#idk if vegetarianism was a Thing in rome but lets pretend it was

[drowning-in-webnovel-chapters]

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 13 (SPOILERS)

"My life goal is realized" What, working minimum-wage in a fast food chain? You think Lityerses might not recognize them if they just pretend they work there?

"Unless, of course, they were searching for intruders, specifically us..." You didn't get that already? Always assume there are people looking for you if your previous dream told you there are people looking for you.

"manipulating pins in a lock wouldn't be too different than weaving threads in a loom." Can anyone who has done both confirm? This sounds like iffy logic. "The two things sounded very different to me" What did I say? Exactly. "but I couldn't argue with the results." Also true.

"You'll know when I get my magic back, because you'll find yourself being tossed across Indianapolis." Can she do that? With her wind spirits? Also, I wondered earlier whether her invisible air servants got left behind on Ogygia, but the way they've talked about them since then suggests that they are not her servants, but actually regular air spirits she can command, maybe like Mellie. This is relieving. Maybe those nymphs can leave the island now if they want to. Or maybe as nymphs they're more comfortable with staying in one place like dryads, idk.

"Carnivorous horse mix?" Oh no no no, not the man-eating poop horses from the Triple G Ranch. "Combat ostrich cubes?" Ayo cover art "Surely they're not grinding animals into food?" Is she vegetarian? Or maybe it's just the grinding-into-processed-meat part that disturbs her?

"I was overwhelmed by a vision" Oh no not now not again this is a Bad Time-- Well, at least they're deadbolted in.

"nothing about the tent suggested the harsh life of the Roman legion." Did Roman emperors lead the charge into battle or did they stay out of the fighting? I'm willing to bet that for Rome it depended on the emperor, but which was most common?

"a solid gold cornucopia." What fucking river god did they harass for this one?

"And you are perfect, I thought" Physically, maybe, but I'm pretty sure he likes to torture innocent souls as a pastime. I only simp for him in jest, but Apollo seems serious about it. With this awful of a precedent for his flings, one of his kids at camp must be the child of, like, a serial mass murderer or something. (Is that why Will is a year-rounder? We don't know what Naomi Solace does in her spare time...)

"Ask for a furlough?" FURLOUGH (n.): suspension or discharge of a worker or workers on account of economic conditions or shortage of work, especially when temporary

"He is so virtuous" Really? The guy waging war on every vaguely threatening piece of land around them for the entirety of his reign is virtuous?

"Who names their child Bruttia?" Poor girl. "Ostriches" Oh, the cover art. Here come the ostriches! <3 <3 <3

"But what did I care? I was a god." Oh just you wait, Apollo. The roles are going to be reversed.

"Look at the prices." It's a fast food place. How bad could it be? "$15,000 per serving." UM. ?????????? "isn't that a bit pricey for a meal?" YUHUH. "I was adventuring with someone as clueless as I was." Wait, you mean to tell me that he was understating it when he said "a bit pricey"? He genuinely doesn't know how expensive this is? Whatever, they already broke into the zoo and broke into the café. They shouldn't have a problem with stealing at this point.

"Percy Jackson could drive a car." Ah yes, Perseus Jackson's primary and most useful demigod skill: driving.

"a golden metallic coating." Ah, that explains it. The griffins have the appetite of Arion.

"'Let me use my super vision to look through this wall and check,' she said. 'Oh, wait.'" She sounds exactly like Leo when she says that.

[wishingfornever]

2/22/2018 – No Contact:  Siesta Thursday

I woke up at 8… fell asleep.  Woke up at 11.  Fell asleep.  Woke up at 1.  Staying awake.

Several dreams.  The first dream was about my boss’s boss’s boss. Supposed to be a woman.  Dreamed I was speaking with her but I can’t remember her face.  Makes sense, since I have yet to see her face. Second dream… Esther.  This one was different than recent Esther dreams.  We were sitting in a room with other people, I was bored and she asked me if I wanted to read an article for couples who broke up and are trying to get back together again.  I considered not going, but I reminded myself that I’d do everything I can to keep her. So, I said, “Actually, I would like that very much.”

Finally, the last dream I had, I was reminded that Esther and I no longer speak to each other and this saddened me.  I fell asleep and I was crying, speaking to these people who weren’t really there.  The room was dark.  It was night.  There was this woman there as well as several others.  The woman wasn’t Ariel, but I had told this woman I loved her but I could never love her as much as I love Ariel.  Then while I was crying, I rolled over to see the door open.  I was alone at this time and I thought it was this same woman and I told her I’m sorry when she approached me.  She got close enough and I tried to kiss her but she pulled back.  As did I.

I realized it was my cousin, and apparently she was fired from her job and she was massively depressed, though she wanted to be fired.  I reassured her, she left my room, I looked outside to this alleyway (that isn’t there in rl, it’s just these apartments out my window) and I saw a lot of rain.  A lot of Mexicans too, like we were actually in Mexico and not a part of Houston that is heavily populated by Mexicans… which wouldn’t be too inaccurate to say, tbh.

Regardless, something told me they were Mexicans.  I saw a couple walk down the street and I was jealous.  Then I saw a man hit another man on the back of his head with a club.  Then the police came.  It was a mess.

Perhaps that dream was a reminder that I worry too much about myself when the world outside my window has… well, the burdens of the world.  Criminals, cops, and lovers.  Idk.

Anyways, the Boss’s Boss’s Boss.  Triple B.  She was supposed to inspect the store today.  Yesterday, I closed.  I did a poor job but I discovered… energy shots make my nose itch.  It makes sense but I don’t have concrete evidence just yet.  It’s very peculiar. Might have something to do with stress?  Idk.

Customers are nice to me at work.  I don’t know how to react.  Several days ago, a woman tried to give me a bag of potato chips and a liter of pepsi.  I told her I don’t drink soda and don’t like chips.  She was nice and I felt horrible for saying no.  Yesterday, I had a can of pringles and a two liter of root beer.  I feel like an ass.

Of course, I hated the pringles and the two liter was to fix my water bottle which had become so dented I needed some carbonation to undent it.  Worked great, btw.

I was given a box of chinese food from a coworker.  Walked home with that.  I have to say, it wasn’t my finest moment.  Reason being is that there was chicken in it.  I felt bad for that.  I’m trying to be as vegetarian as possible.  :/

Regardless, I ate everything.  So consider 21st of February the last day I had meat.  I’ll count until the next day I inevitably cheat. We’ll see.

My manager, the one I closed with last night…  I legitimately think he hates Mexicans.  Dan is his name.  He’s the one who referred to customers as “Wetbacks” and on Monday (several days ago) said kid’s in the store were running loose because their parents were irresponsibly drinking and having a party a little bit down the way. I said “Oh, it’s Monday.  Mondays are the worst days for partying.”

“Mexicans don’t care,” he said.  “They party every night if they could and we have to deal with their kids because of it.”

The last comment, though perhaps not blatantly racist, didn’t sit right with me.  The way he said Mexican… that was an issue I had.

Ironically, I had mentioned to the store manager (Jack) of Dan’s “Wetbacks” comment and how it caught me SO off guard.  This wasn’t me reporting, I was just gabbing.  That day when he said “Mexicans don’t care,” I found out he told Berenice, a shift manager like Dan.  I asked him not to tell Dan about it.  I don’t want to get involved in Workplace drama and if he knew I was gossiping, there would be a major conflict of interests and working would be… difficult.

I hate working with Dan.  He smells, his breath smells, and he’s kind of a hassle.  Bad days are made worse with him.  I don’t have a lot of faith when working with him.  He complains A LOT.  Like so much. One of those.  I try to be polite, but god damn.  Like, he swears up and down that the store would fall apart without him (not those exact words, mind you).

Admittedly, he’s the only one who can do some chores because he is the only manager with a car.  But, still.  Some of the places he claims to have organized are kind of… crap.

I wonder if I’m just too extensive in my job or if everyone has phoned it in.  I swear I’ve phoned it in but I’ve been wrong before.

So, remember how I wanted to message Marjane Satrapi?  Ask her for advice?  Not feeling so confident, so I won’t be doing that.  I looked, and it’s probably a fan page I saw.  I don’t have any chance in hell to get guidance from her.

It’s a shame. When she stopped identifying as Iranian, I could relate.  When growing up, I pretended I wasn’t Mexican.  My dad sort of made it out to be bad, so I thought so too.  Now, I don’t want to identify as American but I don’t have anything else to be.

Dennis used to give me a hard time calling me, “Half-Breed.”  A lot.  It hurt more than I’d let on, but I ignored it.  Whenever I mocked him, he was quick to say, “omg, wtf dude?!” but I never pointed it out.  I guess I would have when dealing with Esther, but I was too emotional then.  Might still be now.

He also called me “Mama’s Boy” a lot with Adriana which wasn’t as bad as half-breed because it was always my dad I had to call or whatever.  I knew otherwise but half-breed… eh.

Whatever.  Not trying to shit on Dennis for busting my balls.  We all did it.  Shane was the worst at it, though.  Like, laughably bad.  Fun times.

Right, Marjane.

I was hoping to get into a discussion with a fellow Marxist and discuss life… how to approach my dad, tell her about Esther, tell her my troubles, just… I need someone I feel I can relate with.  Someone wiser than me.  I won’t get that with my parents because my dad is part of the problem and my mom is too invested in me.

I really feel alone.

Tomorrow, I’ll message Esther.  I’ll call my dad, too.  Esther I will try to make quick.  I’ll ask her if she’ll want me to change her name or whatever.  Try to keep her identities secret.  If not, I’ll keep the names how they are because… well, I’m lazy and I really don’t feel like changing ALL the names on a whim.  But if she wants me to, I’ll listen.  If she blocks me without saying a word, then I’ll assume she doesn’t mind.

Whatever the case, I’ll make it quick.  Let her know I still care… perhaps she’ll see that and open up dialogue again.  Won’t amount to much, but if there is a chance then this is the way to get there.

Of course, the worst case scenario is she blocks me immediately.  The most likely scenario is that she messages me to tell me “Change my name” and then blocks me without saying anything else.  The second to best case scenario is that she tells me to change her name, tells me she wishes me well, and then blocks me.

I can almost guarantee dialogue beyond that.  Life hasn’t been kind to me, but… idk.  Maybe sometime this year, things will get better.

Strangely enough, despite what’s happened since January, I feel like this may be my year.  I mean, it started poorly… and continues to be mediocre, but there are a lot of things that are being released that appeals to my interests.  Like, Age of Empires Definitive Edition is released (not for steam yet).  Kingdom Come Deliverance (which has a bad title) is supposed to be pretty neat, if you can get past his HUGE forehead.  Rome II Total War has more DLC being released for it for SOME FUCKING REASON.  Doki Doki Literature club is a graphic novel about poetry… poetry.

I can’t play of these things, yet.  Like, AoE isn’t for steam or Windows 8, KDC is too graphically intensive, Rome II DLC hasn’t been released yet or I refuse to get at full price, and DDLC is free to download but I won’t be downloading it yet.  Why not?  I don’t know, I figure I’d wait a little while to play through it myself but it’s already been spoiled for me so no rush.

Adela didn’t go to work today.  She was too sick.  Which is great because Max wasn’t in here.  So, I sort of slept in if you say taking a nap at about noon is sleeping at noon.  I have yet to eat and it’s 5. She’s going to barre soon and she’ll leave Max with me.  I think I’ll do some exercise, weigh myself after, have breakfast, then do the dishes.

I look a lot thinner than I used to.  I’ve lost a lot of belly weight.  I also feel stronger than I have in months.  I’ve never felt stronger which is perhaps to say I’ve never been weaker.  I’m ashamed to admit that.  But, I’ll get over it.

Speaking of getting over it, Max is in the room now.  He is something of a pest as of late and has been avoiding me.  He used to be super chill with me but something’s happened.  Now when we’re in the same room, he pesters me until I let him out.  He REALLY doesn’t want to even be in the same level as me.  Like, he waits downstairs when I’m in the room and when I’m downstairs he’ll be upstairs.

Hrm… Perhaps this started when we stopped giving him treats?  I can’t even remember.

He was walking over the keyboard as I was typing.  Unfortunately, his anxiety worsened when discord went “BLEEP” and that scared the crap out of him.  So, that makes him want to walk on the keyboard. And Max has the worst breath (not as bad as Dan’s, though).

Now that I think about it, everyone at work has bad breath.  I hate it. But I’m reminded of myself because I don’t bathe a lot when I’m depressed and I was depressed for a very long time.  :/

Eh. I’m bathing more than I ever had and I’ve never been so… emotionally unstable.  Things change, I guess.

About to walk max.  Tried to brush my hair.  Looked in the mirror. Smiled.

I look like the joker if he were chunkier and more Mexican.  The comic book joker.  The joker there is super skinny, but I have his angry looking smile.  Erm…

The reason for this is because I shaved yesterday.  No more beard.  It’ll grow back.  But… I probably shouldn’t shave.

That said, I now way 241.5 pounds.  What is that in Metric?  Not sure. The US is dumb.  But that’s pretty light.  Last time I measured myself, I weighed a bit more.  I’m still losing weight, but at a slow rate.