#idk the ship name yet but once i do ill tag them as that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

obscureother · 8 months ago

Text

🌑 ˚x'˙ intro. . ??

Hello. . !! im new to tumblr, so sorry if wonky things happen while im setting this up. im still trying to figure things out guys-

i lurk on other accounts for general content but im closeted n shy so i made this one to yell about things instead so i don’t expose myself to people i know lolol

if you know or find other profiles i own, i request you not expose it for those reasons before im comfortable to.

so this is just an f/o blog/journaling. . thing. I'm not entirely sure what content will be here, but it will be centered around f/os, self-shipping, and its just to give me a place to yell about the people that live in my/your brain rent-free and know they don’t exist but we pretend they do anyway for comfort reasons and serotonin, dopamine, uhh what other things feel good and ok??

some of it will be for you if I happen to think of something, other times it is for me to explode over my fixation f/os!!

youre also welcome to come yell about your f/os if you just need someone to talk to them about!! dont think i know em?? COME OVER and INTRODUCE THEM. you can come in DMs, asks, or however you want to!! id be happy to know your f/o or listen to you talk about them if no one else will :00

This is a comfort blog to me, so there wont be any room for meanness or intended offenses here. Dont come to me with troublesome things or somehow twist/morph my content into something its not, we're just here to have a cool time with our fictional people, bro. . :((

ok who r you tho:

To be honest, I don’t have a name or something to go by as of posting this, I might get one later or just make a new comment all fancy for the pin. . For now you can just call me whatever you deem good or just go off my blog/username!! Don’t be mean tho. i may take one you guys think of or figure it out on my own.

they/them

im 21 yo. (if youre a minor, i dont mind you coming to say hello, but do look below the other stuff content for what you need to look out for. you should also know some of you goofy kiddos have energies i dont know how to respond to sometimes, so dont worry if i get awkward or something, its not your fault lolol.)

im in college, so forgive me if im slow, im also just not on tumblr very often :v i dont ghost people on purpose i swEaR-

i might post my f/os on a whole list, idk yet, but theyll prolly be mentioned sometimes to the very least. you can def ask of them tho!! (edited: i made an f/o list if you want to see them.)

i dont know if ill post content of my own f/os or me/my sona for them, but it could be there.

i dont mind sharing f/os!! id love to yell about them together. if you dont like that, then its ok!! i either wont talk about them with you so you can be their person when we talk of them, or you can just block/not interact. ill be sad i dont get to meet you, but its ok.

other stuff:

Nothing explicit/detailed will normally be posted. but: The worst there will be is just being hormonally silly from kind of "rrr ovaries go brr, chew on theM-" energy of my f/os. i will try to create a tag to mark it with so you can exclude honky content if you want or need to later, tho. from what i know, you can "block" tags. . so i think that will work if you like the other goofy stuff on the blog??

(edited: I DID IT, I DID THEM, LOOK: 🌑obscure tags list for the obscure blog )

NSFW talk can be in DMs, tho.

DO NOT come to me with those concepts if youre a minor tho, oh dear GOD. honky grown-up talk is not for you goofy child-folk.

LGBTQ+ friendly!! im nonbinary and love everybody. youre ok too. 💙

i do roleplay sometimes, but only in dms n please dont go exposing our roleplays to others. . i would be very not comfy :"0

if you want to roleplay, you can dm me to ask but i dont have to say yes or i might not be able to. im slow too dfsdf=

i may or may not make a side blog once i figure out how to do stuff, but know that until then, im going to just post whatever on this one til i know how to do things on tumblr lolol.

forgive me if some of my content gets deleted, edited, whatever as we go. like i said, this whole thing is very new to me and its not very organized for now. its just there. its gonna get wonky over here on my side for a bit.

• tiny bat gif •

#f/o community #introduction #f/o blog #blog intro

25 notes · View notes

justsomeoneunordinary · 2 years ago

Note

Kakashi for this one? 👀

https ://at .tumblr .com /justsomeoneunordinary/send-me-a-character-and-ill-answer-these/vjolyf8nlo70

1: sexuality headcanon

that man is SO aroace, hands down. that doesn't even need an explanation, just look at him!

unless he's being railed by gai, in which case he isn't quite so ace anymore uwu

2: otp

kakagai kakagai kakagai kakagai kaKAGAI KAKAGAI-

3: brotp

in my heart, he and tenzou are brothers. he totally behaves like an older brother around him, esp when he's being a little shit lol, i just love their relationship so much

4: notp

never liked kakairu and never will. also used to be open for obikaka but i cannot see it anymore tbh. makes me sick nowadays. (but the naruto fandom def has a problem with tagging their ships properly bc i keep seeing so many notps all the time argh) honestly, i don't rlly ship kks with anyone except with gai. i find him very unshippable idk....

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

he's a biter. not the fanon hatake = wolves hc kinda biting bc i hate that hc (kishi didn't give us much but he gave us enough to conclude that hatake = farmers, not wolves or nomads ffs do ppl not at least google the names before they come up with hc's or what), but the as a child he used to bite anyone kinda thing, so his father gave him a mask and kks just never stopped wearing it. he still bites as soon as it comes off

6: favorite line from this character

i am terrible at rmbr'ing lines but when he meets team 7 and his reaction is "my first impression of you is... i hate you all" is the fucking funniest shit to me. first, he lets those 12yo kiddos wait for hours and then has the gall to tell them he hates them lmfao king shit i love him (also, what a lying liar. they're his kiddos and he loves them)

7: one way in which I relate to this character

slouch king <3 i too, can't walk or sit with my back straight. also, reading porn in public. relatable

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

lmao in shippuuden where he had to read a section out loud of his porn book and the line was literally just "i love you" but he practically died trying to say it, face red, sweat running down, stuttering and all that jazz acbsjfhsjfhdjfbajfb IT'S LITERALLY JUST I LOVE YOU, IT'S NOT EVEN SMTH SMUTTY FFS KKS YOU'RE A GROWN MAN!!! also the sheer amount of times he collapses bc of chakra exhaustion like pls king that's not normal, no one else pushes their chakra to the limit you fucking drama queen. i'll never forget that one time sakura sees him at ichiraku's and goes "oh, not in the hospital for once? that's new" lmfaooooo get recc'd. ALSO kks of the sharingan has copied over a thousand jutsu AND YET WE ONLY EVER SEE HIM USE CHIDORI!! BRUH WHERE ARE THOSE 1000 JUTSU, WHERE???!!! how abt you stop using that sharingan of yours that drains you so much of chakra just to copy jutsu that you then don't even intend to use, hmmmmm??? lmao he's a genuis but he's so dumb

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

neither? all village ninja's are basically the military of a fascist state, and all deserted ninjas are killers without actual permission to kill, so given the universe everyone is problematic. you could say bc he's one of the good guys he's the former but he's also such a loyal bootlicker (i love him but god kks the way he doesn't question the system at all even after everything that happened to him is so... acbjshdjsfh) so you could say he's problematic in that sense??? you can't rlly put any nart character into either of this category tbh

#thank you sesil 🥦♥️♥️#rabentochter #may answers

8 notes · View notes

snoozeagustd · 2 years ago

Text

𝟤𝟢𝟢 𝐹𝒪𝐿𝐿𝒪𝒲𝐸𝑅𝒮 𝒮𝐿𝐸𝐸𝒫𝒪𝒱𝐸𝑅

TWO HUNDRED MF FOLLOWERS?!! I FEEL ABSOLUTELY INSANE RN!!!

I'm not sure what to feel. Flattered? Absolutely. Honoured? Definitely.

But I admit I’m also a bit confused; must’ve been doing something right if I’ve reached this milestone, huh?

No, but seriously, I want to say thank you to everyone. Words aren't sufficient to express how I feel right now, but without you all, I never would have gotten this far. For that, once again, I sincerely thank all 200 of you.

to celebrate, I've decided to do a little sleepover with you guys! This sleepover will start now and end on the 3rd Oct GMT+8.

all posts related to this event will be tagged as #nixie hits 200!

since you guys seemed to enjoy the games last time, i've decided to bring some of them them back, along with a couple of new ones!!!

(older games)

💕 shipping game: send me a description of yourself/a fun fact + a fandom (BTS or TXT only. No stray kids because i dont know the members very well yet) and i’ll ship you with a member! (anon is allowed)

🕹️ games: any of your typical tumblr sleepover games! (fmk, would you rather, top 5___, cym or anything else you can think of!) (anon is allowed)

🔖 recommendations (from you) : send me any recommendations you have for tv shows, movies, books, songs, tumblr blogs, etc! (anon is allowed)

📑 recommendations (from me): i'll recommend you tv shows, movies, books, songs, tumblr blogs, etc! (you can tell me what you want a recommendation for or i'll just choose a category for you) (off anon please)

📢 shout outs: recommend some of your own fics or just some fics you love so we can show appreciation for all these amazing writers here on tumblr! (anon is allowed)

❤ first love: share some crush/love stories with me! (anon is allowed)

(new games!!)

🖼 moodboard: send me a bts/txt member and a word/prompt from this list and ill make you a moodboard or a small edit (ill accept prompts that are not mentioned in the list that i have made but i might not make something if i cant find inspiration for it)

🎨 colour/emoji association: send me a colour/emoji and i’ll tell you which BTS/TXT member i associate with it and why

🎧 music association: send me a song you associate with me and i’ll give you a random song off my ‘on repeat’ playlist

Below this, I’m just going to tag some of my friends here on tumblr who have made my time here super super fun and memorable! I am truly grateful and appreciative to all of you!

@jjkeverlast @istanfluffycontent @yourlocaltimetraveler @urmiibby @namkook @hawtymin @sugarwithtea @hobipost @kookiecrumb @parkdatjimin @bebejungkook @smasmashie @thetaeprint @xpeachesncream @liyacreate @kaitioo @glamrocklevi @angeladore @just-another-fangirl-69 @buckyinluv @henry-and-the-seven-lords@poetic-dumbass @obeythebutler @adoveamongdemons @this-bitch-needs-therapy @incorrectlyavenged @youlightmeupfinn @somniprobe

@tea-is-vibing @eternallydaydreaming2015 @mochakat @internetoverdose01 @satandrankmy-coffee @gunpowdermilkshake-main @gimmethatagustd @kimtaesss @bangtanintotheroom @underratedbitch-number13 @pjiminbloomx @yoongukie-ff @skyfull0fstories @sunshinerainbowsbts @still-with-koo @chryblossomjjk @7deadlysinsfics @mercurygguk @daechwitatamic @sahmfanficbts @usertae @haliiimede @joondiary @mxckiemxn @suryanwesha@ffion451@meirkive

@shina913@taegisms@here2bbtstrash@allorareverz@btsgotjams27@sugarwithtea-reads @koostarcandy @here4btsfics @kookieswan @taleasnewastime @armys-dna @winterseoul @lesbianslovejhope @sopekooks @pjmsdior @blog-name-idk @jkshandsomegirlfriend @lustfulpjm @vminsos @jeonspub @hobateas @fluffyydumplings @20smthn @kimchokejin @ambivartence @wrote-my-own-deliverance

to the rest of my followers: i really suck at words but i wanna say that i appreciate all of you so so much!! i see you and recognize you in my notifs and i love you al!! 💖💕

#nixie speaks #200 followers milestone!#nixie hits 200!#i literally cant believe this #like my first milestone was only in july and now its sept #i am shook #thank you sm u guys

40 notes · View notes

daisy--sorbet · 4 years ago

Note

heyyy, hope you’re having a good night!! if you have the energy and feel okay answering, what’s up w taz graduation? i haven’t checked it out yet but i was thinking ab it. just asking bc you’re the first person i saw talk ab the show having serious issues, but also feel free to not answer this!! hope you have a good week!

i took a nice hot bath, had a strawberry kiwi capri-sun, and did a nice face mask and i’m feeling pretty good - so, y’know what anon? let’s talk about it.

for anyone who likes taz grad who sees this post: it’ll be tagged with “taz grad hate” (although i feel hate is definitely a very strong word - it’s for the simplicity of tagging it) - so please block the tag if you don’t want to see this post (especially because i put a readmore on a post before and it didn’t show up on mobile and instead gave the full post). mobile tumblr has a tag blocking system, so please feel free to use it! i don’t mind haha

anyway, so this is... probably going to be a lost post, and i wanna go ahead and preface it: this absolutely isn’t any hate on the mcelroys themselves. i love the brothers and their dad a lot, and while i doubt any of them would ever see this (or have it sent to them, or shown to them, because im pretty sure they try to distance themselves from this sort of thing), i just want to make it clear that criticizing a product is different than bashing a person. which brings me to the point of if i do end up sounding as if im bashing someone - please call me out on it! it’s not my intention to target anyone.

with that said, let’s talk about this campaign.

so my problems are as thus: the railroading, the shipping (a fandom problem, but it’s present in the podcast), the NPCs, and some misc problems others have addressed better than i have.

which. i know. that’s basically the entire podcast. (i promise i’ll bring up some positive points to balance it all out). keep in mind i’ve only personally listened to... what, six episodes? and it was enough for me to drop it. some people dropped it first ep, some dropped it ep four, and others are still forcing themselves to listen.

the railroading

there was a time i could handle travis and his railroading [making sure the story goes exactly the way he has planned], because it was the very beginning of the podcast and that’s what you can kind of expect from a plot-heavy podcast. hell, i wouldn’t mind it if the interactions and goofs weren’t a huge part of why i listen to TAZ in particular (which, by the way, is why amnesty still stuck out to me - even if there was a direction griffin wanted to push them towards, the interactions between the players (or players and npcs) made up for any railroading). it’s kind of hard to not railroad a little when it’s story-heavy and you’re trying to built up a world that you’ve put a lot of thought into. however, a huge part of d&d is the spontaneity.

it’s kind of why i think balance was so popular. while there was railroading towards the end, there was the presence of improv that made it all good. most mcelroy content is enjoyed because of the goofs. the magic brian moment is memorable. the jenkin’s fight still stands out because it was funny (albeit a result of some bad rolls). the boys teasing angus sticks out because the four would play well off of each other. even without that - griffin had talked about how he had to roll with things (the fact he had planned for a fight atop the train, but ditched the idea for what his family members came up with instead). even in amnesty, a couple moments that stick out to me still are ned with the jetpack taking out a pizza hut sign, and the scene with the water where jake was trapped inside. they aren’t as fun, but they still stand out as “things i didnt expect to really end the way they did.”

with grad, it’s just. one after another. the thundermen want to subpoena a xorn? cool, let’s run with that until actually the xorn gets fed rocks and goes home and who cares about the subpoena now. fitzroy wants to keep his cloak? lets talk about it for a while and you also get no rolls to even try to keep it. fitzroy goes to meet higglemas in his office? oh, why are you here fitzroy? im going to keep asking you until you answer fitzroy? you arent getting out of this scene until you answer me, fitzroy, so just tell me why you’re here already, alright, fitzroy?

and even later in a episode i read a transcript of: hey argo, remember how you have this whole secret motivation? fuck you, im gonna talk about it here in your dream and reveal it to listeners and remove any tension you had building up, and you dont get a choice to talk about it because this all-knowing villain knows all about it :)

and even NOW in the latest episode, there’s a comment that “we should cap argo’s skills here” instead of just... making the checks higher. rogues are good at certain things and usually arent the best in battles. better hope argo never makes it to level 11, because who knows how people are gonna handle the fact that he gets a skill that’ll make it so certain skills can’t have a roll below 10 (reliable talent).

(griffin, thankfully, calls travis out for that, but still - travis, why would you even imply that, considering you should be aware of how rogues work considering magnus multiclassed into rogue and you played one on tiny heist?)

and in the newest episode, their Big Bad chaos (which, god, i personally hate that name) straight-out says “dont do this” to the thundermen. travis tries to say, on twitter, “a character saying “dont do this” is different than me saying it” but i need to point out that it’s one thing if you’ve said “no” in character but worked with the PCs doing otherwise, but the railroading says differently.

the shipping

ill try to make this quick, because it’s nothing to do with the fandom (ship however you want, man) - but i really feel the need to draw attention to this.

fitzroy, as confirmed by griffin in a ttazz episode, is asexual. not aroace, but ace nonetheless. and i find it... troublesome that the idea of rainer and fitzroy having a relationship is still pushed nonetheless, despite the fact that fitzroy (to my knowledge) was never once shown to reciprocate any feelings. not to be that person, but i really hope that grad doesnt have any sort of romantic relationships in it (at least - not between NPCs and PCs unless they’re actually like... warranted?).

i dont know, man. one of my closest friends is ace, and i know she wants a relationship, but i think it would reassure her a lot to see an ace character who isn’t pushed into one in case she ever changes her mind. someone once mentioned that they hope fi/tz/ra/in doesnt happen because theres relationships that have that “oh, you can just date” and it goes upwards there to “oh, you can have sex just to please them <3″ (which, to be honest, is kind of a gross mindset - if someone isnt interested, they arent interested).

also, uh, the TTAZZ where griffin states this, there’s kind of the mention tht the whole sexuality question was posed in relation to the episode “creative thinking” (the dream one i mentioned earlier) - which. uh. i don’t know if anyone caught this, but... rainer straight-up wrote fitzroy a letter in the dream like “are you going to accept my proposal? a girl doesn’t like to be left waiting” which. leaves me with some gross feelings because uh.

if... if the whole thing about fitzroys sexual orientation was addressed here, then why would you push your ship anyway? feels kinda iffy, man.

to which i want to say: fitzroy can date. he’s allowed to date. griffins allowed to do whatever he wants with his character. but when a lot of the flirting is met with nothing, i’m not gonna see the chemistry there. just because travis ships it doesn’t mean it’s canon.

the npcs

ah yes. lets talk about the npcs.

there’s... a lot. a lot a lot. i think travis trimmed down how many were present in a scene, but uh. there’s still a lot. and... uh... i kinda wish there wasn’t?

look, i know im going back to balance/amnesty, but just. hang in there for a moment. chill with me. vibe.

balance didnt have too many NPCs present at all times in each mini-arc. gerblins had some big names like barry, klarg, gundren, killian, yeemick, and magic brian. rockport limited had angus, jess, graham the juicy wizard jenkins, and all of the tom bodetts mentioned.

amnestys first arc had mama, barclay, jake, dani, pigeon, kirby, minerva, and that was about it for like. big names? and not all of them were present in each scene.

in the first episode of grad alone: gary, hernandez, jimson, rolandus, zana, rhodes, buckminster eden, rainer, leon, tomas, hieronymous, higglemas, stuart, jackle, bartholomeus, mulligan, groundsy, germaine/victoria/rattles (the skeleton crew). and those are the ones i wrote down (minus groundsy, who i just. ignores. idk him).

like holy shit, my english prof got onto me for having too many characters in my first chapter and i didnt even have half the amount listed there!

it’s just a huge cast. does this take place in a school? yes! theres bound to be a lot of students present - but you don’t have to name every single one of them, at least not in the first episode!

the miscellaneous

i don’t know if travis ever actually addressed it, but wheelchair users have actually like... said that rainer’s introduction bothered them, because she was like “please ask me abt my wheelchair :)” when travis saying she was in an ornate chair would have sufficed.

uh. the colonization vibes people have discussed within the centaur arc. mentioned here, the replies here, and this post (and its replies) here as well.

the overall lack of d&d when the campaign was kind of advertised as a return to d&d if i remember correctly

also no one seems to be taking literally any criticism at all which like. ignoring the petty shit, sure, but people have stopped donating to taz and their listener-ship must have dropped some during this entire time - you’d think that maybe someone could say “we need to find out why people dont like the thing and fix the thing” consider this is. yknow. their livelihood.

anyway uhhh

tl;dr: travis railroads way too much (even now), the shipping in-game has become pushy and gross (especially bc its shoving a relationship onto an asexual character), theres too many npcs that dont stand out well enough, and no ones taking any criticism about the major issues with grad.

#taz grad hate #taz graduation hate #Anonymous #ok im gonna go to sleep now goodnight #maybe ill wake up to hate tbh that'll be wild

5 notes · View notes

ravens-rambling · 6 years ago

Text

It’s time Thomas stops running

A/N: Hey so I got inspired randomly and wrote this. I’m not even sure if this is cannonly how it went down in the au but I was thinking of Spiderverse’s Peter and how he was scared to have kids with MJ, so he ran. Again not sure if this is something Thomas would actually do or not but idk. Also, I just realized this is my first fic with the perspective of Thomas! Would you look at that! Hopefully, I got MJ’s character right XD

Spiderverse Au belongs to @sugarglider9603 and @ask-spiderverse-virgil

summary: Thomas ran. He's run before and now he’s doing it again. He can’t help it, but last time...last time it ended a friendship. A relationship. And now he’s worried that once again he’ll ruin it. Can one of his sons calm him down enough to face his fears? Or will he run until he can’t run anymore... and find that once again he is alone?

WC: 2,49

ships: uuhhh idk what the ship name for Thomas and MJ is so yeah, Platonic LAMP, mentions of RED

warnings: Crying, hurt/comfort, mentions of anxiety attacks, mentions of breakup,

Tag List: @punsterterry @frostedlover @stormcrawler75 @mutechild @mycatshuman @panicattheeverywhere15 @thewinterbookqueen @analogical-mess @saddestlittlebabe

Oh, he screwed up, he screwed up badly. Now he’s screwed up a lot of things in his life. Let’s…not go down that gigantic list. The point is right here, right now, he messed up. And he’s not sure if he can fix it this time.

It’s been an issue for a while now if he had to be honest. It’s why his previous boyfriend broke up with him really. But recently it was brought up again and he’s not ready to face it yet again. He’s just not. Sure he has more of a support group going for him this time. But that just means there is more on the line.

More to be scared about. More to worry.

What is the thing he’s oh so worried about?

MJ wants to have a kid.

Now, now, he knows what you’re thinking. Oh, won’t that be good? That would mean taking it to the next step right? MJ loves you that much that he wants to share the love you two have.

That’s not the point.

The point is…is that he’s Spiderman. He’s a hero.

Which means he has a lot of villains that would love to hurt him and anybody he cares about. Also…hes not sure he’s ready for that.

If he had to be honest with himself…he's scared. Scared that he won’t make a good father. Scared that he screwed it up and hurts the kid or MJ, even more than he has right now of course. Scared that this kid would be dragged into his problems. Scared for so so many things.

He’s not sure he can take that on.

Now, of course, he does have well, sort of, four kids now. But he’s trained them well they know how to handle themselves if push comes to shove. But this kid? This kid would be defenseless. This kid won’t know anything about defending itself. MJ, on the other hand, …well he’s MJ he knows full well how to take care of himself. But would he be able to defend their kid if something happens and he can’t get there in time?

He’s not sure…

Now he is not doubting MJ at all. He is strong. Stronger than Thomas could ever dream of being. He has dealt with so much over his life that it puts Thomas’s life to shame. That’s not his worry his worry is the fact that his enemies are supervillains which means they have powers.

No matter how strong MJ is he isn’t superpowered strong.

And heaven forbid if something happens to MJ and their kid? Oh… He doesn’t know if he can take it. It would crush him. Worse than losing the kiddos. Worse than losing himself. He just…can't do that. He can’t risk that.

So what did he do? He ran.

Just like the last time this happened. He ran with his tail between his legs and didn’t look back.

Go on you can say it, he knows it, he’s a coward. A coward that is too scared to face the music. A coward who always runs. A coward who can’t even face his emotions. All he does is run. Run from bad guys. Run from love. Run from a slim chance at a happy life for him. Run from a family.

The last guy he was with…didn’t like that. He didn’t like that he ran and kept running. No… He got tired eventually and kissed their relationship goodbye.

That’s what’s gonna happen with the two right? MJ will realize he is tired of running after him, tired of making sacrifices for a guy that’s not worth the trouble, and finally, move on. Maybe it’s for the best… Maybe…this love thing won’t work out, in the end, no matter what he does…

Yeah… Maybe not…

Thomas glanced down to his phone with another sigh, the same ringtone he has for MJ filling the night air. He breathed out as he ran a hand through his hair and looked back out to the city lights, ignoring it.

Eventually, he’ll get tired of chasing after him…

Eventually-

“There you are.”

With dark, tired, almost teary eyes he looked over his shoulder to see the familiar figure of a white dressed teen with his hoodie up… Virgil…

Maybe he’ll get tired of him eventually too, right?

Maybe he’ll realize he isn’t such a good mentor or dad figure… Maybe they all will realize that someday. Cause that’s what he is… A disappointment.

“Dude? Dude, Earth to Thomas.”

Thomas jumped as he blinked and suddenly Virgil was a lot closer than before but he still kept his distance, thankfully. Slowly Virgil smiled and walked closer to him, and even more slowly took a seat beside him his feet dangling off the edge.

And with that, he took off his mask letting the hood fall down and looked over to Thomas with a small smile his hair all over the place and a worried look in his dark brown eyes, “What’s up, dad? MJ is pretty worried after you stormed off. Well, actually that’s an understatement more like frantically calling between all our phones and yelling our ears off when we pick up.”

His heart pricked with worry and anger at himself at hearing how frantic MJ is. He’s never like that even when he isn’t home after a few nights…

Yeah… A runner…

“It’s just…” He sighed and looked back towards the city breathing in and out. Virgil was silent as he gathered up his thoughts. Thankfully he didn’t look at him as he did so simply looking out at the city as well. They sat there for a few minutes enjoying the silence. Until Thomas broke it again.

“You know I love you guys right?”

“Yeah? Like kids yes we know.”

“Do… Do you know why I broke it off with my last boyfriend?”

“He wasn’t good enough for you?”

“No… No that wasn’t it… Not at all…”

He took a shaky breath. Guess he’ll have to actually say it. He’s never really talked about this, not to a single soul…

“The reason was…he wanted to have kids… A-And I got scared. I got scared cause I knew the risks and I wasn’t ready. I’m still not…”

“And MJ wanted that? To have kids?”

“Yeah… That’s what he wanted to talk about. He thought we could adopt. Even showed me some pictures of these cute kids from that nice orphanage but it just… I’m still not ready, Virgil. I don’t think I’ll ever be. And that’s not fair for MJ. He deserves better he deserves-”

“Now I’m gonna stop you right there, dad.”

The serious tone of the teen made Thomas whip towards him. He’s never heard Virgil this serious before. And oh boy the spark that went through the kid's eyes. Yep, he’s deadly serious.

“First off, self-deprecation is my thing. Don’t go stealing my thing. Second off, this is MJ. He will understand more than you know trust me, okay? He’s not like the last guy. If you are serious about never wanting kids MJ will never leave you just for that, you got it? MJ isn’t like that and never will be. Third off, who says you won’t be a good dad? I mean you have four teens right? And yes,” He cut off Thomas as he opened his mouth, “with you being a superhero and everything there are even more risks. But honestly… Thomas,” His eyes grew teary at this one and he breathed out.

“You are the best dad anybody can ask for. You are the best boyfriend anybody can ask for. Most importantly,” He paused at this and smiled reaching forward to touch Thomas’s leg, “You are the best friend anybody could ask for.”

Oh… Oh dear…

Before Thomas could even help it or realize what he was doing he started crying hard. Tears tore down his cheeks. And before he could stop himself he lunged at Virgil his arms wrapping around the thin male as he sobbed harshly.

“There, there dad. It’s gonna be alright. Oh and I forgot to mention, this kid, they won’t have just you and MJ protecting them. They will have all four of us, I’m sure even Dolion, Remy, and Emile, will be on their asses if they so much as touch your kid. Understand?”

That made Thomas cry even harder. All his fears all his worries Virgil just presented on the table and he cleared through every one of them. He didn’t know where his son got so intelligent but oh boy was it something. Even he was impressed…

Yeah… He was impressed with his son.

They spent what felt like hours up on that tall building the background of the city and his cries the only thing that filled the air. Virgil holding him the entire time even rocking them gently and playing with Thomas' hair to ground him… Just like what he does during one of Virgil’s attacks…

Until finally his sobs quieted down until it was just hiccups. Very slowly he started breathing back to his normal self again.

“You okay there?”

“Y-Yeah… Sorry for crying on you.”

“Hey, 'tis payback for all the times I’ve cried on you. So we’re good now.”

Thomas chuckled as he drew away from their hug grimacing as he saw all the tears and snot on Virgil’s outfit, “Sorry about that. I’ll do the laundry this time.”

Virgil looked down and chuckled waving his hand, “No, it’s fine dad. I’m serious. Also, your laundry detergent isn’t very good anyways. I’ll take at least three loads to get this out if I leave it to you.”

“Yep… Sounds about right,” He laughed as he wiped his eyes then sighed again.

“Thank you, Virge… For all of that… It meant a lot to me.”

“Yeah, sure whatever. Don’t tell Roman I got all sentimental I’ll never hear the end of it. Now,” He put back on his mask as he stood up. Thomas glanced up to see him extending a hand and though he couldn’t see his lips he could tell he was smiling.

With his own smile, he took it and stood up.

“You have a boyfriend to talk to,” And with that, he did his signature two-fingered wave and ran off the side of the building. Thomas watched as he slingshotted through the night air.

He supposes he does…

With new found energy in his eyes, he put on his mask and started making his way towards MJ's place. Though before he does he's got to make one detour…

Once he got to his door he breathed out a nervous breath. Would MJ be angry at him for just leaving quickly like that? Would he forgive him for just bailing? Oh, maybe this was a mistake… Maybe-

The door opened and his heart skipped a beat as he saw the familiar orange curls and his freckled face, though his heart stopped for a completely other reason when he saw the tear stains going down that same freckled cheeks.

“Thomas! Oh god. I was so worried,” And before Thomas could even take a breath again he was practically tackled to the floor in a hug and his eyes pricked with tears once again, “Don’t ever do that again! I thought you were mad at me! Or worse that you got hurt somewhere since you weren’t answering any of our calls. Oh god were you hurt? Please tell me you weren’t hurt. Oh god-”

“MJ. MJ, I’m fine I promise,” Thomas chuckled.

“Good… Okay… You don’t look like your injured… Yeah…” Now he was backing up from the hug tears still coming down. Then he huffed and smacked his arm playfully and gently.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For making me worry you selfish little prick! I thought you were angry at me and never coming back. God… Thomas, I thought I would never see you again…”

And if that didn’t break Thomas' heart he didn’t know what would. He felt like his heart was bleeding as he gulped.

“Well… Virgil helped me… And… We have something to discuss… Well, a lot of things but first…” He showed the huge flower bouquet that was hidden behind his back, it was covered with different colors of roses. All the colors of the rainbow. He smiled as he waited for the others reaction as he mumbled, “This is for making you worried. I’m sorry.”

MJ gasped loudly and started crying even harder which caused Thomas to suddenly get worried all over again.

“No, wait! You're not supposed to cry! Why are you crying? Do you not like it? I can return it! I just thought-”

“Shut up you gay disaster and kiss me.”

“Wait what-”

Before he could finish his sentence lips smacked against his with a loud thud noise. Thomas slowly closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around MJs waist. They leaned into each other as the kiss ticked by. And slowly all the tension and nervousness that engulfed Thomas bones just a moment ago evaporated just like that. MJ wasn’t mad with him.

He came chasing after him…

And just as soon as the kiss started it ended and they both looked at each other their eyes sparkling with energy for each other. And they smiled and giggled.

“Okay, pretty boy get inside so we can talk and so I can put these roses in a vase. I’m sure the neighbors would love to hear more of our little conversation.”

“Yeah… That sounds lovely.”

With that MJ took Thomas free hand and led him inside. They certainly did have a lot to talk about, but Thomas wasn’t as scared or worried about it as before. He felt a certain calm through his body as he stepped into the house and closed the door.

Yeah...He's not running again.

“Did he go in?”

“Yes, Roman, he went in.”

“He did? Yay! I was so worried about him.”

“Yes, Pat you won’t shut up about it. Can we please get out of this bush now? Roman, you are on top of me.”

“Oh, hush nerd. You complain too much.”

“Now now boys don’t argue. Yes, Lo-Lo we can leave now.”

“Thank god.”

As the two teens left one grumbling while the other yelled at him the pastel wearing teen paused in his tracks.

“Virge?”

“Yeah?”

“Nice work. I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks, Pat.”

207 notes · View notes

laufire · 5 years ago

Note

You don't have to do this at all but I'm intrigued by your "favourites" tags and I was wondering if you'd break them down?

No problem! I think I remembered them all (but since I keep adding new ones, then forgetting again about them, who knows lol).

favourites: a straight line

Okay, so this is kind of a hard one because it’s mostly a… ~vibe thing. It’s from a quote by Person of Interest –specifically, The Machine telling Shaw that Root loved her because “if we were shapes, you were an arrow, a straight line”, and I just… loved it. So it goes to character that had that sort of… clear-sighted, straightforward something, that cut through the bullshit.

favourites: birds of a feather

From the saying “birds of a feather flock together”. It’s basically used for my ships where the members reflect and parallel each other (especially when it’s a case where fandom convention classifies them as “opposites”).

favourites: cute married couples

Self-explanatory, I think, tho by virtue of the fandoms I frequent lately I haven’t used it much xD

favourites: fucked up families

Also self-explanatory. And much more used!

favourites: god save us from the queen

Named after the trope. Look, fandom. I know why it’s Problematique. But I just love Evol, Power Hungry Queens! (in modern ‘verses it can apply to women with political power in general –i.e., I would totally use this tag for Mellie Grant okay). And I’m not gonna deny a big part of it is the #aesthetics xDD

favourites: head witch in charge

Powerful witches/other magic-type users in general. Comes from the acronym Head Bitch in Charge.

favourites: i am the law

It comes from Buffy’s speech in s7. It goes from that type of characters that take all that “I am the ONLY one”/”if I don’t try to save the world who will” responsability (sometimes, in a frankly egocentric/self-important way lol, but I like that *shrugs*).

favourites: i can fix that

This one comes from Sam The Onion Man in Holes, though it’s morphed into something quite different in my tag system lol. It’s… somewhat tied to the previous one? In that I apply it to characters that have some sort of… control issues/that need to action/intervention in their enviroment. I guess the difference is that I associate this tag with characters that are in a precarious position? Idk.

favourites: i see you

Cato says this to Noah in Underground; I use it for somewhat-antagonistic dynamics where one character sees through the reputation/façade of the other one, basically (sometimes it’s with a ~shippier spirit than others lol).

favourites: immortal exes

Self-explanatory, and one of my fave shippy tropes in existence.

favourites: like father like daughter

For my favourite father/daughter dynamics.

favourites: living large

I love it when my faves like the finer things in live. There’s nothing wrong with liking nice things lol.

favourites: love at first bite

It’s the title of a film I have yet to watch (a comedy where Dracula has to move out of Transylvania). But the quote fits perfectly with my adored blood-sharing/vampire ships, so –tho this is one of the few I often forget to use lol.

favourites: love is the drug

Title taken from a song. For those ships that can’t stay away from each other, despite how ill-advised it might be.

favourites: machiavelli’s alumni

Tag for political savvy people/situations.

favourites: mamma who bore me

Song from the musical Spring Awakening. It’s become short of a catch-them-all for mother characters, but the song/main intent was about controlling/overprotective ones lol.

favourites: mirror mirror on the wall

This is one of my newest ones and I’ve barely used it/edited old posts with it yet. It’s for my very narrow type of fave femslash dynamics lol: aka older/younger women (though there’s ships without the age difference that I’ll likely use it with) ships with lots of parallels motifs that have probably tried to kill each other at least once.

favourites: monster women

Because I love them, and the stories about them.

favourites: my foe beheld it shine

From William Blake’s A Poison Tree, a super dramatic poem about enemies lol. Perfect for enemy ships.

ETA - favourites: persephone’s revenge

One of them is Hades; one of them is Persephone and they’re at Hades’ mercy. I want Persephone to get even xD

favourites: pinocchio stories

Named after the trope; tag for all my artificial intelligence/robots feelings (no, I do not care to explore why the hell I almost always relate to robot characters, leave me alone xDD).

favourites: rags to riches

I will always root for social climbers and gold diggers on principle and this is the tag for that :P

favourites: romantic tragedies

For when what I love about a ship is their angst lol.

ETA - favourites: samson and delilah

One of the members is setting out to destroying and manipulating the other

favourites: smash the system

Inspired by that Hulk “SMASH THE PATRIARCHY” twitter. For characters/stories that seek to tear down the status quo.

favourites: soul siblings

For my fave siblings relationships.

ETA - favourites: sun and shadow

Great for light vs. dark dichotomies, especially in characters. Think Lizzie and (dark!)Josie, Buffy and Faith, Chuck and Amara.

favourites: that fucker

For my Problematic Faves, cold MOFOs, villains and the like.

favourites: the hashtag blessed crowd

My faves are being self-obsessed.

favourites: the masquerade

Another brand new one. It’s inspired by the trope “The Masquerade Will Kill Your Dating Life”, and it’s for my ships with Identity Porn Shenanigans.

favourites: the powah of lurve

For ships that overpower everything hehe.

favourites: the walking dead

Because I love resurrection/comes back wrong/ghosts stories.

ETA - favourites: the wordsmith

Tag I inaugurated for those characters that can get out of anything and create everything out of nothing with only their words.

favourites: the world is my canvas

For characters that mark the rules of a ‘verse and control narratives, and the world around them (aka: one of the main power fantasy tags xD).

favourites: three’s company

For OT3s (potentially OT+ in general).

favourites: to die like this; with a last kiss

From Siouxsie and the Banshees’ Face to Face (aka, the Batman Returns BatCat song). I wanted a tag that err… expressed how sometimes I’m into how the members of my ships try (and even succeed!) to kill each other?… it’s majorly fucked-up, foh sure, but I do believe shit like that ~enhances the shipping experience even when it troubles us shippers (and often, because it troubles us shippers, sooo).

favourites: to fall another moment into your gravity

From Sara Bareilles’s Gravity. I love it when my OTPs have broken up and are bitter af about it, yet can’t help but feel drawn to each other, and it’s the perfect song/quote for it.

favourites: vultures in lurve

I knew I had to have heard that expression before because I think vultures are Good™ lmao, and it’s apparently the title of some book. Either way, I kind of like how it sounds, and it’s my tag for when assholes are OTT in love with each other and enjoy being assholes together (pausing for moments where they’re super tender ofc), a la Unholy Matrimony trope.

favourites: you raise sons

Another brand new, barely used one. It comes from the quote “You don’t raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they’ll turn out to be heroes, even if it’s just in your own eyes.”. For father-son type relationships.

favourites: you’ve got the love

From the Florence + the Machine song. For those amazing, fulfilling ships where the characters bring the most and the best from each other *-*.

And though this is technically not one of those tags, I have to add #you WISH your faves could ever, which is basically my “this unpopular OTP is magnificent and fandom is jealous about it because their faves suck in comparison” tag xDD (btw, it’s curious how almost invariably, those ships include a WoC presented as The One…).

#nectareouswrites #fandom nonsense #shipping #me me me #talking to the void #my thoughts #thanks!#this was fun lol

8 notes · View notes

ilovemygaydad · 6 years ago

Text

Friends in Dark Places [remastered; ch 3]

pairing: moxiety and logince (later on) with the addition of others if i feel like it

WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, mentions of suicide, mentions of scars, mentions of throwing up, food mentions, mentions of pain, hospitals, ivs, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, swearing, a knife, blood, insensitive language regarding mental illness, possibly something else

tag list: @hufflepuffgirl01 @cocobearthe4th @cas-is-a-hunter @band-be-boss-blog

a/n: idk why linebreaks don’t wanna work so we’re just gonna pretend they’re there okay thanks bye

chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 7 - chapter 8 - chapter 9 - chapter 10 - chapter 11 - chapter 12

companion fics: exes and ‘oh’s

The first thought that popped into Virgil’s mind when he woke up was that it was far too bright. He squinted, trying to make out something. A dull, throbbing pain coursed through his wrists, and he groaned at the memories. Patton was going to give him so much shit.

It didn’t take too long for Virgil’s eyes to get adjusted to the bright lights. He was in a hospital room, and everything except for his blue smock was bright, clinical white. There wasn’t anyone else in the room with him--for the time being, at least--but a light blue backpack had been discarded on one of the chairs in the corner. Patton must have quickly thrown it together before they’d left.

The door slowly creaked open, and Virgil’s eyes snapped to the movement. Patton creeped through, only standing up straight once he’d realized that Virgil had woken up. A frown spread across his face as he moved to sit in the chair at Virgil’s right side.

“Virgil, you’re lucky that Logan and Roman had a free period today and were able to come get us to the hospital. What you did was very dangerous, though I’m sure that was your intention.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but obviously I did, and I’m so sorry about that. Still, we need to talk about your situation because you aren’t fit to be left on your own. I’m not going to force you into any situation you aren’t comfortable with, but I want to keep you safe.” Patton was speaking at a million miles an hour, barely comprehensible due to worry. Virgil shrugged and turned toward the only window in the room, watching the cars pass by on the road many stories below. In the back of his mind, he dreaded having to leave. He’d been in this hospital before on the rare occasion that a family member was dying, and from his memory, the local hospital only had elevators and emergency-only stairwells. Of course, Virgil was wildly afraid of elevators.

Patton was still talking when he tuned himself back in. “I know you didn’t want anyone to find out about your situation, so I cleared it with my parents, and we checked you in under my name and made sure that there would be complete confidentiality. You’ll be covered under my parent’s insurance, so you won’t have to pay for anything. They want to make sure you’re okay and are perfectly fine with this.” He knew that Patton was trying to be comforting, but it just made Virgil feel more guilty. He was taking so much from this family. They were committing fucking insurance fraud for him.

Hot pinpricks formed in Virgil’s eyes. He tried his damnedest to will them away, but they began to slip down his face regardless.

“Hey! Virge, it’s okay. What’s wrong, kiddo?” Patton placed a light hand on top of Virgil’s arm, avoiding the tender spots where the bandages had been wrapped around him. Virgil forced himself to look at his companion. He hadn’t noticed before, but Patton had intense bags under his eyes, suggesting that he hadn’t slept at all during the night. His guilt only grew.

“I’m sorry,” Virgil whispered. “I’m so, so sorry that you have to deal with my depressed emo garbage. You don’t deserve this.” He was a burden to everyone he met--merely bringing them down with him. There was no escape the sinking ship that was Virgil Thomas. Once you got on, it was hell on earth.

“Y’know,” Patton began. It was obvious that he was trying to pick his words out very carefully. “I’ve been in situations similar to yours. Although they weren’t nearly as intense, I’ve had great doubts about my self-worth. You really are a good person who deserves a good life, Virgil. I can just feel it. I really do want to help you, and I don’t care what I have to sacrifice to get you back on your feet.

“All of that aside, we need to talk about your living situation. Do you have anybody at home who will be worrying your whereabouts?” Patton laid expectant eyes on Virgil.

“Um, not really. My dad is almost always out of town, and my mom hasn’t been around for years.”

Patton nodded thoughtfully. “Alrighty then. Would you be okay with staying at my house for the foreseeable future? We would obviously have to grab your things from your house, but I’d feel better if you stayed with me. And I’m sure that you’ve seen that we have more than plenty of room for one other person.”

“I guess that’ll be okay.” Virgil’s voice was shaking slightly. He didn’t know whether he should be sad or happy. He was receiving so much kindness, yet he didn’t feel like he deserved it. His thoughts were interrupted when a nurse came into the room.

“Mr. Thomas? I need to ask Mr. Shea some questions. I’d ask that you leave the room… unless Mr. Shea is okay with you staying.” The nurse had a large smile on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes like Patton’s did.

“Um, I’d rather Pat--uh, Virgil stay in the room, if that’s all right.” Virgil gave her the best smile he could scrounge up, and she gave a curt nod, her brown hair swishing around her face. She took the seat on the opposite side of the bed from Patton.

“Mr. Shea, my name is Nurse Lucy. Do you remember what happened before you were admitted into the hospital?” Nurse Lucy pulled a pen from her pocket and began to write on the clipboard she’d had on the table next to her.

Truthfully, the events of the day had become fuzzy in Virgil’s mind. He could remember with clarity yelling at Patton and running to the bathroom. And then he punched the mirror and cut his knuckles, but after that? He had nothing.

“I don’t really remember anything…” Virgil’s face scrunched up just slightly in thought.

“Well, Mr. Shea, your friend with the tie told us you had a ‘severe panic attack,’ and Mr. Thomas followed up by saying you hurt yourself with ‘broken glass from a mirror’ and then passed out due to a mixture of blood loss and anxiety. Do you remember any of that happening?”

“I remember the panic attack and the mirror part; although, I remember the latter only vaguely.” The teen didn’t really like the direction that these questions were going. They were getting far too close to striking a nerve. As if he’d been reading the other’s thoughts, Patton piped up.

“Nurse Lucy, Vir-- Patton has been through a lot today. How long do you think these questions will take?” Virgil sent a silent thanks to whatever deity that was watching over him.

“Just a few more minutes, Mr. Thomas,” the nurse replied with a saccharine smile. “Mr. Shea, have you had any bouts of depression within the past four months?”

“Yes,” Virgil answered.

“And how long did the depression last?”

“It started when I was fourteen and has been on and off for the past three years.” His hands began to shake.

“Have you had suicidal ideations or attempted suicide in the past four months?” The clinical tone of the nurse’s voice caused Virgil’s breath to hitch. Patton gave a small squeeze, reminding Virgil that he was still there.

“Yes. To both.”

“How long have you been having suicidal thoughts?”

“Since I turned sixteen.” He raised his left hand and ran it through his hair. He already knew the next question she was going to ask before she even opened her mouth.

“When was the last time you attempted to commit suicide?” Time seemed to freeze in the room. Virgil glanced over at Patton, who had a pained expression on his face. Lines of worry were etched across his fair skin, and his normal smile was pressed into a harsh frown.

“Today,” Virgil whispered. It was the truth, and he was sure Patton knew it regardless of if he wanted to believe it or not. He looked at his feet, refusing to let his gaze shift to either of the people at his sides.

“I see,” Nurse Lucy said with sterile crispness. “Since you were admitted due to injuries from a mental illness and have admitted to other mental instabilities, you will need to stay in the hospital for at least three days for further mental examination.” She stood up and smoothed out her pants.

“Um, Nurse, will I be allowed to stay during the exams?” Patton’s soft voice broke through the unrelenting silence.

“That depends on the doctor’s specifications. If you have any questions, I can leave his phone number here so you can discuss with him. Now, if you two will excuse me, I have another patient that I need to check up on.” Virgil could hear her clicking footsteps leave the room and the hollow thunk of the door closing.

“Virge, will you please look at me?” Patton asked with genuine sweetness in his voice, not the fake sugary bullshit that the nurse had given him. Virgil turned his head slowly. His breathing was becoming shallow, and he could feel a panic attack coming on.

“I need you to listen to me, okay? You are going to be okay. I’m going to stay with you through all of it, even if the doctor wants me to leave.” A whole new wave of tears began to stream down Virgil’s face. This time, however, Patton climbed into the hospital bed, bringing his new friend into his arms, not caring about the tears that would end up staining his shirt. They stayed in that position, Virgil crying into Patton’s shoulder, until the former fell asleep.

---

“I don’t understand why we have to run errands for some kid that we barely even know!” Roman complained, crossing his arms with a huff. He and Logan had received a text from Patton that, as soon as school let out, they needed to go to the house of the kid they’d drove to the hospital and pick up anything they thought he’d need, whether it be clothes or electronics or whatever.

“Technically, Roman, we’re not running errands for Virgil. We’re running errands for Patton, who happens to be working to help a stranger. This is for our friend.” Logan turned off the engine of his disgustingly old Dodge Intrepid. He shoved open the squeaky door and walked up to the porch of the large white house.

“Yes, but--” Roman argued as he’d exited from the passenger seat-- “Why do we have to do this? Why can’t he do it?”

“Did you see how Patton was acting when we were checking Virgil into the hospital? He was an emotional wreck. I doubt he’d even leave Virgil’s side if we threatened to murder a puppy right in front of his face. He obviously has some sort of emotional attachment to the kid.” Logan punched in the code to unlock the door. The way that Patton had gotten the code was a mystery that Logan would probably never be able to solve. Shaking the thought from his mind, he pushed open the door and led Roman inside.

The inside of the house was just as plain as the outside. Light grey linoleum tiles lined the floor, and every surface was painted white. Even the doors were white. It was the biggest disgrace to the profession of interior design that either of the teenagers had ever seen.

“The bedroom is upstairs, correct?” Logan asked, looking around for any semblance of a clue that indicated someone actually lived in this house. The whole thing was oddly bare; there were just a few pieces of furniture in each room that he could see.

“Yeah, second door on the right.” Roman had already made it halfway up the stairs by the time he’d finished his sentence. Logan sighed and followed his dramatic friend.

It would have been easy to find out which room was the correct one even if they hadn’t had the directions. The door to Virgil’s room had been painted black and stuck out like a sore thumb against the blaring white of everything else. Roman swung the door open and walked inside with a flourish that only he would add.

“What a dreary nightmare this place is.” Roman grabbed a vinyl sleeve that had been discarded on the floor. American Beauty / American Psycho by Fall Out Boy. With a slight eye roll, he shucked the sleeve onto the desk to his left. He looked to Logan and saw that he’d had already gathered a pile of assorted black clothes onto the black duvet. Shocking.

Roman let out a long sigh and gathered things from the desk. He took a few notebooks that were labeled with school subjects and their corresponding binders, a pencil case, a pair of over-ear headphones and attached cell phone, a well used black eyeshadow single, and a weird little cube with a bunch of buttons on it. He placed them on the bed and grabbed a backpack from the floor, stuffing his finds into it. Logan had pulled a suitcase from somewhere-- probably the closet--and had begun to neatly fold clothes and pack them up.

“I’m going to search for the bathroom to grab Mr. Black Sky’s toiletries.” All Roman got in response was a nod. With a slight eye roll, he left the room and began to peek into each room in the hallway. The one third on the right turned out to be another bedroom, as was the fourth, the one across the hall from that one was a linen closet, and the two down the hall were completely empty. Last, he checked the first door on the right. He opened the door and found a pristinely clean bathroom, minus the spread of toiletries across the counter.

Roman grabbed the toothbrush, toothpaste, and hairbrush that was laying on the ground near the edge of the counter. He picked up a small rectangular metal thing that was hidden behind a stack of washcloths. It suddenly snapped open to reveal a small knife that had little flecks of blood on it. His stomach dropped, and he quickly closed the blade, nearly throwing it back onto the counter.

His mind strayed back to the time when Pat had been having a rough time. He and Logan had stayed up until ungodly hours researching things to help. Roman remembered when he’d clicked on a link and was brought to a website about cutting with graphic images of scars and cuts. Although he was not normally squeamish around blood, the thought of his friend hurting himself had nearly made him throw up.

He’d seen similar scars on Virgil when he’d helped Logan patch up his cuts. A shiver ran through his body. He didn’t want to think about that.

“Roman? Have you acquired everything that you need?” Logan’s voice called from the room over. Roman shook his shoulders and stood up straighter.

“Yeah, Lo. I’ll be there in just a moment.” After throwing one last glance at the knife on the counter, he made his way back to Virgil’s bedroom. Logan grabbed the toiletries from his hands and shoved them into the backpack before slipping it onto his shoulder. The two brought the bags out to the car and stowed them in the back seat. Roman’s memories from the bathroom were soon forgotten when he received another text from Patton.

Patton Delivered at 3:30 pm Virge has to stay in the hospital for the next few days for mental examination. They’re worried about him attempting suicide again. If you guys could pick up a stuffed animal from the gift shop, I’d really appreciate it! <333

Roman Read at 3:31 pm Of course, Pat! We’re just leaving the house now, so we’ll be at the hospital soon. Do you need anything?

Patton Delivered at 3:31 pm Just a water bottle. See you guys when you get here! <33333

Patton Delivered at 3:47 pm I just realized I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast. Can you grab me something to eat in the cafeteria?

Roman Read at 3:50 pm I’ll add it to the list of things we need to do that Logan’s forcing me to write. Be there in 15.

Patton Delivered at 3:50 pm Awesome! <3

Patton Delivered at 3:54 pm Roman?

Roman Read at 3:54 pm Yes, Patton?

Patton Delivered at 3:55 pm Thank you both. I really appreciate what you’re doing for Virge and I.

Roman Read at 3:56 pm It’s no problem Patton. You’ve had a rough day and deserve some rest.

Patton Delivered at 3:56 pm You and Logan are fam ILY.

chapter 4

#sanders sides fic #m writes things #moxiety #logince #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders

21 notes · View notes

radiantbeams · 7 years ago

Text

i was tagged by @thewizardofgays and as usual im procrastinating so yay here we go

last

1. drink - diet mountain dew code red (aka my favorite soda in the WORLD but they dont sell it in virginia so i have my mom ship me some every month im so pathetic) 2. phone call - erm... oh my dad called me on friday and passed me back and forth between the rest of the family and it was so exhausting tbh 3. text message - oh yeah i never texted david back i should do that 4. song you listened to - uhhh ‘threw it on the ground’ by the lonely island 5. time you cried - not that yall need to know this much abt my life but after my mom called and said she was going to end her life and i had to talk her out of it yeah that was the last time i cried but it was more like angry tears ya know?

ever

6. dated someone twice? - i guess kinda 7. kissed someone and regretted it - every kiss ever 8. been cheated on - lol my first boyfriend cheated on me bc i went to visit family over thanksgiving break 9. lost someone special - yes 10. been depressed - lol dude 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - not yet

fave colours

12. pink 13. anything sparkly 14. uhh... white?

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - kind of 16. fallen out of love - kind of?? idk i got over a crush so does that count? 17. laughed until you cried - no id ont think so 18. found out someone was talking about you - yeah but like in a good way 19. met someone who changed you - every interaction you have will change you in some way 20. found out who your friends are - uh no? yes? idk i iscolated myself so 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - lmao what kind of a question is this but yeah

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all of them except for like 15-20 friends that are like mutuals 23. do you have any pets - rip walter :( 24. do you want to change your name - no i love my name 25. what did you do for your last birthday - i went sky diving 26. what time did you wake up today - like 9ish 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - writing michelle’s fic 28. what is something you cant wait for - uhh finally getting motivation to make dinner bc im starving but also lazy 30. what are you listening to right now - the rain 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - actually... no 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - my lack of executive function these past few weeks 33. most visited website - tumblr and ao3 and google docs 34. hair colour - dark brown but im going to go back to blonde soon 35. long or short hair - im growing it out but rn its like a medium length 36. do you have a crush on someone - kind of 37. what do you like about yourself - everything? tf? im amazing? 38. want any piercings? - im good w the ones i have 39. blood type - i have no idea 40. nicknames - char is a nickname but my parents call me ‘c’ 41. relationship status - single pringle 42. zodiac - cancer sun 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - greys anatomy, psych, b99 45. tattoos - a garter tat and an unfinished chest piece bc i dont have money 46. right or left handed - lefty 47. ever had surgery - does wisdom teeth count? 48. piercings - three piercings in my right ear and one in my left 49. sport - tennis, football 50. vacation - lol 51. trainers - what

more general

52. eating - probably a salad later 53. drinking - water 54. i’m about to watch - psych 56. want - uhhh tbh i want my mom here so she can cook me dinner 57. get married - we’ll see 58. career - a psychologist

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - neither 60. lips or eyes - eyes (also who said u cant touch eyeballs hm) 61. shorter or taller - shorter 62. older or younger - doesn’t matter 63. nice arms or stomach - doesnt matter 64. hookup or relationship - idc 65. troublemaker or hesitant - neither?

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - lol of course 67. drank hard liquor - all the time 68. lost glasses - well theyve been misplaced for a long time but i did eventually find them again 69. turned someone down - every day 😎 70. sex on first date - what’s a date? 71. broken someones heart - unfortunately 72. had your heart broken - i dont have a heart so no 73. been arrested - came close once 74. cried when someone died - yeah 75. fallen for a friend - i havented experienced one human emotion in 12 years

do you believe in

76. yourself - meh, sure 77. miracles - yeah 78. love at first sight - no lol 79. santa clause - no wtf 80. kiss on a first date - ill ask again: what’s a date? 81. angels - yes

other

82. best friend’s name - lindy, kris, haley, mac, david, megan 83. eye colour - blue 84. fave movie - dont have one 85. fave actor - tomothée chalamet

now i gotta tag ppl but yall know i hate doing that so hey if u wanna go ahead and pretend like i tagged u

#char talks #about me

2 notes · View notes

kwan--nie · 7 years ago

Text

11 Questions Tag

I was tagged by the amazing @hearteu33 you like and reblog so many of my posts and i honestly feel so special thank you for tagging me!! it makes me happy lol ill try to tag a few people haha

first thing you’d do if you met your bias (what would you say)?

I have bias in every kpop group I’m into but Seungkwan is my bias overall. If I met Seungkwan, I honestly don’t know what I’d do. Tbh, I really want to squeeze his cheeks. Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird. But, i diGRESS. Seungkwan has such cute cheeks. I love them so much. The first thing I’d say would probably be along to lines of “your voice is beaUTIFUL”.

you and your bias’ ship name (wink wink)?

Surprisingly, I don’t really see Seungkwan in that way. I love him to bits, but I wouldn’t really want to date him. But our ship name… GeoBoo? GeorgeKwan? SeungGeorge? I don’t know lol I’m not very good at this

How would a perfect date go (I just really like this question)?

I’m a simple boy. I would just want to do something that was simple yet sweet. I think that the perfect date would be going to an aquarium or watching a movie. I don’t think im a very romantic person tho so idk

favorite thing to do during the holiday season?

Sleeping. That sounds bad but I love sleeping in a cold room with a warm blanket. It’s an amazing feelings

If you had one million dollars, what would you do with it?

Buy kpop merch??? I honestly don’t know. I hardly even have £5

Hot cocoa or coffee?

Hot cocoa. tho it has to be the proper stuff not cheap shit lol

What is love (tbh I’m curious)?

Love, to me, is being able to give without expecting anything in return.

Fav kpop group and why?

I stan so many groups but my favourite is SEVENTEEN. They’re just so happy all the time and they honestly make me so happy? I started getting into kpop because I wanted something to distract me from negetive thoughts, and when I found SVT those thoughts hardly ever came back into my head. They’re just 13 happy boys who make the air shine and it’s amazing. not to mention how TALENTED THEY ARE. HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THEIR SONGS. HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR CHOREO. THEY MADE THAT. THEY DID THAT. THAT’S AMAZING. anyway lol SVT is my favourite because they seem like amazing, happy human beings.

what you want to do after school is over?

Once school ends, which for me, is soon, I want to go into the history field. Archaeology or maybe anthropology? They’re both super interesting.

ideal vacation?

Camping. In the forest. I don’t like going to warm places so I’d rather just camp in a tent and take pictures of nature.

favorite season?

Winter. Without a doubt. The aesTHETICs are beautiful.

I might be taggin people who hav already been tagged but eh

@scoup-d-etat @chillihansol @bookwan @dreams-and-cookies

You don't have to do it but I see you a lot in my feed and you seem like awesome people 😊😊

Here are my questions

Is there something that you're currently into that, maybe 5 years ago, you'd never dream of yourself liking?

What drew you towards your bias? What do you like about them?

Is there a kind of aesthetic you love?

Is there a kind of aesthetic you hate?

If you could go back in time to 2015, what would you do?

What do you see yourself doing in 5 years?

Who is your favourite kpop group? Why do you like them?

When did you get into kpop? And how?

Is there anything you hate?

If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?

Which do you prefer? Dance, rap, or vocals?

#thanks for tagging me!!#11 questions

3 notes · View notes

stevethehairington · 8 years ago

Text

Okay so I was tagged by @fairieswithoutwings to do one of those like “get to know me” kind of post things, which like wow, I’m surprised that I was tagged in one of these! Like I didn’t ever expect to be so it’s pretty cool! Thanks!! :)

Anyyyywayyyyssss...

Name/nickname/whatever you prefer to be called?

My friends usually just call me by my full name, Mackenzie, but sometimes they call me ‘Mack’. Some of my soccer coaches in the past have called me ‘G’ or “Gal’ because of my last name but yeah, I don’t really go by nicknames that much. Wouldn’t mind it though!

Pronouns?

She/Her :)

Age?

I’m currently 17 (a little more than 4 months away from 18 though, but who’s counting?) (Me. I’m counting. I’m definitely counting)

Fav Skam character?

This is SUCH a tough question oh man. (I love them all is that an acceptable answer? lol) Ummm... I’m gonna have to go with either Isak or Even, as cliche as it seems. When I saw Isak in season one he was this cute, adorable, little bean and I dunno, it was kinda just love at first sight lol. And then in season three, my love for him just grew and grew and grew because throughout his season we see him going through some tough shit and the way he handles most of it and becomes more aware of things and is open to learning and exploring things is very admirable. Like ofc he definitely speaks before he thinks about what he’s going to say sometimes, like the comments he makes to Eskild about gay pride, and also the comment to Even in the locker room (we all know exactly what I’m talking about here), but the thing is, he doesn’t just let them go or deny that he said those things. He actively takes responsibility for them and realizes that he messed up or said something wrong and he tries to fix it, and I think that’s really important. He does a lot of growing and learning and I just love that he’s willing to do that growing and learning. Also, I really love how despite how much he tries to make himself seem like this ‘cool’ guy, like ‘look at me I wear snapbacks and listen to ‘90s hip hop and smoke weed’, he’s really just this big loving dork who gets blushy and embarrassed and is actually really intelligent and loves biology and old memes (honestly tho boy, you gotta get updated on your meme collection it’s looking very #yike) and has a soft spot for his friends. Like I just really love Isak.

Okay and Even. Damn, where do I begin with Even? He’s such a complex character and I actually love that so much, like there are so many different layers to him and I felt like every episode we peeled one back and found another waiting to be explored. I really really love how he’s so much more than just the love interest. Like a lot of shows bring on a character as the love interest for the main character and they’re kind of just there and don’t really have that much background to them. But with Even... oh mannnn. Boy do we get background. He’s more than just Isak’s love interest and that makes me really appreciative. I also think his mental illness was dealt with in such a wonderful way. Now, I’m no expert on mental illnesses, but I feel like they did a fantastic job at portraying one. It seemed very real and I loved how it wasn’t just boom he had an episode which we didn’t witness and everything’s suddenly better within a day. Like even I know that’s not how it is, and they didn’t do that. They showed the good and the bad and I think that made me fall in love with Even too. Seeing the good and the bad just showed that he’s not perfect, nobody is, and we all have to go through shit. It’s part of life. And that just made him seem even more real. Also, I love how as the season progressed he became more real. Like in the beginning, since we’re seeing everything through Isak’s eyes, Even kinda appears like this gorgeous ‘way outta my league’ kind of guy, like he was the epitome of cool, super untouchable, right. But then throughout the episodes that air of ‘too cool’ kinda disappeared and once again we were left with this absolute dork, who loves movies and cooking and Gabrielle, who gets insecure about things too, who isn’t as perfect as we originally thought. Like I just want to be his best friend and sit and talk with him for hours about everything under the sun (god, he would be such a good conversationalist omg. He definitely strikes me as that person that can literally talk about anything and everything that comes to mind and actually make that conversation enjoyable. Like he could probably bring up like some dumb math theorum or whatever and I’d be intrigued lol). He’s precious and needs to be protected at all costs. (Honestly I could talk about him for HOURS. Hmu if ya wanna tho lol I’d be up for it)

When did you start watching Skam?

Okay so I started watching Skam midway through season 3, so episode 6 was the first episode I watched in ‘real time’. I was on Tumblr one day (instead of doing my homework... which is kind of what I’m doing now... lol sorry AP Gov, you’re not important right now) and I was scrolling through my dash and I kept seeing a bunch of posts with these two boys cuddling together (that first clip from episode 5 you know the one ;)) and I reblogged a couple of them even though I had no idea what this show was yet, but I remember thinking to myself okay s’cute I’ll check it out. And that’s when I fell down the rabbit hole lol. No, but honestly? Best decision I ever made. I remember it was the first day of Thanksgiving break when I found this show and I watched all of season 3 as of then that night, then Tuesday night I went back and watched season 1, Wednesday I watched all of season 2, and then Thursday I rewatched season 3 so I’d be ready for the new episode on Friday. And I was Hooked™.

When did you make your blog?

Oh god, ummm, I honestly have no idea the date (or even the year for that matter lol). I know I’ve had it a few years though. I used to be a hardcore One Direction account, I shipped Larry (not super extra about it though I was super chill), like I was so invested in that band omfg, but now I kinda don’t care what’s going on with them? Like, I just gradually stopped caring. I stopped constantly checking for updates and now when new stuff happens I’m kinda just like oh okay cool whatever. Like I’m not badmouthing them, I still enjoy their music and all, I just stopped being obsessive I suppose. Which, I’m kinda glad about tbh lol. Idk I just don’t think it was very good to be that invested. But yeah, now this blog is kinda a mosh of different stuff I like. Like rn it’s mainly Skam but I’ll post about Harry Potter or Marvel or Sherlock.

Who are you cheering for to be s4′s main?

EVEN. Oh my god you have no idea how much I want Even to be the main. Like I’m probably HELLA getting my hopes up and I’m gonna be super disappointed if it’s not him (mainly bc I’m so convinced he should be (but ofc I’m gonna be thrilled with whoever they do choose!!)) But yeah, there’s just so many reasons why he should be the main. Like I said earlier he’s a super complex character and I feel like we’ve only scratched the surface. Like there’s so many things we don’t know about him and I’m so damn curious to find out everything about him. I also think it would be really cool if we had a season from the point of view of someone with a mental illness so we could see how normal they are. Because people sometimes think that just because someone’s mentally ill or something like that that they’re totally different, but in reality they’re probably not that different from you and me. I think it would provide so much exposure for that and be super informative and helpful and just lovely, because Skam always does the loveliest job portraying things. Not to mention, he’s graduating this year and I think it would be so good to see him successfully graduate. It would show people that yes, it’s possible and yes you can do it. (I’m getting teary eyed just thinking about my tol bean graduating omg!) Alsooo, this is literally our last chance to have Even as a main. Like I said, he’s graduating this year so once this year is over he won’t be at Nissen anymore, which is kind of like a requirement of the mains sooo. (Plus I was discussing this with someone I follow and we were talking about how it would make the most sense and be a very smart move from a marketing point of view to have Even as the main because a bunch of people are super invested in him and if he’s the main it would bring a lot of viewers because of that investment) (Plus the transition to s4 would be smooth as hell). Ideally, it would be perfect if it went like this: Even for S4, Sana for S5, and Vilde for S6. Fingers crossed this is what we get!!

Who do you think is most likely to be s4′s main?

I feel like Even’s definitely got a chance. But I also think Sana does too. If it’s not Even (I’m in too deep help) I think it’ll for sure be Sana (which yessss, I love Sana omg).

What are your main interests?

Main interests... welllll, if it’s not already obvious I love obsessing over tv shows lol. Nah, but I’m super into watching movies (not quite on Even’s level but I’m working my way up there), like marathoning is my fave. I’m super into photography. I’m in a photography class in school right now, but I love taking pictures of everything really. And I’m super happy because I just got my own camera for Hanukkah this year and I’ve been asking for the past few years so I’m so happy about that. I enjoy reading too, I’m a sucker for a good book. (recs anyone? lol) I also like to write, even though I’ve never actually sat down and written anything completely. Like seriously, look at my computer and you’ll see a million files of half written, started and abandoned fics. I’ve been trying to get myself to actually finish one but who knows if that’ll ever happen lol. Oh and I play soccer too, have been since I was 4! Definitely one of my favorite things to do!

Something you’re always up to discuss?

Literally anyting? Like hmu I’m always open to talk about things. I love love love Harry Potter so if you ever want to talk about anything that has to do with Harry Potter I’m soo beyond down. I really enjoy talking about Literature as well. I’m in an AP Lit class this year and it’s actually my favorite class ever. We’ve read so many interesting books and I’ve learned so much and me and my pals are literally the biggest Lit nerds you’d ever find, we’ll sit and discuss our books for hours when we go out to coffee or are at lunch. Speaking of coffee, whenever me and my friends get coffee we always end up having these super deep conversations about politics or religion or things like that and those conversations are actually so enjoyable, so like if you’re an open minded person and you’re not trying to shove your belief/opinion down my throat I could definitely talk with you about those things. I think talking about politics or religion and stuff like that really helps you keep an open mind because it allows you to see things from other people’s point of view, and that’s pretty cool.

I’m always up for making new friends, especially here, so I’m up for chatting if anyone wants to!! :))

Something you refuse to discuss?

Umm, nothing super specific is coming to mind. But when it comes to politics or religion I refuse to speak to someone about these things if they only want to explain their views/opinions and think that it’s their way or the highway and try to shove it down my throat and aren’t open to hearing what other people think. Like you don’t have to like what I’m saying and you definitely don’t have to agree, but you need to be able to listen and at least be open to hearing a different point of view. So yeah, I guess it’s not really a what I refuse to discuss but more of a who I refuse to discuss with lol.

Other favorite shows aside from Skam?

Too many. Omfg. Okay I’m hella into Criminal Minds. That show is one of my all time favorites. I actually decided that I want to study Criminal Justice and Psychology and actually become a profiler because of that lol. I just think it’s such a cool show and what they do is so interesting so yeah, that show has actually influenced my career goals haha. I also love Parks and Rec- that show is funny as hell and it’s one of those shows I’m always down to rewatch. Oh, I watched Stranger Things this year and that show is just yes. So good oh man. I love the movie Super 8 with a passion and when I watched Stranger Things I got such a Super 8 vibe which I looooved so yeah I definitely love that show and would consider it a favorite. American Horror Story is pretty awesome too, though I haven’t been that impressed with their last few seasons, still a great show though! Ooh I just started watching Sherlock this year (I watched it all in like a week oops?), love that show! Supernatural oh my god I loove that show so much! Jensen and Jared are my absolute favorites oh man. I haven’t finished the show yet I’m only about halfway through season 6 lol but I heard it was renewed for season 13 so that’s pretty cool! Some honorable mentions: How I Met Your Mother was good, I watched That ‘70s Show not that long ago, that was pretty funny, I just finished The Office. I feel like I’m missing some key shows I love but yeah that’s all I can think of right now.

Anyways, I hope some of you take the time to read this, I know I don’t have that many followers and I’m not like a popular blog or anything lol. But yeah this took me a while to write and it was pretty fun to do.

I dunno if any of the people I’m about to tag have done this or not yet but I’m too lazy to scroll through all their blogs and see so if I tag you and you’ve already done it cool, my bad. (Tagging some of my favorite accounts and people I consdier pals! :))

@desert-pluviophile @skammed @adamparishe @isakneven @shadeandadidas @skamwhat @ravenclawisak @bloonstuff @skamz

#get to know me #skam #questions and answers #i talk about stuff a lot oops?#this took me way longer than it should've to write #maybe that's because i just didn't want to do my gov homework #i mean who wants to learn about the government when i could cry about skam amiright?

7 notes · View notes

sunflowerstationary · 7 years ago

Text

This post is… kind of long

Tip: when typing on tumblr app, since it inconvenient to save as you go, occasionally select and copy everything so it’s saved on the clipboard

I can’t say much about the driving test because its been forever, but my instructor wasn’t like, unfriendly. I asked him about his job and he talked about how in his experience doing the test, all of the accidents have happened because of people who already had their licenses. And really, theres no shame in failing your first test. The instructor i had failed several people from the School of Driving or something. Its not a consistent test, I don’t think.

I’m really glad you get to live with Scappy again, I’m sure he’s super pleased to see you all the time again. i hate being away from my babies so much. They have each other, but no one pays enough attention to them I just don’t enjoy being home most of the time. Honestly, the biggest problem is that theres no where comfortable to sit. Like, the kitchen table doesn’t have chair backs, the couches are uncomfortable and impossible to cuddle on, and the floor is, well, the floor. Plus you never know who’s going to be home and when.

I would totally love to learn some russian. I wish I had the time to really commit myself to learning another language. I’m currently just trying to teach myself to use home row using keybr. I have yet to get all the way through because q keeps fucking me up. Also my nails make it kind of hard to like, really keep my fingers on the home row because if i do that I can’t really hit the bottom row of keys.

I occasionally text Collin, but they aren’t very good for answering. I don’t think there ever was any sort of resolution between us and think we agreed to keep it that way. I don’t think about them very much but I do miss them. I wish i could keep track of them better and support them somehow, they really meant a lot to me.

As a kind of side note, I occasionally talk to Rayzel. I like her, though its awkward sometimes because she doesn’t really carry on a conversation well. She rarely messages me first and that makes it really hard for me but she’s uber supportive all the time and its nice. She’s kind of been a nice neutral party when i don’t know who to talk to about a something.

Things are kind of better for me, though it feels fake and definitely would still rather be dead most of the time. Like I’m not sad as often but I also tend to default to sleep or alcohol before it gets really bad. So thats probably not the most healthy coping mechanisms but. idk things are good right now but i’m also pretty sure its because my school workload is very light and I’m barely working. I haven’t done any work for athena in twoish weeks and I’m only working 11ish hours for bk so I’m all hell will break loose for me when school gets tough and I get more hours.

The babies are good, Sandstorms face is getting bad again, and Lucky probably needs another bath. Sandstorms taken up peeing in the dining room again. Mom put the litter box in there for a while and obviously it helped, but mom couldn’t deal with the smell so she slowly moved it closed to the door for downstairs. and by slowly I mean not very slowly at all. It don’t think it really helped because I caught sandstorm peeing in there one morning when I was getting her shot ready.

Me and Kevin are good. Since I isolated the hell out of myself so he would be comfortable, there really isn’t any other tensions. I do really regret isolating myself so hard. I still wonder sometimes if I’m making the right decision here- am I going to look back in twenty years and wish I had put my foot down while I was still young and we had only been together a few years? I’m so clearly poly, and I’m going to keep falling in love with my friends for the rest of my life. Thats just how I am. I really don’t know what to do about it. I can’t imagine life without Kevin. I can’t even remember to put a bra on or brush my teeth, he more or less holds my life together since I just cannot.

The party thing was good. I got so drunk. I regret that. But it was fun and I really like Chris so. One of kelvins other friends, Tyler, who I like as well, showed up super high and now I am uncomfortable. Like, i knew he smoked but idk. I think I still need to get over that. I probably just need to get high once or twice and like. Not die or whatever. idk. But I totally forgot Chris’s comment and I’m TOTALLY going to ask the next time were alone. I’ll have to ask Kevin about the comment again to refresh my memory.

I haven’t tried the wine yet, it’s at my house and I plan on opening it whenever I need it there since its more socially acceptable than shots.

Athena hasn’t been great tbh. It did wonders for my self-esteem while I was there. More from feeling like I was important than actual work. But now that I’m gone, no one talks to me at all and it kind of. feels like its invalidating everything that happened while I was there. Idk. I got fairly close with a girl named Aubrie but she has barely talked to me at all since I left. No one is willing to hold conversations with me, and I wasn’t really around long enough and I didn’t talk enough to be able to ask people about their lives. Plus, they’re all very much in different parts of life than me, so it wouldn’t be good conversation anyway. Being a good listener is less useful when its not in persna and they have to type up everything. Its more effort for less reward. So no, i’m not getting much work and no I don’t really keep up with anyone. I should though. Physical letters would be a good idea. I wish I was a bit more creative, I could like, send pictures and trinkets and such. Idk. I should def do it.

I have so much I’ve wanted to talk to you about, but I can’t even remember most of it. I’m not sure If I told you, but the only queer on the team recommended the artist Kate Bush to me. They said that she was a very important part of her life and they have a tattoo relating to one of her songs so I was like ‘I’ll totally give her a try’. I’ve only really listened to her album Hounds of Love, but her other famous songs are Withering Heights and Babooshka. She’s very whimsical, and I have no idea if you’ll like her but, you know. I listened to a documentary on her while I was working and it was super interesting so I’m convinced.

NOTE: we should probably tag these so we can find them. You’re better at coming up with tags, so its your job :P

Schools been okay, Team Projects been kind of yucky because its all the people I’m trying to avoid, but the teacher is A++, very dad. So hopefully it should be okay. The problem is we had to ‘expose’ ourselves to help us work in teams better and I both did not want to share at all and also very much wanted to overshare. But Jordan, a girl who I took bookbinding with and I’m friends with, is in the class so that helps. Diversity in the Deaf Community is cool, the teacher is super great. He’s deaf, which makes it hard for me to talk to him but he’s so AWARE. Our first real lecture talked about how everything is a social construct. I never hear teachers talking about that. the final project is going to be a big deal though and I’m worried its going to overwhelm me, because I’ve got big final projects in every class.

ASL 3 is fine, I feel behind but it hasn’t gotten bad yet. Its got a paper that requires I interview a deaf person which. should be interesting. I really am shit at reading sign sometimes. Topics in Media Arts, Sciences will probably be really helpful in the long run but will probably be hell. The teacher is Russian, I believe, and her english isn’t always very good. The way she talks is incredibly frustrating for me- she’s just like my mom, she stops halfway through sentences. And she’s not always clear and we have to do like, real experiments. Were going to have eye tracking and finger thingys and its gonna be a lot.

And then Abnormal psych, the only class I’m actually excited to go to, which is from 5:30 to 6:50 which is. so yucky. But the teacher is super great and also super aware. she talks about how we need to break down the stigma around mental illness. Her specialty is working with Bipolar kids. She’s very energetic but i think she’s probably in her forties? I actually have no idea but i’m accounting for my shitty sense of peoples age. Her face is actually very skull-like if you look at it close enough. Her eyes are kind of sunken and her nose is kind of big. I keep like, unconsciously diagnosing her. I think she probably has body image issues. She’s incredible, incredibly skinny. She wearing really tight tops but always has really really baggy pants. Idk, its not really my place though.

Mom hasn’t bitched as much about Ed lately, but I’m not sure if it’s because it’s getting better or because she’s getting used to it. I’m getting used to it for sure. I talked to him about making the cat tree. He said it would take a couple hours at most, and would be considerably cheaper than 300 dollars. He can get carpet for free, and wood and brackets aren’t that expensive. I guess before I okay it with him, look online, the the prices were much much cheaper (though I don’t know about shipping) but if me and Ed do it, you can make it look however you want. I think that would be kind of cool. I’ll try to remember to bug you about this if you don’t text me about it.

Victoria broke up with TJ, and he was anorexic for a time and dropped a bunch of weight. He says now he’s back to about his old weight now, with the binging and the muscle gain. He also recently started dating a tiny red head names Cameron. I don’t know much about her other than she’s a singer and not much of a dancer (Which is approximately the opposite of Victoria).

Dad has more or less stayed out of my life.

Me and Kevin got into Bondage, and it’s very much an experience I want to share with you. But I don’t know how comfortable you’d be so I figured I’d ask before I got into it. I also found out i’m into wax play and we’ve both struggled with the whole thing where were both subs and its hard.

Speaking of hard, I just wanted to make it clear in case it wasn’t, I’m not particularly comfortable being in Steve’s presence. I’m not sure what to do about it- I feel guilty for not liking him, especially because I wasn’t sure if it was because of who he is or because I’m jealous but now i’m especially wary of him after the thing on my birthday. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to really like him after all of the things he’s said about me that were negative. I admit, he is kind part of the reason I don’t really come over anymore (though our conflicting work schedules really really don’t help). So. Idk. I don’t particularly want to talk to him about it but I’m willing to if you want me to.

I think I had more to say, but theres already so much so! I love you very very much and I don’t even have words to explain how relieved I am that things are looking up for you. You deserve the whole word, just for being you. It’s probably more my fault for the lack of communication, especially as the one with more spoons in general.

Thank you for everything

EDIT: Send me the link to the Boot! Also, you should be proud, I’ve been listening to P!ATD for the past two weeks straight. so.

#you are the reason that i'm smiling when there is nothing to smile about

0 notes