was exhilarating. 
But there’s many points where, as a guy who just casually reads the lore books for fun, I was left saying “uh, no, that’s not true” to “that doesn’t make any fucking sense”. Mostly, a lot of my issues comes with the integration of the politics of the game. Dragon age has always been a political series, in the sense that the politics of Thedas are just as important as any threat we face in the game. And for like 15 years, the north was built up in a certain way -- and in many aspects, Veilguard does deliver. In others, it feels like it glosses over very important lore, or just tries to gaslight you into thinking you were wrong all along. Some of it is clever recontextualising that I did appreciate, considering all the lore we DO know is in universe, which means biased by the areas we learn the lore from. But there are a few times where the lore breaks took me out of the game and felt very immersion breaking.
Unfortunately I can’t go to much further into this without spoiling anything, but it’s definitely where I was the most disappointed. It’s small things, it’s always small things, but it’s definitely made me either raise my eyebrows or be very disappointed at times. I’ve already spoken about a bit of it in previous posts, and need to write something lengthy about magic specifically. Just beware that if you are insane about the lore, it is where the game will fall short at points. But it will also offer you amazing lore in turn, so you know. It’s a balancing act. 
It feels like the writing has mellowed out in this aspect. It makes me wonder how different the past games would be, if written by these people. How different this game would've been, if it was written by past writers. Only game where I've gone "wait why am I not getting hate crimed right now".
Also the secret post credit scene sucks entire ass and ruins everything lmfao I am ignoring it entirely.
There’s obviously a lot more I want to say about many things. I want to talk about Lucanis, about Taash, about Emmrich, about Harding -- about everyone, really. But that’ll be for further, spoiler-full posts. 
I’ll also save some more in depth review for a later post because I wanna go play dolls in the character creator again.
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drifloonz · 3 months ago
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Omg hi! I very recently got REALLY into Strangled Red so finding your writing for it was such a nice surprise, it's feeding my hyperfixation for this man so well. I love how you write and portray him especially since I'm a sucker for character phycology. If you're still up for it, could you maybe give some headcannons for Steven reacting to the s/o reader being hit on and not being into it? I just think it has nice writing potential and I'm a sucker for jealousy/possessiveness and overprotectiveness when the character has good reason to be. If you don't feel up for it I completely understand that, and just know that I've loved all the writing you've done so far! :)
ty sm.. i fucking love Analyzing steven hes like a petri dish algae or something that im putting under a microscope. he means so much to me and i love picking him apart like the little freak [lovingly] that he is.
i am very glad i make ppl think of him and give ppl food that is my Goal . Give people good steven food. steven food makes it sound like stevens a creature u need to feed. thats s!3v3n not steven /j
ALSO SAME HERE i love jealousy and possessiveness and being overprotective within like. Normal means. Maybe its bc i have bpd idk but i also like when ppl are jealous in regards to me or clingy... makes you feel important sometimes and thats nice to some people including me hehehe.
anyways !!
jealous steven x s/o reader!
__
♡ steven's not one for going out with you - he prefers to rot in his house. it's awful, but, at least you visit him and are there with him a lot of the time. or he's with you in your house rotting a little less. either or is fine to him.
♡ although, recently he's been trying more. maybe you have a job and he likes to visit you because he gets lonely - he's not all too dissimilar to a growlithe or a clingy litten waiting for their owner to get home. except he's a grown ass 6-or-7' man that tends to intimidate everyone just by being around, so how clingy he is sometimes is kind of jarring. gap moe.
♡ or maybe you just go out a lot and he likes to tag along, because well. he likes you. and you're probably dating?
♡ .. and because he's scared that something will happen to you when he's not around.
♡ . . . he won't admit that part, though.
♡ he'll often be overaffectionate when and if you visit him when you haven't for a while, too. clingy overaffectionate. lots of cuddling and silent affection from the big guy.
♡ he especially doesn't like thinking about the fact that other people can possibly see you and have less than great thoughts about you or possibly be making passes at you when he's not there - you're his, dammit. ... and he's all yours, not like anyone else is competing for him these days.
♡ so when he is there, and when someone does, and has the balls to do it around or in front of him?
♡ well. probably when he's around but not immediately close to you. and as such...
♡ he'll probably stand up if he overhears it / sees it, or just thinks anybody's being just a biiiit too friendly with you. goes behind you, maybe while you're still talking to the person, busy and unaware that he's Approaching.
♡ he's so tall the shadow of his figure looms over the person who even dared to try.
♡ he'll just glare at them, until they fuck off. honest to god. he hates talking to people, especially strangers, and his resting neutral face being turned into slightly more of a resting bitch face sends the message better than anything he could say ever would.
♡ he can look scarier if he wants to, maybe make his eyes glow red and give a bit more of a snarl - but just his resting face seems to scare people off real easily. good. he doesn't want to put in too much effort- plus, it might look wrong, or odd. him emoting in any good or bad way more than his usual resting face tends to look weird. he has no idea how he used to do it so much more when he was younger ... ( HE'S SUCH A FUCKING LOSERRRR . sorry continue on . )
♡ and after the fact - or if they somehow don't get the memo from that - he'll try harder.
♡ some possessive touches - a squeeze of the hand, pulling you closer to him, maybe resting his hands on your hips or shoulder - maybe even his head resting on your head... anything that silently tells other people that you two have something deeper going on.
♡ he doesn't want to actively scare them off. it'd cause a scene, and steven already hates being in public and around people as much as it is, especially because he can feel everyones eyes always on him like he's some freak. which he is, but ... it makes him feel Some sort of way. reminds him of how everyone stared at him, almost as if he was some laughingstock of kanto, when miki had-
he can't keep thinking about this. something'll happen. he doesn't want to get like that in public again, ever.
♡ anyways.
♡ even if the person already left, steven will be quick to make it clear to everyone else and you that you two are an item. he doesn't want anyone else to look at you or talk to you in that way.
♡ ... he doesn't want to lose you. you're about all he has these days, and he doesn't think he's the best choice of a boyfriend or even anyone you should be dating at all - always scared he'll do or say something. always scared of what he did back then coming back to haunt him, always feeling guilty and like you should know about the things he did. he thinks he's awful, honestly. he keeps things from you, and things you should probably know. he's not the greatest person.
♡ steven could go on and on in his head about why you should not be dating him of all people - you're so beautiful, too. you deserve better, to have anyone you want.
♡ but you are dating him. and he's happy. happier than he's ever been, and he feels loved, and lucky - but also scared. he has something to lose, again. and he's terrified.
♡ so he has to work to show you that he loves you. cherishes you more than the world. this is just one of those small ways he does it, even if in an odd way and due to him being possessive and clingy. but he's like that for a very good reason.
♡ because you're everything to him.
♡ sometimes he's glad that people are scared of him. he can protect you that way. even if he can never fully integrate back to society - not that he ever even fucking wants to - he can at least be around you.
♡ you joke about him being like your personal bodyguard sometimes.
♡ there's a faint smile when he hears that.
__
i hope u enjoyed i went kind of crazy. I think about how much he'd be scared to be dating someone again sssoooo badly LIKE HE HAS SOMETHING TO LOSE AGAIN. HE'S TERRIFIED OF LOSING YOU TO SOMETHING HE CAN'T CONTROL!! like. Especially death or some freak accident like with miki and mike but from also, just not being good enough, being a bad partner, someone charming you more than him... etc. this all comes to a head in how clingy and possessive he is.
He has no idea how he'd deal with it either and doesn't even want to think ab it because if he did he'd tweak ( go s!3v3nmode and lock himself in his room about it. )
he will Not lose you because he cannot fucking lose you and if it means being a fucking loser and getting protective of you if anyone even so much as tries to flirt with you, then so be it.
I LOVE EXPLORING THIS SIDE OF HIM. HE'S NOT A YANDERE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HE JUST HAS INSAAANE ISSUES. TRAUMA. PTSD. AND BPD. and also Really bad paranoia. Probably some other shit too maybe ocd fuck if i know He doesnt know either but basically he has. Issues. and doesnt know how to handle them esp since hes been isolated so hes Working on it. Kind of.
ty for requesting ^-^ its good to get in the writing groove again. altho my keyboard feels a little weird and wacky which doesnt help and i Should clean it but thank god i can type properly again.
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 4 months ago
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s2 episode 24 thoughts
this episode was quite spooky. because cannibalism is real. but something about scully about to get her head chopped off and boiled seemed more outlandish than all the aliens and the guy that kills people with his shadow or even lizard man eugene tooms!
which is strange. because those things are pretty outlandish! maybe its because it was so much scarier than even evil lizard men.
let’s jump in:
so this is an episode involving more meat. did we need more meat, after the earlier meat processing content in s2 episode 10? many are saying no. but not chris carter!
we begin at a dirt road at night. in the state of arkansas. we have an older man and a younger woman named paula in a car, which is not suspicious at all! /s
oh and now the old man choking? is this natural or did she induce it with some poison. i mean maybe he deserved it, if she did. he takes some pills, so I’m guessing it is due to natural causes. now she beckons him out to the woods. 
into the woods. she says he has to catch her. is she luring him into a Bigfoot trap? we have yet to really see Bigfoot, and maybe he’s hungry. although Bigfoot is more Pacific Northwest than Arkansas, i think.
author's note: we tested negative for bigfoot in this episode :(
oh! this man tripped and is now surrounded by people with flashlights and very cool masks. get axe murdered, fucker.
back in DC! aforementioned fucker has been gone for 10 weeks and scully thinks the higher ups are sending them on a wild goose chase. “i’m not questioning the legitimacy of the case, just their motives in assigning it to us” <- damn, very well spoken by a rightfully suspicious woman
oh, but at the scene, someone saw a fire. and mulder says the fire is “supposed to be the spirits of massacred Indians” OH...
(mentally i was like, please do not be another scary Indigenous story episode. and we did in fact get that. sighs deeply. we can make things scary without making Indigenous people the scary ones! or using the trauma of genocide as a setting for spooky time! well, i'm sure you, dear reader, know that, so i shall not preach to the choir, but i will point out that these thoughts were going through my mind)
“these are only legends, mulder”, says a dismissive scully. and why is her hair looking excellent today. I mean not that it isn’t usually but damn. shoutout to the hair and makeup team.
the place on the side of the road where he went missing had a big fire! could be a bonfire, both parties thought. until mulder remembered a documentary he saw in college...
(hehehehe mulder spent college watching documentaries <3)
! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! wow it's been a while since i've gotten to format some text like that. he watched a documentary about an insane asylum in college and it gave him nightmares.
(and this may not be super relevant to his character, but to ME, it is, so i shall note it <3)
he's got the VHS from the doc all loaded up, and presses play on a guy rambling about a fire demon!! who was found in the same spot as the fire mark!!! dun dun dunnn 
(love the implication that he either purchased his own copy of the documentary that gave him nightmares in college, or had to go rent it from the video store. both are wonderful possibilities)
cut to arkansas. mulder is on the scene holding a plastic fork from the ground. wearing his silly sunglasses. lmaooo idk why they make me laugh. what a serious gentleman.
sheriff arrives at the scene. he says the witch’s peg to ward off spirits is normal there and also that the fire mark comes from illegal trash burning. and, as an American i am aware of how Americans love an illegal trash burn. but still. suspicious.
sheriff says the missing man george was chasing women out of town. lovely sounding fellow /s
wife questioning time!! he left her years ago. oh, but tea: the day before he went missing he was going to cite major health violations in the chicken plant! hmm... a cause for murder?
mulder gives the wife his phone number. also mulder is also looking very good today. but that is an evil voice in my head that ought to be silenced.
noooo, it's chicken plant time. no thank you ma’am, i would be out in the car <3
paula from the woods at work in the plant!!! taking mystery pills. seemingly in pain??
chicken cutting cam. oh, this is not for me! 
the agents chat with the manager, who says george was trying to shut them down. and while clocked in, paula is sweating. she just gasped in front of a whole bunch of chickens and some guy with very blue eyes. she sees a human head on the chicken stand and picks it up and throws it off. shoutout to this fake decapitated head and my best friends in the prop department for making such a funny creation.
(but of course, it was a hallucination, and she really just threw a poor chicken on the floor!!! his sacrifice was in vain... gone but not forgotten)
mulder is inspecting the chicken gutting operation and i've said it before and i'll say it again: he is braver than me. 
ohh, more chicken drama: george was filing a lawsuit about “line hypnosis” and it was dismissed before he vanished! he deserved to win. is there a meat processing union? there ought to be. but he was the only one citing bad health practices, the other 3 workers said it was fine... sooo what’s the truth…
“what’s that” asks mulder, who then gets shown the feed processor, and asks “chickens feed on chickens?” <- heartbreaking realization. many of us remember where we were when learning this information. i'm sure it will stick with him forever. and i'm frankly surprised he didn't know already.
NAURRR THE SLUDGE AND BLOOD nasty nasty evil
OH plot twist: paula is holding the manager with a knife to his throat… scully telling everyone to calm down. personally i would be not calm. she said “don’t get excited” but me? experiencing an active hostage situation at my place of work? i would be excited
NOOO the sheriff shot her and she fell into the feed conveyor belt processing… thing. sheriff i KNOW you are covering something up. you will not hide from me.
SHE GETS GULPED INTO THE FEED BELT THINGY GAGGG it’s giving the jungle by upton sinclair that caused many american 8th graders to confront the corruption of the meat industry
paula had gone to the doctor about headaches… like george!!! doctor had assumed the condition was stress induced. and they did have similar symptoms. 
treated them both with codine… ain’t that a bit strong?? this man doesn't seem to be a very good doctor, tbh. i mean i don't think the guy that works at the chicken plant to sew back on fingers needs to be an expert in everything but like. codine for headaches? umm girl.
mr. chaco of chaco’s chicken was paula’s grandfather… if i was a grandfather rich off of chicken money, my grandkids would not be working the processing line, let me tell u that much!
back to the agents: these two should not be looking as good as they do in a chicken processing plant. they had to really step it up today to compensate for the horrors of the set.
chicken man lives in a mansion. further evidence of corruption. paula, i would not have had you working in such conditions if i was your grandfather. there has been a deep wrong here, i can see already.
and he’s got a big hat and is feeding his chicken corn. not other chickens, like the feed he makes in his plant... seems he is aware of the ethical issues implied in his business. also, mulder with those weird ass glasses. 
cacho is going on about the subject of chickens. and how he built this town. he sure is taking an awful lot of credit for creating a town, pretty sure that's a team effort mr. chaco. he's also going on about how he thought george was trying to tear him down. 
AUTOPSY TIME!! rare degenerative disorder in da brain of paula. and scully has only seen it one other time back in med school because you can only really find it in an autopsy. nice work, doctor! <- i just typed “nice worm 🪱” so we'll let that stay for the added sense of whimsy it provides
but despite looking like a young girl fresh out of high school, paula was born in '48?! she was 47 years old. allegedly. this is not adding up. so they go on a quest to find her birth certificate and see what the truth is.
debrief in the car. so: odds are not great that she and george had the same very rare disease
during this discussion, our duo are run off the road by a chicken truck!!!! no! oh... he drove them into a river. mulder has shifted into rescue mode as the river is red with chicken gore. i feel someone might be distracting them and trying to get the body… (this was actually not the case i was just overly suspicious)
but more chicken drama: the driver had the same symptoms as george and paula! how can this be?!
“i just came up with a sick theory, mulder” (grabs her shoulder) “ooh, I’m listening” LMAOOOO this is sososo funny to me. yeah tell me ur sick theories scully you have my full attention.
GAG!! because it is both gross and shocking. her theory: what if someone put george’s body in the feed grinder, and then since it’s a prion disease, a chicken ate it, and someone ate a chicken, and it spread to the humans!!!! AHHHH! well that would be an epidemic, because they ship chickens out across the country… she glances knowingly, implying things could be very bad 
the river is filled with bird gore from the plant BLECH... who allows this??!! please say there are some modern regulations in place to prevent this being done irl.
mulder says he wants it dragged, thinking that maybe george is in there. and the sheriff is hesitant to do this. once again, i’m onto you, sheriff. i mean, a river full of chicken gore: it would be a good place to put a dead body.
and bam! a body is found. or rather. many many many bones. many bodies. and they are still going. damn.
so, we have a ton of bones. scully can put them into 9 distinct skeletons, one of which is in fact george. i love that she can do that, put the bones into distinct skeletons. she knows it's geroge from a pin in his femur!
“all of them share one, strange detail though” “well, they seem to have lost their heads” “… well, besides that” <- LMAOOOO idk why this was so funny to me... he really thought he picked up on something but he did Not.
here's the linking detail: all the bones are smooth and buffed like they have been polished. ??? who is polishing bones? it sure isn't me, i'll tell you that much. 
george’s wife is at the scene, learning her husband's body has been found, and she is sobbing. and the sheriff says “we’ll take care of you” now what does THAT mean? because it's not really sounding like the welcoming words of a man who is going to guide his neighbor through tragedy, and instead like there is something bigger at play here...
back at the plant, the doctor is mentioning another guy coming down “with the symptoms”…. omg. so this IS a known thing from the inside. mr. chaco knows but he isn’t doing anything about it!!!!! chicken dramaaaa goes crazy 
scully at the scene of all the bones, carrying a bucket of chicken. lmao. she is braver than me, for i would have gone vegan the first moment i set foot in chicken processing land.
mulder does some digging: 87 people have disappeared in the area in 50 years! that seems... a lot? and he thinks the same person or persons were responsible. he thinks they were EATEN!! boiled in a pot.
“they used similar evidence to prove cannibalism among on the Anasazi tribe of New Mexico” okay: 1. why do you know that 2. need to look into these allegations for myself and 3. Anasazi… that is the title of the next episode!!! what could this mean!! another cannibalism episode?!
scully is very sad to say that paula could have gotten sick from eating george :( girl I’m not convinced the chicken is clean put it down NOW 
cannibalism = eternal life? follow for more crazy mulder theories!
she puts aside the chicken……. good!
mr. chaco says “he’ll handle it” and george's wife doris arrives, saying she “can’t keep lying”… she says “she did it” (!!)
OH????? she... killed her husband? that is a bold thing to admit to.
“we’re gonna take good care of you”, says mr. chaco, which raises the question: are they a cannibal cult???? is that what he means when he mentions that he “built this town”???
now what the hell is going on. <- an interjection i stand by
mulder and scully are going to the courthouse to look at the papers and all the birth records are burnt!! doris calls mulder and says he’s afraid mr. chaco will kill her… they split up…. nooooo i hate splitting up!!! i watched so much scooby doo as a kid!
GASP! a guy in a mask like we saw at the very beginning of the episode is in doris' home!!! drumbeat playing while she screams…. overall, this is very not good, i wrote, referring to the use of Indigenous imagery for this murder, and also doris being murdered in the first place
scully at the scene of the murder ft. big ass flashlight. she gets in through the side door. gun: out. trench coat: open. looks: served. diagnosis: baby girl that could kill me, and i am respectful of the fact that she has this power yet refrains from using it on me.
mulder at mr. chaco’s house. mr. chaco has some… stuff in his home. including photos with Indigenous people and also bones. having human bones in your house, and especially on display, is not a good sign of ethics in play. and a skull. Oh! it says the skull is from a tribe in New Guinea... why tf does he have that. put it back???
at the back of chaco's parlor, we see a mysterious door. mulder is busting it open.
LORD ALMIGHTY, I DID NOT THINK THERE WOULD BE HEADS INSIDE??? HELLO???
so that must be where all of the heads that mulder noticed were missing have gone. they're sewn up sort of like shrunken heads. very spooky. once again, pour one out for the props department for such a creation.
noooo chaco is in the house with scully, who was investigating the call of doris. NOOOO HE KNOCKED HER OUT!!! this seriously needs to stop happening like i'm worried about the brain damage she is experiencing.
back to mulder cam. goodness. all of these heads. 
in a field now. doctor is serving some soup. to a bunch of people. who are eating around a big bonfire. do NOT tell me scully is in that meal....
she is not. YET! but he is bringing her over to be roasted. and they ate doris! chaco is yelling about turning on each other and how they were only supposed to eat outsiders. girl you shouldn't be eating anybody last time i checked. 
man in the mask shows up with an axe. and chaco is decapitated in front of scully. who is put into the decapitation thingy next. GIRL THIS IS FUCKED UP!!!
mulder on the scene, just in time. he shoots the dude in the mask.
“you alright?” he asks, brushing her hair back after lifting her out of the decapitation machine. my good friend, i would venture to guess that she is not quite alright at the moment!!! this will take an awful lot of unpacking!!!
sigh. but the tenderness of the near death experience. coming back to life in someone's arms. yeah i'll romanticize that.
TEA!!! the sheriff was the one under the mask!!!!!! i knew he was up to no good.
wrap up: chicken place shut down. unclear how many citizens of the town ate people. 27 have become ill with prion disease. chaco’s plane was shot down in 1947, and he spent 7 months with a cannibalistic tribe, and also he was born in 1902, so he was 93 at his death- so the cannibalism really WAS extending life. and we see some more feed being scooped to the chickens as scully says his remains have yet to be found. end scene.
HUH???? what in da hell. so what are we thinking kids…?
well, i'll tell you something: turns out i am afraid of cannibal cults, no matter how outlandish they seem! i guess when you get a villain or evil situation of the week show like this, you WILL learn exactly what kind of fear pushes your buttons. i can imagine almost nothing scarier than being led to the slaughter like scully was. seems a purposeful commentary on the meat industry, especially when taken in with the other meat episode this season.
so, if i were scully, i do think i would need to take a week or so off. but she is just built different than i am.
some things bugged me here. first of all, like i mentioned, you don't need to throw in Indigenous people to make a scary story. like is the thought of a bunch of arkansas cannibals not horrific enough? the scary was there!
second, i have not been doing a kidnapping count, but i feel that scully is getting the rough of the deal here. i believe in gender equality when it comes to characters being kidnapped. like, an even 1:1 ratio. why are we denying mulder his damsel in distress arc? does anyone think about how he would feel? how nice it would be to see scully burst in with a gun and shoot the fellow that was about to cannibalize him?
still, it is rare an episode actually spooks me, so i must give credit where it is due. even if it felt a little outlandish, your girl was frightened! scully needs a vacation now. i also thoroughly laughed at the sick theories line and his funny sunglasses.
it's funny to note, but i like the episodes that are either very silly and light hearted, or incredibly angsty the best. and that may seem contradictory, but you cannot tell me that one breath and humbug may be on opposite ends of the tone spectrum, but they are both objectively Perfect. i'll have to think more on why they are the best in my opinion, but i think honestly i would watch these two read the dictionary.
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thesleepy1 · 2 years ago
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Held Tightly, The Fire Burns
A/N: @eddyofthetruth requested this fic ages ago. I’m sorry it took so long to get out. I hope this fic brightens your day. :) As for the fic, I try not to have gendered descriptions when writing but it's a little harder to avoid in these situations. Just assume that the reader is intersex and has all the parts. 
Pairings: Eskel x Reader 
Summary: You were not nervous. It wasn’t like it was your first time or anything. You knew that Eskel had more experience than you but he wasn’t going to make fun of you…right? You don’t know what you’re doing. Why did you even agree to this? (Cause you love him and have been thinking about him shirtless since you first met him.) It’s fine. Everything is fine. You won’t fuck up and ruin everything. 
Or, “idk if you do anything nsfw so feel free to ignore but if you do!! would you consider writing something eskel x reader (either netflix or book i love them both) where its the reader's first time? idk i just feel like he'd be so kind and patient (//ω//) have a nice day! <3
Word count: 1,634
Warnings: NSFW, oral sex, marking, begging, dirty talk, praise kink, slight pain kink, 
Eskel sat with you in the library. A fire was crackling in the fireplace. The cracks and sizzles of the damp wood filled the large room with noise. The smell of dry, old books and burning pine relaxed you further in your seat. You could feel it in your bones, the deep seated sense that everything was as it was supposed to be. 
That thought did nothing to quell the fluttering of your heart. 
You had talked about this for days. Eskel did not want to force you into anything you weren’t ready for. He was patient. More patient than you probably deserved, going back and forth on the decision. You just didn’t want to mess things up. Traveling with Eskel was the best part of your life and ruining that would absolutely destroy you. 
“Are you sure?” Eskel asked for the utmost time. It was private in the library. At first you had suggested that your first time should be in a bedroom but when you and Eskel actually went to try, the anticipation was scarier than anything. The library was the next choice. It was intimate without having any other connotations. For all the others in the keep knew, you and Eskel were simply reading by the fireplace. No one batted an eye at the extra furs Eskel had laid on the floor or the pitcher of water he had brought along with you. 
Though the other witchers were sharp. They likely knew what the two of you were planning. They were just kind enough to leave you alone. 
“I’m fine, Eskel.” You assured him with a hand on his bicep. Heat was already coating the apples of your cheeks. Even now you could not blame the fire for it. This close to Eskel, you could see all the curves of his face. He looked as though he had been carved from marble and polished by a gentle river. Your hand went to cup his jaw, thumb stroking the stubble there. “It's unfair how you look so good. How could anyone even attempt to compete with you?” 
Eskel’s hand went over your own, pushing your palm to his lips. His face was marred but his kisses were feather-like brushes of the skin. “And yet you have my eyes every moment of the day.” His mouth moved down your hand, your wrist, your arm. When he reached your collar bone you felt the faint press of his teeth. “Is this alright?” he whispered into your skin. 
You let out a simple whimper in affirmation and another when his teeth pulled at the skin. His mouth sucked markings onto you. His hands were all over you, on your hips, your waist, and up higher. You were helping him remove your tunic before you even realized that he was slowly lowering you onto your back. 
Eskel moved down your chest like a man starved. You could hear your heart beat out of your ribcage. You knew he could hear it as well. It seemed to spur him on, the way your heart skipped when he bruised the skin on your chest. His mouth made you desperate, writhing on the furs beneath you. Your hands couldn’t get enough of him, fingers in his hair and nails digging into his back. When the texture of fabric under your palm got too much to handle, you pushed at his shirt until he got the clue and removed it. 
The two of you were in nothing but your trousers now. The tent between his thighs and the press of the engorged flesh against you had heat swirling in the pit of your stomach. “Could I—” Eskel was panting too hard to get the words out. His hand tugged at the hem of your trousers instead. 
“Please, I need to feel you as well,” You begged him, pulling him in for a kiss. “I need them off.” 
Eskel could not deny you anything if he tried. He was an ever devoted servant, quickly tugging down your trousers and smalls before doing the same to himself. His cock sprung free from its confides and you couldn’t help but gulp. He was large, cock thick, and curved slightly to the side. You had no idea how it was going to fit inside of you. 
Eskel must have seen the hesitation on your face because his soft tone before gentler, “We could stop now if you’d like. We don’t have to go farther.” There was a vein that ran the whole length of his cock and you would have given anything to feel it against your tongue at that moment. 
“Please Eskel, I want you so much it's killing me,” You whined, knowing the sound would only make him hasten. “I need you inside me.” You reached above you, blindly searching for the vial of oil you had stashed there earlier. 
Eskel guided your arms back down. “There’s no rush.” He lowered himself down your body before settling himself between your thighs. His hands were curious things that wanted to know everything there was to know about the flesh of your skin. His mouth was no different, pressing kisses to your inner thigh before taking pieces of you in. You knew that there would be marks there in the morning, perhaps even longer by the way he took his time to nuzzle against you. 
“Eskel, Eskel,” You gasped in between moans. He was so close to where you needed him yet so far. You could only take so much more of his teasing torture. “I need—I need you—” You were shamelessly desperate. 
The witcher met your eyes between your legs. He hummed in question from deep within his chest, head tilted in innocent acknowledgement. Eskel knew damn well what you wanted. He just wanted to hear you say it. You knew that if you did not tell Eskel what you wanted, what you truly desire, he would not touch you where you needed him to. 
It would drive you mad. 
“Eskel, please,” You began, head pressed back against the furs. “I need your mouth on me. I need to feel the press of your tongue against my skin.” 
Eskel had the nerve to chuckle at your wanton state. The witcher would be the end of you. 
Eskel grazed your opening with a brush of his finger. “Here?” He asked with false innocence dripping from his tongue. 
“Y-yes,” You could barely get the word out. “Right there, please.”
You had not noticed when he poured oil onto his fingers. He slid a finger into you easily, one of his was the size of two of your own. You could feel your walls stretch to slowly accommodate him. 
Eskel moved only when you gave him a nod of confirmation. He began at a leisurely pace, thrusting his finger in and out of your entrance. When your moans filled the library, he slid in a second. Soon, all you knew was Eskel and the burning heat in your stomach. Neither hurt you but you could not forget the ache and desire if you tried. 
“E-enough.” Your voice was quivering. Sweat was already dripping down your neck and Eskel hadn’t even properly entered you yet. You pulled at his arm, removing his fingers and tugging his body closer. “Please, Eskel. I’m ready.” 
Eskel chuckled from deep within his chest. He may have opened you with all the time in the world, but you could see the effect it had on him. His cock was a heated red, precum slicking the uncut tip. 
“Tell me if you need me to stop.” 
“I will,” You promised. “But really, darling. I want this.” 
Eskel took your face in his hand and kissed you. His tongue slipped into your mouth but before you could truly get lost in it, you felt his tip line your entrance. He had slicked his cock with the remaining oil but still you clenched your eyes at the feeling of him. Eskel was by no means a small man. 
You took him inch by blissful inch. When he had finally bottomed out, you had pulled him into a tight embrace. Your nails dug into his shoulders, crescent shaped indents where you could not contain yourself. 
“You’re so tight,” Eskel groaned, eyes shut tight. “Feels good,” he murmured into your ears.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, squeezing him as tightly as he was holding you. “You can move, darling.” You pressed kisses into his jaw. “Such a wonderful witcher. You make me feel so good.” 
Eskel smiled and began thrusting into you. Neither of you wanted it rough. There would be time for that. For now, you basked in each other’s presence whispering words of praise and encouragement. There would also be time to build up your stamina. You barely had time to warn Eskel about the coils under your skin coming undone. 
You drew blood from his shoulder when you came, back arched like a feline. It was a bliss you had never felt before. A feeling you had only read about in books. There was nothing compared to the real thing. 
It did not take long for Eskel to follow. Your walls tightened around him. He could only manage a couple more shallow thrusts before stilling and spilling into your channel. You had never seen him so out of breath, sweat dripping down his brow.
“My beautiful witcher,” You sang, wiping the sweat from his face. “That was wonderful.” 
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” Eskel grinned like a Cheshire cat. He seemed quite proud of himself at having made you release first. 
“Can we do it again?” You chuckled, blushing at your own words. 
Eskel kissed you a hundred times and promised to do it a hundred more. “As often as you like.” 
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mewpirate · 5 months ago
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WAIT I FORGOT TO ASK, what are your headcanons on the rubber fishes?
OUGHGEEE FINALLY SOMEONE ASKED ME THIS I HAD TO LIKE IDK ADD SOME NEW HEADCANONS
- Sunny steals from other people's clothes which adds to the western/cluttercore(?) aesthetic I gave her
- She also has a collection of animal skulls and sometimes wears them .
- Uhm Phillip doesn't really speak , he can't talk at all , he speaks like a fly . Here's this voice (?) claim I got here
- Sunny has an incredibly high spice tolerance (Sandlands y'know?)
- Horace is strongly superstitious .
-Since in the wiki it says that Philip is obsessed with souvenirs , I like to think that he has little collections of trinkets in a little chest . He likes staring at them .
- Black Teeth has a bunch of parasites in him , it's common in Cannizars . They sometimes get into the food.
-Not really headcanon-ish(?) but honestly I think Horace should be scarier as the rest of the villains , even if he is more of a comical villain . He should have some moments where he can be a bit scary.
- I think we also underestimate his sorcerer powers , to be fair the only magic he's done was summon the Skin-Taker but c'mon !!! We need some sorcerer Horace headcanons guys!!! ( I think this stems from my other interests being witchcraft and being into paganism for a while)
- I do like to think he keeps tarot cards and crystals. I literally have so much magic headcanons for him but I don't want to put all of that in a post featuring the Rubberfishes.
! A slight warning for mentions of nausea and sickness !
- Skin-taker literally makes people sick like GRAVELY sick , like they start coughing when they see his presence and even vomit . Its mostly him trying to take a couple of years of their life because dunno he either finds it funny or whatev. This only occurs the most to Poppy and other people who wronged him . He showed this ability to Horace and Horace instead abuses it 24/7.
- Skin-Taker has a room full of ceramic cats , both wooden and porcelain in his cave .
-Kurt does vouge dancing (y'know the bam bam shawam ! )
- Sunny tackles and wrestles people to show affection.
- Hans has a whole rubber duck collection.
- a running gag is that Sunny can pull any woman without her even knowing , she just attracts some simps ( cowboy rizz 😋)
- Philip likes board games .
- y'know how in the wiki in the abyssal monsters page there was supposed to be a cat species called Chena that was supposed to be Skin-Taker's pet? I headcanon that he brings his pet Chena EVERYWHERE , he carries it on a baby carrier or whatever you put babies in . I just think it's really funny making him a cat parent.
- Joe is just sweet , he gets so mistreated by the crew but he's just nice , it's just the worm making him do things .
Oh yea not really a headcanon I think (?) but a friend and i made this sunny playlist they let me post it on yt so check it out :)
I tried to find some southern-esqe songs that fit my interp of sunny
Anyways that's all :) thanks for the fun lil ask !
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rizardofether · 15 hours ago
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WoW posting again. I am rotating my new WoW OCs in my head and needed to write about them somewhere. A new updated group picture of the main four. Moru got a new staff and they're all standing now.
I'm playing through each expansion campaign at the same time on different characters, except the first three and the newest one. Need to wait till I can buy TWW. Will have a character playing through that as well when I get it.
Whether they're actually canonically only going through that story or not varies. Crystar and Orkos have only been around since Dragonflight so they only take part in the newest two campaigns. The rest likely go through all the campaigns. Moru and Inzu are together for their parts. Not sure about timelines and storylines, more focused on character personalities so far.
Character infos & which campaign I'm playing through with them:
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Crystar - They/He - Dracthyr - Devastation Evoker - Horde - Dragonflight
A weird dracthyr who seems to have an endlessly positive attitude who is not fazed by anything. Joined the Horde because "Its name is funny. I like it!" Has two modes of either talking all the time or being completely silent. Sometimes they just don't feel like talking. Almost always smiling though.
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Remoss - He/Him - Worgen - Affliction Warlock - Alliance - Mists of Pandaria
A very intimidating-looking worgen. In truth he's just very shy. He barely talks because of it. He loves demons aesthetically. Even dressing with similar fashion. This only makes him look scarier. Wishes to be friends with demons.
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Moru - He/Him - Vulpera - Arcane Mage - Horde - Shadowlands
Vulpera merchant and mage who thinks money is the most important thing. Though mainly a merchant, he does many various things to earn money, anything goes for him. Adventure, mercenary work, crafting and gathering materials etc. Sometimes he even scams rich people. He's pretty vain and thinks of himself as a genius.
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Inzu - He/Him - Vulpera - Marksmanship Hunter - Horde - Legion
Moru's hired help. Does various tasks for him. Guarding, scouting, hunting & gathering, combat assistance, whatever is needed. He seems to hate Moru, often insulting him to his face. Moru is unfazed by this behaviour, as he's very used to it. Though if someone else offered to hire him, he'd refuse, explaining that he will keep working for Moru until their contract is over. He says this is for his reputation, though in truth it seems he really does enjoy being with Moru.
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Ocdiir - He/Him - Draenei - Elemental Shaman - Alliance - Battle for Azeroth
Ocdiir is very kind and caring. He cares for everyone, even total strangers. Very quick to call new acquaintances friends. He tends to not have much of a concept of personal space. He tends to go for hugs and other gestures without thinking.
In the part where he and Jaina were being escorted by the Kul Tiran soldiers, I imagined he'd try to shield Jaina with his arm from the onlookers. That scene wouldn't leave my head, he's just such a protector. He'd be a paladin but he didn't have the aptitude for it.
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Verne - He/Him - Kul Tiran - Feral Druid - Alliance - Warlords of Draenor
Druid who always stays in animal form, preferring the "cat" form the most. Actually dislikes his human form and wishes he were born as any kind of animal instead. He left his home to explore the world and see its wonders.
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Orkos - He/They - Dracthyr - Shadow Priest - Alliance - The War Within (eventually)
Haven't really thought of characterization for him yet since I haven't really played him yet. Planning to use the level boost from buying the expansion on him when I get it.
Bonus character I also really like and have played a little:
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Ramise - He/Him - Dracthyr - Fire Mage - Alliance
I played through some of the mage campaign in Legion, enough to get the weapons at least. Loves magic and fire is all I've got for him. Idk if I'll play him much since I already got all the assigned campaigns and not planning to play the earlier ones. Maybe I'll bring him to the next expansion that releases, though who knows I might make an entirely new character for it.
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punkscowardschampions · 1 year ago
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Barly
Carly: [some time after her fun times with Alison because the gals had to cleanse themselves in water and have a reset moment and generally just be allowed to live]
Carly: I’m sorry
Bartley: Why, what for now?
Carly: everything @ bonfire night idk
Bartley: It wasn’t so bad
Bartley: and you didn’t 😱👻 to make it weird, the less good parts
Carly: k grand
Carly: weren’t expecting the air to be cleared this quick but
Bartley: Not surprised you’re feeling the fear this morning, like
Bartley: s’why everyone hates Mondays, I reckon
Carly: im not 🍀🐇🌠 how u r to be feeling that type of way
Bartley: I weren’t even pissed, be why
Bartley: Notice Ronan was off his face too though, by the end
Carly: you was too busy 😍💋🥰💞😘💓’d be why bb
Carly: how are u to raise a glass when youve some lass always on your face 🌺🐝
Bartley: You sound jealous
Bartley: Another zombie girl situation, was it?
Carly: what of another 🤠🤎 for you wasnt it?
Bartley: I don’t know, I’ll not see her again so it doesn’t matter
Carly: u could if you’re after it mattering 🍯💛
Bartley: Tah for the permission, Carls
Carly: I mean cos shes a mate of alis brother & hes a mate of mine
Carly: if you want to see her its not like youd have need of searching every pop up shop for a lass on till
Bartley: You’re well 💔
Bartley: Mosey boy should still have her number, somewhere in his contact list, you can find her
Carly: my god shut up gobshite 😅
Bartley: 😏
Bartley: I just mean, that girl talked too much, when she weren’t attached to my face, I’m not after seeing her again off my back
Carly: ah now theres sense course thats why you was on her constant not cos u like her 😏
Bartley: I’m not being mean, don’t think she even asked what my name was either
Carly: im not calling u mean boy it was a party & yous both had your fun
Bartley: The comparisons are never far off
Carly: youre never far from slagging me but hey i was trying to see how long we’d go before you started
Bartley: Am not
Bartley: the only reason you like Ronan is because he has no opinions of his own and that suits you
Carly: oh please hes loads of opinions of me & they dont suit no more than the 1s the rest of yous lads have do
Bartley: Yeah right, I know how dead easy he is to convince, we do it all the time
Carly: whats it you reckon I’m here wanting to convince him of?
Bartley: I don’t need to say it, you know
Carly: I dont
Bartley: Nah, you’re after tricking me into slagging you already sos you win, more like
Carly: yea cos what a victory thatd b like
Bartley: Your shit game, play a different one
Carly: im playing none im only telling you I’m not after him
Bartley: Does that mean you’re after Moses again
Bartley: better warn his mammy, like
Carly: no never
Bartley: Believe that when I 👀 it
Carly: cant u believe it hurt us getting rated?
Bartley: no, ‘course it did
Bartley: but has he tried to apologise to you yet?
Carly: hes swore to make my life a misery cos i dont fancy fucking him no more, where it was left, more or less
Bartley: Jesus, well
Carly: i think this heres where im meant to warn yous all hes hoping you’ll all get yourselves involved in them fun & games like im scared or care
Bartley: He’s not said anything, not when I’ve been there
Bartley: maybe he was already half-cut when he said that to you, didn’t really mean it
Carly: yea maybe
Bartley: Sounds it
Bartley: he’ll have found someone else to bother by now, forgot all about that
Carly: dont even know how to make a girl feel special w his threats
Bartley: I’m just saying, don’t be scared
Carly: he dont scare me
Bartley: Good
Carly: its your turn to the now
Bartley: My turn to what?
Carly: scare us
Bartley: Not Halloween no more
Carly: only a week gone somehow
Bartley: your getup were a lot scarier craic anyhow 
Carly: least yous all dressed up loads of lads from school never far as I saw
Bartley: Mosey fancies himself enough to love all that
Carly: are you not to bother yourself next year then?
Bartley: I felt like a divvy
Bartley: different for lasses, you all love it
Carly: 🥺 I loved waiting to work out what youd picked to be 💔 for that as the last time & end of an era
Bartley: You’re such a pisstake
Bartley: I’ll try and think on before the day of next time, or go looking alone, so the best costumes don’t get nabbed
Carly: or you could let us make u 1 ❤️🎨✨🧡🧵💚💄🖤 cos I am not a pisstake
Bartley: Oh, sure, be the easiest way to go about being a massive one 😅
Carly: nah youve just massive issues w trust
Bartley: I don’t
Bartley: you’re not serious anyway
Carly: yea I am
Bartley: Maybe then
Bartley: is a whole year off now - 1 week so you’ve got time to be dead ❤️🎨✨🧡🧵💚💄🖤
Carly: yay 🖤🧡🎃🖤🧡👻🤍🧄💀🖤🧡🎃🖤🧡
Carly: dead excited to prove myself
Bartley: You who offered, moody
Carly: you’ve a whole year to work out for yourself when I’m being serious
Bartley: I already know the answer to that
Carly: u so dont
Bartley: Yeah I do, you’re never bloody serious, that’s your problem, girl
Carly: youd not handle me if I was
Bartley: That a threat of 😤 or 😭?
Carly: Id reckon its a reminder of when I tried to talk to you serious at the party & your eyes near fell out your head for the size they went
Bartley: You didn’t mean to say it, was being polite ignoring it
Carly: k eejit youre never polite, your problem
Bartley: Oh, so you let that pair walk all over you but I’m the rude one, how’s that work
Carly: yous can all be, sure, enough of it to go round, hows that?
Bartley: It don’t, you’ve no sense or shame to let him act like that just because you reckon him pretty
Carly: i know ive not, everybody knows ive not
Bartley: You could, you’re not totally braindead
Carly: i feel it
Bartley: act it out enough times for it to be all you hear, sure you do
Carly: it was all i heard before I acted up any time
Bartley: It’s not totally your fault
Carly: remember I go weird when youre nice
Bartley: yeah, don’t stop you having a go the rest of the time, weirdo
Carly: 👶😭 what go like?
Bartley: You can only take a joke off Moses when you want him to fuck you
Carly: hes no jokes when he wants to fuck me or he don’t
Carly: the lad’s loads of things but not gas
Bartley: I never said he was funny
Carly: it werent about him making us laugh
Bartley: no shit
Carly: y talk about moses when it only makes you 😤😠
Bartley: You made it so its all that’s to be said when your name comes up
Carly: wow k then
Bartley: What? You know it’s true
Carly: i never knew that was all you had to say to me but theres us told
Bartley: If you wanted to be mates with us, you wouldn’t have done what you have
Carly: right yea ill be off 😶💚👋
Bartley: For fuck’s sake, can’t you just admit that you did wrong, like
Carly: i have
Carly: what else are you after 🩸🙏📿?
Bartley: A sorry you don’t stick to don’t mean anything, you know
Bartley: You lot never do
Carly: wes done w each other, me & moses, I’m sticking to it
Carly: & ro’s just a friend now
Bartley: Believe it when I see it, yeah
Bartley: You can’t expect everyone to be convinced of that yet
Carly: take long as you need 🤠
Bartley: Whatever, you never listen to good advice
Carly: give it & maybe i’ll
Bartley: You want to do what you’ve done and are gonna keep doing
Bartley: why should I even bother
Carly: you’re not listening yourself I said ⬆️
Carly: but don’t bother w me & my 🍃🌱 if youre no believer in it
Bartley: Prove us wrong, no one’d be happier for you to stop fucking things up
Carly: k 💚
Bartley: K yourself, nightmare
Carly: don’t call me that 
Bartley: calm down
Carly: no
Carly: you sound like him & youre not
Bartley: I’m so sorry I’m not him, Jesus
Carly: you shouldnt b sorry
Carly: nobody is after you being him
Bartley: He’s a bit of a liability but he’ll come round, probably
Carly: I hope he does to yous all
Bartley: There’s only so wild people will put up with but he’s not like that bad
Bartley: long as he’s grafting, not fucking with other people’s families, he’ll not be going anywhere
Carly: yea, he’ll come grand once he grows up
Bartley: Still be a gobshite and a poser but you know
Bartley: worse crimes
Carly: yous lads have all committed them
Bartley: Not my family, not like his, their daddy lets them get away with all the stuff he still wants to
Carly: don’t start me on their daddy, I know my place that much
Bartley: Don’t be grim, or accuse him of that sort of carry on, people get strung up by their balls for less
Carly: not me who hes carrying on with if hes round this caravan
Bartley: There you go, how can any of them be expected to carry themselves with respect when he’s their example
Bartley: If their mammy had any backbone yours would be without hers, you don’t make it that obvious, in front of her and everyone she’s to live with, feeling sorry for her 
Carly: sure, ive no argument there, sorry if youre expecting 1
Bartley: I know you don’t like yours as much as she reckons it so
Carly: I like her how any girl of my age does her mammy, problem lies in her not wanting to act the part
Bartley: or her age
Bartley: I’ve seen you go all dead when she’s acting the maggot, it’s pure shaming, no one proper blames you for her being that mental
Carly: everyone instead reckons i take after her id rather the blame
Bartley: It’s just the same as them, how are you to be better, you’ve no daddy to take the pair of yous in hand either
Carly: Im not mental though
Carly: whatever else I am im not, k? Youve to know that’s so
Bartley: I didn’t say you were, only as a joke
Carly: i cant laugh @ it sorry
Bartley: Alright, alright
Bartley: you’re hanging, I get it
Carly: I hate that youve 👀 me away 💀👻
Bartley: The others don’t notice, not that they’ve ever said and it’d be a weird thing for me to bring up to ‘em
Carly: whyve you?
Bartley: I dunno
Carly: if youre to be looking @ me im to put more effort into being prettier 💄💅✨
Bartley: you’re not
Carly: i know im not thats where the effort is 🎀
Bartley: Leave off with that, you know what I meant
Carly: are you leaving off 👀?
Bartley: I weren’t looking through your window at night, don’t make it sound weird
Carly: its weird u know something they all dont but no surprise
Bartley: Maybe Ro knows, seeing as you twos are so close these days
Bartley: wouldn’t be after telling you if he did
Carly: wes further apart than ever these days but thats my own fault so
Carly: theres only ali who ive let 👀 can’t stop her same as you
Bartley: You can’t stop me
Carly: I dont want to
Bartley: There you go then
Carly: what do you want boy?
Bartley: you talking my ear off, what do you want, girl
Carly: if that was true youd of stayed w me @ the party not your girl [her name]
Bartley: I were being polite, you’ve already been told
Carly: you don’t like me when im high
Bartley: Not really, no
Carly: but I don’t myself when im sober
Bartley: I’ve seen it before, you’re too young and not a bloke
Carly: idk how to make you understand what youve not seen
Bartley: Probably not my business, you don’t have to
Carly: probably cant be inviting you to look in my windows or you’ll be 😤😠 @ me
Bartley: You like mental, even if you don’t wanna be called it
Carly: nobody likes for proper mental
Bartley: nah?
Carly: im not after being locked up where ali’s brother is
Bartley: that’s a bit different, Carls
Carly: i dont feel no different to it unless i take something that changes how 
Bartley: They reckon he killed her, you’ve never done nothing like that, don’t be stupid
Carly: he never she killed herself & sometimes I get why you know
Bartley: you’re not to say things like that
Carly: im no catholic saying or doing isnt off limits
Bartley: We’re right and that’s wrong though
Carly: is it?
Bartley: Yes, you twat, shut up about it
Carly: see, you dont like us when I’m not high neither
Bartley: Why would you say that? Nothing is that bad, is it
Carly: cos
Carly: idk [her mum] had this fella round whos bad enough & i thought hed away when i took myself off w ali but hes no moved himself all that far
Bartley: Go on, what’s his craic?
Carly: - craic
Bartley: Yeah but
Bartley: you seem scared or like, idk
Carly: im too tired to b on how she wants or turn him off hows needed 🥱😴
Bartley: Get him to go outside for a smoke or something
Bartley: just give me a bit, to sort it, yeah
Carly: im not bringing my trouble to you
Carly: no, like
Bartley: We’ve all sisters and nieces here, why do we want that sort on our site
Carly: hes been told im older theyre all of them lied to shes my big sister or best mate, its her craic
Bartley: She’s delusional, he’s got eyes
Carly: men use em to see what suits not whats real
Bartley: Not proper men
Carly: come on shes never filling this caravan up with proper men
Bartley: She can’t be trusted with anything, obviously
Carly: ill go back out idc
Bartley: For God’s sake
Carly: youre invited unless youve work on tomorrow
Bartley: you can’t just bring that up and then drop it like that
Carly: I can’t do fuck all else & im to be sure not letting you
Bartley: I wouldn’t on my own, I’m not thick, I told you give me a second
Carly: you might still be hurt hes a grown man & youre not no older than me
Bartley: No I won’t, I know how to fight, tah
Carly: idk that he dont too, catch yourself on, will u
Bartley: he’s to be outnumbered, calm yourself down
Carly: rich of you telling us to be calm when youre about to 💪🥊🤕
Carly: stop yourself please
Bartley: why should we?
Carly: i said please
Bartley: You should want it handled, why would you not
Carly: how you mean to handle it’ll knock me 🤢🤮 worrying over you
Bartley: None of us will get hurt and he shan’t come back, whatever lies your mammy is telling, it’s easy
Carly: its my fault if any of yous do & even if it werent i care whatever happens
Carly: more than I ever am about where that fella puts himself
Bartley: Why would you tell me and then say we can’t do anything about it
Carly: idk 😵‍💫 i didnt mean to
Bartley: For God’s sake, girl
Carly: I’m sorry
Bartley: Forget it just get out of there and go find Ali
Carly: shes busy or id not have left her
Bartley: go sit in [the communal middle bit where they have the bonfires and whatnot, you know where I mean] then
Carly: [do and send a pic from there, not of you because you don’t wanna show yourself in the state you’re clearly in, but so he knows you’re there] 
Bartley: Alright, good
Carly: i’m doing what im told you have to yourself & not have a scrap w my ma’s latest
Bartley: I shouldn’t listen to you, by all rights
Carly: but youre decent, a good boy 
Bartley: Calling me that isn’t helping your case, like
Carly: what’ll I call you then like?
Bartley: Call you a pisstaker
Carly: idm id have heard worse if i stayed in
Bartley: you’ve not convinced me not doing anything is the right thing to do 
Carly: do something else & you’ll quit thinking about it
Bartley: I shan’t
Carly: im grand now
Bartley: You could’ve put some clothes on, you’ll freeze
Carly: where are you even 👀 from? fuck
Bartley: out my window, which is the opposite of what you said, don’t act like I’ve got a hockey mask and a baseball bat
Carly: don’t look @ me for the now how about 😳
Bartley: You need a blanket, something
Carly: im no going in for it id sooner 🥶
Bartley: [throw one out of your window, can’t just come out, obviously]
Carly: [go grab it and wrap it around yourself while stood right next to his window, could just wait til you’re back seated so he can’t see you as well but obviously we’re not gonna do that]
Bartley: [doing the smallest wave as if you are locked in here, stepping back and out of sight after a pause like that’s enough]
Carly: [doing an oh you kind of lol before she heads back to where she was before, looking over her shoulder as she’s walking though cos you know he’s still lurking even if you can’t see him]
Carly:  💚👽🌱🦗🍐🍃🍏🍀🧃🥝💚
Carly: still idk what to do w how sweet u can be
Bartley: I’m not sweet and I know what it’s shorthand for
Carly: i dont tell us
Bartley: Yeah you do and it’s why you go for lads like Mosey who aren’t sweet
Carly: i got wrong reckoning he was or could be
Bartley: That’s the mammy in you, reckoning he could do no wrong when he’s so sweet when he wants something
Carly: nah its the little girl in us he said hed protect me & I so bad wanted him to
Bartley: He were never after that, don’t think it’s important to
Carly: im stupid
Bartley: if you’d have known, wouldn’t have half the success rate he does, you’re not the only one who falls for it
Carly: 1 of these days youll answer that I’m not 🎱🔮
Bartley: one of these days, you’ll act it, yeah
Carly: took the blanket for a start
Bartley: It’s a start
Carly: & your 👋💚
Bartley: You were doing your best Samara impression, be why
Bartley: 😶 not move on else
Carly: k you hate being called sweet enough to b after me taking it back 🍋💔
Bartley: A bit like your costume
Carly: was gonna do her from the exorcist but it felt like tempting fate for 🤢🤮
Bartley: Be gas to see your head do a 360 though
Carly: oh would it now
Carly: im fair flexible but idk if id go that far
Bartley: Not an 🦉
Carly: ill do you that carry on when shes off down the stairs 
Bartley: 🤣 will ya now
Carly: yea
Bartley: Wait ‘til the next party, would look pure nuts doing it out there on your own
Carly: wait til im somewhere w for proper stairs
Bartley: can’t call anything ‘round here more than steps, true enough
Carly: maybe for your birthday 🎁
Bartley: Where are we after going with stairs then 😏
Carly: id say ali’s but your girl would probably be there & outshine me w her 🎭🩰🎨🎬✨
Bartley: You don’t need to call her that just ‘cos we can’t remember her name
Carly: shes that cos shes after you so bad
Carly: her name’s [whatever it is]
Bartley: Only for the night
Carly: all the nights yous are in the same place
Bartley: And how often do I find myself at 🎭🩰🎨🎬✨ shit, girl?
Carly: you liked it at ali’s did you not? & you wasnt behaving so as youd never be invited again
Bartley: She’s decent craic, sure
Carly: ali or [this gal]
Bartley: Ali
Bartley: I don’t know about her family, mind
Carly: i told you her sisters not well like
Bartley: I know, I know
Carly: she hates me but the rest are decent themselves
Bartley: She wants Ali back, to be sure
Carly: course id have her to myself too if there was any say to be had in it
Bartley: Alright, gay
Carly: the girl’s magic ❤️🍄🧡🐅💛🌞💚🍀💙🧿💜🔮
Bartley: As bad as Ronan, you are
Carly: why arent u?
Bartley: What do you mean?
Carly: y dont you fancy her?
Bartley: ‘Cos Ro does
Carly: did you before you knew about ro?
Bartley: He has for ages, not exactly subtle 
Bartley: She’s pretty, sure, but you don’t do that to mates, nor family
Carly: k true enough
Bartley: I’d say you were about equal, anyway, you know
Carly: what? ah no
Bartley: why not
Carly: why would that be so?
Bartley: I dunno, you’re different but the same
Carly: I wish we were the same
Bartley: Are you jealous of her?
Carly: I’m too happy for her
Carly: but its shite i cant b as happy for myself as well
Bartley: Dunno why you girls can never be happy with yourselves
Carly: it isnt only for how pretty she is though
Carly: its how smart & nice & brave & loads else ❤️🍄🧡🐅💛🌞💚🍀💙🧿💜🔮
Carly: & for her family, all she has
Bartley: Don’t all that make you like her less
Bartley: a 🤏
Carly: no, shes never looking down @ us how id probably if I had all she does
Bartley: suppose not
Bartley: Is the smug cunts who are the worst, aye
Carly: you 👀 the girl over her fence?
Bartley: Yeah, nearly shit myself, she were proper giving it The Ring vibes, her
Bartley: nosy neighbours is one big reason not to have a house
Carly: youre making us wanna watch it now boy chuck your 📺 out
Bartley: bit more rock and roll when they weren’t flatscreen
Bartley: We could watch it, if you lot want to hang out like proper friends, me, you, Ro & Ali
Carly: 📺❤️📼💛🍿💚
Bartley: Something like that
Carly: ill find my hairbrush out before to not scare yous
Bartley: and no pea soup if we watch The Exorcist too
Carly: pissing myself on your carpet would be - craic too but its k ill not be out here in your blanket til then hed not the stamina to have
Bartley: If he’s not gone by [a time we’re deeming too late for her to be outside by] I swear
Carly: oh hes laying down the law
Carly: are you to be my brother or my daddy now?
Bartley: Behave yourself, it isn’t funny, all this
Carly: am like a 🐶 left out sure enough
Bartley: She’s such a
Bartley: you shouldn’t have to do this
Carly: [excuse me being EVIL by saying this man comes outside to smoke and is literally and blatantly chatting Carly up like she isn’t 12 years old, here not replying because we’re here going dead again while this man is the most grim]
Bartley: [not you having to rush out so dramatically this man is gonna be shook until he sees you’re just a teenage boy, coming over and putting your arm around her shoulder like come on, get up, trying not to look at or acknowledge this creep right now because you’re blatantly fuming]
Carly: [this poor girl has left the building because you just know that gross man was too in her grill and touching her and I’m soz we cannot, purely moving because this boy is moving her rn, the audacity of her mother and the boyfriends she picks]
Bartley: [direct her into your caravan via holding her shoulders, this man better hush because if this boy has to fight you, his fam will come out and fuck you up, gotta know where you are, honey; sit this girl down on your sofa like all that’s happened is a change of seat and your jaw isn’t clenched so tight you feel like it’s stuck that way]
Carly: [get back inside to the age appropriate lady or leave sir those are your choices, you can’t be that stupid, god only knows how long poor Carly will stay put before she’s finally back in the room and then is hugging her knees to her chest, still wrapped in this blanket, and risking a look at this boy like he’s gonna be mad at her instead of the fucked up circumstances in which she finds herself through no fault of her own]
Bartley: [not really helping you think otherwise with our face like thunder over this but can’t help being that bitch I’m afraid, the way we kept glaring out the window ‘til that dude went away and are now just pacing lowkey, putting the telly on, as you pass and clearly catch her eye, like that is the most comforting thing you can manage in these circumstances]
Carly: [looking away from this boy SO immediately when he catches your eye because genuinely feel like a kicked dog in this moment as if everything is your fault and you’ve done the wrong thing over and over again from the second you got back from having fun with Alison ‘he’s gone, I’ll myself’ taking this blanket off and trying to neatly fold it but you’re all shaky and upset so you can’t and it feels like an impossible task ‘sorry’ as if it’s for the folding fail and not everything]
Bartley: [the ‘wait’ coming out a bit too fast and loud, so you’re going redder than your mad face already is because don’t want her to think you’re scared of this man, kicking this blanket aside because I highly doubt you’re neat, you’re teenage boys with your own space lmao and you could not care less about said blanket right now ‘just chill’ as if that’s an easily achievable thing]
Carly: [when it makes you jump because it’s sudden and loud and you didn’t expect him to say it or anything in fact and that makes you feel even more embarrassed and sad than you already do, like there are literal tears coming to this girl’s eyes about it that she’s trying not to shed in front of this angry boy ‘I can’t’ so quietly because you dare not express how !! and true that is when you already think he thinks you’re mentally ill ‘I’d-’ stopping yourself cos you were about to say something about needing to get drunk/high again there and you know he hates it and doesn’t understand ‘I can’t’]
Bartley: [‘please don’t’ when you’re saying please but you’re also wincing because you in no way know how to handle this or what you’re meant to do now she’s here and so are you ‘you’re to tell her never again’ as if this is a thing that will work because got to say something and it should be a warning she listens to ‘or I will’]
Carly: [‘I’ve tried for years and years’ in that resigned way of you have and it hasn’t changed anything ‘at the first, I think I was 10, Christ knows how old I looked to him’ with a shrug because you do know, you aren’t a girl who looks older and that’s the tea]
Bartley: [just cursing this man out in your own language, as well as all the others before, under your breath but so angrily ‘you’d be better off without her’ as the thing you say in English and more directly to her]
Carly: [when you probably understand most if not all of what he’s saying anyway because you’ve always lived here and thus have picked it up like a 2nd language basically ‘she’s my ma, still’ said like whether she acts it or not because she absolutely never does but you have love for her and want her to nevertheless]
Bartley: [the noise of scorn that honestly deserves at this point, ma’am, shaking our head because ‘my point remains’ throwing yourself down into the armchair/other sofa because a lot of pent up emotions and nowhere to put them right now so having to do everything in a dramatic fashion]
Carly: [‘without her I don’t know where I’d be’ because truly where would they put you gal ‘except not here, sure look, maybe that’d be better but I’m not after going off’ just like this is my home soz everyone]
Bartley: [still shaking your head, shrug your shoulders, only stopping shaking your head when you put in your hands and breathe out in frustration]
Carly: [‘yeah’ like yeah I know, cos we’re frustrated by our lot in life too sir but we don’t feel like there is anything we can do to change it other than the unhealthy coping mechanisms we have]
Bartley: [‘your room have a lock on it?’ in such a matter of fact, resigned kind of tone because you don’t know what else you can do right now]
Carly: [shake your head because you’re not the sort of girl to be doing DIY like that to keep yourself safe, Ali is but you’ve clearly not expressed how badly you need one and it’s not every dude your mother brings home who’s acting like this ‘but I’ve the bathroom’ like that’s fine]
Bartley: [looking at her like no it is not before looking to the TV you put on as if you’re watching it remotely ‘we’ll put one on’]
Carly: [looking at him only when he’s looking at the TV despite the fact we all know he can feel it ‘okay’ quietly cos we’re accepting this not fighting him on it or saying anything bants etc]
Bartley: [not looking back, just nodding because can’t commit to any more, switching the channel, to something you can at least say you want to watch, opposed to whatever just came on when you put this telly on]
Carly: [getting up to go like you can just quietly slip out like a little ghost as though you were never here but obvs stopping before you get to the door and turning back like - because you wanna thank him for what he did but you don’t know how to because it feels SO big, literally nobody cares about this girl but Alison and that cannot be overstated ‘you are decent, a good boy’ said sincerely like no bants or lies detected]
Bartley: [looking over at her like you did not just say that but you can’t help but do a little smirk, almost as if it’s against your will with how tiny it is but still, rubbing the back of your neck ‘away with you now’]
Carly: [doing a lil smile back because she can’t help that either ‘you’re not to watch me’ like he’s gonna be at the window lurking until she’s inside when it’s not far to go at all, but ofc said like he absolutely can and she doesn’t mind because she doesn’t and in fact wants him to, wrapping her arms around herself in preparation for how cold it’ll be outside and how much she doesn’t really wanna head back there cos her mum will either be in a mood this man has left and wanting to overshare about it or her bestie as per and wanting to keep the party going and neither is the wanted vibe]
Bartley: [flipping her off for calling you a stalker but you’re grinning back more openly so she knows you’re all good here, even if you know what her mother is like and do not envy her going back, you can’t offer her an alternative ‘take the blanket’ as a throwaway comment as she hugs herself because it do be chilly]
Carly: [doing the kind of pure and happy lol she did at bonfire night which is usually reserved for Ali only and/or being high as she slips out of the door, waving off his blanket offer like no no I couldn’t possibly ‘it’s yours’ as if he needs it more here for his TV watching]
Bartley: I’ll get you a lock after work tomorrow
Carly: 🔒💚
Carly: ill sleep for the knowing of it
Bartley: I’m glad, go get some, said you were tired
Carly: you’ve work ill let you get your head down bb
Bartley: 👌
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8-evil-annoying-catboys · 3 months ago
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i think horror in a sort of nondescript, could-be-anywhere type of place is underrated and scarier than a Big Spooky Zone sort of horror, bc you can’t blame the protagonists for buying the spooky, obviously haunted house, or staying completely alone in a cabin in the most isolated part of the woods they can possibly find when they’re from the middle of the city, or whatever, if it’s NOT obviously spooky and extraordinary. there’s something innately terrifying about horror in a setting that very easily mirrors the setting of the target audience’s everyday life, bc then you leave them thinking “i pass a building like that every day. my church has a door that looks exactly like that. that could be me.”
but i also don’t think that’s the most interesting possible interpretation of saying that the lack of swag is the horror. maybe im biased, since i’m very much a fan of psychological horror and not a really big fan of… most other types of horror… but i think that if there’s nothing extraordinary about the Big Bad, either, that’s even scarier. sure, a spooky demon that eats children set against a mundane backdrop of an american everyman’s protestant church is great and all, but what if the big bad isn’t a demon at all, but just the pastor, or even just Some Guy who goes to church every week, often multiple times in a week? and maybe the horror is sort of metaphorical, there’s some element of the supernatural like this guy literally sucks the life out of people who go to this church, but not before getting them to convince more people to come to church to replace them several times over, or maybe it’s more of a “mundane” metaphor and the guy just straight up kills people without any supernatural powers or anything, kills them like how a real person would have to do it to highlight that he’s just like a real person… but maybe that’s not it either. i’m not exactly sure where i’m going with this bc i’ve never written horror so my ideas are kind of refusing to be articulated into words, but i think it could be cool if there was a horror movie that almost seemed like a religious movie about a particularly righteous pastor, except every single thing is just the slightest bit Off, playing into the uncanny valley’s territory just enough to be noticeable, maybe ramping up the unease as time passes and the big scary payoff almost feels out of nowhere, except really your subconscious has been expecting something to be Wrong ever since the first few minutes of the film and that expectation has only grown throughout the buildup. maybe the big scary payoff is kind of mundane in its way too. idk, someone with more practice writing psychological horror could probably do something great with this concept but i lack experience in that specific area :/
I think Protestantism is underrepresented in horror movies because it has no swag. Like, I can buy ominous Latin chanting as a soundtrack to demonic possession, but like...imagine that scene with Christian rock instead.
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blisslilywrites · 4 years ago
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How would GOM react if a guy was flirting with you. Thank you in advance.
A/N: basically,,,, RIP DUDE(s) WHO TRIED TO FLIRT WITH YOU AHAHAHHAHAHA.. anyway this was pretty short but i hope you still like it nonetheless/(//w//)/ - lily
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AKASHI SEIJUUROU
lol i pity the guy who tries to flirt with you knowing that you’re akashi’s girl</3
no one would dare we all know that
but say some douche didn’t or had the guts to try to flirt with you and say akashi saw it happen
ohohohhooo
rip douche
akashi would walk up to you all smiles and nonchalantly put an arm around your shoulder or your waist and tell you he has something urgent to discuss with you
as he’s about to lead you away he’ll stare daggers at the guy and by staring daggers i mean literal daggers
cuz yk,,, akashi has a pretty intense aura
if mr. douche still doesnt get the message and tries to flirt with you again at some other time….
welp:’(
akashi would probably be logical and let you handle it yourself but if you, for some reason, still haven’t realized mr. douche is flirting with you,,,,, akashi will take matters into his own hands
by ofc lightly threatening mr. douche
akashi’s light threats are definitely more than enough to scare away anybody who thinks they can flirt with his s/o
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AOMINE DAIKI
to others,,, aomine may not seem like the best boyfriend 
some other boys might think that and try to flirt with you whether jokingly or seriously
either way tho… it makes aomine pissed af
like excuse you?? that’s HIS s/o no one else can flirt with you bUT him
or… “the only one that can flirt with y/n is me” as he might put it
yeah he’s pretty possessive but he’ll generally not rlly say anything if the flirting wasn’t that much
if it was EXCESSIVE and OBVIOUS flirting tho… well he’d prolly be upset about it:,(
depending on the person, he may get a twinge of jealousy and start an intense make out session later 
or he might get a bit pouty altho this one isn’t as likely
generally tho he’d just wrap his arm around you or call you “babe” and just make it rlly rlly obvious that you’re already taken
by none other than him ofc
and it’s usually enough,,, seeing as he’s a pretty big guy and looks pretty strong too
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KISE RYOUTA
kise’s normally all over you and its very much obvious to others that he’s with you,, or at least into you
but if someone were to flirt with you…
he’ll probably try to “intercept” sorry my vocab rlly bad rn the flirting and basically just talk a lot and respond to all your courter’s advances
he’ll leave no room for you or for them to talk and they’ll eventually just leave
after they do,, he’d turn to you and say smth like, “You know y/n,, I rlly dont like it when other guys flirt at you:)”
akjgkl idk just picturing it is just…. klajdlsgjlsbkO{@u5902
anywayyss he wouldn’t do anything much but just be pretty petty bout other guys flirting with you
on the other hand,, sometimes he’d just go like “AHH Y/N-CCHI IS SO ATTRACTIVE AND AMAZING OFC OTHERS WOULD TRY TO FLIRT WITH YOU~~ <333”
he’ll do this when he’s in a good mood and when he doesn’t think the flirting was smth serious or smth that threatens him in any way
he trusts you know enough not to flirt back anyway U.U
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MIDORIMA SHINTAROU
midorima is very… awkward when it comes to others flirting with you
it happens a lot,, a lot more than he’d like
and it unsettles him that people actually have the guts to shamelessly flirt with you
eSPECIALLY IN FRONT OF HIM
but poor boy doesnt rlly know how to react
he just kinda,,,
*huffs*
*straightens glasses*
*tells them to stop in a direct manner*
his methods may be… unconventional
but its rlly rlly effective
(plus the fact that he’s huge and very broad scares them away pretty easily)
no one would wanna push midorima when he’s being that direct with them
it simply isnt worth the hassle
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MURASAKIBARA ATSUSHI
so the other guys (minus akashi) are already pretty big and scary enough to make those feeling flirtatious around you leave
murasakibara is pretty much the same but EVEN BIGGER and EVEN SCARIER
what’s worse is he’s also pretty direct and you never know when he’s actually upset
so if he seems some guy flirting with you
or even talking to you tbh
he’ll walk up to you guys,, and trust me when he “walks up” it looks rlly menacing
and either he’ll just stand there (if he has nothing he wants you to do) 
or he’ll just drag you away to get snacks or go home or go watch him practice basketball or literally anything rlly
if he decides to just stand there and much on some food or smth.. its gonna be rlly lowkey scary
like just imagine this giant staring down at you with an unreadable expression but very much possibly an angry/upset one
yeah it can be pretty nerve-wracking for those who arent used to him
and its normally more than enough to get any guy to stop flirting with you
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artemis-fowl-angst · 4 years ago
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my brain has given me quite a few chaotic ideas as of late and id like to share them now
artemis getting older and building pretty much wonka’s chocolate factory and playing the role of willy wonka
au where opal has a similar reset power as the player from undertale, and artemis playing the role of sans, the only one able to really remember the reset. I like the idea of him being able to manipulate the code of the game, and opal constantly re-running the world and reseting it watch its affect on artemis and tourture the people she hates. another thing for this one is if in one timeine she tried something new and befriended foaly to get at artemis from a difrent angle and so they have to pretend not to know eachother while secretly trying to sabatodge eachother. 
artemis coming back to st. bartlbys as a teacher just to annoy all the techers he used to have that havent retired yet
bnha-esc au, where most people have superpowers called “pings” dr po has a telepathy or honesty ping, which informs him about the fairies, looping him in with the adventures
artemis survies tlg, but is just blinded in his fairie eye
au where artemis never quite recovers from atlantis complex, only using ongoing treatment to help a bit, not curing it completely
opal is redeemed sorta and she has to help the main cast fight against an even scarier villian, resulting in petty tension and bickering between foaly, opal, and artemis while butler and holly actually go out and save the world
joker artemis and batman(girl?) holly
artemis, holly, root, and butler have to go on a roadtrip together (in between arctic incedent and eternity code) to save the world or somehing idc and we get to see them interacting
me projecting chronic illness onto artemis? no, never.....
@fowlblue ‘s villian au but after a decade or two artemis dies at a young age somehow and we get to see villianous and now adult artemis interactig with butler in the afterlife
we need more about juliets wrestling carrer
we also also need more from juleit and artemis growing up together being rasied by bulter
we also also also need more angst for child arty cause you know fowl senoir wasnt a good parent before hand
au where aretmis and alex either adopt or make a child of their own using fancy genetics shit idk how it works and we meet child, another thing is if this child grows up and has kid and we get to see artemis as a grandpa because everyone knows that would be wonderul
sorry for all the typos im typing fast to get all o these down before i forget them
lawyer au, cause artemis as a laywer would be great
artemis who aso participates in pride parades and does drag with juleit woud also be great
madame ko coming to fowl manor to asses the job the butlers are doing and artemis getting into an argument with her over juliet’s care of the twins and domovoi just being like “ what went wrong in my life, why am i having to mediate an arugument between the two most terrifying people i’ve met?”
artemis who can talk to crows because i said so
@otomefowl ‘s marvel timeine but deadpool comes with them through the portal
bird artemis cant see glass
i have more,  but that woud take too long and im in school rn, send me an ask if you want some more chaotic ideas and alspo sorry for a the typos im typing fast
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luymani · 2 years ago
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HI KADE IM BACK FROM THE DEAD FR 💯 anyway now its UR TURN TO ANSWER QUESTIONS that i def did not steal from u ……
1. what makes u laugh the most?
2. what’s one song that’s stuck in ur head rn?
3. whats ur fav holiday and why?
4. do u like rollercoasters or not?
5. what’s smth (or a few things) that bring u comfort? like an item, series, character, etc
but ofc to be original ill add some bonus questions 😋:
6. if you could be anything for a day, what would it be?
7. what would u sing at karaoke night??
8. list two pet peeves!! (or icks ig??)
HAVE FUN ANSWERING im going to spam ur notifs now <3
i truly apologize for taking so long i just kept procrastinating on these answers 😭
1. MY SISTER she’s probably the funniest person ik. and its extra funny when we make jokes and laugh so hard that no sound comes out of our mouths . but sometimes she’s mean to me 😒
2. TONDEMO WONDERZ i cant stop doing the dance to it either. and gee by girls generation is also stuck in my head
3. ok for the aesthetic i like valentines day but like. literally nothing happens for me on that day. i like christmas the most tho bc the Feeling of it brings me a lot of comfort… also i just like getting gifts and money
4. it kinda depends on which rollercoaster but for the most part i do like them!!! but for some of the scarier ones i’m like. crying and closing my eyes and chanting to myself but i still enjoy them in a way idk
5. DENKI OFC no explanation is needed
all of the prsk charas and ships i like (theres too many to name)
OH some comfort songs: everybody talks by neon trees, this side of paradise by coyote theory, a guy that i’d kinda be into from bmc, i want you by mitski, and merry go round of life from hmc
one comfort item is my designated hugging pillow i literally can’t sleep without it. where am i supposed to put my arms
madoka magica is a comfort too and i realize it’s one of the least comforting shows but. it is for me
and i feel like anytbing that i find nostalgic is comforting to me
6. i would be a cat bc….. i like cats
7. usually when i do karaoke w my sister we try to sing prsk songs (even tho we don’t know japanese so we’re just struggling)
sometimes me and my friends sing showtunes when we’re at filipino parties and we embarrass ourselves but it’s ok we’re having fun
8. WHEN PPL COUGH OR CLEAR THEIR THROAT OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD i can’t express how much i hate it. also i dont like hypocrites
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flowers-of-io · 3 years ago
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@eri-223​ you brought it upon yourself, now I won’t shut up c:
OKAY SO
I can’t really draw neat straight lines between the two, but there’s so much aesthetic similarity to me, particularly with Toland and the Hive-Ascendancy thing. Maybe it’s just me dying for the vibes (or loving POTO in general since I was 9), but it struck me today how Eris/Toland--when it’s made a Working ship--is basically everything Christine/Erik is not. There is so much to be said about Christine/Erik alone, but to me it’s an epitome of why gothic-novel-esque dynamics don’t really work in the long run when they don’t move past being just Gothic and Tragic. And hear me out. A goodhearted, elfin woman at her vulnerable point (grief over father) meets a honey-voiced stranger and has this secret thing with him, this music they share in the dead of night, and it’s intoxicating because music *is* her passion (and something she has deep emotions over in itself, the thing that is most hers in the world) and it’s secret, and a whole other world to what she’s facing in the daytime. The mystery is intriguing, and that’s intoxicating too. And there’s an uncomfortable power imbalance but it doesn’t bother you just yet, because there isn’t really any attraction between the two--not in the romantic-as-in-love sense at least, rather this romantic-as-in-romanticism pull all dark beautiful secret things have.
And here we can shout a fucking thank you at Erik for completely ruining that beauty by being an absolute creep. But Chrissie doesn’t know that yet. And so he leads her deep down into the dark, into his world of darkness and secrecy and yet twisted beauty, and she is living the mystery now, she’s in this nighttime world they would share in secret. And she’s close enough to take a peek behind the mask, something she was so violently curious about and attracted to, a glance into the dark abyss of his soul that is so intriguing. And so she does peek, and what she finds is terrifying rot.
And this, THIS is the best moment of the entire thing to me. This story could be well off without Raoul (whom I deeply love and cherish but he ruins the gothic) because he adds this romantic tension of a love triangle (which I absolutely loathe because ugh. love triangles.) to what could have been a tale of a girl torn between the world of day and night rather than two men who each love her in a different way. There’s so much of Persephone-sque struggle in Christine’s soul that has been shunned by the story imo, and would have made the whole thing better in the long run (and maybe less grossly-abusive on Erik’s part).
So let’s circle back to Toland, another pale, bony, possibly disfigured brunet in a dark coat with a living room full of skulls and candles (the vibes, huh. he probably owned a boat and a horse too). If we take Eris/Toland as starting off before the Hellmouth (I’m really starting to tentatively test my ground on this hhhng), it feels like the same story slightly to the left. Granted, Eris has more agency, but there’s still a huge power imbalance in her and Eriana coming to Toland--an exiled genius|madman with an evil black crow (Guren) perching on his shoulder--and asking him for help, laying their and their team’s lives at his feet - him, who could probably kill them in seventeen different yet equally fancy ways were he more invested! And there is so much darkness here already because how dark it must have been in Eris’ soul to agree on this revenge fantasy, what an abyss Eriana’s eyes must have been hiding; how desperate they must have been to come to him, to even consider this, to choose a possibility of painful, screaming agony in the Hellmouth over the ache they were feeling now. And so there’s vulnerability, too, in a way - because they’re desperate, because they’re hurting, because everything has been taken from them and they have nothing else to do but this ridiculous, mad plan. And oh he can abuse this void, he can make them do whatever he wants and they’d do it gladly, and I have a feeling both Eris and Eriana are aware of that.
And so they work, in secret, cracking secrets of the Hive, tasting the rot of the forbidden fruit, hiding from the daylight with their dark, heretic, nighttime folly. I think there is a threshold at wherever it is they are meeting--be it a room or a house, Eriana’s kitchen or Toland’s disturbing “lab”--in the doorway, between the bright but empty world of patrols and strikes and dead friends and this horrid, twisted, yet fascinating realm of promised vengeance. And I think Eris learns, hungry for secrets, hungry perhaps for Toland’s eyes on her because all dark beautiful secret things have a pull, and she can’t tell if she’s more drunk on the adventure, or the heresy they’re so blatantly committing, or him. And maybe he reciprocates in his own twisted way, maybe they talk or kiss over the parchment pages, and she cannot tell--she cannot tell if his eyes are truly for her or the Hive, the mystery, the thing they’re doing. I’m thinking of what you wrote, how “he wanted Ascendance as badly as she wanted him”. But despite that--or maybe because of it--she allows herself to be led deep down into the dark, into his world of darkness and secrecy and yet twisted beauty, and she is living the mystery now, she’s in this nighttime world they would share in secret. Is it the Hellmouth? Maybe, though I think it’s a process that spans between their secret studies of the Hive and the midst of their descent, when Vell is dead and maybe they’re all doomed, and Toland’s eyes twinkle in the dark and it’s such beautiful madness she cannot help staring. And the checkpoint has come, time to show cards--and she’s close enough to take a peek behind the mask, something she was so violently curious about and attracted to, a glance into the dark abyss of his soul that was so intriguing. And so she does peek, and what she finds is terrifying rot.
I think this is Ir Yut, or maybe a little bit earlier, but nevertheless the bubble bursts and Eris is left in the dark alone and betrayed. That’s of little concern, of course, when the Hive is hunting you down and all you hear is your friends’ dying screams, but it still hurts, it’s still bitter, it’s still so, so wrong. I like to think he comes to teach her then, maybe give her the journals, and it’s a whirlwind of madness and horror and fury and gore, but he’s whatever comfort she can hope for at this point. It’s twisted, it’s awful, it’s dark-gothic rotten, it’s as wrong and horrid as Erik/Christine is as a whole.
But then they’re given the chance Erik/Christine never got. They’re allowed to outgrow the rot. There’s so much dysfunctionality and disturb going on in most gothic-esque “love” stories because it’s not love, it’s attraction taken for a spin and often grossly abused. Love is growth. I like to think of what must have been going on in Eris’ head (and Toland’s too, perhaps, though I doubt he had one at that point) when they were exchanging the letters, the dearest Eris right next to did you watch me carve out each eye; now that she’s wiser, and scarred, and not so stupid anymore--but there’s still that dark pull she can’t help, now even scarier than before that she knows him for what he really is, now that she’s seen the rot. There’s so much hurt to be outgrown, so much betrayal, but she finds he’s yet again whatever comfort she can hope for (that entry *is* called A Light In The Darkness, huh). I could wax poetic about this whole process but I think you captured it so well in STM I don’t have much else to add.
I wanted to throw quotes into it but couldn’t quite fit them into this, uh, essay (which I didn’t absolutely re-read), and I guess Music of the Night would apply here but it’s ripe with uncomfortable sexual tension?? And aside from that (which is in its entirety a trip) just consider these ah
this whole moment
also this
He'll always be there singing songs in my head  Is this Eris in the letters phase? maybe. I performed a vibe check and it showed positive
Wandering Child for how unhealthy-twisted and beautiful it is (ignore Raoul, I have no metaphor for him in this au)
For either way you choose, you cannot win  It’s just a good quote y’all
Farewell my fallen idol and false friend / We had such hopes, and now those hopes are shattered 
Angel of Music, you deceived me / I gave you my mind blindly  (HOW SHE WHISPERS THAT LAST PART IN THE MOVIE OK)
Stranger than you dreamt it  now you’re stranded in the Hellmouth good job
What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn / Beyond the point of no return
The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn
Down that path into darkness deep as hell  but Toland smiles while he sings this
And of course the classic,  And in this labyrinth where night is blind / The Phantom of the Opera is here inside my mind
Wow! I didn’t even get to the Dreaming City! It’s way more vague than the whole Eris/Toland thing because of course ships take up 80% of my brainspace but idk I just find it so incredibly fitting when it comes to paralleling Savathun/Dul Incaru terrorising the Dreaming City with what Erik does to the opera. Like, everybody knows he’s There but no one can do anything about it, he sends vague threats and kills people but nobody can catch him, and the place is just a giant playground for him to have fun and achieve his personal goals in. And whatever the hell is going on in Masquerade, like
Masquerade! Seething shadows breathing lies Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you Masquerade! Leering satyrs, peering eyes Masquerade! Run and hide, but a face will still pursue you
wow that sure is subtle. Seething shadows breathing lies, huh. Run and hide, but a face will still pursue you :) And then he crashes the party in a fucking Red Death costume. If this doesn’t have huge Dul Incaru/Siren of Riven energy I don’t know what has.
And of course the shitshow only starts when we kill Riven but the seeds have been planted long, long ago. If you listen closely, you can hear Petra screaming in confusion somewhere under box five.
I know most of this second part is a stretch, BUT! this is my au. And for the record, I know there are very mixed feeling about the 2004 POTO movie but to me personally it was a formative experience, first watched on a very crappy TV in music class at the age of 9 and not even in its entirety, but I was already captivated and shaken to the core, and there’s still, after all those years, something that screams at my soul when I hear the first notes.
And, as a treat for those who suffered with me until the end of this essay,
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sydneyshipsstuff · 4 years ago
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so uh last night at like 4 am i couldnt sleep, decided to walk my dog, and came up with this bad boy. It’s a rough draft, though. um @professional-benaddict read it and told me to post it, so whatever rafni says goes. 
-Little! Peter with like everyone lmao (platonically), but main pairing is Tony x Peter. everyone is 18+ and Littles are known. but yeah, I call this “uncanonically Canon AU” because it follows canon character tropes (except Peter).
----------------
so i LOVE the doctor trope w stephen and tony to death, like probably a lil too much, but hear me out
--canon tony and the avengers with not canon (aka powerless) little peter
--im thinking how they met is before peter became classified as a little, he was smart smart. so, he still gets the internship, but a real one this time.
--hes hanging out with the other interns when he feels himself regress. he freaks and goes to hide in a bathroom or something
--he runs into (probably pepper??) someone and they help him get out of the tower because he's obviously very vulnerable
--they (pepper?) take him to the hospital to get tested and find out hes a high care little. once they find out peter freaks out because omg he cant work like this
--(pepper?) assures him that they will figure it our, but with no CG, and just for plot sake, he also is living alone at this point so they dont feel comfortable sending him home, so he stays overnight, at least, in the hospital
--(pepper?) goes to talk to tony himself about this since hes the one who chose and hired the interns. tony isnt quite sure what to do because peter is one of the best in their group
--(pepper?) suggests that he go have a one on one talk with peter and see what the boy wants to do with his future, and also meet with the doctors to see what they think is best for his future
--now, tony has met peter a few times, and the kid is pretty cool, but he never really cared about him (harsh, but canon tony is pretty reserved so yuh) so, when he goes into the hospital room to talk with him, hes mentally preparing to never see peter again
--but, when he walks in, he sees peter sat on a cot carefully coloring in an avengers coloring book, and his entire aura is different and /adorable/
--as if he wasnt already kinda done for, when peter notices he's there, he looks up, eyes blown wide and a kid-like face on full of awe
--he sits on the end of the bed and they simply stare at each other before peter finally gets the courage to ask why tony is there, stuttering through it like an adorable mess
--tony freaks out, because as good as peter is, he planned on letting peter down, but now that hes here, all he wants is to see the boy.
--instead he smooths his nervousness and easily asks about how the boy is doing. he asks if peter has a CG, and predicably, peter just sadly shakes his head
--anyways i dont really know how this part would be worded, and it probably wouldnt happen in just one day, but eventually tony asks peter if he wants tony to take care of him
--peter is a cutie and accepts, again dont really have this part planned out, im akward when it comes to writing about the adopting of a little
--he goes with tony and since he lives in the tower, he also gets the avengers as glorified CGs. now this is the part i LOVE
***added part by Rafni:
"I’d imagine that Peter would just be kept in the hospital, like he doesn’t need any meds nor saline so he doesn’t even have a drip nor is he hooked up to any monitors. He is just there in the hospital pyjamas colouring and waiting for someone to take care of him🥺👀"
And since there’s no medical concerns (anymore) the nurses would have more time to just chat with Peter and make sure he is like mentally taken care of 🌸🌸
---
tony stark- he's obviously the main man and does all the main caring. hes the one who sleeps with peter and makes sure he gets food, and plans the days. he also sometimes will hand make little gadgets (safe ofc) to occupy peter. he gets peter little engineering/inventing kits and will hold back any groans he has as peter hits his leg with a plastic hammer and screwdriver. he also is the one who is ALWAYS there, when he cries, when he's happy, when he's sad.
thor- he lets peter play with his hair, and even lets the boy snuggle, and sometimes even chew on, mjolnir (because of course peter would be worthy)
steve rogers- he lets peter look at and hold the shield. one day he finds the boy curled like a cat dosing on the inside of it
natasha- she speaks in russian to him, and when he goes outside to the park, shes there making sure no one disturbs him
wanda+sam (i had an idea for them when i originally thought of this, but i cant remember it now :/)
bucky- he lets peter also mess with his hair, although more rare than thor, but he does let peter suck on his metal fingers when hes really small, and will scratch peters scalp with it, the metal scratching much better than normal skin. also if he ever gets a fever, the cold of the arm feels amazing on his forehead
bruce- not strictly canon since hes more sciency than doctor, but i imagine bruce is the one who does checkups and takes care of the meds when peter is sick
stephen- he doesnt do it often, plus he's not at the tower much, but hell do little harmless "magic" tricks to excite Peter and when peter gets grumpy, stephen will give him a little stress spell thing to calm peter down
peter quill- i imagine hes the one who is down to do lots of fun stuff, but is also the most reckless towards the actions suited towards littles, getting a lot of scolding from tony. also, he has great taste in music, so when peter has bursts of energy, he'll bounce around the room dancing to old 80s music
rocket- hes the closest peters ever gonna get to a pet, and with lots of bribing from tony, rocket /occasionally/ lets peter pet him and feed him "treats", sometimes peter will ask rocket to do a trick like jump or spin, but rocket with always decline...at first. peters trademark pouts do the trick because either rocket will concede and hurt his pride, or tony will see and threaten rocket into making his little boy happy. its always worth it to see the happy little squirms and claps
gamora- she's the resident story teller. when its bedtime, she'll share her cool space stories, leaving out the gory/scarier aspects. it always does the trick as hes out in minutes. sometimes hell catch her and peter q engaging in loving activities (ie kissing, hugging, whatever), and he'll just giggle away, and as embarrassed as gamora gets, not being an openly affectionate person, she might just go to the extreme to hear the cute giggles out of the little boy
clint- hes pretty chill with peter. he also likes to play games with the boy, playing things like peek-a-boo when he's super small, or playing darts when he feels older. tony isnt /too/ happy about it, but its better than quill so he doesnt say anything.
pepper is there too because i love the idea of tony working away somewhere and pepper calling peter in, handing him a few sheets of paper, sometimes actual documents, sometimes just scratch paper to entertaim the boy, before asking peter to deliver them to tony. she always has a smile when peter eagerly nods with his whole body before running to the office to give tony the papers. it almost always ends with peter in his lap, but it /always/ ends in tony praising him, saying something along the lines of 'theres my little helper boy. look at you'
---
--on any particular day peter wakes up aged up, he doesn't even miss his old internship because this life is so much better, although on these days tony actually lets him help with some safer stuff in the lab with him
--also, they are still the avengers and still have to save the universe. tony leaves him in the care of Happy or Pepper, trusting them both to handle him. sometimes, it ends in disaster. sometimes, they are lucky enough to find happy laying on the couch, with a drooling little boy soaking his suit
--no matter how things end up, it never gets old being able to come home and cuddle up with the reason tony wants to save the universe.
--its no surprise peter is able to help the man just as much as tony helps him. tony stops locking himself up so late at night so he can put peter to bed and cuddle up. he stops drinking when he's stressed, instead finding his boy and reading a story to him. his hookups end, he wants to be there for peter all the time. he gets more work done, the added bonus of having a pretty little boy in his lap helping keep his mind on track.
--tony still has his canon issues, but having peter there makes everything a little more manageable. and when he eventually gets too old to be ironman, its okay, because his universe is lying in bed, a red pacifier in his mouth, and a family of superheroes softly arguing about who the boy loves most
--and despite tony being a narcissist, he knows this is not that, when he thinks that without a doubt he is peters favorite. after all, peter helped him see the good inside the bad
---
so uh yeah thats all i had to say. maybe in the future it will become an actual thing, idk. i still have so many projects im working on first. feel free to add whatever you want to it though !!
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