#idk sorry for being salty I try not to put my toe into this stuff but sometimes I can’t resist

[sunnibits]

anyways not to pull out the “I’m literally neurodivergent and a minor” card but I honestly something makes the whole Discourse™️ thing in this fandom extra funny for me is the fact that I’m a minor (or at least will be for two more months lmao) and most of the people I see arguing all the time are like. grown ass adults in their 20s and 30s. like I’m sorry but isn’t it my job to be annoying and immature on the internet?? and y’all’s job to mind ur own business and be normal???? I think someone missed a memo here like don’t y’all have taxes to do or something 🤨 stop writing 2k+ word discourse posts online and go grocery shopping girl. your bread is literally growing mold as we speak

[heavenlysan]

Cruel Love [6]

Mafialeader!San | Detective!Reader | Soulmates | Choi San x female reader | NSFW!!! | Explicit language | T/W Harassment, Light violence and mentions of blood |

Words: 4,3k

Chapters:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

(Y/N'S POV)

The last ray of dim light disappeared after closing the door I rest against the door holding my chest trying to control the unknown things happening inside of me I look through the peephole and he's still there he stares blankly into space while touching his lips he smiles so big and raises one of his hands in victory he's happy? 

I go to bed thinking about how San is nothing like Irene's report portrayed him or at least he hasn't showed that side yet. He is a caring man who blushes easily. I feel my old phone vibrating under the mattress and I hurry up to see who it is if it's Irene I'm doomed.

"Hello?"

"Hey y/n how is the fake life going?" I sigh relieved after hearing Dylan's voice.

"Are you drunk or dumb? We're not supposed to have contact"

"I know" He laughs loudly "I just don't know if you remember that I'm working on your last case and one of the papers is missing I wanted to know if you still have it or if I have to ask our boss"

"Really? I left everything organised it shouldn't be missing but I probably messed up without realising it probably is in my apartment" I scratch my head trying to remember.

"Can I go to your old apartment to pick it up then?" He asks.

"Sure ask the doorman to open the door for you I'll call to let them know you're passing by" It's completely okay it's not the first time he does it I've known Dylan for two years almost three and it's not the first time he's there without me being present.

"Okay I'll call you after getting them, take care y/n" He ends the call.

I feel so troubled I feel really tired but I have to stay up to write a report that I don't even know where to start. Tonight San didn't show a single sign of him being a criminal we talked about our life and the FBI is surely not interested in his childhood. He did showed signs of his wealth the earrings, his expensive car and renting a whole planetarium just for us. I search around on the Internet to find how much the earrings are and my jaw drops as soon as I see the price 14,995 dollars. He must have a lot of money if he can do that casually buying expensive jewelry like it's candy. Me being an average human getting an average paycheck can't understand how he can spend that much on a woman he just met? My phone rings again, it's Dylan but is just a message this time.

Damn you must have been on a huge rush to leave your apartment like that 😭 since you can't come back for idk how long I'll clean it and tidy this place up for you but you owe me one.

What is he talking about? I call him immediately but he doesn't answer. What is he doing? I try again but it sends me to voicemail his message was sent only seconds ago why can't he pick up? But I try not to worry and just send him a message.

What do you mean? you're so dramatic not all of us are perfectionists and clean as you are I left my apartment as it always is and answer your phone I called you twice!!

I go back to my report and I write the little information I have I know Irene is going to yell at me because she gave me specific instructions of writing an extremely detailed report but the only thing I have is evidence of his wealth besides I'm doing a good job San is opening up and the whole point is gaining his trust Irene said it herself San was hard to find and me getting this close is in fact more than she expected.

I rest my head on the desk just to close my eyes for a little moment the tiredness is a lot but I have to keep on writing.

…

The sun dazzled me and I straighten up in my seat fuck I was supposed to just rest my eyes for a moment but I fell asleep. I stretch my arms and legs and I feel good It's been a long time since I've slept so well. My heart starts beating fast when I hear a knock on the door and I get up so fast to open just to find Irene on the other side.

"You must have had a rough night you look…" She looks at me from head to toes and tries to find non-offensive words or at least that's what she looks like. "Anyways remember my instructions? I'm here to see your report"

I don't really say anything to her I just guide her to my desk and give her the report.

"This is just" She holds the bridge of her nose and laughs then breaks the paper in half and throws it away "You think this is a joke? We don't give a shit about his money we're losing time" She yells at me, she looks furious.

I would usually lower my head and be a good employee but today that's not the case. "Don't you see? This is useful for the case knowing about his wealth we can get an idea of what he's doing find his credit history and see what business he's involved in" I yell back at her and she looks surprised "At least I'm getting things done you along with the rest of the FBI have been trying for too long to reach him but you failed you should be thankful I was able to get this close"

She's about to leave but turns back to look at me "Show me what you recorded"

Fuck not again.

"I wasn't able to get much" I get the earrings and I connect them to her laptop.

She tenses when she sees his face. In the short video I was able to get there he was it only showed when he gave me the flowers and the diamond earrings and before the video ends it shows how he took off my detective earrings.

"Flowers and diamond rings? You had a date with him right after you guys had sex? Seriously? Isn't supposed to be date and then sex" She says with saltiness in her voice.

"Listen, I'm aware that you're my superior and I should show you some respect but if you want that I want respect back if I had or didn't have sex with him that is the point of the investigation get close gain his trust so I don't know what you're getting so mad for but if you're really itching to know no, I didn't have sex with San"

"San? So you’re that close now" She nods and laughs sarcastically "Sure whatever you say I'll be back in a couple of days" She gets up to finally leave and I couldn't be happier about it "And y/n next time make sure to write something actually useful"

I sit on the couch for a moment, letting out a big sigh of frustration and anger why was she so mad about all of this? from the beginning she knew this wasn't going to be easy. My head hurts because all of this and I just lay back on the couch. I stare at the ceiling for too long my mind completely blank the last words she said definitely hit a nerve make sure to write something actually useful it remind me of stuff from my childhood and I get mad again can't she see I'm trying my best?.

I get up again to the kitchen to finally eat something and see if that can stop my headache but my phone starts ringing. It's an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi is this y/n?" Says a woman but there's a little bit of noise and I can't recognise her voice.

"Yeah it's me who is this?"

"Hi it's Lucy the tall girl from the bar I'm sorry if I catch you in a bad time but our boss isn't gonna be around for a few days and whenever he isn't around I'm in charge I was wondering if you could come to the bar earlier and help me with some stuff"

I think about it for a moment and I don't really want to go to that bar ever again but it's not like I have any other choice "Sure at what time do you want me there?"

"Around 4pm or earlier if you can, I hate being in charge here so if you can come earlier I'll really appreciate it"

"Okay I'll be there"

"Thank you new girl" She says and I end the call.

This is just fucking perfect the last time I was there, my confidence was left on the floor, I hated the way I had been treated. But I also wonder why the boss isn't gonna be around? He must be sick I guess.

I wonder if San is gonna be there tonight but that I remember he only goes there only once or twice per week so he might not be there tonight.

I take a shower and after that I finally eat something, but there's not much left to eat for the next week and there wasn't much food to begin with so I'm obligated to leave and get the groceries. I put on a hoodie some old jeans and I leave.

There's not many people in this neighbourhood it's nothing like my old one in my old building there was always noise always if it wasn't a couple fighting it was babies crying or if it wasn't that it was the same couple having loud sex in plain daylight. This neighbourhood it's nothing like that I've been walking and so far I've only seen one old lady taking out her trash.

"What are you doing outside gorgeous" Says a man but I don't even bother to turn around and I just keep walking. "Can't you see it's dangerous to be alone a girl with an ass like yours isn't safe anywhere" I feel disgusted and I just rush my steps. "Stop ignoring me dirty slut I've been observing you the other day you left with a short dress that made me so hard are you a whore beautiful? Because I'll gladly pay for your services"

I stop walking and I turn around to face him "Leave me alone or I'll scream"

"That won't do much honey have you seen this place? it's empty as fuck even if you scream for help nobody is gonna come and save you" He tries to get closer to me but I take a step back. "Come on gorgeous I just want a little taste of that pussy of yours you're a whore you want it too you're probably getting wet right now"

I've had enough of this man this time I'm the one that gets closer to him he probably thinks he got me, as soon as he lowers his guard I punch him in the face. He holds his nose and sees the blood in his hand and looks shocked "What did you call me? A whore? I'll show you what a whore can do then" I punch him again.

The man looks pissed but he doesn't stay for too long and runs away. He messed up with a good trained detective after all.

I finally get to the convenience store and get enough stuff for the next week.

"Your total would be" The cashier looks down at my hand "Are you okay!?" I get confused to what he means and I look at my hand and it's turning green and purple and there's some of my own blood I don't remember punching that man that much?.

"I'm okay thank you" I pay and I don't even bother to get my change I get out of there.

I hurry and I run as fast as I can to be safe, if that man appears again with this hand I won't be able to do much to defend myself. I get there and I close the door behind me completely breathless for running so much. I walk to the bathroom to wash and disinfect my hand, with eyes closed and itching pain I put a bandage on my hand. I've hit people before and my hand has never ended like this did I… punch him more than I remember?

I stay in the kitchen trying to rewind the tape but I only remember punching him twice and then he just ran away… But the blood on his face and my hand doesn't match up with my memories.

I glance at the clock 2pm I should start getting ready to head to the bar. I do my make up first a not so heavy smokey eye and red lipstick. I wear a short backless long sleeved black dress I'm gonna be cold at night but the other dresses are just as short and skin revealing as this one so there's no big difference. I eat something quickly before leaving and I just close the door.

With not so much enthusiasm I drive to the bar and I drive as slow as possible I don't want to be there and I don't want to be there this early. My hand still hurts I move the bandage a little and my hand still has a purple greenish color I knew it wasn't going to heal right away but I was hoping for a miracle because it's definitely going to draw attention.

I get there and in my head I definitely had thought that Lucy had called all the girls to help her too but we're all alone and as soon as she spots me Lucy gets so happy.

"y/n thank God you're here I was hoping to see you even earlier but it's okay, we're opening in a few hours and we need to get this place ready"

"You mean like clean and other stuff?" She nods "What happened to everyone doesn't this place already have another employees to get it ready?"

"Yes but I'm a woman and whenever I'm in charge not a single male employee does what I order they only listen to our boss and if he isn't around here they don't even bother to show up till it's time to open"

"Seriously? They sound pathetic" Lucy looks really stressed.

"I know right that's why I called you the other girls usually sleep all day to work all night so I got really glad we you picked up your phone I'll do most of the work inside but if you could wait outside for a delivery"

"Lucy, it's okay just breath for a moment" I hold her shoulders and she takes a deep breath "and relax we can do all the work on our own don't worry"

"Thank you y/n if you ever wanna go shopping or something, give me a call it'll be my treat"

I go outside as she asks me to but she didn't even mention what am I supposed to receive but I didn't want to give her more trouble.

I wait for a long time but there's no sign of any delivery the worst part is that it's a little bit cloudy it might rain in a few hours and I'm starting to get cold.

I sit on the edge of the sidewalk when I see a big truck parking next to the bar. Is that it? A man starts walking towards me and that confirms it.

"We got your boxes of Tequila Ley .925, Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne, Diva Vodka, Dalmore 62 that's a special one I've heard it's good ma'am and the last one is Penfold Ampoule just sign here please" Those are brand names? Even the names sound ridiculously expensive. I do as he says and he and another man start getting the boxes out of the truck.

"Now I know why Lucy preferred cleaning inside." I'm left with over forty boxes of expensive liquor that I'm supposed to move from the parking lot to the cellar. I take off my heels so I don't fall down the stairs and break the bottles and my ankles. This is definitely more tough that it looks like I keep going up and down till there's no more boxes on the parking lot I'm left exhausted with trembling legs and arms and I already want to go and take a long nap.

I lay on one of the red velvet sofas and Lucy sits in front of me

"Why you didn't call me to help you?" She was already so stressed and I didn't want to be a burden but I don't say anything "Our boss never makes such big orders unless a big event is coming I didn't know you'll be left with so many boxes and I also didn't see your injured hand I'm sorry" She sounds sincere and I just give her a smile.

"Don't worry about it I needed some exercise"

"But we can't stay here we're actually late to open so I need you to get up"

"What time is it? Did I already take that long?"

"It's 7pm we were supposed to open an hour ago but It's not your fault it was actually mine I took to long washing all the wine glasses"

She gets to the door and removes the lock and I just want the sofa to absorb me or something. It doesn't take too long for the other employees and the rest of the girls to finally get here and after around 30 min this place looks exactly like the first time I saw it. Men everywhere drinking and playing either darts or billiards.

I look around to find Lucy and she's already talking with a man.

So far I'm thankful nobody has asked me to have sex the only men who have approached me was just to flirt, invite me a drink and play billiards even if it was just so they could see my butt it's better than have sex with nasty drunk men.

I leave to the bathroom to get some air and stay away from the noise for a few minutes my knuckles hurt more than they did earlier. Carrying boxes all afternoon was obviously a terrible idea.

I go back and I see a familiar face it's San's friend Wooyoung and another man I don't know I try to avoid him seeing me but it's too late when I hear him calling me.

"You're the girl from the other night aren't you? What was your name" He closes his eyes "y/n! Right!" Shouts Wooyoung and I get closer so he doesn't have to be so loud.

"She's y/n? now I understand" Says the man next to Wooyoung even if they're sitting I can tell he is taller than him.

"Mingi don't be annoying" He tries not to laugh it looks like they're already drunk "By the way we couldn't convince San to come tonight but let me give him a quick call and let him know you're here"

"No no you don't have to" I try to stop him but he already has his phone out.

"San guess who's here she wants to see you" He laughs again he is definitely drunk but not a bad type of drunk. "He hung up on me I can't believe this bastard but don't worry y/n he's probably on his way"

A girl walks past Wooyoung and he forgets about my existence I think it's the same girl he was with last time but I can't remember her name. I look around and the other tall man Mingi left too.

Men keep inviting me drinks I definitely feel uncomfortable but again I rather this than sex. And I also start feeling a little dizzy.

"I can't believe San started liking another girl" I hear a deep voice that startles me I turn around to face him and it's Mingi. "After all he went through I thought this whole women thing was over for him but…"

One of the girls approaches me interrupting Mingi "A man paid for you he is waiting in the golden VIP room and please hurry we can't afford losing a client tonight" I look at Mingi and makes a gesture that indicates that it's okay.

I celebrated too early men not paying for me I jinxed it completely what am I gonna do? I don't want to do this. I walk through the green neoned hallway and I slowly open the door of the golden VIP room.

"I heard you wanted to see me"

A sigh of relief leaves my mouth when I see San. He looks so good he's wearing a black coat that makes him look so mysterious and elegant.

"Actually that was your friend Wooyoung" I say resting my back against the door.

"That's what I thought princess but I couldn't pass the opportunity to see you"

"Mr Choi San I don't know if you remember but the other night I got instructions to treat you like a God.”

He gets closer to me and the smell of whiskey fills the air. He wraps me with his arms and lifts me up I wrap my legs around his waist but he just looks at me with lust in his eyes I take the initiative and kiss him softly. And that feeling appears again it's unknown yet familiar and exciting. I remember where we are and if we're gonna do it I don't want it to be here.

"San let's go to another place." I say and San nods but before opening the door he pulls down my dress as it was before. He holds my non-injured hand and guides me outside where the rain takes us by surprise and we hurry to his car.

"Do you want to go to your house or my house" He asks and I smirk at him getting closer.

"Truth is I can't wait any longer" That's the alcohol talking for me. Those are enough words for San. We jump to the back seat and I sit on his lap he probably sees the desperation in my eyes because he tilts my chin up and kisses me. It’s rough but slow, he has his hands around my hips and I start teasing him grinding against his bulge.

"Princess…" He moans and that sounds so good.

It was obvious that both of us were drunk but none of that mattered right now. I desired him and he desired me. He switched positions resting my back on the seat, now he was on top. He takes off his coat he has a white shirt and black suspenders but my hands are faster than his and I unbutton his shirt revealing his abbs. I leave a trail of kisses first his lips and then his neck then his chest going lower and lower till I reach his pants I glance at him one last time he has his hands on my head caressing my hair. Without hesitation I unbuckle his belt and bring down his pants along with his boxers revealing how hard he is I kiss just the tip and he throws his head back I can feel how desperate he's getting.

"San you want me to keep going?" I whisper and he just nods. "What do you want me to do?"

"Princess please keep going I'm begging you" He sounds so desperate but I do as he says and I take it all at once. He moans aggressively and that makes me so wet, I can feel his legs twitching. He starts pushing my head and playing with my hair I go slow to tease him "You feel so good around me princess don't stop" I start going faster and faster I couldn’t get enough of him he felt so good. "Oh fuck" He groans and looks at me with a smile and kisses me right away. I couldn't believe all of this but I didn't want to stop either. He takes off my dress and I feel so exposed that I start blushing "You're beautiful princess" He's on top of me again I feel like my heart is gonna jump out of me anytime now. He kisses me roughly but there's tenderness in the way he does it. His hands go from my neck to my chest I feel like crying I'm desperate I want him inside of me.

"San please"

"I like that, keep doing that say my name princess" I feel the tip in my entrance God I can't do this anymore I want him inside of me now.

"San please fuck me" I wanted him in me, all at once I didn't care. His weight on top of me felt nice I wanted him even closer even deeper. "Hush" he said, and he kissed my eyelids, then my lips. His strong and gentle hands began to stroke me, his hands, his lips, his tongue this felt like heaven. He pushed further inside of me gentle. Knowing what he was doing. I felt my nipples rise, and it startled me, I felt like I was going to break in half. But it was worth it. He moved his hips faster and I was a moaning mess. I looked directly into his eyes and he held down both of my hands while leaving soft kisses on my lips. He was rhythmic, gentle, moving down my body.

San was making me feel yet another unknown feeling it felt strange and new but it felt extremely good. I throw my head back and let out one last moan there was a sharp brief pain It felt like a big explosion inside of me and then a sweet spasm went through me, no more pain just San's sweetness and tenderness.

[1080p16x9]

That ask thing! Every number ending in 3, 7, or 0!

Oh dang, that’s like, a third of the sheet.  3. What song really gets you going?     That’s a toughie cause it’s not really one song, but like a good few with either an audible beat that I can sync myself with, or nice fast paced one. Something like, Radio Gaga by Queen, Everybody Jump Around from Jet Set Radio, and Welcome to The World from the JoJo part 2 ost, to name 3. 7. Chocolate or fruity candy?     Chocolate since it would make it would make me feel sick slower than fruit candy if I ate too much. 10. Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?        Uhhhhhhhh I think a decent joke, if I know they’re coming from an upper floor, would be, “How was the weather up there?” 13. Favorite thing to drink out of (mug, glass, etc.)?       A mug for my mug please 17. Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?       Keep me cold or I will melt, for I am but a snowman, round and hatted. 20. Last thing you cried about?       Super Bomberman 2 speedruner going right for me 23. What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?       Around $60 on some nice shoes that have actually lasted me over a year so far. 27. Favorite shoes?       The sneakers I have right now since they have steel toes for my clumsy clown feet. 30. Have you ever had braces?       No, but I don’t think I needed them maybe

33. Last time you had an orgasm?       Sorry I came down with a sudden case of not being able to read this one 37. Makeup or natural?       Yes 40. Umbrella or rain coat?        Umbrella so I can do my Spin Move 43. What time do you usually go to bed?      Around 10-12. Sometimes I’ll be up around 2am if I have a weekend 47. Sweet or salty?       Sweat

50. Talk about something you’re passionate about.       Real talk, I’m pretty passionate about produce. I loved helping my customers find nice ripe stuff when they’re looking at fruits that are hard to tell if they’re good to go or not, giving them hints on how to keep certain things fresh, or just recommending which type of onion or potato for them to use. In the cutting room, I loved making nice shapes out of the fruits too, always made nice triangles out of the watermelon, and I filled the bowls past what we were supposed to about 100% of the time because we charge too much for them.

53. Favorite kind of pizza?       A light amount of meat, and some red pepper flakes for a nice amount of sting.

57. Favorite labels about you?      idk, I don’t put labels on myself so I don’t really know how to answer this one.

60. What size shoe do you wear?       American 13 Wide

63. Have you ever had sex on the first date?       Never, but mostly because I’ve never dated anyone  L:

67. Favorite vegetable?       Peppér

70. Favorite dessert?       Iced cream

73. Tell a funny story.       So this is one of my favorites. During an overnight shift in the produce department, where I’ve probably been exhausted the past several day-weeks, I had the sudden idea of a really bad sex position. It’s like if you and your partner tried going at it while doing the crab walk. I explain this to my coworker, and he hears me, but brings me into the cutting room to explain to our other coworkers what I had just told him. Both at least 20 years older than me don’t get why anyone would try to screw like that because of how uncomfortable it would be, and if it’s even possible. So my coworker and I demonstrate that it’s possible by basically getting into the position in front of them just to show them that it is at least possible to do so that way. It was a great night.

77. Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?       Probably a movie? I haven’t actually watched regular ass tv in a few years, but I do remember nothing good ever being on. 80. Has your opinion changed on something recently?       Not recently enough that I can remember as I type this anyway

83. If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?       Probably RP so I can be better at D&D

87. If you could change your height, would you?       Nah I think I’m solid with what im at right now

90. What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?       Just how beautiful your eyes are

93. What’s your spirit animal?       Well I’m white, but I don’t really have a fursona. Still waiting on my government assigned one

97. Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?       A bit of a mix tbh. Like, I’ll plan for stuff same-day, but that’s usually not very good for people involved who would like at least a few days notice

100. How would you celebrate your 100th birthday?        100 slaps to the ass, babeyyyyyy