#idk im just thimking....
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i have the rest of borealis gen 2 queued but idk if i want to do a short break or just go right into gen 3
#its not for a lack of pictures or anything i literally have almost 300 rn#with almost 100 edited#idk im just thimking....#there's actually no thoughts going through my head at all im just thinking in the metaphorical sense#there's elevator music up there babes#thats not true either padam padam by kylie minogue is playing on a loop#i love lying <3#court rambles
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May i interest the fandom in the whimsical concept of “Gabriel can shape shift and is some type of absolute creetur”
The concept of angel = dog is just so tasty to me
Like he’s just some kind of fucked up high damage war dog trained for heavenly duties
#idk i thimk im Sleep deprived#Gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#just for funsies#If anyone wants to do stuff on this u have my full permission to run wild (tag me i wanna see)#az doods
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Chat is it weird to kiss ur friends on the cheek and hand???
#my family keep judging 4 it and 4 being rlly close w them physically and qhatnot#PERSONALLY i just thimk theyre not close enough w their friends but idk#i dont do as much aymore bc im not rlly close enough w most of my current friends + im sure theyd be uncomfortable w it#but w my older friends i would..
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#dating is so so scary so often for me#because when it comes right down to it i can hold every other relationship at a certain comfortable distance#that i cannot maintain with The Boy and still actually grow#realized tonight that the idea of having him spend time with my family and having to see and hear their reactions to him#scares me so much im pretty sure it makes me shake a little bit when i thimk about it#and the thing is it's not because it's him specifically. most of my important non familial relationships would make me feel this way#its just i dont HAVE to introduce my friends to my parents. it doesnt matter if they never get comfortable with my family.#i can compartmentalize there.#but i can't with The Boy#not permanently. not if i want him actually in my life long term#honestly please pray for me about this. it scares me SO much and idk how to change that
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I have a legal question but idk who to ask so I'm posing it to the general public:
Its illegal to clock out and continue working right? If something like that were to be reported, would the employer or the employees get in trouble for it?
#p#for the record it was because we're so understaffed that there were only 2 ppl here last night doing truck#so they both didnt take a lunch and stayed over an hour past when our shifts are supposed to end#I can see the employees getting in trouble for doing that but our manager really doesn't give us a choice in situations like that#hr knows about it and condones it. hes encouraged it to me before#i havent done this bc im not interested in breaking the law for this place tbh he can just fire me atp#but the guys have practically been forced to multiple times#anf again. manager has encouraged this behavior and forced the guys to work sometimes almost 3 + extra hours#which would make for a 13 hr shift#i thimk the only reason he hasnt done this while I'm present is bc he caught wind that if i can get evidence for some of his behavior#i will report him#lmfao#but ya idk. just wondering.
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Im so sleepy <has been for the past like 5 days im just lazy
#idk...#i thimk im sick but i cant even tell anymore#ive been sleeping all day#i thinm my parents are worried tho so erm thats porbably not goof#idk ima just sleep#gn
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ohhhh i will never be over this i know i talk about getting teared up over shows but this is the first time a show had me openly crying as much as this. i'll never forget this
#skye's ramblings#THIS IS SO SO FUCKING TOUCHING TO ME IM SORRY. I HAVE NEVER HAD A SHOW WITH SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PORTRAYAL OF AUTISM/ADHD#the fact that camila says a quote from her special interest and then this plays out they are both so so good im gonna fucking. explode#i was watching this w my sister and just lost it right in front of her. i couldn't even explain why i was crying its just so#like yeah its sweet just like in general. but its everything to me. this show is a treasure and idk what i'll do when its over#I TEAR UP AGAIN EVERY TIME I THIMK ABOUT IT OHHHHHHHHHHHH#toh spoilers
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God fuck it feels like I'm being stabbed in the stomache from all angles ow oucb oof owwie
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gahhhh why is it so hard to reach out to people
#hellooo mutuals i thimk you’re all very cool and i’d like to be friends if you want to…im just shy….until im NOT /j /silly#idk if you want my discord dm me maybe…i dunno…..im trying to reach out and this is my roundabout way of doing it lmao
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dude i keep sitting down to practice then ill start playing and think "lolzz imagine what its gonna be like on monday when youre playing for loads of people" and when i make a mistake i get the most gut wrenching spine chilling wave of anxiety like "you just messed up in frront of all those people teehee" EVEN THO IM ALONE JFFHKSJSDFH
send help guys i need to play a very complicated piece that i started learning A WEEK AGO in front of an ENTIRE SCHOOL HALL OF CHILDREN AND ADULTS ON MONDAY
DUDE I CAN BARELY PLAY IT MYSELF IN MY HOUSE WITH NO ONE WATCHING LET ALONE WITH AN AUDIENCE???!?!?!? FUCK
#send help#ouughh god im gonna massively screqw up in front of loads of people auuughgh aiuhfksjsdhfkjsdf#send#help#fuck im gonna die#just thimking baout it sends me into cardiac arrest#what if i practice too much and get piano burnout#ive never gotten piano burnout and idk if it exists but im still gonna worry about it#what if i cant play it as well on the school piano#what if it sounds weird#what if i use the pedal and it sounds really muddy and shit#what if i start playing at the worng time#AUUGHHG KJDFHKSJSDHFKJSDF FUCK FUCK FCUK
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idk if i should kms if i thibk about it i just feel like im gonna cry i dont thimk i should
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i should. make a proper pinned detailing all the bazillion thingies im into nd even have my name (Velvet) cuz idont thimk im doing this tumblr thing correctly... but also im autistic nd lazy nd idk what to write OR HOW TO WRITE IT INNA WAY THATSEEMS GENUINENFRIENDLY OR WHATNOT.......... id just ramble like this nd pray ppl should be my friends cuz im into music video games tv shows anime manga all religiously,, and that i LOVE love gay hcs in media nd write too much abt them but idk... im too multifaceted for 1 post </3
i dont chase i attract </3
<- girlthey rotting in they bed
but it does make me think if id get more frens if iplay the game proper. latenight (5am. sleep schedules are fake.) thoughts r so effing crazy chat!!!
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Im working on. a neogender umbrella nd i cant decide if i do two separate versions for seelie and unseelie, OR just do one version and have presentations based on the diff courts hmm. I mean i want to do presentations anyway for the four season courts bur. Idk . Thimking x3
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im feeling very affectionate and theyre not arounddd and i dont wanna spam them or guilttrip them into talking to me im just kinda happy theyr e not mad at me. or maybe they are idk i havent decided yet i would just like to give it some attention i thimk
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🦋anon
Omg i hope my last ask i remembered to send on anon, idk now ahh!
But also just finished reading pt 2 and im LOSING IT...you have just put me back in eric brainrot😭 everytime i thimk i escape him i get dragged right back not me typing this putting the image of him LITERALLY dragging me back in my head lol now I'm suffering more
it gives me pride knowing I've put you back in that brain rot for a moment 💕 hahaha wait til part 3 comes out when I get the chance to write it 😏
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also just. really lonely and bad emotion in general. im so. idk. idk what to say or do anymore but i dont wanna be alive the rest of my life if its not w the people i love and care and i cause so much hurt to them and its my fault and mh fault and i need to br better but i wish they could see and i miss people who arent gone but then theyre gone and i im very sad and sad and idk whats wrong w me anymore and i dont thimk oll ever get begter
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