#idk man I tried lol
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First Line Analysis
Rules: post the first lines of up to 10 of your last fics/chapters posted on AO3 or your WIPs and try to draw some conclusions.
Thank you to @majorbuckyegan for tagging me! This was fun and challenging!
1. DOGSTAR.
There’s a hole maybe the size of a quarter ripped in the screen door. Andy watches as two little fingers wiggle through it, the small hand they’re attached to curling up close behind them.
2. Want to See Nirvana/Don’t Want to Die Yet
I am not, Nate thinks to himself as he helps Brad fumble with the passenger-side door, I am not going back in time.
3. God Is a Bluegill
The next-day sun is beginning to pour dark blue light into the jailhouse through the little, barred window of Ray’s cell. The Sheriff sleeps with his feet crossed on top of his desk, his chin tucked into his chest; Ray watched him fight it for the better part of the night. His cellmate sleeps on his back with his gambler pulled on top of his face, his fingers laced perfectly over his chest. And the man in the neighboring cell hasn’t so much as moved since Ray was locked inside his own, earlier in the evening. Ray thinks he might be dead.
(I’m cheating here, a little. There is a small flashback before this scene in GIAB but I consider this to be the first line, really. Otherwise it’s just a baby Ray waking up with his mother.)
4. [untitled Doc Bryan Baby fic]
[Secret Character, Sorry] had this thing about naming babies after family, said it was bad luck. Said, who do you know that hasn’t ever fucked over anybody? Who in our family hasn’t been fucked someway?
5. [untitled BradRay Post OIF fic]
There are a few decent places to cry alone in the cigarette factory, but Ray hasn’t bothered to go find any. Instead he’s crying like a kid against the cinderblocks outside.
6. Some Things You Will Remember, Some Things Stay Sweet Forever
Winter’s comin’ in hard. Only October and the season’s first long drift of snow has blown over their village swiftly these past three days.
7. That Heavy Love
There is a moment, however small, when Brad returns to their attic room, in which the light of the oil lamps and the cotton of the bedclothes paint Nate like a dream-laden lover. Isn’t he beautiful?
8. Last of the Goldenrod
There’s a grave for the last morning glory that ever bloomed in Kilkenny. Before the last of them wilted, Maryanne clipped one clean and pressed it dry between the pages of a Bible, so that it left behind a purple stain, splotched somewhere in the middle of Psalms. Joe enlisted George’s help to break up a patch of their concrete backyard, to claw away the frozen dirt beneath until they had a hole deep enough to bury it inside of a shoebox.
9. Feel in My Bones Just What the Future Has in Store
Sun’s set just a few minutes ago but the end-of-summer sky is still holding onto some of its light. If they finish up now, Mike can get Judy and Tanya inside before full dark and before Cara gets too mad about pushing back their bedtime.
10. When a Man Is Also a Knife
The Arena can seat 5,526 spectators—maybe 200 more if one includes the standing room directly surrounding the ring—and as George bobs and weaves his way though the milling crowd of Philadelphia’s finest, most already drunk or well on their way, he finds that every single one of the 5,726 attendees is doggedly determined to shove themselves between him and his boss.
Tagging @z-ppy @disastrouscanasta @buckyclevens @lamialamia @gorgeousundertow @jenkil and anyone else who wants to join!
Analysis under the cut. Because it’s a lot of rambling on my part.
Okay, looking at all of these, any analysis seems really hard to do. Especially since I could choose whatever fics I wanted, I realized I was using the ones I liked the most, so there’s already some bias in here. But one thing I can say, I know whenever I’m writing something which I know will be the first line I am always thinking about a ‘hook.’ Will this first sentence be enough to get my reader to keep reading? With fanfiction, this is a bit easier. I don’t have to convince anybody to like my characters or like the dynamics or relationships, I just have to get them to like me. Which is sort of daunting, but I’d still argue easier than with original fiction.
I do notice that with fics like 3. 8. And 10. I am trying to be evocative of a very specific time/place, because these are all AUs. And I know the reader, especially with shorter AUs, needs much more information much more immediately than with other fics, in which I have time to feed info throughout. So those seem more concerned with environment, rather than character. Also seems to be the case with others lol. Even if the line is primarily about how a character is feeling, the first line still gives some information about the rest of the scene. (8. Kilkenny is a place, a town; 9. It’s evening, it’s summer; 2. Nate is in a car (lol))
Which makes sense when I think about it. I still have the hangup (I think other writers know this feeling) of wanting my readers to see my stories exactly as I see them. To be immersed, sure, but also to have the right angle, the right lighting. I need to remind myself that books (or fics) aren’t movies. It isn’t a visual medium. So, there’s something I could certainly work on.
Without hurting my brain with too much more thinking, I’ll leave off by saying that in general, I like these! And that’s a treat for myself. I want things I write to be colorful, I want them to be physical, and some of these really do the trick for me. (Key word: me. I already have the images of these scenes set in my head before I ever write them down. So it’s very possible for others not to see it that way).
But yeah, this was fun! And I’m always a slut for sharing lol ❤️
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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lil sebastian doodle page (ft my farmer)
#my farmer's a he/they like me kiss kiss#this man has overtaken my one remaining brain cell#i relate to him so heavily it's insane#i STRUGGLED figuring out how to draw his hair but seems i figured it out by the sitting one#that and the sleepy one are from today while the others are from the last few days#i've seen a lot of art where i feel like he's yassified too much so i tried to not do that#i love him just the way he is#stardew valley#stardew sebastian#sdv sebastian#sebastian x farmer#farmer star#sdv fanart#idk the tags lol#my art#doodles/sketches/wips#thanks to my cis male friend who answered my inquiry whether men can sit with their legs like that or not LMAO#the answer is basically yes but it's stressful
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Adler is a dog guy because he loves the obidence, affection and deference dogs show their masters regardless of how they are treated. A dogs owner is their entire world, they are reliant on them for everything and this is probably appealing for Adler and his need for control. Having a dog strokes his ego both because a dog is obedient and affectionate to it's master, which Adler thinks he is owed and because it affirms his sense of American masculinity. Adler would be one of those dog people that hate cats because you have to respect a cat's boundaries in order for it to love you and you can't control them like you can dogs. Adler likes Bell for the same reason he likes dogs.
#Adler is absolutely obsessed with image and with being the The (Capitalist) American Man™#we get a look into this from his various zombies and online voicelines.#IDK what the American™ breed to have was in vogue at the time but I could see him with something like a gshep#malinois or golden.#Because those are Real Dogs™ that Real American Men™ have.#This is to say that he'd also hate small dogs like Chihuahuas#Park also likes dogs but her relationship with them is fundamentally different than Adler's#She's both non American and a woman. There is no sense of masculinity that needs to be upheld.#She is however#a scientist and dogs a the trainable animal lol.#Bell was named after Pavlov's experiment for a reason.#She'd probably also vibe with cats though because they're chill like that.#Woods would also be one of those guys who says “If it's under 50 pounds it's not a real dog” and grumbles when you bring home a Shit tzu#but still falls head over heels for it. David catches them napping together and he tries to deny it later.#Anyway I think David should find a scruffy white little puppy with the crustiest eyes you can imagine and bring it home and beg Woods#to let him keep it And the dog absolutely ends up being Wood's dog first and foremost.#Can you tell I don't exactly have a charitable view of Adler's personality lol?#You can disagree with me that's fine#Russell Adler#Helen Park#bocw#cod#black ops cold war#black ops#call of duty#call of duty black ops#call of duty black ops cold war
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a buncha weirdos draw themselves
#zeno's art#ocs#reassassination#emery onion reliquary#very simple artstyle - kinda based off of the “emo artstyle” lol#vivica de la crux#anime artstyle. tweaked it a bit from last time to be more “bad” with some pillow shading lol#needles of the church#simple stickman. idk what to do man shes 8 how good do you expect her art to be#octavia krankenstein#simple but still stylized - she isnt the best artist but she still tries to put in a little effort#jaundice myers#once again another girl with a proper artstyle . probably makes comics of her killing people she doesn't like in her notebook#dr rigor krankenstein#i imagined he tried to draw something properly after like 5 years of never putting pen to paper for art#and scribbled it out 2 minutes later because he hated it#lunette strikewhite#not an artist lol#dr novocaine#actually a former cartoonist so she DOES have an artstyle as well!!!
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HAPPY NEW STAINMIGHT YEAR!!!
Santa Might and Stain the Elf except I wasn't able to do any art of em till Christmas and New Year so you all are getting those concepts :']
(if anyone wants me to yap abt them... Heh... Just lemme know and I will write a huge ass post 😼)



Bonus doodle from *looks at the date* OCTOBER??? damn...

#cj 24#I'm gonna miss this tag#art#doodle#school doodles#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#toshinori yagi#all might#stainmight#akaguro chizome#stain mha#hero killer stain#santa might#stain the elf#LMAOOOO HAHSHFHSHHD#I'm actually sobbing#this being my last 2024 post ain't helping it#I'm writing this as I sit under a dinner table xD#I wish I could draw smth to the new year but I was too busy sorry gang 😔#I'm too busy to even text my friends let alone draw and post#and I still have ton of art from this year that I didn't post#damn...#also fun fact abt last drawing#I tried to redraw a newer version since my skill have chbaged drastically plus the doodle was just to get the idea on paper#and so I tried to redraw it... and it looked like shit 😭 idk man the pose just didn't work and I didn't have time so yeah...#I never planned to post this doodle but here we are lol :P#anyways HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU ALL!!!
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shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do#someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world .#it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing#oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives#agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl#pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you..#and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun.#i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least..#the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!!#the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way....#btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats#coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined#travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc.#i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol#but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv#and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me#well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed*#obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on
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2024 Hungarian GP | x (edited)
#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#the (edited) is quite unnecessary as it is most readily apparent lol but!!#I tried to rotate it 45 degrees ish and my lack of photo editing skills leaves much to be desired#anyways arm 😵💫❤️✨#I fear I'll be in a perpetual state of missing him#but I'll be savoring memories of him like light from a star still reaching earth years after its gone out 🌠#also that's overly dramatic hehe a new journey awaits!!! and I will be excited if he wants to share it with us!!!#until then I'll be blogging like its 2017 at times hehe#omg I was looking up top 2017 tracks and man there were some bangers that year 👏😎#okay nostalgia trip over I've been meaning to write but tbh I got myself all needlessly stressed!!#2025 is the year of not adding so much undue stress on myself - it's keeping me from flying!!!#also 2025 goals include drinking more water and less coffee 😒 sigh hehe#hope everyone has a very wonderful last day of the year!!!!#enjoying time with friends or fam or favorite hobbies ❤️#off to another chapter!! I hope good things are in store!!! 🎁🎉✨❤️#also if you read this far then hello and also my silliest yearning is Dan comes in to replace Liam in the summer#even tho RBR does Not deserve him and the stress of the sport with travel and media scrutiny are so much#retiring at 35? a dream!! but I do wonder what the vibe will be like after DTS drops#it feels like a proper goodbye had yet to come...idk#I'm still excited for Carlos and Max and Lewis and new faves too but#ahh I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said before#and he himself said he's done!!! so! c'est la vie#not goodbye but see ya later (in supercars or as a globetrotting dashing sponsor or just kickin it on the farm)#I'm at peace with all for the most part!!! but I'll be missing what could've been all the same#anyways I should go touch some grass! I'll be back soon!!#thank you everyone for all the kind tags my heart is like 💖💞💓💗💕!!!!#I appreciate this space and y'all so much ❤️❤️❤️ onto another year together!!#many more memories to make!!!
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i have seen a lot of posts about lucanis & illario lately, that specifically call out that some of the things Lucanis says about him are kinda mean. usually in context of 'yes what illario did was fucked up but they BOTH went thru the fucked up training and lucanis says shit to him too' etc etc. and i'll be honest as someone who does have a contentious/estranged/very-low-contact sibling relationship. everything lucanis said came off as super mild to me and they should both be WAY nastier to each other actually. yes even when you include their dynamic in wigmaker job which was both more lighthearted And heartfelt. but like if you want realism they should be going from that to 1 minute later annoyed enough to break out the super cutting remarks dragging up the worst things the other has ever done/said, specifically becuause they know it will hurt the other most. then i would believe it more tbh.
#idk just personal late night musing as i fail to Sleep#i know the idea of those posts is ''both of them are kinda fucked so why does illario get all the blame (besides caterina)''#well illario tried to have him Killed and frankly i am astounded lucanis keeps it to simply 'its easy to look good next to him'#and 'could you?' or whatver that other one on the roofs is#yes even for CROWS the assassin group and all#idk man. if my sibling and i are in each others presence for more than a couple hours at family things i literally have to go punch walls#maybe if we got to see lucanis & illario actually have it out i would feel more ways about it with everyone else#but i'll be honest it came off to me as just pretty bland#been trying to mentally get more into illario bc he's all over my dash these days but i only see meta about how he could be Healed#and nothing bout how they should say the worst things in the world to each other and then deck it out. which is what i would like to see#so alas#ramblings#jade plays dav#lucanisposting#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#dragon age: veilgaurd#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#idk i just cant get worked up about lucanis' lines like that. they're so toned down. compared to what i am used to in Real Life lol#i do think the writers tried!! i just think it’s uhhhhh one of those dynamics that is really hard to capture unless you’ve Experienced it#i just think the lines we hear in game would be Nothing to illario compared to what they have assuredly already shouted at eaxh other in the#past
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I finally finished up entropy zero 2 yesterday! really liked it, enjoyed it a bit more than the first game haha
really liked the ending too and the way you could choose what to do. loved the G-Man speech ofc. but I had a weird glitch at the end where after killing the advisor I was just floating around and could barely control myself lmao... that resolved itself after reloading but damn was it funny to see G-Man talk as if nothing's going on while I'm just fighting for my life to not float off into space
#artemis rambles#REALLY loved the gman scene. i knew there was one but i tried not to spoil myself too much (failed bc i knew he showed up at the end again)#if i may rant a bit more in detail: i really liked G-Man's animations and expressions! his eyes looked so odd but so cool#his voiceactor also did such a good job omg... like damn#like... idk if it was just me but gman seemed so friendly with 3650... even calling him mr walker#then the way he interrupted himself and said 'oh... no not this time'...#made me think of the way mike shapiro mentioned gman can see multiple points in time at once#i wonder what he saw in that moment... maybe gordon being freed from the vorts in ep1? what did you see old man?#i know ez2 plays during ep2 but.. i think time doesnt matter to gman in that way#idk im just rambling lol. im kinda drunk too so i might just be talking shit
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sushi rags on me bc i play love and deepspace in english, but i don't know man... caleb's voice has been growing on me and i will love that white man for who he is!!! LOOOL
#AHAHAHAHA#I JUST LIKE TO DO OTHER THINGS WHILE I LISTEN TO STUFF IN THE BG OK!!#LET'S NOT THINK TOO DEEPLY ABOUT IT#he's the type of white man who will call your parents mom and dad in your native tongue and he's already adopted into the family#eat more eat more! the parents say as they stuff his plate w second helpings#they will talk about marriage and children w him and instead of being weirded out he's like OH yea that's definitely in the books#gonna be the only white man at the function!#like caleb seems like the type of guy your family would like and be impressed with#xavier seems like the quiet partner but still generally liked and doted on#they would also stuff xavier's plate full too... say he needs to eat more to be stronger#but they're unaware of the muscles he has beneath the comfy hoodies he wears#so like when they asked if he could like do some physical work they're surprised how easily he handles it#he tries to help with the cooking but... ya... also think that kids would tease xavier LOL like he looks like he'd get bullied#by the nieces and nephews u know... but then they play games w him and he's relentless#get their asses beat in fortnite or something like that LOL#don't get me started on the cousins that will try to covet those men!! i swear!!! LOOOL#idk why i'm thinking about how they would be like at family gatherings... LOL i'm v hungry tho... excited to see what's for dinner...#x
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... But you can't tell that flower "I want you to understand me"
#Gojo#gojo satoru#Satoru gojo#jujustu kaisen#Jjk#Gojo comeback copium is so strong within me I can't let this print and pixel man go#He deserves EVERYTHING and MORE#To be understood and loved as Gojo Satoru and not as the strongestttt#Please let the camelias mean smth lol#I doubt they do but it's fun to imagine#My art#illustration#artists on tumblr#I tried my best to give home that impish little grin idk idk#Comeback to the story u menace
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riptide hadestown au. you agree.
#my post#my art#just roll with it show#jrwi riptide#albatrio#chip jrwi#jay ferin#gillion tidestrider#uhh making a human gillion design was so difficult but i didnt want him to randomly be a fish man in this. so.#i tried#also i put the bandana around his head instead of his neck to like. take the place of the coral lol#anyways every time i listen through hadestown i picture it with these guys as orpheus eurydice and hermes and it makes me cry#smiles!! its fun#the bit where orpheus sings part of his song and. admittedly ive never seen the show idk what happens but SOMETHING magical happens#and eurydice is like awestruck...#during the loffinlot arc when gillion DECIMATED those beetles and then healed chips curse and chip just stared at hime like '...who ARE you#yeah. yeah.#im not even like a big fnc person they just fit into orpheus and eurydice pretty well
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it happened so fast and suddenly the only thing i saw was you
Callum is a sad boi when he can't cuddle Rayla anymore at the Starscraper lmao
Callum liked to think of himself as in-tune to his feelings. He was aware of when he was a jerk–which was frequent, but that’s what the Jerkface Dance was for–aware of when he was being less than clever, and aware of when he needed to take some medicine and a cold shower.
He certainly knew when he ought to be ashamed of himself.
He certainly shouldn’t be disappointed by the size of the bed, he should be grateful for the space and a pillow to himself, but all he could think of was how much he missed Rayla in his arms and him in hers at night, cozied up together solely for purposes of not freezing to death in their one sleeping roll after the other had fallen below the ice.
The blankets over his shoulders and pillow he hugged, because he just needed something to grasp, in no way made up for Rayla there.
And it was even more ridiculous because she was right there. Not even two feet away from him. Her back to him, silver hair splayed out on her own pillow catching the moonlight, she was close by. More than close by. He could still smell her, hear the little noises she made and feel how the mattress swayed with every breath she took. If he closed his eyes, Callum could fool himself into thinking it was her in his arms instead of the lemon-scented pillow.
He groaned and strangled the pillow even more, punching it down in frustration. This impossible girl shouldn’t be consuming his every waking thought, especially not when the fate of the entire world was on their shoulders, but he just couldn’t help it.
Damn hormones.
Bleary-eyed, Rayla tossed her shoulder over her head to look at him. “Callum? You okay?”
And of course he’d gone and woken her up.
“Yeah,” he said, attempting a reassuring smile. “Sorry to wake you up.”
Her eyes crinkled at the corners, and she rolled over to graze her fingers over his side. His breath hitched, but her movements didn’t stall. “Trouble sleeping?”
“I…” Callum swallowed, and her eyes dropped to watch how his throat bobbed, only serving to make it even drier. “It’s weird. So much space,” he said lamely.
“Well, we don’t have to take advantage of it,” Rayla said simply, offering an easy fix to a loaded situation, something decidedly much less chaste than just last night and the few before. Those times, there hadn’t been a choice–at least that’s what Callum told himself, sure Rayla was doing the same–but now? There was. They were choosing to keep doing what they’d been doing, sharing space and blankets and body heat, all pressed up together.
Callum turned so his back faced her, allowing her to draw him back into her chest and lace their fingers together in front of his stomach, allowing her to rest her chin on the top of his head. Allowing them to be close for no reason other than being close.
“Rayla?” he whispered.
“Hmm?”
He squeezed her hand tighter, tried to press them as close together as possible. Not that close would ever be close enough. “I missed you.”
He hadn’t said that yet. There hadn’t been a right time. Because missing her and loving her could go hand-in-hand but didn’t have to. It was much more important to love her.
And missing her was part of loving her.
Rayla’s breath hitched, the movements of her chest halting against his back for just a quick second.
“I missed you, too.”
#i so badly wanted to make this m+ but i COULDN'T#so here have some fluff and use your imaginations ig#ficlet#my fic#tdp#the dragon prince#rayllum#pining callum lol#so down bad#fanfic#fanfiction#tdp s6#tdp fanfic#tdp spoilers#bc starscraper? idk man i dont wanna get doxxed#tried to focus on emotions more in this; lmk how i did!#i need someone to look at me the way he looks at her#god im jealous#mine
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I thought i escaped sims 4 but it's dragged my dumbass back again.
I hate this game. I need so many mods just to be able to just to fix it so i can play without being frustrated. but no matter how frustrated i get, i keep coming back : /
Anyways! Like my new little me? (i forgot what they're called. Avatar? *Shrug*) I'll put some more stuff (and doodles) about them under the cut
They're a candle! The body and oversize hoodie are all the wax and the undercut ponytail is the little flame (like Ember from Danny Phantom lol). Her feet are kinda goopy and her hands never show b/c the sleeves of the hoodie drip over them (sometimes driping off completely.)
i got kinda bored with my old one (drawing me but purple) so they got a little upgrade for my silly little personal doodles.
That is all : )
#random stuff#my doodles#idk what to call this#i will answer asks tomorrow#i started to do so today#but ran out of words halfway through#unfortunately i discovered the ultimate decades challenge in sims 4#which is fasinating me atm b/c it adds dice rolls to see if your sims live into each lifestage#and also the whole keeping track of how many years pass#i might keep this style of gameplay b/c i really like seeing how much time passes#and beign able to use my dice to add some randomness to my game is fantastic#it's been about 35 years in my game so far (with every 4 sim days being an approximate year)#my starting sim is now an exhausted 47 yo man#he had recently handed off his 'head of family' title to his only surviving son#but then the son died so he had to take it back#(i'm really hoping his grandson makes it to adulthood or i won't have an heir)#i'm pretty excited for the life and death expansion coming out soon#it goes well with this game since i'm gonna need those funerals lol#(also saw that your sims can have a baby with the grim reaper and that certainly has my attention : ) )#(that was one of the first things i tried to do when i first got the game)#(and i was so mad that it didn't work lol!)
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asaden from november
#my first asaden art :')#they're my cutie patooties 4vr#also idk if you can see it but i tried to write shirt sword in japanese on asa's sword lol#asaden#asa mitaka#denji#csm#chainsaw man
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