#idk it would be good for me. i should also watch buffy again but that would just be Work

[vulpinesaint]

oh angel beloved i am always thinking about you… the show. not the character. the only thing i ever think about angel is “they turned that man into a muppet”

[catty-words]

Also, I hear you. Buffy is bigger than all of us, really. My feelings and opinions about it are definitely wrapped in thick layers of nostalgia and whatever personal tribulation I happened to be going through while watching etc. and I realize people have written entire master’s thesis on this but just for fun what would you say about the faith/buffy dynamic—like, just for kicks

'whatever personal tribulations i happened to be going through while watching' - isn't it beautiful that buffy is Like That? blah blah the monsters are metaphors, we've all heard it. but truly, what gets to me about the show is how well it captures the human experience. the way you settle into a picture of your life only to have that shredded again and again. you have to piece it back together so often and it can never look the same because you're missing scraps and you're picking up bits that don't actually belong in the picture and AHHH. when i first watched the show, i had just been excommunicated from my family and i needed buffy. full-stop, i wouldn't have made it through without her.

ANYWAY. god. buffy and faith. what's on the tip of my tongue right now is their relationship with power & the way they both feel the seduction of having that kind of physical advantage. buffy takes Pride in her slayerness as often as she feels hard done by it. and the moments she indulges her own power are so. idk. they make my spine spark like a livewire. the fantasy of beating a bitch down when they're in your face is REAL and it belongs to WOMEN.

but the thing about buffy's relationship with power is that she also has an innate sense of responsibility to humanity, because humanity has cared for her back. she was raised by a loving - if criminally willfully ignorant - mother and she has her scooby community and before that she was a popular girlygirl. like, she's been embraced by humanity in a way faith never was.

and that 'what has humanity ever done for me' mentality getting superpowers. of COURSE faith was going to develop a superiority complex, of course she was going to become a little vindictive. because she's OWED something good for once and she was just given the means to CREATE that for herself. good-for-her.jpeg.

but also the way slayerness is so alienating and therefore connects faith and buffy by a string of 'recognition of the self in the other' that they literally cannot have with anyone else?? and that's the thing that saves faith, eventually? they don't need to kiss on the mouth when they're THAT deep in each other's souls. though of course they should have kissed on the mouth. as a treat!

[quiet-admirer]

📺👨‍🍳🍔

📺 What did you think of the last movie you saw?

Oh god. Ok, I didn't remember until exactly now that the last movie I watched was this Hallmark channel movie, The Irresistible Blueberry Farm, because it sounded ridiculous. It had a very tenuous grasp on a logical plot flow and how to write dialogue/how human beings speak, but it did have the dude who plays Buffy's puppy-man-turned-super-soldier boyfriend from btvs in it who has aged pretty finely unless I'm just horny rn idk.

I think I would fix the movie by making it not about somebody's Grandma deciding it was her dying wish to make sure her granddaughter knew she didn't actually love her grandpa and was pining for another guy the whole time and instead be about the grandma leaving her a blueberry farm in small-town Maine, meeting a formerly super soldier puppy man, and them restoring the farm together and the dude getting fat from all the blueberry pies, yes, they should let me make feedist movies.

🧑‍🍳 Do you have a food or cooking (or eating) tip for us?

Oh man, I actually struggle a lot with all of those things so I'm probably the worst person to ask. Bad food anhedonia and not great appetite because of stimulants, and it's hard to cook because stimulants are not enough 🙃 (Also taste changes after getting COVID 4 years ago.) But the things that help me eat more are to pace myself, eat smaller amounts over a long period, and to jump onto every craving I have so I can ride a wave of enjoying food again. And then sometimes I need to kick in my skills from back in ED recovery if the simulants are dampening my body's signals too much - if I'm not hungry for lunch but it's already 2pm, too bad, it's lunchtime so it's time to eat a lunch amount of food. Intuitive eating is all well and good but sometimes you need to power through and give your body what it needs when the intuition's not intuiting lol

Which i guess can be applied in a horny way, too, if you want. If you struggle to eat enough to gain weight, just know it is very possible to just ignore your body telling you you're not hungry and to eat any way haha

🍔 What's your ideal burger?

Something with a fried egg on it, I don't eat enough of those.

But my go-to order at my favorite local place is a turkey burger with like maple mayo or something. (Also good with BBQ sauce)

[dawnssummers]

🔥 + s4

omg buffy or angel... well i consumed at least half of angel s4 on wikia so

anyway buffy season 4! not my favourite of all the seasons but i like her... she's fun! buffy is in college! my friend goes to ucla so when watching the first few eps i would send screenshots to see if they could identify locations that was fun for me (severely annoying on twt to an audience of zero people while first watching buffy). she gave us relatable post-high school transition where you start to drift from your friends and feel confused but are really truly just vibing... all my closest friends are people i knew in high school so i liked that aspect. that one scooby hug. i feel that using giles's apartment as the scooby base rly encapsulates this bc as a place it is like the perfect transition btwn school library and magic box where they are in s5/6... she gave us tara and lesbian willow. she gave us recurring character anya. she gave us spike at his most pathetic <3 spike and giles as roommates and spike and xander as roommates... moments in history.

i do wish that they had kept maggie walsh for longer and committed more heavily to like condemning the military rather than having maggie killed off and just like giving riley a minor crisis about it in goodbye iowa? idk like the initiative is bad but i think they should have gone harder on the questionable ethics, beyond oz getting taken + maggie going off and creating adam. like i think that adam should have turned on maggie later on, this might also help to better explore the riley / buffy / adam as soldiers idea which of course buffy does subvert at the end by being a slayer with friends. and riley kinda sorta breaks free. but yes adam could still try to instigate the demons vs humans thing because maggie wants to create more of him from the destruction, then have him turn on maggie later down the line and idk still have to be defeated for xyz reasons, maybe he kills maggie because he is sick of being a War Machine but still wants to go ahead with the plan/doesn't know anything different. or something. i haven't thought this through i was just a bit annoyed at the time. also i mostly do not think about riley ever tbh but he is kinda cute for me to look at like as a lesbian. it's funny whenever riley and buffy give strong comphet vibes.

anyway again i like that nothing awful happens to buffy and there are a lot of solid episodes and nice moments... fear itself, freshman, harsh light of day, hush, something blue, a new man all come to mind immediately as fun times. "i'm nice to meet" "capricorn on the cusp of aquarius" "well, you were myth-taken" "you're gonna get heartburn" SO true. "or someone formerly dangerous and currently annoying <3" this year's girl/who are you get its own mention for epic faith moments... but yeah i appreciate the more slice-of-life vibe as the gang start to find themselves outside the confines of high school and i'm actually kinda sad that they dropped the college setting as much as i love s5. mostly sad that buffy had to drop out :( to conclude s4 is my good friend 🤝

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

fic authors self rec! when you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. let’s spread the self-love 🤍✨

I have this tendency for my favorite fics to be "whatever's most recent," just because it's still lighting up my brain -- but actually I don't have a lot of Most Recent Fic, so this is a great time for me to go back and think about stuff I loved that's in danger of being Lost to Time.

Fourteen Years (Stargate Atlantis) There's technically a pairing to this story (Sheppard/Ronon), but the vast majority of it is just character and worldbuilding around Ronon and his trauma, which is the thing I wrote most about in this fandom, because SGA did the TV Trauma thing where they were like "this guy's neat backstory is that he underwent the most horrifying agony imaginable for seven years and now he's tough and badass!" When like. That is not what it would do! Being isolated from human contact and hunted like an animal for years on end would make you very super fucked up actually! So accidentally, by forgetting his whole backstory and just making him a fun, laid-back badass, the show created this really interesting black box of a character, because how *is* he coping with *anything* actually? Anyway, I wrote several versions of answers to that question, but this is probably my favorite.

1001 (Schitt's Creek) This is actually the middle part of a three-fic series, but I don't see why you couldn't read it alone. I know coming-out stories are played out, but there is something really rich and lovely to me about people realizing in adulthood that they're not at all who they assumed they were, and obviously you should not read anything at all into that, please do not perceive me. This is a pretty short one, and I think it's well balanced between Patrick's experience of trying to understand himself and Patrick's experience falling hard for a first love. David is probably OOC here, although in my defense managing Patrick's emotions *is* the one thing in canon he tends to be level-headed about, so I'm letting myself have this one.

Orleans (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) You *cannot* give me an alternate universe in canon and expect me not to write fic in the alternate universe. So this is set in the Wish-verse created in s3, and it's written in second person, which is -- terrible, it's a very dubious choice that I do not recommend to anyone, but I was Trying Things back then, and I tried it. And I would never do it again, but for some reason I like this story, idk. I feel like this hits a lot of the beats that make it feel like a very archetypal Thing That Milo Writes -- weariness, regret, queer horniness, mortality, religious trauma. I actually like a lot of my old BtVS fic, looking back; there's definitely a rawness to the writing, but that gives it a certain charm. If this one works for you, you should definitely also read Witness and Pink Ladies.

And Watch What Happens (Supernatural) This is kind of weird one, existing in some kind of liminal zone between Canon AU and Just Plain AU -- it's got the same "coffeeshop AU without the coffeeshop" vibe that much of my Magicians fic has, but -- well, it's hard to explain how it intersects with canon and also not spoil the fic. All is not what it seems! I genuinely love this version of Cass, who was the most fun character I ever got to create right up until PGY Eliot, and not to overstate things, but I do think that spending most of 2018 writing from his POV sort of unlocked the Gender Achievement for me, like, oh huh, I think this might be the person I want to be! So, special place in the heart and all that.

All the Comforts of Home (The Magicians) My favorite Magicians fic is, of course, All of Them, even the ones that aren't good. But I'm having a renaissance with this one lately. It's got drama, it's got comedy, it's got philosophy, it's got full-tilt romance and it's got It's Complicated, it's got food porn and porn-porn and parenthood and like, the beauty of all life or some such shit. I devote most of one whole chapter to shitposting about The Sound of Music. I just really like it.

This was fun! I don't know who else has been tagged, but I'll pick @stormscoming and @nellie-elizabeth and @allegria23 and honestly anyone! Anyone who sees this should do it!

[larentsaloud]

holding myself accountable ie ADHD guide to watching dramas:

korea:

What’s wrong with secretary Kim (three more ep to watch)

LOST 2021 (ONLY THE BEST SHOW TO EVER EXIST???? )

Romance is a bonus book (one more ep to watch)

Just between lovers (actually the writing here is superb. must go back)

Lucky romance (and again I clocked out around the 12th)

She was pretty (yep I waved them goodbye at ep 12)

Memories of Alhambra (almost to the end...almost)

I am not a robot (umm...you guessed it. ep 7 I think)

Coffee Prince (YES MY BABIES. I think I completed this one)

Www search (SO GOOD. the cast the female energy is SPOT ON. did I finish it? no.)

Emergency couple (finished and rewatched!!!!)

I married an anti fan (dropped out ep 12)

Crash landing onto you (I have three more episodes to watch)

Bride of Habaek (love this so much but also spoilers there is a scene in later ep where they do the THING and it took me OUT. did not complete the series.)

Uncontrollably Fond (watched almost to the end, but not finished it for ‘reasons’)

Pinocchio (got half way through) 

Oh my Venus (did not finish, left at penultimate ep)

Squid game (watched 5 ep)

Flower of evil (dropped out at penultimate ep, but amazing series must finish it) 

Meteor garden (half way because I fell in love with the cast if not for that would have stopped sooner)

Boys over flowers (I managed to cram about 16 ep but then angst happened and I needed space)

Secret garden (half way thru)

Mad dog (half way thru)

The king the eternal monarch (three quarters in)

Where the camellia blooms (could not stand it watched two ep)

1% of something (amazing chemistry yes half way in)

Jumping girl (I sort of want to watch it??? first ep)

Hello me! (such good series but I cannot finish iiiittt)

Do you like Brahms (I FINISHED IT I LOVED IT SO MUCH)

Cheese in the trap (I FINISHED IT I HATED IT SO MUCH)

Suspicious partner ( I could not finish it. pray for me)

Healer (same)

K2 (yep)

Crowned clown (you guessed it)

Rookie historian (yeah...)

Home town cha cha cha (dropped out on ep 15 because well. idk)

Dol Sol (I FINISHED IT AND HATED THE ENDING WHY DID YOU DO ME LIKE THAT???)

Devilish joy (I love their chemistry they were incredibleeeeee. did not finish. looked like traumatising ending too scared)

Into the ring (yaaay my fave couple. did not finish it. not enough angst.)

Tale of the nine tailed (too much angst)

My roommate is a Gumiho (ANGST PERSONIFIED)

Vagabond (UGH. need to finish. such good series)

I’ll go to you when the weather is nice (literally love the cinematography but,,)

Doom at your service (ANGST IN YOUR FACE. uff. too perplexing. loved it. best kiss YET.)

Kill me heal me (lmao, I did not finish it because she screamed so much but HIS ACTING)

Mask (oh yeah this is amazing. should see how it pans out. love the actors)

Secret love (I COMPLETED THIS AND THIS SHOW BROUGHT ME TO MY KNEEEESSS ARGH I LOVED IT SO MUCH AKSJSKJSAJKD)

Take of nokdu (IN LOVE. MUST GO BACK)

Marriage not dating (so funny if you want FUN this is it. they are both so yummy. did not get to the ending but would recommend)

Blood (OHHHHH. if only there was less blood)

Descendants of the sun (ok but how can anyone watch this without enrolling to medical school to meet HIM?)

Weight lifting fairy (I love it? I do. I just...yeah)

Korean odyssey (my god. why won't they kiss properly I cannot take it)

Come and hug me (these two own my heart. too much to handle tbh)

Beautiful Kong Min Shi (such an underrated show. yes. but also no)

Masters Sun (please how can anyone like this its so 90s Buffy. I mean I leak Buffy. but also wtf)

Behind your smile (???)

Falling into innocence (YES but then he cut his hair so I left. im fickle)

Abbys (they were lush together amazing plot amazing everything I did not get to the end. little predictable for ADHD. not enough angst. you need the right amount of angst.)

W— two worlds apart (I love them together ok? but I could not get there)

You are my spring (a bit??? dunno)

It’s ok not to be ok (my early K drama! did I finish it? no)

My love from another star 

While you were sleeping (great story I just didn't like their chemistry) 

You are beautiful (ahaha the 2010 hair) 

That winter the wind blows (they are mesmerising together I just have too many feelings about the bro and sis situation help) 

Red sleeve ( I found out about the ending. glad I did not finish it)

Lawless Lawyer (THIS SHOW PLS WATCH IT. I should too. ep7)

Touch your heart (I love them <3 did not finish it)

True beauty (I don't remember???)

My shy boss ( amazing showww, one more ep I think)

Cinderella and four knights (why why why did you not let her end up with the SL. you got it wrong show no.)

Love alarm (FUCK YOU TO THE WRITERS. FUCK OFF. NO. THIS IS WHY I DONT WATCH THE ENDINGS. YOU DO THIS TO ME?????)

You are my destiny (LOVED THE KOREAN VERSION)

Because this is my first life (MY COMFORT SHOW WILL NEVER BE OVER IT)

Don’t dare to dream (the triangle was ridiculous. but the KISSINGGGG)

Run On (should I watch to the end? kinda like it)

Nevertheless (aghsakhjdjakhasjkhsdajhk YES WITH MY WHOLE CHEST I REWATCHED IT ABOUT THOUSAND TIMES ONLY)

Mysterious Love (OH YES. BUT HARD TO COMPLETE might the c drama)

Vincenzo (WELL STILL NOT WATCHED IT TO THE END PRAY FOR ME)

My name (I don't know?)

Itaewon class (oh yeah, I like this but also I don’t?)

Heirs (meh? I was rooting for the wrong characters damn it)

Healer (did not see the ending)

Goblin (could not bring myself to see the ending)

Dali and the cocky prince (meh? ep 8)

Stranger (this show is so goooooooood why did I not watch the second series yettt)

Blood (too much blood)

Crowned clown (oh...yeah)

Navillera (so good if only I can get past ep 8)

When my love blooms (no idea what this was)

Happiness (love love love but also too scared to go back and watch)

Let me be your knight (my fav actor! yes!)

Now we are breaking up (meh)

Madame Antoine (BEST BEST BEST BICKERING ALERT)

Imitation (HER HAIR PLS I WILL CRY.NO)

Love: ft Marriage & divorce (...)

VIP (mom forced me to watch it. did not

Where the stars land (love them <3 will finish this one actually) 

Monthly magazine home (YES great drama will try to get there)

Hotel del luna (currently watching)

Mermaid one with lee min ho (YESSSSSS watched over and over)

Yumi’s cells ( great casting. great story. dropped ep 6)

I have a lover (dear god this show was all the cliches and I actually love to hate it) 

Strong girl (ugh I could not finish this guys)

thai:

Tharn Type (yeah fine I didn't)

2gether (same as above)

Bad Buddy (yep)

You are my sky (aksjhdsakjh)

F4 (I will love this show until the day I die, it will be on my grave) 

bromance (the best gender bender out there)

China

Put your head on my shoulder (??? I literally remember nothing. dropped early)

Falling into your smile (idk. they are so pretty but thousand episodes not something I can do)

Find yourself (hated the second ML. sorry)

Please feel at ease Mr Ling (hmmm, too much like other shows)

My unicorn girl (MY FAV C DRAMA<3)

Love me if you dare (if only I could watch this show. I do love the cast tho)

Across the ocean to see you (lovely show. lemme try to watch again)

To fly with you (YES)

Skate into love (loved) 

Why women love ( currently watching) 

Japan 

My beautiful man (will rewatch forever) 

Case of Incurable Love (almost almost finished it and loved it)

Mischevious Kiss (Tokyo) (ooooh I should finish this its so cute y'all) 

From five to nine (this show is on crack I love it) 

My love mix up (adorable) 

Hana- kimi ( I love gender benderssss)

Coffee and Vanilla ( wtf was this I had question marks the whole time)

[dimples-of-discontent]

Bex, Im just so fucking sad. I liked NOTHING about that ending and idk what to do with myself now.

I hear you, friend, and the main reaction I had to reading about this hot garbage fire of a finale (b/c I didn’t have an easy way to watch it...and now I plan to wait until my emotional investment is lower) was concern and love for all the people who are going to be so let down by this. It’s not me, because at the moment I have more emotional distance from SPN than in the past. But I’ve been there. The show and this ship was there for me when I needed it the most and I cannot imagine what today’s episode would have done to me back in 2017/8 when this community is what kept me feeling ok with my life and connected to other humans. I hope anyone in that position will take a minute to remember the things that are good about the fandom, and about the show in the past, and remember that endings aren’t everything. I know it sounds so trite, but it really IS about the friends we made along the way.

So, I’m ok and ready to crack jokes as a coping mechanism. But that’s because I’m very used to getting bad news. And if you’re not, this ending would really knock you back. Like, it seemed almost aggressively insensitive to what the show and especially the DeanCas relationship mean to people in the fandom. I was prepared, mentally, for it to be open-ended. For example, way back when I even spec-ed that Dean would die and and Cas would meet him in Heaven, smiling and saying one final “hello, Dean.” Or even that they’d just amble off to ambiguously spend Dean’s life together on earth. To not offer that--and to so explicitly not offering it after going where 15x18 went--shows either how out-of-touch they are or how deliberately cruel they are. I’m hoping to go with the first option.

Let me back up a sec. When I tell you I’m very used to getting bad news, believe it. In January 2019 I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. That’s the latest stage and my best case scenario is constantly living in treatment (no “getting through it”)  that keeps cancer from killing me. That sounds dramatic and it is. My life expectancy (at 34) went to an average of 1.5-3 years. I have a tag for it and a sideblog about it if you want to follow, but that’s not the point. The point is that I’ve been through the wringer with this (currently in treatment 4 in 20 months, none so far have worked for long) and the way I prepared myself  for tonight’s finale was exactly like when I wait for the scan results that tell me if the cancer is better or worse. Like, even now that’s how fucking serious it felt to me. And yes, I can and do put it in perspective by thinking “hey! it’s a tv show! and I get all the good fandom things no matter what!” but don’t for a second feel bad for taking it seriously, ok?

So to answer a little the question of what  to do with yourself: feel sad. Or feel angry or feel like getting high (and go for it!) or play the cowboy scene in 13x06 on repeat...whatever lets you feel your feelings. Don’t tell yourself your feelings are “wrong” or let other assholes on here make you feel bad for having them. (And seriously? People on here? Just be fucking kind, ok?) Also don’t set a limit on how long you can feel sad. It takes as long as it takes. None of us have a lot to make us feel better right now, with this terrible year and heading into lockdown again, and this show used to. Now it’s been taken from you. It’s a loss, and you should grieve that loss.

Also, figure out what is making you feel worse and stop doing it. If that’s Tumblr, take a break for a while! If it’s particular blogs, mute them or unfollow but make a note to follow later. If it’s all of SPN, symbolically remove it from your life or (and I do this a lot!) find a new temporary hyperfixation. (Have you watched “Buffy” yet? Watch “Buffy.”) You don’t owe attention to negative things in your life. It makes them stronger. Ignore trolls and use the block button at will.

I’m not leaving and I hope other people will consider not leaving too. The show gave us a LOT, even if very little of it was in these last episodes. 

And, in the meantime, dear Nonnie, may I recommend diving into my archive through tags and getting heavily, heavily into Cockles because honestly they will never let you down and they are all sweetness and light. There’s a reason that I have a tag for “cockles is a happy destiel au.”

Take care, Nonnie, and so should the rest of you. Feel your feelings, disengage if necessary, but know that I at least will be here when I can. Our community has way more life left in it.

Love,

Bex

[cullxtheherd]

oh my god I haven't thought about BtVS in so long fdjsaio tell me some of your Angel/Angelus headcanons (insert eyes emoji here)

jhbjghljkghkfgl; oh my GOD i honestly never stopped loving AtS or BtVS!! bgut i did stop watching originally when Doyle perished cause?? sorry but he is babey and though i do understand why the actor was let go from his role, it's still super upsetting. i hate the episode Hero and also love it to pieces- just watched it yesterday and screamed ALLEN FRANCIS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for just. so long. tbh i was thinking about adopting him as a muse but tbh with you Angel and older 90s/early 00s muses don't get much attention anyways so i haven't yet skdjksds maybe after Harry from Resident Alien later tonight gets added I'll think about it again ksjdksjd. ANYWAYS THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU ASKED FOR KSJDSkfsd ON WITH IT!! just be aware there is no way i can include all the headcanons here so i'll just hlglhkglkhlgk about the ones i can think of asap

𝓐𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵

in the show (both buffy & angel) they are constantly telling us through dialogue, scene setting, etc that the reason Angel and (later) Spike hate killing and feeding suddenly is because "killing humans = bad ☹ grr, arrgh." i think it runs deeper than this. i think they are not solely repulsed because it is the morally wrong thing to do. i think they are disgusted in?? an almost obsessive way because of how badly they'd still like to do it despite knowing better and having control over themselves. certain episodes the way Angel and Spike's portrayals go: yes definitely they are giving us that and barely highlighting it. but i really. i don't remember either show ever coming out and saying it outright.

personally i think that the Buffy/Angel romance seems waaaayyy super crazy rushed in the show and i'm not really sure if they/joss even meant it like that! it just really be seeming that way af!!! logically the whole affair lasts about/just shy of three years if we are doing the maths and technically?? it really took 1.5 years before they even did the ol squelchy welch. which lmaooa jksdhkdjsfd can you imagine?? any young adults in a consenting relationship actually waiting that long?? yeah ekjnbswedsdxfks anyways. i just? idk. loved AtS and BtVS very much but his departure seemed super rushed and so did their romance bye sjhdbfs

speaking of?? while i am very much a buffy/angel ship supporter as an adult i do find it so freaking weird he?? was made by Darla in 1898 and theennnn spent 171 motha fuckin years parading around as Angelus- didn't even know about Buffy Summers until he was already 269 (nice) and when acathala SHAT his ass back out he was already 371, she was a juNIOr in higHSCHOOOLPLK ANNNDDD i have a hEAdache i gotta goooOO

no but really i. skhjfjhgf as an adult i am weirded out but?? idk it's one of my childhood ships i gotta pry it from my OWN cold dead hands i guess smh

personally i think Angel keeps trinkets from the people he's saved over the years. and i don't mean at random Investigations via his detective agency or, later, Wolfram & Hart. i mean?? the cases we see like?? the episode 'are you now or have you ever been' that takes us back to the 1950s and the Hyperion Hotel in it's heyday. angel aided a woman named Judy Kovacs- albeit rather reluctantly to try and escape and THEN a literal MOB beat and lynched his ass and thennNNNN, in present time, he fights against the same life-sucking chaos-causing Thesulac demon with his friends/colleagues. after all of this he finds Judy somehow still in her room (214) surviving just a few doors down from his (217) so many years ago just?? waiting. and while canonically the show has Angel in room 312? I disagree. i think he would have taken up residence in 214 or 217...... 214 cause i'm feeling sappy. check his bathroom cabinets i bet you it's got at least a few of her accoutrements living inside.

i think?? despite?? darla not being able to take his soul via the big squelchy that he and Angelus really did care about her- heck!! in the early?? 1900s he DID try to return to her and adapt to her violent way of life he just couldn't do it

while i am?? verryyy willing to write buffy/angel ship stuff i really do think after the events in I Will Remember You it would take a literal set of miracles to get him to even attempt being with Buffy again. i think that while he will always love her no matter what that he has learned that?? things that are or seem too?? good or pure for a creature like him genuinely are. though he is/was the Powers That Be-s-es-es?? ES favorite ensouled boy-toy i really, genuinely do think that a happy ending is just NOT in the cards for our boyo

if buffy wasn't evidence enough of that fact?? cordy. Skip really came and took her just like that. then the whatevers that WHOEVER shat her back out to really just give birth to jasmine and connor and i rrepwsrenbjhdfbskdjnsf worst. season. EVER. i refuse i fucking REFUSE TO EGHV ADBAKJSDFALKFNKSADJF???!?!?!?! i hate it so much. i hate it. so. m u c h. connor and cordy should have never EVER been a thing and i will erase it from history if i have to give birth to myself to do it

𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝𝕦𝕤

hoo babey. while angel is?? reserved and doesn't?? really mention any kind of explorative or wild side with any regularity in the show this wild child leather-pants-wearing abomination gives NO shits. he is very, VERY pansexual and you can fight my spirit on top of my grave about it.

regarding the last thing i said: there was definitely a polyamorous relationship happening between Angelus, Darla, Spike and Drusilla in my book. there are certain... jealous scenarios- heck!! just LOOK at episodes with Spike where he's being pouty about not getting the proper attention he deserves. if you think this is just about Dru i am begging you to reconsider

also?!?!?!?! PENN?! Penn was so obsessively and grossly in love with Angelus his sire I can not EVEN BEGIN TO FIUBNFDAKJSDFN

i think?? there are times in Angel's day-to-day where he not only misses but craves the presence of Angelus and visa versa. Angelus obviously seems a bit more openly repulsed by his softer side cause like?? each half is SO strongly suited to one extreme and?? as much as Angel and Angelus would both loathe my next statement: two halves do make a whole.

i think that while?? Angel may be cursed with a soul, that's not all. Angelus doesn't have regular control any longer, for sure, but i really do think it is oftentimes a daily battle to tune him out. why?? the orb of thesulah is only used to summon and store a human soul until it is re/tethered to a body. the ritual that the "Gypsies" and Willow performed didn't?? do anything with the actual demon. it didn't send it back to whatever Hell dimension it came from it just?? gave angel a soul- it gave what was left of Liam (O'Connor if you follow fan-lore) control over himself and the demon inhabiting his body. though the show never depicts or portrays this i am willing to bet real money that somewhere, deep down Angelus is on the inside rattling his mirror against the bars screaming: IM HENRY THE EIGTH I AM I AM!!! over and over an over and ov-

angel, however, when not in control seems to go into some semi-mostly dormant state as evidenced by the fact that he was entirely gone during their time in Acathala and relied on solely the demon half to get him through, but?? i'm 56% sure he is there sniveling in the ether when Angelus is driving he's just?? clearly not as strong mentally.

while?? Angel is a very respectable creature who cares about and loves his friends/found family i really do think that Angelus loves NO ONE. i think he cares about a few entities but i do not think he is capable of love proper as we think of it- both shows continuously remind us that number one in Angelus's world is, in fact, Angelus which means...

i doubt he really cares about pleasing his partner/s where that is likely Angel's main objective and lskjdnfjd i really have to go before this gets super raunchy

[cescalr]

6 & 7 for the fanfic questions pls?

Oh boy, these will be long ones. Buckle in, boys, I'm on mobile and cant cut.

(I'm just gonna do active ones or we might be here forever, also ignoring ones I dont have OTPs for like KTTK and ones I forget entirely like TBOB)

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Teen Wolf - Stalia (I am ANGRY forever, dunno if the ending changed me to being a Malira-Steo first-place-shared OTP situation or not, haven't decided, I'm. Stubborn and easily attached to things)

Harry Potter - Ronarry/Harron

Buffy/ATS - uhhhh help Spike/Buffy/Faith and Fred/Wesley it's two shows!!! I can put two ships!!! (Also yes I Know spuffy is difficult, Seeing Red was a horrendous episode and I hate it, and yes I know faith has done a lot of bad things, I do not need to be told these things i watched the same shows you did)

Riordanverse - hhhnnn uhh Percabeth?? I guess??? Look I need to reread these like Yesterday... I Dont Recall

,,, ok this is actually like a Really Long List but for some reason??? I've forgotten like half of them

OH shep/joker from Mass Effect uhuh yepperoni still mad you cant romance him put it in the remaster!!! You cowards!!! Also fix the lack of good love interests for fem!shep just. As a whole thanks, thinking about what Jacob did still hurts me to this day,,, do remember I was born in 2001 akfjlajdls I should probably have not been playing ME... Oh Well

Uhhh HOA I'm a basic bitch Fabina all the way bro

H2O Zikki was done DIRTY

GMW Lucaya, y'know, I'm predictable, it's always gotta be the ones with Hidden Depths for me guys, and what I mean is Maya and Lucas were FAR more interesting than Riley and the others I said what I said

Theres just. Too many. Let's continue

YES I know Seddie was iffy in canon,,,, no my heart does not care, also with some halfway decent therapy it would have been pretty good for both of them,,, literal case of right people wrong time and place

Jori's pretty cool but consider: Jandre, let beck and tori be vaguely ??? together while the good characters with Hidden Depths hang out

LOOK I am predictable and i care lots about Disa, Dean/Lisa, supernatural is killing me slowly I'm part way through season six, I cant wait to be crushed further, j hate it, I know what happens and the anticipation is pain, can dean not be happy??? Whith his family??? Can he not?????????

UM Santa clarita diet??? Obviously Joel and sheila are wonderful

Nobody wants to know my yogsmc ships and I'm not divulging them here bc frankly I dont want to get mistaken for an RPF chick, I am NOT that thank you, what they are is probably pretty obvious from my blog,,,, alright fine I'm a Zoethian bitch, block game made me cry 'I miss you I need you I love you' my heART

Uhhhh

Uhhhhhhh

People are gonna kill me for my Oxenfree one huh... if only I could say it was Alex/Nona,,, it's not, but it's a close second

Same for 13 reasons why,,,, not that I like the show or anything its god awful but idk the characters arent the awful plot you know, and besides I only ever saw like two??? Tbree?? Episodes??? Its Clustin please dont stab me in tbe gut Zalex has my whole heart too dont worry

Uhhhhhhhhhh

Uhhhhh

God I'm bad at this

Theres so many more but I just dont remember them uhhh

oH yeah as previously stated; basic bitch, Warden/Alistair in DA:O

Um.

Ummmm.

Yeah ok that's kind of it at least for this morning (oh boy, 2 am sldjldkakflhs)

HEY throwback time (not that this list hasn't been mostly throwbacks for me lol) uhhh Etharah from My Babysitter's a Vamipre yeah that was good

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

This is a shorter list. Please do not kill me.

Sterek

Drarry

Destiel

The most obvious and least contreversial: anything with Bryce Walker in it

Creddie

Rucas

Shep/Garrus, please just let them be bros

Bangel or Willara (cries) because A) he was a 26 year old man who was also 100s of years old and she was 15/16/he turned into angelus on her 17th birthday I THINK and that sucks but anyway the point being: statutory rape/ephebophilia = no fun and B) Willow Was Scary please leave Tara's head alone shes suffered enough listen! To! Her! Song!! she didnt need you abusing her trust miss Rosenberg I will fight you on her behalf-

Anyway!

Benthan I'm just here, not shipping all the most popular ships out of sheer coincidence

Idk what else... guess that's it then OH HOA mara/Fabian was Dumb as all get out yeah that's it

Thanks!! And I hope that the fact I'm not a huge fan of Sterek isnt gonna be a problem >-< can't exactly be helped. :) ♡ Thanks again!!

[rosedavid]

Hi idk if you are looking for fic requests but I always wanted to read a fic of when cyrus told buffy he liked tj and I felt like u would be a good writer for this I've read a bunch of your fics and love them!

hi!! thank you so much for your support!

…

For the past couple of weeks, Cyrus hasn’t been acting like himself. To most people, Cyrus probably appears like his boisterous, joking, self. After all, he still laughs at jokes, pays rapt attention in class, and talks a mile a minute. But Buffy’s known Cyrus for practically their entire lives. She can tell that there’s something a bit off with him. 

His eyes don’t match the smiles on his face. Normally, his eyes will be glistening with mirth and happiness, but now Buffy doesn’t notice the smile quite reaching his eyes. He laughs, but the laughs are more robotic and forced than the usual outburst of giggles. He sometimes cuts his ramblings off short and just stares off into the distance for a second before continuing as if nothing happened. 

It doesn’t take Buffy much brain power to put two and two together. Of course, she knows about the events of costume day. She knows that Kira’s somehow getting under TJ’s skin because there’s no way that TJ would have thought about ditching Cyrus before. She knew that Cyrus was really upset about the entire situation, but she didn’t realize exactly how deep it went until one day in the cafeteria.

“The chemistry test was brutal,” Cyrus sighs, burying his sorrows into his food. “I think I failed.”

“So, in ‘Cyrusese’, that means you got an -A?” Andi asks to confirm with a snicker. Beside her, Buffy joins in with a bark of laughter. 

“Hey, this is a serious matter!” Cyrus complains. “I’m just saying that I think our chemistry teacher–” 

Suddenly, he cuts off. His eyes widen and his expression drops into a cold, blank slate. His skin seems to pale in seconds, and he starts fidgeting with the long sleeves of his jacket. Buffy frowns, turning to see what caught his eye. Walking in through the entrance of the cafeteria is TJ Kippen, giggling with his new best friend Kira. Recently, none of them have seen him in the cafeteria. Today is the first time since the incident that they have. And Cyrus…Cyrus has this strange look on this face. It’s not anger or even jealousy really, more just disappointment. In that moment, Buffy truly starts to understand. 

“Um…I forgot, I left something in my last class,” Cyrus mutters out of the blue, scrambling to pack up his bag. 

“Cyrus–” Andi tries, but he just hurries faster, stuffing everything in his bag before getting up from the lunch table and scurrying out of the cafeteria. 

As Cyrus hurries out, the two of them spot TJ watching him with a slight frown. Of course, this doesn’t last long; a few seconds later, Kira tugs at his sleeve with frustration, most likely to get his undying attention again. He simply smiles at her, following her to the lunch line. 

“Should we…” Andi asks, motioning toward where Cyrus just left from. 

Buffy nods, already preparing herself to follow him. 

Knowing the special connection that Buffy and Cyrus have with this type of thing, Andi simply asks, “Make sure he’s okay?”

“I will.”

With that, Buffy gathers her things and gets up from the table herself. Although she isn’t quite sure where Cyrus went, she has an inkling. There’s this big oak tree in front of the school that Cyrus adores, and she has a feeling that he just wants to get away from everything right now. 

Sure enough, she finds him there, back leaning up against the scratchy bark. His eyes are closed as if he’s relaxing, but his body remains tense. His backpack is haphazardly thrown off to the side somewhere, and he runs his hands over the top of the grass. 

“You’re avoiding TJ,” Buffy says, plain and simple. Despite how easily Cyrus startles, he doesn’t seem surprised to hear Buffy’s voice. He must’ve figured at least one of them would chase after him, but she has a feeling he wishes it were someone else. 

“I’m not,” Cyrus protests, but it’s weak. 

Buffy sighs, going to sit beside him. She can’t understand how this is possibly comfortable. The bark digs into her back, and the grass tickles her skin. Still, she refuses to go anywhere until they talk this out because that’s what friends do. 

“Have you two talked recently?”

Cyrus shrugs, “He’s been busy.”

“Yeah, busy with Kira,” Buffy mutters snidely under her breath. 

Cyrus sits up slightly, eyes still downcast. He plucks a piece of grass out of the dirt and splits into miniscule pieces. “Maybe.”

“Why are you not more upset about this?”

“I was at first,” Cyrus admits. “I just…I realized that I don’t want to force TJ to do something he doesn’t want to. I don’t want to be a bad friend to him. If he likes Kira, then he likes her. I’m not going to get in the way of that.”

“Cyrus,” Buffy begins, grasping his shoulder tightly to get his attention. He looks up, dropping the grass pieces onto his pant leg. “It’s okay. You know that, right?”

“But it isn’t,” he disagrees, head hitting the trunk of the tree with a dull thud. Buffy winces at the sound. “I-I don’t know if I can do this again, Buffy. I just recently got over my crush on Jonah. I just feel like a broken record, sometimes.”

“Hey, we talked about this. You are not broken, you are no different. You’re amazing and caring toward everyone, even if they may not deserve it. You always see the good in people, Cyrus Goodman, and TJ would be blind not to see that.”

Cyrus chuckles softly, and his eyes begin to water. Buffy reaches over and wraps an arm around his shoulder. He gratefully sags into her side, head coming to rest in the crook of her neck. Everything out there is peaceful. The leaves rattle above them like echoes in the distance. Cars kick up pieces of gravel and rocks as they drive along the streets. The sun peaks through the branches, sending speckled patterns of light across them. 

There’s so much more they both could say, and they know it. But this is enough. 

“I love you, Buffy.”

“Love you too, Cy.”

[all-seeing-ifer]

8 + 13 Buffy !

8. Most visually beautiful or interesting episode/scene

Honestly there’s so many scenes in Buffy that are really visually interesting - one of my favourite things about the show is how despite its clearly very limited budget the direction is often incredibly ambitious, especially for a 90s show! Obviously I have to mention Restless because it has so many creative visuals and so many of the effects are really simple yet really effective - like I love that the surreal scene transitions were literally just done by filming the actors walking between sets! Also it is genuinely the only dream sequence I’ve ever seen in TV that actually felt the way dreams feel to me, especially the way they put emphasis on really small elements or bits of dialogue to make even seemingly ordinary scenarios feel really off and intense. I’ve got kind of off topic and I’m more just talking about the writing of the episode now, but my point stands!

In terms of individual scenes, I really love the opening of The Body because I’m secretly super pretentious and appreciate a well-executed long take, and the one shot in the Standing sequence of Once More, With Feeling where Buffy is filmed in slow motion in the foreground and Giles is in the background not in slow motion because A) I love the symbolism of it and B) It looks deceptively simple but I have no idea how they did it and it drives me up the wall!!!!

Oh and speaking of!!!! Idk if this counts but the choreography in OMWF is legit really good a lot of the time and I love watching it! Like I appreciate the omwf choreography to the extent that I used the I’ll Never Tell dance break as a reference for my end of year film! When will modern movie musicals ever!!

13. Overall best-written episode

For me, it has to be The Body - it’s definitely not an episode I enjoy or would want to rewatch very often, but the writing is just so so GOOD OH MY GOD HOW DO I EVEN TALK ABOUT IT????? 

Ok so to properly express how incredibly powerful the writing is to me I should probably say this - The Body was one of the first episodes of Buffy I ever saw, because my friend who introduced me to btvs was apparently very not good at choosing which episodes of a show to use to get people into it. So I watched this episode like a couple of years before I got into the show proper and I had basically no context for anything that was happening in it, and yet!! Even with my complete lack of knowledge of any of the characters or anything like that I could still really appreciate how unique and just...visceral the episode is. Like it feels so raw and genuine and you can tell that so much of it comes from this really personal place, which definitely stands out from the rest of Buffy which tends to feel almost unapologetically scripted (which sounds like a dig but I really don’t mean as a bad thing...but again I’m getting off topic that’s a whole other ramble). I guess the point I’m trying to make is that it’s so impressive to me how the episode manages to walk this fine line between really diving deep into the misery of this awful situation while never feeling like it’s just trying to be sad. Like it actually has a lot to say about death and grief and the existential nightmare that is mortality and I think that all that, combined with how personal it feels, really makes it work as a genuine piece of art! It’s such a unique exploration of grief because you get to see how everyone is impacted by Joyce’s death, even people who don’t really know her that well, like Anya, and I think that’s something you don’t really see in media most of the time? Like normally when a character dies the narrative will at most focus on the couple of characters that were closest to them, so I love that The Body extends the scope of that to really take a deep dive into everyone’s responses and how they’re affected by their unique relationships to Joyce!

Oh god I rambled so much about that but hey, I don’t think it’s controversial to say that The Body is a fantastic piece of writing and it deserves to be rambled about!

[comradesummers]

3, 17, 27?

Hi, thank you for asking!

Top 5 underrated TV shows

Idk what really qualifies as underrated, but I’ll try my best.

1. Legends of Tomorrow

Like, outside of the cult following, people don’t give it credit for being one of the most creative and batshit crazy shows on TV. I think what really gets missed in the conversation about Legends, even when the show is brought up, is that it’s not just a weird, kooky show. I genuinely believe LoT is doing something that no other show on TV is doing rn. Like it may be silly, and not take itself too seriously, but it’s actually super creative, it tries new things, it takes risks that shows that take themselves more seriously don’t have the luxury of taking. It’s out there doing something genuinely different from the regular serialized drama format that’s overtaking television, and that’s unique and important and we should appreciate it more.  

2. Every show for or about women that’s ever been referred to as a “guilty pleasure” by men, including but not limited to: BtVS, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Jane the Virgin, Sex and the City (I haven’t even seen it, but I know that it changed television as we know it, and men still dismiss it as meaningless fluff), Gilmore Girls, and too many other shows to list here. All of them are underrated by assholes who think they’re too good for girl things.

3. Blackadder

Y’know, the concept of something being underrated is super weird, because like the question becomes: underrated by who? I mean, if you’re in the know about British comedies or whatever, then of course you know that Blackadder is one of the funniest and most innovative shows ever. But with everyone else I’ve talked to in real life, I’ve had to explain that Mr. Bean and Dr. House dress up in period costumes, and hang out with different important historical figures in British history, and it’s really funny and great (except for maybe the first season).  

4. Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23

And then on the other hand, I’m pretty sure a lot of people on Tumblr know what this show is, and know it’s hilarious, but I would still probably consider it underrated and pretty unknown outside of certain circles.

5. Sense8

Again, I’m not sure it’s underrated on Tumblr but more people need to see it, so I’m counting it. I like Sense8 for the same reason I like Legends: it took risks, and did things other shows weren’t doing, albeit on a much larger and more unruly budget, which is probably why it got cancelled. But it really was a great, if short lived show, and I wish it had gone on for longer.

Top 5 “deserved better” characters

1. Kendra Young

Yeah, so I think there are two reasons that Kendra’s death makes me so angry. The first being just how much potential was wasted with her death. Yeah, they made her do a goofy accent, but she was still a really interesting character. Her worldview was completely entrenched in that of the Council. She was raised by them, and had never rebelled like Giles had. She would have made an amazing contrast to Buffy and the gang, but I also think there’s a really great story there about her coming to terms with just how exploited by those assholes she had been. Also, her dynamic with Buffy was already fascinating, and I think they had really good chemistry (I ship it).

The other reason her death makes me so angry is that she is the most obvious example of the horrendous treatment of people of color on BtVS. It really is unacceptable how white that show is, and once the writers finally did create an interesting and powerful (if admittedly pretty stereotypical) woman of color, they killed her off after three episodes. Kendra deserved better just like every other non-white character on BtVS deserved better.

2. Meg Manning and Paker Lee

(Yeah, I’m cheating, it’s a tie.) So one of the main issues that I have with Veronica Mars is that there just aren’t that many women on the show. With the exception of Veronica herself, most of the main characters are men, and most of Veronica’s important relationships, be they romantic, familial, or platonic, are with men.

The female characters we do have either have very little screentime, in spite of their considerable awesomeness (Mac and Jackie). Or, in the case of Meg and Parker, are used and disposed of according to the needs of the plot, often to create drama in Veronica’s love life. Meg surviving the bus crash, only to be killed off once she’d given birth, basically because she was no longer relevant to the Duncan/Veronica story is super icky and gross. And Parker getting dismissed as nothing more than road bump in LoVe’s story by both the show and the fandom drives me a little crazy, especially considering how she was introduced to the show.

Also, while we’re at it, every single ‘feminist’ character in season 3 deserved better from Rob Thomas.

3. Tara Maclay

She deserved to live, and we the viewers deserved better than Bury Your Gays.

4. Martha Jones

I mean, Martha Jones deserved better from the fandom more than anything else. And I’m adding her to the list because I’m one of the many people who owes Martha and Freema Agyeman an apology. I was like 12 when I watched Doctor Who for the first time, and I totally bought into the racist sexist bullshit (she’s boring, why is she in love with the Doctor, etc.). To be fair, I also bought into a lot of sexist bullshit when it came to Rose, so I hated her too, but obviously Martha got the shorter end of the stick, because of racism, and she deserved so, so much better.

5. Donna Noble

Fuck the amnesia bullshit and erasing her character development. Why did they have to do this to her? What possible purpose did it serve? Why not just give her a reason to leave and go home like every other companion? Wtf was the point? Was it just so that the doctor would have manpain about it?

Nevermind, I think I just answered my own question.

Top 5 brotps

Ok, not including any relationships I view as purely familial (Dawn and Buffy, Giles and Buffy, Tara and Dawn, Holt and anybody, etc.). Friendships only.

1. Buffy and Willow

Buffy and Willow love each other so much, and they hurt each other a lot too. This relationship isn’t simple and sweet, it starts out that way, but it becomes difficult, and they both do things to one another that I don’t think either one of them ever fully forgives the other for. But even still, at their worst, they love each other so deeply and so completely. This relationship is at the core of the show, I think. It’s arguably the first relationship the show establishes, and the one it spends most time on. The ups and downs are painful, but they feel real (even when they involve things like bringing someone back from the dead without their consent or whatever). And through it all, they never stop loving each other. As flawed as it may be, I think it’s also one of the most complex, interesting, and important relationships between two women ever on television. And that’s worth celebrating.

2. Jane and Petra

So I’ve been on a bit of a Jane the Virgin kick lately, and I’ll be honest, I can’t decide if this is a brotp or an otp. But I love Petramos too, so let’s go with brotp.

In any case, these two were pretty much my endgame for the show. I really didn’t care who Jane ended up with (unless it was Petra, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen), and I got sick of her love triangle real quick (to be fair, I just really can’t stand love triangles, which is why I didn’t give the show a shot for a long time). As for Petra, I just really wanted her to have a healthy relationship with someone, and Jane seemed to be the only person who seemed interested in having a healthy relationship with her.

Plus their dynamic is just amazing and hilarious. My favorite scenes in the show are always when they’re on screen together. The way they grudgingly grow to care about and love each other is genuinely sweet and well developed. And I love how even when they do become friends, their basic moral divide never changes. They still disagree very strongly about certain things, but they love each other regardless. And btw, the scene where they say “I love you” to each other for the first time might be my favorite “I love you” scene ever, platonic or otherwise.

I just love them so much.

3. Gurl Group (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)

This is another show about romance where I’m far more invested in the female friendship than I am in any of the romances, but to be fair, I think CxG kind of wants you to do that anyway.

Regardless, I love everyone in this Gurl Group, individually and together. And their individual relationships are already fascinating. Like, Rebecca and Valencia’s frienship is pure enemies to lovers friends bliss and I love it. Rebecca and Paula’s relationship is the heart of the show, and like Buffy and Willow, this relationship is often difficult and complicated, but the love is always there. And we never had enough scenes of Heather and Valencia interacting. Every scene where they were together was pure comedic gold. And the group together as a whole was just so powerful and amazing to behold.

4. Amy and Rosa

They do not have enough scenes together. This relationship deserves the same amount of care and development as Jake and Charles get. Melissa and Stephanie have great chemistry. And like, their characters are so different, so the contrast is always so funny. But they also love each other, and support each other, and it’s so much fun to watch. I need 10000% more Amy/Rosa content.

5. Buffy and Veronica

This one’s probably also cheating because it’s a crossover and all, but I’m just kind of obsessed with the idea of them meeting, sparks flying, enemies to lovers friends, the works. They would just have such a fantastic dynamic. Like, think of all the verbal sparring that we would be blessed with. Think of all the drama and angst of them coming to understand and respect each other. If there is one crossover that I would will into existence if I could, it would definitely be this one.

[mickey-milkovichs]

for the show ask meme: 9, 17, 19 (but you can't say s3 faith hehe), 23! 💕

9. season ranking?

okay this changes every day! seriously. but for right now i think:

1. season 3. season 3 will always be my favorite. not just cause of faith and fuffy (but like, hello) but also because i think it has the PERFECT balance of main arc and one off episodes. like, the faith and the mayor arc is my favorite main arc, and then we have amazing one offs like the prom, band candy, the zeppo, the wish, doppelgangland (vamp willow!!), homecoming, anne, earshot, etc. i mean this season is so amazing, there’s almost no bad episodes, it just has the perfect balance. i love it. the only slight negatives for me are xander/willow, the whole cheating thing, not enough faith in the beginning of the season, but this is the perfect season for me. seriously, faith BREAKS my heart. and bad girls happened. 

2. season 2. ugh i love this season, and again it’s always going to be my second favorite. these two don’t change. the whole angel turning to angelus twist got me SHOOK on the first watch, and is the moment i really fell in love with the show. spike/drusilla/angelus is delicious. and we have adorable woz and xander/cordelia. to me the later scoobies could never replace the early ones, im sorry. willow starts to do magic! to me this season is the show at it’s most “itself” if that makes sense. still a lot of corny monster of the week episodes left over from season one, but still an amazing season.

3. season 4. i used to not be big on season 4. it was just such a jarring change coming off of my favorite era (the high school years) and my favorite season. i miss angel and cordy and my heart breaks when oz leaves. the setting was so different and weirdly...big and bright, and i was not ready. but now, while it’s definitely not a perfect season, i love seeing everyone...happy? this is one of the most lighthearted seasons of the whole show, and it’s just nice to see. happy buffy warms my heart. the main arc is pretty lame, riley is uninspiring, but there are a ton of fun one offs and it’s cool to see the show trying to find it’s footing again and figure out what it’d going to be next. it’s also the ONLY college season, which is weird. usually in shows that transition, they go to high school, and then stay in college for the next couple seasons. not this show, and the novelty of this being the only college season again makes it really unique in the verse and fun.

4. season 5. season 5 is crafted nearly perfectly. the glory arc is the most well thought out in the whole show imo. it twines together dawn (and yay, they bring in dawn! i love her) and glory and buffy in such an interesting way. there’s so much foreshadowing into buffy’s realization that she has to sacrifice herself to save the world, and the writing just feels elevated this season. that being said, i think this season was a little too main arc heavy, and really could have used more fun one offs to help keep the season from blending together. basically, this season and season 4 have the opposite problems. this is also where shit starts to get depressing, and while i do find it cathartic, it also isn’t as fun to watch. but i do love seeing more of who buffy is. as much as i want her to be happy, the depth she has and the pain she feels is part of why she means so much to me, so

5. season 6. listen...this season is very polarizing, and i feel like i’m of two minds about it. on one hand it’s depressing as hell, and can be uncomfortable to watch. willow’s addiction arc was misunderstood by the writers, spuffy went way darker then i wanted it to, and everything was just :/. on the other hand, one of the biggest reasons i love this show so freaking much is because of how much it took risks, how much it was unafraid to tell the stories it wanted to tell, how much it would experiment and “go there”. i just respect it. this show feels like art to me because it’s imperfect and it’s passionate and it puts it’s ideas out there. as much as i do prefer the high school era, what would this show be without the later years? not as thought provoking or meaningful i think. this season is a lot to get through and definitely changes the tone and characters a lot, but i feel like it has a lot to say and it’s beautiful and a super emotional journey for me

6. season 1. i keep debating putting season 1 higher because i really do love it. the little baby scoobies are so cute and happy!! HAPPINESS OKAY. i love seeing them meet and become friends. their chemistry and dialogue is so good. but ultimately it’s too short and doesn’t have that much to say. a lot of the eps are cheesy. still love it though.

7. season 7 is a fever dream. what the hell’s happening half the time? the writing was all over the place. the whole thing was dragged down by spuffy, even worse than in season 6. i love the idea of the potentials but them actually being there wasn’t super interesting. the scoobies never recovered and spent time together after season 6 like they should have. the scoobie separation in season 6, and even season 4, felt purposeful but in season 7 it felt lazy. the writing was... :/. it’s like they didn’t understand their own characters. empty places happened. i don’t like robin wood. i could go on. but i do like willow’s arc this season, i like kennedy a lot, faith comes back!!, chosen was a great and meaningful ending. i love seeing buffy grow into an adult and leader. a strong, beautiful, broken one. but ultimately wtf was this season?

17. most inspired storyline?

hmm, this is hard. a lot of them are. i love willow’s struggle with power, i love buffy’s whole arc, willow turning into dark willow. i think i’ll have to go with angel turning into angelus though. it’s such a great idea and twist and metaphor. it rocks. 

19. favorite villain? 

again hard! i love so many of the big bads (angelus/spike/drusilla, the mayor, glory and dark willow mainly). idk if this is just for btvs but i also lovee lilah morgan. a smaller one but i love sunday from the freshman. i really really love vamp willow she’s uhh sexy. i might have to go with her if i can’t say faith :)

23. best performance in an episode?

these questions are killing me!! sarah is amazing always. i love comedic episodes like living conditions and intense ones like innocence and i only have eyes for you, etc. spike is great a lot of the time. trying to pick specific episodes, alyson’s performance is amazing in wrecked when she crashes the car. i love eliza’s in enemies she’s just so fwjlfjw. giles when he kills ben. they’re all always amazing i can’t pick jdwlkmmdlwmlkmds

anyway lyd thanks so much for asking and im sorry this was so long!!

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Hi, I'm also a huge fan of both BTVS and Dark Angel, as well as a hardcore shipper of both Buffy/Angel and Max/Logan (even if they both did completely rip my heart out at times). I actually agree completely that BTVS should have ended after season 5 (as I truly believe the show reached it's creative apex that year), while I'm still torned if Dark Angel would have been better off if it was canceled a year sooner or not.

Oh, hey! It’s so nice to meet you:) It’s so rare to meet people who still care about Dark Angel... let alone someone who’s a Max and Logan shipper! And how cool it is, that you also love Buffy and Bangel like I do. ^_^

And... while I do think “The Gift” was kind of perfect as the ending for Buffy, I’m okay with “Chosen” (and the seasons between “The Gift” and “Chosen”). I think “Chosen” still worked as a really good ending for the show. Probably not as good as “The Gift” was, but it was still more than enough... and this may be kind of sappy, but I’m glad Buffy got to end the series alive and smiling after everything that poor girl went through.

Dark Angel... is a tricky one for me. For so many years, I absolutely despised season two and pretended it never happened (I literally blocked a lot of it from my mind), and had only watched it once. Then probably more than a decade later, I rewatched season one for the first time in forever and was still on a Dark Angel high after it and was like, “You know what? I’m going to give season two another chance, just because I want to see more footage of my babies.” And I came away from it still not really liking it. At all. But thinking it wasn’t as bad as I’d remembered it being... I’ve watched it again a few times since then, and each time I do I like it more. So much so, that I’d say I probably like it now. At least some of it. At least ideas from it. But I don’t love it... but even then... 

IDK. I still think season one wrapped up the series well enough (even if it would have been tragic, though maybe that’s sort of fitting with a show called “Dark Angel”); and season two was so different that it almost felt like an entirely different show... I don’t know if I needed it. For me, the only things season two really had going for it were the anti-Transgenic plot and Max becoming a leader. The rest of it, at least how it was handled, was kind of silly, imo. I’m even okay with the idea of Manticore coming from selective breeding now... but the fact that they made that selective breeding group a snake cult is... weird to me? 

Like, I love some of the ideas this season had, but I don’t know if I, personally, need them. If that makes sense. So I think I’m still willing to say Dark Angel should have ended with season one, and if you feel differently that’s completely okay and I get it. 

But in some alternate universe where those ideas were written a bit better--or if the show ever gets rebooted, or a sequel where they’re handled it’d be better--I’d definitely be here for it.

Thanks for the ask:)

Edit: And, yes... Bangel and Lomax does rip one’s heart out, don’t they? Why do we have to love them so? Let’s sob about them together! :D

[terri-does-gods-work]

Somersault (a fic following the events of 3x13)

Disclaimer: I’ve tried to make this as realistic as possible but I can’t really write narrative so here goes; also this is the first fanfic I’ve written djkfhsk

Word count: 2733

Chapter One - Apologise

Seven missed calls from TJ. My notifications show two messages from him:

“Cy, please pick up.”

“It’s not what you think, I swear!”

“He’s texting me again. What do I do?” I ask Buffy and Andi as I shuffle around some baby taters.

“Don’t text him back,” replies Andi.

“Yeah, he needs to feel how you feel,” Buffy adds on.

“But he said, ‘it’s not what you think’! What does he mean?”

Sure, I am undeniably upset that TJ bailed on me for some girl he’d known for, like, two minutes, but I still want to hear his explanation. It might put some things in perspective.

“Does it matter, what happened? He bailed on you. You counted on him and he did a costume with Kira,” started Andi.

“Who he met five seconds ago,” continued Buffy.

“And with the whole gun thing…” Andi trailed off.

“We’ve moved past that,” I said, “Something’s wrong, I can tell.”

“If you’re so sure, then confront him,” Buffy paused for a brief moment, “but we don’t think you should,”

“Yeah, Cyrus, we don’t want you to get hurt again. We don’t want TJ to become a ‘Jonah: Part Two’” Andi continued.

“What? That’s not how it is at all!” I probably wasn’t being very convincing. I really like TJ, and I wish I knew what was going on inside his head when he ditched our amazing costume- which he thought of- for a less-than-minimal effort basketball costume with She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.

Buffy’s phone rang. “I have to go. My mom is calling me home for dinner,”

“I should go, too. I’m meeting Amber. Apparently, I still need some more ‘rage relief’” said Andi.

I let out a fake chuckle as they leave The Spoon and unlock my phone. My thumbs hover over the keyboard on my chat with TJ. I have no idea what to say. Realising he’s online, I say the first thing that comes to my head. “What is it, then?” I type, instantly regretting how passive-aggressive that sounds. But almost immediately he replies, “It’s hard to explain over text. Meet me by the swings in ten?”

I say “Okay” and leave some cash on the table before leaving the diner.

By the time I reach the park TJ is already sitting on the swings, not swinging. He probably heard my footsteps because he suddenly looked my way.

“I’m sorry,” he starts, before I can even open my mouth, “I wasn’t thinking, and I shouldn’t have gone with Kira. Especially without telling you first.”

“So why did you do it?” I asked, still confused, “it was your idea to do the costume together in the first place!”

TJ sighed before asking, “Do you hate me?”

His eyes were filled with worry and he looked at me, hoping for a response. I look away. I start to turn on my heel to walk away. That was some explanation, I thought.

“Before you walk away, please, just give me a chance to explain,” I turn back to face TJ.

“Isn’t that why you called me here?” I replied, curter than I wanted, but it seemed to do the trick.

TJ sighs and stands up, “Kira came by after you left and asked me to do a costume with her,”

“I already know how this goes, TJ, I don’t need to hear it from you after having lived it last week,”

“Cyrus, please. Hear me out,”

I shrug and sit down on the swing next to his.

“Kira came by after you left and asked me if I wanted to do this ‘really cool’ costume with her. I told her that I was already doing one with you, but she wouldn’t let up. Then she asked me if I would rather do a costume with her or with you and—”

“And you picked her,”

“No, that’s not it! She said, ‘have fun with that’, and started walking away. I wanted to know what she meant, so I caught up to her,” TJ paused and took a deep breath before saying, “She has something on me. Something I thought I was fine with, but apparently, I’m not. And she told me she would tell people if I didn’t do the costume with her.”

I could feel my eyes involuntarily widen, “TJ, you know you can tell me anything. I’m—”

He turns away from me and looks straight ahead, “Honestly, of all people, I’m the most scared about telling you,” he started shaking. He fiddles with his fingers for a while before sitting back down beside me. He stares at the grass below his feet.

I could hear my heart beating out of my chest. Was he? There was no way. The biggest jock in the school could never be- it just doesn’t make sense.

“TJ?”

TJ looked up from the ground and into my eyes. As if it was even possible, my heart raced even faster. Was I really about to tell him? I wonder if TJ can tell how nervous I am. Not right now, I thought.

“Why didn’t you call?”

“I swear, I was going to, but I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know how to tell you what happened,”

“Well, I have something to tell you, too,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I need to take a minute before I continue, “but you’re the one person I don’t know how to say it to, either,”

“I guess we both have stuff,” TJ shrugs, before looking back at the ground.

“I guess we do,” I reply, trying to deconstruct TJ’s countenance.

We swing in complete silence until TJ’s phone beeps.

“I have to go,” says TJ as he gets off the swing.

“Was that Kira?” I ask.

He began to say something, but I cut him off, “I get it.”

I start to walk away, but as I do so, he is all I can think of. I turn back to see TJ walking in the opposite direction, before carrying on with my journey home.

Chapter Two – Me Too

When I get home, I open the GHC group chat and begin to type:

Me: Don’t be mad, but I talked to TJ.

Andi: And?

Cyrus: He said Kira made him do the costume but idk anymore.

Buffy: He didn’t say why? I should’ve known Kira was behind this.

Cyrus: He said she has something on him, but he wouldn’t tell me what it was.

Buffy: TJ Kippen isn’t telling the truth? Shocking.

Andi: He still could have called.

Cyrus: He said he didn’t know what to say and he seemed genuine.

Buffy: Like when he used to say that I was right, just to get his way?

Andi: Have you spoken to him since then?

Cyrus: He keeps texting me saying he wants to explain but he never seems to have the words.

Cyrus: And sometimes, neither do I.

Buffy: What do you mean?

Cyrus: I almost told him. I almost said it. Luckily, I didn’t, or that would have been a big mistake.

Andi: You weren’t ready. It’s okay. He needs to sort himself out first, anyway. I don’t want you putting yourself in harm’s way.

Cyrus: I’m not, I promise.

Cyrus: I should go, it’s dinner time.

***

After dinner I check my phone. Ten messages from TJ:

TJ: are you still mad at me?

TJ: I understand if you are

TJ: I’d be mad at me too

TJ: but please talk to me

TJ: I just want to know if you’re okay

TJ: I know I haven’t been a good friend lately

TJ: I really want to tell you

TJ: I just don’t know how to say it

TJ: cyrus please say something

I hold my breath as I open the chat.

Me: I don’t know what I feel rn.

TJ: cyrus I want to talk to you

TJ: in person

Me: Idk, I’ve been kind of busy lately.

TJ: tell me when you’re free

Me: Ok.

***

The next day, Andi, Buffy and I walk side by side down the corridor of Jefferson Middle School. We part ways to get to our lockers. I see TJ standing by mine and stop in my tracks. I take a deep breath before continuing, not making any eye contact with him.

“I have something to tell you,” said TJ.

“If it’s about Kira again, I don’t want to hear it,” I open my locker and take out my books.

“It’s not. It’s about me,”

I shut my locker and stare at TJ.

“Kira found out—”

Really? I thought, “I should have known! Kira, Kira, Kira. You’ve barely known her a week and she’s all you can talk about! What does sh—”

“Cyrus, Kira found out that I like boys!” TJ shouts.

I don’t know what to say. TJ Kippen. Gay. Like me.

“You…” “Yeah,”

“You mean you’re—”

“Yes, I am.”

“TJ,” I began.

“I have to go,” TJ hurriedly walked away, panting and shaking. I watched as he did, dumbfounded.

I could barely concentrate the rest of the day. Andi and Buffy were constantly trying to bring me back down to Earth. I still don’t know how I feel about this. Happy? Relieved? For one, I was worried for TJ. God, I can’t believe Kira is that awful of a human being. At least I understand why he did what he did to me.

During lunch, I sat with Buffy and Andi, per usual.

“Did you see TJ today?” questioned Andi.

“I hope not. That boy is trouble,” I try to interrupt Buffy, but she continues, “And paired with Kira? I can’t even imagine,”

Oh, if only they knew.

I look at Andi and shake my head, “no”.

“He’ll come around. He always seems to,” Andi paused, “for you,”

I think I saw a little smirk across Andi’s face, but I’m not sure. Buffy kicks Andi under the table.

“Huh?” I say.

“Nothing, don’t worry,” replies Buffy.

And just like that, there goes the lunch bell.

As we walk out of the cafeteria, I catch a glimpse of TJ sitting alone, out of the corner of my eye. He sees me, too, and walks away as fast as he can. I hope he doesn’t think I’m homophobic, because I’m the exact opposite of that! Homo…philic? I thought to myself, making myself chuckle out loud, receiving strange looks from Andi and Buffy.

***

The day goes on. I’m still befuddled by TJ. I go home by myself (making up a half-hearted excuse for not going to The Spoon with the rest of the GHC) and collapse on my bed. I take out my phone and check my messages. Nothing from TJ. I open our chat and look through the messages before typing, “Hey, can we talk?”

TJ, as usual, responds within milliseconds, “At the park?”

“You know the place.”

This time we reach the park at the same time. We walk towards each other, hesitation in every step. I wriggle my hands in my pockets. I can feel them become sweatier by the second. When we meet, neither of us break the silence. TJ turns and we start walking in the same direction.

After a minute of silence, TJ says, monotonously, “I know what you’re going to say,”

“You do?” I ask.

“You’re going to say that I’m ‘too young’ and that I don’t know what I’m doing, or that it’s ‘just a phase’. But it’s not, Cyrus and—”

I really can’t have TJ, of all people, thinking I’m homophobic, “TJ, I was going to say that I’m proud of you. Because I am,”

“You are? Kira said—”

“What Kira said doesn’t matter,” that name leaves a bitter taste on my tongue, “You’re you. And no one else can tell you who that is,”

A faint smile appears across TJ’s face, forming wrinkles at the corners of his mouth. He is so cute, I think to myself.

“But that’s not all I wanted to say,” I guess there’s no time like the present, right?

“Oh?” I notice TJ’s smile fade.

I stop walking, TJ soon realises and stops, too.

“You know how you just said—”

“Yeah, I know” he interrupts me, afraid.

I take a deep breath before saying, “I am, too.”

“You are?” TJ’s eyebrows furrow.

Well, I don’t really hide it, but yes, I thought, “Just like you,” I half-smile and look TJ in the eyes. His beautiful, green eyes.

“Do Andi and Buffy know?”

“Yes,”

“And Jonah?”

“Him, too.”

“I see,” TJ’s expression doesn’t waiver, “when did you—”

“At my bar mitzvah… and at my grandmother’s shiva,”

“Is this what you wanted to tell me at the swings the other day?” asked TJ.

“Is this what you wanted to tell me at the swings the other day?”

We look at each other, visibly anxious but smiling, and continue our walk.

Does this mean I have a chance with TJ Kippen? There’s no way.

Chapter 3 – Confess

Over the weekend, I barely hung out with Andi and Buffy. Which I should have felt bad about, but I was too busy with TJ. We were together pretty much the whole weekend. He even slept over. But the whole time I wished we were “together” in another sense. I still walked to school with the rest of the GHC on Monday, however.

“You and TJ seem to be spending a lot more time together,” Andi states.

“Yeah, I thought you guys still hadn’t worked out the Costume Day thing,”

“You talked to him?” asks Andi.

“It’s complicated,” I reply, “I can’t tell you everything,”

“Cyrus, you can tell us anything, you know that,” says Buffy.

“I know, but it’s not my story to tell. What I can tell you is that… I told TJ,”

“You did? That’s great, Cy!” Andi practically starts jumping up and down, “What did he say?”

“Not much,”

“Oh,” says Buffy, disappointed. I could tell she kind of started to like TJ.

“No! That’s not bad! He didn’t mind. Like Jonah’s reaction, or lack thereof,”

“I guess Kira didn’t poison him after all,” says Andi.

Yeah, Kira.

The bell rang and we went to our classes. Buffy and Andi had the same class and didn’t bother to keep their conversation secret as I walked away.

“Do you think Cyrus likes TJ?” asks Buffy.

Am I that obvious? Gosh.

“Buffy! He’s still in earshot!”

I’m always in earshot- they’re so loud.

“Ok, ok!”

They wait for a few seconds before continuing, “Yes, I do. Does Cyrus know, though?”

“He has to! They’re his feelings,”

“Feelings are weird,”

“I’ll ask him after school,”

“Buffy?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t be harsh.”

They started talking about Jonah or something after this.

***

After school I checked my phone.

Buffy: So… TJ?

Cyrus: What about him?

Buffy: Do you like him?

Cyrus: Yeah. He apologized and we put all that stuff behind us.

Buffy: That’s good.

Buffy: So, do you like him?

Cyrus: I just told you.

Cyrus: What are you getting at?

Buffy: Oh, nothing. Just wondering if you like him.

Cyrus: Like him like what?

Buffy: Like… how you like Jonah?

Cyrus: I think so.

Buffy: This is great!

Cyrus: Why?

She didn’t reply.

***

I hear a knock at the door and rush to open it. It’s TJ. My heart starts beating at the speed of light. Are you allowed to call yourself whipped?

I let him in, and we go downstairs, to my game room. I get out the table tennis racquets and hand one to TJ, along with the ball. He looks… anxious.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

TJ rolls the plastic ball in his hand, “I think I like you,” his shaking hands serve me the ball, but I let it bounce off the table.

“Me?” Me?

“Is there anyone else here?” TJ asked.

“I guess not,” I respond, unable to process what was just said. I pick up the ball from the ground and serve back. As it bounces across the net, I realise that I had to say it, “I think I like you, too.”

Once again, the ball bounced off the table.

“Me?”

“Do you see anyone else in the room?”

TJ lets out a nervous laugh and I do the same.

“What does this mean?” I ask.

“I don’t know,” he sighs, “I guess we’ll have to find out.”

[you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus]

here’s a pretty open-ended prompt: trick or treating 🦇👻🎃

((I’ve had this in my inbox for forever [haha musicals] and I’m finally getting around to writing it! School’s been crazy, but here we go!))

Of all the days that Cyrus had to be sick, Halloween sure didn’t need to be one of them. Besides it being his favorite holiday, this was the first year that he was going with TJ, as well as the GHC.

But of course, Cyrus being the lucky guy that he is, turned up with a terrible cold the day before Halloween. And it only got worse from there.

“I’m sorry, Cy,” Andi frowned from the other side of the screen. He could make out a few flashes of her Mulan costume.

“I’ll bring you candy, I promise! Twix, right?” Buffy offered, adjusting her basketball jersey. Although she wasn’t really one for dressing up, who was she to pass up free candy and a long walk? It was like a mini workout with a sweet treat at the end.

“Mhm,” he croaked from his couch, blowing his nose for what felt like the millionth time that evening.

“It’s not going to be the same without you, Cy-Guy. What are we going to do without your map of which houses to hit when to get the best possible amount of candy?” Jonah complained, his plastic fangs slipping a little as he talked. ( “They look docious vampirocious!” Jonah had said earlier).

“Start with Elms Road, they usually stop giving out candy pretty early,” he croaked, breaking into a coughing fit before continuing, “Just…yeah. Is TJ with you guys?”

“Haven’t seen him. Probably bailed because you’re not coming,” Buffy joked, much to the displeasure of Cyrus.

“What did I say about making flirty jokes about us? We’re just…friends,” he sighed.  As much as it pained him to say that, it was true. They were just friends.

“I’m just saying, after we told him you were sick and couldn’t come, he-”

“What?” He cut Buffy off with a garbled squeal, “you-you told him I was sick?”

“Well…yeah. He asked why you weren’t coming so,” she shrugged, “why are so concerned?”

“Because,” he drawled, coughing through his words, “he always panics when I’m sick or I get hurt and makes a big deal out of it. Which, don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely adorable, but still,” he huffed, pushing his greasy hair up with his hands.

“That sounds like boyfriend material,” Jonah joked from off screen, “Guys it’s almost seven, should we get going?”

“Probably. I don’t want it to get too dark, or else Bex and Cece are gonna worry,” Andi agreed, picking up her bag for candy (which she had made herself, by the way).

“We’ll bring you candy tomorrow, Cyrus, promise!” Buffy told him, the screen lagging for a moment as pixels darted around.

“Have fun you guys!” he cheered as joyfully as he could. As soon as they hung up, he relaxed his face muscles and he leaned his head back on the couch.

“Mom?” he called, before groaning again. Of course his parents were out at some Halloween party tonight. Granted, it was just a bunch of therapists in costumes talking about nightmares, but still.

The doorbell rang, and Cyrus pulled the blanket over his head. “I you’re a murderer, kindly leave because I’m sick!” he croaked from underneath.

“You think a murderer wouldn’t kill you because you’re sick, Underdog?”

At that, Cyrus yanked the covers from over his head. TJ? TJ was at his door on Halloween night?

“Just a second,” he mumbled, dragging himself to the door, his head feeling like it was made of lead. He took a look at himself in the mirror by the door and sighed; he did look like a mess. A hot mess.

“Trick or treat,” TJ grinned when Cyrus opened the door. The fact that this heartthrob of a boy was standing on Cyrus’ porch on Halloween night wasn’t even the best part, no. Of course, TJ was also in costume. A knight in shining armor.

Apparently Cyrus’ poker face was a little lacking as TJ chuckled, letting himself in.

“Let me explain,” he started, “I was going to go with you guys, but I found out that you were sick, so…I figured I could just hang out here with you? We can watch movies and,” he moved his hands from behind his back to reveal a bag, “eat candy all night long?”

Cyrus was grinning from ear to ear, his red nose crinkling up from his joy. “Might I advise you to stay away from me because I’m sick?”

“I’ll take my chances,” the taller boy chuckled, taking off his helmet and shoes, “do you mind if I take off the armor? It’s heavy, and I’m wearing sweats underneath,”

“Do go ahead, o mighty knight,” Cyrus joked, tossing his blanket up like the cape of a king. As TJ changed, Cyrus grabbed some more blankets from the corner of the couch, and fixed the furniture so that both boys could extend their legs.

“Much better,” he sighed, taking a blanket and wrapping it around himself. “What should we watch?”

“I know it’s not Halloween-y, per se, but…Love Simon?” he offered sheepishly, fumbling with the remote and selecting the movie.

“What if I had said no? And what about the trick or treaters?” TJ pestered knowingly, smirking.

“Then I would have kicked you out,” he joked, “and my parents left a bowl out for the kids.”

The movie began, and although Cyrus had several coughing fits throughout, it was still lovely. As the film progressed, TJ found himself ending up closer and closer to Cyrus. Nothing jarring, just little by little every few minutes. So by the time that Simon’s coming out scene was playing, their shoulders were nearly touching.

“You get to exhale now, Simon,” Cyrus repeated weakly, a few tears slipping down his face. He looked down at his hand; it was only a few inches away from TJ’s. If only he just reached his pinky out a little, he could be touching it.

With extreme caution, Cyrus outstretched his pinky finger and swallowed thickly when he felt it touch the other boy’s. He waited for TJ to tear his hand away, but, to his surprise, TJ linked his pinky with Cyrus’. They were almost holding hands. Almost.

The movie went on, and Cyrus found himself getting a little sleepy. Maybe it was his cold medicine or maybe it was Halloween magic, but he allowed himself to rest his head on TJ’s shoulder. It felt like home; everything felt perfectly in place.

TJ prayed that Cyrus couldn’t hear his heart screaming with joy. “Hey Cyrus?”

“Mhm?” he hummed, half-awake.

“Do you ever feel weird?”

Groaning, Cyrus turned so he could see TJ’s face. Damn, with the milky glow from the screen, and lips slightly parted, he looked like an angel. “I mean, I’m a nerd so weird goes along with that,”

“No, like…not weird like ‘nerd weird’, but like…weird weird.” His words were failing him at the moment.

“Oh…yeah,” he mumbled, “I-yeah,”

“Can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me anything, Teej,”

TJ took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the blankets. They smelled like…well they smelled like Cyrus. There wasn’t a particular note of vanilla or lemon, but just…Cyrus.

“I-I’m gay,” he sputtered, holding his breath. He couldn’t even look at Cyrus when he said it, he was so worried, “and-and it makes me feel weird…different,”

“TJ,” he whispered, taking the boy’s hands in his, “you’ve always been weird. But you’re no different,” he assured him, pulling his hands back to cough into his elbow.

“I’m gay too,” he said with a shrug. TJ’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline, and Cyrus couldn’t help but giggle. “Wow, am I that good of an actor that you thought I was straight?”

The boy felt himself blush, chewing on his bottom lip. “Guess I’m just a little clueless. Since we’re on this topic, I, uh, I need to tell you something else,”

“Anything,” Cyrus smiled, turning down the volume of the movie.

“I-Underdog, I-I like you,” he stammered, “and I know that sounds really cheesy and lame but…I really like you,”

Cyrus blinked once. Twice. Was his cold medicine really making him hallucinate that badly? “You-you like me too?”

“I-too? Does that mean that-”

“I am completely, one hundred percent gay for you,” he affirmed with a smile, lacing TJ’s hands for him.

Cyrus had never seen TJ smile so genuinely. The taller boy started to lean in when Cyrus stopped him.

“I’m sick remember?” he sighed, pouting.

TJ shrugged. “Worth it,” he whispered, leaning in and connecting their lips. And in that moment, it didn’t matter that Cyrus wasn’t walking around with his friends from door to door. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t dressed as Flynn Rider. All that mattered was that he was here with TJ, safe and happy.

Cyrus was the first to pull away for a breath of air and a few sneezes. “You’re going to regret doing that,” he warned.

TJ smirked, slinking his arm around Cyrus waist and pulling him closer. “Never,”

The next Saturday, Cyrus got a FaceTime request from TJ. Putting his homework down, he picked up the request.

“Hi, Teej!”

“I’m sick,” he groaned from the other side of the phone.

Cyrus smirked knowingly. “I told you you were going to regret that kiss,”

“I don’t regret it one bit, Underdog,”

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