#idk it was a lot but i loved doing it and now that i have polls i wanna try it again
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ID: a screenshot of opâs tags, reading:
and before one of u is like " i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually #abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable #it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!! #i just ⊠started saying "yes." #i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had #i started taking community classes #if someone mentioned like "i am gonna start x group" i actually took a deep breath #and approached them to be like . okay i want in. #i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment #a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them. #i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya. #but i just⊠kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then⊠#like. âŠ. idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends #a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just. #like. gets in the way. but also⊠i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult. #i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw #i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh. #aint that something. #this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!! #i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
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Hold me, love me, touch me, honey be the first who ever did
Future spouse turn on +18
â How to chose your pile?
First clear your mind, take a deep breathe and close your eyes. Ask the question in your head "what will turn my future spouse on about me?". And shall the picture you are drawn to the most will be your pile.
â Disclaimer:
Please if you are under 18 do not interact or reblog this reading. This content is explicit and is not for you.
This is a general reading so don't put your life on hold for it. Also, this reading is written for the feminine (women, girls) if you are masculine or identify as a man this reading is NOT for you. This reading is for the feminine collective.
âȘïžThis reading was done using Raider Waite tarot deck and sexual magic tarot deck.
Lots of love đ
Arya
Pile 1 - sleeping beauty
Your current energy
I feel like this pileâs energy is quite saddening. I see that you had a project to work on and nothing went as you hoped which made you clash with your team members and caused something unpleasant to face. I see that you feel quite empty and insecure towards your own thoughts. You have many creative thoughts to offer and you are so passionate about them but I see that because your team didn't listen to you or do anything you say it left you feeling unimportant or like a "chair's leg" idk how to explain it but they made you feel like an empty vase. Also you might have been feeling quite stuck and gloomy. I see that lately your self-esteem has dropped and you feel like nothing matter or you don't matter anymore. I'm so sorry for that pile one you deserve absolutely the best. Your thoughts and ideas are valuable and if someone didn't take them seriously that doesn't mean that they don't matter. Also, I see that you might be under a psychic attack or telepathy so be careful. I see that this person who is attacking you is quite naive and they are doing it with their whole will which means they know exactly what they are doing. I see that you are trying to get over them like your mind is trying to wash them off but they are like an ink stain that doesn't really go away. But eventually it will so don't worry. For others (people who are under psychic attack or telepathy) this person is trying to communicate telepathically with you so expect them to show up in your dreams or receivesigns from them. I see that what is between you two is not finished yet. You may see that everything has finished buuuttt it is not. This person may come with a love offer and communicate with you very soon. They may be working on themselves right now. Anyways the period of stagnation is almost over or it will be over by the end of this year.
â Placements for you:
Pisces, Capricorn, Taurus, Gemini, Libra, Cancer. Or you have Neptune, Saturn, Mercury prominent in your chart. Or you have 12th, 2nd, 10th, 7th, 3rd, 4th house stallium or your sun moon is there. I see also moon in cancer and saturn in libra.
â What will turn your future spouse on?
Right off the bat I see that your future spouse will be in love with your breasts. I see everything related to them. Massaging them, sucking them, grabbing them. They also looovvvee how the bra shape them especially corsets and push up bras and also they love how they look with no bra soo ;) anyways. This person is so down bad for you like they are an animal for that part. I keep hearing the song "Addicted to you by Shakira" weird I never listened to that song before but when I described the song to my sister she gave me the name. Also, your waist and belly button. They like how your waist is shaped. I see also that you are this person's dream girl. They see you as the empress, their empress. They like how beautiful you are whether you think it is true or not. I see that they see you the empress to their empror. I also got the collar bones too. Your spouse is going to see you as something so beautiful and otherworldly. I keep emphasizing on the upper body especially the breasts and waist. I see also that they like watching you getting undressed after an event or a party. They like your whole naked form too but mostly your breasts. They also like your size too, no matter how big or small you are they think that you complete them and the chemistry is off charts. I see that you guys may have wonderful sexual chemistry like you two can't keep your hands off of each other. You see those couple who gives off the vibe that they fuck every two minutes? You are like that pile 1 they adore you. This person also gets horny by the fact that you are intimate with them and only them. They get horny or turned on by dim lights and you getting undressed in front of candle lights. Also this person might get horny when you guys hug. They just feel soo hot and bothered whenever you are around. Their love language may be physically touch. They even get horny when you set on their lap too. I see that they might get turned on when you are applying lotion, perfume or even cream on your body they get weak in their knees.
I hope you enjoyed your readingđ.
â Placements for them:
Taurus, Capricorn, Aries, Leo, Cancer, Pisces. Also they have moon, Mars, Venus, Neptune prominent in their chart. Sun or moon or stallium in the 1st, 2nd, 5th, 4th, 12th, 10th. Venus in Aries, mars- moon, Venus- ascendant aspects in synastry.
Pile 2 - Woman posing
Your current energy
I see that you might be stuck on someone with Aquarius placements. I see that you have finally made peace with them and you feel kind of imbalanced by that. I see also that this person kept you stuck and out of place. I see also that you are in a place right now where you can't see the truth and you are very conflicted. This confection is keeping you feeling restless and tired. I see that you are fighting internally your anxiety about them. I see that this person knows how to tick your boxes and keep you on edge. Pile 2, this person's intentions aren't fully good towards you. I see that they are only here for fun and good times but believe me it will only end up with disappointment so be careful. I see that this person is manipulating you into thinking that they are so tired and can't live without you but they are not. They know that you'll get back to them, I see that you need to stop giving them the validation that they seek because each time you return to them it make their ego bigger. You are worthy of more than that pile 2. Also, the energy under the bottom of the deck is quite wicked. This person is doing everything in their power to torture you and manipulate you.
â Placements for you:
Aquarius, Pisces, Taurus, Virgo, moon in sagittarius, mars in leo, Venus in scorpio, Sagittarius, Venus in Aquarius. Venus, Uranus, Neptune, Mars, moon prominent in your chart or stallium in the 11th, 12th, 2nd, 6th house in your chart.
â What will turn your future spouse on?
I got a lot of 10s in this pile so I guess your spouse really feels turned on by the fact that they are making a family that is going to leave a legacy behind with you. Also, this person really gets turned on when you surrender to them, I see a lot of submission. Doesn't mean that they are dominant but they generally love to see you under them. They might be a soft dom. They won't force you to do anything against your will. This pile is quite vanilla, I see a lot of fluids here. They might feel turned on by your sex fluids or they generally like to play with it. They also get turned on when you tease them. This person is foodie, I am picturing the image of Louis and Peter griffin when they were feeding each other fruits in this scene check it out if you want to. You might feed each other grapes and fruits in general. I'm not getting this person enjoying a specific body part at all. I feel like they enjoy your presence during the act more. Also, they get turned on when you hug them tightly. I feel like this person is quite traditional, they enjoy it when you make dinner for them. I see them getting back from work were you are dressing up nicely and making them a very delicious dinner. Also, this person is into sexting. I see them getting very horny when you are teasing them with your nudes. Idk this person respectively is very traditional and vanilla. I see also that they are very mature emotionally. This person get turned on by eye contact and deep conversations they might spend hours making love and they last very long.
Enjoy your reading pile 2đ.
â Placements for them:
Leo, Mercury in virgo and sagittarius, Pisces, Aquarius, Venus in virgo, mars in Aries. Dominant planets in Mercury, Mars, Neptune, Uranus. Stallium/ sun or moon in 1st, 6th, 11th, 12th, 9th house in their chart.
Pile 3 - Lady with flowers
Your current energy
I see that this pile is surrendering to the divine. I see that you are trying to enjoy your life as much as possible. I feel like you are living in a routine, there's nothing much honestly. I see that you are anticipating something. I feel like you want something new in your life, something to break the routine without creeping you off. I see that you always lean towards routine and structure but somehow you desire change. I see that you want change but you are very resistant to it which is creating chaos energetically. Pile 3, set with your self and decide what exactly is holding you back from the change? What is scaring you this much? Writing this down can be really helpful I order for you to acknowledge what is wrong. I see that this duality of wanting change and fearing it is keeping you stuck and confused. But at the same time you are looking forward, you are looking for a sign from the universe or God to intervene and change it. You are deeply feeling optimistic about tomorrow. I see that your energy is quite happy and warm. You might have walked away from something that kept bothering you and now you feel like that thing have no power over you right now. I see that there might be a small health issue that faced you in the previous weeks like cold or fever. But you got better thanks to God or the Universe.
Placements for you:
Sagittarius, Gemini, Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus, Aquarius, Aries. Also, I'm picking up on Mars in Aries, Venus in scorpio, Moon in scorpio. Venus, Mercury, Sun, Mars, Pluto as dominant planets in your chart. Stallium in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 8th, 11th house.
â What will turn your future spouse on?
Well first you got triple 888 which never happened in my readings. It means that you are going to experience infinite abundance with your spouse. I see that this person at first will be soft and sweet. They will make love to you softly, they will demand nude pictures of you and they will masturbate to it. They have breeding kink, they will imagine having a child with you while they are masturbating. They are going to make love like there's no tomorrow but as the relationship preced they are going to get scary honestly. I see that they are going to share their sexual fantasies with you. They will ask you to role play with them and the roles are going to be quite dark. Like, they might role play a r*pe scene or something very dark of course with your consent if you are comfortable with that type of stuff or not. With each day that pass they will show their kinkier side to you. I see them using their belt or whip on you. There will be hair pulling too, and heavy BDSM. I see that they will escape reality with you into the bedroom I see them really praising and encouraging you afterwards. They also might tie your hands. I see wax play too, this person is very naughty and kinky I can't with them. This pileâs future spouse might get turned on by pain. I'm picturing Angelina Jolie when she stabed her boyfriend to feel pleasure while they are doing it. This person might get horny when you are in pain. They might cause you pain too. This person is giving Christian Grey, I see that they like being in control and doing heavy stuff to their partner. Idk pile 3, if you might get uncomfortable with that try to communicate with them. You don't have to face all of this. Also, I see that this person will see you as their lover, I got the lover card and Judgement twice which is quite unusual. I see that it might mean that this relationship is meant to awaken something in you, something you are ignoring.
Enjoy your reading pile 3đ.
â Placements for them:
Air placements (Libra, Aquarius, Gemini). Mercury in sagittarius, and water placements (Cancer, Pisces and scorpio). Mercury, Pluto, Venus. Stallium in Air placements or houses and Stallium in water placements.
Pile 4 - Woman looking at the stars
Your current energy
I see that there's someone in your life that is spreading rumors about you. It might be a woman with leo placements or a man with Aquarius placements I'm not sure. I see that they feel very jealous of your achievements and how graceful you are. I see that you are the type of person who is very beautiful. You might be beauty with brains, someone who is very intelligent and smart. This person is spreading rumors about you and the cards are telling me that they will get their Karma so don't worry you don't have to do anything about it. The cards are advising you to have inner strength and calm down before engaging in any behavior that doesn't suit your public image. I see that you might be someone who is quite popular and known but very envied by others. Your skills and dedication are drawing the right people into your life and the right opportunities too. I see that if you are planning on traveling somewhere it will happen but also for that to happen you need to find closure and end a cycle in your life.
â Placements for you:
Leo, Virgo, Sagittarius, Aries, Pisces, Aquarius, Libra, Leo. Sun, Mars, Saturn, Venus prominent in your chart. Stallium in the 1st, 6th, 5th, 9th, 12th, 7th, 11th house in your chart.
â What will turn your future spouse on?
Okay, first thing is this person is very idealistic, very emotional and devoted. I see that they get horny when you tease them with your breasts like pressing them against him or showing them to him randomly make him sexually frustrated. I see that he gets really horny when they see you dressing up for them. A lot of emphasis on glam, they enjoy watching you dressing up, putting on perfume and makeup. You might be their type honestly. Like they were searching for someone like you and they found you soo it is a win win. This person is like pile 2, they are quite traditional. They don't have any weird kink at all. I see that they lean more to making love unlike pile 3 it was insane but anyways no judgment on my blog. I see that your ass is something that they like, they enjoy the size, shape and how soft and squishy it is. This person gets so horny when you are showering or under water. They see you as someone who is so ethereal like a mermaid. They like your body naked and wit under the shower. They might join you there too. I see that they really get turned on when you whisper in their ear and tease their neck. This person is in their head a lot when it comes to you. They might go to work and sit there imagining you two doing it nonstop and when they return home they'll be like a wild animal. He is so soft, like a soft dom again. I can't with him I try to provoke many cards but all I am getting is the cups suit which is linked to love and emotions. I see that this person is very emotional when it comes to you what matter for them is intimacy and how comfortable you are with them. Also, it keeps them going when you are in pleasure. They feel prideful when you reach your orgasm and moaning their name. Also, I'm getting Nikki Minaj here. He'll totally take it off of you after the party. Also I'm getting the song "something about you by eyedress, dent may" this person sees you like something so beautiful and ethereal. They have a lot of respect for you, they won't curse or cuss at you at all during sex. They see sex as something very sacred and romantic only shared between two people. They don't dare to call sex (sex) they'll say (love making) instead. This person is very poetic, they can and will write poems about you and set the right romantic mood for you two to enjoy.
Take care pile 4 đ.
â Placements for them:
Water signs (Scorpio, Pisces and cancer). Air signs (Aquarius, Gemini and Libra). Mercury, moon, Venus as prominent plants in their chart. Stallium in the 4th, 8th, 12th, 11th, 3rd, 7th house for them.
Post date: 24th of Nov -2024 Sun
* Feedback is appreciated
#free divination#free tarot#pick a card#pick a pile#divination#divination readings#metaphysical#tarot community#tarot pac#tarot reading#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick an image#tarotblr#pac future spouse#future spouse#future spouse tarot
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cherry kiss
sevika x f!stripper!reader
warnings! pole dancing (if that can be taken as a warning), public sex(??), fingering, orgasm denial, pussy slapping, slight choking, cunnilingus, masturbating, hair pulling, dom!sevika, sub!reader, sevika is a bit mean but we love it, she gets called maâam once
no mentions of y/n, but reader is called by her stage name cherry
word count: 3.4k words (i got a little too passionateâŠ)
à§à summary: sevika found herself in a strip club, only to end up getting a lot more than a simple lap dance.
note: wrote smut for the first time in years, and idk how to feel. excuse me if this is absolutely shit, i was sleep deprived every time i was writing this. sorry for any errors, english isnât my first language. not proofread!!
it isnât exactly the place sevika usually finds herself in. strip clubs are not her thing. she prefers action over mere watching, but today just wasnât it. not even a good lay in babetteâs brothel can save her sour mood, which is more than surprising even for her. she doesnât even know why sheâs here. she just needs a distraction, and she knows the quietness of her place would only deepen her stress, which is something she really does not want right now, no matter how well she can handle it.
so here she is, in a strip club, surrounded by cheap smelling perfume, neon signs casting some light around the dimly lit place. boasting laughter, cheers and all sorts of other noises sheâd rather block out from men around her fill her ears as they watch women dancing on the stage and sway around the pole. sevika, however, is completely silent. almost eerily so.
she just watches. glares, more like as she sits in the booth, awaiting another stripper nicknamed cherry, as the announcer says. âsilly choice of a name,â she thinks. her leg bounces under the table, swirling the whisky she just took a sip of on her tongue as the curtain spreads open, revealing you, and her body goes still. itâs like a spell, and sevika isnât quite sure what has her so mesmerized the second you appear on that long, runway-like stage, neon lights shining on your almost naked body, the way they enhance the confident aura you give out. her grey eyes are focused solely on you, almost as if sheâs judging your every movement. from the sway of your hips, to the subtle bounce of your breasts in that skimpy red bra as you stride toward the pole and your fingers wrap around the metal one by one.
a low hum rumbles in the back of her throat, a mixture of curiosity and appreciation while watching you perform. you clearly know what youâre doing, that sevika can see, and it works. even on her. sheâd rather die than admit it out loud to anyone, but you have your charm to you and she likes it.
itâs like sheâs not even blinking, at least thatâs how it feels to you. you notice the womanâs gaze the second you approach the pole, and how it never moves away, not even when she takes a sip of her whisky. your coworkers shared their experience whenever they left the stage, saying how sevikaâs glare caused them to nearly mess up their performance. in all honesty, it had made you nervous yourself while you waited for your own turn. dancing before a woman of such power, itâs nothing like dancing for all those nobodies who salivate over a sliver of skin shown. but as you had taken a first step on that stage, with your gaze immediately falling on her, all of that vanishes into something else, something you just canât explain with words.
you give it your all, making sure to give her the show she never forgets and possibly needs, based on the worn out look she wears on her face. your body moves to the rhythm of the same song you always have to dance to. the song youâre normally so sick of, now gives you a rush. you dance with newfound passion, happy to show off your skills and body to silcoâs number two. you play with her, yet you give her the most of you. fingertips lingering on your skin a second longer as you caress your body, from your hips to your breasts. looking over your shoulder when youâre turned towards the pole, the corners of your lips twitching up when you bend forward, showing off your thong-clad rear. itâs all for her, and you are absolutely enjoying the attention.
the endless cheering and lewd comments from men are fully blocked in your mind, your goal as clear as piltoverâs sky. you want to make this woman watch you until the very end, to have her gaze on you and you only.
and oh, does it work. sevikaâs gaze does not move away from you even when your performance ends and you go back backstage, and youâre certain her eyes are focused on your thighs as you walk. the euphoria you feel after this dance was nothing youâve ever experienced. for the first time since working here, youâre almost disappointed that you had to leave the stage. your theme song that usually drags on suddenly felt short. you want to give her more of you, all of you.
you sulk in your seat, fixing up your neatly done makeup. there isnât any need to fix it, you just want to get your mind off of the woman, but itâs completely useless. her grey eyes pollute your brain, and you can still see them when you close your eyes. never in your life were you this desperate for someone, itâs almost embarrassing. you sigh and put the makeup brush done, pursing your lips together. you wonder if youâll see her again, if youâll get to dance for her just like you had just a moment ago. you would give her more than just a plain dance show, so much more.
your thoughts get abruptly interrupted by your boss, her voice loud and demanding as she calls out to you. all you can do is hold back an eye roll and get up from the chair, making her way over to her with a look that can only be described as âi donât get paid enough for this.â
âyouâre expected in the vip salon,â she bites, her wrinkles crinkling under that heavy layer of makeup. âitâs a very important guest. donât fuck it up.â
she taps your chest with her point finger, long nail stabbing your skin, and leaves the backstage. you watch her arrogant stomp, scoffing under your breath as soon as sheâs far enough from you to not hear it. she calls every guest important, even the scummiest man in zaun is a âspecial guest.â you know why she says it, she wants you to do your best, to not embarrass her brand, but it quickly gets annoying than encouraging.
your heels thump against the floor as you walk slowly to the salon, your mind running at full speed. you can only hope itâs sevika, but a part of you doubts it. there is no way she liked your performance so much sheâd pay for private dance, right?
oh, how wrong you were.
the second you open the fluffy curtain, youâre met with those same steel eyes, belonging to none other than sevika. you eye her up and down, taking in the way she sits on the couch, her muscular thighs spread open and her exposed arm thrown over the backrest. you linger on the bare part of her lower stomach, abs peeking out of the crop top and v-line disappearing under the waistband of her pants. itâs a downright sinful sight, almost picture worthy.
âi didnât pay for you to just stand there, did i?â her deep voice catches you off guard, and your eyes travel back up to her face. sheâs smirking at you, fully aware of your gawking.
you can only pray to janna to survive this dance, secluded in a small room with this dangerously sexy woman.
âright. sorry,â you give her a small apologetic grin while walking to the small music box in the corner to tune in a song.
your hands are shaking a little, but itâs hardly nervousness. itâs excitement, anticipation, maybe even a hint of arousal. your blood is running hot, and you can feel a kick of energy, as if dosed on shimmer. none of your customers made you feel this way, but her.
your hands are already wrapped around the silver pole with your back facing her, ready to move to the music until her voice echoed in your ears.
âcome here.â
your whole body stiffens, the music blocked out in your mind. being a stripper for years, never had you actually danced in front of a client. itâs sort of a rule for you; just watch but no touch, but when it comes to sevika, you are more than ready to forget it all just to please her. you pull yourself away from the pole and walk up to her, hands running over your sides. her eyes never leave your face and, by the gods, shivers run down your spine in waves, running all the way between your legs.
three more steps, and you finally stand between her spread thighs, and only now that you stand so close you notice just how damn thick they are. she looked better up close, no art or photo of her could do her justice, that you are sure of. a smirk makes its way on sevikaâs lips as she watches your hips sway, your fingertips tap and stroke your skin. she is so into it, her hand is practically itching to just grab you by the waist and drag you down on her thigh.
itâs as if your minds link for a moment, because your smaller hand finds hers, guiding it to your stomach. sevika doesnât react, at least not visibly, though you canât say that about yourself. the second her rough, calloused palm runs over your abdomen to your hip, your body reacts on its own, almost like it isnât even connected to your brain. she pulls you down on her leg, chuckling under her breath as your breath hitches. she has you where she wants you, and you can only comply to her every wish.
âbabetteâs is a few blocks away, yâknow?â you mutter breathlessly, and you can only curse yourself out for how affected you are by her mere presence. itâs embarrassing, humiliating even, but you are oh so close to not give a single fuck. âsomeone can catch us here.â
sevika chuckles once more, liking your slightly mouthy attitude. it makes her want to put you in your place, take out her bad mood on you in all the ways she can. âby the way youâre reacting, i doubt you even give a damn,â her voice fills your ears, laced with a playful biting tone. âcherry.â
you suddenly feel coldness of a metal on your arm, pointy ridges of metal fingers digging into the flesh. she moves you around like a rag doll, like you weight nothing to her, until you straddle both of her legs and your thighs are spread apart. âtell me, what kind of services can you offer for extra coin?â she teases you, her thick fingers toying and pulling on the string of your thongs, making it snap back to your skin. âbesides a little lap dance.â
the air is thick with tension, pushing down on your shoulders. itâs an intense, sexual sensation, one you can barely get enough of. you feel as if you are getting dragged by the ankle into the deep pit of unbridled lust, and it bubbles deep in your belly. you crave her.
you yearn for her.
âfor you? anything,â you muster up the last bits of your attitude and smirk at her, your hand coming up to her right shoulder to steady yourself. âfree of charge.â
itâs all sevika needs, and in a matter of seconds, she pounces on you, her lips running along your pulse. she doesnât kiss, not yet. she merely toys with you, shapes you to her liking until you are but a mess. every touch of hers has a purpose, and unlike in a brothel, she is taking her sweet damn time. sheâs frustrating herself by this point, all of the shit she had to deal with were simmering under the lid and ready to leak out, but something in her told her to utterly wreck you.
the music continues to play, silencing every small noise that escapes from your mouth. her fingers start to travel lower, following the fabric of the lace until the fingertips hover just above your clothed clit. she doesnât even brush over it, yet you can feel your cunt clench around nothing. you bit on your bottom lip as sevikaâs fingers linger on your thong, cheap cherry taste of your lipstick hitting your tongue.
âmeans that i can do this, right?â she asks into your skin, finally putting pressure on your clit. you jump in her lap, the sudden touch making you flinch away.
sevika doesnât let you move away. she only chuckles when her mechanical arm goes down to your hip, pinning you to her lap like you are her trophy. there is no way sheâs letting you go now, she wants to see you tremble.
your mind is hazy, and so foggy you can barely think of anything other than her, and the feeling of her fingers circling over your sensitive clit.
âdo anything you want. iâm here to give you a show, arenât i?â you try to keep your bravado, but it collapses like a house of cards the second her hand slips under the fabric, touching your cunt.
âfuck, youâre wet,â she laughs at you, pulling away from the crook of your neck to look into your eyes. âare you that desperate, or what?â
you cry out in pleasure as an answer, which is all she needs. her fingers tease your clit, circling it, pinching it between her thumb and point finger, which only makes you wetter for her. itâs as if youâve never had a good fuck in your life, and she is there to fix that.
sevika continues to tease you for a few lingering seconds, simply enjoying the sight of you crumbling beneath her touch, until she moves lower and leaves your swollen bundle of nerves twitching, yearning for contact. she doesnât waste time to slip not one, but two of her fingers into your drenched hole, stretching it out.
âoh fuck,â you groan out once you feel her fingers move, pumping into you in a rough, but slow pace.
she keeps them curled just right, brushing over that sweet spot that makes your back arch and your eyes roll back. itâs clear that she is experienced, because she knows just how to touch you to keep you shivering in her lap. you drop your head to look at her hand moving between your legs, but sevika doesnât allow you that for long.
her prosthetic hand shoots up to your neck, cocking your head upwards to keep you from looking away. she only applies little pressure to your throat, not hard enough to choke you out, but rather a little warning.
âeyes on me, cherry,â she rasps out, her eyes so intense it sends shivers down your spine. âbe a good girl.â
her voice has you clenching around her fingers, pathetic mewls of pleasure rolling out of your mouth. you have no choice but to keep your gaze on her, your sight blurry and slightly unfocused as sevikaâs fingers continue to fuck your cunt. as much as she enjoys the sounds youâre making, your voice is slowly starting to get louder than the music that still plays in the background.
with the metal hand on your throat, she tugs you forward, crashing her lips on your in a bruising kiss to swallow the moans youâre letting out. she doesnât give you a chance to let you dominate the kiss as her tongue slides into your mouth. she is in charge, and sheâs letting you know it.
the taste of hard liquor and smoke hits your tongue, but youâre too deep in pleasure to cringe at the taste. in all honesty it turns you on even more. the sensation of her thick fingers, pumping in and out of your drenched pussy combined with her mouth on yours make you go crazy. you are so close, your orgasm just a few thrusts away.
the way your walls clench and unclench tells sevika that youâre about to cum, but where is the fun in giving you what you want so early. she pulls her fingers out, and when you try to whine in protest, she lands a few hard smacks on your cunt. you can feel the slaps even through the fabric of your lingerie, thatâs how rough she is.
ânot yet, cherry. iâm far from done with you,â she mumbles when she pulls away from the kiss, her lips glistening with the mixture of your and her saliva. she grins, reaching for one of many fluffy cushions and throwing it on the floor underneath you. âon your knees.â
she lets go of your throat, letting you sink down on the floor. your knees nuzzle into the softness of the pillow, hands falling on the buckle of her belt to undo it. sevika lifts her hips when you unbutton her pants, letting you pull them down along with her underwear. she pulls one leg out to spread her legs more, giving you space to get closer.
you donât dive in right away. instead, you run your tongue over her thighs, all while looking up at her. itâs like your little revenge on her for teasing you before, and for not letting you cum. sevika grits her teeth, her nostrils flaring a little. a woman normally with patience of steel is suddenly a ticking bomb, ready to explode.
her real hand moves to your hair, grabbing a fistful of the strands. she doesnât pull at it, but her grip is tight. âdonât test my patience. not today.â
the tone of her voice, authoritative and commanding gives you chills, your cunt once again clenching around nothing. your eyes wander over her body until it stops on the wet mess between her muscular legs, and thatâs all it takes to convince you to give her what she wants.
âyes, maâam,â you whisper, and sevikaâs grip on your hair loosens just enough for you to move.
with one final glance at her face, you delve your tongue into her cunt, moaning at the taste of her. your nose nudges against her swollen clit, which makes her let out a deep moan. her whole expression falters as you eat her out, curses and noises escaping her mouth like a mantra, a sinful prayer.
âyouâre good, cherry,â she praises you breathlessly, fingers combing through your hair. âyou sure you â oh, fuck â didnât choose a wrong profession?â
you donât give her an answer, your mouth being too busy with her pussy to talk. you eat her like a woman starved, like she is your last meal. you can feel her slick staining your chin, but you can hardly care. you only have one goal in mind, and thatâs to take her over the edge.
your own cunt throbs whenever she moans, or accidentally tugs at your hair when your tongue laps at her clit. youâre desperate for release, just as you are desperate for her. your hand slowly slides into your panties, chasing your orgasm as your fingers rub your clit.
sevika can see what youâre doing, but all she can think about is how well your mouth pleases her. she tries to compose herself, to last longer, but the burning sensation in the pit of her stomach is getting unbearable, the coil ready to snap at any moment. all she needs is one final push.
and you give it to her. your lips wrap around her clit, sucking on it, which is what sends sevika over the edge. she throws her head back and moans out loud, not even caring who might hear outside of the salon. she cums into your mouth, her thighs squeezing your head. your own orgasm follows right after, and you whimper into her cunt. your back arches, you canât pull away nor can you catch a breath, not when her muscular thighs keep you in a lock. your whole lower face is buried in her cunt for a few seconds, and you have to tap on her thigh to let you go, your lungs begging for air.
she looks down at you and realization hits her, her legs spreading apart again to let you move. you both gasp for air when you pull away, pants filling the room. the music stopped playing a while ago, and it dawns on you that your time with her shouldâve ended minutes ago. yet you find yourself unable to actually leave the salon, not when you have just silcoâs second-in-command cum like that.
sevika, who is not in a better state than you, feels the same. she grins down at you, her hand caressing your hair with gentleness thatâs almost uncharacteristic to her.
âyou may be a stripper, cherry, but i think you just found yourself a regular.â
#lesbian#wlw#arcane#sevika#sevika smut#sevika x reader#i love women#arcane league of legends#lets go lesbians#i need her#sevika x you#arcane season 2
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The crew & using toys on their S/O in bed please with a cherry on top??
First time writing the whole crew kinda nervous đ€đ€ I'm not writing Swansea tho I will NOT be writing nsfw of a married man
Tw/cw; Afab!reader, winners love winning in Anyas hcs (use of the term pillow princess), jorkinit jumpscare
Not proofread
Curly
I'm actually not sure if he'd be into toys
I've literally only written for Curly so I'd say I'm a Curly expert, and I just don't think he'd be into toys
He'd use a vibrator on you every now and then, but he'd just use it to tease you and make you beg for him.
He'd probably use cock rings. I am a firm believer Curly would use cock rings. Not all the time, but if he's had a really stressful day at work, he's wanting an extra hard hitting orgasm.
Omg not a toy but APHRODISIACS!!! This man would go crazy for some aphrodisiacs, whether he's taking it or you are.
Now I wanna write a wedding night one shot with Curly and aphrodisiacs thanks a lot anon đđđ I've got enough shit to write already
Anya
I don't care what any of you say this woman is a pillow princess
YOU'D be using toys on HER
She'd also be a cryer but that's not the point
She'd have a drawer dedicated to sex toys. She's trying to get into med school, she's CONSTANTLY stressed, how else is she supposed to release some of that stress? Don't judge her.
She wouldn't be into straps or dildos, she'd be into shit that vibrates. Vibrators obviously, rose toys, anything that stimulates the clit honestly
I lied she is into dildos this woman is a sucker for a RABBIT!!! Like I said, if it vibrates, she wants it.
Her favorite combo is the rose toy/vibrator + pussy licking. She cums so fast, then gets embarrassed, then begs for more. Praise her a bunch and she'll be able to go a few more rounds
BONUS CONTENT!!; she has a Christina and Princess Albertina, no further comments
Daisuke
Oh yeah, he's using toys.
He has a tongue piercing and sometimes he'll swap it out for a bar that vibrates but y'all aren't ready for that convo
He's gonna use the basic toys, nothing we haven't gone over yet. Vibrators, rose toys, cock rings, ect. He's just trying to figure out what he likes for right now, and he likes all of them
In missionary, he'd hold either a vibrator or rose up to your clit while he fucks you. Kind of uncomfortable as a position, but if it gets you off, it's worth it to him.
Not sure if this is considered a toy but he'd be interested in sounding. He's definitely had you try it on him once or twice, and he never lasts for more than a minute đ poor boy
He's just trying new things out. He's new to having a committed relationship, so anything you'd be into, he'd be willing to try. He'd let you peg him if you wanted, but don't ask me to write that.
My pegging days are over
Jonathan
The kinkiest cunt that ever cursed this god forsaken ship
Toys are a must have for him. On you, not him. He only likes using them on you, because it gives him a sense of power over you.
He'd be one of those assholes that would put a bluetooth vibrator in your panties and wait till you're in public to turn it on the highest setting. Like an asshole
Jizzdaddy would have a lot of toys. He'd have one of those robotic dildo setups that like.. idk does the thrusting how the fuck do I explain this????
You guys get what I mean if you've ever been on a porn site you've seen one
Anyway, he'd have one of those setups and watch it fuck you. Ass up, head down, grasping at whatever you could since HIS sadistic ass turned it up to the highest speed.
Eventually hed get pissed off and fuck you himself, claiming that you love the toy more than you love him đ the allegations are true but he doesn't have to know that
He'd also use plugs on you. In public, too. He doesn't care. If you humiliate yourself, that's your fault, not his.
vibrators are used during sex, nothing new. But it's the same situation as before. Claiming you love the toy more than him, so he stops using it.
Sometimes he'll just give in though and decide he doesn't care, and wants to tease you more than anything. Highest speed it can go, or the slowest. No in-between. He'll have you begging one way or another.
Chat I hate writing rough characters someone request ooc soft Joshua hcs so I can write him like I do Curly đđđ
A/N; Anya makes me wanna kiss girls
#mouthwashing smut#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing x reader#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy x reader#daisuke mouthwashing#daisuke x reader#anya mouthwashing#anya x reader#why are there so many ship tags this is genuinely disturbing#curly x reader#captain curly x reader
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Idk if this is a huge request or not, but could you explain more about Bell? (The shitten in your au)
I would be thankful, take care.
Yeah, ive done like... 3 pieces of her max but she gets SO many asks lol. the story isn't really ready for her yet, and i'd like to finish what im working on before i do more with her, but i'll give the basic rundown.
she LITTERALY started as a joke baby post but she got so much interaction i said i'd expand on her design and now she seems to just have a following of simps (oops, like lamb like daughter)
most of the old ideas for ewen and nari with her are out of date now on the art, but heres a bunch of plot and some unposted sketches under cut
Nari and Ewen are married and leading the cult still. all the siblings have kids, grandkids and even great grandkids (excluding shamura). Its only after they decide having a child is someone for them to love and raise, not someone who they're forcing the cycle of trauma on that they have Bell. And they adore her. While growing up, one by one, the former bishops, all her aunts, uncles, and shamura decided it was time to peacefully end their long lives. So she sees death as a good thing, the satisfying end to a long life story. So when Ewen and Narinder are ready to die together, even though they say she doesn't have to, she takes on the crown and ends if for them with a last "i love you" between them. She runs the cult now which is more themed around their shared neck wound "rings" and their relationship than just the lamb. She's called "the black sheep" by her followers (or queen if they're kinky, princess when shes younger). she wields the crown as a pair of horns and a sythe, sine the cult of the black rings also referenced Ewen's large black horns and she keeps up the theme.
Baal and Aym are her "brothers" (more of her body guards and technically her cousins but she refuses to call them anything else) and her body guards, staying after their master's death. They've known her since she was a baby and still treat her as one sometimes. She's VERY protective over them, but also will bully them sometimes, like kicking their asses when training and saying they're just going easy on her like when she was a kid, knowing full well she's overpowered by the crown.
Because shes such an oddity, the mystic seller assigned one of their followers to keep an eye on her and, much like her "ba ba" she found the overpowered demigod shes now obsessed with. With some help from Ewen before they passed, they were able to translate their glyphs. Now that helper follows her around disguised as a poor imitation of a regular mortal to better understand her and the mortal realm. Or at least thats what she convinced them to do since she wants them around <3 probably not to their masters liking lol. I haven't decided on a name yet. Bell eventually give them the purple crown (they/it)
Before they left, Narinder was trying to reawaken the crowns, whether for the memory of his siblings, or that the cult was growing too large to be centered on the red crown. They're not very powerful right now and Bell is the leader of the others, more like a babysitter.
The blue crown is with Kalliope (kalli for short) (she/her), a distant relative of Kallamar's who had to fight, both physically and socially, with all her other of age relatives to get the chance, since Kallamar's polycule made a LOT of kids and grand kids. She's kind of bitchy about it and whines about everyone not respecting her or how hard she worked. shes a flamboyant cuttlefish and trans femme. also the crown is worn like an earring. Bell has little tolerance for her and they have a lot of bitchy girl fights.
The green crown is with isop (a kinda combo of isopod and aesop) (he/him) who is a rubber ducky isopod. he's Leshy's great great grandkid, and really only god the crown because no one else on the peaceful forest farm leshy put together in his later years really wanted it and figured it meant free babysitting. he's pretty young and small with a fascination for chaos and violence that only little kids without developed social perception can have, though he more watches at this point. The others tend to carry him or he rolls around in a little ball. The crown is worn like glasses.
The orange crown is with Mycelia (lia for short) (they/them plural) who is a homunculus mushroomo made through experimentation by Heket and Sozo before they died. they're the only one who is actually older than Bell. They're undying because they're a hive mind of all the mushroomo, who have been progressively growing. They can see everything the others see, can spout new bodies when needed and even feed on their own dead bodies. Bell sometimes just kills them when they're frustrated with them or other things. They'd be a threat but they're very monotone and emotionless about pretty much everything and don't care. They've worked with the red crown just because death is a natural boon to fungus and keeps them alive. The orange crown is worn as a necklace.
Heres some sketches since I haven't been able to get the designs to my liking but people keep asking so :T
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SIMPLE !
pairings: jude bellingham x lewis hamiltonâs assistant!reader
summary: after your first few dates with jude, everything seems to be going smoothly. however, thereâs just one problem: your boss seems to hate your new boyfriend.
warnings: judeyn being dumbasses.
authorâs note: part of my dream girl universe. for best enjoyment, read after the first instalment. assistant2 also makes her first official appearance!!
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đ berlin, germany.
tagged: judebellingham
liked by ham1ltonshaderoom, jobebellingham and 2,837,918 others.
yourinstagram: the photos he takes of me vs the one i take of him. i think you all can see the better photographer.
view all 1,108,928 comments
user1: LOVE seeing hot people date each other.
-> user11: i love seeing two hot people be BESTIES.
user2: JUDE IS TAKEN ???!!!! NOOOOOOO
-> user3: babe⊠you didnât have a chance at all. like please be serious.
-> user13: thank god they arenât actually dating tho.
user4: my gf <3
-> judebellingham: who even are you.
-> user4: we can share <3 i can keep her satisfied thru the weekend u have the weekdays king.
jobebellingham: love this yn. he looks so depressed and ugly.
-> judebellingham: U JEALOUS ASF đč
-> jobebellingham: yn iâll paypal you ÂŁ50 rn if you post more ugly pictures. which is all his pictures really.
-> yourinstagram: challenge accepted đ«Ą
lewishamilton: you look good yn!
-> user5: and what about jude??
-> lewishamilton: what about him?
-> user6: NOT YNâS HUSBAND HAVIN BEEF W/ HER BFF đ
user7: lip combo?!!??
-> yourinstagram: iâm not a gatekeeper. itâs on my tiktok!! my most recent one <3
user8: you did my king so dirty with that one picâŠ. LMFAO DO IT AGAIN
-> yourinstagram: đ«Ąđ«Ą
user10: their friendship is so cute!!
user12: yn is moving up in the world!!! from bts delulu to besties with JUDE BELLINGHAM
-> yourinstagram: blocking you! đ
-> user12: you can block me but you canât erase âhobisbabymamaâ
-> yourinstagram: HELLO?2&/9ÂŁ/
user9: WHERE IS LANDO?!
-> user10: she blocked his main and his ten other side accounts because sheâs secretly in love with him and wants to leave loser jude for him.
-> user9: hi lando đ
user10: no roscoe pic?
-> yourinstagram: sorry babe :(( heâs at home with his dad and iâm on holiday. assistant2 has some highlights of him on her page!! <3
judebellingham: why do i look so depressed
-> yourinstagram: idk <3 want to get ice cream?
-> judebellingham: .. yeah
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title: my girlfriendâs boss (l,39) hates me and itâs ruining my relationship. help?
hi all, i donât really post on here, but iâm at my witâs end and need advice. i (j, m21) have been dating my girlfriend (y, f24) for a couple of months now, and itâs been brilliant. sheâs smart, funny, beautiful, and honestly the kindest person iâve ever met. hereâs the catch: her boss (l, m39), who also happens to be an insanely famous athlete and very wealthy, clearly hates me.
y works as his personal assistant, and from what sheâs told me, l has always been good to her. sheâs known him for years, and heâs helped her out a lot in her career. she always says heâs like family, but ever since she introduced me to him, heâs been awful.
it started small, like him calling me âmateâ in that condescending way that makes you feel about two feet tall. but last week, i went to pick y up from work, and he gave me this lookâyou know the type, the kind that says, âyouâre not good enough to breathe the same air as her.â i tried to play it off, but itâs eating at me.
another time, we ran into him at a cafĂ©, and he made this offhand comment about how âfootballers arenât known for their brains.â y tried to laugh it off, but i felt like an absolute idiot.
then there was the incident with the tickets. y mentioned sheâd been offered two box seats for a big match, courtesy of l, and we were both so excited to go. but when she told him i was going with her, he suddenly ârememberedâ heâd promised them to someone else. i know it sounds paranoid, but it feels deliberate.
to make matters worse, y thinks iâm overreacting. she says l is just protective of her because they work closely together, but i canât help but feel like thereâs more to it. she brushes off his weird behaviour, but come onâthis is the same man who asked her to taste-test a box of chocolate truffles because he couldnât decide which to order for himself. (weird, right?)
itâs not just the comments, though. y told me l doesnât usually care who his staff date, but she mentioned heâs suddenly started asking loads of questions about me, like whether iâve been in trouble before or if iâm serious about her. itâs like heâs looking for a reason to disapprove. y thinks heâs being protective, but i swear he just doesnât like me. hereâs the problem: iâm pretty sure he hates me. actually, scratch thatâi know he hates me.
iâm spiralling here. what if l starts sabotaging our relationship? y says sheâs not going anywhere, but i canât shake the feeling heâs got some weird power over her. am i just being insecure, or is there something seriously wrong here? what do i do?
top comments:
soggy_pigeon: nah, this is classic alpha behaviour. heâs marking his territory. he probably sees her as more than just an assistant, if you know what i mean. tread carefully.
fluffybananas: footballers arenât known for their brains. maybe he has a point.
spicy_gravy: dude, heâs probably jealous youâve got abs and a girl who loves you. chill.
randomuser_123: sounds like youâre dating your bossâs work spouse.
tofu_throwaway: i think lâs just jealous because y spends more time with you now. heâs like a toddler upset that someoneâs playing with his favourite toy.
ladybantheboys: ok but what if itâs the opposite? like, what if l approves of you but is being mean on purpose to test if youâre good enough for her?
football4ever: j, mate, youâre overthinking. lâs just a famous bloke who doesnât want to lose his assistant to some random guy. show him youâre not random. take him out for a pint or something.
memequeen420: this reminds me of when i had a cat and got a new dog. the cat hated the dog at first but now theyâre best friends. just give it time.
plshelpme1998: have you tried googling âhow to win over your girlfriendâs bossâ? thereâs bound to be a wikiHow.
bananabreadbae: mate, if he wanted her, heâd have made a move by now. maybe he just doesnât like footballers. not everyone does, you know.
user2847: honestly, the truffle thing makes me think heâs the weird one. does he do this with everyone or just y? if itâs just her, heâs probably got some weird older-brother complex going on.
ultimategoblin69: maybe he wants to adopt you. famous people do weird shit like that.
yogurtbutter: ok but what if youâre the problem? maybe youâre just a bit annoying and he senses it. famous people have great instincts.
iamnotanon: have you considered sabotaging him back? like, nothing serious, but maybe show up in a better suit than him one day. alpha vibes only.
opinionatedowl: this is a power thing. lâs rich and famous, and heâs used to being in charge. stand your ground, but donât disrespect him. heâs probably testing you.
thecheeseman: it sounds like a bad rom-com where l secretly approves of you but canât admit it because heâs emotionally constipated. if i were you, iâd play the long game.
spicywaterlover: wait⊠what if l is secretly in love with y and youâre the obstacle? plot twist.
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edit: wow, ok. this has been a ride. thanks for all the comments, even the wild ones. i think iâll try the âpintâ suggestion, but i draw the line at sabotage. will update if anything changes (or if i get adopted).
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liked by messyassuser, lando11priv and 1,938,882 others.
ham1ltonshaderoom: football star jude bellingham seen cuddling and being affectionate with his new girl! she has been identified as yn yln, she is the personal assistant of f1 icon lewis hamilton. they were spotted outside a restaurant in las vegas after the grand prix all booâd up! according to sources, they were all loved up at the after party. they âdidnât leave each otherâs spaceâ. what do we think about this new couple ham1ltons?
view all comments
user1: who tf even is she
-> user2: a baddie. sheâs seriously so funny and sweet. you guys should see her tiktok or insta pages. jude is punching above his weight.
user3: oh!
user4: HOTTIES!!!
user5: why they doing the most in public???
-> user6: theyâre in love? girl lmao.
-> user7: sheâs his beard or heâs hers. idk yet. i need to consult the stars.
-> user8: ^ me when iâm off my meds.
user9: am i the only one who thinks theyâre cute? good for them!!
user10: um i think sheâd be happier with lando.
-> user11: lando please how are you still making new accounts.
-> user10: iâm totally not the handsome and gorgeous lando. iâm actually⊠pando. hi.
user12: my gf and my bf are dating??? iâm gonna be sick.
-> user13: they got two hands.
user14: theyâre rlly dating???
-> user15: no bitch. theyâre just coworkers đ
-> user14: oh! thank you :D
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UPDATE: my girlfriendâs boss (l,39) hates me and itâs ruining my relationship. help?
hi all, itâs j again. thanks for the advice on my last postâit was a mix of helpful, hilarious, and⊠well, a bit unsettling. but it gave me the push i needed to talk to l. hereâs what happened:
i decided to man up and ask him out for a pint to clear the air. i figured it was the most normal thing to do. well, turns out lâs teetotal (thanks, y, for not warning me properly). when i suggested a pint, he just looked at me for a second and went, âi donât drink, mate,â in that calm, terrifying way he has. i panicked, said something about tea, and left feeling like an absolute idiot.
but two days later, he called y at work and told her to invite me round to his place for tea. TEA. this man lives in a house that looks like itâs straight out of a Bond film, so you can imagine how intimidating it was to rock up with a packet of biscuits like some budget offering.
long story short, we had tea, and he cleared the air. he admitted heâd been giving me a hard time because he wanted to make sure i was serious about y. he said sheâs like family to him (didnât say âwork spouse,â thank god), and he needed to know iâd treat her right. honestly, it was a bit awkward, but also kind of sweet.
so yeah, weâre good now. he even said heâd save me a seat for the next big race. i donât know if that was a peace offering or a power move, but iâll take it.
thanks for the push, reddit. you lot are mad, but in a good way. most of the time.
comments:
ladybantheboys: told you he was testing you! this is literally every rom-com ever. next step: you accidentally bond over an inside joke, and he becomes your biggest fan.
bananabreadbae: this is so british it hurts. âsorry i was mean, letâs have tea.â mate, at least you passed the test!
football4ever: called it! blokes like him just want to make sure youâre solid. now youâre in his good books, youâre set for life. congrats, mate.
memequeen420: so⊠what kind of biscuits did you bring? was it something boring like digestives, or did you go all out with hobnobs? we NEED to know.
randomuser_123: this is like when my dog hated my boyfriend at first but then they bonded over cheese. sometimes it just takes time.
tofu_throwaway: glad it worked out, but honestly, iâm still a bit scared of l. even through your post, he sounds like he could crush a man with a single stare.
iamnotanon: congrats on passing the test. now donât mess it up, or i guarantee heâll make you disappear. rich people have connections.
ultimategoblin69: you went to his house?! are you sure it wasnât a trap? like, did he subtly scan your fingerprints for future blackmail material?
plshelpme1998: like, this whole thing is giving weirdly protective father vibes. good luck, mate.
user2847: what does his house smell like? no, seriously. i feel like rich peopleâs houses have that âold moneyâ smell, like leather and expensive wood polish. was it intimidating?
(deleted): send feet pics.
opinionatedowl: so⊠whenâs the wedding? iâm assuming l will walk her down the aisle now that youâve been knighted into his inner circle.
thecheeseman: this is the most British solution ever. âi made you feel terrible, but here, have some earl grey, and now weâre mates.â glad it worked out though!
memequeen420 (again): STILL no answer on the biscuits. j, youâre avoiding the REAL questions here. were they branded or store-brand? did he eat one? this is important.
weirdcookieperson: did he sniff you when you walked in? like, does he have a heightened sense of smell? rich people are weird, man.
alphamale_uk: mate, you handled this all wrong. never apologise, never offer tea, and NEVER back down to another alpha. you shouldâve walked in, sat in his chair, and asserted dominance. thatâs how you gain respect. next time, bring steak, not biscuits. real men bond over meat, not tea.
j (op): lâs vegan, mate. bringing a steak wouldâve been like waving a red flag at a bull. also, this isnât Planet of the Apes, itâs just tea. chill.
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j (op): wow, i forgot how weird reddit is. for the record: branded hobnobs. because iâm not a monster. no sniffing, no fingertip scanning and iâll get someone to update you if i go missing. cheers for the laughs.
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â all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @aliciaablueprint @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @theblueblub @23victoria @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @landososcar @yongi-lee @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @sainzluvrr @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr @tetetoni @ssprayberrythings @heavy-vettel @tashisgf @daniskywalkersolo @c-losur3 @lestappenslover @linoscrly (see yourself tagged when you donât wanna be? or you want to be and donât see yourself? send me an ask!)
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#dream girl universe ă·#jaydeâs works â#lewis hamilton social media au#lewis hamilton x reader#jude bellingham x black reader#jude bellingham smau#jude bellingham x y/n#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham fanfic#f1 smau#football smau#formula one smau#formula one imagine
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hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)
i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now
although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.
i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense
as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.
anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.
sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.
anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!
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Sorry for grossing you out but uh, I have a complex claim to a lot of religions and cultures because of how colonialism (arguably Israel is a settler colony state so uh⊠hmmm) has impacted me.
As youâve ascertained (correctly) Iâm a non-Jewish American, only by technicality, because I havenât found a rabbi that will even support the fact that Iâm gay and the âthree asksâ thing feels like a troll move which feels⊠homophobic???
I need you to seriously consider how my life has been negatively influenced (hence the circumcision poll) by a bastardized JEWISH practice, and what the fuck that means for my identity as it feels like fate to some degree and a bit offensive that you would yuck my ability to find yum in Yhwh or w/e because Iâm⊠too much of a faggoy? Idk man⊠just asking questions. Iâd love to clarify your response in a dm since its⊠a lot. Not meaning to offend just sick of being put in a box because my circumcision and mother arenât ârightâ enough to be in the in club because Hekate or Satan or whatever swooped in and said âNOPEâ đ
Cheers
Trying to understand Israel through the lens of settler colonialism is a failing proposition. Consider the following:
Jews are indigenous to Israel. We have a historical record that says theyâre from there in both the Greek and Roman written record. Like there is as much if not more evidence of Jews in Israel in Roman writing as there is of Julius Caesar being a real person. We also have archaeological evidence. Israel is covered with digs that find evidence of Jewish life dating back 2,000-3,000 years. We also have genetic evidence. DNA studies have shown that even super white looking Ashkenazi Jews have significant portions of DNA that are most closely related to other groups from the southern Levant.
So to call Jews settlers either denies all that evidence, insists that indigenous people can be settlers on their own land, or posits that indigenous people can somehow lose their status as indigenous if you wait long enough. The first is anti-intellectual and antisemitic, the second is ridiculous and the third is a dangerous line of thinking for all indigenous people. How long before Native Americans no longer have a claim to their land? How long before Maori no longer have a claim? Itâs not really a place we want to go.
As for colonial, the definition of a colony is âa country or area under the full or partial political control of another country, typically a distant one, and occupied by settlers from that country.â So which country controls Israel? I think weâve seen over the last year that itâs not the US given the way Bibi has repeatedly blown off Biden, so who is it? Which country is sending settlers to control the area? Again, itâs not the US. While some American Jews make Aliyah every year, the vast majority of Jews in Israel are either from Europe or the Middle East. To be a colony, you have to be a colony of some other power. What is the other power here?
So we can see that Jews are neither settlers nor colonizers. But you know who did colonize the area? Arabs. Arabs are indigenous to the Arabian peninsula, not Israel. And in the 7th century, Arabs came from the Arabian peninsula into Israel (and other places), conquered the locals and did their best to eradicate their cultures, forced conversions to the conquering religion, and settled in the new lands while being under the political control of the far away Caliphate. Sounds like settler colonialism to me. So if we must understand someone in the area as colonial (and I still donât think itâs the best way to look at things, but if you do) then itâs the people that Palestinians are descended from.
Having said all that, just because colonialism has impacted you, it doesnât mean you have a complex claim to Judaism. Here are ways you can have a complex claim to Judaism: 1) your father is Jewish and your mother is not, 2) you have Jewish ancestors who were forced to convert and you are now trying to reconnect with the religion that was taken from them. I donât know your history, so itâs possible that one of those is true. But if you have no Jewish ancestry, then your claim is not complex, itâs non-existent, and if you do have Jewish ancestry but your ancestors willingly left the tribe, then you donât really have much of a claim either. That doesnât mean you canât convert, but given that you seem to think you have claims on other aspects of Judaism as a non-Jew, my gut reaction is to be very doubtful toward your claim on Judaism in general.
If you canât find a rabbi to support your conversion because youâre gay, youâre looking in the wrong places. The senior rabbi at my synagogue is gay, and we have several queer families as part of the congregation. There are literal signs on the door to the main office that say Trans and Queer Jews welcome here. This doesnât mean that all congregations are welcoming, but lots are.
The three asks thing is a metaphor that some rabbis take literally. Converting to Judaism is a big decision. The three asks are to make sure that youâve really thought about it and are really sure â that youâre taking it seriously and thought through all the consequences. If that feels like trolling to you, then maybe Judaism isnât a good fit. Honestly, from my interactions with you this week, I would bet that the rabbis youâve met with havenât said no because youâre gay, theyâve said no because you donât seem super interested in taking on Jewishness, you just want to take from it instead.
I donât know what happened with your circumcision. If it went wrong and it was done by a mohel then you can feel angry toward the Jewish people I guess, but I would want to know why your parents had a bris for you if they werenât planning on raising you Jewish. If you were just circumcised as a medical procedure, as many American babies are, then you may have trauma related to it, but you donât need to be taking it out on the Jewish people, which is exactly what that poll was doing.
Donât write down those four letters. Donât try to pronounce them either. We have asked, repeatedly that people not do that, and once again, the fact that you are is super disrespectful to Jewish people. Write G-d, or God if you must, or even Hashem (I don't think goyim should, but it's better than what you did), but not those four letters. Itâs not yucking your yum. You are allowed to enjoy what you want. But what you are doing here is the equivalent of coming into my house and saying that because my dinner looks delicious you can just reach onto my plate with your bare hand, scoop up some of what Iâm eating, take a bite and throw the rest back. Itâs disrespectful and offensive. I am not objecting to your joy, Iâm objecting to your lack of respect to my culture.
Being Jewish is about more than just being circumcised and having the ârightâ mother. There is a culture here that you need to understand. If you are raised in it, then you get to join the club that way. If youâre not, then you can put in the work to learn it and learn to be respectful of it and join the club that way. So far, you havenât been able to find a rabbi that thinks youâre willing to do that work, and from what Iâve seen, Iâm willing to agree.
#asks and answers#I do not like blocking people#but this person was on thin ice to begin with#and I'm not sure how much more tolerance I can extend#they said previously that they're just annoying not a threat#and it's not that they're annoying it's that they're disrespectful and unrepentantly so
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H-hey mootie
So itâs my birthday this week
So if you would make a blurb about drider!Miguel killing readers shitty husband then fucking her đ·ïž
I would love it đ„șđ„șđ„ș
Yes itâs Halloweeny thatâs cause I didnât have the energy to write it myself no matter the word count or format I know you can do it Justice!! Love ya!!
YES U CAN MY WONDERFUL MOOT. đđ Dedicated to the amazing moot đ€ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ILYYY đžïžđ·ïž @cullen-rutherford-wifey
Huge thanks to my moot adqui for the Spanish translation help, and to @politemenacephd for the inspiration and their flawless Drider!Miguel smut in Arachnophilia that helped me a ton with this fic. đ€
can I be him
CW: MINORS DNI, X FEM!READER, MONSTERFUCKING, SMUT, P IN V, LOTS OF CUM, NIPPLE PLAY, LIGHT BONDAGE, SPIT, BREEDING, CREAMPIE, ANAL PLAY(idk if that's what it's called) EDGING, DRIDER!MIGUEL, ANGST, MUTUAL PINING, SLIGHTLY STALKER ISH BEHAVIOR, GRAPHIC BLOOD AND VIOLENCE, DOMESTIC DISPUTE, YOU HAVE A SHITTY HUSBAND, MURDER, INFIDELITY, A DARKER PIECE PLS PLSSSSS MIND THE WARNINGS.
Words 6.1k
Miguel shouldn't be doing this. But he can't help it. It was wrong to watch you like this. To want you like this.Â
The warm glow cast by the screen floating in front of him softened his chiseled features as he gazed longingly at you through the portal of dimensions that kept you apart.Â
A gorgeous, living variant of his own version of you that he could not save. The only one out of thousands he had come across. And believe that when he first lost you, his unfathomable grief kept him searching, scouring, waiting, hoping for months that there was one more universe out there where death didn't rip you away.Â
And the first he discovered just had to be one where you belonged to someone else.Â
Dated for almost five years now. Married for going on three. And the kicker was that bastard didn't even deserve you.Â
The multiverse was cruel. In every other reality, tragedy irrevocably tainted the legacy of Miguel O'Hara.Â
Always so close, and yet, never finding peace in any set of cards he was coldly dealt.Â
In this particular dimension he was watching you from, he was a mutant with his top half being that of a man and the lower half, that of a spider. A large abdomen adorned in fuzzy black hair with eight enormous thick legs like a tarantula and venomous fangs, irises of bleeding crimson to match. He was a drider. A monster, as far as he was concerned.Â
But there were times when he'd watch you that he'd allow himself to be crazy enough to dream that you could love someone like him.
At least in his mind he wasn't chained back by his fears and insecurities. At least for now in the sanctity of his office, your shitty husband didn't exist and you weren't lightyears away in an opposite plane of reality. You could be free to be all his, monstrous features be damned.
A version of you loved him once, would it really be all that far fetched to think you could possibly learn to love him again?
---
Another long day ended. You exhaled a weary sigh as you left the cold of late fall that was descending quickly into winter in the icy world behind you. Closing the door to your house that seldom felt like home these days.Â
You supposed your life was okay, but still you wouldn't have chosen it had you known this feeling of monotony would haunt you everywhere you went.
From your job, to sometimes family, but most of all your marriage. Nearly all your life, you felt out of place, but never quite like this. You supposed it started as early as nine months into your relationship with your now husband.Â
When he stopped buying flowers, when his texts became fewer, hours at work became longer, his patience shorter. You chalked it up to the unpredictable ebbs and flows of love.
"Love isn't perfect. Not all rainbows and butterflies," you were told time and time again.Â
When your husband wanted to, he could be great. When he was bad, he could be exceptionally worse. But how could you be so sure? With practically nothing to compare it to, you supposed this was simply the path that was carved out for you. Mediocrity may be disappointing but passion alone couldn't keep a roof over your head. Stability was still a wiser thing to choose than comfortability.Â
Even so, on the eve of your birthday, the empty spot next to you in bed that you slowly became accustomed to delivered that sharp reminder of just how lonely you really were.Â
Tears fell and seeking solace, you shamelessly indulged and allowed your mind to visualize him. That mystery man from afar who haunted your dreams and took up permanent residence in your mind with his bewitching crimson eyes. Sometime around when you suspected the love your husband once had for you had all but ceased.Â
You don't know why, but this being seemed to call for you, seemed to speak to you. To that forgotten part inside that for the life you couldn't explain why it remained empty.
It was almost like a cosmic bond to him, an adept yearning. An invisible lining etched into your very being that somehow recalled him in a different life. That gorgeous face without a name.Â
Miguel.Â
----
Miguel stirs awake, realizing he was a victim of sleep while watching you. His attention is called immediately to a growing spat between you and your husband.Â
"I asked a simple fucking question, John. Where. were. you."
"And I GAVE YOU A SIMPLE FUCKING ANSWER. Don't. fucking. worry. about. it."Â
Miguel sits up, high on alert, spider senses kicking in. Something about John's tone this time was highly unsettling.Â
"You know what, I've lost count by now, John..." You flung your hands in the air, weary, defeated and broken down by the endless disappointment, tear soaked trails running from your eyes that hadn't stopped since last night. "But of all the days out of the year...you just couldn't keep it in your pants on my fucking birthday..."Â
"Do you fucking hear yourself??" John screamed. "Nobody said anything about cheating! Where in this entire conversation has there ever even a hint about cheating? I'll fucking tell you: NONE." He points an accusatory finger. "You brought this all on yourself, not me!"Â
"It was Carla again, wasn't it." You nodded with a tearful sob, pacing around the living room. "Carla, fucking, Carla..."
Maybe fixing these pillows could distract you from the agonizing realization that you were reliving the nightmare of John's infidelity. Going on three for three when you thought the first and second time he had learned enough.Â
"I didn't sleep with goddamn Carla!!" John grabs a mug and hurls it at the wall.Â
That's it. Miguel draws a portal immediately. His yearning had reached a breaking point, and this fight was all the push he needed to come to shove. Miguel O'Hara normally obeyed the rules, but this version of him was unlike the others.Â
No rule was above being broken when it came to the lengths he would go for you.Â
"Real fucking mature, John. What are you gonna do huh? Gonna hit me, choke me?? Maybe then you'll actually be half the man you think you are!"Â
"Ohhh you fucking little..."Â
But before the worst can happen, an otherworldly threat makes itself known with a random buzzing orange window opening, allowing an enormous half man, half spider through.Â
You and your husband scream in horror, your conflict between you temporarily forgotten.Â
"Shit shit SHITTTT!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! John what's happening??"Â
"I don't fucking know..." John mumbles in disbelief, flinching as Miguel's long legs pound on the hardwood floor, echoing under his formidable size. His eyes appeared menacing, deeply laced with venomous dislike as he glowered at John, but seemed to soften, if not only for just a fleeting moment when they landed on you.Â
"If...if we both donât get out of this. I need to tell you something" John mumbles almost incoherently as your fingers dug into his arm.Â
"W-what?" You turn to look at John, at this face that housed a soul inside it that you once knew but no longer recognized. Almost wordlessly appealing to whatever final shred of respect he had left inside for you as a last ditch effort to give you some semblance of the man you once loved.Â
"I ruined everything. Your sister and I fucked. Just know, I'm sorry..."
And before you could even have a moment to compute that final godforsaken dagger he had the nerve to drive into your heart, he shoved you in the way of the monster like a piece of meat so he could save his cowardly ass.Â
"JOHN!" the sound was wretched and broken. Devasted by betrayal. You shrieked in fear and brought your arms over your head, prepared to absorb whatever immense pain was about to wrack your whole body, praying frantically for a quick death.Â
But, you gasped in alarm when no such fate arrived and Miguel charged headfirst at your fleeing coward of a husband, pinning him to a wall as nearby photographs came down with crash of splintering glass.Â
His head hit the wall with a deafening crack, a dark pool of maroon beginning to leak from behind him and drip out of his nose.Â
He yelled but the sound was quickly muffled as Miguel's calloused hands wrapped around his throat, a couple trails of blood oozing down his fist. Â
"B-babe....aacghkk...please m'ergh sorry, I'm..." John tried to choke out, his teeth now coated in sheer red from where he bit his tongue, quiet trickles audible as the blood from his head seeped onto the floor underneath him. Â
Miguel was only moments away from crushing his windpipe, but he untensed his jaw when he heard you trying to catch your breath on the floor. He turned, taking note of how helpless and fearful you looked.Â
Though it would have given him immense pleasure to pull the plug, he had to think of you first.Â
"Do you mind?" He merely asks, his eyes cold as his fingers tightened just a bit.Â
"P-please..." John croaks. "Please...Babe..."
You're still reeling from anger that was slowly turning to anguish. As you looked at John, for the first time you felt nothing. It only took years and him nearly sacrificing you before himself for you to wake up and realize the sorry shell of a man he had turned into.Â
"Goodbye, John." You uttered like venom and turned away as you heard the sickening crackle and then wet sound of choking blood as Miguel snapped John's neck in half.Â
----
"You okay?"Â
"Fine."
Miguel could tell you were lying. After swiftly disposing of the body in a different dimension and washing up, he had came back to discover you hadn't moved an inch from your spot on the floor. Your numbness kept you anchored, gazing into the haunting abyss of the blood spatter that remained on the wall.Â
"Hey, easy now. " Miguel murmured as you finally began to stand up.Â
"I can handle my own, thanks."Â
"Of course, I mean..." He clears his throat, stomach uneasy when you became short with him. "Sorry."
You two sat opposite each other in the living room with you and on the couch and Miguel on the floor as that was the only space that could accommodate him.Â
Sometime during the seemingly infinite silence, you realized all of this bullshit your now dead ex managed to put you through in his final hours on earth made you profoundly indifferent to the fact a literal drider broke into your home.Â
"Who are you?" You ask at last. "And why didn't you kill me too?"
Miguel looks at you quickly, glad the empty silence was broken at last. "My name is Miguel." He looks down, shame in his expression. "And I, well.."
He doesn't think he should divulge all of his secrets yet. Surviving near death by drider and having your husband's cheating revealed shortly before his untimely death was more than enough burden to bear.Â
"I'm not from around here."Â
"I gathered that." Your eyes rake over his enormous form. You should be beside yourself. This man creature just killed your husband after all. But something about his voice was calming. Oddly soothing. Dare you say it was, rather attractive?
"So what are you, half spider?"Â
For the first time, an inkling of amusement shows on his face. "What, did my eight legs give it away?"Â
"Just a little." You hum, bringing your knees to your chest as you allowed yourself to relax.Â
"You know, you're...eerily calm about all of this."Â
"Heh...I know. Guess I kind of feel like I'm still asleep and I'm gonna wake up any minute."Â
"Wanna test that theory?" Miguel quirks a brow.Â
You pinch yourself while keeping your deadpan stare, holding it for a moment as if it would do anything. "Nope."Â
"Wow." Miguel says sarcastically to which you can't help but snicker. "So, do weird occurrences like this happen to you often? Still doesn't explain why you're not completely hysterical about all this."Â
"I watch the news." You shrug. "Crazy shit happens in New York all the time. What with Spider-Man being a thing and all. Just a step above normal, I'd say."Â
"Ah." It made sense. Miguel should've known your dimension had its own spider. A little bit of relief washed over him. At least this made things a bit less messy on his end. He falls silent again, stealing little glances of you now and then.Â
You were fucking ethereal in person. Being this close was something he only dreamed about. Now that it was happening in real time, he was wracking his mind desperately for ideas on how to drag it out as long as he could.Â
"So if I may: how'd you become half spider?" You ask the hard question at last.Â
Miguel raises his eyebrows, somewhat relieved you took the first leap. He proceeds to tell you about his lab accident, and how he became spliced with spider DNA.
He tells you about the multiverse, and how there are many versions of him out there with the same story, but his cursed him with the lower half of a mutant unlike most.Â
"So, if there's a whole multiverse out there, are there multiple versions of myself too?" You lean your chin on your hand like a curious pupil.Â
Miguel nods stiffly, trying to disguise the weight of the information he held. "Yeah. "
You go silent again, then you ask, "Did you know me in your own universe?"
Miguel's heart pangs subtly at the reminder. "Yeah, I did..." He looks away from you but you can't help but continue to stare at him.Â
He really was so pleasant to look at. That brown, wavy hair that curled just slightly at the ends you could only imagine would run like silk between your fingers, eyes a hue of red that couldn't be replicated anywhere except the deep center of the rarest rose, lulling voice that dripped from those full lips. This formidableness about him that crumbled into gentleness only when it came to you did absolutely nothing but pull you closer to him.Â
For the first time, those unconnected dots in that unanswered part of you in your dreams might be falling into place.Â
"Was I quite close to you?" Your heart steadily begins to pick up.Â
Miguel shook under his desire to just let the facade fall away and pull you into his arms. But he remained still as he looked back at you, silent plea from behind his words that was only articulated in those eyes that put bleeding sunsets to shame.
"You meant the world to me."Â
The pieces coming together prompted these strong emotions you weren't expecting, coming out in broken tears. "So that's why you found me..." You shook your head.Â
Miguel's heart tugs outside of his chest. He stands up, drawing closer, then his legs folded as he leaned in to where you sat on the couch. When you didn't pull away, he got the courage to cup your face in both his hands, gently wiping the wetness away.Â
"Why didn't you come get me sooner?" It clicks at that very moment. That tender gaze that graced you now could not belong to anyone other than your starcrossed beloved who visited every time you closed your eyes.Â
"I wanted to." Miguel must suppress his own tears at this point. Oh how he wanted to, how he ached to.
"Believe me, I really did, mi vida.."Â
His term of endearment for you just encourages you to liquify under his touch even more. "But why didn't you?? I was so miserable. I waited for you. I thought you weren't real. Thought you were never coming..."Â
"I know, I know." Miguel closed his eyes when your foreheads met at last. This feeling of touching you for the first time elated him, shedded him of his internal torment. He felt like he was soaring.
"You were married and I was..." He sighs deeply, pulling away just a little, "I was... well, me."Â
"What do you mean by that?" You furrow your brows, your heart panged by hurt, trying to understand why. Why he deprived himself of this thing you both clearly wanted when it was right there.Â
"Nobody as beautiful as you would ever love someone who looks like me.."Â
A pit falls to the bottom of your stomach and you immediately shake your head. "No...no, that couldn't be further from the truth, Miguel..."Â
You sit up, leaning in as you took his face in your hands again. His eyes went wide in disbelief. "W-what are you..."Â
A million chills erupt in Miguel's body that become embers of warmth as your lips touch for the first time. He holds his breath, then sighs. The little break in between the kiss and the low, gentle sound coming from him just encourages you to meet him again, and again.Â
Your fingers wind their way into his hair and his own hands couldn't do anything but pull you even closer as the kiss deepened under the weight of the burning passion. The longing was set free, a million questions answered that just kept confirming to Miguel over and over that this couldn't be more right. Canon be damned, rules be damned as your lips and your hands became a slow dance of sensual exploration.Â
"Miguel..."Â
"Please I-mnghhh..." He pleads then relents immediately as he lets his head roll gently back, allowing you to continue blazing tantalizing trails of kisses all over his neck. Because of the size difference between you both, he scoops you into his arms off the couch. He can't help but indulge the feeling of your body pressed against his, using his grip on your thighs to grind you ever so lightly against his abdomen.Â
The pressure delivered from the press of his body shoots directly to your core and you shamelessly take that as permission to roll your hips slightly as you straddled him, releasing that first moan into his mouth when your lips came back up from exploring the warmth of his neck.Â
That delicious little sound you make nearly wrecks him in the best way. Miguel moans equally louder as his kisses dial up in intensity. His teeth begin nipping intermittently as the kiss morphs into a passionate exchange of saliva and collision of lips on lips. The potent venom laced in his fangs pools with the building zeal and it seeps into your mouth, leaving sweet aftertaste whose foreignness only fuels your arousal.Â
An enormous thud echoes as Miguel falls backwards, but it does absolutely nothing to deter the flame lit under you. You both find a comfortable rhythm as his hands guide your hips as you ride his large spider abdomen while your makeout session riled with fervor. The coarse bristly hairs were a delicious addition to the addicting friction with each slow roll of your body. Miguel's lips fall open and his eyes falter. You relish this feeling of power over him, this enormous drider who all but became a weak weak man when he was underneath you.Â
You bite your lip as each heavenly movement inspires you to leave all shame at the door and start to put on a show. You card your fingers in your hair, moving it in your eyes in erotic display, groaning as you rolled your head every which way in careless abandon, letting your fingers dip in your mouth, squeezing your breasts.Â
"Fuckkk me..." Miguel breathes out. "Fuck me, you're so...God, you're so beautiful..." He hands continue to knead the swell of your ass, gritting his teeth as his grip locks down even harder and he feels you humping directly over his slit where his phallus was hardening underneath the ocean of fur to the point of ache.Â
His hands then move to play with your breasts, your eyes widened when the spot on your hips is quickly replaced with two of his smaller forelegs, one of them teasing the waistband of your pants as his human hands quickly unclasped your bra.Â
"Miguellll...." You mewl as one of his forelegs holds your hip steady while the other works little circles through your clothed clit, all while you felt his warm, wet tongue flatten and tease your left nipple. All you can do at this point is moan and let him wreck you completely, this pleasure that was smoldering you from all sides.Â
You gazed down, amazed and aroused to discover that the lower half attached to this beautiful man you were tangled in only fueled the desire, this taboo. Knowing fully well that he was capable of bloodshed, but for now he only wanted to fuck you. You grinded harder against him, answering his soft ministrations of your clit with eager gyrations of your hips.Â
"Me vas a terminar matando..."(You'll end up killing me) He weakly chuckled, "So, so perfect..."
Miguel is intoxicated by your breasts, circulating and squeezing them together, while his lips dribbled and slobbered as he sucked them both greedily into his mouth in messy alteration.
Soon both round globes were coated in a dripping sheen of his venom, working the thickening syrup in sloppy circles over both nipples that tingled and numbed you so deliciously along with the teasing circles of his thumbs that it made your back arch to the heavens.Â
He leaned back momentarily to admire his handiwork, lower jaw shiny with a mixture of venom and spit, a steamy yet filthy display of his subtle ownership he now felt over you.Â
His.Â
His rightful claim when he snapped your sorry ass excuse of a husband like a twig. Each little noise you made all for him only swelling his pride and confirming his suspicion that the loser couldn't make you cum like he could.Â
Speaking of cumming, you were damn near close. Miguel doesn't want to be greedy and would love to let his sweet little darling cream and squirt all over his stomach right now, but the thought was more appealing for this first time being on his tongue or, if you were up for it, his drider cock.Â
"I wanna cum, Miguel, please I wanna cum..." You whined, temporarily losing that sweet spot as he removed his forelegs from their massage on your clit.Â
"I know baby, I'm gonna make you cum..." He kissed you. "You'll cum for me. Many times, I'll make sure of it..." He panted, moving a finger underneath your chin. "How do you feel about taking my cock?"Â
The straightforward nature of his question answered itself in the further dampening spot in your panties. "Please...Y-yes pleaseee, Miguel. Want you to fuck me...want you to give me your cock..."Â
"Yeah?" He groaned, hands slinking all up and down your body, under your clothes, stroking your breasts. "I'll give it to you then, baby...fill you up so good..."Â
He paused then kissed you deeply once more. "You're gonna have to trust me... We'll have to try something different so this can work..."Â
You nodded. "I trust you, Miguel."Â
"Okay..." He whispered. "You're still okay with this?"Â
"Yes, I'm okay..." You breathed back. "I'm okay, baby. I want you so badly. I'm willing to try anything so you can be so deep inside of me..."Â
"Fuck, me too..." He groaned back against your lips. "Okay, hold on f'me..."Â
He set you back down on the couch and you were floored as you watched your beloved turn into an artist, spinning an elaborate web that stretched from floor to ceiling, almost like a swing that was anchored solidly on both sides to the wall.Â
"Mi vida..." He offers you his hand like a gentleman, helping you up. "Can I?" He whispers as his hands disappear underneath your clothes.Â
"Yes..."Â
He strips you carefully and slowly like fine china, letting the anticipation build as every patch of skin slowly became revealed to him.Â
Somehow letting him undress you, sliding the rest of your panties off and simply letting his eyes roam freely all over your body felt like the most intimate thing you had done all night, even more so as he still remained fully clothed in his top half as he stood back and drunk in the sight of you like wine.Â
"You're simply stunning, love..."Â
His hands ghosted low on your hips until they rested on the bare curve of your ass. You jumped and wrapped your thighs around him, Miguel tensed his jaw with a smirk as he kneaded the plump flesh of your ass, hardening again when he felt your bare slick he drew out of your pussy earlier against his stomach.Â
He nestled you into the makeshift swing that was soft and sticky as the fibers clung to your bare skin in a natural adhesive. He spun more webs around your ankles, opening them slightly.Â
"Is this still okay?" He asked gently again.Â
Exhilaration washed over you but you nodded, grinning and easing your legs open in further tease to demonstrate your own building excitement for what was to come. "Yes..."Â
"Good." His voice went halfway between a groan again at your pretty pussy blossoming like a flower in front of him.Â
He stood back, eyes cloudy and trained on you as he removed his shirt, letting it fall in a quiet heap to the ground.Â
You drank him in as well like an offering, moaning audibly when the slit in his fur low on his abdomen opened to reveal a long, thick, hard red cock with pulsating black veins adorning both sides. It curved upwards, and it throbbed, making your mouth water.Â
This only made the full sight of your monstrous lover even more alluring as he stood before you in all his drider glory, towering over you even now when you were closer to his eye level in your makeshift swing, with your thighs spread and your silky cunt begging to be filled.Â
He shot a web onto your belly, pulling you in closer while you still sat settled on the swing, giggling as he smirked playfully at you, until just the tip of his cock kissed between your folds.Â
"Hi there..." You chuckled, tilting your head up, wetting your lips seductively.Â
He groaned quietly in a stew of lust as he saw your tongue rake over your bottom lip,Â
"Hello, sweetheart...fucking gorgeous thing, you..."
He gently pinched both sides of your cheeks between his thumb and pointer finger, immediately bringing you into a deep french kiss.Â
The feeling of his warm tongue sliding in your mouth shot directly down to your cunt, only amping up in electricity as he teased his plump girthy head of his cock all around your pulsing clit.Â
"Miguel....fuck me..." Your spine arched and your nails dug into his shoulder, aggravating the raging arousal he was simmering for you all over his body. "Don't tease me like this, baby..."Â
Miguel released a mischievous chuckle that tapered into another one of his low moans that goaded you even deeper into all this pent up frustration you wish he'd take out on your now sopping pussy already.
"Ten paciencia, mi vida, por favor... " (Be patient, my life, please) He cooed sweetly at you, lightly brushing his nose against yours "Gotta get you nice and ready to take me..."Â
You breath became choked in your lungs when he begins to massage the fat tip directly over your velvety clit, grunting as he felt another drip of arousal leak and coat all along the thick head.Â
"Besides..." He murmured heavily though soft parted lips, entranced with hooded eyes. "The more I edge you, the more pleasureable it'll be when I finally make you cum all over my cock..."
"Baby, please..." The crescendo of arousal swelled in your belly, making your eyes water. You coaxed your body against him faster, desperate to reach that peak, but your movements were minimal due to the webbing. The feeling of emptiness covered you but was quickly eased when he promptly removed his tip from your clit again, this time dragging it down to your dripping entrance.Â
"Kiss me..." Miguel murmured and he didn't need to tell you twice. His tongue rolled and rubbed with yours as he began to circle his cock into your wet opening, inch by inch filling you ever so slowly. You gasp into his mouth, realizing this whole time what he was talking about. You felt every rigid vein, every solid groove as his drider cock slowly pushed into you, stretching you beyond comprehension. It was unlike any you've ever taken before. Fuck, it felt better than any you'd ever taken before.Â
Once you got past the daunting size, the addicting feeling and pleasure of having his cock inside you set off a new chorus of breathy moans from your lips. You sighed deliciously as you greedily accepted everything he was giving you, so transfixed on his divine face that was watching you the entire time.Â
Miguel was irrevocably smitten, completely enamored with the way your warm silky walls wrapped around him, the way you looked at him with immense rapture. Fuck, this feeling was greater than anything he felt in his entire life as your pussy molded to him like it was made for him. "So tight, cariño..." He teased then hissed as he reached the hilt.Â
You two gazed at each other, completely silent for what felt like divine eternity. Simply enjoying the feeling of Miguel being buried so deeply inside you.Â
"I'm gonna start fucking you..." He whispered.Â
"Go slow at first, baby..." You purred back, clenching your pussy around him, biting your lip when it earned another weak grunt from him. "Wanna feel you nice and deep like this for a bit..."Â
"Haah...you're a goddamn tease..." Miguel huffed. "I'll try and go slow as long as I can..." The sound that came from him next was downright pathetic as he looked down at where he had you stuffed to the brim, feeling along the emerging bulge in your belly.Â
"You feel so fucking good, it's hard not to just fucking ravish you right now..."Â
"Mmm...just kiss me, then..." You murmured and he quickly seized onto that opportunity as he slowly began to pump inside you with lengthy, meaningful thrusts. Every movement was so wet and sloppy with drenched noises as a sea of slick began to drool from your pussy, coating his cock that slid in and out of you with greater ease as the moments passed.Â
You squeezed your thighs in a death grip around his large waist as you became more hammered off this euphoria, the bristly hairs tickling the sensitive sides along your clit, goading you to grind back into each deep thrust.Â
"Shit..." And Miguel's patience flew out the door with that lethal squeeze of your thighs, his hands gripped the curve of your ass as he began to completely unload on your needy wet cunt. You cried out as you took every torturous inch like the absolute whore you were for him in this moment.
It tested your limits but God, this feeling of him thoroughly fucking you nice and hard scratched that nagging, primal itch you experienced ever since you first laid eyes on him. You were practically drooling at this point, laying back and taking it, your submission just fueling his fire, unlocking that deep seated urge to fucking breed this perfect cunt for all it was worth, to ruin you and fuck your brains out so you could feel him for weeks.Â
"Miguel, Miguel, Miguellllll....." The hungry, wispy mantra of his name from your lips nearly set him off the edge alone, a raw possession washing over him completely as he railed his cock into you to new limits.Â
"You're all mine now, you know that..."Â
"I'm all yours Miguel...all yours baby..."Â
He cut you off with another fiery kiss. "Wanna cum inside you, baby, can I?"Â
"Fffuck yes....yes, Miguel, fill me..."Â
"I'll fill you up, baby..." His forelegs come up again, but this time one directly rubbing quick, vibrating circles on your clit, while one gently teased and massaged the puckered rim of your ass, all while his heavy slick covered cock continued to pound your pussy. "But you're gonna cum f'me first..."Â
"Miguel..."Â
You nearly black out as you see heaven. Miguel locks in, dipping his head down as he swallowed onto your left breast again, tweaking and tugging the nipple of the right, his mouth salivating and more venom dousing and dripping from his tongue, soaking down your already sweaty body.Â
The web renders you helpless as you have no option but to lay there and let him pleasure you past anything you thought you could handle. It felt like overstimulation as you shook and cowered and whined so loudly it could wake the neighbors.Â
Your thighs trembled, tears leaking out of the corner of your eyes as you forced yourself to let go. The premature ending of all the previous other treatments he bestowed on your spent pussy piled on top of one another, making this one far more intense and overwhelming than the others. Thick cream oozed lewdly out of you, making a sticky, glossy mess of both your pubes and coating his black fur.Â
"Cumming, sweetheart..." He panted, dripping sweat all down his reddened face, some of it landing in your mouth but you could care less. Everything about this encounter was so dirty and nasty already. The salacious feeling of consuming every part of one another from head to toe reduced you to nothing but a hole for him to dump his cum in, and you'd let him every time.Â
"I-love-you...."Â
And his heavy sweaty shaft and bulbous tip nudged your g spot simultaneously as his foreleg's massage of your swollen clit that your orgasm shuddered and rattled your bones, a new sinful coat of wetness squirting and seeping into Miguel's black fur that he soaked in like a badge of honor.Â
He forgot to warn you before, but when the coil in his balls finally released and he came inside you, the thick, viscous drider cum was like lava as it spilled and drooled and leaked from your insides. Even after you thought he had emptied, another spurt of a thick rope of cum painted your drenched walls and flooded out of you.Â
You both merely panted, eyes locked on each other in a display of intimacy of the deepest and most carnal kind, the overwhelming haze of orgasmic bliss made you both speechless. It almost didn't compute that he told you he loved you.Â
You laid there in your spiderweb tangled underneath your drider lover in the now fully emerged daytime, world outside none the wiser of the steamy, lewd acts that took place. All the more enthralling that this became a love nest built on top of your blood lust and mutual yearning that exploded like gasoline on a fire.Â
For now, real life could wait as you came back down to Earth and gazed at the flood of slick cum dripping and oozing from both of you. You felt that primal urge kick up again as Miguel smirked, softly stuffing the mess of what he could back inside the pool of glistening white that peeked between your aching folds.Â
"And I love you too, Miguel.." You whispered back.
All the puzzle pieces of his scattered life fell back into place as he heard those glorious words hit him like a train. He willed this himself. Even if it meant taking you from another dimension, this thread across time, this inevitable bond was now cemented permanently with your lovemaking and the deepest parts of him that were now inside you.Â
He could deal with all that bullshit later; he had his love back with him where she rightfully belonged.
You both laughed to yourselves as you sauntered down this path of mutual bliss and made a plan to leave all this behind and start a new life with your Drider lover in his reality.Â
But first...you couldn't help but pull him closer and he couldn't help but groan loudly as he effortlessly slipped inside you again,
"It's you and me against the stars, mi vida..."Â
And he groaned before rhythmically moving his body in that sinful dance with yours,Â
"But first I'm gonna prove it by fucking you all over again."Â
---
#from my trees . Ë đ§· Â·đ„ ° . âĄ#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel x reader#spiderman 2099 x reader#miguel x you#miguel o'hara smut#miguel o'hara x fem!reader#cw monsterfucking#tw monsterfucking#cw blood#tw blood#cw murder#tw murder#cw infidelity#cw breeding#cw angst#tw angst#cw violence#tw violence#cw dark content#tw dark content
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just checking in, hon hon hon, hope ur okay and sleeping well and eating/drinking well
đ«đ·
Imma be so fr I am not doing well babes
#i have no money ahahahaahhaaaaa and i cant pay my bills so mochi has been trying to figure out how to pay for that stuff#i was considering taking comissions for fics but idk if anyone would actually comission me so i decided not to#anywyas if anyone knows of how to get a lot of money quick or somehting lmk i guess ahahahahahahahaha#ive been so focused on school lately that i didnt chekc my finances and now im kinda screwed up so you may not hear from me#for a very long time but hopefully again....#id hate to abandon my wips i really do love them
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help idk how to be a caregiver
TW: Brief mention of ABDL and kink
Not to worry, Iâll run you through the basics!
Firstly, Caregiving, put simply, is take care of an age regressor. And taking care of an age regressor just means helping someone who thinks and feels younger than they actually are. While this can seem daunting, especially at first, here are some tips :)
1.Firstly, communication is key. When acting as a Caregiver, you should probably know how, when, and why your Little regresses. Asking your regressor about their individual needs is really the most important thing. There isnât a cookie cutter answer, as we all have different triggers, tastes, etc. Some good points of discussion are:
What age do they usually regress to?
How often and for how long do they usually regress?
What gear do they use?
When do you need to be present/contactable?
What are good or happy things that can cause regression? What bad things can trigger it?
Are they prone to pure or impure regression?
What things make them happy when regressed?
2. Based on the established needs of your regressor, it might be a good idea to get basic supplies. For example, snacks, sippy cups, stuffed animals, and coloring books. These are necessities, especially if they already have their own gear, though I do recommend them for ease and comfort.
3. Most regressors really just want to be cared for like children. Using nicknames such as âkiddoâ or âbaby,â helping them with tasks such as cooking, playing toys with them, talking through something scary going for a walk together; itâs all about retaining that child like experience, with you taking the place of a parent or babysitter.
4. Know their interests and hobbies and engage with them. Watching Bluey, having a tea party, reading, gaming, exploring the parkâwhatever it is. Just doing it with them will make them happy.
5. You might already know this since youâre on my blog, but Caregiving is in no way NSFW. It is entirely SFW. Do not confuse it for any ABDL or kink relationship. Again, you probably know this, but I do feel the need to say it since this will be circulating this side of the internet.
6. Just be there. Listen to them talk excitedly about their day. Tell them youâre proud. Give them a sticker. Remind them you love them. Itâs those small things that really mean a lot. 7. Lastly, here are some important things not to do. All of the things listed below can be incredibly damaging or even traumatic
DO NOT:
Say derogatory things like âyouâre too old to be acting this way.â
Sexualize their regression
Intentionally trigger them without permission
Weaponize or withhold caregiving and regression, such as âI wonât take care of you if you do thisâ or âIâm going to tell everyone about this if you donât listen.â
Disrespect or disregard their opinions because of their headspace
Use corporeal punishment
Generally do/say anything that is unkind or disrespectful!
Ok, thatâs all I can think of for now. I might update this as time goes on. And if anyone in the community has anymore suggestions, feel free to add them! And to you personally, anon, thx for taking the time to ask and learn about all this. I know itâs a lot, but just that youâre willing to educate yourself on the community means so much. So thank you! anyway, hope you all are having a great day!
-Marty
#sfw interaction only#sfw agere#sfw regression#age regression caregiver#age regression community#agere little#agere blog#age regressor#agere community#little space#agere caregiver#sfw caregiver#permaregressor#permaregression
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My opinion about Arcane s2 (mostly Viktor)
I'm trying to be neutral on this, but I'm upset with what they did to Viktor.
I was wrong about their relationship with Sky (but I had hope), you can see he never really cared for her and the animators put their all into conveying that. Plus, let's say Sky represents Viktor's humanity and Viktor himself gives up on her. And it's a lot easier for him to give her up than it is for Jayce, who he's trying to show this new âworldâ to.
They have a lot of gay moments with Jayce, I don't know why the writers call it âfamilyâ. It's really hard to see family in that. It seems like at some point they decided to change the plot, because at the end Jayce and Viktor just disappear and no one just doesn't care what Jayce has with Mel.
The thing I didn't like the most was how they changed Ryze, that now Ryze is Viktor, the all-powerful mage. We know from the documentary that it was Ryze at one point. That would make more sense than Viktor traveling through time and constantly dooming himself to a series of miseries. But then again, they added the âall for Jayceâ aspect to it.
You can see it's supposed to be a different character, right?
I really didn't like how they treated Sky because obviously she wasn't an evil manipulative core. Viktor killed her twice for his own purposes. Once by accident, the second time on purpose. Look, you add a girl who is IN LOVE with a man, make her die twice for him, and show WHY he doesn't care. It's a dirty act. Amanda said she was âproud to write Skyâ, I don't know what there is to be proud of. As a woman, it was painful for me to watch. You didn't have to do that. Did you mean to say the character is gay? You don't have to humiliate women to do that.
I always hoped Viktor wouldn't have any romantic innuendos because feelings, for Herald, are a weakness. But the fact that they're indulging JayVik fans makes it look NOTHING like that. Like, I'm not a fan of this ship, but even I don't consider what they showed as brotherly feelings. Especially from Viktor's side. He is literally too concerned with Jayce's opinion.
I also think that the writers largely emphasized the clips and fights, but didn't add to the story itself. I mean Silco's deep thoughts in the first season on political topics and the theme of family in general was shown much better.
Herald is essentially non-existent. It's a character for the last two episodes who is immediately killed off because of a few words from Jayce. Viktor returns and they vaporize somewhere. I take it this is starting a recurring time loop.
They kind of tried to put in Viktor's âhere he's come to the realization on his own that humanity is badâ, but they did it SO FAST and literally because of one event that it looked bad. Yeah, it's not about hexcore. VIKTOR SUPPOSEDLY CAME TO THIS ON HIS OWN. Why? Because Jayce shot him, and then Jayce helped him realize otherwise. No, really, what was that?
I also didn't like the redesign. I was hoping the mask would look different, but it looks HORRIBLE.
It's supposed to give the impression that Viktor âshut down and withdrew into himselfâ, they also tried to make him a âdeityâ, but since it only lasted 20 minutes before he went back to his normal state, it didn't make any sense⊠Anyway⊠I sympathize with everyone who loved Viktor specifically, outside jayvik ship (happy for you guys). I know they are excited, but this is not Viktor's story. You see, Viktor doesn't have his own personal story now, he's too connected to Jayce. You could say he did everything and nothing at the same time. Because he keeps running this time loop, but he's running it because of Jayce's influence.
Waiting for his updated lore to readâŠ.. idk I'll read it and forget it like a bad dream.
#viktor arcane#viktor#arcane#arcane spoilers#sky young#sky arcane#machine herald#animation is nice but not the story#I'll buy the artbook and that's it#I guess....#arcane s2
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Why does the intro end with Jayce and not the sisters?
Pardon my shitty screenshots. I know I already made a post about the weird things in the intro, but there's even more that I didn't include in that post, and most of it is weird as HELL stuff with Jayce. This whole intro sequence has been weird as hell and I love it.
(I'll put it here since I'm not going to mention it later, but Ekko's first scene in the intro has his shadow as a clock ticking counterclockwise and I love it, but I won't talk about it again since we all pretty much know what that means.)
Last season's intro ended with our two lead women at each other's throats. That's no surprise. The whole show is about them. This one, though, ends with Jayce, a supporting member of the main cast. Matter of fact, he shows up a lot in this intro.
In my other post, I mentioned how his scene in the intro is eerily reminiscent of the moment he met Mel (other than the Council trial) when she shined a flashlight in his and Viktor's eyes in the hallway.
Could this be an indicator that he is once again meeting someone new who will change his life forever? Or could it be a reintroduction to someone he already knows? It could easily be Mel again, maybe after she's discovered and learned to control her magic? It seems like she wasn't aware of her powers until now. Considering how much the animators love to compare Mel with Viktor, it could just as easily be Viktor after he's gone full Machine Herald. They've already met again in the commune, but maybe they'll meet again when Viktor is more mechanical and Jayce is more... how do I put it politely... sane.
The light in front of Jayce's hand appears twice more, but something tells me it's a different light. Has the light evolved or is it a different light altogether?
This comes right after Mel on the lounge chair looking at the black rose and right before Viktor putting on the mask (we'll get to that). It is SO much brighter than before, less like a flashlight and more like a spotlight. Jayce's arm is more outstretched, too. It's less reminiscent of the hallway and more reminiscent of the moment he stepped onstage for the Progress Day speech. Bright, burning spotlights that he flinched at. Arm outstretched not only to block the light, but to wave at an audience.
The light and pose when he ends the intro also has these qualities.
I know it's a reach, but nothing is ever fucking reaching with this goddamned show.
So what does this mean?? Is it symbolic of the presence of magic in his life? Once a light in the dark, the path to success -- now burning, all-consuming? Is this another hubris metaphor??? I'm so tired of hubris metaphors. Let Man become God!
Seriously, what do you guys make of this? Because I have no clue. I have negative clues. Everything I see only opens new questions.
Okay, on to the Jayvik amalgam. :D
Who. The fuck. Is this.
Two pics since the camera rotates a bit and idk if the slightly different angle helps at all.
If you look at it from far away, the eyebrow ridge and nose resemble Jayce. If you peer closer, the eyebrow ridge looks more like Viktor's, but the nose still seems like Jayce. This person also looks to be at a healthy weight and has thick thighs, also qualities that Viktor unfortunately does possess. I want to say the hand also looks like Jayce's, but it's hard to tell. The lighting also makes it hard to determine their skin color. All in all, everything about this scene would suggest that the figure is Viktor except for the figure itself.
My gut instinct had me thinking it was Jayce the very first time I saw this intro, but then Viktor showed up with his blanket and mask later in the song and has been in said blanket for most of the show. The lack of purple limbs doesn't mean anything since the sisters also lost their tattoos, Mel lost her gold, and Ekko lost his face paint too.
And then we have this shot. Whose hand is that? NOT FUCKING VIKTOR'S.
That's Jayce's hand putting Viktor's mask on him. The hand looks like it fits naturally on Viktor's arm.
This could mean that Viktor will be wearing his mask because of Jayce. Partly in a "you see me as a villain, so a villain I will be" kind of way, but maybe also in a self-fulfilling time loops sort of way.
It's obvious that we're not supposed to be able to tell Viktor and Jayce apart in this intro. I even saw someone suggest that the animators made a whole new 3D model that was a mix of them both to be able to get the effect across. They might have also made one for Viktor with Jayce's hand.
This is basically saying that Jayce and Viktor are so deeply intertwined that they can't even be told apart. That's really ironic considering how different and divided they are right now. Could this imply that they'll end up back on the same side by the end?
#jayce this season makes me crazy#he's almost taking up more brain space than viktor at this point and I can't be having that#and he hasn't even had much screen time#what do you mean this post is Jayvik propaganda#it's clear as day that they cannot exist without each other#no that doesn't sound weird at all#arcane intro#arcane theory#arcane speculation#arcane season 2#arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane#viktor#jayvik#analysis#citrus post
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Hiya đđ»
Itâs not really a kinktober request, but maybe youâll consider doing it? No pressure though))
Ajaf era James, where he was drinking a lot. He understands that that affects him and turns him into a monster. Heâs afraid heâs going to hurt reader, but he canât break up with her for her safety, he loves her too much. So he comes up with stupid plan of making her break up with him because of his behavior? So he starts to undermine her efforts, e.g. the meals she cooks âcould have been betterâ; makes fun of her simple 9-5 job , saying thatâs she lucky she can have a relaxed job cause heâs earning most of the money and covering the bills. Although sheâs hurt, she is staying as she loves him and thinks itâs the alcohol talking. James, realizing his plan doesnât work, makes the final move: after they have sex one evening, he tells her that groupies do a much better job. Thatâs too much for her to take so she leaves him.
Unfortunately, after break up he feels even worse. Lars is worried so he interrogates him, and drunken James confesses. So Lars finds reader and locks her in the studio with James for them to reconcile (can we have smut here)?
Few weeks later when they start recording black album, James plays her a song (which will become nothing else matters), saying that itâs his way of telling everyone how much she means to him?
Iâm sorry I canât write short asks đ„Čđ„Čïżœïżœđ„č
You are a great writer so I really hope this will become a story đđ»
hihi!
and omg its here. took me 9 days to write it lmao but yeah
i cant explain how much I loved this idea pls marry me annon
also ~~~ means POV change (yes there is James and reader pov)
this fic has legit everything so I hope y'all enjoy it bc I busted my ass on it
some parts may be confusing idk
anyways
word count: 10623
warnings: mentions of achohol/drugs, death is mentioned, toxic relationship, break up, angst, smut, fluff, I'm prob forgetting smth
OR SO I THOUGHT (1989)
It had been a rough couple months with James. I felt determined to help him with his only worsening alcoholism, though he only continued to shut me out. I could feel the guilt when he was around, but it didn't make him stop. I tried, I really did, encouraging him to talk to me, to help me help him.Â
It was the same sad scene every night. James would come home, probably around midnight, and I couldn't sleep without him next to me, so I was up, all those hours, wondering as I tossed and turned as to where he might be. All I knew is I was in for a scary time when he got back, but I eventually grew tough skin to deal with this. Understood that this wasn't safe for me, or him, and I stressed that so, so much to him, but James never understood. Well, he never told me he did. Maybe there was more going on in his heart I never knew about. But, of course, I could never discover as he would always close himself off so much.
It was another day where the cycle would repeat. I woke up at three am to the sound of James stumbling in, mumbling something under his breath before he plopped down on the bed beside me, and I knew well enough to hold my tongue, to not provoke him. I pretended I was asleep, which he believed, trying, or at least I think he was trying, to snuggly up next to me, but he had his back to me. His arms weren't around me. Maybe that's all I yearn for now, to be loved and held.
Once I could finally go back to sleep, I was awoken not much later by the sound of my blaring alarm. It was seven am, time to get ready for work. James is a heavy sleeper, he never woke up from my alarms, though I always rushed to turn them off, just in case they would wake him. Slipping out of bed with a groan, I observed his sprawled out body, his shoes still on. I'm glad he made it to the bed this night, as others he would end up on the couch, or in his car, or somewhere I had no idea of.
I pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, like a mother caring for her ill son on a school day. I slipped off his shoes, trying to get him more comfortable. I scurried towards the closet to grab my work clothes for the day before getting changed in the bathroom and rummaging through our medicine cabinet, finding some pain killers and then getting him a cold glass of water, leaving the items on our bedside table. I paused to watch over him as he slept, his slow, steady breaths that rose and fell from his chest. I loved him too much to change this lifestyle. I loved every part of him, and if this was part of him, then so be it. I'll help him get better. He loves every part of me, no matter what, right?
Or so I thought.
I slipped on my heels, walking into our messy kitchen, the sink filled with unwashed dishes James was supposed to do. But, he isn't well, so I must do them for him. After washing the dishes, I brewed coffee, poured myself a cup and left some for him and began to make breakfast. James had been off lately, different to how he already was off, but that slowly became part of our normal, so one new change did not stick out too much, but this one did. I don't know what it is. He just felt⊠lifeless, cold, I guess. I decided to make one of his favorite breakfast meals, a nice, warm and fluffy stack of pancakes with eggs and bacon, cooked just the way he liked it. I spent extra time trying to make it the best I had. I knew they would probably be cold by the time he woke up, but hopefully he'd appreciate my effort. I ate some eggs before scrambling for a notepad, getting a pen to write him a sweet good morning note, explaining I was at work, when I'd be home, how much I loved him, and where the other meds were if he needed them. I wrote these notes almost daily, but this one I made longer and more love filled. I figured he would want my love.
Or so I thought.
I came home around six pm, the evening traffic being worse than usual. Instead of seeing James' car out of the driveway and the house dark, he was still home. The soft sound of the TV buzzing was easy to hear as I unlocked the door, walking in to see him on the couch, leaning against the couch arm and holding his head up with his hand. He was too engrossed in whatever he was watching to nice me walk in, so I tried to have him notice my presence.
âIm back, Jamie,â I said softly to not startle him, my voice filled with love as I moved to sit next to him, he looked over at me, like a confused puppy. âHow are you feeling?â I asked, gently stroking his back, though he moved from my touch.
âOh, hi. Yeah, I'm fine. Busy right now, yeah?â He mumbled as a response as he resumed watching TV once more, brushing me off with his simple, cold words. I knew I had to respect his space and not probe at him, so I just nodded with a sigh and got up, slipping off my shoes and setting my bags down,
âAre you hungry?â I asked, digging through the fridge to get things to make dinner. He didn't answer. âJames, are you hungry? I can make dinner,â I offered again, noticing the cleared plate that I had made him for breakfast, the note missing. I assumed he threw it away, just like the others. I never saw them in the trash cans, but after everything piles up, you can just assume. I heard James sigh from the couch, âUh, yeah, sure, whatever. Breakfast was cold, so I threw most of it away anyways,â He admitted, and I felt a small ache in my heart. I thought he liked the dish since there was none left on his plate, but clearly he proved me different. Why I even put effort in these things, I don't know. THats a lie, I do. I love him, and want him to know it, to feel it. I shouldâve been doing this as part of my own insecurities, but to make sure he knows I'm there for him, always.
I thought of what to make for dinner, seeing if he had eaten anything since breakfast, only finding empty beer bottles and a half eaten bag of chips. It was probably only the alcohol making him act like this. I decided to make steak with potatoes, something he normally liked and said I made pretty well. It was easy to make, and I know it was one of his favorites I made him, but normally I would wait for a bigger step in life, like celebrating something about the band, or something in my career, but I knew he deserved it still.
I finished after 45 minutes, preparing the plate to be gorgeous, something I wish I could hear from his lips for once. But, he loved me. I know he thinks I'm gorgeous, he wouldn't have to tell me. Right?
âJamie, the food's ready, I made steak,â I said warmly with a smile, setting a dinner table for us. I didn't get a response, just a grunt as he stood from the couch and walked his near empty bottle of beer, finishing it off and grabbing another from the fridge. I sat at the table, waiting for him to come and join me. His eyes landed on the plate, pulling out the chair to sit down. I couldn't read his emotions, he didn't look too happy, but he didn't look mad. He just looked.. plain. James grabbed his fork and began to eat, the metal scraping against the porcelain plate, waiting for his nod of approval. It never came. He didn't talk, but not in a way like he was mad. He just didn't speak. But he didn't need to, he didn't need to say the things I knew already. I took a breath and began to eat, and it might've been one of the best I had cooked in awhile. Perfect tenderness, juiciness, seasoning, and cooked perfectly, something you could get at a restaurant, now in our home.Â
âWhat do you think, baby? I think it's pretty good, no?â I inquired, seeking the validation I craved from him. He just shrugged.
âIt's fine, I guess. It could've been better.â
It shouldn't have hurt. It really shouldn't. He just didn't like the dinner I cooked. The dinner I poured my time into. The dinner I made was special. Special for him. But, what did I know? I doubt he meant it. That's why it definitely shouldn't have hurt. He was drinking. ITs just the alcohol making him act like this. He would never say something like that to me. Why did tears prick at my eyes. Why did it actually hurt?
âOh, uhmâŠ. I'm sorry, I'll do better next time, do you want me to make you something else..?â I choked out, fighting back my tears.
âNo, don't waste your time making something mediocre, yeah?â James insisted, insulting me bitterly once again.
I took a shaky breath, another sting to my heart. Hes. Drunk. This can't be what he means, right?
Or so I thought.
âAlright, uh, do you wanna cuddle on the couch..? We can watch anything you want? Or not watch anything, just sit together.â I offered again, pleading to get love from my partner.
âI was probably gonna go to bed. You mind cleaning up?â He pushed me away again, and every word stung. I want him to see me, to notice me, just to love me. But I reminded myself again and again, he's drunk, he doesn't mean it, he doesn't mean it. I'm just being sensitive and pathetic. Maybe it's just my hormones.
I nodded, forcing a smile, âSure, yeah, go ahead and go to bed, I'll clean up and join you in a bit, ok?â I informed him and he just nodded and got up, walking to the bedroom, still carrying his battle with him. My eyes stung, and once he was out of sight, I felt tears streak my face, but I continued to fight them away. I quickly got up to clear Jamesâ and my own plate, then cleaning the kitchen, washing everything with great care to keep it tidy.
I came into the bedroom, James half asleep under the sheets. His hair was astray as he slept near the edge, his limbs tight together. The now empty beer bottle sat on the nightstand, another reminder of Jamesâ habits. I glanced around before getting changed into my sleep clothes, a nice little night dress James had gotten me for Valentines Day earlier that year. It was nice and pink with some fluffy pieces at the bottom and lace dancing across it. It flowed nicely and hugged my body in the right places, going down to a bit above my knees. It had some other pieces, like stockings and a garter. In reality, it was more so lingerie than a bed set. But, it was one of Jamesâ favorites for me to wear. Maybe this would make him open up more, or just show me the love I'm craving. I crawled in beside him, though I doubt he noticed the weight accompanying him, trying to cuddle closer, pressing myself against his back.
âJamie?â I asked softly, kissing the back of his head.
âHm.â James answered in a sleepy tone, barely aware of my presence.
âYou doing ok? You've been acting differentlyâŠâ I kept a quiet tone, my hands gently running down his arms and back as I pondered on what may be hurting him so much.
He took a deep and large breath, sighing, âYeah, I'm fine⊠why do you ask..?â James mumbled in response.
âNothing, you just seem off, I guess,â I rushed out. I didn't want to upset him, but he just seemed so soft and sweet, something I hadn't seen from him awhile.
âOh, well, alright then⊠love you..â He mumbled out, slowly succumbing to sleep after saying the words I knew were true.
Or so I thought.
The office today was exhausting. Absurdly exhausting. And infuriating. A stuck up and snotty boss whos full of himself ordering me around to do his mundane dirty work, my co workers giving me side glances of judgment for my more rushed than normal appearance, not having as much time this morning as I had to help James with yet another hangover, getting him to the bathroom in time before he painted our bed green in vomit, making him some foods to keep him comfortable and having to buy more pain killers, my 3rd trip this month, all before heading to work. All I wanted was to come home, sleep, relax, and be held by the love of my life.Â
As simple as an office job 9-5 may seem, how it is not. No one else wants to do their own work, always needing some kind of assistance, and of course, I none the wiser, agree to help them.
It was another late evening with heavy traffic, not allowing me to come home until seven, again. I had stopped at the market, grabbing food and other supplies we were running low on. And more beer.Â
The door to the house was locked, something that had been happening more and more as I came home, only growing worries on James' worsening habits, the idea of drugs coming to mind, but I tried to shake it from my head, just wanting a nice time at home.Â
I unlocked the door, the house quiet except for the soft strum of a guitar in Jamesâ mini studio, which was just an extra bedroom we had turned into a spot for him to store his instruments and for his practeing. We hoped one day for it to become a nursery, a room for our future child.
I followed the music, the half open door allowing me to peek at James, hunched over one of his explorers, fiddling with the strings as he danced around the fretboard with his talented fingers. I smiled at the sweet sight, slowly entering the room.
âWhatcha working on?â I asked, announcing my arrival home. James looked up at me, at first a smile on his face, but he quickly dropped it. His actions only confused me further.
âUhm, not much, just⊠a couple riffs and stuff for the new album..â He answered, still picking at the strings with something unreadable in his eyes.
I nodded, smiling at him, âIt sounds good, I'm excited to hear it,â I responded before speaking again, âWork was so exhausting today, I don't know how I put up with it anymore,â I said with a laughy sigh, trying to lighten the statement.
James just shrugged. âI mean, I don't really see how a nine to five can really be that tiring,â He disputed, but his tone sounded unsure, shaky like how it did when we first met. But there was a force, an anger of some kind.
I was even more lost with his shift in attitude, âWell, what do you mean? You don't work one, you wouldn't know,â I argued back with more aggression than I meant.
âYeah, I don't work one. Your job is light and relaxing feather work compared to the shit I do. You are out doing twelve hours a day for months on end at a studio, being out for a year just to tour and shit, you don't make anything working that job, I'm the one paying the bills with my money.â James spat, cold and bitter. His words rung in my ears, repeating each syllable like a painful stab. My brain scrambled for reasons to understand his reaction and response to my complaint of work.
James' piercing blue eyes still starred up and me, my mouth agape in shock. Why would he act like this? He loved me. He just told me he did the other week before we went to bed. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. What is wrong in his life that I don't know about, that he wont tell me about.
My eyes scanned the room, searching for anything that might explain this behavior of his. Truly, anything that would help explain such a swift and sudden change in his mood, but deep down ZI knew, I was just looking for bottles, cans, cups, glasses, anything that would contain the fizzy and bitter liquid he loved. The only thing I could find was a half empty bottle, freshly opened next to the chair he sat in. That's it, that's why he's acting like this. He's just drunk. He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it.
Or so I thought.
Even with my new found reasoning, his words still hurt a great amount, the pain struggling to leave. A simple insult, just telling me how I don't work as hard as him, that my job isn't as crucial as his. I took a breath, trying to control and reign in my emotions before I could meltdown in front of him for such a stupid reason. Drunken words, not filled or backed by any true thoughts. Right?
But they do say drunk words are sober thoughts.
âI- well,â I tried to speak, but I couldn't come up with the words. What would I say? I didn't want to make him any more upset than he seemed to be, but I didn't want to submit to him so easily, especially after such disrespect. But I knew better. I don't lash out, I keep him happy. We will work this out together, we have to.
âI'm just gonna go to bed,â I muttered under my breath, fighting back tears that needed to spill out, James rude comments only adding fuel to the fire that had been burning in me all day. Not a fire of anger, passion or desire, but a fire of hurt. Once I shut the bedroom door behind me silently, I broke. The bottle shattered, and my tears overflowed my face, covering my mouth as I cried, trying to calm myself down as I got ready for bed at such an early hour, even forgetting to make James something for dinner.
It was my day off, a relaxing Saturday I could use to have some me time, as James was gonna be out with the band all day as the brainstormed for the new album, which was still taking its baby steps into production, nowhere near any concept for songs yet. At Least that I knew of.Â
James had been really tense this week, and I had tried everything to get him to relax and cheer up. Taking him out to his favorite restaurants after I came home, making him home cooked meals, getting him gifts and all things. Though there was one thing I hadn't tried. Sex.
I spent all day dolling myself up, wanting to be as bare and beautiful as possible for James. I shaved everywhere, leaving not a single trace of hair anywhere except for my head,, of course. I scrubbed every nook and cranny of my body, putting on Jamesâ favorite set we bought together, doing my makeup just the way he liked it, lighting the candles he got for my birthday, and dousing myself in his favorite perfume I owned. All the lights were out, except for the lowlights of the candles in the bedroom. I laid on the mattress, waiting for James to come home, hoping this would finally get him to unwind from his stress.
I heard Jamesâ keys jingle in the door, and I could feel myself getting more and more excited for his arrival. This would be one of the few times I would have him sober, as when they worked on material they rarely drank or did anything crazy, thankfully. His shoes thudded on the wooden floors, a sigh escaping his lips as I heard him slowly walk towards the bedroom.
âAre you home?â He called out to me before approaching the bedroom door, taking in the sight of me and the room I had spent the evening preparing for this moment.
âHey baby,â I mused with a smirk, looking up at him with loving eyes. His eyes met mine, looking warm for the first time in awhile.
âWhat's all this for?â He asked, still taking in the well decorated bedroom and my sexy form.
âWanted to help you relax⊠you've been so stressed,â I replied, grabbing his hand to try and bring him closer, to get into the bed with me.
It didn't take much more conniving, and James had given in pretty quickly to my offer. He was being more loud than normal, probably because we hadn't had the chance to be intimate like this in awhile. I loved this so much. Well, I loved being close to James again. He wasn't hitting the right spots or focussing on pleasuring me much, but that's fine, he's the one who needed to relax anyways, and I have enough time on my hands if I wanted to please myself, I guess. It didn't take long for him to come, pulling out and painting himself on my abdomen and my breath labored, coming down fromâŠ. Well, not an orgasm, but being close to one. James was beat after that, and I don't blame him for that. He had been so busy recently, I was happy we just got to share a moment like this together again.Â
I laid close to him under the sheets as we both recovered, James already half asleep. I had his hand in mine, kissing each knuckle of his and more, pouting all of my love into that moment. I looked up, having felt Jamesâ eyes on me for a while. I met his blues, and there was a slight guilt in them, a gestation and regret. But, it didn't last long as he blinked it all away, taking another breath.Â
âHow are you feeling now? Did it make it any better?â I asked, my voice heavy with sleep as I lazily continued to press kisses to his hand.
âI mean, yeah, I guess⊠It wasn't like, amazing though⊠I've had better, normally the groupies can do a bit more than that, yâknow?â James said cooly, acting as if the words he just said didn't mean anything and had no weight to them.
âWhat?â Was all I could muster out, the tears already filling my eyes as I tried to process all of this.
âYou heard me, the groupies normally do better.âÂ
The words came so normally from his mouth, as if he was just telling me the date and time. But no, he was comparing me to prostitutes, previous women he has slept with. I began to cry, not just out of hurt and sadness, but this time anger. How could he say something like that to me?
And then the worst part hit.
He was sober.
Something I would've wanted more than anything else just a few days ago is now what is causing this experience to be even worse than it is with the horrible comparison and insults James had spewn at me. He meant it. Alcohol was toying with his brain, making him into the aggravated man I had grown to know quite well over the years.
âAre⊠are you serious? After everything? I put myself through hell to deal with this, to go to work, to do EVERYTHING for you! I have tried so hard James. And Yet you still compare me to them?! Sluts with prices on their heads?!â I cried, anger and hurt filling the fire in my eyes, and I could swear I saw Jamw\esâ cold attitude falter for just a moment. Maybe it was what I was hoping for, that it was all an act, that he truly did love me deep down, but maybe he didn't. Maybe this is the truth I had been hiding from all these months.
James didn't res;ond, just sighing with a shrug.
That's what pushed me over the edge.
âAre you fucki ng serious? You're not even gonna try and fight for this? Get out of here! We're done. Since you don't appreciate anything I do for you nowadays, I don't want you in here anymore. Pack your shit and leave.â I cursed at him as I continued to sob, processing the moments that passed, feeling as if the earth was slowing, each second hitting me hard and heavy.
I could see a slight guilt in Jamesâ eyes, and as much I wanted to believe it was true, I couldn't give it in myself to do that anymore. I couldn't keep living this lie. He nodded, staying silent as I cried, slipping on his clothes and grabbing some things he'd need for the night.
âI loved you because you loved me, or so I thought you loved me, truly you don't give a shit!â I called out again, hearing James breath hitch at my harsh words, but he just left. No goodbye, the final words spoken to us only filled with hate and hurt, though millions went unspoken.
â â- â â> A FEW MONTHS LATERâŠ
Not a lot has happened since I broke up with James, but a lot has changed. Maybe for the better. I miss him terribly, but a lot of weight is off of my shoulders now. I'm no longer worrying about having to make elaborate meals for him, or to do everything in my power to make him happy as [possible, watching my words at all times to make sure I wont say anything that might upset him. It was a large change. The house is still cold like how it was with him, but its a different kind of cold. There is no warmth of another body. Its quiet, no more TV static and laughter or guitar. Work had only gotten more tiring, but I had recently gotten promoted, something I had wanted for a long, long time.
I haven't spoken to James since we broke up. I know he had come by the next day, as when he left that night he only took clothes to last him the night, and when I came home from work, all of his belongings were gone, and his spare key was left on the counter, all of his music gear out of the house, leaving me a now empty room, not to house his guitars, and no longer holding the hopes and dreams of a future child.
Or so I thought all of his stuff was gone.
I came home after work, the house dark and silent, turning on the lights before going into the former music room, which had now become my office for the time being, as I needed one for the promotion, to be able to have a comfortable spot where I could do other work tasks from home. I set down my purse, sitting in my computer chair and sliding off my heels. I saw something in the corner of my eye, something that somehow had never caught my eye all these months.Â
An ashtray, repurposed to hold Jamesâ many guitar picks. It was behind a lamp that was in the corner of the room on an end table. There was more than just guitar pics, but one of his rings. Like the ones he always wore on stage, the cool reflective metal that shone brightly under the spotlight. I paused, only having gotten one heel off, so confused as to how I never noticed. I sat in this same chair, facing the same direction, taking my heels off the same each day. I quickly got the other off before walking towards the table, picking up the ashtray, having remnants of cigarette butts and ash, some of which covered the pics. There had to be at least 20 of those pics, I don't know how James could forget such a thing, along with one of his more favorite rings. He wore it when we met, but I never made the connection as to that being the reason he left it. I missed him, yes, but having these almost made it worse. Like the world was teasing me that he is gone, that I won't be able to be held by him again, because he doesnt love me anymore. How I still love him, I don't know. Part of me still wants to believe he never meant any of it, but the chances of that being true is slim now. But, I didn't have the heart to call him, to return them to him. He would have come to get them by now, right?Â
I picked up the cold metal, holding it in my hand before slipping it on my ring finger. It was too large, slipping off quite easily. I tried the next, my middle finger, and it fit well enough to not fall off. It felt so wrong to wear, but it made me feel closer to him. I hated it, but I loved it. A little piece of him to be with me always. âGod, I sound like a wife mourning her husband who died in a war.â Was all I could think to myself, setting back down the ash tray and taking off the ring before sitting back down in my office chair, trying to shake my head of the matter so I could focus on the important task at hand, work.
I spent about two hours on the assignment before finishing it among other things, now exhausted even further. I stumbled towards the bedroom, changing into my pajama pants and a sleep shirt. Since the break up, I have refused to wear or even look at the clothes sJames had bought me. I didn't feel any desire to wear those things now that I knew he would be the one to see me in them. I never really wanted to wear clothes like that, but knowing he liked it made me like it. Now that he's gone, so is that enjoyment. I layed down on the mattress, sinking down as it swallowed me and the day whole. I had gotten used to the loneliness of sleeping alone, even after having a body next to me for the last four years. Maybe it was an easier adjustment as towards the end it was like sleeping next to no one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The last few months are hard to describe. I can't explain it, I really can't. I've never been more lonely in my life, drowning all of my sorrows in the bitter bottles that wasted away each night and day. I've tried putting my energy elsewhere, focusing more on the band than I was earlier, trying to pour my emotions into guitar and lyrics, but nothing works. Nothing matches what I once had. What I threw away. What I ruined. Though, all my life, through all my struggles, there was one thing I learned.
Mask your emotions, hide your turmoil. It's something I had quickly gotten good at from a young age.
Or so I thought.
I went out for drinks with Lars to discuss lyrics and other parts of music for the record, as we normally had for our other productions and everything. We had another few weeks before we went into the studio, where we planned to record for many months, wanting this release to be the best we ever had.Â
Before I had even gone out to the bar with Lars, I had already had a few bars at home, or what I had tried to make into my home. It was a home, yeah, but it didn't feel homey. There was no warmth or touch to it to make it seem whimsical or joyful. I know I have a problem, but what is there I can do.Â
When I got there, Larsâs car was already outside, and I knew I was late by thirty minutes, having to build up the motivation to leave the house for a reason other than food, so trying to get up and socialize and talk about important stuff was not on my top choices to do.
I trudged in, my eyes darting around for the Danish, who was never that hard to find. And as I expected, I found him somewhat quickly, taking a seat next to him and ordering a drink for myself.
âHey man, where the fock have you been? Been waiting here ages for ya,â Lars commented with his laugh, sipping on his own drink.
I just shrugged, âSorry man, there was justâŠâ I tried to think of a reasonable excuse, but none could come to mind. âTraffic, yâknow, it gets bad around five or six, all those people getting off of work,â I explained, thinking I was an expert at this facade.
âAlright, whatever you say. Let's get to work now, yeah?â Lars tried to believe me, but it was clear he knew there was something more to what I said.Â
I just nodded, âYeah,â I answered, and Lars took out his notepad where he already had some ideas for songs. The mask was as strong as stone, no way to see in.
Or so I thought.
 Lars looked back to me, a thought popping back in his mind, âTraffic? There's normally not much in this area, I mean before you moved out of that place, shit, traffic was bad, but here? No way,â Lars questioned me, no longer believing a word I had said.Â
âWell, I guess it was just different todayâŠâ I muttered, âLet's just start now, leave it be,â. Lars agreed reluctantly, and soon we were sharing ideas sas I jotted down lyrics, Lars taking turns as we debated on the new project.
Of course, as we worked, we were drinking. Me more than him, and it was getting me tipsy, and then drunk. Normally we wouldn't get drunk during lyric writing, just a bit.. Wobbly, I guess. We were just reviewing the lyrics for the third song we were jotting up and I had ordered another drink.
âJesus man, you only focused on drinking? We got shit to do!â Lars complained to me, and I just shrugged. âSorry, got my priorities hereâŠâ I joked, and Lars only gave a pity laugh.
âIs something up? You've been acting weird as hell for the last few months. We barely see you anymore, and when we do, you're late.â He informed me firmly, clearly not wanting to put up with my demeanor much longer.
âI'm fine, didn't I already tell you that?â I responded, and at this point I just wanted to go home. âWell, you can tell me it a million fuckinâ times and that doesnyt mean Ill believe you,â He rebuttled, and I sighed. âSo, what's up with you?â
I didn't want to answer, well sober me would've deflected. But drunk me? He doesn't have much of a filter. Who does when they're drunk anyways?
âNothings up with me, just dealing with shitâŠâ I answered, taking another sip of my drink.
âOk, well dealing with what?âÂ
âThe breakup, and everything,â I answered, my eyes avoiding Larsâs own.
âOhh, yeah, I see. What happened anyways? You never went into detail, just saying she kicked you out in the middle of the night. The fuck did you do to her?â He laughed, but the sting of the memories still remained.
âI.. well, I told her she was a shit cook, lazy, didnt work as hard me, and that groupies fuck better,â I admitted. Lars' face changed from a small smile to a look of shock.
âAre you serious?â
âYeahâ
âWhat would make you say something like that?! That's totally messed up!â I knew this would be shocking, especially coming from me to say something like that. But I didn't expect him to be this shocked.
âNo, I did it for a reason, I'm not just some asshole! I didn't want to break up with her, and I didnt want her to break up with me, but I knew I had to get her to break up with me. I keep drinking, and it makes me into⊠I don't know, I'm a different person and I don't want to hurt her. The only option was to force her to break up with me.â I tried to explain, but Lars was quick to respond.
âOnly option?! Have you heard of rehab? Getting help? Did she just let you waste away?â
âI didn't want to go to rehab either, and no, she did try to help, but I don't want helpâŠâ It was getting embarrassing at this point, showing how weak I had become.
âJames, not everything is about what you want! There's things you need to do, but you don't want to. Those are just as important.â He paused, hoping my worlds would process through me as he thought of an idea. âHow about this, clean up your act a bit and I'll get her back over here and you can go back to paradise, alright?â Lars offered and I perked up a bit.
âHow the hell do you expect her to come back to me after all of that?â
âI never said she'd come back to you, I said I can get her over here, make you guys talk or something.â He corrected me, and I just rolled my eyes.
âWell how are you gonna get her to come here? She probably hates me at this point,âÂ
âI have my ways, we were closer friends than you probably remember,â Larsâ words didn't help. He could never explain his plan, and that's what always ticked me off about him.
âFine, whatever, work your midget magic or something,â I muttered under my breath.
âWhat did you just say to me?âÂ
âNothing, nothing, just do whatever it is, alright?âÂ
âFine.â
â â â â > A WEEK LATERâŠ
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time moves slow these days. But not in a bad way, it was nice that life was hitting the breaks a bit instead of the pedal. Though, that joy wouldn't last long.
I sat in my office chair at work, working on some papers my boss had handed me a few minutes ago. He was giving me stack after stack after stack of papers today, all coming with my promotion I got a bit back. More money means more work, and more work means more money, so I guess it isn't all too bad in the long run. I glanced up from my paper, eyeing the now double repurposed ashtray, one being made for the intents of cigarette butts, then guitar pics, and now it held my keys and some other trinkets, including one singular guitar pic of James, one of his favorites.Â
I was startled out of my thoughts by hearing the office phone ring, quickly reaching to grab it, assuming it was a customer call.
âHi, this is Capital Advisors, how can I help you?â I offered in a cheery tone, but the voice I heard response was not what I had expected.
âHey man, look, it's Lars, something happened to James, you mind heading down to the studio?â
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Sure, Lars and I were close, but we haven't talked much since James and Iâs break up. My words caught in my throat, processing the second half. âSomething happened to James? What happened? Is he ok?â Even though he proved himself worthy of a break up, I still couldn't shake my love and worry for him.
âUhhhh, yeah, no, sure he's fine, but you just needa come to the studio?â Lars rambled, not sure how to keep up his lie.
âOk, yeah, of course, when do I need to be there?â My mind was racing, Lars wasn't being direct with what happened, so my mind could only think of the worst. He always poland things off to make them not seem as bad as they were. What if James fell and hurt himself? Overdosed on something? Only darker thoughts hit my mind.
âLike, now, this can't wait,â Lars demanded, and I had no choice but to agree.
âYeah, I will be there as soon as I can, ok? Tell him Iâll be there soon, I don't want him to worry,â I gave in and then Lars thanked me and hung up.Â
Now I don't know what to do. My boss wasn't the type of person to just let me leave whenever I want, and I had already promised to Lars I would be there immediately. Though, my worries got the best of me and I quickly began to gather my stuff together. I grabbed my keys and my purse, quickly heading to my boss's office.Â
I always hated going in here, it was freezing since the AC was always blasted, and it reeked of musty air freshener. I gently knocked on the door before I heard his baritone voice respond, telling me to come in. I entered, seeing him sitting there, filing papers.Â
âCan I help you?â He said in a monotone voice, opening and shutting cabinets.
âYes, I need to leave, like right now. ITs an emergency, family matter,â I tried to briefly explain, but it didn't take long for him to come up with a new response.
âEmergency? Of what? Is someone dying?â His eyes looked up from his papers, meeting mine as he waited for an answer.
âI⊠Well, I don't know,â I muttered, and it was true, I really didn't. With Larsâ vagueness, I tru;y didn't have a reason to not assume James was already on his deathbed.
âHow can you not know?â He questioned me as if I was stupid, then noticing my pale and shaky look of true worry, âFine, yes, you can go, but you're leaving three hours early. I want you working those hours back tomorrow. Understood?â He finally made an offer, and I quickly accepted without hesitation.
âYes, thank you, and I'm sorry,â I responded with a smile and a nod, quickly leaving the office and getting to my car as fast as possible. Lars never specified where exactly the studio was, but I had been there a few times with James to hear them practice and record. I did my best to remember the way there, speeding in some places and having to make a couple U turns to figure out the exact spot. The whole time my head was buzzing, I could not think of one normal reason as to why James would want me there. He clearly didnât like me much towards the end, even though I still like to think he never meant it and that it was only the alcohol talking, but I was probably wrong. Why did I still care so much after being so wrongfully disrespected? Part of me still loved him. Still wanted to wake up next to him every morning, hear the faint strumming of a guitar whenever I came home from work. Now those days were gone, and never looked like they would return. I still worried for the worst for James, endless horrid possibilities arising in my brain, all trying to piece the puzzle together.
When I finally pulled up, I saw two other cars out in front, not seeing Jamesâ car, assuming Lars gave him a ride and KIrk giving Jason one. No cop cars or ambulances or fire trucks, so he isn't dying, or maybe they already left. Maybe I was too late?Â
I quickly got out of the car, almost running to the studio door, knocking until Lars came and opened it for me.
âHey! There you are, took ya long eno-â Lars was quickly cut off by my own anxieties.
âWhere is he? Is he ok? Was I not fast enough?â I quickly voiced out, my eyes darting around the inside and searching for him.
âYeah, relax. He's fine. He's inside-â
âIf he's fine then why did you make me come here from work?! I thought he was dying or something crazy,â I cut him off, questioning his efforts.
âNo, none of that, you worry too much. He just wants to talk with you,â Lars answered, and my previous worries and a new suspicion grew in me.
âJust want to talk? Last time I talked with him he was critiquing me! He hates me! He doesn't want anything to do with me!â I voiced the feelings that had been clawing at me for months, never having anyone to tell them to.
âOr so you think. Look, just talk to him, that's all this is, ok?â Lars grew tired of my attitude and clearly I would have to give in soon.
âI want to, I want to talk to him, but I doubt he wants to talk to me,â I responded, trying to further explain my hesitations.
âI just told you that he wants to talk to you! Go in there, please!â Lars pleaded with me, and I sighed, finally agreeing.
âOk, ok, I will,â I answered, beginning to head into the studio.
âThank you! He's just down the hall, in that room with the sound equipment and everything,â Lars informed me, and I followed him, seeing James hunched over a table, scribbling down on a piece of paper. My heart was racing now. I hadn't seen him since that night. I didn't know what I would say to him, I was worried what he would say to me.
Then he looked up at me.
His cold, piercing blue eyes, a newfound softness in them as our eyes met. I avoided his eyes, but felt his lingering on me. Lars guided me in, shutting the door behind himself, leaving us alone. I was unsure of what to say, my eyes lingering on the floor, hearing James set down his pen.
âUh⊠hiâŠâ He started, probably just as unsure as I was.
âHi,â I responded back shyly, avoiding his gaze, though I could still feel his own on me. The sound of footsteps approached me, instantly recognizing them as Jamesâ, and then I heard a click. Lars had locked us in here, now forced to talk.
âI.. I'm sorry, I really am,â He mumbled, and I looked up at him, seeing a true guilt in his eyes, âI wish I didn't do it, that I didn't say those things, that I didn't make you hurt so much like that⊠I shouldâve been much more, well, mature about it. I feel like shit for everything,â James explained to me, but this only caused me to have more and more questions. Â
âWhat do you mean?â I asked, my voice still a hushed whisper as a wave of various emotions crashed down on me. âI had reasons for what I did, I just wish I went about it differently. I wish I had listened to you when you had offered me help. I didn't want to hurt you with my habits, and I couldn't break up with you, I didn't want to be the one to do that, so⊠so I tried to make you break up with me, and you did. Everything I said, it was a lie. I never meant it. You're a great cook, you work hard, you're just⊠you're amazing, you're too good for me.â James confessed, and I could feel a bit of the cold melt away, though still a hurt in my heart.
âThen why make me come and tell me all of this? This would only pour salt in that wound, no?â I was still confused at why he would make such an effort, but I still found it touching.
âBecause I still love you. I want things back the way they were. I swear on everything, I've changed. I miss you more than anything-â I cut him off with a sweet kiss to his lips, and he melted into me, wrapping his arms around me in a comforting and loving embrace.
After James pulled away, he looked me in my eyes, âHow could you forgive me for saying all of that to you?â He began, âId think you would just⊠hate me, I was a total jerk,â
âOr so you'd think. I still love you and miss you more than you could imagine,â I responded with a small smile, and James matched mine, kissing me again. âCan⊠can I show you how much I've missed you?â James asked in a mumbled tone, clearly a bit embarrassed. My cheeks heated up at his offer and I giggled, nodding as our lips met a third time, a new hunger and desire now displayed. Slowly, he walked me to the table until I had backed up into it, his hands trailing up my sides until we broke away, his lips now going down my neck, eliciting a needy whine from the back of my throat, my hands pulling him closer, snaking under his shirt to trace his skin.Â
Jamesâs fingers slipped under my shirt, working to get it off of my head, leaving my neck for only a second to remove the fabric before attaching himself to my sensitive flesh, feeling him suck and nibble, definitely leaving bruises. He gave a more harsh bite, causing me to whimper, then soothing it over with his tongue before pulling away. Soon his gaze focused on my breasts, still confined with my bra. His eyes met mine again, âCan I take it off?â He asked ,already reaching around my back to work on the clasp, which had become an easy task for him. I nodded, and soon the garment was now on the floor with my shirt. The cold air caused my nipples to erect immediately, and Jamesâ eyes were locked on them, cupping the in his hands as he squeezed them and pinched at my nipples, making me make high needy sounds, causing him to smirk, kissing around the soft flesh, teasing me with every movement he made.Â
I began to claw at his shirt, trying to take it off of him, so he reluctantly pulled away from my chest, removing his own shirt, giving me a view I had missed more than I care to admit. My eyes dragged slowly over the newly exposed skin, and his lips crashed down on mine again, pushing me back so far I was now laying down on the table, the cold wood causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. I tugged at Jamesâ pants, feeling myself grow wetter at the moment. He slipped down his pants, leaving him in only his boxers as you pulled down my skirt, leaving me in only my panties. I could see the bulge in his final layer grow at the new sight, and then he got on his knees, gripping the sides of my aunties and taking them off in a swift motion, leaving my glistening folds exposed to his hungry view.. His warm lips teased my thighs, kissing around the area I needed him most, making me writhe with desire. Eventually, his tongue found my center, giving it soft licks at first, parting my folds with his tongue. A moan escaped my throat, and James took it as his sign to keep going, burying his face between my thighs. He licked and sucked at my hole, probing at it with his tongue as his nose nudged my sensitive clit. My hand snaked into his long blonde locks, gripping his scalp tightly as I pulled him closer. I could hear him groan into my flesh, causing a vibration to coarse through me, making me moan again as I came closer to my first high. Eventually James moved further up, giving more attention to my aching clit, giving it gentle licks first to tease me before sucking it into his mouth, biting it softly, making me squeal from his ministrations.
âJamei, fuck, Im gonna cum,â I whined out, tugging on hair harder, causing him to let out another low groan as he continued to feast on me. âCum for me pretty girl,â He mumbled into my flesh, and like that my orgasm washed over me, a breathy moan falling my lips, feeling my core pulsate , releasing my grip on Jamesâ head, allowing him to pull back.
James chin was drenched in my essence and his spit, some caught in his facial hair, wiping it off on the back of his hand. I dont think Ive seen anything hotter. His eyes landed on mine, and I noticed a lustful darkness in them, kissing me again as our tongues tangled in a battle for dominance, James winning in the end, and soon his boxers were on the ground, both of us bare in front of each other again.
JAmes broke the kiss, trailing his lips down my neck, leaving new hickeys and bruises in his wake as they now peppered my neck. I felt his tip at my entrance and I squirmed, his lips leaving my bruised flesh. âYou ready, baby?â He asked, taking my hand in his, and I nodded, feeling him slowly push into me, the stretching sensation stinging my insides, a delicious stretch my body had missed as I tried to accommodate his size. Once he was to the hilt, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, squeezing his hand tightly.
I gave him a look of a need, and he gook note, slowly beginning to pump his hips, untwining our fingers as he positioned himself with better support, placing his arms on either side of my head. With every thrust a moan escaped my throat, tears pricking at my eyes from the pleasure. âFuck, youâre so tight⊠haven't had anything since me, hmmm?â James whispered to me, and I could only whine in response, his calloused fingers sneaking down to my clit, brushing the bud lightly with the pad of thumb, and I began to squirm around his cock, feeling his thrusts increase with speed, more grunts falling from James.
The table I laid on creaked beneath from our frevorus movements of need, completely forgetting we were still in the studio. The band was still in that studio. This room wasn't for recording, very little sound blockers. Anyone in this building could hear us. The thought didn't pass my mind once throughout the whole experience, only focused and becoming closer with James once again, not just in body, but in our connection reforming with every minstration from either of us.
James' thrusts grew relentless, only increasing the pleasure for both of us as he chased his own high, helping me with mine, continuing to toy with and stroke my clit, moans and whines leaving me with any movement he made. âSo pretty like this, baby, taking me so well,â He groaned, his small grunts and moans filling my ears like sweet music. I began to buck my hips, knowing that my orgasm was approaching, James not far behind, his vocal expression of pleasure growing in number and volume, mixing with my own mewls and moans, that and the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room, my nails clawing his back.
My eyes began to roll back, Jamesâ name falling from my lips a thousand times as my legs wrapped around his waist, trying to pull him deeper to finally bring me to edge. James noticed and thrusted harder, hitting that special spot with every movement, making me have to cover my mouth with my hand, the unholy noises escaping me growing too loud for us to stay secret. James disapproved, âMmmm, don't do that baby, let me hear you cum around my cock,â He cooed, and that was all the encouragement I needed to come over the edge, a high pitched moan coming from me, feeling my walls clamp down on Jamesâ length, pulsating as waves of pleasure cascaded over me. James helped me ride through it, still rubbing my sensitive nub, his thrusts losing rhythm as he approached his own high.
âFuck, sweetie, gonna cum inside youâŠâ He grunted, his pace increasing as his movement became erratic with pleasure. âTake it, take it like a good girl, baby,â He moaned, his load shooting deep inside of me and painting my walls white with his seed. His hips sputtered, bucking into me as he collapsed on top of me, our sweaty foreheads clinging together as we both recovered from the intense orgasms, trying to catch our breath. James pressed soft, lazy kisses around my face, reminding me how much he loved me and how he'd never hurt me again if given the chance.
After a moment, we both had come down from our highs, Jamesâ softening member sliding out of me with a pop. He looked down at the mess between my thighs, all evidence of our pleasure with each other. âYoure fuckinâ perfect,â He muttered, his eyes dragging over me.
âAre the groupies still better?â I teased him, remembering our bickering that was one real, or so I thought it was real fighting.
âOh, hell no, they don't stand a chance to this,â He responded with a smile, and I smiled back.
We cleaned up, slipping back on our clothes so we were somewhat presentable. Only now did the realization that we were never once alone in this studio and the rest of the band was outside had hit me. A wave of embarrassment flowed over me, my cheeks flushing even more than they were before given the previous activities. Both James and I looked quite disheveled, our hair a mess and clothes wrinkled. I tried to shake off whatever nervousness I had in me as James put his arm around me. We went to reach for the door handle, only to find out it was still locked. Now it would be even more awkward. James knocked on the door from the inside, calling out to Lars, or anyone else in the studio.
âGuys? Lars? Can someone unlock the door?â And it wasn't long before footsteps approached, hearing a key click as the door swung open, Lars, more curious than ever eyed both my own and Jamesâ appearance, noticing the hickeys, the slight wobble I gave, and any other imperfections that we might have displayed.
âI take it you two worked things out?â
â â â â > A FEW WEEKS LATERâŠ
It had taken some time, a lot of talking, and more than just one hook up for James and I to work out any other issues that we had with each other. We met up a lot in the recent weeks after that, discussing different ways on how to help James with his drinking, and just trying to regain eachothers trust.
Soon enough though, James had moved back in with me. I kept my office space, but now the room was split in two halves. I worked in one half, while James did his guitar work in the other half. It was a fairly large room, so we both had our own spaces and rarely bothered each other. If I had a work call or anything that required silence, James would just migrate to the living room.
It was the same old schedule we had all those months ago, and I was now returning from work. It was Friday, now I would have plenty of time to relax and be with James. I pulled into the driveway, parking and getting out of my car as I walked up to the porch, the click of my heels following my steps on the cement. The lights were on, the door unlocked. I could hear a faint strumming coming from inside, meaning James was hard at work on new material for the album. It was my favorite thing to listen to while doing work assignments at home.
I walked in with a huff, setting down my purse and keys on the counter before heading to the shared office space. James wasn't playing much, just sounded like scales and chords for his warm ups. âHow was work, baby?â James greeted me, still focused on his guitar. âIt was a bit tiring, but it was good. I think my boss is starting to like me,â I answered, settling into my chair. He nodded in response, going back to fiddling with the strings.
It wasn't until a little later a soft, sweet and melodic tune had hit my ears. Much different than what Metallica normally plates. James hummed along to it, almost like he had lyrics already written out. But knowing him, he probably did.
âWhat are you playing? It sounds really nice,â I started, listening to a few more notes before continuing, âIt's not what you guys normally play,â I commented, and James let out a deep hum in response. âJust something new I'm working on,â He replied, and I nodded, getting back to work.
Only this time, I couldn't focus. Normally Jamesâs music helped me to focus, becoming a comforting background noise. This time though, I couldn't get my mind off of that melody. He kept going, and each second I kept getting more and more captivated by it.Â
âThat songs really pretty, I like it,â I said, scribbling down whatever notes I couldnt on a piece of paper. âThanks, it's actually, uhm..â He trailed off, and I knew something was up. I spun around in my chair, going to face him. âIt's what?â I asked, confused by his shy demeanor.Â
âIt's called âNothing Else Mattersâ,â He stated, finally stopping picking at the strings. âNothing Else Matters?â I repeated, connecting whatever the lyrics might be in my head to the melody. Normally their slower, melodic songs were dark and heavy topics, so I expected the same with this one.
âYeah,â James answered, âI wrote the lyrics about you, actually,â He muttered softly, though I still picked it up. âAbout me?â I questioned, slightly shocked. âYeah⊠I've thought a lot about, well, everything recently. Ever since that point a few months back I've reflected and everything⊠Rumors spread, and I just want everyone out there to get the right idea,â He paused, searching for the right words, âI want people out there to know that you're all I care about, you mean more than the world to me, and I want everyone to know that,â He stated, his tone true and emotional. I had never heard him say sweeter words to me, and I knew that he was speaking nothing other than the truth, I could see it in his eyes, there's a way to read people, and James wasn't easy to read, but you soon could learn the lingo.
âThat means a lot to me, Jamie,â I answered, smiling at him. I got up from my chair to sit next to him on the couch, leaning against him. âThank you,â I said, kissing him on the cheek. âYou don't need to thank me, sweetheart,â James responded, wrapping his arm around me.
And now, I knew my whole world was whole again. What was once hatred, or so I thought was hatred, was once again love, everything as it should be.
#metallica fanfiction#j4h7#metallica smut#metallica x reader#james hetfield smut#james hetfield x you#James hetfeild x reader]#James hetfield#metallica#Metallica fanfic#this is so long#I love you annon#James hetfeild fanfic#megadeth#metal#Metallica x you
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HELLO LOVELY PEOPLE!! this might be too specific of a trope so if it is iâm sorry ab that but do you know of any fics where crowley is cursed or controlled in some way to hurt aziraphale? thanks and have a slay day!!!
Hi! Here are some fics in which Crowley is forced into hurting Aziraphale. Mind the tags and warnings on ALL of these ones, folks!...
Hell's Greatest Punishment by evilwriter37 (E)
Hell possesses Crowley and makes him hurt Aziraphale as a way of punishing him.
F to pay respects (I swear this isn't a crackfic) by satiricalScythe (NR)
In which upon failing to destroy the traitors to Heaven and Hell themselves, Gabriel and Beelzebub realize what they much do - if they can't destroy Aziraphale and Crowley, they'll make them destroy each other. Idk if this really earned the graphic depictions tag, but better safe than sorry. It was originally far more bloody but I cut a lot of parts out to make it work.
The Night Of Time by NuriaSchnee (E)
Aziraphale and Crowley are about to take their relationship to the next level when Gabriel and Michael's wrath falls on them. To punish them, they implant a fake reality into Crowley's memory in which he becomes a proper demon for a while and hurts Aziraphale several times. However, they leave Azirapahale untouched and aware that none of it has been real.
The Uncanny Valley by mozbee (E)
âOi, Crawley.â He freezes, then turns, because you should never turn your back on a Duke of Hell. He sees the woman leering at him, and kicks himself for not paying attention before, to her blank eyes, the slightly sour smell wafting off her now heâs looking for it. âHave a nice night,â she rasps, and suddenly lifts her hand and blows a palmful of black powder into his face. Crowley coughs and stumbles back, out of the elevator, dropping to the floor, eyes watering. Its gone up his nose, down his throat; he can feel it, cloying and irritating. âWhat the fuckââ he tries, but suddenly heâs gripped with a new, urgent thought: angel. He pauses, mind perking up at the thought. Angel. He stares up at Hastur, whoâs giggling and tossing long blonde hair over his borrowed shoulder. âThatâs right, demon: you smell an angel.â âIââ Itâs important, this bit about the angel, but itâs harder to put his finger on why. âYou smell the angel,â Hastur says, and reaches out, to grip his chin in harsh fingers. âYou want to kill the angel, donât you, Crawley? Donât you, demon?â
Fire in the Blood by Lurlur (E)
Heaven and Hell are in disarray, Earth is feeling the consequences. Crowley is hit with a lust curse from a rogue incubus which triggers a series of events that he'll never be able to undo. This fic features explicit rape and the aftermath. It is emotionally ugly. Look after yourselves.
Branded by Bookwormgal (M)
The mark on Crowley's face was not a tattoo. When Lucifer, still furious and his pride damaged, took out his frustration out on the first thing to catch his attention after the Fall. Rage, possessiveness, and a need to prove that he was not as weak as he felt when he was cast out spurred him into action. He claimed the broken and fallen creature in every way, relishing the confusion and fear. And he left a piece of his power tangled up in the former angel's essence, the only easily visible sign being a shape manifesting on his eventual corporeal body. But rather quickly, Lucifer found other things to occupy himself and the demon was sent up to Earth to cause some trouble. Six thousand years later and newly-enraged by the betrayal and halted apocalypse, Lucifer finally decides to make use of that power that he left behind. The devil is not one to surrender something that he'd claimed so easily. And the traitor would pay. He would make Crowley suffer.
- Mod D
#good omens#ineffable husbands#adult omens#mind control#major archive warning#graphic depictions of violence#non con#angst#mod d
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yes pleasue you have interesting things to read about. hmm i also wondered how they view their reputation among both male and female idols? do they think it could be better or worse?
Since this requires lots of time to read for im gonna split it up in 2 groups again
Hyung line: How Skz think their reputation is among idols
Chan
Male: that one was a bit weird i think he thinks the opinions are split - like some absolutely love him and think he's a delight to be around, while others find him cold and stern and appalling(?).
Female: he definitely thinks he's charming them girls upđ i think he thinks he has a loverboy image among them and is boyfie material.
Lee Know
Male: he thinks they view him as very motherly and caring. Often surprised by his nurturing and father/mother like qualities.
Female: thinks they view him as uninterested and maybe don't even have much else of an opinion of him cuz he's just not present around them.
Changbin
Male: thinks they view him as really fun and upcheering, kind of like the heart of the group or center of attention. He also thinks that they think of him as someone who brings or holds a group/hangout together. Like the burning flame that keeps the campers surrounded around it, warm.
Female: he thinks they like him and have a good opinion on him and feel comfortable & safe around him (he says one telling thing is that he gets to see their dorky side often, which they keep under wraps with other guys/people). Also he thinks that they like his money or view him as someone who's very generous and can spend on themđ„Čđđ
Hyunjin
Male: this was also a bit difficult, i think this mightve struck a nerve or something as im getting an energy of him being very hurt by some sort of rumours or behavioursbof someone and it shattered his "views" of some people. Maybe there was a rumour or something spreading about him among guys that either isnt true and he feels horrible that someone put it out there and people believe it and now thinks everyone thinks bad of him or something, or maybe the rumors actually true, and he's certain someone he thought was his friend started it and whichever it is he feels really shitty and austrasized about it. Dont know if thats actually true - like if he's been really austrasized or not, but thats definitely what he feels. Back to the topic tho - his overal thoughts besides that, on his image among male idols is they think he's very cool and fierces, he thinks he's kind of a role model especially for younger ones, like ifhglgkg yk that energy of a big and little sis, and the younger one looks up to the bigger one. So in a way i think he thinks that a lot of guys look up to him and think he's really cool.
Female: here i don't pick up much on his reputation persee but he thinks that lots of female idols just look at him from afar and admire him, despite really wanting to get close or make a move but for some reason i get the feeling that they don't? As if he's there to just be admired but not touchedđ like the art in the museum. Maybe he has heard rumours or something about people really liking him and thinking about or wanting to make a move. But again im no getting much of a confirmation if they actually do or not. Oh and also in this reading rumours were pretty evident, so maybe he's someone that has had to deal with lots of that. Maybe he's in those kinds of groups where theres always some drama happeningđ or he just enjoys endulging in rumours or gossip himself? Idk but that stuck out in this reading sođ€·đ»ââïž
#skz#stray kids#tarot reading#kpop#asks#seo changbin#bang chan#lee know#hyunjin#skz tarot#stray kids tarot#kpop tarot#headcanons#reaction#skz imagines
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