#and who knows maybe it will completely change at some point but rn. no . thumbs up hope this helps

[callixton]

genuinely what happened to make me so romance repulsed. i was not always like this

[ellssbellss]

Lavender Roses ~ (Kyoya Ootori x Reader)

pairing- Kyoya Ootori x Reader

In which a rational head hides a generous heart, but you have always known how to see past his walls and help him bloom into the gorgeous rose he is.

Enjoy a slow burn between an honor student and our beloved glasses character!

-> word count: 5.8k

-> summary: Kyoya walks with the rest of the host club as they wait for you and Haruhi to finish up your exams. His mind continued to flicker back to the conversation he had with you earlier. 

Maybe it’s not just them. 

He realized he never got to finish.

Maybe it could be us.

-> i'm so tired rn.

tw!: it's that scene in the changing room, so it has a feel of SA, but no actual SA happens! just be aware of yourself <3

see masterlist!: masterlist

Beware The Physical Exam! pt. 2

“We will begin conducting physical examinations shortly. All students, please proceed to the clinic in your respectful school building.” 

You, Kyoya, and Tamaki walk together, weaving through the crowds of pale yellow dresses and blue jackets towards a large ballroom at the end of the hall. 

“Are we sure that the girls won’t know it’s me?” Tamaki asks, stuffing his hands into his pockets. His shoulders squirmed, and both you and the ravenet saw the concerns swirling in his violet irises. 

And you couldn’t have that, now could you? 

“Now, don’t go doubting your own plan, Tamaki. Have some faith.” Kyoya assures, his black book firmly grasped in his hands. 

Still not completely convinced, the blonde met your gaze. 

“You got this Tamaki, it’ll be seamless.” You say, following it with an awkward thumbs up.

And sure enough, Tamaki’s suspicions were vanquished by the overwhelming trust for his friends, and he walked ahead, a proud look in his eyes. You breathe a sigh of relief and shake your head as you watch your friend.

“I almost feel bad for him.” You say to the megane, laughing as the blonde walks with a new confident stride. 

Kyoya rolls his eyes, a smirk gracing his lips. “Oh, please. Tamaki has had his head in the clouds all week. He needs to be brought down a peg or two.”

“You’re just mad because he called you ‘supporting cast’.” You tease, taking the time to wave at some of your guests as they pass by.

“As were you.” He points out, gray eyes flicking to you for a moment.  

Shrugging, you brush it off. “I mean, if anyone is a supporting cast, it’s us.” 

“How so?” 

You observe Tamaki as he practices his lines under his breath. “Don’t you think it’s all kind of perfect? A vase breaks, and a month later, Tamaki is reaching epic lengths to keep this girl in our little club.”

A sentimental simper lifts the corners of your mouth as you look at your blonde friend. “Tamaki has always done the most for the people he cares about, but this time it feels different.”

“Because he loves her?” Kyoya questions, raising an eyebrow.

You nod, meeting his gaze. “Haruhi might think he’s pompous now, but you and I both know that it’s only a matter of time before she realizes how lovable Tamaki really is.” You throw a knowing look his way, and he delves his attention back into his notes. 

“And then from there, the classic sequence of fluffy moments, intertwined with jealousy and protectiveness, lead up to a dramatic event that just might tear their relationship apart.” 

Kyoya nearly gags at the dreamy look that clouds over your expression. “It will be clear then, how important they are to each other. A grand romantic gesture, probably from Tamaki, will seal it, and they’ll live happily ever after.” 

You end your fantasy and come back to earth, taken aback Kyoya giving you the most deadpan expression you’ve ever seen. 

“What?” You ask, a blush threatening to show.

“Who knew you were such a hopeless romantic?” He rolls his eyes. That earns him another shove.

“Shut up, it’s nice.” A teasing tone laces in your voice. Ootori huffs a breath, laughing in his own way.

“As I was saying,” You continue with your theory as you reach the arch of the grand doorway. When you walk into the physical exam room, Tamaki makes a turn behind one of the curtains. “Those two are like the perfect formula for a romantic comedy.”

Kyoya glances at you, then back at his book, casually writing as he says, “Maybe it’s not just them.”

The weight of that he just implied makes you falter slightly as your best friend continues to walk forward. 

He’s not talking about me, right? About us? 

You shake your head slightly before you can dig deeper in the meaning of those 5 words. Of course not, he’s not interested. It was just small talk.

Even as your heart sinks slightly at the thought, you catch up with the ravenet once again. Both of you make your way to Haruhi, who is staring incredulously at Mori and Honey-senpai adorning doctor outfits. Your mood is immediately lightened at the serious look on the cousin’s faces, and a giggle bursts from your chest. This was unexpected. 

“They’re so obvious.” Haruhi says once the pair of you are in earshot.

“I have these two for backup just in case something happens.” Kyoya says as he nears Haruhi’s side, a hand on his frames. 

“But why are they in doctor disguises?” You ask, an speechless smile painting your face, slightly covered by your fingers. 

“They’re just setting the mood. Disguises make our operation feel like a real espionage mission.” 

Another laugh escapes you. “This just got so much better.” 

To the left of you three, a doctor brightly commends a student for losing a couple pounds, his smile a little too big and his pitch a little too high.

“Don’t you find it weird that all of these doctors are so jovial and nice?” Haruhi says, an annoyed look on her face. 

With an agreeing tilt of your head, you fold your arms across your torso. “They are chosen by the school’s chairman. While this may be a school, it’s also a business.”

Kyoya shuts his book and adds on, “He wants to keep the students happy. After all, most of the students who attend Ouran Academy have private doctors at home, so this…this is just a formality.”

As if in sync, you and Haruhi both roll your eyes. Damn these rich people. 

The honor student walks off to explore a little more, but as you turn to Kyoya to start another conversation, you feel a sudden pressure on your shoulder. Your body twists as it struggles to catch its balance, and you topple into Kyoya’s side. He supports you from your waist and shoulder, guiding you back to your feet.

Looking up, you notice a man wearing a lab coat looking back at you in surprise, his face unshaven and dark circles tracing his under eyes. 

Kyoya’s gaze sharpens as the doctor meets your gaze, an unsettling feeling finding the pit of his stomach. His grip on you tightens as the doctor finally speaks.

“I’m terribly sorry.” The homely man’s voice is like gravel as his brown eyes flicker back down to the floor. 

“It’s no problem.” Your heart is in your throat. Neither you or Kyoya liked the way he had studied you just now.

When the doctor walks off, and you straighten your uniform, trying to get your pulse to slow down.

“Are you alright?” Kyoya asks as you roll your shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” You watch the doctor from over your shoulder. Kyoya follows your eye line. 

“You got a bad vibe from him too, right?” 

“I did indeed.” 

Huh.

:::

Girls and guys alike crowd around a curtain, waiting in anticipation for the Hitachiiian twins as they are called in for their chest measurements. The host club stands to the side while Haruhi looks on, confused at the determination in each of the students' eyes. 

“You can use this area behind the curtain to undress.” The nurse says, attempting to guide them back behind one of the vanilla-colored fabrics. You roll your eyes as the pair of twins refuse, unbuttoning their shirts in the unobstructed view.

“Doesn’t matter to me.” Hikaru says, his shirt falling off his shoulders to reveal a chiseled chest.

“Yeah, we’re not shy.” Kaoru’s abs peek out from the cotton material as the shirt pools at the bend of his elbows.  

The fans in front of them squeal and cheer as their faces flush with overwhelming excitement. Averting your eyes, you meet Mori’s gaze as you both judge in silence. 

Kyoya pushes his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “See, Haruhi? A rather impressive turnout today.” He brings his hand down into his pocket, a confident stance taking over his form. “Physical exam day is quite popular with the guests.” 

Taking their attention in stride, Hikaru and Kaoru put on an act, sensually holding each other while whining about the ‘doctor games’ they play at home. Gagging, you push forward with the plan, saving Haruhi from seeing anymore of this monstrosity.

“C’mon, Haruhi, this way.” You say as you push her through one of the curtains. With a surprised yelp, she stumbles out of sight, leaving you to move back to your friend’s side. 

When you see the Hitachiian’s, you blink, grumbling as you near the group. “Goddamn it, twins, put your shirts back on.” 

They each raise an eyebrow. Exchanging a look, they move towards you. 

“Or what?” Kaoru leans an elbow on your shoulder, while Hikaru comes up to your opposite side. 

“You gonna fall in love with us or something?”  

You look between each of the twins as a small patch of silence befalls the group. But Hikaru was the first to break. 

A fit of laughter rings through your trio as you grasp at each other, trying to catch a breath. 

“Oh my god!” You snicker, struggling to get the words out. “How did you say that with a serious face?” 

The twins had tears in their eyes, “We have no idea!” 

The other hosts watch you three as you’re crumpling, rolling their eyes at your antics. 

“Mr. Fujioka? Are you ready to be measured now?” You barely notice a sudden hush fall over the room, but you and the twins take that as a signal to shut up. 

Your attention is dragged back to the curtain that you pushed Haruhi through. Curtain rings screech against metal as the fabric is dramatically pushed to the side, a pale figure coming into view. 

An open button up shirt was draped over a man with brown hair and violet eyes. Those irises were serious as they looked among the crowd.

“Yes,” his distinguishable voice fills the room, “I am Haruhi Fujioka.”

Blanketed by a confused hush, the students stared at Tamaki in a brown wig with a sweatdrop on their foreheads. 

Once again, the twins were dying as you clutched your side, not able to stop yourself from laughing so hard. 

Hikaru shouts through his absolute guffaws, tears clouding his vision. “I can’t believe he actually did it!”

“I can’t breathe!” You open your eyes for a split second to catch a glimpse of Tamaki raging towards the group, only to laugh harder. “Tamaki, please, haha, I can’t breathe!”

Kaoru has been reduced to his knees, banging his fist on the ground. “They recognized him! I told you they’d see through it.”

Long legs reach Hikaru, and Tamaki’s hands wrap around his throat. “You jerks!” He turned to you and pointed while still keeping a grip on Hikaru. “You said there was no way the guests would be able to tell it was me!”

“It’s payback for calling us the homosexual supporting cast!” You snicker through your retort, calming down slowly and wiping the water from your eyes. 

Tamaki takes off his wig and retreats back to the curtain, pulling it open further to reveal a defeated Haruhi on her knees, a dark aura surrounding her.

“I’m sorry, heh,” The prince says, hiding behind the fabric, “They figured it out.”

The honor student whips her head around to her senpai, a fierce stare piercing Tamaki as he screams in horror. He pales and freezes, stuck in temporary limbo. 

You watch as Kyoya walks over to Haruhi and places a hand on her shoulder. 

“Haruhi, ready?” She glances up at him, her eyebrows knitted together. “I went ahead and set up a separate room for you, a special boys clinic.” 

Haruhi seemed hesitant as you stepped up beside her. “And there is a doctor standing by that is sworn to secrecy.” You say, an assuring look in your eye. 

Kaoru and Hikaru give Kyoya a side-look. “It turns out the doctors here today are all on staff at one of Kyoya-senpai’s hospitals.” They start to shrug in unison. 

“Would’ve been nice if you had said something to us earlier.” 

The third Ootori son puts on a fake host-smile, “I had to get my revenge too.” He glances at you as he says, “I just don’t think I’m supporting cast, homosexual or otherwise.” 

You adjusted your gaze elsewhere, shaking your head with a knowing simper on your face.

Haruhi grabbed your wrist gently, getting your attention.

“Would you come to the clinic with me, (Y/n)? I still don’t really know my way around this place.” 

“Oh! Yeah, of course.” You turn to Kyoya. “I’ll just get my exam done there since I haven’t seen a nurse yet.” 

He only nods, waving goodbye to you as you walk down the hallway. 

:::

You and Haruhi make it down one of the lengthy hallways and open another intricate door. A woman sits inside at her desk, dressed smartly with glasses and a ponytail. 

“Haruhi Fujioka. I’ve been made aware of your situation. If you wouldn’t mind, please disrobe over there.” The doctor points to one of the two changing stations, and you give Haruhi a thumbs up before she moves behind another curtain. 

The doctor looks over at you, a polite but confused smile on her face. 

“I’m sorry, but Mr. Ootori didn’t say anything about two cross-dressing students, so I-”

You wave your hands in front of your face, giggling. “Oh no, no, I’m just one of Haruhi’s friends. Kyoya said it might be okay if I just get my exam done right now? Since I’m already here?”

“Oh!” She perks up and pulls out another sheet of paper, attaching it to her clipboard. “Of course! Just disrobe in there, and I will be with you as soon as I’m done with your friend.”

She steps into Haruhi’s curtain as you step into yours. Your jacket pools to the floor as your tie slithers from the collar of your shirt. Button by button, the cotton fabric is shrugged off your shoulders, revealing the undergarments you had chosen for the day. 

On the other side of the room, Haruhi and her doctor were finishing up.

“Well Mr. Fujioka, everything looks normal!” The medical professional flips through some of her papers as Haruhi shrugs her button-up back on, working the plastic circles through their holes.

“Thank you, Doctor.” Haruhi bows slightly.

“No worries at all! Now, onto our next patient, Ms. (L/n)-”

The two women froze as they heard a muffled scream across the carpeted clinic.

:::

Kyoya walks with the rest of the host club as they wait for you and Haruhi to finish up your exams. His mind continued to flicker back to the conversation he had with you earlier. 

Maybe it’s not just them. 

He realized he never got to finish.

Maybe it could be us.

Taking a long breath to keep his heart in place, he walked past a group of girls. He didn’t even realize she was crying until she let out a whine.

“I’m telling the truth!” 

Along with the rest of the host club, Kyoya turned, confused at the sudden tension in the air. 

“One of the doctors grabbed me by the shoulder! He was trying to make a pass at me!” The young girl held her face in her hands. “I’ve never been so terrified.”

The club’s manager put a hand to his chin, an image of the strange doctor flashing across his mind. 

“Hm, I had a feeling this might happen.” He breathed a bored sigh, earning a confused look from the others. 

Honey looks up at him, Usa-chan hanging at his side. “What do you mean?” 

“Earlier today, (Y/n) and I saw a strange man wearing a white lab coat, but clearly not one of our hospital’s doctors, and we both thought it was a little odd.” 

Confused looks turn into annoyed ones as the twins look at him with deadpan faces. “Shouldn’t you have said something earlier?”

A sheepish smirk crosses Kyoya’s face as he realizes they are right. “Well, it’s no big deal. I’m sure the security guard will catch him.”

Voices spring back into their vicinity. “Tell me, Miss, did you see where the pervert doctor was headed?” 

“Yes sir, he ran off towards the special boys clinic!”

Kyoya’s heart dropped into his stomach. The twins' eyes widened as Honey and Mori’s faces hardened into something threatening. Tamaki looked scared, his jaw clenching as all six of them whip around to look down the long hallway that led to where you were. 

“(Y/n) and Haruhi!” 

:::

As you undressed, you heard the ruffle of the curtain behind you. You turned to welcome the female doctor you had met before, but as a man closed the opening behind him, trapping you inside, you began to think differently.

“Hey! What the hell?” You cried as you tried to cover yourself up, your clothes being too far away to grab as you put distance between you and the stranger.

He turned around, and you recognized him as the man from earlier. Your heart picked up speed even more, remembering how his gaze scanned you up and down earlier this afternoon. 

When he saw you, his eyes widened, and being larger than you, strode over to you in one step, placing a constricting hand over your mouth and a firm grip on your shoulder. The force presses you into the wall

“It’s not what you think! Please, just keep quiet!” 

Feeling your heartbeat in your ears now, tears prick your eyes as you’re pinned against plaster. You scream behind his palm, hoping the sound is loud enough for someone, anyone, to hear.

It was.

As he neared the room, your high-pitched scream made Kyoya run a hundred times faster than he had been, rage and fear fueling his speed when he thought of what could be going on in there. 

The muscles in his jaw clenched as his shoulder forced open the door. When it opened, he saw Haruhi and the doctor rush out of their changing room, the honor student’s alarm going off once she saw how terrified the host club looked. 

The Ootori son was the first to reach the curtain, whipping it open to find you pushed against a wall, your clothes strewn aside as you were manhandled by the stranger in question.

His chest lurched at your tear-stained cheeks as he ran to you, Tamaki springing a kick at the doctor’s head, throwing the stranger into the wall. 

And then, as fast as the man was thrown off of you, Kyoya stood in his place, wrapping your form in his jacket and cupping your face. His gray eyes safely scanned your body, searching for any sign of bruising or injury. Thank God. 

His presence was comforting, the complete opposite from his usual, cold demeanor. Had he always been this warm?

“You’re okay, (Y/n), you’re okay.” Kyoya’s face was stern, but the intense emotions that coiled behind his glasses made you wonder if he was assuring you, or himself. 

Shock still stopped your body from moving as your friends gathered around you. They saw your wet irises and slack jaw, and you were surprised that they couldn’t hear the hard thump of your heartbeat. 

A feeling of safety washed over you. Your brain finally registered that your friends were here, Kyoya was here, and you released a shuddering breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

Shuffling was heard behind the club as the man dragged himself up from the wall, catching the attention of your friends. Shadows crossed over their faces as Kyoya gently passed your wobbly stature to Haruhi, who let you lean into her side. The darkest aura twisted around him as his glasses flashed, making sure to keep you behind him at all times. 

“One, good looks that attract the public eye.” The twins step forward in sync, their posture menacing. 

“Two,” Kyoya stepped forward, glaring knives at the doctor in front of him. “More wealth than you could imagine. 

Mori stands above them all, side-eyeing the unruly man in the wall. “Three, chivalry that will never be able to overlook…”

Honey rises a few feet below him, reflecting off of his cousin. “...the hideous wickedness of this world.” 

Tamaki plants himself in front of you all, ready to protect his mon ami at all costs. “That’s what makes up the Ouran High School Host Club!” 

Then, in unison, they shout together. “We’re here! Watch out!”

Even amidst all the drama, you let out a small laugh. “Do you think they practiced that?” You turn to ask Haruhi, but her brown eyes are staring at wonder at the princely blonde in front of you. 

Kyoya turns back slightly at your laugh, relieved to see you returning to normal. 

The doctor whines, scared of the men in front of him. Sweat pours from his forehead as he begs for his safety. 

“Please don’t hurt me! Spare me my life.” From his position on his knees, he frantically succumbs to the host club, becoming very pathetic in your eyes. Confused beyond measure, you step forward, gripping the borrowed jacket around your form as you walk towards him. You’re still hesitant, of course, but as the man who had you pinned up against a wall, just moments ago, desperately bows at your feet, he doesn’t seem so scary anymore. 

“What are you doing in here?” You ask him, feeling more confident by the second. 

He looks up at you, then hangs his head, and suddenly, it’s his life story.

“I’m a doctor. I have a small emergency clinic that I run in the next town over. My name is Yabu.” 

Your eyebrows raise as the twins behind you grimace. 

Hikaru appears to your right. “Did he say his name was Yabu?” 

Kaoru approaches your left. “What a terrible name for a doctor.”

They meet eyes with each other as you’re stuck between them. “Unless you’re a quack.” 

Yabu heaves a heavy sigh. “I know.” He looks around to all of you, observing the threatening glances each host displays on their face. 

“I’m here looking for my daughter. My wife left me last month and took my daughter with her, but I know that she attends school here.” 

Your mind races, trying to connect the dots as Haruhi speaks up, standing near Tamaki. 

“Not to pry or anything, but why did your wife leave you?” 

The quack sits on his heels, one hand rubbing his face as he recalls the worst day of his life.

“Well, you see,” He starts, a distant, sad look ghosting over his brown eyes. “I’ve had a problem letting patients take advantage of me, allowing them to get away with unpaid receipts and forgotten IOUs. My girls thought that I didn’t care about the welfare of our family, but that could never be true!” Yabu’s hands were brought up to cover his face. 

“But they didn’t listen,” He whined, “They left me forever.”

As he looked back up, he was met with sympathy from your group instead of distaste, his story keeping you and your club at the edge of their seats. Save for Kyoya, of course.

His tone softened as he begged for someone to feel for him. “I know I’m terrible with managing our money, and I can’t say no to anybody. But I want to see my daughter one more time.” He weakly gestured around the room you were standing in. “So I came here.” 

Pulling on his lab coat, the doctor continued. “I finally made it to your school, but once I entered, I was mistaken for a doctor here to examine students.”

Empathetic looks replaced the twins' foreboding scowls, and they both spoke at once. “Well, of course, you were wearing a lab coat.”

You crouched down in front of him, a concerned look embedded in your brow. “Anyone would mistake you.”

Yabu nodded and looked down at the floor “And then it happened.” The shaggy brunette began to cry as he recalled today’s events. “I tried to ask a student if she had seen my daughter, but she started screaming. And before I knew it, there were all kinds of people chasing me!”

Already emotional from the minutes before, Tamaki joined you as you both cried with him. “That’s so tragic!” 

Realizing that, once again, he was the only rational member of this friend group, Kyoya cleared his throat. “Doctor Yabu, I think you may have the wrong place.” He spoke plainly, not quite ready to forgive and forget. “Are you looking for Ouran Public High School?” 

Yabu quickly nods, relieved to hear something familiar. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Kyoya tsked, a headache forming at this guy’s stupidity and ignorance. “I figured that might be the case. This is Ouran Academy, a private institution. Your daughter doesn’t go to school here.”

You turn to see the doctor pale, a shocked expression on his tear-stained features. 

Hikaru shakes his head. “Wow, that’s pretty sad. You don’t even know what school your daughter goes to?”

Kaoru sighs, just as disappointed. “I bet your relationship is messed up ‘cause you don’t pay attention to her. Not because of some stupid debt.” 

Standing up, you walk over to Kyoya. “Wow, I couldn’t even figure that one out.”

Kyoya notices the color has returned to your face before replying. “Well there’s no way the daughter of such a small town doctor would ever be able to get into Ouran Academy.”

This comment earns a playful glare from both you and Haruhi as Kyoya doesn’t realize the irony.

Behind you, Tamaki straightens out, and you turn around to sense a soft, determined aura around him.

“Kyoya, would you please find a map of all the public high schools in this area? I’d like to help this man find his daughter.” 

There was a pause as the ravenet perked up. You noticed Haruhi’s pupils twinkle as she saw Tamaki in a different light. You smiled at her, remembering the first time Tamaki first showed you this side of him. 

Kyoya, also being touched by his friend’s fortitude, relaxed slightly with a smirk on his face. “Whatever you say.” 

He spared a last glance at you as he walked out of the room, knowing that you were okay. The megane knew you were just as resolved and kind as the prince. It was one of the things he adored about you.

:::

The eight of you watch Yabu walk off your campus as cherry blossoms flutter around him, clutching a map close to his chest.

Kaoru raises an eyebrow. “Are we sure about this?”

Hikaru nods. “After all, even if he does manage to find his daughter, there’s no guarantee she’ll wanna speak with him.”

Tamaki follows the doctor with violet pupils until he is out of sight. “Well then, that’s something he will have to find out for himself.”

Haruhi looks at him, the same amazed look from earlier. You slightly nudge Kyoya, gesturing towards the two, and whispering, “There’s the moment, where she realizes that he isn’t as pompous as he seems.” You smile up at him and he quietly hopes that you have come to the same conclusion about him. 

“Uh, not to be rude, but we need to get out now.” Haruhi says as she turns to the rest of the group.

Tamaki blanches and jumps away from the honor student. “Haruhi, are you still mad at me? You’re not thinking of quitting the host club, are you?” Horror streaks across his face. 

The brunette just laughs and gestures to you. “Don’t be stupid, senpai, (Y/n) just needs to finish her physical exam.” Your friends look at you before quickly averting their eyes somewhere else, quickly remembering that under Kyoya’s jacket, you were not very decent.

“Oh, fuck, you’re right.” You say, tightening the apparel around you. “Would it be rude if I said to get out?” 

:::

After your exam, you find Kyoya waiting for you outside of the clinic. While he is jacketless, you are able to see the outline of his arms as he leans against the wall, his swimmer body becoming more apparent to you through the fabric of his shirt. 

Your eyes travel upwards as he notices you, pushing off the wall to greet you.

“Thank you for this.” You pass his coat back to him, as you are finally fully dressed. “And thank you for everything you did for me back there.”

Kyoya simpers at you, his heart blooming at your validation. “As long as you are alright.”

“I am now. Today was kind of an emotional rollercoaster.” You two begin to walk down the corridor as Kyoya shoves on his jacket. 

Ootori hums. “I wouldn’t really know much about that.”

A giggle escapes your lips as your eyes roll. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry to break it to you, Ootori, but you have feelings.” 

The ravenet stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I don’t really care to explore that side of me, thank you.” 

Bumping your shoulder against his, you yawn, emotionally exhausted. “Well, I like you the way you are. I’ve had enough touchy-feely for one day. Being around you is grounding.”

A hint of a blush escapes Kyoya’s attempts to prevent it, but he hides it as he adjusts the frames of his glasses. 

“That’s an interesting notion, in its own way.”

BONUS DRABBLE

Crouching low, a (h/c)-haired girl hid behind stone that was erected out of a pink tile floor. 

The music room was bustling with guests, the host club in full swing. Your friends were at their peak, entertaining their visitors with such skill and elegance, you knew it would be the perfect time to catch it on tape.

Days ago, Kyoya had asked you to take photos of the club members for a special project that he was preparing, but not to let any of them see you, or else it would ruin the pictures. You had asked why, but there wasn’t a lot you could pry out of the ravenet, only getting the response of ‘I’ll tell you soon enough.” 

You had shrugged, needing something to do for the next couple days anyway. You asked him to throw in a couple new pastries on the menu that you liked, and you were in. 

Now, a camera rested in your hand as you stalked behind one of the pillars, capturing the climax of one of the Hitachiian acts. It was dramatic and framed perfectly, as Hikaru grasped his brother in a loving embrace, and you pat yourself on the back for your photography skills. 

Next, you slithered through the room, the camera’s plastic hitting against your chest as it laid around your neck. You walked quieter, stealthier, tip-toeing over to Honey-senpai’s table. Like a predator stalking its next victim, you wait behind a potted rose bush, camera set up between the stems. Your finger rests over the button as Honey picks up a piece of cake from his plate. Readying yourself, Honey takes a bite of the desert while closing his eyes, savoring the delicious taste of strawberry and vanilla mixing together. And when he opens his eyes, you click the button, the camera capturing the moment of pure bliss and happiness in Honey’s face as he licks the icing from his lips. 

From your position you turn to Mori, who is crowded with women, but barely paying attention to any of them. Instead, his gaze is turned to the window, a hint of longing in his posture. The sunlight cascades across his face as it punctures through the glass, and you follow his hand as it comes up to gently rest under his chin. Freezing the moment in your device, you regretfully turn away from the aura of calm that his pose shares with you. Flipping through the last couple shots, you shake your head in amazement.

Why are all these people so goddamn photogenic?

You lay the camera back on your chest as you bend and weave through tables and chairs, army crawling under guests without being detected. 

Tamaki was next, and he was never hard to photograph. Slowly from your hiding spot, you observed as Tamaki gently gripped the chin of one of his girls, raising her head so that she would take the delicious red rose he offered, a beautiful charm flowing from his entire being. You barely remembered to take the shot, never believing so much magic could come from one person.

You realized that you had been entranced for too long, and spun before anyone would notice you. Unfortunately, someone already had. 

“(Y/n)? What are you doing?” Haruhi’s brown eyes looked back at your bewildered (e/c) ones as you were stuck in place.

She just found you hiding behind a couch with a camera, sneaking pictures of the members of the host club. 

“It’s not what it looks like.” You cower, trying to find an escape route from her questioning gaze. 

Your response only makes her more confused as her eyebrows draw closer together. 

“Okay, then,” She points the device in your hand, “what’s with the camera?”

“Oh, uh, this?” Your hand reaches around the back of your neck as you hold up the photo box, twisting and turning it in your other palm. “Uh, I’m part of the, uh, yearbook committee!” You brighten as you find a decent excuse. 

“Yeah, yeah, the yearbook committee! They needed some photos of the host club, so they asked me to sub in!” A bright smile stretched across your face that didn’t quite meet your eyes, and you hoped you were convincing enough. 

“Oh! Well then, here.” Haruhi backed up a little before throwing up a peace sign. “I’m ready for my photo.”

You pause slightly before relaxing, always up to take a picture for your good friend. The honor student smiled slightly as you took the picture. She looked happy, contentment shining through her. 

You thanked her as she walked away, and you made your way to Kyoya, ready to return the camera. 

He was working at his desk, concentrating on his computer as you walked up to him. You smirked as you thought of an idea and turned the camera around, the lens now facing the two of you. 

Stretching out your arms, you stood slightly in front of him, smiling the best smile you could.

Kyoya looked up just in time to see the flash. You jumped a little in excitement as you turned the camera back around to see the photo.

There you two were, your smile beautiful and open, as Kyoya sits to the right, his eyes caught in the moment of meeting the lens dead on. 

Lowering the camera, you showed him the photo as he barely gave it a passing glance, complaining about hating people taking photos of him without his permission. 

Little did you know, that photo now acted as his wallpaper for his personal computer at home. 

Next time, on Lavender Roses.

“Hey Senpai, I heard a rumor that there’s another girl joining the host club. Is that true?”

“Don’t act so surprised. I heard that she’s actually Kyoya’s fiancé!”

"What?!"

Attack of the Lady Manager!

[sor-vette]

#15 On Middle Grounds

“It’s a refurbished student housing,” you explain as they trail after you like ducks in a row. Even if they don’t understand what you’re saying, they seem to be clinging to every word. Wherever you look there’s always at least one pair of doe eyes staring expectantly back at you a.k.a. what do you do when you open your doors and find a certain retired boyband for some reason wants to move in

• type: ot7 x fem! reader (poly) • w/c: 3.7k • rating: mature

• t/w: mentions of parental neglect, mention of losing a child and death, mention of a car crash and amputation, mention of alcohol use recovery, mention of being kicked out of home, mention of suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts, workplace bullying, depression

• series’ masterlist • other works

• a/n: the lack of communication is slowly being bridged, please be patient with these bozos, I'm listening to your frustrations :) This chapter...meh, I'm kinda emotional because I'm sick rn so idk if I told everything as clearly as I feel it - the anger, the bitter feeling, wanting to be more, depression, faint hope of perhaps managing to improve, all that. So any feedback is much appreciated :)

Second. Second. Second. You watch frozen as the clock slowly ticks forward while your head is splitting open. One wrong word or movement and this table will be covered in bile. You smile wryly at the thought of simply hurling mid-conversation. Why though - you don't know. It's not like there was anything particularly funny about the image. Maybe you had poisoned your brain.

You glance at Hoseok who was sitting two tables away. A deep frown had settled in between his brows as he kept his head low. Once he noticed your gaze he gives a lacklustre thumbs up but his expression remains concerned. The decision had been equally in half - Jae, Namjoon, Taehyung and Jin were for, with Jimin, Jungkook, Hoseok and Yoongi being against meeting Mark and respectively the whole ordeal of digging at the past.

You massage your temples recalling their horrified faces as you stumbled through everything that truly happened in New York. Caught between a rock and hard place, you had at long last crumpled. Shudder rips through just thinking of the upcoming prospect of being laid bare in front of them. Hoseok was here for as much of an emotional support as he was to make sure you didn't simply run off again and quoting not at all bitter Namjoon "stumble upon another empty-headed kaleidoscope puppy".

The bell at the front chimes and with your gut plunging into the deep dark ocean you witness Mark stepping in. He finds you near-instantaneously and his lips tighten.

"Hello," he greets pleasantly, sitting down. Hoseok was watching like a hawk. You've never witnessed him be so intimidating. There's not a single line on his face that doesn't project vehement hostility.

"Could I get you something to eat perhaps?"

"Get to the point" you sharply interrupt and Mark jerks. "How do you know who I am?"

"There's a lot of old pictures we have in the attic. I'm the sentimental type so I recently looked them over... You haven't changed much over the years."

You don't know why but that little phrase has your palms curling into fists. Possibly because you have tried to change hard. In the background, a chair squeaks against the ground. Hoseok had risen to stand but you subtly shake your head. After a moment of stubborn reluctance, he sits down again.

"That's your boyfriend?" Mark questions, giving the glaring man a questioning glance. "What about that blue-haired youngster?"

"Who they are doesn't concern you. What do you want?"

"What do you want?" without missing a beat, Mark echoes. "You were stalking my wife's office."

"I was hired completely legally to design the office. Why do you call her like that?"

"Like what?"

"My wife," you scoff. "She has her own name."

"I know. I... I just like saying it. It was hard for us to get married."

You arch an eyebrow.

"Oh, was I supposed to care?"

Mark heaves an exhausted sigh.

"So...are you looking for a reconciliation?"

You never thought your blood could possibly boil that fast.

"That's the last fucking thing I would ever want," you snarl.

"What I want is to find out what the hell did I do to your perfect wife that I had to be kicked out of home when I was still in school."

Mark's head hangs lower at your words.

"She's not perfect," he mumbles. "But she's trying."

Trying?

"Those pictures in the attic, did she show them to you or did you just find them shoved deep into an unmarked box covered by cobwebs?"

You're greeted with silence.

"Trying," you repeat sharply. "Trying for you maybe, for your new and improved daughter."

"I understand..."

"You don't," shaking, every moment all too clearly passes by your eyes. Crying in the work breakroom because you just wanted to sleep but you couldn't because university needed so much money, graduating and then going to your shitty, insect ridden dorms, all alone, holding the paper you'd given everything for in a mute and lonely celebration, passing birthdays with no well-wishes or remembrances before they stopped having any meaning altogether, awkward pauses when someone asked about your parents, the lump in your throat looking at others, their happy families, their happy, normal lives, cheeks flaming with shame when people said "no parent is perfect, you were just being ungrateful for cutting ties", standing on a bridge, holding a knife, staring down a bottle of pills and wondering why shouldn't you just end it - no one would even come to your funeral anyway, at least it would be over, at least you would stop being this. At least everything would just go away.

"You don't understand."

Jae stalks between the flower aisles, wrangling the composition in his hands, searching for a perfect vase. How could you do it so easily?

He'd been trying to find the perfect combination for your desk for nearly an hour now, spending all his lunchtime in the nearby flower shop. His stomach rumbled but he ignored it. Looking at the marigolds he frowned to himself. If only you'd be alright after this.

"We met eight years ago. In a group counselling -"

A thin laugh escapes your lips.

"Sorry, my mother went to therapy?" you laugh again. "It's almost a shame you can't appreciate the irony of that."

"I had just been in a car crash. I lost my leg, this," he knocks against his left leg, "is a prosthetic. And - and I lost my son and your mother was the only it that group that I could - that I could talk to. I fell for her very quickly but she was - she was so closed off. Always asked about me but wouldn't say anything that happened with her," you throw a flighty glance at Hoseok and cross your arms.

"I pursued her for about...three years? Accompanied her to AA meetings and to work. I thought I'd be her friend forever which was fine I loved her so much I didn't really care but one day she said she loved me back, said I was -" he smiled to himself but suddenly that joy drained from his face like blood out of a gaping wound.

"Said you were what?"

Mark clearly didn't want to but you made sure to let him know from your expression that you wouldn't leave unless he did.

" - said I was the best thing that happen to her."

You can't help but continue laughing even if inside it felt like acid was eating at your insides. You giggle so loudly people look back, startled. Ah, just when you thought you couldn't be kicked any harder.

"We married soon after that and had Pauline," Mark hastily summarized, leaning back onto the chair.

"Happy ending, right?" you toss out, sniffing.

"She'll be here around Christmas," Mark says after a beat. "She has to fully hand her duties to her replacement before quitting to BU."

"Oh, yeah? Whose idea was that?"

Mark shifts around in his seat uncomfortably.

"Her's," he admits reluctantly. "I'm a journalist by profession and we thought I could stay at home and look after Pauline but she was too worried. What if Pauline got sick all of a sudden, what if I had a problem with the prosthesis? And so on."

You bite your lip and fall silent, watching as the cars drove past the cafe window.

"It would be easier, right?" Mark questioned with a sad smile.

"What would be?"

"If I would be a villain."

It was maybe wrong to say, but yes it would be. If you could just unconditionally hate them but truth be told Mark and Pauline were just bystanders, dragged in a very long and unprocessed past.

"Yeah," you mumble, absent-mindedly tearing the skin off your fingers.

"I came here to offer you to meet Pauline."

You raise your head in surprise.

"Why?"

"Because..." he breathes in and out, grimacing in a gesture familiar to you, of trying to control tears really, really hard. "Because... you're still alive, we all still have a chance if not to bond then at least to not pretend we don't exist."

A heavy pause settles upon both your shoulders.

"I just think we can use the time we're given better than we've done so far."

"She wouldn't want me to..." you whisper. Your finger starts to bleed.

"Maybe not but...it's not so much of a question of me being a good husband or..." he's beginning to struggle to speak and you falter, not knowing how to comfort him - a man who was both a stranger and in a way closer to you than others. You don't know why but you gently place a palm over his hand.

"It's about Pauline," Mark clears his throat, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't want to take away anything from her, certainly not a chance to get to know a family member."

He squeezes your hand in return.

"Was it...hard?" Hoseok questions after you watch Mark's friend pick him up. They mould into the traffic and after a while disappear into the sea of other cars. Brief raindrops were beginning to fall from the cloudy skies above.

Frowning, you wipe your finger against your pants.

"It was..." your sentence remains, for now, unfinished but he understands. You both sigh in an identical fashion and then exchange small smiles at the gesture.

"You know...they...they want to know."

"Yes, I get it. No more keeping quiet. Jin chewed me out enough as it is this morning."

Being sat down, still hungover, by Jin of all people who then proceeded to reprimand you had been nothing if cathartic. Not just for you but for everyone. Yoongi vouched that never in all the years they've known each other had he seen him so serious and Jungkook had been sitting the entire time in the corner chair, completely taken aback.

"I just...need to think it over. I'll process this and then I'll talk to you."

Hoseok frowns, unconvinced.

"Pinky promise," you stretch out a finger which he embraces, eyes forlorn.

"See you later," Hoseok murmurs and after a moment of uncertainty presses a light kiss against your forehead.

He leaves, snaking his way through the bikes racing on the sidewalks. You notice him reach into his pocket, pull out a pack of cigarettes but after a few steps, he tucks the box back in, sneakily glancing back only to find you already staring.

"I'm done with these people," Yoongi spoke into the speaker as Namjoon arranged the various boxes of the new books Sam had brought in.

"Yes and I get why but she said it herself, she can't move on unless she knows the truth," he sighed, feeling an upcoming migraine pulse at the back of his head.

"What if it gets worse? What if they'll just traumatize her further? I don't think digging around her past will do any good."

"It doesn't matter what you or I think, Yoongi. What matters is what's best for her. She's fully capable of making her own decisions."

"That's rich coming from you," Yoongi muttered snidely on the other end and Namjoon glowered at the phone.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

A pause.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that..."

"You're just worried. I know, we all are."

In the background, Taehyung's voice spoke something indecipherable.

"Is Tae with you?"

"No...? Oh, I'm watching the logs."

"What logs?"

Despite the fact that Namjoon couldn't see Yoongi's expression, he knew exactly which one he was wearing. The "that was not very 148 IQ of you" face, given more often than one would assume.

"The logs," Yoongi enunciated. "The team just finished correcting the last subtitles for 2019. We never shut up, do we?" he laughed dryly.

"Well, there was a lot on our minds. Does Jungkook still have the letters?"

"Yeah, he keeps them underneath his pillow, I think. There's not that many of them."

"So is that how we're going to do it? Letters and logs?"

"Frankly, none of us has the balls to say it out loud," Yoongi grumbled. "So I guess our ridiculous project, in the end, will have some use. Huh, isn't it strange the world we're living in?"

Namjoon looked around the small staff room of the book shop, ears tuning in the occasional conversation that took place too close for comfort to where he was hiding.

Not long was left until a full year into their retirement but at times he still was dumbfounded standing in this still largely unfamiliar place, in hopes that you will accept him. Or at least will find some happiness.

"Very. Is Jin still cooking this week?"

"Yes, he's out of control. They're learning how to roast quails now. I swear, by the time he'll finish the course, no one will recognize us by default."

Namjoon laughed lightly, handing Samantha all red coloured, historical figure orientated books into her arms. Dubiously swaying underneath their weight, she left to the main floor.

"Ok, then see you back at home.

"Ok."

"Yoongi?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Quiet.

"iloveyoutoo."

When you enter the office, there are stares, there are murmurs but no one really approaches you directly and as such their gossip is easy to brush aside.

Gossip - yes, Jae kneeling over something on the floor and Erik standing over him with a predatory smile - no. As you approach closer you can hear the tone in his voice, it's jeering and unkind.

"....your ADHD ridden ass could ever -"

"The fuck are you disgracing the air with your breath for?" you call out to him, lowly. Mark was not a bad guy and it had felt wrong to push all your anger out on him, Erik - not even close.

"Your intern can't even suck up correctly," he sneered, looking around for some general agreement but there was none. While it seemed others were content with letting the scene unfold, they also didn't join.

Ignoring what Erik was saying, Jae continued to clean up the carpet, picking up shards of what once was quite a beautiful ceramic vase. You pat him on the shoulder but he only became more downtrodden at your visage, visibly shrinking in on himself.

"Erik, you truly are proof that a bitch can be a genderless term."

Blood rushed to his head but noticing just how much you were not in the mood, he could only stand and swing his fists uselessly by the side.

"I'll report you to HR!" he forces through gritted teeth.

"Please, do. And once you're there tell them to air out the room if they don't want a shit-stain like you to stench up the entire place."

After delivering each other hateful glares, he leaves, cursing and screaming, but he leaves. Not like he could literally hit you in front of the whole office, not like you wouldn't return it tenfold.

"What happened?" you ask Jae, kneeling down to his level.

"He pushed the vase over. It was meant for you, with the flowers - " he waved over at the destroyed bouquet of marigolds that appeared to be repeatedly stepped over.

"I thought you could use some cheering up."

The way his lip wobbles... Today had clearly been demanding for everyone.

You tug the shards of glass away from his hands and guide him to the storage office. It remained largely unoccupied, a glorified closet really, with only one table and shelves lined with discarded or undocumented plans and sketches. You clean up the flowers and the vase, transporting Jae's belongings to the small office.

Rain was pouring outside and the city was grey over the metal roofs.

You pull up a chair behind Jae, who'd been looking in surprise all this time, open his laptop and wait.

"What are you.... what are you doing?"

"I'm finally being your mentor," you bump your shoulder against his. "It was unfair to use your admiration to drag you into my family drama."

"I said already I wanted -"

"But I shouldn't have accepted," you shake your head firmly.

"Is this because of the meeting with Mark?" Jae asked wiping one corner of his eye with his sleeve.

"Partially. I just realized I want to do more."

"Do more with what?"

"With the time that I have," you shrug. "So have you decided the theme for your Master's yet?"

"Uh, yeah... it's "Color Therapy in Cost-Effective Office Spaces."

You smile encouragingly at him.

"I like it. So let's start working on your pièce de résistance. "

Jae blushes and the frown he was wearing before dissipates from his forehead.

"Thank you."

Rain splashes in your face, not quite enough to soak you from head to toe, but just enough to numb your face and fingers. There's a nagging weight on your chest that no amount of slow walking could ease.

You'll have to talk, you'll just have to say it, you remind yourself.

You hadn't lied when you said to Jae you wanted to do more. You did want to be more than this. Unknowingly you were continuing your mother's work, carving her every word and even the lack of some in your heart, sabotaging every good relationship and opportunity you ever had because of doubt, because of distrust or fear. How much more could you have done, could be without this thing? How much did you continue to be robbed of your life, a sacrifice to a purpose that didn't even exist?

Death had never been frightening before. Life was always so unappealing, so painful, you just assumed that there would be no longevity to your story. After a while, it wasn't really an active thought, of ending your own life as it was an assumption, that you'd simply do it, one way or another at some point. But for reasons not fully aware, ones that made you nearly ill with fear, it started to become gradually frightening. You wanted better, not only because you had people to lose now, but for the first time, in a long time, perhaps for the first time ever you reckoned you had the right to want better. That you fundamentally deserved more than anger, shame and pain. You deserved kindness and mainly it seemed from yourself.

You consider Jae's broken vase. Why had you thrown it away? Couldn't it be mended? Couldn't you at least give it a chance of being fixed again?

"___________?" a voice calls out, one you don't really recognize and you turn around in confusion.

Squeezed underneath a bright yellow umbrella, stands a woman. She's tall and as beautiful as she had been all the time you'd known her.

Marina is looking back at you, eyes wide and astounded.

"Hi!" she calls out high-pitched.

"Hello," you greet her back.

"So... how you've been?"

You roll on the balls of your feet with a polite smile.

"I'm... good. You?"

"I'm great! I'm going to be a professor," she says, breathless and glancing left and right as if there was someone standing her with a cue card on what to say.

"That's nice," you drawl. "Are you all still together?"

Marina cringes. It seems so obvious now how unwanted you had been in their friend group, how did you miss it before?

"Yes," she rubs at her neck. "Listen, I'm sorry, that we -"

"- pushed me out of your group, ghosted me for a year and then dumped me without a single message just before you all lied to me that we would move in here?" you point at the building behind you, where windows of Apartment 27 shone brightly in the rain.

"Yeah, it was shitty," she murmured.

"It was," you agree, then smile. "But I'm over it."

"So, you actually live here?" Marina's eyebrows shot up and she narrowed her eyes where Taehyung's outline could be seen in the window.

"I do. I found...friends to share it with."

Marina said nothing. Funny how once you did so much for her, how her friendship meant everything to you, so much you kept applying to the wrong program, if only to be in her company, sold exam answers to stay in her circle. And then once you dared to do your own thing, move away to study what you liked and wasn't always the one who reached out first, the friendship disappeared as quickly as the spring snow.

It was hurtful to realize, but you remind yourself - more. That time was behind you, despite what appeared to Mark, you had changed. Slowly but changed nonetheless.

You each stand awkwardly, not really strangers, not really friends. Acquaintances with pasts long brushed away.

"Hey, I just wanted to say... that you helped me out when my mom kicked me out and for that - thank you."

"I just let you use my room, it was no biggie," she coughed, clutching her umbrella.

"Still, I appreciate that."

"Right," she gave you an awkward smile. "You seem to be doing better now?"

"_________!"Jimin called out behind you, squinting through the rain in the doorway into the building.

"Listen, I got to go...home."

"Yeah, sure. It was nice to catch up," Marina said thoughtfully. You give each other a nod and then part your different ways. What once seemed like the world imploding, was now nothing but a happenstance. Marina was your friend and then she wasn't and you were fine. It had hurt and it had cut but it didn't destroy you forever.

As you quickly drag your feet towards tutting Jimin, you wonder if a part of you that you thought was untreatable, that you couldn't be separated with could be stitched over after all.

"Umbrella! How many times!" Jimin begins to scold you but once you run up the stairs and into the light, his mouth falls open.

"Your hair," he breathes, twirling a strand in his fingers.

"Yep!"

A single step inside both Jungkook and Taehyung yank you into a hug, saying they missed you.

You guess that this was what home feels like.

A piece of cucumber falls out of Yoongi's mouth once you enter the kitchen.

"What did he do to you?" he whines through a pout.

Jin turns around to see what the commotion is about and sets a towel on fire. Namjoon drops a book into a pot of soup. Hoseok simply smiles.

Your hair is bright purple, courtesy of Jae, done after work.

"Don't think that...that you, we, I mean, are not going to talk," Jin warns you, brandishing a wooden spoon, dripping in sauce with menacing intent.

You bump shoulders with Taehyung, helping to set up the rest of the table. He blooms into a wide, boxy smile.

"Don't worry, I stopped hoping I can get away from you guys."

previous ⟷ next

© sor-vette, 2022

So to clear things up:

Marina was a high school friend and crush of MC's. They went to university, studying political sciences together with a friend group. Then MC dropped out and went away to Italy to study interior design, finished it with great difficulty and returned back right when the Covid started in this universe. She was never really accepted in the group and when she went away they kind of fell out of touch. Despite that they were seeking places to stay after university and found apartment 27, MC believed that after the lockdown they would still move in together but they all bailed which is why she was there in 27 and why she put the ad in the newspaper, to quickly search for possible fillers in what was supposed to be this "friend" group.

[seijohsbabe]

Necking

Ship: Bully!A.Miya x Reader

Tw: smut, nicknames, kinda Exhibitionism, humiliation, swear words, degradation, bullying, noncon

Wordcount: 2,5k

a/n: Please im craving for feedback or some love, I’m so sensitive rn lmao, need some confirmation that my stuff what I write is good for you guys <3

When they said high school was going to be a great time, it was a huge lie. It was hell. It wasn't the school stress, your grades were good, but there was someone in your class who kept an eye on you for no reason. Unfortunately not as you would have hoped, but the complete opposite. Atsumu Miya, pro athlete volleyball player. When you started school two years ago, you were seated right next to him. He looked nice, with his nice lazy grin, and his perfectly styled hair. But at some point evil emerged from behind this facade.

It started very small. Your things were broken, your locker was broken open, and things in there were stolen or destroyed as well. You didn't know who it was, but it wasn't a great feeling. But the whole thing really started in your second year. Right on your first day, Atsumu spilled hot coffee on your blouse. Of course, you thought it was accidental, happens to everyone. But as Atsumu became more and more aggressive with his actions, you slowly became suspect. He started to pull your hair as you walked by, put one leg in the middle of the hallway so that you flew in the middle of the floor, your skirt slipped up slightly and your books scattered all over the aisle, while Atsumu and the rest of the group just kept going. At some point, you turned to a tutor, but he denied everything.

,,Atsumu our professional volleyball player? No way“ Your parents don't let you change schools anymore, it would be too much effort, it's only 1 1/2 years left.

And so your judgment was made, another 1 1/2 years of hell with Atsumu Miya.

Half a year later, at the beginning of the last school year at this school, he exceeded all limits. He was getting more and more touchy with you.

You still sat next to him and it didn't make it any easier. In the middle of class, his long, strong hands grabbed your thighs to get higher and higher. Your hands clapped against his in protest, but he didn't mind, on the contrary, while the teacher turned around and you two sat in the back row anyway, he put your hair back so that your neck was free to attack it with his mouth, to make a big red mark.

"Now everybody can see what a slut you are." He only whispered before he wrote something for the class, which the teacher dictated without even give you a second glance.

He didn't stop with anything until today. Instead, he did even more to make your life hell. You didn't know why, and why exactly you, but unfortunately you got used to it. Falling down, the tease in class, hurting you in any way, no matter whether emotionally or physically. Today it was that time again, history and Atsumu was next to you again. He came into class with his smug grin as always, every girl turned around, but he didn't pay any attention to any of them, instead, he looked straight at you. The other girls followed his gaze to give you a dark look, but that left you cold. Only Atsumu was able to scare you. You never knew what he was up to today, what he had new on the reservation, the last time it was a volleyball that was wrongly set in your face, while you only wanted to get a message to one of his team colleagues, another time he had spilled juice over your perfect notes for class. In front of the teacher, he apologized to you several times, but you saw his big grin after the teacher turned again and the class continued. It was a vicious circle that you could never escape.

So when the lesson took its course and everything was going well so far, it wasn't long before you felt his hands on your thighs again. He only wandered up to your skirt hem and down again, but this time he even went under what your eyes read wide. He wouldn't? His face stayed calm and focused, he even nodded sometimes, but his fingers slowly pushed your panties to the side to slide his finger through your slit. It made you gasp and press your thighs together. But he just pinched you, and a small, "Let them open."

You didn't want to push him to go any further, thinking how should you push him further? He was just passing one of the last borders. His fingers ran repeatedly through your cunt, while you had to bite your hand in order not to get too loud. "Oh you Lil slut, I know you want it." He whispered softly and deliberately. But you couldn't answer at the moment, luckily the hand was still buried in your mouth while he suddenly sank 2 fingers into you. This time you couldn't help but moan softly.

,,Y/n? everything okay?“ the teacher asked.

,,Y-yes, I'm just tired." Fortunately, the teacher didn't notice anything from the hand under your skirt, but this left Atsumu unimpressed and got faster and faster with his pace, while he watched you briefly with an amused grin that you have to groan loudly, but it wasn't going to end well, so you clench your teeth and try to think of something else.

He hissed in anger that you were taking it so far. So when he tilted his fingers a little and hit your point, you groaned. It was unexpected that he hit that spot. With an evil grin, he looked over at you, his fingers now taken back.

,,Y/n, I think you should maybe breathe some fresh air don't you think? Atsumu Kun, please stay with her.“ Your teacher spoke again.

If he came with you now, what would he do to you?

,,No it's okay I can go on my-" you tried to talk yourself out of it, but a certain someone had to talk over you, of course. "Oh no y/n, you will fall over afterward, you're already so pale, come on.“

And with that, he pulled you out of the classroom followed by several strange looks from the students and the teacher.

He pulled you by your upper arm as you stumbled behind him. You dared not speak, too afraid that he might come up with a stupid idea. Nobody was in the hallway, everyone was in their class. Your steps could be heard in the whole corridor, until he suddenly stopped in front of a door and you slammed in his back. Your eyes examined the door before you were dragged in. It was the boy's toilet you were dragged into.

He pulled you into one of the cabins to lock it behind you with one click. Then he pressed you firmly against the door, holding you completely captive with his size, with no way out. He looked down at you, with an omniscient grin. He had something bad on his mind and you just hoped that you would still live after that. Of course, he noticed your fear and clicked his tongue a few times while he shook his head thoughtfully.

"Oh my little y/n-chan, don't be afraid, I'm gonna show ya something real‘ good. Believe me, you'll like it."

But you didn't like a thing he did, so you just looked up at him suspiciously. His blond hair fell slightly on his face, his brown eyes glistened at you. Slowly his hands sank down to get under your skirt. This time your hands pressed onto his well-trained chest while he clasped your cunt.

"Still so wet for me, my lil slut hmm?" Your head shook, but he just grinned wider.

"Oh you will see, later you'll be begging for my cock." With these words, he tore your blouse open and then tossed it on the floor next to you. His gaze wandered over your body, back up to your eyes. You just stood there, looking at him, no clue of what to do. He moved quickly to take off his uniform to show his muscles that smelled of strength. He leans down to stop just in front of your face. One hand leaned against the door the other brushed through your hair. You looked at him dreamily, you were just too much in thoughts of what to do when he caught your lips with his lips. It caught you by surprise, with widening eyes. You already had your first kiss, but this one was nothing compared to this one.

Atsumu was dominant, demanding, and quick. He thrust his tongue into your mouth to exude even more dominance. Until it went down and down, leaving a trail of spit until it met your collarbone, to stop there and suck onto the skin. Your hands found themselves in his hair again, pulled tight, which made him grunt. After a while, he broke away to look at his work of art from afar. He looked satisfied, and ran his thumb over it until he stared into your eyes again.

In a short time, his hands were back on his shoulders to push you down with force. You couldn't fight it and let yourself fall with your knees on the floor. It made you wince, the stabbing pain went through your whole body. His hands were now on his pants to slowly open them to let them and his underpants in one moment fall. His cock jumped against you. It pulsed. The tip was already leaking pre-cum. The size alone made you swallow. He just laughed down at you while he saw your amazed face. His hands were now in your hair to twist them around and have a closer grip on you.

"Suck" he directed you with your lips to his penis. "I don't think I-" and again he interrupted you, "Oh you can baby, and you will, now suck." He said with an annoyed tone. Your hands clasped his penis. They just fit drum. You started with little kitten licks along the tip and the length, but that wasn't enough for him. He pulled your hair to make you look up. "Take it in your dirty mouth you slut."

You just nodded, to look at its length one time again. Your mouth opened slowly to lie over the first few centimeters, but Atsumu was impatient, rolled his eyes, and directed your head down. Quickly his tip tapped against your throat and you had to gag, but there were still a few centimeters left. His hand in your hair, the strong grip made you wince while he guides your head up and down at an even faster pace. Your gagging noises echoed in the whole boys toilet, your spit ran out of your mouth down on your chin.

His other hand leaned above you on the door, his head hanging down, eyes closed. "Fuck- just like that baby." He groaned while his rhythm slowly decreased. Your eyes watered, and tears ran down your face.

Suddenly he pulled you away from his cock, and looked at your weeping face, spit ran down your face mixed with your tears.

"Look at you, already so fucked out." He laughed more to himself. Then he tugged you up on your hair, your scalp burned. When you were on your feet again, he finally let go of it. He suddenly turned you around and pressed your face to the door. Your cheek squeezed against the hard material as Atsumu tore your panties under your skirt. "I needed them!" you whined to him.

"Not anymore." He lifted your skirt slightly to collect your wetness again with one finger.

He took it with relish in his mouth as if he were trying the most delicious chocolate in the world. With a "pop" he let it slide out of his mouth, and groaned at your taste.

"You know y/n-Chan, I've always dreamed about that right here, and finally I can do it in real, it's just fuck- so much better than I imagined."

Your hands pressed against the wall of the cabin, which was getting hotter and hotter as you tried to see what he was going to do. However, when you felt his cock stroking along your entrance, the panic came up.

,,Please Atsumu! Dont do this please!“

But before you could continue, he buried himself in you with a jolt. To be filled with the stabbing pain all at once was not exactly pleasant. Especially with his size it was not really easy to accept the whole thing that fast. But he didn't even give you time for that, as he began to pounding right inside you while his hands were on your hips. Now you had to let out a moan too.

Although it burned, the feeling of being completely filled was so pleasant. So lapsed in lust you didn't notice at first that he hit you on your butt. Only when he hit it a second time you had to let out a small cry. "You like that don’t you? My lil cumslut. Fuck your sucking me in, so g-gready for my cock huh?“

And with the constant pace and one more hit on your butt, the knot of lust burst and you saw stars. You were afraid your legs were going to give up so much they wobbled. Your moans echoed trough the whole boys toilet, maybe even on the hall.

Worst of all, Atsumu kept his tremendous pace. The overstimulation was too much for you to make you cry. But he just grinned as always and gripped your hips even tighter.

Out of nowhere, he turned you around to pick you up by your thighs and push you against the cabin door. The door rattled loudly, you were almost afraid it would fall apart.

He picked up his lost pace again while your senses are completely out of order. All you felt was his length in you. The tip kissed your point with every thrust. Your hands, which were still just on his shoulders, were now holding on to his neck to pull him closer and press his lips tightly onto yours. You needed something to hold on.

The pace slowed down for a moment, because he was probably surprised, but didn't let himself be confused for long until he hammered into you again. You both moan into the kiss until Atsumu broke up and took you one more time into consideration. Your eyes rolled back, your tongue peeked out a little, and your hands went up to pull on his hair. "Aw come on, another one, you can do it." You just cried towards him, the pleasure overwhelmed you completely.

The knot got bigger as Atsumu put pressure on your clitoris while he penetrated your point further. „Fuck, im cumming! Come on, come with me baby.“ He groaned head back in his neck. Your legs clasped him tightly while the pressure rose again and everything is twice as sensitive as before. ,,I-I, too much Atsumu-" you've mumbled. And with his last final snap you cummed together. He shot his semen into you, white long strings painted your walls white while you were trembling. He groaned with you together until he let go of your legs and let you sit on the floor.

As he dressed again like nothing happened, he looked at your trembling figure, completely fucked out, cum dribbling out of you. He stuck a finger in your cunt to push the cum back in, and took your chin between his fingers to make you look him in the face. "Better not to waste any of my present, you dumb Lil’ bitch alright?" And with that he walked out of the cabin even hummed a little song while you were completely out of your mind on the floor, trembling.

[tinyjeanmarco]

Helloooo 🥺🥺 idk if ur into writing hurt+comfort but I’m in such a big fat mood to cry rn and there’s not a lot Porco angst out here... I was thinking along the lines of modern au and ur already in a relationship but ur incredibly insecure about urself and the relationship, but Porco reassures u in the end that he really does love u and goes out of his way to prove it <3

(I realize u likely won’t get this done tonight and I’ll probs be in a better mood tomorrow BUT it’s still true there isn’t a lot of Porco angst out there!!)

Also if u don’t write angst pls ignore this!! Thank you 💖💖

teddy (a hurt/comfort fic)

hello my darling!! i hope that you’re in a better mood now and don’t want to cry anymore! （＞д＜） remember that it’s okay to cry and to take care of yourself. your body loves you and you should show it just as much love. i do really love hurt/comfort fics! they always make me feel so soft in the comfort part. 🥺 i’ll do my best to write this! i think porco can be a real comforting boyfie that just cares so much about you. ♡ also sorry this was so late after your request, love. (｡ ́︿ ̀｡) i listened to idontwannabeyouanymore by billie eilish, and emotional anorexic by svavar knutur while i wrote this so you kinda get the vibe i was feeling while writing!

wc: 1,818

modern!porco x gn!reader

warnings: some angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending, i swear.

he’s just busy, you thought as you exited the coffee shop. you clutched the cup in your hand tighter as you checked your phone for what must have been the twentieth time that hour.

you texted your boyfriend, asking if he wanted to do something that day, but alas, it’s been a few hours and no response. you knew he had classes, but they should be done by now, meaning he was just ignoring you at this point.

no, he’s busy. you reminded yourself. yet, you weren’t sure how much longer you could buy that thought. you couldn’t tell if that was true anymore, or if it was just a way to keep your bad thoughts at bay.

you debated texting him again, but were worried that you would annoy him. maybe that was the issue in the first place; he saw your text and wanted a break from you, thus making him ignore you. it had already been nine months since you started dating, maybe he was annoyed with you.

you picked up your pace as you walked back to your apartment, no longer wanting to be around people, in case you broke down in some way. you knew it wasn’t the best to be alone when you felt like this, your friends telling you that getting out and doing things would take your mind off your anxious thoughts.

you couldn’t seem to text anyone to tell them you felt trapped.

stepping inside your apartment, you locked the door behind you and toed off your shoes before making your way to the bedroom. you tossed your keys on a table as you walked by.

your mind just kept racing faster the more you were alone with the silence that was suffocating you. the best course of action was to take a nap, you decided. so, you changed, and put on one of porco’s hoodies that he gave you.

yet, when you settled under the covers, sleep wouldn’t find you. your insecurities picked you apart down to the bone. at this point, you had felt like you were being drowned. it was so hard to swim in the fog that was your head.

your brain had managed to convince you that porco was tired of you, and it was on its way to make you think he would break up with you. in the back of your head, you knew this was false, yet it kept persisting. it wouldn’t leave you alone.

instead of ruminating about things you didn’t want to, you thought maybe putting on one of your sad music playlists would help quiet the thoughts, which, in hindsight was an okay idea at most. it really only served to upset you even more.

you didn’t even notice tears were leaking from your eyes until you found your nose was beginning to clog. you wiped at your eyes, and just cried harder.

you were trying so hard to be okay, but your insecurities would not leave you alone. you hated it so much. you just wished they would leave you alone. tired,  you were so tired of always feeling like not enough.

normally, you would communicate to porco about how you were feeling because communication and telling the other how you feel in a relationship is rule number one. yet, you were so convinced he didn’t want anything to do with you at the moment, so you refrained.

the only option left was to just keep crying until sleep somehow made its way to you.

a few hours later is when you woke up, thanks to the constant buzzing of your phone. why couldn’t everyone just leave you alone?

sighing, you did your best to wipe the sleep from your eyes before you squinted at your phone screen to see who was calling.

your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. it was porco. what would he want? was he finally going to break it off? would he tell you that your texts got on his nerves so he needed space?

you decided you didn’t feel like answering it, not wanting to deal with whatever it is he had to tell you. you weren’t mad at him, you just didn’t want to be even more hurt than you were already. that means ignoring everything completely.

after the phone finally stopped ringing, you kept getting texts from him but you just put your phone on do not disturb and shut your eyes again.

you had fallen alseep again, but it didn’t last as long as earlier, because you happened to hear a soft knocking on your bedroom door. shooting up into a sitting position, you scanned your room for a nearby weapon. who the fuck was in your apartment?

the answer came when a gentle voice, which you didn’t want to hear, followed the knocks.

“baby? are you in there?” and ever so slowly, the door pushed open. your body felt like it was made of lead as he stepped into the room. you forgot you had given him the spare key.

“oh, were you asleep? i’m sorry if i woke you, sweetheart.” he made his way over to your bed and sat himself on the side of it.

“yeah, i was asleep. it’s fine though, i needed to wake up anyways.” you mumbled out. he nodded before speaking again.

“what’s got you down? and don’t tell me nothing because i know you only take naps when you’re upset or it’s exam week.” he reached a hand out to take yours, gently stroking the top of it with his thumb.

“are you tired of me?” you blurred out, not quite answering his question, but to porco, that was enough of an answer that he got what was going on.

“no, no, no, baby. why do you think that? talk to me, honey.” his other hand that was not in yours, reached up to gently cup your face, encouraging you to speak.

“i dunno, you had to be not answering my texts for a reason.” you sniffled, tears coming to your eyes again today. when would they just stop and let you be happy?

“i’m so sorry, baby. my phone died today after i got called in for an emergency shift at work, and i didn’t have a charger at work. i promise you, i’m not tired of you. i was thinking of you the whole time i was working. i’d rather be with you then at that dump.” he gave a small squeeze to your hand. you squeezed back.

you had felt a little of the weight lift off your heart at his words, but you had spent so long today just overthinking and assuming you were right. the sadness wasn’t going to go away immediately.

“i’m sorry i overthink so much and always make you deal with it.” he just tutted and crawled on the bed to plant himself right beside you, pulling you into his chest.

“don’t you dare apologize. you know i care about you and have no problem making you feel more comfortable.” you felt yourself melt at his words and sink into his embrace. with every word he spoke, the thoughts in your head got quieter and quieter.

you closed your eyes and just listened to his heartbeat for a second before saying anything else. one of his hands reached up to your face and wiped the last of the tears away.

“thank you, porco.” you sighed and snuggled in even closer.

“you don’t need to thank me, this is what i’m here for.” a kiss is pressed to the top of your head, and you feel him shift. “now, how about i run to get stuff to cook for you and we can spend the rest of the night in?”

“you don’t have to, pock. i’m okay with just ordering a pizza or something.” you turned to him and pressed a kiss onto his nose before connecting your lips together.

“but i wanna.” he mumbled into your lips, not wanting to break the kiss.

you eventually reluctantly agreed, and decided to hop in the shower to melt away the rest of the day’s stress as you waited for him to return. he promised it would only be fifteen minutes max that he’d be gone.

the hot water running down your back felt like heaven. you could feel the knots in your neck and shoulders just dissolve under the heat. you were okay, not like earlier when you were wrapped up in despair.

you still felt tired and a little numb from the thoughts that polluted your head that day, but at least you no longer felt the need to cry. now you just craved the touch and comfort of your boyfriend, whenever he returned.

as you were getting dressed after your shower, you heard porco call out that he had returned from his shopping adventure. pulling his hoodie back over your head, you shuffled out to where he was unloading the groceries he had purchased.

when he saw you, he hurried to grab something he set aside and made his way over to you.

he got you a giant, cuddly teddy bear and some of your favorite chocolate bars.

“what’s all this for?” you inquired.

“i got it for you, to help cheer you up and kind of apologize for being irresponsible.” he scratched the back of his neck, a light red dusting his cheeks.

“pock.. i don’t know what to say. you really didn’t have to do this.” you took the bear from his hands and hugged it close to you.

“but i really wanted to, and it’s to make up for you being sad. whenever i’m not around, you can just hug the bear and pretend it’s me.” he set the chocolate aside on the counter and went to pull you into a hug, effectively squishing the stuffed bear between your bodies.

“this bear will never live up to the expectations of cuddling with you, pock.” you let out a small chuckle.

“well, then i guess i’ll just have to be sure to cuddle you as much as i can.” he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“you won’t hear me complaining.” you leaned into him and pressed your lips together, craving his affection. “now, please cook for me, baby. i’m really hungry.”

you tried to give him the best puppy eyes you could muster. he laughed and gave you another quick kiss before pulling away and turning to the rest of the things he bought.

“of course, just make sure you sit there looking pretty and i’ll get right to it.” you finally felt a big grin form on your face, finally relaxed.

you hated that you could get so sad and insecure sometimes, but porco understood you, he didn’t judge you. you could always trust him to pick up the broken pieces when you didn’t feel okay.

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

promise [connor m. x reader] pt.2

because i think this is a fitting end to this story. actual notes at the very end of this post, after the fic.

warnings: general swearing. this is a part 2 to a fic on @pacman-tattoo though.

12:23 AM   connie: you still awake? 

12:26 AM   connie: babe.

12:35 AM   connie: i’ll be home soon, ok?

12:36 AM   connie: traffic is weirdly fucking awful rn and i wish you were here

12:37 AM   [y/n]: sorry, i’m here. i was almost asleep.

12:38 AM   connie: sorry

12:39 AM   [y/n]: make it up to me <3

12:39 AM   connie: i will

With a quiet hum, you left your phone back on the nightstand where it had been charging up until the vibrations against wood had pulled you out of your state of near-slumber. Connor rarely worked late, but sometimes he was roped into cleaning more than just the bar itself. It was temporary, he told you over and over. Eventually, he’d get his stupid book of stupid poetry (his words, never yours) and maybe he could go from there. Write more books, make things work, and one day he’d be staying at home and writing poetry while you continued to be the breadwinner once you were out of school for good (your words, occasionally his). Sure, working in an office when you weren’t swamped with classes and making pretty okay money in the meantime hadn’t been your plan originally, but... things happen. Life changed. Connor was a constant for you, though. True to the promise he made to you almost six years ago at eighteen, he never disappeared again. Not the way that he had used to. Sure, there were fights, and he would leave you alone in the living room while he shut himself up in the bedroom and dealt with the flow of emotions that rammed through him, but things worked out. On the worst nights, he’d come back out to find you asleep on the couch, and he’d end up waking you up and the two of you would fix things. He opened up to you, slowly and surely, and things worked. It was hard, certainly, but... the two of you made it work. 

And now you were lying in bed in the little apartment that you shared, waiting for him to come home from bartending (Connor Murphy, working in customer service? You never could fully believe it, but he managed) and to climb into bed next to you, and maybe the two of you would talk until you fell asleep. 

The sound of jingling keys from the living room caught your attention almost half an hour later, followed by the slamming of a door, and then heavy footsteps. Before you could call out to him, Connor came in through the door, fighting his way out of his shoes, his jacket, his jeans, and soon enough he threw himself directly into the space next to you. For a moment, he was hardened by whatever bullshit he’d faced during the day, but one look at you was enough to soften his gaze.

You sat up, reaching out to brush his hair from his face. “Long day?”

“The fucking worst.”

Despite the aggravation in his voice, you chuckled. “You wanna talk about it?”

He shook his head, hopping back up. “It’s stupid shit,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.” But he paused before he could move away, dipping forward to press a kiss against your lips. “It’s fine,” he said again. “I promise.”

As he walked away, you merely watched as he began to strip out of his clothing before changing into a faded band t-shirt that often was used by one of you as a sleeping shirt. You admired him for a moment. Six years ago, he was... thinner. Bonier. Ever since things had shifted between the two of you, he’d put on a bit of weight (enough to become less of a bean-pole and more... okay) and he generally seemed brighter, if you were honest. Maybe that was what getting out the Murphy house did for him. He’d cut his hair, although it still stayed long enough to hang in his face if he wasn’t careful. As much as you missed the long locks, you were happy. He’d begun taking care of himself. He had his off days, and you knew that, but he seemed to genuinely be trying for you, and he was trying for himself, too. 

“You like the show?”

You couldn’t help but snort. “Maybe I do,” you reached toward him, doing grabby hands. “C’mere,” you whined quietly. “I wanna cuddle.”

He scoffed at the notion, but climbed into bed next to you a moment later nonetheless. Instead of folded into your arms, he pulled you closer, wrapping himself securely around you, cocooning you in his warmth. The faint smell of his cologne still stuck to him, and you happily buried your face in his neck before pressing a soft kiss against his skin.

“Sometimes,” his voice vibrated in his chest, and although you went to move, he kept his hold on you. So you relaxed into him, and he continued, “I think about when we got together.”

“Mmhm?”

“I was dealing with a lot,” he said, lowering his voice. “Fuck, you know how many problems I had, and...” He paused for a moment, nuzzling his face into your hair just for a second. “And I’m glad I got help.” He corrected himself barely a second later, “I’m getting help.” When you didn’t respond, he continued on, “I’m glad it’s working.” 

“I am, too,” you admitted against his skin, and he hummed in acknowledgement. “I’m glad you’re here.”

He ran a hand up and down your back, and the motion soothed you slightly. “I was scared I was depending on you entirely,” he shut his eyes. “I thought that if you weren’t here, I couldn’t be happy. But... I got better,” he said. “I’m better. I have... friends,” he said after a moment of hesitation. “I’m writing. I’m not fucking paranoid all the time. But...” He drew away from you, hands reaching up to cup your face, smushing your face slightly. “I do have you. I’m glad you stayed.”

“Someone’s sappy tonight,” you pulled a hand away. “I’m glad you stayed, too.” 

“Sometimes I think I don’t deserve you,” he said, and the air grew tense for a moment. He... wasn’t being sappy, he was being honest. “But, I think... I think now I’ve learned that even with my bullshit, I... I think I deserve good things, sometimes.”

“You do,” you reached up to trail a thumb along the apple of his cheek. “Just because you fucked up and got angry at people and dealt with a lot doesn’t mean you’re not worth loving.”

He chuckled, and he said your name gently. “No wonder you’re trying to become a therapist.”

You leaned forward, pressing your forehead against his own for a moment. “I wanna help people,” you said. “I wanna help teenagers like you who needed it. I didn’t give up on you then, and I don’t want to give up on my future patients.”

“Even if you’re not what they need?”

“Especially if I’m not what they need,” you said. “I’ll find them someone else. Just because I can’t help them wouldn’t mean that I can’t help them find someone who can.”

There was softness in his eyes as he kissed you gently. No more scent of cigarettes and the taste of smoke (he’d given that up long ago, just so he could have longer with you), but he still held the same warmth he did the first time you kissed. “I love you.”

So you settled into his arms after giving him one last kiss. “I love you, too, Connor.”

-

So... I’d like to take a moment to talk, since, uh, it feels right to. 

I started writing musical reader inserts back in 2017, shortly after my 17th birthday, and the first one I wrote was a Connor Murphy fic titled “Promise.” Which... is why I feel that this is a fitting ending for my writing. I don’t remember the last fic I wrote for this blog, but I never felt completely satisfied in saying “I’m done writing reader fics for musicals” since... nothing felt like an ending. 

Of course, I’ll still sorta be lingering around this blog if anyone wants to DM me or send in an ask, but I’m not gonna write anymore. I sorta stopped once I got to college since I didn’t exactly have the time to do it as often anymore (and I sorta lost interest in writing for musicals, actually, since I do write elsewhere sometimes), but... that’s beside the point.

A... lot has happened since I posted that first fic. I dated someone for the first time, ended things with them, and then I fucked up majorly with some things that happened afterward. I’m still atoning for it, and maybe I never will fully do so, but it’s one of my deepest regrets. Of course, I’ve... learned I’m not the only person at fault in the situation (more like I was manipulated, but I’m not going to deny my own part there), but I think coming to the realization that I wasn’t alone there... helped. I lost a few friends, and I kept everyone else for the most part. For a really, really long time, I always wondered why. I had fucked up so majorly, I couldn’t comprehend why my friends stayed with me.

And... It’s because we love each other. I fucked up, sure, but... they knew who I was as a person. These people didn’t abandon me because they saw me for who I am. I explained what happened, I showed anger and frustration and melancholy for everything that I (and the other person at fault) had done, and... they weren’t going to cast me out in my hour of need. I had made the group chat we all met in, and I tried to take an interest in everyone as best as I could. I became a different person when I was with my ex, and... and I never want to be that person ever again. I was petty, and spiteful, and when I look at who I became, I realize that I’d been changed for the worst. I like to think I’ve gotten better, and maybe that’s because of the stupid fucking trauma making me realize my place. 

But... I love my friends. I love them so, so much. I don’t think I’d still be here if it weren’t for them. It’s been a pretty wild ride, and I’ve written so much for these fandoms (although admittedly not in recent years) but... I’m proud of what I have done. I love writing so, so much, and it’s always going to be a part of who I am, no matter what route I end up taking. While I can look back on some of my writing and laugh because it’s cringe-y and clumsy and I’ve definitely improved, it’s still something I did. 

Even if this post doesn’t get a single note, I’m... still proud of what I’ve done and how far I’ve come, and I thank anyone reading this for coming with me on this journey. Please, take care of yourselves. Be kind. It’s okay to have bad days: even flowers need a little rain to grow. 

But most importantly: love yourself and love the people that want you to be better. 

Thanks, gamers. Feel free to hit me up anytime.

~ Minerva “Minni” @mango-juiiice

[mysterytickingegos]

At Least We Have Us

Pairing(s): Darkiplier x Platonic!reader

Genre: Angsty with a fluffy end.

Word Count: 1,771

Summary: Strange things happened to those who didn’t leave that dreadful manor in time, and you were one of those people. Becoming something not quite human took some time to get used to, but at least you weren’t alone.

Anonymous Request: Platonic Dark with a soft Y/N that's basically very motherly of him despite being much younger? She cares a lot about him and looks up to him. Maybe she's his assistant and also experienced the events of WKM and Dark basically adopted her after that? Post-WKM please! I need Dark being a wise and over protective big brother rn Thank youuuu

Authors Note: I loved working on this one! It was a fun concept, thank you so much for the request!

Want to read more?

[Image Description: A gif of Mark from a vlog video giving a thumbs up to the camera, it has been edited to be gray with Darkipliers afterimages and colors, red and blue.]

Dark...That was such a strange name to call him, at first.

Damien had been a family friend. He was your neighbor, and your best friend’s uncle. When you were a teenager he was a respected member of the local government, a man who hid away in a study and worked far too hard. Eventually with enough pushing from Ophelia, he was your boss, having given you an internship in city hall that Elli really didn’t want. You considered him a friend. Maybe not a close friend, but he was someone you trusted and respected and he would say the same about you.

You jogged up the stairs to the office, dodging past people while muttering quick apologies to anyone who had something to say about it. When you got there, you heard the laughter of your friend through the door and cracked it open. Ophelia was desperately trying to catch her breath between giggles, of course because Damien was telling another story about your completely sophisticated soon-to-be DA. He was surprisingly relaxed, leaning back on his desk and talking with his hands quite a bit.

“But of course, that doesn’t stop them, they run down the street- Oh, Y/n please come in. You’ll want to hear this.” He gestured to the empty chair beside Elli, but when you didn’t move from the doorway, both their faces fell. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” You tilted your head at them, not realizing how you looked, pale and out of breath. “Damien, they’re done counting. You won.”

He was in shock for a few moments, only standing up a bit straighter as he processed your words. “I won? I’m...?”

“You’re going to be the Mayor.” Ophelia finished for him, just before all three of you started laughing and cheering and jumping around.

In many conversations there were moments where you would catch a glimpse of the person you used to know, and in the beginning you would get a heavy heart. You weren’t ready to let him go, to accept that he was somebody else now. Perhaps that’s because it would mean accepting you were somebody else, too.

None of the guests from that damned party left the manor the same.

You heard it so clearly, a stranger’s voice coaxing you up the stairs, quietly whispering your name over and over as you slipped away from the rowdy party. You were practically hypnotized, not thinking about who it could possibly be or their intentions as they lead you to a room that sent chills down your spine the moment you opened the door. It was a room filled with trinkets of the occult, books with terrifying symbols, and scribbles of a mad man on papers scattered all over.

“You’re not supposed to be in here.” You heard a growl from a new voice, just behind you. The person shoved you inside the room and slammed the door as you hit the ground. “In fact, I could’ve sworn this was going to be hidden from all of you.”

You stood up as quickly as you could, turning to see the host of the party scowling at you. “I wasn’t...I was just looking for Elli.” You said quickly, brushing off your clothes.

“The same Elli that told you she was going to lay down for the night a couple of hours ago?” He stepped closer, slowly, ominously.

You thought back to that conversation, spoken quietly, just the two of you on the staircase while everyone else was still playing poker. “How could you even know about that?”

Mark grinned at you, sinister and cold. He gestured around the room, to the books and trinkets. “Things aren’t as they seem here, Y/n. Ever since Celine...left me here, the things in this house had opened my mind to things I never could’ve imagined.” A short laugh bubbled out of him. “I can do anything.”

“You’ve gone mad.” You whispered, backing away. You’d heard bits and pieces of the Iplier drama from Damien, having vented his concerns to you over cups of coffee during work since the day you got your invitations. But you knew now that he had no idea.

“Perhaps they were trying to do the same for you, but I’ve come too far for some kid to screw it all up now.” He turned on his feet and left the room, shutting the door behind him. You rushed over to it, trying to twist the knob before he got a chance to lock it. But it was far too late. You banged on the door and screamed for help until your voice went hoarse, but the room had in fact been hidden away. You were surrounded by taunting spirits in a room that nobody existed, for what felt like weeks. You could feel them gnawing away at bits and pieces of you after that, an itchy feeling under your heart, changing you. Truly, time had been warped, and only one day had passed before you were found by someone who was now immune to the houses secrets and cloaks. And he didn’t say anything, but clearly something had happened to you too.

Funny thing about living forever? (Or at least as long as you have,) It’s not that great, in fact it’s actually very lonely. The world changes around you, and you don’t change that much at all. You often have to leave, not wanting the attention of being the same age after living or working somewhere for 20 or 30 years. Or you get too attached to somebody and you know you will lose them, now or later.

But you weren’t alone. Despite his anger towards Mark, how badly he wanted revenge, Dark kept very close to you. Especially after he learned what happened to his niece, he was going to keep you safe above all else. Mark learned that the hard way when he tried to silence you too, only to find an empty house and a rather cheeky note.

“Catch me if you can.”

Another funny thing, you didn’t even know the power that you had when you first wrote that. As far as you knew you were a normal girl waiting out the storm. But eventually waiting got pretty tiresome.

“How could you be so foolish?” Dark called after you as you both stormed back into the house.

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that big a deal.” You huffed, tossing your jacket away.

His image faltered and glitched at what you said. “Not a big deal? You have the gift of longevity, you are NOT impervious to bullets!”

You flopped down into the armchair, crossing your arms. “We don’t know that yet.”

“You sprained your ankle tripping on air last month, I think it’s safe to say.” For a moment you could’ve sworn he smiled. If it wasn’t at your expense, you might’ve been happy. “You wonder why I hover,”

“Someone had to step in and do something.”

“Why did it have to be you?!”

“Because!” You twisted around in the chair to face him, fighting back tears. “I’m bored! I’m sick of living like a hermit! I’m tired of these stupid towns in the middle of nowhere and never having any friends...it’s been almost a century Dark, I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

He pierced his lips, having to look away from you before he got emotional himself. “So this is your plan? Play hero until you run out of luck?”

“Or we can stop hiding. We can try and live our lives, instead of just surviving. I mean, what's the point if we’re completely miserable?”

“And what about him?”

“To hell with Mark, what about you?” Your voice was softer now. “I can work, and shop and be neighborly. But you...you’ve been stuck in the shadows, holding onto your hate all this time. Maybe you don’t believe it after everything that’s happened, but you deserve better.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “What then? Where do you want to go?”

“How about we go home?”

‘Home’ was California, LA specifically. Sure, you could’ve gone back to your hometown but you were both part of a rather famous local mystery and you agreed it was for the best to stay away.

The sun had set a little bit ago and the streets were only illuminated by signs and street lights, that was the only way he’d agree to go out into the city with you, in the dark. Fair enough, he didn’t want to attract attention to himself. Luckily, you’d made some good friends in the last few months, friends like Mike.

“Ah, bonjour!” Mike greeted cheerfully as you and Dark approached the window, before ducking into his shop to get you both a bowl of ice cream. “I was wondering if you were going to show up.”

You nudged Dark over to one of the tables and leaned in the window. “I didn’t mean for it to take so long, thanks for keeping the shop open late for us.”

“Don’t mention it. I actually have a cousin with really bad anxiety, so I get it.” He passed you two bowls with a smile.

Dark squinted at you when you came back to the table. ‘Anxiety?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t have anxiety.”

“You’re right, I should’ve told him the truth. You and your sister possessed your best friend in the 1920′s to escape a place called the upside down, but sometimes you drag bits and pieces of it into the real world and that would probably scare the locals in broad daylight.” You didn’t miss a beat in your little rant, scooping some ice cream into your mouth as soon as you were done.

He chuckled and shook his head at you. “I’m supposed to be the one lecturing you on being subtle.”

“Hey, I’m the one who’s been covering for us the past 91 years. It’s your turn to follow my lead.” You said matter-of-factly, pointing your spoon at him, before you dove back into your bowl. You missed the ‘fair-enough’ nod he gave you and the pride written all over his face, another glimpse of someone you used to know. “You know, maybe you should bring you-know-who here someday.”

His eyes went wide and he shook your words off just a little too quickly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So you don’t have a thing for his new friend that you’re watching out for?”

“Stop it. Stop it right now.”

“Fine,” You put your hands up in mock surrender, “But you know I’m right.”

[flooffybits]

Nothing To Worry About

Idol: Jeon Heejin (Loona)

Anon: been on a hunt for fluffs so maybe a simple heejin scenario where s/o is insecure about how she thinks she's so out of heejin's league because she's a celebrity and heejin assures her she has nothing to be insecure about by going on a date? take your time writing this cuz i know you have a lot of requests rn 🥺

A/n: I love Heejin so much and this just makes me soft

☕buy me a coffee☕

You watched silently as your girlfriend messed around and spoke with her members, joking and laughing as they did whatever it was they usually did at the dorm.

You’ve been a frequent visitor and someone the girls have basically adopted you into their chaotic little family. And in Haseul’s words “since you’re dating one of her babies, you are her baby as well”. You weren’t really given a chance to decline, but it wasn’t a bad thing either because they all made you feel welcome and included.

When you and Heejin had gotten into a bit of a disagreement, the girls were quick to check in on you when they noticed how you haven’t visited them in a while or how your conversations were always cut so short with the same excuse of “I’m busy” or “I’m just tired”. Hyunjin and Sooyoung were able to get it out of their member and they were able to help resolve your little argument, rejoicing and cooing when Heejin was soon curled in your lap and clinging to you.

It was nice, but it didn’t stop the whispers of insecurity you received whenever you thought of your relationship.

Heejin is an idol, beautiful and talented, and you were sure she had various people who were begging to have her attention.

It just so happened that she was stuck with you.

The far away look on your face catches Chaewon’s attention before she nudges your girlfriend’s shoulder. When she looks over, the blonde subtly gestures in your direction and Heejin blinks before cocking her head to the side. “What’s wrong with Y/n?”

But even she’s confused by your expression that she stands up and excuses herself. “I’m just going to talk to her.” She says quietly before she was walking over to your side and then showing you one of the smiles she’s reserved for you.

“Hey, is everything alright? You look troubled.” She reaches for your hand and you let her, sighing when you place your head on her shoulder and stare at your joined hands. “I mean, yeah, but I’ve just been thinking.” You tell her when she rubs the side of your thumb with her own.

Seeing that you would be needing some privacy, the rest of those who were present silently left the room to give you some space to talk and Heejin silently thanked her friends for doing so.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” You nod reluctantly, and it’s enough to make her worry as she cups your face and looks into your eyes. “Hey, I love you, remember? Whatever it is, I’ll be here for you.” She assures you and you let out a sigh before nodding your head once more.

“I just wonder if this really is okay with you.” You mutter while tearing your eyes away from hers. “You and the girls are slowly getting popular and, well, I’m just a nobody. You could be dating anyone out there who can give you much more, someone who could be better than-”

“Hey, no. Don’t say that.” She cuts you off with a gentle shake of her head. Her thumb caresses your cheek as she gazes deep into your eyes. “I’m with you because of who you are not what you can do or give me. You don’t have to have a big name to be enough for me.”

“But-”

Again, she cuts you off but with a kiss on your lips this time around. When she pulls back, she gives you a tiny smile. “Y/n, the way you take care of me, the way you love me, that is more than enough for me. You wait for me, days on end just to see me, and there are times that we aren’t even sure we can meet but you wait for me anyway.” She whispers while tucking your hair behind your ear. “There’s no one else better for me. You’re it, and there’s no changing that.”

You could feel your eyes stinging with unshed tears at her words. Though you had gotten used to hearing those empty promises from past relationships, the way she says them gave you a completely different feeling from all the other times you heard it.

Heejin showed and assured you that she meant it.

Unlike all the other times where not an ounce of your doubt had disappeared, the way she looked at you and the way she spoke had wiped away the heavy burden and worry that constantly clung on your shoulders, giving you a chance to finally breathe without fear.

“Sorry to disappoint, but you’re stuck with me.” She says with a playful chuckle, but seeing that you couldn’t formulate any words, her expression softened before she started to tug at your hand and rose to her feet.

“Come on. I think I know what will make you feel better.” She knows that you aren’t exactly feeling down, not with the look of wonderment swimming in your eyes when you looked at her, but that didn’t change the fact that she wanted to go out and do something with you.

Blinking back tears, you followed her lead and stood up to head out of the dorm. Heejin wore a bright smile on her face as she looked at you before pecking your cheek. “Y/n and I are going out!” She informs her members, though she knows that they’ve figured that part already when they saw how the two of you were when they left you alone.

“Stay safe and don’t stay out too late!” Haseul calls out after you that it makes both of you giggle when you shut the door behind you.

“Now, where does my baby want to go?” She makes it a point in emphasizing the word “my” and you know that the smiles on your faces wouldn’t be leaving your faces any time soon.

“Would a trip down memory lane be too boring?” You ask and her face brightens up more, if that were possible, because she starts bouncing when she pulls you away from the dorm and towards the path you often took when you first started dating.

“I think it’ll be anything but boring. I am going to be with you after all.”

And with your hands laced together, you revisit every place you could both think of visiting and Heejin makes sure to bring up a certain memory for each place, telling you how she’s fallen for you at that moment before and how she’s fallen deeper in love with you now.

“It’s been years, but it’s still the same place.” She murmurs while you watch the sun slowly set into the horizon. “A different time, but still the same place, same people.” She turns to you with a gentle smile, squeezing your hand as you mirror her expression.

“Same people, but just a little bit deeper in love.”

[tuanyiems]

Champagne Truffles

Yugyeom x Reader (f) It’s a little angsty at the start oops but still this is a fluffy one, it’s me after all words: 4k plot: it’s your anniversary date night and he’s determined to make this a night you’ll never forget, established relationship!au a/n – Forgive this unedited piece, it’s 3am rn lulz I spent too much time gushing over got7 I had to take out the smut content to make the deadline lol but anyways, make sure to stream Last Piece as you’re reading!!! And this concludes my November of posting exclusively for Yugyeom! (It still counts as November if I haven’t slept yet!) And what a beautiful month it was! Thank you for following me on this Chocolatier journey, I’m sure these two will show up again in a drabble or two in the future. But until, please enjoy and give got7’s new album a listen if you haven’t already. It truly is another masterpiece album c’: // part of Le Chocolatier drabble series, which you can find the masterlist for in my blog. feel free to read this as a one-shot or part of the series, in any order you want <3

“So, how was work today?” you start, climbing into bed where Yugyeom is already tucked in and scrolling on his phone. The bright light illuminates his face, and you pause, admiring his profile as you wait for him to answer.

But Yugyeom only shrugs, not even bothering to look at you. You grab your own phone from your nightstand, twisting it awkwardly around in your hands as you think of something else to say.

“It’s getting colder these days, isn’t it?” you ask softly, staring down at your phone as you flip it once more and watch it light up to a picture of you and Yugyeom at a carnival. It was one of those summertime, pop-up fairs. Yugyeom had convinced you to call in sick and the two of you made a trip an hour out from the city to play like two teenagers in love. 

Your lips twist as you press your thumb into the screen where Yugyeom is holding your hand in his. Even when your hands were getting clammy from the summer heat and the nerves of waiting in line for the pirate ship, he had refused to let go. 

“Nice try,” he had scoffed, before lifting his hand to kiss the back of yours. “If I let you go for even a second, you’ll definitely find a way to hurt yourself.”

You rolled your eyes, “You’re so protective for the weirdest things.”

“Weird? Who was the one who fractured their wrist while bowling?”

You looked away, pretending not to hear.

“And who’s the girl who got a concussion while walking in a department store, hmm?”

“Hey! That time wasn’t my fault!” you pouted, allowing yourself to be tugged along as the line moved up. “Who puts such heavy items on the top shelf anyways?”

“But what normal person climbs the shelves?!”

“An! Independent! Woman!” You defended, slapping his chest with your free hand with each word.

He only laughed, eyes shining down on you. “You could’ve called for help, or oh I don’t know, asked your boyfriend to get it for you? I mean, what else is my height good for?”

“Eye candy, of course!”

“I’m just a piece of meat to you, aren’t I?” he joked, bumping you by the hip before quickly pulling you back into his chest.

You giggled, “Oh course not, babe. I’m obviously using you for our future offspring too. It’s my gracious consideration for future generations.”

“Future offspring?” Yugyeom’s cheeks blushed a rosy hue and as soon as you noticed, you followed suit.

“I mean! Uh-well…if…” you sucked in a breath, forcing your heart to calm. “Anyways, if they end up inheriting your height and my butterfingers, it’ll end up being a disservice to society actually.”

He chuckled, hand squeezing yours. “Probably,” he mused softly, cheeks still warm with daydreams.

When you turn your phone again, the screen flickers awake and there is his blushing face again, eyes twinkling with thoughts of the future…or, that’s what you always thought he was imagining when you look at this photo, but maybe you were just being delusional. It could’ve just been the summer heat making him flush.

The Yugyeom from that memory and the one sitting next to you feel like completely different people. You don’t understand what happened, only a few months had passed since that day. At first, you had summed up his quiet behavior to the changing season. It’s not like Yugyeom had never been quiet or moody before, but never has he iced you out like this for so long.

It makes you nervous actually. In two days, it’ll be your three-year anniversary. This is supposed to be a good thing of course, but in the back of your mind sits the nervous belief that something bad will happen on that day.

None of your previous relationships have ever lasted longer than a year. You and Yugyeom were always so stable that you never thought this would be a problem, but his sudden changes have made you more superstitious. 

“Baby?” you utter softly, touching his wrist to put his phone down. He looks over but doesn’t say a word. “Um, I was wondering how you wanted to spend this Saturday? We haven’t really talked about it, so…”

Your voice trails. He looks at you almost fiercely, a slight frown on his lips.

You swallow. “Not that we have to do anything. Maybe we could just have a quiet day inside. We can marathon that anime you really like! What was the name again? With the cute pig?”

“Seven Deadly Sins,” he answers, looking back at his phone.

“Yeah, that one!” you say, voice much brighter than how you feel. “But…I was just suggesting. We can do what you want to do. Did you have something in mind? Food you’re craving?”

Yugyeom sighs, turning on his side to turn the lamp off. “It’s late, babe, let’s decide later.”

“Oh, okay.”

In the darkness, your worries fester though.

“Baby?” you whisper cautiously. Quietly, you curl against his back, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Goodnight, Gyeom.”

A moment passes before he twists in your arms and pulls you to his chest. You smile, looking up even though you can barely make out his features in the darkness.

“Night baby, I love you,” he presses a kiss to your forehead, and you find yourself relaxing in his arms.

That night you fall into a sleep so good, you end up missing your alarm.

Rushing around the apartment in only a forest green blouse and your nude hip huggers, you unpack your purse for the fifth time that morning.

“Babe, have you seen my charger?” You yell from the bedroom.

“It’s not in your purse?” Yugyeom calls from inside the bathroom.

You huff, throwing the items haphazardly back into your bag. “No!”

“Just take mines!”

“Thank you!”

Rounding the bed, you make your way to Yugyeom’s nightstand. Unlike your own though, his drawer is a disorganized mess. You furrow your brows, shifting through the old mail and random trinkets.

“How does he find anything in here?” you mutter, stuffing your hand to the back and hoping the wire was buried somewhere there.

“Y/N!” Yugyeoms voice booms from behind you. You jump in surprise. “Why are you going through my drawer?”

He snatches your hand out and slams his drawer shut.

“I-” You try to blink back your surprise. “I was just looking for the charger.”

He let out an exasperated sigh, bending behind the nightstand, and pulls the wire out.

“Here,” he tosses it into your hand before walking to your shared closet. “And don’t go through my things.”

Gaze on his back, you place the charger into your purse meekly. Grabbing your cream trousers from the bed, you quietly step into them as Yugyeom gets dressed too.

“Sorry,” you mumble when he finally turns to you.

He lets out a sigh, threading his fingers between yours. His thumb rubs over your hand gently. “I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to yell.”

-

“Jackson,” you slide on your rolling chair towards your cubicle buddy, cup of hot chocolate between both palms.

“Uh oh,” Jackson looks at you once before twisting dramatically in his chair. “You’ve got the frowny face!”

“Frowny face?” Jinyoung pokes his head into your cubicle. Seeing your expression, he immediately walks into your cubicle, leaning onto Jackson’s desk. “Who do we need to hurt?”

“No one,” you sulk, stirring your drink. “I just had a question.”

“It was Susan, wasn’t it? I hate her,” Jinyoung scoffs, crossing his arms. Jackson chuckles, nudging him to stop.

“No, I was just wondering,” you pause, looking at your cream flats. “What are some signs when a guy no longer loves you?”

“I’m going to kill Yugyeom.”

“Why is murder always your go-to?” Jackson jokes, trying to lighten the mood. “It can’t be that bad, the last time I saw Yugyeom he was madly in love with you!”

“I just…I don’t know…it’s a feeling,” you frown, gut twisting as you’re speaking the words aloud. “It’s probably nothing.”

“Well, what signs have you been getting from Yugyeom?” Jinyoung asks.

“He’s just gotten quieter in the last couple of months. Sometimes it feels like he’s hiding something from me. Like last night, he was mostly on his phone even though I was trying to talk to him.”

“On his phone doing what?”

You tilt your head, shrugging. “I don’t know, Instagram? Twitter? But that’s not the point.”

“Wait, Instagram or Twitter, Y/N? Was he scrolling through news or was he sliding into DMs? These are important details,” Jinyoung interrupts. Both you and Jackson look at him with wide eyes.

You feel your heart jump to your throat. “Y-you think…maybe, he’s c-cheating on me?”

That thought had never even occurred to you as a possibility but now that you hear it…Your vision starts to blur.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N!” Jackson slaps Jinyoung’s thigh, pushing him away as he hurries to put an arm over your shoulder. “Jinyoung was just asking stupid questions. Yugyeom’s not that kind of guy.”

“But what if he’s right?” you mumble. “This morning I was looking in his drawer to borrow his charger and he yelled at me for going through his things. He’s never done that before! And every time I ask about his day, he won’t really tell me anything.”

You sniffle, rushing to wipe your falling tears.

“Don’t cry, Y/N,” Jinyoung pats your hand softly. “You’re probably just spiraling right now. I don’t know Yugyeom the way you do. He was probably just scrolling through pictures of tattoo art or something.”

“But he’s so handsome and amazing, he could have any girl he wants. What if he’s found someone better? Someone who doesn’t burn toast or, or-”

“Hey,” Jackson squeezes your arm with a frown. “We don’t tolerate that kind of talk in this house.”

“House?” Jinyoung chuckles.

“Our cubicle home!” Jackson clarifies, making you smile.

“Ah, I see a smile,” Jinyoung announces, making your lips stretch wider.

“My makeup is running, isn’t it?” you laugh weakly.

“Yeah, you’re a mess,” Jinyoung teases.

“Good time to ask Susan for an early weekend,” Jackson nudges you playfully.

“Yeah, leave early and go have a real conversation with Yugyeom about how you’re feeling. No use in holding things in if it’s just going to make you cry anyways.”

“Someone’s crying?” Susan, your project manager, pokes her head into your cubicle. When she sees your state, she gasps. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”

“I’m okay,” you flush with embarrassment.

“Nonsense, you should let her start the weekend early, Susan,” Jinyoung states before smiling at her sweetly. “And as her favorite co-workers, you should let us join her!”

“Nice try, Jinyoung,” she laughs goodheartedly, before turning to you. “You two have to stay, but Y/N, you’re free to go. Come back Monday, feeling better, okay?”

She sends you a wink before striding off.

“I hate her so much,” Jinyoung grumbles.

“You gotta stop lying to yourself, man,” Jackson laughs. He turns to you and pulls you into a hug. “Go and talk to him, Y/N. The longer you wait it out, the longer you’ll just be running circles in your head.”

You nod, convinced. “Alright, I’ll do that. Thanks guys.”

“Call me if you need a hitman!” Jinyoung calls as you rush out of the cubicle.

-

“Hey, why are you calling at this hour?”

“I just missed you,” you hum into the phone, as you walk down the familiar sidewalk towards your favorite chocolate store. “How’s work?”

“Um, actually,” there’s a pause on the other line before he continues, “It’s kind of busy. Probably be home late today.”

“Oh, okay,” you put on a tone of disappointment as you round the corner to the store. You snicker to yourself. Maybe surprising him at work and helping him with the shop will pick his mood up.

“Yeah, sorry, but you know this time of year. People like to eat chocolates.”

You smile to yourself, slowing your step as you reach the storefront. “Yeah, I know. It’s how I met you.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” you chuckle.

“Anyways, I really have to go now.”

“O-” You freeze, staring into the window of the chocolate store. “Okay.”

“Bye,” Yugyeom doesn’t wait for you to reply before he cuts off the line. You barely register the dead phone line though. You gulp, watching as your best friend, Jenny, pulls Yugyeom into a tight hug between the counter. In her arms, he smiles with full cheeks.

Stepping back, you cross the street in a rush, collapsing into a seat outside the French café across from Yugyeom’s store before your legs give out entirely. 

This doesn’t make sense. While Jenny was one of your closest friends, she and Yugyeom weren’t especially close. This was partially due to the fact that Jenny lives in another city two hours away from yours. Yugyeom has never expressed any interest in spending time with your friends unless you were with him, and so things just don’t add up.

Jenny never sent you a text that she’d be in town, especially on a Friday. Just as you’re about to go through the text messages in your phone just in case, you see the door of the chocolate store open and out walks Yugyeom and Jenny. They’re so deep in their own conversation, they don’t even glance at you, right across the street from them.

You take in a breath, shaking your head. This just doesn’t make sense. Getting up again, you make your way down the street, watching them from across. Maybe Jenny needed a special order of chocolates. Was there a birthday you were forgetting?

You stop in your tracks, watching as Jenny practically jumping with excitement alongside Yugyeom. She must’ve said something funny, because he tilts his head back, mouth open wide, the same way he always laughs at you when you make a stupid joke.

Shaking your head again, you continue your steps. No, Jenny is a trusted friend. You’ve known her since high school. But the longer you follow, the more your stomach starts to hurt. It’s exactly because you’ve known Jenny for so long that you know she would never be this animated with your boyfriend.

Your chest hurt at just the thought, but you can’t help it from echoing in your brain. That the two of them look too comfortable—like they’ve been meeting for a while. 

Biting your lip hard, you stop in your tracks again and force yourself to turn around. No, this just didn’t add up. And you didn’t want to trail after them like some kind of stalker.

You trust Yugyeom and you trust Jenny.

Hailing the nearest cab, you enter with a huff. It was like Jinyoung said, you were probably just spiraling.

-

“I’m home,” Yugyeom calls softly as he enters the house. You freeze in your seat at the kitchen table, despite having sat there for three hours for this very moment.

“Hey,” Yugyeom peeks his head into the kitchen, looking at you with furrowed eyes. “What are you doing just sitting here by yourself?”

You chuckle dryly, trying to shake off your nerves. “Oh, I guess I was just spacing out.”

He smiles at you before sitting down in the chair across from you. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s okay,” you lie. “How was work?”

“It was fine. Busy as usual,” Yugyeom shrugs. “What did you have for dinner?”

“I made pasta. There’s leftovers in the fridge for you.”

“It’s okay, I’m stuffed already.”

“Oh? You ate?”

Yugyeom’s eyes grow wide before he is blinking away, running his fingers through his hair. “Uh, yeah, um…Bambam, he bought me dinner.”

“That was nice of him,” you mumble. You breathe loudly, trying to keep yourself collected despite feeling like you were going to vomit with each second that passes.

He chuckles before raising his voice abruptly. “Anyways! Let’s talk about tomorrow!”

“Tomorrow? Did you have something in mind?” your chest jolts with hope.

“Actually, I was thinking you could have a girl’s day with Jenny! And then we could do something in the evening.”

“Jenny’s in town?” you watch him closely, noticing the way he licks at his lips and swallows.

“Oh! Yeah! I uh, I heard it from Bam. He must’ve seen a story update from her or something.”

You dig your nail into the cuticle bed of your thumbs as you listen to him lie straight to your face.

“Jenny didn’t text me though. She probably has something else going on this weekend.”

“Nope!” Yugyeom whips, smiling far too big for this conversation. “I messaged her about tomorrow already.”

“So, you want me to hang out with Jenny…on our anniversary?” You question slowly.

Yugyeom looks away, his ears flushed. He brushes at your hand. “Yeah, you two should catch up, get your nails done or something. You should really stop doing this to your nails.”

You look to your hands, your nail beds raw.

“I’m tired,” you mutter, getting up from your seat first. “I’m gonna go to bed first.”

“Oh, okay…well, just remember, you and Jenny at noon!”

You don’t answer.

-

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Jenny turns to you with concern as the nail technician keeps her right hand hostage. “Is something bothering you?”

“Why are you in town again?” you ask, eyes concentrated on the deep red shade that your nail tech paints onto your fingernails.

“Oh!” In your peripheral, you can see her noticeably jolt. “I came for a conference on Friday and when Yugyeom reached out to me I decided to stay for the weekend.”

“A conference, huh?”

“Yeah,” she mumbles, turning back to her technician. “You know how much the beauty industry loves their conventions.”

“Must’ve been draining.”

“Yeah, totally. That’s why I didn’t text you I was in town. I was completely exhausted by the end of it that I completely forgot.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Mhm,” she turns back to you. “You should add a gold accent. Gold accent, please!”

Your nail tech nods, bringing out another tray of gold embellishment from underneath her desk. You turn your head, hearing the click of Jenny’s nails on the screen of her phone. There’s a bright smile on her face and it makes you want to burst into tears on the spot.

At first you thought maybe the two of them planned for Jenny to reveal the truth to you. You didn’t think Yugyeom was a coward but lately, none of the things you thought before make sense anymore. However, after hours spent with Jenny, all you’ve managed was getting prettier nails and lots of lies from who you thought was your best friend.

“Gorgeous,” Jenny coos, leaning in to admire your fingers. 

“Yeah,” you murmur half-heartedly, feeling your spirit fully deplete.

No confession comes. No explanation. When evening comes, Jenny sends you right back home. Your walk up to the apartment is slow. This is it, isn’t it? Gyeom needed time to prepare himself to break up with you. It’s why he didn’t want to be with you for your anniversary. 

Your stomach sinks when you get to your door. Was this your last time ever entering? Where were you going to move to? 

As the familiar tone of the keypad rings in your ear, hot tears prick at your eyes. Stepping into the house, your vision blurs as you step through the hallway and into the kitchen. Yugyeom is standing at the stove when he turns to you with a smile.

“You’re back!” he greets you. When you hear his laughter, tears spill down your cheeks. “Crying already, babe? You haven’t even tasted it.”

Hiccupping, you try to calm yourself but the more you try to contain the tears, the more your chest fills with fear and floods you. You cry even harder, a terrible wail leaving your throat.

The sound of tin crashes onto the floor and quickly, you are enveloped in Yugyeom’s warmth. The feeling only makes you more sick and you bury your face into his chest, crying harder. Your last embrace. Your last time being comforted by him. The thoughts send sharp pains straight to your chest.

Yugyeom holds you tight against him, taking the impact of your shaking body to his chest. “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you hurt somewhere?”

It’s a long time before you feel calm enough to stand on your own. When you finally do, stepping back from his arms, you feel yourself tearing up again from seeing the concern on his face.

“What happened?” he whispers, fingers reaching out for yours. 

You pull away though, taking another step back.

“Yugyeom,” your voice comes out shaky but determined. “Are we breaking up?”

Tears spill again.

Yugyeom looks at you with a shocked expression. “What? Where is this coming from?”

“You don’t love me anymore,” you cry.

“Of course I do! What are you talking about?” 

“Then why did you lie to me?” You look at him sharply, gaze severe despite the shine of tears. He doesn’t say anything, and the silence breaks your heart.

Lips quivering, you sit down at the kitchen table. “You lied to me. Jenny lied to me…H-how long? How long have you been doing this?”

“Baby,” Yugyeom whispers, bending to the floor. He rests his hands on your thighs, looking up at you and there are tears in his eyes two. “Baby…baby, you’ve got this all wrong.”

“Even if it’s not Jenny, it’s still not me, is it?” you whimper, tears spilling down your chin. They splatter on the back of his hands. “You don’t talk to me anymore. You don’t want to share anything with me. Not even stories about your day.”

Tears run down Yugyeom’s cheeks as he presses a kiss to your knee.

“No, no, baby, you’re wrong.”

You sniff, cupping your palm to his wet cheek. “I want to be wrong. Please prove me wrong, Gyeom.”

“I was trying to keep it a secret,” he scoffs to himself, shaking his head. “I was planning this for months.”

“Planning?”

“I was so afraid I’d accidentally let it slip, or that you’d find it.”

You frown, brows furrowing in confusion now. “Find what, Gyeom?”

Yugyeom takes in a deep breath, breaking into a gentle smile as he glances down at the kitchen floor. Following his gaze, you realize he had dropped a tray of chocolates earlier.

“Chocolates?”

“Champagne Truffles,” he tells you, reaching down to grab one.

“You…you made a new recipe?”

Yugyeom lets out a loud sigh. “Good thing I marked it.”

You look at him, bewildered. He chuckles softly, turning to you again.

“I’m not going to break up with you, baby,” he laughs, digging his thumb into the spine of the chocolate until it bursts with a pop. “I’m trying to spend my whole life with you.”

Your hands to fly to your mouth in surprise as a fresh wave of tears spring to your eyes. He drops the chocolate shell to the floor, holding onto the shining gold band with shaking hands.

“Every day since meeting you,” his voice breaks and you cry, hands coming to cup his face as tears run down his cheeks too. “I thought I had a good life, and then I met you…And then I realized, I was missing everything before you came into my life.”

“Gyeom,”

He sniffs, breaking into a smile as more tears fall from his eyes. “Baby, you’re my everything. You’re the first person I want to tell anything to. You don’t know how hard it’s been trying to keep this from you.”

You laugh with him, “And Jenny.”

He nods. “She was helping me pick out the ring, plan the event, pick the flowers.”

You grin, pressing your forehead to his. “You bought me flowers!”

He laughs, nose brushing softly against yours. “Yeah, and a ring too…if you want it.”

“I do, I do, I do,” you giggle against him as your tears wet his cheek. 

He chuckles, breath ghosting your lips.

“Not yet, baby, that one’s for the wedding,” he chuckles and you laugh with him.

“Either way, it’s I do.”

[padfootagain]

The King And You (XII)

Part 12 : Heaven Sometimes

 Hi everyone! I'm back with a new chapter for this fic of mine! I know it's been forever since I updated it (and any fic for that matter) but my mental health is not great rn, so I'm struggling a little to write. Now, that being said, here is a new chapter and I hope you will enjoy it :)

Only fluff for this one! Tooth-rooting fluff all over the place! Enjoy ;)

Pairing: Caspian x Reader

Word Count: 2534

The light was perfect. One of the reasons why you loved your flat was the view from your window, down onto the busy streets and, in the distance, the skyscrapers tickling the sky. And this afternoon more than ever before the light that came in from your window was perfect. Yellowish and yet bright. Charged in dust just enough to create rays falling onto glistening rooftops. The sky still blue was starting to turn orange around the edges, a line along the horizon that became golden.

You let out a satisfied sigh as you mixed the pigments and the oil with a brush, studying the painting you had started a couple of hours before. You still had some work to do, but the shapes were beginning to change into what you wanted to represent, the buildings now for the most part recognizable by anyone who would look by your window.

A record was playing in your living room, an old hippie music filled with soft guitar ballads that breathed of sunshine and spoke of love. Soft, calm, sunny. The music felt like the light bathing the city that afternoon. And from time to time, the soft rhythms were disturbed by shuffling sounds coming from the couch behind you.

Caspian was sitting on your sofa, he was reading one of your books he had picked up from your shelf. But he didn't seem very interested in the story, as he spent most of his afternoon watching you.

The way you moved your pencil across the canvas, and the little frown that settled upon your brow as you focused on your task, the hues staining your fingers and your old t-shirt as you made a mess, the way the light danced across your features and changed the colour of your eyes as time ran by… Yes, his view from the sofa was much more interesting to him than the piece of fiction he had selected from your collection. A dreamy smile brightened his features as he studied you, as if he were in a museum admiring an ancient statue. Not only through your beauty was he reminded of the feeling, but by the peaceful feeling that settled across his chest too. This soft and quiet peace of mind and heart that creeps through anyone who looks at a piece of art and can't look away, wondering whose hands had carved the stone to create them, or bathed the brushes in the right hues. There is a ceremonial, almost holy feeling that hovers over art pieces of that kind, a sort of respect that both draws you in and pushes you away from their world. Caspian felt exactly this way as he stared at you, like he had found the piece that moved him to his bones and yet that was unreachable, a kind of beauty he longed for and echoed through his soul, and yet he would never deserve.

You knew he was staring at you, and had it been anyone else, you would have felt extremely uncomfortable if subjected to such scrutiny, but coming from Caspian, it merely brought warmth to your cheeks.

None of you were talking, hadn't uttered a word since lunch over four hours ago, but none of you were bothered by the silence that filled the room. It was a soft kind of silence, the comfortable one that could only appear in a room filled with people in love. Affection sometimes makes even nothingness beautiful.

A few days had passed since your confession in the park, and a few more remained before you would both travel to London, but the journey ahead of you was for now out of your thoughts. For now, all that mattered to both of you was to spend as much time as you could together. To the excitement and happiness that came along a new relationship slowly coming into blossom was added the knowledge that, no matter how happy the two of you were and how right being together felt, Caspian would soon be gone. Your days together being counted, you didn't want to waste away the time you had left together by worrying. Instead, you chose to live your love for him day by day, you would take whatever the wind would blow your way in the end. For now though, you painted the street you had drawn a thousand times before with a new softness showing in every shade you chose and every stroke of the brush that you applied. Love has a way of making art better, after all.

Caspian seemed to have chosen the same path as you, and had not mentioned again the trip to London, nor what would happen there. You were both locked in a bubble that you knew would explode soon, but protected you for now.

Eventually though, Caspian stood up and walked over to your spot in the room, wrapping his arms around your frame to press your back to his chest. He kissed gently the top of your head, before resting his cheek right above your ear. His gesture made you chuckle, a grin appearing across your lips.

"Do you need something? Or are you just being clingy?" you asked with a playful giggle.

"I guess I am clingy," Caspian admitted with a chuckle of his own that made his chest vibrate against you.

"You're a hopeless romantic, that's not surprising," you teased.

"Maybe I am. Or maybe you are turning me into one. Although, I should point out that so far, you have not protested against this part of me in the slightest, and have rather encouraged it, in fact."

"What are you insinuating? That I'm as sappy as you?"

"I'm afraid so, my love."

You hummed contently, forgetting about the subject of the conversation completely as you settled more comfortably into his embrace.

"I like it when you call me like that."

"My love?"

"Hmmm… yeah, I love it."

Caspian chuckled, kissing your temple.

"Who is being a hopeless romantic now, huh?"

"Oh, shut up!"

Caspian tried to fake outrage, but could only smile instead.

You checked your watch, for the first time in this afternoon, realizing at last that time had been flying by faster than you had realized. You heaved a sigh, but put down your brush.

"I'm gonna prepare dinner, what would you like?" you asked Caspian, who tightened his hold on you as a response.

"Wait for a little longer."

"Aren't you hungry? It's quite late."

"Yes, I am. But… If you move away, it will mean that the afternoon is over and… this moment is too nice to end just yet."

You rested your hand on his over your shoulder, intertwining your fingers with his and drawing silly patterns of stars and circles over his knuckles with your thumb.

"You're right. Five more minutes, then."

You closed your eyes, and were quite certain that you had fallen asleep when Caspian moved away from you, although not without placing one last chaste and tender kiss on the side of your head. He walked over to your shelves filled with books, and seemed to be bruising across your collection. You guessed that the one he had picked earlier really wasn't to his taste, and the thought made you chuckle as you shook tenderly your head at him. You left him to his search for a better story to get lost into in favour of preparing a meal, your stomach now painful with hunger. You were almost done when Caspian came to join you in the kitchen, helping you to set up the table.

"Did you find an interesting book?" you asked as you brought the pasta dish you had prepared to your tiny table.

A mischievous and yet saddened smile appeared on Caspian's lips.

"You can say that," he elusively answered.

He was standing by the table, and by now you were used to having him not sit down before you. Some kind of extra-politeness, you guessed. He pulled the chair for you when you walked to your side of the table, and you thanked him with an amused smile while he was sitting down himself.

"Why so mysterious?" you insisted. "What book did you get?"

"Oh… huh… something about… robots? It's some kind of… machine, that… lives? Very strange but… interesting."

You shook your head at him, surprised that he would be curious about something so different from the world he knew. But then, he kept on surprising you a little more every day.

Caspian glanced at the clock up on your yellow wall, that seemed to glimmer in gold as the sun was setting, ending its course beyond the tall buildings of New York City. He heaved a sigh before speaking again.

"I should go back to Agatha's after diner, it will be quite late already by then."

"Oh… you want to go back there?"

Even if you had spent most of your time together for the past few days, Caspian had always spent the night at Agatha's, and you were fine with that. After all, it had been but a few days since your kiss in Central Park, and a few weeks since the two of you had met. And despite your time together being limited, you didn't want to rush into things either. You wanted to take things slow, wanted to simply enjoy the moments you had with him.

And maybe, despite how abundantly clear Caspian had been, there was a little part of you that still held to the hope that maybe all of this was just a misunderstanding, that perhaps Narnia, despite the odds, wasn't real at all. And then, if that was the case, Caspian wouldn't have to leave.

So you wanted to take things slow, but still, things were going so well with him, and there wasn't any denying that your new boyfriend was extremely attractive. And maybe you were ready to do a little bit more than hugging him and talking with him for hours.

Meanwhile, Caspian stared at you with a puzzled expression.

"Well… I hardly have any other place to stay."

"You… you could… stay here," you hesitantly stuttered.

Caspian considered your offer for a moment. He did want to spend more time with you, but your sofa was really too uncomfortable, and he knew he wouldn't be able to get any sleep if he had to settle there for the night. And that was even without mentioning that the knowledge of having you sleeping down the hall would make it impossible for his mind to calm down enough to succumb to slumber.

He offered you a warm smile, a little teasing, with one end of his mouth turned upright and an amused glimmer shining in his brown, almost black eyes.

"Thank you for your offer. I do have to admit that it is tempting, we would spend more time together this way. But – and I hope you don't take this remark badly – your sofa is way too uncomfortable for me to stay there all night."

He was expecting you to laugh, maybe to shyly get a gulp of your water to hide this divine smile of yours. But you didn't. Instead, you were frowning at him, as if you didn't understand what he meant.

"The sofa? Why would you spend the night on the sofa?"

It was his turn to look at you with puzzled eyes.

"Well… where else would I sleep?"

"I meant… I meant to ask you if you wanted to stay the night… with me…"

It's only by the look in your eyes that he finally understood what you truly meant. And his reaction was to fiercely blush, all the way up to the tip of his ears.

"Oh… I… I…"

"It's okay if you don't want to or… if you're not attracted to me or…"

You let your sentence suspended in mid-air to hover over the room. You were all shy now, closing yourself from him, and Caspian could recognize the signs of your uneasiness. Maybe he wasn't reacting to this the way he should…

"I… I can't…"

He took a deep breath, remembering that you were from another world. And so, he adopted a different attitude.

"Is it normal in your world? To… be this… intimate before… marriage?"

You frowned at him again, but seemed to make the same realization too that, despite the two of you getting along so well and understanding each other to such a degree, you were not from the same world, and your two societies worked differently.

"Yeah, it is… not… for you?" you asked back.

"No. No, it isn't."

"Oh…"

"It… it would be… disrespectful if I…"

"I understand. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"It's okay. I… I just… I don't know…"

"Caspian, you don't have to justify yourself. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

You seemed to be the one who was uncomfortable then though, and you stood up to clean your plate even if you hadn't finished your dish. Caspian followed suit though, not allowing you to simply drop the subject and flee so easily.

"Y/N… I…"

"It's okay, Caspian. I promise you, it's okay. I just… I guess I feel a little stupid to have offered to take a… a new step when it's not something your people does."

You seemed fragile then, your confidence quite shaken. Caspian heaved a sigh, forcing you to stop cleaning your plate as he took your wet hands in his.

"It is not our way. But I… I want you to know that… I… you are beautiful, Y/N. This is not the problem, here. But I was raised with the idea that being this intimate with a woman one is not married to is disrespectful. And disrespecting you is the last thing I want to do."

You nodded, notably relaxing, and when you looked at him again, there was a spark of mischief shining in your gaze.

"I understand. And I would never want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or disrespectful to you. But… please, tell me your people don't condemn cuddling, because I love your hugs too much to give up on them."

Caspian let out a laugh, although he was blushing fiercely once more. He pulled you closer to him, capturing you in this brown stare of his you had quickly learnt to recognize like home.

"I cannot say that it would be… accepted without a few rumours and judging glances but… I will happily pay that price. To be honest, I could not resist holding you even if I wanted to."

You giggled in the most adorable of ways, hiding your face in his shoulder.

And as he breathed in the scent of your shampoo, sugary and delicate that reminded him of afternoons spent walking through the gardens, with the air filled with the fragrance of wildflowers, Caspian knew that he wouldn't have any rest tonight. How could he waste any minute he could spend with you?

His back would kill him the next day, but a few hours on your uncomfortable sofa were a small price to pay to have a chance to hold you close.

[tmntgirlie]

TMNT x Reader

Helping You Bleach Your Hair

Prompt: Heyoo :) hope you are having a fantastic evening/morning/afternoon/timeless endeavor in the void, could I request hcs of the boys helping their s/o bleach/dye their hair? In the process rn and would love some helping hands tysm ❤️❤️

Oh my gosh, why haven’t I thought of doing this one sooner? I’ll try to use laypersons’ terms as much as possible and not too much hairdresser lingo. Hope you like it! (Pro tip: please don’t bleach your hair at home. As a licensed cosmetologist, I wouldn’t even do so on myself)

Leonardo

“Y/N? Hon, where are you- what are you doing?”

“Uh-”

“What is that stuff on your head?”

You quickly explained what you were doing

It really wasn’t that big of deal- you wanted a chance, and you thought that lightening your hair would bring that change

Plus, once you got to blonde, you wanted to try all sorts of fun colors

“Is it supposed to look like cake frosting?”

“Saturation is key. Can you help me get to the back?”

Leonardo gingerly took the color brush from your hand

“What do I do with it?”

“You take thin slices of hair and brush the product on. Don’t get too close to my scalp, though, stay an inch away. That part is supposed to be last, I think”

You never had somebody more gentle working on your hair

You had your fingers crossed the entire time

It’s just hair, you kept telling yourself

What’s the worst that could happen?

Maybe you should have recorded yourself in case you screwed up

You could be the star of a new Brad Mondo video that way, make some coin

Twenty minutes later, Leo handed the brush back to you

“What now?”

“Wait another twenty minutes, I think, then do my roots- then rinse and tone”

“Tone?”

You had so much to teach this terrapin about hair

Raphael

“What the fuck is on your head?”

“Raphie! Baby! I’m just bleaching my hair!”

“The fuck is that?”

You scoffed

He was not in a good enough mood to appreciate your creativity

“I want to color my hair bright red, but I have to bleach it first so it’s really bright”

“Any particular reason you want red?”

“I’m starting to rethink it, actually”

“Well, who am I to stop you? Here, let me help”

You carefully handed him the color brush, hoping this wasn’t a mistake

Sure, he had his creative side, but he wasn’t this sort of creative that you knew of

“Thin slices, away from my root”

“Got it, babe. How thick do you want it?”

You grinned

“Thick as you can get it. It needs to be saturated so the lightener can penetrate better”

“Oh, penetration? That is something you know well”

He was kind of rough with your hair, but was it bad that you liked it?

Little tug here, a pull there

Your hair was probably not the only thing getting penetrated that night

Donatello

“Donnie! Donatello! Baby! Honeybuns!”

Your purple-banded turtle boyfriend ran into the room like it was on fire

“What? What is it, baby, what’s wrong?”

“Can you check to see if I got all of it?”

“Got all of it?”

You gestured to your hair

“How do you want me to look?”

You gave him a tail comb

“Use this, make sure every single strand is covered and that the roots aren’t touched. Can you do that for me please, baby?”

Donatello was certainly up for the challenge

He took that comb and ran the pointy end through your hair, inspecting every single strand of hair

He licked his thumb and wiped away anything that was even close to your scalp

“Isn’t this not safe to do at home?”

“Someone could say the same thing about your lab experiments”

He didn’t respond, just smiled and kept working

“What’s your goal with this, exactly?”

“I’m thinking of going for an icy blonde color”

“You’ll need to go a lot lighter than this”

“Well, yeah, it’s supposed to sit on for forty minutes. Sixty minutes max, I think”

“Did you even read the instructions?”

Donnie quickly researched ‘bleaching your hair at home’ and found out exactly what to do

If his baby wanted to be icy blonde, they were going to be icy blonde, dammit

Michelangelo

“Aw, you’re doing your hair without me?”

This turt thought himself to be a professional

After all, he had seen all of the Brad Mondo videos and bleach fails

He knew what to do, he knew what not to do

Dare I say he had more of an idea than you?

“Don’t tell me you got the T-18 toner- that’s a permanent color! Way too high ammonia for freshly bleached hair!”

“Don’t worry, babe, I got a demi gloss”

“What’s the goal here, babycakes? What are we working towards?”

You showed him a picture on your phone

At this point, he had completely taken over your home project

You weren’t complaining

It was hard to keep your arms up for that long

“Oh, easy peasy! Do you want me to throw in a few lowlights as well for dimension? You don’t want a flat hair color”

“Do you know how to do those?”

“Ooh! What about a balayage? I saw a bunch of videos on how to do them-”

“I already started the all over bleach, but maybe we can do that next time?”

“Next time?”

Oh, he was so excited

He didn’t have his own head of hair to screw with, and now he figured he had your permission to do your head

“This is going to look so bomb. Should I do a root tap so that it grows in better?”

There were days you questioned his knowledge of the world

This was a day where you questioned why he had this knowledge

Again, not that you were complaining

-

A/N

I’ll admit, this one was fun. I could totally picture the guys wanting to help you or being easily convinced to help their partner do their hair. In all seriousness, I do not condone bleaching/lightening your hair at home. BUT if you absolutely must, here are a few tips

Slow and steady wins the race. You don’t need 40v developer to get where you want to go. 10v works just fine

In short, developers determine how fast the hair will process. In my country, we have 4 kinds- 10 volume, 20 volume, 30 volume, and 40 volume. You can mix them (using math, yay!) to get to any volume inbetween or you can dilute them with water- but never use more than 1:1 ratios when doing so! You could kill the developer

10v developer will lift the ‘slowest’, but will cause the least amount of damage and can be stretched/left on a tiny bit longer than manufacturers instructions. As long as you can’t stretch you hair more than 70% elasticity, you should be okay

Follow mixing ratios stated on your color/bleach, but when using bleach, these ratios are more like guidelines. The product will work BEST if used as stated on instructions, but you can put in a little more developer to create a runnier consistency or a little more powder bleach to make it thicker. It will still work

When using foils, you don’t need a cake-frosting thick bleach mixture. You can do with a runnier consistency as long as it sticks to the foils and doesn’t slide right out

Use a thicker consistency for open-air processing or processing just using a cap or plastic bag. The outside will harden, but will keep the inside moist inside

Follow instructions from the manufacturer on timing. Start the timer when you start applying- if you take 20 minutes to apply and the bleach needs to process for 45 minutes, that first piece you bleached will be done when the other parts have 25 minutes to go

And for the love of God, use a demi permanent color and 10v developer or LESS if you are toning

Plus, toning needs to be on level or lower in order to work

Happy coloring!

[normiewrites]

m-may i request a stressed out kageyama, unable to sleep before a big game and reader helps him ~destress~ if u know what i mean 😳

this is so bad n rushed but its hard writing rn so thisll do for now

warning(s): blow job

“nervous?” - tobio kageyama x (g/n)reader

it was a hot summer night. the toads outside were creaking and the atmosphere in the bedroom was restless and frantic, but not as bad as the boy behind you. you had not caught a wink of sleep all night, and this time it wasn’t your fault. needless to say, if you had gotten money for the amount of times that your husband had changed his positions, you’d be earning much more money than he does. but you couldn’t blame him, for he had his first match as a Schweiden Adlers setter the next day. even though it was his first match, he was going to be the main setter, which was huge, considering that he just made his debut with the team a few months back. so much was sitting on the result of the game tomorrow, his whole career to be exact.

as much as you weren’t enjoying missing out on sleep and worrying about your husband’s nerves, tobio wasn’t enjoying it as much either. it was a new feeling for him to be nervous and the fact that it’s a match alongside a completely different team which he had most of his life made it worse. he hated the feeling of the tightening in his stomach and the need to hold back imaginary puke in his mouth. to take it to the next level, he started worrying about not getting enough sleep, which was ironic because the very thought pushed him to fall deeper into it, minutes flying by with no remedy.

or so he thought.

in midst of all his worrying, discovering what it feels like when hinata needed to constantly use the bathroom before a game, he had forgotten that there was someone besides him who could easily help him out. he was reminded as you turned to face him, getting up and leaning on your right forearm as you looked down at him, catching his eyes despite the darkness.

“nervous?” you asked, chuckling softly at the way he let out a soft groan, covering his face with his hands.

“hey, it’s okay, there’s a big game tomorrow, it’s fine to be nervous” you said, now moving to straddle him as you moved his hands from his face, marvelling at the desperate boy beneath you. “but it’s not like you’ve never been nervous for a game before” you continued, cupping his sweaty face in your palms.

“actually” a hoarse voice came out before clearing up and continuing, “I used to barely get nervous, I never had a reason to. this is kind of like my first time.”

you couldn’t help but to be shocked. how had he never been nervous before? he must have been some kind of freak during high school.

“wait, I was extremely nervous once, and it was when I asked you out.”

you smirked, thinking ‘nevermind’ as you proceeded to lace your hands with his as they rested on his pillow, the cold of the metal band on his finger bringing a pleasant and welcomed cold sting.

“well, how’d you get rid of that?” you asked, rubbing your thumbs over the knuckles of his fingers, eyes darting over his features and how they seemed to shine differently in the sliver of moon light that entered the room.

“I didn’t. you said yes and it just went away.”

you could see the tiredness in his face, and the twitching of his eyes told you that the solution needed to be immediate and the most effective. and you had one, a perfect one.

“tobio, I’ll help you relax, you just sit back and enjoy, okay?” you asked before leaning down and planting a small kiss on his lips, loving the way that he tried to return it with his chapped lips as you moved away.

if it was any other night, you would’ve taken your time, kissing your way down his body, ravishing him as the beautiful creature he was, maybe even teasing and getting him to beg, but with the way he sighed softly at the contact of your hand against his crotch, you knew you had to get straight to the point. it was going to have be to be urgent but still satisfactory.

you now laid down between his thighs, the blanket pushed behind you as you slipped his boxers down with the help of him lifting his hips. they reached till his knees till his exhausted body collapsed onto the bed. your fingers worked up his thighs, brushing past the light hair he had before settling on his cock. it was semi-hard, but you could feel it slowly hardening as you got to work.

licking it from the base to the tip, your tongue drew patterns on it as you tried your best to make him hard in the slightly sleepy haze you were in. soft moans left his mouth as you flicked the underside of his tip, his eyes shutting and arm resting on his forehead. even in such a tired state of being, he could still look like a god.

you were quick to bring your mouth down to his balls, your hand jerking him off to compensate. you brought each ball into your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks as you applied pressure with your tongue as it moved against it, your hand slowly tightening up around his member and jerking it off. the way that he had started flexing his arms in self control and how he moved his hips at particular sucks gave him away, letting you know that you were on the right path.

letting his balls go with a slight pop, you moved to his tip, taking it into your mouth as you pressed the tip of your tongue on the underside of it, eyeing the way that he let out heavy breaths and a few soft moans at your action.

not wasting anymore time, you slowly took his member into your mouth, welcoming the way that it filled your mouth up.

“fuck, y/n” he moaned slightly louder this time, his nose crinkling as his hips bucked up a bit, hitting the back of your throat but for not too long.

you added pressure by hollowing out your cheeks and pressing against his underside with your tongue, loving the way that you could feel a few veins against your soft muscle.

at first, tobio was never one for blow jobs, because he didn’t like how vulnerable he looked, especially because you could see him the whole time, but the way that he clenched his fists onto the sheets and let his mouth gape open with a few moans leaving it told you that he had gotten over than irrationality.

“y/n, I’m close” he whispered softly, his heavy panting not any louder than the frogs from outside, but much more captivating and motivational as you continued, helping him find that bliss.

your hands were warm against his balls as you kept bobbing your head on his cock, sometimes sucking especially hard on the tip or adding the tiniest bit of teeth to scrape against his skin the way he liked it. you could feel he was getting close by the way his balls tensed up and he lost track of his breathing, a final deep thrust into your mouth confirming your suspicions.

“o-oh, fuck, y-y/n” he moaned loudly, biting his lip as he thrusted a few more to ride out his high, one of his hands caressing your head.

you eyed the way that his chest rose up and down in heavy breathing and how his jaw clenched with the satisfaction of filling your mouth with his cum. but as soon as his relief came, so did sleep, slurring his movements.

“hmm, thank you, I feel better now” he mumbled softly, kissing your lips and scrunching up his face at the slight taste of him on your lips.

“anything for you, baby, now go win that match tomorrow.”

tags: @kingtamakimurder 

[jefferoni-quotes]

I'm having a pretty hard time rn (my grandpa passed away two days ago and my best friend and me had a major fall out the day before) so.. could you maybe give me some fluff? I don't care who about, I just need something nice and sweet -

First of all, anon, I'm so sorry about your grandpa! I hope you're okay, if not feel free to message me!

Take this short, fluffy Jamilton which had been sitting in my drafts for months. Thanks for making me finish this!

a copier room for two

Jamilton, 973 words

Reblogs > Likes

tw for anxiety

Full fic under the cut!

Jefferson grabs Alexander by the arm and tugs him down the hall. The office is long empty, the employees filed home hours previous. A rumble of thunder breaks the unpleasant silence, and Hamilton lets out a pathetic whimper, suppressing the overwhelming urge to curl up into a ball. 

Jefferson is still pulling, less harsh and more caring with a focused expression plastered over his features. If he weren't so utterly caught in the net of fear, Alexander would've taken a moment to admire him. 

They turn a corner, a left he notes and then a door is thrown open with urgency. Another loud clap of thunder and a strike of lightning has involuntary tears tracking down Hamilton's cheeks. A choked sob comes from one of them, and it takes Alexander a second to realise it was him. He's guided by a strong hand into the room, a printer room, how classy he thinks. 

The door shuts and a light flickers on, suddenly the storm is nonexistent. Standing before him is a tired looking Thomas Jefferson. His usual arrogant smirk is replaced with a sad looking frown, his forehead wrinkles with the expression. He looks old. Well, not old. But older than he is. As far as Alexander knows, Jefferson is thirty-five, a full four years older than Hamilton, but he could easily pass for his mid-forties. 

Jefferson opens his mouth to speak, and that familiar sultry drawl does not escape. The accent itself is the same, but his tone has changed dramatically. His voice is quieter, lighter. He sounds more friendly, approachable and in a way… shy? It's an emotion he wasn't aware the ignorant jerk possessed, but it was a breath of fresh air. 

"This is the only soundproof room on this floor," Jefferson breathes, stepping away from the door, releasing the handle.

Alexander sighs. That's how he can no longer hear the crash of thunder. There aren't any windows either, so he's safe from seeing any of the storm too. Then he raises a questioning eyebrow. "How do you know that?"

He examines with intent as Jefferson's face lights up red, all the way up to his ears. The blush isn't as noticeable as it would be, and he susses the man must be grateful for his darker skin hiding his fluster. "Unimportant," he mutters and turns back to the door. "Would you like me to leave?"

Alexander blinks a few times. Despite being unable to see or hear the storm, he knows it's out there. And he really doesn't want to be alone. "Stay? Just until it's gone?" He musters the willpower to ask for help, and it doesn't feel good. Not until Jefferson lets go of the handle again and nods, his hands dropping to his sides like he doesn't know what to do with them.

With a moment of silence washing over them, Alexander sinks to the floor, tugging his knees up to his chest. The tears haven't ceased in their tirade of running down his face, and he sniffs as he realises this fact. His - admittedly hot - political rival has seen him at his lowest point. Great.

He doesn't notice Jefferson sitting down next to him until a thumb graces just below his eye and wipes a bitter tear away. He flinches and the hand is gone. He looks over, Jefferson automatically glances away. This is a side he's never seen of the man. This shy, bashful, quiet man is such a difference to the cocky piece of shit Alexander knows. 

They sit in silence for a minute longer, enjoying the feeling of not arguing. Alexander has calmed down significantly when Jefferson speaks.

"When I have panic attacks I come in here." He says with a simple shrug, but his eyes shine with fear and regret as soon as the words pass his lips.

"What?" Alexander asks, exasperated. He takes big gasping breaths.

"You asked me how I know this room is soundproof," Thomas (when did Jefferson become Thomas?) reminds him. "Well, I come in here when I'm having a panic attack, or I need to cry or whatever." The man looks away, averting his eyes from a confused Alexander. 

"What? When you need to…?" Alexander's voice wavers with the effort to hold himself together, for his and Thomas' sake.

Thomas catches his bottom lip between his teeth, rolls it back and forth as he considers his words. "Cry, or I'm panicking. Usually twice a week at least."

"When was the last time-?" Alexander asks, throat thick. It feels as though he's the cause of this.

"Yesterday-" Thomas announces, "you called me a pathetic disgrace to the earth," he adds, glancing off. The storm may have stopped by now, and yet neither dare move. 

Alexander caught his bottom lip between his teeth, rolled it back and forth nervously before letting it go. "I'm- sorry about that. You're… you're not that bad actually."

Thomas scoffs. "No, Hamilton. I am that bad."

Shaking his head, Alexander cuts in. "You're not. You wouldn't have helped me if you were."

Thomas snorts out a soft laugh and drops his head to Alex's shoulder absent-mindedly, not thinking about his actions. "You're not so bad yourself, Hamilton."

"Alexander," he corrects, threading his fingers through Thomas' curls. They spring - much to Alex's delight - to the touch. Not only that, but Thomas makes no objections, merely leans closer to Alexander.

"You're not so bad, Alexander," he repeats, name changed to fit better. It brings a gentle smile to Alex's face, and in this moment he's completely forgotten where they are. In his mind, they're no longer huddled in a cramped printer room, there is no storm outside and Thomas hasn't just opened up about his anxiety to him. No, it's just him and Thomas in their own little world together.

And it's perfect for now.

-

Tag list (ask to be added!):

@a-nice-tea-time @skyluni @khiara1776 @beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeeeecause @slushy-sloosh-musical-person @patt0n-sanders @karixx @tryingtohealandgrow @justthehopeleft @pufflypuffle @swagdiplomatlightkid @i-can-get-extra-with-my-ships @revolutionary-romanticv

Reblogs > Likes!

Comments make my day!!! ♥️

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[avatoh]

Lassiter downloads a dating app and Shawn decides to catfish him. What happens when the fake psychic gets too close and Lassiter catches onto his scheme?

Read on A03 or below

Happy Psych Movie 2 week!

Lassiter stared emptily at his phone screen, wondering if he was making the right decision. He was never really the kind of man to put himself out there, not like this anyway. But honestly, he was getting incredibly lonely at this point of his life. Being the person that he was, he, of course, had his qualms about online dating. To put his photo out there, his name, his location...well, this was almost out of the question for him.

But, with some minor changes to his personal information, like his name, his location, and some artful photos that concealed his identity, he found himself completing a profile on an online dating site, a semi-popular phone-based dating app to be more specific.

To his surprise, he got a few messages when he opened the app up a few days later, checking it for the first time since creating his profile. A lot of the messages were simple one word greetings, some were weird, while others were just asking him semi-personal questions regarding his profile and his height, with questionable emojis tacked on to the end.

Was dating really this simple now?

“Hello.” He had messaged back a few people after extensively combing through their profiles. So far, so good. This wasn’t so bad! Maybe he should have done this sooner.

Unfortunately for him and his odd and demanding work hours, about four months after downloading his dating app Lassiter’s phone went completely dry.

Since downloading the app though, he’d gone on six separate in-person dates in total and out of those six dates, two of them had warranted second dates and he’d gotten two goodnight kisses from both of them. He’d eventually slept with one of them, but after that, he never heard from them again as they were only in town for business and traveled a lot.

In short, it had now been a month since Lassiter had last had a date and he’d only gotten a one night stand out of four months of effort.

Lassiter heard a familiar ring chime on his phone at a crime scene, one day. He pulled out his phone on instinct to check the dating app and potential new messages and…

Spencer!

Oh no, Shawn had caught him on the app, recognizing the sound of the ring too, somehow. Lassiter hadn’t realized what he had done in front of everyone until he saw Shawn’s head perk up in his peripheral vision...

They made eye contact.

Lassiter could have sworn Shawn gave him a head nod of acknowledgment before he managed to fumble his phone back into his pocket. How embarrassing! At least Spencer had the decency not to say anything out loud, for once. But the man knew. He definitely knew what that app was and he knew that he was desperate and lonely enough to make a profile on it! God! This was not good.

Hopefully that was the end of that!

“Yo, dude,” Shawn whispered at the crime scene to his best friend in the world, Burton Guster. “Check it out! Lassiter’s using a dating app!”

“What? For real!?” Gus asked.

“Yeah,” Shawn whispered back. “Just saw him on it right now!” The knowledge made him feel like a giggling school-boy finding out the Chemistry teacher was dating the English teacher.

“Wonder if that app thing is working for him?” Gus smiled, amusedly, touching his thumb to his nose.

“Working for him? A man like Lassie on a dating app...” Shawn mused. “Yeah, I mean, he’s a pretty good-looking man. Bet it sure is.”

“But his personality-” Gus interrupted.

“Ehhh. You’re right, but it's not that bad once you kinda get to know him,” Shawn vocalized.

“No. It is.You’re just saying that because you like him.”

“First of all, Gus, I didn’t say anything like that. I simply made a questioning sound with my throat, indicating my wavering thought. Second of all, the man had a wife for God’s sake. Someone out there liked him enough to not only date but marry him. He can’t be that bad.”

“Well, ‘first of all,’ Shawn, yes, the noise that you made with your throat meant that you do like him and you were disagreeing with my statement because you feel the opposite of what I said. That was a positive sound, Shawn. And ‘second of all,’ he got divorced and hasn’t had a steady date since.”

“That’s because if he dated me, he’d never want to date again!”

“So why don’t you try now? He’s clearly looking for somebody.”

“Eh,” Shawn said in a saddened tone.

“What?”

“I’ve already asked him out before and he shot me down. Didn’t take me seriously.”

“It’s because of the ways you've asked him,” Gus said blatantly. “You gotta ask him for real!”

“Like...for real, for real?” Shawn squeaked.

“Yeah,” Gus answered. “That’s generally how these things work, Shawn!”

“What are you two talking about,” came Vick’s voice. The case that they were called on was pretty important, it seemed. There was no time to talk about Lassiter and his dating app habits. Both Shawn and Gus turned towards one another and shrugged.

“Just talking about the case, Chief.”

“Get to it then, boys.”

“Yes, Chief!”

Later that day, when Shawn got back to his place, he plugged in his phone in the charger next to his bed and closed his eyes. His fantastic memory allowed him to recall the exact details of what he had seen on Lassiter’s cell phone screen. He really hadn’t tried to remember those details, they just came into his mind as he was falling asleep. Shawn groaned and flipped onto his side. Sleep was now out of the question now; he was curious and intrigued.

Shawn perfectly remembered Lassiter’s online dating profile. Age, height, and location were all a bit off from the truth, but that was to be expected. Pretty interesting. Before he knew it, the dating app Lassiter had used was now downloaded on Shawn’s phone. Shawn wanted to snoop...he really really wanted to. For the time being, he set the app aside and cycled through his normal apps to keep his mind occupied. There was no wrong-doing in downloading an app. Shawn quit before he was further tempted and turned on the T.V and decided watching re-runs of Friends was a better use of his time than holding temptation in his hands.

After a long week at work, Lassiter walked into his home and took a hot shower, then laid down in his bed, relaxing for the first time all day. It was now when he finally allowed himself to look at his notifications on his phone. There were a few emails, a few software updates, and a few notifications from apps.

It had now been a few days since Lassiter had opened his app at the scene of a crime in front of Shawn. About seven messages had built up on his dating profile and he hadn’t checked due to the case he had been working on. It had consumed him. Some of the profiles that he had messaged him looked promising. Just as he was about to log-off the app, he got a new message from an attractive-looking woman: Esther.

Esther: Hey there. I see you're online rn too. Did you just get off work? :)

Her profile checked out and she seemed nice. She was older than most of the women who messaged him: around his own age, in fact. She wore a pant-suit in one of her profile photos and a nice smile. She must have just gotten off work like he had. He messaged her back.

Lassiter: Yes. Got off 2 hours ago. What about you?

Esther: I got off about an hour ago. Today was a long day.

Lassiter decided to thumb through Esther’s profile more extensively now. His consensus was that she was a rather interesting woman and it seemed that he may have seen her somewhere before but he couldn’t quite place it. It seemed that she worked for a company as an executive. She was 4 years younger than him. They had quite a few things in common and she seemed rather okay at face value. This was somebody he’d like to get to know better. He decided to talk to her more to see if there was a potential good match in the making.

Sometime after Shawn had downloaded the app, and made a profile. He really hadn’t wanted to, but he did. His curiosity got the best of him. He created a fake profile in the name of Esther to browse and look for Lassiter in the app. He used photos from an old girlfriend of his who he was still friendly with after he explained that it was for a case. Surprisingly, she had given him permission to use her pictures. Lying already. Yes, this was getting off to a great start.

After setting up the profile, he had to actively look through hundreds of profiles for Lassiter which made him feel really, really creepy. So he stopped and put his phone away.

Esther was a nice woman, she really was, and he really liked her but his cop instincts were kicking in. Something seemed off. She just...seemed too perfect and a little too tailored to him and his tastes, so to speak. She absolutely couldn’t be real. He wished it wasn’t that way, but he was almost certain he was being played.

He wasn’t being paranoid, it was actually far from it. There were subtle, subtle hints that “Esther” knew he was. The person was careful, but they were also too proud and self confident. It was only two little details that they slipped up on: that’s it. They commented about his phone being in the drawer on his work desk. He locked it away there on occasion.

Lassiter: Sorry I was busy. At work atm.

Esther: Forgot your phone in your desk?

Keyword IN. On the desk would have been more normal, not a lot of people had a drawer to put their phone in.

That was the huge red flag. The other red flag and what seemed strange was that on two occasions he saw Shawn on his phone at the same time he was receiving messages from Esther. He was across the station but he swore he heard the ding from the dating app on one occasion. Shawn cursed when he received a pretty bold response and then they caught eyes in a half glare from across the way. On another day, Esther knew the color of his shoes he was currently wearing, all of which was very peculiar.

Three days passed and Shawn had since then he had begun thumbing through profiles and finally stumbled upon Lassiter’s. He knew it was his by the icon he saw for a split second on the detective's phone.

He didn’t know what compelled him but he happened to open the app once more late at night and found himself looking at Lassiter’s profile after mindlessly flipping through the app again. There was little green light indicating that Lassiter was online was on the corner of the profile. Now was his chance. Gus was talking to a woman at the bar they were at and he felt lonely. Now was his opportunity. It was only going to be one quick message. Lassiter probably wouldn’t reply anyway. Besides, he was bored. He didn’t expect a reply, anyway.

About two minutes later he got a reply. Huh. That wasn’t what he was expecting. They ended up talking all night.

Yes. Esther was most definitely fake. To make matters worse, Lassiter was 95% sure that Shawn was the man behind Esther. He had never been so embarrassed in his life. The conversations had already gotten deep and real and involved: all the things that normally didn’t happen when he talked to someone online. He’d admitted to things to Esther and “Esther” confessed some things to him as well and some of those things didn't exactly fit her backstory but could easily fit Shawn Spencer’s...

Talking to Lassiter had become a bit of a habit for a whole week. They had just started talking about meeting up in real life now, which was obviously a problem. There were always vague excuses on his end and sometimes even on Lassiter’s due to business and scheduling conflicts, which was strange. It was probably subconscious. Shawn was about ready to end this whole charade once and for all, but sometimes it seemed that Lassiter just liked talking to him as “Esther”, so much so that he didn’t want to stop. They were getting along and the companionship was great.

Shawn was really questioning why he was still doing this though. Sometimes when he replied back pretending to be someone else he just felt plain nasty and dirty: like the liar that he was. What exactly was he gaining from keeping this up? He could stop anytime he wanted. He should stop. Why were they still talking? He had investigated him enough. What else was the point of continuing these conversations? Well, it’s not like he had anything better to do, anyway, right? And, besides, talking to Lassiter was nice.

Early on into his “investigation” he had already gotten one of the main answers from Lasstier that he was seeking.

Esther: Hey, on the little quiz match thing that we can take on here, it says you’re both interested in women and men?

Shawn really, really had always been curious if he even had a chance with Lassiter and this was the answer he had been waiting for. Hopefully Lassiter wasn’t so computer inept that he had chosen “looking men and women”on accident. His heart raced as he saw Lassiter typing.

It took him awhile to respond, but when he did, Lassiter replied:

Is that going to be a problem for you?

“Not at all,” he typed back. I’m actually bi as well.

I’m pan, but ok.

Shawn’s heart beat quickly in his chest. What. What the hell was happening here? He heard from Lassie’s mouth itself that there might be a chance for them to be together. Lassie was pansexual? Oh my God! He, for years, had been hoping with all his might that Lassiter wasn’t straight. He wasn’t! Oh my God, he wasn’t!? He suspected as much but he’s never really seen Lassiter interested in people other than the few women he chased after on a few occasions. I haven’t dated too many women tho, you know... he said, as Esther.

That’s fine.

Shawn wanted to know more about his dating history but Lassiter wasn’t budging. He could feel him shrinking back a little, so he stopped.

Yes, “Esther” was most definitely Shawn Spencer. For a day or two, he was actually very very convinced somebody was stalking or after him. He realized “Esther” had to be someone within the department who had close access to him on the daily. Lassiter regularly checked the SBPD as well as his desk for bugs, but he checked again. No dice. He then reviewed security cameras in the office. There was only one recurring common threat to him: Shawn.

To finally confirm his seemingly impossible theory, he kept on messaging Shawn while they were in the same room together. Shawn kept on checking his phone. He eventually stopped when Lassiter got too bold but thanks to the use of the office security cameras, when he was in a different room Lassiter messaged him again and watched Shawn pull out his phone and open a familiar looking app. Even with the pixels barely visible, he knew all evidence pointed to Shawn.

What the Hell.

What was he playing at? Lassiter felt sick to his stomach and betrayed. He didn’t know what the hell to do about this or how to confront Shawn directly.

For three days he ignored Esther. On the fourth day, he launched his attack plan while Shawn was sitting with O’Hara on a lunch break. Shawn, Guster, O’Hara, and himself, were all at a restaurant together and Lassiter had excused himself to the restroom as he walked away. He couldn’t wait to see Shawn’s reactions and see him get caught in the act:

Lassiter: Sorry it’s been awhile. It’s been busy at work

Esther: It’s okay. I’ve been busy as well. How are you?

Lassiter: Good. Hey I was wondering. I’m free tomorrow. Can we meet up soon?

It took “her” a while to respond and she said no. Across the room, Lassiter could see Shawn’s fingers typing away but couldn’t see any facial reaction from him.

Lassiter: Then when?

Esther: I don;t know.

Lassiter: That’s fine. Thank you for the chats, but I don’t think this is going to work out if we can’t meet. It was nice knowing you.

The 5% chance that this wasn’t Shawn, that was “Esther’s” last chance right there. He was done with this and this game and done with Shawn’s shenanigans. He was about to walk over to Shawn to expose him when his phone dinged on his way back to the table. He glanced at his phone before he approached the booth.

I’m busy tomorrow, but I’m free Sunday.

What? What the hell?! This wasn’t supposed to happen. Esther wasn’t real. How could Shawn be taking this so far? He had practically caught him red-handed! Perhaps even Shawn knew it. Maybe he was calling his bluff. He had to think quickly. He couldn’t let Shawn win! This was ridiculous!

Lassiter: Ok, let’s meet at the cafe by the movie theatre

Esther: Okay. What time is good for you? I’m free all day.

Lassiter: 5

Esther: 5pm at the cafe?

Lassiter: Yes

Esther: Okay that’s fine :)

Lassiter eyed Shawn with his steely gaze as he sat down in the booth. Shawn gave him a little smile as he continued typing at his keyboard, probably to nobody.

Oh, what had he gotten himself into?

Shit! Shit! Shit! Yeah. Shawn had just made a date with Lassiter and was pretty sure that he was onto him. What the hell was he going to do? The man was sitting across from him staring him down as he pretended to type on his phone to someone and was attempting not to scream. He had until Sunday to figure that out. For now, he had to focus on pretending that everything was okay at this lunch.

Sunday came and Lassiter didn’t even bother dressing up for his date. 5 o’clock was arriving quickly and he drove to the proposed meeting spot and sat at one of the outside tables as he sipped at a coffee, starting exactly at 5 pm. When he was done drinking, he was planning on leaving. He wondered what Shawn was going to do to get out of this one.

To his surprise, at 5:02, Esther, the girl from the profile picture, showed up to the cafe and Lassiter’s mouth gaped wide open.

Shawn’s ex, the one the one he had gotten the photos from, had agreed to go on a date with Lassiter as he contacted her again and asked for this “one last favor” She laughed as he explained the whole situation he was in and had always been a fun person to date and was fully on board, thinking that it would be fun. Shawn had confessed to his ex that he had a crush on Lassiter and she sympathized with him saying she’d do her best to let him down gently.

The coffee date had gone...well but she wasn’t who he had been expecting. He sincerely was expecting Shawn or even just nobody to show up. Her words when she spoke were different, they didn’t click with one another like they had online.

Monday, the next time Lassiter saw Shawn, he pulled the man aside. “We need to talk.”

“What?” Shawn said.

“You know what you did!”

Shawn, playing dumb as usual, denied it. “What?”

“I think you know, “Esther,” Lassiter emphasized.

Shawn stared at him with a deadpan expression.

“I don’t know how you did it. How you got “her” to come to the coffee shop. But it’s you. It’s your words. Your phone number that’s registered to the account, I know it’s you, Shawn.”

“If you knew I was Esther , and I’m not saying I was, then why would you say the stuff you were saying?” Shawn stepped closer. “It was intimate, personal…”

“I-” Never did Lassiter think that Shawn would admit to something like this and take responsibility for his actions. He was growing as a person. He really did like him but he didn’t seem the most emotionally and financially secure person. But...he had just admitted to this little game, something like this was big for him. Perhaps…

“Of course the things you were saying…”

“Yes-” Lassiter inquired.

“One could say that you were really charming, really engaging, and surprisingly open.” Shawn moved closer towards him and his cheeks were getting red. “You really liked this woman, huh?”

“That person, yes, they were rather interesting.”

Shawn took a deep breath, Lassiter was...complimenting him. He was openly complimenting him. He felt his heart swell with giddy emotion. This, he really hadn’t suspected this from Lassiter. He was still just walking into a trap. After all this time, after all this pinning, it seemed too easy to admit these things. “Of course,” Shawn started to say with a movement of his hand towards his head. Two fingers on his temple. “My visions wont allow me to see anymore of what happened between you two. But I could tell that you really liked her.”

V I S I O N S!? Lassiter’s mood did a 180 and his eyes crinkled in anger. “I think we’re done here.”

This was his chance. But he was a coward as much as he was a liar. He had made the wrong decision. “Wait-” Shawn called after him.

“We’re done here,” Lassiter repeated again.

Oh no.

Lassiter left the stationhouse early to cool off. It was very unfortunate that Shawn had let him down like that again. They could have been so much together. Shawn…. Shawn was just a child. He could never date a child, a liar like him. Shawn, the fake psychic. He had some growing up to do before he could even consider him as a partner. He never took responsibility, and that was his main character flaw. He was disappointed in himself and disappointed in Spencer. This would never work.

Shawn, who didn’t have Lassiter’s actual phone number, created a new profile on the dating app. This time, as Shawn Spencer. He found Lassiter’s profile again and started typing out a long, heartfelt msg explaining his con, about his ex who was involved, how he had a crush on him, how he wasn't even psychic and the whole shebang.

Leave it to him to fuck things up as usual. He quietly deleted his long and wordy message and re-typed simply the words sorry, his thumb hovering over the send button...

A03

[laurelleghuleh]

OCAF | Ch. 14 “Scars”

Warnings: read the masterlist first

Songs:“Perfectly Wrong” by Shawn Mendes, “Insecure” by Brent Faiyaz ( I think this song is exactly what is going on inside Daphne’s/your head rn), “Teacher’s Pet” by Melanie Martinez (when DaddyErwin arrives)

DAPHNE’S POV

“Are you sure you’ve had enough?”

Tracing his thumbs over my ribs and lowering his gaze to my torso, Levi firmly said “No.” and my bottom lip quivered in anticipation. I instantly felt something unfamiliar, something wicked growing in my lower belly, something I had to suppress as soon as possible. I could see the same lust swimming around Levi’s eyes, but the dark shadows beneath them, the gauze over his wound, the scars, the signs, and all the bruises all over his skin talked more loudly to my conscience than my selfish yearning. We both needed some rest.

I sighed and moved away from him, leaving him quite puzzled. I stood up from the tub, removed his firm grip from my ass and smirked at him as I stepped out. But he was faster than I expected. Levi instinctively followed me out of the bath, caught me, and turned me to face him again, pushing me against the wall behind me. Then his lips found my neck, eagerly gliding down my throat, following the line over my pulse.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he breathed against my heated skin. I almost didn’t catch his words, his lips barely lifted from me to spell his sentence out. He gently pulled my torso toward him as he slid down, exploring every inch of my skin. Again.

At the same time, one of his hands was firmly pressed on my waist while the other one was down on my thigh, lifting it up and securing it next to his side. My shoulder blades were now pressed against the bathroom's wall, my hands loosely placed over his shoulders, my eyes closed, my mind completely somewhere else.

No. We need to stop. I need to stop this… This is wrong. So wrong. What are we even doing?

I swallowed thickly trying to pull myself back together.

“Levi, we… You should rest-”

I couldn’t even manage to finish my sentence as I felt his fingers lightly pinching my nipple, then gently cupping my breast, and his face slowly climbing back up to mine.

He looks so tired.

“You should go to bed now” I sweetly whispered, caressing his cheeks with my hands. His face immediately lifted and a wide smirk curled his mouth.

“Say less.” he murmured.

That’s the last thing I remember about that night. Even now it feels like, when his swollen lips met mine again, everything just went in a blur of sloppy noises and imprecise memories. We clumsily rushed back to the bed, not even minding to put some new sheets on, landing on the bare mattress, one pressed against the other. We probably did it again, at least once. Only the adrenaline kept us going, but at some point I think we just passed out.

In the middle of the night, I woke with a start. A biting heat was scratching my throat, my mouth was completely drained, my body almost did not respond to my own commands, and my eyes refused to open. Once I faintly lifted my eyelids, I finally realized where I was. And most importantly, who I was with.

Lying next to me there was Levi, still sleeping soundly. Who knows how long he hadn't slept like that. His arms were still lazily wrapped around me, his chest swelled and deflated slowly with each breath, his forehead was flat and relaxed, his lips barely parted. I would have stayed there forever just staring at him.

I felt so small, so vulnerable on that bare mattress, and yet so calm. A thin thread of moonlight casually traced his contours and all I could do was silently contemplate him. If I had had the strength, I would have once more run my fingers through his silky dark hair, which now hung messily over his temples.

I would have stayed there forever.

I would have stayed there even forever if I hadn't felt that sudden bang inside my chest. Badum. Like a hammer knocking unexpectedly against my ribcage. Badum. A toll that became almost deafening in the absolute silence of that night. Badum. It was the first time a man had made me so small, so vulnerable. Badum. But I think I knew that feeling. Badum. It was the same thing I felt during the expedition, when the only thing I could think of was Levi and how badly I wanted to see him again. Badum.

I didn’t know what that was exactly, but it scared me to death.

“Oooh, you know what this is. You know it already, little liar. You felt like this even yesterday when you were looking for him everywhere, so desperately, so foolishly.” Badum.

“You felt like this when he helped you calming down.” Badum.

“When he kissed you the first time.” Badum.

“When he let you talk about your stupid past.” Badum.

“Even when he was just looking at you from a distance.” Badum.

“You’ve been feeling like this since the very beginning, you foolish little girl.” Badum.

“So why don’t you stay? Stay. Linger between your dear captain’s arms a little longer.“ Badum.

“Stay. No really, stay.” Badum.

“It won’t make much of a difference at this point.” Badum.

“Ruth is dead.” Badum.

“Abigail hates you.” Badum.

“Nina would hate you too if she only knew all the blood that ran through your hands last year.” Badum.

“Stay.” Badum.

At that point my heart was racing so wildly in my chest I almost believed it was about to wake Levi up, but probably only an earthquake could have disturbed his sleep in that state. I did my best to slip out of his arms as silently as possible, dragging my weary body off the bed, crawling, and looking for my clothes. Then I creeped out of his room, limping back to mine.

Time was not on our side, he was right. Nothing was on our side. People like Levi and me can be content with letting down their guards for one night and one night only. I would have stayed forever, but not in this life. The new day would eventually bring clarity to the stupid mistake we both made that night. He would have done the same in my position. Or at least, this is what I tried to tell myself as I curled up in my blankets, crying myself to sleep.

The next day I instinctively got up to the sound of the alarm and dragged my body into the bathroom like an automaton. I felt like throwing up. My bowels were literally upside down.

Then, opening the wardrobe to take the uniform, I came across my reflection. Almost complementary to the battle scars there were now faint bruises where Levi must have exerted too much pressure the previous night. I stared at them for a couple of solid minutes, not even daring to touch my own skin. They were the clear signs that what happened between us couldn’t be washed away that easily. But I was determined to find a way to erase them. To forget about him and get back on track. He wasn’t part of my plan, nor I would have allowed him in. Ever.

I'm going to earn my freedom on my own, legitimately this time. In a way or another.

Anyway, that morning eating was out of the question. I could barely bring myself to drink a glass of water at that point. On top of that, just the thought of seeing Levi made me already sick. Therefore, I decided to skip breakfast and go straight to the medical wing of the HQ. I knew I could be of service and my first aid skills were definitely needed after the expedition.

I kept myself busy all day, helping injured soldiers and filling reports. Hours dragged on pretty easily. I was so caught up that I even forgot about lunch. I was going around like a spinning top. But as always, the Lady Luck was not cooperating that day. Still kneeled beside a soldier’s bed to change his gauze, I suddenly froze. From a distance I heard the nurses greeting someone, saying things like: “Captain”, “Captain, welcome”, “How are you feeling, Captain?”

I hoped and prayed with my eyes closed they were talking to another captain. Spoiler alert: they weren’t.

Chills ran down my spine when, lifting cautiously my eyelids, I saw Levi sitting next to another soldier’s bed, right in front of the one I was taking care of. He wasn’t in his uniform, just regular clothes, his expression looked neutral, his shoulders less tense than usual.

He lingered there for less than five minutes I think, holding that man’s hand and talking to him with such a low tone I couldn’t catch a single word. That soldier’s conditions were pretty bad, I was told he was about to die and I assumed Levi was there to talk to him or just to say goodbye. I secretly imagined their conversation as I tried to stay focused on my patient. In the meantime, I foolishly believed Levi didn’t even perceive my presence, but when he stood up and walked past me, everything was suddenly crystal clear.

He knew I was there. He perfectly knew. It took a single, brief glance to express all the disappointment and disgust he was feeling toward me. Just one.

How I missed his old unreadable face.

I gulped and brought my eyes back on the soldier I was treating. I knew I probably hurt Levi, or maybe just his ego, but I didn’t expect that sudden nausea to grow again in my stomach.

I shouldn’t feel bad for him. I should feel bad for myself. Also, I only did him, us, a favor. A big favor. He’ll forget about me pretty soon. Stop thinking about him and just move on, Daphne. You made the right choice. No regrets, right?

When dinner time arrived, the nurses were practically forcing us all to take a break and go eat something, but my stomach was still upside down. As I was on my way to my bedroom, rhythmically exerting a little pressure on my biceps to relax a little, I sensed an arm hooking mine. Hange.

“Excuse me, Miss, where are you going? The food is in the opposite direction.” she said, softly smiling.

“I don’t really feel like eating right now…” I tried to evade her look.

“Are you unwell? I didn’t see you at breakfast, nor at lunch… Is everything okay? I mean, I know the expedition was rough and all-” she started to say, increasing the speed of her voice.

“No, no.” I interrupted her. “Don’t worry Hange, It’s just that I’m not hungry.”

“But you have to eat something. What about soup? It will warm you up a little if you’re not feeling well.” she suggested.

I sighed noisily, then just nodded. There was no way I could escape her. Hange always had her ways to convince people.

Luckily for me, there was still no sign of Levi when we entered the room. In the cafeteria, the air was tense and everyone was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The few who were chatting kept their voices low, the others were just staring somewhere on the floor or the table as they silently ate.

Hange and I took place with her fellows. It was so strange to not see Petra, Eld, Gunther and Oruo around. Even though I didn’t know all the soldiers I could feel those who were missing. I could feel an unbearable void.

And of course when I thought I was safe, suddenly Levi arrived. His unfazed facade was back on and he was still visibly limping.

I wonder if he changed his gauze this morning… Daphne, no. Don’t even try the nurse card now. Please, try to be professional.

As usual, he took his seat right in front of me, didn’t greet anyone, didn’t say a single word. Didn’t look at me. Not even once. Better, much better than that death look from earlier. Do not look at me. Do not talk to me.

“Finally! Levi, I didn’t see you at breakfast and lunch either. Where were you all?” Hange told him.

“Either who?” he calmly asked.

“Well, not even Daphne showed up. I’m just glad we are all here now. Together.” she sadly sighed.

I sensed Levi’s head tilting in my direction, but his eyes were still somewhere else. He probably had figured we were both trying to avoid each other. Or maybe I was the one making assumptions. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

“So, how are your legs?" Hange continued.

“Yes, Captain, how are your legs?” I imitated her with an unbothered tone, eyes fixed on my spoon as I raised it to take a sip.

“That should be my line.” said Levi.

I almost choked at his words, coughing and blushing visibly. This fucking asshole. So is this the game we’re playing now?

Hange immediately turned toward me, rubbing my back and asking me anxiously: “Did something happen to your legs too? Are you hurt? I knew something was wrong with you..."

I clicked my tongue and glanced at Levi, trying to show him all the anger pooling in my eyes. Then I replied nonchalantly: “Nothing serious. I'm good, Hange.”

I exhaled soundly, prey to that sudden frustration his words caused me, and decided to stand up from my chair.

“Sorry, I think I lost my appetite.” I added before I rushed out of the room. I don't have time for this bullshit.

Running off, I suddenly bumped into something. Something so hard I thought I was about to fall backward. Providentially two strong hands grabbed me by the shoulders before anything happened and I finally realized that hard wall was actually someone.

Ouch.

“Cadet, are you okay?” I heard someone saying.

I squinted my eyes, blinking as I tried to regain my composure. When I finally realized who was now in front of me, I just mumbled: “C-Commander, sorry, I wasn’t paying attention-”

“Don’t worry. Are you okay?” Erwin asked me again.

“I hope so...” I murmured in pain, rubbing my forehead. What is this man made of?? Bricks??

“Well, since you’re here, would you walk with me? I was kinda looking for you. Can you walk?” he calmly said.

What is it with everyone and my legs today? Wait, what?? He was looking… for me?

“Ehm, sure… I can walk.” I replied.

He nodded and beckoned me to join him as we started to walk along the hallway.

“So, how are you doing? Bump aside...” he asked with a soft voice.

“Vertical and breathing.” Daphne. Please, Daphne. Do not try to be sarcastic with your superior, for fuck’s sake.

“I-I mean, better than nothing. I’d live.” I corrected myself, not doing any better. When I side-eyed him I caught him lightly chuckling. Ok, that’s weird.

“Alright. I was informed about your contribution during the expedition. You did well.” he declared.

“I-I just… I just did what I had to do, sir.” Gosh, I sound like Levi.

“I’m glad to hear that.” added Erwin.

“I think now I get it… I-I get why you are fighting, what you are fighting for.” I don’t know why I told my biggest enemy that thing, but… I kind of needed to get it out of my chest.

He glanced at me, letting a small grin appear on his face, and then stopped in front of a massive door. Towering me with his height, the commander asked me: “Would you follow me inside my office? I’d like to continue this conversation in private. Just the two of us.”

Fuck. What have I just gotten myself into?

I nodded and shyly stepped inside the room behind him. At a first glance, his office was way bigger than Levi's. Every piece of furniture was made of dark solid wood. A big desk was right in the center, paired with his personal chair and two smaller ones on the opposite side, maybe for his occasional guests. On the right side of the room, there was a little green couch, some other shelves, a couple of paintings and maps hanging on the wall, and a door just ajar. His bedroom, probably. On the left, a huge library. I took a rapid glance at how every single book was perfectly aligned and ordered on each level. I was secretly trying to guess which of those concealed the poem Levi had told me the night before, imagining him browsing and picking up some books from there. But I was suddenly brought back to reality by Erwin’s voice when I heard him asking me:

“And tell me, how is it going with your comrades?”

As soon as he sat down at his desk I couldn't help but notice how solemn and handsome Erwin looked. His cheekbones were now illuminated by a little oil lamp beside him, his posture was regal, and his shoulders perfectly matched the two huge windows behind him. If possible, I was suddenly way more nervous than before.

“Oh, ehm… O-Okay, I think.” I stuttered.

“Have you noticed something strange with them?”

“No, sir. Not before what happened yesterday… When the spy came out and-”

He stopped my confused babbling only raising his palm and then asked: “And with your superiors? How is it going?”

Fuck. Me. Fuck me. No. No. No. C’mon Daphne, think fast. Say something.

“Ehm… I-I got the chance to interact with just a few of them… But, well, Hange has been very kind to me since the very beginning. She’s a great leader. She-” I started to say.

“What about your captain, Captain Levi?” he interrupted me again.

“What do you mean?” Here we go. Fuck. Here we go.

“You know he’s surveilling you on my account, right?” Erwin added.

He has been surveilling pretty closely, sir. That’s the problem.

“I’m well aware of that, sir.”

“And how is it going?” he questioned me.

It sucks because I think I like him, but I screwed up everything and now he hates me, but I don’t care because I’m not here for him, but actually I do care, like a lot, and now I don’t know what to do.

All I could say was: “Ehm, we had our ups and downs, but… Levi is a great captain. I respect him a lot.”

Even though it doesn’t seem like I do, considering that I left without a word after we fucked all night. But besides that, yes, I respect him a lot.

“Excellent. Excellent… Well, what I wanted to tell you was that I’ve been thinking about your situation recently… I thought deeply about it. All things considered, you behaved all this time. Except for that little accident…” he said lifting his gaze from his knuckles as he rested his elbows over his desk.

The Underground, I thought. I swallowed thickly.

“But you are also very disciplined, neat, always on time. You demonstrate to be skilled and smart. Or at least that’s what Levi has always claimed.”

I wonder if they talked about me even today. I wonder if he still thinks about me this way as a soldier even if he hates me…

“You contributed to the expedition and even survived the female titan.” the commander continued.

Geez, I’d like to know where he’s getting at with this conversation.

“So, I want to inform you that I’m willing to go a little easy on you. To loosen my grip.”

My eyes widened at the sound of his words.

“Just a little.” he added, gesturing a little space between his index and thumb, almost sarcastically.

My face fell after a second. He doesn’t think I’m that dumb, does he?

“I sense a but coming, Commander.”

“Buuuut. But. On one condition. I think Levi needs some rest and we still haven’t talked about his plans for you and Yeager given that his squad doesn’t exist anymore… However, we have to act as quickly as possible right now, and find the spy.” said Erwin.

I nodded to make sure he knew I was listening carefully.

“Since you were one of the few people to survive the female titan, your help is crucial right now. Therefore, I’ll personally ask you to do things for me, like cooperate with my subordinates and-”

“Yes. Yes, absolutely.” I hurried to say. Calm down, you stupid. “Ehm, I mean, sure. I’ll do it. Tell me what I have to do and I’ll do it.”

“Good. Good.”

He made a little pause, standing up from his desk. Then, walking toward me, he spoke again: “You’ll run some errands for me, bring me things, reports or papers from time to time, so just know that this office’s doors are always open for you.”

Should I be afraid of all this sudden kindness from the Commander? Or does he just need a lot of help?

I nodded again, then added: “Thanks, Commander.”

His shoulders relaxed and his eyes traveled down my body, examining my figure from head to toe.

“I saw you staring at the library earlier. Do you like reading?” he asked, moving his gaze toward the bookshelf.

“Honestly, I’ve never read a book, sir. I know how to read and write, but the only things I’ve ever read were...” Shit, how do I put this… “My… My former employer’s documents and letters. Pretty boring stuff.”

“I see.” He eyed me again, intertwining his hands behind his back, taking quite an authoritarian posture. “Well, feel free to take as many as you want from my library. Just remember to put them back afterward.”

“Really? I mean, I-” I blubbered, moving my hands anxiously. Can you not embarrass yourself for once, Daphne?

“Take one now.” he ordered me.

I gulped. “Ehm, okay.”

“I’ll take my leave now. I have a meeting with Hange. I suggest you find Wim and my other subordinates tomorrow morning. They’ll give you instructions about our research.”

I only nodded, following him with my eyes as he walked toward the door. But before he exited the room I spoke again: “Commander… Thank you again for your trust.”

If I behave and act accordingly, Erwin may even become my pass out of here. How the tables have turned...

He slightly rotated his head over his shoulder, softly smiled at me, and then just left without a word.

When the door closed, I started to walk back and forth in front of the library for a while, wondering which one to choose. Half of them were war-related books, from the theoretical ones to actual novels, and even poems collections. A little part of me was still looking for that particular one, the one Levi was talking about the night before, but I knew that was the one I should definitely have to avoid. There were so many I didn’t know which one to pick.

Take a short one, just to see if you like reading stories or not. Just pick one and leave, for fuck’s sake.

At some point, I noticed a little book with a pretty fancy cover, it looked like it was a part of a bigger collection of fictions. That’s it. I’ll start with this one.

As I walked to my bedroom I realized how late it was getting, the sky was darker than before and I thought maybe going to sleep earlier wasn’t a bad idea. I had hours of sleep to recover. But once in my room I figured that was easier said than done. Of course, all I could do was think about Levi, that night we spent together, and how twenty-four hours could make such a difference.

That book I took from Erwin’s shelf was a blessing. It helped me to distract myself, even though, from time to time, Levi’s face appeared between the lines. Whenever I brought my digit to my mouth to wet it or just touched the page to turn it I believed I could still feel his skin and the thought alone made me go insane. However, the story was so fascinating I read it all in one breath until I fell asleep still holding it in my hands. Without it, I would have probably stayed up all night thinking about him.

And then another day came, another day of Levi totally ignoring me. And then another one. And another one. Almost an entire week passed and his eyes were still injected with hate and other things I couldn’t figure out yet.

Luckily, the days after the expeditions were - to use a euphemism - busy. I went back and forth from Erwin’s office to update him about our research and progress, bringing him papers, letters, and whatever he needed. Even coffee or tea sometimes.

It came out that Armin had a theory about the spy, a really good one, and the commander decided to trust his intuition. From that moment the kid cooperated with us to see if that was the right path to follow.

I hardly ever happened to be at HQ, yet every time I set my foot there, it always seemed as if fate wanted me to accidentally meet Levi. It happened that I saw him even just walking by, for a few seconds or that we both ended up being in the same room, for several minutes or hours, even just a meter away from one another. His lips were always stitched and the few times they parted it was only to weave a few, cold, and terrible words against me. His eyes ignored me, like I was not in his line of sight, and whenever they found me, even from a distance, it was just to throw me deadly glances. Ignoring me was so deafening that I almost had the impression that all his attention was upon me.

So is this how it will go from now on?

[ AN: Guys, just to clarify, Daphne’s/your nausea is caused by the whole situation, she’s/you’re not pregnant, just stressed. Also, I know I shouldn’t be here explaining the story, but I hope no one is hating on Daphne right now. Poor girl, she is so scared of her feelings since she never felt like this and also feels like she betrayed her sisters (and herself somehow). However, stick around because the next chapters are going to be pretty animated. How do you think Levi is doing right now? I’m genuinely curious. Hope you’re all doing well and enjoying the story so far. See you next time! ]