#idk im getting tired of writing it and i think thats a sign

[sonic-rebellion-official]

torn between starting rebellion over and doing better or just sucking it up and moving on

[dallonwrites]

at first i was writing a lot of grief stuff to process my own which is still the case but at this point it's mostly the grief has been here for so long and is not going away so and i'm tired so i might as well have fun with it

[pettal00beaine]

Detention - Snape x inocent!reader smut

reader is described as a female, and is in hufflepuff

a/n- idk what possesed me to write this but this is so dirtly yall, im thinking abb turning this into a series but idk. Also its my second post thats an actual fanfic, so hope yall enjoy

MINORS DNI

(Y/n)  (L/n) was discribed as a inocent, kind and soft girl. She had (h/c) hair that ran along her pretty face, (e/c) piercing eyes and a curved, bouncy and round body every boy wanted to touch. Even though she doesn't even know that boys have genitals.

She wasn't given the talk when she was younger and for certain she was discribed as a sparkly ray of sunshine at all Hogwarts. She was a Hufflepuff and was excellent in many classes, greatest being Herbology. 

She was often praised a lot from proffesors. She was the one who earned Hufflepuff many points through the years. But there was one class she wasn't a fan of.

Potions. Lead by non other than Proffesor Severus Snape. He never spoke about the girl, but was strict to her at times when she got a few measurements wrong in her potion. One time instead of healing a frog she turned it into a pigeon. Nobody was really surprised though, her patronum was a pigeon after all.

 But aside from some little incident there weren't tragic mistakes she had made. Until today at class. They were supposed to be making Amortentia, a very powerful potion. But with one slight bump of her classmate she managed to add half a bottle of peppermint oil into the mix resulting in her desk being flooded by the messy jelly like substance. And with one glare from Snape she knew what was going to go down . 

"Five points from Hufflepuff. Miss Glitheard you have detention here later today., at the end of all your classes. Everyone stop experimenting, Miss (L/n) clean this mess up." And with a sigh that left her mouth she begun cleaning the mess. With her head down for the rest of the day she completed all her classes and went to change her robe before going to her second detention at Hogwarts. 

The first one was in Astronomy when she broke a crystal ball. But she just had to clean the whole class of dust and that was it. Plus Ms. Sinistra added five points to Hufflepuff for her hard work. But she didnt know what Snape was like. With one final deep breath she opened the large door of the potions classroom. 

There sat Snape right in the front of the classroom writing onto some papers. He looks up and says: " Oh Miss (L/n) you finally appeared go on and sit down , and dont make a peep." She sat in the way back and put her bag onto the table. After about five minutes she felt bored and started to get pretty tired so she laid her head onto the desk letting herself dream into her sweet dreams of candy. 

(Snape's point of view)

I finished signing all of my paper on grading the fifth year students. And looked up to spot Miss Glitcheard quietly sleeping on the desk. I started to get mad at her actions and took my wand with me and started walking to her desk. I stood there before slamming my wand against the end of the desk letting little sparks fly out of the end. She got startled and fell to her knees right in front of me and looked me straight into the eyes.

I couldn't help but feel excited. "Oh my Merlin im so so sorry Professor Snape!" She quickly tried to get back onto the chair but i pushed her down with my right hand. " W-what ar-are you doing P-proffesore?" she asked as she looked at me inocently and blushed a deep red color. She wasn't lying she really didnt know what was about to happen.

 " Do not move a muscle." At that she sat still as i walked to the door, i pointed my wand at the doorknob and in a deep voice said: "Colloportus." 

With that i turned around to look at her looking at me. I slowly walked over to her as she turned her hair to look at the floor. I moved my wand across her jawli and moved her head up to look at me. "Proffesor my knees hurt, can i please sit on the chair?" 

"No. You are to remain here until i say so and until im satisfied." I said as i tapped my wand against her small but plump lips." Do you know what mens genitals are called Miss (Y/n)? Hmm?"

 "N-no sir i dont i swear. My mama said thats not good. So i dont know." 

She's telling the truth. This is going to be fun, a smirk is already forming onto my face as i look at her eyes. " You can sit down now." She obeyed as she sat down, i quickly made my way over and sat beside her. I started stroking her thigh and rubbing her robe.

"Its a little hot in here isn't it Miss?" 

" A bit." She said. 

I started taking of my robe revealing the pants and pullover that i had underneath. "Why dont you get comfortable yourself Miss?" She looked at me shily before removing her robe reveilng the sweater, tie and dress shirt. Her skirt was relatively short, i could see her chubby thighs. On the were the cutest pair of thigh highs i had ever seen. They were thick considering it was chilly outside and had adorable little pumpkins on them. I could just take them off one by one. But ill be patient. "Tell me Miss do you know what an erection is?" She shakes her head no.

 "Well, an erection is a hardened male genital or so called penis. Its caused by a male getting aroused by sexual tention." She lisened carefully as i suggested: " Would you like to try giving me an erection Miss.?" She looked shoked, she started getting teary eyed and shed a few tears. I cupped her cheeks and wiped away the tears.

" Oh Miss im sorry, whats wrong? " She looks at me with a quivering lip, "Momma said thats for bad people i dont wanna be a bad person mama will be sad." " Oh no deary its only bad if its forced but you want this, dont you Miss Glitcheard?" she looks patheticaly at the ground as i sense her thinking, maybe some old giving in will do the trick. 

I lean in close to her ear as i wispered:" Not even if i give some pathetic points to hufflepuff? Hmm? Wouldn't you like that little Miss?" And at that she looks at me and with a frown quickly nods her head." Alright then,lets get started. Get down on your knees infront of me." 

She obeys my orders as i move the chair to the side. She sits right in front of my legs. I started to move down the zipper on my pants revealing my white boxers. I slowly reach my hand into them as i take my huge cock out. She looks at it with wonder her eyes growing larger .

 "Its already half erect and leaking precum. Go on and put it into your hands Miss." She then slowly took it into her soft hands and squeezed it a little bit."Oh my Merlin that feels soo good. You see those ball like testicles under? You need to squeeze them gently." As she reaches down i cant help but feel excited, than i saw that my cock had twitched now fully hard.

She looked at it in surprise before slowly squeezing my heavy balls. It felt like i was in heaven. But i knew what would make it even better. " Do you see that mushroom shape? I want you to put it in your mouth." 

She looked at me so innocently as she opened her mouth, slowly taking in my tip. As she started to suck on it like a lollipop, it felt as if i was in heaven. I then pushed her head further as i heard her gag and choke, i looked right into her eyes as i saw tears flowing onto her cheeks. 

I tried to reach out to wipe them away as she started to gurgle and tap my thighs violently. I let her go to breath air as she started caughing. After a few seconds i took her back onto my cock, this time i felt i was close so i started to pound into her mouth. 

My balls slapped away on her jaw as she choked. "It'll be over soon i promise, just a few seconds more." I saw her eyes roll back into her head. She looked so fucking hot like that. I soon aproched my goal and for the last time i held her head down to my pubes. 

Her hands violently hit my thighs and her eyes had closed, knowing she was going to pass out i pulled out. I closed her mouth with my hand as i said: "I want you to swallow it all, or else you get punished." She shook her head no and moved back, as soon as my hand left her face she spitted out my jizz leading to a few coughs. 

She looked at me sadly as i just looked at her with slight anger for spitting my load out. " Im sorry i couldn't do it, it was too yucky and salty." "You think that its disgusting huh?" She shook her head yes. "You really are spoiled rotten. You think you can just spit it out like that huh? It takes time for me to make it happen you know. Do you understand that?"

She looked at me with eyes blowing with tears.

" Y-yes i do. Please dont punish me i wanna be a good girl, not a bad one. Am i a good girl sir, am i?" Her lip wobbled as she said that. " Right now your a really bad girl. You wasted what i gave you. And you will get punished. Now bend over the desk." She shook as she got onto her legs and took a few steps, she laid onto her stomach on the table. 

I put my cock back into my pants and walked behind her. I put my hand onto her hips as she shook a bit, trying to look over her shoulder. I then put a hand under her skirt and took it off with one swift motion along with her underwear.

 I kept her thigh highs on though, she looked so hot in them. I then took my wand into my hands and said ill give 10 spanks to your pussy, you will count each one, if you miss one i will start again. Understood?" 

"Yes i undertand sir." She said cutely.

I then so sudenly bought the wand down to her right cheek, making her jump in suprise.

"One!" She yelped. I made sure the second smack was a little more near her cunt.

"Two!" She yelped yet again. I had a smirk on my face as i continued the abuse on her cheeks. 

On the last slap she was crying so beautifuly, while i was rubbing her wery sore cheeks so it would hopefuly relieve some of the pain.

"You were good my sweet little dove, you deserve a reward dont you now? How about 30 points to hufflepuff? Hmm, would you like that?"

"Yes thank you Proffesor!" She said with a cute smile, as always.

"How about i bring us some tea darling, would it make you feel any better?"

"Yes Proffesore, with honey please!"

"Of course sweetheart." Oh how i love her.

[chubbygrape]

Store: A case study 🔪🖤

Have such a love for the eldritch so Store and his little butchery thing are fascinating to me, like i love this awkward pool toy looking bird so much and I've decided to make it everyones problem with this shitpost

----------------------

Anyone too lazy to read all that tho, heres a quick summary of all points below that paint the picture of who Store really is:

-----------------

A businessman 👨‍💼📈

Concerned greatly about the future of his establishment < takes an active approach by engaging in production and release of new products. 💡

Monopoly: market forces are irrelevant < sole seller < niche market < great profits 💹

Great Marketing Skills < Utilises marketing techniques 🗂

Is a TV celebrity 🎥⭐️

Has a Phd 🎓

Loves Boss ❤️

Great hygiene 🫧🧼

Supports native fauna and flora 🌷🦇

-----------------

now lets get into it -

Inside his Butchery :

I literally love how he has just chucked all the devil meat into a literal bookshelf, like no fridge, no glass case, no nothing , just straight into the shelves.

But then i also noticed the sign at the top which translates to 'Old Meat' apparently , which made it even funnier to me like anything not fresh he just shoved right in there and thats just how you run an institute at the end of the day

2. We got some unintelligible posters, like what are those?? I kept squinting and turning the screen upside down, could literally not tell whatsover

3. Speaking of posters though, in a bonus curse the posters were replaced with a Chidaruma picture and honestly thats the cutest thing ever , big 'i love my boss' energy.

But I need to know the specifics now like was Chidaruma handing pictures, like where did Store get that pic from?

4. At another point also, after Asu was butchered, we had a new posted hand written talking about fresh meat?

So Store can write now??? Is my manic angel bird demon educated? its giving phd

5. Lastly on the point of posters, Store is out there promoting sales - a whole 20% off, he is running a business!!!

6. We got a little ottoman chair, dont want the waiting customer to be standing and getting tired ofc

7. Those horn like things that are all over Hell are also hanging from the ceiling and thats confusing to me cause like was this an active decor decision?

cause i know damn well it didnt come with the property - unless theyre like a sort of flora or fungus idk

[not even going to comment on the bats]

8. Hanging helps tenderise the meat, and its a common practice where butchers will hang the animal bodies in fridges and freezers and whatnot, but have you also considered you can just hang it in the middle of your shop, right in the open, over the customer's head?

9. Are these bones??

10. mysterious liquid jars??? (its blood isnt it)

11. A sink with some soap, we love hygiene ❤️ - An a kettle cause why not we know store likes tea

12. But then on the topic of meat, you also have sausages at a certain point - And im 99% sure Store only deals in Devil Meat (talk about niche market) , so hes just flat out making devil sausages?

Which actually not surprising - his pie chart literally shows how hes working on new releases, I mean we got a mince meat version now! ++ the Niku Strong K that helps with hair loss!

13. Big of him to be worried about keeping devil meat fresh when hes out there storing meat uncovered in room temperature but im not judging

14. Expandable areas -- There's extra rooms to the butchery we havent been shown and now I have to be mad and wonder cause how does this thing live!!!! I need to know!

My guess: guessing he has like an actual meat prep room, plus if hes mincing and making sausages sure he should have a space for that -- I think he also lives there (?) so guessing another extra room could be his room.

15. Extra: Store in a tshirt and a bib - love.

Outside the Butchery :

All these trash bags must be waste, but now I wonder who collects the trash? Does Hell has its own trash collection system?

Also is that a satellite?? Store watches TV? good for him. Actually no surprise there since he has his own channel he stars in (celebrity ⭐️)

Anyways 10/10 , he's doing a great job

Final author note: You know in retrospect, if i was one of the strongest beings in existence that could kill Devils and was the only one thus handlind Devil meat thats so essential to the lifecyle of devils, I also wouldnt give a fuck and a chuck all the meat raw in the shelves - either take it and pay up or leave it , idc

[aloera]

Ayyy hi how are you? thank you so much for replying to all points in my long ass ask the other day :) and so succinctly too i will be using your advice thanks i'll think about how to apply it, still not sure if i wanna write in english or spanish(eng isn't my first language think i ate some letters in the last one fjjf but being in this app constantly helps me pratice) excited for your next wips i'll be patiently waiting, and yeah like you said we are in this krbk hell together if you ever wanna talk or atleast kr my darling has a chokehold on me i'll never forget him :( he's just my type of earnest, punkie, sweetheart, spunky boy. Maybe im reaching and sorry if i overshare but i find some similarities with my other fav percy jackson(i know kr is a mama's boy, and also is often labeled kinda "dumb" :/ when that's so untrue, etc.) fudj anyways hori he's mine now sorry

I know him personally, i say that bc first he's a libra and both of my parents(divorced) are libras too and my rising sign is libra 🙈(uff is kinda of chaotic) fjdjd so idk maybe i can peek into his head. And second bc i look at him and i know his weakness are the most insufferable(sometimes blond) men </3 F he can't help his taste fjdh

What do you think of kirimono 👀? (i love their silly beef and maybe they should kiss ab it) waah this got long again sorry again ur one of my fav fic authors, have a good day/week!💝

hi!!! im good thank you i hope you're well too :) please please let me know how your writing endeavours go omg good luck!! have fun!!!!

shut up as much as i love pjo i never actually thought ab the similarities btwn him and kirishima... esp the weakness for blondes LMFAOO thats genuinely so good im obsessed with it i love that u made that connection

can i say. this is so funny just bc both my parents (not divorced. but should be) are also both libras........ why r we the same person LMFAO

OMG. KIRIMONO. i have literally been waiting 4 this one bc my friend sock introduced it to me first i think and since then.... i just keep thinking about them... its SO FUNNY like just the premise alone yk.. like this guy is soooo nice to everyone. except you. and monoma cant even complain ab him bc everytime hes like "ugh kirishi-" everyones immediately like "omg what a nice guy right" "and so strong" "and so handsome!!" "always out there to lend a helping hand!!" and monomas pulling at his hair like NONE OF YOU GET IT... hes EVIL.......

i have a wip in the making rn the premise is that monoma is dumb and kirishima is dumber and bakugou and shinsou are so unbelievably tired.

please literally never apologize i love hearing from you!! mwah hope youre doing good!!! <33

[quantumstarpaths]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍.

— BASICS! ♡

NAME: jamie

PRONOUNS:  they/them

ZODIAC SIGN: scorpio

TAKEN OR SINGLE: single

— THREE FACTS! ♡

my kitty cat had to get his teeth cleaned yesterday and now he has a naked strip on his ankle from the anesthesia  

i love...b horror movies. like, vincent price, yk? i'm too much of a baby to actually enjoy real horror movies but i love them when they're stupid.

um! idk. im watching the mandalorian rn. its almost over. thats not a good fact. the fact is that im not good at fun facts.

— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED: umm neopets, tapatalk, various little forums, tumblr, text, discord sometimes.

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES: i love winging it and memes. i don't dislike plotting, i'm just not very good at it and it makes me feel like im not really offering anything, but i'm not completely against it.

— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER: mostly male. it's not really a preference so much as just that the majority of people ive written have been.

MULTI OR SINGLE MUSE: i have both. for a long time i just had single muses, but then i brought all my lower activity muses over to a single blog, and thats still low but then at least i dont have a bunch of essentially empty blogs. and i do love it i love how easy it is.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S): nat.alie dor.mer JKSHDF no reason just because i was on tumblr in 2012 where every person in the world used her. also?? jen.na col.eman? for the same reason? like i dont care if you use them i just feel like theyre so popular im tired of lookin at them sdkhf

— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: i love it. i love soft shit. everythings so difficult all the time i love when characters are soft. love to write it love to think about it.

ANGST: i! i love hurt/comfort. i love. emotional angst. but! ive known people where it's...all the time. and not in a fun way. like constantly theres something wrong and it doesn't allow for anything but. focusing on that. and i hate that. i like angst, but i need it to not be every single thing, you know? like? i love making paul sad. but i also need him to be happy now and then. unless its hurt comfort. literally idc. always. any time.

SMUT:  i! its a little awkward for me, so i really prefer it to be with someone i know, but like...i kinda love it. ive gotten into it more lately just like by myself writing some oc shit but like...its fun. and i always enjoy talking about in a less writing sense too. i love talking about my characters having sex. im admitting. i dont care. even if pauls less than welcoming about it sometimes with anyone but hugh always.

Tagged by: @nebulaties Tagging: you :]! 

[dear-ao3]

silverstone, england. the british grand prix. home race to many. insane track with an even more insane crowd. sight of pivotal moments in this season and many others. an important weekend to many.

unless of course you are logan sargeant. then it is fourth of july weekend.

welcome back everyone. its silverstone, another highlight race of the year. in true silverstone fashion, it was raining and records were broken. today is july 19, 2024 and lets hop in.

theres a lot in here. lots to unpack. and unfortunately ive had a busy two weeks and now need to speed run this to still be on time for this weekend. so. my apologies. ill go into much detail as i can but alas. im positively strapped silly for time. due to that, there might be some stuff in here thats Technically supposed to be on next weeks post and not this one but consider that i am tired. i also hand write all my notes on everything while im watching and i have a record 8 pages front and back of notes this week so. with all that in mind. lets fucking go.

-so its silverstone. england. british gp.

-big fucking deal.

-its lewis, george and lando's home race

-and!!! alex albon's, technically. he races under the thai flag but he is half thai half british and his family lives 20 minutes from silverstone so. it is also his home gp as far as i am concerned.

-as far as teams. a few of them are based in england.

-mclaren, williams, aston martin and i think thats it...

-but! a whole lot of teams (7) have their head quarters in the uk, around in and around silverstone (ish? idk my uk geography is Really Really bad). mclaren, williams, aston, mercedes, red bull, alpine and i think haas??? maybe??? anyway. big fucking weekend for everyone pretty much

-AND it'll be an even bigger deal next year because haas announced that they signed ollie bearman for the 2025 season. we all knew it was coming but it is still exciting! which means we will have now 4 (technically 5) british drivers on the grid

-anyway we will come back to silly season

-both red bull and williams ran special liveries for the british gp

the williams one was kind of especially hilarious because well:

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-that's right!

-logan hunter sargeant, literally from fort lauderdale, florida, and the only american on the grid, had to drive the british car with the british flag on it with his (half) british teammate for a british team at the british gp on fourth of july weekend. later in the team torque video he says that he wanted to find a giant american flag to wrap around himself to walk into the paddock with. unfortunately i dont think he did.

-the only other funny thing to come out of that specific team torque episode was alex albon making fun of george by texting him "yabadabado" (which is what he said over the radio after his win the week before in austria). george's response was, very simply: "hahaha. paddle later?"

-george was able to aparently get his badge back form lando, who stole it the week before or maybe the week before that

-alex also stole lando's paddock pass because lando left it on the dash of his convertible

-and every interviewer ever tried to get the drivers to comment on the max/lando incident in austria

-they were incredibly uncsuccessful

-i wont include every response here for the sake of time and also my sanity but here were some of the good ones

-upon being asked if he and max had spoken since the incident, lando said in the press conference on thursday that "yeah, we did...honestly i dont think he needed to apologize. i think like some of the things i said in the pen after the are were more just cause i was frustrated at the time. a lot of adrenaline, a lot of emotions and i probably said some things i didnt necessarily believe in, especially later on in the week. its...you know its tough. it was a pretty pathetic incident. in terms of what ended both of our races. you know, it wasnt like a hit, it wasnt like an obvious bit of contact. it was probably one of the smallest bits of contact you could have but with a pretty terrible consequence for both of us especially for myself so so yeah...he doesnt need to, i dont expect an apology from him. i dont think he should apologize. i thought it was, as a review, good racing. at times, yeah maybe very close to the edge, but like we've said, we've spoken about it. we've talked about it and were both happy to go racing again.

-max also said "the only thing i care about is maintaining my relationship with lando because we are great friends. after the race, i said we have to let things calm down because emotions run high. we immediately spoke on monday and i think we came to the conclusion that we actually really enjoyed out battle."

-so the two of them were clearly over it. i think even max said in a different interview that he went to text lando about it but lando had already texted him. this however did not stop the media from trying to milk the fuck out of it

-"it was just racing. it was the slightest bit of contact" said nico hulkenberg

-"it was fighting for a win. youre not going to just wave someone by" said danny rics

-"max will push to the limit, as most top drivers do" george said.

-"that's part of racing" yuki said.

"I didnt think anything of it. i was more concerned about my race and enjoying the teams win" said lewis. and then upon also being asked what advice lewis had for lando racing against max he said "i dont really need to (give him any). they have been racing eachother for many years.....that has nothing to do with me."

-charles though had probably the funniest response. if i can find it.

-aha

-this was coupled with the fact that charles was seen running around the paddock on i think one of the free practice days (?) wearing an inchident friendship bracelet. you know as in the "nothing just an inchident" thing from when he and max were kids

-none of the pictures were abundantly clear, but this one was the clearest i could find

-anyway, one team was absolutely not having max's "antics" from Austria and surprise surprise it was mclaren, specifically zak brown

-how many times is this now that zak brown has had things to say about red bull? idk but its been a lot

-"were seen there be a lack of respect" he said about austria and other things. "whether its financial regs, sporting, on track issues with fathers, etc. i just dont think thats how we need to go racing. im also disappointed in such a great team like red bull that the leadership almost encourages it"

-max responded to this by saying, when asked what his thoughts were about it "who is zak brown?"

-and now we speed through the rest of the pre race shit because i am tired

-mclaren sent thank yous to the teams that helped them during their fire last weekend that i think were cookies in the shape of fire extinguishers

-lando and oscar went on a bunch of radio shows leading up to the british gp, and i think surprised a fan who missed her prom to be on the show

-oscar, who has said that about half the calendar was his home race this year and even got adopted by charles to keep this bit up loudly declared that the british gp was Not his home race, just the teams. yeah its probably cause Britain colonized australia, but it was still hilarious.

-lando also met a child that was dressed as him in the paddock, people lost their minds over it

-mercedes is loosing puma and tommy hilfiger as sponsors for next year (probably because lewis is leaving i think) and im pretty sure theyre getting replaced by adidas. this is bad news if you're george russell, who perpetually looks like a tommy hilfiger ad

-danica patrick is unfortunately not actually fired from sky sports for her lizard people video, but she is taking a break from commentating until i think coat to focus on something, i dont remember what. jenson button is probably upset about this

-speaking of jenson button, he was around this weekend, driving his first ever f1 car, the williams fw22. he was very excited about it. he also did the post race interviews but we'll get there

-alex albon got overtake of the month for his double overtake in canada.

-and the dogs!

-roscoe appeared in the paddock, as he usually does. roscoe being lewis hamiltons's dog. and he was right alongside lewis slaying in his fashion week outfits as usual

-leo was also present in the paddock

-charles was asked if leo and roscoe have met up yet. they have not. but charles wants them to because leo is still young and does not have many dog friends

-and arthur leclerc, charles's younger brother, got his own leo, probably to make fun of charles.

-alex albon also released merch that was themed for his pets and matched his helmet (he has a lot of pets) and he traded merch with roscoe

-and there was of course some weird ass pr

-some very interesting ferrari pr

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-and because it was the semi finals (?) of the euros, they had everyone try to score a goal in a soccer net and it was a right disaster for everyone, but especially pierre and Esteban who i think were the only two to miss the goal? actually no oscar missed too. crofty even said "even when you two try to work together you get it wrong"

-geroge and lewis sat on the fan stage and watched the ending of the semi finals, where england won

-max was asked his favorite british food. he said it didnt exist.

-and of course, stake continues to be stake.

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-so silverstone is home to some pretty damn iconic shit, but the year i want to highlight briefly is 2022

-this was carlos's first race win. and in the car on the way to the paddock, carlos and charles ran into a fan who said to carlos "i want to see p3" and carlos, after the guy left, said "why p3?" the two of them reminisced about this in the car on the way to the track this year as well

-and it was also during that race that we got possibly the best piece of commentary ever: though goes hamilton

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-of course if you have not seen this i beg, implore and beseech you to because it is insane, but ill also give the transcript. this is crofty talking btw.

-"perez is catching charles leclerc and he Takes Him Towards The Inside, pEREZ ON THE INSIDE! CHARLES LECLERC! GIVES HIM J U S T ENOUGH SPACE! cAn PEREZ SQUEEZE PAST THEYRE GOING WHEEL TO WHEEL! towards vale now! whos gonna be last on the brakes! leclerc has that inside line! pEREZ GOES OFF THE TRACK, HE CUTS THE CHICANE, OFF GOES LECLERC, THROUGH GOES HAMILTON!!! UNBELIEVABLE STUFF!!!"

-there is a bit more in this video, but yeah. through goes hamilton man.

-speaking of hamilton, he has won the british gp a record 8 times (tying with schumacher for most gps won at a single circuit) and has won his home race more than any other driver. just some of his impressive race stats, in case you all forgot about him :)

-anyway. thats enough of that. practice.

-so practice 1 saw 4 f2 drivers and reserve drivers. ollie bearman in the haas, freshly signed, jack doohan in the alpine, still battling for an f1 seat tho we will get to silly season later, franco colapinto in the williams and isack hadjar in the red bull.

-annnnnd i cant find my notes on this hold on

-aha here we go

-so we had jenson, karun and natalie commentating on practice 1, and they mostly yapped about silly season

-so it had been raining, but it was now finally dry, though maybe not dry enough because yuki got stuck in the gravel

-oh hold on, tangent

-because we're in england, the track has the absolute stupidest names for all the corners and the turns:

-anyway, yuki got stuck in the gravel 10 minutes in and red flagged the session

-"im stuck" he said over the radio.

-once his car was cleared, everything else continued as usual

-haas had 6 new upgrades for this weekend

-most of the yapping was about ollie, who they said was i a good team at haas, even though long term he will want to get to ferrari (they use the same engines, blah blah you already know the deal)

-jenson specifically said that it was good that he was starting out in a team thats "lower on the grid" because its less pressure. he said that if kimi antonelli were to get signed by mercedes for next year "it would be a lot of pressure on [his] shoulders" because mercedes is a high ranking team

-zak brown also came on the radio and continued his anti max and red bull campaign, talking about how "lando needs to make sure (an incident like austria) doesnt happen again" because "until someone tells (max) what he's doing is incorrect i dont expect him to drive any differently" and he also said that the "stewards and the pit wall need to enforce the rules better" because "I expect the drivers to race eachother as hard as they are allowed to" but he also thought that max should have been flagged for moving under the braking, which would have prevented the incident later on

-then there was the obligatory conversation about checo. they were confused as to why checo was signed so early, especially given his recent string of bad luck in races and qualifying and seemingly in general. jenson said that "with the title fight heating up, you need both drivers" and also pointed out that the car suits max, he will likely be happy with any teammate, as long as they are helping him in the championship and not stuck way down the grid somewhere.

-last year, max had enough points to pretty much win the drivers and the constructors on his own, but this year with the fight heating up, they need both drivers getting points conssistently. but again, we will come back to silly season.

-the session ended with oscar having a hydraulics issue and limping back to the pit lane

-i didnt watch practice 2 or 3 but i do know that at one point, lando and carlos were the only cars on the track. carlos asked if any other cars were on the track, his engineer said "lando only" and carlos responded with "car-lando"

-and sky sports posted this...interesting post about it

-thus concludes the practice sessions

-which takes us right to qualifying

-which started with pierre getting a 50 place grid penalty for replacing pretty much his whole engine. i think that this was because it wasnt working???

-q1 was a tad of a disaster.

-the practice sessions had been led by lando, lando, and george. red bull were aparently worried because they had aparently been going and standing outside of the mclaren garage and trying to peek in.

-but it was damp which meant the intermediate tires were out

-still, people were sliding. and someone. perhaps it was crofty, perhaps it was ted, idk, said "the difference is that youre sliding between an uh oh and a yeehaw"

-and checo was on the uh oh side because he ended up in the gravel. and he was stuck. which meant that he was out. in q1. again.

-checo really did not want to be out and over radio he said "all i need is to be pushed back, there's tarmac over there" which is is not allowed to do because that counts as outside assistance.

"can they pull me forwards?" checo asked over radio a minute later. "That would count as mechanical assistance, you wouldn't be able to rejoin qualifying"

-so they red flagged to get him out, and then it started raining

-max went off into the gravel in the same spot as checo, but he managed to get back on

-it was a very tight elimination round, but we ended up loosing pierre, checo, esteban, kevin and valtteri

-which MEANT that for the first time this year ZHOU WAS THROUGH TO Q2 IN A RACE QUALIFYING and he had OUTQUALIFIED HIS TEAMMATE!!

-AND!!! LOGAN WAS THROUGH TO Q2 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A RACE QUALIFYING AS WELL!!

-esteban though was pissed. "the only lap i have to push was the lap it was wet!" he complained loudly over the radio.

-heading into q2, max had some floor damage from his trip into the gravel, but he managed to stay in

-and charles was having problems, as seems to be usual. he was fighting his tires. he was not doing well at all. he ended up getting out in q2.

-logan also got out, but he was in p12. an all time, record high for him this year.

-we also lost zhou, yuki and daniel

-q3 was where the real fun happened

-zak brown thought that it was going to come down to merc and mclaren for pole cause max had damage. zak brown was correct.

-lando started out on provisional pole with a 1:26.03

-then george went .006 faster than lando, taking provisional pole with a 1:26.024

-max tried to go faster than the both of them, but only ended up in fifth

-toto had aparently promised to be quiet on the radio until the whole of qualifying was over, lol

-lewis briefly went faster than george, taking provisional pole, but then george snapped it back with a 1:25.819, putting him on pole! with lewis p2 and lando p3! the three brits in the top 3 for the british gp! the last time there were three brits in the top 3 of qualifying was in 1968 in south africa.

-and. surprisingly. nico hulkenberg. was faster than carlos. he qualified 6 while carlos qualified 7, making nico the fastest driver with a ferrari engine. Interesting.

-but back to the brits

-lando was excited for some good battles in the rain tomorrow and said that lewis and george both put in good laps

-lewis said that the "car felt great" (whatever upgrades they've put in it clearly seem to be working) and he said that "there was still time left on the table, which george managed to find"

-george said that "the car at the moment is feeling so so good" but also that it was "going to be tight with lando and max will be fast well"

-and then the post show was well. interesting.

-toto was pleased with the front row lock out, the last time merc had one was in 2022 in brazil

-jolyon palmer said that it was a "really good effort" from logan, who absolutely needed a good qualifying this week (logan also has now out qualified checo seven times this season alone. out of 12 races)

-and the ferrari. oof. laura winter said it great. "the car hasn't looked or felt good for charles or carlos all weekend" the two of them managed to qualify 11 for charles and 7 for carlos. which is kinda abysmal.

-horner was also asked about checo. "to go out in q1 is not what we can afford" he said. and he was also asked about checos contract, but said pretty much nothing about it, as in, if they are thinking of replacing him mid season. he did say earlier though that at the moment they are a "one car team" and that checo is "nowhere."

-and well that is our cue

-our cue to talk about silly season

-as we know, ollie bearman got signed to haas. ollie is presently (or at least he was at the time of the race) 14th in the f2 standings. (f2 does have more drivers in it than f1, there are 22 drivers)

-one of the red bull mechanics, whose name i do not know, posted an instagram story after the ollie announcement saying that "im not knocking this kids abilities, we all saw how good he was when he stepped in the ferrari this year. but he is p14 in the f2 championship, 89 points off of the championship leader paul aron who has no f1 seat secured for next year. what more does paul from have to do? 😅"

-then he posted a follow up story saying "a few of you are missing my point. im not slandering barman singing, nor his talent. but what more does the championship leader have to do to secure a drive in f1?"

-and hes kinda right tbh. lets take a very very brief intermission for a second to talk about f2 with the disclaimer that i know very very little about f2

-théo pourchaire won the f2 championship in 2023. he did not get an f1 seat, tho i think it was close between him and logan (maybe?) at williams for 2024. he was briefly driving for the arrow mclaren indy car team this year and then kind of inexplicably got fired (idk what's going on there if you really wanna know do your own research but i know they've been through a bunch of drivers)

-felipe drugovich was the 2022 f2 champion, he is presently the test and reserve driver at aston martin f1, he never got an f1 seat

-oscar piastri was the 2021 f2 champion, he got a seat at mclaren f1 in 2023 and was the test and reserve driver at alpine f1 for 2022

-mick schumacher won the 2020 f1 championship, he got a seat at haas f1 for 2021 and 2022 before he got let go by gunther steiner (gunther didnt like him, i really dont know why) and then be became the test and reserve driver for mercedes f1 and he also competes in the world endurance championship in alpine hyper car

-nyck de vries was the 2019 f2 champion. he did not get an f1 seat in 2020. he subbed in for alex albon at williams in the italian gp when he had to have his appendix out back in ... 2022? and then got signed to alpha tauri f1 in 2023 but was replaced mid season by daniel ricciardo

-george russell was the 2018 f2 champion and he was signed by williams f1 for the 2019 year. he was later signed to mercedes in 2022.

-so of all those names, only two are presently still on the grid. and oscar had to still take a year before he got signed, george and mick were the only ones in recent history to get signed immediately after winning.

-but thats not to say that other drivers havent been brought up from f2 to f1 who havent won

-aside from ollie we have also had logan sargeant, who finished in 4th in 2022 (behind liam lawson (who is still waiting for his red bull seat), théo porchaire, and filipe drugovich), zhou guyanu, who finished in third in 2021, yuki tsunoda who finished in third in 2020, and nikita mazepin who finished in fifth in 2020 (he briefly drove for haas, long story), nicholas latifi who finished second in 2019 (he was a williams driver for 2 years before logan), and of course, lando norris who finished second in 2018 and alex albon who finished third in 2018

-theres probably others that i am forgetting but alas. the signing of ollie does really beg the question of what the hell do you need to do to get an f1 seat besides have an inordinate amount of luck. because also, as we have seen, despite doing well in f2 some of the time the same people dont do super great in f1

-aside from that tangent

-haas needs a second driver

-and right now it seems like they are not going to re sign kevin, they are going to sign esteban ocon

-i have no other information on that except that its a possibility.

-then theres also the checo problem

-as horner said, they need two red bulls fighting for podiums and checo is currently Not doing that

-red bull is pretty much Just Max right now

-but checo has already signed an extension

-however when red bull do contracts i remember reading somewhere that you get signed to the red bull entity or something, which allows them to legally do the swaps (idk just trust me) so they could still swap him with Someone (and they could axe him. they've done it before)

-aparently according to some gossip pages theres a clause in checo's contract that says that he cant be more than 100 points or 5 places behind max in the drivers championship by belgium. belgium is in 2 races from silverstone. unclear if this is for his present contract or the next one or if theres any truth in this at all.

-also. red bull are notoriously ruthless with their drivers and often have dropped and resigned and swapped people like snap. so i think if they were planning to do this they would have by now. also he has an extension, as we said

-that has not stopped speculation tho

-there is more speculation that it would be daniel getting checo's seat in a swap. why daniel over yuki, idk, especially because yuki is out performing daniel. it might have something to do with max's preference because max has had daniel as a teammate before from mid 2015 (?) - 18.

-it does seem that that was the original plan as well, to swap daniel and checo at the start of the season, based on pr and other things (see the red bull cans i mentioned like idk several updates ago), but daniel had a bad start to the season and checo did not

-aparently max also had a decent chunk of say in checo getting re signed

-tbh, idk what to ever believe about red bull. cause lets remember everyone thought that daniel was getting cut before silverstone and now theyre saying he could be up for a red bull seat so ! whos to say

-then as usual we have carlos. hes still jobless. tho pierre said that he wants carlos as a teammate. as we know, the alpine seat seems to be between mick, jack and carlos and mick had his test scheduled during the off week after silverstone (yes its already happened since this post is late, no im not talking about it here im making you wait until the next one tee hee)

-toto also aparently reopened the possibility of carlos getting the merc seat. who knows how true that it but apparently its possible. toto also said about kimi possibilities that "a champion needs to perform in cold water and needs to swim"

-kimi antonelli had a response to this, and it was to have his first f2 win this weekend in silverstone

-and james vowels is still talking about logan. specifically about replacing logan. "i want to give him every opportunity" mr alphabet said "but there will be a lone in the same where we have to make a decision for '25 and maybe for something this year"

-so with all that

-the race

-before the race started though, a quick word from everyone's favorite monaco based youtuber

-yes thats right

-nico rosberg was in the paddock

-well, kinda

-he was at the race with an electric bus of grad students that he was sponsoring to look at travel and biodiversity

-and of course, sky sports asked him who he thought was going to win

-and of course he said lewis hamilton

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-but we all know about the great nico rosberg curse. would he thwart lewis? only time will tell

-and its race time

-checo decided to replace his power unit so he was starting from the pit lane

-pierre had some kind of problem in the great box on the formation lap and had to retire his car pretty much before the race even started

-but the lights went out, away they went

-max got ahead of lando almost instantly and the top three all managed to get out of drs of eachother

-rain was expected around lap 6. because its silverstone. and its always raining around here.

-this was great news for mercedes because they really like cooler conditions

-it was bad news tho for anyone trying to stick to a tire strategy, because the lack of Precise news when the rain would hit made it hard to determine when and if intermediate tires would be needed at all

-lap 18 was when the pit stop window was set to open, but pretty much everyone stayed out, maintaining their pace to hold out for inters because the rain was supposed to hit at any moment

-the rain started on lap 14

-and lando was closing on max for third. he was .657 off

-he passed max on lap 15 on the straight, very clean and orderly and nothing like austria

-so it was raining

-we had george out in front, with lewis 1.546 seconds behind, lando 3.015 seconds behind him, and 1.062 seconds behind him and oscar 1.218 seconds behind him.

-drs was still active and oscar had drs on max

-he passed max on lap 17 for fourth

-and then lewis passed george on lap 18 for first

-at this point it was pretty damn wet on track

-and everyone was still on their slicks (tires meant for a dry track)

-so things were getting slippery

-so slippery that both mercedes manages to go off track, allowing lando to pass gorge for second on lap 19

-and drs was turned off because of the low grip

-this did not stop the mclarens, who were here with an absolute vengence

-lando passed lewis for p1 on lap 20 and then immediately oscar passed george for p2

-so we had a mclaren mercedes mclaren mercedes and then max. and it was raining.

-people started to box for intermediate tires, namely charles and checo. this would be a mistake.

-oscar passed george for p2

-the top four was running pretty close together, which would be vital later on

-lando was on p1, 1.389 seconds behind him was oscar in p2, then 1.047 seconds behind him was lewis in p3 and .927 seconds behind him was george in p4

-lewis was offered intermediate tires on lap 21. he said no. it was too early. he was correct.

-checo came on the radio on lap 22 and conformed this, saying that "its too dry man, its too fucking dry" for intermediate tires (this is because the intermediate and the wet tires look like normal car tires, with treads to push the water away and when youre going super fucking fast this just causes the car to slide around if you have no water to push out of the way)

-also having this problem were esteban, charles, and zhou who had all put on intermediate tires

-theyre "all living on a prayer at the moment" crofty said. and they were

-esteban pitted for medium tires. charles stayed out, in true baffling ferrari fashion

-charles went off the track on lap 25. and he was starting to get lapped.

-"its too early for inters" oscar said on lap 26. and as charles was proving, he was still correct

-but by lap 27 it was definitely time for inters

-first max and carlos pitted (yes, charles had been put on inters but carlos had not been. interesting), then lando pitted, but oscar was too close to him (only .304 behind him) so they couldnt double stack the cars because oscar would loose too much time in the pits, so they left him out an extra lap on the slicks (which turned out to be a bad call), mercedes did a flawless double stack

-max's pit got him a little closer back towards the front

-which meant only one thing

-it was hammer time

-aka when lewis absolutely fucking sends the shit out of it

-so after the pit stops on lap 30 we had

-lando, +3.115 lewis, +4.353 max, +3.012 george, +3.011 carlos, +4.983 oscar

-everyones tires were starting to degrade, oscars were not because he did one extra lap on them, but he was 19 seconds behind lando

-the rain was supposed to last until lap 40

-charles pitted for another set of inters

-on lap 34 george was told to retire the car, seemingly out of nowhere

-"shit, fuck" he said over the radio

-"amen to that, i'll see if i can figure out what happened" ted said

-aparently it was a water systems issue. the car wasnt cooling itself properly and would have exploded if it had kept going

-"george russell is the only person to be affected by a lack of water issue in silverstone today" crofty said. and he was right. but we didnt have time to think about that because things were happening

-things were that lewis was closing in on lando. he was 2.058 seconds off on lap 36

-lando was loosing time. but he had an extra set of mediums. mercedes only had softs and hards. this was good for lando. he could still hold first if he pitted for the right tire at the right time

-lewis boxed on lap 38 for softs

-max boxed on lap 39 for hards

-oscar pitted on lap 39 for mediums

-and lando pitted on lap 40 for softs

-why did he do this when the preferred tire was a medium? no one knows. he was given the choice and aparently he picked softs

-lando also had a slow stop. he spent 4.5 seconds in the pit box.

-lando came out in second, behind lewis

-"norris same tire" bono, lewis's race engineer said to him. "leave me to it mate" lewis said.

-so we had a three way battle. lewis was 2.520 seconds ahead of lando who was 3.273 seconds ahead of max. anyone could win it

-and it became very clear, very quickly, that lando had chosen the wrong tire to win the race on

-still, lewis was holding lando somehow around 2.5 seconds behind him on lap 46

-by lap 47 though max had gotten within drs range of lando

-there were five laps to go

-"if youve got any finger nails left i would be utterly amazed" crofty said

-but no one was listening to him because max managed to pass lando on lap 48

-by lap 49 max was 3.349 seconds behind lewis and closing, but it became clear that he didnt have quite enough time to pass lewis

-sainz and perez both pitted on lap 51 for softs to try and get the fastest lap

-but lewis was still holding out in front

-heading into the last lap max was 2.760 seconds behind him. he didnt have enough to pass

-it was "prime lewis hamilton in his prime real estate" (according to ted) as he zoomed towards the finish

-"DONT CALL IT A COMEBACK, HE'S BEEN HERE FOR YEARS" alex jaques yelled as lewis crossed the line

-he had done it!

-LEWIS HAMILTON WON THE 2024 SILVERSTONE GP!!!!!

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-now why was this a big deal?

-well

-*cracks knuckles*

-the last time lewis hamilton won was in saudi arabia in 2021, it was his 103rd victory (at that point he had already surpassed schumachers 91 win record)

-with this victory at silverstone lewis

-became the first driver to win after their 300th start in f1 (other drivers with over 300 starts for context here include rubens barrichello, michael schumacher, jenson button, fernando alonso and kimi raikkonen) (this was lewis's 344th start)

-became the oldest winner of the 21st century (39 years and 182 days)

-now held the longest gap between first and last wins (17 years and 1 month)

-held the record for most wins at a single circuit (9) (he previously shared this record with schumacher)

-became the driver to have the most podiums at a single circuit (15)

-became the driver to have the most consecutive podiums at a single circuit (12)

-extended his record for most podiums (199)

-and extended his record for most wins (104)

-it was also his 150th podium with mercedes

-and since mercedes also won in austria with george, they are now the first team other than red bull to win back to back in the last 3 seasons

-also we have now had six whole different race winners in one season, and it was the first time since 2022 that max has gone more than one race without a win

-in any case, it was a very important race for lewis, and he was very emotional over his win, as he should be, because it shows that he still had it. which was really important for him after getting essentially robbed of his 8th world title in abu dhabi 2021 cause of the safety car call and all of that

-he was incredibly emotional getting out of the car, hugging his dad and doing his immediate post interview

-jenson button hosted the post race interviews and he and lewis were actually teammates at mclaren years ago. jenson was also pretty much basically crying interviewing lewis while lewis was also crying.

-"ive never seen you this emotional after a race" jenson said. "yeah...i just cant stop crying...i wanted to win so much for them...forever grateful to everyone at mercedes," lewis said. "it's been 2.5 years since you've won a race, i need thought we'd say that about you" jenson said. "you gotta continue to dig deep even when youre at the bottom of the barrel" lewis said

-he elaborated on this later in the press conference

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-as an aside here, pretty much everyone in the world congratulated lewis on his win, but the one that i am going to highlight was sebastian vettel's instagram story

-people were pretty quick to point out that the capitalization and the periods make it very likely that seb himself posted this and not whoever runs his ig account

-and nico rosberg! who we know was there! was entirely silent on the whole ordeal! even though he predicted it! did he break the rosberg curse or is lewis just immune to it? we may never know

-anyway

-despite his emotions, he was still able to absolutely pick apart exactly what went wrong with lando's race in the cool down room

-"you stayed out too long" lewis said. "you could've gone on mediums...wouldve been faster probably"

-this only managed to fuel lando's epic sulk fest that was happening in the cool down too,

-and lewis was right, mclaren absolutely fucked up the call at the end there. they could have had probably a double podium if they had double stacked oscar and put lando on the mediums

-this didnt stop lando though from making oscar do a shoe post race with his own shoe, and then chucking oscars shoe into the crowd

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-max though, decided to shit on mclarens shit strategy it post race

-another team with abysmal calls this weekend was none other than ferrari

-"I am not feeling good, it's too much now. it's too many races, i dont know what to say anymore when i come here. we just have to reset as a team but yeah, there is always a different reason why it doesn't click" charles said post race

-he also filmed his post race ferrari video inside, out of his race gear and it was clearly scripted, which was Highly Unusual

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-fred, the team principal, claimed that both charles and carlos were given the same information about the rain and the tire choice. "we gave the drivers the same infos on track conditions, but charles and carlos were in different parts of the track. carlos was copying max's race while charles was behind stroll and 10 seconds behind. this made the team and charles make a decision."

-people who watched the driver view and listened to the team radios disagreed.

-charles was told "heavy rain on next lap" and carlos was told "chance of rain in sector 3"

-pretty immediately after the race, ferrari released this team statement

-ok now there was a lot that happened in the post race show, it was actually a very good post race show but unfortunately i am sleepy and wont talk about all of it

-tldr: alpine was a shit show, checo continues to not impress (and red bull were testing liam lawson the week after, the team dont have anything to loose really by putting a different driver in so Why Wouldn't They?), logan had a great performance (ended p11 but it could be too little too late, mclaren continue to have strategy problems as do ferrari, aston seems to have fixed their car a little cause they didnt suck, haas absolutely slayed in fact they kinda slayed better than ferrari did and nice was on pace with max at one point

-and they talked about the f1 movie

-essentially theres an f1 movie coming out next year with brad pitt and damson idris and they've filmed some of it at races and stuff actually they filmed some interviews at the paddock in silverstone while some of the drivers (lando) were having the worst time and it was pure comedy

-anyway. the trailer for it came out and no i havent watched it but. lewis hamilton is a producer of the film, aparently hes been pretty involved and well. first of all they interviewed the director of the film who pretty much said that basically everything that is in the movie has happened in real life. and well lets take a look here

-here we have our two main characters right

-and then here we have mercedes in 2015 ish (lewis hamilton and nico rosberg, fmaously in the thick of their rivalry)

-were all seeing this? right????

-lewis hamilton what the hell are you up to buddy

-they interviewed lewis's dad at one point, which i will talk about. antony said that "i know lewis and as far as im concerned he still has everything he needs to run at the top...when lewis gives his best he usually ends up with the win...its the dams that come to the british gp.... you never know what youre going to get there but you do get a spectacle"

-and will buxton closed out the post race show with this, which i will leave you all with:

"we said we could whisper it a few weeks ago, now we can shout it, f1 2024: we have got a season!"

-see you all in budapest

(also ps this post is now long enough that i cant see reblogs so if theres anything you want me to know or see put it in the replies)

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

[xx-neon]

july 4th

hi again.

i was planning on writing more. the whole point of this was to get my feelings out everyday to cope but its been awhile.

again, if youre not me reading this. good luck.

so my ex broke up with me right? so much happened that i didnt know about. im tired of talking about it really since its been such a hot topic (my ex and i work together too and share a lot of the same friends) thats the cherry on top lol.

he has a new girlfriend. they started dating the day he left.

ouch.

another ouch? 

im her manager at work

looking at it now. this is all one giant hilarious cluster fuck LOL.

im not going to go into details of the messy stuff since its a dead horse at this point.

do i seem happier?

i actually tried killing myself. 

not because of him though. hes a loser with nothing going for him so that would be a waste. i did it because of all the emotions after what happened. i didnt have enough time to find somewhere to live. i couldnt bring my cat with me if i moved with my parents far away. i felt like the whole world was against me and i didnt do anything to deserve it. and it wasnt going to get better. i talked about being in a hole and trying to climb out in my last post. this hole extended 1000 ft in the ground and there was no sign of light. i had no sign of light in me. i didnt eat for a week. i drank everyday. i couldnt sleep. why me? what did i do wrong? is this my karma for being me?

so i really did it.

obviously it didnt work lol. im still here. i spent 6 days in the hospital. one in the ER and 5 in the BHU. i was diagnosed with an eating disorder, major depressive disorder and psychosis. i got help for my drinking too. whoo 

this sounds cringy. but i feel reborn. i didnt mention in my last post but i have BPD (boarderline personality disorder). ive been diagnosed for about 10 years. most of those spent unmedicated and out of therapy so i was really rawdogging life LOL. if you know anything about BPD its probably the worst thing to deal with. thankfully im self aware so i havent ruined my life but fuck man everyone else ruins it for me. 

im in extensive therapy. im on like what... 4 medications?? and i just feel like life is great. ewwww so cringe LOL. but seriously. it is. i dont think ive ever felt so normal in my life. my anxiety is gone. paranoia is gone. my head feels so light now im not bogged down. idk its just so nice. i smile at work now. i smile when i see my friends that i never knew i had. i just know how great life can be.

but then theres this.

schadenfreude

its a german word for basically feeling happy off of someone elses misery.

thats how i feel towards my ex

i know i know its fucked up. but what he did to me isnt?

i never said i was a good person LOL.

i love i just LOVE hearing about how miserable he looks and how happy i look. i revel in it. i cherish in it. i frolic in a field of flowers in it LOL.

okay. we get it. but seriously. i knew karma would come. thats why i learned to stay silent. yes i did lash out and have a mental breakdown wouldnt we all? but he lost friends over this. people think hes fucked up. that in itself makes me feel better. ya know schadenfreude. i do wish he could be a better person but i dont wish him the best. him feeling like this is good. he’ll learn from it. he’ll learn he cant always get away with being an asshole. karma will continue to come his way and she wont hold back. 

ill try to write more now that im happy. 

xx

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] NO BUT THATS GENUINELY EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING 2 MEEE im covering my face fr blush blush like gosh bc i never rlly thought of someone else liking and be influenced with my ideas till i realize. its cus i barely have ppl whom i express it for them to vibe LMAOOO u and other special moots (which is just. 1 other moot i kiss theym) i hold u so dear LIKE YKNOW everytime i have A Thought or i go to my lil private space where ive already word vomit my xiao and lumine bs im like uhehe augh wehehhrhg aur *unintelligible* should i pick this out wud aly like this thoght like i be sending 47827473 asks by then of rewording my jargon to at least be Comprehensible and then again i thought it might not. make as much Sense when in common consensus its not as romantic and too Slow for others but i did have hope youd get it (which u did!!!! and it still blows my mind everytime the joy never gets old to be understood of ur special silly thinkings in overwritten essays cus i cannot. articulate things properly HRHHRHEKDKFHDH)

like i genuinely get worried sumtimes bc with me rambling i mightve unintentionally forced u into my thoughts and agendas even when its just fun exchange and things!! and i really Really dont want mine to override the ideas u have like yknow bc u have god tier ideas too that i still think abt like the fUGK. like i spit Way too much abt zhongli xiao but i also dont see it like the former Pampers the latter too much like a baby than just wanting to ease the suffering like any other person. anyway bottom line i dont want to take away ur prev enjoyment before i came in too cus gosh i get carried away sumtimes but its the Only way to get the interpretation across UEUEUEUE ANYWAY (2) I JUST!!!! GRHGRHSHHH GRAAHHH BITES MY PILLOW U HAVE NO IDEA POPPING INTO THIS INBOX AFTER MY LIL COMMENT ON UR AO3 HAS MADE MY LIL. my little lonely life thinking xiaolumi is a Tad Different feel so Better 💕💗💕💖💞💞💗💞💖💞💞💗💕💖💕💓💕💕💖💕💗💕💗💕💕💗💕💗💞💖💞💞💗💞💖💞💗💞💗💞💗💞💗💞💖💞💞💗💞💗💞💗💕💕💗

ILYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY i absolutely pinkie prommie that you have NOT forced me into having any thoughts or being part of any agenda, in the past that would Definitely Be Possible i was like incapable of having opinions BUT i am a grown girlboy now and like. idk even when some of the besties share ideas its rly easy to pick apart "i am adding this to my own thoughts Immediately this is perfect" "oh i genuinely rly like that" "oh mad respect but not for me" "oh What The Fuck" (<- that ones for the dottore fuckers) and to keep my own thoughts intact and such,, none of what uve said has overridden any of my own ideas its more like. a) me soaking up ur thoughts like a sponge or b) ur thoughts Fanning The Flames for my own thoughts adding fuel to the fire etc etc like they consistently add and make things better than what i tend to think of on my own but they've never pushed my own thoughts aside in the process yknow ?? idk if that made sense i am Very Tired writing this sob emoji

i Also get carried away i think we both get mad carried away we are like two little silly guys floating in the wind flinging each other further and further out into the atmosphere with no sign of stopping and i love that for us <3

AND NO BC I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THAT like. literally it wouldve been so easy for you to Not Comment or to Not check my silly little blog or to Not send an ask but you DID and i am SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love love love talking to you i love discussing our silly little ideas i love losing our minds you are so. idk even if we WEREN'T so often on the same wavelength and weren't interested in the same things you are just so so so fun to talk to and to be around !!!!!! and youre so passionate and it makes hearing u talk abt the things u love That Much Better its so. 💞💗💞💖💞💞💗💕💖💕💓💕💕💖💕💗💕💗💕💕💗💕💗💞💗💞💖💞💞💗💕💖💕💓💕💕💖💕💗💕💗💕💕💗💕💗💞💗💞💖💞💞💗💕💖💕💓💕💕💖💕💗💕💗💕💕💗💕💗 LIKE FR !!!!!!!!!!!!!! ILYSM I HOPE UR DAYS BEEN GOING WELL AND I HOPE IT GETS EVEN BETTER !!!!!! and if any part of it Doesnt go well. well. i am sleepwalking my ass over there to beat up all the bad parts and then we will hold hands amen

[heartachebf]

dude my brains going so fast rn

[whaleofatjme1920]

Red string of fate event

Lynx (ill be writing as Quill, i feel like thats obvious), SCP, she/her, in my twenties

To whomever this may concern

Wait no that's too professional, i dont really have any correction tapes with me at the moment and i dont wanna scribble over the letter so whoops

I dont really know what to write? Dr. Tjme told me to write a letter to a chinese deity and i think thats neat but without a person to write too its kinda confusing

Forgive me if you think i talk too much, i drank a 5 hour energy and i haven't slept for 24. Besides that im sure who ever you are, you'll be great! If this letter is even real...

I just hope who ever my soulmate is can handle me... Idk ive just had lovers in the past and one of the prominent things ive found out about them is that they cant keep up with me, saying im too annoying or im too loud, i totally get it but yeesh man yknow? But i just want someone to hold me and tell me im loved (ew, lol)

Frankly this whole thing has me confused, i just hope this works! And if this is an office prank, well then screw you! You made me spill out my heart and love life secrecy onto this letter

Mwah

- Dr. Quill

Along with the letter, Quill decided to leave an assortment of fruit along side as the offering

[Disclaimer: The Red String of Fate event is a special event I'm running from August 12th, to whenever I feel it necessary to end - right now, I'm giving it to the first week of September! Check out rules HERE]

Long are the nights of wistfully yearning for someone. Long are the mornings wishing for someone to hold you in their arms. As you twist and turn through a restless night, a god sleepily reads over your letter. He smiles as the moonlight clouds around your words and the offerings you've left him. He's especially pleased by the oranges. As he snacks upon the fruits and checks over the people in your immediate life, and those who exist within your circle but are yet to come into contact with you, his cat moves around in his dwelling. He knows you want someone patient, some one kind and understanding but who still can push you to greater heights.

The sound of soft, subtle purrs bring to his attention a man that is also resting, or at least trying to. The sweet old feline hums away, pouncing softly on the floor before bringing back the God's favorite spool of red thread, dripping with crimson zircons and rubies. He takes a piece and ties it to your pinky, the right, and then looks to your soul mate. He chuckles as the thread winds through the streets, over the tops of trees and curls around the earthly clouds themselves.

Yes, Yue Lao thinks as he ties the thread over the man's left pinky, this will be a very auspicious match. And just like that, the God tethers the two of you together, his lips curled into a tired smile before he allows his cat to cut the thread binding soul mates from the spool. He places it down gently, calls his cat to his side, and rests.

In the morning, the man rises. His dark hair curls over his eyes before he tiredly brushes his back. He's unaware of the thread that's placed along his pinky, too tired to even recognize it's tug. His eyes are not yet opened to it like yours are. He goes about his morning before heading off to work, still unaware of its pull.

You wake with a start, feeling the warmth, like a hug, of the red string along your pinky. You gawk at it, amazed that the thread is so bright and glows with every movement from who you assume is your soul mate. You try not to think of it too deeply as you move about your home and get ready for work, following the string alongside your routine. You're vaguely amused that it seems to be leading to a coworker.

Mornings at the Foundation are odd, sometimes busy, but other times quiet. Depending on the task forces being sent out, if there were any breeches, the state of the place, the mornings can be quiet, and almost peaceful. You barely greet the ladies at the front desk as you sign in, flashing your researcher status to them as you follow the twisting string.

The closer you get to him, the more your heart flutters. You realize you're reaching a string of offices. These are some of the higher ups, aren't they? You feel heat rise to your cheeks as the thread glows brighter, a brilliant shade of passion as you draw nearer and nearer. Your right hand is held in front of you as a guide.

And you see it, the office of the man that's your soulmate. Your stomach fills with butterflies as you read the name, barely able to contain the excitement and odd bout of anxiety that's sprouted within you. This is who Yue Lao thought would be your soulmate?

You use your right hand to knock on the door and pull it open when a gruff voice allows you entrance. As you pull it open, you're greeted to his slightly surprised expression that his left hand has been jerked forwards. His emerald like eyes widen as he finally takes notice of the thread. He sees you bathed in a rosy color, unsure of what the hell was going on but the butterflies have come alive in himself as well.

"Good morning, Dr. Kondraki," you breathe, waving your right hand at him.

He waves back with his left. "Dr." He mirrors in an unsure tone. He invites you to sit in front of him, and hesitantly you do so. The two of you stare at the thread linking your pinkies together, then back up at each other, small, almost knowing smiles gracing your lips.

You've never really spoken to Dr. Kondraki before, but there's better time to start than now.

[nahoyaglock]

WHEN I STOP BREATHING..

pairings! ushijima x reader

summary! sitting on the beach, so close to each other they can hear each other’s heartbeats. They both smile and they watch the world end right in front of them, reminiscing on all they’ve been through together. Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

genre! angst

word count! didnt bother actually counting so ill estimate maybe 2000+

warnings! end of the world, death, murder mention, slight ooc ushijima idk its the end of the world so pff

a/n! uh idk i wanna hurt people, sorry if this is bad i havent written in a while :p i feel like the beginning was really good, the middle was ass and the end was okay but hoh im happy enough w this. I also cried writing this ngl lmaoo also did not fix any errors so my bad

You knew it was coming, you both did. New reports, articles, it was trending on all social media platforms. It was unavoidable, what could you do but waste away your last few days, watching old shows you watched as a kid, harsh knocks and cries from your doors from friends and family. You couldnt face them, you just wanted to drown out the thought of what was coming the next few hours of the day.

You had woken up and sluggishly dragged yourself from the comfort of your bed to your dirty kitchen, littered with dirty dishes and some uneaten food that youd try to make, but didn't have the stomach to eat. Your phone rang atleast every hour or two, many unanswered calls and long voicemails you couldnt bother to listen to.

There was a knock on your door, and you sighed, not wanting to bother with facing the person at the door. You turned on your heels, about to head to your room when you heard the voice call out to you.

"y/n."

Out of all the people why did it have to be him. You bit your lip and let out shaky breaths. You took another step, freezing at another set of knocks. The last persom you wanted to see was your boyfriend.

"y/n let me in or ill tear this door down." His voice was stern, laced with seriousness and slight concern. You wanted to open it, let him in and crumble into his arms, but it hurt so bad.

"Go away." You spoke, loud enough to be heard through the door, but not loud enough to be a yell.

"y/n."

You hesitantly walked to the door, unlocking the bottom lock, the top lock remaining unlocked, too bothersome for you to have delt with anyways. At the sound of the click of the locks he opened the door with quick motions, while also being careful not to knock you over.

At the sight of his big frame you felt like the world had just stabbed you through the chest 28 times. You backed up with quick steps are your boyfriend reached out to hug you, scared that his touch would break down your facade. You tripped over your own feet, landing hard on your butt.

"Ush.. Ushijima," you started, not knowing exactly what you were trying to say, "Please dont touch me."

His heart sank when he saw you, lifeless and so frail. He guessed you havent been getting much sleep- or maybe too much sleep, and not eating as he took a quick glance towards the food littered kitchen counter.

It wasnt any better for you, seeing your normally cold and calm boyfriend with a worried expression and eye bags that made it obvious he hasnt got much sleep either.

You pull yourself up, your eyes boring through your boyfriends abdomen as you bit your lip, trying to think of what to say, and to also keep yourself from falling apart. "What do you want?"

"y/n. Dont be cold to me." It wasnt a question, but it wasnt a demand. "Sorry," you mumbled, leaving you two in silence for a while.

"Ushi, you should go home," you said, feeling your heart race, every second you spent in his presence, under his gaze, killed you. "You should call Tendou or something."

"Toshi." He said, making your head shoot up, looking him in his eyes, seeing a tear roll down his cheek, his face remaining mostly emotionless, fear slightly present in his eyes. "Please keep calling me Toshi."

You felt a pang in your heart, suddenly the reality of things hitting you. You were the only one going through this, you knew this but never gave it more than a mere thought. He was scared, he didnt know what he was doing, he just knew to find comfort in you, like youve told him to for many years into your relationship.

"Toshi," you breathed, reaching up to wipe the tear from his cheek, "Toshi lets go somewhere."

You never felt the need to go outside, wanting to be isolated, but being here with your boyfriend, you felt like running away, wanting to escape from the dark pit of your home. "Lets go to the beach"

"y/n–"

"Lets go. Lets go, right.. right now Toshi," you felt as if though youve felt shoked by lightning, like you suddenly got hit with some sugar rush.

"We dont have time–"

"We do Toshi, we do, we do," you saw the corner of his lips raise up into a small smile. He hated seeing you like this but he was glad you were more alive than you were minutes before. You knew this, what he was thinking, and you knew his smile had so much sadness behind it, "we have time, lets go, lets go!"

You grabbed his hand and dragged him out of your apartment, not bothering to change from your days out clothing or close the door behind you. It wouldnt matter in another hour anyways.

The ride there was mostly silent, songs playing quietly on the radio. You watched as you passed through the town, the streets were slightly empty, stores looked run down, some stores even tore up and empty.

"Has it been like this since.. since the announcement?" You mumbled, earning a hum for Ushijima.

"Yeah, yeah it has." He knew that you didnt go out, and he was slightly grateful for it. The world went to shit after the announcement, many lootings, murders and other various crimes being commited.

"Im glad your safe Toshi," you spoke into your palm.

"Im glad your safe too."

The ride went on in silence until you got to the beach. You both climbed out of the car, the beautiful blue sea sparkling under the sunny sky. It was funny how such a depressing day could look so so beautiful.

"Hmm, this is the beach we went to with the team our senior year, remember?" He asked and turned to face you. The fear in his eyes was much more evident in the light, along with signs of personal neglict. He hasnt been taking good care of himself either.

You walk around the front of the car to grab his hand, your small hands tracing light circles on his rough palms before linking your hands together, giving him a comforting squeeze. "I remember."

He let out a shaky breath he didnt know he was holding in, and you two found a nice spot on the beach to sit and watch the sky. "Toshi, do you remember the time goshiki got gummy bears stuck in his nose?"

He looked at you, and his face softened, "yeah. Yeah i do." He let out a small chuckle at the thought of his old teammates. "Do you remember when Tendou took my water bottle and filled it with really sour lemonade?" He asked, you could hear his voice unravel into a more comfortable tone, instead of one holding in so much hurt and fear.

"Ha, i actually helped him with that you know?" You spoke up, a small grin on your lips as your boyfriend grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him. "We'll its okay, because it was 2 years ago."

It had been 2 years. 2 years since you had become shiratorizawas manager, 2 years since you made the number 1 ace fall head over heels for you, 2 years since you had went on your first date with him.

"2 years, its been so long." You laid your head on Ushijimas arm, feeling tired. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and placed a kiss atop your head.

"Thats when we first started dating," you spoke, shoulders shaking with a small laugh, "i would've never imagined to have the nations number 1 ace fall so madly in love with me." You laughed and turned to your boyfriend to continue your teasing, but stopped when you saw him looking back at you.

He couldn't respond with anything more than a mere chuckle, tears now streaming down his cheeks. You bit your lip, scooting closer to him so you were in his lap, wrapping your arms around his large stature.

"Toshi, I love you." It was no more than a whisper and he placed a warm, loving kiss to your temple, rubbing your back softly as he let out a shaky laugh.

"y/n god, you make it so hard not to cry." He whispered in an unstable tone, resting his head atop yours. "I love you too."

This was how it was, clinging to the other and sharing old tales of your days spent with Ushijima and the boys, tales of times tendou had snuck out of the dorms and got caught by washijou, or when goshiki cut his bangs too short, or how Ushijima brought your parents a half eaten watermelon as a gift.

Those last moments spent with laughs and tears, kisses and hugs, warmth and comfort, those were your best memories. Despite the fate to cross you, Ushijima and everyone else in the world, you felt like you could smile for the first time.

You would smile alot, but it felt different this time. You convinced yourself that it was just because you had been withering away for the past days, but you knew it was because you felt free.

You had no worries in the moment with your lover, you didnt need to think about getting up for work the next day, or how you would afford next months rent. You felt like the largest weight had been lifted off of you, and you could really smile for the first time.

There was a slightly rumble if the ground that had made you and Ushijima go silent. You pulled away from your spot in the crook of his neck to look at him, fear still in his eyes.

"I dont wanna die," he chuckled out, "but im not sad." He drew small shapes into your hips with his thumbs, looking onto your laps instead of your face, and you just stared at him.

His usually stoic face was calmed, relaxed, his jaw unclenched and his eyes soft. You hadnt seen so many emotions from your boyfriend so much, it was almost scary. But he looked so gorgeous, he was your world.

"Wakatoshi Ushijima, you know," your placed your hands on both sides of his face, "it doesnt matter what happens to this world, because," you placed a passionate kiss to his lips, the tears finally falling from your eyes, "you, you're my world Toshi."

He let out a noise that was similar to a choke, tears rolling down the apple of his cheeks as he placed his forehead to yours, letting his shoulders shake with hard sobs. Loud crashes, screams and car alarms had let you know it was coming, the end of the world.

The last thing you saw was Ushijima, smiling snd crying, mouthing out one last 'I love you'.

Why does the end of the world look so beautiful?

© tomura-heart — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or copying is not allowed. do not translate. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.

[bellamyblakru]

omg ok so idk how many im allowed to ask for the otp ask game thingy BUT if this is too many just do the ones you really want:D (SORRY I GOT EXCITED)

merthur & 2, 6, 7, 13, 24, 29, 30

oh my god roya i went ham on these. i apologize in advance 💀i got so excited too siskksksksks thank you so much for this holy shit, it was literally so much fun

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

omg i think it depends on who got the drama arc that day ajclajfefkafn i would say normally merlin is 100% the big spoon LOL he just has that “need to comfort and protect” vibe, you feel?

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

oooo so interesting, like physical features? id wanna say merlin loves arthur’s hands the most. like he can just sit for hours watching arthur signing documents and writing speeches and all that shit, plus arthur is definitely a hands on man (since he was touched starved to the max) so merlin always craves those little moments where arthur’s hand lingers on his own, or on his neck, or on his chest. the first thing to come to my mind for arthur is that he absolutely adores merlin’s hair. like when he forgets to cut it short and it gets a bit longer and more curly, the wildness just fits merlin so nicely. his hair in the morning is just so messy and perfect and the way the light hits it makes merlin feel more ethereal--its in those moments, right before merlin wakes up, where arthur just stares at this magical king and wonders what god he should thank for giving him someone so lovely.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

OH GOD. dude, the first thing that changes for merlin is what he thinks about as he helps arthur dress for the day. now, he notices the subtle way arthur leans into his touch, the way arthur smiles softly when merlin fixes his collar, the way his own hands tremble, ever-so slightly, as he smooths out arthur’s shirt. ARTHUR. man, the first thing that changes for arthur when he realized he has feelings for merlin is EVERYTHING. my mans tries to not change a fucking thing about the routine or day--but he tries way too fucking hard and its painfully noticeable that something is happening in his mind. merlin notices it, of course, but thinks arthur is stressed about something kingly. you know who tells him to fucking stop? LANCELOT. that man walks up to arthur, drags his ass aside, and gently, but not weakly, says “you suck at this” and helps him understand that merlin is already head over heels for him wjsjjsksksks

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

arthur. 100%. touch is his thingggg™️. merlin has probably ached to hold arthur’s hand for years, but arthur does it first. i imagine two different scenarios: one, its fucking chaos out. there is some bad guy or some shit they are fighting, the knights are scattered, they are bloodied, bruised, and tired, but merlin hasn’t left his side for even a moment. the warlock’s back is still straight, his chin is still high, the defiance burning so brightly in those eyes that arthur cant help but reach over and grab the man’s hand to try to gain some of his resilience and passion and strength. two, it could be the laziest fucking day of the year. the knights of the roundtable are laughing and eating in arthur’s chambers, lance and gwen are making doe-eyes at one another, gwaine and percy are stealin little glances, and arthur is just so fucking content. like he looks around to smiles, and laughing, and happiness, and he turns his head to see merlin staring at him in concern. and he cant help it, man, he just reaches over and squeezes his hand. merlin’s eyes widen, but a soft smile grows there. arthur just doesn’t let go though, so merlin leans over and puts his head on arthur’s shoulder being completely beautifully content together.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

BRUH THIS SCREAMS MERLIN. I'M LAUGHING SO MUCH FKHNNSKNR. dudee. imagine it?? they are seated at a Very Important Dinner™️ with some Very Important People™️ and arthur is just about to make a toast and BAM-merlin whispers something outrageously fucking dirty. ARTHUR SPLUTTERS AND TURNS SO FUCKING RED ASDFGHHJK. merlin just smiles (his most regal smile) and turns away to talk to Very Important Someone™️ and arthur has to wait a few more minutes to compose himself and vows to get back at merlin later (he never does because merlin always beats him to it). OR LIKE DURING AUDIENCES? like this fucking farmer is complaining that he thinks his neighbor stole his chicken named Clucky and merlin just walks up to arthur and Says Something™️ that makes arthur cough...violently...and merlin turns around, solves the farmer’s problem, and goes back to his spot like nothing happened. arthur stares at him for much longer than he is suppose to before leon steps in and taps arthur’s shoulder to continue LOLLL

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

oh lord,,, where to start? im not sure if this is a common headcanon or not, but that merlin actually could have saved arthur. he is the most powerful warlock to ever fucking exist, and he couldn’t save him? i call bullshit. i think he had the power to, and i think deep down he realizes that when its too late (like arthur’s eyes fluttering shut too late) and thats what breaks him. what haunts him for literal centuries. the simple fact that he could have saved him. i think he didn’t know enough about his magic yet, or that he refused to acknowledge that kind of power simmering under his skin, or that he just didn’t believe enough in himself because of how many times shit had hit the fan when merlin did magic near arthur. so..yeah…yikes

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

LOL im full of angsty headcanons so hmmm. during arthur’s reign, they used to stay up late at night in arthur’s chambers. it didn’t matter what they did: whether it was arthur teaching merlin how to play chess as merlin complained the entire time that strategy at midnight was a cruel and unnecessary punishment, or arthur helped merlin clean his chambers as merlin hummed an old song his mother used to sing to him before bed, or just the two of them sitting in front of the fireplace with two glasses of wine talking about everything and nothing all at once. but once the quiet hits, its never, ever, uncomfortable. they can sit in silence for hours and never be bored or scared to break it. they just sit there, side by side, leaning on one another like they do in everything in life.

thank you again😭💖💖 akakakakak i might have gotten too excited?😂

otp ask game

[dailyzzy]

What If- and just hear me out for a second- redbone bojack horseman au.

Deku is Sarah Lynn (his job and giving up on his dreams really fucked him up, he mostly uses drugs as a way to cope with everything happening around him. Bakugou was the one that introduced him to alcohol for the first time when they were kids, bragging to his "friends" about drinking his mothers vodka once and calling Deku a cry baby for not wanting to try, Izuku drank, mostly out of anxiety and ended up getting drunk. Bakugou and his friend dragged him home and said that they found Izuku like that (inko lectured him a lot about It but Izuku couldnt bring himself to snitch) which was the start of his addiction.)

The story could pass through Bakugous pov mostly, still being a murder mistery, but with oh so much more angst. Kirishima gives me Todd vibes, so unfortunely for him Bakugou also isnt that good to him. He always assumes kirishima os an extra and didnt bother learning about his life until It was of interest to him. I think that the betrayal that happened in bojack horseman on the first season wouldve happened back in UA, Kirishima told bakugou about his insecurities (mostly with his quirk) and about this wonderful internship opportunity, Bakugou got scared of kiri leaving him once he made a name for himself and made him fail/miss the Interview (idk If he would Just make fake accounts and Bully kiri online so his anxiety was so high he wouldnt be able to do good or If he would just mix up kiris papers in order for him to miss the Interview).

Aizawa is a mixture of princess Carolyn and basicallly every single person on the show who noticed patterns and behaviors, but didnt do antything, hes an enabler. I woudl say later, when he realizes just how bad his ignorance affected those around him he would probably regret It, but for now him caring for Eri and the fact his students are already adults is the excuse he uses to not confront people. Thats not to say he isnt a good father, just like princess Carolyn he had a hard time adjusting parenting with work (he secretly has always wanted a child of his own, but never thought he would get the chance to have one) and pretends to give his child the childhood he never had.

Bakugou isnt the only 'villain' tho, i think It would be unfair to base the whole au around him or anyone in particular (many actions of bojack and character arcs will be displayed in different characters) Bakugou is a mixture of herb kazzaz and a side of bojack horseman. Shinsou was a dear friend to him (Hitoshi noticed the way he treated people, but never really cared) back in the first year of UA, they were rival-friends sort of deal. Shinsou introduced him to drugs, and a similar situation that happened with kid deku happened with teenage Bakugou, katsuki got caught and basically begged Shinsou to give out his dealers contact, otherwise Bakugou would be assumed to have been dealing and selling the drugs himself (seeing the large amount found back at his dorm room) hitoshi said he would do it, but Aizawa put quite a pression on him to deny anything, and thats exactly what he did. Bakugou was almost expelled and got a big red mark on his curriculum. He did save Kota on the Summer camp, and give quite some good advice.

The Bojack drug would probably be called Dynamight.

Shinsou is basicallly another side of bojack and Diane together (severely depressed, basically) , he has addiction problems (many times pushed people to get involved too) and has a deep self hatred, but still tries his best to be a better person. The problem is, hes still selfish and cynical, mainly the person at fault for Todoroki having had to go through rehab on his early 20's and many times inviting Izuku to do drugs together even though he knows just how bad dekus addiction is. He loves and cares for Eri like a little sister, and genuely tries to help Todoroki, but unfortunely good intentions dont mean good actions. Not to say he doesn't do anything selfless or good, he never pressioned Todoroki after rehab (neither Izuku after he became sober (Bakugou would be the one to lead him to his death)) and gives pretty good advice when hes sober. His biggest dream is to do sonething with his life, to make the world a little bit better. Hes quite intellegent and informed in todays affairs (him and Izuku have plenty of good convos and Todoroki isnt an ignorant fool mainly because of him). He worked on a case that investigated the hero comission and risked his entire career to try to expose a bit of Injustice, even If he wasnt sucefull he was still willing to risk It all for his morals.

Holyhock's arc could go through Todorokis eyes, he never quite forgave his mom and she was much more cruel than in canon, Rei would start showing signs of dementia very early in her life. Endeavor cheated quite a lot and had a illegitamet (idk how to spell) child with a side kick. He became sober ever since rehab and lived quite a good life, even with some shitty actions and shitty people around him. Things started to go down after his mom showed up and only worsened once she had to live with him.

(im kinda tired now so ill write more later.)

Wow, you really thought this through 😳 I'm impressed

And although Redbone characters are not as deep as Bojack's (or maybe not as realistic as Bojack's), some behavioral patterns can be found between these two anyway.

You have good ideas, if you ever write a fic or smth, hmu 👀

[serowotonin]

˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol​  for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no 

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO” 

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing 

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again. 

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize 

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology?? 

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `

[fairycosmos]

lmao im actually so desperate to die im considering swallowing two peach pits just to see if i will choke to death because nothing else ive tried has worked so far . you know what my life doesnt fucking matter ill do it. with my luck it wont work i feel im being punished and thats why i cant die. ill do it. if i dont get back to you something happened but i doubt it. im tired like you said i deserve peace. we do. bye maybe i hope this works this is pathetic but im desperate to die

hey, i'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. it seems like you're totally overwhelmed right now and i completely understand how debilitating that can be. i know there's nothing i can do or say that will really change how awful it feels, and you're probably not in the headspace to read all this. but if you ever want to come back to it, it'll be here. maybe you could try some of these grounding exercises, here / here and here beforehand to get you in a place where you can focus a little. it's alright, there's no rush or pressure. i just wanted to say first of all that this is not pathetic in the slightest. sometimes the world gets on top of you and you go througn so much trauma and hurt that it really does feel like giving up is the only option. people can only take so much, and i get it. that's the trick of the suicidal brain though, i think. it uses life's suffering and your own past experiences to convince you that it is always going to be this way. to romanticize death and make it into something it isn't in your head. it is actually very hard to die, as i'm sure you know. and it's not the peaceful option or escape you're looking for, either. and the most paramount thing i want to say is that your life 100% does matter. this was never up for debate. you were born with an inherent worth and it hasn't went away just because you can no longer see it. you honestly can't fathom how you've impacted peoples lives, directly and indirectly, and even just the world itself. you don't have to be anybody but who you are, i promise, the whole point is just having the human experience you're having. you're fulfilling your purpose by existing, no matter how hard it is at times. i think it's a good sign that you reached out to me, i honestly think it shows that you have a lot of self awareness regarding what's going on and that you're truly capable of asking for the help that you need. you're not in a place right now where you can trust your thoughts and feelings, so it's good to seek an objective perspective from somebody else. this state of mind is so transient, it's so intense that it's not built to last. i'm not trying to downplay how unbelievably hard to live with, of course, but it can be freeing to acknowledge that this is not all there is, no matter how difficult it is to endure currently. you deserve to be here and to exist in a way that heals you, no matter what your mind is telling you. there can be a variety of underlying causes for suicidal feelings, and obviously they're very serious issues that need real medical attention in order to begin to overcome. but with that and with time, it is totally possible to learn to live a full live along side all you've been through. even though right now i'm sure that's the lastthhing on earth you want to do.

are you currently working with a mental health professional of any sort? your doctor, a therapist, a support group, even a hotline? if not, i would really urge you to get in touch with them as soon as possible. and if you already are, let them know where your thoughts are at lately so they can focus on upping your level of care. if you're worried about money, there are cost-effective choics available, like finding a therapist who offers a sliding scale price, or looking into mental health resources within your community. i know your brain is probably screaming at you to do the opposite, but i promise any baby step in the right direction is going to pay off. the prospect of reaching out and being honest is a daunting one, and i'm only bringing it up as something to consider at the moment (or when you feel able to) so please don't write it off all together. you don't have to do anything right now, just know you have options. you honestly do. and talking to someone really is not as bad as your brain is probably building it up to be. just like with physical illness, mental illness can be confronted and treated. it's all about learning how to manage your unique mind, and even if it takes a lifetime, it is so possible to lessen the frequency of episodes like this. or to become more prepared for them so they feel less erratic when they do occur. discussing about what you've been through, pinpointing root causes of your suicidal thoughts, learnng how to implement healthy coping mechanisms into your daily routine, building a support system, finding the medication for you if needed - all of this is going to make a tangible difference. it is not going to fix everything, obviously, but it is going to lighten the weight and broaden your perspective on yourself and on living. you deserve to be supported without judgement and with genuine care, you deserve to be listened to. there are a lot of people, professionals or otherwise, even just strangers like me, who are willing to filling that role for you.

idk how it is for you and i won't pretend to, but sometimes suicidal people don't want to lose their lives, they just want to stop living the way they are. with so much chaos and unresolved pain and exhaustion. you don't have to hurt yourself in order to get there. i know when you're in this mindset, any even slightly positive piece of advice just feels impossible to believe. but even if you can't seriously take it on board at the moment, i hope when you're in a more grounded place, you can at least consider as an alternative to absolute hopelessness. you may as well, because you are alive and that is not always going to feel like a curse. it is so hard to believe it, i get that, but it is a fundamental truth. you are in an extremely difficult moment but that is not your whole existence. the future is ever changing, and you've already made it through the past, so the only thing that really matters is this moment. focus on what you need, not what you want, but what you need to do right now to truly self - prioritize. even if that feels like the last thing on earth you want do. if self destruction and self harm was gonna make you feel better, it would've by now. welcome the idea of trying something new, maybe just the notion of attempting to guide yourself through this with a bit of self-compassion. please, if you feel like you are an immediate danger to yourself, please exercise any sense of self preservation/ survival instinct and call the authorities, a hotline or a friend/family member right away. no matter what bullshit your brain is telling you, no matter how heavy your heart is right now . everything is always always always changing and things are going to change beyond recognition, it's the one thing you can count on. you deserve to stick around to see it all, and once you've made the decision to do so, you won't feel so stuck and conflicted anymore. i'm going to leave some links that i think might help a little in this moment, but like i said, please call someone if you feel you can't be alone right now. i'm rooting for u a lot and i really hope you are able do the right thing for yourself. if it's all too hard, focus on getting through the next hour. if that's too much, the next minute. and if that's too much, the next second. break it down into what you can handle and let yourself live. and then just go from there. sending you all my love.

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