#idk im kinda rambling here but i hope its clear
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professionalchaoticdumbass · 3 months ago
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to support people who don't want HRT:
don't put pressure on them to start
don't treat HRT as a universal desire
don't treat desire for HRT as a requirement for transness (or the inverse, not wanting HRT as an indicator of being "not really trans" aka straight-up transmedicalism)
treat them the exact same way you would any other trans person: with respect, acceptance, and kindness
reduce stigma around trans people who don't want to transition medically, but still want to do so socially
help them in other areas of their transition
to support people who do want HRT, but can't get it yet:
tell them about your own experience with obtaining HRT
walk them through getting it, if the process is the same/similar for both of you
find resources for them on obtaining HRT
fight for easier legal access to HRT
give them a safety net if their environment isn't supportive (this ranges from helping someone come out to providing shelter if necessary)
treat them the exact same way you would any other trans person: with respect, acceptance, and kindness
help them in other areas of their transition
obviously this is non-exhaustive, there are many more bullet points for both that i could list. a lot of things will actually complement each other and provide curb-cut effects for all trans people. my point is, you have to recognize that these groups have both similar and vastly different goals, but you need to wholeheartedly support both if you want the trans community to flourish.
it really bothers me when people say things like "support people who can't get/don't want HRT!!" because "people who don't want HRT" and "people who want HRT but can't get it" are two pretty distinct groups with different goals and who need different types of support
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siriuslylantsov · 5 months ago
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having finished episode eight i can definitely see the frank/karen thing a bit more.
i was also not upset when karen found out about elektra oops I WAS WAITINGGG for it to happen
i don’t like to be a hater but i love the chemistry they have as friends, the scenes where it’s just the three of them being happy are some of my favourites 😭
my love for elektra only continues to grow. i love her dynamic with matt (it is not healthy at all but it’s so captivating to watch 😭) and i know she’ll end up breaking my heart lol. i think i spoiled myself here on tumblr and apparently she dies? i’m still not sure cause i didn’t read the entire thing so don’t confirm it i’m still holding on to hope cause the post wasn’t that clear and i scrolled away so fastt. we’ll see.
i definitely thought ‘oh, this is it’ now on episode eight when they katana-ed her 😔
also i am so intrigued now that fisk has appeared again and wondering why frank did what he did !!!
hope my daily episode rambles aren’t annoying :’))
p.s: how’s ur day been? <3
omg yay! i just finished the punisher and suffice it to say youre in for some rlly good karen and frank moments... also quite a bit of angst.
i love when the three of them are friends 🤗🤗 like theyre literally my babies. matt and karen are so... complicated. like it all comes down to him being unable to prioritise but trust he gets better at in s3. i dont know where they end up tbh, esp with the new show coming but we just have to wait i guess
also found this on reddit a few weeks ago. interesting... i think.. idk 🤔
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right!!! like shes just so cool tbh and to see someone from matts past is super interesting and theres so much depth to her character and sooooo much lore. i love elektra lore.
ohhhhh i hate fisk. i think hes an incredible villain and character. but hes SUCH a cry baby. like bitch stfu
theres a rlly good fight scene in ep 9 that im looking forward to you getting to. def one of my favs in daredevil even though its a frank fight scene. rlly highlights him as the punisher. and its also just rlly fucking cool. the violence kinda gaged me! like you ate that up frankie.
honestly franks entire story is just devastating to me and i lit finished the punisher last night so its all so fresh in my mind. like you think its bad. from what you learn in daredevil but it gets SO MUCH worse 😖😖
im loving the rambles tbh. i only have one other friend to talk about dd to so this is super beneficial. i love talking about stuff too so not complaining!!
days been good! apart from the fact that i started my period but oh well. hope your days been good!!
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gyll-yee-haw · 1 year ago
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It's not really question, its more just unloading I guess lol
I recently read heartbreakingly yours and first off, it's amazing! You're seriously an amazing writer!
Secondly, I'm old (ish) and I probably should be past this whole reading fanfics and all but this one really broke me in a way.
Sorry to bore you with my life story but, I'm currently in a relationship. Been together for 4 years, he's a much older guy. There's a 12 year difference between us but what attracted me to him was how much he cared in the beginning.
That sense of protection that I got from him really drew me in. How he showed me off to the world and how much he cared about my emotions and effort he made to make me feel like I'm the only one in his world. I loved all of that about him. But of course that did not last. There's been infidelity on his part now for the 4th time it seems and as pathetic as I sound, I was the one fighting for this relationship. I fought, day and night, begged him to change. Begged him to see my worthiness but he hasn't change not one bit. I recently found out yet another affair with a coworker of his. I gave up so much in my life to be able to support him financially and emotionally. 4 years of fighting for something that's is one sided. It sucks to say the least.
I haven't been on tumblr for a very long time but l was scrolling and I happened to cross your page and I read your story and it made me very sad. I miss that feeling of being heard and being seen like if you were to walk away or simply not exist anymore, they would not be able to breathe on this earth that you were no longer walking on. I miss feeling like I'm worth the fight. That I'm not just a dime of dozen. That im not the only one putting in heart and soul to one another.
Idk maybe im rambling but reading it made me very sad. I miss the honeymoon stage. I wish I felt the butterflies in my stomach again, I miss the flirtatious moments and the intimacy of it all. I miss not having to worry all the time of what they are doing behind your back; that sense of peace. I miss my tranquility.
Your story has the happy ending that I'll never get.
But reading it gave a little comfort and distraction from my reality. Thank you. I may sound weird or lame but yeah, just wanted to share that haha.
Hi, honey! Sorry it took a while to reply, I haven't been here much
First of all, there's absolutely no need to apologize for opening up, you're really brave for doing so. Second of all, don't worry because there's no such thing as being too old for fanfics, you only have one life and you should spend it doing things you enjoy!
I'm really really touched by your story. I can't express how extremely sorry I am to hear all of this. I don't know you, but I know you don't deserve to feel the way you do.
As for my story making you sad... well, you shouldn't be. I am a very strong believer that good men only exist in fiction. We use fiction exactly because real life kinda sucks... I am honoured when my stories touch people and resonate with them.
I've been where you are. Years fighting for someone while that someone fucked another someone, among other terrible forms of abuse I've been submitted to. You are not alone and this is a safe space for you to escape reality, okay?
I need you to know that none of this is your fault, okay? And don't talk badly about yourself because no one is stupid for loving, it's very clear to me that the stupid one is always the one who doesn't appreciate the love they receive.
I really hope things get better for you, from the bottom of my heart. I can't give you much, but I know it helps to open up!
Stay safe <3
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haeroniel-doliet · 2 years ago
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A lil updates and thoughts going on rn! Mostly about art again :') putting it under read more tho bc it got away from me again all rambly lmao
Hooo wheee! Life has been a little busy huh. Finally going to work again even if it is pretty much part time, other hobbies im keeping up with, trying to keep up on life admin and its going almost well! Shame im realizing i havent worked on my drawings in well over a month now 😅
Part of me is slightly dreading going back to them rn bc ive spent hours and hours on them already and they still need many hours before i post them....
You know that one guy on like tiktok/youtube shorts whos a really friendly old artist with a hobbit hole studio and does like 1hr paintings that look incredible? Obviously i dont expect myself being rusty and also not with years and years of experience to do the same but wouldn't that be the dream? To be able to just create and be done and happy with it in just an hour or a few and move on. How sad it is how many things i have started and not finished, outting in hours and hours where it doesnt really make even a super significant difference.
Also its that dinluke positivity week thing (god i hope this doesnt show up in the tag lmao sorry) i was really hyped months ago thinking its great prompts and great time to partake in my favourite fandom especially before february 2023 inevitably changes the scene in some way! But all of a sudden mid november is here and thats kinda terrifying! I have no clear idea for any of them, nothing im like desperate to draw and my current drawing doesnt really fit them either. Im thinking maybe i should try like, giving myself idk 2 hrs max to just make something beginning to end and if i hate it its ok i dont have to post it. But maybe i will and it could be fun! Sure i am too tired to properly do anything but idk, even making one post could give me excitement and hype for things i used to enjoy and something that isnt just real life and like job related.
To be fair i could also go for the much more guaranteed dopamine boost and play a video game ive been thinking of playing again for months. Sure i dunno which to choose and im not like super inclined to anything even tho i would like to play multiple of them again, just playing alone is a little boring i guess.
The more i spend just overthinking the quicker my sunday will be over and ill have to do next week and god knows ill be busy!! I should try drawing bc its there floating in my mind and could be easier to slip in into the day routine to do a little here and there rather than like, playing skyrim for 30 mins loll. Or oblivion bc for some reason ive been missing it. Or battlefront, even tho that is really hard to play without really trying my hardest and getting readjusted to the pace of it
Alright ok im gonna set up my digital art stuff, im gonna challenge myself to sketch something on theme for all the prompts and see what ends up catching my attention. If i can do 1 or even a couple of them thatd be really really neat!
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calpalsworld · 4 years ago
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Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.
Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭
Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot 
Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?
I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)
Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:
Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.
Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.
^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???
Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?
Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.
Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx
Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.
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februaryberries · 5 years ago
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Study (?) tips that you don’t see on every study post
Hi gamers, I just finished my first year at college/university!!
This year was really a struggle for me because I was trying to get the help I needed for my mental health, and I did not succeed until literally the week before finals spring term. I just got diagnosed w ADHD and put on meds (thank god) and I’m excited for the next year to come.
Though this year was absolutely grueling I did discover some little tips that can really help ! This is coming from my experience w ADHD but it could relate to other neurodiverse learners as well ! Even if you are neurotypical some of these might help !! 
This post got really long so I’m gonna put it under the cut but, main Idea is bolded w a more in depth explanation underneath ( for those like me who see a block of text and go running)
In no particular order:
If you can/are up for it take a class before noon even if you are not a morning person. I am NOT saying take an 8am when u regularly go to bed at 4am! Bc that is dumb bb pls get some sleep. In my experience once I go to class my brain is like “oh things are happening now, it is actually a day and not just existing in a timeless hellscape.”
Once I am out of bed/out of my room I am at least mildly more productive for the rest of the day. Going to a class before noon means you are up and doing things for the day and early enough that you still have light. This ties into the next one
Start while it’s still light out!! At least for me I gain so much happiness from natural light/sunlight, and it is very hard for me to do things let alone START things once it’s dark out because my brain is like nope the day is over now. Plus in the fall/winter days days are getting shorter and shorter so it’s important to make use of as much daylight as you can. I feel like a plant w how much I rely on light to survive but it really does help! 
Put on ‘Real People’ clothes. This is something that really helps me, even if it’s just like, jeans and a turtleneck, maybe tucked in w a belt. I’ve found that when I put on academic-y clothes or like Adult clothes it helps me switch my brain into school mode. It’s kinda like putting on a uniform for work? If I’m in too loose of clothes or like pyjamas for example, I’m much less likely to be able to switch my brain into productive mode. For me especially its when i’m wearing tighter clothing rather than baggy ones? Like i said a turtleneck which like the sleeves are fitted to my arms, and jeans or pants that are fitted to my legs. I think it helps because it makes me more aware of my body in the space? Idk.  figure out what real people clothes feel like to you, and then have a couple of go to outfits you can slip on when you’ve been in a hoodie and sweatpants all day and really need to get some work done. 
On that note, put on shoes. For me along w the tight clothing, I do better in shoes, specifically ones that lace up and can be tight. Like hightop converse, or boots, or even dress shoes w laces. I think in a way my body needs to be contained so I can focus on something? I’m not sure why I feel like that but i’ve learned to work w it. Putting on shoes for me helps because
1. I’m not distracted by what I’m putting my bare feet on (i cannot stand wearing socks unless im wearing shoes so yes bare feet)
2. I’m not getting distracted by my floor n the fact that hey maybe i should sweep bc there are some crumbs sticking to my feet now.
And 3. You put on shoes when you are going to go outside and go somewhere. It’s like putting pyjamas on to go to bed, you’re brain associates those items with doing something, so putting on shoes can signal to your brain hey we are doing something now, and that something is work.
Talk to your teachers !! I understand sometimes you have a teacher from hell and honestly idk what to tell you at that point but in  a lot of cases teachers can be very understanding !! The amount of support I’ve gotten from my teachers this year is absolutely insane and 100% the only thing that made it so I didn’t get kicked out of college. Like reaching out to your teachers shows that you care! if you have to take a mental health day sometimes let them know !! i would always let my teacher know that I really wanted to be in class but I just couldn’t handle it that day. They also can help connect you to resources you didn’t know about ! 
Look into what resources your school has !! I was talking about how next year is gonna go now that I’ve been diagnosed and such with my friend, and how I was gonna contact the DRC (disability resource center) and she didn’t know you could get support for having ADHD!! Like I know you can get extensions on due dates, attendance forgiveness, and even potentially note taking assistance when you have ADHD and talk to them. even if you are medicated it doesn’t 100% solve everything and there are still ways to get support! Whether its study groups, writing centers/support, tutoring, or even contacting your drc or whatever your school has, it can really help!! I’m definitely going to take advantage of these resources if I can next year ! 
Find a place outside you can go to clear your head (or have a mental breakdown) 
I can’t even begin to count the amount of times i’ve been freaking out over something or stressed out of my mind and my room started to feel to stuffy and claustrophobic and i just needed to get OUT. try to make sure it’s somewhere safe and close that you can go to even at night. (maybe try to shoot a text to your best friend that you’re out and if you don’t let them know you’re home by a certain time to start raising alarm, your safety is the most important) I tend to like to be up high because i’m further away from people, and the streets and I’m closer to the sky.
My go to thinking/breakdown spot is the roof of the parking garage a block away. It has stairs that are easy access and the top levels are usually empty even during the day. It really helps me to just go out and listen to music and collect my thoughts sometimes. My head can start going a million directions at lightspeed and I need to stop and be present, and being outside helps. It’s a good way to regroup.
Spend 10 minutes picking up your desk/work space. I tend to let my room get cluttered and messy and out of control a lot, to the point where I know it’s going to take at least a couple hours to get it clean again. It is also hard to focus when you’re in a messy environment. I would stress myself out and be like “well i HAVE to clean my whole room because I can’t focus if my space isnt clean I cant start until I clean” and then I would put all of my productive energy into cleaning, and get maybe halfway done before burning out and going to bed.
You’re never going to get any work done if you keep in this mindset. So instead just spend 10 minutes picking up the garbage off your desk, put the dishes in the kitchen, and put things back in their place. Then you will have enough space to work on your assignment and that space will be free of clutter so it won’t be as stressful. 
DRINK WATER DRINK WATER DRINK WATER
Have a water bottle in front of you when you’re studying/in class. I get fidgety a lot when i’m in class/studying (thank u adhd) and so having a water bottle is a way for me to fidget I guess? Depending on the water bottle, you have little steps you have to do to drink that help u fidget,
for example: pick it up, take off the lid, drink, put the lid back on, set it down.
Or pick up, push button that opens drink hole (?), set back down.
When I have a water bottle on my desk it satisfies my need to do something with my body and comes with the bonus of staying hydrated, without me having to lose focus doing something else. Also you won’t get distracted by a sore throat or the realization that you are really thirsty.
Pay attention to why you’re not paying attention. Not everything that works for me is going to work for you, so you have to figure out what works for you. I started to notice that I would be uncomfortable or feel funny working when I was in baggy clothes and that helped me figure out I needed to wear real people clothes. If you find yourself getting distracted, take note of what is distracting you. maybe try literally making a list of things that distract you, so then you can identify patterns and how to combat them !
That’s all I have for now, I hope some of these could maybe help? All of these have helped me actually complete an assignment occasionally, and somehow keep my ass in college. I just want to say that my experience is my own and things that work for me aren’t going to work on every one. college can be really tough, especially your first year when you’re trying to figure everything out. I may not have all the answers but feel free to shoot me a message!! i’m here for you if you want to ramble about an assignment you’re fed up with or a teacher you hate or anything thats bothering you !! Everyone’s college (and life) experience is different so don’t feel bad if yours doesn’t look the same as the people around you ! Remember to take care of yourselves !!!
Have a good day :)
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ughitsnic · 5 years ago
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Do You Still Love Me?: Tom Holland
Tom Holland x Reader
Finally after nearly a week and with the help of the prompt list i finally finished this. its kinda sad I wont lie, so im sorry im currently very heart broken so yes i hope you enjoy, requests are open :)
Driving down these familiar roads was always hard, you drove in silence fighting back tears as you think about the last 3 years of your life, how you gave everything to one man. How you moved in together, traveled the world, sacrificed everything for his career. You slow to a stop at a red light. You let out a long shaky breath, you had not been back in so long. You look out of the window at the handful of people walking down their streets, how you and him once walked down the same streets hand in hand, not a care in the world your whole future together ahead of you. You swallow the lump in your throat as you look at the old apartment building. A smile forming as you thought back to the time where you both locked yourself out in the middle of the night to get a pizza, it was so cold, and he was freezing but despite that he gave you the sweatshirt off his back just so you could be warm. He was so caring, so loving with all the little things he did. You wipe your eyes as you drive down what seemed like a never ending road. The break up wasn't mutual, he believed it was. You didn't understand why but you were afraid to ask. Especially now because you see him having fun on social media. It had been 7 months but the wounds were still fresh, only for you it seemed. It appeared as though it had never happened to him. You spent so many nights in tears wishing he was lay next to you as you drift off to sleep, more often than you would care to admit. It hurt so much, you wish you could just forget, like he had. Was it ever real? Did he think of you? Did he read back on your texts? Did he still have all of your pictures, did he look at them every once in a while? It was dumb, you felt stupid that you were still hung up on him. You couldn't even look at his friends- your friends, but couldn't bring yourself to unfollow him on twitter. You were not fine, at all! You wipe your eyes as you parked up outside of your parents house. You check your phone, your heart racing as his name lit up your screen.
Tom: im back in London this weekend maybe we could hang out like old times
Tom: no pressure ive just been doing alot of thinking lately and I miss you
Whilst you were surprised to see his text, you couldn't bring your self to reply you couldn't hurt you self again… could you?
Throughout the week you looked back on the relationship, not only the good, but the bad. How you guys would get into fights about how you didn't want pizza again for dinner or how he would complain about you having to sleep with the TV on, or that he would go out drinking 3 nights in a row and he would reply that it was no big deal and that he was just living his life. Was all of the heart ache worth it for the good times. Cuddling in bed in the mornings stealing kisses as you would watch the sun rise, picnics in the park which would last all day watching movies and sharing headphones, karaoke nights that turned into karaoke mornings with multiple complaints from neighbors.
Of cause you had to text him back, you had to see him again and not just his pictures on Instagram. You wanted to hold him again, closer than you had ever done and not let him go. It was foolish, and you knew it. But here you are, sat in your car waiting outside of the cafe you spent so many hours together just talking about anything and everything. You see him get out of his car so you follow, adjusting your top as you step out. Your heart pounds as you lock eyes, forcing a smile you walk over, unsure of what to really say, Tom struggling too.  Neither of you spoke until you had gotten your drinks and sat on a table outside in the sun. you rest your sunglasses on your head.
“So” you clear your throat, “how have you been?”
“Good, really good actually” he breaths. “Well, honestly not great but good. Does that make sense, like I'm happy, I'm making movies, partying, meeting so many people but I could still be better” he rambles on, his hands moving as he spoke. You nod.
“I saw far from home the other day actually” you spoke slowly, his eyes lighting up.
“Did you like it?”
“Yep” you take another sip of your drink. “That mysterio guy was cute” you trail off, his smile fading quickly.
“That's not funny”
“It wasn't a joke. We aren't together. I can look at other guys Tom” you quickly regret saying anything, the tension was thick in the air making it almost impossible to breathe. You wanted to show him you were doing more than ‘good’ without him, that you were great, that you had moved on.
“What have you been up to?”
“Working mostly, i'm doing good though, Ive been saving to get my own place and maybe a cat… how Tessa?”
“She misses her mum” Tom confesses
“What?” you felt your palms sweat. His brown eyes full of sadness, like he could burst into tears any second. He quickly clears his throat.
“she can roll over now" he forces a smile, quickly moving on from what he had said.
"I don't believe that" you try to joke, thinking back to how hard it was to get her to sit and give paw. 3 full days you both spent sitting on the kitchen floor trying to get her to sit on command.
"I told you she was a smart dog. She's so hyper nearly all of the time. At night she brings a toy to bed" he gets his phone and shows you a picture. "She will only lie on your side of the bed now" you felt your eyes sting with fresh tears.
“Its her side of the bed now” your voice is quiet and full of sadness.
“Do you still love me?” tom questions. You were taken back, you couldn't even look him in the eyes. You open your mouth to speak but no words come out, quickly you wipe your eyes.
“Of Course i still love you, and I hate myself for it” you struggle. “You hurt me so bad Tom. I never wanted to break up, i never wanted to fight with you, i was willing to sacrifice so much more for you but none of that was ever good enough for you, i dropped out of university to come to america with you, i left my family, my friends, i quit my job. I sacrificed Christmases and birthdays to spend time with you and your family and your friends” your voice grows louder and louder the more you get worked up to the point where you were now crying, you dont bother to wipe the tears, ignoring that your makeup is now a mess. “Would i do it again? For you? Always” you voice cracks. “Because i love you. Do you love me?” you finally look up at him to be greeted with red eyes and tear stained cheeks.
“I- I” he struggles, both of your hearts breaking all over again. “I physically cannot put into words how much I love you and exactly how much I miss you y/n. I'm sorry I was so selfish, I was a shitty boyfriend and I was lucky for those 3 years and I should be grateful for those years but I want more. I want to wake up next to you, I want you to be the first person I see in the morning and the last I see before I close my eyes. I don't expect you to say yes, but i would love to take you out to dinner tonight, on a date at least 1 last time”
“Tom” you breath.
“I need an answer” he begs
“It's never going to be the same” you cry.
“That's the point!” he stresses. “That's the point! This time, i'm going to put you before me like i should have done before”
“I don't want you to put me first, I want to be your equal” you wipe your eyes with the back of your hand.
“So what do you say? dinner?”
sorry idk what that was either
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gray-warden · 5 years ago
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can u explain how butches and femmes are counterparts and not opposites? or how femmes arent like lipstick lesbians? im not trying to be argumentative im just a very confused gay girl who Wants to Understand
First of all, sorry for taking like 50 years to answer your ask! I hope you still see the answer, though femmes and butches come from the same piece of history, where they were two sides of the same coin, a sort of “ying and yang”, if you’ll forgive the cliché. it’s more of an attraction to something that’s different but also the same in some ways, someone who might balance you out in a way in their differences but still gets where you’re coming from. it’s not uncommon for femmes to have previously thought they were butches because they felt a connection to the butch/femme history and dynamic but also felt alienated from womanhood due to their lesbianism. plus, two things being seen as opposites kinda often implies that there’s something in between those things, which isn’t the case here. butch/femme isn’t a “lesbian gender binary”, and the whole “futch scale” thing isn’t how it works, it was sort of a joke that got out of hand and led to many people misunderstanding identities that are important to many people. a stone butch isn’t just a super masculine and tough butch. “soft butch” meaning “butch who isn’t super muscular and who is sensitive” ignores that those things don’t make any butch less butch in the first place.femme is just an older identity and it just kinda goes hand-in-hand with butch because they have shared origins, and originally, in the past, the typical dynamic was a butch and a femme being together or seeking each other. it’s about complementing each other by having differences that work with each other, rather than differences that clash, and by having similarities that bring deeper understanding. of course stuff has changed, butches can date other butches ofc (there’s not really a different term for “gnc lesbian who exclusively or mostly seeks other gnc women”, and butchness, while it is a specific identity and a sort of “role”, is very associated with a specific kind of appearance. plus, many butches hear some dumbass shit about butchness even among wlw, so some of us might seek other butches so we finally feel understood. or just because they find other butches hot, which, in my opinion, is very understandable lol).also, a femme doesn’t necessarily have to always be super typically feminine, there’s an association with an older type of identity or role, so many femmes these days might incorporate a few things that could be considered gender nonconforming, like not shaving, not wearing makeup, having super short hair or buying some clothing articles from the men’s section (usually not all at once i guess? idk, i’m just giving a few examples). some might not use “she/her” and might not really see themselves as part of womanhood.or they might be very traditionally feminine, as many are.of course there are lesbians who might do any of those things but aren’t femmes, but that’d be because they just aren’t drawn to the identity, don’t long for a certain type of dynamic in their life, don’t feel connected to that part of history. most lesbians just aren’t butches or femmes. it’s not a bad thing, or a deep thing, most lesbians just aren’t! it’s a subculture, and that’s for a reason.but basically, butches and femmes just have more in common than we have differences. they’re complementary identities.originally, in specific contexts where those terms came up, butches and femmes were just seen as the possible different “types” of lesbians who seeked each other for relationships, sex, companionship, understanding, etc. it was originally a thing that came from lesbian bars, frequented by working-class women. so many butches and femmes worked in the same types of places (factories, often), so they still lived in the same type of context (though many femmes were sex workers, and that’s also an important thing to know, i don’t wanna seem like i’m ignoring it, but i’m not going deep into it bc in that case what they shared was still that they were also working class). of course many butches and femmes now aren’t working class, but those are the origins of those identities, and we should never forget who came before us.of course there are lots of differences between how lesbian working class bars were a few decades ago and how butch/femme is as a subculture now. the current subculture largely relies on writings from people who were always butches and always femmes back in the day, rather than those who sort of had to make themselves fit into one of those things because that was the expectation in those bars but otherwise didn’t feel connected to a certain identity or role outside of the specific context of the bars and relationships. so the modern butch/femme thing is, first of all, a subculture, because we don’t want people who don’t really connect to being a butch or a femme to feel like they have to fit in there, because if you don’t then you just don’t and there’s obviously nothing wrong with that, that’s why it’s a subculture, most lesbians just aren’t part of it, the same way most people aren’t parts of other subcultures. and since it’s so very based on the historic records left by people who were always butches and always femmes, regardless of where they were, who they were with, etc, it’s also about a constant identity now, rather than being someone who calls themselves a butch in a context where it’s about women seeking women but otherwise doesn’t really feel a connection to the identity in my experience, many femmes get annoyed at women who say they’re femme4femme bc they say that that’s why the term “lipstick lesbian” exists in the first place, as most women who call themselves “femme4femme” usually just mean “feminine woman seeking feminine woman”, using “femme” to just mean “feminine”. so that’s why there’s often an annoyance there.i’m not saying that a femme has to /exclusively/ be into gnc women to be a femme. just that being a femme and being a feminine lesbian don’t mean the same thing, and generally, femmes in the current butch/femme subculture often have at least a preference for butches, due to a desire for a specific kind of dynamic in relationships and anything surrounding that. there’s just a specific kind of historical connection and a sort of role connected to butchness and femmeness. it’s a subculture that’s more than just about what you look like and what the people you’re into look like. “butch” gets tied to a certain kind of appearance a lot more than femme does, as it’s a kind of appearance that stands out on its own, without the person saying anything about their identity, so many femmes rely on that connection to a specific part of history and certain desires and dynamics and roles a lot when it comes to their identity as femmes.lipstick lesbian is a term that sometimes just refers to very feminine lesbians, but very often specifically to feminine lesbians who exclusively or at least mostly seek other feminine lesbians. and to my knowledge there’s not any kind of deeper connection to any older identity or culture there, it’s like “masc4masc” or something like that, it’s just a description of your personal kind of aesthetic and the kind of aesthetic you find desirable (i’m not trying to imply there’s anything wrong with that, of course! just that it’s not the same as being a femme, but of course two things not being the same doesn’t automatically mean one is better than the other, which is something i want to make clear throughout this whole huge answer to your ask).idk, i’m no expert or anything, and i’m also just not great at explaining things, i tend to ramble a bit and i sometimes express myself in a way that was clear enough for other people, and sometimes i end up talking a lot. also, there just isn’t much butch/femme history where i’m from, at least not any /recorded/ history, there aren’t always words that describe the exact same things (of course there are people like me and people who are like many femmes, though, we’ve always existed, but there’s not really much of a butch/femme type of community thing because our history and words are different, and there’s generally fairly little LGBT or specifically wlw or lesbian history recorded), so this is about what i know of butch/femme culture in the US and online (since the latter relies on the former).there are a lot of people out there who talk abt butch/femme a lot, people who have read and watched and experienced more stuff connected to that, so you could ask people like that if you need more information (you can ask me, of course, i’m just saying they’ll know more), esp when it comes to femmes, since i don’t have their specific perspective on differences between femmes vs feminine lesbians who aren’t femmes, or on the femme4femme thing, which means i’m only talking based on my understanding of what they say, rather than from personal experience as a femme, just because i’m not one. (part of the reason why it took me a while was bc i asked some people i know, one butch and one femme, both have more knowledge about this stuff than me, esp the latter, to see if there were any inaccuracies they could see or something i didnt express well)
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macbookpro-hard-drive · 6 years ago
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Hi!! idc which character but could I maybe get some like trauma comfort headcanonnons?? If not that’s totally okay, no pressure!! I hope you have a lovely day/night!
heck yea man
time to indulge y’all in my fantasies of someone comforting me when i open up to them about all the baggage i have 
mm.. i think im gonna do short headcanons for all four bmc boys because theyre just. my immediate comfort characters when it comes to writing
if someones interested ill do more hcs for the gals tho!
all of these are about opening up whoopsies
so uhhh lets start w the fact im not gonna try to specify said trauma. if i do, dont rly… put too much thought into it. but im gonna try to keep the event itself a blank slate.
jeremy heere
i think jeremy’s the kind of dude who like. doesnt know how to respond at first? like… when you open up to him, he’s more shocked than anything
not because you’re opening up to him (although he would always have a small ‘they really trust me, dont they?’ internal moment) but because of what happened to you
and to establish it: going into this relationship, he was aware of your baggage. you warned him the moment things started getting serious between you two, and you had never elaborated
but here he is, sitting next to you in his bedroom one hot, summer night in the summer between sophomore and junior year
and you finally open up to him, and he just… stares at you at first. it’s very nerve-wracking because you just kinda told him and you set out to apologize
when he just sorta. gently takes your hand and apologizes that you had to go through that
and he probs make a small comment that he’s glad you’re comfortable enough and trust him enough to tell him this since he knows from experience that opening up isnt the easiest thing in the world. 
and hes soft. theres no kisses to make things better, nothing more than him maybe holding you if you’re comfortable with it - because his stomach sorta dropped the moment you said what happened and kissing you in this instant would feel… wrong
he’s just very gentle. every move he makes with you, he asks you first for consent - whether it’s just him asking to hold you, or asking if you’d be okay with sleeping next to him again right after you told him all of this because sometimes reliving that sort of thing can mess a person up
more than anything, jeremys extremely understanding and gentle when it comes to comforting you. he might press a kiss into your hair, but that’s the most romantic he’d ever get at this time
michael mell
michael, on the other hand, is good for distractions. so you two are sitting in his car, driving aimlessly for a bit because sometimes, when neither of you can sleep, you go on quiet car rides together and maybe ramble or just listen to music
and something about that night made you want to open up. you ask him to pull over and he probably makes some small joke until he does so and sees the way you’re looking at him
and he listens. he goes dead silent as he listens to you tell him everything - which isnt like michael. usually he’s much more expressive, but here? here he’s just quiet. and he stays quiet until you’re through.
and i think he’d immediately pull you into a hug if he knew you’d be okay with it. and he apologizes over and over and tells you that as long as he’s here, he’s not going to let that happen to you again if he can help it.
and he traces circles in your back as he just holds you, and maybe you’re quiet or maybe you’ve gone silent and retreated inward - but he holds you nonetheless
and when he pulls away, he smiles at you and asks if you wanna keep talking about this or if you wanna just go back to riding and pointing out stupid signs around town or if you just want to go home
and if you want, he’s happy to distract you with dumb stories that happened in his classes last semester - and about how one of his professors seems to never be where he’s expected to be, joking about how he’s totally a cryptid 
and its sweet. he doesnt force you to open up anymore than you already want to, but theres this moment where he starts to go quiet because what you told him really starts to eat away at him
and he finally looks over at you and he just… he says he loves you. maybe he’s said it a few times before, or maybe he’s said it a million - but it feels so much more weighted in that moment that you probably start crying
and he pulls over again to comfort you and its just… really soft and sweet and good
jake dillinger
jakey d, the light of my life. i like to think that when he shows up to your apartment one afternoon, he’s sorta joking about how this is pretty early for a booty call yknow-
you just sorta laugh along with him, sorta forcing yourself to stay happy until you finally sit down with him
and he knows. he knows you’ve been through something because, like i said with jeremy, you would have told him beforehand that you have baggage.
and i think he, out of the four, is the most unsure about how to respond. because sure, jake broke both his legs and had to deal with the aftermath of losing his house and everything he had, and the squips and the shit that follows in a situation like that, but… he’s never hurt like that and he just doesnt know what to say
and i dont think he does
i think he probably literally excuses himself to the bathroom and immediately starts googling how to respond when someone opens up
and he probably texts his friends asking how should he respond when someone opens up to him about their past trauma
and when he finally comes back to you, he sees you’ve kinda broken down a bit because - fuck, how else could you really respond when your boyfriend has to leave because he just doesnt have a response and you assume that hes gonna leave you because of your baggage
and i think hes immediately in front of you, sorta kneeling in front of the couch and apologizing profusely because he left
and he admits that he didnt know how to respond because he didnt… expect that you’d open up to him like this
and then he sorta apologizes and clarifies that like… he just didnt know what to say
and you start to apologize because fuck, thats a lot to drop on a person-
he stops you. he gently holds your hands and looks you in the eye and he promises that this didnt change anything. you’re still you, and he still loves you - no matter what you’ve faced in the past. and he thanks you for trusting him. 
and he also just apologizes again because he didnt mean to scare you when he walked out - he was just… scared of saying the wrong thing, or not saying anything at all, right after you told him what happened to you
but he still loves you and he makes sure thats clear
rich goranski
out of the four, rich is probably the most equipped when it comes to trauma. hes dealt with a lot of shit and has gotten a lot of help for his shit and so he has a vague idea of how to like… respond, basically.
so when he finds you crying in the kitchen at three in the morning, he immediately knows something is off.
youve talked about things before. about having baggage, hinting at your past, but you never outright told him what happened to you to make you so distrusting of people, and so bitter about the most mundane things that feels like its destroying your friendships
so when you open up to him about what happened, hes quiet. he lets you talk and he asks you what you need right now - comfort, a distraction, ect - because everyone is different and he wants to make sure he’s doing whats best for u
and he’s more than happy to do what you need him to. he probably sits down across from you and takes your hand for a moment to tell you he��s glad you trust him enough to open up about this
because honestly, rich probably has had those talks before with him opening up about his own shit - mostly finally opening up about everything to therapists and them thanking him for being trusting enough to open up about this trauma he’s gone through
so its just… something he feels is right to do in the moment
and i dont think rich has 100% opened up about the squip to you at this point. hes been meaning to, and he wants to, but he’s talked about having some shit in his past and hes been waiting until he was ready to tell you - mainly whenever he was sure y’all are serious bc he doesnt just wanna open up to just anybody, yknow?
he kinda wants to be able to envision a future there
but i think ultimately this ends w rich and u going back to bed with rich holding you and sorta aimlessly rambling about how much he loves you like the sleepy dumbass he is
and its just… very soft
thats all ive got sfkshdf but thank u for this request it was nice to write something like this since idk i have a lot of fantasies about things like this
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fanartfunart · 6 years ago
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Hey, could you give me a few tips on writing dyslexic characters? Sorry if I’m being rude…
Oh no problem!
First things first: not everybody experiences things (like dyslexia) the same, so, there’s things about the individual that will shift how they react and adjust to their dyslexia and just how the dyslexia is itself.
I personally found a lot of ways to make my dyslexia work for me. (And mine tends to get noticeably worse when I’m stressed and/or have been doing a lot of talking.)
A: do some research about the definition of it, just, know the science of it a bit. (you don’t have to be an expert, I mean, I certainly am not, but it does help to have an idea of the various symptoms and how things are treated… and, it’s not a childhood thing, it’s a life-long thing. There’s just ways it gets better/worse in certain times) AND, it’s not always recognized/diagnosed.
B: explore many ways people react to it. I personally tend to laugh about it, but someone else could very possibly just avoid reading/writing, and another person could get frustrated every time they need to read/write/talk and it’s not working.
That said, here’s some general things I experience and others probably do too: (under the cut because I began to ramble.)
Id say the most frustrating things are writing something down, and then feeling like its wrong, but knowing it is right? I cant stop the feeling that it looks wrong. It just does. (the opposite occurs sometimes, but, usually it’s ‘that’s wrong. why is that wrong, it’s not actually wrong??’ (howeVer, usually, you just. can’t tell. it’s ‘…maybe that’s right…. ?’)
Dyslexia effects your ability to differentiate words that sound the same but look different (effect and affect being a very annoying example…. I’ve looked up the differences so often…. it’s also for things that look similar but sound different…. but that’s less common in my experience)
They’ll say words like its read pretty commonly (notably if they learned the word from reading it…which is half my vocab). …and usually not notice unless someone corrects them (which never stops getting embarrassing because “that’s the tenth time i’ve said it like that and been corrected why the frick cant I say it right, how do I keep forgetting?”)
Reading and re-reading and re-reading again. Oh my god it takes me forever to read a paragraph of any book if there’s things that my brain skips, flips or entirely jumbles. It has caused me much test anxiety. (Especially with timed tests…..god I can complain about testing and how terrible it is as a dyslexic individual for a long time)
Left or right? No clue. And the “Make an L shape with your hands and whichever looks like like an L is left” does not work because my brain doesn’t know what a L is supposed to look like. (Ive heard that so often you have no idea.)  HOWEVER the thing I found does work is raising your dominant hand (mine is the right) and going “oh! This must be the right because my dominant hand is on this side!” Is so much easier. (And I almost always say the wrong direction. “I’m gonna go left” “no you need to go right” *points to the right* “yeah exactly.” “You said left!” “Oh….” Is a common conversation)
(on that note I personally feel like im always facing north??? Idk if this is a dyslexia thing or im just weird)
Google and dictionaries are both the enemy and friends when trying to spell words right. (“How am I supposed to find this word when all I know is that it either starts with either a or maybe it was e??”)
Vowels are the worst…they always switch up. (a and e are evil in particular.)
b and d being next. and s and c …and p and q (How I remember is “bed” looks like a bed….. your character may have similar processes to make sure they’re doing it right)
(idk, anywhere you can flip or duplicate or misplace letters when writing, I’ve probably done it.)
Honestly, learning any and all languages is hard. Especially things like accents and spelling.
“I said that backwards” is a pretty common statement (in my vocabulary at least). Just…accidentally switch the subjects or verbs of a sentence and just- wait what. (I’ve also HEAR things all odd sometimes… like, It takes me a second to process some sentences because they sound backward and weird to me. sometimes I just wait to answer a question as my brain catches up, but sometimes I just go ‘did you just say ‘nonsense that kinda follows the same length/key sounds as what you actually said but is still nonsense, but I didn’t catch that’)
I ended up in those remedial classes in elementary? where they pull you out of class and give you minute-tests and feed you sweets because you’re a stressed out child because you feel dumb in comparison to your peers. and that’s all I remember about it.
IDK man, elementary was pretty much a series of me taking longer than everyone else on literally everything and then worrying about it. (then I went to online school and my life was improved by 100%) ((this might just be me but I was kinda always split between trying to focus on reading and listening to people and I never actually was able to focus on either properly and so I never properly absorbed the information?…feels like a dyslexia thing now that I think about it))
Cursive and calligraphy is actually…really nice? ….Yea idk. I was obsessed with cursive when I started to learn it.
Vague directions/questions are TERRIBLE. Like, its 10 times worse when I’m nervous or embarrassed or tired, but I’ve stumbled trying to properly figure out the thing I’m missing from people’s statements that they’ve assumed was clear. (like, “Look at the red dot” “I don’t see a dot?” “uh, right there?? right in front of you?” “I wasn’t LOoooking there. I thought this was a ‘find the red dot’ thing not a ‘just look straight ahead’ thing.”)
Oh and I like puns because it’s like being dyslexic on purpose! >w<
OK wow…. I hope that….kinda helped? IDK? (I probably haven’t even touched on everything, but that’s all I can think of right now.)
TDLR:
I’d say just be aware of where it COULD be a problem, but, overall, your character won’t be stumbling over words ALL DAY.  They’ll have developed ways around it, even if they haven’t been diagnosed or if they never got help.
AND, there’s different forms and degrees of dyslexia…. mines pretty mild honestly, again, most of my issues are exasperated when I’m tired/nervous (and noticeable dyslexia habits kinda makes me embarrassed and nervous which kinda feeds into itself.) Some people’s dyslexia is most noticeable w/ written word, others are more auditory/vocal. It all depends. ^w^
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chocojjk-sideblog · 7 years ago
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thank you! take the time you want 😘here's my request: when the reader was little she used to be debbie in billy elliot with tom and she had a crush on him but he liked this girl megan (he said in an interview that she was his first kiss lol hope you remember) anyway the reader grew up and she is a singer,actress and dancer only for musical theatre,and one time tom went to see something like les miserables or idk and he saw her and he has this feeling that he knows her so he goes to find her?)
Tom and Harrison were in Los Angeles for the week and since a show was promised to them by their lovely friend, Zendaya, the three were seated in the fifth row of Pantages Theatre. The golden lights illuminated the chamber beautifully as they all relaxed into their vibrant red seats, waiting for the show to start.
As he sat there astounded, Tom couldn’t help but ponder about his early days performing in Billy Elliot. The feeling of nervousness as you remain backstage, waiting for the spotlight. The feeling of ease once you’re on stage - the only thing on your mind is putting on a good show. Finally, the feeling of euphoria as you come in contact with the broad smiles letting you know that the show was a success. He wondered if he would’ve ever gotten a chance to perform in this beautiful theatre if he stayed.
Tom continued to ponder when his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by darkness. And then - a spotlight. The show has begun. “Beauty and the Beast.” We all know the story, it starts off with the Beast and it’s beautiful rose. 
The eerie music finally transitioning, y/n appeared on stage in her commoner outfit and has taken the full spotlight. While she focused on hitting her notes correctly and immaculately playing her role, the only thing that the boy in the audience could think about was where he has seen her. He couldn’t quite remember who she was but he was certain that he has seen her face before. Also, her voice, it was  such a sweet but familiar sound to him. Tom continued to rack his brain for information but as much as he tried, the answer he was searching for unsuccessfully came to him.
As the show went on, the more aggravated Tom found himself to be. y/n was now wearing the beautiful yellow gown, making her the brightest star on stage, yet he still had no idea who she was. So captivated by the sight in front of him, she has completely distracted the boy from thinking. Her hair - swaying perfectly to the rhythm of the music. Her eyes - showing every emotion. Her lips - delivering every line with the passion he desired. Tom Holland was definitely flustered.
~
The show has finally ended, everyone joining their hands together as they gave a big round of applause, wide smiles etched on their faces. The light has now focused its attention on the audience, lighting up the once dark room. Then she saw him. The boy she has been pining over for years. She couldn’t help but think her eyes were deceiving her. Making direct eye contact with her, the boy gave her a slight nod while she gave him a small smile in return. A miniscule, yet meaningful moment between the two.
Tom was just about to leave the theatre with his friends, when his blonde headed best friend grabbed him by the arm. “What are you doing bro? Don’t you wanna personally congratulate her on her first broadway show?” Harrison inquired. ‘But who is her’ Tom thought to himself, all while nodding along to Harrison, the identity of the girl capturing his mind.
“C’mon, we’re wasting time, lets go backstage,” Harrison announced, grabbing the clueless boy along with him. 
Tom, still lost in his thoughts, haven’t realized that he was now standing in front of the girl that has occupied his thoughts for the past three hours.
“Hi Tom, it’s nice to see you, I hope you enjoyed the show,” y/n thanked him.
“Uh y-yeah, I-i did, you did a fantastic job uhm - ?” his eyebrows furrowed together as he thinks of what he should call her. Usually he would go for the name, but since he never figured it out, should it be love? Darling? or is that too forward?
y/n, noticing the pause, realized that the boy in front of her has no clue who she was. Clearing her throat, she spoke “You don’t know who I am, do you?”
“I know who you are!, I just, uhm, can’t remember your name,” Tom replied, defensively, scratching the back of his head.
“y/n. My name is y/n,” she said with a tight smile, trying to hide how hurt she was by the comment. Once Tom heard her name, everything clicked. She was a Debbie.
“You were a Debbie?!” he pointed out excitedly.
“Yeah, i was a Debbie,” she returned, giving the boy a genuine smile. ‘At least he remembered where he knew me from’, she thought to herself.
“How come i don’t remember your name?” he said to himself, not expecting the girl to hear him.
“Well, you kinda had your full attention on Megan Jossa,” y/n says chuckling. “I don’t blame you though, she was gorgeous,” she added.
Tom gave her a smile, “she was, but uh- i think i just got caught up with the acting,” he explained.  “How come you remember me? It’s not like we were paired up together? Right?” inquired Tom.
“No we weren’t,” she said giggling, “and i know you because well, for starters, youre Spiderman,” Tom chuckled upon hearing this. “-and well, i kinda had the biggest crush on you back then.” y/n confessed as she looked down to her shoes, avoiding his gaze.
Tom couldn’t believe what she said. He wasn’t the type to make the first move, hell, he hasn’t been in a relationship for years and have only ever really had one girlfriend. So the girl’s confession left him shocked in place, not really knowing what to say or do with the information.
y/n quickly realized the awkward tension that settled above the two, rambling, she added “i-i don’t anymore though.”
“Oh,” Tom murmured. The tension at a peak level of awkwardness. “Well, i don’t know anything about you now to have a crush on you, is what I mean” she added quickly. y/n didn’t quite know why she was explaining herself, it’s not like she owed him an explanation. However the the look on the boys face was enough for her to know that she took a jab at his heart.
Tom looked at her finally catching her gaze, “well, why don’t we change that?” hinted Tom, as he shot her one of his million dollar smiles. “Tomorrow night, at 7. You and me. I’ll pick you up?” he said confidently. However on the inside, his newly found confidence was confusing him every second. He just wished that it won’t backfire on his face, i mean, he’s seen this be done in the movies and thought that it was cute. Hopefully, she felt the same way.
“I’d love that,” y/n replied, a small smile plastered on her face.
(( omygod i finally finished this, i had to write this 2x adfjasl;kfjl,, idek if im happy with this…..BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST I WAS VERY EXCITED TO WRITE IT UNTIL MY DUMBASS ACCIDENTALLY DELETED EVERYTHING LMFAO ))
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taegiiseok · 7 years ago
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god okay so this is going under a cut because I have some things to say and the recent allforbts thing has kinda prompted me into word vomiting finally abt it but it’s been on my mind for a while and I’ve just rlly gotta say these things so,,, don’t mind me I just need to ramble. For some emotionally charged bangtan related rambling pls read more
Now I’ve been an army for a while now, I’d say a dedicated stan since early 2016, and before that I was just aware of them as a whole but I stopped paying attention to kpop for a while there and it was unfortunately during their debut days,,, I always wish I had started paying close attention again sooner because these boys changed my life. And I don’t say that lightly,, I mean it with every ounce of sincerity I can muster. They made me happy, and they made me realize that just giving up isn’t the answer when u rlly want something. They let me know that they’re unafraid to be sincere with their feelings so I shouldn’t be afraid of being sincere in mine either. They literally opened my eyes when I needed it most and I’m forever grateful for that,, and I cannot express properly just how much respect and love I have for these men because of that. They’ve put so much of themselves into their music and into their careers and even when things weren’t picking up as quickly as they wanted they still pushed and carried on and idnskskns NO WORDS CAN TELL U HOW MUCH THOSE EXAMPLES MEAN TO ME. Their honesty and strength give me strength and I just,,,, I LOVE THEM. TO END THIS RAMBLING BIT HERE,, I rlly rlly love them. I’d do a lot for their happiness because they’ve given me the tools to take back some of my own happiness and there’s rlly no way to show u,, or them,, all the gratitude I feel for that.
SO NOW THAT THATS OUTTA THE WAY & we’re clear on all of the above,, I now want to say that I have a deep love for my fellow armys that are truthful on why they stan and that feel a deeper connection for the boys other than just on a shallow level. If ur here for the right reasons and u just want to show the boys support in any way possible, I support u !! I love u and I would love to speak abt the boys with u if u ever need a friend ! Wanna talk abt how much they motivate u ? Let’s do it up boo ! Wanna speak abt mental health issues ? I know abt those on a personal level babe ! U just wanna cry abt how cute one of them looked on a certain day ?? Come my way,, I GOTCHU !! I am an open ear and there is always an open door to my inbox and messager if any of u ever want to talk because I care abt ur well being. I care abt u. I care abt the boys and I care abt my fellow armys because at the end of the day we all are striving for happiness and peace of mind in this world and why not have an open heart to that ?? At least, that’s what this fandom was originally abt. Being here for bangtan and being there for our fellow armys.
That’s kinda what it’s always been abt in my mind and to see how toxic things have gotten in the last year ((specifically the last few months I’d say)) with streaming and voting and buying albums and singles to chart and whatnot like gUYS...... they just want your support ? They just want to make us happy with their music and performances because doing what they do makes them happy and seeing people LITERALLY try to guilt others into thinking they’re not real fans because they aren’t buying the title track fifteen times,, or they can’t afford to buy all 4 albums at least once, or they’re not promoting as hard as they can is 😣😣😣 SO BEYOND RIDICULOUS TO ME. It’s gross !!! It’s not right and it isn’t what bangtan are abt ?? These boys have always been sincere with us,,, always wanted to shoot for the stars but would always fall short and once they started gaining some real traction and reaching those stars they stopped aiming so high. The boys are happy! They have accomplished so much, and they never expect /anything/ from us as fans. They only wish for our happiness and support. They’ve said it time and time again and yet we still have people leading lynches against others for not voting on stupid polls ? For not hashtagging every tweet with a voting or trending tag for our favs ? For not being able to afford to buy albums or singles ?? Or hell,, some are even saying others need to put forth more of their effort to contact people they don’t know to let them buy singles for them ?? Really ?? It’s truly gotten so bad and I’m so sad whenever I open social media anymore 😔 people have lost sight of what the whole purpose of stanning a group even means & idk ,, it just breaks my heart.
If u only want to support bangtan by trying to break records they don’t even hope to break then go ahead but don’t shame others for not joining u. Let people be a fan and show support in their own ways and just know that even if some of us aren’t publically claiming to buy so many albums and so many singles,, we very well may be doing that on our own and out of the goodness in our hearts because we want the best for the boys that make our lives a little bit brighter. The recognition for awards and records just isn’t at the forefront of our minds because their music and happiness comes first, and so do ours. Its also not nice to pressure others into doing something they may not be able to do.
And at the end the day we all have our own lives and own narratives to live out,, and not all of those narratives involve intensively stanning a boy group we love 25/7. WE GOTTA WORK AND MAKE A NAME FOR OURSELVES BABES WE DONT GOT TIME FOR THAT AND THE BOYS UNDERSTAND AND SUPPORT THAT!! THEY DONT WANT ANY OF U,,, AND I MEAN //ANY// OF U PUTTING THEM BEFORE YOURSELF !!
It’s like they said in magic shop,, we gave them the best of them so we need to give us the best of us,,, and if that means putting urself before them sometimes ?? BLS DO OHMYGODBDJS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !! Break some personal records for urself !! Buy ur own mixtape fuxkdnsn IDK JUST ,,, loving bangtan is good and they’re amazing and I would love everyone to show their support for them but I say that because those boys want u to support u first. Don’t listen to people telling u you’re a bad fan because unless ur starting rumours and stalking them ur rlly not !! There is no such thing as a bad fan if ur just trying to show support for artists that u rlly love in your own way.
OKAY IM DONE. I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING BECAUSE THAT ASK RLLY SET ME OFF AND THEN I STARTED THINKING ABT THE LIVES AND LOGS THE BOYS HAVE DONE AND EVERY TOUR DATE THEYVE PUT THEIR ALL INTO AND HOW MUCH THEY GIVE US AND WHILE WE GIVE THEM BACK SO MUCH IN RETURN THEYRE ALWAYS SAYING ITS ENOUGH AND I JUST RLLY WANT TO REMIND PEOPLE THAT YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT IS ALWAYS ENOUGH !! YOU ARE ENOUGH !!
I LOVE U 💞
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from-a-distant-end · 8 years ago
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003 Yoite
OH GOD??? I WASNT EXPECTING???
003 | Give me a character & I will tell you
How I feel about this character: I love him. I do. He’s problematic but I love him. He’s dramatic and scared and so very human. I wish he wasn’t so set on his goal to be erased and I feel like him not changing his mind based on alllllllll the things that he went through, all the self-discoveries, all the challenges he overcame both by himself and with Miharu, and how he still was like “MEH. JUST ERASE ME, MIHARU. I KNOW YOU LOVE ME AND WANT A FUTURE TOGETHER AND I KNOW THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT ME AND WANT ME AROUND AND TBH I DO TOO BUT I RUINED SO MANY THINGS” *no he didn’t* “SO I NEED TO BE ERASED SO YOU WON’T EVER BE MISERABLE WITH MY DEATH I NEED TO ATONE TO MY. BIRTH.” ??????? UM NO apologies but he didn’t have to do that ??? I HAVE FEELS, but logical ones I hope. I feel like. It was bad storytelling. In real life (not like it’s possible but I digress) I think I’d be a lil bit more readily understanding, but from a writer’s perspective, to put your reader through that entire adventure with him and grow with him and learn so much about him and just have him not grow enough to see what Miharu saw in him (OUR MAIN PROTAG WHO WE SEE EVERYTHING FROM AND HOPEFULLY LEARNED TO LOVE THAT DYING BOY WITH ALL OUR HEARTS) was kind of the the biggest let down. Miharu had all the power and more to become happy, to make Yoite happy too, Yukimi, everyone. But Yoite couldn’t let it go and forced Miharu to find happiness elsewhere. Put everyone through that fuckton of pain just so Yoite wouldn’t be in pain himself. Which I get. I know I’m rambling. He has every right to be selfish (EVEN IF ITS NOT ENTIRELY SELFISH) after what he went through for his life since childhood. Like I said though, I just think it was bad writing and would have been more satisfying of a story had. It not done. That.
All the people I ship romantically with this character: AHA ANYWAY. shoving aside all physical properties of characters, I only ship Miharu and Yoite although I do ship Miharu with Yoite’s brother TOO but that’s not. What this is abo- YEAH.
My non-romantic OTP for this character: ....? You mean like? I DON’T UNDERSTAND TBH? MIHARU AND YOITE CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT, ROMANTIC OR NOT ROMANTIC JUST BE GODDAMN HAPPY DAMMIT
My unpopular opinion about this character: HE’S KINDA SELFISH SOMETIMES. NOT ALWAYS. YES HE CAN BE, HE’S ALLOWED TO BE. I NEVER SAID HE COULDNT. I JUST SAID THAT HE IS. I ALWAYS GET MORE AND MORE EMOTIONAL THE LONGER I TALK ABOUT THIS SERIES I APOLOGIZE AGAIN. HE NEEDS TO FUCKING TALK. HE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS. YES I GET ITS A CHARACTER TRAIT BUT IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT OR WRITING STYLES OR STORYTELLING. I WISH HE’D TALK. I ANSWERED AN ASK LIKE A DECADE AGO COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT BUT HERE I GO AGAIN BC IT STILL IRKS ME. TALK. CHILDREN. CONVERSATION IS GLORIOUS. um what else. I mean. I kinda said it already. I know Miharu isn’t good at talking about how he feels EITHER, and when he did try, he was usually interrupted, but I JUST. I feel like he forced Miharu to find happiness without him, to grow stronger, or what have you, but I just feel like him doing that was a letdown. He didn’t talk about his feelings, Miharu didn’t get to- IM. gdi. HE DIDN’T HEAR MIHARU OUT. HE JUST. “THIS IS WHAT I WANT AND I NEED AND WANT YOU TO RESPECT THAT. AND HELP ME? PLEASE?” BUT THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS. OR AT LEAST, THAT’S NOT HOW IT SHOULD WORK. BE COURTEOUS. here i go. i mean the whole story only took place over 2 months, i think???? so TIME WASN’T A LUXURY AND TIME IS NEEDED FOR WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT SO MAYBE MY OPINIONS ARENT EVEN AS JUSTIFIED AS I WISH THEY COULD BE.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:IM PRETTY SURE I MADE THAT CLEAR BY NOW OMFG.
my het ship:haaaaaaaaaa what. Him and Miharu are it, i am gomen
my fem/slash ship:???????????? IT’S STILL THE SAME THAT’S NOT CHANGING FRANKLY IDK WTF THAT EVEN MEANS
my OTP:^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
my OT3:WITH YOITE? YOITE, YUKIMI AND MIHARU.ANDYOITE, MIHARU AND TSUKASA EVEN THO ALL THREE WERE NEVER TOGETHER 
my cross over ship:I HAVE NONE?
my kink:???????? him healthy and alive and happy af
a head cannon fact:ISN’T THAT CONTRADICTORY? 
my gender bend:that would basically be just him. coming to the conclusion that he’s a girl and not the boy he decided he was o-o nothing would change. Yoite is Yoite. he is whoever he wants to be
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minttexs · 8 years ago
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Yepp down in the corner thats the Big Ben next to my giant head 😂😂😂 (ignore my hair it looks like a pile of wet dryer sheets)
Soooo... I was in London... Well not just there i saw other parts of England too but yknow i was mostly excited about London 😂😂😂
Its a bit different bc i dont do many personal things here just when i feel like it or get bored 😂😂😂 but going to England was one of the things on my bucket list since i was a child and my childhood dream came true just a weak ago when i entered my feet onto a land which i’ve never imagined i would.
I know i sound a bit dramatic, but i just wanted to share what it felt like being there because it was a huge thing for me. I’ve been learning english since i was 9 and i learnt about their culture as well since then. As a 9-year-old i was easily impressed by the beautiful buildings (early architect instict?😂😂😂), culture, language and the funny looking guards aroung Buckimgham Palace that it became clear to me that i want to go there. Well i’m 17 now and i’ve been crying and whining about not being able to there for long enough that someone heard my pray and i could finally visit England. WHICH WAS OH MY GOD SO AMAZING 😍😍😍
I had a wonderful time and idk how to put it but i felt like kinda i was home. Its weird to say because i rarely felt this bc i didnt even feel this when i was home in Hungary, but for some reason while i was there i felt this and it was amazing.
And lemme be honest, i dont like fish, but i wanted to see whats the hype about fish and chips and let me tell you after the basket i ate in Canterbury i refused to eat anything else than that, it got so addicting and i smelled like fish for a whole week but it was worth it 😂😂😂
Although feeling home my expectations about England were crushed within seconds i went there 😂😂😂(after i recovered from the dizziness by driving on the other side of the road) the streets are flooded with tourist, im from a country smaller than pea and i was jungshook seeing that many tourist in one place.
But except this everyone was so nice and kind so im not complaining 😍😍😍
All in all, i enjoyed myself a lot there and got a lot of inspiration 😍😍 and i feel so energized which as rare as flying piglets 😂😂
I hope i can visit England again soon, bc it was a trip i will never forget (especially that everything tried to stop me from going back home 😂😂😂the bus’ window broke as well as the whole cooling system, we missed the ship, and the train in the channel, then got into traffic for 5 hours so it was fun😂😂😂)
Wah british army’s im so jelaous of you rn that you can live there 😂😂😍❤
Okay im done rambling about nothing as i always do 😘 i hope i didnt bore with my randomness bye byee~~~
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simplysaphique · 8 years ago
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Okay question. I'm really not trying to be an asshole I'm just kinda confused and I'm very sorry if I offend anyone but do trans woman want to be called trans or do they just want to be called women cause I see on posts all the time that alot of people are like "trans women are gorgeous too" when posts are like "women this women that" but don't trans women identify with most woman stuff and I personally usually just include them when I think women ya know? Idk I'm just a little confused im sorry
Okay this is an awesome question cuz I can clear up some things here. First of all its all how people want to be identified, some trans people want to be known with trans while some prefer not to, posts that say “x are beautiful!” Are generally taken by cis people for cis people. Those who comment “trans x are beautiful too!” Are pushing a reminder that even tho they are trans they are still known as this positive adjective. So basically when we say “Women are x” on here we mean any and all women no matter what. Some domt always include them in their thoughts but its so awesome you do!! Sorry this got rambly I hope it cleared some things up!!
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cruddyborderlandstheories · 6 years ago
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i walk in 20 hours late sipping a starbucks hot cocoa
i don’t like coffee
promethea!!! 
awwwwww yis
tl;dr: uhh wow i talked a lot today, sorry. Mostly about whatever the fuck that thing Rhys is handing us is, how it ties into the dig site we see like maybe it’s a piece to activate it, maybe the dig site isn’t a Vault but instead a teleporter or something and needs multiple pieces to activate. so i guess kinda like a Vault but not that kind of Vault. Also if said dig site is actually on Promethea because that’s, like, DEFINITELY Elpis behind it. and like, okay, maybe we used the giant space gun to destroy the asteroid fields and make room for elpis and teleport elpis there, or maybe we teleported the dig site to pandora because it needs to be opened since Moon = Key and maybe Promethea’s moon was destroyed by the giant space gun (TM) and turned into asteroid belt, or maybe the dig site was always ON pandora and it’s not actually a Vault (because the Map would have pointed it out), but still. lots of possibilities here. oh and i go over the Battleborn easter egg and talk about Tannis is Not What She Seems (and pray she won’t end up being evil bc I love her) and I wanna believe the Eridians sent that message, not the cult ‘cause fuck those guys they probably can’t see the future they probably just adopted the name. also I ramble about how gorgeous this planet is for like... 30 minutes. but damn it really is pretty.
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man this was a fun thing to wake up to and then have to wait like 8 hours to actually fully take a look at lmao
“Home to the Atlas corporation headquarters, Promethea is a metropolitan world covered in futuristic towers of chrome and glass. A recent siege by Maliwan has turned the urban environment into a warzone; their mechanized infantry patrol the streets, rodent/insect hybrids known as Ratches infest the sewers and back-alleys, and the Children of the Vault are seizing the opportunity to recruit displaced and disgruntled citizens. Atlas CEO Rhys Strongfork is getting desperate.“
“... Children of the Vault are seizing the opportunity to recruit displaced and disgruntled citizens”.
yeah that’s the most important part of this description for me. I really really like the idea of that, and it could tie into the whole Mayhem is Coming tagline for the game as, like many people have speculated, the Mayhem we hear about is the spreading of the cult/the psychos across the universe. A very interesting tie-in to the marketing campaign, as it’s clear we’re now the target of this cult propaganda, like the citizens of Promethea are (were? this is all past-tense since marcus is telling this story, isn’t it?)... like the citizens of Promethea were.
And we know that Atlas is trying to protect the citizens in the tunnels, so it’d be really interesting to see the two get into a direct conflict over a group of citizens. Like Lorelei tells us it's a hostage situation or whatever and we run in and it’s more of a brainwashing situation. Worse if the citizens decided to switch over without any brainwashing. oof.
im also curious about the number of hexagons we see on Promethea. The shapes look identical to the ones on Pandora’s page, so I’m curious if this is an accurate representation of how many areas will be on each planet.
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just sayin’.
We do know that Pandora has more than those 3 listed areas (from Supmatto’s new video! can’t believe i missed the stream. ah well.)
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“Covenant Pass”. I wanna believe this is near the area where we go find Sanctuary-III, at the very least that one tunnel-y area?
you know the one
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this one, it’s right next to Sanc-III afterall.
Also thinking it may not be the name of a huge area, but instead the name of one of the smaller areas within that area? like the ones where when you discover it you get experience points? yeah.
the name makes me think this is someway related to the CoV cause of the word ‘covenant’, an agreement. We also know this area is directly near this one bandit camp which I’ve theorized before is a sun smasher camp
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(you can see the back of sanctuary-III near both areas) 
so it’s possible there was an agreement made and both could pass freely through that one tunnel, or the twins were able to build that wall close to this camp. idk, just spitballing ideas.
So then it is possible there’s only 3ish areas on Pandora, but I really hope not unless they are BIG areas. There are most likely more than 3.
oh but we’re here to discuss Promethea
sorry i forgot.
For Promethea we got the Titan Skyway, the Atlas Campus, and the Meridian Seaport.
Titan Skyway reads to me like that giant road we keep seeing in the trailers 
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like this one, which is giving me huge Bloodshot Stronghold (Damtop) vibes. Which is one of my favorite levels to play as melee Zer0 with execute and many must fall so... please let this be what i think it is. i may end up running that map just for funsies at the end of the game. mm if it didn’t take running the actual bloodshot stronghold every time i wanted to play the damtop level, i’d be running it all the time. sigh.
Atlas Campus immediately made me think of the Meridian Metroplex, but that’s definitely not it. In the instagram trailer we see Rhys on the ‘Atlas HQ rooftop’ with Zer0, so I’m gonna imagine Rhys is somewhere in the Atlas Campus.
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Now if this is like an actual college campus, which i don’t think gearbox would do due to the implications, that’d be wild. I heard they had a mall designed for somewhere in the meridian metroplex, but we’re probably not actually allowed inside. which makes me sad, but also it probably holds no significance on the story. but then again... neither did caustic caverns. hmmmmmmmmm
oh also rhys is holding
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whatever the fuck this is
uhhhhhhh... huhhhhh...
tbh i legitimately thought this was their attempt at macgyvering a vault key at first lmao
i know it’s a mission object because it has those glitteries, but... it reminds me a bit of Gortys’s core but i really don’t think that’s it. maybe another Atlas project to try and open a Vault? It just doesn’t look Eridian to me.
then again
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this appears to be at the eridian dig site so... maybe it actually is Eridian. Definitely new to me.
some way to get inside the Vault area maybe? I can’t imagine that’s the actual Vault Key, because the one we see in the We Are Mayhem trailer doesn’t match.
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you know i’ve been thinking more about vault colors
this one appears pink which... alright. maybe something to do with seraphs/seraph crystals.
The bl1 Vault was blue, the bl2 Vault was purple, the Vault of the Sentinel was... purple? blue? pink? all of the above? ... bisexual? tbqh there was a LOT going on there lol. wasn’t the Vault of the traveler yellow? either way
the big question here is: does each Vault have its own color scheme?
I wonder what that means since the Vault Mey has turned red now... it’s probably leading us to the big boy. the Vault to end all Vaults. 
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now wouldn’t that be fun
right back to Promethea sorry
final listed area we get is called the Meridian Seaport. Which, if you know me, has got me all like 👀👀👀👀👀👀
water area? why yes PLEASE
i was actually talking to someone on reddit about said ‘seaport’ and it got me wondering if maybe this area is where we’ll find that one car from the Mask of Mayhem trailer. 
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i can’t imagine what else those wing-like things on the side would be for. but i am definitely not a car person, like the closest i get is being a fan of Transformers, so maybe someone can enlighten me.
I am wondering if this area is the one we see in the instagram trailer with Moze
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here
also i know we see water near where we find Zer0 in the demo, but that’s not really a dock area, more just a viewpoint. this has me thinking it’s an actual dock because the buildings are all off in the distance. It reminds me a lot of NYC actually lol
and interestingly enough i write about an assassination mission at a port on Promethea in one of my fanfics, but tbh i wasn’t actually expecting anything like it to be in-game. That was kind of an assumption I made since the area with Zer0 had water and I can’t believe I’m going to have to go back and edit it to be canon-compliant, cause I legitimately didn’t...
anyway.
Should i go over the instagram stuff now? I feel like i should go over the instagram stuff now.
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see here is my problem with this
no moon
you’ll understand why once i compile my evidence
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no moon
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no moon!!
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no moon
i even watched both time lapses during the amd stream and there was no hint of the moon (i understand promethea is in a state of perpetual twilight, but i thought maybe it would show up somewhere. it doesn’t. in fact it only shows the sun and this asteroid belt).
where is my moon, randy?
well let me tell you what i’m thinking here so you’re not even more confused
let’s go through that instagram video showcasing Promethea again
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you should recognize this!
this is from that one video i reblogged like 4 times because i kept debating whether or not it was on promethea or pandora. now we can assume it’s on promethea but let me ask u something
if promethea doesn’t have a moon...
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what the everloving fuck is that?
in fact, let me ask something
what does elpis look like in bl3?
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look familiar?
hell yeah it does
now...
is this actually promethea?
I can’t imagine gearbox would be using footage that ISN’T from the planet they’re showcasing in a video about said planet. because that’s naughty. Plus, Rhys is shown giving us something that looks very similar to the tech in that area, and I can’t imagine we’d go through all that trouble just to get that tech then immediately go back to Pandora with whatever it is. whatever happened to the Promethean Vault Key we see in the We Are Mayhem trailer?
so there’s 2 options here if we’re under the assumption that dig site is/was on Promethea.
This dig site was moved from Promethea to Pandora
OR
Elpis was moved from Pandora to Promethea
Now i went over ALL of this in an old post. (seriously, give this a read if you haven't already, i go into this in a lot more detail than i will here). but we kinda got some new information.
My first instinct is that this dig site is on (or moved to) Pandora. just, 100% Pandora. the moon, the spiky rocks in the background, what look like Rakk near the back, there’s no asteroid belt in the sky. etc. etc.
do the blue sparkles have anything to do with it? maybe!
Also again, im not 100% certain this is actually a Vault. It just... doesn’t feel right to me. If this was actually on Pandora the entire time, then we’d have known about it through the Vault Map. We would have gone to open the 3rd Vault on Pandora before bl3 even began. If this really has been on Pandora the whole time, I do believe this isn’t actually a Vault. I go over this in that previous post I’ve made and I’m still standing by it. I think this is just an Eridian ruin and the Vault shape is just a statue or whatever. I could be 100% wrong, but that’s my first instinct if we’re being lead to believe this is on Pandora. 
Now I’m curious why this dig site was never mentioned in bl2 if it WAS on Pandora this whole time. And, again, if it actually does end up being a Vault, there’d be a huge plot hole with the whole Vault Map thing if it was on Pandora all along.
So was it moved here? Yeah... probably. For what reason? I... have no idea. How? similar answer. Lily couldnt’ve done it, she doesn’t have her powers anymore. Maybe activating it with whatever Rhys gives us makes it teleport to Pandora. For... reasons.
If it is a Vault, maybe it requires Elpis to open it. for some reason. We know Moon equals Key, so it could play into that. It definitely looks like it’s positioned directly in line with elpis.
but why would a Vault built on Promethea need a moon from a totally different planet to open it?
Because Promethea’s moon was destroyed.
That asteroid belt? I don’t think that’s there just for funsies (okay maybe the artists had funsies but the actual writing? yeah). And that big gun looking thing we see in both concept art and in the trailer? i think that thing fucked up Promethea’s moon to the point it shattered. So they couldn’t open that Vault.
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alright, we all cool on this version of the theory?
let’s flip it on its head.
let’s consider:
Elpis was moved from Pandora to Promethea
NOT possible i hear you say
but hear me out.
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what’s our reasons for saying this is Pandora?
“the moon, the spiky rocks in the background, what look like Rakk near the back, there’s no asteroid belt in the sky. etc. etc.”
Elpis? teleported! bah!
Spiky rocks? Well! We hear typhon mention a quarry, don’t we? one with brittle rock. This very well could be the quazmarian quarry he talked about where he found that very first Vault (and Vault Key). After all, if he fell into a hole and found it, it makes sense that there would be a shitload of dig teams trying to clear it out for easy access.
Rakk? We see those on Athenas, too, during the Happy Together trailer. Plus, they’re super chubby on the bottoms compared to what we see of the Rakk in the Claptrap Presents Pandora video. Maybe they’re not even Rakk.
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Finally. Ah. The asteroid belt.
Well, if you believe that that giant gun could’ve obliterated Promethea’s moon, then is it so hard to turn around and believe that it’s actually obliterated the asteroids surrounding Promethea?
in fact, if we really ARE moving Elpis to Promethea, wouldn’t it make sense that we can’t have asteroids hitting Elpis for fear of worsening the Crackening and breaking our own moon?
In FACT, do we even SEE any asteroids above Promethea in that trailer shot of the bigass gun?
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I THINK NOT.
There’s more to this theory, though.
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from claptrap presents pandora
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from the we are mayhem trailer
yeah, they COULD be celebrating the destruction of Elpis (because i would not be surprised if those are both near the same area)
lets think of something new, though. Elpis being blown up was totally 2015, with Zarpedon. That’s SO last season, Calypsos.
Plus, why would the calypsos even want the moon destroyed? is that not the home of a Vault that would allow them to see the future? how fucking powerful would that be, being able to see the future??? Jack knew what he had to do to win the Pandora games (even if he uhhh didn’t get to see that last bit because of Lilith), so why wouldn’t the Calypsos want to see their own futures?
There is the argument that they’ve already gone to Elpis and didn’t like what the Vault showed them, but I kinda assumed that they’d have gotten the funky eye things like Zarpedon did if they really did see what the Vault showed them. Given that Jack’s was interrupted by Lilith, we don’t really know if that’s truly the case.
I’m 100% down to blow up the moon cause Good Riddance, but also it needs to make sense WHY the calypsos want it blown up other than like shits and giggles? which... fine, but the story..? Elpis has to be important somehow. They have to want it blown up for some reason. A show of power? awesome, maybe they got that giant space gun. Moon = Key, so maybe they think if we can’t get this Vault, nobody can? sure why not. Destroying Pandora? Sure, but why blow up elpis when u could just also blow up pandora? 
either way, if the game gives us an actual reason as to why the twins are blowing up the moon, we’re all fine and dandy. if they’re going it just because then yeah, im gonna get kinda testy. 
anyway my point IS
The effect around elpis here looks strikingly familiar to the effect that appears around Lilith (and the cultists) when they’re teleported.
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so it would be much cooler if, instead of blowing up Elpis, they were actually celebrating its movement. 
And it would be very interesting then, if this tied into that Easter Egg we got.
You know the one:
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Because yeah im still iffy on the implication that this is from the Calypso twins. Why wouldn’t they want the Vaults opened? isn’t that the grand plan?
maybe this could be from the Eridians or the Guardians on Elpis. If Elpis was teleported from Pandora to Elpis, maybe the translation from Eridian -> English is slightly off, or simplified for the message. (on vs orbiting for example)
Visit Promethea -> Where we are right now, or where we’re going to go. We need you there.
Children of the Vault -> Yes, it could be the CoV cult that’s being referenced, but the way this is broadcasted, through morse code, spoken like an actual cryptic message and not, you know, with that Calypso flair... me thinks the cult simply adopted the name “Children of the Vault”. I think this may either be referencing Sirens, or the Vault Hunters/Crimson Raiders. Maybe the twins picked up this broadcast and that’s why they immediately head to Promethea after they steal Lilith’s powers.
We are not on Pandora anymore -> shit dudes we got yeeted to Promethea, help us. Or... we’ve moved elsewhere. We’re not nearby, we escaped, we fled, come find us on Promethea. 
Tannis is not what she seems -> this one... I don’t believe the Calypsos actually know anything about Tannis. If they do, then she was possibly the one to rescue/experiment on them, turning them into artificial Sirens or whatever, but then... isn’t Tannis exactly what she seems? She’s crazy, she totally would experiment on the twins. That is EXACTLY what she seems like. 
The people who would know about Tannis not being what she seems... the people who can see the future? The Guardians of the Sentinel’s Vault (maybe just the Guardians/Eridians in general). The Watcher can speak (speak? she uses telepathy, doesn’t she? that’s why Brick asks Lilith what she says) eloquently, I imagine there has to be more than one Watcher-like Guardian. Or this is the Watcher herself sending the message. 
Either way, if, later on in the game, Tannis starts showing signs of not being what she seems, then... wouldn’t it make sense that the only characters who knew this were the ones who could see the future? And given the new info, it makes sense that the Guardians/Eridians/yougetthegist would know her by name, because she could be the one who turned herself into an artificial Siren.  Or figured out how to create artificial Sirens. Whichever (both?). Which is kinda big news in the Eridian world, I’m sure. Plus, the wording using ‘What’ instead of ‘Who’ is kinda a big pointer. I’m almost leaning towards the idea that Tannis tried to give herself Angel’s phaseshifting abilities. I can’t see Tannis with actual offensive abilities... It wouldn’t really fit her character. But I can 100% see her with mad computer hacking skills, to the point she could ruin anything with a flick of her wrist. Yeah, I can see that. 
And I really hope Tannis doesn’t end up being a villain. She could do so much good with her intelligence and newfound powers and tbh it’s really nice seeing a character with autism not treated like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory (the butt of every joke). She feels real to me (as someone with autism)- she’s got her obsession (Eridians/Sirens/the Vaults), her crazy intelligence, the social phobia/unawareness. I really like her as a character (going from betraying us in bl1 to realizing her mistake and immediately trying to help and assisting the Crimson Raiders) and I’d really hate for her to become the villain just for... idk a shock twist? The shock twist should be that she’s a Siren or whatever, not that she’s going to betray us. I like Tannis :( And all the message says is Tannis is Not What She Seems, not that we shouldn’t trust her or that she’s going to betray us.
Do Not Open the Vaults -> well this is the whole thing, isn’t it? this is why I think this message has some sort of Eridian origin, instead of the Calypsos cult. The Calypsos WANT the Vaults open. They want that ‘universe-destroying’ power. They want to absorb the powers of the Vault monsters. Shit, even we Vault Hunters want to open the Vaults for some of that sweet, sweet loot. But who doesn’t want the Vaults opened? The Eridians.
oh yeah we were talking about Promethea. how the fuck did i get here?
oh the moon
yeah it could have just been a shot in the Instagram trailer they used to show off the ‘Eridian alien technology’. that’s not fun to talk about tho lmfao. plus the thingie Rhys holds matches up so well with the cool technology we get
anyway
the instagram trailer. we’re not even like halfway done with this post btw. still gotta do those beautiful screenshots
oh
trailer
sorry it’s like 1am im starting to lose focus im shifting into sleepy mode
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i just love the aesthetic of this city.
also. that one building with the 0 on it? you can’t convince me Rhys didn’t give Zer0 their own skyscraper.
oh, you want an entire building to store all your loot and trophy kills? OF COURSE ZER0 ANYTHING FOR YOU
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yes....... Eridian log.
im really excited to see it glowing. especially since it’s glowing red, like the Vault Map/key/you know. I hope that has some significance. 
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i did boost the brightness and noticed it was part of a wall, not just one slab found elsewhere. makes me think this is part of a Temple. maybe part of the dig site below? we know that one is connected to some sort of building. and if it glows red, that’d be a really neat tie in to why Atlas always has that glowing red aesthetic going on in their bases.
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still not done talking about this shot. yeah the stuff on the right looks similar to the thing Rhys hands us. NOT why i brought it back up tho. The guardian statues in the back seem very ‘low poly’. VERY different to the guardian statues we have on Pandora. they’re also holding staffs which is new. 
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compare
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these ones also seem much buffer than the guardians we see. with shorter necks, as well.
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Maybe these are statues of ACTUAL Eridians? not just Guardians or any other construct (further proof for my theory Pandora was a Guardian production planet lol) but like what Eridians actually look like.
shorter necks, thicker limbs (because why would the constructs NEED muscles?), actual bodies that aren’t thin as twigs. I think we found it boys
this is the ideal Eridian body
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no cause, seriously, if they ARE guardians, why are they so BUFF?? i don’t GET IT
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also weird  this atlas gun isn’t wrist mounted. Atlas sniper confirmarinoed? or just an Old Atlas gun. sure. that too.
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Moze on a turret near what i assume is the Meridian Seaport. She has what i think is an Atlas pistol equipped. There’s a dead guy leaning up against some cinder blocks, all cozy-like. 
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better shot of the area. We talked about this earlier, so moving on!
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Okay... so is THIS the New Atlas sniper? it looks like nigel thornberry’s nose
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smashing.
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we saw this before, too. im actually really excited to look out over the Promethea skyline from the top of a skyscraper. also, idk, rhys’s hand looks like a yaoi hand to me. like his fingers are above the F in strongfork, right? look how far away his thumb is. YEESH.
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it’s actually ONLY rhys lol
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An Atlas soldier at work! I like that their gear has the crimson lance logo on it. And the new Atlas symbol. I feel like if we have to fight these guys, the crit spot is gonna be that backpack.
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maliwan robo!!!
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a big boy. one of the flying ones too iirc from the We Are Mayhem trailer. 
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Atlassss in the back. it’s weird that the second A in Atlas is the logo, not the first one. the first one is a triangle. that’s weird is it supposed to be signalling something else? a triangle with a circle around it. i don’t even know what that might be a logo for. hm.
oh also police bots i guess, but we see these dudes a lot.
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im more interested in this thingie in the back. wonder what happened to it/what it is
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ratches. blegh.
i hate these things jfc. they’re so gross.
i like that maliwan is just claiming things by throwing their flag up on it. that’s not how this works! that’s not how any of this works!
anyway.
how are those screenshots lookin
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pretty good.
im pretty sure i’ve mentioned this before, but i love that they named this part of the city Meridian and then kept the Eridian logo in the spelling. it’s so fuckin dorky to me.
also i know we’re supposed to hate these robos, but at least they’re getting some characterization as enemies. the loaderbots in bl2 do this but not to a degree that they get their own interactions (LB being the exception of course). I like this.
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also i love that parts of the city are color coded. like red and blue parts are different areas. It’s such a neat way to help people not get lost (cough, me) and it fits great into the design of the city with the neon lights and bright colors. I noticed this in the gameplay demo as well, tho i don’t remember if it was followed. Also I’m pretty sure that symbol up there
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is what the blue area is called. could be wrong. but i think i saw this during the demo as well.
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i think this is going to be my favorite area to visit on Promethea, hands down. I love this little living area. It feels so unlike anywhere we’ve visited in previous games, like it feels like somewhere Gaige could be from. Actually, iirc Roland was from Promethea, wasn’t he? Be wild if we visited his house here. Anyway, I’m also excited about the trees. Fucking! Trees!
and cars!!! holy shit yeah on Pandora we only ever saw like light runners or bandit technicals and the occasional bus. all the cars were broken down and stripped for parts! It’s really cool to see actual full cars here.
wow i am excited over the most mundane shit lol
wait till you guys hear about the PARKING LOT
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OHHHH YEAH
CROSSWALKS TOO
lol im actually- i just love this area. i love it so much. this is lovely. i love the giant glowing reactor in the background too, i 100% hope we get to interact with that (posssssibly blow it up. maybe just a little.) I can see this area being the area we have to run through to reach the entrance of that thing. I mean, it’s just RIGHT THERE.
Also would not be surprised if this KV fellow is waiting for us there. “Who wants to BANG a billionaire indeed”. He’s totally gonna be a boss fight. BANG i imagine means more shooty shooty than innuendo... innuendo...
it sounded better in my head.
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the symbol for the red area possibly on that tower in the back?
I’m like, 60% sure this isn’t the area we explore with Lorelei, so maybe this is the Titan Skyway? also maybe the bridge Moze and Fl4k drop off of in the Happy Together trailer.
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hate. i would quote AM here but im tired so just imagine the entire ‘Hate’ quote here because i HATE these things.
there’s also a big skelly in the back, i wonder just how big these fuckin things can grow. hopefully uhhh like a cow died here or smth. cuz fuck man.
this area is also super green and watery so i wonder if this is a sewer or smth. that’d be wild lol
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Another shot of the city. It’s so fucking beautiful. I really love how they went all out for this. Opportunity was great, but it wasn’t nice to look at. Promethea is fucking STUNNING. I love this place way too much. Never even been here before.
also i love the fog coming up from the bottom. Maybe this shot is taken from the water? god if we get to go on the water and then it starts fogging up i might actually start crying lol.
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this building is my favorite by far i think. I love the way the middle turns in. I have no idea how that’d work like... from an inside standpoint, cause the ground would just be slanted under you but im sure they made it work somehow.
anyway. im gonna go cry myself to sleep over how beautiful this game is. sorry i talked like... WAY too much during this one lol.
also i just thought of this while writing the tl;dr but maybe that item rhys gives us is after all the Promethea stuff is over, even the Vault(s), maybe we need it to activate something in that vault statue area on Pandora and that’s our way to like some important Vault or the Eridian homeworld or smth and we gotta collect all the pieces to activate it. like it’s a teleporter. Maybe Rhys had a piece because that’s what was in the Vault of the Traveller. I mean it would make sense because if you didn’t want someone to have something, you fuckin hide it in a box that’s teleporting across the galaxy at random intervals. That might be our way to the Eridian Homeworld. Now wouldn’t that be neato...
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