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free-pool-trash · 4 years ago

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folklore - isaac lahey {5/?}

hey! this part is honestly mostly angst? like i think the start of it is ok but the rest is angsty as hell, because pre-bite isaac <333

mostly isaac/reader in this chapter and a little Derek towards the end, also peter but mans can’t talk yet so idk if he counts?

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!! reblogs and comments are so appreciated <3

word count: 4k

warnings: blood, sad thoughts, reader being sad, isaac being sad, mentions of abuse, swearing

FOLKLORE MASTERLIST

Taglist: @makeusfreefromthisfandom, @cece-lives-here, @chocolate-raspberries, @belsandthings, @dancing-tacos-23, @truly-dionysus, @britty443, @tanyaherondale, @furiouspockettoad, @yunsh-17, @random-thoughts-003, @gloomybrieyxb, @futuristicslimemongerbanana, @linkpk88, @big-galaxy-chaos, @im-a-stranger-thing, @riaisnotcool let me know if you’d like to be added <3

The lights in his room were dim as they always were when you walked in. It’d been nearly two weeks since you’d last visited Peter, between becoming a vampire and trying not to get in a fist fight with Derek every five minutes you hadn’t had the time or energy to visit your favourite Hale.

When your eyes fell on him a strange feeling settled over your chest, you couldn’t quite put your finger on the sensation but if you had to describe it in one word; unsettling. It didn’t deter you from sitting in front of the man the feeling was coming from, though. If you were trapped in your own body you’d probably feel a little unsettled too.

Not wanting to waste anymore time you sat down in your usual seat across from Peter, shaking the feeling off as best you could before giving him a pleased smile, “Long time no see. I’ve got so much to tell you…” You trailed off, shaking your head when you caught yourself waiting for him to reply.

“First of all I got attacked by a werewolf which sucked and now I’m a vampire which, coincidentally, also requires a lot of sucking.” Silence.

“And I made some new friends, which is cool- Isaac got a little jealous but it’s fine, I handled it. I feel bad keeping him in the dark about all of this but I just want to keep him safe y’know?” Of course you received no answer, opting to continue filling Peter in despite his usual lack of response.

“Your nephew has been driving me crazy, by the way.” You informed him, letting out a grunt at the thought of how annoying Derek had been over the last few days, “He’s got this tough guy thing going on, I think it’s just to psych Scott out honestly, which is fine! But it’s the fact that he’s keeping it up with me as if I haven’t known him for seventeen years!”

If Peter had control over his body you knew he would’ve laughed at your annoyance towards his nephew, he always had. Whenever Derek teased you growing up, it was always Peter that you’d go running to.

“Uncle Peter!” The man sighed at the sound of your shrill voice, closing the book he’d been reading out on the porch as you ran up to him with an angry pout on your face.

“What’s up, kiddo?” He asked, opening his arms as you threw yourself into them. You let out a puff of air, settling yourself on Peter’s knee as he sat on the porch steps. “Derek said that because I’m only six I can’t play basketball with him and his friends!” You whined.

Peter only scoffed, his arms pulling you close as he raised an eyebrow, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. They’re idiots, each and every one of them.”

There was always something about uncle Peter, he had a certain tone of voice that made anything he spoke sound like gospel. If Peter said it, you believed it. That was just how it was, thinking about it now you figured that your attachment and high level of trust in Peter probably had something to do with the fact that he’d practically initiated you into his pack when you were so young. Truth be told, he was the hardest loss of the Hale’s for you to come to terms with because even though he hadn’t died he’d still been lost.

You twiddled with your fingers as your thoughts began to wander, getting the hang of heightened emotions wasn’t so easy now that you were sat in front of Peter, or what was left of him. You hadn’t noticed the tears that had built up in your eyes until they began to sneak down your cheeks, slipping down your chin and coating your neck with their salty stream.

All you could do was imagine that he was more than an empty shell, that he was himself and listening intently, that he was just waiting for you to finish before he offered his sage advice.

“I really wish you could tell me how to handle all of this.” You sniffled out, pressure in your chest growing as, for once, it was the weight of your own emotions weighing it down.

Since being turned you hadn’t gotten a chance to stop and breathe or really even think about what was happening to you, living in a constant state of confusion, fear and loss.

“I just feel… so lonely that I can hardly breathe sometimes-“ Your breath hitching stopped your confession in its tracks while your tears continued to fall freely down your face, there was no point in trying to wipe them away- you’d broken the dam.

Your watering eyes focused on the ceiling as you poured your heart out to the man who was essentially your second father, despite the fact he was more or less completely unresponsive you still couldn’t bring yourself to meet his empty gaze.

“Nobody knows what I am, really. And it’s like I’m all on my own and nobody knows how to help me or- or anything!” Eventually you met his eyes and it was then that your feeling of sorrow grew considerably bigger, the pang in your heart sinking all the way down to the pit of your stomach as a new layer of tears replaced the ones that had just fallen down your cheeks.

“I’ve upset you.” You stated, heart racing at the fact you’d managed to upset Peter Hale himself.

Quickly you wiped your tears away, your face was still wet as you took a deep breath, shaking away the feeling that was eating you up. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be crying I just- I really need someone to talk to, you know? Usually I’d go and rant to Isaac but I can’t tell him anything and it’s killing me but everyone told me not to and I also told myself not to… it’s a mess. I’m just so lost.”

Peter, as usual remained quiet, but there was something in his eyes- it was quick and barely there but you’d seen it. They’d flashed red.

After you composed yourself, you left Peter’s room and made your way to school, you’d woken up early to visit Peter.

As soon as you entered the building your feet moved quickly towards your locker, you sorted your books out as fast as you could before making your way to Isaac’s locker. Your meeting with Peter had shaken you up and honestly, in the moment, you just needed your best friend.

As usual when you arrived by Isaac’s side you alerted him by gently tugging on his sleeve, you didn’t know why but he was extremely nervous, to the point where you felt your own stomach beginning to turn. Even though you’d sought him out for your own comfort you discarded that plan as soon as you met his eyes, he needed to be comforted more than you did right now.

“What’s wrong?” You immediately blurted out, grabbing his free hand that hung by his side unlike the other that held his locker door open, knuckles turning white from how tightly he clung to the metal door.

Isaac only shook his head, he gave you the smile that he always gave you, the one that screamed “please don’t worry about me” but you knew better than to believe that smile because as gorgeous as it is, it’s fake.

“I’m okay, don’t worry.” He squeezed your hand in an effort to deter you, but yet again, you knew better.

Letting your eyes roll, you furrowed your brows, “Seriously, tell me what’s bothering you.” You demand not missing the defeated look that fell on his face when he hung his head, brown curls falling over his eyes, “Nothing, (Y/n). Just the parent teacher conferences are happening tonight…” He trailed off as he shuffled his feet.

The realization of why he was so nervous about it hit you like a ton of bricks and you didn’t care who was watching when you threw your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into you with a sigh. “How is it gonna go?” You asked, already knowing the answer would be: not well.

Isaac’s arms held you against him tightly, stabilizing you as you had to stand on your tiptoes to get a good grip around his shoulders, ever since he’d had his growth spurt when you were both thirteen if you wanted to hug him properly you’d always need to get on your tiptoes. He wouldn’t lie though, he thought it was the cutest thing.

“I’ve got a C minus in Chem.” He muttered against your neck, tightening his grip on you for dear life, you both knew Mr Lahey wouldn’t be pleased.

With a little grin, in an attempt to lighten the mood you pulled your head back to look your best friend in the eyes, “Should we dip? Run away? Move to France?” The question was made with humor but you were really considering the thought of just dragging him out of the school’s double doors and flying away to somewhere sunny where the pair of you wouldn’t have to deal with any of the shit you have to deal with in Beacon Hills.

Isaac gave you a sad smile, connecting his lips to your forehead quickly with rosy cheeks before disconnecting from you, “I think that would probably make things worse.”

Before you could respond Isaac shut his locker and spoke again, “Anyway, what had you so upset a few minutes ago?”

Deciding that today wasn’t the best day to confide in him you simply offered him a sad smile and weak explanation.

“Just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Wanted a hug.” Isaac let out an airy laugh, tilting his head to the side with a smile.

He beckoned you in for a side hug, “Get in here.” Immediately you obliged, attaching yourself to the boy’s side as the pair of you walked towards your first class of the day.

All you hoped was that his anxiety didn’t get the better of him today or later on when his father confronted him, so, as any good friend with supernatural abilities would, before you parted ways you made sure to transfer some much needed relaxation onto the boy who was positively teeming with fear. For now, it was all you could do for him without exposing yourself, you prayed it was enough.

As the day drew on your mind drifted from your conversation with Peter to your conversation with Isaac constantly. Understandably. You needed to get on top of your heightened emotions and you needed to do it fast, because to put it simply; you were drowning.

But like you mentioned to Peter, nobody knew anything about anything, not even Deaton could tell you how to gain control or even tell you the full extent of your capabilities. The loneliness was what hit the most. It was that empty, distant, ever-sinking feeling that was slowly but surely swallowing you whole. Scott had Derek, not to mention Stiles, to help him figure out everything he needed to know, an experienced wolf and a loyal best friend to walk him through everything, to support him, to keep him grounded, to tell him the dos and don’ts of being a wolf.

What did you have? An unwavering loyalty to a member of a pack who was barely even alive? Half baked theories from books of lore that your parents managed to dig up from some dusty corner of the attic? Derek who spent all of his time focused on Scott despite a member of his own pack being in obvious distress? A best friend you can’t confide in because he’s just as broken as you are? It didn’t seem fair.

The bite turned you to a vampire instead of a wolf, every night you wondered why you’d taken this form when seemingly nobody else had ever been turned by wolf bite, the conclusion you’d come to was that it was just some sick karmic joke. A test of endurance that you weren’t sure if you were going to pass. The universe spotted you- hand picked you as it’s favourite love-sick, hopeless romantic with a heart too big for her body and with a soul that felt emotions as vast and deep as the ocean. It chose you, but the gag was you never wanted it to be you. For once, you wished someone else had won the prize that felt more like a curse.

It was all too much. You felt too deeply. Every emotion consumed you, every sound vibrated like bass from a speaker, every touch sparked like static and every beating heart made you hungry. But every time you even so much as pondered simply giving in to the feelings, of letting go of that rope that seemed to be holding your empathy close and letting it fall away, every time you entertained those thoughts that voice, from the first night, would ring through your skull and echo until you agreed to the words being spoken by the oh so familiar voice. Don’t let it kill you.

Scott had been nowhere to be seen all day, nor had Allison, it was only when you’d spotted Stiles sitting alone at lunch that you’d realized that the wolf and his girlfriend probably ditched.

The final bell eventually signaled the end of the school day, solemnly you walked alongside Isaac towards the doors of the school, stomach twisting with anxiety knowing that the next time you’d be seeing him he’d more than likely be barring a new bruise or emotional scar.

“Can I drive you home?” You asked, hoping he’d say yes but understanding when he shook his head no, “I cycled here, I’ll take my bike. Thank you though.”

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, looking at him with worry clear on your face, it was all you could focus on and you were half sure he could feel it too, your efforts of masking it failing.

Isaac could feel the worry seeping off you, but even before you’d turned he always had a knack from knowing when something was on your mind. He knew all your tells, when you were worrying about something you’d bite your lip and furrow your eyebrows, when you were upset you’d wring your hands together or play with your fingers, he knew how you were feeling whenever you were feeling it purely because of the mannerisms you used when you were around him. It’s how he knew that you’ve been hiding something from him since you’d been attacked, the boy didn’t know what it was but he saw it weighing you down, he was determined to get to the bottom of it so he could be there for you. He let out a heavy sigh when he realized in the moment that the roles were reversed and with the way you gazed at him he knew you wanted to be there for him, like you always were.

“I’m gonna be okay, nothing that hasn’t happened before.” He finally spoke in an attempt to reassure you that there was nothing to worry about but his statement only served to upset you more and he silently cursed himself as he watched the corners of your lips sink downward. “It shouldn’t happen ever.” You told him softly, trying your very best to keep your composure when you heard your voice crack.

Glancing around quickly, Isaac grabbed your wrist and tugged you towards your car, knowing how much you hated getting upset in front of people he took the initiative to carry on the conversation in the confines of your car away from the rest of the prying students.

Once you were both situated in the front seats, Isaac spoke up, “I know that you hate seeing me hurt, I know it shouldn’t be like this but it is. I’ll survive, you need to stop worrying about me so much, (N/n).”

“You don’t deserve this.” You muttered, sorrow dripping from each word.

“(Y/n)-“

“No Isaac! You don’t deserve to be treated like this! Every time I see you hurt it makes me so fucking angry because when you tell me what happened you say it as though you had it coming! But you never do, you never have it coming!” The words left your mouth in a high pitched string of cries as Isaac simply lowered his gaze to his lap, hating how your voice shook in agony for him.

With every word you spoke you became more and more worked up, tears trickling down your face freely now that all the cars in the parking lot were more or less gone. “And every single time I wish I could do more for you- I wish that I could make you see what I see.” Your confession was fragile, the words barely audible as they passed your lips.

Isaac lifted his head, his own eyes welling up, “You have no idea how much you do for me so don’t think like that.” He demanded, his tone far more assertive than you’d ever known it to be.

His hand met your face, gently but quickly, his palm cupping your cheek while his thumb brushed away your tears. For a second, you closed your eyes, imagining the feeling of his hand cupping your cheek happening under better circumstances before reconnecting your eyes with his.

“I’m gonna go home.” He told you, sad smile on his lips as you shook your head, gripping the wrist of the hand he still had placed on your cheek desperately. “Stay.”

“I’ll come over to yours tonight ok? But you have to let me leave.” When you didn’t move, he sighed and pulled his hand away from you himself, trying not to wince at the hurt look on your face.

Your best friend opened the car door and stepped out, leaning in with an arm resting against the top of the door with a look on his face that you couldn’t pinpoint, that feeling had returned to your chest though, the light and flowy one. “Love you, kid.” His lips formed a cheeky grin when the nickname caused you to smile, he hadn’t rubbed the fact he was two months older than you in your face recently, you should’ve seen it coming. Finally allowing yourself to give him a weak smile you gave him an equally as weak, but still meaningful, “Love you too, idiot.” Before he shut the car door and made his way towards his bike.

To put the cherry on top of an already stressful day when you got home Derek was waiting at your dining table expectantly. The first words leaving his mouth being, “Where’s Scott?”

You rolled your eyes at him, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a blood bag out of your fridge, Stiles had been sweet enough to fill some bags for you since you were both still trying to work out the whole euphoric feeding situation, feeding on Stiles on a school night usually meant Stiles being completely away with the fairies the next morning and obviously you needed to feed during the week. Blood wasn’t as tasty cold but as weird as it was to admit, it still slapped.

Taking a sip from the small straw sticking out of the bag you raised an eyebrow at the wolf in front of you, “I dunno, Derek. Where’s my hello?”

“This is serious.” He growled, “So am I.” You rebutted, taking another sip as the man grew more irritable.

He didn’t answer, only growled at you, he was probably hoping you’d buy into his ridiculous power play. You didn’t, obviously.

Nonchalantly, you lifted yourself up onto the counter of the kitchen island, facing Derek and sipping your blood happily.

“Growl at me all you want, D. Scott might buy into your big bad wolf act but I remember when you used to watch Barbie movies with me every single day.” You told him matter of factly, “Things are different now. Scott needs my help.” At his statement your carefree demeanor faltered. You needed his help, but not once since you’d been bitten had the man you considered a brother offered you even a morsel of support but yet here he was in your home, asking for a beta he barely knows.

“If Scott was around today would you have come to see me?” You asked him, keeping your voice as steady as you could.

Derek shook his head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “No, because I’m looking for Scott.”

Slowly you nodded your head, allowing his words to sink in. Today had been emotionally draining, sure, but you couldn’t find the strength within yourself to leave this alone.

“So where exactly am I on your supernatural list of priorities? Or am I even on it at all?” The question was harsher than you intended but Derek had a fairly hard head, if you wanted to get a point across you sometimes had to be a little less than gentle with the delivery.

The wolf groaned, head falling back in exhaustion, “Can we not do this right now?”

Slapping the now empty blood bag down beside you and crossing your arms, you glared, “Answer my question.”

He gave you a hard look, standing up from his seat in what you assumed was an attempt to intimidate you, “I’ll admit you’re not my top priority right now, alright? Scott needs me, you’ll be fine.” A humorless laugh left your lips as you jumped down from the counter, squaring up to the taller man before you with absolutely no fear.

“Are you sure about that, D? Cuz last time I checked, Scott has Allison and Stiles and Deaton and you telling him exactly what to do and when to do it. I have no one.” Derek bit his tongue, his jaw clenched and lips pursed before he gave you a response, “He needs all the help he can get. Your abilities aren’t as difficult to get the hang of as his are.”

“Oh yeah?” It was a challenge, not only had he managed to piss you off and upset you at the same time, he’d also managed to erase the pain of your own transition in favour of defending Scott.

Derek sighed, the voice in his head telling him to step down when he noticed your fists clenched tightly into balls against your side, “Look (Y/n)-“ He started before a gasp ripped from his throat when you arm gripped his.

The anger, the fear, the pain, the loneliness, the confusion, the weight that came from feeling everything all at once, you made him feel it all, not releasing your tight grip on his bicep until he’d looked down at you with tears glazing his eyes.

Roughly, you ripped you hand from his arm, purple eyes glowing as you stood chest to chest with him, “Maybe if you bothered to check up on me you’d know that my shift wasn’t easy, I don’t have the hang of my abilities and every single morning I wake up and think about how much easier my life would be if I just let them destroy me.” You were seething, Derek’s face was painted in shock as he stood at a loss for words.

“But hey! By all means go help Scott. What’s pack loyalty anyway?” Your words were seeped in venom and as soon as they left your mouth you took advantage of your enhanced speed, running from the room only leaving a gust of wind and an emotionally overwhelmed Derek in your wake.

#isaac lahey x reader #isaac lahey #teen wolf x reader #derek hale x reader #peter hale x reader #folklore i.l

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jedimasteramell · 5 years ago

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haunted (greyscale heart)

Flystep // Marshal Harbinger AU // Very Not SFW

For @smuteczekbiczo and @technologicalnoiz because Im in way too deep with Jed/Danny. Uhh Idk, it was an excuse for angst and smut, 2.5K words.

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The embers hissed at the waters contact. White-grey smoke overtaking the cloying black as the flames sputtered for their last raging grasp at life, turned to thick, ashy sludge, the firefighters finally subduing the charred remains of what used to be an apartment building. So many lives upturned, so many possessions lost and lives of the unfortunates just the same, both now nothing but smoke rising into the Los Diablos sky. Yet as the rest of the team escorted a broken and defeated Pyre away from his wreckage, Marshal Harbinger’s mind was years away, back to the memories of a younger man and softer person, staring at the ashes of another ruined building.

Funny how fires were as renewing as they were destructive.

The incessant click of cameras and drone of voices indicated the arrival of reporters on the scene. The Public Privacy Law may have prevented photos of the victorious heroes and humiliated villain, but they still lapped up the images of destruction, eager to twist the loss of lives to garner whichever opinion they wanted. Jackals and ungratefuls the lot of them.

“Marshal Harbinger, Marshal!” The voice is from one or all of them, a swell at the LDPD lines trying to break through for the newest scoop. With difficulty he tore his gaze from the slurry of smoke and charred slag to the unruly group of journalists and TV correspondents. Camera flashes blocked the faces of the crowd, not that he cared to recognize them beyond being human. His face fixed itself into less of a scowl to something more appropriate for television. After all these years, they still loved their golden flyer, conveniently forgetting that angels had always been more Harbingers than Heralds.

He held up two fingers to silence the crowd, and almost like mind control, the clamoring stilled. “The situation has been contained, the culprit in custody.”

Despite his move to turn away, that opened up the floodgates for questions.

“Is it true Pyre is behind the recent arsons?”

“How do you rate the work of your new team?”

“Are the Ranger’s working on preventing this from happening again?”

Harbinger started. “That’ll be all-”

“A lot of lives were lost today, would you have handled it any better back when you were Herald?”

The question gives him pause, a jerk to his navel from the ring of his old name. Harbinger scanned the crowd, hard gaze landing on a man with warm brown hair, green eyes, and a cocky smile that was awful and familiar all at once at once; recognition like a punch to the gut. Jed. He mouthed the name he hadn’t dared say aloud on years. It couldn't possibly be an yet-

He blinked and the ghost disappeared, leaving an eager but confused reporter in its place, recorder outstretched waiting for the answer. The man looked nothing like the longed-for haunt of his imagination. This was why he never looked at a crowd to long, he’d always see him there even after all this time. He could almost see Jed shake his head and narrow his eyes that way he did when his better moods caught Herald off guard, turning and tossing up his hand in goodbye. Funny thing about fires… The smoke must be getting to him.

“Marshal…? Sir?” They still hung on the silence, waiting for an answer. “Would you have acted any different?”

Stern and stony as the blacked concrete behind him, Harbinger fixed the assembled with a long, impenetrable gaze. “No.”

****

The stench of smoke followed him home, clinging to his uniform, his hair, his heart, greasy and dark; a slow and progressing cancer through his veins and the worn pieces of memories, rank and debilitating.

Even after he stripped himself of his suit, leaving the midnight navy mesh a shedded second skin on the floor, the scent clung to him, trailing him to the shower, cold tile underfoot. When was the last time he floated? The thought crossed his mind, impassive and without true concern. Flying was in his blood, the fight to be free an inescapable part of his nature now, yet for the longest time he’d been grounded. Years now, since the first fire that still smoked from the cracks in the man he’d been.

Daniel surveyed the person who wore his face the mirror. Harbinger had a harshness to him, lines angled like the charcoal faces in his old sketchbooks. Anger, disappointment, loss... heartbreak, scored and scarred him older than he was. He used to be scared of who he was becoming, but perhaps Harbinger had simply been in him the whole time.

A darker side, another facet, what you turn into to survive…

He has to tear his eyes away before the reflection shows the hard blue slipping into furious green. His heart twinged with an old pain, an understanding too little too late.

Everything they had long since up in smoke.

His hands left ashey prints on the pristine sink, he still smelled the fire on him, still ached from the scars, earned and given. Fingertips trailed to the brand of teeth on his thigh, sending a shiver down his spine. Daniel dug his nails against the scars, the pain a relieving rush to the against the deadened experience of his new normal. He felt himself twitch, and he swore under his breath, voice raw and unfamiliar from inhaling the smoke. He didn’t dare face the scowling shame in the mirror. Fuck, he needed a shower.

Scalding water and scented soap stripped away the grime and the stench of the smoke that clung to his skin and his hair. He pressed his hands to gleaming walls, spray running rivulets down his neck and chest. It wasn't much for his mind to wander. A toothy grin, the way he'd laughed at the crown of suds, fiery eyes pulled back from those distant futures they stared to. A kiss, then another, teeth at his throat, a knee shifted between his thighs, the gasp at the cold tile at his back-

Daniel's eyes shot open, the kiss of cold real having backed himself up against the shower wall. The flush on his skin had little to do with the hot spray and entirely with his growing hard on.

Allowing himself the gift of a few heavy-handed palms, he focused on the uncomfortable coolness of the tile to keep from slipping back in the memory, and in the shower itself. He dragged at his hardness, biting his lip to stifle the sounds despite not having anyone else in the apartment. An intrusive thought broke through, husky and amused. *Heh, floating really made this a whole lot safer.*

He cursed his memory, even as he jumped in his hand. Now he was just wasting water, giving in to the inevitable. A moan stirred from his lips, wet with steam and flushed from biting them, his hand moved in practices pulls, rough, harder than he needed to be, just to get it done and get on with his night- *Not here.* A little voice interrupted, trickling in from shadowed corners of the ceiling and the dark recesses of his mind. *You know the beds a better bet.*

“Shut it.” Harbinger growled at the ghost, though he stilled his hand regardless at the suggestion, a blunt nail across his slit that made him hiss and bite into his lower lip. He should ignore the suggestion, finish himself before the hot water ran out, not give into the cloying memories that clung to him no matter how hard he scrubbed.

The bed it was.

While the mattress had changed, the size had not, yet the bed felt bigger sleeping in it alone. Dan laid back, tried to relax against the pillows, shut his eyes and think about anyone, anything, but Jed. His damn hair stuck uncomfortably to the back of his neck a distraction that persisted through the several uneventful minutes of heavy-handed pumps and his body’s refusal to climax. With a frustrated huff, he stared up at the ceiling.

Empty. He was empty. Hollow, used up, unfulfilled. At least the physical need he could satisfy tonight.

In the din his fingers fumbled for the bed stand drawer, finding the small bottle and then his toy, one used more oft than the other. He wrapped his mouth around the now-tasteless silicone needing both hands to unscrew the cap on the lube. His tongue traced the familiar nubs on the head of his toy, the semi-soft purple cock lacking all the fun textures and tastes that he'd come to enjoy with a real dick. But it didn't have to be human, it just had to get him off, and he groaned around it all the same as the first of his lube-slicked fingers teased into himself.

He sighed around the toy, closing his eyes to enjoy the sensation. One finger wasn't nearly enough, and Dan was forced to shift to his side, spreading his legs further for the second to join. He tried and failed not to recall how this felt with a partner, the anticipation, the want for them to tease deep enough to stroke his spot and relieve him of everything but the moment they were sharing. He thought of freckles and scars, of jokes about tying him down to not float away. A third finger flexed him wide in time to his hand once more on his erection. 'Just fill me.' He whined in his mind, though no one could hear, and the embarrassment of his need flushed his cheeks as much as his cock. He removed his fingers with a further keen, loathing the return of the emptiness even as he relished what was to come, spit dripping from his lips around his toy. This'd be easier on his knees.

It was a slow shift, reaching underneath himself to work the toy. He ground the sheets between his teeth, face framed in fallen hair, another layer to hide the subtle shame. His hand slipped, slick from the lube, forcing the tip against his prostate and just for a moment he could remember the calloused hands in perfect imprint, warm breath and that huff that always hid the laugh tingling the hair on the back of his neck.

*I like you like this Dan.*

It’s only after he groaned that Daniel realized he had mimed the words himself, not stirred them from memory. He flushed with a kind of shame. Was this where he’d fallen to? The man he’d become, empty, waiting, wanting? The toy pressed against his prostate again and chased away that line of thought. He went back to biting his sheets, reacclimating himself to the fullness, moaning unrestrained when he finally felt it slide fully into place.

*That’s it, that’s good, fuck you're still gorgeous.* The voice in his mind crooned, urging him on.

He wrapped his free hand back around his erection striking up an unsteady rhythm working the toy in counter to his motions. Daniel had to shift again for better access, to keep himself from sliding. His shoulders strained and hurt from the angle he made them work, groaning into the mattress as he fought for a much needed release. It wasn’t enough, and he had to work himself faster, knowing all too well he’d hurt tomorrow, but he didn’t care, in that moment the hand on his cock wasn't his own, the piece stretching him wasn’t a toy, and he was still young enough to float thanks to the heady excitement that pooled below his stomach, back when all these sensations were new.

His breathing came in heavier gasps, muffled by the mattress as he spat out the sheets. He tilted his head, looking along his long-since scarred chest to his leaking cock and the hand pumping it. Daniel flicked a nail against his head and he then bucked his hips into his fist, surrendering himself fully to his memories. Hot hands, hotter mouths, the taste of sweat and skin and orgasm, freckles, scars, new positions, new hopes, new love.

“I’m gunna-” He rasped, proclamation interrupted by a fresh moan. He wouldn’t last, he never did like this, burying his flushed features back in the sheets.

*Don’t hide your face, sunshine. I want to see you.*

“Jed.” He whined, loudly, and that was enough, coming across his hand and onto his sheets in the final release of a body wound far too tense. He bit his lip, holding his breath to savor every final shiver, the warm rush of post orgasm, and had he focused more he might have sworn he imagined a soft laughter slipping away as his body unwound.

As Daniel lay there spent for several long minutes, listening to the settling of his heart and evening of his breath, sweat cooling and his skin clammy, he finally realized he no longer heard the voice from his memories, the whispers of sweet nothing had faded into the silent corners in the shadowed bedroom. He grunted removing the toy, thighs trembling at the sudden emptiness and limp cock responding with a half-hearted twitch. Tired fingers fumbled for the towel to wipe himself down and with an effort he heaved his tired body through the greys of his room in search of fresh laundry.

Maybe tomorrow it’d be easier, back to the hum-drum of playing Marshal for Los Diablos, back to staring at the featureless faces that would leave or vanish or warp until they were as jaded as his was. Maybe tomorrow he’d stop being haunted by a long list of regrets and metaphorical basket full of too-little-to-late’s.

Harbinger crawled back into his bed, shoving aside the soiled sheet, and staring up into darkness. For a moment he yearned for the rough voice, the ghostly kisses, and could almost remember what it was like to feel his heart floating when those lovely, lost, eyes settled on him and not the what-ifs over his shoulder.

But like ash in the wind, the memory blew away, sending Daniel into a deep and blessedly dreamless sleep.

------

A shade of a man walked through an endless forest. The black trunks around him immovable as soldiers standing at attention, heads turned towards the near-starless sky. He didn’t glance up at the inky twilight, held no lamp for light, footsteps making no sounds against the soft debris of leaves and needles that carpeted the wood.

He didn’t need a map, spoke no words, legs taking him on a familiar trail visible to no one, weaving deeper and deeper into a clearing in the center of the muted, elegiac weald. The grasses rippled with an unheard wind and the empty cage at the far edge had long since given way to nature’s reclaim.It was only here that he finally looked up, the two paired stars overhead the only bit of light casting the world into greyscale instead of pitch. His smoke-made expression was inscrutable, the line that would have served for his mouth unmoving.

At last something seemed to confirm with him, some unknown message from the stars and the figure shook his head. He turned and paused at the edge of the clearing, for a heartbeat, or maybe an eternity, but with no sign or sound to keep him, he stepped out of the pale glow, and was swallowed up once more by the darkness.

#flystep #n////// s/////// f/////// w/////#others ocs #fallen hero #marshal harbinger au #My writing

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sumeshi-t · 6 years ago

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untitled

Notes: this was for @writinginstability‘s 500 and 1k writing challenge (yep im that anon. and for the 1k wc i’m sorry i forgot to send in an ask about it). uuughghhhh idk how i feel about this i’m hella dumb at writing, hence why it is titled this way; and this was my fourth try at writing the story but that’s it. leaving this crap out here so yeah. :----) **also i edited it because i realized i left something out??? like seriously all I had to do was copy and paste this from word i can’t believe??? i’m so ashamed pls forgive me

Pairing: deviant!Connor x reader

Word count: 2671

Prompt: Bliss (from the 500wc) | “I guess this is all I have left of you.” (from the 1kwc)

Today was a special day... at least, for Connor.

A certain RK800 began with slow, calculated steps up the porch, each piece of wood creaking loudly beneath every step he took. Somehow, deep inside he still recognized this emotion and associated it with fear and anxiety; what he was about to do would not only surprise you but more so, himself.

But he couldn't help it; couldn't help falling for you. You treated him differently... in a good way, in the best way, that he still thinks he never really deserved it.

Soon after Connor became a deviant, you were kind enough to offer him a place to stay in, since Hank was acting like a spoiled kid, refusing to share his house, followed by a lame excuse saying that he didn't want to babysit a plastic cop. (Though everybody knew that if Connor, or basically anyone else insisted, their situation would have been the other way around).

He finds himself smiling softly, a small and faint, "I'm home," escaping through his lips. Connor raised a hand to rest it on the door knob to check if it were locked. Lucky for him, it seems you still weren't home.

And no, he did not jump in through the windows because you gave him his own keys.

Connor picks up on the post-it note that you left on the wall as he entered, that you were "getting some paint stuff from Markus because he lost a bet".

Sure, Connor never stopped working for the DPD, but he was also a key into aiding Jericho's success. Somehow, you asked to tag alongside Connor when they had to discuss some matters, so you got to meet and be acquainted with its leader. It just turned out that he used to be the Carl Manfred's android. You were a fan of the man's artworks, and somehow you found yourself a friend in the android with... heterochromia. (But once Markus had told you that part of his story, you garnered respect for the reason behind his differently colored eyes.)

Connor immediately went to the bedroom, and if he had real functioning lungs, he was sure he'd have air get caught in it. 'Maybe she left the note a day ago.' He thinks to himself, and sighs. The case he was currently working on took away lots of his time from you.

It would seem that it was one of your off days from your work, and you promised yourself to take a sleep in.

Connor reaches out to place his hand on your face, and rub his thumb across your soft cheek. If he could, he would've gulped. The lines on your face told Connor you weren't getting younger, nor stronger, each passing day.

He shook off those thoughts from his mind and let you be, watching the steady rise and fall of your chest as you lied peacefully by his side. He left the precinct after Hank went ahead after midnight. So he was sure the lieutenant was also going to be late, or worse, not go to the DPD at all; so why not let him, the android with his own rights, be late too? Or even better, skip work that day?

He missed you, is that not enough of a reason to file a leave?

Your mouth parted slightly in your slumber, and he especially liked it that you were wearing one of his clothes, slightly loose and hanging off your shoulders on one side, your scent lingering on them even after you remove it.

One of his hands trace the outline of your face, brushing away the few strands of hair that blocked you from his view, and some of it were beginning to gray. His eyes traveled through each one of the lines and creases on your face, and Connor made sure to take them in to memory.

You stirred, before pulling your body closer to his. Connor smiles, his thirium pump accelerating, and still he wonders how you seem to make him feel that way each time spent with you. Were you secretly an android programmed to do that to him?

Silly, he knows that you're nothing like his kind.

You were so much more, to an android like him.

His hand slides down to the curves of your body, and stops by your waist, hand resting at the small of your back. Five minutes more, he says to himself, and then he's gonna wake you up.

You groaned when light penetrated through the windows after Connor manipulated the blinds open. He chuckled a bit at your grumpy mood before he littered your face with butterfly kisses, and you just couldn't be pissed at him, brown eyes so intent on your own, like two cups of hot chocolate on a cold winter day.

Your face flushed as you soon smiled, red blood pulsing through your veins that contrasted his blue, blue thirium pumping through his system.

"Hey? Connor?" He still didn't respond, and you smirked slightly. "Cat got your tongue?" You chuckled, and this broke him from his trance. Despite his internal dictionary, and thousands of sources of words, he cursed himself for being so speechless when it comes to you. "It's called art appreciation, I just couldn't help it."

The compliment then made you blush, and your heart beat faster. Shit, since when did he become that smooth? This time, it was Connor's turn to smirk, not needing to run a scan on your vitals to be certain that he made you feel butterflies go crazy in your stomach.

His level of stress lessened at that, and it even gave him a bit of confidence.

Connor always listens to you, as you tell him about your day that was spent without him.

"I waited for you last night, but I fell asleep..."

Your android looks at you apologetically, and this prompted you to pull him in for a kiss.

"Guess what I found in the attic? It still works,"

You twisted a bit, after rubbing sleep off your eyes; reaching for something on the floor. You told him you spent the rest of the night before, tinkering on an old polaroid camera.

Connor sees you snap your head up in his direction, as he probably called out to your name in confusion.

You grin, Connor sees your figure sit up, holding the camera with one hand while the other grabs him by the arm and forced him to do the same on the bed. Your finger pointed towards the camera lens while you rest your head on his chest.

Connor blinks a few times after the flash of light, then you both waited for the film to develop, just in each other's arms. You raise your hand up, asking him to put his palm against yours. You once saw Markus and North do that same thing and it intrigued you. Somehow, you could even call yourself jealous because androids have such a way to connect with each other. "Do the thing," you whisper, and Connor instantly understood what you were referring to.

You could see his real, plastic self, and you could never get tired of being in awe at him. You interlaced your fingers with his and kissed the top of his hand. "I should be the one to do that." he tries teasing you, but you both knew how much he loved it, loved you even more every time you did that.

"...I wish we could stay like this for much longer,"

Connor's LED turned yellow, then quickly turns back to blue, careful not to alert you of his hidden worries. Although you were probably referring to him having to go to work, butfor the android it's about humans and their lifespan.

Connor learned and witnessed it through so many ways that humans are quite fragile: when you ran to chase after Sumo and fell, spraining your ankle; when he gripped your hips too hard on one heated night, leaving bruises; heck, even paper can cut a human's skin.

That's why he always made you his mission after becoming a deviant.

After the photo was developed, you hand it over to him, and he in turn, reaches for the book he has yet to finish due to his busy job. Connor has vowed to use the photo as his own bookmark.

"I have decided not to go to the DPD today; I'm sure Captain Fowler wouldn't mind."

You snort, "Sure he won't. Just hope that Hank gets in or else you both are gonna get your ears blown off the next day,"

"I need to make sure that you don't miss me too much." He gets hit on his chest and you suddenly get out of bed. He watches you go, but he stays behind as he digs for something inside his suit, then plays with it as though it were one of his little coins.

^Software Instability

Connor offers to cook breakfast for you, proceeding to carry out the first part of his plan to spoil you.

"I sense something today; you're being too sweet. Not saying I don't like it, but I wonder what's in that android brain of yours?" You tell him before taking a first bite into your favorite morning meal. Connor did his best to remain composed at you having caught onto him again.

Soon after, you both staggered, dancing to your favorite song on the way to the back door, one where it led to the garden you'd spent hours beautifying, tending to each plant while your android lover watched over.

There also stood a bench, situated before a tree that was there ever since you were but a child. One of you hit a foot on that bench's leg, losing balance and hitting the ground, limbs tangled with each other.

Your laugh sounded so refreshing and Connor couldn't help but join you in it. From behind you, he found the source of that little mishap, the colors of which were now dull and faded.

You made your way to the tree to get some shade, and sat there, leaning on the trunk. You pat the space beside you and Connor follows.

"You're really going extra on me today. What's up? Just tell me already,"

"I guess this is all I have..." he paused, his hand cupping your cheek, and the other reaching for something in his suit. You lean into his hand with a serene smile on your face, feeling his warmth spread across your skin. Connor returns the smile with one of his own, albeit shy and hesitant, and eventually shows you the small, simple ring he's gotten for you. You gasp at it, and tears brimming your eyes as you simply nod your head, unable to form any words out your mouth.

You felt a tear drop to your cheek as Connor leans down to gently place a kiss on your temple.

Once he pulls away, the edges around his vision began to blur, static filling in at steady intervals.

But he wasn't afraid.

Instead, his smile grew wider, another tear rolling down his cheek.

"...all I have left of you."

Connor continues his previous statement that he simply whispers to himself. He takes another look around him and what his current reality truly was.

The ring in his hand was no more, and instead was just one of his quarters. Connor gripped on it before he returns the coin back inside his pocket.

His head shot up and saw the garden you worked so hard on, was now nothing but a bunch of weeds; old, withered, cold and dead. Connor tried to tend to it but after your passing, the android couldn't bear to return and be reminded each day that he wasn't really a human; because he could not age and therefore, would not die. He found that unfair, you were unfair for being human and for making him feel like a human.

Truthfully, there were a few times he wished he had never gone deviant. Maybe he never would have suffered the pain of losing someone dear to him; of grieving over someone who has given his life, his existence, a whole new meaning; someone that he...

...loves.

But it would've been more painful to never have had the chance to experience such a powerful emotion. It would be more painful to never have had the chance to be with you.

Despite his memory cache glitching, making him see you from your youthful self to the you with white hair and wrinkled skin, Connor would never forget the way your eyes used to shine. Those eyes that never aged, eyes that gave him warmth, that ignited a spark within him and made him happy that he was alive.

Warnings about his system shutting down in a few seconds bombarded him, but he couldn't care less. He's been around far too long enough and Connor even wondered why he stayed.

A world without you was not a world he wants to further live in.

It's been years and Connor only wanted nothing more than to be with you again.

"Connor, where will you go?" Your voice was now muffled in his hearing, but the android continued trying to process one of the last pieces he's had of you.

Connor looks at you once more, and back then he didn't have anything to answer you with. But now, he was sure of it.

"Where else but to you?"

He once said that there could hardly be any heaven for androids. However, as his system collapses, Connor swore he could really feel your hand on the side of his face, lowering it to your level.

Connor faintly feels your lips brush against where he knows his LED would be. He caught a glimpse of you, and everything felt so real, he was sure that you were truly there with him; alive and healthy just as you were years ago.

"I love you Connor. No matter what people still say, I never loved any other human or android the same way as I loved you. Always remember that,"

He tried reaching out to finally kiss your lips but his vision blackens out, and all he could see were warnings about his biocomponents and the amount of time he has left before shutdown. Connor could even feel his thirium pump decelerating.

Your android couldn't be happier.

"And I never forgot. I can't wait to see you again, love," his voice didn't sound like his own, like a typical machine losing power.

Connor leans back on the tree, looking up at the sky streaked with pastel colors that were being reflected on his lenses. However, he could no longer see the beauty it held. You were the last masterpiece that he saw and for him, nothing would ever outshine your beauty.

He was ready now. Connor still couldn't believe he'd survived being alone for such a long time without you in his life.

Five seconds. His eyes flutter close, the wind weaving through the loose strands of his hair.

Three seconds. Two. Connor's lips move, feeling your name escape through him as his last 'breath', the sound of it going on deaf ears and carried away by the wind.

One.

[ REC0NS?¿RUCT CO¿?PL3TE ]

Connor's head slightly bows, then tilts to the side, the blue LED flickering once before it shut off completely.

The autumn breeze makes the leaves fall all around him, making the whole scenario nothing but peaceful. It was as if Connor was just in a state of permanent sleep, eternally dreaming, reunited with you in his quaint version of heaven, a garden he used to tell you of but never got to see and recreated it in your own little way.

If one were to take a closer look, the android that was once regarded as a deviant hunter, held a smile of pure bliss that would forever be etched onto his plastic features.

#writinginstability500 #writinginstability1kwc #connor x reader #rk800 x reader #detroit become human #connor #rk800 #writinginstability #lol i tried #i know this succs 100% i assure u #utter crap #<3 #nonetheless it was fun #shut up self

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super-fabulous-killjoy · 7 years ago

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Tagged by the lovely @bundleofunicorns

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (eh thats a lot we’ll try)

— What was your last…

1. Drink: apple cider

2. Phone call: Baba

3. Text message: Guy who sends me pictures of his dog when im sad (i love that man and that dog)

4. Song you listened to: Woke the Fuck Up - Jon Bellion

5. Time you cried: earlier today when my extended family drove me to panic

6. Dated someone twice: never

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: havent kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on: never

9. Lost someone special: when my homeboy moved to hawaii and didnt even invite me

10. Been depressed: never

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never

— Fave colours

12. Black

13. Blue

14. Gold

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: maybe? Define love also does platonic love count

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes but not in a bad way

19. Met someone who changed you: i already knew them but my friends did change me this year

20. Found out who your friends are: Mainly just reminded of how much i love my real friends and how much i hate the asshat who wasnt

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: nope

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: idk i got a facebook when i was really little to play farmville and the like i dont use it any more

23. Do you have any pets: 4 rabbits

24. Do you want to change your name: bot particularly

25. What did you do for your last birthday: party bus it was LIT

26. What time did you wake up today: like 9

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: scrolling through tumblr

28. What is something you can’t wait for: The Masquerade, Mashby is gonna FLIP HER SHIT

30. What are you listening to right now: My “songs i think love sounds like” playlist

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ive talked to a Thomas, but idk about a tom

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: anxiety

33. Most visited website: spotify

34. Hair colour: blonde

35. Long or short hair: shortish

36. Do you have a crush on someone: who knows, not me

37. What do you like about yourself: im reaally good on emergencies

38. Want any piercings: not really

39. Blood type: no idea, a i think?

40. Nicknames: bro or hey you

41. Relationship status: single

42. Sign: libra

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: at this very moment, deception or b99

45. Tattoos: i wish, i want a red feather behind my ear

46. Right or left handed: right

47. Ever had surgery: wisdom teeth

48. Piercings: none

49. Sport: XC/ track

50. Vacation: yes?

51. Trainers: i wear the same pair for everything

— More General

52. Eating: doritos

53. Drinking: nothing

54. Im about to watch: the new episode of deception, if my dad finished black mirror

55. Waiting for: my anxiety to die down

56. Want: to sleep for 4 days

57. Get married: maybe, if i find someone i like enough

58. Career: CFO of a music company, but also probably a chemist

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs

60: lips or eyes: eyes

61. Taller or shorter: taller, tall people give the best hugs

62. Older or younger: same age

63. Nice arms or stomach: dont care

64. Hookups or relationships: relationships

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: whatever the mood is

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: nope

67. Drank hard liquor: once on accident and never again

68. Turned someone down: haven’t been asked out

69. Sex on first date: *asexual laughter*

70. Broken someone’s heart: gee i hope not

71. Had your heart broken: do terrible book to movie adaptations count?

72. Been arrested: nope

73. Cried when someone died: yes

74. Fallen for a friend: so often its a problem

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: not really? Not at this present moment

76. Miracles: yeah

77. Love at first sight: nope

78. Santa Claus: i believe in the concept of him, if that makes sense

79. Angels: yes

— Misc

80. Eye color: blue

81. Best friend’s name: they definitely have one

82. Favorite movie: ummmmmmmmmm memento or the prestige

83. Favorite actor: rn its tom holland

84. Favorite cartoon: miraculous ladybug probably

85. Favorite teacher’s name: Miss T, or Mrs. Walle, or Mashby

WHEW well that was long but fun. Lets tag @sapphic-asteroid @saltbaekei @ivegotthislove @papillonemheliosa @pancake13error @typicalyaoifangirl @kierenrose @kaidad @ylove-bandaesthetics @d3kv @dreamlurkerdreameater @hardrock-mysticrage @just-a-shy-and-depressed-lesbian @justatracersexual @legimus-ergo-sumus @cuddlycryptid @vintageunicornblood @bandobsessed510 and yeah thats all i got. Fun times. You dont have to if you dont want to, obviously, but it was fun! Anyway, have a great day yall

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chinxino5-blog · 7 years ago

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yeet

tagged by @fayfictions thanks b

Rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

Tagging: whoever wants it?? idk man im not good at taggin people, it makes me way nervous - also throwing this under the cut bc its long as FuCk

Last

1. drink - milo

2. phone call - my mum lmao letting her know i was going to my friends place

3. text message - best friend (hannah)

4. song you listened - i think it was TiO or Pony or something from my friend’s playlist [it’s called ‘slut it up’ i think that explains enough]

5. time you cried - ...er.... maybe a little over a week ago? i think? not sure

6. dated someone twice? - same person? nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it - lmao yeah

8. been cheated on - nope

9. lost someone special - no one i needed

10. been depressed - depressive episodes/moods

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - nope :p

fave colours

12. crimson/dark red

13. baby pink

14. burgandy/really really dark purple-y red

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes! lots esp on tumblr ^^

16. fallen out of love - never been in love

17. laughed until you cried - a lot :)

18. found out someone was talking about you - negatively and positively yes

19. met someone who changed you - hm... not by heaps... maybe a little?

20. found out who your friends are - yes, real friends

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - i dont kiss people ;w;

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - dont use facebook

23. do you have any pets - a fish named physh!

24. do you want to change your name - i want to change my last name; wanna take my mums maiden name

25. what did you do for your last birthday - stereotype-themed party!

26. what time did you wake up today - 6:15

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping, surprisingly

28. what is something you cant wait for - get more piercings, dye my hair, start nursing, finish my fic, start a new fic; theres a lot i want to do in the future

30. what are you listening to right now - the sound of my laptop whirring

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - err over a discord? no one i know well

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - people at school (its been literally 4 days)

33. most visited website - you’re on it right now

34. hair color - blonde~

35. long or short hair - pixie-cute short!

36. do you have a crush on someone - nope, this bish dont get feelings

37. what do you like about yourself - my writing and my hair tbh?

38. want any piercings? - i want two more on my right ear, one more on my left, a septum, maybe a lip (maybe two lip) and possibly a tongue piercings but idk

39. blood type - no clue

40. nicknames - on here? chinx, chinxy/chinxi. irl? gracie, graciegrapes, G, lesbian, gayce

41. relationship status - single

42. zodiac - gemini~

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - teenwolf, end of the fucking world

45. tattoos - i want them

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - broke my hand

48. piercings - ive got my firsts, seconds and a helix on my right

49. sport - right now, only horse riding lessons and gym/running. i quit netball and soccer last year

50. vacation - err ive been to bali and new zealand

51. trainers - i dont know what this one means

more general

52. eating - nothing

53. drinking - nothing

54. i’m about to watch - probs nothing

55. waiting for - a cute girl to be gay and to like me and to be likeable

56. want - ^^^ + just generally to be happy

57. get married - when im old enough

58. career - nurse

59. hugs or kisses - kisses

60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - shorter

62. older or younger - younger

63. nice arms or stomach - stomach

64. hookup or relationship - dream? relationship. most likely? hookup

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - nope

68. lost glasses - sunglasses, but not prescripted ones

69. turned someone down - uhhh inadvertently by being gay lmao

70. sex on first date - im a chILD

71. broken someone’s heart - if we’re gonna be dramatic, sure

72. had your heart broken - nah

73. been arrested - noooo

74. cried when someone died - yes

75. fallen for a friend - what are FEELINGS

do you believe in

76. yourself - on good days?

77. miracles - yes

78. love at first sight - no

79. santa claus - no

80. kiss on a first date - yeah if you’ve known them before been dating? if its first time properly meeting/hanging out probs not

81. angels - yes

82. best friend’s name - hannah <3

83. eye color - kinda change between blue and grey

84. fave movie - ooooo spirit: stallion of the cimmaron

85. fave actor - who doesnt adore emma watson im SO GAY for her

#this was probs boring and a waste of your reading but #lmao #get to know me if ya want #ask me random questions if ya want #i'll answer anything except last name #or age #but lmao shoot and i'll take it

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ledzepplin · 7 years ago

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about me tagged by pattycakes tumblr user pyrojunkie it wont tag him but thats fine last 1. drink - tea 2. phone call - my friend 3. text message - with fromch fries? 4. song you listened to - the other side of paradise by glass animals 5. time you cried - couple days ago i dont know ever 6. dated someone twice? - no 7. kissed someone and regretted it - no, 8. been cheated on - idk 9. lost someone special - not physically 10. been depressed - yeah 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - no fave colors 12. green 13. blue 14. silver in the last year have you… 15. made new friends - yes 16. fallen out of love - no 17. laughed until you cried - uhh other way around 18. found out someone was talking about you - idk 19. met someone who changed you - i guess? 20. found out who your friends are - uh 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - i dont even have facebook 23. do you have any pets - not anymore 24. do you want to change your name - i dont think so 25. what did you do for your last birthday - i cant remember 26. what time did you wake up today - 10 or so 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - reading 28. what is something you cant wait for - sounds pathetic but school starting again so i can see my friends 30. what are you listening to right now - youre so dark by arctic monkeys 31. have you ever spoke to a person named tom? - yes 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - my dad 33. most visited website - tumblr unfortunately 34. hair colour - brown 35. long or short hair - short 36. do you have a crush on someone - dont think so 37. what do you like about yourself - idk 38. want any piercings - yeah 39. blood type - idk 40. nicknames - not any real ones my friends call me skinny dick vic but im not explaining 41. relationship status - dont remind me 42. zodiac - pisces 43. pronouns - he/him 44. fave tv shows - black mirror, stranger things 45. tattoos - nothing yet.... 46. right or left handed - right 47. ever had surgery - no 48. piercings - ears 49. sport - i used to do a lot but not anymore 50. vacation - somewhere not in suffocating heat 51. trainers - like my shoes or more general 52. eating - last thing i ate was cereal 53. drinking - tea 54. im about to watch - nothing 55. waiting for - an appointment 56. want - privacy for fucks SAKE 57. get married - for citizenship 58. career - coughs i fuckjg VAPE man i VAPE which is better 59. hugs or kisses - depends 60. lips or eyes - eyes 61. shorter or taller - doesnt matter 62. older or younger - doesnt matter, 63. nice arms or stomach - mdoesnt matter 64. hookup or relationship - either 65. troublemaker or hesitant - depends on the Mood have you ever 66. kissed a stranger - no 67. drank hard liquor - yes 68. lost glasses - no 69. turned someone down - yes 70. sex on first date - no 71. broken someones heart - i dont have that kind of power 72. had your heart broken - yeah 73. been arrested - no 74. cried when someone died - yeah 75. fallen for a friend - yes do you believe in… 76. yourself - what 77. miracles - idk 78. love at first sight - no 79. santa claus - no 80. kiss on a first date - its not that deep 81. angels - i think so other 82. best friend’s name - patrick, james, cade god i love them 83. eye colour - hazel 84. fave movie - kill your darlings? harry potter?? i dont know 85. fave actor - dunno i tag my mutuals that ive never spoken to

#long post #i love my friends #whys my phone so stupid i dont think it even tagged him

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chyeahlex16 · 7 years ago

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I got tagged by @voltron---trash

Rules: Answer all 85 questions and tag 20 people Here goes The Last 1. Drink: I had an ICE-E from the movies if that counts 2. Phone call: @voltron---trash 3. Text message: @voltron---trash or @attemptingauthor 4. Song you listened to: Uhh by Snow Tha Product 5. Time I cried: Last night as a matter of fact wow 6. Dated someone twice: Um no?? 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope, never kissed anyone lol 8. Been cheated on: nope, but cheaters can stay the fuck away from me, thanks 9. Lost someone special: Yeah. It wasn’t a good time. 10. Been depressed: I actually am depressed so I guess? 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope. Three favourite colours 12. Purple/lilac 13. Black 14. Gold In the last year have you 15. Made new friends: Yeahhhh 16. Fallen out of love: Not really tbh 17. Laughed so hard you cried: Hell yeah, with the friends I have, definitely 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so? 19. Met someone that changed you: Yee 20. Found out who your friends are: Um... yeah actually. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: LMAO no General 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: P much all of them lol

23. Do you have any pets?: I have 4 dogs, 3 chickens, 2 budgies, 1 fish, and 1 cat.

24. Do you want to change your name?: Nah, im p satisfied with it. 25. What did you do for your last birthday?: Shit, um, i think I had a party or something? I have a terrible memory, omg 26. What time did you wake up?: 10:30ish 27. What were you doing at midnight last night?: Talking to @attemptingauthor ^-^ 28. Name something you can’t wait for?: Move-in day at Uni, and Monday when my friend @voltron---trash comes to visit 29. When was the last time you saw your mum?: Few hours ago before she went to bed 30. What are you listening to right now?: @voltron---trash talking in my ear through the phone lol 31. Have you ever spoken to someone named Tom?: I believe so?? 32. Something getting on your nerves?: My stupid brain feeling all foggy :/ 33. Most visited website?: Tumblr. Or Youtube lmao. 34. Hair colour?: Dark brown, but reddish in the sun 35. Long or Short?: Ehh, medium. 36. Do you have a crush on someone?: What a loaded question, heh. I think so... 37. What do you like about yourself?: I like that I am trustworthy enough for friends to come to me about their problems and stuff. Also my eyeliner skills bc I gotta keep them wings sharp enough to kill a man ;) 38. Pericings?: Just my ears, but I got plans in the future :D 39. Blood type?: idk lmao 40. Nickname?: Alex, Chacha, Chyeahlex, Andra, Lex (but im eh about this one) etc. 41. Relationship status: I am a single pringle lmaoooo 42. Zodiac: Pisces 43. Pronouns: She/Her 44. Favourite T.V show?: The L Word, if I could ever finish it. But also Criminal Minds ayyyyy 45. Tattoos?: No but I want!! 46. Left or right handed?: I am a righty 47. Surgery?: Uhhh, not really.

48. Sport?: Nothing that i really follow, but basketball and women’s college gymnastics is definitely interesting to watch 49. Vacation: Japan or Hawaii pleaseeee 50. Pair of trainers?: I mostly wear sneakers so yeah? General 51. Eating: I ate a lot today lmaoooo 52. Drinking: Water and a soda earlier 53. I’m about to?: talk i guess lol 54. Waiting for?: My friend to come down and visit yaaasss 55. Want?: Cuddles and all the glorious physical affection pls smother me with affection 56. Married?: I am not 57. Career?: I wanna be a social worker, writer, music producer, etc. Which is Better 58. Kisses or hugs?: Shit I like both, but I can get hugs from anyone and everyone so i mean 59. Lips or eyes?: Eyessss 60. Shorter or taller?: I love both, I cannot choose. 61. Older or younger?: Depends on the age gap tbh 62. Nice arms or stomach?: How can I choose?? I love both, all as they come. I will lovingly kiss both. 63. Hook up or relationship?: I like relationships, my heart is not the type to handle hookups. 64. Trouble maker or hesitant?: God, both. Gotta catch me in a Mood (tm) Have you ever 65. Kissed a stranger?: Nope 66. Drunk hard liquor?: I tasted some, but never really drank. 67. Lost glasses or contact lenses?: Unfortunately BOTH UGH 68. Turned someone down?: lmao no 69. Sex on the first date?: Never been on a date, but I wouldn’t anyway. 70. Had your heart broken?: For sure lol 71. Been arrested?: Nope 72. Cried when someone died?: Fuck yeah. Not good times. 73. Fallen for a friend?: hahahahahahahahahahaha a;sjfh;asdjfshd;ljkf Do you believe in 74. Yourself?: I try to 75. Miracles?: Yeah 76. Love at first sight?: Not really 77. Santa Claus?: Of course lmao 78. Kiss on the first date?: Ehhhhh depends. Total stranger? Nah. Good friend testing waters? Maybe. 79. Angels?: Ye sure. Gotta be someone out there who hasn’t let me kill myself yet. Other 80. Eye colour?: Coffee brown lol 81. Favourite movie?: Shit dude, how do I choose??? fuck idk, i can’t even name one. Maleficent was p good i guess??? The Perfect Ending was cool too??

I tag the lovely @attemptingauthor (hello love), @forthefirsttimeinforheaven, aaaaand @yellow-hufflepuff-princess. There’s no obligation, so feel free to do or not to do! <3

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jungkoog · 8 years ago

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tagged by @je0n ages ago 💗💕🌷💖💐🎀🌺💓

Nickname(s): Dez is a nickname, the only nickname I’ve ever rly liked tbh Bias: normally i’d say ot7 but karen’s gonna @ me so JJK, i mean.. thats not wrong in the least but its just not that simple ok Blood type: haven’t a clue, its a mystery. like mystery meat.... @ vampires R/s: single, don't think i rly wanna mingle Birthday: june 13 1996 Zodiac sign: gemini Pronouns: she/her Hair lenght: idk....... long Height: im 167cm/5′5 A crush: does bts count What do you like about yourself: haha idk man idk Right or left handed: right List of three favourite colors: ???? sry....what i like is dependent on context (Right now) eating: nothing (Right now) drinking: nothing I’m about to: hopefully get shit done Listening to: Tilted by Christine and The Queens Kids: bye Get married: idk man Recent phone call: uh..... i think the woman i babysit for

(Have you ever)

Dated someone twice: no Been cheated on: no Kissed someone and regretted it: yes Lost someone special: no Been depressed: lmao Been drunk and thrown up: 😒 yeah Had glasses or contacts: glasses that i never actually wear which is dumb cause I'm blind Had sex on the first date: no Broken someone’s heart: yeah Turned someone down: yes Cried when someone died: no Fallen for a friend: no

(In the last year have you)

Made a new friend: yeah Laughed until you cried: i don't think I've ever actually cried because of laughing too hard? idk it’s not like i don’t laugh really hard ..i just.. don't end up tearing up??? Met someone who changed you: i don't think so Found out who your true friends were: idk Found out someone was talking about you: yeah i guess

(_ or _)

Lips or eyes: ? can't pick. depends on the person???? Hugs or kisses: as a general rule I'm gonna say hugs but idk Shorter or taller: listen.... i don't KNOW Romantic or spontaneous: both Sensitive or loud: both Hookup or relationship: neither 😅

(First…)

First best friend: her name was sapphire but she was french so... it was pronounced ‘saf-fear’ (w the french ‘r’) and not the english pronunciation ‘saf-fire’ Surgery: hmm........ does wisdom teeth count? Sports I joined: soccer.....

Do you believe in yourself: i mean??? do u want me to answer honestly??? cause not rly??? IM SORRY

Miracles: not rly? Love at first sight: this all depends on your definition of love tbh Heaven: ...do i believe in it? not rly Do you have any pets: yep, I have a pup Do you want to change your name: nope What did you do for your last birthday: i went to a cottage with some friends What time did you wake up today: like.... noon What were you doing last night at midnight: showering Something you can’t wait for: i think i have plans to go bowling LMAO and i wanna go RIGHT NOW I'm in the mood Last time you saw your mom: monday evening What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: ONE THING? LMAO UMMMMMMMMMMM... mental illness? yeah What’s getting on your nerves: ANXIETY ITS RLY KILLING ME RN

this was probably so boring to read I'm so sorry lmao 😩

@gooddaybybts, @rudeoppa, @prettypjm, @2seoke, @2awake, @poutypjm, @sftae, @cmdrfenris, @triptiych, ummmm idk theres lots of ppl i could tag but idk if i don't rly feel like tagging a lot of ppl rn

#sofia i know u just finished a bunch of tags lmao I'm sry but sometimes i just tag ppl cause i want them to know i considered them lol #kenwayer27

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in-paradox-space · 7 years ago

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today I haven’t done anything. I’ve been down, anxious and lazy.

I want to get high with friends and do sesh things.

I want to draw in my notebook which got lost along with my drawing pens

and some other stuff

I left my bag in a taxi

I left basically all my convenient shit in that bag, chargers, some meds, my ps4 controller, more usb wires, more usb shit but its all really niche convenient techy shit

it isnt that niche but for “””””techies””””” and travelers alike (me) its really convenient

usb type c and micro usb chargers, otg cables, plug heads, usb 3.0 card readers which btw i can plug into my otg cable transferring torrented shit from my phone to a usb wherever i am

a tiny amount of oxy and codeine, 2 weeks worth of medicine roughly, plus some 5htp vitamins

hella baggies just because

probably makes the prescription medicine in there look suspicious

my beanie

and a small sketchbook, pocket sized

I’ve had it since the start of 2017.

I’ve been developing my very own abstract drawing style in that book for over a year.

Nothing valuable was lost. Luckily my camera&lens worth around a grand wasn’t in there

but its just all my convenient stuff

and what sucks most is losing that sketchbook

and as ive been home alone today

ive wanted all the shit in that bag

i can get over the stuff in there

but I want my sketchbook back

it has my address in there, my name, probably some contact details

I really hope they send it there. Even if they keep the other shit.

I may have left the bag in a taxi though. Usually I’d walk to the taxi place, then walk back. It’s like 2.5 miles in total which is a good thing for me because I like the walk

gets me outside,etc

but uh im anxious

honestly most likely because I fapped

I fap like once every one or two weeks. Nofap is no lie. I feel like shit the next few days afterwards

and uhhh

my neighbour moved out, which leaves his girlfriend in the apartment next door... if shes even his gf anymore???? i have no idea but theyre both moving apparently

well yeah i spoke to her boyfriend a lot, got on with him

but i barely know her

and i have no key to the front door of my apartment building, long frustrating story lol

lost my keys

i keep going to the same key cutter because i have no cash and they do free fixes when their own keys fuck up

they made one key cut work, my apartments, but the one to the front door doesn’t work

i dont want to ask her to open the front door, i dont want to knock on her door, its just

the word here is awkward but everything is awkward thats not really a reason

im just irrationally anxious. I feel like she doesn’t like me. There’s many reasons for her not to but also reasons for her to.

Either way I don’t want to annoy her

and it would just be awkward if she heard me try to open the door, then its locked and she hears that from her apartment

then she hears me go back up the stairs and not knock on her door

then that leaves us both in an awkward place

do i knock on her door, knowing there’s a 50/50 chance she heard my attempt to leave my own apartment building

then do that shit

or do i go back into my flat, knowing she probably heard me avoid her

she can put two and two together

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

then she may even knock on herself

with her nice smile which is actually pretty welcoming tbh

well tomorrow

yeah tomorrow i think oh well ill find out

im getting more medicine which i ordered since i ran out and lost mine

one that im able to live without for a week no problem, havent had it for a few days

im supposed to get a blood test every month on this medicine but its been 3 months

lets hope im aight

and uhhh

i need some kick out of this slump

i just keep lazing around

like i have so much i can be doing

like studying, making things for my pages

just hella shit which isnt even that laborious

like i make memes

thats my main thing

i have hella pages

its fun to make them

i draw too

thats also one of my main things on the down low

but i keep putting it off

i play rythym games

analyze music

can be boring sometime but im under no pressure to do that

i make videos with my friend

god yeah i should do that

like my studying isnt that hard

i dont have to clean toilets every day

man i just

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i want to get high on oxy and codeine for 2 weeks

but theres just a few a lot of problems with that:

money for one

thats 2 weeks out of my life

withdrawal from friends, having to hide that im back on the horse

then choosing between lying and telling the truth every time afterwards about the 2 weeks

then it wouldnt be as simple as just stopping would it?

maybe it would, sometimes i do just stop like its nothing

and what do i gain

but you know what

oxy might give me that kick

i just dont know the prices on the deepweb or how to use the deepweb

plus i dont have the money

but yeah i guess i feel like being withdrawn for 2 weeks

wouldnt mind doing some light opiates and reading homestuck

plus drawing

then maybe cramming physics and maths work into literally every hour for a few days

im apparently having some xanax sent over by a friend

im having my doubts about that. it still hasnt arrived and he has reasons to not send them but still make me pay

this is my tumblr and nobody is fucking reading so yeah

but still drugs are mentioned, this is public and liable

id mention him but im just gonna say its the serious boyfriend of someone who got close to me

it fucked with him when it happened. idk how he feels about it now but hes polite to me

it could just be a polite front though, idk how he really feels

i actually really fucking admire the dude

a lot

everything ive learned about him, from him and our mutual person has just been fucking exceptional

and thats on my mind every time she advanced on me

every time i invited it

every time i chose not to say no

hes a really great dude like i just

he could have beat me up that one time but he understood

he understood pretty much all times i think

and he opened up to me

whether he sees it that way or not, i see it that way

id love to be his friend. maybe i will be even though this shit is in the air

but i think he may just be being polite, he probably hates me

but yeah

i like the dude

i dont want to fuck around with something that matters so much to him

when i honestly dont want to bother with her

shes admirably smart, very much so, but just not really the kinda person i want to spend more than an evening with

and i only want to be around her when she isnt drunk and in a good mood

shes so volatile i cant be doing with that

but thats why i commend him even more

hes stayed with her through it all and hes such a great person, in my eyes, to be in her life

and if hes gonna try to get cash from me this way then that sucks

like id probably just pay him if he asked considering how much hes forked out

but nah hes gotta deceive me

i dont even wanna get into benzos, as nice as it is a few hours in,

i just dont like this memory fog

i dont remember any of it

and the withdrawal seems fucking SCARY

plus tolerance and the fun wearing off when u get hooked

why couldnt he just sell me oxy lol

............. i may ask him

if i was doing oxy id probably actually get the fuck up

do the shit i wanna do

but yeah fuck that

thats basicslly all im saying

im getting anxious, low and unmotivated again

id call it dysthymia

#personal #sad #anxiety #kelly #drugs

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moisok20 · 6 years ago

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Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 other blogs to answer as well.

1. Last drink: Water with lemon

2. Last phone call: my little brother

3. Last text message: to Kennedy. They said they were about to get laid again and i said, “GODSPEED!”

4. Last song you listened to: Baby Be Mine by Michael Jackson

5. Time you cried: cried myself to sleep last night

6. Dated someone twice?: never dated

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? nope

8. Been cheated on? no

9. Lost someone special? no

10. Been depressed? currently. im working on it

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? nope

favorite colors

12. Purple

13. Maroon

14. Red

in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends? yeah

16. Fallen out of love? No

17. Laughed until you cried? yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you? yes

19. Met someone who changed you? yes

20. Found out who your friends are?: i guess

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: no

general

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl? i dont use Facebook anymore

23. Do you have any pets? Yeah my Pomeranian “Pax”

24. Do you want to change your name? You know i did for a while. I disliked the name Mohammad because as a kid i thought no animation company would hire me because of it and because im not muslim. i still dont like the name but i go by Moe now and ive decided not to legally change it because fuck the white man,

25. What did you do for your last birthday? i dont remember

26. What time did you wake up today? 2;00 am (i couldnt stay asleep)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? crying in my room

28. What is something you cant wait for? All the new movies and shows coming out this year, Particularly Wreck it Ralph 2, Black Panther, and Infinity War

30. What are you listening to right now? My art teachers instrumentals he’s playing on Pandora

31. Have you ever talked to a person named tom? Yeah

32. Something that gets on your nerves? White men

33. Most visited website: Instagram, Snap, and Tumblr

34. Hair color: black people hair color

35. Long or short hair: shlong

36. Do you have a crush on someone: im working on not

37. What do you like about yourself: im the funniest person i've ever met, im kind, i have a beautiful soul, im loving and caring, im overall just a good person and i deserve so much more than i have (if this sounds conceited im sorry. im working on talking positive about myself because i almost always criticize myself)

38. Want any piercings? diamond earing on one of my ears, hopefully someday

39. Blood type: O Negative

40. Nicknames: Moe, Momo, The Star Spangled Clitoris, Mr Proper, Dr Octogonapus, A Midsummer’s Wet Dream, Tony,

41. Relationship status: single

42. Zodiac: Scorpio Master Race

43. Pronouns: he/him but you can call me anything as long as you dont call me late for dinner

44. fave tv shows: Steven Universe, Sym Bionic Titan, Dragon Ball, Big Mouth, many many many more

45. Tattoos: none, but id probably get one some day. Im thinking of getting “Let it go, let live again” tatted on me somewhere, someday. its a quote that helps me deal with all the negative stuff thats happened in my life. mostly my moms abuse and my dad’s absence and hate for me.

46. Right or left handed: Alt Right

47. Ever had surgery: when i broke my thumb, yeah

48. Piercings: you just asked me that. This is bad writing Dan

(Jk)

49. Sport: swimming. i used to play soccer but my mom made me quit because i was terrible and it embarrassed her

50. Vacation: away

51. Trainers: on and off again

more general

52. Eating: havent eaten in two days. kinda happy, kinda scared. im usually always hungry

54. Im about to watch: porn

55. Waiting for: Superman by Daughtry is a great song

56. Want: to leave Ohio and start my life over on the west coast

57. Get married: i used to fantasize about having a wife and 5 kids...

then i said “forget kids. i just want to be married”

then i realized im not a catch and i just wanted someone to notice me

now i just wanna be happy being by myself.

58. career: wanted to be an animator since i was little and i still do. i want to own a company that specializes specifally in diversifying animation someday and i want to be able to hire many disenfranchised groups of people who wouldnt have the

59. Hugs or kisses: depends on who they’re coming from but preferably brief eye contact

60. Lips or eyes: idk eyes?

61. Shorter or taller: taller, I wish I was tall. If we’re talking dating I don’t care though

62. Older or younger: uhhh I don’t really care I guess I lean towards slightly older

63. Nice arms or stomach: this is the weirdest decision I’ve made. Idk arms?

64. Hookup or relationship: depends on what mood I’m in but I guess relationship in the long run

65. Hesitant or troublemaker: both, it’s hell Other 66. Kissed a stranger: no

67. Drank hard liquor: yep

68. Lost glasses: yeah that was terrible

69. Turned someone down: yeah

70. Sex on first date: idk probably not but it depends on a lot of factors

71. Broken someones heart: lol no

72. Had your heart broken: not like broken, more like…scratched

73.Been arrested: almost but no

74. Cried when someone died: yeah

75. Fallen for a friend: aghhhhhh yes

76. Yourself: complicated relationship. Would fight but apologize the whole time

77. Miracles: idk if I believe in them. What constitutes as a miracle?

78. Love at first sight: no

79. Santa claus: I am an entire adult,,;

80. Kiss on a first date: yeah maybe

81. Angels: they not real bitch

82. Best friend’s name: hmmmmmmmm Sarah I guess, but like what classifies someone as “best friend” exactly?

83. Eye colour: blue

84. Fave movies (right now): Hellboy 1 & 2, Kill Bill

85. Fave actor: that’s a good fuckin question

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lavendr-bay · 6 years ago

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85 Question Meme

I was tagged by @stressodepressoespresso

Rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

– what was your last…

1. drink: peppermint tea 2. phone call: Toby 3. text message: “Oh noo :(” (in the context of the shop not having any hotdogs) 4. last song you listened to: Harry Dean - SWMRSS 5. last time you cried: literally like yesterday haha

– have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: lowkey idk what this means but probably no?? 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. been cheated on: nopee 9. lost someone special: prons 10. been depressed: big mood (yes) 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: surprisingly, no I don’t really vom

– favourite colours

12. RED 13. like, sunset-y orangey red 14. grey (BuT GrEY Is A ShaDE)

– in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: so fucking many 16. fallen out of love: nopee, thank god. 17. laughed until you cried: so many times 18. found out someone was talking about you: yeah lol 19. met someone who has changed you: we already knew each other but imma say yes anyway 20. found out who your friends are: lowkey yes lowkey no, people are snakes 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: i dont have facebook lol, but if i did the answer would be yes

– general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: dont have it lol 23. do you have any pets: two dogs 24. do you want to change your name: i’d rather be called lil that lily but that’s not really changing my name 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went out for dinner with my family, it wasn’t an important one 26. what time did you wake up today: 7:25am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: was probably asleep, i had to get up early 28. what is something you can’t wait for: literally nothing, i’m going to two gigs in september over the same weekend but that’s about it. 29. last time you saw your mother: this morning

30. what are you listening to right now: Coloured in Smiles - Super Furniture (they’re sick please listen to them) 31. have you ever met a person named tom: yuppp 32. something that’s getting on you nerves: am kinda hungry and my dog is barking for no reason

33. most visited website: youtube or tumblr 34. hair colour: ginger 35. long or short hair: fairly short, its a bit longer than collarbone length

36. do you have a crush on someone: i don’t think it counts as a crush 37. what do you like about yourself: ngl im fucking funny and i’ve lowkey (highkey) got a good music taste 38. want any piercings: wanna get my nose pierced so bad but my parents are so against it hahaha 39. blood type: red 40. nicknames: Lil, Lils, Lou, (they’re all boring) Lilian if its from @stressodepressoespresso lol 41. relationship status: yes :) 42. zodiac sign: Pisces 43. pronouns: She/Her 44. fave tv show: Brooklyn nine nine or queer eye 45. tattoos: I want them but i’m indecisive and have no idea what i want 46. right or left handed: right . 47. ever had surgery: nope. 48. piercings: got to piercings in each lobe, did have my cartilage done but it kept getting infecteed so i took it out. 49. sport: no. 50. vacation: idk what i’m meant to say about it but i want to travel a lot 51. trainers: ngl i dont really wear them, i wear my docs more

– more general

52. eating: plain buttered toast is peng but i love chicken burgers so much man. 53. drinking: tea or coffee 54. about to watch: my life crumble before my eyes lol 55. waiting for: a will to live

56. want: money pls. 57. get married: hopefully at some point 58. career: interior design

– which is better

59. hugs or kisses: kisses, always . 60. lips or eyes: eyes 61. shorter or taller: taller 62. older or younger: same age, preferably 63. nice arms or stomach: arms, but i’m honestly not arsed 64. hookup or relationship: relationship plz 65. troublemaker or hesitant: neither, just dont be a dick

– have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: nahhh. 67. drank hard liquor: probably. 68. turned someone down: yeah and it feels shit 69. sex on first date: nope 70. broken someone’s heart: i dont think so?. 71. had your heart broken: lowkey yes but its irrelevant now?. 72. been arrested: nah73. cried when someone died: yes. 74. fallen for a friend: .yep, its lowkey the best way

– do you believe in

75. yourself: do i fuck 76. miracles: idk pls give me one. 77. love at first sight: not love, maybe lust 78. santa claus: he’s alright but he’s not real (soz @ santa) 79. angels: idk not really

– misc

80. eye colour: my eyes are literally the same colour as my hair so like sorta ginger 81. best friend’s name: Lizz 82. favourite movie: Spike Island. 83. favourite actor: I dont really have one. 84. favourite cartoon: idk i dont have one. 85. favourite teacher’s name: Mr Ferguson.

I tag @unfortunatelymary @caveera

#ask meme

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thegeminisage · 8 years ago

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time for MORE ZELDABLOGGING hell yeah today’s stream of consciousness:

i’ve decided that i wanna go south bc like im never gonna catch up with my brother and im Not in the mood to do heat-resistence stuff so i might as well see a thing he hasn’t, right?!

if i get too bored i can always turn around and go north!!

furthermore he’s getting closer to hyrule castle and i dont wanna lol

fast traveled to the dueling peaks and found the tower already

ooh and lake hylia is south as well! tho ofc im doing the southeast one first

and i’ll probably get tired of storyless exploring before i get out that far hahaha

wow the tower is close to the border, i can see the lake hylia province from here

there’s an Immense palm tree lookin jungle and i think i see a giant armos?

but the mountains divide it pretty neatly so it looks to be an easy walk assuming those guardian statues don’t move

ah. of course they move.

at least they can’t get up and walk around :|

too bad you can’t play around in the menu while you wait out rain. i’d rewatch m memories and shit

i climbed this one red looking cliff and the sky went green and the weather changed to all cloudy forever so im probably about to die

and just like that, glided to the tower. easy peasy

ah, the faron province!! cooool

ah wow!! it’s bigger than i realized *w*

watching a lightning storm from one of these towers is fucking terrifying

that lightning does Not fuck around

the maddening thing about this game is seeing so much cool shit in the distance and you can’t check it out yet, or it would be such hard work

i see some glowy shit and a giant pink tree and i wanna explore everything but also it’s so Much

it’s kind of creepy out here :/ maybe i want to go do story after all lol

im ging back to the shrine you hang glide off of so i can start from somewhere familiar >_>

idk why im so cautious playing this game. like. its a game. its not like it can hurt me

im having trauma flashbacks looking at eventide island

wait is this a

i hear town music!!! omg omg

PEOPLE ;_;

ohhhh my gosh what a beautiful peaceful beachside town

reminds me of bodhum/new bodhum and bits and piece of ff11, which i say with the greatest reluctance

i love everyone in this village just bc they are here

oh god it’s so beautiful i love beaches so much i want to live here

oh my gosh there’s a gerudo here!!!!!! OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE MM TALK TO ME

she’s asleep in the inn lol

oh hey the painter dude is here too

some of these hylian npcs are poc which is so do cool and overdue

ooh a chest game

i lost lmao

OH MY GOD

the gerudo lady is awake and she is. so tall oh my god

im gay

i am Gay

I Am Gay

oh, man. oh man

are they all so beautiful. so Strong. good god

i wish this village was bigger i could have happily stayed here for hours

omg

someone a long time ago was standing on a mountain that looked like a broken heart and was like, is this not the place to find your soulmate…? but i haven’t found mine yet

someone mentioned a similar legend here and on the map i see a mountain with a whole heart on it pfffft

im so sick of seeing these stone cirlces everywhere…i can’t blow them up..what do you DO with them? complete the pattern maybe??

oh my god it worked

i’ve passed by so many…how will i ever get all these seeds……..

i know the game wants me to sail here but i hate sailing, it’s tedious, i want to control my boat with the fucking control stick

holy fuck dude the sword im using is so strong?? it cut down a palm in a single swipe!!

the longer i play the more i hate the blood moon

oh no i found a hinox

i was going to avoid him but he has an orb….

idk where it goes tho so there’s no point there’s no point the blood moon will bring him back okay Okay

hes a red one anyway so no big, when the time comes

oh my god ANOTHER hinox with an orb

i bet they go to the twin shrines near the village

but i’m supposed to find a tablet before i do that…….i don’t wanna skip another quest like the zora helm also thats a Long walk jesus christ

NNNONONONO GOD

GUARDIAN THAT CAN WALK OVER THERE NO FUCKING THANKS SO GLAD IT DIDN’T SEE ME

so fucking glad

exploring is so dangerous Why

why do i suck SO much at combat

oooh a bokoblin camp with a black mobiln :/ Yikes

aaand bomb arrows takes care of THAT

i love seeing farosh flying around here but i can NEVER CATCH HIM

i was just a few minutes too late to getting him at a really good spot

but the dragons seem to take the same route over 24h, so there’s that

oh hey im back at green cloud plateau

okay Um am i crazy or did i just hear something roar? was that the wind??

oh god i see a question mark from here something already knows im close

oh ogd oh god why i bet it’s big and awful

IT’S A LYNEL LOL

i dont have any healing or defense stuff no way

oh no i think there’s a shrine up there where he is ): but i can’t get it

AND A HINOX RIGHT NEXT TO HIM? NO THANKS LOL

jesus i knew i’d die here

at least there’s no orb on this one

oh noooo more lightning god the storms here are brutal

omg i found shelter behind a waterfall and there’s the shrine i was sensing!! yes!!!!!

holy fuck im not safe here either i nearly just got fried

in the shrine we go holy shit

may the weather be better when i get out

damn i keep finding ore today… #blessed

I SAW FAROSH AGAIN HE WAS SO CLOSE BUT I WAS STILL TOO SLOW…okay they DEFINITELY take the same route everyday i think

or at least if not at the same time, the same places

ugh i went over to this one place and the weather turned to all lightning forever

KASS? HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU’RE GONNA GET FRIED

im so glad to see him ;_; it’s creepy out here

uh…i think…i have to get struck by lightning…on this hill…oh my god i’ll die???

maybe my lightning rod will work……? please…………..?

aaaaand it did nothing. great. ok

/saves game

……../dons metal armor weapons and shield

LMAO IT WORKED HOLY SHIT

oh my god im alive!!!! i had mipha’s grace just in case but i took an electric elixir

jesus FUCK

yes nice i didnt even have to do anything just get the…chest…….

B R O

i got rubber tights!!! electric resistance!!!!! NICE

ah and when i came out the storm was over :3

but kass is gone ): i wanted to tell him i figured out his song!!!

i knew i should have talked to him before i went in :/

lol i find a boat after playing in the water for 100 years…..not that i wouldve used it, but

aw i met and saved a traveling couple, i’ve saved them before

oh my gosh a STABLE!! all the way out here!!!!

THERE ARE PEOPLE

man i wondered what that couple was doing out in such a remote place

oh wow beedle gave me a single ancient arrow…apparently it deals huge damage even to guardians

maybe this is what the start screen meant by the right tools!!!!

but there’s only one…

robbie from akkala gave it to him…NICE i’ll remember

ah some guy here said there was something glowing at the top of floria waterfall…i gotta check that out

ooh a shrine back here too…nice

god there’s a chest in here that’s REALLY hard to get bc camera angles but it has an ancient core (looked it up) and i need one to upgrade my runes………smh

man…nah. im out. there will be other cores & this is crazy ridiculous

its just the stasis rune anyway and i use that one the least

five big hearty radishes means TWENTY FIVE EXTRA HEARTS

but you can only have a max of 30 lol so

AAAH HERE COMES FAROSH AND IM FINALLY AHEAD OF WHERE HE’LL BE OH MY GOD

I HIT HIM I HIT HIM

I FINALLY GOT A SCALE

almost died for it but. i got it. he throws electricity involuntarily and it’s major stuff i shoulda worn my rubber gear

i kinda wanna wait and see if i can get another……..but i have shit to do

holy shit farosh came back around & i got another scale…wish i could hit his horn

AAAH NO A GIANT STONE THING IS HERE….i have no idea how to fight them im leaving

well idk if the stone thing or the dragon or the shrine was what was supposed to be glowing up here but i don’t see anything new

im almost done exploring this province, actually

gotta walk along one beach and climb the heart mountain and that’s it!

a little tempted to grab my horse since it’s such an easy direct road, but i’d be getting on and off all the time ):

fml there’s a guardian on this beach…pls dont move pls dont pls dont

oh thank god its stuck in the sand

omg there was a chest in the sand but it WASNT A CHEST it was one of those yellow octoroks!!!! but!! i shot it! and got money!!!!!!!! #nice

NOOOO another stone thing!!

but you know the last one took a lot of damage from one accidental bomb so maybe

how do you fight it?? i can’t damage it???

OH OMG THE ORE THING!!! OKAY LET’S DO THIS SHIT let’s go i cooked up so much good food

oh my god i took him down in just a handful of bomb arrows…THATS what ive been running from?

not nearly as scarly as lynel tbh

and i’ve been marking the minibosses on my map so now i can look for jewels there if i ever need to

i found a fuckton in this region but lol i sold them all

i know one great fairy needs 10k rupees and like…..Yikes

im getting pretty good with my bow, i can hit far off targets bc i know how high to aim and shit

i’ve kind of been wondering what happens if you get to the edge of the map

but the wind gets so strong on the beaches i bet you just either run out of stamina if swimming or can’t make the boat get past it if sailing

but what happens if you get to a land edge though…?

i actually dislike getting to edges of maps haha it creeps me out. that disreality unrealization shit. no thanks

in la noire the edges of the map have u-turn streets and you realize the cars are all just on one endless track and no one is in them and no one ever goes home and you start to wonder if this actual universe is a simulation and it freaks you out

anyway.

omfg someone from the yiga clan selling bananas like i actually could have bought some if i wanted LMAO

he actually had me fooled for a moment even though i know what npcs named “traveler” mean

why do they all give me bananas when they die anyway………whats going on with this.

oh my god this dude at the heart shaped pond is in love with this gerudo lady here. and like. same oh my god she’s so Big

but lol you can choose to say “yeah talk to her” or “nope, rival time!”

me: aggressively wants to flirt with the gerudo lady but not in a straight way

pls this cutscene was so cute

but she deserves better than a weirdo like this guy

he like, gave me a twenty, and she fussed at him for being stingy, so then he have me a hundred, and THEN

HE ASKED FOR HIS MONEY BACK LMFAO no way fucknuts

wow and with that im All Done with this province O:

i mean yeah i got quests and shrines to come back and do, but i’ve SEEN everything, yk

maybe now i’ll go up to death mountain haha i feel so slow ): i hope what i saw and did made up for my slow story progress

whoa this weapons guy said he’d remake mipha’s trident if i ever broke it!! what a relief

ah i finally figured out the shrine puzzle by zora’s domain…gotta give that thing a dragon scale. but i like my dragon scales too much so i won’t. maybe later

oh hey the death mountain region tower! that was easy

uhhh what…is that

oh my god a FLYING GUARDIAN are you KIDDING me??? why???????

and they’re everywhere! fantastic!!! my ass is DEAD

oh okay this region is called akkala

at least i get guardian arrows here eventually :|

oh my god ONE SAW ME FUCK

oh my god

I RAN UP TO THE TOWER AND IT’S COVERED IN THE BLIGHT

what is that thing crawling all over death mountain?!

what is happening OH my god!!! so much!! everything!!! all at once!!!!!!!!

wait

that’s the divine beast

oh my god

oh my god.

oh my god it’s so big but even still it looks tiny in comparison to the mountain, oh my god

omg it gets cold up here only at night?? omg

NO there’s a still guardian up here too ;_;

i’m gonna try to kill it!!! good first try it can’t move and there’s cover RIGHT here

second try really but im stronger now

now, i have bomb arrows and lightning rods

ok lightning rod does nothing, bomb arrows dont work in the rain, but i killed it with shock arrows!!

and it wasnt v hard bc i was behind cover the whole time lol

but like, with those arrows - i used maybe 9 or 10? and that was all i used, i threw a couple of bombs at it too i guess

now to figure out how i even get IN here w/ all this gunk…..

fuck a bokoblin near a cooking pot saw me and accidentally set itself on fire lmao

ok i can’t climb past the blight, i tried, but how the fuck do i get rid of it i dont see any eyeballs )))):

……………………….w ait

this bokoblin has a shield with the hylian crest on it. the HYLIAN crest

these ruins have the red carpet with the double line of gold on the side

i’m crying this was someplace special

i don’t know what it was bc it can’t be the temple of time or hyrule castle but it was someplace real i recognize the style of it so faintly and it’s COVERED IN BLIGHT

oh my god………..this is so Much

ah ok a beam fell when i shot the first eyeball and i was like why arent there anymore?? but apparently i can magnesis it

oh wow i found a piece of a room…….totally trashed, jesus christ

must’ve been a lab or library

omg its thundering outside…..that has nothing to do with zelda but it makes this creepier

THERE’S A GUARDIAN AT THE TOP SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

its not alive tho thank christ

jesus fuck the divine beast is SO BIG and the mountain is still SO MUCH BIGGER i feel so tiny every time i look

anyway it’s 5am and there’s lightning so i gotta unplug for many reasons, this is a fine stopping place, can’t wait to get my ass kicked by that thing and rescue a goron, holy fuck

#loz blogging #botw spoilers #not too spoiler heavy bit a lil bit #personal #snap story incoming #this storm is gonna be a real humdinger #i worry all the time about my aunt's outdoor feral cat colony ):

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