#idk sorry your boyfriend keeps annoying me i guess? youre both fucking stupid

[gstringsurvivor]

no bc this is literally becoming unbearable this girl is delusional and i think she got something against me and is talking to everyone about it bc my coworkers that im always cool with barely talked to me today

[alreadyblondenow]

Sweet | Jung Jaehyun

❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  

Word count: 13,707k

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​

Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.

Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.

“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.

“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.

The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”

“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”

“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.

And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.

“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.

“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.

“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”

And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.

When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.

“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”

“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“

“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.

The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.

Eight years ago  

“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  

Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.

“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.

“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.

“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.

As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.

And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.

“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.

The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.

At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.

“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.

“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.

As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.

“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.

In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.

You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.

“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.

Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.

Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.

Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.

And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.

He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.

"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  

If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.

You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.

For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.

Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.

Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.

As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.

“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.

The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  

“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.

But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.

“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“

And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  

When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.

For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”

Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.

“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”

You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.

“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.

He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.

He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.

“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.

“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.

“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”

“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.

“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.

Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.

“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.

Thrust

Thrust

Thrust

He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.

While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.

“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.

“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.

“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.

To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.

You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.

Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.

Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.

It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.

“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.

“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.

“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“

“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.

Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.

During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.

Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.

You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.

It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.

Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.

Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.

“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.

Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.

For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  

Senior year

In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.

“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.

“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“

“Stop it with your nonsense John”

“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.

“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.

Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“

“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  

“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.

“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.

“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.

Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.

The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.

After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”

Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?

Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.

“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.

“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.

Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.

Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.

“Your ears are red,” you teased him.

“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  

“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.

This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.

“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.

“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.

“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.

“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”

And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.

Then,

“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”

And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.

On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.

“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”

There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.

“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.

You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.

When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.

“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.

The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.

“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.

Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.

Finally. You both thought.

But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.

Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.

Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.

He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.

And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.

“I missed you too” finally you said it.

He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.

“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.

“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.

You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.

“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.

“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”

The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.

When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.

“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”

“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.

“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.

But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.

He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.

It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.

“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”

You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.

“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”

“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.

The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.

Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.

Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.

And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.

Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.

“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.

“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.

Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.

Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.

This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.

“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.

After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.

“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.

“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.

“And?”

“I’ll miss you”

Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.

He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.

You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  

The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.

“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.

“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  

“Good. Y/n is on her period”

“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.

“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“

“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”

When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.

“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.

“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.

“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.

“Google says sex is good when-“

“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.

“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.

“I am” you admitted

“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.

“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.

Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.

“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.

“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.

“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.

“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.

While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.

The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.

Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.

“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.

“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.

“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”

“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.

“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.

“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...

“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”

“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”

“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.

“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.

The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.

Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.

After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.

“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.

“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”

“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.

“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”

The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.

You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“

“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.

“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.

“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”

“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.

The fight was short but unforgettable.

Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.

“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.

You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.

FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)

It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.

When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.

You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.

When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.

“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.

But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.

“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.

Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.

“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”

But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR

“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”

And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.

All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.

Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.

Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.

Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.

While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.

“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.

“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.

“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.

Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room

“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.

And so he did.

He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.

Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  

As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.

“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.

“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.

“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.

When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.

“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.

“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?

The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.

On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.

Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Five years later

When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.

“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.

“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.

“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.

“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.

“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.

“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”

“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.

“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.

“Sorry, that was so childish of me”

“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”

Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.

But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.

“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.

[hanniiesuckle17]

All I Want For Christmas

A/n: so this started off as a blurb......then i got carried away.......so.......happy christmas everyoneeeee also HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO MY SECRET SANTA GIFT PARTNER !!!!!! (also this is not thoroughly edited I'm soso sorry )

For: @hansoulmin  HAPPY CHRISTMAS BABY!!! I was your secret santa! I hope you like it! 

Tag List: @ashisparanoid @mini-meanhoe @leggomylino @hanstagrams @desertofdessert​ @hoes4hoseok​ @yangomangos​ @jeonqqin​ @geminirules​ @crscendoforsung​ @mrsunshine999​ @jisungsjheekies​ @hannie-squirrel00​ @cotccotc​ @kodzu-ken​ @konenichi​ @yangs-jeongin​ @strykiss​ @skzwriternet​

Warnings: cussing, lots of sexual tension maybe...idk

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: Minho and Y/n have never gotten along for reasons unknown to anyone. After circumstances arose, Y/n is stuck with Minho driving him up to the cabin the boys rented. It seems that things go terribly wrong at every turn as Y/n is kept from her long desired Christmas vacation. Will she be able to change Minho’s mind about Christmas....and possibly his view on her? 

Genre: Christmas au, enemies to lovers au, fluff, romance, slice of life au, forced to share bed trope, Fem reader

❅

Out of all people, the universe seemed to only choose you to throw misfortune on. You were nice. Some might even call you kind and selfless! You were by all means a good person! So why? Why out of all the eight other people going on this vacation did you have to stay behind a day and drive Satan’s spawn up to the cabin?

Lee Minho was a grown man of twenty two years. He should be able to drive himself! Also what was his deal? The rest of the boys had cleared their schedule for a week and a half of Christmas vacation.What was so important he had to delay your winter getaway as well?

The frigid winter wind bit at your skin, latching onto the soon disappearing warmth. You rolled your eyes watching the coat clad form of Minho come down the stairs of the entertainment building at a painstakingly slow pace. You had no clue why, but ever since you met, Minho had been nothing but cross and hateful towards you, and it seemed like he had no intention of changing. 

“Y/n.” Minho said coldy, tossing his duffel bag into my arms. 

“Satan.”

‘Clever.”

Deciding to be the bigger person, you securely placed his bag along with yours in the trunk and walked over the the driver’s side. The door slammed shut as Minho sunk into the passenger seat. “This is going to be a long ride,” you mumbled. 

An hour into journey and your prediction was already coming true. The two of you sat in awkward uncomfortable silence. Minho stared out the window seemingly unphased by the unwieldy tension. “Should I turn on some music?” You asked, reaching for the radio.

“No. It will just make things uncomfortable.”

You scoffed, retracting your hand. “I don’t see how it can get more uncomfortable than this.” Minho rolled his eyes turning to look at you. 

“It will be annoying for me when you start singing along to the radio and I have to tell you how utterly shit your voice is.” There was no hiding the scowl on your face. Your grip tightened on the steering wheel. Only five and half more hours with this asshole. 

You sighed, glancing over at the man in your car. He was messing around on his phone, completely ignoring you. It was like the conversation you had only a few seconds ago had never happened. “Look. I know you hate me and you definitely aren’t my favorite person either.” No response came from Minho. He simply rolled his eyes. “What was so important that you had to delay my Christmas vacation? Don’t you like Christmas? What possibly would be worth setting back such an amazing holiday?”

Hearing no response you looked over at Minho in question. He was looking out the window with a rather pointed scowl. “Not everyone loves Christmas.”

“What? Everyone loves Christmas! Christmas is the best time of the year!”

“Well, not me. I don’t like Christmas.”

“WHAT?!”

You turned to him eyes wide. “Hey! Eyes on the road!” Minho grabbed the steering wheel and jerked the car back into the right lane. “What’s so wrong about not liking Christmas?” Light snow flurries began to fall on the windshield. “Christmas is just another stupid holiday. There’s nothing special about it. Plus it’s cold.”

“Maybe you really are satan....” You mumbled under your breath. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing.....I just can’t believe you hate Christmas...”

❅

Two painful hours later you were driving your impossible passenger down a long stretch of snow filled road. The windshield wipers screeched as they pushed snow off the glass. The storm had really picked up as you drove further out of the city. The roads were icy and you did your best to keep your old run down car from drifting. 

“How much longer?” Minho sighed, resting his head on the cool glass. 

“Quite a bit-” BANG!

Suddenly, it was much harder to control your car. You felt a rumble in the back wheels. Minho shot up in his seat. “Wait- what the fuck is going on?” Easing your foot off the gas, you pulled over onto the side of the empty road. 

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Hitting your steering wheel, you tried to hold back your frustration. Tears pricked at your eyes, begging to spill over. There was no way you were going to cry in front of Lee Minho. Couldn’t one thing go your way this year? As if this wasn’t bad enough, a loud bang came from your engine and smoke started spilling from the hood. “Fuck...” 

Defeated, you let your head fall onto the wheel. A long continuous blast came from the car horn. Minho grimaced, covering his ears. “Can you like....stop?” You turned to look at him. Feeling even more dejected under his gaze you lifted your head, ceasing the blaring noise. 

Taking a moment to gather your emotions, you blew out a shaky breath. “Just....stay in the car, I guess. Not like you’re gonna help anyway.”

Jerking open the car door, you stepped out onto the snowy road. Deciding to look at the hopefully less damaged part of your car, you wrapped your coat further around your body and walked to the back of your car. Just like you thought, the rear left tire was completely blown out. 

“I knew my car was shit, but I thought it was going to last at least another two years.”

Now it was time to face the music, or rather the smoke. Snow falling at a fast pace, you shuffled through the cold and around to the front of your car. Raising the hood more smoke rose into the winter air. Looking around you saw it was getting darker. You had told Chan you and Minho would be at the cabin the boys rented by dinner time. It was already six o’clock.

A quick glance under the hood was enough to tell that this car was going no where. Brain trying to solve the prediciment you somehow ended up in, you crouched down and attempted to come up with a way out of the situation. So deep in thought, you didn’t even hear the sound of the passenger door opening and closing. 

“I’m assuming you can’t fix this.”

Looking up you saw Minho standing over you. His hands were stuffed into his coat pockets and white snow flurries floated onto Minho’s dark brown hair. “Do you just assume I’m useless at everything?” Minho rolled his eyes. The man turned around and opened the trunk. He returned with your bag as well as his. 

“Come on.” Not even casting a glance your way, Minho tossed your bag at your kneeling figure. The momentum sent you falling onto your butt, the wet cold snow immediately seeping through the one warm layer you were wearing. 

“Where the fuck are you going?”

“There’s a hotel a couple miles away.” Minho said holding up his phone. 

Pushing yourself off the ground you grabbed the bag and hurried to catch up with the sulky hateful man who was already walking further into the snowfall. “Are you serious?” You questioned, trying not to slip on ice. “Hey- Minho! What the fuck, dude?” 

“Come on, idiot. Keep up.”

“Minho! Wait up!”

❅

The sky was almost pitch black by the time the two of you made it to the hotel. Whether it was from the snow clouds or time you weren’t sure. Minho had not bothered to wait for you. He was already through the sliding doors of the building before you had reached the hotel’s driveway. “Selfish jerk.” You mumbled, dragging your bag through the rising snow. 

You did your best not collapse as you were embraced by the warm heating in the hotel lobby. Minho was brushing the show from his hair as he confidently approached the front desk. The clerk greeted him with a friendly smile. 

“Hi. We need two rooms please.”

Her smile faltered a little bit. “I’m so sorry, sir.” She wrung her hands together, keeping that hospitality smile on her face. “With the snowstorm, almost every room is booked.” Minho sighed, casting an annoyed glare your way. 

“Are you sure?” 

After catching your breath, you joined the singer at the desk. The lady typed away on her computer. Looking over, you could see red boxes by all the rooms she scrolled through. “I’m so sorry, sir. But all but one of our rooms is booked.”

“We’ll take it.” You jumped in, eager to have any relief from the storm outside. 

She smiled and Minho grumbled something under his breath. “Okay then. Here is the key to our Honeymoon Suite. It’s on the fourth floor at the end of the hall.” There was no stopping the blush flooding your cheeks.

“H-honeymoon suite....?”

“Yes. It’s our last room.” 

Minho snatched the key card from the woman’s hands. “You’ve already said we’ll take it. Stop blubbering and get your stuff.” Grabbing his duffel, Minho began walking towards the elevator with no intention of waiting for you. 

The concierge looked at you with pity. “You’re boyfriend isn’t the nicest...is he?” 

With a scoff you replied, “Believe me, Minho is not my boyfriend.”

Rushing through the lobby, you squeezed through the elevator doors just as they were closing. Minho remained silent as you both rode up to the fourth floor. Your wet feet against the plush carpet was the only sound to be heard as you walked to the end of the hall. 

Before he could slide the keycard, Minho scowled at the heart engraved on the door. The happy beep and green light prompted him to push into the room. His scowl deepened as he flicked on the lights. 

Even with the lights turned on, the room was cast in a warm dim glow. There was only one bed, shaped like a huge heart with rose petals strewn across the duvet. Your eyes widened seeing a tall metal poll in one corner of the room, red light shining down on it. Subsequently a similar color grew on your cheeks. The whole room was lavishly decorated and had several interesting adult objects lying about.

“This is.....”

“What? You can’t handle a little atmosphere, Y/n?” Minho taunted with a smirk. He tossed his bag onto a chair, seeming to enjoy your embarrassed state. 

You sat on the bed only to jump up and scream feeling it move beneath you. “It vibrates?! What the fuck! Who makes a bed that vibrates?!” Minho chuckled, possibly the first time you had ever seen him give anything remotely close to a genuine smile. 

“Not kinky are you, Y/n?” 

You froze. Your hands gripped tightly onto your bag and you pulled it higher to cover your chest in embarrassment. “Regardless, there is no way I’m sleeping on that thing.” He shrugged and flopped onto the bed, rose petals flying into the air. He looked rather comfortable, completely unphased by his surroundings. 

“Suit yourself.”

Cautiously, you sat on the plush couch holding your bag like a teddy bear. This was certainly not how you imagined your Christmas. You were so looking forward to spending Christmas with your friends. Decorating the tree. Sitting by the fire in the rented cabin. Eggnog with slightly too much rum. Giving gifts you spent way too much of your paycheck on. Now you were stuck in some hotel sex dungeon with the devil spawn. What a Happy Christmas it was turning out to be. 

❅

After getting used to the room, you showered and changed clothes to leave Minho to do the same. While he cleaned up, you phoned a nearby auto-shop and asked them to tow your car in and fix it. Finally able to resolve the stressful phone call, you let your head fall into your hands. Minho exited the bathroom rubbing his hair with a towel. 

Just as you were about to tell him the only slightly good news, the lights shut off. Both of you looked around in confusion. “Minho, did you do this? Is this some kind of prank? Cause, I’m not afraid of the dark.” He shook his head and grabbed his phone from off the dresser, using it as a flashlight. 

It was then you noticed that the room was getting colder by the second. Rubbing your arms, you shuffled over to your bag and grabbed a cardigan. A knock sounded at the door. Sighing, Minho answered it.

“Ah- Mr. Lee! We are so sorry about the inconvenience. It seems the powerlines have frozen over and the hotel has lost all electricity.” A man wearing a bellhop uniform said. Hearing the news, you came to stand next to him. “We are doing our best to get our generator up and running. It seems our heating system is also down.”

“How do you expect us to stay like this?” Minho asked with a cold stare. The man shrunk under his gaze. 

Slapping Minho’s shoulder you pushed him aside. “Stop being a grinch. Thank you so much for letting us know.” The man nodded and pulled a blanket from a nearby cart. You flinched awak from his cold hands as he passed it to you. The poor thing. He must be freezing walking around the halls in his uniform. 

“Here. This extra blanket will help. The hotel will also discount your stay.”

“No, take the blanket. We’ll be fine. You need it more than us. Thank you for doing such hard work!” The man smiled and thanked you profusely before you closed the door. Turning, you found Minho looking at you strangely. “What?”

He looked you up and down before scoffing and turning away. “You’re just so nice to everybody. You’re so gullible.” 

“Gullible?” You couldn’t believe him. “I’m not gullible. It’s called being nice. Have a little Christmas spirit will you.”

He rolled his eyes, dragging a hand through his damp hair. “I already told you. Keep all that Christmas bullshit to yourself. It’s all just an excuse for the tinsel and ornament industry to make money off losers like you.” 

There was no convincing him otherwise, so you simply watched as he pushed back the covers of the bed and climbed in. “Fine. Be a grinch or a Scrooge or a Hans Gruber for all I care.”

“Hans Gruber?” Minho questioned, head popping up in the dark. 

“Die Hard is a Christmas movie too, okay?”

You were shocked to hear a chuckle come from the big heart shaped bed. Sure, you must be imagining things, you took down a rather thin blanket from the closet and headed to your spot on the couch. Your barefeet flinched at every step on the cold hardwood floor. Curling up into a ball on the sofa, helped your body temperature rise a little bit, but you still froze with the tiny blanket you used. Eventually, you fell into a cold restless sleep. 

❅

You awoke to some shuffling in the room. Assuming Minho was getting up to get a glass of water or something you tried to go back to sleep. But, you were puzzled as you heard his footsteps come closer to the sofa. Unsure what he was doing, you pretended to be asleep, wrapping the blanket more around your shivering body. 

“I’m only doing this cause I can’t sleep with all that teeth chattering,” Minho whispered under his breath. “It’s not like I care...” 

Suddenly you felt his long fingers gently reach out for your ankle. Still pretending to be asleep you resisted the urge to flinch away. Brows furrowed and eyes still closed, you tried to figure out what he was doing. Minho tenderly pulled what you imagined to be a pair of his socks over your cold bare feet. Your breath hitched as his soft hands brushed over your skin. He was....being kind? 

Hearing movement, you shut your eyes tighter as Minho pushed himself off the ground. “That should be fine.....” He whispered. You waited, but didn’t hear him walk away. “Why am I even bothering...” Again it seemed like he stayed. After another moment of silence he shifted. 

Surprisingly, you felt his hands reach under your legs and behind your back. He lifted you into the air and pulled you into his chest, carrying you as if you were the most fragile thing he had ever touched. Minho moved across the room before gently placing you on the bed. The covers were pulled up to your chin and you felt him tuck in the fabric around your body. You were shocked to say the least. 

Surprising you further, Minho climbed into bed next to you. His arm cautiously wrapped around your stomach and pulled you flush against his warm chest. You were feeling very conflicted for many reasons. Deciding to test just what was going on, you turned around, eyes still closed, and hugged onto him tighter. You buried your face into his chest. He froze obviously contemplating what to do. 

Hesitantly, like his body was stuttering, he let his arms fall around you in an embrace. You found yourself....content. His scent was comforting. He smelled like amber and some sort of spice you couldn’t quite name. Just as you were about to fall asleep, Minho sighed and let his fingers tenderly stroke your hair.

“This doesn’t mean I like you....” He whispered. There was something in his voice that made you not believe his words. You didn’t have time to think about them, because you were soon lulled into a deep sleep. 

❅

The next morning you woke up to soft white light streaming through the hotel curtains. Minho was still asleep next to you, fingers still tangled in your hair. The room around you was cold, but your body was nothing but warm in Minho’s arms. You smiled remembering Minho’s kind action last night. Not knowing how he would react you decided it might be best if you weren’t in the room when he woke up. 

Each time you moved, you were sure the man was bound to wake up. Finally you swung your legs over the side of the bed. You smiled, looking down and seeing his gray warm socks on your feet. Your eyes widened as realization passed through your mind. 

Did you like Minho?

Looking over at Minho’s sleeping face, you felt your hears start to beat faster. Grasping at your chest, you tried to still your literally beating heart. This was not a problem for now. Minho could wake up any second and you didn’t really want to confront these possible feelings with him awake. 

Sliding into a pair of the hotel slippers, you shuffled to the door, rubbing your arms to keep warm. Slipping the keycard into your cardigan pocket, you closed the door quietly so as not to wake up the sleeping singer just yet. 

“Oh- I am so sorry!” Someone said, bumping into you. 

“It’s fin-...Hey, I know you!” You turned to find the bellhop from the night before. “Has your shift not ended yet?” 

He shook his head, shoving his hands in his pockets. “The roads are icy, plus they have everyone staying because of the power situation.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. He seriously was a hard worker. “By the way, we got our back up generator working, but there seems to be something still wrong with the heater.” 

“Don’t worry about it! Minho and I were fine last night so I’m sure the other guests were as well.”

He chuckled. “You’re really nice. You’re like walking Christmas spirit.” You smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “Oh- the kitchen staff managed to scrap together our usual breakfast service downstairs. You should go check it out. It was nice talking to you, Mrs. Lee! Merry Christmas!”

“Oh- I’m not...” But it was too late. The bellhop was already swiftly moving down the hall. 

Deciding to move past the conversation, you headed downstairs to the breakfast buffet. The lobby was full of Christmas decorations; something you had missed last night in your urgent desire to get a room. It made you smile. A reminder that Christmas Eve was tomorrow. 

Following the delectable odor of breakfast food, you wandered into the buffet area and built two plates for you and Minho. Balancing the full platters of food like a professional circus performer, you journeyed back up to the room. By some feat, you opened the door and entered the still freezing room.

Minho sat up in bed, still looking half asleep. “I...I- uh... I brought breakfast. I wasn’t sure what you liked so-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll eat anything warm right now.” 

Wearing a nervous smile, you sat down on the bed across from Minho and handed him a plate. The two of you ate in semi awkward silence, this time for a very different reason. “So-”

“About last night...” Minho started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I-...I-...you're teeth were chattering pretty loud and-”

You smiled, stopping his train of thought. You could practically see every word he had planned to say leave his brain. “You don’t have to say anything. Thank you, Minho.” The boy nodded, hair falling into his eyes as he looked down at the plate of food.

Another silence followed only slightly less awkward. “If you don’t mind me asking,” Minho’s head raised at your voice. “Why do you hate Christmas so much?” He sighed, shoving a sausage in his mouth and chewing on the savory food. 

“I just never really got the whole Christmas thing. My family never celebrated. Every time we try to get together for the holidays everything just seems to go wrong. Just like how things are going now.” He scoffed picking up another sausage.

“Okay...I can respect that. But...you’re hatred of Christmas seems to be more than that.”

Minho rolled his eyes. Contradicting his actions, he reached over and placed a piece of his toast on your plate. “It’s just....I don’t get it. Like, explain to me what is so great about Christmas.”

You set your plate down with a grin and ate the piece of toast Minho gave you. “I don’t know. I just get this warm feeling around Christmas time. I love seeing all the love that people share. There is just something about Christmas that brings people together. It’s beautiful everywhere and everything is just bright and happy.”

Minho smiled watching you talk. You rambled about all the things you loved about Christmas, from making snowmen to decorating the tree, to watching people unwrap their gifts. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something about the way you spoke that made his stomach twist in knots. 

At some point you stopped talking and noticed the dazed look on his face. “Did you even listen to me?” You looked down at your lap, slightly disappointed. Not liking the frown on your face Minho quickly nodded his head.

“Yeah, of course.” 

Before he could remedy the tension he accidentally created, your phone rang pulling away your attention. Minho watched you get off the bed and walk away to answer the phone. Your back turned, he started beating himself up about not paying full attention to what you were saying. 

“So, Minho,” You said turning to face him. “That was the auto shop. They said we should be able to pick up the car tomorrow afternoon. Thankfully we’ll be able to see the boys on Christmas Eve!” 

Minho smiled, watching your face light up at the good news. “That’s great.”

❅

After two nights in a hotel, you were finally pulling into the driveway of the rented cabin. It was gorgeous! The huge vaulted roof was covered in snow and the warm wood stood out against the blanketed white backdrop. “Minho,” You said slapping his arm to get his attention as you parked the car. “Look how pretty this is!”

He looked up from his phone, first looking at your bewildered grin, then the lodge in front of you. “Yeah,” You stared in wonder at the place you would be staying for the next week. “Really beautiful.” Turning you found Minho already looking back at you. For some reason, just the way he was looking at you had your stomach doing somersaults.

Pushing your hair behind your ear, you attempted to calm the heat on your cheeks. Both you and Minho awkwardly laughed and looked away from each other. Pressing your hands to your cheeks, you tried to pat away the blush like an idiot. 

“THEY’RE HERE!”

Suddenly, seven rambunctious boys stampeded out of the house and came bounding through the snow to your now fixed car. They pounded happily on the windows and had you not known them, the event would be absolutely terrifying. “Guys, let us out of the car!” Minho shouted with half a laugh. 

Eventually, you were dragged into the cabin by the idols and hugged until your faces turned blue. The inside was even more beautiful than the outside. Everything was made out of wood and there was practically a wall of huge windows overlooking the snow covered forest. 

“What took you guys so long?” Jisung asked hanging off your arm. 

You sighed, ruffling his fluffy hair. Minho watched with a pointed stare. “Well, my piece of junk car broke down and so Minho and I were stuck in a freezing hotel honeymoon suite. but, now we’re here and I cannot wait to start our Christmas vacation!”

“Woah, woah, woah, woah. Back up. Honeymoon suite?” Chan asked with raise brows, looking between Minho and you. The look stopped when Minho made a slice motion across his neck. “Well....um...guys I hate to break it to you, but there's only like 5 rooms and the rest of us have already paired off.”

The band collectively ‘oo-ed’ and started jokingly shoving Minho around. “Think you lovebirds can survive without biting off each other’s heads?” Jisung said jokingly. Obviously he was kidding, but you were blushing more in the last hour than probably ever in your life. 

Thankfully, Chan noticed your embarrassed state and ushered everyone away to let the two of you settle in. Christmas Eve with the rest of Stray Kids was quite possibly one of the greatest nights of your life. By the time everyone retired for the evening, it was almost midnight. Your room was smaller than the hotel suite but shared the commonality of having....one bed. 

While Minho was in the shower, you snuck downstairs to get a better look at the tree Hyunjin, Chan, and Jeongin had put up the other day. The lights twinkled on the real tree that was standing tall in the living room. A fire was raging in the fireplace. The glow of the flames reflected in the red, gold, white, and green ornaments. 

The tree reminded you of the one your parents used to put up when you were little. Feeling the urge to act childish you crawled on your hands and knees until you could lay down under the tree and look up into the lit branches. Resting your hands on your stomach, you smiled looking up at the shiny glass orbs. 

“Y/n?” Minho called out into the wide expanse that was more than an excuse for a living room. “You in here?” Turning your head, you watched his sock feet come down the stairs two at a time. 

“By the tree,”  Through the branches you watched him approach the large Christmas tree. 

Minho chuckled and kicked your leg lightly. “Whatcha doin’ down there, idiot? you look like the Wicked Witch of the East!” He soon regretted the comment as a swift kick was directed at his unprotected calf.  “Ow!” He exclaimed, rubbing his leg. “But, really, what are you doing down there?” 

“You never did this as a kid?” He shook his head. The strong smelling fronds obstructed most of his face from your view, but you could make out the glint of his round spectacles in the firelight. “Come here!” 

Letting out a sigh with an intention you couldn’t decipher, Minho got on all fours before crawling to lay next to you under the Christmas tree. His shoulder brushed up against yours, making your skin tingle. “What’s the point of this?” He whispered after a few moments of staring at the lights. 

Shrugging, you answered, “I don’t know. When I was little, my parents fought a lot. I used to walk down in the living room and lay under the tree. Sometimes I would pretend all the little lights were stars and I would wish for a Christmas miracle hoping maybe that this year they would stop fighting. Or at least fight a little less.” As you spoke, you watched the ornaments and colorful Christmas lights sparkle and twinkle. “Some years it worked. I really did get a Christmas miracle.”

“I think you were the Christmas miracle.” Minho said turning to look at you.

“I doubt that.”

“Well...you’ve made me not...not like...Christmas. I’d say that’s miracle quality.”

You laughed, reaching for his hand on instinct. His eyes widened, but the boy let you grasp onto his fingers. “Minho, you really aren’t so bad. I feel like maybe I just didn’t take the time to get to know you.” Minho grinned. You felt like it may have been the lights, but a rosy dust filled his cheeks. 

“Yeah, well....like I said. You’re my Christmas miracle.”

You were at a loss for words. Minho shifted his fingers to interlock with yours. “Can- can I kiss you?” He asked with baited breath and furrowed brows, eyes trained on your lips. If you weren’t sure of his feelings, you knew now. Fearing your voice would betray you with any attempt to speak, you nodded and looked through the glass lenses into his deep brown eyes. They were softer than you had once thought. 

Slowly leaning over Minho pressed his lips against yours. That warm feeling returned to your stomach and slowly traveled until you’re whole body felt like it was glowing. Minho kissed you under the twinkling colorful lights of the tree, earasing every other bad thought or thing he had ever said to you before. He pulled away as the grandfather clock in the hall struck twelve. 

“Merry Christmas, Minho.” You whispered, his lips still inches away from yours. 

“Merry Christmas, Y/n.”

❅

“GOOD MORNING CHRISTMAS LOVEBIRDS!” Hyunjin screamed, bursting into the room you and Minho shared. He shrieked seeing the two of you, legs tangled together under the sheets. With sleepy eyes, Minho sat up and tossed the pillow you were using at the blonde’s head. 

“Minho! That was my pillow!” Groaning, he just laid back down and pulled you into his chest, letting you use his arm as a headrest. 

Chan pulled Hyunjin from the floor shaking his head at the drama queen. “In all serious, guys, Jisung, Felix, and Jeongin are very eager to start opening presents so get your butts downstairs.” Minho raised his arm to shoo his leader away. The door closed returning you to your original state of privacy. 

Minho kissed your forehead, snuggling back under the warm duvet with you. “You know this is the first Christmas morning I’ve been excited to wake up. This time I’m just excited to see you though.” 

“Never would have pegged you for the cheesy type, Lee Minho.”

He chuckled, leaning down and capturing your lips in a kiss. You were unable to keep the smile from creeping up your face. “We should get down stairs. The boys will be missing us.” 

“Fiiiiine.” He grumbled, pushing himself off the bed. Slowly, your body still waking up, you swung your legs over the side. Before your barefeet could touch the ground, Minho’s hand once again wrapped gently around your ankle. He smiled up at you, kindness in his dark brown eyes. Tenderly, his long fingers slid a warm pair of his socks over your feet. “My Christmas miracle can’t have cold feet, can she?”

Smirking at your blush, Minho took your hand and led you out of the cabin bedroom. You joined the rest of the boys around the tree, Jisung already tearing open a gift and Seungmin passing out presents. Minho found the last empty spot on the couch and pulled you into his lap. 

“You too seem pretty cozy,” Changbin stated, with a knowing look on his face. 

Completley oblivious to the conversation, Jisung chimed in. “So, Minho, did you finally figure out what you want for Christmas? Shopping for you was so hard!” Jisung groaned, holding his new gifted plushie in his arms. 

“I gues all I want for Christmas this year is Y/n.” Minho said with a smile. He leaned over and kissed your cheek, not afraid of any of the boys making fun of him apparently. 

“SO I SHOULD JUST RETURN THE $475 JACKET I BOUGHT YOU HUH?”

❅

Masterlist

[d0llpie]

hey can i request prompt 47 with tanaka also super angsty like i want to cry

Miscarriage

tanaka x reader

Prompt: “i lost the baby”

Trigger warnings: miscarriage, heavy angst, like really a whole lot of painful angst just angst

a/n: thanks for the request, i hope you cry <3 I will be making a part 2 btw

wc: 2.6k part 2

You were arguing with Tanaka, again. It started when he came home around an hour ago, three hours past when you planned a date with him. It had taken ages for you to convince him to go on a proper date since he was always ‘busy’. You needed to tell him you were pregnant, wanted to celebrate with him. Instead you were left with 50 unread messages and Tanaka waltzing in the house as if nothing was wrong. When he came and kissed you on the cheek “hey baby” like nothing had happened you snapped. “Where the fuck were you Ryu?” you stood up from the kitchen bench and begun throwing accusation after accusation at him while he just stood shocked, belittling you for ‘overreacting’ at his ‘simple mistake’.

“Oh you want me to apologize for being stood up? Hm?” You throat felt raw from the screaming, desperately just wanting him to apologize and tell him about the baby so you could make up and move on. Tanaka, stubborn as ever, wouldn’t let that happen. “I never said that, you’re working yourself up, stop stressing yourself out.” His calm tone only irked you even more, he could at least pretend to care. “What were you doing that had you so pre-occupied? Or should I ask who?” he snapped his head towards you, visibly annoyed, at least you finally caught his full attention. “What the fuck y/n? Are you seriously accusing me of cheating because I forgot about your stupid date? You know we can go on a date any other time why are you acting like such a bitch right now? Fuck sake you’re so dramatic.” You fought back the tears in your eyes, slamming your fist down on the table “When was the last time we went on a date- a real one? I wanted to spend some time with you ALONE for once to talk to you, but instead you can’t even tell me why you were soo busy to even send me a text cancelling.” A few stray tears slipped out in frustration, but you continued to glare at him, egging him on further. “I was out with some friends Jesus y/n, why do you have to bring your insecurities into everything.” You were hit with a wave of nostalgia, he’d said that line to you when you started dating in high school.

“Tanaka, hey baby, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my class to eat lunch today, I want to tell you something” You smiled up at your boyfriend as he smiled back “Of course baby! I gotta go to practice, want to come watch?” he pecked your cheek quickly, smiling widely at you proudly “Oh sorry, I have to study for a text next period but I’ll see you at lunch!” his face dropped but the bell rang, signaling your next class “Bye Tanaka!” you waved cheerily as he walked back towards the gym.

y/n: Hi, I’m in my class for lunch now :) see you soon <3

read

You frowned holding the homemade lunch you had wanted to give him. After around 15minutes you realized he wasn’t coming. You went to the gym to see if he was there with Noya, you entered the gym and found them both watching Kiyoko with lovesick expressions on their faces, spewing out compliments profusely. “Tanaka.. hey” he looked over to see you in the doorway “Y/N, hey! What’s up?” you stood there in shock for a minute before clearing your throat “Um can I talk to you?” he looked over at Kiyoko who was ignoring Nishinoya before reluctantly making his way over to you. “How come you didn’t come to lunch” you frowned lightly and he sighed “Its not like you came to my practice either, plus, I was hanging out with my friends, don’t bring your insecurities into this I told you Kiyoko doesn’t like me.” He pouted and you felt your heart clench. “Do you still like her?” you whispered and although he heard you, he pretended he didn’t. You plastered on a fake smile before retreating to the classroom, ignoring his texts and calls for the rest of the day until he brought you a bouquet of roses the next day. It was your first of multiple fights over his obvious crush on his manager. Eventually you got sick of the fighting and sappy make-ups so you just ignored it, knowing he could never have her and was with you because he loved you. Right?

“Fine. I’m sorry for accusing you, I’m not sorry for everything else, why won’t you just fucking talk to me!” The exhaustion from fighting was catching up with you and you began to feel light-headed. “Because it’s not a big deal y/n! Wait-what’s wrong?” you sighed, leaning against the wall “It’s the fucking baby and this stupid fight what do you think.” You spat at him and he stopped thinking for a moment. “Baby?” you looked up to see him smiling nervously at  you “Yeah you’d have known if you hadn’t stood me up.” He pinched the bridge of his nose “we’re having a baby, can you let this go?” you scoffed, done with this fight you stormed up to your shared bedroom, crawling into bed and staying as far from his side as possible. You placed a hand over your stomach, softly crying into the pillow while Tanaka stayed downstairs, opting to sleep on the couch.

Noya: Yoo how’d y/n take it?

Tanaka: she’s pregnant

Noya: oh shit, what’re you gonna do

Tanaka: what do you mean what am I gonna do? Raise a baby I guess, fuck idk man

Noya: that’s tough, Kiyoko is staying at mine😍 pray for me bro🙏🏼😩

Tanaka: lucky, i’m on the fucking couch

Noya: sucks🥶

He sighed before turning his phone off, fuck.

The next day you woke up to breakfast in bed and a very happy Tanaka smiling at you, “good morning, how are my babies feeling?” you wanted to roll your eyes and stay mad but you couldn’t deny the way your heart fluttered when he referred to you and your child as his babies. “good morning ryu..what’s all this?” you were expecting an apology like usual, or at least for him to acknowledge what happened “You’re eating for two now I guess! When’s your next appointment?” he seemed really freaked out so you placed a hand over his “next week, are you feeling okay?” you pressed the back of your hand against his forehead, he felt fine just a little sweaty. “I’m good, want to go out for dinner after work?” you were hesitant but nodded “You’ll come right?” it’s like his mood did a 180 when you said that “What’s that supposed to mean” he spoke through gritted teeth, trying to remain calm and collected. “You know…yesterday?” he scoffed “still hung up on that huh? You gonna berate me for every mistake I make when this baby pops out of you?” you were wide awake now “woah wait, I didn’t say that-“ “you accuse me of stuff, why can’t I do the same?” his tone was growing angrier by each syllable he spoke. You looked down in your lap, feeling your eyes well up with tears again. “Tanaka please stop” you whispered and he snapped “Yeah doesn’t feel great when you just want to stop but they keep going huh?” you don’t even remember why he was getting worked up, because you didn’t want him to stand you up again? You fiddled with your fingers and zoned out while he continued yelling.

You finally looked up when you heard the bedroom door close, breathing in deeply before hunching over as a sharp pain in your abdomen stopped you from making any big or sudden movements. You groaned out in pain, stopping Tanka immediately. Tanaka ran a hand over his head stressfully “are you okay? Shit. Uh, I’m going to call an ambulance” you groaned again “Call Yachi, she can take me I think we need some-“ tears pricked your eyes and you started to sweat “space, I’ll call you when I’m there.” You could see his eyes well up with tears. His hands were opening and closing, wanting to hold you but knowing better than to do that.

Yachi came over shortly after and lead you to the car. Tanaka saw the blood on your shorts and held his breath, letting a few tears roll down his cheeks. You were silent in the car over, crying softly and groaning in pain every few minutes. Yachi looked over worriedly at you, holding your hand and letting you squeeze her hand for reassurance. “Y/n don’t move ill get a nurse to help you out.” You arrived through the emergency section of the hospital and texted Tanaka

y/n: I’m going into the emergency room now

tanaka: okay, let me know what’s happening

He shut off his phone with a shaky breath, deciding to call his friends over.

Tanaka: Noya?

Noya: hey bro what’s up

Tanaka: Y/n’s in the hospital, can you come over?

Noya: What happened? Kiyoko is here man..

Tanaka: Bring her here, I don’t know what happened she started bleeding and crying

Noya: wtf? Did you hit her?

Tanaka: You know I’d never do that. I think it’s the baby…

Noya: We’re on our way, we have whiskey

Tanaka heard knocking and made his way to the door, he opened it to see Noya and Kiyoko there. “Hey, thank you both for coming.” he stepped aside to let them enter “So how’d the break-up go, is she okay?” he looked quizzically at Noya “You didn’t tell her?” he shook his head “sorry, we were watching a movie..” Tanaka looked unamused by Noya before turning to Kiyoko “We started fighting about me hanging with you guys instead of our date and she told me she was pregnant” Kiyoko looked at him disappointedly “You left a pregnant girl?!” it was unusual for Kiyoko to raise her voice but she felt horrible your you, she knew how much you loved Tanaka and she always felt guilty in high school for what you had to put up with, because of her. “What? No! I didn’t break up with her because she’s pregnant but now...I don’t know, she was bleeding and in pain and she’s in the emergency room now..” Kiyoko was restraining from slapping him, digging her nails into her palms. “Why aren’t you with your pregnant girlfriend, it’s bad enough you don’t love her and now this? You know a baby requires actually raising a human?” He dropped his head down, “I know, I already feel horrible…what if something’s happening to the baby?” he sat down on the couch, taking the bottle from Noya’s hand and taking a swig. “You can still raise a baby and not be together…” Noya spoke up, sitting down next to him while Kiyoko turned the tv on. “It’s not fair on you guys or the baby if you stay together.” He knew he was right, he’d been putting this off for too long, he settled for you and got comfortable with the live you showed him that eventually he stopped showing it back. He can’t remember when he fell out of love but he didn’t want to leave you, he loved you still he just wasn’t in love with you. Deep down you knew, you never let yourself think that for long though. Afraid you’ll end up leaving him, Yachi had tried to get you to leave before but you could never stand the idea. Lately it was like you were already broken up, two awkward college roommates. The idea of raising a baby with him scared you, you were so stressed and sick of overthinking that you passed out in the hospital after a few hours, forgetting to call Tanaka.

You stepped out of the car, hesitating to close the door as you breathed in deeply. It was around 4pm the next day and you had just been discharged from the hospital. “Do you want me to wait here?” Yachi asked from the drivers seat, her eyes were red and puffy, she’d been up all night holding your hand and crying with you. “I think it’ll be okay…why is Kiyoko’s car here?” your eyes stuck to the black car in the driveway that you knew was Kiyoko’s “y/n, i’m gonna wait here you should go inside hes probably worried…” you nodded before approaching the front door. Your legs felt like lead as you stepped up to the door, taking your key out and unlocking the door.

“Ryu?” you moved further into the house, seeing a passed out Tanaka on the couch across from a passed out Kiyoko. “Tanaka.” You said a little louder, making him stir.

Noya came into the living room from behind you “hey y/n, how are you?” he looked hungover and that’s when you noticed the empty bottles on the floor. “Hi noya- Tanaka!” you yelled this time, waking up both Kiyoko and Tanaka. “Y/n? heyyy, how was the hospital?” he yawned and sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes. You wanted to run to him and hold him, but you stopped yourself, trying not to focus on how tight your chest felt and the tears building up in your eyes again. “Y/n?” you heard Kiyoko’s soft voice from beside you and you broke down into tears, she caught you before you fell and moved you to the couch, rubbing your back. “I lost the baby.” You continued to cry as the other three in the room sat frozen. “Y/n, i’m so sorry, i’m so so sorry, I’ll come back later but I think we should go…Noya?” Kiyoko hugged you tightly before grabbing Noya and exiting the house.

Tanaka was silent, tears rolling down his cheeks. “What happened y/n?” he avoided looking in your eyes “they said it was because of stress…Tanaka I can’t take this anymore..” you sniffled looking in your lap. He looked up to see how tired and broken you looked, feeling his heart clench. “Y/n, I swear Kiyoko and Noya came over to hang out, I don’t have feelings fo-“ “It’s not about your feelings for her, it’s about your feelings for me…I need you to be honest” he gripped your hand, his lip quivering “I don’t want to lose you y/n…” “You aren’t in love with me Tanaka, i’m not stupid” you chuckled softly, rubbing the rest of your tears away. His silence said enough and so you stood up. “Y/n, don’t go” you scoffed “you can’t keep doing this to me, making me stay with you like this” you commended yourself on the way your voice didn’t waver. “I know, I know, but I-“ he stopped himself, knowing he couldn’t stop you. “I still care about you, I always will.” You nodded, cupping his cheek softly “I know baby, I love you Ryu.”

You walked back outside and sat in the passenger seat of Yachi’s car. You put on some music and she looked over at you before driving away, not asking any questions.

Tanaka sat on the floor of his lounge room, staring into his hands and crying, you were really gone and he couldn’t fix it, it was him who pushed you away anyway. It was him who had to deal with it now.

   a/n: sorry for writing this, i might make a happy ending part 2, send me ideas if you would like to see that <3

[brrrritscoldinhere]

Brief mention of sex (but nothing explicit), brief relationship abuse, a lot of cursing, and heavy angst (idk if i know how to write angst but :D)

“Sirius?”

Sirius looked up from the ground to find a certain werewolf with a frown on his face. The rest of his expression remained neutral, even his eyes. Classic Remus Lupin, never showed his true emotions. Always so blank.

“Mm?” Sirius murmured, not meeting the other boy’s eyes so he couldn’t see the turmoil in them.

“You look,” Remus started, pausing awkwardly and rubbing the back of his neck, “sad.”

Sirius, with as much effort as he could muster, forced a hopefully convincing smile onto his lips. “I’m not. Just tired. You know, with exams and all.”

Remus paused again before slowly saying, “Exams are three months away.” He raised an eyebrow. “Even the teachers haven’t started pestering us on revision yet.”

Sirius mentally slapped himself. “Well, uh, I’m revising a bunch myself. It’s tiring, you know?”

Remus didn’t say anything back, just stared at him with those emotionless eyes of his.

“Well, I, uh, have go get going now. James wants me to... hang out with him.” Sirius internally cringed at his lie. “See you, Moons.”

As Sirius turned away, Remus asked abruptly, “It’s not about your boyfriend, is it? What’s his name, Philipp?”

Sirius froze before turning back to face the werewolf, faux smile already forming across his face. “No, of course not! Why would you think that?”

Remus stared at him with narrowed eyes before turning and walking away.

The truth was, Philipp had been the first to approach Sirius. Blonde, tall and good looking, Sirius had taken to him immediately. They both seemed to have the same humour and interests, and were able to hold on conversations for hours on end. They were like a perfect match.

It wasn’t long before Sirius started catching feelings. He hadn’t really liked someone in years, only going for flings and one night stands. But Philipp, he’d thought, was different from the others. Philipp was the guy who understood him most, apart from his best friends.

Sirius had confessed and they started dating immediately. Philipp was always one to initiate touches, which Sirius warmly welcomed. But James, Peter and even Remus showed discomfort whenever they had kissed or brought their hands just a little too low for others’ eyes. It made Sirius a little annoyed.

“It’s not that we don’t like you being with him, you look happy,” James had said when Sirius confronted them about it. “It’s just that... we barely know Philipp. And it’s a little... awkward whenever you guys get a little... handy.”

Peter scoffed. “That’s to put it mildly. You two were nearly having sex in the common room while we were trying to study. You had half your shirt off, Sirius.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes as anger began to brew in his stomach. “Like you’re any better, Wormy, you and your girlfriend in the dorms—"

Peter glared at him. “Shut up.”

Sirius had felt a sick sense of satisfaction before Remus cut in. “You both shut your mouths. This isn’t going anywhere. Simplest solution to this? Keep it in your goddamn pants until you’re alone. If that’s too much, do a quickie in a fucking bathroom or something.”

Sirius let out a huff before rolling his eyes. “Fine. Whatever. I’m going to go find Philipp.”

Now, Sirius regretted ever having anything to do with his boyfriend.

As they days passed, Philipp grew more and more obsessed and possesive over Sirius, not letting the boy talk to anyone without him just beside the boy, and looking through any letters he got and delivered. It crossed the line when Philipp started sorting out through letters Sirius had gotten from his family. The argument ended in screams and insults thrown at each other, which caused Sirius to nearly cry. They made up with sex a few hours later, though.

Sirius realised that, the morning after when he had woken up with his boyfriend gone from the bed, Philipp had never apologised once.

It got to the breaking point when Philipp suggested he stopped talking to the Marauders while they were sitting on the grass outside.

“What?” Sirius nearly yelled, turning his head to Philipp. “What do you mean, stop talking to them? That’s utter fucking bullshit! They’re my goddamn friends, Phil, you can’t just tell me not to ghost them!”

Philipp narrowed his eyes. “Fine. It’s either me or them, Sirius. Choose between us.”

Sirius was frozen, thoughts muddled and in a whirlwind. Philipp or the Marauders? It was supposed to be an obvious choice, an easy one. But Sirius couldn’t decide. Why didnhe even have to decide? Why couldn’t he have both?

But Sirius shook his head, eyes narrowing. “No. They were here for me first. You can’t just expect me to abandon my friends because you want me to. Especially after all the shit you’ve done to me.”

“I was trying to protect you!” Philipp roared, making Sirius flinch back. “I wanted the best for you! Clearly your so-called friends want me out of the picture because they’re jealous of the time we spend together!”

Before Sirius could even open his mouth to speak, Philipp raised a hand, and the other boy flinched back horribly.

A hand caught Philipp’s a centimetre away from Sirius’ cheek.

“Well. I see that this date is going well?”

Sirius raised his head to find Remus holding back Philipp’s hand. He shoved the blonde boy back, standing in front of Sirius, as if guarding him.

“Listen mate, you’re not really in any position to hit my best friend,” Remus said impassively. “Either hands off of him from now on or I’m reporting you.”

Philipp laughed, a manic, crazy sound. “Please, I’m his boyfriend. Do you think I’ll listen to you? Do you think he’ll listen to you?”

Remus raised an eyebrow and faced Sirius. “Well? You want to stay with this crazy bastard then, Sirius?”

Sirius swallowed, glancing at Philipp and back to Remus, hesitating. However, the few seconds of silence seemed to make Remus understand. His expression turned icy, back straightening. He nodded.

“I’ll be taking my leave now.”

Remus started walking away, and Philipp hung an arm around Sirius’ shoulders. “Bitch. Called me a crazy bastard.”

Sirius shrugged off his arm and ran towards where Remus had disappeared into the castle, ignoring Philipp’s shouts of his name.

“Remus?” Sirius yelled when he entered the common room. He found the werewolf curled up in an armchair, holding a book.

His hands were shaking.

“Remus?” Sirius whispered, walking towards the werewolf timidly.

“I don’t know why you’re with him,” Remus said suddenly, voice sharp. “Do you not see what he’s doing to you? He’s fucking crazy! He’s obsessed with controlling you and he hates knowing that you’re hanging with other people, even though they’re all clearly your friends. He’s toxic as fuck, he makes you second guess yourself constantly. Don’t even try to deny it, I’ve seen it happen more times than I can count. He does things to your head, Sirius. He’s fucked up. Why can’t you just see that?”

Sirius kept quiet, tears brimming in his eyes as the truth was forcefully shoved into his face. He knew he had realised this long ago, but only now was he coming to terms with it. Only now was he accepting the truth. So fucking stupid.

“You deserve more than him,” Remus croaked, voice breaking. It shattered Sirius’ heart. “You deserve so much more. But you won’t let yourself have it.”

Sirius felt tears spill down his cheeks.

“And it fucking hurts to know that I’m not worth enough for you.”

Sirius snapped his head up to look at Remus, whose eyes were closed tightly, but tears still streamed down his face.

“Remus,” Sirius whispered, voice broken.

“I’m sorry,” Remus whispered, pained breaths hissing through his clenched teeth. “I knew he was bad for you— but you looked so happy. I didn’t want to take that away. I— I knew I had no right to say anything, because I’m no better than him. And when he started— started acting like an asshole, I didn’t want to say anything. You were already so mad at James and Peter for telling you to stop being so touchy with him in front of them, how would you react if I told you he was a toxic bitch? What if you hated me? What if you thought that I was trying to, I don’t know, break you two apart?”

“Remus, please,” Sirius whispered brokenly.

“He was your everything,” Remus muttered. “And I... I’m nothing to you.”

Sirius didn’t even think. He just ripped the book from Remus’ hands and pressed his lips against the werewolf’s, grief and sadness and overwhelming emotion fuelling the kiss.

It was a mess of feelings and tears, and the ever growing need to be nearer to each other. It was pure, raw, and nothing like they’d ever experienced in their lives.

They broke apart after a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes before Remus pushed him off.

“Sirius, no,” Remus whispered, not looking at him. “No. I’m— no. This— we can’t happen.”

Sirius glared at him. “And tell me why. Why it can’t work. Because, Remus, I seem to fucking like you. And it seems you do too, judging from that kiss we just had.”

“You’re still with Philipp,” Remus muttered.

“I’ll break up with him.”

They stayed silent for a while, before Sirius whispered, “If it’s because you think you’re not worthy of me, Remus Lupin, you’ve never been more wrong in your entire life.”

Remus sucked in a breath.

“You’re one of the smartest people I know,” Sirius said quietly. “You’re compassionate, kind, and caring as fuck. You don’t show it, but I can see through your facade. You’re determined when you want something, and you fight for it. You’re fucking amazing, Remus. You hold this— this fire in your eyes, and it’s like it’s driving you forward every day. Anything you face, you do it with as much courage and bravery anyone could possibly have. You’re— you’re a beacon, Rem. You’re a light that gives me direction. And I— I think I love you for that. I think I love you. And you being a werewolf doesn’t change any of that. An added bonus that you’re pretty cute, too.”

Finally, finally, a laugh from Remus. It sounded so much better than the ragged sobs he’d been trying to hide.

“I’ll break up with him,” Sirius murmured, nuzzling into Remus’ side, hands coming up to wipe away the tears on the werewolf’s face.

“What if he doesn’t let you?”

Sirius chuckled. “I’ll get James. And Lily.”

“You’re really trying to scare him shitless, really? Those two?”

Sirius shrugged. “Hey. He deserves it.”

Remus laughed, a breathy sound that was rarely heard by anyone. “That, I agree.”

[adezahnae]

My Roomie (Part 5)

A/N: I had to write this TWICE AND IM TIRED AS HELL🙄🖕🏾 here is Part 5💕🥺

Warnings: Smut, fighting, slight bdsm..?, another watching others of sex (idk what it’s called😭), tension, plot twist, etc...

Tagged People: @ahgasearmyfan @whoreforshuaaa

Your POV

I walked down the halls for me to return back to my dorm to get back to Jongin. As I was walking, I heard some girls whispering my name. I ignored it and continue to walk. They then called my name. I turned around. “Yes?” I replied. “Kai is your boyfriend, right?” She asked. “Yes, why?” I asked. She smirked. “Just know that he’s cheating on you.” She said. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“What?” I asked. She laughed and rubbed her stomach. “This is his baby, who which he tries to refuse.” She rolled her eyes. “Even if it was his, what does that have to do with me?” I asked crossing my arms. “Because your man is sleeping with me is why.” She laughed.

I furrowed my eyebrows and landed a punch to her face. She fell on the ground and we began to fight. “STUPID BITCH!! KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!” I yelled. I felt someone pull me off of her and drag me out the school to outside. “LET ME GO!” I yelled. They sat me down and sat down as well.

I seen that it was Jamie. “What do you want?” I asked brushing my clothes off. “Could you stop?” He asked. “Stop what?” I asked. “Stop trying to be a bitch and ruin girl’s lives because they say something about Jongin.” He rolled his eyes as he pulled out something to clean my lip. “No one is gonna talk about him without me saying or doing something.” I mumbled.

He groaned. “You don’t have to defend that man all the damn time. Who was that girl anyways?” He asked cleaning the blood off my lip. “I don’t know, her name was Lia I guess..” I shrugged. “Yeah? Well that’s his ex. So be careful with her.” He said. “What? Because she’s pregnant?” I rolled my eyes. “Yes. You wanna go to jail for murdering an unborn baby?” He asked. I laughed a little bit.

“Well tell his exes to keep them in their place.” I said. He shook his head with a chuckle. “You get fucked really good and now you’re just all that?” He joked. I giggled and playfully pushed him. “You want some ice cream?” He asked. “Sure, Jongin won’t be here to get for another 20 minutes I guess..” I said. “Okay, let’s go..” He said.

We walked down the street and got an ice cream cone. We began to joke and laugh at things we talked about. I began to feel bad for snapping at him the other day. “Hey Jamie? I’m sorry for..snapping at you the other day. I was just a little bit upset.” I said. “It’s alright, it happens to the best of us right?” He laughed. I smiled and nodded as well. We began to talk again. As we were, I felt someone yank me up by my hair.

I screamed and began to kick. “Jongin! Let her go!!” Jamie exclaimed. I turned around. “I-I’ll be fine Jamie, it was nice talking to you!” I said waving as I was still being dragged by my hair. We made it to Jongin’s car and he opened it and put me in it. He slammed the door shut and walked over to the other side. Jamie ran up to the car. “Let her go, Jongin! You don’t own her!” Jamie yelled.

“Keep your ASS AWAY FROM HER! I WARNED YOU DIDN’T I?!” Jongin yelled. “FUCK YOU DUMB ASS! YOU DON’T OWN HER!!” Yelled back Jamie. Jongin grabbed Jamie by his shirt. “You know how I get Jamie. I will fuck you up just how I did when we were younger..” Jongin growled. “I hate you...I WISH I WAS NEVER RELATED TO YOU!!” Jamie yelled. I then got out of the car. “Jongin! Leave him alone!” I said. “Get your ass back in the car. You’re in enough already.” He spat at me.

“Please!” I begged. He breathed out and pushed Jamie away from him. He walked back to the car and I got back in. He started the car and pulled off. I waved at Jamie in the window. I turned back to Jongin. “Jongin..” I called. He didn’t reply and kept his eyes on the road. I sighed and sat back in my seat.

I sat in the chair, nervous and shaking. He walked around me as he looked at me. “What was the thing I tell you every damn day?” He asked. “Remember who you love..” I replied with shaky breathing. He hummed. “So why was it that I saw you talking to Jamie?” He asked as pulled my head back by my hair. I gasped and my breathing quickened. “I...I was just making up with him..” I replied.

“I’m guessing the other day wasn’t enough for you understand. You don’t talk to that motherfucker.” He growled. I whimpered. He gripped my shirt and ripped it half. I gasped as he ripped the rest off my body. He took a piece of it and wrapped it around my eyes, using it as a blindfold. I saw nothing but black but I felt his presence around me.

I heard his steps come in front of me and kneeled down in front of me. He lifted my legs up and ripped my leggings. I gasped and tapped his hand. “J-Jongin, I-“ “Keep your fucking hands to yourself.” He growled. I quickly took my hands away from him and he continued. He ripped them from my legs, literally, and tied them around my wrists. He picked me up and threw me on the bed. I lifted up my body only to be pushed back down. “Did I tell you to get up?” He asked. “No..” I whimpered. “No what?” He growled as he gripped my neck. “No Daddy..” I mumbled.

He pulled his hand away, making me miss it and he pulled my legs apart. He gripped my underwear and ripped them as well. I gasped and he stuffed them in my mouth. “You better not cum. Do you understand me?” He asked. I nodded my head and breathed out. I felt him push two fingers in without warning. I groaned out and arched my back. He began to thrust them at a hard pace, grazing over my G-Spot. I whimpered and moved my hips to get him to hit that spot again. He smacked my thigh, making me Yelp.

“Did I say to move?” He asked. I shook my head. “No Daddy!!” I whined. “Then be still.” He said. He spat on my bud and sucked on it. I began to clench around his fingers. “You better fucking not.” He warned. I began to hold back my orgasm. I whining and crying out his name. He pulled away finally. The cold air brushed across my area, making me shiver. I heard him undress himself and his clothes drop to the floor. I heard him unbuckle his belt, but his movements stopped at the bang of the door in our dorm.

“You stay right here. If you move a fucking inch, you aren’t cumming for a damn month.” He spat. I nodded. “Yes Daddy..” I heard him walk out the room and I hear Jamie’s voice. “What are you doing to her?!” He exclaimed. “Why the hell do you care?!” Jongin yelled back. I wanted to get up and stop the fight, but I didn’t want to disrespect him again. I heard footsteps run in the room.

“What the fuck, Jongin?! WHY IS SHE TIED UP AND HER CLOTHES ARE RIPPED!? ARE YOU RAPING HER?!” Jamie exclaimed. Jamie’s hand touched my cheek, feeling the tears. “Why in hell I’d rape her? I’m not a sick ass. It’s called punishment, you inexperienced fuck.” Jongin said with annoyed sigh. “Punishment? What is she getting punished for?” Jamie asked. I wanted to say something to stop them from fighting. Jongin laughed. “Don’t you think it’s obvious?” He asked. “Just for talking to me?! You are sick! Just leave Y/n out of this!! Y/n are you okay? Speak to me.” Jamie asked with concern.

“Y/n. you speak and I mean it, you aren’t cumming for a month.” Jongin warned. I nodded in understandment. “I want to know if she’s okay!!” Jamie cried. “Y/n if you are okay. Say ‘Yes Daddy.’” Jongin said. “Yes Daddy.” I replied. Jamie sighed. “Okay..” He mumbled. “You know Jamie, I think you enjoy this..” Jongin said. “What?” Jamie asked. “Seeing Y/n all tied up like this. You like her don’t you?” Jongin asked, running his fingers through my hair. I sighed at the feeling of the comfort. Jamie went a little bit silent. “N-No..this is terrible!” Jamie exclaimed. I could even tell he was lying.

“Lying ass...” Jongin mumbled. I felt Jongin get up and walk to the door. “Let me teach you some things...” Jongin said. I could hear the smirk in his voice. He closed the door and locked it. I hear Jamie stand up. “I’m not like you, Jongin.” He said. “Oohh but you are baby bro...” Jongin teased. Baby brother? THIS IS HIS BROTHER?!

I whimpered in confusion. “You wanna put on a little show for my little brother, baby? Hm?” Jongin asked, caressing my cheek. I was so conflicted. We never did this in front of anyone! It’s always been the two of us. I felt my cheeks go red. “I don’t know...” I mumbled. “Aww, you’re shy? Well count this as another part of your punishment. Open your legs.” Jongin said, tapping my legs. I did so and he brushed his fingers over my heat. I whimpered and arched my back.

“No, don’t look away. Sit down in that chair and watch.” Jongin said to Jamie. I heard the chair being moved and Jamie sitting in it. “Good job..” Jongin praised. He landed a smack to my vagina. I yelped and let out a moan. Jongin pulled me up and turned me around to my hands and knees. I arched my back and put my face in the pillows. He spanked me on my butt and I groaned.

He landed another blow to my butt making moan louder. He did smack after smack after smack, making me wetter each time. I felt Jongin grip my hair. “Don’t get happy slut, this is still a punishment.” He growled in my ear. I nodded my head and whimpered as he smacked my butt again. He pulled off his belt and undid his jeans. He threw them both on the floor. “Aww are you hard? You wanna fuck her? This is your punishment too. Don’t you touch yourself. You sit a watch.” He said Jamie. “Okay..” Jamie said.

Jongin arched my back more and turned me to where I was facing Jamie. He got behind me and tore off my bra, releasing my breasts. He massaged over them and I leaned my head back. “Daddy...” I mumbled. As he was massaging them, he pulled down his underwear and placed his member in me. I moaned and wiggled my butt back. He spanked me. “Don’t get fucking greedy slut.” He said.

He began to thrust at a fast and hard pace. I gripped the sheets in front of me, groaning at the feeling and the sounds of my heat. “Fuck you’re wet. You little slut...” Jongin mumbled. “Don’t call her that..” Jamie said. “Shut up, she likes it. Don’t you slut?” He teased. I nodded and groaned. “Yess!” Jongin chuckled and spanked me again. “That’s my good girl..” He praised. My cheeks went pink at the praise. “You want Jamie to hear those pretty pretty sounds?” He asked. I nodded. He took my wet, torn panties from my mouth and threw them on the floor.

I felt free to whine and moan out. “Daddy!!” I said. I put my head down and bit my lip. Jongin gripped my jaw, forcing me to look up at Jamie. He untied the blindfold over my eyes and threw it somewhere in the room. My eyes adjusted to the light. I felt his cold necklace touch my neck. “Look up at him and show him your fucked out face..” Jongin said to me. I did so and I looked in his eyes.

As I was looking, I could see the resemblance in between him and Jongin. How did I not get this? Jamie’s eyes was filled with worry and lust. He also looks fucked out. I decided to give him a tease. I licked my lips at him, humming. He blinked and shifted in his seat, I could see his hard on. “You like it when she teases you huh?” Jongin asked. “Do it again for him baby.” He said. I licked my lips again and stuck my tongue out. “Good girl..” He praised, kissing my neck. I gasped and gripped the sheets.

“Daddy...I’m so c-close..” I whimpered. “Hmm, do you think you deserve to cum? Hm? After you were talking to my baby brother?” Jongin asked. I nodded my head. “I’m sorry Daddy! This will be the last time I see him! I won’t speak to him again!” I whined. He hummed. “Fine then..cum.” He said. I gasped and reached my high. My legs were shaking as I squirted all over. He groaned and thrust faster and harder, chasing his own high.

He moaned out and gripped on my hips as he came. I twitched at the feeling of him filling me up. He calmed down from his high and pulled out. I fell down on the bed and sighed. He looked over at Jamie. “So?” Jongin asked. “You’re still sick as fuck..” Jamie said. “You wish that you were the one who got to fuck her huh?” Jongin asked with a smirk, smacking my butt. I whimpered and bit my lip.

“She isn’t a slut, you shouldn’t degrade her like this..” Jamie said. “Who said I was actually treating her like one? Another thing, it’s called dirty talk. Whatever you say during sex doesn’t mean the truth.” Jongin explained, putting on sweatpants. “She looks pale..” Jamie mumbled. “She’s just sleepy. Lift your butt up, baby.” Jongin said. I did so with wobbly legs but he helped me up.

He began to clean up the mess on my legs and heat. I sighed in relief. “Wow, didn’t know you’d actually care.” Jamie rolled his eyes. “It’s called aftercare. And yes, I do care.” Jongin said. He let my hips go on the bed and grabbed one of his hoodies. He pulled it over my body and laid me by the pillows. He placed blankets over my legs and I cuddled up against the pillows, falling in and out of asleep.

“You really care for her?” I heard Jamie ask. “Did you think I was an abusive boyfriend?” Jongin asked. “Sadly, yes..” Jamie admitted. “I just think, you were such a player and..you slept with so many girls that.” Jamie was cut off by Jongin laughing. “Look, just because our dad was a jackass, beat mom and slept with many women doesn’t mean I’m the same. I have consideration in what I do. Dad didn’t.” He replied.

“Oh..I misjudged you..” Jamie said. “It’s cool. Now go and take care of your dick. It’s making me uncomfortable.” Jongin cringed. “Oh okay...” Jamie said leaving out the room. He stopped and turned around. “Hey hyung?” Jamie called. “Yes?” Jongin replied. “I’m sorry..” He said back. “It’s alright.” Jongin said. Jamie left out the door. Jongin crawled in the bed with me. I snuggled closer to his chest and breathed. He placed a kiss on my forehead and caressed my hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me Jamie was your brother?” I asked. “I just didn’t want you to know.” He said. “Why?” I asked. “I didn’t need him to take you away.” He said. “Take me away? Why would he do that?” I asked. He breathed out. “Well..” He started.

[miyaniacs]

Hey bby 🥺❤️

You know how i’ve been feeling lately and it feels like nothing is worth it anymore bc i keep messing up and i’m just so unsatisfied and disappointed in myself idk what to do anymore :( sorry to ab*se this situation now but can i request some Osamu comfort?🥺 👉🏼👈🏼

Ayt so : you can ab*se me as much as you want bby🥺❤️ also sorry that this is kinda bad :((( 

First some ( idk kinda bad sorry) HC’s and afterwards a small oneshot

masterlist

OSAMU and a depressed reader

Okay what would he do when he finds out

Well

He’ll be pissed.

Because you’re amazing??? And how tf can you let this thoughts consume your mind ???

AND NOT TELL HIM IMMEDIATELY

So he can stop those thoughts???

But here we are now - the mess is made

And he has to work his magic now

Will definitely let you tell him everything if you feel comfy with

Mentally taking notes

He’ll make sure to look for the small sings in the future that show that this thoughts will come up again - so he can stop them before things get that bad

As for now

He will shower you with affaction

Will also help you getting distracted - by doing something like cooking together ( lol sorry had to )

Meanwhile he will make sure to leave small remarks all the time how amazing you’re at this and what a fast learner you are etc

All the things that slowly without being too obvious - help you change the way you think

Also as soon as you feel a bit better he’ll sit down with you and talk about it

Will definitely keep up the poker face until you break down and cry and he’s now panicking and crying too??

He thought he was prepared to see you cry and in his head he had the whole scenario planned out and how he’d act like the perfect boyfriend he is

But guess what

It’s a whole different story when you actually cry???

It’s a mess

Why tf do I feel as if he’ll call his mother at one point and asks what to do because he‘s just too overwhelmed

He will also help you getting better at certain things you doubt yourself in

If it’s art? He’ll gladly make time to take art classes with you

If you feel not sporty enough? He will take you with him, Atsumu & Aran to the gym

ALSO def. The type to be kinda awkward at vocally expressing his emotions and how much he loves and adores you

Soooooo

You’ll get those cute sticky notes in heart or panda or onigiri shape with a thing he loves about you every day from now on

He will also make sure to tell you that it’s not your fault that you feel that way - it’s so hard because of all the pressure that’s put up on people our age and he also feels that way sometimes

Looking around we just see the things others want to show - and we forget that everyone struggles and that those we look up to probably has been at the same point you’re at rn - but they got out of it and look at them now. So it’s okay to have those days - but remember to get help if you can’t escape those thoughts alone

Will also beg you again that you talk to him the next time

Also?? Will also take you to the doctor to get your blood checked to make sure you’re not lacking anything that just encourages those toxic thoughts

Cute moments to mention:

You getting flour all over his face

Him chasing you around the room to get his revenge

You two falling

Laying on top of him laughing until you can’t breath

He’ll def take the bedding out of your bedroom in front of the biggest window you got and build a pillow fort

Osamu opens the door to your apartment with the shared key he got. He hasn’t heard or like read a single word from you since Sunday Morning and it’s not Wednesday - so the good best friend he is he comes to check on you. The apartment was dark. He opened the shutters and blinks a few times needing to adjust again to the light. He walks back over to your fridge and opens it - not surprised at all to find it empty. With a deep sigh he places the groceries he just brought for you in the fridge together with some self made onigiri for later. He puts on the water boiler and gets your favorite cup out of the cupboard together with your favorite tea (I know who you are bby so sorry to all the rest but pls note the name of said tea: heißer Flirt).

He opens the door to your bedroom and his eyes immediately softens when he sees you curled up on your bed with your fluffy blanket. “Hey there” he says softly and you let out a small scream. “Haha chill it’s just me.” Osamu laughs and sits down on your bed, “Now sit up - I made you tea.” He gently smiles and feels the mattress shift as you sit up and take the cup out of his hands. Osamu leans forward and opens the shutters a bit letting the sunshine illuminating your room in a soft warm light. While you sip on your tea, you feel his eyes on you, “Mh?” You mumble. “Why haven’t you time me?” He carefully asks, “I told you to come staight to me when things get worse again.” He mutters, a bit annoyed, that you’re going through this all alone again instead of letting him help you. You sigh and lay your head on his shoulder. “I don’t want to be a burden.” - this makes Osamu groan in annoyance, but he quickly catches himself again and takes a deep breath. “Well I’m here - so do you want to talk about it?” - “No.” - “y/n....” he rolls his eyes and softly chuckles. You place the cup on your nightstand and start fiddling with your fingers, yet before you can answer Osamu’s arms wrap around your waist and he falls down on the bed, pulling you with him. Your head lays on his chest and his one hand moves up and plays with your hair. “You can begin now.” He slightly teases. “Well... I - well ... uhm.” It was hard for you to begin to open up. You don’t want your best friend aka crush since the second you laues eyes on him, know how fucked up your mind can be. Looking up to his soft and knowing eyes though, all of you worried vanish and you start talking. Osamu doesn’t say anything - afraid to say anything to that makes you stop talking. So he just listens. He listens to you telling him how bad you feel, how you feel like being a failure and just too stupid to get anything done- and that at this point you just give up in hopes to feel a bit better. He just listens, when you continue talking, telling him why you feel that way- telling him things about your childhood. Osamu starts stocking your hair, placing kisses on your head when he feels you shaking in his arms, when you start to cry. As soon as he feels you calming down, he nuzzled his face in your hair and starts mumbling sweet nothings. “Do you want to hear what I think?” He softly asks you and gently pulls away and sits you both back up. He sees you nod and takes a deep breath. “Okay well... I do where you’re coming from. But ... uhm... let’s take your drawings and writing as an example. You feel bad about it - why? Because you compare it to those who draw or write for a much longer time then you do. You shouldn’t see those as ones to compare yourself to, rather as inspiration and motivation. If you keep on comparing yourself to those - it’s only natural to feel bad - but that way you won’t Continue doing it aka you won’t gain experience because you stopped with leades you being stuck at this one place without giving yourself the opportunity to develop your skills. Also it really hurts me to see such an amazing and beautiful human - whom I love way to much for my own good - doubt themselves. I really with that you come to me the next time - so I can show you how amazing you are.” He looks at you with glassy and big eyes. Still shocked of what you just heard him say you stay silent. Have you heard it right? Or did you just imagine it? “You.. you love me?” You stutter out and Osamu’s face turns white. “I - this - uhm- can you ignore that part please - i don’t want that to be the reason our friendship is ruined.” He stutters and starts panicking. “No.. I don’t want to ignore it..” you admit shyly, “I uhm... like you too..”. His eyes lit up and he looks at you - all the love and admiration he holds for you, is now clearly shown in his eyes. His right hand moves up and his thumb gently stokes your cheek. “May I?” He whispers. You nod and he leans down gently kissing you.

A few (many) kisses later - he leans his head against yours and smiles. “So love- how about we go and make this one dessert I love so much? I’d make it for you but I’m not able to do it without you- it would just turn out badly without your help.”

[gallavictorious]

what about like mickey and geneva crossing paths somehow but don't know each other (i guess before the wedding bc i would guess they would have met at that point) and idk maybe she overhears him say something homophobic and she confronts him and somehow mentions gay jesus and idk. this is 100% inspired by my desire for someone to ask mickey if he knows gay jesus just for him to respond that he knows him biblically lol

Ah, this might just be the most justified desire in the world, nonnie; I salute you! Okay, let's see –

I'm thinking Geneva and a bunch of her friends decide to stage a protest of some kind. Maybe just to raise awareness of the plight of the LGTB+ community in general, or maybe in direct reaction to a store treating gay people less than right... let's be honest, there's a lot of shit happening, so it's not like it'd be hard for them to find a just cause. Brave and resolute they arm themselves with righteousness and march out in the name of their lord and savior, Gay Jesus!

March, as it happens, straight to A Certain Mall – CAN YOU GUESS WHICH? – where A Certain Disgruntled Darling – CAN YOU GUESS WHO? – works. Now, I don't think their protest is aimed at Old Army per se but maybe it happens right outside the store just next to it, and so the Gay Jesus Group and all of their signs and whatever other props they bring kind of spill over to halfway block the entrance to Mickey's workplace?

By rights this should be a case for mall main security, which I assume exists even if I have no idea what the right word for it would be, but let's pretend that they're unsure about how to intervene in a way that doesn't get them into trouble for being homophobic. Maybe their boss is a very anxious and pollitically minded person, highly unsuited for their job? Or just secretly supports what's happening? Either way, mall security does nothing. The protest continues. There's a crowd gathering, some jeering, some curious, and some in silent support. Between that and the protest itself there's not a whole lot of people making their way into Old Army which Concerns the staff working the floor there, and so they send Mickey out to deal with it.

“What's in it for me?” Mickey probably demands, savvy to the fact that this strictly speaking isn't his job, and the fuck does he care if a few hippies stand around chanting whatever so that no one can get in to the store to bother him while he dreams of all the stuff Ian and he can do to and with one another once he gets off work?

I'm not sure what the rest of the staff promise him, but it's good enough that fine, he'll go scare these rainbow kids away. So out he stomps and he immediately identifies Geneva as the ring leader, mostly because it's her holding the megaphon and leading the chants. Our highly questionable hero walks up to her, calling: “Yo! Gonna need you to pack this shit up and get the hell out of here. You're bothering the customers.”

Mickey's scary when he wants to be, that's true, but Geneva ain't no pushoever and she's used to standing up to all sorts of bullies – plus she has the unshakeable zeal of a true believer. She's not backing down, and maybe there's a small part of Mickey that can admire her courage, but a larger part is just really fucking annoyed at these people complicating his workday with this stupid crap.

Sadly (for Mickey) Geneva doesn't give a fig for his annoyance. She stares him right in the eye and launches into a spiel about how the store they're protesting has treated the LGTB+ community in a horrible, horrible way and people need to be made aware of the fact.

Mickey's face wrinkles in disgust. “And what the fuck's whining about it gonna do, huh? Someone insult you 'cause you're gay you beat the shit outta them, or you trash their fucking store to teach them a lesson, but nobody's gonna give a damn about a few signs. Besides, those ugly things” – he indicates the signs – “are boring as hell, you ain't gonna convince people of shit with those.”

(There's an alternative version of this story, I think, wherein Mickey now leaps into a lecture of how to make proper, eye-catching signs, and maybe even leads a little practical workshop in the art of it, because we know he's got an artistic streak. But as amusing as that image is, Mickey ultimately just doesn't care enough about whatever these people are doing to bother, so in this version of the story, that just doesn't happen. Sorry, guys. I cannot be blamed for Mickey not having a whole lot of communal gay spirit.)

Geneva is maybe a little surprised by Mickey's take on the whole thing, but not impressed: “Demanding that we should be interesting to be heard is putting unjust pressure on the victim of systematic oppression and – “

The crowd has followed this entire exchange with varying degrees of cautious interest and now someone – a big, beared man, probably, and likely sporting a MAGA hat too – calls out: “Nobody cares, you fucking dyke! Go suck a dick and maybe you won't be such a bitch.”

Geneva is sadly used to these sort of slurs, and she and her group are more than prepared to defend themselves, but before anyone has a chance to do or say anything, Mickey – whose face has collapsed into irritated disgust – turns around and walks straight up to the shouty bastard and gets right in his stupid face: “Yo, maybe you wanna keep your fat mouth shut, Cheeto-packer, or I'll give you a dick to suck on and I promise you, you gonna fucking choke on it.”

The man stares. The crowd stares. Geneva and the Gay Jesus Group stares too. Mickey, he just stands right there, smiling up at the far taller man; it's that dangerous smile of his, and the beared dude suddenly shows far more sense than his hat would suggest him capable off and walks away without another word.

Unperpetubed, Mickey turns back to the protesters: “So you gonna get out of here or what?”

Geneva isn't quite sure how to respond. She doesn't know what to make of this security guard and his frankly odd and contradictory behavior. “Thank you for shutting him up,” she begins slowly and a little grudgingly. “But we can't just walk away. Gay Jesus taught us – “

“Gay Jesus?” Ah fuck, he should have fucking known, and if he finds out that Ian had anything to do with this, he's going to fucking kill him...

Geneva frowns at his tone. “You know about Gay Jesus?”

Mickey's lips twist into something that's not quite a smile. “Know him biblically,” he offers sardonically, and he takes no small amount of pleasure at the sight of Geneva at an actual loss for words. (Sure, he's only known her for two minutes, but he has this feeling that it's a very rare sight indeed.)

Then he sighs; this has gone on long enough. He picks up his phone and calls his boyfriend (who has the very good sense to pick up almost immediately): “Ay, asshole, can you tell your fucking groupies to go be pains in someone else's ass?”

“... what?”

And Mickey explains while Geneva and her squad yet again stares and then Ian talks to Geneva and of course he doesn't talk her out of protesting – because she is right to to do it, let's not forget – but in the end they reach some sort of compromise that leads to the Gay Jesus Group taking themselves and their signs elsewhere, and Mickey swaggers back into the store, equally pleased and disgruntled. The staff working the floor has followed the entire thing and now they have questions, but Mickey just gives them one forbidding glare and they very hastily return to folding clothes and whatever. The customers start walking in; peace has been restored; all is well.

(And when he comes home that night the whole incident develops into a complicated – but utterly playful, never fear – argument about who owes whom what; does Ian need to make things up to Mickey for starting the whole stupid cult in the first place, or is Mickey in Ian's debt for needing him to resolve the situation? They don't actually reach an agreement on the issue, but I think it's safe to say that both of them feel quite satisfied by the time they eventually fall asleep in each other's arms.)

[clumsyclifford]

hi! idk if you're still doing the prompts but if you are #47? whatever pairing you're vibing with atm 😊 -🦥

HELLO! first of all, the pairing bot gave me malum after it gave me cashton twice but i didn’t feel like doing this for cashton so i wrote it malum, hope that’s cool. ALSO. one day i am going to write a real proper epistolary fic, mark my words, but for now this is all i have to offer you. i know it’s rather different from like. a Normal fic. but i had fun writing it so :)

read on ao3

-

Dear Calum,

My mum suggested I write you a letter because of the whole data thing in Brazil. I don’t know what that really means but apparently calling would be extremely expensive so I’m doing this now. Maybe it’s weird. Don’t really care. Deal with it.

So how is Brazil? I don’t know the time difference. Wait, I can look it up. Google says 13 hours. That means you’re a day behind me half the time. I’m in your future! It doesn’t look good for you, Cal. Future is pretty grim. If I were you I would stay in the past. Although by the time you get this it will be way in the future for both of us…oops. Oh well. I tried.

Anyway. What was I saying. Brazil? How is it? Hot, I bet. Probably playing loads of football. Luke and I have been playing FIFA but it’s so not the same. He sucks at it and he doesn’t even cheat because he’s boring I guess or has “morals” or whatever (his words not mine). I miss playing FIFA with you. Always beating Luke is not fun. Okay it’s a little fun. But I still miss you. As soon as you’re back you’re reclaiming the player 2 controller. Did I mention that I miss you? You probably get it.

What can I update you about here? There’s not a lot to say. Nothing has really happened. At least not in my life. Oh! I can tell you a secret but don’t tell Luke I told you because he will definitely kill me. Not that you have any way to reach Luke. Don’t go behind my back and write a letter to Luke telling him I told you this. Anyway: Luke fancies Ashton! I totally got him to admit it during one of the FIFA games I mentioned. It was almost cute if I’m honest. He turned really red and got all blushy and stammery. I am now wondering if I should meddle or not. On the one hand, Ashton must like him back, right? Have you seen the two of them? I don’t want to deal with intra-band sexual tension. Unless it’s ours. We’ve already claimed the “insufferable band boyfriends” role though, so do we really want this to happen? I don’t really know what I’m arguing anymore. I don’t think I’ll do anything for now. Will keep you updated in case anything dramatic happens. Then again I have no idea how long it’ll be before you receive this. Something very dramatic might happen while this is in the post. Let me ask my mum. Okay she says it could be two weeks. That’s fucking long. You might just have to come back and get the Luke/Ashton updates in real time.

Besides from that there isn’t much to report. Everything is the same. Except I’m a lot lonelier now. This is what you’ve done to me Calum. I’m returning to my natural introvert state. I need you here, Cal!! Otherwise I’ll just have to become a turtle and by the time you’re back it might be too late. 

I’m joking by the way. I hope you’re having a good time at football camp. Making new friends and learning Brazilian(?) Portuguese and kicking everyone’s arse and showing them up. I’m sure you are. I just miss you lots. :( Counting down the days!

Sending you lots of kisses and cuddles through the post,

Mikey

~

Dear Michael,

I don’t care either! I think writing letters is cool. We’re like lovers at war. Except neither of us are going to die. Probably. (Some of these footballers are CRAZY good. You never know!)

Actually, Brazil is pretty nice. It’s winter so the days have actually been not too hot, thankfully. It’s exhausting enough playing as it is. If it got any hotter, I might actually pass out. Forever. They’d have to ship me home in a body bag. (Are those only for dead people? Maybe not a body bag.)

It’s been almost two weeks since you sent your letter (I assume you sent it soon after I left?) which means there’s a good chance this one won’t get to you until I do, but in case it does I’m going to write and post it anyway. I hope by now you’re getting on better with Luke. If I’ve said it once or a million times, you guys have a lot in common and I really think you could be best friends if you weren’t both such stubborn shitheads. Which I say in the nicest way possible!

Of course Luke fancies Ashton, he’s liked Ashton since…honestly I don’t know when. Months and months at least. And Ashton clearly likes him back. I’ve never seen two people less capable of hiding their feelings. I’m surprised you didn’t notice before. Please tell me you decided to meddle in the end. You’re right, we can’t handle more sexual tension in the band. Don’t worry, they can’t possibly be more insufferable than we are. We are the most annoying boyfriends on the planet. We’re writing each other letters. Basically, it’s best for everyone involved if they get over themselves. Suck it up and kiss already! My friend Gustavo agrees with me. Also he says hi. (Well he says “oi” but I translated for you. See, I can do stuff like that. Kinda cool, right?)

I miss you too, you know. Very much. This might sound weird, but I keep having dreams about you? Like…I’ll be dreaming about whatever (usually football these days) and then you’ll just be there. Clearly my subconscious also knows I miss you. You know Ashton says that when you dream about someone, it’s because they’re thinking about you, so I hope that’s true. It’s kind of a cute idea. I hope you’re thinking about me. I’m thinking about you. Obviously. A lot. A lot.

There is one thing I want to tell you, though. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, and the more I think about it the crazier it feels, but also more right. So…I think I’m gonna do the band. Not football. This is cool and all, but everyone here is so scary good, and…I don’t know. Maybe this is stupid but I don’t like the idea of a future without you when I could have a future with you. Like with the band, I mean. And I know it’s not the most practical dream, but imagine how cool it would be if it actually worked out. You know I like a challenge. So, anyway…that’s kind of where I’m at now. I’m going to keep thinking about it for the last two weeks here, but I don’t think I’ll change my mind. Don’t tell anyone, please. I just wanted to tell you as soon as I knew. My parents are going to be soooo mad. Not excited to tell them, but this feels like the right decision.

Anyway…this got weirdly deep. Sorry. Here’s something super not-deep to make up for it: one of the football coaches here has a dog whose name in English is pasta! PASTA! (It might be apple. Apparently they’re the same word just spelled differently and the Brazilians here can clearly tell the difference. I cannot. But I think it’s way funnier if the dog’s name is pasta so I’m going with that. Not that apple is much better? Imagine seeing any dog at all and thinking, “You know what this dog’s name should be? A common food item.” LOL.)

This letter is so long and I’m running out of space on the page and I also really need to go to sleep! The boys are telling me to turn off the lights. I miss you so much. Football camp is fun, but I can’t wait to be back. Counting down the days!

Thank you for the cuddles and kisses I am sending them right back to you,

Cal

~

“Oh my God,” Michael mumbles into Calum’s shoulder, “you smell.”

Calum laughs, but he doesn’t loosen his grip on Michael. “Seriously? I haven’t seen you in a whole month and that’s the first thing you say?”

“Ugh, I missed you so much, but that’s boring to say, you already knew it,” Michael says, drawing back to kiss Calum for a second. Then he buries his face in Calum’s neck. “Seriously, I’m not joking, if you ever leave me alone for that long again, I will die.”

“You had Luke. And Ashton.”

Michael groans loudly and overdramatically. “Ashton is busy with family stuff all the time and don’t you dare compare yourself to Luke.”

“We’re going to talk about this,” Calum says. “You’re going to be friends with him if it kills me.”

“Then prepare to die,” Michael says. Calum laughs, pressing a kiss to the slope of Michael’s neck. “I tried, okay? I promise I did. I said in my letter we were playing FIFA! Did you get my letter? I didn’t know how to check if it ever actually arrived.”

“I got it,” Calum says, stomach lurching with nerves. Ignoring them for the moment, he squeezes Michael and then steps back to give him a full once-over. “I loved it. It made me laugh. God, I really missed you, you know?”

“Join the fucking club,” Michael says, smiling. He’s been smiling this whole time, Calum realises; he’s just good at sounding like he’s whining even when he’s smiling. That’s probably the most Michael thing Michael can do.

“Alright, boys,” Mali says from a ways away. “Come on. Let’s go. And seriously, Calum? You hug Michael but not me?”

Calum throws his arms around Mali, and Mali wraps him in a hug. “Missed you,” Calum says sweetly in her ear. “Thank you for coming to get me. And for bringing Michael.”

“You’re welcome,” Mali says drily. They separate and Mali just gives him a small smile. “And I missed you too, you punk. Come on, you both. Baggage claim awaits.”

Mali takes off and Calum lingers behind until he can throw an arm over Michael’s shoulder. Michael leans heavily into him. It’s been so long since the last time Calum had Michael in his arms, but it’s so immediately familiar that it almost knocks Calum off his feet. 

“So…” Calum bites his lip. “Did you get my letter? I sent it just after yours arrived, but I don’t know if it got here before me.”

Michael shakes his head. “Nope, nothing.” Something in his voice tells Calum he’s making no mistake. He’d probably checked the mail every day, just to see. There’s a pang in Calum’s chest, all mixed up with the anxiety flitting out to his fingertips from inside his rib cage. 

“Oh,” Calum says. “Well, there was something in there that I wanted to tell you, but I guess I’ll just tell you now. Um.” He drops his voice to a half-whisper, clears his throat. “I don’t want to tell Mali or anyone yet, but…I decided I’m not going to do football.”

Michael jerks. “What?”

“I want to be in the band,” Calum says quietly. His heart is racing, but at least it’s racing towards the finish line instead of away. This is the right decision. He’s…ninety-five percent sure. That’s enough to know. It has to be enough to know. “I just, you know, football is fun, but music is more fun. To me. And anyway, um.” He rubs the back of his neck. “If I have a choice between a career that has you in it or one that doesn’t, I choose you. Obviously.”

“You’re gonna be in the band?” Michael repeats lowly, looking over at Calum like he’s seeing something he’s never seen before. “Seriously? You’d give up football?”

Calum shrugs, nods. “Yeah. I know my parents are going to kill me, but I don’t care. This is what I want.”

Michael stares at him. “I love you,” he says, and then kisses Calum too fiercely to give Calum adequate time to process that. 

By the time they break apart, he’s processed it. And as he inhales to catch his breath, licking his lips, he knows with one-hundred-percent certainty that this is the right choice.

“I love you too,” Calum says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Where Michael is concerned, it usually is.

[the-hopeless-haze]

Someone Who, Like it Or Not, Will Want You to Share a Little a Lot

BEING ALIVE Chapter 9

PREVIOUS CHAPTER   

A/N: This is my submission for @thatesqcrush​ kink bingo square praise!kink. Also this chapter went a lot different than I originally planned but it just hit me like a ton of bricks so I hope it’s clear what I’m going for. IDK time to flip the script a little! Also if you saw this posted and disappear it’s because tumblr hates me ok sorry

Content Warning: Smut (ahah) and vague mentions of past abuse (if you’ve been reading the story you know)

Word Count: 5k (sorry lol)

(also how did I never see this gif before fuck me)

“I got you something,” Rafael says. You’re in his office for a lunch break, making sure he eats the salad you’d made for him. Sometimes he still hates you. When you try and shove lettuce down his throat, well, that’s one of those times. But he knows it’s for his own good, like most things you do with him in mind.

“Ooh, we’re doing birthday gifts already?“ you ask, kissing his cheek. "I figured I’d see you later… you’re coming to the restaurant, right? I really don’t think Sonny knows what ‘surprise’ means, but hey. It’s nice of him and the squad.”

“Yes. I know all about it. He hasn’t left me alone for the past two weeks.”

“Nice to know someone cares about me,” you tease, and Rafael rolls his eyes.

“Well, anyway, I figured I’d see you at lunch today, so I brought this one thing with me. I wanted you to wear it tonight. Don’t worry, cariño, you have plenty of other gifts waiting for you at my place.”

“I told you not to go all out. I’m only turning 26. 35 is the next big one.”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “35? I thought it was 30?”

"No. I think 30 will be just another one. Everyone makes it a big deal because it ends in a 0, but I don’t think it is. 35 is where the line is crossed. That’s when you’re officially middle-aged,” you say, grinning a little.

“Jesus, so what am I? Ancient?”

“No. You’re still middle-aged,” you giggle. “You’re getting there, though.”

“Mm. Right. Remind me why I spent money on you again?”

“Because…” you drawl, pulling him in by his tie to press your lips to his. And oh, it’s a mesmerizing kiss, like most of them are: one of your hands moves to the back of his head, pulling him in ever closer, and you’re slipping your tongue in his mouth, the acidic tinge of the vinaigrette you had been eating just the jolt he needed to get him to grasp for you. His hands slip under your shirt, earning a gasp from you, but Rafael remembers he’s in his office and the shades aren’t drawn and keeps his hands on your waist. You’re not close enough; you’re never close enough. “That’s why. Right?”

“Right. I forgot,” he snickers, pecking your lips. “Do you want your present or not?”

“Of course, honey.”

So he gets up and pulls out a jewelry box from his desk drawer, taking a deep breath, unsure of why he was so nervous. He smiles awkwardly, walking back over to the table and handing it to you.

“Open it, cariño.”

You do, your hands shaking a little as you unlatch the box, revealing a simple, delicate gold chain with an emerald pendant attached to it. You don’t say anything, your eyes watering as you look up at him.

“Do you not like it?” he asks, cursing himself. He should’ve asked you to pick something else out.

“Rafael, I can’t accept this. How much money was this? I can’t…”

“It doesn’t matter. I bought it for you, and I want you to have it. Do you like it, (y/n)?”

“I love it, Rafael, but it’s too much… I told you not to spend too much.”

Who was counting? He wasn’t above sharing his wealth that he’d worked to accrue. It was nice to be able to give, sometimes, and that was the expectation, wasn’t it? It was your birthday, he was your boyfriend, and he would be damned if he was outdone by anyone on the squad tonight.

"Just let me give this to you. Please,” he says. “And don’t cry.” God, you were always crying. Too much. You were an emotional person, and internalized everything, good or bad. He’d have to talk you out of ways you put yourself down frequently, but lately he’s been finding it hard to be bothered by it, because you’d smile after he smoothed out the knots in your mind, and kiss him like you meant it. “Stand up. Let me put it on.”

“Okay,” you whisper, nodding and getting up. “This is the nicest thing…anyone’s ever bought for me. Don’t think I don’t want it, Rafael, I do, but it’s… I was shocked at first. I don’t want to put you out.”

"Shh,” he says, taking the necklace out of the box and pushing your hair aside. He kisses the back of your neck, placing the necklace on your skin and clasping the hook.

“I like the pendant,” you say, fingering it between your pointer finger and thumb. “It reminds me of your eyes. Thank you so much.”

“I’m glad you like it. I’m not in the habit of buying jewelry, really. I never had anyone to buy anything for, so I didn’t know…”

“You have good taste,” you say, turning around and smiling, but then your face falls a little. “But… Rafael… how long?”

“How long what?”

“How long did you live like that? Alone? I mean, after Yelina, did you ever get that close again?”

He sighs, leaning against the table. He doesn’t want to divulge this, but at the same time he feels like he has to share. “There was a man. I was… 35,” he chuckles mirthlessly. “But we didn’t work out. Guess I didn’t get the memo that that’s when I was supposed to have my shit together. And I just… I just gave up after that. I had flings, but never got that close again.”

"Honey, you know I didn’t mean it like that. I was only joking about the middle-age thing—“

Rafael waves his hand dismissively. “It’s fine, (y/n).”

“You sure?”

“Mm,” he says, putting an arm around your shoulder.

“Eight years is a long time, though.”

"It is… and if I ever seem distant, I don’t mean to be. I’m just used to being alone.”

“I don’t want you to ever get used to that again, honey,” you say, leaning against the table next to him. “You get used to me being here. Soy tuyo y… eres mio.”

He kisses you then, urgently. God, you were going to start talking to him in Spanish now? Even if all you knew was elementary level, he was a goner.

He doesn’t have much time to dwell on that thought, because Carisi’s knocking on the door. “Sorry to interrupt, Counselor, but I need to borrow the birthday girl,” he says, smiling brightly in that annoying way he always did. “We need her more than you right now.”

"What happened? I told Olivia an hour,” you ask, taking Rafael’s hand in your own as he pulls away from your mouth.

“Yeah, well, you know you can ask for an hour… but that doesn’t mean you’re gonna get it. She told me to come pick you up. We got a lead, and if you wanna get out by dinner…”

You roll your eyes at Sonny, then glance at Rafael. "Looks like I have to cut this short. Bye, honey,” you say, kissing him. “Make sure you eat your salad.”

“Yeah, Barba. Gotta get those greens in,” Carisi chuckles as you both give him a look. “What? It’s cute that you worry about his health. My ma, she’s always on my father about taking his meds, and she cooks for him, makes sure he goes for walks.”

“Well, I can’t have Rafael dying on me,” you say, putting on your coat. “I’d miss him too much.” You flash Rafael a smile, heading out with Carisi’s arm around your shoulder.

Sometimes he still feels a pang in his chest when he sees you with Carisi. Things seemed so easy between the two of you, so simple, like you’d been friends for decades as opposed to the months Carisi had been on the SVU. And Carisi was still annoying, God, the man never shut up about anything, and his off-color comments were more than eyebrow-raising at times. In some ways, Carisi was your work-husband, and Rafael supposes that’s to be expected. Partners got close, maybe even closer than some legal marriages.

Another reason why it was a sham. Right? Just because you didn’t have a ring on your finger or his last name didn’t mean you weren’t close to him.

But you could always be closer. Too close for comfort. Wake up next to him every day, brush your teeth in the bathroom next to him while he shaves, argue with him about not taking the trash out on time or something equally mundane. Sounds like hell. Sounds like monotony. Sounds like settling, maybe more on your part than his.

Because who would be able to marry you and call that settling?

Aside from the fact that marriage was always a risk for settling - because what are the odds you pick the right stranger off the streets of New York to bind yourself to for the rest of your life? Another hundred people were always getting off trains, getting on buses, leaving crowded streets to catch planes into or out of this city.

Rafael, though, he was always staying in the same place.

And, even though it may be insignificant in the grand scheme of things, the fact remains that somewhere on some paper in that precinct, your name is next to Carisi’s, billing you as partners. There was no such record of you and Rafael anywhere, not even a Facebook status. And that? From a legal standpoint, if one wanted to be crude, you two were nothing more than friends who fucked. Even if you did live together (which you didn’t) common law marriage wasn’t legal in New York.

So. Legally, if you went down that convoluted path, maybe you were closer to Carisi.

Rafael isn’t sure what to think about that. He’s over the jealousy; it’s been long enough now that he trusts you not to do anything stupid, and as much as Rafael hates to admit it he believes Carisi’s too set in his morals to even look at you suggestively. But it’s still something to think about, isn’t it?

——

“You look gorgeous,” Rafael whispers in your ear, helping you zip up your dress. You did; clad in a crushed velvet emerald long-sleeve number - yet another thing Rafael shelled out money for - and there’s a sense of pride in seeing it match perfectly with the necklace he’d gifted you earlier. “But I already can’t wait to bring you back here.”

“Mm, is that yet another present, honey?” you ask, pressing back against him. “You’ve really been spoiling me.”

“You’ve been a good girl. You deserve it,” he says, chuckling as you shiver.

“We’re gonna be late. Not nice to tease me,” you pout.

“I’ll make it up to you tenfold. Put your shoes on.”

The restaurant is nicer than Rafael thought the squad would pick out when they mentioned this idea to him a few weeks ago, but he has half a mind that they thought Rafael would help cover most of the bill. Which he did, as expected. Give a little, get a lot. Something like that. Like it or not, he’s dating the birthday girl, and he’s expected to be more giving than usual. By you, too, of course, even if you would never voice that assumption. He couldn’t very well buy himself suits that cost two grand for no reason and justify not spending the same amount or more on you on special occasions.

“Hey, happy birthday! Surprise!” Carisi says as you get to the table.

You roll your eyes at him before hugging him. “You said happy birthday to me, like, what? Twenty times today? It’s not a surprise anymore. But thank you.”

“Hey. Dream team. Had to do something for the best pardna in the world,” he says.

“Well, damn, Barba, you got (y/n) dressing to the nines too, now,” Amanda says when she sees you, smiling and squeezing your shoulder gently. “I feel underdressed now.”

“Nah, you look beautiful, Amanda,” you tell her, grinning back. “Blue’s your color.”

“Green’s definitely yours.”

This is the first time the whole squad has gone out with Rafael present since they found out for certain that the two of you were dating, and Rafael isn’t quite sure what to make of the atmosphere. He still feels excluded as the only lawyer present at a table full of detectives, and he thought maybe a known tie to you would change that, but it doesn’t, not much. Everyone falls into telling stories, and tonight they mostly concern you - but Rafael has none he wants to share even if maybe you expect him to contribute to the conversation.

What could he say that they didn’t already know?

Besides, what the hell did they think about him? He can only imagine what went through their heads once it was confirmed that he was dating you.

Isn’t he a little bit, well… too much of a smartass? Tacky, in the sense that he’s still that same kid from the barrio trying to fit in with the upper-class of New York with expensive suits and a brass ego? Old? Short? Aggressive (maybe more so passively)? Neurotic? Peculiar? Depressing?

God, he’s practically old enough to be your father.

Everyone was always trying to set you up with someone before they knew you weren’t single, whether it be Sonny with his Fordham buddies or Amanda with her men from god-knows-where or even Olivia one time with a sergeant from a different department. Maybe it’s because you’re beautiful, and beautiful people don’t stay single for long (unless, perhaps, if they were surly and standoffish, which you weren’t in the slightest). You’re a charmer, even if you don’t necessarily mean to be. A flirt without quite realizing it, without being too much of a threat. Pleasant to be around. Easy to like. A little shy, a little rough around the edges, a little stoic at first, sure, but that was easily overlooked and if someone put in the time, you were an open book.

It was easy to pity you. Maybe that shouldn’t be how he sees you, but sometimes he just can’t help but feel so damn bad given everything that’s happened to you. And he knows that’s how the squad feels too. Sure, you could handle yourself on your own, but no one wanted to let you. It’s in Olivia’s eyes when she looks at you sympathetically, it’s in Amanda’s hand when she squeezes your shoulder, it’s in Carisi’s insistence on putting himself in harms’ way so you wouldn’t ever have to take the fall: Poor baby. We’re the only tenderness you’ve ever known.

And maybe that’s true, maybe this squad was the only kind of lasting kindness you’d ever been shown. You don’t talk much about your past, and that’s fair, because Rafael doesn’t think there’s much that would be pleasant to recount. After the rape, middle school was difficult for you, as was to be expected, and you didn’t have many friends that stuck around. He’s never heard you say a word about high school, and sure, college was probably a lot better than the hell you’d been through before, but you had no one you kept in contact with from there, not even the woman you mentioned sleeping with before. Maybe life hasn’t handed you all the wrong cards: you’re gorgeous, you’re intelligent, you’re great at your job.

But in the interpersonal sphere, you’re lacking, maybe as sorely as Rafael, and that’s something he never quite thought about until now. You didn’t wear it like he did though, and you still had hope, somehow, whereas Rafael’s supplies of optimism had been used up over the years. Maybe one day you’d run out, too.

Leave it to Rafael to bring the melancholy to a birthday party.

But you wouldn’t bring the squad home; you couldn’t. On the nights you didn’t spend at Rafael’s or the nights he didn’t spend at your apartment, you were as alone as he was. He wonders, did you sit there and stare at the walls, struggle to sleep without him by your side… or did you not care?

“Honey, I was talking about you,” you say, giggling a little, and he feels your hand on his shoulder bring him back to the present. “You’ve been out of it, tonight, huh? Anyway, I was going to ask if you’d tell them about your theatre productions—“

“Oh, Jesus, (y/n), why the hell are you going to bring that shit up?” he asks, feeling a slight blush creep up his neck. “I told you about that in confidence.”

“Oh, come on. It’s cute.”

“Yeah, come on, Barba. She’s the birthday girl. You gotta do what she says,” Carisi chimes in.

Rafael glares at him and sighs. "Fine.”

“Floor is yours, Counselor,” Amanda says, winking. “Maybe you can sing for us, too.”

“Fine. I was in theatre in middle and high school. Happy?” he snaps. He knows he shouldn’t be so mean, and this was trivial, but he could do without the little jabs from the squad and your puppy-dog eyes.

“Why do you have to be like that, Rafi?” you ask. “Come on. Tell them the production in eighth grade.”

“This really means that much to you?“

"Will you just tell the story?” you ask. “No one will make fun of you, honey. I won’t let them.”

“Mm. Right. Well, my school couldn’t get the licensing rights to anything actually good that year for the Christmas musical… so we did A Christmas Peter Pan. It was about as awful as you think it would be.”

“What part did you play?” Olivia asks. Of course she’s the only one at the table who’s not tittering with laughter.

“I didn’t try out soon enough, and they didn’t have any parts left… so I played the crocodile.”

Amanda damn near spits out her drink, and Rafael rolls his eyes as Carisi laughs heartedly and Fin and Nick try and fail to not crack teasing smiles.

“I just really can’t picture that, Barba. Damn,” Carisi says after he calms down. “How bad was the costume?”

“What do you think a middle school theatre department could put together?” Rafael asks, narrowing his eyes. “Anyway. I didn’t have any lines, at least.”

“No, but you had three scary entrances,” you tease, grinning brightly and squeezing his shoulder. “Hey. It was your debut. I can’t wait until I get your mother to show me pictures—“

“Send them to me,” Amanda says. “I’m begging you.”

“I’m going to get my mother to burn that scrapbook before you’re ever in its vicinity,” Rafael mutters, chuckling.

“Aw, come on, honey, don’t be like that. You know I’d never let Amanda see them. Sonny, maybe—“

“Hey!” Amanda interjects while Rafael shoots you a withering look.

“No, I wouldn’t let him see them either. Some things are actually meant to be shared in confidence,” you laugh. “But anyway, Rafael went on to bigger and better things. He played Kenickie in Grease sophomore year, right? And you got the lead senior year?”

“Mm. Nathan Detroit. Guys and Dolls.”

“I have no idea what that is,” Carisi says.

“Of course you don’t,” Rafael retorts.

“It was a big part. He says his mother has a tape of that somewhere—“

“Are you trying to kill me, (y/n)?” Amanda asks exasperatedly. “The knowledge that that’s on film and I’ll never see it?”

“Mm. Deal with it. That’s not the one you wanna make fun of though,” you say. “Rafael can sing. He never will in front of you guys now, but he can.”

Right. Little things he’d shared with you, maybe without even meaning to, and now you could list them off as nonchalantly as if you were talking about yourself. Did any of his ex-lovers ever bother to learn all his amateur theatre roles front to back?

Thankfully, the waitress brings the cake over after a few minutes, saving him from more humiliation, and everyone, even Rafael, obliges and sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to you before you blow out the candles.

“Well, our blessings, (y/n),” Olivia says, grinning.

“Don’t tell your wish or it won’t come true,” Fin chuckles.

“Actually… I didn’t wish for anything,” you say, shrugging.

“What do you mean, you didn’t wish for anything?” Carisi asks.

“Tell, but lie,” Nick says.

“Nah. I’ve got everything I want. Thank you for including me in your thoughts, your lives—“

“Aww. Stay exactly as you are, (y/n),” Carisi says, reaching over to squeeze your hand. “What a sweetheart, huh, Barba?”

“Everyone adores you, (y/n),” Amanda laughs. “What an awful thing.”

Yeah. Everyone did adore you - but you weren’t an unshakable tenant in anyone’s life.

And, come to think of it, neither was Rafael. Rafael was always confused as to why the hell you even approached him all those months ago, flirted with him, got him to buy you dinner… but fuck, it was clear now. You were alone, grasping at straws just like he was. A couple months in the city you dreamed of living in since you were a child provided you with nothing more than acquaintances you worked and occasionally got drunk with, and maybe it was human nature to want more than that.

Yet here you were insisting that you didn’t wish for anything. What the hell? Didn’t you want more than what Rafael was giving you? Shouldn’t you?

Fuck if he knows. He’s not even sure what he wants anymore, never mind what you want.

——

Rafael has never been above sharing his body for someone else’s pleasure. It felt good to give in this regard, and fuck it, if anyone deserved to have a good, healthy sex life it was you.

It had been a long road to get you comfortable - yes, the first time you had sex with him you were more than a willing participant - but he’d notice sometimes when he initiated things, you would space out and become unresponsive. That was absolutely not going to work for him. He’s been prosecuting sex crimes long enough for that to turn his stomach in the worst way. The last thing he’d want is to take advantage of someone who was lying underneath him just because they thought it would appease him, not because they genuinely wanted to be there.

You got mad at him the first time he brought it up; said he was reading too much into things - but eventually you came around and admitted what had made you uncomfortable, what had turned you off, what had made you freeze, and what it came down to was years of trauma that no one had bothered to work through, not even yourself. What started with the rape went on to college boys who wouldn’t keep their hands to themselves and tried to pressure you when you weren’t ready - and you’d never quite learned to say no. You said you didn’t want to share this, didn’t want him to think you were some perpetual victim or that you didn’t enjoy sex - because you had had positive sexual experiences aside from Rafael, obviously - but sometimes all it took was a touch in the wrong place and you shut down. You still had issues here and there, but at least you’d actually fucking talk to him now, which was progress. He would’ve thought for an SVU detective with a psychology degree this wouldn’t be an issue, but maybe it’s how it goes - you put all your energy out there for the victims and you never learn how to unlearn your own toxic thought cycles and behaviors.

Also, Rafael learned, through trial and error, that you liked to be praised. Maybe it was after years of being ashamed of your body and sex, after years of feeling like you were inexperienced because you never met anyone worth having experiences with… but it was almost like you got off on it and Rafael wouldn’t really mind if that was the case. You are a good girl - his good girl - especially now, as he’s sitting at his desk chair in his apartment and you’re riding his thigh, your dress ridden up to your waist. Your lips are kiss-bruised and you’re so wet he can feel you seep through your panties to his dress pants.

Fuck it if you ruined them. Fuck it if you ruined him.

“Yes, good girl, you gonna get off on my thigh, (y/n)?” he asks, his voice low in your ear.

“I don’t know if I can,” you laugh. “Might need some assistance.”

“No, I think you can. Want you to try it. You think you’re close, mi buena chica?”

“Mm, don’t know. I didn’t think I was gonna have to work this hard on my birthday,” you say, leaning down to kiss his mouth. “Don’t you think those hands could be of good use somewhere?”

“Maybe. Where do you want them?“

"Mm, fucking everywhere,” you drawl.

For Rafael, sex was always just fun. Usually, it was better if he knew the person at least a little, but after Yelina, he didn’t care as much and was a little more of a libertine. Sex with you, though; it’s different - it’s a conversation - maybe like it’s supposed to be, sharing what you can’t or what you won’t say with words.

Maybe he should feel more flattered, because you were sharing a lot, too.

Rafael gives you what you want, though, cupping your breasts as he kisses you, murmuring words of encouragement in your ear in between - “Yes, just like that, you can do it, come for me, such a good girl, come on, cariño” - and when you do finally fall apart, he peppers your face with kisses. “See? I told you.”

“Mm. Sometimes you’re right,” you giggle, kissing the side of his mouth. “But I’m not working that hard for the next orgasm.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckles.

And you don’t; Rafael brings you over the edge with his tongue and fingers, but you’ve barely come down from your high before he’s on his back, at your mercy instead.

“What are you doing? Didn’t think you wanted to work for it anymore,” he teases as you press kisses on his chest.

“Nah, you’re gonna fuck me, hombre, but I want to do something for you first,” you purr, trailing down lower, lower, lower…

“It’s your birthday–”

“Mm. Yeah. But now I just guaranteed that you have to go down on me on yours,” you giggle. “No. We’re not counting favors here, right? Just let me.”

And you’re so good. You always are, but every time just seems to get better as you learn more of what he likes, what gets him off. He wonders vaguely if he you feel that way too, but he doesn’t have much time to dwell on that as your lips wrap around his cock. “Fuck, so good, (y/n),” he hisses. If he wasn’t almost painfully hard before he definitely is now. “That’s it, oh fuck.”

One of your hands comes to cup his balls gently as your tongue and lips work his cock and it’s hard to remember that you were ever tentative giving him a blowjob before. Maybe that’s the thing about sex; everyone thinks they need experience to be a good lover, but maybe they don’t. Maybe they just need to listen to their partner. Rafael’s slept with people who have slept with countless numbers of people but no one’s ever learned his body like you, and your count was much lower. Granted, Rafael never quite allowed himself this type of vulnerability with anyone else in recent history, either, but it was only fair that if some of your walls came down some of his did as well.

Still, he has to make sure you know that by gasping out praise and encouragement, tangling his hands in your hair, being careful not to pull too harshly. “Fuck, so good at that, sucking my cock so good, se buena, mm, fuck.”

Eventually, though, Rafael can feel that he’s dangering the brink and has to stop you. Switching positions again - you’re on your back for him now - and he’s lining up his cock with your pussy, making sure you’re still good. With your consent, he enters you, groaning softly at finally feeling you wet and warm around his cock.

“God, you’re fucking gorgeous, you know that?” he grunts as he starts fucking in and out of you, slowly at first.

“I’d hope you think so,” you say.

“Think - no. You are. Fucking gorgeous.”

Your cheeks flush a little and he can’t believe you still get flustered when he tells you that. But you are a vision - hair splayed on his pillow, your breasts heaving in tandem with your breath, your skin shining with a slight sheen of perspiration. Yeah. Fucking gorgeous.

And, oh fuck, now you’re clawing at his back, scratching with your nails. A shiver runs down his spine as he fucks into you harder, “That good?”

“Fuck, yeah, Rafael, fuck me,” you whine and he leans down to press a searing kiss to your mouth.

“Mm, so pretty, taking my cock so well, cosita bonita, so good for me,” he rasps in your ear.

You’re meeting him thrust for thrust; the only sounds Rafael can hear is the slap of skin on skin and his heart pounding in his ears as he kisses up and down your neck. “Mm, Rafael, feels so good,” you purr, and yeah, now he can see why you get off on those simple words of encouragement.

It’s not long before the two of you reach your highs and come down, a panting, tangled mess twisted up in his bedsheets. “Mm. Feliz cumpleaños, cariño.”

“Yeah, happy birthday to me,” you laugh, leaning over to snuggle against his chest. “Fuck, I’m exhausted now.”

“Thought I was supposed to be the old one.”

“Like you could go for another round right now.”

“Try me, mujer,” he chuckles. “Shower?”

“In a minute,” you giggle. “Let my heart rate come down a little.”

The two of you lay there in silence, your breathing rates settling while Rafael’s mind sets off to the races again. You were right, earlier, eight years was a fucking long time and it didn’t get any easier to be alone.

It doesn’t get any easier to be with someone, either, though, like when you wake him up too early in the morning and ruin his precious sleep, or when you make snide remarks that ruin his day and bruise his ego or, worst of all, as always: when you see right through him, like the front he puts up just doesn’t exist.

Maybe, though, maybe he’s a masochist because god forbid you leave. Here he was, carving out hours of his precious time; time he used to tell his mother he never had to spare, and sharing it with you. And you wanted him to.

Rafael doesn’t know what the hell to make of that.

Tag list: @caked-crusader​ @thatesqcrush​ @law-nerd105​ @arabellathorne​ @blackeyedangel9805​ @moon-river-drifter

[misterbitches]

I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are ���protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

[midnighthyuck]

Beautiful | jungwoo!au

summary: you were working on a photoshoot with your university team, in the meanwhile, jungwoo has to dress up as a girl to help his sister. 

words: 2.600 (sorry bout that)

pairing: you & jungwoo

a/n: pretty sweet. also, sorry about any mistakes, english is not my native language. it’s not that good idk? but it would be a shame deleting it all without giving a try. promise next time will be better.

requests are open!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two hours. That was the amount of time you had already spent trying to convince your senior that purple lights wouldn’t look as good as blue ones. The scenario was all set up but the lights still annoyed you. He had been working with photoshoots before you, period. He had plenty of works highly well recognized by all teachers in photography faculty, period. Yet, purple didn’t feel right.  

Tired of hearing your annoying complains he decided to give it a try. It ended up with you being congratulated by your ‘unceasing persistence’ and happy with the finally blue studio. He was good, but you also were. Being on top of the class was the main reason you were the only sophomore in the wise room.  

Once done with the lighting discussion you decided to take a look on the models. It was not your first time on a shooting like that so you had plenty knowledge of how the girls get stressed and sensitive right before the show. Most of them you’d never seen before and was pretty much sure you wouldn’t be seeing again anytime soon, still you made sure to bring them some fruits and cool water. 

‘’You all look stunning! Definitely the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen’’ you genuinely smiled at them. That was your job, making them feel at ease, instead of freaking them out like Doyoung would be doing in a few minutes. 

He wasn’t a bad guy, but the amount of overwork he had been dealing with in the past few months may have helped him to become this ‘fast mood shifting’ weapon. Or you might just think it because you are two opposites. Doyoung doesn’t know how to behave when it comes about girls. Also don’t you when it comes about boys. 

“There’s one missing’’ Ten made himself noticeable, handing you the paperwork. 

“It’s fine, we still got a few minutes.’’ you tried to stay calm, although you knew Doyoung would be shouting at you once the shoot started and one of his ‘girls’ was missing. ‘’I’ll go grab some coffee for us. Make sure Doyoung doesn’t freak out.’’  

“I will try.’’ It’s all you get back when you’re already reaching the elevator.  

In the meanwhile, Jungwoo was in denial.  

“No.” was all he said. 

“No, you don’t get me.” Junghah, the older sister, insisted. “I need you to be there for me. The director will fucking kill me. Also, what if I never get a job like this again?” 

“You should be there, not me!” his voice still sounded awfully adorable, despite the loudness. 

“I know! Do you think I’m like this cause I want to? Huh?” Junghah’s voice made itself louder than expected thanks to the eco. She had been in the bathroom for the whole day long. It had been four hours already. “Even if I manage to get out of here, I don’t think I can stay away for too long, you understand?” 

Jungwoo was too good, even he suspected of it, but everything must have a limit. He thought about the uncountable number of times he’d helped his older sister until the very moment. Combing her hair when she broke her arm. Dumping her ex-boyfriend for her cause she wouldn’t be able to handle his crying face. Not to mention all the times he had lied to their mom in order to help her sneak out of the house to go out.  

He knew that dressing up as a girl and showing up in a photoshoot wasn’t the best decision at all.  “Pretty please.’’ and that was it. 

With that simple sentence she had him all over her shoes.  

Jungwoo was way too good. 

[…] 

“Hold on, please!” you let the air in your lungs come out as a demand, running to the metal door a few steps away from you while managing to keep both ice americanos in your hands inside its cups, instead of dripping all over the elevator’s floor. “Thank you.” you mumble once in, trying to fix the harsh first impression you’d just caused. 

A smile was the answer. An awkwardly cute smile coming from an around 5 feet tall girl. She was huge, that was no secret, even compared to the ones waiting for you at the studio, yet something about her felt just to adorable, despite her size. Her long hair fell just right over her shoulder’s, contouring her back with a few other strands over her cheekbones. She was definitely adorable and you couldn’t help but smile. 

“Excuse me, are you here for the shooting?”  

“Uh, yes!” not only the face was lovely, but also the voice.  

You tried to keep your reactions to yourself, but seeing her ears getting red just made you internally jump in joy. “I see. I’m also on it, I mean, not modeling as you can see. I’m in charge of light and photography.’’ you smiled once again when she opened her mouth impressed, getting even more red than before. “Is this your first time?” 

“...Is it that obvious?” and once again you found yourself whipped by that extremally cute face.  

“Nah, it’s just cause you have very sincere expressions. It’s not bad though.” The conversation could keep on some other time, because in the very next second you’d arrived in the 8th floor. 

You, politely, guide the girl to the makeup room and let her there so they could work out on how to make her look like the astonishing (you would call kinda fake looking) woman we see on magazines. 

[…] 

As you thought Doyoung couldn’t keep his frustrations to himself, but since you were there the models had someone to rely on. Specially the cute one. It was her first time so it took ages for her to feel comfortable enough to pose properly.  

You managed to make some good pics before noon arrived, so you’d just sit around and wait until your colleagues were also done. Going out for a few drinks was always one of the best parts of working on projects with them.  

While setting up a few things in your head and organizing some paper and equipment, you heard two of your senior laughing. ��If they can chill, they can also help me get everything done’ your thought while frowning. Finally reaching both guys you could barely remember the names, you were able to hear was seemed to be so funny. 

“I don’t know how Doyoung let that thing be on the project. That’s definitely not a girl, dude.”  

“I mean, maybe if I was drunk, or blind” both them laugh annoyingly.  

“Well, if it is so cool making fun out of people, I guess you guys will die in laughter once you check up on yourselves in the mirror.” you claim entering the place. “Or it might be funnier if your just shut the fuck up and take care of the work you’re here to do.’’ 

“Yeah, but nobody told me this was a gay parade.” one insisted. 

You smile back. “I bet they told you it was a circus. That’s why you keep acting like a fucking clown.” 

Before it could get any worse (or better), all the models, now done with their hard work, entered the room laughing in delight once it was over. Except from the tall one, who came in leaving the bathroom right behind you. You frowned in pain. You just wished she didn’t hear all the bullshit those two said. 

“Thank you for that.” she told you once you both were the only ones left in the huge studio, since taking the elevator was a kind of process when there were around 14 people in there. And taking the stairs on 8th floor was not an option.  

The touch of your hand on hers makes she feels vulnerable, and once again she blushes. “Never mind those assholes. Men are fucking stupid. Are you coming with us for a drink?” 

“Uh, not really. I gotta go back to check on my sister.” 

“Oh, I see.” and when the elevator finally arrives to get you, you hear her sighing in relief. 

“You did well today. I bet we are gonna see each other again anytime. What’s your name anyways?” 

“Kim Jungwoo.” she answers back with a wide smile.  

“You’re name is as adorable as your face, you know it?” you can’t help but make your thoughts real by telling the truth. 

“Oh... Thank you. I don’t get this a lot.” 

“But you should. Honestly, you’re the cutest model I’ve ever bumped into. Feel lucky, cause I see plenty of gorgeous girls every once in a while. You’re extremally beautiful.” 

“Thank you.” you are amused by the laugh that comes from her. It was just too much of a cute sound. But before you could embarrass yourself in front of her again the door opens, revealing a groups of people waiting for you to follow them to the nearest bar.  

You just wave goodbye and wish Jungwoo luck.

[…] 

Later that night Jungwoo searched for you online. He wasn’t brave enough to send a request, though. He felt cheesy for being like that, just appreciating your face once again by a picture someone else took. But it was not all about looks. It was about you all. Something just felt warm inside him while watching a stupid video Jaehyun posted on your birthday.  

Was it the smile? Was it the cozy voice? He didn’t know for sure, but it made him feel even worse for not being fearless.  

He was a coward afterwards.  

[…] 

You couldn’t bare the pain in your neck anymore, even after trying to stretch or taking pain-killers. You decided to go home for the day, you wouldn’t be much productive editing the pictures with that annoying pinch keeping all your attention for itself.  

“Excuse me!” the sweet voice reached your ears when you were just about to leave the building.  

“Yes?” you frowned. That face was somehow familiar. 

“Uh- well... I was here last weekend on the photoshoot...’’ You still couldn’t link it. 

“Sorry, I don’t recall. Are you a staff member?”  

“Not exactly. Well, I was... one of the models.” Oh. It wasn’t hard to say why you weren’t able to recognize her (him? they?). 

They still were tall as hell, the baby face had pretty much the same features and naive expressions, but it all just felt so different. The person right in front of you now seemed like someone else. 

“I think I remember now.” you said trying to conceal your surprise. “How can I help?” 

There it was again. Ears turning red, just as the tip of the nose, confused face and shrunken shoulders. Just as adorable as you could remember. 

“I actually... Hm...” 

“The pictures aren’t ready yet, if that’s what you’re here for. It takes some time.” 

“No!” they answered louder than you expected, getting you surprised. “I... actually came to.. Uh, talk to you.” 

“Me?” you didn’t mean to sound as surprised as you actually did.  

“I’m so sorry! I swear I’m not a weirdo. I just didn’t have the chance to talk to you that much that day, and I was wondering if... Well, if y-you...” 

No. The answer was already set on your mind before you could even think about the painful pinch on your neck. But that was when you realized it wasn’t there anymore. You frown in confusion and run your fingers through the back of your head. Everything is just fine. 

“Ok.” you said before thinking well, interrupting the other while getting lost on their own words. “What about grabbing some coffee?” 

They were not a dog, but for a second you could swear you saw a wagging tail when they opened that bright smile right in front of your eyes. 

[…] 

So Kim Jungwoo was indeed a guy.  

The whole ‘’dressing’’ as girl thing had a story behind it, before you could get angry at him. No that you had a real reason for that, but as Ten would say “getting mad at boys is you favorite sports”. But even though, he was way different from all the other boys you had ever met.  

Adorable wasn’t the only word to describe him. He was... sweet (?) Like genuinely.  Not the kind of “am I cute?” sweet, the real sweetness. The one kids lose once they grow up. The one that makes us love animals because they’re just too pure for this world.  And you hated yourself for feeling so much at ease with a guy as you did with Jungwoo. 

You knew his intentions. Growing up with two older brothers and being friends with Johnny made you a kind of expert when it comes to know that guys are into you. Yet, you couldn’t help but smile at each sweet expression he’d let off whenever you said something that caught him out of guard.  

[…] 

Keeping in touch with Jungwoo was just natural.  

People tend to say they never really realize they fell in love, but you’d never forget that friday night, when he texted you a “I wanna see you soon.”.  

What is this? You thought to yourself, holding onto your phone tightly, staring at the ceiling wondering since when were you anticipating seeing Jungwoo that much. What exactly was that cozy warmness inside your chest. 

[…] 

“I like you.” Jungwoo closed his eyes when the words came out, becoming real. 

It had been a month since the first time you thought he was adorable. And now, right in front of that playground somewhere nearby your house, on that cold november noon, he was being adorable once again. 

He didn’t dare to take your hands. He knew you well to know how suspicious you were with skinship, what got you smiling. You moved one step forward, getting closer to the taller cute boy, taking one of his hands on yours. 

“I know.” 

“Since when?” he sighs deeply. You wish you were brave enough to check up his expression. I bet his ears are red, you thought.  

“Since day one.” you laugh when his lamentation moan reaches your ears, at the same time he decides to lay his head on your shoulder.  

“That’s so unfair.” he sighs once again, that’s when you feel the urge to pet his head. At the first touch he gets surprised, since touching wasn’t really something between the two of you. “I’m sorry.” 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” you smile, although you knew he couldn’t see it.  

Gathering all his strength, he takes a step back to face you. “And... What’s your answer?” 

You laugh. “You know I have a soft spot for you and there’s no way I’d say no when you’re looking at me like that.”. 

And when he pouts at you with that ridiculously adorable face you can’t help but hugging him. “You were special since the first second. Thank you for that.” 

He hugs you back and now you’re able to feel his heartbeat, which gets you a bit worried since it was way faster than people consider healthy. 

“I never cared when people gave me compliments. But that day, when you said I was beautiful, I felt you were looking through me. It was not about being a guy, being a girl, not even about being attractive. It was about... me. I’m the one to thank you.” 

You smile while petting his back. “You’re beautiful, Jungwoo.” 

And he was. 

Kim Jungwoo was the prettiest thing that had ever crossed your path. 

[sunflowerkiszka]

Hii Can i ask for the dialogue thing number 1, 2 And 34 with Jake :) thank you

you're the one i want- jake kiszka imagine

dialogue prompts 1, 2, & 34 w Jake

"you're annoying"

"please stop being mad and let me kiss you"

"you're the one I want"

pairing: jake x reader

a/n: is this even good idk how i feel ab this one

it's also not edited so if it's obvious- sry

also i saw this post the other day and it was like "y do ppl want to read angst fics do they WANT to be sad" or something like that we

genre: angst

word count: around 1.3k

summary: jake is jealous of you're relationships w his brothers

warnings: swearing

❁

"Jake," you shout after you're boyfriend. You're struggling to run in your heels to chase him. He's upset because he felt as though you were flirting with Josh and giving him more attention.

He was always really jealous of your friendships with his brothers, especially Josh which baffles you because even though you love Josh, he's an actual clown.

"Jake!" you groan again, but he keeps walking. You roll your eyes and pause so you can remove the heels from your aching feet and be quicker.

You eventually caught up to him and forced him to turn around, "What the hell?"

"What," he sighs.

You scoff, "What do you mean 'what'? What is your problem, Jake?"

Instead of answering you, he kicks rocks with his boots.

"Dude," you push back his shoulder in hopes that he'll pay attention to you. When his eyes finally meet yours you continue, "What's wrong?"

A lot of the times when he's upset, he just grows quiet and you hate it because you never know what's going on in his head.

"Talk to me," you press.

After a few seconds of him just standing there you give up. You turn on your heels with a sigh, shoes still in hand, and walk back inside.

"What's up with Jake?" Sam asks with a confused expression.

"I have no idea, but whatever," you shake your head, "All I'm worried about right now is what my next drink is gonna be."

You both laugh and as soon as you turn to get another drink, Josh is in your face screaming Chandelier. Again.

"Jooossshhhh," you yell over him and cover your ears. You try to repress the laugh that comes out because you really don't want to encourage this.

Sam jokingly puts his hands around his neck and pulls him away from you.

"Thank you," you giggle.

The rest of your night was spent singing and dancing, but also yelling at Josh.

You were about five drinks in by the time you guys were ready to leave, but you were still coherent enough to think straight.

"Are you going home, Y/N?" Sam asks as the three of you emerged outside.

You sigh, remembering your boyfriend. "Well I wasn't really planning on it, but.... I guess now I am."

You all piled into your friends' car who was the designated driver and the ride was mostly silent aside from Josh trying to talk to everyone about random topics.

Sam walked you up to your door to make sure you got inside safely.

"Thank you, Sammy," you say in his chest. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Y/N. I'll talk to Jake," he gives you a lopsided smile.

"Yeah, boyfriend of the year, huh," you say before turning to walk inside.

You debate if you should call him or not. You know that you can't let him continue to do these types of things and you don't want to give in, but even though it was early on in the relationship this really upset you and you just wanted to make it better. Your feelings for him were already really strong so soon in and it was kind of scary.

You ultimately decide to not, because he needs to learn how to communicate better and you couldn't enable him. If you did, nothing would improve and you wanted you two to last.

It's around 2:00 A.M. and you were just laying bed, thinking.

Does he even care? You didn't know what was wrong or why he just walked away like that. You had known him for a while, but being together romantically was a whole new world and you felt like there was a whole new part of him that you didn't know and you were so confused about it.

You decide to shake it off and just try to fall asleep.

The next day when you wake up you check your phone. Nothing from Jake.

You're going over to their place later to listen to a song they were working on. You have a mild hangover, but nothing a joint can't fix. You eat breakfast, shower, all that shit, and get ready for your day.

You're a little nervous to face him, but you're a bad bitch so you got this.

When you get to their place, Sam opens the door for you.

"Hey, Y/N," he extends his arms out for a hug that you reciprocate.

"Y/N!" Josh screams and joins the hug which makes you laugh.

"Hey Josh," you smile when you pull away.

"Come, step into our lair," Josh motions inside.

"Where's Jake?" you can't help but wonder.

"Um..." Sam looks around, "He's... Actually I don't know."

"Wow thanks," you laugh, "Great help."

Just as if it was on que, Jake walks in, but ignores your presence. He ignored for most of the time you were there. You didn't want to push it. What's meant to be, will be. So you didn't.

You spent the time dancing to it with the other boys.

"This is so good!" you laugh.

Sammy laughs and reaches over to fix your hair that was messy from headbanging.

"Wow," Jake mutters and gets up from his position in the corner.

"What!" you throw your hands in the air. "What is your fucking problem?" you yell. You'd never yelled at him before. You never really yelled anyways, so everyone knew that you were pissed.

Jake looks taken aback and when he doesn't say anything you continue, "Huh? Why are you ignoring me? What the hell did I do? If you don't want to be with me just- just fucking say it. I'm a big girl, I can handle it."

Sam and Josh are wide-eyed and start to shuffle out of the room awkwardly.

"No, you guys don't have to leave. I'll go," you say and quickly pick up your bag.

"Y/N-" Jake starts and you're already out the door. "Y/N!" he repeats. What a turn of events.

He finally catches up to you and grabs your hand.

"What, Jake?" you yank back your hand.

He opens and closes his mouth a few times and you roll your eyes before turning back around. Your open your car door and he yells out, "I'm..."

"You're what?" you look at him.

He looks around and you just get into your car. Before you could close the door he stops it.

"Do you even like me?" he asks.

"What!?" you exclaim.

"I mean you're always talking to my brothers more than me!" he starts to raise his voice.

"Jake," you sigh. How could he think this? "You don't get to yell at me right now. You left me there with them, what did you expect to happen?"

"Well I left because you were-"

"Jake," you cut him off, "You're the one I want. Not Sam, not Josh. You. But you can't be upset with me because we have a friendship. And you can't do things like that, it's not okay...."

"I know," he brings a hand to his face, "I'm sorry, I just... I was a dick. I wasn't thinking right. I shouldn't have done that. You didn't deserve that."

You sigh and step out of the car to stand in front of him.

"Do you forgive me?" he asks.

"You can't get out of it that easily," you raise your brow.

"Well... what can I do?"

"Um, not do that again? And stop thinking that I don't like you. Cause I do. A lot," you laugh softly at the end.

"I like you a lot too, that's why I did that, but it was stupid. It won't happen again, I promise," he pulls you into him and you bend your neck up to look at his face. His hair tickles your face in the process. "Okay, big girl?" he mocks.

You roll your eyes and push him away, but you can't hide the smile that creeps up onto your lips, "You're annoying. You know that?"

He shrugs, "Yeah... I'm sorry, again." You guys look at each other for a moment before he bends down to kiss you, but you put your hand on his face and he throws his head back, "Please stop being mad and let me kiss you," he groans.

You look around as if you're pondering and he grows impatient. "Stop fucking with me," he begs while tugging at your arm and you laugh.

"No, you have to earn this shit," you shake your head and he closes his eyes as he let's out a sigh.

"Please?" he does the puppy dog eyes thing that you can't resist. He begins to smile when he sees that you're cracking.

"Just this one," you bring a finger to his face, "time."

He laughs, "Yeah, whatever," he pulls your head to his and lets his lips linger on yours for a while and you laugh while trying to push him away.

"You're annoying," you repeat.

"I know," he smiles.

[soft-baby-dobrik]

sucker // david dobrik

a/n: okay so this was a request and i have never done an imagine like this BUT IMA GIVE IT A SHOT AND HOPE IT TURNS OUT GOOD AND WHAT THE ANON WANTED!!!! also the idea is actually SO CUTE I LOVE

REQUEST: Can you make one with David in it where it’s inspired by the new Jonas Brothers song “Sucker”?

summary: david is whipped for you and everyone jokes him for it, but he isn’t ashamed.

masterlist

requests are open

follow my instagram (david page) <3

David had done everything in his power at all times to treat you like a princess and make you feel wanted always. Anything you needed or wanted, he would do everything he could to give it to you or get it for you. The fact you never took advantage of this was what made him love you even more. Everyone saw this and knew he was head over heels for you. Some would say blinded by his love, but no one described it that way because you were the most caring and loving girlfriend to him. Truth of the matter was, he loved spoiling you. If you needed anything, even the dumbest thing, David was there as soon as he could be with it. As much as everyone thought it was adorable, they had to joke him for it, it’s the Youtuber way.

So many comments and jokes were made, all varying in degree. David would just laugh it off always, or roll his eyes. Being his girlfriend, you saw all the footage of the boys teasing him and joking him about how whipped he was for you. He never denied it, because he knew he was. There was no question that he would go to the ends of the Earth for you.

We go together

Better than birds of a feather, you and me

We change the weather, yeah

I'm feeling heat in December when you're 'round me

With you, it was so easy. Everything came easy. The smiles, the laughs, the happiness, the love all came without effort. From the day he met you, he knew he wanted you, and you felt the same way. It was so easy and natural with him and you both clicked instantly. The whole group tried to set you two up, and before you knew it, David took you on a sort of date and next thing you knew, he kissed you outside of the restaurant. It was a spur of the moment because he saw you laugh loudly and you both stopped for a moment and he was so close to you. If he overthought it, he would have chickened out so he did it with no thought. Both of you were shocked, but you kissed him back immediately. That was just the beginning.

I've been dancing on top of cars and stumbling out of bars

I follow you through the dark, can't get enough

You're the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain

And, baby, you know it's obvious

No one had to tell you David cared about you. He made it known every moment of everyday. Whether it was through his sweet words or actions, he showed that he loved you. In his eyes, you were the most important thing and his number one priority. When you came into the friend group, David’s heart was mending. He told you multiple times and made multiple jokes on how he was never going to find love and questions if it existed. You were the one that sat by his side through it and made him laugh. His heart would beat out of his chest in your prescience and yours did the same. Both of your feelings were obvious for one another. Unintentionally, he began to fall for you. At first he did not even notice it, and before he knew it, he would have to bite on his bottom lip to stop his urge to kiss you. You had saved him from keeping his heart off limits. You showed him that love is real and that he could be loved and cared for.

I'm a sucker for you

You say the word and I'll go anywhere blindly

I'm a sucker for you, yeah

Any road you take, you know that you'll find me

I am a sucker for all the subliminal things

No one knows about you (About you), about you (About you)

And you're making the typical me break my typical rules

It's true, I'm a sucker for you, yeah

David was a complete sucker for you. Every part of you made him weak and he could not control himself around you. His heart was off limits and the second you came in and you began to mend it, he broke his rule of staying out of a relationship. From the beginning, he wanted to know everything about you, the good, the bad, and the hurt. He listened to your own fears and made sure to diminish any worry you had, just like you did for him. It was his job to make you feel happy and treat you like the princess you were. Many guys had ruined you and your own heart before David met you, and he made it his job to fix that.

He had done everything he could to make you happy and comfortable in your relationship together, you knew that. How determined he was to make you happy constantly was what made you love him.

Today was like any other day with you lounging around at David’s house. Natalie was there and so were a couple others. You had taken a nap and did not know people were coming over, so when you walked out in one of David’s oversized sweaters, you padded down the hallway. There he sat on the couch with a blanket covering his lap with Zane and Todd on the couches. Your cheeks flushed since you did not have pants on, but you were not aware of company. David’s smile shown beautifully as he saw you.

“Hi, beautiful,” he said as you hurried over to sit next to him. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around you to pull you close to him after you got under the blanket. There was a slight chill in the house, making you shiver.

“Hi,” you mumbled, cuddling into his warm chest, still slightly sleepy.

“Are you cold? Do you want me to get another blanket?” he asked, worriedly. Todd and Zane snickered at him.

“Or some tea to warm you? Or maybe I’ll buy you a $1000 gucci heated blanket!” Zane joked, making David roll his eyes with a smile and you giggle.

“Dude, you’re so fucking whipped,” Todd laughed, looking over to him. “I bet if she even mentioned liking another car you’d buy it for her right now.” You laughed a little since a situation similar to this had happened, making you smile at your sweet boyfriend. With the thought in mind, you pressed a small kiss to his cheek, making him return the smile.

“You’re right. I would do just about anything for y/n,” David responded, confidently.

“Bro you are so pussy whipped it is actually kind of sad,” Todd laughed, a somewhat joking tone in his words. David’s normal demeanor changed. What usually would be a witty remark with a laugh, was now a tense silence.

“You know you guys kinda give me shit for this all the time,” David said, annoyed. “And I don’t know why. She is my girlfriend. She is the best to me and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spoil her and make her happy,” David continued, as you traced patterns on the back of his hand, awkwardly.

“We’re not saying it’s bad. You just do anything she wants, like without her asking for things,” Zane laughed. Clearly, both him and Todd were teasing him about being whipped for you, like it was less manly of David.

“You do realize that, I don’t ask for him to do it, but it shows that he’s thoughtful and cares. He listens to me when i talk about stupid things and next thing I know he is surprising me with it. That’s not what it’s all about, but it is beyond sweet and very fucking attractive that he cares like this,” you said, sweetly. All of them knew you had no cruel intentions and nobody was offended.

“Look, I know I’m whipped as fuck for y/n, but I fucking love it,” David beamed. “You guys don’t get it. When I do something, even something small and stupid to you guys, she gets all smiley and happy and it makes me happy. And the sex is even better when she’s happy,” David smiled, cheekily at the end.

“David!” you exclaimed, laughing a little. His head ducked down to press a kiss to your forehead. Zane and Todd laughed loudly.

“You’re such a pussy,” Todd laughed, directing it to David.

“Maybe I am, but guess who’s getting more pussy than you,” David shot back, pulling you into his lap. Zane and you both laughed as Todd mocked being offended. “Joke me all you want, but I’m not about to stop spoiling her because you guys think I’m over the top. I mean, look at her, who wouldn’t wanna spoil her like the princess she is,” he continued and you shook your head.

“Maybe we’re all just depressed and lonely,” Zane jokingly spoke. Every one chuckled as you laid your head in the crook of his neck.

“Or maybe you guys are just sickeningly cute together,” Todd shrugged, making you grin.

“I mean, have you seen David? He’s beyond cute,” you giggled. Todd made a disgusted noise before everything settled down and they continued to watch the movie. David had his arms around you, lazily.

His head bent down to whisper, “I am whipped as fuck for you and proud of it.”

“I am crazily in love with you and proud of it,” you whispered back as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“And also you in my sweater right now is hot as fuck,” he added, leaning to press a soft kiss to your neck. You bit back a smile as you leaned into him to watch the movie, but really you were just watching David.

a/n: so like idk exactly what this is and i’m sorry??? i feel like i failed but it’s cool it’s fine. and i typed this on my phone bc i started it and tumblr wouldn’t let me edit it on my computer, only on my mobile app so rip.

[01010010-posts]

abo anon. i'm doing okay, hope u r too! i can't stop imagine the omega bois after to keep quiet (or at least really trying to) while they're doing the do w their alpha. like maybe they have house guests & they don't wanna be heard through the walls? maybe they're doing somewhere they really shouldn't be, like in public or at the office? maybe they're hiding in the closet or in a connecting bathroom & someone comes into the room just outside? idk why i can't get this out of my mind

kinda!! im super stressed about these exams, i have 0 to little free time so uhhh speaking of this!! i’d love to continue my wip about RK900 masturbating in public,,, and get to all asks,,, but im super slow (sorry!!)i’d go with house guests, btw! more than one time i’ve found myself hearing people having sex,,,, often because walls are paper thin & if you fuck against it loudly,,, well,,, and one time i was in the same room with a friend & her boyfriend and apparently,,,, they really needed to fuck while they were on the bed and i was sleeping on the floor next to them BUT returning to the matter at hand! they’d be so into it,,, prob RK900 would be the only one to openly say it but connor & 60 would lowkey like it too, the comfort of being in their own home but the thrill of someone eavesdropping their moans, the sounds they make, their pleads? and their alpha cooing over them, asking to be quite because as much as they love their whimpers they don’t want to be discovered and gosh,,,, their alpha being so loving, saying again and again how good they are for keeping quiet,,, man!!! they would very much love it. rebooting because of overstimulation is not adviced but they can’t help it,,, your touch feels so good, of course they overheat from the pleasure. not like they’re doing it on purpose after all (aftercare is super important!! they never skip that! also their legs shaking,,,, my jam)UGH yes??? yeS??? they have cute perky little butts and even if they’re made of plastic they’re incredibly soft?? like?? what the fuck?? gotta thanks cyberlife for one (1) thing i guess? spanking & bites are mandatory by the new androids laws,,,, can’t have a butt so cute under your eyes all the time and not get a little touchy-feely with it c’mon!!!! this is A++ level of teasing fuck?? so lost in their little codes they don’t even realize their alpha has stopped thrusting,,,, connor is a little annoyed tbh i think his partner does it more than what he’d like to and it drives him mad, he loves & hates this kind of teasing so he’d def start to say please please please a myriad of times until he slowly starts to fuck himself (hiccuping moans are so precious? thank u) but boy when his alpha pins him down he’s so ready for it,,, and so are 60 (he ADORES it, the waiting is the best part, it builds up a lot) and RK900 (he pretends a bit but he gets so excited thinking about his alpha fucking him hard ok)he’s a sensitive cutie,,,, and i love him this way for this au bc he’s totally the type that you just want to mess up until he can’t think straight anymore. his little blue face when you kiss him all over? adorable. his moans when you hickeys onto his thighs? lovely. him taking your fingers into his mouth while you’re so close to his face you’re almost certain you could see warnings and texts in the reflection of his eyes any moment now? to die for. him seeing stars already?? hello?? when he’s knotted he’s,,, so high on his orgasm he would probably be seconds away from a soft reboot he loves being knotted so uhh,,,, please do more of this to him esp the tongue esp the knottingnever thought there could be a time where i learnt the word cockwarming but english’s full of wonders and im all here for them! apparently.them fucking themselves is,,, a thing,,,, so cute,,,, they’re so needy and,,, gosh,,,, connor would be silent, hoping that his alpha won’t notice because it’s morning and he doesn’t want to come off this greedy but ugh?? it’s all useless he’s so embarrassed when you stop faking being asleep & kiss him60 would do everything to wake you up but mhh weird nothings work so guess,,, there’s nothing to do if not,,,, help himself,,, he scolds you a bit when you do ‘wake up’ but he’s too busy pleasuring bothRK900 knows you know and he’s all down for it. when you feel like joining too he’s glad bc he was becoming a bit lonely without your touch (‘feel like joining’ as in ‘he feels too good you can’t feing another second of it’)GOD what did you do,,,, they would have none of it.as soon as connor sees you he’d be all ‘so cute of [name] to come here and surprise me’ & he feel your sweet sweet scent, he’s mesmerized by it but he’s not stupide he understands what you’re trying to do (he’s a detective!!) and gosh,,, it’s very HARD to keep his hands to himself,,, esp if you sit in his lap like it’s nothing,,, how he’s supposed to continue working??? after that??? either he finds time for a break (with you?? please?) or he keeps fidgeting with his coin until he’s home,,,, then trust me he’ll use those fingers for a better use (*cough*overstimulation*cough*)60 is,,, fucking done. you can’t come here at work and be THIS pretty. you can’t. he’ll arrest you. that’s it. it’s all your fault. or at least that’s what he would like to do,,,, he’s so weak for you he’d let you do anything you want,,,, wanna kiss and leave him wanting more? allowed. wanna whisper dirty DIRTY things into his ears? YEP do!!! he’ll blush and whisper MORE dirty things into yours. he’s a pro at that btw. if you,,,, tell him ‘i want your knot’ he’ll take a day off because now he has to pamper you for the whole night and the whole next day. sorry.RK900 where to even begin. he’s so perfect while doing his job. but you, how can he refuse if you visit him? he’s super happy and takes you somewhere quite where you two can cuddle. but not,,,, this time. this time you’re sitting on his lap, facing him, grinding painfully slow on him, he doesn’t know what to do he’s gulping down his own artificial spit and he’s trying his best not to take you home RN. someone help him. also your scent?? it’s so fucking nice today he could die in your arms without any regret. and when you abruptly stop and tell him that this is just a preview of what’s waiting for him tonight? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ANDROID DOING WORK SO QUICKLY? he probably overheats from the strain of filing 50 reports at once.

[leejeongz]

Stray Kids reaction to their little sister being in a relationship with another member

🤓sorry I had to change your ask kind of, I tried to write it as you asked but it just wasn’t easy for me, I hope you understand🤓

😍 credit to the og gif creators 😍

🙄 in this y/n is their little sister idk if that’s clear or not I mean it should be but who knows 🙄

Bang Chan:

“Why were you suddenly around the dorms everyday?” Chan thought as he was making pop corn for you all. He knew you liked Jisung for the longest time but even then you weren’t around this much? Were you beginning to miss Chan? As if on cue you walked into the kitchen and sat on the counter asking Chan if he had any issues with you and Jisung dating since he never talked about it with you. You thought he knew but nope, Christopher doesn’t get enough sleep to notice these things. He replied with a casual yes and played it off like he did know. You then walked back out of the kitchen with the freshly made pop corn as Chan “made his drink.” It took him about half an hour before he finally realised that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Like yes it was Jisung and like he was gonna be extra loud but he hadn’t noticed until now so it must be working out right? Later he spoke to Jisung.  

“Hey bro, please don’t break her heart or do anything stupid, she deserves better and you know that. Also please be quiet when you are cuddling, you need to learn that girls just want to have quiet time especially when they have to deal with you”

Woojin:

Woojin accidentally walked in on you and Chan on one cuddly, cosy Friday evening thinking that Chan would be out with his friends or something. He absentmindedly said “hey y/n, hey channie” and walked back out with the bag of chocolates he came in for like nothing had happened. He sat back in the living room and began eating his snack only then realising wtf he’d just seen. Firstly, Chris had a girl over? When did that ever happen? Secondly, it was you? His little sister? He decided to let you come out in your own time, opting out of the kicking off option since if you were happy then whatever. When you finally talked to woojin about it, he told you to always tell him about your relationships since he wants to protect you but he knows Chris is a good guy.

“You couldn’t have picked better if you tried”

Lee Know:

Minho witnessed the painful confession from changbin. His toes curled and his finger nails dug into his palms trying to resist not screaming. His eyes almost popped out of his head when you said yes. He didn’t object to the relationship but come on y/n “Do you have any taste?” In all seriousness he liked the fact you were together. Changbin would stop moaning about his hopeless crush on the “nameless girl” and you would stop moaning about being single even though you were literally a baby in Minho's eyes. It was a win win situation really. Minho knew that changbin wouldn’t do you dirty and he could keep an eye on you two. Sometimes he’d even “thank” himself for getting you two together even though he helped in no way, shape or form. 

“Now you have to find me my soulmate y/n”

Changbin:

Fucking hell your relationship with Woojin was painfully obvious. Yet Changbin payed no attention to it. One night he called you just to check in see how you were since he’d gone on tour and you’d obviously be missing your brother. He asked what was new on the boy front and you couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed. Your brother was seriously slow sometimes. When you told him about yours and woojins pretty long term relationship he shouted down the phone asking why you didn’t tell him and since when and how he hadn’t noticed along with loads more questions. He then went to ask Woojin the same questions still seeming to be surprised when he received the same answers. He came back to the phone and told you that you better start getting a room since he’d be able to notice all the skin ship now.

“Ew that’s gross my little sister being all grown up ew”

Hyunjin:

Family meals were always boring, but this time you had someone to bring, your boyfriend Seungmin. Hyunjin knew you were bringing your boyfriend but he had no idea who it was. Probably some bad boy like all the others he thought to himself as he prepared what he was going to say to them when they hurt you. Hyunjin got ready at his family home where you lived since you were too young to live alone. Seungmin made his way to the restaurant you told him to, getting there extra early so it wouldn’t be suspicious to the boys. When you arrived with your family, Hyunjin made eye contact with Seungmin but thought nothing of it. Maybe he was waiting for that girl he’d been seeing recently. Your mother greeted seungmin with a wide smile since they’d met so many times before and Hyunjin looked at you, confused as ever. To this day he’s still confused about your relationship and tries not to get involved with it.

“Guess I won’t be needed my bad boy warning speech anymore”

Han:

His best friend? And his sister? Y/N and Minho? Kissing? Under jype’s stairs? Bitch wtf? He made some kind of noise as soon as he saw you but immediately regretted it. Minho took his hands from around you and you both acted like nothing was happening and it was painful for prof actor Han Jisung to see. You thought he was gonna get angry but to be honest it made sense to Jisuung. You were a lot like Jisung and since he and Minho are close... He was glad to see you both happy finally. He knew you’d been stressed recently and so had Minho but seeing you two kiss, although it was icky... you both looked so relaxed around each other. Like you had no problems. That’s why Jisung didn’t want to break up what you already had with his big mouth.

“You’re perfect for each other, I’m kind of living for this?”

Felix:

Did he see that correctly? Hyunjin back hugged you while you poured some juice? He ran to that kitchen at the speed of light and peeled Hyunjin off you asking him what he thought he was doing mate included. Hyunjin was done with sneaking round, yeah it was fun but he just wants to hug you all. The. Time. Who’s complaining? He responded with “hugging my girlfriend that’s what”. After saying “she’s my sister” over 100 times he finally asked you if this was true. He saw how happy and relieved you were so he held off the teasing for a short while. He tried to act offended and then hugged Hyunjin telling you that he was his and you couldn’t take Hyunjin from him. Over all he’d make a joke out of the situation, there was nothing more he could do. He didn’t want to see you sad and if Hyunjin was all it took to make his little sister happy, get married now.

“Why aren’t you two on the front of a magazine yet? Did you finally stop caring about attention y/n?”

Seungmin:

You and Jeongin were the closest of friends since you studied together a lot. That’s all seungmin thought it was... not a relationship. He came up to your room to surprise you since you hadn’t seen him in such a long time but little did he know Jeongin snuck out every night to come and see you and was in there right now with you. He could hear Jeongin’s laugh distinctly while walking down the hall way, feeling slightly betrayed that you invited jeongin over and didn’t ask him but you were studying so whatever. He walked in and so you two having a somewhat tickle fight on the floor. Jeongin was embarrassed yet that didn’t stop you from giving him a peck as you two parted. You did it to confirm the relationship to Seungmin’s shook self. He was slightly annoyed that you didn’t tell him especially at Jeongin but he soon got over it. 

“I guess I have to get used to you two being annoying together then”

I.N:

How dare you sit next to Felix and not him? You got yourself comfortable next to your boyfriend Felix not even noticing your brother’s piercing stare. Jeongin didn’t care about embarrassment here and straight up asked you in front of everyone why you’d disown him like that. Your face went bright red and Felix laughed, engulfing you in his arms to hide your face. That’s when Jeongin clicked. Oh so you were dating now, and you didn’t even tell him? The audacity. He made the biggest noise about your relationship, constantly telling Felix to treat you right else he gets CUT. He didn’t care about him being his member, he wanted to make sure you were with the right man and that’s all he cared about at the time. He protected you with his life.

“Hurt her and I’ll actually call the police... or something”