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bladekindeyewear · 4 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself. i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he? like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it. So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit. That’s yet another way to put it. Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today? cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad! Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything. --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects. That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place. The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers. This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth? or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be. :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2. So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations. Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for? Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues. And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit. Karkat’s limited lifespan. As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation. We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we? >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus. I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason. Which it won’t! Right??? >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck. I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry. God damnit. SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!! *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends. That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true. What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this? It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm. Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy? Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff. He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much. <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!! Point taken. Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome. I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up. :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice. Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat. See y’all next time!

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Breath and Blood #Light and Void

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lucatorahaven · 4 years

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vampire au post

4 skype convos haphazardly mixed in from very different times

[29/11/2014 4:27:51 AM] Probably Not Assorted Cheeses: Vampire au

Lucas the incompetent vampire who eats mostly animals

Duster was the one who bit him, only bc duster was literally starving n lucas came at a bad time

idk if duster should be born a vampire or not but Wes is one too and together they taught lucas how to survive.

however eventually they had to leave, they offered for lucas to join them but lucas can’t leave his family behind, the kid’s too sentimental :’(

so together they staged his death (which im too lazy to try n think of)

claus knew bout the vampire thing tho, lucas couldn’t live alone like that. He also ended up biting Boney in an accident so hey vampire dog.

claus grew up and eventually had his own family. Lucas could only really watch from afar but then the kids got his age and it was hard to see him and keep the gig up. He visited his parents funeral anonymously and afterwards him and claus stood there just

“sup” “how’re the kids” “twice your age and with kids of their own” “heh, i always thought you would be the one with kids yano?”

it was very bittersweet, it felt like they’ve never been apart

“it never stops feeling strange without you” "I know”

lucas thinks of that conversation a lot

he started off the "younger uncle" then the "weird neighbourhood kid that visits grandpa claus" and inevitably the "weird kid from nowhere who goes to the cemetary every other month to put flowers on graves older than appears to be"

SO without attachments lucas traveled with boney, hoping that they find duster along the way.

eventually lucas comes back to tazmilly but it’s been a couple hundred years now and it’s completely different so he doesn’t recognize it

n lucas one day is caught outside with no shelter, it’s almost morning so he runs into osohe (which is way outta town so he assumed it was abandoned)

vampires can’t enter homes without being invited in because apparently homes are holy land but osohe is fuckn haunted so that doesn’t apply (adding on to the abandoned theory)

that’s how kumatora and him meet, she finds him exploring osohe all “wtf the fuck who are YOU...this me house”

So she gets an awkward lie explanation from lucas

n she eventually catches on lucas is a vampire n is just DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE I NEVER MET A VAMPIRE BEFORE FUCKN SWEET

lucas is just UM.;;; IS IT OK IF I STAY

"oh dude it's cool!! but u gotta tell me bout yourself bc i never met a vampire before ok?? i live iN THE PERFECT GOTHIC HOME BUT THERE’S NONE!! but here you are and i’m JACKED i gotta go to work tho so brb but afterwards u gotta tell me about yourself ok CYA"

lucas is still processing everything by the time she leaves, but he’s grateful and figures a conversation is the least he can do to repay her

in this au kumatora’s into cryptology bc her house is FULL of books and it’s a common subject (also the fact her castle is filled with ghosts and there are zombies just across the moat, it’s a p convenient hobby)

when she comes back she’s super excited because he’s still there

lucas is kinda reserved but he still answers questions bc it’s POLITE

she asks bout p much everything?? “HEY do you need that” “y-yes” “is this true?” “not that i know of” “ok experiment time” “uH;;” “wait am i keeping you up?? it’s still daytime” “no it’s okay”

after exhausting lucas of all his Vampire Facts kuma invites lucas to live at osohe castle, it’s big enough anyways

lucas is wary af bc he doesn't wanna accidentally get close to someone who 1. has a life span and 2. is technically food

but lucas ends up sticking around anyways, boney really likes it and he lowkey enjoys her company

so they keep chillin n lucas tells her how he hunts animals n how he only takes a bit of blood so they don't die and

IDK I GO BY THE THEORY THAT VAMPIRES HAVE VENOM bc otherwise their entire food source becomes COMPETITION n they can bite but not?? TURN THEM INTO ANYTHIng so controlled blood flow for feeding purposes

also vampires only need to eat once or twice a month? they die around 6+ months without eating from starvation. It all depends on how quickly the blood cells in their body die basically.

ALSO when they bite you it doesn’t hurt bc their saliva numbs it so (sneaky bites) but it still feels weird as shit

bUT YA SO LUCAS N KUMATORA CHAt a whole bunch...you know that “accidentally get close” thing i mentioned? it happened

(it was kinda hard to avoid when the first companion you have that’s not your dog is informed on vampires and vampire goods, that was convenient)

so they keep hangin out and kumatora unlocks his Tragic Backstory

n sometimes kumatora helps him feed? like they go out together finding animals n storing blood

n lucas is fascinated with how technology has advanced bc he doesn't really?? go into towns anymore but he fuckn LOVES it

n they play video games n general COOL FUNTIMES

kumatora let’s lucas borrow her labtop to occupy himself and he looks for other vampires or hints of them

(this is under the assumption that osohe can get electricity in a modern au while still being ignored / abandoned)

n when kumatora goes to work he cleans up the castle n tries to show how much hE REALLY APPRECIATES HEr

n lIKE i also go by the logic that vampires do not do the stereotypical “turn into ashes at sunlight” it is a slow progression that takes up to 12 hours until absolutely turned to a crisp

so basically if he covers himself and wears a shit ton of sunscreen he can chill in the middle of the day for like...a hour or two

and bc kumatora's WORTH IT he visits her at work n she's all LucAS WHAT ARe yO U DoING??

lookin like a modern goth kid......has a huge red burn on his cheek..

he blames it on how pale/blonde he is “my brother is ginger you know”

kuma gets super worried n he's all bruh it cool i have like..2 more hours until i need to go to a hospital

n kumas jsuT I GET OFF IN 4 HOURS GO HOME

kumatora invites him to movie nights with her friends n shit

people start calling lucas kumatora's goth boyfriend “never call him that when he's around or i'll murder you”

theyre all rather cool with lucas and find his speech kinda funny?

"wow look at those teeny boppers" "GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY GOD I LOVE IT" “???????????????" kumas friends ask for lucas more all WHAT SCHOOL DOES HE GO TO WHERE DOES HE LIVE "oh he's......foreign B)"

eventually it comes up how lucas doesn’t really want to be a vampire anymore and kumatoras just “dude i can help you find a cure” bc maybe her hobby is a bit Excessive but live your dreams

but ya lucas is just?? constantly wants to visit kumatora n loves her night shifts!! visits all the time they go on hikes a lot n jusT? GETS SO FUCKIGN ATTACHED IT SCARES HIM CONSTANTLY

they sometimes fall asleep on the couch together n when he's all "wow shes so cute.." he realizes how fucking Deep he’s in this and he’s FUCKED

he tries to distance himself but he Can’t Fucking Do It (just like w/ his fam)

whenever he tries to push her away she looks so upset it kills him

N HE'S IN SUCH A STRUGGLE BC HE'S JUST

SO HAPPY TO BE AROUND HER??????

N LIKE WHEN THEY CUDDLE N STUFF HE'S JUST SO OVERWHELMED BC oh my god heartbeats!! oh my god she's gonna die before me

n lucas really fucking feels the severity of how FUCKED he is when its her birthday n hes just

yes she's gonna age and he's gonna outlive her n they could never realistically be happy even if by some offhand chance she even RETURNS the feelings

N HE HAS TO HIDE HIS CRYING N STUFF BUT KUMATORA HAS A 6TH FUCKN SENSE FOR DISTRESSED LUCAS SO SHE'S ALL bruh :( whats up

so he opens up to her about his feelings and anxiety and she hugs him through it, it’s kind of a shitty way to confess

“idk if i can forgive you for deciding that i’m gonna die before you” “are you threatening murder” “that and no way death’s gonna get me, i’m pretty stubborn”

a lil while passes

“you know... i’m okay with becoming a vampire” lucas refuses bc dude.. you can’t even comprehend the weight of immortality.. what if she regrets it

“to hell if i make my closest friend suffer because of a life span” “hah i guess that’s the same for me”

they drop the vampire topic for the time being and move on to other ones such as... mutual feelings :^)

they’re both romantically inclined i mean... lucas spent 300+ years being a hermit and kumatora had other things to do

so they take it slow, it’s p much the same as before except.. hey...now when i think “man i wanna hold their hand” i CAN

it'd also be really sad and/or cute if the ghosts in the castle some of them were lucas's family which might be why boney likes it so much but also imagine them kissin on the couch "kuma ghosts r there" "EH THEYRE JUst ghosts" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) claus looks into the camera "after so long... finally my little brother gets some action :')"

but idk if that’s a thing bc it feels kinda weird i feel like kissin n shit wouldn't b very often bc as much as they both loVE IT

IT'S NOT THAT GREAT FOR A VAMPIRE

YANO.... HEARTS R BEATING... NECK IS RIGHT THERE (lucas still adores it tho)

so back to the topic of Mortality

kuma gets attacked in an alley on the way home from work

n lucas finds her bc they were gonna meet up but he smelt the blood and when he does find her he just goes FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK n didn't know how to save her

also thinking rationally is hard when OH LOOK AT ALL THAT BLOOD AHhaHA

SO HE BITES HER

he carries her body home n he spends the whole waiting process between DEAD and VAMPIRE crying just "hoyl shti please work please work" “what did i fucking dooooo” “what if i was earlier” “what if i was too late” so many anxieties

kuma wakes up and lucas transistions from panic to HAPPY PANIC OH THANK GOD

she’s really out of it bc of the process and he’s crying apologies “it’s okay you saved me” but he’s still crying, they cuddle for comfort

"hey atleast we did it NOW when i'm a hot sexy 19 yr old and not a wrinkly old lady” “kuma” “i’m tryna make light of the conversation”

so now that kumatora’s a vampire she only works night shifts until she eventually quits. They moved to a new town / whatever so it was easy to avoid having to meet someone in the daytime. facebook helped keep in touch with her friends while still letting the friendship die out.

it took kumatora a bit to get used to being a vampire. she threw up a lot at first and she didn’t like having to drink blood but she did eventually get used to it

idk if they find a cure bc idk what the cure would BE but they eventually find other vampires :^) they continued lucas’s search for duster and probably found him tbh

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ad1thi · 5 years

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avengers endgame

this film ruined me

don’t get me wrong

i loved the film

but it ruined me

i don’t know how to function in a world where tony stark is gone

i genuinely don’t

i’m not ready for a marvel cinematic universe where he isn’t there anymore

but i just

i needed somewhere to write down how i feel about this film

so here it is:

(spoilers under the cut)

(sorry guys i couldn’t help myself)

thoughts about the film in (mostly) chronological order:

i said this ages ago and it was very satisfying that carol saved tony. and i love tony and nebula’s soft friendship so much and i wish we could’ve seen more of it

the naked happiness and surprise on nebula’s face when tony says that she won makes me cry so much, because she’s so used to always losing and here is this man who she’s never met before who is completely okay w her winning (her own sister wasn’t okay w her winning)

i love that carol saved tony, but i hate that rhodey wasn’t the first person to get to tony. don’t get me wrong- my stevetony heart jumped out when steve ran up to him and wrapped his arms around him, but a huge visceral part of me wishes that it had been rhodey

i hated seeing tony that thin. i know that it was necessary and it fits, but it broke my heart

i loved the continuity of this film. tony has been saying for years that there’s a bigger threat out there and they all dismissed him as paranoid and now this bigger threat came and killed half the universe and tony? tony almost died in space. the anger and pain in that scene, the way he singles out steve and thrusts the arc reactor on him before collapsing, that scene gives me vindictive pleasure

i also really appreciate clint’s arc in this. i feel like a rogue merc assassin who singles out mobsters that survived the snap that claimed his family is very in character for him

scott and cassie’s reunion made my heart soar

and i should say; this film is the first avengers film where the characters give tony the respect he deserves

the fact that they first turn to tony for help; the fact that neither steve nor natasha try to pressure him or manipulate him into helping; the fact that steve trusts his plan almost immediately; thats the deference tony deserved from film 1 and i’m glad he finally got it

this film gave steve a personality- yall have no idea how long i’ve waited for steve rogers to have a personality. this is the first film where we see steve rogers instead of captain america(TM) and it makes me sad that its taken that long

THOR’S BEER BELLY IS EVERYTHING. that is how normal people (and asgardians apparently) mourn

but i have to say, this film didn’t acknowledge loki at all and i think thats so shitty given that ragnorak paved for their relationship

i wish there had been some acknowledgment that thor was mourning loki as well

like him stopping in front of loki’s prison for a second, or him mentioning his brother in passing

this film found me asgardian family trope baited and i don’t appreciate that

i wish we’d had more rhodey&nebula scenes and more tony&nebula scenes, but i am happy with what i had

i have to say though, the film script was very well done everything tied together really well and nothing seemed particularly forced or out of place

NATASHA DYING THOUGH

that

that broke me

i mean, it makes sense, since natasha and tony were the first 2 avengers introduced to the mcu and so they should be the ones to die (in this house we don’t acknowledge the incredible hulk as a film) but that still took me by surprise

i wish they’d done it differently though

i wish clint and natasha hadn’t fought, i wish that clint would’ve walked with her to the end of the cliff, held her close and then just let go

i feel like the fight cheapened it, and tried to add this shock effect that just didn’t exist

clint has a family, i always knew it was going to be natasha

steve, tony, thor- i was prepared fo; but natasha blindsided me

speaking of steve and tony

there were so many stevetony moments in this film?

tony yelling at steve after he comes back from space

tony quipping w steve 5 years later “i miss that giddy optimism”

steve appreciating that tony is risking his daughter’s life for this hell mission- and acknowledging that

“do you trust me?” “i do”

ALSO TONY SPENDS HIS TIME STARING AT STEVE’S ASS i gotta say when you’re staring at another fella’s ass it means you’re gay them’s the rules

BEFORE I FORGET

THAT SCENE WITH HOWARD

im in 2 minds about it

because

don’t get me wrong; i hate howard stark

but this is about tony

and i think there’s something very cathartic about the fact that tony got to see his dad as the person people said he was, instead of the man who abused him all his life

and idk i feel like he needed that

i’ve gotta be honest though, i feel robbed of an edwin jarvis and tony scene. edwin jarvis was the man that raised tony, not howard- and i so wish he could’ve gotten a chance to talk to the man one last time

one of the biggest losses in the MCU is when tony loves JARVIS, the AI that’s been with him through everything; and i genuinely feel like it would’ve been more appropriate for him to talk to Edwin rather than H*ward

the irondad and spiderson feels jumped out in this film too

i genuinely believe that this film was the penultimate in tony’s arc; because everybody else is fighting for the casualties they can’t see but tony is fighting the casualty he did see

tony stark is fighting for peter parker and peter parker alone and you can not change my mind

everybody else is avenging the world, tony stark is avenging his son

which is why i adore that scene in the final battle where tony cuts peter off mid sentence to give him a hug and i just -

tony stark’s death ruined me

it genuinely broke my heart

and i think its very “full circle” that he says ‘i am iron man’ and that rhodey is the first person to reach him after he uses the stones, that pepper says “its okay we’ll be okay you can rest now”

that line is so important because tony was fighting for them. for his spiderkid, for his wife, for his bestfriend, and he can rest knowing that he saved their lives

speaking of the final battle though, i genuinely don’t appreciate the implication that steve is worthy enough to wield Mjolnir

idk

something about that rubs me wrong

and as much as i love steve’s ending scene and the fact that the shield goes to sam (bucky letting sam go see old!steve?? that moment between them?? i love that) i genuinely believe that the film should’ve ended with tony’s funeral

i do not appreciate that wendy bitchimoff got her own scene because i do not appreciate wendy bitchimoff

that should’ve been clint and steve; because natasha and steve’s friendship is literally one of the only good things to come out of steve’s arc in the mcu

anyway

the film should’ve ended with morgan asking for cheeseburgers

because this mcu belongs to tony stark

and this film is the only avengers film where tony is given his due

and it is only the film where he dies

so excuse me

while i go cry

#avengers endgame #avengers 4 #adi rants #avengers: endgame spoilers #avengers: endgame reactions #adi analyses #adi sobs #her fkn heart out

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theskyexists · 5 years

Text

she-ra season 3

i LOVE scorpia

this show has a bit of tonal issue in my opinion. they keep going back to a very teen-parent relationship between the trio and mum - when there’s a terrible war on.

people get killed but generally it really does just feel presented like a game or a fight about curfew and sometimes thats a bit jarring. (or is it strange to expect the graveness of situations to bring out a quality of sincerity even during puberty?)

i don’t really understand why Adora would jump to the conclusion that Shadoweaver showing up means she’s changed

but Adora, you ARE stupid. lol

but the rest is too. ‘don’t listen to her Adora’ why not? is it so terrible to be from another world? the stakes are quite murky

Entrapta’s comments really go to show how shit of a leader Hordak really is. HOw the hell did he manage to create this empire when he’s so damn incompetent? OOOHHHHHH CATRA SAID IT!!! just after i wrote that sentence she SAID IT

Hordak is an idiotic beserker

so why didn’t they take their unicorn flying steed?

‘well yeah - but you said that while saving us - so - you can’t be all bad. what do ya say’

i love the voice actor for Adora lolololol. she is clearly having SO much fun.

and Adora has a small crush on Huntara and absolutely ruins her chances with the barmaid by popping up. totally did not expect that voice for Huntara tho

entraptak is.....real. wtf. it’s.....cute. Hordak is just trying to be Prime. Failing at it miserably, lashing out. jfc it’s an endless cycle isn’t it.

‘know about she-ra? ahahahaha! I AM she-ra!’ THAT WAS BADASS. i love it when Adora is being rowdy and cocky

oh wow reversed chin-tilt with sword, and then lifting her head and soulful look? She-Ra really has chemistry with ALL the Princesses.

I LOVE scorpia. i loved that moment when Catra pushed her away nobly - i love how Catra has plausible deniability to herself. Love how the narrative reinforces that Catra is literally the most competent person around etc. (if they could get her for the Rebellion it would be over and out but hey)

surely Mara cut Aetheria off to save it from Hord-Prime’s war? Light-Hope wanted She-Ra to join the other She-Ra’s (’this world’s she-ra’) in the battle but she decided to hide the world and people she loved, breaking most of the magic-tech system. What I don’t understand is - the First Ones lived on Aetheria, but the people that populate it now are a different quality of organics, they can only survive in a specific atmosphere. The princesses are living components in the balancing of the tech-magic system...what are the people of the world? We don’t realise this most of the time, but all of them except for princesses, are animal-humanoids (and...kyle.....). What does this mean? Did the animal life unintentionally evolve? Were they an underclass - simply part of the system? (seems too edgy for this show).

‘why was i taken from my family? why was i forced to become a soldier?’ this line was GOOD

yesss!!! Mara! i love her already.

Scorpia is blushing lol. I am also liking Catra being completely off her shits careless and powerful.

Catra and Scorpia bonding yesssss!!!

ohhhhhHHH the magic of the planet is something of Aetheria itself! the tech is just latched on??? First Ones were colonisers (’settlers’)! but AETHERIA is what’s dangerous to the rest of the universe!!! (because it can be used as a weapon??) probably Aetheria would die as a result?

‘maybe it’s been a week, maybe it’s been thousands of years’ that is so fuckin sad

Catra being so hung up on acknowledgement is her greatest tragedy.

wow Scorpia really proposed a super cool thing and it could rearrange Catra’s WORLD

I want this show to stop repeating the same cycle after this last one time of Catra going: WAAAAHHH Adora made my life so hard now im going to do something inadvisable that might destroy us all as payback

Adora’s greatest tragedy is that she’s so self-centred that she doesn’t understand Catra at all.

if they have Angella and Glimmer fight and then have her mum die before they’ve made up i’ll be very upset (i’m not really loving Glimmer and Bow in this so far - they’re toeing the edge of annoying). and the fights about having to have plans and fighting or not fighting due to the fear of losing people - that’s always been uhhhh - well they always got away safe with shit plans and i just really don’t think that they’re meshing the commander-queen and daughter-mother stuff well. because there’s literally NO ONE ELSE in charge. there’s some magical queen and some villagers and a barely present guard. where’s the court, the advisors, anybody??

it would be silly to trust Shadoweaver (she did mercilessly torture you - no psychological effects from that stupidly enough), but i am hard-pressed to think of a reason she’d betray them.

still don’t understand how Frosta went from icy, frosty queen to idk a kid. i mean she can be both, but it was weird to see no uhhhh connection at all

I think this show is about how every single character is held back by their inability to grow and grow closer to others. Glimmer has disobeyed Angella SO often, why is she surprised at all? Why can’t she be honest and say: I am afraid! I am afraid I will lose you! I am afraid of that pain and I want you to take the risks seriously, to plan for them. I want to protect you!

That Glimmer would work with her torturer is of course a ridiculous notion. that is to say - if that kind of thing was properly given weight.

why fight Catra??? Why not just teleport to Hordak’s inner sanctum?? it’s stupid. why waste all the damn power

glad entrapta finally heard from Adora that she didn’t mean to leave her behind though.

‘you can’t fight them they’re too strong!’ ?? Glimmer just got sucked dry tho? like what. the way this show always postpones its fights on shitty pretexts is ....acceptable but pretty roll-eye-y

Catra burning all her bridges.

“there’s no choice” fucking bullshit, just teleport lol.

lol Catra feeds the anti-princess propaganda right back to Hordak. that’s poetic but jfc i really hope next season is going to be a little less *shuffles deck, cards end up in a million different hands, literally all cards feel betrayed*

so catra is willing to pull the annihilation switch on the universe just to one-up Adora just this once LOLLLL. if only somebody hadn’t ingrained a deeply seated inferiority complex in this cat

anyway i want her to feel the consequences of all that for a change

that animation on everything going VWWWWWWOOOOOOMM darkness was awesome

OHHHH the next episode has an awesome premise.

can i just say that i LOVE this episode. it’s so damn creepy and cool and kind of nostalgic. and i LOVE that it’s Scorpia and Adora who are remembering things - the ones closest to Catra. AND THEN THEY BOND!!!! and hold hands!!!!

reliving the betrayals. love the way the memories hit people, the way Catra goes from her old self, their playfulness, their casual violence ratcheting up at each other because that’s how they’ve been trained - to defend themselves, and then - the true Catra, the hysteria, gone so far off the deep-end. “i’d rather let the whole world be destroyed than let you win.” geeze that’s rooted deep.

angella and mica are so cuteeee. but angella really hasn’t changed has she? no tolerance for difficulty. she honestly is a bit of a shit queen. thought that was bc of grief and trauma but eh

he puts a truth spell on her but then he doesn’t believe her? does he think she’s crazy?

don’t think i’ve ever shipped something as hard in this show as Mica/Angella. i just LOVE royal woman x good man apparently. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. god why didn’t she kiss him on the lips>????

oh SHIT, MARA IS STILL TRAPPED INSIDE THE PORTAL LIKE ENTRAPTA SAID - THAT’S WHY SHE SAID: HAS IT BEEN A DAY OR THOUSANDS OF YEARS?

so...is there a reason that Angella is not faded?

wow that speech about bravery and cowardice. she truly. TRULY, ok they made something of her. I HATE losing Angella because the voice acting is INCREDIBLE. but that was actually an amazing end. (and she got to see Mica for the last time, at least)

ok so if i lost my mum forever i would be SCREAMING in pain but i guess these itsy bitsy tears from Glimmer will do?

that look of pure determination and anger and mercilessness in Adora’s eyes at Catra? nice. wish Catra didn’t go into a sulk at it but kept her goddamn FEAR (Adora was totally right, she vanquished another demon from her past - everything Catra did, she CHOSE to do. and her keeping on blaming others is simply - cowardice)

#anyway #that was a very good season #but i am not sure about this glimmer and angella thing #it still feels totally fuckin #weird #even more so now #kdslabf #sdjabj #sdjakfj #my stuff #she ra #vidi

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aro-aizawa · 5 years

Note

Tell us about your AUs!! I’m curious!!

!!!!! an interested person???? hi anon i love you know that i would die for you without hesitation. bless you for letting me gush over my aus. this might be a lil messy (and long holy shit) considering im answering from my phone but from memory here are my aus (which i aint gonna lie are mostly either angst, hurt/comfort or canon divergent, or a mix of the three) in no particular order:

edit: now that im on computer it’s all under the cut but here’s a quick table of contents:

the one where hisashi is a pro hero

the one where hisashi is a villain

underground gladiator arena kidnap fic

the one where aizawa is inko’s brother

MUTE TODOROKI

izuku is related to all for one

gamer au

the one where uraraka is the protag instead

hp au

disney aus galore

the Spite™️ fic

the one where hisashi is a pro hero

heads up in literally none of my aus is midoriya hisashi a good parent. i mean in canon we know exactly three details about him being his name, his quirk and that he works abroad. that’s it. so, i don’t really like “good parent hisashi”. this au is basically ‘hey what if izuku got a fire quirk from his dad’ combined with my own personal views on fire, and then also deciding ‘wait what if hisashi and endevor did the same shit’. so it’s basically an au where izuku is in the same situation as todoroki.

it’s….kind of complicated now that it’s written down. in my head its p straight forwards?? anyways, basically my view on fire is that it absolutely shouldn’t be demonized as much as it is. because without fire, life couldn’t exist. it’s warmth and life and beauty. i just…think that view of it is perfect for izuku, and i always wanted to try my hand at fire quirk izuku.

also one of my few aus that’s actually gonna have a ship focus?? in that it’s tododeku but honestly knowing me i might end up accidentally dropping that aspect of it like i tend to do a LOT bc of my inability to write crushes (im an aro who’s never had a crush so me writing romance is…awkward at best lol)

the one where hisashi is a villain

i have……admittedly a lot of versions of this au. it’s by far one of my favourites to think about, for several reasons actually, mostly bc of angst but also because the hurt/comfort potential there is incredible.

my most current version of this au though plays with the idea that in the mha society those with ‘villainous’ quirks get discrimated against and pushed so the only chance they do have to survive is to turn to villainy. in this au i play with hisashi and inko’s quirks a little to make them more villainous and easier to discriminate against, for example hisashi can cremate anything he touches into ashes at will, and inko can minorly manipulate the limbs of other people although she’s mainly limited to pulling them towards her or pushing them back.

in this version, izuku is quirkless and still goes through ua determined to change the way that society works and right the wrongs in how it’s set up while also proving that quirkless people aren’t useless. a lot of dadzawa in this one because it is my w e a k n e s s. there’s a few other elements thrown in there, but overall that’s the basic jist of it.

underground gladiator arena kidnap fic

one of my darker aus where a group of villains kidnap kids who took the ua exam to create an “everything goes” fight club that customers can watch and occasionally participate in.

my general idea for this was “the sports festival is pretty brutal when you think about it. it’s almost like everything but killing goes” and then i thought that in a superpowered society there is no way there isn’t any kind of underground fight club where people can go full out w their quirks.

hence this au was born! the kids who’re kidnapped w izuku have been constantly changing over the ladt year or so that i’ve had this idea but rn i decided on having shinsou, kaminari, mina, tokoyami and yaoyorozu w him. the rest would be filled w ocs bc the villains weren’t dumb enough to kidnap all of the heroics students, just a handful.

bearing in mind the kids are all taken a couple days after the entrance exam so they’re not familiar with each other and izuku is the only one familiar w a pro hero and that’s a secret. not to mention he’s only used his quirk once at this point, and he has no access to recovery girl’s quirk so he has to figure smth out IMMEDIATELY or he’s completely fucked.

the one where aizawa is inko’s brother

look if you inspect my aus carefully you’ll see a theme and that theme is i fucking love aizawa. anyways, in this one izuku has a pretty powerful nullification quirk and is trained by aizawa. aizawa and inko have like an eight or ten year age difference, so they weren’t all that close until inko reached out when izuku was eight.

i’ll admit this is one of my lesser developed aus but it’s canon divergent with a focus on izuku hoping to be an underground hero. and due to his quirk and that aspect of his personality, it kind of changes a lot of things??? potentially a short(ish) au if i ever got round to writing it out. maybs about 20k-30k words idk.

(this is mostly born bc i feel like people forget that there’s only a fifteen year age difference between aizawa and izuku for a number of reasons. also bc inko/aizawa….is kind of weird in my mind. definitely not a fan :///)

MUTE TODOROKI

look i fucking love mute aus okay, but when i was trying to apply it to the mha universe i started thinking “holy shit todoroki could definitely be mute” or smth and ever since this au is close to my heart.

basically when poor rei burned lil shouto, she mentally scarred him into mutism. ever since the kettle incident, shouto can’t speak a word. endeavor is told by the doctor that although nothing physically is wrong, shouto is mute. endeavor is a DICK and p much decides he’ll just wait it out for shouto to finally talk bc he’s just being childish (basically he’s ablist and doesn’t let todoroki learn sign. which is bullshit but doesn’t majorly effect him bc he’s homeschooled until high school anyway).

it’s sort of canon divergent but also maybe a complete au??? in that there’s no league of villains. when all might fought afo the first time he succeeded in putting a stop to the villain and killing him. izuku still gets ofa, but he’s not the protag of the story, this time it’s todoroki.

anyways, ua sees that todoroki is mute (which isn’t registered and completely unknown to the general public) and doesn’t know sign language (resorting to notes and/or charades if he needs to communicate something), and decides to investigate that shit.

endeavor eventually gets what he deserves bc the trash bag can go rot in hell, and that’s p much all i got aside from the class realising FAST they need to adopt and love todoroki so there’s a lot of wholesome bonding there.

izuku is related to all for one

admittedly this one is one of my most underdeveloped aus but i still love it all the same. basically my take on it bc the whole ‘afo is hisashi’ thing kinda weirds me out considering afo is at least 200 years old. in this au he’s izuku’s grandfather and inko is his daugther who escaped him and lives in hiding.

i haven’t decided whether i want this au to be my take on izuku having afo or if it’s another quirkless izuku au. i haven’t gotten very far into it, all i know is that afo has no emotions and he’s a heartless bastard (me hating the dad for one trope w a passion) so there’s sort of MAJOR angst potential if i decide to go down that route.

gamer au

izuku’s quirk is that his life is a game. that’s….that’s it. if you’re familiar with sword art online, it has a lot of influence from that w/o the characters or plot or pervertedness or incest because what the fuck sao was so bad with all those. still pissed bc outside that it had potential and i think abt that a lot.

anyways, so y’know how in a lot of rpgs there’s the hud w stats and an inventory system and abilities?? well apply that to izuku and he’s p much that. the world “autosaves” whenever he sleeps, but he can’t manually load a save. if he dies he starts over from his last autosave.

bc of his access to abilities and stuff, he has the potential to be powerful bc hey he can basically do magic, but at the same time he just healed his body completely by drinking this drink he made w herbs and shit last night. also he can carry a ludicrous amount of shit that couldn’t possible fit in his backpack but apparently he’s got seventeen cheese wheels in there and room for half the classroom furniture too.

izuku sees the world w a hud which would be annoying but it’s normal for izuku. in fact, he sort of hates watching tv because the hud doesn’t appear on the screen and it’s so weird and bizarre he doesn’t really like it.

i haven’t planned anything but details of the quirk bc it can get waaaay too overpowered too quickly and hhhh i sort of burnt out of different ways this would effect canon, so i didn’t think abt it. but i did figure out that izuku would have so many gaming analogies for his friends and be into like a thousand different games.

the one where uraraka is the protag instead

born when i was complaining about how shitty horikoshi is at writing his female characters i brainstormed this au in a discord server where i overhauled canon w a more badass uraraka. (and she doesn’t even get ofa!!! she’s just badass on her own!!!)

basically bc she’s a lot more confident and determined in this au she influences a lot of her classmates. the other girls are a lot more active in their actions and are more than just the background characters. uraraka’s full strength is explored and i think i planned for her to win the sports festival bc she deserved it.

also inspired by the idea i had of pro hero uraraka kicking a lamp post down on her own strength and using it to put a comet home run on a villain like she did in the battle trial. bc holy shit that’s a fantastic mental image.

basically my “mha girls fucking rule and fuck horikoshi’s shitty writing” au

hp au

ah yes, finally we get to my take on the most generic of aus. basically i just wanted todoroki in hufflepuff to piss off endeavor and basically loving it bc he befriends izuku in it. i definitely haven’t developed this au outside of worldbuilding in how i’d combine the two universes whilst fixing both jkr and horikoshi’s bad writing.

i actually wrote a snippet that’s somewhere on my blog that i can’t link to now but you could probs for search it. but this was basically born from me getting angry at people putting the kids in the wrong houses. im a firm believer that izuku fits in nearly every house but hufflepuff and slytherin suits him the most while todoroki is ABSOLUTELY a hufflepuff. i wanted some platonic tododeku bonding so i put izuku in hufflepuff. uraraka is slytherin, iida is gryffindor, and it’d be too messy to list all the kids so i won’t.

but!! what im most happy w in this au is how i incoporate mha stuff into it. like how hagakure isn’t actually invisible she just got permanently hexed by her brother to always be unnoticed so you can never know what she looks like or where she is. tokoyami has a bird head due to a failed attempt at becoming an animagi. its permanent and although he could get it fixed, theres actually a number of wizards w the same thing do there’s a lot of animal like wizards. shinhou comes from a pureblood family thats been known for their dark magic, even though the last four generations haven’t been dark wizards the wizardinv world is convinced he’ll be a dark wizard too but shinsou wants to prove them wrong. amajiki being a metamorphmagus who shifts his limbs into animals when he’s nervous. etc etc. i have too much worldbuilding and no plot lmao.

disney aus galore

one day i thought up abt three different disney aus for the mha universe but my first idea was a little mermaid au for momojirou w momo being the princess and jirou being the mermaid.

except besides the basic premise i p much scrapped the whole movie in that jirou learns sign language to talk to momo and the two play music together. jirou plays piano or w/e whilst momo sings. it’s v gay. theres a ball and they dance and then kiss. i never wrote it out bc i didn’t wanna add conflict in it but never got round to actually writing it lmao.

but i thought up a tododeku tangled au, kiribaku cinderella au, tsuocha princess and the frog au, and a couple others that i didn’t plan out fully. still close to my heart if i ever manage to get round to writing them out. each would probs either be a long shot at 7k-15k words or a short multichapter fic at 25k-30k words.

the Spite™️ fic

the fic where i get pissed at every shitty thing about horikoshi’s writing. izuku gets mad at all might for his views on quirkless people and gets into ua on his first try. izuku rightfully does not take bakugou’s shit and calls him out at every opportunity. bakugou’s actions have repercussions. all might gets punished for almost letting bakugou kill izuku in an exercise.

izuku gets pissed over a lot of shit basically. also at one point he either punts mineta into the sun or loudly and publicly makes the argument that mineta should be expelled from ua including evidence and testimonies from the girls. and he encourages nearly all of them to get better costumes.

i haven’t actually written much abt it but if there’s smth i got pissed @ horikoshi for smth in canon it’d be address in this fic bc oh boy am i never spiteful so it’s kind of theraputic to write even tho i haven’t done it in a while.

uh….i have a lot more but man i think i’ve been writing this for like an hour or two idk im gonna finish this before the app crashes or smth. thank you for letting me ramble this got long oops sorry.

#shut up danni #mha #danni’s aus #hhhhh im passionate abt many of these aus as you can tell #this is a free pass to tell me which/if you’re interested in btw #long post

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yourereallyhere · 5 years

Text

tagged by @historyandships @iishallbelieve <333

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from? Uhhhhh I literally have no idea bc we don’t really know about a lot of the stations / what they did. I’m in pre-med so maybe Go-Sci because that’s where Ark Station Medical is? I just looked up all the stations but I really have no idea. good question though. if anyone wants to respond with what they know about they stations that’d be !sick!

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? I’m kind of a goody-two shoes but if there was a curfew then maybe that. Or defending someone (I'd like to think)

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? It’s hard to think of what I would or wouldn’t do considering that I've never even been close to being in their shoes but I don't think so

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) hmmmm maybe a dog??

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? wow so many minor characters have died it’s hard to remember. Is wells a minor character considering he was only in a few episodes? if yes then him. if not then Jake. let us go back in time and bring him back season six </3 but not like before Clarke was arrested like present show time bring him back

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? Clarke, Bellamy, Murphy, Roan, Monty. I wanna say Raven but we’re in a fight right now.

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to? Louwada Kliron Kru SO COLORFUL

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? Lian (?? whatever Leeann is in trig)

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious. Honestly I never liked him he was so weird and cocky and in his first 2 seconds in the show the people who followed him died and then he jumped off the drop ship in front of Murphy like wooOOWW Finn ur sewww coooool and and then he cheated on his girlfriend who risked her life to be with him like idk? couldn't you wait more than a week and half??? and then he literally massacred a village like ik people have done a lot of shitty things but they were posing no threat whatsoever. they tried to redeem him with the spacewalker backstory but I didn’t really feel for him :/ I don’t think he deserves the insane amount of villianization (is that a word?) he gets in fits and stuff but I also don’t think he’s the good guy they introduce him as

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? I think without knowing most people would say yes and on one hand I don’t do drugs and it seemed super drug-like so I probably wouldn’t but on the other hand emotionally this has been the worst year of my life bc I went through a medical thing so maybe?

11. What character do you relate to most? I think lately Murphy bc my life is literally Murphy’s law ( ha ha no pun intended ) and I kind of feel like a lot of things are working against me but I'm still here bitchesssss

12. What character do you like the least? ABBY I literally have hated her since the first episode and I wish she could die without it breaking my baby Clarkes heart but I know it would kill her to lose her so I'm kind of in a pickle. and jaha before he died was the WOAT

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical) Loose jeans or something similar and a t-shirt with a comfy jacket and the closest thing they have to Blundstones boots

14. Favorite type of mutant animal? butterflies

15. What would your job be on the Ark? something in med bay

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked? obvi

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive, then who would have made the best commander? Aiden

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? if I was around other people and it was a good effect then lots of dancing I think but if I was alone and it had a bad effect like with Clarke and Bellamy then I would be pretty sad

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach? Neither. id probably try and set up some sort of judicial system and figure it out with a group of people

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone? Clarke with Bellamy as her right hand and some others (including Kane) as a council. Their main concern was relations with the grounders and the people who have actually communicated with them should be in charge of that

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis? Kane’s

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there? the iPod. idk how they survived this long without music.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? I don't like having permanent things on my body especially when its not symmetrical asdfghjk but maybe like a small meaningful tattoo?? hair would be two dutch braids or just down and war paint maybe the black line on the face like in season five?

24. Favorite quote? too many to choose from but literally anything bellarke. a few that jump to mind are “but we need each other Bellamy. the only way we’re gonna pull this off is together” “you keep her centered / you got it backwards” “I’ve got you for that” “if I'm on that list you're on that list” “we can’t lose her” oh and non bellarke “If only a conscience was a free pass, and not just a voice in your head you pretend to listen to between unspeakable acts.” is a good one

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? Murphy or Bellamy

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE Braven (I don't mean to offend but they just used each other for sex, I love their friendship) / but for actual canon relationship Kabby (but only because everything abby does bothers me), marper (too pure for this world pls let more good things happen on this show), niytaviah (so! much! sexual! and! romantic! tension!)

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo? Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen for those rover ~vibes~ / Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith / Love Like by Peter Collins, and show guest star Brie Larson, Gemma Chan, or, selfishly, Chris Hemsworth

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time? party and watch movies and sexy time

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die? I’m the guy who died first when the scouts attacked in season 1 bc that’s my luck

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? Bellamy

31. A character you’d bang? umm if you know me you know the answer to this is my homeboy Bellamy he can do whatever he wants to me

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden? I wanna say eden but being alone would suck so space

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground? I guess I'd have to because if not I would die uk and I would read if that was possible. if not I'd get some friends

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits? stealing supplies

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with? Harper, and if Bellamy wasn’t too depressed to hang out then him too. Most difficult would be echo

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself? not long at all

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do? Hide, the valley is literally huge. or wait in the village bc no one is taking it over bitchhhh if they wanna talk then talk

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite? Diyoza, McCreary

39. Would you Spacewalk? no im so scared of getting lost in space

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat? space algae

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it? nahhh I said the valley was huge before and I meant it, they're all overreacting just share it bruh

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes? thumb drives into bullet holes

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia? 100% also he kind of knew she would wake up. if I was her sister then the same as Bellamy. if not then kill her.

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper? Cryo

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet? Bellarke

tagging @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky @anne-shirley-blythe @fen-ha-fuck-you @talistheintrovert @prophecy-gurl @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold

#the 100 #tag game #the 100 tag game

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kritharaki · 3 years

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Rating plants ive personally owned/ own on a scale of 1- 10, 1 being sucks i hate it and it also died for no reason and 10 being i love it and it is flourishing with my at times shitty care

1. Dracaena fragrans nr1

The one that looks a bit like a bamboo palm tree. Solid 7/10 i think she is pretty and you usually can tell exactly when she needs water because her leaves curl. However has had little to no growth since i got it and i cant figure out why, -3 for that

2. Dracaena fragrans nr2

The one that looks like a palm without a stump. 10/10 ive been trying to kill it for over a year and it refuses to die. That could be spite. But she is very recomendable i think... top five things she survived so far being 1.overwaterd cause if i have water leftover she gets it 2 sunburned. I forgot her outside after repotting. 3 being dropped. Standing in the darkest corner of my room 4. Being dropped. Again. 5. Forgot to water it for like two weeks cause ive moved it to another room . I would give it a -5 for personality because im mad at her but that is personal between me and her.

3. Succulents

All of them. No matter if purple or greenish. 2/10 some people love them, i hate them. idk what im doing wrong but so far ive had five? And only one of them still is alive. Either they rot or dry out. Idk who recommends them to beginners i hate them.

4. Cacti

Nice. 9/10 i dont like them because they are spiky and im an idiot, but they really are not easy to kill. One time i overwatered one and it got mushy, but since it still is alive over two years later i guess it doesnt count. They really are a great starter plant i think because they survive on very little care, and if you grow out of being a beginner you can get to the more challenging ways of caring for catci (that still are quite simple i think)

5. Monstera deliciosa

9/10, i think they can be quite tricky but only if you dont believe in yourself. They also are easy to propagate which always is a huge plus. U get more plants out of one. Its genius i love it. I got mine at ikea and on god it has doubled in size in like a year???? They should get extra points for looks because they are really nice and green

6. A yucca palm

9½/10 Idk..... ive had to repot it once but idk if it has even grown since i got it. Its a very nice and easy planta nd it looks good but doenat have much action to talk about. I wouldnt know how to kill it either so id consider it a nice starter. The very bottom leaves get yellow and krispy but that apparently is normal so no need to worry, thats just how it grows.

7. Gummy tree

6/10 i worry about it all the time even though it doesnt do anything that should worry me. But it has very few leaves so it cant loos that many which gives it a feel of walking on thin ice. Stressful. Very pretty tho should get extra points. Also remind me to ask my grandma for tips because hers is literally 60 years old.......... so maybe its like the monstera you just gotta believe in yourself

8. Orchids

I have got two, a purple ikea one and a papophilium or some shit. 4/10 They are really pretty especially the pap,,, paep,,,, the expenisive-ish one❤ but i hate them. What do they want. No that isnt true the ikea one... well ive accidentally overwatered it right after buying it because i didnt realize the pot it came w had no drainage which then lead to me removing both soil and half the now moldy roots. And orchids dont need soil so id just put it in a cup of water every once in a while...... that is really easy to forget tho and now shes dry and shrively :( the expensive one i accidentally let it stand in a saucer of water and now theres mushrooms in the soil thingy which is bad i think. Gets extra points for also surviving being dropped twice

9. Spider plants

My beloved. 10/10

I got one from ikea but then decided the single plants in the pot were to overcrowded so i took them out and seperated it into three. I probably ripped half the roots but they survived and now are flourishing. One of them has an offshoot going on rn, which leads me to the other two i have, my mom got me them as cuttings from her office plant and i left them in just water for at least third a year oops. They started getting a lil moldy so i planted them and now they are going strong again. Love. They also are really easy to propagate because offsphoots are everything but rare in an older(ish) plant, and also really easy to grow from there. Another one id consider a good beginner plant because all they want is water and a place on the windowsill. The latter is optional too but they do get nicer there i think. Ig they also wouldnt say no to the occasional fertilizer but again they do not need it i think.

10. Pileas

7/10, almost killed my big one by putting it into a too big pot AND shady place at all the same time. In the midst of winter. Cant recommend it. Have now put it back into a smaller pot and shes flourishing again. The small one i have i cant say much about. She does her job and is very smol. Also worth mentioning is you dont have to water pilea babies more than big ones it makes them mold <\3. I think its an easy plant if you dont fuck around to much. Propagating them can b really easy too because the offshoots just. Grow there. And u ideally have to cut them and put them in water. The last time i tried this was winter. Bad idea doesnt work. Trying it again rn ig ill update this section accordingly.

11. Clusia rosea

6/10 ive too put her into a too big pot cause i dont have an intermediate one so she looks stupid now. Has grown a lil since i got it 2 years ago, but thats fair cause i dont really care for her that greatly. Mediocre to me idk

12. Peperomia polybotrya

0/10 so far its getting yellow and i cant figure out why. Need to google how to care for them.

13. Venus fly trap

7/10 Doesnt work anymore idk why :((..... a bit sad but ive moved her to the bathroom that usually helps. They really are a cool gimick and theoretically very easy to take care of, you literally just gotta make sure its in water amd standing in a sunny place at all times. I think mine might be lacking fertilizer or maybe just humidity. We will see, ill update this section too

14. Nepenthes

9/10, mine had a rough start cause i interpreted 'keep in humid place ' as 'spray with water every day' so i overwaterd her. She lost all her pitchers but i now know they just do that in winter. Unless u have a growlight. She has been moved to the windowsill in the bathroom now and is flourishing there :))

15. 3 bonus tips

1) dont propagate plants in winter unless you have grow lights or want them to die. Or live somewhere really warm maybe

2) cheap plants r not inherently worse than expensive plants (now i dont own any expensive plants but since my cheapish once work fine........yk) but especially plants from like. Chain stores like ikea often need to be repotted shortly after buying..... ive heard its a marketing thing cause if you dont do it they just get yellow and ugly and youll have to buy a new one yk. But repotting them is manageable i think so its fine you just gotta know it ig.

3) if somethings going wrong for no reason and you have a window in your bathroom put the plant there it usually helps a lil. And if it doesnt well than at least the plant dies in a peaceful place...... jk theres probably several great checklist online tho that might help you find the cause of it so dont despair <33

#long post #text tag #also pls remember i know close to nothing abt plants this is all largely experience based ❤#ive started making this post solely to complain about that stupid dracaena fragrans that refuses to die😹😹

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survivormagictreehouse · 4 years

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Episode #5 “I have nothing else to lose at this point” -Jay

-Did I even make a confessional last round??? AHH. Okay so I’m excited with our swap and I think we have a strong tribe but I’m REALLY sad (and not surprised) about Austin leaving. I think that I am on a very strong tribe and I can’t wait to see what happens with it going forward! Like I can’t bad talk anyone, I like them all.

-Can we talk about how proud I am of myself for remembering enough information to tell Cindi while she was answering questions? LOL, I had never been so nervous in my entire life so I'm really good that we pulled out a win! Ali and Collin did such a good job retaining and relaying information. It is nice to have another day off and I'm really curious to see what Ali decides to do and what the next challenge will be... I don't want this tribe to be broken up yet. If I do end up swapping I really want to end up on a tribe with Chips. We played in a game recently AGAINST one another and I'm dying to work with him, like actually work with him so oddly enough, I'm really hoping that he isn't going anywhere! I feel like they will probably go after Timmy or Jay. Right now the person on my tribe I feel like I can talk with the easiest about the game is Ali, he is probably my number one and I feel like I can tell him stuff without it getting passed around the entire tribe. Do I completely trust him?? NO. But I do trust him the most haha.

-I SURVIVED AHHHHHH I GET TO STAY!!!!!!!!! Fuck that was so close and I feel so bad for throwing Austin under the bus but hey, I needed to stay in this game and keep my relationships strong. Plus, voting for Timmy would have looked really shitty to him, after the whole alliance thing. Anyways....Birch is here now! I love them sm and I really look forward to getting to work with them again. As far as I can tell, my best bet of staying is a group of me, Timmy, Zach, Birch and probably Chips. Chips and Zach were so helpful to me this whole day, reassuring me and giving me the information I needed to stay safe. I also called with Timmy just now and we're gonna be sticking together since it's our best option. Its really been a big turn from feeling comfortable in the tribe to fighting to stay, but I'm gonna stay fighting and hopefully make it out of this swap alive.

-I'm trying so fucking hard to stay in this game but right now it feels like a lost cause. Zach sold me out so badly last night and it feels like it's been impossible to recover. I'm trying to get me, Timmy, chips, and birch to all vote Zach but it's feeling less and less like it's actually happening and more like they're just saying it to keep me comfortable. No one is really responding to me anymore and it just feels like this is the end. The only little bit of hope I have is apparently Timmy has heard it's gonna be Birch instead? Seems like a long shot, I don't really want to see them leave, and I'm not gonna push for it. Birch is an indespencible ally and I will go to rocks for them if i have to. I have nothing else to lose at this point.

https://youtu.be/cYEa3LQE6N4

-Going into tonight's tribal, I think I'll be safe and have the votes of Timmy, Jess, Gavin, and Keegan. However, I feel like either Gavin and Keegan could flip (though unlikely) OR an idol could be used on Jay. I guess we shall see though. See y'all on the other side :)

-okay so the og annie tribe lost their marbles and got a 4-3-1? which well. in other news, i died in my other game and mr BODHI on this tribe got me out... very interesting. i was originally gonna punish him and get him out. and i still might. im unsure. he would deserve it tho he is so wishywashy that its infuriating. rn dream alliance is cindi/vi/ruthie/rachael (aka feminism + ali). bodhi was the best to vote for me on a game level and him needless treating me like crap makes that much easier.

-okay hello... so in a crazy plot twist... we won the storytime? i was really proud of my own contribution to the challenge, i passed on a LOTTA info to collin and he did so so good passing it, ruthie SNAPPED when she was so nervous and cindi brought it home. my game has been pretty smooth sailing, two easy votes and now im chilling on the most wholesome tribe ever. should i probably be throwing these challenges to save jay/timmy/austin... maybe... but am i going to... no. im not risking my game life when i see my entire current tribe as long term allies. ideal scenario is that group implodes and sets us up to pick up the pieces at merge... maybe? but also i think we are swapping again before merge, so just adding another challenge with the shakespeare challenge delays me getting jumped by the conglomerate of generic men, birch and jess. my closest ally right now is definitely ruthie, i LOVE ME SOME RUTHIE. vi, cindi, collin, timmy and rachael i also trust to some extent. bodhi i literally would get an indescribable seretonin rush from voting out... i would LOVE the opportunity to jump him in this game. am over that man. but im vibing having fun! still have an idol! and living my BEST life ha. im sorry my confessionals have been underwhelming but my game experience has been pretty smooth sailing so far ha.

-Spill the tea! *It's 1:11AM and I still miss Gavin.

-It's 8:59 PM and I still miss Gavin. prayer circle for Gavin <3

https://youtu.be/JSmJThHF-tU

So I did something. I am not allied with 5/7 people on my tribe. I have the "3 Canadians, oh and the 2 American Hosts" Alliance of me, Jess and Keegan. I am not quite as Loyal to that alliance as I am my new one. But I still don't want to vote them out. If I HAD to I would but i want to keep them. I really like both of them. I just made the "The Jolly Crew" Alliance which is Me, Jay, Timmy Z and Zach. I love this alliance. I vibe really well with Timmy and Jay. I am a little more iffy on Zach but he is really cool! I stan everyone! I guess out of the 2 people left I would prefer to vote out chips? He tends to be kinda inactive and I talk to him the least. IDK I'll go with the numbers, and my alliance.

Another round, another immunity win. I’m just living life and am happy with how this game is going. Don’t really have to do much but making sure it won’t be me if we eventually do go to tribal.

We lost the challenge despite my best efforts. I think we’re voting Jay

I wish i had something of substance to say but this tribe refuses to go to tribal :/ i've found spots where TWO idols were in the past i think??? lions -> straight ahead -> ask for a tour, and vikings -> small boat -> get on the small boat

Soooooo... we lost the challenge again an' I got kidnapped by the gentlemen o' fortune. love that there fer me! then, to me surprise, right off o' the bat, jay threw me name out. so 'e be essentially dead to me now an' I expect 'im to be leavin' tonight. his blood ‘ill be on me hook after tonight. luckily fer me, I went around an' started spreadin' that there I 'ad 'eard 'e been sayin' me name—and 'e 'ad apparently only said it to zach. so now, the votes be between zach an' jay... an' I could not be 'appier as me name be off o' the table as farrr as I know. so bless to the sky to that there. I be expectin' jay to set sail tonight, but who knows. there been a lot o' talk o' 'im or birch 'avin' an idol or some kind o' advantage (which I believe birch may 'ave something), but I don’t think I be playin' me idol unless I catch wind o' somethin' strange 'appenin'... but me fingers be crossed an' I be goin' to 'ope fer the best.

2nd win and Ali is chucked to the tree house. Gotta do a music video

So the Annie curse strikes again............ wooo. This vote is a bit of a mess but honestly this all works out for me. Jay going ensures that I have Chips/Birch's loyalties moving forward and honestly the more OG Annie people that go the better. I hate the whole tribe lines situation but honestly I'm kind of stuck in it and I think I'm stuck in it for the long haul or at least for now. Zach going ensures I can climb the social rankings of the OG JACK tribe but it also might make me land on the bottom and it would be such a gamble. Do I trust Zach? no. Do I think everything Birch/Jay are saying about Zach is completely true..mhm BUT I need him just for a bit longer at this point. Also if Jay didn't say Gavin's name I probably would risk it and vote out Zach but at this point I can't not vote out someone who is saying my number 1's name... I want another swap because I'm bored of talking to the same people and I need to form some new bonds before merge.

With me getting one vote last time, I really wanted to secure my spot within my team and was able to talk with Zach and Jess into making an alliance chat with us and Keegan/Gavin. Hopefully jay goes tonight but I’m not to sure. In the challenge bitch was terrible. We are a bit nervous they got an advantage or idol on exile which is why we are telling everyone the vote is birch tonight. Guess we will see how tonight goes

I'm doing lots of house stuff today but I hear there's a mess to be had with Jay versus Zach. I want to vote Zach because he has been acting head honcho but also... dont care too much. Im going to try to force a tie then get blindsided out of the game. Hype energy!

The Round 5 Cast Assessment will be combined with Round 6 (on the next episode)

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pharahlesbian · 7 years

Note

hi, so i just followed you recently and i see you're into kpop. i've been trying to get into kpop for a while (esp the girl groups) but it's just such a big community i have no idea where to even start. do you know what i should do or who to listen to?

ok ok im so happy someone’s asking me about kpop lol? i generally dont talk about it that much. pls feel free to talk to me more as u get into groups and such. anywayy, here are my favs!!

(everything under the cut bc im about to talk for a while)

GIRLS

-f(x)

top bias, favorite group ever, i love them. they debuted as 5 members (victoria, amber, luna, sulli, krystal) but sulli left the group in 2015, right before their most recent album. managed by sm entertainment, debuted in 2009.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7MHZpSNJQc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8I8QGFA1oM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnku4o3tRB4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j7Umwfx60Q

look up any of their stuff, i have literally their entire discography lol they really don’t have a bad song, imo. they were introduced as like a “cool” little sister group to girls generation, another sm girl group who’s really big in korea and who u might have heard of if ur sort of already getting into kpop.

-girls generation (snsd)

speaking of girls generation, lol. their korean name is “so nyuh shi dae”, hence the snsd acronym. they debuted 10 years ago under sm, and they’re so impactful on korean culture that they’re like in textbooks and shit. they’re currently 8 members (taeyeon, yuri, yoona, sooyoung, tiffany, hyoyeon, seohyun, and sunny), but they debuted with 9. jessica left in 2014 after some messy shit with the company. snsd is like HUGE in japan. their japanese songs are so good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVCubhQ454c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_gfD3nvh-8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8j_XEn9b_8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq7ftOZBy0E

-red velvet

one more sm group lol. i kinda hate sm because they treat their groups rly shitty but i love their groups so much. ANYWAY, red velvet is sm’s most recently girl group, debuted in 2014 with 4 members: irene, seulgi, wendy, and joy. in march 2015, they got a new member, yeri, which everyone was kinda confused about. she was super young at the time, like 16 i think, so maybe she was too young to debut in 2014? dunno. their concept is that they can do girly concepts (red) and more mature, r&b type concepts (velvet).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFgv8bKfxEs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpAn9ryoB4Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glXgSSOKlls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGdbaEDVWp0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px2Q47O0_eE

-twice

managed by jyp, another big company like sm. debuted in 2015 with 9 members (jihyo, nayeon, jeongyeon, sana, mina, momo, chaeyoung, dahyun, and tzuyu). they were formed after participating in a survival show called sixteen where sixteen jyp trainees competed to be in the new girl group. i’ve been following them since their debut so i have a special place in my heart for them. also they’re all younger than me so they’re all my daughters

they’re pretty huge in korea atm, and everyone’s calling them the next snsd, which is making snsd fans (sones) all pissed off and starting a really dumb fan war. this is why i dont rly align myself with kpop fandoms lmao theyre all so embarrassing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rtV5esQT6I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7rCyll5AeY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePpPVE-GGJw

-gfriend

another favorite. i forget what company they’re under. they debuted in 2015 with 6 members (sowon, yerin, yuju, sinb, umji, eunha). they’re from a super small company but theyre so fuckin talented that it caught everyone’s attention. also they went viral because yuju fell down a lot on a rainy stage once alskdfjs. they’re super known for their really tight dancing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxnD5AViu6k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-CKVr6Z1Tw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag2R7Mt8yI8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se8bbsUFjC8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8CydQ-Y3Hs

-mamamoo

debuted in 2014 with four members: solar, moonbyul, wheein, and hwasa. literally the most talented and straight-up performers in every sense of the word, on this entire list. i havent even written the boys list yet, but they beat all of them. they have amazing chemistry, beautiful harmonies and dancing. they have amazing control

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGgrRoMJ6Yc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFuJAIMQjHk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h41Rrk_6rzs

they’re literally so funny and cute and charismatic and talented as hell, pls get into them

BOYS

get ready for this list to be like dramaaatically shorter lmao anyway girl groups are better than boy groups bye

-shinee

best of the best. shinee fucking invented singing, dancing, and the concept of boy groups altogether. they’ve done some really stupid concepts, but somehow they ALWAYS WORK. they’re under sm (surprise, surprise, i love everything sm does ugh) and debuted in 2008 with 5 members: onew, jonghyun, key, minho, and taemin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DocBfPIgk70

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roughtzsCDI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dww9UjJ4Dt8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF53cptEE5k&spfreload=1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcu7yZBeSKw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJua7KEP_oE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nchkAmc49p4

-bts

literally everyones fucking obsessed with bts, including me. stands for bangtan sonyeondan, which roughly translates to bulletproof boy scouts. debuted in 2013 with 7 members: rap monster, suga, j-hope, jin, jungkook, v, and jimin. they were like crazy hyped-up pre-debut, which is probably why they’re so big.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw540DtB5mM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8MfJg68oCs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVwAVbKYYeM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALj5MKjy2BU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmE9f-TEutc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEeFrLSkMm8

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Sistar

Exo

Ladies’ Code

Wonder Girls

2ne1

Block B (if ur into homestuck you’ll recognize nilili mambo)

Girls’ Day

Oh My Girl

After School/Orange Caramel

Pristin

Seventeen

AKMU (duet)

Ailee (solo)

AOA

IU (solo)

Lee Hi (solo)

Blackpink

CLC

Crush (solo)

Dean (solo)

Exid

Monsta X

4 Minute

Kara

WJSN

#long post #i spent like an hour on this #kpop #as we all know there are three genders #girls boys and honorable mentions #+filed: anon!#+filed: answer!

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boethiah · 8 years

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(on the topic of dissociation and chronic pain by ymirjotunn, please ask before following syr if you’re so inclined.)

hi! im friends w khoshekh and she pointed me towards yr post about dissociation and pain b/c she knows i’m dissociation and pain central… i do have some info so i thought id share, and since ur looking just for General Experiences it might be a bit of an infodump? i hope thats ok! (sorry in advance it turned out kinda long and idk how comprehensible it is)

from lots of personal experience, Yes its Very Very related. i have a genetic disorder (ehlers danlos syndrome) that causes frequent dislocation of joints, which means a lot of pain; i also have fibromyalgia which tumblr user namira mentioned in the notes! ive had problems with dissociation since i was very small, and had a period of uhhh…~14 yrs of dissociative amnesia, & i still have really severe dissociation issues now

this is Kind of a silly post but i think its got useful vocabulary when talking about dsc… “lawful neutral” is the kind i struggle with the most, and the kind that caused my dissociative amnesia. genuinely “being on autopilot” is the best way to describe it, and most chronically ill folks i know are at least Somewhat familiar with it, if not intimate - it’s a survival mechanism, it helps make sure we can keep doing what we need to do in order to live even if we can’t process things, or if we physically can’t do something that we need to do anyway. (that’s not always a good idea, but…you gotta do what you gotta do??)

“lawful negative” is pretty common with flares that aren’t earth-shattering / hospital-threatening (so when the pain is bad, but not that bad) - partly because when your entire body is in pain, it’s almost impossible to actually Do anything, so everything’s really boring and pointless, so…things get weird. this one’s my least favorite, b/c most dissociation is pretty “easy” (since you don’t really have to do much) but this one is just 100% shit and also very frustrating.

“neutral negative” is similar to the above, but typically comes when things are so shitty and so frustrating that everything feels hopeless and you wanna die but you can’t actually do anything b/c your body doesn’t work so you just kinda consider it, but it’s…detached

“chaotic negative” is definitely more associated with mental health, but for me, my chronic pain is Intimately tied with my brain garbage, including my schizophrenia, so it’s worth talking about in the context of pain&dsc, i think

specifically because after enough weird shit happens in your body, after you’ve lived long enough with pain that would be utterly devastating to other people (and is to you but also you’re still doing this somehow???) things get REALLY fuckin surreal… it’s just Weird and Scary and Unreal but it’s still happening and fucked up. it’s really hard to describe this lmao uh

there’s pain literally all the time, and after a while you get…somewhat tuned to it, but not used to it. you can’t adapt to it, you can’t not feel it. it’s just kind of There, and it’s…maybe i’d describe it as constantly surreal? i can’t imagine any part of me not being in constant pain, to the point that i can’t really comprehend that other people aren’t, but at the same time it’s a sense of feeling Not Quite Right, disjointed, almost like my body itself is glitching? pretty much all of those feelings are dissociation in some form…its fuck its weird

during really really bad flares of pain, i almost always slip into a dissociative episode, but its a particular kind - the best way i can think to describe it is pushing my consciousness away from my body, to try and distance myself from what feels like unbearable pain as much as possible. it’s kind of like acting, but you’re acting so hard that you can believe “oh yeah okay, it doesn’t hurt That much, i can ignore it” even if you’re at a medical 10 on the pain scale, yknow. usually this ends up as “true neutral” because i end up making more concrete efforts to stay positive through it.

but! im also a medical sociologist so i can give you some academic stuff as well! dissociation is, at its core, the body’s reaction to intense (and potentially otherwise unbearable) stress, which definitely includes pain, especially when prolonged.

(if you’re specifically talking about untreated pain, there’s also the frustration of not being taken seriously, not being given what you need, not knowing what’s going on, etc - that’s also really really severe stress. some of my worst dissociation happened in the 4 years i sought but could not receive an accurate diagnosis.)

this is a forum of chronic pain folx talking about dsc, just personal experience - it might be helpful to you.

this is like one of the only relevant studies that exists, maybe u already saw it?? given the combo of personal experiences & these tentative results it’s pretty much certain that there is a Definite Scientific Link b/w dsc and chronic pain, but they need to do a lot more experimentation to have decent data. theres also this one which is pretty good

this is a bunch of academic gobbledygook and i dont have the spoons to tear thru it but on the surface it looks like it has some decent info

this is a really really good description of “body maps” and how certain points on those maps can come undone thru stressful experience & cause dsc. it’s a good way to conceptualize the connection. relevant quote: “The pain experience gets divorced from what is happening in the tissues.” it becomes more of an emotional / psychological experience than a physical one, even if it really is rooted in physical issues.

(i personally always described my pain as “a sick feeling” - like severe and painful nausea, except instead of my stomach, it was inside my bones and muscles. nobody understood what i meant, and it was really frustrating to try and explain! overall it’s a really surreal and emotional and disjointed experience.)

i also want to point out that a ton of “dealing with chronic pain” techniques are straight up dissociation. many of us develop these strategies independently & naturally, just because dissociating is one of the only ways to deal with severe & constant & chronic pain

ANYWAY…sorry this was so long and kinda out of the blue!! i hope it gave you some insight, i wish i couldve described some experiences better lmao… feel free to ask me if you have any questions, id be happy to answer!

#writing #writing resource #chronic pain #pain #dissociation #THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is a really incredibly response and SO helpful thank you so much!!!!#long post /#ask to tag /#submission

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ferretphobos · 7 years

Text

life is fucking weird

I dont know whats going on anymore. Im usually throwing myself into show after show, sometimes without even a weeks worth of rest in between. Its the only way i can feel normal. Ive tried other ways (i.e. drinking, eating ect ect). But the only real way ive found that works is working myself into exhaustion. without a show i feel like im nothing, that im worth nothing. I recently got into a semi-local show of “Grease” but backed out basically because the part wasn't worth it. Now i really regret it. I regret alot of things. The thing I fear most is being left with time to myself. it gives me time to think. thats bad. Big for instance, i recently got into a fresh relationship and almost fucked it up immediately. She is an actress that i met during my second to last show, and younger than me but just as mature (because i am immature as all hell). But because I was in a pretty long relationship where things got pretty serious i got used to certain things. I was used to constantly being in contact with my SO, and just hearing about everything going on during her day so that I felt connected. With this new relationship we talk alot face to face, but sometimes barely pass 5 sentences a day through text, It’s really weird for me. Now i realize just how busy she is, but i didnt understand before, and it ate at me. I just got broken up with a little over 5 months ago, and after 5 years together that is such a short time. I thought I was ok, but it seems to have left some things behind. She also recently got dumped and coupled with her anxiety problem did not help this situation. I stupidly took things overboard. My mind went into overdrive and mistook this lack of communication as a lack of interest, that and I really do not know what people see in me i really do not. I know I have self image issues and am pretty much doing nothing about it so...yeah. continuing, my mind took all this as i am nothing more than a rebound, thats the only reason why she would want to try a relationship in the first place, that she doesnt really know what she wants or that she is just projecting on to me and tricking herself like I did twice when I was around her age. Basically I told myself that this relationship was a lie, that we both were pretending only. That scared the shit outta me. I like to think of myself pretty laid back, but that seems to be falling apart as the years go by. So in my paranoia i texted her confronting her about it, and that went as well as that sounded. It went back and forth me not believing her claims of wanting to truly be in the relationship, and her protesting saying yes she did and that she was sorry for not responding due to a shitty week. Long story short I wallowed for a day and then contacted her to apologize. But it wasnt enough so the day after that we met and hung out until she had to go to work, but then after her work around....10ish? we met and hung out again, just us talking all thru the night again till almost 3....it was nice. we are doing better now, but i cant help but believe its all a ruse, not a purposeful one, but a ruse none the less. I dont know why im just so afraid of this ending and I know I shouldn't be! if its meant to be its meant to be we tried it out good for us, but my mind wont let me believe that. The weird thing is my family has no idea, they dont even know that me and amanda are separate, even tho that was more than 5 months ago. its not like we publicized it or anything but still, i live at home i see them practically everyday. I think I hate them, but I have to smile because I have nowhere else to go. I know Hate is such a strong word but what i feel is more than general dislike. I couldn’t care less if I ever saw or spoke to them again. The bonds I made are stronger than the ones made by blood. How sad is that? Even if i wanted to tell them i feel like I cant. Idk why. And as for amanda, when we split there were alot of declarations of love, even tho we split. It was a weird situation. I told her I prob would not date for a while after her. Because of her I feel like I cannot post anything about Emma, lest I hurt her feelings. And because we work in the same building and alot of our co-workers are friends with both of us I feel like I cant say anything about her anyways. That I would looked down on or that I would be seen as a dick. Idk what to do, I want to show her off so bad, but not if it means all this ridiculous backlash...it doesnt matter tha me and amanda have not spoken in almost two months. or that I dont speak with my parents. I still feel obligated...I hate it....I wish I could move somewhere but Im stuck for right now...I need to get out....I need to go away from alot of people. To make things worse something else happened. During this whole fight/situation with Emma I got a Fb message. I happened to put up one of those stupid quiz “send me a number deals” and got a response back from someone I never would have imagined. I originally met him at RCC and he was super nice and one of the more popular in the Theatre program. as far as I was aware I wasnt even on his radar, I had also about 3 months after Amanda dumped me made a tinder because I was feeling bad and wanted to see if I would get any matches at all. So apparently he saw it and messaged me about it saying that he always thought i swung both ways and that he always had a thing for me. So he started complementing me and wanting to set up a date. I always used to have a thing for him but because he was popular never dreamed it would happen, so this was a dream come true...and going against my better judgement started messaging back. I know dick move, dont worry tho. so we message for about three days and then the guilt gets to me, and I break it off. I never want to be known as a cheater....ever....to hurt anyone purposefully is just not me. I let him know the situation and apologized but i still feel horrible....I intend to tell Emma next we meet. on top of all that i havent been feeling myself this past month and a half, or rather Ive been feeling myself and that thought is all the worse. Ive been feeling like there is two anchors attached to my soul dragging me down. Dragging me down emotionally (which led to the Emma Situation), mentally, heck even physically. I constantly feel it. and when that happens its never good. last time that happened I practically became a zombie for 8 months just surviving life. not doing anything but working. Idk what is wrong with me...i hate it. I still have thoughts about death, of attaching an I.V to my arm so that my heart pushes my blood out while I literally walk my life away. The idea just came out of fucking nowhere but its perfect in my head. Walk around with an iv and attacted extender with a towel or maybe empty fluid bag(s) to empty into to all the while recording my last moments. Its almost become obsession. I dont think I would do it for a while tho. Ive rambled for long enough and have to go back to work.

#just my thoughts #no need to read #just rambling

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subjectsilver · 7 years

Text

my psyche and wormy be ruthless sometimes.

originally i told myself that i was only going to use tumblr every sunday to log what has happened throughout the week or anything noticeable or note worthy but i literally need to type this right now because I'm losing my goddamn mind and on the verge of a panic attack...i can feel my chest tightening and my heart has such a “funny” feeling that isn't so funny so idk why they call it that... its like a light feeling like when u get light headed - i feel light hearted rn

the absolute worst part about my depression is that it literally just comes and goes whenever it wants. obviously theres things that help trigger it, a song a picture of my ex friends snapchats, any object that i can play connect the dots with back to a single thought that can disrupt my entire mental.

and it hit me tonight and it hit me hard and tonight I'm trying not to run away from it. I'm not going to go smoke cigarettes and listen to music until 5 am I'm trying to just type what is going on instead of like holding it into my head. or type something at least. the thing about it is that whenever it hits me, i always find a way to make it so much worse.... like i see just the right combination of words or objects to sink me or look at pictures of emma and even though i know its hurting me i continue to do it anyway....maybe its because in that moment I'm actually feeling something, she is making me feel something just like she use to in the past. i really valued that until i became too grey and numb and hopeless.

i feel like throwing up

i used “ex” up there and makes me feel really uneasy i haven't used it very much at all mainly because i have to explain myself to anyone here and I've only told a few people what is going on with me. That was good thought because i have a friend named hank who went through some shit too so he kind of connects with me but still not a person i would talk to about shit...i don't really have anyone for that so i don't really know... sometimes i type it all and erase it, sometimes i make songs, sometimes i say it out laid sometimes i just cry.

i started taking prozac 3 days ago this will be the fourth, so hopefully that'll help me. Im still underweight as fuck but oddly I'm comfortable with it bc i like the way my shirts feel and clothes fit, unfortunately i need to gain like 20 pounds if i want to exist on this soccer team which is kinda mad. I was going to suggest leaving wake because i don't really even care to play soccer rn. and i realized a while back that all i needed was in ohio... like i had the best friends the girl of my dreams and i could've had a 1st year internship paying between 40-70k at some health company under my step dad... its kinda shitty because its something i wanted to tell everyone and i would always think about how disappointed my dad would be and how supportive my mom would be but something told me not do make moves with any of it. its like the universe knew i was going to go through some shit. like it knew i was gonna get low and the perfect image of life i had in my head up. like bitch u thought you'd plant roots,,,nahhhhhhtttt

i keep listening to this song on repeat

https://soundcloud.com/yvpoipoi/maxence-cyrin-where-is-my-mind

but the real is back the ville is back

i fucking hated listening to cole until like 2 weeks ago. it was so annoying listening to cole bc of hani playing it literally all the time. when things like that get annoying they because white noise to me. but recently i went through his 3 most recent projects and actually listened heavily to the words and that shit is crazy.

i also have been paying a lot of attention to jay z and beyonce. i guess jay z had an affair or some shit and ten he and “once” went back and forth on songs about it... but i read this quote by him where he was like “our relationship was built on top of lies, and i had to tear it down and build it back up again and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.” thats the kind of shit that gives me hope in the world of relationships. I've accepted that its probably false hope but ill hold onto anything the keeps me going at this point...

my suicidal thoughts haven't been present the last few days but i never know if and when those will come back. to be truthful I've been stacking up on things in my camera roll that give me up for when I'm feeling low.

the light hearted feeling has subsided, i just realized it. i kinda of ignore all grammatical practices when i write freely. i just go with my own language because i feel like its more personal ya know. someone i know annotates her own letters that she use to write me and i always loved that shit because i have so many side thoughts when i write as well.

luke christophers album finally came out and what do you know 5 of the songs had already been released and some like a year ago so its barely anything knew but it still has new music and bangers so i do appreciate the legend himself. after seeing his hair blonde on the cover idk if I'm going to keep growing my hair black or re-dye it. maybe ill keep it blonde until i feel like I'm above 80% better or something right now i feel about -7% (if i could annotate that line id tell you that i originally wrote -7 person instead of percent then i autocorrected person then backspaced it to a symbol)

the last few days I've felt really weak though and I've been sleeping a lot like two days ago i got like 11 hours and yesterday i got like 10 and I've been taking naps during the day. but I've constantly felt like I've had low blood sugar or that I've been dehydrated or something. i can't even make a fist and squeeze that hard.

its crazy because when i type anything about myself ever i just start tearing up for no reason...happy thoughts sad thoughts dark thoughts i could be writing about my microwave and be tearing up. and i do it a lot with emma or my best friends or my ex and ex best friends idk what anyone is to me anymore. been too focussed on trying to survive, which i feel is the correct selfish thing to do for once.

“don't give a fuck and they love you do give a fuck and they hate you - I'm always gone be there for you”

this man luke in onto something

its crazy that i will leave my phone in my room from 7:30 am to 7-8 at night and the only notification that ill get is “your phone hasn't been backed up in 57 weeks” or some shit like that. occasionally ill receive a random text from someone but its funny because sometimes on the inside ill be screaming like “PLEASE SOMEONE TALK TO ME” and then it happens and its like nah.. i thought i sent out an amber alert but really I'm sending out a batman bat symbol. i thought i needed anyone to talk to, but in reality i just need one singular person to talk to. that was my mistake, will always be my mistake but at least i recognize it now...just a little late there big guy.

having so much time to myself probably too much time to myself is really interesting...if you've ever thought that you've done real reflection, submerge yourself in complete loneliness and isolation and try again because its so much deeper. you think about everything. every individual relationship, every right every wrong multiple perspectives. you think about all of your problems and the root to your problems. all of your mistakes why u caused these mistakes or what caused these mistakes. its actually really shitty because the bad will always stick out more than the good because the good is what is suppose to happen and the bad is the variable...variables get more attention than the constants i feel. deep down i don't think I'm a shitty human being.. even though i might think that a lot or hate myself...ik I'm only human and i can't be perfect and as much as id love for everyone to love me and me to not hurt anyone its more than likely unrealistic and it'll happen to me and already has happened to me and now i understand that and i will be more forgiving as i go on in life, the same forgiveness id want people to give me.

i use to think that everything had to work in reciprocality like for some reason i always thought everything should be equal all of the time..but i was extremely wrong, some people need more some people need less some people expect things and if they mean anything to you, the extra effort should hinder you or disrupt you...every human has a different way of looking at relationships and when those ways collide and don't add up it creates problem. I'm not saying people should give up in what they believe in but people should be less harsh about it... i know people who should be less harsh on me and i know people that i will be less harsh on and who i would be less harsh on if i could go back in time.

i tried to think about why I'm so afraid of butterflies and i can't really think of what happened along the way that got me here but i think the very root is the movie “butterfly effect” I'm also pretty sure they are remaking that movie into a 2018 version and ill probably go scare the fuck out of myself while seeing it.

my anxiety was gone until thinking about butterflies

i tried to explain a fear of butterflies to this kid named mike and i sounded like an absolute idiot and then his response was “does this scare you” and it was the close up of a butterfly from this spongebob episode and i can't get it out of my head.... i think the video is called “wormy close up”

fuck wormy

usually id think something so symmetrical was beautiful seeing has my old tendencies make me love symmetrically and i do things in that way like when i touch my feet to surfaces and shit bc i feel all neat and organized but i don't like that every butterfly ever is symmetrical as fuck...like show why what the hell. and i want to watch a video on it but i don't want to go into shock or some shit.

and they have wings that flap which is what i hate about bugs in general.

to be fair though i do like butterflies that have bright blue or white wings cus i use to see those a lot as a kid when my backyard was a golf course. but my vision of a butterfly with like brown wings and black borders gahhhh fuck that....id weather let a centipede crawl on me from head to toe than a butterfly land on me to put in in perspective.

idk man i think this post has done for me what i thought it would do what i intended it to do...i have to be up in like 3 and a half wish hours then run for an hour then ill take a solid nap for like 5 hours or just sleep pt.2 but i must be going... until next time or sunday.

i love you

fuck wormy

goodnight

#fuckwormy #waitttt

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