#idk man this healing journey is hard

[lovethisfatcryptid]

Tumblr will always be my home because I can post literally anything I want and my inbox doesn't fill up with a bunch of horny dudes trying to hook up.

O had to take a break from feabie already because I kept getting message after message of people wanting to have conversations and I'm just not about that. Talk to me in my comments. Enjoy what I post. Leave me alone!!

Unless I ask for attention or you're one of my people that I talk to daily, LEAVE ME ALONE.

[thelatebloomerdiaries]

[kayesfanfics]

wsppp 😋😋

Do you think Adrian tepes, Trevor, or hector would date a fem witch, ghost or werewolf ? If they would date a werewolf girl, how do you think they would deal with her shifting? It’s supposably painful bc the bones are breaking then fixing themselves in a new form😭 do you think the ghost gf would sometimes have self image issues cause she isn’t really there(transparent) witch gf would be really cute esp if she has a familiar like a black cat or crow (really basic ik) omg and she like has her familiar deliver letters to her lover when they are away 🥹 or she tries to like show her lover how to make potions and he ends up growing plants or a small explosion 😭😭 imagine he makes smth right and he’s bragging but then it blows up into his face 😹😹

I always see people write for vamps but I think it would be cool to include other monsters yk. I have so many ideas but idk how to write 😔😔

Hope ur doing well! -🌙

A/N: I added Isaac as well, but THIS WAS SUCH A FUN PROMPT AND IM SORRY IT TOOK SO DAMN LONG. But I love exploring other monsters, it’s so fun-

Trevor Belmont x Witch! Reader

His knowledge on magic is limited, but not unheard of. He understands the kind of magic Sypha uses, but yours isn’t quite like it. Your type of magic uses alchemy, black magic, the “devils work”. You’ve been cast out and targeted for practicing such things, but you continued to practice witchcraft despite the attempts on your life. Trevor had actually seen you being hauled off to a jail roughly before saving you, recognizing you as a healer around this town

After saving you, he asked for a your witchcraft services to help heal a rather nasty wound he had received, so you took him to your house, where your familiar, a beautiful crow, was awaiting your return. He cawed at your and flew over to land on your shoulder, before cocking his head curiously at the large man behind you

“He’s a customer, my dear! Be hospitable!” You teased, before guiding Trevor over to a room that contained all of your supplies and books. You put together a salve for him, and offered to put it on his wounds for him, to which he accepted and casually began to undress until he was shirtless. You stared at him with a blush on your face for a moment, until he grinned and teased you saying “My eyes are up here, love~”

You allowed him to stay with you for a few nights, which slowly blossomed into some sort of a romantic and physical relationship. When he had to leave to go kill some vampires he’d been hired to get rid of, you’d send him off with healing herbs he’d need to recreate the first salve you made for him. You’d send your familiar out to track him with magic and send him letters or extra supplies, and he’d always send some cheeky note back to you that made you giggle and kick your feet

He definitely tries to help you with your potions and powders, getting supplies or tools for you when you asked. One time he successfully recreated a potion, that is until he got cocky and knocked over another vial into the potion, causing it to explode and blow up into his face, ruining his hair and leaving his face scorched, which made you laugh so hard you nearly pissed yourself as he sarcastically laughed along with you

Adrian Tepes x Ghost! Reader

You often times didn’t feel real and felt like your existence was useless and didn’t have a purpose, that is until you met a beautiful man with pale skin and pale blonde hair, with beautiful golden eyes and sharp fangs. He was mesmerizing and intelligent despite his age, and the two of you formed a relationship, which was soon crumbled by his father injuring him so badly he had to lock himself in a coffin to rest and heal. You haunted the place he had put himself to recover from his fathers attack, and took it upon yourself to watch over him and guard his tomb

After joining Trevor and Sypha on the journey to kill Dracula, you went with them and used your own abilities to help fight. Luckily nothing could kill you again, so you were able to fight by becoming fully invisible, making yourself solid then phase through creatures. Sypha asked you many questions on the journey about you and what it’s like being a ghost, Adrian smiling fondly as the two of you chatted excitedly, as he hadn’t seen you have a friend before

Whenever your self doubts and insecurities about your existence plagued you, he was always there to assure you that you were indeed real. You didn’t have a grave or body to visit as your body had been burned and cremated as to not start a plague, but you had a whole life before him you could tell him about. He’d be able to touch you and feel you were real, kiss you on the forehead to show you you were real

You too didn’t need as much sleep as he did, being dead and all. So you both often roamed the castle together and continued to clean and upkeep it together, rather than restlessly lying in a bed all night. The two of you would have intelligent conversations about philosophy, the science his mother studied, history, things of that sort to get you through sleepless nights. Lying in bed together cuddling while conversing, his hand rubbing your back as you rested your head on his chest

Hector x Werewolf! Reader

As an expert on creatures of the night, he wasn’t phased slightly when he heard Master Dracula had recruited a werewolf into his Court. Despite being half human, you were never treated as one, only being treated like a dog by your fellow species. So you instead took revenge by ripping apart those who hurt you, and Dracula had met you years ago similar to how he met Hector and Isaac, but was recruited last due to your hiding out in secrecy from everybody, you were difficult to track down even for Dracula

When you arrived, you appeared as a regular human, but the vampires could sense you were anything but. You bowed to Dracula and thanked him for the opportunity to help his cause, before he told you to begin planning with the other generals. After speaking with the vampires, you decided to learn about the humans, as you were curious why they would help kill their own kind as well. You started with the silver haired man, and bonded over your shared mistreatment by humans, and he was curious about your more wolf form. You smiled and told him he’d have to wait for that, making sure he’d have something to come back to you for, as you grew fond of the shy and straight to the point man

When he finally got to see it, he watched in borderline horror as you howled in pain from the transformation, hearing your bones snap and crack into new places as you transformed into a large, furry monster. But Hector wasn’t truly afraid of you, just of the pain he heard you in, and he gently approached you and rested a hand on your forehead as he did his night creatures to comfort and calm them through their own transformations. You shut your eyes and leaned into his touch, waiting the transformation out together until it was complete, and you could stand at your new full height, well above him. He’d only look at you with fascination rather than fear or hatred like everyone else did

Isaac x Gorgon! Reader

He is clearly not disturbed or taken aback by monsters of any kind, he’d face one with a stoic face and calm demeanor. You came to Dracula one night after being driven away by townspeople for accidentally turning someone to stone, so he allowed you refuge in his castle and gifted you a magical blindfold that would keep you from laying your eyes upon anyone and turning them into a statue. Ever since then you’ve been loyal to him and agreed immediately to help him with your cause, and to use your ability to fight off humans that have wronged you. When you met Isaac, he was immediately intrigued but didn’t make it obvious. You spent a lot of time listening to him work and hearing his night creatures be brought to life, and he’d even guided you to pet a night creature that was calm for him

Throughout the war you formed a relationship with the cold man, though he was warm to you. Never sappy or super affectionate, but he’d do things like learn Braille for you and create plaques as labels on things for you, fight alongside you and tie your blindfold back on for you when the battle was over, create night creatures specifically to help you. He allowed you to hold his arm as you walked through the ever changing castle with him. He never thought he’d find love amongst all this chaos and death, he didn’t even want to befriend Hector because of it, but yet he found himself infatuated with you and wanting to spend as much time as he had left with you

He didn’t mind the fact he’d never be able to look into your eyes, and you didn’t mind the fact you’d never be able to look at him at all except through maybe a portrait. The two of you simply enjoyed the others presence and company, oftentimes sitting beside each other doing your own things, always having a comfortable silence between the both of you. You didn’t turn objects to stone, so if you made sure not to look at any living being, you could do things like read and he’d help make sure you wouldn’t accidentally turn anyone to stone

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#22: He Needs You (S4E11)

Rick and Michonne are two highly competent individuals and yet they still have this beautiful need for each other. In every sense. It was clear early in their relationship when Michonne told Rick, "Either way you need me" during the season 3 msf. It was clear in No Way Out, the iconic episode just before Richonne became canon, when Michonne saw Rick walk out into that horde and urgently said he needs my help. And it was made especially clear that Rick and Michonne need each other in this season 4 moment right here...

In those two s3 and s6 examples, it was Michonne being aware that Rick needs her, but in this beautiful scene in the great episode that is Claimed, it’s Rick revealing he too is aware of how much he needs Michonne.

And he needs her in the most vulnerable and important way because, even as early as season 4, Rick knew he needed Michonne when it came to his most cherished connection in the world - his son. 

Now, this scene holds a lot of personal significance to me in my own journey of falling in love with Richonne because when I finally emerged from the sunken place and realized Rick and Michonne had actually been falling in love for seasons, this was the first pre-canon scene I went back and rewatched post-canon. And truly my eyes were just wide open to the fact that this romantic relationship was a long time coming. 

All I had to do was see this scene to be a believer that Richonne was in the works early and that these two didn’t just love and respect each other but also were very clearly physically attracted to each other and drawn to each other in a special way.

This moment is so important because it’s Rick and Michonne acknowledging their need for each other and essentially agreeing to parent together from here on out. 

So I already love seeing the scene beforehand with Carl and Michonne bonding at the table and laughing over stories of soy milk. And then seeing them both saddened by the mention of Judith is heartbreaking. But I’m so glad Michonne and Carl had each other to relate to and process with, as they do so movingly throughout this entire episode. 

And I’m not the only one glad Michonne and Carl have each other - cuz in the next scene, Rick expresses exactly that. 

Michonne enters the kitchen where Rick is going through drawers, and one thing that lovely man is always going to do is thank Michonne so the first thing he says is "thank you." I love that Rick is so willing to express gratitude for Michonne’s presence in his and Carl's life.

After Rick and Carl’s hard times in the After episode, it was feeling like those boys might need divine intervention to truly heal…cue the ever-so-divine Michonne reentering their lives. 😌

Rick is such a good dad for real, and I love that he’s thanking her for getting Carl to laugh and then gets vulnerable that he almost forgot what that sounded like. It's one of those early ways of Rick letting Michonne see a more human side of himself. And truly to be able to give a kid joy in that world - I know Rick feels like Michonne is invaluable for many reasons, but for that especially. 

Also it's sad seeing how absolutely bruised and battered Rick is after that brawl with the Governor. And the crazy thing is he'd be looking worse than this or straight up dead had Michonne not saved his life and killed the Governor. That's another reason why it's fitting for the first thing Rick says to Michonne post-prison to be "thank you." In a lot of ways, he's still here because of her. And the way Rick and Carl bring Michonne back to herself, she's still here because of them too. 🥰

Also watching this back…the way Michonne is reacting as she listens to him tho. 🤭 I just have to note again - Sis likes him, y’all. Like this is truly the crush era for both of them cuz her energy in this scene is giving “he gives me butterflies” a bit idk. Like she’s always composed of course, but Rick brings out a different subtle nervous energy to her. And she brings out the same in him, and I love to see it in this phase of their relationship. 

Rick continues to be very honest with Michonne when he tells her that he can’t be Carl's father and best friend. And then the best part is Rick outright telling Michonne, "He needs you." Carl needs Michonne. 🥹 It's true tho. And Carl's dad, who knows his son best, knows this to be true.

This moment already was so moving but packs an even bigger punch now that we know Carl will so sincerely tell Michonne that she’s his best friend on his deathbed. And she'll confirm that he's hers too. 😭

And I love that, even here in season 4, just one season after meeting her - Rick knows not just that Carl enjoys Michonne but really needs Michonne. It’s another huge moment of one being vulnerable with her and also entrusting her with this knowledge that she’s super important both to Carl and to him. Because really if Carl needs her, then Rick absolutely knows he himself needs her too, and I love that he didn’t shy away from telling her this.

It’s cool that this time last season they were strangers, and now here Rick and Michonne are in this house looking like a whole family and talking about needing each other. And it’s also great how this is the two of them talking in the early stages of parenting their kids when they will later go on to have a baby too. What a journey. 🥰

I love that Michonne gets to tap back into her mother side with Carl back in her life. She tried to shut that part of herself off after losing little Andre but it’s still so clearly in her, and it’s beautiful the way Carl (and Judith in that moving scene when Michonne cries holding baby Judith in the prison) brought that out of her again.

It’s also really sweet that Rick acknowledges that’s a lot to throw at her. Rick was thrown into being a single dad so suddenly in season 3, and while going through his own trauma and pain, he still tries so hard to be a good dad to Carl. And even knowing he needs Michonne in Carl's life, he still doesn’t want to overwhelm her with it, especially cuz he knows she’s the independent go-out-on-my-own-to-hunt-down-crazy-governors type.

I noticed that even early pre-canon Rick seemed to be mindful of what Michonne wanted and needed, especially because deep down he didn’t want to lose her.  And I love that as Rick and Michonne's love story continued to unfold, he'd learn he never has to worry about losing her because she's with him always. 😊

So Rick says, "if you ever feel like you need a break..." but Michonne makes it clear that she’s here to stay when she speaks for the first time in the scene and assuredly says, "I’m done taking breaks."

I love how even tho Michonne didn’t talk a ton in the early seasons whenever she did speak it was just powerful and impactful. And you know she means it when she says this. She loves these Grimes boys and she’s not leaving them anymore.

This really is the season they become family and parents together without ever looking back. I love that Michonne gets this confirmation that she’s needed and valued and gets to give Rick this confirmation that so is he, and she's in it with them for the long haul.

Rick nods and then they have those signature lingering looks. Then Michonne asks what the plan is and if this place is home. That’s always very telling to me because it shows she’d be willing to establish a long-term home with them. #family.

I really feel like if both of them had found different members of tf they might be thinking more urgently about finding others, but when the three of them found each other, they found who they most needed and who they could really stop and build a fulfilling life with if they wanted.

Rick says, "Let’s just stay here while we figure it out," and then they have this quiet long moment of just staring at each other again. That clear sexual tension makes them fidgety a little bit. 😋 And like, why are these stares between them always so long? 🤭 #HereForIt.

I love this era where Rick and Michonne so clearly make each other feel a type of way in a way no one else could and they think they're being subtle about it when they're not lol. Like I know the direct quote from both their minds in this house is, “You’re about as fine as can be and now I’m really out here in an apocalypse catching feelings.” Lol, they just be mesmerized with each other and can’t help it.

Tell me both their expressions in this scene aren't a little bit or a lotta bit giving...

And also I think Rick knows that he’s suggesting he wants her to stay put with them for an indefinite amount of time and is a little nervous about if Michonne would be willing to do that with them, hence his expression. 

Michonne shows she is willing to settle in here with them when she nods and says she’ll get the supplies they need with Carl, and Rick quickly offers to go. You know these Get Things Done Grimes are always willing to go get things done. Rick and Michonne have always had that in common.

But they’ve also always had it in common to look out for the other, and so Michonne reminds Rick that he was unconscious the other day, which 😢. Like hearing that made me think dang Rick was really fighting for his life with these injuries and still trying to be a good dad and thoughtful toward Michonne while even in and out of consciousness. Real one.

Rick says, "I'm awake today" as if being full unconscious the day before is old news lol. He's like...

But Michonne then expresses her and Carl's need for Rick when she says, "We need you strong." Again I love that they need each other, and they know it and voice it.

And I especially love that Michonne so soothingly tells him to "Just rest. One more day." Cuz truly resting is a rare luxury in that world, but Michonne really can give Rick that luxury.

As much as Rick and Michonne are go-getters, they’ve also shown they're good at reminding the other to take a break, and that’s so refreshing, needed, and important. We got us a balanced couple, y'all. 👌🏽

Michonne speaks to Rick so compassionately, it reminds me of how she speaks and looks at him when she tells him he gets a few more days in their honeymoon ep Say Yes. (Also, this s4 scene shows they’ve been giving each other the heart eyes for the longest.) And you know Rick is going to listen and agree after she tells him to rest.

Michonne walks out of the kitchen, and seeing Rick turn and watch her go...that was my first moment of realizing oh he’s been checking her out for seasons. It’s great. (and it made his hand placement at the end of their canon ep make a lot of sense lol)

Lingering on this shot of him watching her walk gives such an indicator of attraction to me. Cuz yes Rick has an overall appreciation for her, of course, but he could’ve been appreciative while continuing to look out the window like he just was lol. That turn around and attentively watching her go was cuz Rick likes what he’s seeing. Always has. 😌

And I bet Michonne's walk would be on the list of things Rick loves about her, just like Rick’s walk is on the list of things she loves about him. 

Both of their energy in this season 4 scene just screams that whatever they have between them is not just platonic. And they’re just such parents in this ep. I love that the next scene is Rick again sending Carl out on a run alone with Michonne. He seriously trusts her to have done this twice now so early in their relationship, both in this ep and in Clear.

And when Rick says, "follow her lead" to Carl, and Michonne winks at Rick, letting him know she’ll make sure their kid is taken care of and gets something to eat on their run - issa whole mom and dad. 🤗

Rick, Michonne, and Carl really did find their truest home within each other, and in this ep, you can see how true that is. So I love this episode for really establishing Richonne as parents together and solidifying the lovely Grimes 2.0.

And it's great how Rick and Michonne’s deep need for each other so beautifully evolved into deep romantic love for each other too, as their family tree grew even more with the adorable addition of RJ. 🤗

Richonne's journey from Rick telling Michonne their son Carl needs her in season 4 to them having a son of their own in season 9, just goes to show we stan a ship with an abundance of riches. Boundlessly blessed, y'all. 😌

[yanderes-galore]

Hello Phanter, I hope you're doing well! 🙌

Would you mind writing a few headcanons for a Platonic!Yandere Marcoh and Pav with a rather weak Reader?

May you have a great holiday season!!<3

Sure! I made the separate as idk if you meant sharing or not. They're probably incompatible anyways now that I think about it.

Yandere! Platonic! Marcoh + Pavel with Weak! Darling

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Overprotective behavior, Murder, Blood mention, Isolation, Fear of death, Forced companionship.

Marcoh

Well, Marcoh stuck around Olivia because she was in a wheelchair.

If you were weak in battle then he'd certainly feel an urge to protect you.

Despite his reserved nature I feel Marcoh would be willing to protect you.

He's protected Olivia and Tanaka during the festival, he'd do the same with you.

Although, as this is yandere, he no doubt protects you more intensely.

You naturally end up gravitating towards Marcoh as he seems like the strongest fighter on the train.

Marcoh feels obligated to protect you because you admit you're a terrible fighter.

People like you wouldn't last long in a game of survival… so you need some help!

Marcoh sees you as either a sibling or friend.

He starts off really reserved but when you recruit him he quickly ends up becoming your bodyguard.

Marcoh towers over you due to his stature and it's like he has an intimidating aura.

Even though he hates his violent past and doesn't want to fight unless he has to….

Marcoh knows in a place like this you have to fight to survive.

Whenever you encounter corrupted townsfolk or creatures, Marcoh is quick to intervene.

Marcoh is strong, you can notice it in his hits.

Although it seems like he's trying harder for you as you can't hit as hard, even with your weapon (unless you have a firearm).

Marcoh mostly acts as a bodyguard, although there's times he breaks his stoic and reclusive behavior to care for you.

Marcoh is socially awkward so speaking is sometimes a struggle, yet he tries to get over it when speaking to you.

Marcoh is kind and friendly towards you.

He often asks how you're taking things and comforts you when you're scared.

If you're injured he tries his best to heal you, although he may also try to find help (Like from Daan).

With a weak darling he'd be extremely protective.

He rarely leaves you alone and is determined to have you both survive the horrors of this city.

Marcoh may also try to teach you basic self-defense due to the danger.

He'll try to be gentle as you're weaker than him.

In fact, Marcoh treats you like you may break any moment.

That's why he keeps staining his hands with more red for you.

As he grows attached and this twisted game continues, Marcoh finds himself wanting to treat you like a doll who may break.

Why should you go out there at all?

Maybe you should just stay back on the train… with him…

That way you two can be safe… after all… what's the worst that can happen?

“You'll be the safest here with me watching you… please don't fight me on this.”

Pavel Yudin

Pavel is a man with a trigger finger

His reason for coming to Prehevil is due to his urge for revenge.

He wants The Kaiser dead for what happened to his home.

As a result, Pavel is often violent and willing to get rid of anyone in his way.

If he had felt something towards you, a weak soul sent to slaughter, he'd be ruthless.

Pavel isn't known for being caring.

He's sly and mischievous.

However, maybe he has a change of heart when you treat his wounds after encountering The Kaiser.

At first he brushes you off.

You're so weak yet you still risked your life to drag him back here to the train and treat him?

How idiotic…

….

On second thought… Maybe he can have you tag along.

You won't last long out here on your own.

You'll need a companion on your journey.

While Marcoh has some hesitance to kill, Pavel straight up doesn't.

If something threatens you he straight up shoots them in the face.

Contestant, monster, Kaiser… doesn't matter to him.

You've managed to worm your way into his mind and heart, so he'll protect you.

He sees you as some sort of comrade, one who gave him kindness.

Such a thing is a weakness… but to him, he sees it as a useful weakness.

He isn't very empathetic so he's more just like a cold bodyguard.

He doesn't mind the blood staining his clothes as he gets rid of foes.

Even covered in the stuff he still checks on you.

Pavel often comes to you for treatment, yet he'll treat you too.

He prefers just having to look after you.

He shows distaste in some of the other contestants around you.

You wonder just how long it'll take before he just decides to kill the others.

When it comes to you… he might actually do it.

Especially in a festival such as this.

You can just see it in his eyes…

You aren't sure if you're ready for when that time comes, either.

“Anyone touches you and they're dead, stay behind me. Don't cause me any problems.”

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hello everyone, today I'll do something never before seen on the flames and darkness liveblog which is read TWO chapters!! Idk man, i havent been able to read more than one chapter at a time recently because this book suddenly turned into such a slog to get through, although granted that might also just be my mental illness making it more difficult. whatever, i'll be in treatment for that next week

Anyway, today I'll be reading chapter 44 which is the star fall chapter, and chapter 45 which is. a chapter. Knowing this book series nothing of note is gonna happen in that one but that wont stop me from reading it

Chapter 44

Okay, theyre mentioning Feyre not looking so emancipated amymore and it made me remember all the weird weight shit from the start of this book. Like, she was losing weight because she was throwing up all the time and then not eating a lot and everyone was constantly remarking on that and it was unbelievably uncomfortable, but then when Feyre officially joined the night court and everyone immediately stopped talking about it, it almost feels a little manipulative, if that makes sense. Like, this book is ostensibly about Feyres healing journey but the Night Court cannot, under any circumstances, have anything negative associated with it so her trauma basically just disappears so we dont have to see the unpleasant parts of her recovery, she has one (1) nightmare after she starts living there permanently, one (1) moment where she feels too depressed to leave the bed and a few moment where she acts out but then immediately feels bad for it every time

Ughhhhh Feyre is wearing a dress for this which is really frustrating but you guys already know how I feel about that so shant go into that much more detail on this

I swear Im not just saying this to be a hater, Feyres dress sounds so tacky too

yoooooooo is Cassian implying he'd like to wear a tacky ass dress too??

and yet hes just wearing a BLACK TUNIC bro Feyre is literally covered in diamonds from head to toe so she can look like a shooting star or whatever and Cassian doesnt even have the decency to wear a black tunic that glitters or something?? Or hell, maybe even a red tunic to match his siphons, idk, give me SOMETHING im gonna tear my fucking hair out

Feyre is wondering about the IC being her friends and its like, girlie theyre barely even each others friends and youve known each other for maybe half a year to their 500 years

Feyre is describing Azriel hungrily staring at Mor's ass and it reminded me of that one bonus chapter Ive seen discussions about where he's really horny about Elain in a way thats pretty uncomfortable, and a lot of ex-Elriels say that it made them stop liking the idea of the ship because thats when they realized that SJM was just gonna mutilate both of their characters for the sake of smut, but honestly I dont think she would even need to mutilate Az that much

I could not give less of a shit about the Mor/Cassian/Azriel drama but I have to admit its kinda funny reading about Feyre speculating so much about Mor's relationships knowing shes gonna turn out to be interested in women

Mor says that Rhysand was very upset after she had sex with Cassian and beat him up as hard as he could (#incest) but she says he wasnt upset because of her virginity but because of the danger she put herself in by losing it, which is like, first of all that seems like splitting hairs, he was still upset that she lost her virginity even though that was none of his business. And second of all, I think it would actually make sense for him to have the kind of archaic sexist beliefs that would make Mor losing her virginity upsetting to him, considering he was also 17 when that happened just like Mor and Im guessing there wasnt anyone around to teach him feminism. or maybe hes so feminist he came out of the womb believing in womens rights and didnt need to be taught anything

god, the inner circle dynamics are so comically fucked up I have no idea how they can stand being around each other

Again, Im not much of a Feylin girlie but "Your hair looks... clean." >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "You look like a women again." (???? whats thag even supposed to mean)

So Rhysand is not wearing a black tunic, but he is wearing wearing a black jacket which is equally disappointing. atleast he has his tits out i guess

Rhysand was gone for 50 years and yet his best friends are not spending any time with him at their first party together since theyve been seperated, thats what i call friendship goals

Yeah, I guess its kinda sad that Rhys missed out on important holiday that meant a lot to him while undr the mountain but you know who else had to do that? Literally everyone that wasnt from the spring court

So he doesnt wanna tell his friends, who are by all accounts doing alright because theyve spent the past few decades trapped in a beautiful idyllic city, about his trauma but hes perfectly fine traumadumping on a twenty year old woman who just started to recover from her own trauma

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this bullshit where theyre getting covered in star spirits or whatever feels so joyless to me, like its not whimsical or fun to me

Okay so, Ive heard about Rhysand calling Feyre exquisite and it made me cringe just thinking about it, but it looks like theyve translated that to him calling her 'herrlich' which means the exact same thing but it sounds a lot less weird and bad. once again, thank you, Alexandra

Feyre really just said "You regret sexually assaulting me? But why?" huh

Chapter 45:

Okay, thats the end of the chapter but theres two more things that kinda annoyed me that I didnt feel the need to mention as I was reading. 1) Feyre kept going on and on aboht Rhysand being her friend, it felt so insincere, its like sjm say a post online right before she started writing this chapter that was like "in the best relationships, your partner isnt just your partner but also your best friend" and decided to put that sentiment in her book, and 2) I felt like there were so many moments towards the end of that chapter where Feyre is like "oh, ive never felt this way with anyone" and its very obviously alluding to how she didnt love Tamlin as much as she does Rhysand now, and it was just very strange to read, like Tamlin was haunting the narrative even though hes not even dead yet

Uhm. so i got really tired all of a sudden so I took a nap at this point and read some gay vampire fanfic to rejunivate myself and now Im ready for whatever happens in the next chapter

"I was a traitor. [...] Even though I oficially left Tamlin - it was only two months ago, after all. By Fae standards that was probably barely more than a day." Oh yeah, i havent been keeping track of the time thanks for reminding me that this story about immortals is moving at a breakneck pace for no goddamn reason. But also, as an author trying to write a grand long-lasting romance, why would you write this. I know Feysand are gonna get married at the end of book and now when I get to that point Im not gonna be thinking "wowwww such romance" Im gonna be thinking "damn these bozos did the fae equivalent of getting eloped in vegas after knowing each other for barely a week"

Oh, men of all ages are training at this camp? would you say some of them are. child-aged

Feyre is being all "its so cold here, im freezing in my illyrian leathers I cant imagine a child with no clothes surviving here for a single day, much less eight years" (referring to Cassian) and yet she doesnt spare a single thought to all the children who have to be at this camp as well because this is the camp that the batboys grew up in, its not like this is a different kind of camp where they dont train children

God I hate Feyre thinking about how fuckin powerful the batboys are especially because its like, Rhysand is literally their high lord, he already holds so much power over the guys running this camp we dont need a reminder that he could easily crush their minds or that his goons need more syphons to contain the totality of their power or whatever

I get that these guys are like, shitty misogynists or whatever, but I dont think Rhys throwing them out of the house they live in is some #boyboss move hes just being an asshole

Rhysand would never want to lock Feyre in a house for protection, but he does want to decapitate anyone who lays a hand on her which is soooooo much better

Rhysand keeps calling the.... "females" of this camp "girls" which implies one of two things: 1) hes talking about adult women, hes just calling them girls, which is not very feminist of our feminist king, or 2) hes talking about actual girls aka children which. thank god for our feminist king having equal-opportunity child soldiers

Its actually kind of surreal how theyre at the camp where the batboys spent their CHILDhoods and Feyre keeps talking about what it mustve been like for Cassian while the narrative is actively avoiding talking about children being at the camp at this present moment while also not outright stating "there are no kids here at this present moment"

"'[The clipping of the wings is] to ensure the safety of their women, they said.'" this reminds me of something @/kateprincessofbluewhales said in regards to Rhysand forcing illyrian women to train but not doing anything else to advance their rights, which is that the wing clipping mightve started as a way for men to help women dodge the 'draft' that seems to be mandatory for all healthy illyrians. I dont really have anything else to say about that, it just popped into my head and i thought it was interesting

Rhysand is talking about how at some of the camps, women are declared anti-marriage material if they train and how he cant do anything about that and its like, even if these women are not officially declared unmarriable or whatever, the misogynistic men that make up these camps are probably not gonna wanna marry a women who trains, so what difference does that really make

Also, he says the only thing he could do about 'laws' like that is to murder the warlords and take their children/trainees? under his wing and I guess he thinks he would have to do that for every camp that does that but honestly, I think just doing it once or twice would send a powerful enough message to discourage other warlords from being misogynistic. And he wouldnt have to raise all these children all by himself either, Im sure he could get the help of a few non-sexist men or even, gasp, some women. Like those priestesses living in that library Im sure some of the ones that have already recovered from their trauma somewhat wouldnt mind teaching some boys about the harm that misogyny does

Okay so the blood rite is called a Blutritual [blood ritual] in german which is a little confusing because a ritual is a pretty specific thing and I dont think the blood rite is that specific thing but whatever, it sounds cool enough

Ive said this before, I am not a Tamlin girlie, at best I prefer him to Rhysand, and I dont like or trust Rhysand at all, but imagine hearing that tragic story about how their families killed each other, leaving them as the only survivors and being like "I cant believe Tamlin killed Rhysands family!!" especially when its like, the only person Feyre actually knows Tamlin killed is Rhysands dad who sucked ass, its not exactly a great loss

I feel like i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things in this chapter that I couldnt write down because theyre these abstract half-thoughts, so I think I'll let those marinate until theyre full thoughts and share them with you at some later date

[paracosmicparadox]

So, I'm falling back into the FFXV kick, and I have decided that I disapprove of how little complex character development Square Enix has given the guys?? Like where is the emotional depth beyond surface-level cutscene angst?? So I took matters into my own hands and have compiled a handy little list of headcanons / expanded canons that I think make sense.

Noctis: Has clinical insomnia and frequent lucid dreams (sorta a given, but bear w me bear w me)

Feels the weight of having to take so much on from such a young age much, much more than he lets on

Loves to argue

Would've been happier if he and Luna stayed as childhood best-buds rather than betrothed fiancés (controversial, ik, but it just didn't seem like he cared that much for her romantically to me?? Like he obviously cared about her, but it seemed like a really strong penpal vibe rather than a "We're-gonna-get-married-and-be-the-next-hotshot-couple" vibe. If you disagree, coolio, I'm not gonna debate w you on this one)

Has a natural sadness to his eyes regardless of what he's feeling

Went through an anime phase (possibly still in his anime phase, idk)

Social anxiety for the win

Severe RBF

Prefers tea over coffee (black tea is best---particularly lavender earl grey)

Can play the cello (practicing tho?? Don't know her)

Writes the most beautiful poetry when The Motivation™ strikes him (usually when he's home sick and half-delirious)

Prompto: Has ADHD and clinical anxiety, but is undiagnosed and doesn't take any meds for either of them.

Is legit like SO SMART, but can never focus, so not many people take any notice

Wears contact lenses (he had glasses as a child and I refuse to believe he had some high-tech corrective surgery to eliminate the need for them when lenses are cheaper and less risky)

Doesn't drink caffeine because it makes him jittery

Doesn't drive the Regalia when the guys are around because having other people in the car distracts him from the road. Also he tends to drive like a speed demon, which worries Ignis to no end.

Sunburns insanely easily

Could legit become a hitman if he wanted to with the amount of gun-knowledge he has. It doesn't matter what firearm you put in this boy's hand---pistol, SMG, sniper, rocket launcher, you name it. He can and will hit the target every single time.

Addicted to adrenaline

Pansexual

Has a lot of self-loathing (we see a bit of this in Ep. Prompto) and talks with an online therapist about it via text whenever his lows hit him. He's making great progress in learning how to heal and how to accept himself for who he is beyond the mask he wears for others

Ignis: More than a little bit of a control freak, and works very hard not to be too overbearing or critical about his friends' misgivings

Hypochondriac

Wants to protect everyone all the time and mentally kicks himself when he doesn't get there fast enough

Is SO PROUD of Noctis's journey and felt a stronger hatred towards Ardyn than anyone else in the group for what he forced Noct to go through (he stayed up at night sick to his stomach with hollow rage and baked nonstop to take his mind off of it)

Can verbally obliterate a man, but only rarely chooses to do so bc he's classy like that

After losing his eyes, he notices so much more beauty in the world than he used to (the sound of rain on the Regalia's roof, the specific gait of each of his friends, the smell of salt on the wind in Galdin Quay, the flawless feel of one specific silk tie he has in his repertoire, etc)

His internal compass is never wrong

Regularly takes antacids for his stomach

Has the straightest teeth you've ever seen

Demiromantic

Gladio: Hates being wrong: it's his way or the highway

Actually so much smarter than the musclehead jock front he puts up

A little vain and easily jealous (this man has a Jealous Face like no other)

Thunderstorms are his favorite; his ideal place to be is at a campsite, during a storm, with a well-worn book and a mug of Irish coffee in hand

Would throw himself in front of a bus for any one of his friends

Would beat up kids for the folks he cared about in middle school and spent the time he wasn't training to be a Crownsguard sitting in detention with the most unrepentant, smug, and-I'd-do-it-again look scrawled across his face

Can make a better smoothie than anyone (except maybe Iggy)

Spotify junkie

Had a dinosaur phase as a kid and can still name random facts about them whenever the opportunity presents itself

Avid technology-hater and only has a phone to make calls and join the others in playing King's Knight since they begged him so profoundly (he's sure the thing's going to be his downfall)

Gets most of Prompto's pop culture references

[herdivineopulence]

who am I? I’m just a girl 

I am a first generation, first daughter to a Dominican woman who immigrated to the u.s in the early 90s, and the first daughter to an African American man with unhealed trauma from Brooklyn. LOL sorry but its the truth! We’ll talk about that later BUT yes, first daughter. That’s me! A 26 year old who’s doing her best at figuring this life out. I’m a virgo sun, taurus moon, & libra rising, a Venusian princess if you will <3 Im from the Bronx, but have lived in PA for most of my life. I have a younger brother, a kitty and a yorkie shitzu or chihuahua (its hard to tell xD). I’m a Lover girl at my core, Love is all I Live for. I live and die for this shit! It keeps me going, it literally gives me life. I am currently single and been single for such a long time… well technically only 5 months since my last “relationship” (at the time I’m writing this) but I don’t count that bc I literally felt nothing. Even the sex was mid LMFAOO, but I was with him bc he was the main one there really trying so I settled.. he also wasn’t everything I expected him to be, but we will definitely talk about that later too, I’ve been through a lot of heartbreaks.. its amazing that I’m still here! But i will say, i am truly blessed with platonic Love. I have such an amazing support team behind me, living and non living LOL. I have great friends, a wonderful mother, and overall a great tribe so far. But its time to expand. I need like minded people now that im entering a new phase in my life.

I Love anime, food, everything Venusian! FASHION, JEWELRY, HAIR SKIN NAILS, ROMANCE, oh the ROMANCE! PURE OPULENCE. But I still find myself not exactly where I want to be. This blog is something that has been in the works for idk how long… I made a actual blog website two years ago and only made one post and never posted again. I even had someone email me saying how they were eager for me to continue posting .. and I failed them :,(  But one thing I learned is to put myself first and be gracious and gentle with myself. I am a manifesting generator and for those who don’t know what that means, you can either look it up or stay tuned I’ll definitely put you on and teach you somethings, but long story short, I am not meant to stick to one thing, or do things that no longer excite me. So not being consistent is not a flaw but just my nature and how I function. Only when I follow my design will the things that excite me draw out the consistent energy needed to keep whatever I’m working on going longterm. Stopping and starting is normal too!

But I do know I need to be more disciplined and I really want to blog. I Love writing its my passion that I’ve recently discovered is what I absolutely Love & have since I was a preteen. I always have energy for it. I also have lots to share. As a 12H native with multiple planets there, being open and “exposing” myself is kind of hard. All my social media platforms have barely any followers. Except for twitter lol ( X ) that’s where I spend most of my time, but now its one of my goals to expand my horizons and expand my reach.I have so much to share, and I really want to jog my journey as well. The good thing is that I’m still at the beginning so to speak. I am starting over, AGAIN. Trial n Error, figuring out what I want, what works for me, what truly brings me happiness. that’s part of the journey & clearly part of my experience.

So here I am my Loves I hope this reaches the people that are meant to come across this. My goal is to build a community filled with like minded people to share my knowledge to those who really could use the information to better their lives. To learn! One thing about me I Love to learn, and I know i'll always be a student. Hopefully you can learn a few things from me, use me as an example, a role model, and your healer of hearts. Boy oh boy do i know how to heal a heart! I have so many goals, join me on my journey to accomplishing them all using all the tools we have at our disposal ; astrology, human design, witchcraft, law of attraction, health and beauty! Are you ready? HOP IN BITCH WE'RE LEVELING UP!

TTYL, BESOS ;*

~ Aurora

[snowonebutyou]

it’s in the air we’re breathing (can you taste the freedom?)

summary: when clint barton chooses to save natasha’s life instead of taking it, he ends up saving two more people as well.

notes: idk why i keep writing massive aus like that. this one i can literally blame @belovas-vest because they started it!! and it’s their fault this story won’t leave me alone and now i have outlined 17 fucking chapters for this.

but it’s a good one guys, i promise. if you choose to tag along for the ride, which i hope you do, i promise to take you on the same healing journey i plan on taking our girls. enjoy!

title’s from shania twain’s swingin’ with my eyes closed

chapter 1: new beginnings   

words: 4,071

Rating: teen and up audiences

Everything happens so fast.

Wanda can’t even remember what they are doing before they hear gunshots fired and run, thinking Hydra has finally caught up to them, only to find themselves in the middle of a fight. And then Pietro takes a hit because Wanda fails to protect him. She must have screamed because, out of nowhere, a man holding a bow with a quiver full of arrows shows up, kneeling beside them.

“I can help.”

Wanda shouldn’t trust him. She shouldn’t— doesn’t trust anyone besides Pietro, but Pietro is lying on the ground, bleeding profusely and breathing raggedly, and Wanda doesn’t know what to do. All she can think about is that she is losing the only family she has left. And she can’t go through that, not again. She won’t survive.

So she accepts the offer.

She boards a jet with her brother, the man who nearly killed him, and the woman he had been trying to kill, but ends up saving for some reason. It looks like he doesn’t understand his assignment very well, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about anything but her brother’s safety.

She needs him to be okay.

“I’m sorry,” the man—Clint, he introduces himself after he offers to help, keeps whispering, looking sorrowfully at Pietro’s prone form.

They got caught in the crossfire between him and the woman, and her powers weren’t enough to protect them. She tries so hard to hate Clint and blame him for their current predicament, but the truth is that she has no one to blame but herself. Every single fucked up thing they have gone through has been her fault.

“He is all I have,” Wanda murmurs, fingers interlaced firmly against his to make sure he is still there, still warm, still breathing. “I cannot lose him.”

“You won’t,” Clint promises, but Wanda has been on the receiving end of too many empty promises to believe him.

READ MORE ON AO3 //  ko-fi

[emachinescat]

A Year in (Book) Review: My 2024 Reading Journey 📚

#34 - The Shattered Castle by Jennifer A. Nielsen

Low Fantasy / The Ascendance Trilogy #5 / 368 pages / published in 2021 / Finished Mar. 28

One Sentence Review: An exciting conclusion to Jaron's adventures, this book sees Jaron lose everything he loves and has fought so long and hard for - Imogen especially - and even though the villains aren't the strongest in the series, it is still very satisfying to watch Jaron live up to his title once again and ascend.

Favorite Quotes (spoilers!)

"We cannot keep what we do not earn. What we have earned we cannot lose."

*

"No one begins to obtain wisdom until they admit they lack knowledge."

*

"'Your body takes beatings and rises again and again. Your mind brushes away insults like they are harmless flies.' She took my hand. 'But your heart is different. It bruises deeply and is slow to heal.'"

*

"But then I was at the base of the steps, staring up at Imogen. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. 'What happened to you?' she asked.

I smiled. 'I was nearly blown up, jumped through a waterfall, and Darius rides his horse like an old man, but I'm better now and you look beautiful. Will you marry me, Imogen?'"

*

"If you play games with a cheater, you won't win by cheating. You only win by creating new rules."

*

"Fear of a leader may be the most powerful reason to betray a leader."

My rating: 4/5

A Few More Thoughts (Spoilers):

This book, like its predecessors, is so much fun! Though I do like the original three books better, this one is still an exciting adventure, and Jaron is, as always, a phenomenal sassy narrator. Wilta and Strick are certainly not the strongest villains in the series, but the story is still very enjoyable.

It is fascinating to see Jaron lose everything he has won and fought for throughout the series - his kingdom, his people, his hope, Imogen - and even more satisfying to see him claw his way up from rock bottom and fight to regain what he lost.

I like the message of this book - that even the cleverest and most resourceful of people need help sometimes, and it is imperative to trust those you love and whom you choose to surround yourself with. This is a very hard lesson it takes Jaron five whole books to learn.

[halfmoth-halfman]

I'm trusting you when you say canary is gonna have it light from here on out but I do wonder how the 141 will like react when they find out they betrayed someone so close and loyal like the one thing they're very big on is unconditional loyalty especially to family and to find out they did the very thing that they despise I'm excited to see how they deal with it I'm also excited to see how gaz personally will because he's been loyal to the end so I can imagine him being like " wtf guys this is what you did to my bestie apologize 😕😤"

but idk something in me say's some of them probably don't see what they did as wrong like I feel like someone is gonna deflect and be like " well shit we had reason to we saw it with our eyes" like that's an excuse especially since it's like... well what did you think he was gonna do let her parade the stage like a beaten potato? Ofc he lied to you and made her seem ok! He's a liar!! You fool

And I also think price knows this and won't put with anyone treating her bad from here on out and I can only imagine how shitty he feels like yo best girl just thrown to the wolves by your own accord because you fell for the same lies she warned you about (major trust issues see a therapist bro) like I'd die from guilt

Also he said something about "finding her" like dude where the hell were you looking?? And for a long time??? You didn't think to check the few places she mentioned or where graves was?? As if she literally didn't run away because she knew he would come for her and literally told you that she couldn't be there because of that and was in danger like??!?!??!!???!!!? Also going back to that no one followed her ?? No one tracked down the car ? And saw the scene?? Like there was to many things backing up her case for everyone to just turn on her especially after all that she explained even if it was a tiny bit someone was doing overtime to make sure she looked as guilty as possible

But yeah Sorry if this was mad long but I'm literally throwing up, chewing my nails, rocking back and forth, and kicking my feet this such a juicy heart racing story 🫶🏾🤍

that's actually going to be a very big talking point in the next few chapters because family's the most important thing to them, right? it's family above all else, the money, the business, everything. and a big part of that is because price doesn't run his business through fear and manipulation like makarov and graves, he relies on trust and loyalty which makes for a stronger crew. and now, here's someone who has been unconditionally loyal to them (moreso than some of their own people) and they've not only betrayed her but outright mistreated and punished her. that's going to cause some major in-house problems esp regarding gaz who has never once doubted her.

there will be talks about both sides, because yes, from their side it can look suspicious and there's just enough evidence for them to make that leap in deduction, but i don't think anyone would excuse what's happened just because of that. i think the bigger issue would be admitting that graves was able to manipulate them enough to think canary was a traitor, esp when so many of them think they're smarter than him.

i know we've all established that canary and ghost are gonna go through it™️, but oh man price. he's gonna need to have his own healing journey just from the guilt and the blame he's (rightfully) putting on himself. like to straight up accuse canary of lying about what graves put her through while she's sitting there trying to hide the bruises from him??? i can imagine he wouldn't stand for anyone mistreating her, but i also think he's gonna have a hard time facing her.

there'll be more on that and what the 141 was doing in general during those five months in the next couple of chapters, because you're right!! it's incredibly suspicious that no one found her, that no one tracked the car, or that looking into graves wasn't the first thing they did 👀

no worries, i enjoy the long asks and all of the theories and questions!! makes me feel like kicking my feet and twirling my hair 💜

[moronic-validity]

The Shower

GUYS I'M SO FUCKING SORRY, MY BROTHER IS STAYING THE NIGHT AND WE STARTED PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THEN I STARTED PREPPING FOR TOMORROW'S BREAKFAST BC HE HAS LIKE 20 MINUTES TO EAT AND HAS TO HE UP AND AT EM AT LIKE 5 AM

Anyway, I'm gonna ptetend it's not after midnight here

Chapter 12 on my docs, so it's probably like 14? Idk. We're rolling with it

The DWU is 18+ bc a few chapters are. No warning for this chapter (i think)

I'll fix formatting later, I swear

Simon had grown more distant. 

It was one of the first things Winter had noticed since they had returned home. 

He had begun to sleep in his own room, only coming into their once shared space to shower or change clothes.

The only time he questioned Simon about it, he was met with a shrug and told he just wanted to have some time alone. 

He knew that wasn’t the full story, but he also knew that he’d tell him what was wrong when he was ready. 

Winter sat on his bed and listened to the shower run.

He was used to this by now.

He usually sat on the toilet seat and they would talk about their plans for the day, but Simon had asked for privacy, and that was something Winter could respect.

He still liked to sit nearby. 

Everyone had been vague when he asked about Simon’s injuries from his journey into the Fire Kingdom, only telling him to keep an eye on the other man. 

He felt like he was owed the information, given that he was the king, but no one would tell him anything.

He was completely in the dark.

Simon hated feeling like this, so helpless, so weak.

His injuries wouldn’t be healed in an afternoon with some beauty sleep, not like Winter’s. His would take time and proper care. 

He did his best to not let him know. 

He had started sleeping and showering alone, he wanted to make sure Winter never saw his wounds.

Which led him to this point. 

His hair was greasy and he didn’t want to think of how tangled it was. 

He had tried, early on, to shower like normal; bending over to wash his legs was painful enough to make his vision go white at the edges.

Washing his hair was the true nightmare though.

He couldn’t reach up to wash it and he had already ruled out bending over to do it. The best he could do was let the water run over it and hope for the best.

But this had gone on for long enough.

He pushed through the pain and began scrubbing his hair.

Simon felt like he was on the verge of blacking out, silently crying as he tried to work through the knots that had formed. 

He leaned back to wash the soap out of his hair and he felt the stitches along his chest begin to tear. 

He let out an almost involuntary sob and corrected his posture, now openly sobbing in the shower, all the frustration and pain pouring down the drain. 

Winter went into the bathroom without hesitating and found himself frozen to the spot.

It was the first time he had seen Simon’s body since before the Fire Kingdom. 

He didn’t know. 

Simon looked in his general direction, his vision blurred from the tears and his lack of glasses. 

He deflated. 

He opened his mouth to protest, but Winter simply took off his jacket and got in the shower with him. 

He was quiet and careful, washing the soap from Simon’s hair and beginning to condition it, meticulously working through each knot that had formed on his lover’s head. 

Simon continued to cry, relaxing into Winter’s touch. 

As he let the conditioner set, he began to wash Simon’s back and legs.

He couldn’t stop the tears from forming in his eyes. He didn’t know and he should have. His partner was trying so hard to be Atlas, but no man was made to cary the weight of the world. Not alone. 

He couldn’t figure out why Simon hadn’t told him what had happened, but at this point, he didn’t care. He just wanted to take all the pain away from him.

“Would you like me to wash your front?” The question came out as more of a strained whisper, trying to hide the pain in his voice.

Simon turned to face him and was confronted with the tear streaked face of the man he traveled across the multiverse to get back to. 

Winter looked down and began to wash his body, taking special care around his stitches.

They looked worse up close. The one that extended from the middle of his chest to just above his belly button was bleeding. 

His eyebrows knit in concern, but he said nothing.

They could talk about it later. 

He finished washing Simon’s body and had Simon turn back around so he could rinse the conditioner out of his hair.

When he was satisfied, Winter turned off the water and reached for a towel, drying Simon off with a level of care people generally only reserved for fine china. 

They were both unable to find the right words to express what was going through their heads, but Simon spoke first.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” he gingerly motioned to the growing bloodstain on the once pristine towel, “I didn’t want you to see me this weak.”

Winter’s heart caught in his throat and the tears began to stream down his face again.

“Si…” He trailed off before hugging his Simon, his partner, his other piece.

He did his best to not press on either of his wounds, and rested his head on his good shoulder.

Simon relaxed in touch and let himself cry. 

“I was so scared Simon, I thought they killed you…” Winter whispered into his shoulder, “I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you…”

He blinked a few times and let his words sink in.

He began to feel sick to his stomach that he even considered turning Winter over. 

“She…She made it sound like you only keep me around for sex and I…” Simon trailed off, unable to continue speaking. 

Winter bristled at the words, murmuring the word ‘no’ on repeat, disbelief, pain, and reassurance coating each word in equal measure. 

He carefully redressed Simon, a loose button-up and an old pair of sweatpants that were hidden in the bottom of their dresser, then walked him back to the medical wing to have his stitches looked at. 

It was only then he realized he and his clothes were soaking wet.

[barbieb0y]

forged in a bonfire.

day 4 of scrunkly week already woah

the theme is autumn! i went with both sitting by a cosy fire + cold hands, warm drinks for the prompts! i dont celebrate halloween so i feel detached from prompts related to that haha

as usual, i wrote a scenario for my selfship, uppercut (my oc, paper cut x joe reverse 1999) BUT i did add mercuria reverse 1999 into the mix bc idk i just like the (potential) dynamic between her and joe, although idk her that well (the wiki doesnt have her info either so...) and this isnt explicitly romantic but there is so-called tension. so

Paper Cut has grown accustomed to the sound of foreign yet warm laughter. The flames that occupy the bonfire in front of him could only hope to rival such warmth. But the best thing about this kind of laughter is that sometimes, it would include his own. It’d make for a great journal entry and an even greater bandage.

“Leave it to J to get Dr. Cut of all people to leave his lil’ man cave.”

Another wave of laughter ensues, this time he joins in. He can’t deny the person’s claim - J’s siren call was the straw that broke the camel’s back. But he has no regrets; even with all the unfamiliar faces and voices, he feels like he’s finally home.

“Not that hard really. The dude just needed a little push.”

J  frequently shrugs off any mention of his effort to bring Paper Cut out of his shell easily. He’s a strong believer in the efforts Paper Cut himself made to get out there. It’s just a coincidence that the biker was there for him and his journey.

“A ‘little push’ is an understatement of the century.”

Mercuria’s comment prompts another round of unashamed laughter. At this point, Paper Cut has chosen to watch this little drama about him silently, metaphorical popcorn in hand. The next scene starts with J rolling his eyes and folding his arms.

“Okay, maybe I didn’t need to visit him every single day but–”

“And the fact that you’d pretend to be hurt specifically on Thursdays.”

“Thursdays are unlucky days for me! It’s not even pretend sometimes!”

“Pfft, sometimes.”

The laughter never seems to die down. That observation can be attributed to the fact that J being the center of attention – but he almost always is the center of attention, just how he likes his social interactions to be. But the best part is that he doesn’t even have to try. Paper Cut supposes that’s just how it is when everyone in the neighborhood knows your name and your game. But in a way, Paper Cut himself also garnered such a reputation.

Paper Cut’s job is to heal paper cuts and beyond. Even if he doesn’t believe it, his fame has been the consequence of his own choices. Not charging patients cash for medical services was and will always be what makes him infamous. It’d be abnormal if it was simply free but the strange charging fee of a piece of paper for every session would’ve been enough for people to call him crazy.

You can call him a quack all you want but at the end of the day, he gets the job done – this is what Joe thinks of his work ethics. Joe was more concerned that he wasn’t taking care of his own health. After all, the doctor can’t heal if he himself is sick, right?

“We got some hot cocoa, folks! J, help me pass it around.”

One of the unfamiliar faces announces and with his best service smile (which is his usual, ‘I-love-my-friends’ smile), J gives out warm mugs full of comfort.

Paper Cut mumbles a thank you and manages a small smile for J, which is reciprocated almost immediately. Just as quickly, Mercuria has to stifle the voice of the person sitting beside her before they could make things awkward for the two. That moment was enough to make her feel like she’s thirdwheeling so there’s certainly no need to add fuel to that fire.

Everyone there knows that there’s some kind of tension between the two (or at least, almost everyone - one guy insists that they’re simply “very close friends”). They’d rather not assume but they’ve grown somewhat impatient waiting for their friendship to eventually transform into a romance. And they have to admit, the two men make good in-group gossip material.

As soon as J is done with his arduous task, he plops down next to Paper Cut with a mug of his own, which he extends towards his seatmate. Paper Cut chuckles and clinks his mug with J’s to humor him. It works, as J lets out a satisfied laugh. But J is pleasantly surprised when Paper Cut moves to imitate him but with his own other seatmate, Mercuria, instead. And she also humors him.

Before long, the air is filled with that warm, foreign laughter again as people clink their mugs affectionately. Paper Cut closes his eyes, submerging himself in an orchestra of delight.

On that night, eternal bonds were forged.

[scoobydoodean]

Man did you saw the things that happened in the first season finale of the Winchesters prequel? Jensen Ackles is insane for that

I illegally streamed it but this means I missed like a solid 15 minutes of the episode probably from laggy issues and such. (I will clicky the show and put it in a way that adds views later okay???) But like I saw most of it. Idk it was basically what I expected. Nothing pleasantly surprising but nothing like super unpleasant either. I would say the SPN finale very much unpleasantly surprised me in pretty much every way. So like. Just having your expectations met is nice? My expectations were very low admittedly—I only started watching the show out of spite for bronlies. If I had made myself believe Dean would be alive I'd be upset, but I feel like the show showed its hand? I expected him to be up to post-canon shenanigans and he was.

Bobby and Jack were a surprise. Seeing Jack again in that kind of state was the only thing that was unexpectedly hard for me actually. Like. I just find the fact that Jack ended up as god and that Amara is like subsumed by him and that Jack's personality and countenance is completely different now really disturbing because of the symbolism in all of that and how I personally tie it into Dean's storyline and themes in SPN.

As far as Dean and everything, I knew Jackles wasn't going to pretend the show didn't end how it ended, because he's said that before—that he isn't altering things that happened? This means though that the symbolism of how Dean died (which is bad) and how that deeply scars the whole story still remains, and I'm never going to be okay with that I don't think? At the same time, I do think this whole thing did heal me as a Deanfan just a bit. I think the penultimate episode was a very obvious commentary on how weird it was for Dean to be so... smiley in the spn finale, and this episode also hit those same notes. Dean felt wistful to me in this spnwin episode. It felt like he wasn't content with his life in heaven (which was the lie being sold in the SPN finale—that Dean's journey was over, and he would just be happy driving around for 30 years waiting around for Sam to show up... and that just isn't true—that isn't him. It felt so so incredibly wrong). So this finale did at least deal with that bullshit, and it feels like a commentary on Dean not being willing to hang in the towel, and he isn't willing to be done (and there's even implications that he wants to be alive or elsewhere). He's dead but he's not dead dead—he's not done, he hasn't given up fighting and clawing for his happiness.

If you recall, Dean's favorite song is a tie between Traveling Riverside Blues and Led Zepplin's Ramble On. Ramble On played at the end of the finale, and that song is about traveling and a journey in search of something—a lover, happiness, the prize. Take that as metaphorically or literally as you want—the song is about how the singer's journey isn't done.

[arjunasearth]

I've come to the realization at this point in my life that I am thankful for my connection to the men in my life and that I won't hate on them just because of one extremely toxic person that is flowing out of my life rn. I'd rather spend time with men that have developped a healthy mindset throughout their lives and who I can learn from. I know there are so many toxic men (and women) out there, I don't wanna be part of this bullshit / being involved in any of this bullshit at al. If I feel that someone is toxic, I leave. Easy as that. I don't have the patience nor the capacity to discuss with these people anymore. We will never be on the same wavelength at all, so why should I even bother? Makes no sense to me. And being toxic towards toxic men doesn't make me less toxic lol. Even worse: it attracts even more toxicity into my life ! So why should I cotinue contributing to this lol. Isn't this a form of self-sabotage in a way? I mean idk. I am not interested in ANY relationship with a man but I'm highly interested in healthy friendships with men. It makes me happy to talk to them, gives me hope after a seriously narcisstic ex-partner and also fills me with gratitude after almost completely having lost hope in men (and serious abuse). I feel like there is a big big process happening in my heart, evolving step by step. It's still very hard to handle at times (as heartbreak always is tbh) but it's going on. Forwards, not backwards. Been falling so many times and always standing up. Again and again and again. This is what it's all about. Not turning into a toxic mf because of a toxic mf. The latter is nothing but redundant stupidity imo. Evolving and healing is not about becoming bitter and toxic towards others . It's certainly NOT about becoming a cold and heartless person. NO. It's more returning to myself, to the energy of my heartcenter and to my harmonius nature, which has been used, disrupted and manipulated throughout the last years. This journey back to myself is where the healing takes place.

[unknwnxquantity]

There is no one from my past that I want back romantically. I’ve healed past all that and made peace with things thankfully. But there are ppl I miss being friends withhhh 😭 like this one girl. It’s a little messy with her bc she was one of my ex best friend’s hs gf. He introduces her to that friend group and I don’t think she liked me much at the time bc I was super close to that friend (and I was his first kiss Idek if she knows that lmao) anyways yeah we were just mutuals for years. Then ended up unfollowing each other on stuff. Which is fine, no hard feelings we weren’t close lol

Fast fwd to peak covid she hits me up out the blue. Refollows me when my ig was still public and id write my silly deep descriptions, DMs me on ig on some “I know this is random but I’ve been feeling lost lately and I just read some of your IG posts. I aligned with all that you said, my soul is calling to you and I really feel like I need you in my life” and some “it feels like every cell in my body is aligned, my ears are ringing, I really feel like I needed to hit you up. Your energy is pulling me in” And I’m like uhm…. Ms girl? What? lol. Me being who I am, a part of me is like omg she feels called to meeee and sees meeee but another part is like …😀? You are this man’s ex hitting me on some “crazy” shit. It was like a couple paragraphs of saying verbatim what I said and how she was feeling lost in life and clicked on my post and then it all started clicking. I responded back kinda vaguely and then days later she’s like hey I didn’t mean to scare you but I never felt that aligned and something so right in my life and was just so excited. And I’m like okay you got me lol let’s be friends and talk about spirituality. Bc I was also going through like a second awakening during 2020, like another huge spiritual journey. This was a phase of me just talking to new ppl on tiktok, tinder, etc, old friends, etc.

People told me not to trust her. They said don’t do it. But I’m glad I trusted her when I did. We’d talk about the most small but intricate stuff bro. From h0lly w3ird, to the stuff that starts with an A that’s depicted in monsters inc (I was going DOWN all types of dark rabbit hole conspiracies with others too during that time, it’s sad but it’s what’s happening behind the curtains)… all the stuff you can’t talk about on social media basically lol to spirituality. Deep rooted, ancient practices, rituals, astrology, medicine, holistic approaches, etc. or even random shit like how a leaf resembles human veins, and that the whole of one human represents a whole of one tree, and how it plays into a whole ecosystem of things. And how trees and humans are similar to one cell. Theres millions and billions, and yet it can be narrowed down to just one for our brains to try and comprehend the endlessness of the universe. Or like this one time I sent her a pic of the trees while I was in nature at this park I’d go to a lot during covid, that helped me heal a lot and I’d go on walks with my family and that started our little walks and talks, and for the first time ever I was close to my mom, bc of those walks. But anyways I sent her a pic and was like hey I thought of you and I sent a voice memo I think idk. But I remember her being like “I wonder what the birds are saying when they chirp.” And I was like YOOOOOO that really rocked my world. Like what are they talking about amongst each other? What other conversations have they had today? What are their day to day lives like? What is their level of consciousness? Do they realize they do the same shit everyday but that everyday is always a little bit different? A different route to fly, a different bug to eat, a different person they see at that same moment just going about their own consciousness? Do they realize the earth is dying around them? We all cross paths and yet never bat an eye to each other and not realize how fucking cool but random life is. We had a lot of talks like that. It felt like someone really got it. How mysterious and infinite life is. Infinite infinities, infinite everything it hurts my brain to think about. It’s all happening at the same time. Every timeline, every life, every fucking thing. Our death our past lives our future lives are all happening at the same time!! Are you even real? Am I the only consciousness and everyone else is a projection that was randomly set by the simulation? Why am I in this particular simulation? WHO am I really? That’s a scary theory I try not to align with that one. I need to stop my hearts beating fast.

Wait one more. Another random thing that came to mind is why do I feel pain if I bang my hand on the counter? Or a hard surface? What makes a surface hard? Why instead of pain, why don’t I feel happiness or yodel (yodel is never apart of my vocabulary idk why out of all words that was what I thought of)? Who decided that the feeling of pain is the appropriate reaction for when you bang your body part on something? What is pain? Why does emotional pain hurt more than physical? I know why, but who in the simulation made the rules like this???? Why does it rain from up above, but not from the ground up? Why does it rain period? WHO looked at the rain and said “yup let’s call this rain”? My mind always thinks like this sober bro that’s y I can’t smoke bc then I really start to see the world happening all in one moment it’s too much.

Going into my memories thinking about this is making me feel a little weird. Like I should leave her in the past. Which I am! But I’m always like no it’s okay let’s go through these weird feelings i didn’t need to bring up and explore it even if it makes you feel weird for the next couple hours or days. Just to revisit them.. I’m allowed to reflect.

Back to the original plot of the story, I had to cut her out my life tho bc she betrayed my trust. We started to like each other a little but she was in DR with her grandma for the summer. We’d talk almost everyday til she got back and we were suppose to meet up then she stopped responding for a bit. Something was off and she didn’t admit to it at first. Til she randomly tells me like hey.. I didn’t know how to tell you this but I moved in with my ex bf bc my family didn’t wanna take me back in (which is why she went to her grandmas in the first place). I felt so fucking betrayed. I stopped talking to her and she would text me hoping to forgive her and that she really missed me. I already knew she wasn’t the most trustworthy person to begin with, when I learned the tea as to why ex best friend and her broke up. I can’t really go into too many details, it was something she did, but she never told me herself so idk. lol but yeah. Even months after that, I accepted her apology bc it wasn’t really that deep in retrospect. But then I had to cut her off bc she said something while I was in my relationship about having a dream about me and we made out…. And once my gf found out about that bc ofc that’s gonna have to come up. There was other little things too that happened with her where my gf was like no she cannot be in your life if we’re in this relationship bc that’s disrespectful and she’s crossed boundaries. Which I agree. I cut her off out the blue tho, even after we had a convo about us being on good terms. It sucks but sometimes you gotta do what’s right to protect your relationships energy. She even re requested to follow me on IG over a year ago tho and that’s just a bit messy. Messy girl. That right there proves she does not take loyalty in relationships seriously. But is that unfair to say? She’s in one tho with a man traveling living her best life. Hope she’s doing good. Okay edit……. I found out she’s pregnant?? What is life. Congrats tho fr

Idk what the point of this was. I was feeling nostalgic this morning. I’m slowly learning that just bc you miss someone doesn’t mean they need to be in your life. Past me would be like BUT BUT WHY, WHY CANT PPL JUST GIVE INTO THEIR EMOTIONS :( But now I’m like I get it. Logically sometimes things are left better untouched. It’s a balance of knowing when and when not to do something even if you really want to. And even if the good intention is there, life’s about reading the room and trusting the universe. Not trying to bring things back to life when it’s better left untouched or at least untouched in this moment. Maybe it’s done for the rest of your life, or maybe just for this period of time in your human experience. It’s like when the media makes more and more sequels of a movie that was better off with just the one movie. Like Toy Story 3 and 4 wasn’t necessary. It was cute. But it tarnishes a little the image of how beautiful Toy Story 1 and 2 were. Or like jersey shore family vacation, like y’all need to dead that already. Again, it’s all about reading the room. You can’t just give into your impulses. That’s a main struggle I have too. So I’m trying to become more disciplined. That’s part of what life’s about (s/o to my Virgo north node🤪🥲).