#idk if this is remotely relatable or if I'm just insane

[purpurussy]

One thing that was so interesting about tit was when they would play an old clip of theirs, and then stand either side of the screen and watch it with us. It was so bizarre like damn I'm literally watching Dan and Phil with Dan and Phil ??? I kept looking between the video on the screen and them irl and trying to get my brain to comprehend that it's the exact same people if that makes any sense at all

[idkanametoputhere]

I tired, sleepy and working on a request so instead have a list of songs I'd play to freak out the twst characters or get them to leave me alone

note that all of this is meant as a joke and I listen to most of the artists/songs mentioned

masterlist<3

I feel like riddle would freak out by anything remotely sexual or anything too loud so I'd blast "HOT DEMON BITCHES NEAR YOU" by CORPSE(or anything by insane clown posse now that i think ab it)

for trey it's hard but I think just something a kid would listen to, like smth his little siblings listen to that he has grown sick of, so something like that fortnite song that goes number one victory royal, yeah fortnite we bouta get down" or however it goes

cater, for him I'd just put something related to all those bottled up feelings he has and he'll be gone faster than you can say "mentally ill". anywhore, I'd just play smth like idk "pity party" by melanie martinez or just any song that talks about loneliness or moving

Ace is very easy. anything slow or sappy. smth like "paris" from the chainsmokers or (surprisingly and embarassingly) "someday" from the disney chanel zombies movie, but like the second time they sing it which is slow and shit

for deuce its the creativity song from DHMIS, no more explanation given

for leona it's something that would keep him from sleeping do smth like "freaks" by timmy trumpet

ruggie is cardi b's "up", solely for the "broke boys don't deserve no pussy" line. man's would be offended

jackkkk is a difficult-ish one but I think he wouldn't like "everywhere I go" by Hollywood undead

for azul it's anything by ashnikko, nicki minaj, scene queen, corpse, cardi b, doja cat, need I explain?

for floyd we need something that would bore him, so I'd play Christmas carols but like the boooooooooring ones

jade is difficult, jade is very difficult. but I think he wouldn't like anything like nightcore or sped up ig. like he wouldn't like any of the high pitches. if nightmare doesn't work it's the Alvin and the chipmunks version of "bad romance"

for kalim we need something sad...anything by Conan gray

jamil on the other hand uhhhh I have a feeling deep in my heart that he wouldn't like songs from musicals, Hamilton specifically, so I'd play "the Reynolds pamphlet"

vil is easy, "mr boombastic" by idk who OR "mrs potato head" by melanie martinez

rook is a trick question, he won't leave, please help he has been staring at me through my tablet-

epel-> any old gacha life songs-

idia uhhh any comedic song from Wilbur soot ORRRRR that "heyyy brother, there's an endless world to rediscover" song cause ✨️trauma✨️

for ortho it's anything with cursing, idia has programmed him to leave

malleus would need something like "washing machine heart" by mitski or any song that has the meaning hidden. his two braincells cannot cooperate to figure it out

you can't get rid of lilia with music, physically impossible

sebek: idk man smth about anarchy or overthrowing the royals or smth like that

silver: is asleep

grimm: hello kitty theme song

Crowley: ANYTHING by Eminem, ANYTHING

crewel: anything slightly off tune so anything by the front bottoms

trein: "3 musketeers" by uhhhh idk

sam: idk man I'm tired and out of ideas

MUUUUUUUM MID IS SHITPOSTING AGAIN

[altocat]

Goood morning! Saw your reblog about the comments, and, well, idk, the mood just seemed right- :3c

OMG YOUR TAKE AND DEPICTION OF SEPHIROTH IS PHENOMENAL 😭 It really, really, is, and something so incredibly unique from anything anyone else can do. You do the most important thing that can be done to a villain- humanize him ;-; And every element of that is tapped into: his insecurities, his interests, his wants, and his awareness of how little/how much control he has of his life. You explore the genuine extent of ShinRa’s hold on him, and all the ways that his perceptions are warped bc of it- and yet at the same time, his personality was crafted to be so rich that ShinRa couldn’t gouge it out completely. He’s his own person with his own longings. A human being. And in the core of all that humanity, is fear.

You make everything have a purpose, make everything in his life affect him in one way or another, thread by thread, ever since Gast. You portray his unwavering attachment to Genesis & Angeal in such a beautiful light ;-; Their entire friendship is so incredibly natural, and unlike the GAME, you show us how much they care for each other. How much they love each other- and most importantly, unlike the GAME, how much Angeal & Genesis cared about Seph. They take him, they break his walls, and they feed him pasta (his favorite!!!! Omg I still melt at the entire scene <33). But then, because the foundation is so strong, because Seph finally feels safe… his world really is shattered when the rug is pulled. And he’s never really fixed. He’s gradually breaking, and he’s tired- but he still has ShinRa. And he pushes on. And he wears himself out more. It is devastating and natural, and we’re sitting here watching this car crash in slow motion and being absolutely helpless about it ;-; You make heartbreak unbearable, and it’s beautiful pain ;-; ;-;

By the time he reaches Nibelheim, and Genesis drives in the knife, his collapse makes sense. We saw him beaten again and again and again, and how he struggled to stay afloat, and how he couldn’t tread anymore. He just… wanted to be wanted- and Jenova was there ;-; And it is clear that she was there from the very, very beginning; the hallucinations woven in are terrifying, and real, and accentuates how Sephiroth never really had control- he was an experiment and the consequences of that are never forgotten ;-; The entire library scene was… omg… I don’t even know- just masterful ;-; The culmination of everything- and it really is insanity. It feels like insanity. The perfect, horrifying blend of Jenova locking her chains and Sephiroth’s own emotions making implode ;-; His interactions with mommy dearest are chilling, terrifying, so twisted- monstrous. The threads have woven themselves into something unrecognizable. A villain. The Sephiroth from FF7. And in the end, Sephiroth finds peace plunging to his death, because he would rather be that ;-; The fic is amazing- beyond amazing- and I’m so, so, so glad it was written <333 There is SO much heart and love for Sephiroth poured into it, and it shows, and it is powerful. I will always cherish it as one of my favorite remotely Sephiroth-related things out there. TY for writing it <333

Phew. Have an awesome day!

This is the greatest thing I could have woken up to.

Thank you so so so so much hhhhh I love your wholesome SephZack fics as well and I'm always on the lookout for whenever you post. Your chapter comments are typically the highlight of my day every time I update.

Thank youuuuu

[mithliya]

you like lucy liu! great bc i have a story i've been dying to share related to her and it's utterly ridiculous if not stupid. (it's a bit long tho, so sorry abt that - but it fuels my pettiness)

so, I used to have this friend (from ages 15 to 20), we met at school and befriended each other through fandom. I'm a lesbian (bi back then) and always liked wlw ships, my friend (straight) really liked mlm ships & considering our common interests we got along p well. (i say liked mlm ships, but it was probably fetishisation: mlm ships were better than any straight or wlw one bc two men; men deserved to be with another man being w a woman would've been a downgrade etc. basically a lot of internalised misogony)

Okay, so around 2016/17 the Sherlock shows "Elementary" and bbc's "Sherlock" were quite popular. My former friend was really into Sherlock (mostly for the ship); I wasn't. I didn't like Cumberbatch, thought he was arrogant and therefore wasn't interested in watching bbc's Sherlock, I was quite into Elementary though. I liked the spin it took on the Sherlock series, I really liked the idea of an equal and female Watson (Lucy Liu in that case) and I loved the idea of Moriarty being a woman and having great chemistry with Lucy Liu.

I don't remember what led up to the conversation, but she sent me screenshots of her convo with smn else where they were talking about me and my refusal to watch bbc's Sherlock. And to this day, the conversation they had pisses me off so much (but also leaves me going like ??? bc it's ridiculous) It originally was in German, but this was the gist of it: my friend seemed to have been complaining to this other girl (I didn't know her) about me not wanting to watch sherlock. The stranger took offense in my dislike for Cumberbatch and said she didn't know what Elementary was. My friend then replied that I hated Cumberbatch and didn't want to watch Sherlock "only" because he starred in it (both messages accompanied by an eye-roll emoji).

The stranger then asked how smn could hate Cumberbatch and said she just googled the show and went "wtf". My friend then replied "It's an ugly female Watson. And I'm into women, I know what I'm talking about."

The stranger then replied that she couldn't stand Lucy Liu and my friend replied with an over the top "thank you honey I love you for this statement" their conversation ended with the stranger saying that she had just done some research and that Elementary was basically blasphemy and my friend agreed saying she saw it on TV once and it made her want to throw the remote at the TV

that's the story, that pisses me off every time I remember it, bc like, a) beauty is subjective, yes. but i don't think lucy liu can in any way be considered ugly and b) my friend had literally found out she was a lesbian like a week ago. "i like women, ik what i'm talking abt" no, u don't?? it doesn't work like that obvs, but still you don't know what you're talking abt c) the stranger going "how can u dislike cumberbatch" and then in the next breath saying she can't stand lucy liu. ?? ? ??? girl. d) the stranger in general. like where did the audacity come from

i think the statement ("ugly female watson") stemmed from internalised misogyny (on friend's part) rather than racism, bc if watson is female then there is no possibility for a gay sherlock/watson ship, but tbh idk. anyways hope you enjoyed this story that pisses me off to no end

oh and pls also note that this friend was supposedly my best friend at the time and in love with me lol

ok first of all i need to hear the story of u dumping this woman as a friend bc that has got to be juicy too. wtf kind of friend is that.... insane. its insane there was a period in time where ppl act like women are crazy for seeing this demon being and not being interested in seeing more of him:

like he needs to go back to whatever planet he came from n leave us Real human beings alone... terrorizing us with his face is immoral.

also i felt the same about lucy liu but i have sth terrible to reveal... my girlfriend also thinks lucy liu is ugly :( she thinks its insane that im attracted to lucy liu. i think she even said lucy liu wouldnt be considered attractive in taiwan or sth. i feel like east asians have very different ideas of beauty bc this is not the first time i said an east asian woman was beautiful and east asians around me were like "wtf no!"

lastly if this is how she treats her best friend that shes in love with then im concerned over how she treats other ppl

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

hey uhhhhhh the weird jittery nagging thing?? totally 1000000% relatable. i feel like it always happens to me when i have some sort of life change??? like all of a sudden i’m more conscious of myself because i’m having to relearn who i am in a new situation???? and then it just spreads into the rest of my existence????? idk if that makes sense (not even sure it makes sense to me) but like…..no yeah i’ve got no clue what the hell it is but it’s very unfun i’m so sorry. i hope it passes soon!!!

YES this is like. all of it like... SDLKFJEKLRJFGLKTE i HATE IT. it's the new job and having to introduce myself to new person after new person and i keep running into who i am and i'm like ?? even tho mostly it's been good but WOW. and the constant nag at the back of my head like can you even do it and don't make mistakes and do people even like me. ugh. and it's the culmination of: moved countries moved back, single, living with my parents again, got a new job, new apartment. big life changes. insanity. fact that i feel even remotely okay most days should surprise me actually. thanks for sharing THANK YOUUU you made me feel so much better

[1d1195]

I’m trying my best to be kind to myself but it’s not looking too good lol but I’m okay though really just so busy that any free time I have I want to sleep lol

We love retail therapy! Did you buy that new bag?? Or those towels?! Or did you treat yourself to something?? But you’re so real for saying that about having nothing to do lol I lowkey feel the same way with how busy life has been lol I do celebrate day of the dead! And no worries, the fact that you even remotely remember anything is always so appreciated! But yeah so this weekend was just focusing on that like building the offrenda(I guess this would be the alter? Idk about the translation lol) and i honestly love building/decorating it! I would not consider myself good at decorating at all but when it comes to the day of the dead I love it! The flowers and the spiritual aspect of it means a lot to me! Plus it’s a bit sweet remembering passed loved ones at least for me! And I found the cutest alebrije that reminded me of my dog that passed a few years ago! Oh and best believe I did my annual watching of Coco! Still bawled my eyes out lol But other than that I did nothing too exciting lol I finally got time to myself so I just catches up on shows lol

Omg thank goodness for basketball bf!!! And if he ends up riding a motorcycle I fear that would truly be the end of me!!! But lowkey it’s kind of pathetic how my mind immediately compared him to my hot professor last year when I saw him in that jacket 😔😭

And it’s probably because of that tbh lol but lowkey I feel like it could relate somewhat to all your Harry’s since they are just so sweet even when they fuck up lol

I think given the vibe and structure of the one shot, I don’t think you glossed over his issues too much! If anything I think it’s gives off a mysterious vibe of what “exactly” did he do and what was the breaking point for him. He obviously had some insecurity issues since even when they were together he didn’t believe he deserved her. So in theory you could have gone into more of his issues in the past, but I think that would have made it longer or more than just a one shot which isn’t really what you wanted. If anything if you do decide a check in on then you could do a flashback of when they broke up or events that led to it.

He was so unhinged for that and in this economy?!(I know it’s imaginary lol) The letters alone I fear would have broken me because it’s such a vulnerable act to even write it then SHOWING IT to the person you wrote about… CRAZY I COULD NEVER! Though I loved that you included it!

Oh I love that certain songs just inspire you!! I totally get what you mean about storytelling in songs, it’s a different vibe and not everyone can achieve such good storytelling!

Thank you for being so kind! I hope my week isn’t too bad but sadly another exam this week😔 anyways I hope that you have a lovely start to the week! Hope this week is a bit smoother too! Also don’t worry about posting, life gets busy so no need to stress about it! Love you lots Sam!-💜

I feel you on that. I love sleep so much. I don't want to read or write at this moment in time. I just want to hibernate and get through all these insane busy things.

I DID buy a new bag. I found towels, not totally in love with them. Did like two bits of Christmas shopping. I got a coffee too. I remember what the offrenda is from Coco! (and also Lizzie McGuire, that might be before your time). I'm sure it looked beautiful and it's so lovely that you and your family remember loved ones. It's such a special holiday I wish I could celebrate it 🥰

It's not pathetic. I love that for you! You can have more than one hot educator in your life 😂

I'm quite sleepy right now, but I'm very grateful to your kindness about Hummingbirds. I'm glad you loved it. I always appreciate your kind feedback and reassurance 💕

I hope your exam goes well and it's smooth sailing from here on out 💕

xoxo

[blackasmyhangryfurrybrokensoul]

I have a problem of getting caught up in my upset feelings and then idk what's up with my stupid dumbass self but i look for more reasons to be upset and it'll feel Very Real and Justified when it really isn't but I can't tell in the moment that it isn't.

And then I come out of the moment hating myself and full of regret, it's like waking up from killing someone while sleepwalking. I just open my eyes to this insane amount of damage i've done, that I can't side with or justify or even remotely agree with, and i'm so confused as to why I acted that way, and so angry at myself because I don't believe any of it is okay.

And I don't know how to stop it.

And I don't know how to explain it.

I just know it's not fair to the people around me who have to keep being told all the minor things they're doing wrong just because of this.

And I want so badly to understand it but I am scared to try because I cannot find myself relating to 20 diff diagnoses. I want answers. I want psychologists and psychiatrists to take me seriously.

And I want a way to have better self control. Self-restriction even.

[rainy-astrology]

thank u sm for replying to my ask about hongjoong, hope u are doing well!

do u think certain members are meant to be together? even tho a lot of ships on groups are obviously put on to draw in fans who might ship them do u think theres any genuine relationships between group members or do they see themselves as being coworkers? again i think woosan and seongjoong are quite interesting but idk if its real or not or if delulus just want it to be real.

do u also think kpop is deliberately aiming for younger generations with its constsnt flood of tiktok related junk that it puts out? altho i find myself being fond of a few members of every other group or maybe i like their songs idrc for the latest trendy tiktok things its just gimmick after gimmicks nd i think kpop is profitting so much off younger groups who are more willingly going to get hooked on such trends to promote their groups. theres barely groups my age to follow literally even gidle have been a let down, is that just the members self sabotaging? lately their songs quality seem to be going downhill to the point where if a group releases noise its not remotely interesting enough or i might listen a few times but i dont feel any sort of vibe from it. oh its another thing theyre doing for tiktok to get hooked on another dance yadayadayada do u have any similar thoughts on why so many songs are just badly done auto tuned as heck and generic lyrics that arent inspiring? kpop couldve had so much going for it just to be like ehhh heres more of the samey groups where all members look dress and sound similar.

idk no ones ever really asked me to date so im like ehh whatever to dating atm if i was supposed to be in relationship someone wouldve asked me by now but they havent so i will take that as a means of being single until the day i die or some shit. also maybe my looks or facial expressions just arent pretty or not expressive (i have that glare that the likes of lee know tends to have, might put someone off from approaching me) or im underskilled in a lot of aspects that some ppl may judge me for as being talentless or behind in life, hbu?

Ofc, no prob, I hope you are doing well yourself.

I think it's a mix of both. Some groups have genuine friendships with each other and some groups are simply coworkers. Both are fine. As long as they are mature about differences and treat each other with basic respect and decency (literally the bare minimum), then I don't see the issue at all. Being an idol is just a job after all. If they are able to form a genuine connection with a member or all of them, then that's great.

Do I think certain members are meant to be together? No. I don't think anyone is meant to be together tbh. The idea of fated partners and soulmates is cute, but I don't think exists. It works best in fiction. But I know some people's bonds and compatibilities are so strong that it can feel like they were fated and that's totally fine. It's sweet. Even my best friend and I joke about us being meant to be and being "married". And yes I do agree that some ships are definitely pushed more to the public to draw more attention. Some ships may be close, some ships may not be, and we'll never 100% know as we are not those people. If you want my own thoughts on WooSan and SeongJoong though, I do think they're actually close, just not in the way some delulus try to say lol. WooSan have a matching tattoo (it would be absolutely insane to have something permanent with a person you're not close to lmao) and SeongJoong have expressed deep care to each other several times. Even though astrology isn't everything, it's interesting how SeongJoong's synastry is so harmonious.

Yes most likely, I think kpop has often been targeted towards younger audiences. Especially now with so many young people debuting. The industry is saturated and very competitive, so maybe that's why a lot of songs lately are a bit generic and uninspiring. Its heavy use of TikTok I'm sure is just a way to promote and gain attention since it's one of the biggest social media platforms rn. I can't speak much for gidle as I don't follow them...I don't think it's self sabotage though, it just sounds like you are not vibing with their music anymore. Sounds like you are losing interest with kpop in general and that's ok.

Why do you want to wait for someone to ask you out? Why don't you pursue someone? Maybe it's you who has to make the move - don't wait for it. But only if you care that much lol. I don't think you have be very pretty and expressive to get a date, but looks can def play a part in attracting someone. You don't have to be the prettiest or the best in general really to get someone though.

I'm aro ace with no interest in pursuing romance, so it isn't a concern of mine at all. I also have the same deal of having an angry face unintentionally at times + also quite expressionless and I don't consider my looks to be traditionally pretty (not calling myself ugly, i do think i'm pretty, just not by society's standards), yet I've still had people crush on me somehow 😅 if it's possible for me then it's possible for you lmao.

[joyfullynervouscollection13]

I simply cannot anymore. I am so tired, and so sore. My back, legs and feet just ache. I am generally uncomfortable, especially for this early in the pregnancy. I FEEL disgusting. My skin is a mess, is is bumpy and dull. The bags under my eyes are huge and dark. My hair needs washed and cut. I can't see to shave, and even shaving my legs is uncomfortable. He isn't physically attracted to me right now, he would never admit it. He's too good. But even after discovering he was watching porn several times aweek, which gave me the courage to tell him about how my sex drive has been insane because of hormones we have had sex once. He is still using porn instead. Which just tells me that it's me he doesn't want. And I can't blame him he loves me, but I'm not exactly remotely attractive right now. But it all made me realize I won't ever have the body he fantasizes about. And if I tell him he will do all kinds of things to make me feel better, but it will all just be fake and over exaggerated. And then on top of the lack of sex, I just feel generally disconnected. From him, from everybody. I feel so fucking alone. I feel like I am just a vessel to bring this baby into the world and that it is all anybody cares about. I feel like if I talk about how I feel I just sound weak and like I'm whining. I mean we did spend 2 years, and thousands of dollars to get here right? I just be grateful and happy. But I am just generally miserable. And he wants to have a shower but i have no friends to invite and it's just embarrassing. Not even my kid wants to be with me right now. She'd rather be with her dad. And idk if it's just that all I do is correct her. Or just that I don't know how to relate. Or that all we do is work on the house. And the house is a mess. Like it's physically dirty from all the work we're doing, on top of being cluttered. I don't think we will ever finish. Every project just opens up 5 more projects. And I'm so overwhelmed with it all. And I'm frustrated because I want to help more but I am so tired and I can't just push through like I typically would. That's what makes it all worse. Is I'm just a mess. I can't remember anything. I don't have the money to make any changes to feel better, or lessen the work load.

[fresh-cut-ass]

Ok not to blog about my life here but my real life friends follow me on my main and i just have to word vomit this out.

Okay. So. I'm literally in a throuple but none of us consider ourselves to be polyamorous.

polyamory to me just has connotations of an open relationship or dating lots of people. Whereas we're just like... Monogamous... But it's three people.. does that make any sense?

Idk. I guess im just wondering if other people in throuples can relate or am i insane. I definitely feel like... Very uncomfortable with the label of polyamorous and i dont feel like it fits me or the situation I'm in. But i feel a little silly bc... Words have meanings and by definition im taking part in a not-completely-monogamous relationship. Its just... Polyamory feels like it has connotations and idk if im really comfortable with that, like, social aspect of it? How others would perceive me if they knew about that kind of stuff. Like my friends know but like... If people outside of my close trusted friends knew about it.

Im already a lesbian. My relationships are already "abnormal" and "deviant" to people. But, like, my life just feels so normal to me. I don't feel like im doing anything non-normative. I dont feel like im going against the grain. I just feel like polyamory as an identity is incredibly stigmatised and i just kinda want a break from judgement.

But then i feel an obligation and its like... You clearly have some internalised prejudice about this stuff, but i don't think I'm remotely in a place in my life where i can even begin to unpack all of that. So.

I guess im just looking for like. Advice idk. I dont even really know what I'm saying anymore

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #124

Do you like pineapple on pizza? To be entirely fair, I don't think I've tried it, but considering I'm generally not a fan of sweet and savory combos, I'm doubtful I would enjoy it.

Do you like milk? I do, but only legitimate, mammalian milk. No oat, soy, etc. stuff; trust me, I've tried it because the dairy industry is actually fucking horrible and rooted in awful abuse & I want NOTHING to do with it, but I just don't like non-dairy alternatives, like in the way that I have to aggressively fight spewing it out - which I don't always succeed at. I just hate it. I am so, so sensitive to tastes I dislike.

Do you like syrup or powdered sugar on your french toast? Uh I guess a bit of both is ideal, but I could see me going for one or the other depending on my mood.

Do you put jelly or butter on your toast? I honestly don't really eat toast. But if I DO have it for whatever reason, I'm gonna want grape jam on it.

Do you like baking? Never done it. I really should learn, though... I just need to learn cooking in general.

What are you grandparents' names? Right now I only remember my mom's parents' tbh, which were Cecelia and William.

If any, how old are your siblings? Ashley is 29, Nicole JUST turned 25, Misty is 35, Katie is 39, and Bobby is... oh, he doesn't have his birth year on FB, so idk lmao, but younger than Katie. Full disclosure I looked up Misty's and Katie's too bc I'm awful and don't remember my half-siblings' birthdays/ages like a literal asshole <333333

What color is your dad's hair? So he was born blonde IF I remember his childhood pictures correctly, but it became totally black for the majority of his life. It's pretty much entirely gray by now, but you can see the hue kinda peppers in lightness in a sorta way where at least to me, you can tell his hair is supposed to be black, he's just old.

How old was your mom when she had you? FUCK my mom doesn't have her birth year on FB either, but I THINK it was 1961, so if that is the case she would've been 34. It's somewhere around there.

Do you live with any of your family members currently? Just my mom.

What is your favorite cousins name? I don't have a close relationship with any of my cousins, honestly.

Who are you closest to in your family? My mom.

How long have you and your partner been together? It's been around a year and a half now.

Do you live together? Not currently, but I'm aware that when he has his own place again, he wants me to come with him. His mom is in a stable enough place and has been for a long enough time where he's comfortable leaving her with the house, but because of just how fucking CLINICALLY INSANE the housing market is right now, he just hasn't found a decent place that's priced even remotely reasonably. It's just financially intelligent to stay where he is until the market gets better or an incredible deal falls into his lap.

What is the first movie you watched together? As a couple? Technically, I think it'd be Coraline, which I know we watched once at my place the first time we tried dating in '17. Oh wait... or it mighta been the remake of It, which we watched in theaters.

How old are they? He's 29 and convinced he's basically on this deathbed age-wise lmao sir your life has JUST started

What are some things you enjoy doing? Primarily computer-related stuff, like watching videos or listening to music, socials activities, RPing, editing various things, playing WoW, doing surveys... but I also like to take photographs, read, draw, play video games (these days primarily with others), and I would absolutely adore going on nature walks and things of the like if I was in better shape (one day!!), and it wasn't hot. I also love learning about and watching animals.

What is your favorite color? Pastel pink is #1, followed by... many other pink shades, haha, like coral, rose gold, neon, fuchsia, etc. etc. I also like deep, regal reddish-purple colors, like maroon and burgundy, and lighter shades of purple, like lilac, orchid, and such.

What state are you from? North Carolina.

Have you ever adopted an animal? I'm assuming you don't mean truly "purchase" from a breeder or something, in which case, yes.

Have you ever taken in a stray? That's how our outdoor cat infestation from my childhood started, haha. I know my family (myself 100% included) has ZERO regrets over rescuing Chance, but yeah, it was a massive problem. Even after her, when we'd entered a phase of having no cats, we took in two kittens (Aphrodite and her sister whose name I just can't remember anymore) that were LITERALLY thrown out of a car in a plastic bag. Aphrodite started a fresh chain of having way too many cats, but not nearly as many as we had with Chance's family. They were still taken by animal control, though, because of wildly shitty neighbors that never communicated "hey they keep wandering into our yard, stop this or we're calling somebody." Coming home from school to every single one of them gone was one of the worst days of my fucking life (I was literally shrieking curses and sobbing on the porch), and I still grieve Aphrodite especially; I adored that cat. BUT ANYWAY, DO NOT keep your cats outdoors, and even when solely indoor pets, spay/neuter them, PLEASE.

What is an animal you are scared of? Whale sharks. It's funny, I like them, they're such peaceful animals, but their mouths just REALLY freak me out. I'd actually like to swim near one one day, maybe kill the fear.

Have you ever been bitten by a dog? Not a serious bite, no. Just a couple nips from nervous ones, the kinds that never even drew blood. My sister has been bitten by a German shepherd though on the hand; it belonged to her friend, and for some reason I don't remember, the dog just attacked her. She wound up needing stitches, and bless her friend, poor girl was sobbing because she felt so bad. It didn't affect Nicole's love for dogs though, and later in life she basically owned a German shepherd named Zeke. Maybe she sorta still does, idk; he was her ex-boyfriend's, and even after the split I know she's always been allowed to see him and I THINK bring him to her place occasionally? That dog is literally the child of divorced parents lmfao

Is Halloween your favorite holiday? Concept and aesthetic-wise, absolutely yes. I LIVE for the vibe, but as far as celebrating the holiday goes, it's not; I really don't do anything, pretty much ever. Christmas is definitely my fave celebratory-wise, because my family gets together and I just love seeing Ash's kids be so overjoyed about it all. It's just one of those days where you really, really focus on the love you have for the people you choose to spend your life with.

Do you like to watch scary movies during October? Meh, I'm just not a movie person, at least when it comes to watching them alone. I'd totally be done for like, watching them with Girt. Primarily because he hates horror/is a total pansy about it and it's hilarious lmfao

What are a couple of your favorite horror films? The original The Blair Witch Project is #1 (I like the sequel too), and I also totally adore The Crazies; maybe tied with the former mention, actually, idk. I thought The Boy was EXCELLENT, that's actually a movie I'd love to watch again. You can't go wrong with The Shining, either! The acting is just historical, plus I'm really into the concept of hysteria building off of what is technically nothing; I think that's also why I love The Blair Witch Project so much, at least the explanation behind it (collective hysteria, overreacting to certain things). The mind is SUCH a powerful thing.

What is your favorite Halloween treat/candy? Pumpkin-shaped Reese's, haha.

Do you often find yourself eating just because you’re bored? I used to be really bad at this, but not so much anymore. I'm not gonna say it NEVER happens, but I've gotten way better about reinforcing to myself "no, you're not hungry, you're bored."

Are you a sex addict? lmao if you know me at all, you know I'm definitely not.

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend taken from you? No. She tried, but I know Juan didn't date her after a lie she made up DID make me say "you know what fuck this I'm done with this whole drama bye" and break up with him. The lie she'd told was very believable for him honestly, and even though I DID know it could be a lie, Rachel had caused enough stress for me already and I wasn't confident enough of how into Juan I was to put up with it. To this day, I consider that lie a saving grace. I know Juan's done bad things that I don't know about (it's specifically stuck with me to this day that his answer to me asking about a stab wound scar he had was "I deserved it"), and bad things I do know about. It says something when your teacher pulls you aside when she noticed him visiting me a lot in art class to tell me to stay away from him. I'm pretty sure she did this literally twice, but for certain once.

If so, what would you like to do to the person who took them from you? Even in the hypothetical of Juan getting back with Rachel after that incident, Rachel is actually my friend now and I think she's fantastic (people grow, I will not hold her past against her). I wish her zero harm at all, only good things.

Have you ever been cheated on? If so, have you forgiven them? No. To mention my last survey, I DO sometimes wonder if Jason and the girl he dated after me (Ashley) had something stirring before we even split, but in total honesty, I don't think so, I really don't. I don't think that's the kind of person Jason was. But it WAS definitely alarming just how quickly he was onto someone else after we split following dating super seriously for over three and a half years.

Quick! Tell me the name of your favorite movie. The Lion King and The Meerkats 2008 documentary. I forget to mention the latter a lot, because it's an obscure movie barely anyone you will ever meet probably even knows, but it is simply phenomenal.

Do you wear water bras? ... What the fuck is a water bra?

Have you ever sent an anon hate message, be honest now. Nope.

Would you let someone give you a golden shower for a million dollars? I had to look this up and hell fucking no.

Name a band that you think is beyond overrated: I don't care man, let people enjoy whatever art they want. I really don't even know who's "in" these days anyway.

Who is the last person you said goodbye to? My PT therapist for today. She was new for me and is already tied with one other woman for my favorite, haha.

Who can you not live without? Nobody. PLEASE, don't adopt this mentality. I know it's hard to, but think realistically: you, in all technicality, CAN live without any one person, and I think this is so important to remember for when one day, you do lose them in one way or another, and you have to continue living without them. I totally used to believe this when it came to Jason, and I know it played a massive role in the severity of the breakup aftermath, but look at who the hell is living just fine - even happily - without him now.

What’s your favorite sea creature? Giant whales like blue whales top the list, but I also deeply love sea turtles, sea lions, seahorses, jellyfish, and dolphins. Sharks are also very cool and VERY unfairly villainized!!

What’s your favorite acoustic song? The "If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn" one by Sleeping With Sirens, I think. That's been a high wedding song contendor for years now, lmao.

What’s your favorite riddle? Okay so this is really just because of context/plot; it's from God of War: Ragnarök, where Brok asks, "What gets bigger the more you take away from it?," and Mimir realizes the answer near the end: a hole. You'd have to play the game to understand and feel the sheer weight of it, which I HIGHLY recommend, the game is fucking brilliant, I cried SO much through it.

What do you think happens after we pass? I just don't know. I know I don't believe in some perfect paradise and a wicked hell for suiting people, but I DO believe we're still... there somehow, but definitely not with the level of sentience and awareness that we do while alive. I like to think that it's a peacefulness, a feeling of wholeness with the world.

^ Is it different from what you’d like to happen? I don't know, really. It's like, on the surface, the idea of a Heaven sounds fantastic, but... to live in nothing but flawless harmony for all conceivable eternity? That just doesn't sound ideal for me. And I ABSOLUTELY don't believe in/want a Hell-like realm to exist, because like I mentioned earlier, people change, grow, and are ALWAYS (well, I suppose almost always) deserving of the chance to redeem themselves. Eternal punishment so severe that our human minds can't even interpret it is just purely fucking diabolical to me, I want that for nobody.

How do you feel about people self-diagnosing themselves with disorders? Hear me out: it depends. In MOST CASES, I absolutely hate this, especially when the person acts like it is stone-hard fact while holding an unconvincing amount of evidence. However, there are plenty of people who just don't have access to doctors capable of properly diagnosing, and then there's also worth mentioning that you know you more than anybody else does. Just depends on a lot.

[kanswers]

Do you have any wisdoms on character writing or comic composition? I adore how atmospheric your comics are 0:

i tried so hard stranger, i'm sry. this is not a great response. it's long but it says nothing. but i'm tryin ALKSDNLKAD TYSM FOR ASKING SNFF. OK GET READY

STARTING WITH character writing… ohggggggg

you know, to be completely honest, i’ve never really thought about character writing while doing it! i’ve never put thought into trying to make mine appear well written or solid. i care how i feel about the characters, and how they feel in their stories, and not how they might appear to others, even if it’s nice when people appreciate them. So i have no real evidence if they’re.. Good… or if i’m good at this at all so it might be hard to give advice on this. unless you like particularly how i do things, i’d be a bad teacher. i’m bad at all the basics, but i think the.. ‘rules’ of story and character writing can be important. maybe? STUDY STUDY

STILL, hopefully it’s somewhat helpful to explain my process even if it’s just what not to do! so!

now i’m not 100% sure what characters of mine people like the most. but to me it seems like the ones i connect to well (though not always relate to) usually seem to be the best received, and i think that’s because i feel something towards them and people can tell when the writer is connected to the character..? Or maybe just because they’re displayed feeling things people can relate to. relating to characters can happen in a lot of different ways, but it can be really important! if story telling isn’t your strong suit, many people will appreciate that you express or portray some genuine emotion in the characters. I THINK.. as for what makes it genuine oh man idk.. you don't have to be feeling it, but i think if you can connect- omg i sound insane. i'm sorry this wasn't remotely helpful WHOOPSDNFLK for wisdoms, this is just my personal thoughts and feelings through what i’ve read myself! I’M NOT GONNA BE NAMING ANY NAMES OF ANY COMICS. i’m no critic. this is just a general. thing

the only thing i can think of being important atm (bc my general M.O is if you like the character, just. do it. enjoy them. that’s all that matters), is a little thought about villains and grey characters!

if you love your character and they’re a bad person (AND IS nOT based on a real one), that’s okay. i love villains, myself but if you don’t acknowledge that they’re terrible, people will pick up on that in a lot of cases. for most, it becomes really obvious when the writer is trying to redeem or justify a character who is a terrible person just because they, the writer, like that character. many villains are enjoyable but only until the writer seems to look past their actions.

in that same vein, some characters don’t need redemption. bad guys can die without redeeming themselves. think hard about the actions your villain is going to take, if you plan on redeeming them even in death. if you’re going for redemption, i’d implore you to avoid certain subjects. and keep in mind that no matter what they do to make up for it, if they’ve done something really horrible, many will still think they shouldn’t be forgiven and you should be okay with that!

speaking of which plsplsplsplspls keep in mind that you can create evil characters who don’t assault or abuse anyone. if you make a character who does perpetrate abuse, i’d say it’s really hard to redeem them in the eyes of a lot of your audience even if they show a huge regret for their actions. something really important is to never ask the audience to, or suggest they should, forgive a villain. but especially not one that they can connect to their abusers.

AND LASTLY, ATMOSPHERE AND COMPOSITION.. get ready to be LET DOWN!!

i mostly concentrate on feelings, and not so much an overarching composition or story or.. anything. atmosphere all centres around those feelings as well. i’m a terrible story writer, in that i have no idea about structure and don’t care enough about the rules of it all to learn really, i’d say you should study good, solid, well reviewed stories you like if you’re looking to create something objectively good! if you just wanna have fun and get some ideas out with purely subjective quality, i’ll write a how-to book ahuehauehheheheh. but it would be very short

AS FOR COMPOSITION OH MAN I HAVE NO IDEA. i think so many of my comic pages are very boring in composition. yawn fest. square squares squares. i try to look at pages of comics i like, to learn. i don’t think i’ve made many improvements yet..

mostly it’s like.. where’s the feeling? in those fidgeting paw hands? ok, panel of that. in the eyes? ok, focus on that. character thinks and then decides not to say something? panel of them hesitating and then shutting their mouth

sometimes i get a decent idea for a cool panel or two but for the most part i don’t really put effort into the composition because i don’t care too much for it unless feeling calls for it.. but you should be better than me! i don’t want for more than enjoyable mediocrity, and i’ve learned to take shortcuts and step back the moment my joy for whatever i’m drawing wanes. and i think i’m much happier for it! but it’s probably also why i’ll never make a big popular franchise or anything substantial. success takes hard work. study hard and strive for more if you want it!

[runthepockets]

This sentiment applies to pretty much every point in history, but in particular I'm thinking of the 2010s and what an insane time it was to be an intersectional feminist back then. You had all of these cis white women (and hell, even white trans people who were still stuck in the hegemonic cultural mindset they were raised around) being like "yeah basically if you hate my very narrow and ass backwards ideas of womanhood and femininity (RE: BEING A USELESS BURDEN THAT EXISTS FOR NOTHING BUT BEING EMOTIONALLY TRAMPLED OVER, CHILD BEARING, GENERAL FRAGILITY, AND A SEVERE LACK OF EMPATHY) or any of the art I make that conveys this shitty sentiment then you hate all women and there's no hope for you".

Criticism of men's violence and emotional incompetence / willful ignorance is warranted, of course. Nothing will change if you don't speak up, everyone needs a space to vent, and even if we see the deconstruction of patriarchal mindset in our lifetimes, most attitudes and opinions will not always be perfect. But making an identity out of forming a big circle jerk over Lana Del Ray, relating to that mean, racist little white girl from Lady Bird (2018), and stewing in a pot of your own misery all day every day just does not compare, nor is it terribly accessible, relatable, or interesting to anyone outside of a very specific identity and experience, nor is it sustainable for a political movement.

Like idk dude, I grew up around a lot of black girls and latinas who would beat your ass 6 ways to Sunday if you said anything remotely disrespectful about their abilities as a woman. People of all races and nationalities still empathize with Lauryn Hill and think fondly of Aaliyah. Nicki Minaj moved mountains for middle school girls in 2010, and though the initial reaction to her was pretty rough, by 2012 even the guys had been endeared enough to her to start including her in musty dorm room debates about who was reshaping the rap game alongside Kanye and Wayne. Me and my homies bumped Bad Girls by M.I.A at the end of every day my freshman year of high school. As a black man I think Skate Kitchen (2018) was one of the coolest movies to come out of the last decade.

These are all women, same as you-- possibly even less popular due to their nonwhite status-- but with diverse experiences, self awareness, and approaches to nuance that speak to a wide variety of people and set them apart, thus the outpour of support from all sides. I don't think womanhood itself is the problem here, I think you're just boring and mean with all the tools in the world at your fingertips to expand and elevate your mindset, but none of the know how to use any of them. If anything I think you should talk to somebody.

I think we fucked up by letting white people be the face and voice of the majority of the feminist movement.

[transconnerkent-blog]

so idk what my gender is and i dont wanna label myself just yet cause it makes me uncomfortable- but my question is, can your gender dysphoria get better? I'm a female but I don't like my body parts and as a kid my gender dysphoria was so fucking bad. Like I'd have a meltdown if I had to wear a dress or when I took off my shirt and I noticed my breasts there and aaaah! but it hasn't been that bad when I grew up and I guess it's cause my family told me to get over it and that me being (part 1/2)

more masculine is just a phase and ill grow out of the whole "tomboy" thing. and im guessing that my gender dysphoria got sorta better?? cause i was told that its a phase and that ill be more feminine as im older. does that make sense? i still get uncomfortable looking at my body parts but its not as bad as it was as a child (part 2/2)

I mean from personal experience my gender dysphoria has only got worse the older I got. But what you’re describing here isn’t gender dysphoria getting “better”. It’s your interests changing. The cisnormative environment and society we’ve been raised in tries so hard to make us ignore that sort of thing. You still feel dysphoric but it feels like it’s not as bad as when you were younger because you’ve started ignoring it and adapted how you cope with it because that’s how you survive in a cisnormative society. The thinking is if you don’t acknowledge your dysphoria then cis people won’t make you an outcast, but the problem with that is it eats you alive because not acknowledging it doesn’t make it go away or make it better. It’s still there and it’s not gonna leave. Being conditioned to think your dysphoria is a phase gives you this false sense of it getting “better” when it’s not. 

It’s got fuck all to do with liking ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ things (and I say that loosely because fuck things being gendered in the first place). I went through a massive period of rejecting anything even remotely ‘feminine’ like painting my nails or liking the colour pink. Except now I paint my nails and pink is my favourite colour. Has my dysphoria got better because of this? Fuck no it has not because it’s got fuck all to do with my gender. I was a boy when I hated those things and I’m still a boy now that I like those things. Just because I’ve become more tolerant and accepting of ‘feminine’ things in relation to myself and truly realised the bullshit of gendering things unnecessarily/gender roles, does not change the fact that I am a trans man who feels immense amounts of dysphoria about my chest and people misgendering me.

As for your second part “i still get uncomfortable looking at my body parts but its not as bad as it was as a child”. I used to not be able to look at myself when I got changed. I’d close my eyes so I didn’t have to look at my body because that would trigger my dysphoria. I don’t do that anymore, but my dysphoria is just as bad, if not worse. I’m still not comfortable with my body but I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is my body and I’ve only got one of it and so I tired of giving into my dysphoria. Does it still fucking suck to look at my chest? Fuck yeah it does. I feel so ridiculously uncomfortable. But I know that in a few years I’ll be on T and have top surgery and it will look the way I want it to look so either I can spend my time wallowing or I can look for the positives in my situation. That’s not my dysphoria getting better. That’s me learning how to cope with it.

It’s not your dysphoria that’s getting better, it’s the way that you’re coping with it that’s getting better. Everyone’s dysphoria is different, and it can change over time (change does not mean/equal getting better). Dysphoria can be better or worse on some days and in different stages of your life, because gender is fluid so you have to take that into consideration. It’s not that dysphoria gets better, it’s that it begins to present itself in different ways. But from my understanding of what you’ve told me, it’s not that your dysphoria has got better, it’s that your attitude towards it has changed.

My friend @niehaus-knees said: in relation to “it’s not as bas as when I was a child” that I know for myself, before I knew I was trans, I got better at ignoring it so it wasn’t as bad as when I was going through puberty. Ignoring dysphoria isn’t the same as it getting better. I guess it just depends for them. Like my dysphoria is terrible and I wouldn’t say it’s got ‘better’ (if anything it’s got worse now that I know i’m trans) but it’s not often that I feel as shitty as I did when I was going through puberty. The insanity of change that comes with puberty was a huge shock and it’s still the same amount of dysphoria but I’m kind of used to it being there. It’s not “as bad” because you know it’s there and you know what it is. 

[1d1195]

okay part two lol THE SUNFLOWER EXTRA WAS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT!! I thought it was so cute that it was set up in a way where we were getting Harry’s pov and how he was reminiscing their first date! It was a really cute way of incorporating their current dynamic while still giving us how their first date went! It was so cute😭 loved the fluffiness of it all!! Harry is just so cute in this! Like him being super early to pick her up and just watching her was soooo 😭 I feel like fluff can be overlooked sometimes so this was just absolutely such a sweet little read! ANWAYS bestie loved it as always!

Now I saw your post about the next couple of extras and I have some thoughts/questions that’s may help! NOW DONT FEEL OBLIGATED TO EVEN REMOTELY LIKE THEM AND TAHTS OKAY IF YOU DONT!!! You’re their creator and in the end you know best!

Okay so I am a neighbors STAN so I would accept anything for them lol though I do understand wanting to take a break from the concept of dadrry so I understand wanting to space them out! Traditional Harry is sooo always so INSANE in a good way so that would be nice to read too!

If you’re foaming at the mouth to write a Most check in… BESTIE I SUPPORT WRITTING THEM BC IF YOURE GOING CRAZY I WILL DIE!! Obviously only if you feel inspired lol and same goes with Dolcezza!

Okay now with Yours, you said you imagined them getting back together so how would that exactly go? Harry is famous in this so would the transition be easy or immediate? Do they do a co-parenting thing for awhile(bc technically that’s being in both their lives) and solely focus on the baby? Or do they have a little miscommunication with how their dynamic will be, are they going to work it out romantically?

In the ask you mentioned a ring so a cute engagement proposal would be cute if you feel up for it! MFT could be angsty with how both are in their final year(I think they if not I will simply have to reread 😊) and maybe they think about what the next “level” of their relationship looks like? DING omg idk what I would suggest tbh lol only bc I can see the Cupcake still not being able to open up like emotionally yet and maybe it’s like a rough patch in their relationship and that comes up? Idk why all I can think for them is angst lol

ANYWAYS!!! These are just ideas you obviously don’t have to do any of them and I’m sure you’ll create something far more magical!!-💜

I felt like I had been writing a lot of first date moments recently and I was like I need another angle. So I figured it would be nice to be like "no they're like really a couple and very cutesy" and still make them have the fluffy first date jitters kind of thing. Glad you loved it! 💕

Don't get me wrong, I would love to do a Neighbors update but yeah, I'm going to hold off because we're mid-dadrry and not getting rid of them till October either. I'm thinking something like DECEMBER for them 😭 (I have two outlined/planned extras for Neighbors!) and I ALWAYS have a Traditional extra ready to go (there are four outlined/planned extras left in my drafts!)

I'm kinda hoping I can do Most tbh but also hoping I can wait until October? That would be ideal. I'm trying to stockpile ideas and drafts and pieces because like I mentioned it's going to be busy in October 😭 Dolcezza would be fun too I think I relate most to her so it's pretty easy to whip up some emotional stuff and whatnot for them (although as I mentioned I have a smutty idea for them--or maybe at least part-smut 🤭)

Your questions for all of the next ones are SO helpful!

I like the idea of Yours NOT being an easy transition. Miscommunication? Here for it. (Spoiler/not spoiler, they're going to work out romantically 😉) Next level of MFT relationship would be LOVELY especially in their last year! Ding angst is also my favorite kind of angst I def relate to her a lot as well and it's easy for me to feel angsty hahahaha

Thank you for all your ideas! I sincerely appreciate it! I was hoping for a little more feedback on it but I guess since it wasn't a clear cut poll I didn't really do anyone any favors 🤷‍♀️ but that's okay. I appreciate the feedback I got 💕 Thank you as always!

xoxo