#idk im very happy with my life rn but it always makes me feel like im struggling to catch up with them and it's exhausting
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lesbianfrottage · 6 months ago
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Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!
#it won't be honestly#I do not think I will ever actually get to have that#I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing#so no one really wants anything real with me#especially JUST with me#and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh#and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date#and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1#but i still yearn for it#it's still an emotional need#and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met#it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met#but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness#some of us just don't get to be loved#some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us#i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay#I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog#(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn#and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it#but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can#like. even do#but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone#like emotionally or romantically or sexually#because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change#and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough#so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh#im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life
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patronsaintofposmodernity · 8 months ago
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nothing makes me feel quite as behind and childish and juvenile as meeting from time to time with my college friends and it's. so embarrassing
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meateater-rabbit · 8 months ago
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chrisevansonly · 1 year ago
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𝐦𝐨𝐦 & 𝐝𝐚𝐝 𝐩𝐭2 | 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐨
✯social media au
✯daniel ricciardo x female reader
✯the nickname mom and dad finally has some ‘true’ meaning behind it 🫶🏻
✯ah this was a request so thank you so much!! this was very fun and cute to write, i hope you enjoy<3
part 1 part 3
ynricciardo
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mom and dad really are about to become mom and dad, baby ricciardo coming soon🤍
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username IM SOBBING
username im so happy for my parents 😭
username someone check on lando
lilyhme congratulations you two!! can’t wait to meet them!❤️
landonorris i need 4-5 business days to recover😭
>ynricciardo me too, wanna come watch cheesy movies with me🥹
>landonorris on my way 🏃🏻
username lando and y/n kill me😭
danielricciardo i love you, so excited to have a little terror around!!!!
>ynricciardo if they are a terror, that’s from you babe😚
ynricciardo added to their story!
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danielricciardo
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that is one hot mama, and she’s all mine😁😁
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username HOT MAMA😮‍💨😮‍💨
username oh she looks so beautiful!!!
username look at that bump!
redbullracing baby danny incoming!!!
>ynricciardo ❤️❤️
landonorris what size is baby ricc this week mom?
>ynricciardo they are about the size of an acorn squash apparently😂
>username lando calling y/n mom😭
ynricciardo
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this is life recently, all baby wants is gelato right now, which i won’t complain about. daniel and lando are like my full grown children half the time, and baby is the size of a cabbage now…which i feel the weight of 24/7🥴
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username cabbage ricciardo!!
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username ou gelato sounds so good rn
username lando and danny being actual kids in adult bodies 💀
landonorris i was your first child remember that😌
>danielricciardo yeah idk why we agreed on that
>ynricciardo are you saying i was stupid to agree that lando was our first child? 🤨
>danielricciardo NO never, you’re the smartest baby, i love you!!
username HAHAHAHA smart response daniel
username im dying right now
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ynricciardo
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how the night started vs how the morning ended up, a very surprise welcome to our little girl Mila Grace Ricciardo. You are so special to us, mommy and daddy love you so much already❤️❤️
tagged daniel ricciardo
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username oh i’m sobbing rn
username Mila🥹🥹🥹
username I LOVE HER NAME SM
redbullracing welcome to the world little Mila!❤️
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landonorris im still crying
landonorris i can’t wait to meet her
>ynricciardo we’ll be home tomorrow so come over whenever ❤️
username lando crying is so me
danielricciardo my girls forever❤️
landonorris
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i’m not crying anymore don’t worry, just couldn’t help but introduce Mila as my god daughter. i can’t thank y/n enough, okay i guess daniel too, for trusting me with this title. i love Mila so much already
ps. i’m moving in😁
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username omg lando and mila😭
username why is this making me sob so hard rn
username lando is the best uncle and now godfather ever🥹
ynricciardo you’re family lando, Mila loves you so much already, you always have a home with us🤍
>username ‘you always have a home with us’ i’m unstable
>danielricciardo she means the garage
>ynricciardo 🤨🤨🤨
username HAHAHAHA this is sending me
mclaren welcome baby mila 🧡🧡
liked by ynricciardo and landonorris
username lando getting all the mila angles 😭
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adilynnyuri · 3 months ago
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I hope this isnt trauma dumping or sm but i just needed to get this out and also get some advice and i think i really like ur advice. So i have been jn a relationship w my bf for 2 years now and i love him with my heart and soul and we plan to get married ( ee are still young but we see that as the futuregoal) so up tntil a few months back i used to just go to random s*x chat groups and something and would share my nudes nd just stuff like that and would also watch p*rn .. these are both things that me and my bf would a 100% consider cheating and if he did this to me i would kill myself out of sorrow. I absolutely hate myself and am disgusted at myself i was distracted for a little while with my exams but now they are over and now im crying all the time again just thinking about what i did to the boy i love the most. At the time i didnt think much of it and at first i would just talk w people but slowly i started sharing nudes and i did this a couple of times until i realized a few months back how wrong it is. I have no idea how i didnt realise how wrong this is?Up until this i was a really good person i dont think ive ever hurt anybody and i am very nice also but now idk i just hate myself and everything about me .Every day whenever i think aboyt this i cant help but cry and think there really isnt anything else i can do. Of course i have changed and wouldnt think of doing such a thing again but still the fact that i did it in the first place makes me want to die.
Ik its so selfish but i cant keeo thinking that he will do sm like this to me also and that ill get my karma. Does karma really even exist and how do i get myself to atop thinking this now i always suspect him of cheating and talking to other girls. Hes done sm similar to cheating to me but nothing on this level. What he did is nothing ckmpared to what i did.
And in the context of manifesting, should i manifest that none of this ever happened and for me to be a really nice person or shoukd i manifest that this completely gets erased from my memory or what?? This also messes up my manifestion so much i cant helo hut tell myself that i dont deserve good things as im a bad person . Please help. If youre not comfortable answering this then im sorry for wasting ur time
Hii love!
BABE CALM DOWN! I UNDERSTAND YOU!!
I totally understand you and your situation but I am here to help you and to remind you THAT YOU DIDN'T AND WILL NEVER DO ANY MISTAKES!
First of all, WHATEVER HAPPENS REMEMBER!
Don't EVER LOSE HOPE!! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO'S CREATING BOTH GOOD/BAD SITUATIONS THAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES!!
You are the MAIN CHARACTER! YOU NEVER FACE ANY PROBLEMS!!
And imo Idgaf to karma. I don't even consider it's real. BUT I WILL USE IT TO MY ADVANTAGE BY AFFIRMING THAT WHOEVER TRIES TO HARM ME IN ANY WAYS THEY WILL COMPLETELY FACE THE WORST.
I understand that you feel guilty about your activities! But! NEVER LET IT TAKE CONTROL OVER YOU! AND DON'T THINK YOU ARE BAD PERSON OR SOMETHING!!
You are limitless and you can do anything!
Until you don't hurt anyone in the name of manifestation, YOU ARE NEVER A BAD PERSON OR DOING ANY BAD!
⭐I will give you an example from my life!
My success in revising an embarrassing situation!
Once I did something very embarrassing like so embarrassing I just wanted to k!ll myself💀 but then I thought why should I do that to myself? I was born in this world to be happy and cherished 24/7! so I just affirmed robotically that NOTHING BAD HAPPENED AND I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT AND MY DP WHO WITNESSED THAT FORGETS IT TOO! (It was very tough for me too! The shit which I did kept popping up in my mind, BUT I DIDN'T GIVE MUCH ATTENTION TO THAT AND KEPT AFFIRMING!)
Well it just took me 1 day! One full day of robotic affirmations! LITERALLY THE VERY NEXT DAY EVEN I FORGOT AND MY DP TOTALLY FORGOT!! I WAS SO SO HAPPY!
Suggestion for you! 💕
I know it's so tough for you to affirm totally against of what happened, but trust me! JUST AFFIRM! YOU ARE SO POWERFUL LOVE! JUST REVISE SAYING,
"I never did anything bad and I am never guilty"
I AM BEING 1000000% SURE WHATEVER YOU WANT WILL HAPPEN. WHATEVER YOU WANTED TO CHANGE, WILL CHANGE! MORE LIKE, IT HAS ALREADY CHANGED !!
With lots of love,
ADILYNN YURI🤍🌷
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willbyersenthusiast · 9 months ago
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since i won’t shut up about Found Heaven, here’s a list of songs i think are very byler coded:
Found Heaven (the title track)
Alley Rose
The Final Fight
Miss You
Forever With Me
Eye Of The Night (kind of)
Winner (kind of)
and yk what while i’m here im gonna explain the reasons i think so;
Found Heaven:
i already explained this in a previous post (idk how to link them so have fun scrolling) but i will give a brief explanation; the song is about internalized homophobia and it’s basically conan telling his younger self it’s okay, or at least that’s how i perceive it, so i see this as a mike wheeler song. it can be will too but will is more out of the closet than mike tbf.
Alley Rose:
this one is kind of more about yearning and wanting but not before the relationship, it’s after it. they’re also kind of nervous around each other (especially mike) in season 4. the line “i waited all year at your feet like maybe you’d love me” is so them because they both waited for the other to reach out when Will moved to Lenora.
for the bridge, will is so worried about his best friend hating him because he’s gay and in love with him. “i thought if you’d ever leave me that i’d be the reason why.” and will again for the last little bit of the bridge saying “i swore hands were made for fighting, i swore eyes were made to cry, but you’re the first person that i’ve seen whose proven that might be a lie.” it’s kind of self explanatory in a way because will grew up in an abusive household. and for “don’t leave me hanging alone again.” i feel it fits both of them but also mike, because mike told will he felt like he was losing him and he wanted to be best friends again in s4
The Final Fight:
i feel like this one says how will wants to tell mike how much mike hurt him, and how he really upset him. he probably wants himself to get over mike and thinks this will help him (but it’ll just make mike confess😏 [hopefully].
Miss You:
this one makes me think of Mike telling Will how he misses him and how he felt like he “lost you or something.” and how “it’s not hawkins without you.” in season 4. and he knows he’s been a douche a little asshat (you can tell i’m a little upset with this mike lmao) but he wants “to be friends again. Best friends”
Forever With Me:
holy fucking shit this one. this song. i see this as Will yearning for Mike and wanting to be with him forever. “I ain’t sorry, though i should probably be. I think i’m gonna love you. You’re forever with me.” THIS SCREAMS WILL BYERS. “you are the reason i learned to love. Also the reason i cry” holy fucking SHIIIITTTT
Eye Of The Night:
i perceive this song as “this person haunts me. i see them everywhere and i can’t escape them” so it kind of reminds me of how they like always come back to each other? idk this one just kinda makes me think of them 💀
Winner:
this song (mainly just the pre-chorus and the chorus) makes me think of the rain fight. Will’s pov to be specific. i see it as Will saying “yeah you won you made me feel like shit, are you happy??” ykwim? OH AND THE SECOND VERSE “yet you have the nerve to miss me. how do i somehow feel guilty when you’re the one who let it get this bad” HOLY SHIT THATS LITERALLY THEIR FIGHT AT RINK-O-MANIA. like mike blaming will for not reaching out in the heat of the moment and therefore will blames himself too.
anyways that’s my little rant done GO STREAM FOUND HEAVEN ITS AMAZING AND IT HAS SUCH A DAZZLING 80S VIBE ITS MY FAVORITE THING RN GO LISTEN TO IT PLEASE ITS LIFE CHANGING
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theropoda · 3 months ago
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...... i have. PRAWBLEMS. with the ending but honestly i felt very unwell and gross rn so i had difficulty focusing in the first place, maybe if i watch it again when i feel better ill feel different. under read more bc this got long lol
disclaimer before anyone GETS at me: i am not a critic. im literally just some guy watching a tv show, and i am really more confused than anything so if you really enjoyed the finale and feel like it was the perfect way for the show to end im happy for you! i don't have any intent on arguing it Absolutely Wasn't. this isn't a Hatepost. just me airing my thoughts. that are probably really incoherent bc again, i feel unwell ;_; brain is more focused on my stomach than this damn show
i knew how this was gonna end, i did watch the end of this show before, ive always been familiar w house because i watched episodes of it on tv as a kid with my mom and sister and knew major plot points like amber's death and wilson's cancer and house faking his death and everything but. the details were lost on me. now that i know the details something about them just doesn't jive with me and feel right.
probably related to my earlier post about how even in the final season so much of house is the same. he tried to change for the better but he was still back. i mean the entire premise of the show is about "the disabled addict doctor who struggles to be a person" so if any of these magically stopped being there that'd be stupid ESPECIALLY him being a disabled addict which are so central to his character. so im definitely not complaining about that.
initially i thought him faking his death was insanely reckless but what other choice was available. if he went, Hey, im here! im alive he'd absolutely be going to jail. in jail so far away while his best friend, maybe his only friend would be dying alone. of course he did that. his only choice was ttofake his death to be with wilson. throwing away his whole life and legacy and career and reputation to be with him.
hilson endgame real but also, while watching the whole show i kept going from "tumblr didn't lie these guys are gay" to "Tumblr may have oversold it a bit". but that might just be in the nature of its episodic structure. not e everything is abt wilson there's other people in house's lofe but in that final season everything does speed up, suddenly and become about wilson. which brings me to the whole cancer thing. in my memory of the show from watching it as a kid, Wilson's cancer came up as a plot point WAY earlier and there is much more time to discuss it in the show. to ponder and delve into it, what it means for wilson, for house, for the show. but actually watching the show it feels very sudden....! i felt like the entire cancer thing, which plays so damn heavily into the SERIES FINALE, wasn't explored enough...? it felt rushed. but it might feel like it because well there's a difference between watching a show as it comes out on a schedule vs binge watching it on demand.
and another thing that irked me is- but this is more of a "this personally makes me Feel Sad and Weird" as opposed to genuine criticism is how EVERYONE thinks house is dead except Two People. that's crazy. i have a Thing for closure and knowing things, the truth, im a little paranoid about that, but it just feels insane to me that house's own parents, family, former and current colleges, lovers, everyone... they all think he's dead when he's not. i see how that is, in terms of the Narrative, a good thing? house is truly FREE now. and if other people knew they'd probably call the police. but also that's just kinda horrifying.... I don't know. idk. also wtf cuddy wasn't there at the funeral? D: obviously i know how their last meeting went but they were such big part of each other's lives im rlly shocked she wasn't there! or even showed up at ALL in the ending scene where we see where everyone's life has headed, a little scene of her, Rachel, and someone new
and also. ._. how did that fire even start in the first place?..... did i miss something....? uaaaaah. i should watch it again
ugh but despite my peeves. i want to pass this off as Just another show ive watched, time to move on to the next, because a big part of the reason i started house and kept going and even chose to watch it at the times i did was because i have been going through some rough shit mentally for the past. entire year plus. i have relied on it to keep me distracted. i want to just move onto the next distraction but i have become so attached, it's hard to not feel :/ and :( about 1) the fact it's over now 2) it ended in a way that makes me feel funny, and not in a good way. aaaahhhhh.
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ottiliere · 1 year ago
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hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on
(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶
Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.
I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.
“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.
The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.
I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.
Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!
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matd0 · 2 years ago
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life update ig ??:
hi hi hi hi hi hi hi !!!
ok so
1. i mentioned about having medical issues and some people got concerned so i just want to quickly explain the thing yk; in short it turns out having anxiety can cause heart arrhythmia ????? which can be like kinda dangerous;; but like in most cases it's fairly harmless so i should be alright :] !! still have to go check it out at the hospital (which i have been sorta putting off for a while bc yk. anxiety,, lol) but like other than it stressing me out a bit, everything is relatively fine :]
2. school is kicking my ass rn 💀 have a lot of unfinished work and missed a ton of classes bc my mental health kinda sucks,, so yk it's not exactly going great lol. but uhhhhhhhhhh im sure I'll figure it out ? ig ?? ye.
3. got a small art block. well it's more like "i have so much work to do, how dare i draw at a time like this" (and then just go to sleep bc im soo stressed and overwhelmed about everything 💀) but like. I'll probably get over it soon 🤷
idk i also just feel super obligated to always post super high effort paintings if i have many followers yk? like alot of the time i just feel like my drawings aren't good enough and everyone will like despise me for it;; and idk ig i just need constant approval for everything i do for some reason sjdhjshd. ik it's like. a really inaccurate and terrible way to look at it but i just can't rlly help it;;
uhhh all that to say, i hope it's alright if i post more sketches and unfinished drawings ? ;;
4. i would like to formally apologize for barely responding to literally anything. like. im so sorry dudes;;;;;;; unfortunately i have. very intense social anxiety and literally do not respond to anyone ever. (/srs it's like. a genuine issue in my life. whoops) but like i feel super bad about it bc i don't want to seem like i don't care T_T cuz lik e. i literally read every comment, message, tag, etc. and they always make me so so so happy ;;;;; like i routinely show screencaps of random comment to my friends gush about how nice they are 💀 idk point being; im a loser, i love all of you and it blows my mind that anyone cares about my silly drawings for a p much dead fandom lol.
extra: also i uh made a creepypasta oc 🧍‍♂️might post about him maybe idk im scared it'll be cringe sjhsjsgdhgdhd epic
TLDR; pretty stressed, small art block, school suckz, might die but probably not lol.
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(sorry this came off super negative and sort of venty 💀 its all good i swear, im just silly)
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akaakeis · 4 months ago
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literally going to kms i wrote a huge ask and it got deleted BUT IRS VERY IMPORTANT SO IM WRITINF IT AGAIN so first of all i want u to know that i am shameless and will double and triple and quadruple text u bcuz i love u
onto the main course!! i read this one fic and a reblog said something like "this is peaceful, peaceful is good" and it reminded me of u. like,, your writing is like that AND IN A GOOD WAY LEMME REPHRASE. so like! most fics have like,, something in them. explosions fireworks love hatred confessions misunderstandings u get what i mean
but urs are like. so not explosions,, so peaceful in comparison. like, reconnecting with old friends. sorry, we haven't talked in a bit. dancing in the rain. coming home. and they are like completely normal things that normal people experience and that i have experienced but for some reason you make them so special and magical ! somehow the peacefulness of it all makes it sm better. NOT SAYING THAT IF U WRITE EXPLOSIONS ILL FEEL ANY DIFFERENT AB UR WRITING IN GENERAL. but i mean your writing is familiar and warm and it's just... nothing special happens,, there's nothing life-changing going on,, and it's still so perfect and extraordinary.
um ill use my most favourite fic of all time here as an example ! The Iwa One. its less than 1k words and its just,,,,, a friend u havent seen in a long while, and u finally talk and u talk ab ur day and thats literally just it. AND SOMEHOW ITS LIKE SO
SO
IDK GOOD?????? like idk man im fr tweaking rn but. like. your writing's about little things,,, nothing huge in the long run, just a talk with an old friend. AND YOU STILL MANAGE TO MAKE IT SO SIGNIFICANT AND SO FULL OF LOVE AND JOY AND WARMTH likr bro!!!!! ive always liked that one quote that goes,, love is in the little things but i think ur writing has given me a new perspective of it and now i love it (ur writing, the quote) even more now!!!!
erm that's all ily mwah mwah
NOOO THE LONG ASK 😞😞 sorry bb that sucks i hate when that happens but IM SO HONORED that you're literally rewriting all of that for ME?? i may cry thanks i love u
alina im literally staring at this ask like :( WHAT IF I GENUINELY CRY OVER THIS OH MY GOD!! like im so happy that it gives off that vibe because that's truly what i try to go for! im not trying to do anything particularly special? i just want to be able to give comfort through my fics <3
i genuinely want to keep this in my inbox forever and ever so that i can reread it but you at least deserve a reply from me for sending the sweetest thing ever :( like lately ive been kinda iffy abt how i feel regarding my writing but this really does make me feel better!! because knowing that someone like you (who i deem as an important voice on my writing) really likes my writing, it just makes me want to continue for you <3 im so glad i can provide u with writing to enjoy and i hope i can continue to in the long run <3 xx
thank u for this alina ily!!
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magical-glimpse · 2 years ago
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your readings are so great tbh it’s nice to see people having such a connection with the universe! Do u think you could do an energy check on the members?
Thank you !! You're so nice !! I still have a lot to learn tbh, but im glad you love my readings !
As always,
For entertainment purposes only.
Jin:At the same time, he sees the military as a break from his idol life, but he also want a break from the military lol.A lot of it has got to do with him having to fight his nature.He's naturally a lot more laid back and fun than the circumstances mostly let him be.I think one of his past investments is growing while he isnt there, and the fruits are getting ready for whe he will come back.He is also torn between two options for a choice ( idk what tho).He is feeling out of touch with his purpose while understanding why this had to happen.It is helping him develop another side of himself, and he is learning to balance them.
NJ:He didnt want any cards, but hes saying he is thinking about things deeply.He seemed like i caught him off guard when he was in the middle of a reflection ?You know when people are trying to explain something to you but they are getting caught up in the cobwebs of their thoughts?Yeah, him rn.
Yoongi:OK so Yoongi teased me and dared me to do it with no cards.He said he is feeling quite peaceful and content/satisfied rn.It's the phase where the stage euphoria came down but youre not quite into post show blues yet.Just quiet, happy, calm, tranquil.Moving slowly, relaxed.I saw him going down a slow river sitting on a surfboard with his eyes closed.So yeah, nice.
Hobi:He seemed pretty excited to do the reading but the first card that came out was the Tower ??I think he is going through a very transformative phase but he is also really excited for it. A sense of oh finally.A lot of his fears and deep anxieties are coming down, he is cutting through them with a new sense of rationality and outspokenness(?) He is becoming less afraid of telling his truth and is not letting himself being held back and literally tied down by how other people see him.He is very strssed tho, and is using good old breathing techniques to relax. (Which kinda makes sense bc i feel like since the military his energy has been mostly quiet except for random burst of really wanting to talk, so i guess it is linked to his stress levels ?)
Jimin:I think he might have asked someone out recently and it went very well ?WHAT- PARK JIMIN GO BACK WITH YOUR 18+ STUFF NO-hm hm, so boy is having fun.In general, he is spending time on things and people he love, going out, learning new things, connecting or reconnecting with people, following where his passion and emotions lead him.He is also really enjoying having attention rn.
Tae:A part of him want to keep very private, but hes seeing around.As in learning things, discovering art he didnt know, a little imaginative.He has been hurt by public attention too much and wants to withdraw a little.He doesnt want ARMY to worry though, he just want us to understand he is human, and that would be hard on anyone. JK:Jk felt pumped up and talkative lol.So he learning to let things go and to find his joy in the things he has right now, he is learning to be happy.It is the end of a trial for him.He had many options and he thinks he picked right.It is the end of the phase.The next one might be the one where he meets his twin flame (if you have followed me for a while, you would know he insists on talking about them almost everytime lol).Their psychic link will strengthen like never before.He is in general quite happy with where he got in life and proud of himself for recent lessons he learned and went through
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seattlesellie · 2 years ago
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this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟
okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧
literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗
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captain-hawks · 4 months ago
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I'm out picking fig leaves amd red dates rn but I got a post notifications with you being hard on your writing and I just want to come on here real quick to give you a big ole hug. Your writing is BEAUTIFUL and compelling and I love the way you pull so many scenarios out of seemingly thin air. I love all the directions your mind goes and the way you bring to life all the scenarios you weave. And I truly mean to use the word "weave" bc even your short drabbles are rich in world building. They don't feel like little disconnected stories so much as they feel like part of a world that I, as a reader, am somehow already hazily familiar with despite just being dropped into the story. It feels like I've been watching this friendship/love/general relationship grow for a while and someone turned up the volume for this little snippet and it's coming through clearly. It feels like a beautiful quilt of unique crocheted squares that all come together to form something enriching and gorgeous and leaves me simultaneously sated and yearning for more!!! Idk how you do it!! Ilysm and you're the whole reason im even active on tumblr basically. I've been a lurker for at least a decade and a half but reading your work gave me the final push to get over my internet shyness to let people know when i enjoy The Thing They Made. I'm so sorry if none of this made sense btw I am being eaten ALIVE by mosquitoes but goddammit I want to make fig leaf creme brulee and creme anglaise and maybe mesquite honey fig leaf ice cream. I've been putting off making yeasted donuts but it might be time to try so I can make fig leaf custard and shove that in there too 🌿
also I keep getting hit in the head by raining dates. ouch.
i’ve had to re-read this message multiple times today because i just keep getting so overcome with a giant tidal wave of emotions every time i start. 
i don’t even know where to begin to start expressing how thankful i am for all of your endlessly thoughtful and incredibly meaningful observations (that you always put SO much time and effort into sharing with me!!!). no amount of verbal gratitude feels like it will fully suffice to encompass just how impactful your feedback has been and continues to be. the fact that those are your takeaways from my work is genuinely one of the biggest, most lovely compliments i could ever receive as a writer. i’m not exaggerating in the slightest when i say that all of the kind things you’ve said have a forever home in my brain and heart. 
i appreciate you so so so so so very much, friend<3 and i’m so happy you’re doing your thing on here now and interacting because you are literally a whole entire ray of light.
anyway I HOPE YOUR FIG AND DATE ADVENTURES END UP FRUITFUL!!!! i am once again weeping at the promise of what sounds like another incredibly tasty creation of yours 😭
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rainbowrenjun · 2 years ago
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15 questions, 15 mutuals
tagged by @boochans (ty!!!<3 even tho it took me like a week lol)
1. are you named after anyone? nope! unless you count the fact that my mom loves british tv so she gave me and brother very british names unintentionally lol 2. when was the last time you cried? yesterday i teared up but i can't for the life of me remember why. if we’re talking a proper cry tho i don’t remember but it couldn’t have been long ago bc i’m a big cry baby like crying doesn’t register as a big deal to me atp like that’s just my life baby 3. do you have kids? noooo omg i’m still trying to figure out how to take care of myself😭 4. do you use sarcasm a lot? idk what counts as a lot but i have been known to be sarcastic 5. what sports do you play/have you played? never been a huge sports person but as a kid i did soccer, golf, and a bit of karate 6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? i’m not sure maybe their outfit? or maybe hair color/style bc that's the easiest way to tell people apart imo 7. what’s your eye colour? light blue 8. scary movies or happy endings? not a big movie person but i’m always down for a good comedy so i guess happy endings 9. any special talents? not that i'm aware lol (unless having such bad adhd that adderall makes me sleepy is a special talent🤔) 10. where were you born? this feels like a security question so i’m gonna keep it vague and say the west (of us america) but i only lived in that town as a baby im not a true West Coaster™️ 11. what are your hobbies? giffing, trading/collecting kpop stuff, video games (esp rpgs!! give me recs if ur into rpgs 👀), writing (fanfic but also original stuff that i can never seem to finish), used to be really into makeup but i fell out of it during the pandemic, reading (i tend to not read for 6 months and then read 300k words in one sitting. all or nothing🫡 also if u read danmei or wlw stuff give me recs:3) 12. do you have pets? yes i have a 6 year old cat (thalia) & a 2 year old dog (mochi)! 13. how tall are you? roughly 5’5 14. favourite subject in school? social studies! 15. dream job? author has always been my childhood dream that's carried into adulthood if i can ever finish a damn novel, but rn i'm trying to attempt college (again) to go into a history related field!
tagging (if u want to ofc :3): @minchanz @mistarover @taeminnomuyeppeo @twiceland @jsuh
+ bonus visuals references of thalia & mochi 🥰
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httpiastri · 7 months ago
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hi jackie im back and im here to yap
also this entire thing is really disorganised (just a warning)
pepe’s 187 seems short?? 😭😭😭😭😭 also im pretty sure 187 is very recent bc this redbull driver database was updated early this year before the f2 season started (sorry ive realised how insane i must be to know this but i can’t tell if i agree with the measurements because sometimes i think pepe and ollie should be around 190?? minimally!!)
also the girl who edited pepe to guilty as sin is literally so sweet omg 😭😭 ill def make my own pepe playlist soon bc i need it for myself—don’t know if ill ever share it (although i do listen to so much international music from asia, europe, and literally everywhere else so it might be a pretty disorganised mess)
i saw pepe’s pics this morning when i woke up and i ACTUALLY screamed/squealed out loud and now i realise it’s the stubble/facial hair (i kinda think it’s way past the stubble point but regardless of what it is, i love it so so much)
omg also youre so right about liking when pepe shows emotions?? i love him being all soft and sweet but i also want to see him salty and upset and angry like idk i find it so very attractive when i am reminded that he is human?? idk if that makes any sense but i love it when people are raw and so so genuine with their emotions and i also love when he talks about stuff i barely know about because i love intelligence and i love him
and omg feeling guilty about not using the resources you have is so so real 😭😭 my parents are first gen immigrants and im the first child and so i feel so guilty because of how privileged i am compared to my cousins and stuff, especially since i live in one of the strongest academic countries but am still so lazy at times 😕😕 ESPECIALLY since ive had more opportunities than the average student academically because i was gifted but now im there’s so much guilt surrounding not going the mainstream and highest pathway BUT OMG your sport i completely forgot about that but don’t you coach kids or something?? i feel like i have a vv faint recollection of that because i used to follow you from my old blogs but i’m not too sure 🤨🤨 still isn’t it so cool how so many seemingly insignificant things can suddenly turn into such a big part of your life one day?? i find that concept so cool to think about all the time (like in my un-anonymous ask a while ago i mentioned what i was studying and… i used to be so invested in those themes? like it was never serious, i just dabbled in it here and now my career plans kindaaa differ from what’s expected in this field of study but its cool that im getting to experience what i used to imagine for fun and it’s also sort of led me to consider this career path that MANY childhood friends/people who knew me used to think i’d go into, even though i never once mentioned or even considered it)
i believe in karma too!! i think that if you are a kind person and do things with the best of intentions then that will be exactly what is reflected in every aspect of your life. i am also a strong believer that pepe WILL do well for the rest of this season, from this race onwards. i also have such a good feeling about monaco, and it’s not just because of all the pepe content that’s been put out recently… i think 🫣🫣
omg i remember you complaining (?? pls forgive me i have no other word choice rn) about how he didn’t get a penalty, and i also cannot remember if he did end up with a penalty… but i don’t think he did? so maybe he’s just serving unnecessary penalties from last year idk but it’s def his time now!!
and thank you so so much for always replying to my asks!! please don’t feel bad about replying late 😓😓 because it’s vv understandable if you’re busy and you really shouldn’t force yourself to answer asks when you’re tired! take care of yourself jackie, and i’m wishing you a lovely day tomorrow!! 💗💗
- 🪷
hello darling !!! very happy that you wanted to come and yap for me <3
SJDFHDK I KNOW ITS NOT SHORT BUT LIKE 😭 it seems short for him? like to me he seems like suchhh a long boyyo?? thoughhhh im just now realizing that he's taller than my older brother..... but okay let me explain my reasoning: in my head 187 isn't super tall because in the handball world (the world i live in), 187 is like kinda average? the guy i used to crush on is a little over 2 meters 😶 and he wasn't the tallest in the team 😶 but yeah tbh it seems reasonable that they updated it kinda recently. but pleaseeee update the f2 f3 websites ☹️
omg... if you do end up wanting to share it, i will definitely be obsessed...... i have been listening to ☄️ anons pepe playlist way too often to not be super embarrassed over it 😭 but like certain songs come on and i just catch myself blushing on the street because im thinking about pepe and... yeah...... 🙃 and omg don't worry about it being disorganised, a broad music taste is the best one 🥰
yeah it was definitely more than a stubble but am i complaining?? actually not (which surprises even me) 🥰 i currently have a very big obsession with just the thought of his stubbe/beard/whatever... just touching it? don't need to be shaving it? kissing him and feeling it slightly rub me and getting to jokingly complain just to see his cute smile and hear his pretty laughter??? y e s
" idk i find it so very attractive when i am reminded that he is human??" !!!!!!!!!!!! agreed 10000%!!! i love it when drivers have emotions that arent just happy or "well something bad happened, shit happens", and especially pepe. and idk it's something about the extreme contrast abt him? because when he's happy then he's so happy, big smiles and sweet giggles. but when he's upset.... 🫠 and omfg you're SO right about him talking abt racing stuff or yes just stuff i don't really get, because intelligence is SO HOT 😁 i could listen to him talk abt racing for hours and hours and never get bored
ahhhh i see i see !!! i relate to you sooo much... i made it through like all of my years of school just by luck and always managing to get good grades even though i didn't put in a lot of effort? but in my later years, as soon as something got a little hard or i didn't fully like it, i just bailed 😶 even though im so lucky to have all of these opportunities.... :/
but yes i do coach kids hehe 🥺 cute that you remembered 🥺 speaking of that, the fact that i became a coach in the first place was kind of just a coincidence aswell, and now six years later it's one of the biggest things in my life and i'll (hopefully) be studying coaching in the fall and just !! crazy how life works out sometimes 🥺 (the guy who brought me into coaching actually passed away recently and on his funeral i cried much more than i ever thought i would because i realized that i owe him like my entire life... idk what i would be doing today without him..... and he probably had no idea how much he changed my life 😭 idk kinda off topic but also not)... but yes it's indeed very cool!!! and like u said, like when people think stuff of/for you that you don't rlly think about yourself but one day you're just..... oh
yes yes 100%!! i love showing the girls i coach about karma, like whenever we do something kind and then get instant karma for it i'm like "girls look! we did a good thing, now we get rewarded!! 😁" (im making it sound like they're 5 years old when in reality they're 15 oop-), and this one time when i did something pretty bad we all got bad karma all weekend......... 😶 and ik this was aimed at the monaco weekend buT the next race!!!! a good result in barcelona will feel so much better now considering these last few rounds so im okay with this. i know it will happen 🥰
sjdghkdh complaining is an okay word choice because i was upset about a lot of things that weekend 😭 (though mostly during the sunday-) but no i don't think he got one either? it was probs the teams fault so im sure they got a fine etc? but yeah that could be an explanation 😭 100% about to be his time!!!!
thank you so so so much for sending me asks!!!! no but i will feel bad anyway because i do love writing answers but when i answer so late, it seems like i don't enjoy it? when in reality i love it so much??? idk i just feel so guilty and 😭 im so sorry. but thank you again for keeping on sending in asks!!!!! truly makes my day every time <3 take care of yourself too, hope you have a lovely rest of this week ❤️
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romatique · 1 year ago
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hi lina! i sent jes a message ab a day ago and it's all ab astrology. if u have time and it doesn't bother u, i hope u could give ur two cents ab it ^^
my bestfriend for 14 years, know nothing about ATEEZ [ i just found out that she won an ATZ album to a "BTS ALBUM GIVEAWAY" so she's not completely unaware of them ] recently gave me her birth time and out of curiosity, I put it up with my bias' (hwa) chart and in my interpretation, if these two meet— idk... IM A FAN
8h mars overlay
1h mars overlay
7h vertex
11h moon overlay
6h moon overlay
virgo-juno conjunction
juno-juno conjunction
asc-sun conjunction
moon-sun conjunction
mars-moon conjunction
mars trine moon
mercury trine venus (both ways)
mars trine venus
*attached below is a pic of their composite chart*
these r the placements that i feel are very strong and important to relationships. but idk, i could just be reaching and maybe im just a delusional bestfriend and fan but im not even kidding when i say she *almost* always match the seonghwa ideal type and fs readings VERY WELL that it almost always creep me out and even question my sanity bc it was just so random (somehow).
so yeah, that's basically it. im actually not so very much deep into astrology YET. i already asked her ab her thoughts on this, and she just said "everything will workout if it's meant to be" then followed it up with "or baka masyado ka lang oa sa interpretation, baka kapag nagkita kame niyan pumikit pa siya heheh POGI-POGI NIYAN" implying that she doesn't think it's impossible for them to cross paths but also doesn't believe that there would be something, that he's too good- looking, and that I AM JUST REACHING LMAO
I HOPE I DIDNT BORE U BC OF THAT LONG ASS MESSAGE LMAO. this is me asking for ur 2 cents btw lol i just want to know if i am interpreting things properly or... im just reaching.
THANK U IN ADVANCE, LINA!
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hello sweetheart! you didn’t bore me at all~ i absolutely adore jes and i’m happy she sent you to me.
i know a lot of people have that “delusional” concept in their heads. i’m ngl, i’m lowkey like that too, i try to stand on a realistic ground, especially for readings. but i do believe that, in some way, celebrities could end up with potential fans aswell.
someone (i don’t quite remember who rn, i’ll make sure to check after i post this) posted once that bangchan’s fs is also a fan, for example. that happens more often than we could ever imagine. some celebrities even prefer it that way (let’s say they like the attention, not in a negative way, they just like being cared for)
in astrology, not everything’s perfect, of course. so even if their charts don’t match perfectly, that’s still a good sign. if you never bleed, you never grow and etc. it’s important to have a few negative sides to every relationship, as long as it’s not abusive! cause if not, how will we know what works and what doesn’t?
so, i read your whole message and the chart you sent as well. and i LOVE the earth energy right here. stable, grounded, and there’s also an open-minded side to the relationship with the gemini mars in the 10th house. could mean a foreigner, someone who’s into literature, or has an academic life, opposite to seonghwa’s which makes sense since he’s a cancer moon conjunct rising. he NEEDS that, haha.
i’d say: you’re completely fine on having your own opinions on it! she seems like she has her own life to handle so i believe that this won’t get in her way. as she said, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.
don’t worry, you’re definitely not crazy haha. i was like this with my boyfriend before we started dating. but i just wanna let you know to not live like your life depends on it, just let it be~~ who knows? maybe someday their paths could cross, maybe not. let’s wait and see 🫶🏻
thanks for the ask again, love 🥹💞
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