#idk self worth is hard

[volivolition]

wiggles my fingers at you ouuuu… you want to tell me about solace so bad…

HKJGG wiggles my fingers back lovingly!!! i really do, i fuckin LOVE solace :3 hey did you know i really like making fake skill descriptions?

SOLACE

Follow the north star. Find light in even the darkest places. Cool for: Optimists, Recovering lost souls, Sweet summer children

Solace is the skill you tucked away long ago, at the bottom of Pandora's box. The little one that tells you: despite it all, there is still hope. It needs a lot of nurturing -- and it's far from being the most helpful for police work -- but taking care of it is basically self-care. It enables you to find the glow in yourself that you often ascribe to gold lungs or brilliant halos in others. It encourages you to wake up and watch the sunrise, to play board games with someone you love, to forgive yourself and let yourself be a gentler kind of animal. Constantly looking forward to a brighter future, it also helps shield your morale from damage.

At high levels, Solace gives you a heightened sense of childlike optimism - which isn't always the sense to lead with in this precariously harsh world. Always looking for the bright side will blindside you with naivety. At low levels, however, you may just extinguish whatever keeps your soul alight. You've already lost her once. You may not survive the desolation if you let her disappear again.

[tapeworrmart]

I'm really working on not drawing because I feel I HAVE to. But it is hard to then not feel like I'm doing anything productive lol. I'm still here!! Comms are open and prints available etc, but also I welcome anyone who wants to just chat to me too via asks or whatnot like. Sometimes it's hard to not just feel like I'm an art machine. and I don't really know what to do about that since I do support myself through my art so I can't exactly afford to not think that way at times. But this then makes art no better than a job which steals all your self worth to make u the best worker. I don't want art to be that for me all the time, I want self worth to be seperate from productivity.

Anyway that being said, I am also thinking about opening my own shop that isn't etsy cuz they take way too much off me (and are awful). Idk what to try but I was thinking of shopify or big cartel. Any advice, esp in the UK, would be great!

[batsplat]

casey is obvs funny with this rivalry stuff because on the one hand he's very 'well I don't care who I beat' (lie) and 'I don't motivate myself using my rivals' (also a lie) and then he's also repeatedly emphasising that valentino was ONE of his biggest rivals and he only competed against him a few years... like a lil side quest in the story of his career. Those Few Years where valentino was his big rival. whereas dani and jorge were his cohort so he did compete with them for a greater span of time... and this is technically true and does MATTER but it is also extremely noticeable in his output which rivalry he has the most thoughts about. and yes casey would say that this is because everyone ELSE cares the most about That One Rivalry the most and also his opponent being an annoying dickhead means it's the one he has the most complaints about... but at a certain point, it doesn't really matter, because there's still one rivalry you're talking about way more than any other. you can tell that he's at least given jorge's interiority a bit of thought, kinda went 'well he was arrogant but also Learnt From The Error Of His Ways and was maybe misunderstood so' -- but also he's not going beyond that, he's not examining jorge's soul, and he's not even doing any of that with dani. it's very much a rhetorical commitment to those other two rivalries. ultimately the point is that he's doing what he can to not talk up his biggest rivalry TOO much, because, you see. he Did Not Care That Much. (lie.) now objectively speaking this kind of framing literally does not matter, who cares which one of these was the most meaningful rivalry, but it's interesting that it matters to him!! casey's problem is that he is extremely sensitive and cares deeply about what other people say about him, but one of the things he's most sensitive about is the idea that he could let himself be mentally affected by ANYTHING, worst of all his rivals. they cannot be granted that much power over him. and all of this has kinda funny consequences in that he has pretty rigid patterns in how he talks about this stuff that are at times quite convoluted because he has to simultaneously emphasise that a) none of his rivals massively mattered to him, b) That Rival didn't matter more than the others, c) what That Rival did to him was completely beyond the pale, and d) none of that affected him mentally whatsoever. at most one of these is true. there are so many things casey wants so badly not to care about but it keeps spilling out of him anyway, this oozing sludge of resentment and repressed hopes and desires and frustration and longing and bitterness. he keeps giving himself away... he cares so much and he can't stand it

[mixtercandy]

zorry if this comes off as a little venty but im feeling so discouraged to post art here or... at all

[soppsop]

i just rememberd adhd meds exist and now im upset because i could have that if it wasn't for that freakin neurologyst we went to see that told us it was impossible that i could have adhd because i have good grades in school. literally the ONLY question he asked me and immediately said it was impossible. we spent like 5 minutes there. he could've at least... explained something???? anything?????? and now i'd feel bad about asking my parents to see another neurologist because that costs a lot of money :((

[onlyfangz]

it's wild to me how much taking care of yourself really does help. i feel like im stating the obvious, but i really didn't believe anyone when they told me its worth the extra effort. and when your brain is on fire, it really IS extra effort. and to be clear, it's not that im mentally well. i still struggle with low self esteem and depression and thoughts of self harm (still four years clean!) and its not that its easier in the sense of the feelings that cause all of those issues are less intense, it's moreso that youre not dealing with all the extra weight from not looking after yourself. im not feeling guilty and gross because i smell. im not miserable bc i have to walk over a pile of whatever the fuck to get to my bed. my head isnt constantly pounding bc im not eating or drinking or sleeping (or oversleeping). its not EASY. but im also no longer making it harder for myself. and its not to shame anyone for being stuck in that, i promise, wherever youre at ive probably been as bad if not worse, but goddamn, sometimes the difference between that four year streak breaking and that not happening really is a fucking walk and a shower, and it SUCKS, but its worth it.

[moe-broey]

Conflicted about something (actually has been on my mind for a long time, it's just never been brought up), but like. I do like portraying Moe with self-harm scars. I like to treat the scars the same way I treat its acne/the scarring that comes from that. Just like, a candid portrayal of Well, that's just how it looks. Because of this, I also don't like the idea that self-harm scars should always be trigger-tagged. Kind of gets into the idea of what bodies should be "censored", and like, man, sometimes people just look like that...

But I also do wanna be mindful... I wonder if the rule of thumb should be, if the self-harm is the focus of the piece? Then you should probably tag it? But then that kind of gets ambiguous fast like. Usually I color Moe's scars to be pink/faded. So even when they are visible, they don't jump out at you really. But this recent piece I wanted to emphasize the scarring. Is it emphasized enough to warrant a tag...? But the piece really isn't focused on that. It makes up part of the storytelling/theming of the piece, but also does sort of fall into the category of "Well Moe just looks like that".

Do you. See the conflict here.

[butnotbubblegum]

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.

[princessmyriad]

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[itspileofgoodthings]

tags continued from prev post.

[spaceratprodigy]

sorry for how slow and sparse I've been getting around to everyone. I'm doing my best but genuinely rn I desperately need to take care of myself instead of always putting others first.

[donnyclaws]

I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.

[theseusmcalt]

i love having friends who care about me i'm so grateful all the time... how on EARTH did i get this lucky !!!

[kuromi-hoemie]

last rb stressed me out lowkey akakska i had an ex like that and it became a self fulfilling prophecy kinda thing..

[scarletcomet]

my therapist was trying to convince me that I'd miss out on all of these things if I died, but I really don't care??

[charlieswebb]

the treat yourself and grind set mentality have gone too far let’s bring back just chilling and vibing