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tumblr staff finding out their site has crowdsourced a viral song, only to discover it is 100% unusable in any corporate marketing scenario

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This will never NOT be funny

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you need to get it out of your mind that psychosomatic illness is just “making up symptoms” when it’s actually much more like your body is being actively poisoned by chemicals released from your brain

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“Nobody’s going to want to sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours to get from New York City to LA.”

Me. I will sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours. I’ll sit on it for days. I’ll write and read and nap and eat and then do it all over again. I’ll stare out the windows and see America from ground level and not have to drive. I’ll see the Rockies and the deserts and cornfields and the Mississippi River and your house and yours and yours too. I’ll make up stories in my head about the small towns I see as we go along. I’ll see the states I’ve yet to see because driving or flying there is a fucking slog and expensive to boot. I’ll enjoy the ride as much as the destination. And then I’ll do it all over again to come the fuck home.

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I almost forgot to mention: this woman came into the penguin enclosure with a KESTREL??? I said “oh my god is that an American Kestrel?” and she said “Yes! She was outside doing raptor education for the kids, but she doesn’t like to get rained on.”

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I be like ''lord'' ''god'' ''jesus christ'' and the mfs dont even mean anything to me

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Was scrolling through AO3 and found this gem

Enemy to parent is a trope we have to popularise lmao

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Being autistic is like screaming through a megaphone “please don’t overwork me, i WILL explode” and everyone responds like haha well. You’ll get used to it over time :)

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WHY does the inner ear have a direct line to your stomach? What evolutionary advantage is there to throwing up when you're dizzy?

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“Hey guys, just because it’s about a gay space and was written, and performed by gay people who sang songs for gay people doesn’t mean it’s a gay song” is an insane level of cognitive dissonance.

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get this man in tekken….. STAT !!!!!

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we should domesticate the hyena

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