#idk the wanting. the wanting i understand. find compelling in a relatable way. i just don't like romantic relationships lol

[callixton]

genuinely what happened to make me so romance repulsed. i was not always like this

[canmom]

reading Brainwyrms by Alison Rumfitt. it's interesting. clearly part of the post-Topside wave of trans lit, with the same 'plugged in to twitter' energy, but way more British about it. which means most of the allusions are very transparent to me. it's a combo of... hardcore kink driven romance as the main arc, in a near-future setting in which TERFism goes further to the point of outright bombings, and a scifi element with alien brain parasites that it's gradually building towards.

compellingly written, I'll give it that for sure - I lay down to read for a bit and before I knew it I'd read like a third of the book. the main character's disaffected, traumatised air is well observed, and the kink doesn't hold back.

I think my reservation with it so far is that it feels a little too much like a polemic blog post about the way things are going. the MC Frankie is a trans woman with a pregnancy kink who survived a bombing at a GIC and now works in social media moderation - it's all stuff that is blatantly Relevant To The Argument, as it were. it's tricky to criticise it for that because it's like, what you're saying is that it's tightly constructed and thematically consistent and that's bad somehow? but I think I've come to feel that I like fiction to bring me something a little new and unfamiliar.

the chapter I most enjoyed so far was actually a more metaphorical, abstract interlude, in which resistance to fascism is cast as becoming 'one mass of queer flesh, which now grabbed and clawed...'; 'faces locked in kisses until they became one face. the cops would try to pull at this mass, but to no avail'. very 'faggots and their friends between revolutions' stuff.

the chapters which are presented directly as social media posts and articles are also sharply observed. i think a lot of fiction in which the internet features heavily suffers from not understanding the internet very well (Hosoda's Belle for example), but for example the chapter 'Curious Cat' where an anonymous person (blatantly Vanya) is sending messages asking for help with a parasite, and getting rebuffed or misunderstood, and the chapter where Frankie relates a murder of an instagram model by a stalker who posts about it to a reddit community devoted to her, read as very real.

a lot of the story is about responding to a terrifying political situation in sexual terms - a flashback chapter depicting Frankie having sex with some terf's pretentious brother ("with each thrust from him, she thought to herself, I am a traitor, I am a traitor to the cause"), or the preface which jokes about how in another world the author would be writing 'cool horror stories about vampires raping werewolves, ones with no subtext at all'. I prevaricate a little on whether this is a compelling examination of a theme that I do find interesting (the mysterious origins of sexual desire) or just edgy for its own sake.

this is an odd novel for me in some ways because while on one level, this is about people who I could very easily be a single degree of separation from were they real, it's also about a facet of life that is still quite alien to me and in many ways I only know about second hand. I've never been to a kink club (that wasn't in an MMO anyway lol), I'm way too much of a nerdy autist shut-in to know what it's like to be someone who would feel put out if she hadn't had sex in a week. so even before the parasite stuff, it's hard to know how much of Frankie and Vanya's stuff is real, and how much is fantasy. is this really how things go between people? it sounds kinda fun, but unlocking the door this far has already taken years.

when I've read books about the crazy lives that American trans girls supposedly live and interesting sex they're apparently having, they've been at a certain remove, the other side of the Atlantic. and this book feels sort of similar, even though I know it's set right on my doorstep. idk, I've never been good at this.

anyway I don't think I want to write fantasy novels so directly about The Discourse of the day, but it's probably good that someone is. that said, it's hard to parse like... ok, it's titled brainwyrms, and 'brain worms' is a common way of describing an obsessive, cultish idea you receive from the internet.

and like if you look at the newspapers, or twitter trans discourse, you certainly could believe that this country is on a rapid slide to putting us in camps. however, my day to day life has been... it's not without hostility, but the average street harasser isn't doing it because of a Guardian or even Mail article. this country has a subculture of deranged weirdos who hate our guts, and a political class who will happily stoke culture war shit to score points, but most normies I've met don't care one way or another that I'm trans - they might mention a family member or friend they know who's also trans. the day to day conflicts are over way more prosaic shit, the landlord vs tenant forever war, or how the kitchen should be cleaned. which of these windows is more informative of the 'overall' state of affairs? not that a more violent terf cult is a bad premise to write a novel around, but a sense of impending doom is a pretty powerful mechanism to keep you scrolling, right?

like in 20, 40 years - will the terfs really be bombing the Tavistock and banning transness, as Rumfitt imagines in her near-future setting preface? or will they go the way of those newspapers in Thatcher's time who smeared the gay movement, just as they smear us today? of passing political obsessions like 'new atheism'? I don't know the half-life of cult shit.

anyway, time to read the rest of the novel, and see how it handles this brew that it's concocted.

[timeskip]

Finished episode 5! Mystery stories are made with love, because the author wants you to solve the riddle. Witches and truth can only be seen with love. Hm! Umineko really is a love story.

[warning: long post.]

HOUGH THAT ENDING WAS SO GOOD. THE TRIAL WAS GREAT AND THEN BATTLER COMING BACK TO LIFE AND FIGHTING... I was wavering a bit near the middle of the episode wondering if it would stick the landing for me but it DID IT

I like Dlanor a lot in how she affects the story (and the concept of a guardfor Knox's decalogue is super compelling) but I was uhhhh uncertain of her at first. I think adding new characters that are so vital is a bit weird this late in the game... but GOD. GOD. THE FIGHT ITSELF. The way she and Battler both agreed to go at each other. It's so good. She justified her existence excellently.

AND. In addition. Erika never understood her. Battler did. Of course she ended up resigning against Battler after teaching him to respect the reasons why mysteries work.

I also find myself wondering if the spoiler I saw before of Battler being Kyrie's child was fake after all. Does a little anime girl "blehhhh"

BUT BECAUSE OF THIS. BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE THE POSSIBILITY OF BATTLER BEING THE CHILD FROM 19 YEARS AGO COMING UNTIL IT WAS CLOSE TO APPEARING... IT HIT REALLY HARD. I LOVE IT

CRAZY. BUT REALLY GOOD.

Battler becoming the game master is fascinating because it's clear he understands Beatrice better than the player. I'd seen people say that Umineko wants you (the player) to solve it, and until the end of episode 5 I didn't see it, since it's a mystery like any other; you SHOULD be able to solve it, but I feel like the mystery of Beatrice is too veiled in obscure hints and unclear moments, especially since the game is about denying she exists. But I mean. lol. Asking us to solve it is right there:

As for what I think about the mystery... I'm not very good at solving these things. I love mysteries, but I'm not very good at "mystery thinking" the way some people are. As far as theories for how the mysteries of episodes 1-4 happened without magic, I'm not really one to go through it all again to try to piece it together when I don't feel like I have enough clues right now.

I'm also afraid I've seen too many vague spoilers to JUST be going off of what the game is about... I. uh. Might know who in the 18 characters is Beatrice, for example. I've avoided thinking about it on purpose, but hey. I'm not certain about it, but when they were comparing mysteries to love (with the obvious meaning of Battler and Beatrice's love) Battler mentioned his first love being with someone else. That first love being Shannon. And it's clear to me that if (keyword: IF) Beatrice is any of the 18, she WILL NOT BE ONE OF BATTLER'S RELATIVES!! So, a servant. If she's not Shannon or Kanon I will be surprised. There is another vague spoiler I've gotten that complicates this, but uhhh yeah. idk. If Battler can be the child from 19 years ago (maybe. This has not TECHNICALLY been confirmed) then Beatrice can be someone completely outside what I think is possible. We shall see.

I would find it weird if they broke up this seemingly beautiful and important love between Shannon/George that helped Shannon feel like a person, so honestly I'm leaning away from Beatrice Definitely Absolutely Being Shannon and more towards her having a weird connection to Shannon that people talk about in a way that confused me when I didn't know the characters very well. Is Battler's "first love" important to his relationship with Beatrice? ....Maybe. Is there more that I don't understand? Definitely.

(Also as a note: Genji = Ronove. Kumasawa = Virgilia. Gohda = ?. Shannon = Beatrice?. Kanon = ???. I don't expect this to be a one to one thing, but considering the first two are so firmly established, I'm keeping it in mind.)

Anyways. Battler committed a sin 6 years prior. Something related to Beatrice, or at least something related to who she used to be. Driving my thoughts away from WHO she is again, and back to the "why": Battler clearly remembered what it was. He lied to Beatrice about something. He understands Beatrice and knows why she constructed the game to have him solve it. We, reading the story, should be able to find the clues for what this sin is, but. well. We haven't been given much info about Battler 6 years ago. I feel like I need to wait for it to circle back around to Battler's backstory before I really make any theories.

Of course, Natsuhi and Erika are the stars of this episode. Natsuhi is a REALLY compelling character, but Erika is truly what made this episode click into place for me. Her hatred and gloating, the vile intentions, how pathetic she is when she loses... Her love for Bernkastel and the way she's being thrown away if she fails... She hates Battler, she has to defeat him, she won't hold back. I have high hopes for episode 6...!!!

Yeah!!! I liked episode 5 a lot!!! Whatever Battler's game looks like, I wonder if it'll help bring Beatrice back from the nonexistence she was pushed into, since they didn't really address that? ^-^

[fernsnailz]

February 2024 Review Roundup

well i sure did watch some stuff and read one book this month

the things i finished this month reminded me that for every incredible piece of art i find myself enjoying, i end up watching some Hot Garbage immediately after to balance things out again. idk why i do this.

i have quite a bit to say about both the things i enjoyed and the things that brought me physical pain this month, so there is um. a lot under the cut. any previous desire for brevity i had in january has been completely thrown out the window as i use these roundups as an outlet to gush about things i like and complain about things i didn't. fair warning, if you open the readmore you will be scrolling for a while. enjoy i guess

House of Leaves

does any other book out there have the balls to write a completely fake interview with stephen king

House of Leaves is a novel you gotta throw around a little bit. It feels really weird that my copy is still in the pristine state I bought it in - It seems like it should have water damage and smell like mildew with its pages falling out and spine cracked into pieces. Getting the full story from this book requires flipping back and forth, turning it around, searching for answers. All things considered it’s not that difficult of a read, but its format still allows you to feel like you’re discovering every hidden piece for yourself, and I really liked that interactivity. I was engaged pretty much the whole way through.

I don’t really think I’ll be able to revisit this book anytime soon though. It’s difficult for me to format what else I’d like to say about it because to be honest, it caught me off guard and disturbed me on a fairly personal level. There’s a relief I feel when I remember that I don’t actually know what was going on with the house - maybe that was intentional on the book’s behalf, maybe I just didn’t look hard enough for answers. I don’t know. But the implication that something divine was down there was enough of an answer for me. The book's good. read it if you want a spooooooky time or if you never want to look at a hallway the same way again

Doctor Who (Series 1-4) (rewatch)

ok so this is a fuckload of doctor who to cover so i’m gonna give some thoughts on a few of the characters and my favorite + least favorite episodes

9th doctor: My favorite butch lesbian. Christopher Eccleston truly embodies the concept of The Doctor so, so well: otherworldly guy who knows too much, genuinely cares about life across the universe, and also has a bit of deep, unresolved rage. His moments of joy and careless fun stick with me the most, he absolutely radiates with life and brings so much to this character.

Rose: I first watched Doctor Who when I was in middle school, and I didn’t like Rose that much back then. And guys. I have bad news. I'm still not really much of a Rose fan

I definitely understood her more this watch through - that desire for adventure and some sort of control over her life, emotions so strong that she’s willing to throw near everything away. That’s just what being 19 is like sometimes. I think Rose is a very compelling character who just happens to frustrate me a bit. And that’s kinda the point, her co-dependent relationship with the Doctor is doomed to fail and it's meant to hurt. Ultimately, I think when I first watched the show I was too young to understand Rose, and now I’m just too old to relate to her.

Captain Jack: Jack is my favorite character. I fucking love this guy. Dude has the worst luck in the whole universe and still cannot be stopped. Legendary. Every episode with him is a goddamn delight because he has so much chemistry with every single cast member. No notes 10/10 i love my problematic bisexual king

10th doctor: About four episodes into David Tennant’s run I realized that he dresses like a Hazbin Hotel character and it made me very sad. Still, there’s a reason this guy inspired every middle schooler to buy a pair of converse in 2008. He has style, he has depth, he’s got the sauce. It’s genuinely terrifying to see his anger, I like that a lot of 10’s run is about his denial of godhood and power over life in the universe, something that the rest of the time lords desired. idk i like my sad pathetic little weasel but he's also a huge fucking asshole sometimes which sucks. especially when it's directed at Martha.

Martha: Martha I am so sorry for what this show put you through. Martha was my favorite companion when I first watched the show, and I still have a huge soft spot for her. Her ability to hold her own and navigate foreign worlds using her own intelligence absolutely rules, and her drive forward is unbreakable. But the show seems to put her down at every possible opportunity, most notably with how 10 treats her. Her struggles and wants are constantly ignored, and she's often treated as a rebound from Rose. And I like that she eventually chooses to end it by not traveling with 10 anymore, but it hurts because it feels like she was never given the same chance or care that Rose and Donna were. This era of Doctor Who really doesn’t treat its black companions well because Mickey goes through something similar - both Martha and Mickey are characters designed to be ignored or left behind, and it sucks.

Donna: Donna Noble is one of the greatest fictional characters to ever exist. Despite seemingly living a fairly average life and working a fairly average job, Donna reflects the idea that no one is truly "average" and every single person is brimming with personality, life, and love. I love that her relationship with 10 is purely platonic, personally their friendship feels like it has a lot more depth than either of the romance-oriented relationships 10 had with Rose and Martha. 10 and Donna bounce off of each other so well and it's delightful, Donna brings so much humor and life to every world she's taken to and it's incredible. I wish her and Captain Jack could have interacted more.

My favorite episode: The Runaway Bride is hard to not choose as my favorite. I have a blast every time I watch this episode and it’s such a good introduction for Donna. Also the Tardis car chase kills me, I love when it cuts to the kids in the back of another car clapping and cheering. I was also surprised by the episode Midnight - it’s dreadful to watch and I kinda loved it. So much spirals out of control when shit hits the fan, even though no one has any idea what they’re trying to fight against. Really interesting exploration as to how fear can drive people apart.

My least favorite episode: It’s Love & Monsters. I wish I liked this episode - stories that follow regular ass people living in this world are often some of the best episodes in the series (Weeping Angels and all that). And this episode definitely has some of that. It’s honestly really touching to see this group of nerds get together and enjoy life in the first part of the episode. I think the antagonist of “guy who absorbs people” ends up dragging down any charm this story had because he just. eats all of the interesting characters. But despite me disliking this episode, I honestly have a deep respect for it - it’s fucking crazy. It ends with the main guy telling us about his sex life with his girlfriend who is now stuck in a piece of concrete. Where else are you going to get a story like this. It fucking sucks and that’s hilarious

oh also the production design: GODDDDDD I FUCKING LOVE THE PRODUCTION DESIGN AND SETS ON THIS SHOW. I love how dirty and rundown a lot of the spaceship sets look with wires and lights scattered everywhere. And a number of alien designs also go CRAZY with the prosthetics - I keep thinking about the Hath from The Doctor’s Daughter and how every head prosthetic had liquid inside it that could bubble. Absolutely crazy. I also love the moments where you can clearly see they did not have that much time and just had to throw something together or pain a bald cap green. Jank is the nature of sci-fi production design and I dearly love and miss that Doctor Who jank.

Rebuild of Evangelion

Last year after finishing the original Evangelion series + End of Evangelion, I remember going through the Evangelion tumblr tag and being very confused by the number of slice of life/found family-esque fanworks of the cast. It left me puzzled and thinking “...did we even watch the same thing??”

APPARENTLY NOT

[spoiler warning here because these movies are very good and i give the best parts away. if you want to watch these movies then DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!]

I honestly never expected a world where these characters got a happy ending. I so, so badly wish I could see 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 in theaters - these movies are stunning. I know I say things “go crazy” a lot, but man. They go fucking CRAZY.

While I have a few issues with how the first two movies adapted the original show, I do think the changes they made better serve the story this rebuild is trying to tell. For example, my favorite episode in the original Eva series is episode 18, where Toji is chosen to pilot Unit 03. It’s absolutely terrifying because Shinji doesn’t know who 03’s pilot is, yet he’s forced to be inside Unit 01 as it tears 03 apart. His resolve not to kill anyone despite not even knowing who’s in danger is an aspect of that episode I love and speaks to Shinji's inherent humanity, and when he learns Toji was in there it hurts even more. The rebuild movies change Unit 03’s pilot to Auska, and Shinji knows she’s in there from the start. I think this choice works for the movies and is still an effective emotional beat, but personally I still prefer the version where Shinji had no idea who was in there. That lack of knowledge is infinitely more terrifying to me.

I really like what these movies did with some of the angel designs though. The sixth angel (the fuckin. blue diamond cube thing) works really well in 3D/CG animation. The way the thing warps and moves is otherly and terrifying - and it’s just a fucking cube. I’ve always really loved how the Eva series approaches angel designs and the divine - despite the alien-like designs, there’s often something extremely familiar about them. They’re often reminiscent of an animal, a machine, or a human. This is also how they approached the anti-universe in these movies, I loved how it takes the form of various locations from the series and turns them into a movie set. It’s deeply familiar, but ultimately just an illusion of familiarity like the angels and the divine.

Also I gotta say. I fucking love Mari. I think she’s hilarious. She first meets Shinji by accidentally parachuting into him and then immediately starts crawling on all fours to sniff him. This girl also introduces “Beast Mode” where the Eva pilots can go wild turn their mechs into a fucking. superpowered beast of some sort. And also she defeats a whole army by using the Eiffel Tower as a spear. She’s such an absurd character and I honestly kinda love it. The only thing I knew about these movies before watching them was this gif of her Backing That Shit Up and she truly lives up to the insane nature of this shot.

My favorite section of these movies is definitely the first part of 3.0+1.0 where the pilots are basically just living a domestic life in a small town - it’s truly beautiful. The growth that Rei’s copy goes through here is fantastic, I love stories about seemingly emotionless beings learning how to live. And right after she dies, we get the shot that absolutely broke me the first time I saw it:

This shit. The way you can just barely tell he’s been crying from the red around his eyes. They don't talk about it, they barely linger on it, but it's allowed just enough time to punch you in the gut. I don’t know why this shot got me as hard as it did but goddamn. jesus christ. i want to throw up

There’s some goofy shit in these movies. The infinite synch rate. Misato’s stupidass hat and sunglasses. Some goofy ass 3D animation that doesn’t age super well. The rainbow that shows up every time an angel dies. But these things really didn’t take me out of the core of these films, and there’s so much genuine emotion and beauty in this series that had me absolutely hooked - especially in the last two films. They go crazy. My favorite line is 100% “The only thing a son can do for his father is pat him on the shoulder… or kill him.” and man. ain’t that what Evangelion is all about. i love these movies

High School Musical 3

kinda slaps just a little bit

High School Musical 3 starts with a finale number. The last high school basketball game of Troy Bolton’s life - and it goes kinda hard. The classic pep band brass that’s essential to so many High School Musical numbers returns, and the constant theme of two feuding cheer teams in the background? Genius. This is truly art. I love listening to Now or Never without visuals because in the middle Troy just starts coughing and gagging seemingly out of nowhere

Unfortunately, starting the movie at such a high point means that the rest of the runtime doesn’t quite match up to it. The story lags and meanders quite a bit, but part of me kinda appreciates that - it’s their last semester of high school, which is always a time of confusion and turmoil. However, I do have a pitch for how they could have countered the constant falling action this movie seems to go through:

The Wildcats should have lost their last game at the beginning of the movie.

What if the game is instead the inciting incident that leads Troy and his besties through their tumultuous last semester? Troy is still torn between basketball and theater, but his identity would be even further challenged here - is winning and success all that matters for him, or is it the love of sport and performance that keeps him going? idk whatever this movie came out 16 years ago i can’t be out here writing AUs for it jgnfsgfnjdksg

Some miscellaneous thoughts about this movie that i don’t care about formatting into larger paragraphs:

Ryan and Sharpay’s number (I Want It All) slaps as usual. The part where Ryan shouts “MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!!!!!” makes me so happy every time i hear it

The production design and sets go absolutely fucking crazy. I still have no idea how they pulled off the spinning hallway in Scream.

One of the classic staples of HSM is Chad’s shirts. Most of them are fairly silly and like something you would expect to find in the walmart clearance section. However, there’s one shirt he has in this movie that confused the hell out of me. It’s this one:

What the FUCK does Greenster mean. Is it just a combination of Green and Monster?? Why??? What green monster are we talking about here????? Where the fuck did this shirt come from?????????

Avatar The Last Airbender (2024)

There’s really only one word I can think of to describe what this show is like: sauceless. No flavor. No depth. No character. No sauce. This show is honestly so fucking boring and seems to fundamentally misunderstand what the appeal of the original Avatar series is - not necessarily because things are changed or removed from the original, but because nothing of substance is added in return. 

Most of the characters are mere echoes of their original counterparts when compared to their source material. Sokka is reduced to a guy who wants to fight good, Katara’s stubborn and confrontational nature is very rarely utilized, and Aang’s mischievous antics and love of fun is sorely missing. One of the major reasons for the dull interpretations seems to be the directing - While I have faith that most of these actors are trying their best (especially since a number of them are kids/young adults), the direction seems to be incredibly lackluster and takes away nearly every cast member’s stage presence or personality. There’s a number of reaction shots of the main trio that just look like this: 😐😐😐 as if they were just told to “look concerned” at the events unfolding before them. And these issues are apparent in the majority of the performances - for example, General Zhao talks like he’s in a board meeting up until the last episode, and it’s an incredibly flat performance. He talks somewhat monotone in the original series as well, but this live-action take on the character often meanders with his dialogue and lacks that sharp, terrifying quality that I think this character needs. Uncle Iroh also feels incredibly stiff in this adaptation, and it’s a goddamn crime that they took away the cunty little outfit and chains he was originally wearing when he gets captured by earthbenders. wait who said that

Credit where credit is due, there’s a few cast members that seem to be giving their best. It’s clear that Aang’s actor enjoys the role and does pretty well despite the lackluster direction and dialogue he’s given. On top of that, I think Zuko’s actor is honestly the best part of the show. His take on Zuko leans much more into teenage tendencies and sarcasm, which, although it can be silly, is a welcome take of the character in my opinion and pretty fun to watch. There’s this one line he has at the beginning of episode 2 where, in an incredibly whiny tone of voice, he goes “He RAN! The ultimate warrior! He’s a Coward :((((“ and the read is so. fucking funny

The case of bad direction isn’t limited to the performances, however. It’s also stunningly apparent in how everything is shot. Despite being in a widescreen format, most shots are incredibly centered - you could crop the entire runtime into a 4:3 frame and you wouldn’t be cutting out much of anything. I’ve seen some speculation that this was an intentional choice to make things more adaptable or readable for TikTok/phone video, but honestly I think that’s a dumb take. I think the issue stems from a lack of creativity and thoughtless composition. Keeping everything staged in the center can make shots feel disjointed, lacking much depth, or completely empty. It’s a boring way to shoot and indicates that the show lacks any unique vision at all.

Overall, this show doesn't really seem to understand what makes Avatar interesting in the first place. It's more interested in spectacle and action than the characters' relationships, emotions, and mistakes. I try not to compare it too much to the original since it's allowed to take liberties with its adaptation, but very few of its changes add much to the end result or give it a unique voice. It's just sauceless and boring.

Some YouTube videos i liked in February:

💥 My House.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod (some supplemental House of Leaves material for ya) 💥 Martha Jones Deserved Better (this video explains how Doctor Who did Martha dirty better than i ever could) 💥 bringing JUSTICE to the worst garfield game 💥 Selling Kids for Clout: The Downfall of Family Channels

And that’s my roundup for February! Thank you for reading, I promise there are no more reviews left to scroll through below this goodbye. Nope, nothing else I watched this month. Bye!

…ok is everyone gone. phew, i’m glad no one noticed i pulled an hbomberguy and hid the largest part of this post under a false ending. Anyway holy shit i need to talk about hazbin hotel

Hazbin Hotel

well i didn’t like it

Hazbin Hotel is a weird, fascinating mess of a show. Every episode left me wondering what creative decisions (or lack thereof) led to the sequence of images I just watched. There’s been a lot of discussion of this show recently and I’m not interested in covering every critique I have, but there’s a few things that I'd like to talk about somewhat in-depth.

Hell is real and it's just Red Chicago

The setting of Hell is kinda boring in this show.

Let me try to put this into perspective. Aside from the hotel, here’s a list of the locations we see in Hell:

A boardroom

A video store

Vox’s evil lair (it has cyber sharks which is kinda cool)

Various streets

Another boardroom

A BDSM club

Carmilla’s house (it’s gray and has. balconies?)

A porn studio

A bar

Another bar

A town square (full of cannibals)

None of these locations really take on any sort of otherworldly form besides some vague demonic imagery scattered throughout (and the cannibals. i guess. whatever). In short, Hazbin Hotel’s setting resembles Chicago more than it does Hell.

I can see a world where that’s intentional. Perhaps making Hell resemble a modern city could be used as a thematic tool or point of relatability? But Hazbin doesn’t really do anything like that - since the characters rarely ever interact with their environments, these locations end up seeming like they lack creativity, like they’re just cardboard sets where characters go to swear. They all start to blend together after a while - every street feels the same, every boardroom fades into the background, and every bar feels like a google image search result for the word “club.” This world feels stunningly empty despite the busy designs and colors. Even though the backgrounds are painted and designed fairly well, nothing of substance is ever really added to them through the story.

However, a few musical numbers take effort to break away from these settings. This felt like a weight off of my shoulders whenever it happened, it was nice to see some interesting setpieces and backgrounds that weren’t red. I liked the bombastic and over-the-top broadway lights in Loser and the glowing alternate world in Charlie and Lucifer’s song. But these moments are few and crowded by the dull locations in Hell - or worse, the Hotel itself.

Despite being the namesake of the show, the actual Hazbin Hotel is… lifeless. Which, yeah, it’s a hotel where dead people go in the afterlife, but it’s missing any sort of personality or history besides “it’s old and falling apart.” I expected the hotel to be full of secrets - like maybe some hidden passages or rooms, or mysterious cabinets full of rotted meats, or old valuables hidden under the rugs by the previous owners. Something for the cast to explore and discover, and as they get closer to each other they also start to understand the hotel more. Alastor seems very intent on keeping the physical hotel standing for some reason, but I never really understood why. There’s nothing there. And that nothingness is fully realized when at the end of the show, they just rebuild the entire hotel to be grand and beautiful - an emotional beat that didn’t hit me at all because I never felt like I knew the hotel in the first place. Despite rebuilding it from the ground up, it will feel just as empty.

3 SHOTS THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY

I was truly baffled at how some of these scenes are timed and put together. Multiple sequences left me feeling nauseous and dazed - the camera moves like it’s being swung on the end of a rope, and there’s so many misplaced or meaningless cuts scattered through these episodes.

There’s a sequence of three shots in the first episode that I want to dissect. I will fully admit that I'm breaching nitpicking territory here, but the shot composition issues in this show are pretty rampant and my analysis here is just a hyper-specific look at a single part of that larger problem. Hopefully you can also use it as a quick storyboarding lesson too idk

First, we see Adam teasing Charlie.

Then, it cuts straight to this shot:

A few things here. 

Shot 2 is just closer on the characters, which is not a great idea to cut to after the previous waist-up shot. On top of being a jarring jump cut, there is no purpose for this new shot. All the information we see here (Adam laughs, Charlie fake laughs) could have just been conveyed in the previous shot.

Despite the characters being in the same position as the last shot, the background changes. This straight up just feels like an error. I think the idea is supposed to be that the camera is at a different angle, but the position of the characters does not convey that. It looks like reality changes behind them.

And if that’s not enough, this is the shot we get immediately after those two:

In this shot, the residents of the hotel sit on the couch as Vaggie walks into the shot, framing them between her legs. But there’s something… off.

Vaggie either looks like she’s floating or she’s three stories tall. Quick storyboard lesson as to why:

The main problem with this shot is that the perspective of the background doesn’t match up with where Vaggie is placed. The couch is framed as if the camera were above it, but Vaggie is framed like the camera is floor-level below her. I’ve traced the shot and added a perspective grid to hopefully better illustrate this:

Do you see what I mean? If the camera WAS actually on the floor like Vaggie’s position in the shot suggests, the composition would look more like this:

Notice how much closer the floor grid is to the bottom of the frame and how you can see the underside of the couch.

And to be fair, this is probably what the original storyboard for this shot looked like! Personally I think something went wrong in the compositing stage - this might be a couch background from another shot that was reused here to save time, or whoever approved this shot just let the error slide since the shot is so short (i've been there. sometimes you let the jank slide). Most animated shows will have some poorly framed shots and continuity errors because mistakes are bound to happen, but two egregious ones right next to each other like this is. pretty bad. It's so noticeable from a directing perspective.

Here’s the thing: these three shots happen in the span of like 10 seconds. Most viewers probably wouldn’t notice these issues, and that's fine. But even though these errors are quick, they stack upon each other so fast that even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what’s wrong, something still feels wrong. There’s so many other moments where the show breaks extremely basic shot composition, continuity, and staging rules - for example, the second musical number of the show breaks the 180 rule like four times for no good reason. The whole show feels like a dizzy, nauseating mess because the shots rarely feel like they form anything cohesive.

MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME TO GO TO BED SO HERE ARE SOME FINAL THOUGHTS

Here’s a rundown on some other thoughts that I don’t care to format into larger sections:

The show seems to lack much to say about sin and redemption other than “redemption good.” like sure, but what are they being redeemed from? Is heaven truly the place they deserve to go after being redeemed, even though it’s shown to be unjust? Are there sins that are too great to be redeemed from, or others that shouldn't be considered sins at all? I asked myself a number of questions like this, but never got many answers from Hazbin.

This show has a bad relationship with kink and sex. Both are mostly used as a punchline or a form of control. I didn’t like it. Perhaps the reason Hazbin never really comments on the nature of sin is because it needs you to consider sex and kink sinful or otherly for these jokes to hit.

Some of the animation is crazy good. I will praise any animator that even attempts to make these character designs move. A number of extremely talented people worked on this show, a few of the musical sequences in particular have some incredible movement.

Alastor is a very boring character. It’s wild that most of the side characters in this show only exist to talk about how much they like or hate Alastor, he mostly just stands to the side of some shots or kills random nameless goons. I expected him to have a much larger role in the story, but he just gets his ass kicked in the final episode and then crawls back to the hotel.

Episode 4 is the most cohesive, and i think Angel is the best character in the show. Unfortunately, the fact that Hazbin takes so much effort to show Angel’s misery left me… concerned? None of the other characters get treated as poorly as Angel by the narrative. There’s a few smaller explorations of trauma, but nothing remotely compares to what Angel is put through on-screen. This isn’t to say that I think the whole cast needs to be extremely traumatized and constantly miserable, but rather that I find it concerning that the only character subjected to incredibly graphic abuse and torture (that we see or hear about) is the gay sex worker. Which sucks, because I think the concept of hypersexuality resulted from sexual abuse is an important topic worthy of discussing in adult media. I just think they tried to execute this theme without much critical thought beforehand.

I think the voice cast does a fantastic job for the most part. Keith David is way too good for Husk.

I really liked the one shot where Charlie opens her phone and we see that she has a contact for every individual egg minion.

I was very brave and got through this whole review without talking about my new least favorite character of all time, Vox. here’s what I think of him:

The overall vision and end result of Hazbin Hotel is just mediocre. While I don’t know what led to the messy state this show ended up in, my guess is that it was probably the result of inadequate direction, sloppy writing, and lacking creative support from the studios involved. Because of this, please understand that I have no desire or intention to put down any individual artists that worked on this show - I hope it's clear that most of my criticisms are directed at the larger vision these artists were given to execute and/or the lack of creative support they received while working on this show.

I also don’t really have much desire to participate in any further Hazbin discussion or discourse because it has wasted enough of my time already and I want to be free of this curse. please spare my inbox from hazbin hotel discourse. please. i'm begging.

You want to know what the most fucked up thing about this is though? Despite everything I said about Hazbin, Avatar the Last Airbender 2024 is still the worst show I watched this month. I would take Hazbin over Avatar 2024 literally any day.

well if you got this far. thanks for reading. also sorry you read all that. whelp alright back into my hole i go bye bye

[radioactive-yuri]

i have a question.., so basically right you are very obviously a lena fan but idk.. i could definitely like her i just feel like we havent seen enough of her to actually understand what her role is or if she is likeable or relatable or whatnot? is there something in the arg that gives evidence to her being someone who should be rooted for? or do you instead like her not because she is good or because she can get better but instead just because you find her compelling?

i just wonder if theres evidence for a reason to find her likable that i missed or just forgot about and am curious to see what makes you a fan of her

/genq not a hater just very neutral on her and surprised so many people say she "just needs a nap" or humanize her past what we've already seen and want to understand from the perspective of someone who is a fan

i honestly think we've actually been given a lot to work with when it comes to lena; sure, not as much as the other characters, but what is there compels me. a lot.

first of all, i really like how obviously different she is from jonah. especially with the whole "inviting the horrors in" vs. "keeping the horrors out" thing. there's something really fascinating about the fact that she (seems to) care about her employees like that.

i think my deeper interest in her started when i relistened to the first episode. i honestly thought the way she acted was kind of funny. that kind of perfectly deadpan, aloof, boring characters have always caught my attention to some degree.

all the jokes and headcanons about her being tired are more about just all the shit she has to deal with on a daily basis. i'm also really fascinated by her past, so much is implied just with how she treats the horrors she deals with as a job.

[mapoeggplant]

Man, I am happy that shima is making progress but… the whole situation makes me nervous. There is this, idk how to explain it, menacing undertone through the whole chapter. He is finally acting on his wants, but making a lot of rush decisions largely based on jealousy and loneliness (the fact that we see again how people keep his distance from him. The class politics bit was funny but also kinda sad). The Frankenstein's monster kills people as an act of vengence, but essentially it's a desperate cry for love and attention born out of jealousy, abandonment and hurt. Something Shima relates to a lot. The thing is, while jealousy motivated him before in a positive way (joining the club, confronting ririka), it is not healthy when it's your main compelling force. Of course Shima isn't really doing anything wrong (or i guess it depends whether people agree with Yasaka's perspective) and he wants to hang out with Mitsumi because he enjoys her presence. But there is a lot of other very complicated feelings bubbling in Shima and he is still unable to communicate with her properly. I can't help but wonder what if it ends up hurting her again? And what if this time she really gets angry? We've seen them "fight" before - once when they didn't know each other that well and the second time when shima didn't stand up for her and she ended up kinda swallowing her own feelings. The thing is, Mitsumi is lovely, considerate and forgiving person, and she loves Shima, but she is only a human. In a way, getting angry and allowing herself that feeling would be an interesting development for her too. As for Shima if he were to hurt Mitsumi again, who would stand on his side? Not the girls, Mukai probably wouldn't be too happy with him either. In that scenario - wouldn't Shima prove to himself that he is a monster doomed for life of loneliness? Well, not really, because conflicts are part of any close relationship and I think Shima has to learn that. He is no Frankenstein's monster, just 16. I find it interesting that he will perform the play twice.. perhaps with a different interpretation each time?

That was a whole lot of speculation and watch me be completely wrong and their Kyoto date being the fluffiest and sweetest chapter lol. Also, so sorry for writing a whole as essay, i surprised myself there 😭 

hi! first, please don't be sorry, it's completely ok for you to send a big question to me like this!!

I totally understand and see your point. it is very difficult for shima to be dealing with feelings as heavy as these and to see himself as a monster. it's not healthy and it's not the best feeling in the world, and feeling jealous is always something that hurts a lot.

but I also want to give you a new perspective on this: he's finally acting on his own, be it for acting itself and for trying to express his feelings to mitsumi. he, for the first time, didn't kept it to himself and just stayed in the corner, sad and resentful. he acted a little spoiled and needy? yes, but it's not a terrible thing to act like that once in a while.

now I want to hit a point that you said and I understand where you're coming from: shima hurting mitsumi again. I'm not going to lie, ofc this stays in the back of my mind and I do think about this a lot, not only for the Kyoto trip, but their whole relationship. it's sad to see him not being able to understand his own feelings and acting out on impulse and risking loosing mitsumi but, if it ever comes to a point that he does hurt mitsumi and make her cry, shouldn't we hold him accountable for that?

listen, I'm a shima defender till I die. I'm on this boat for two years (and a half??????? I'm bad with dates, sorry LMFAO) now and I won't back down but if he eventually does something wrong, why would I stay by his side and deny he ever did something wrong? to love a character is to accept that they can fuck up and pick it back again. I won't ever put him in a standard of being perfect and not able to hurt mitsumi at all, but I won't also put him on fire because he made a mistake. he's a teenager. he's traumatized. he's carrying a pain that has been with him longer than his life without certain pain. ofc he will make mistakes and ofc he will fuck it up and...that's completely ok. that's fine. that's life.

I know he's fictional and that his actions are created by a person. he isn't real so like, there IS someone controlling him but for the whole narrative of skip to loafer, we saw characters that were very human, that made mistakes and stood back up, that got hurt, that have complex feelings. so I trust sensei to give me a character that can do something wrong, acknowledge that and fix it. my problem would be if she decides that shima can't do anything wrong anymore or make him commit a lot of mistakes and never realize them (which he never did. he knows were he was wrong, even on the situation between the other girls that left mitsumi sad. he knows he was wrong).

also, shima isn't a monster. him finding solace and seeing himself on frankenstein doesn't mean that he's going to act exactly like the monster himself. actually, in the chapter, he sees the monster's mistakes and reflect on them. he also sees the scientist mistakes. sometimes we find comfort in morally gray characters and that doesn't make us a bad person — what it does is how we act upon that and how we behave accordingly with it.

so, what I want to say with all this: shima is slowly finding his place on earth and trying to make his feelings fall into place. that means he won't ever make a mistake again? no, never. who knows, maybe he can fuck it up on the Kyoto trip and we, as readers and as people who love him, need to call him out. and honestly, I would be very glad if mitsumi was the one to call him out and say "listen, you are hurting me. I'm not going to put up with this". she's sweet, kind and open minded, but she can also stand up for herself, like she did other times as well.

shima is one of the most important characters for me in a whole while. I see myself a lot on his journey to self discovery and just love him and the way he's written, overall. as a writer, he's even my style of character, the type I love to write. so yeah, I will still be making analysis on him, will still defend him with my eyes closed and will still love him. but I will also recognize his mistakes, expose them and try to understand why he did it (all ofc analyzing him as a character, we need to remind us of that!! he's a character and the characters around him, mitsumi included, don't know about his traumas at all).

I hope I didn't sound rude in any way, because that's not what I meant to. I just wanted to be very frank and open with you, because I understand your frustrations and I see what you mean. honestly, it's hard to say "this and that is going to happen" right now, since we're in a very "open" part of the story, starting a new arc that's far from its climax. I hope you understood what I meant and that you can find some sort of comfort on my words.

well, i hope you feel comfortable enough to keep making questions and having a discussion with me!! reflecting on this was very fun and I loved it a lot. hope it was good for you too!

thank you 💛💛

[transfemmbeatrice]

hello! I loved reading your interpretation of much ado's beatrice... I think it makes a lot of sense. on another note, as someone who enjoys shakespeare, do you have any adjacent media like literature classics to recommend? I need to find a classic work of fiction to analyze I think... no pressure though, answer if you want.

i have been giving this ask some thought and i have a number of answers for you! though i don't know if they're exactly what you're looking for, it's what came to mind.

Les Mis. my favorite book of all time!! there is SO much there to chew on, Victor Hugo is an incredible (if incredibly unsubtle) writer. the unabridged version takes some real work to get through, but it's worth it imo. even a good abridged version is still really excellent! i have some opinions on english translations you're free to inquire about if you're interested. whatever you do, don't read Denny. and the brick also still has a great, active fanbase on tumblr!

2. Twelfth Night (2017) dir. Simon Godwin. idk if you're already a twelfth night fan, but this production puts a little twist on it in a way that i am still thinking about years later. it works best if you're already familiar with the play so you can understand how its being subverted; if you're interested, hmu and i can hook you up with any number of productions to watch (which is true of any shakespeare, really. i collect them.)

3. The Imperial Radch trilogy by Ann Leckie. not classic lit, but the best contemporary scifi i've read. leckie is an incredible writer; there is nothing she's done i haven't loved and i would recommend all of her work, but this trilogy is my favorite. (if you want to try a sample of her writing, she released a short story collection this year called Lake of Souls.) the radch trilogy deals with empire and resistance and colonialism and language and gender and bodies and technology and identity and personhood and so much more!! they're one of my favorite books of all time.

4. other well-written scifi that really gets into it and has given me a lot to think about: the unraveling by ben rosenbaum (which does such a good job, imo, of feeling really alien) and a memory called empire by arkady martine (which has a great sequel as well).

5. crush by richard siken. not to be a cliche, but his poetry is fucking amazing. reading crush was the first time i understood poetry. i went my entire school career never clicking with it--i was a prose girlie and it felt like my brain just shut off every time i tried to engage with poetry, but crush fucking rewired my brain and i've read it so many times. if you haven't checked it out, i can't recommend it highly enough; the language and themes are so intricate and well done and it feels like a coherent whole in a really compelling way.

6. the count of monte cristo by alexandre dumas. it's been over a decade since i read it, but i know i loved it and so do many other people so i trust my own past assessment. i remember drawing a character map about how everyone was connected because it was so complicated (i may still have that somewhere, actually) and it certainly has some strong similarities to les mis but is focused on being a revenge story. i watched V for Vendetta recently and it comes up in that movie a bit and it made me really miss it.

7. Be Good and Rewatch It: Pride and Prejudice. Waypoint (rest in peace<3) did some media rewatch podcasts on this feed, and the star of the show is their series on the 95 BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. altogether, their podcasting is more than twice the length of the show itself, but it is so incredibly worth listening to all of it. the adaptation adheres pretty closely to the book so a lot of what they get into relates to the original work as well. there is some fantastic insightful analysis like the difference between english and french relationships with nature and how its reflected in their gardening trends and what it says about lady catherine that her estate is done in the french style--and also there's darcy/peter b. parker fanfiction. extremely well done and also very, very funny, i cannot recommend this more highly!

8. In a similar vein, Shelved By Genre is an excellent podcast if you like sinking your teeth into literary analysis! they focus on genre literature, and have done Book of the New Sun, the Earthsea books, works by Junji Ito, a series by Mercedes Lackey, and I think next are doing Neuromancer? I'm very behind, but they do really excellent work. it's a touch more serious than the last one i mentioned, but it's still a LOT of fun. all three come from academia and i always feel like i'm learning so much when i listen to them.

9. Heart Berries by Terese Marie Mailhot. it's a shortish memoir that i really enjoyed, and there was an interview at the end that i can't stop thinking about because of how she talked about her craft and her story's place in a larger context. i recommend at least reading the interview (which i posted here). i'll also throw Alan Davies' memoir "Just Ignore Him" in here, because i loved it so much and also have a lot of thoughts about how it is written and structured which that interview made me think about again. i'm very biased on this one because i'm a huge fan of his, but i think it's still pretty good if you're not familiar with him. it should be noted that both these books deal with some dark stuff, so feel free to reach out to me for content warnings if you like. alan's audiobook is excellent; heart berries' audiobook is horrendous.

10. this list could not be complete unless i recommended Friends at the Table, an actual play podcast focused on critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends. genuinely the work they do is some of the best stories i have ever encountered, in my entire life, in any medium. there's a shit ton of it and i'm always happy to give recommendations on where to start, whether you're ready to dive in totally or just try a sample. i could never even begin to put into words how good this show is or how much it means to me. it makes me laugh, it makes me cry, it makes me laugh until i cry, it haunts me (positive), it has led me to meeting so many cool people and introduced me to lots of other great and compelling media and philosophy and political ideology. and that's not even getting into my fascination with how game mechanics shape a story, and the sheer joy of things coming together based on chance rather than convenience--it's such an interesting way to tell a story! i'll shut up now but as i will continue to say up to and including when i'm on my deathbed--please listen to friends at the table.

[nnightskiess]

You deserve my support and much more! Lacklustre updating schedule or not, everytime you leave is a very.. compelling and deeply emotional piece of art. I say deeply emotional because when I read it, I feel every emotion that’s written in a very raw and deep way, as if I was actually living it, and so, to be able to even read it and have access to more chapters, is a really big privilege for me.

I think by showing us the present first and then going back to how it all began and showing how y/n and Yen developed their deep bond is pretty amazing, it makes it hurt yes 😂 but also makes it feel real and more intimate bc now we know how truly intricate and deep their feelings are for each other and how much weight their past together has on the events that are occurring in the present and will happen in the future.

I can also tell you love writing for it, idk how to explain it really, but you can see it’s written with passion and love and that every little detail matters. So actually, thank you for creating such an amazing story and I will always look forward to any chapters you put out! 🖤💛 I’m glad my little ask made you feel happy also 😊

(I agree abt Henry… the Witcher is just not the same without him. I have considered replaying the games just so I can maybeeee forget that Henry is not in the show anymore and hopefully ease into Liam a bit better 😂)

oh wow, love, i'm incredibly touched that you feel that way about it!! and that you consider it a piece of art. it's hard to try and see it from your perspective sometimes when i'm so deeply involved with it from a writer's point of view and can't read the chapters with a fresh mind, so hearing you say that actually filled me with joy and motivation.

and thank you so much for saying that! it means i accomplished what i intended to do. i always prefer to write with a heavy layer of emotion clouding my characters. emotions drive us, fuel our fears and define our actions. whether they're morally grey or relatable, it will help reach a level of understanding and hopefully help connect with the story. having to watch the characters battle both inwardly and outwardly before getting whatever their heart desires is just so much more satisfying.

going back to the past felt like a bit of a gamble at first. i was afraid i would confuse or lose some readers who probably desperately wanted to read what would happen at sodden instead, but now that i'm in the middle of writing those early days with yennefer, i realise it was the best decision i could have made. it will explain why they held off on their feelings and so much more. there are many subtle ways i can show their bond slowly forming, or how and why certain beliefs and insecurities will keep resurfacing simply because they were so intricately woven within them. by writing their story from the beginning, i feel like i've started to understand it even better. i don't think i could've properly taken the story forward the same way if i hadn't made that decision.

oh, i absolutely adore writing it. it slithered into my mind years ago during christmas break and it hasn't left me since. i never write anything just for the clicks or interactions, but especially not this one. i just had to write it all down, whether i would later on post it or not. i have notes upon notes everywhere and whenever an idea pops up while i read the books or play the game, i scribble it down. i still don't know how i can find clarity in the chaos (no pun intended). you can always come and talk to me about the story in my dms or asks, please don't hold back. i'd love to hear your thoughts and see if you've caught certain easter eggs, double meanings, symbolisms or foreshadowings (the flower on tissaia's desk is a nod to the bond she'll have with yen and y/n, for example). and as a writer, it's always interesting to see how certain things have landed with readers!

i feel like to a lot of people, me included, henry felt like the essence of the series, the glue holding it together. i get why people are frustrated he's no longer in it, and that the adaption has been absolute shit as well, but i honestly love the world of the witcher too much to not cling to every new bit of media they give us (and i really want to support the other actors). my story is a mix of the series and the book and will at one point stop following canon, since yen doesn't have her arc with geralt or ciri in this. i write yennefer with all of the different versions we've seen of her in mind, so i hope she doesn't feel too ooc for people who've only watched the series, played the game or read the book. but since this story doesn't exist in canon, we also don't have anything to compare her possible actions and reactions to with the things that will happen in everytime you leave, so i think i'll be fine 😊

take care, love! your support means the world to me and i count myself very lucky that you're one of my few readers 🖤

[wellofdean]

So, I read the response above which is so interesting, and I want to keep thinking about it, and then after that had these interesting tags in my feed from @bloodyentrails...

#i think that sam being compassionate towards certain people is kinda normal we tend to relate on a personal level#and him being queer-coded etc doesn't mean you have to care about him#just that that is a thing?#idk what kind of discourse i'm wandering into a lot of the time but relating to characters#and understanding they have been written in a certain way isn't the same thing#which is to say that i would love it if the writing had tackled that inconsistency#but i find that the show on the whole is inconsistent#and i think it's hard to maintain consistency over so many years with so many people working on it#i do think both of them are *trying* to be good people and they sometimes fail and also what constitutes a good person is kinda open#anyway#bear in mind i'm still only halfway through so#maybe i'll change my mind on all this#spn

It's a point worth considering that in the world of the show, Sam's sympathy for monsters seems principled and some how defies gravity, but that in the real world it wouldn't translate to anything real; that's likely true, and an interesting point. Having said that, I think Sam is pretty clearly not particularly"real world" compassionate, and I don't need monsters to make the argument that Sam is not the compassionate one because he shows a general lack of empathy towards PEOPLE, including but by no means limited to Dean, throughout the show. And, ok, he sometimes argues for a compassionate response to monsters and Dean doesn't always respond favourably, but that's because Sam fears he is one, and he needs to believe monsters are not all bad, which is not borne out of compassion, it's a rationalization that serves his psychological needs.

Basically, I think Sam is all surface. Sam is the urbane one, the smart one, the compassionate one, the one who talks nice to people, the broadly queer-coded one, the feminist, etc., but with Sam, all that is skin deep. He APPEARS as such! He's good at pretending, but he's nearly as savage as John is, Dean is much more sensitive to other people's needs, Dean is every bit as clever as he is, and intuitive to boot, Sam can ACT compassionate, but in fact he isn't really very empathetic to anyone, and he is able to just move on from all the things Dean just can't, Sam's not in fact queer, but Dean is queered to his fucking bones, and Sam's the one whose unconsciously replicated misogyny allows him to think any woman that would be into Dean is obviously a whore, and to keep his girlfriend in the dark about the truth of his life, while Dean is just talking a big game of cartoon misogyny TO SAM while treating the women he interacts with pretty fucking respectfully, actually.

Honestly, it's the same as the way Sam is supposedly the 'main character'. He's introduced as the one we should care about and identify with, but within, like, two episodes, he's really just a foil for Dean. Sam has BIG PLOTS, but it's Dean's feelings, reactions and relationships we really care about.

And, the fact is, Sam was pretty well-realized in the earlier eps. JarPad was giving it some effort, and he was charming then with his boyishness -- the way he seemed like he hadn't fully lived into his physical real estate -- but the thing is, he never could really hold a candle to Dean who was just magnetic. All the interesting character development was given to Dean and Jensen killed it by always making it seem like Dean had so much going on under the surface, and like, to the extent I care about Sam, it's because Dean loves him.

I kind of wonder what happened. Was Dean always meant to be the dark horse hero? Or was Dean just...played by a better, more compelling actor, and they started writing for him instead? There are so many much more interesting things they could have done with Sam, and they just...DIDN'T.

I dunno, I suppose it could just be me, but I feel like the way Sam just SEEMS, Dean IS.

maybe this is me being a dumb overly literal autist stemlord who simply does not understand literary theory or some shit equivalent but why should i care about someone being coded as [X] when i can just. care about someone who is [X]. why should i care more about the conventionally attractive white woman with a job and mortgage because she's metaphorically othered due to being a supernatural creature when i could care about the actually othered addicts that she used as a source of food. help me out here.

[the-minster]

Tim Drake stans up in arms to defend him because of my post saying that I dislike it when people woobify Tim to the point of spitting on Jason. I realized later I didn’t specify that the post was about the fandom’s representation of the Titans Tower fight between Jason and Tim, ut it’S still fairly obvious from context.

I hate that I have to repeat it but: Jason never tried to kill Tim, never intended to, Jason was 18 at the time and Tim was 16. The only run in which Jason is a mass murderer is from a decade ago by Morrison who had the agenda to push Jason from an anti-hero into a pure villain character. It was an experiment and it didn’t go well. It’s not so much a part of Jason’s canon character as a weird thing we don’t talk about. Something like pink kryptonite or the people that Batman actually totally did kill, but it was just slightly off-camera. So no, Jason is also not a crazy mass-murderer, he does murder, but not randomly or just for the heck of it.

Also @ all Tim stans, idk man, I prefer my Tim to not be rendered completely helpless and empty because of his traumas, but to understand him as a conflicted character with his own agency. I am completely in support of writing fics and reading fics with helpless characters at times to satisfy one’s own craving to be saved from a situation you are powerless in, that’s just fanon indulgence and 100% cool my dudes, what I take issue with is when this happens at the expense of only extending understanding and the privilege of being saved to victims who are deemed agreable, such as Tim, while condemning victims who are unagreeable, such as Jason.

However it is also more compelling to me to see Tim as a smart and constantly trying character. I think in canon he is highly self-reliant and has purposefully built a support system of friends around him to not have the same flaw as Batman to end up alone and dependent. I personally prefer stories of Tim attempting to save himself from whatever the situation is and seeing him using methods that should have worked and seeing it not being enough, because I can relate to that more than having given up in an abusive situation, BUT! I deeply understand that my experiences with abuse are not universal. When I was stuck with my abusive father I kept trying to negotiate or find a way to move out and nothing would ever work and I’m more familiar with needing a Deus Ex Machina sviour because everything I did wasn’t enough to save me, than needing a savior because I cannot ask for the help I need. Sometimes speaking up is more dangerous than trying to endure, sometimes speaking up is terrifying, sometimes you are not aware that your situation went across the tipping point and should be understood as abuse. Fans that relate to Tim for any of those reasons or others have my full compassion to indulge in Tim whump however much they want to, God knows I have too. The only thing I take issue with is the demonization of Jason in the Titans Tower incident and the misrepresentation of canon without disclaiming it as headcanon/fanon just to elevate Tim’s victim status. 

Because that is preferential treatment of one type of victim over the other. And that is what is so hurtful to me, personally. 

[notwarriorswiki]

Will StarClan be changed in anyway? Also did any other books go differently? Such as Leopardstar's honor or the Forbidded Spottedleaf's Heart?; or did even some cats change besides the ones you already have mentioned? Is not everyone related to Firestar. (Also your art is amzing, I loaf in so much). Ahhh more questions? Will names be changed; IF Twigbranch is made a warrior in any of the Clans will her name be changed or stay the same. Twigbranch is one of my faves so...

I just want to say how much I’ve missed writing for you guys, answering questions, and just fleshing out the Warriors world. What an amazing fandom it is, and I just appreciate everyone who interacts with and supports me so sincerely much. Thank you! <3

StarClan change - there’s a higher power above StarClan, like one single all knowing being. StarClan is just a bunch of dead cats and they interact with the living here and there as needed to pass on the higher power’s foreseeable word. This higher being, known as Chi (a very large chimera cat) is concerned though as the barrier between living and dead is wavering. These cats are leaving physical marks and can harm the living, something Chi doesn’t want. This is the catalyst for Power of Twelve, Chi granting powers to the mortal 12 in hopes they can find the way to sever the connection and push both StarClan and The Dark Forest away.

This is very hard for the 12 to learn as time goes on. They realize what they must do, but they’re all young and have grown up with StarClan being the brightest of lights and the most trustworthy. However, upon having their faith shaken and realizing not all of StarClan is alright with what they’re attempting to do, the 12 understand light and darkness are two sides that must exist in equal parts. To dispel the Dark Forest, they must also dispel StarClan.

Books that went Differently - Spottedleaf’s Heart was extensively changed. Thistleclaw doesn’t even attempt a relationship, he just tries to manipulate her to give him favor with Sunstar so that he might become deputy and then leader. It’s kinda like a Hawkfrost/Mothwing situation where ambitious warrior bullies medicine cat to fake signs and get what they want.

As for Leopardstar’s Honor, I’d remove her having romantically loved Frogleap and Tigerstar. Idk, she always read as ace/aro if anything - just very much thinking about RiverClan and making them the best. It just feels very unnecessary for her story, especially when I find it far more compelling the way she adopts Whiteclaw and tends to him after the death of his parents. Her being this single mother who cares for him like her father and the clan did for her I think is far more poetic than her little romantic bursts, but that’s just me.

Finally I think I would’ve either made it clearer her disdain for half-clan cats that she’d kill some of her closest friends, OR lean into it being the ThunderClan problem because Leopardstar was endlessly bothered by ThunderClan. I mean losing her best friend, losing Whiteclaw, Oakheart, Sunningrocks quarrels, Silverstream, and then Tigerstar whispering in her ear and the usurping, and now she learns about two of her close friends Mistyfoot and Stonefur?? Like pick a narrative and I guess sell that a bit more because it feels like there’s something there and they have the pieces but they’re not really tying it into that bow that I’d personally like to see.

I guess those are more writing critiques than event changes, but geez I’d also sell Leopardstar’s actual honor and redeem her better than whatever book did. Oh yeah, what if they acknowledged her diabetes?

Name changes do happen! Sparkpelt is now Sparkfire and Twigbranch is now Twigshade. I chose Twigshade so then she matches with her sister Violetshine.

[autistic-puffin]

THANK YOU it is consuming my entire brain

amazing i cannot wait to see them

i did in fact find it thank you sadlkfjasklfasadfas

i feel like i have probably not had a single thought about this show that has not already been articulated better by someone else, but i will still say some of my thoughts

things i keep coming back to: jack/anne/max, the DECISIONS AND CHOICES, the inevitability related to all of them, and monstrousness

jack/anne/max: this is huge to me on multiple levels, partially because as individuals i adore all of them and they're all so ALIVE and compelling and complex and nuanced and like all of their outward presentations (of gender and of other things) and their ways of communicating and fighting and not fighting and all of the above are just so so so good and delicious and they fit together so fascinatingly and i love it. and also as a queer man in a long-term QPR with a woman, idk i felt so, seen? i loved how undefined jack and anne were beyond "partners" and i also love that max's importance to anne isn't diminished by jack's importance to her and how they all respect each other's significance to one another by the end. having encountered so many people that do not understand our relationship and want to make sense of it in terms of either romantic or platonic etc, seeing a relationship more similar to my own than possibly any other i've seen, a relationship that wasn't questioned or even properly defined or picked apart, it just IS and is given enormous weight in the story,,,, that is so much to me. and also all of them are very sexy and fun and that's cool too.

DECISIONS AND CHOICES: i mentioned this above but i am so so so so so so obsessed with allllll of the tought and challenging decisions and choices made in this show by the characters. and how much all of them MADE SENSE. even if you wouldn't have made that choice (though as flint says at the end of season 4, he doesn't honestly know what he would've done had he been in silver's position), you can completely understand WHY the character is doing what they're doing, even as you're going BESTIE PLEASE STOP. the characterizations are so well-established and developed over time throughout the show and it is just HHHHHHH *chef's kiss*. and they keep getting thrown into these awful dilemmas and debates and having to make awful choices. and i love it. i think this show does a really really good job of holding all of the moral ambiguity at once. and i think that freedom to not "justify" horrible actions really allows for so much INTERESTING storytelling as we explore the reasons behind all of these different actions.

inevitability: this is very much related to choices and the tragedy of knowing these characters will always make these decisions. eleanor will always choose nassau over max in that moment. flint cannot stop fighting his war. silver cannot lose madi. there is no other way for it to go forward because these characters will always make these decisions. and many of them are even aware of this!!!! the other inevitability is knowing the historical reality of this period and region. and knowing that no matter how hard they try, they will not win this war. the conclusion is already known and so we know all of this struggling will be to some extent in vain. and it is SOOOOOOO. so. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

monstrousness: i am a simple queer and trans person, i enjoy my fictional explorations of monstrousness as much as the next queer and trans person. when i read Susan Stryker's "My Words to Victor Frankenstein above the Village of Chamounix" 6-ish years ago it rearranged my brain forever. as expected, the discussions of monsters in this show were very YES THAT YES to me. both in being assigned monsters in order to fit the narrative of civilization and in deciding to become the monster. i think for me, watching this show in 2024, it was hitting on the whole "the more things change, the more they stay the same" thing. on how i as a trans person with my horomones and my surgery am one of the monsters that needs to be eradicated, how my queer relationship is hated by my partner's family, how all of my trans siblings are either demonized or infantilized and how we're targeted and fetishized and accused of being monsters. and to some extent this has always been a thing, we all know this. but in this particular moment in time, watching this show about this group of people deemed as too other and monstrous to be allowed into "polite society" and hearing about how these monsters are necessary to maintain the fiction that this oppressive empire is necessary,,,,,,idk i guess it just hits pretty hard.

show of all time and all that etc. also flint looks SO good covered in blood that i am like. mildly concerned for myself.

@autistic-puffin

WELCOME TO THE OTHER SIDE OF BLACK SAILS

it's so funny because literally yesterday i liked a whoooole bunch of black sails posts i'm about to queue up!

alas, my blog is in disuse, i ended up not posting as much as i would have if i just used this one, so i've started going back to here -- this was back when i was trying to wrangle my way out of being a multifandom space (lol can u imagine). BUT like i said... mre black sails being queued on this blog as we speak!

[rangedreign]

ohhh my favourite part of ask games, (harmless) petty fandom drama. i know these are a lot so ofc feel free to pick and choose but im nosy and love gossip so if you feel like it *eyes emoji*:

1 2 (just for the drama lol) 6 (feel free to ignore i understand u completely but i live for drama lol) 7 (MORE) 8 12 (<3) 16 (*eyes emoji*) 21 22 (for some final positivity)

1 - the character everyone gets wrong cedric the sorcerer. he deserves respect as a person, and the royal family was wrong to deny him that, but he does little to earn respect as royal sorcerer. 'oh he has such a good and relatable arc' whup tee doo his grand finale was... *checks notes* doing his job correctly. the one he's been training for his whole life. color me unimpressed by a character that should have either left that job YEARS ago or put a little effort into anticipating what he'd be asked to do and practicing instead of trying to prove his worth through stunts and domination.

2 - a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom can't do it lol, everyone's a verse in my mind

6 - which ship fans are the most annoying? shoutout to the time i went through the snape/lily tag and couldn't scroll 3 posts without a james/lily shipper trying to pull moral rank. however i think 75% of the hp fandom has ship rabies.

7 - what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? eh, none, i don't let fandom influence my interpretations of characters that way. cedric is closest but the fandom misinterpretation is just an additional annoyance, rather than a driving force

8 - common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about 'cedric and sofia have a good relationship'. shipping or not, they're completely one-sided. what does cedric provide sofia with? he doesn't even listen to her particularly well.

12 - the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them to no one's surprise, my first pick here is wormwood from sofia the first. he was created as a joke, ha ha the pet is smarter than the human master, but then the show makes you judge him by human moral standards as the foil to cedric's 'deserving of second chances'. the show itself asks you to view a character that cannot leave servitude as human, and wants you to believe that his station is right. it's so deeply unfair. i care him. i respect him. i want to see him take the power of humanity for himself, abuse it, naturally, because that's all humans have ever done to him, then grow into a complete person when he realizes he cares despite it all. knowing that, i feel like mentioning areelu should come as no surprise. doing great evil in response to evil that was done to you? that's so up my alley. up my pussy even. making her bond with daeran of all people is such a great idea, someone who cannot forgive her, but must move on and work with her regardless. it seems like most people write her off as too evil to live, but she's still a super genius. there's a lot to be gained by befriending her. the gold dragon ""redemption"" happens so absurdly fast though. 'oh shit guess this is pretty fucked up, so glad you're a piss-colored lizard bc that's the only way i'd ever listen to you' wrath's writing in general has a bit of a quantity over quality issue. a lacking-logic issue. no way my azata would sacrifice herself just cuz without knowing what areelu will do once she's gone.

16 - you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) - hero-type main characters in general. idk exactly what it is but i find most of them very dull, and often irritating. a lack of desires beyond duty? can't often be described as freaks? they just never have any footholds for interesting ideas to me. - gold aasimar cum. if you want something golden to come out of daeran's dick, you can just make him piss XD also does that imply his hair is naturally white? - daeran x chill/lawful/'boring' kcs - i can tell that on some level he wants the stability from people like that, but i can't see him actually bonding with them. esp not towards the start of the game. - truly, utterly pathetic meow meows. like, listen, i love shoving a character into a Situation and watching them flounder around, but they've gotta be proficient at something!

21 - part of canon you think is overhyped for just about everything: the worldbuilding. i think people get impressed by the mere existence of worldbuilding, rather than the quality of it. pf surprised me when i looked deeper into stuff and found it gave me the same 'this is a hot mess and i have to make shit up for it to make sense' feeling as stf. i expected better from a massive ttrpg but ok. for wrath, also the characters and the music. the characters rely on one-note personalities with maybe a ~hint~ of spice, with one extremely notable exception of daeran. the degree to which he beats out every other character in complexity is stunning, really. the music is... just fine? it's not amazing, it does exactly what you'd expect a track for that purpose to do. I think most of the tracks have muddy orchestration, too much focus on harmony/vibes and not enough on rhythm and melody. the one track i really love is 'a drink before the battle', it has a great flow and dynamics and i wish it played more often.

22 - your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores the villains/antagonists, best part of literally any media ever

[sheepstiel]

Hey, so this is a thing related to the people yelling at you for how you choose to label your relationship. If you are FUCKING DONE with that shit, carry on. :) For the record I am not mad, I just get that sometimes you wish a topic would die. Which is why I felt compelled to say something to you, but chose to do it on an ask instead of reblogging and waking up a post you might want to quiet down.

I am a bi woman in a relationship with a man and I absolutely would call it a “straight relationship” if hard pressed to label it. I don’t think you did anything wrong and the person yelling at you really needs to find something else to yell about.

I truly do believe in the power and agency of language, but I guess I would just so much rather be concerned with whether or not you are happy in a relationship than if who ever you are talking about it with got everyone’s labels absolutely 100% correct. A label is just that— something to call a thing by. It doesn’t tell the whole story, and it doesn’t necessarily need to. I’ve also never said to anyone “hey I’m in a straight/gay/queer relationship” because people just don’t talk like that?? Idk maybe I’m just An Old.

I’m sorry people had to die on that hill and decided that you were a good outlet for their frustrations.

Hi! As much as I want that post to die it seems you still had some thoughts about it so I don't wanna leave you hanging :)

Honestly I just threw out the thoughts I had at the time and it blew up. I never thought how I would label my relationship before that because I didn't feel a need to do that. People kept berating me in the notes for calling it straight and it annoyed me so much I felt the need to clarify what I meant and why labeling the relationship itself didn't matter to me.

In the end, there is no use in arguing about personal labels. I would never pressure anyone into using a certain label and I understand the significance it has for each individual.

This really just made me think about why I wrote the post this way. I never really talk about this stuff irl and much less in English so ig I just threw out what I wanted to say in the first words that came to mind.

What I meant initially was that bi people regardless of relationship status or label are still bi. However I did label my relationship as a straight relationship with that post and people understood what I wanted to say and identified with it. So I actually stand by my point . Bi people in straight relationships are still bi. If you don't think this label fits you, that's fine too.

While I understand like you said "the power and agency of language" and try to listen and adjust my language where I can to be inclusive, I also think it's important I'm still true to myself where I am concerned. (On second thought I do acknowledge "straight" as opposed to bent or queer can have negative connotations so maybe I should just use hetero as in "not the same, different"? Idk.) Anyways, this was a bi person talking about a bi issue. We face enough exclusion from all sides as it is, I didn't think how we label our relationships would be this big of a focus in a post where I was talking about my thoughts on the Kit Connor allegedly queerbaiting situation.

Thanks for your thoughts on this, I appreciate your input.

[mengyao]

writing ask meme: 3 &/or 30?

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

i've always felt that my writing is very identifiable, embarrassingly so. this isn't necessarily a bad thing--i like to think my stuff has? personality??

but specifically… i love "unexpected tenderness" type stuff between characters who have a fraught dynamic and either aren't expecting tenderness from the other person or are going against their own ~better judgment~ to offer it. i eat that shit up.

other ingredients of the cocktail i would consider the Bloodletter Special:

class dynamics… sometimes this is more obvious than others but yanno

characters having gender (in some way or another, regardless of whether they're trans) but specifically having gender as a facet of broader questions of self-definition or agency… i just find it really compelling TT

sex before feelings and/or characters having sex while denying that they have feelings

Weird (But Enjoyable) Intimacy As Catalyst For Emotional Journeys… this may be related to the previous two bullet points or it may not be.

subpoint of above: i do make a point to write more explicit content than i otherwise would when i'm writing about characters having gender because i'm trying to be the change re: boring or personally unappealing trends in the trans(/etc) fic porn that's common to find on ao3… but also i just think it's an interesting lens for a lot of different aspects of character. Porn As Character Study yk. but yes i do have a self-inflicted mission to convince people that you can indeed write fic porn about trans characters that is a) sincerely horny [rather than being so wrapped up in Not Getting Things Wrong that it feels... detached?] and b) distinguishable from bad a/b/o (sorry to be a bitch. but.) obvi it's also a matter of personal taste and i'm sure there are people who hate my trans fic porn and they are so valid. however i will not stop writing it because i find it fun and can do what i want

dark humour… these days i think my stuff gets more comedic the heavier the subject matter gets (though this is also hard to gauge because idk if things i consider funny ping as funny to a reader other than myself)

i Will tell you where every scene is set. you Will be informed of this. usually in more detail than is necessary. (i've been actively trying to resist doing this while writing my most recent HX fic, because one of my tenets of writing he xuan POV is to not describe physical/material details to add colour to the scene unless i want the reader to be noticing that he xuan is thinking about a given thing, or it's necessary to understand what's going on. it takes A LOT of willpower on my part!)

characters getting angry… i just really like (justified) conflict. the girls are fighting!

people having baths and/or playing with each other's hair. i literally get embarrassed over how often i write this into things but does it stop me? absolutely not

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

i rarely stay in my comfort zone for larger projects tbh. i crave novelty and a challenge B)

the most recent example is definitely panting like a dog at the edge of your bed because i've never written anything that's about sexual violence in such an overt way (even though it's also about other things…). part of my brain still haunted by the spectral voices of various ex friends was convinced that i'd get a bunch of people vagueing me in bad faith over it (probably without even reading it), and the fact that that..didn't…happen…. is reassuring lol. so i guess the takeaway is that most people paying any level of attention to my small fry ao3 profile are not going to do weird discourse at me at the drop of a hat and i can calm down (this is not the first time i've had a similar mental dialogue with myself over various topics and i doubt it will be the last)

[the-fire-might-be-shooting-at-us]

Oh yeah bc I definitely want to be close with your passive aggressive ass calm down if you don't feel comfortable with the word bro sorry.

You've seen like one post of mine, and I'm tired of pacifying Hargrove Fans by constantly repeating Ik he's complex and deserves empathy. He's a compelling villain, but he is a racist and an abuser and it's important to not excuse his actions, just understand them.

I'm not calling his experiences a sob fest, I admit that was ill worded, but the Duffer's admitted he was a racist, and then chose to never address his racism during his poorly executed redemption, choosing to instead bury with with a sad story.

I, a victim of constant abuse and racism, find Lucas, Max, and Jonathan as more compelling characters that go through the same thing. If you relate to Billy, fine, but that doesn't mean he hasn't done terrible things that should never be brushed away.

Also just like you dislike being called bro and babe, I dislike being called dumb or being implied to be, soooo.

Your point about Steve and the Party being with Max is valid, but Hargrove wasn't driven by worry for his sister, and not his need to bring her back. He wanted to return the abuse given to him to someone. You can see that he's been holding it in all season up until that moment. Also, that does not explain his constant targeting of Lucas due to his race, or him beating Steve up even after he was unconscious. His protectiveness lessens in value when he traumatised and put Max in danger in ways Lucas and the kids didn't.

That post wasn't about Steve, it was about how him beating Steve up was the least of the things he's done. Hargrove is considered one of the beloved characters, so idk what you're talking about. Also your point still doesn't make sense. Do you think my life revolves around him? I made one post and expressed my opinion on a character you like, you could've looked away or just not responded, but you chose to write your opinion, which is also valid.

And Steve is a victim, Lucas and Max even more so. That was the whole point of my OG post. That while Steve was beat up badly, somehow that was not as bad as what Hargrove did to Lucas and Max.

Yk it’s bad when beating up a character to near death/unconsciousness is t the worst thing someone’s fav did