#idk if the edit is good enough but i did spend an hour on it :P

[sanfezu]

Spoilers for C.R.K Beast Yeast Episode 2??

edit of a “who knocked over my onions” meme

idk i was playing, and then the next thing i knew i was in photoshop editing this :’D

(i did this as quick as possible haha)

[not-alien-girl-v]

need more 1975 stuff 😭

Long Way Home (Matty Healy)

warning: tw matty healy, road head but not what you think mentions of drinking, probably various horrific grammar mistakes i don’t edit my writing

note: i’m here i’m alive i am writing this after getting back from the gym and in half an hour i will be going for a walk. miss you all wish i was more productive and could write more so you all could talk to me more (i’m a whore for attention). i have a huge crush on a guy i met once and idk what to do about it. anyways enough about me

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

“i kinda have to pee,” she shifts in her seat, trying not to feel like a child next to him. it’s easy to.

“can you wait till we get home? i don’t want to have to take a shortcut,” his tone is mildly annoyed, perhaps irritated, but in a loving, fond, ‘i spend so much time with you i’m allowed to be sick of all your complaining’ kind of way. it always comes from a place of love with him, even when he doesn’t mean for it to.

“i’ll be fine, i guess. but distract me. please?”

he sighs out of the corner of his mouth, a stray curl flying off the side of his face. it’s slightly outgrown, his hair, and he’s put it up in a man-bun, as she refuses to call it anything but a man-bun, since that’s what it is. either way, the front pieces are falling out and it’s tied up in the back, giving his neck space.

the sun set a few hours ago, and the sky, once golden orange and red from the dear departure of the star has long since forgotten what daylight felt like, and the moon is the new light shining on city below, like a star would.

he grips the steering wheel. he pulls it left, turning onto a new street, a less busy stretch then the one they previously drove down. he speeds up.

“what do you want to talk about?” he sounds smooth, if that’s a way one could sound, or maybe it’s just in her imagination, but his voice sounds like it’s made for this, this exact moment. maybe not the ‘having to pee’ part, no, but the moon, the street, the city.

he’s lost, not figuratively, but literally. he doesn’t know what street he turned onto but it’s not one in his mental map of this city, but he doesn’t share this with her.

“i don’t know. anything. just say stuff to me. i like the sound of your voice.”

she wonders if his internal dialogue is anything similar to hers, if he thinks in the same dialect that she does, if he wonders about how easily the sky forgets the sun each night, how warm the welcoming embrace is every morning when it returns from rest.

she’s sure, however, that his thoughts probably don’t include anything about how good he looks in a t-shirt. it’s the most simple item of clothing a man can own, aside from maybe a pair of blue jeans, yet she looks at him wearing it, the way he wears it, shirt sleeves folded at his biceps, the way the fabric crinkles and folds itself at the bottom, resting on him perfectly like it was set out with perfect care, like he wants her to look at him like she wants to eat him alive.

maybe he does, maybe he does all of this on purpose, maybe he’s more than just a stupid, stupid boy and he knows much more than any boy should about what a girl thinks, maybe he’s practically a girl inside his own head.

maybe he doesn’t even do it for her, maybe he does it for himself, he always does say he’s sexually attracted to himself, maybe he dresses so carefully in order to satisfy his desire to be attractive in his own opinion.

“matty?”

“hm? oh, right, i was supposed to distract you. um, road head?”

she shoots him a glare so hard, laser beams shoot from her eyes, instantly vaporizing him in his spot, or at least that’s what it must feel like.

“kidding, i’m kidding, love.”

“you better be. i did that once, and never again will i. lucky we didn’t get pulled over.”

“you gave road head?”

she scoffs, “don’t sound so surprised.”

“with who?”

“well, it was before i met you- well, actually, it was after we met, but we weren’t together yet, you were just that guy from that gay band at this point. anyway, remember two years ago, that guy owen? yeah, him.”

“oh, fucking owen. of course it was fucking owen,” he whines.

“yep. fucking owen. so he had this old ass car. it was really pretty, maybe if i actually cared about the car i’d be able to remember what kind it was or whatever. it was red, if that matters.”

“it doesn’t. get to the good part.”

“whatever. so we were going down the interstate, right, because why fucking not? and there was some imagine dragons song playing because it was fucking owen, and he turns to me and he’s all like, ‘babe i’m so fucking horny right now.’”

she feels a pride in her storytelling skills when he giggles at it.

“so i look down and you know, he wasn’t kidding. so he basically begs me to give him road head, right-“

“red flag. leave him,” he interrupts.

“i did. so i start going, doing my thing when he starts doing that thing where he pushes the back of my head down. and he’s getting rough, like he’s getting into it, and i just wasn’t prepared for it so i gag a little bit but i’m fine so i keep going but so does he. he’s got a hard grip on my hair and it hurts like a mother fucker but i’m just like ‘whatever it’s fine,’ then all of the sudden-“

“you puked on him?”

“i puked on him.”

he gasps, dramatically, in a fit of giggles, slapping his knee like it’s just the silliest thing he’s heard all day.

“ok, ok, i’m not done though. there’s more.”

“there’s more?”

“there’s more. so obviously he was fucking pissed, right. so pissed that he dumps me! figuratively and literally dumps me on the side of the road, and we had pulled off the interstate at this point, you know, not just on the side of the freeway, but still, it’s like 3am and i’m alone, in a small pool of my own vomit, my hairs a mess and i’m a mess too.”

“wait, this sounds familiar.”

“it should. so get this, i don’t know what to do, if i called my parents i’d never hear the fucking end of it, if i called my sister, she’d laugh so hard over the phone she’d hang up. so you know who the first person i called was?”

“it was me. i remember.”

“yeah, it was you. and you came in like 5 minutes, you were there and you took me to your place, and that was the first time i had ever been to your apartment, poor george was so confused why you left so suddenly in the middle of the night only to come home with a seriously disheveled looking girl,” she recalls.

he adds on, “he hadn’t even met you yet, had he? so you were just a stranger at that point. and i gave you a change of clothes and we played a billion games of mario kart on the xbox until you fell asleep on me.”

“we were both pretty drunk at that point, keep in mind, me more than you because i pregamed in owen’s car.”

he nods and continues his side of the story, “and you probably don’t know what happened after that, do you?” she shakes her head, wondering what part of the narrative she’s been unaware of for so long.

“alright, so i was pretty wasted too, and i wanted to be all gentlemanly and carry you to bed while you slept. i had a huge crush on you at this point, but i’m sure you kind of knew.”

“i didn’t! i didn’t know at all, that’s why i called you, like, if i’m drunk and alone, no offense but i probably wouldn’t have called someone i thought had a thing for me.”

“i understand, but you know i would never do that. anyways, so i’m up off the couch and i’m trying to pick you up bridal style, is that what that’s called? i don’t know. so i’m going to lift you and i can’t fucking do it, i almost drop you every time and i’m trying so hard, i really wanted to be a gentleman for you.”

“that was when you were in your small era, i remember.”

“hey, don’t call it a ‘small era’, that’s stupid, i was just skinny and i hardly went to the gym. also did a lot of drugs at the time, but that’s beside the point, the point is: i couldn’t lift you.”

she’s on the edge of her seat, the urge of having to pee completely off her mind by now. “so what did you do?”

“i- i fuckin made george do it. and he was so pressed, not at you, at me, because he had already gone to bed at that point but i insisted on it, so i made him get up, do this manual labor for free, taking you to my bed and all, then we both shared a smoke out on the fire escape outside my bedroom.”

“you’re right, i had no idea, i assumed you did it. it was actually one of the reasons i was so smitten with you so quickly, because even as friends, you did so many little things like that, things you didn’t have to do. it’s how i fell in love with you.”

“well, how do you feel now, knowing that it was george the whole time?”

“hmm, i guess i have to dump you, get with george now, since he’s been doing the heavy lifting since day one apparently,” they both burst into heavy laughter, tears beading at the corners of their eyes, and before they know it, matty’s taken a thousand turns away from the direction of their shared apartment, but with her, getting lost isn’t all that bad.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

taglist: @indierockgirrl @itssimpleanditgoeslikethis @milkluvr8 @americanangel

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY

The self care edition

thank you for tagging me @creepkinginc @jrooc @lingy910y and @energievie

Name: gigi

Age: 24

What kind of day is it? i wish everyone reading this could have sat in my last design presentation this evening. it was such a bizarre combination of frustrating and horrible and absurdly hilarious we were all laughing hysterically once we saw those clients were on the elevator - pouring a big girl glass of wine as i type this

When was the last time you ate? like 10 hours ago, but I never eat lunch and dinner is in the oven at the moment

About how many hours of sleep did you get? 5 💀

Name one thing you could do to make your day better right now: text bomb all my friends in my field about my horrible meeting

Why are you not doing that thing? believe me yall, I am

What are you going to do tonight to relax? hanging out on tumblr right now, after dinner I usually write but im having a little writers block atm, so ill patiently work on my comic project and watch tele until it passes

What comfort food do you not eat often enough? Poke

What’s stopping you? its so far away :'(

Have you ever had a professional massage? no but I've really been thinking about it, but i dont like the dentist or hairdressers so I dont think i would like it, luckily my partner gives very good massages

Have you eaten fruits and vegetables today? you know it! I had lychee and bananas with breakfast and im having a salad with dinner

How much water have you had today? many glasses, im always sippin

Is there a self-care gadget you really want to buy? nothing comes to mind but ill put all of you onto something - buy an ergonomic mouse if you spend a lot of time on the computer, my hand was going numb by the end of thesis and this thing changed my life

this is the one i got, its a little pricey and im sure theres cheaper ones but seriously, changed my life

What is your favourite healthy snack?

stovetop popcorn poped in sesame oil and finished with furikake - thank me later

What is your favourite unhealthy snack? jalapeño chips

What is one thing you are going to start doing RIGHT NOW to take better care of yourself? quit my job and move to another city for my quarter life crisis idk yoga?

And to close, I want you to say one NICE thing to yourself that you really need to hear right now: i absolutely adore you! youre amazing! incredible! keep up the good work! fuck that lady with the ugly hair who shit all over your work *eye twitch*

how do you self care? @sweetbee78 @ian-galagher @mybrainismelted @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @juliakayyy @howlinchickhowl @bawlbrayker @mickeysgaymom @stocious

[gayashawol]

My attempt at making a jonghyun x black reader birthday sex imagine lol

(cw // sex, probably gay, probably cringe since i haven’t made a proper smut in a while)

edit: surprise, it’s actually not gay it’s gender neutral lol (idk how i did it but i did it)

As you lay on the couch, you hear a car pulling up just outside. You took a peek at your window and saw your husband, Jonghyun, coming out of the car, seeming tired. He came home earlier than usual, he wouldn’t really do such thing, unless it was for a valid reason.

Today was one of those days, it was your birthday. He knew he wasn’t working the next day, so he wanted to spend the night with you. He even drove past McDonald’s on the way home so you didn’t need to cook.

As soon as Jonghyun opened the door, you couldn’t bear not to take the opportunity to run to him like a puppy. He let go of the paper bags from his hand and held onto you dearly. He knew how much you missed him during those hours apart, and so the embrace felt more heavenly — like something that he never felt in a stretched amount of time.

Before he could even place the food out, emotions flooded the room and the both of you started making out on the kitchen counter. It was the perfect temperature, the perfect volume on the tv and the right touch from him may have swept you off your feet.

It had escalated past the kitchen, where you both went to the couch — you could see Jonghyun on top of you, slowly undressing you. His abs in full display as his work uniform on the floor and on the neck of the couch. It wasn’t until your glowing skin touched the air that he would caress you, going down until he reached your thighs. It was when he laid his head in between, creating a sound out of you that only him would ever do to you — and nobody else.

His fingers are just a delight to see and to feel. To have them inside of you would be a whole another experience. All the twisting and turning — the skin slapping from his thumb and knuckles, the closer he was to the core, the more you felt like you would break from within.

“Seems like you’re ready for it.” Jonghyun murmured softly to himself, clear enough so you could hear it. The sound of pants falling down was all you could picture the scene with. You were so out of it that you could feel your body throbbing before it even started.

That very moment though, it did happen right away. You felt something poking on your hole. You knew it was Jonghyun’s cock, but it was unexpected — the good kind. He then went up to you, with his cock beside you by the clothes. You began to lick him from the tip, then slowly made your way down from the neck. It wasn’t long until the hairs started poking your face.

“You’re so good at this, babes…” He praised you, moaning softly underneath his breath. He placed his hand on top of your head so he could give yourself a gentle push as you went through with it. All you could do was suck, pull and squish it. He would still be grateful, since it would always be you doing it for him.

As his harden cock started to become coded with saliva, he was able to attempt to enter your insides, in which it was successful. It almost sunk completely, with it taking all the space from within.

With Jonghyun on top of you, he started by swaying his hips seductively. As he felt the music playing from the TV, he would change the speed depending on the tempo. He would still give you kisses all over you, mainly your back and your ass would be filled with slap marks.

It was the most you ever felt in your entire life that when it ended way too soon, it would crush your soul so badly. Jonghyun would never give up on you, so he allowed himself to go in for a second time — only this time he was much more stronger than he was before.

He took you to the bedroom, where the scene gotten more crazier than it should’ve if they’ve gone earlier. Their clothes went like they were leaving a trail, all over the floor and certainly disordered.

The bed started creaking as soon as it began, giving the neighbours something to complain about later on. He kept giving you neck kisses, you wished you could kiss him back, yet he would be giving you the fuck of your lifetime.

“Nnnnghhh~” The moan occured, obvious that you were enjoying the action. Jonghyun totally was, and so he was making every second count, with him having one hand smacking your ass and the other holding onto you.

He was getting ready to shoot a load inside, when he decided to hold it in a little longer so he could orgasm with you together. He laid you facing him with your legs higher than you could ever lift them, so he could see your very face before the upcoming whiteness of a substance.

That very moment your eyes reached the back of your eye socket, he knew it was close, and he did it right there and then. He disconnected, showing the wet goodness the both of you produced together out of love, and passion for one and other.

Jonghyun couldn’t stop kissing you afterwards, it soon became gorgeous with the both of you under the sheets. He knew that he’ll need to wash them, but he didn’t care at this point. He just wanted to be with his cute partner, which would be you, on your birthday and that was exactly what he did…

…which would be why you guys completely forgotten about the McDonald’s he bought and ran back down hoping that the chips didn’t become stale after all this time.

—

[alltimefail-sims]

Do you have any tips for getting into/making sims stories? (Idk what to call them lol, but like your strangersville story), and tips for taking posed screenshots because I’m struggling-

Hello, friend! 🤗

I am so genuinely flattered that you would ask me for advice. I'll admit, I've only been officially on simblr for a little over a year and I'm just getting a groove in posting, so I'm still learning about the storytelling format and posing aspect, too. Here are some really great posts that helped me:

@seaslugsims: Storytelling Resources Part 1

and Storytelling Resources Part 2

Storytelling Tips and Tricks thread started by @citylighten (Check the reblogs on this one - so many amazing, experienced creators have weighed in on their personal tips and tricks)

I hate posing sims, but I've found that it just takes practice and patience. @ts4-poses is a great resource blog for finding poses because it is organized into categories, making finding a specific pose less overwhelming. Put all the sims you need for a story post in the same household so you have full control of them all. Ravasheen's ISO Camera for in-game photos is what dreams are made of because the photos always come out perfect and no one has to be behind the camera to take the picture. When taking photos using the tab key, take them from multiple angles so you have a lot of options when editing your posts.

I also would say don't be afraid to just keep asking for advice! If you see a post you like, don't be afraid to ask someone how they did it! I've learned so much just by going to creators like "Hey, this post you made was so great... what editing do you use? Do you use a reshade/gshade shader? Do you resize photos?" You can learn a lot from others, and over time with practice (and a lot of trial and error) you will gain your footing and develop a style of your own!

Now, onto where I have personal experience: getting into stories and making stories! For me personally, a good story is all about characters and world building. Because simblr stories give you an opportunity to show varying perspectives and focus on more than one character's viewpoint (kind of like a comic or TV show), you can best take advantage of that by writing in-depth characters you love (or love to hate, lol). Knowing the setting and how the characters fit into that setting is really the backbone of any good story, and if you care about the details and you care about those characters, your audience will feel that! Also knowing what you like to write helps, too! I like sci-fi, fantasy, and coming of age; I like mysteries and love stories are my lifeblood (I'm a hopeless romantic); and I am a sucker for a good found family trope... so that's what I write! You'll never catch me writing horror stories full of loss, or adult romance stories, nor am I gonna pop out a teen drama (yk like Degrassi-esque or Disney Channel) or something cutting-edge/dark/with a strong visual aesthetic (like Euphoria) because I know that's not my thing (and editing is not my strength - I would HATE spending hours editing posts where some others might love that part of the process. I don't write or create something because I think it will be popular or on-trend or garner viewership (even though wanting validation is not a bad thing imo) I just create to create. I create using my strengths first, and I would recommend you write to your strengths and don't feel like you have to rush the process.

My biggest piece of advice is that if you have a story to tell, tell it! Trust me, someone (or a lot of someones) will love it. You may only get a few views at first, or it may take off right from the jump, but regardless your story is worth telling. Start by just opening a google doc and jotting down ideas as they come to you until one sticks. Don't be afraid to shelf what doesn't work or what you're not feeling any more. My Strangerville story was not my first venture on simblr, but it is the only one I have loved enough to keep up with.

Lastly, please let me know when you do put your story out there. You've already got one fan!!! 📣💕

[joelsreligion]

Don't Tell (part 3)┊ dbf!Joel x Reader

(a/n) I started this story without much of a plot in mind but I think I figured one out that I'd like to write out so !!! excited for tht. My tiktok is also nothing but Pedro and other dilfs and there was a comment on a Peña edit that said 'omg the way he turns' AND I FELT THAT IN THE DEEPEST CORE OF MY HEART because the GRIP this man has on me is nuts. But yeah, maybe expect someee more plot in the next part :) I need to figure it out

(Summary) (10k) Joel tells you he wants to take some time to think about what happened and you're upset :( Your dad, Sarah, you n Joel finally go to the lake house and arrive there on a CRISP Friday afternoon and everyones exhaustedd. You and Joel go out for groceries cause you're bored and there's no food.

(Warnings) exhibitionism, f masturbation and fingering, kind of oral f receiving, m teasing, dirty talk, spit :D (dirty Joel Miller drives me crazy idk), m fingering f, mention of pills/painkillers, and anything else I forget to mention

The early summer sun flooded your room at 7 in the morning on an early Friday. The shine of the rays woke you up early following your light 5 hour sleep. After what happened with Joel, you felt light on your feet and your body was too fired up to rest. 

Might as well get up; Should start packing. 

You got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. You completed your hygiene rituals and then grabbed everything you needed to put in a little plastic pouch. You walked back out into the bedroom and headed for your closet. You grabbed some shirts and shorts and walked over to your bed to put everything down. You made your way over to your dresser and opened the middle drawer. You stared at your pile of bras and underwear and felt a heat rise up your neck. You weren’t sure what would happen (if anything would happen) at the lake house with Joel, but you wanted to look good. You wanted to look good for him and wear something that would make him feel crazy. Maybe it wasn’t the safest thing to spend time with him in that way when you could easily get caught, but you also knew you couldn’t help yourself. It didn’t take much to convince you to give in. 

Yeah no, looks like I’m trying too hard. You folded over a lace thong. 

No.. not those. You pushed aside some worn out, olive green, boy shorts. 

Ok, this is fine. You held onto a pair of navy cloth in your fingers. The sides that wrapped around your hips were thinner than the rest of the piece and they had white stitching all around it. It wasn’t too much and it wasn’t too tacky. It was just good enough that it didn’t seem like you picked it out intentionally or anything, but very clearly you did. You rummaged around for a couple more pairs and closed your drawer only to open the one below that. You looked through your attempted efforts to fold your bikinis and chose a top and bottom piece that matched. You couldn’t help yourself but to pick things out with him in mind; What he’d like best, what his favorite colors were, did he like you better in jeans or shorts. It was barely a week since you saw him for the first time but you were completely infatuated with him. Everything you knew about him and the things you had yet to learn made your heart fuzzy and you couldn’t help but smile. 

Your mind went over to the way his lips felt on your stomach. His musky, wood and leather scent that followed him. The softness of his voice. How he looked at you when you told him to keep going. 

The blush itched at your neck and you squeezed your eyes shut trying to dismiss the memories. 

I don’t have time. Not right now. 

You needed to get your things together and pack for your dad. You closed your drawer containing all your swimwear and spent the next 15 minutes grabbing any other small things you might need. Your hairbrush, lotion, shampoo, charger, things like that. You packed everything in your old duffel bag and made your way to your dads room with your bag in hand. 

Packing for him was a lot easier. He was very simple. A couple plain tees, a pair of jeans, some shorts, and you didn’t contemplate what you grabbed, you just grabbed it. It was quick. You folded everything into one of his used travel bags and walked downstairs with one in each hand. Just as you put them down by the door, you saw Joel’s truck pull into the driveway. You unlocked the door so they’d be able to come in and made your way to the kitchen so you could make something to eat. You pulled out some pre-cut fruit and started to work on the batter for your waffles when you heard a knock. 

“It’s open” you yelled from behind the kitchen island. 

The front door opened, letting the warm and fresh air fill the room. You looked up at the door and saw your dad smile at you. 

“There she is. How’s my girl?” He stepped in slowly and put two fingers up to his temple and rubbed. He cautiously made his way to a chair across the island from you and sat down. You chuckled lightly. 

“A lot better than you, looks like it” 

“Ha ha. Oou, no..” he squinted his eyes a little harder. His face scrunched together and he took in a breath to try and relieve some pain “..can’t do that right now. Head’s killin’ me.” 

“Oh here,” you stopped making your breakfast and looked around for the bottle of painkillers Joel brought over last night “..I think we have some ibuprofen.. or, uh..” 

Where the hell’s the damn bottle.

Your dad didn’t look up. His eyes were still squinted shut and one hand was supporting his chin while the other kept massaging his temple. You looked all around the counter and your face flushed with embarrassment. You got a little aimless and moved the hair out of your face to try and gain some composure. You went into a silent, erratic panic when you tried looking for the thing Joel gave you. 

“..here. Found it. Aspirin.” You tried to level your breath. You followed the directions on the cap and twisted it off. You tapped the bottle into your hand until a single pill tumbled down and you put it on the counter in front of your dad. He opened his eyes and put the pill between the pads of his thumb and index finger. 

“I’ll get you some water.” You turned around and made your way to the cupboard for a plastic cup. You walked towards the fridge and pushed the rim of the cup towards the sensor. 

“Hey where’d you find these?” 

Shit.

“What?” You called out from the fridge. You didn’t fully turn around, but you twisted your head a bit to make it seem like you really didn’t hear him. Your hand trembled a little and you moved your body to try and cover it up from your dad. 

He doesn’t knowwww it was Joel’s. It’s fine. He wouldn’t ever think that. Just.. breathe and..breathe. Just breathe. Holy shit. It’s fine. 

“I thought we didn’t have any more. Put it on the uh, the shoppin’ list but I forgot to-”

“To take the list with you?” You finished his sentence and pulled your cup away from the sensor. Your heart settled and the heat in your cheeks diminished into your surroundings. You turned around to walk over to him and place the cup down in front of him. 

“Yeah..I, I forgot to take the list with me” 

You gave him a soft smile and responded to his defeat. 

“It’s fine. I found an extra bottle in the uh..” you swallowed “..the living room.” You tried to sound as unshaken as you could. You paid attention to everything. The pitch of your voice, your breathing, you made sure not to tap your fingers on the counter or swallow too much; all tells that you were lying. 

Your dad gave you a little nod and put the pill on his tongue. He brought the cup to his lips and you watched him drink it down while you suddenly remembered you were cooking. You walked over to the stove and heard another knock on the already open door. 

“Mornin’” Joel called from the doorway “.. can we come in?” 

“Yeah, hey! Come in” You called from the kitchen. You gave him a sheepish smile and a look that lingered for a second too long. Thankfully your dad didn’t notice, his eyes were closed right after he took the pill. Joel returned the look and glanced at the counter where he was standing a couple hours ago. He looked at how it was now occupied by a bowl of mango and a bowl of batter.

So domestic. He thought 

Sarah followed in behind her dad and walked over to where your dad was sitting. She greeted you and began a conversation while you cooked some extra waffles for your guests before heading out. 

“Wait so, we’re all going in one car then?” You grabbed a piece of mango and raised it to your mouth as you asked the question. 

“Not unless you want your dad to drive like that '' Sarah reveled from in front of you. Your dad groaned. He usually would’ve had a more engaging comeback but he didn’t have it in him now. 

“Mmm. Yeah, fair. Ok just, here help yourselves..” You put a plate with waffles in front of your dad and Sarah “..and I’ll be back in a minute. Imma throw the bags into the truck”

You ignored Joels stare on you as you spoke. You headed for the door and picked up the two bags on the way out, you could feel his eyes on you. He took in slow steady breaths and kept an unfazed expression as he watched you walk away, then he turned back to Sarah.

“I’ll be back kid, ‘mma help her put the things in the car.” He gave her an unassuming smile and she barely heard what he said. She was too busy chewing on the food in front of her. Joel walked out of the house and down the driveway until he reached the trunk of his car where you were just about to throw in the first bag. 

“Hey.” He said something first. You hadn’t noticed him as he walked up to you but you definitely noticed him now.

“Hey” you responded softly. You gave him a smile and noticed that he was wearing the same gray shirt he had worn the night before.

“You’re wearin’ clothes this time.” He looked at your jeans and gave you a small crooked grin when he tilted his head to the side.

You let out a breath with a smile. 

“I was wearing clothes last time you saw me, too.”

“Barely.”

Your cheeks flushed lightly and you stopped moving to fully turn your body to face him. Your right hand came up to your face and you put the free piece of hair behind your ear. You looked at him and the way he was standing. He was leaning his shoulder on the truck and his hands were crossed over his chest. His right foot crossed over his left and his face was covered with delicate but prominent features. 

“You’re complaining that I was wearing clothes?” Your smile made him grin “I would’ve thought my clothes were annoying you.”

You looked at him. Intimately. His eyes were dark and flirty. You knew Joel enjoyed playful banter but this was the first time you’d returned it on a different level. You felt you had a whole different area to play into and you knew he’d play into it just as well.

“I think you were annoyed you were wearin’ any..” his face was still “..I worked my way around it jus’ fine.” His smirk was devilish and you couldn’t ignore the pit in your stomach that was growing larger every second he looked at you. 

“Just fine?” Your eyebrow raised as you spoke and your smile never left your face. He was pushing you. You liked it but you didn’t want to give in so you pushed back.

“Jus’ fine. ” He didn’t give in. His words were short and still but they were also the opposite. They were warm and sweet and they let you know everything you needed to know about what he was thinking. His subtle Texas accent made your heart flood with lust and you stared at him, taking in every bit that you could. 

In a couple seconds his expression changed and he wasn’t leaning on the truck anymore. He also wasn’t smiling. His hands came down to his hips and he stared at the floor with a weighted look. 

“Look, I- I liked what happened last night ok but..you need to give me some time to think about it.” He didn’t look at you but you looked at him. Even though his face was angled towards the floor, you saw how his eyebrows furrowed and the disillusioned look he held. 

“Think about..what..? Where’s this coming from.” It wasn’t a question, you were demanding something. The tightness in the air completely changed and now you were the one with your hands crossed over your chest. 

“Everythin’. It was very sudden n, it wasn’- I’m not sayin’ I didn’t enjoy it because I did, but I-”

“Yeah you said that, so what’s there to think about.” Your words were edged. You were impatient.

Joels head came up and his eyes met yours

He’s giving me that fucking look again.

It wasn’t a good look. He gave it to you last night. It was the look you hated and the one that made you feel like a helpless little girl when you very much weren’t.

Pity.

“Baby, you’re my-”

“Yeah your best friends daughter, your daughters best friend, you said that yesterday. What’s there to think about? Why can’t-” 

Your voice was raising but you had no idea and Joel cut you off.

“You need to keep your voice down.” It was barely above a whisper; like somehow it would cancel out your volume.

“What?”

“You’re screamin’ n they-”

“I’m not screaming. You’re being dramatic.” Your words were rough.

“Right well the doors open n your dad n my daughter are in there so keep your voice down.”

The reminder that your dad and Sarah could easily overhear your conversation grounded you, quickly. You were a little hurt. You were confused. 

He said he wanted it to happen again but he’s making up some excuse to stop it from happening? What the hell, Joel. Jesus christ. 

You think you were quiet for a little too long and it gave Joel the opportunity to say something else.

“Look, nevermind alrigh’? Jus’ forget I said anythin’. If you can go in the house with a smile, that’d be great so they don’ think anythin’s wrong ok baby? We can-”

“Hey are we good to go?” Sarah called from the door. You looked up and felt a little startled. Joel also looked at Sarah. It took a split second for you to process everything but then you forced a smile on your face as quickly as you could.

“Yeah we’re done. We’re good.” You spoke as if nothing had happened. 

“K. I’ll let your dad know.” Sarah spoke to you. She turned around from the door and made her way back into the kitchen. 

Joels head turned back to your direction but you kept staring at the door trying to avoid his looks. You swallowed back the damage and pulled yourself together. 

He’s not gonna see me upset. He’s not gonna do that to me.

You calmed yourself down the quickest you’ve ever done and turned back to look at Joel. You met his stare and gave him a simple smile that you hoped would mask every other emotion you were feeling. 

“‘Go in the house with a smile?’ Really?” You looked at him with a trace of treason, like you couldn’t believe he had said that to you. Your words were low and emotionless. You wanted this to be over. “We’re done..right? The uhm- the conversations..done?” 

Keep it together. It’s fine. Keep it together.

Joel saw right past your feeble attempt at pretending to be ok. His head tipped to the side, his eyebrows raised a little, and that look that you despised was back. His mouth was tight and he didn’t say a word.

K. There’s my answer.

“We should go..before it gets any later.” You walked past Joel, around the truck and made your way back inside with a smile that you hoped was a lot better than the one you gave Joel. 

You helped them quickly clean up while Joel started the car and before you knew it, everyone was taking their designated spots in his truck. Your dad sat next to Joel in the passenger seat and reclined it as far as he was able to. Sarah sat behind your dad with her legs crossed on the seat and that left you to sit behind Joel, with an agonized attitude. 

About an hour had passed and you hadn’t said much, you didn’t feel like saying much. Some country station was filling up the muted silence in the air and the smell of grass was infiltrating the truck from outside. The sun was hot and you stared out of the window while the wind wrestled with your hair. Joel was driving down a two way street and when you peeked out the front, you saw no end to the road. You leaned back into your seat and closed your eyes but the silence between everyone was irking you. You weren’t really bothered because it was quiet, you were bothered because Joel had hurt you and you wanted to externalize your anger. You looked at Sarah’s head bounce against the window while she slept and you saw your dads sweater draped over his face, trying to cover all the light. You couldn’t do anything but think. 

Maybe I made it a big deal and it wasn’t that big of a deal. Maybe.. it is reasonable that he’d want to think about it? But it doesn’t make sense. Why would he tell me he enjoyed it, say those things to me, but then shut it down right after. And why- no, the flirting is what doesn’t make sense. He was flirting. And then he just brings up his doubts out of the blue? Makes no fucking sense. If anything, I’m the one who should tell him I need to think about it. Yeah. Mixed signals and shit. He should be the one stressing out right now, not me. I could accidentally say something or- ohymgod. Stop, holy- shit stop. Maybe this is why he wanted to think about it. Does he think I can’t handle it? Does he think I can’t think straight? No. Bullshit. I can think straight, he’s the one making this weird. I can handle this. Whatever, I don’t know. Maybe..maybe he’s just- god. I don’t even know. Think about what Joel, what's there to think about. 

From the time you had that conversation with Joel in your driveway to now, your feelings have developed. You weren’t at the stage of hurt and embarrassment anymore, now you felt angry, annoyed, betrayed. Truly you didn’t understand why he wanted to think about it so much or what he was even thinking of. If he was weighing out pros and cons, you could do the same. If he was trying to figure out if you were worth the sneaking around, you could do the same. You had just as much to lose as he did but you didn’t feel like that was enough to keep you away from something that felt right. You enjoyed him. All of him. You’d began to view Joel differently. Not just physically, but character wise. You noticed how kind, compassionate, and considerate he was. You noticed how he washed his dishes when he was a guest in someone’s home. How he got politely upset when someone tried to pay a bill before he could. How he was more than willing to drive Sarah a couple hours to a different town just for a soccer game. He took care of the people he loved and he wanted to always make sure they felt cared for and respected. 

Your heart began to soften. Your mind thought back to all the different memories you had of Joel. You gained a completely new perspective of them and started to slightly understand what he might mean by ‘I need to think about this.’ Yeah you had things to lose if shit went south, but he had more at stake. You and your dad were the only family that Joel had here. Tommy came and went but he never stuck around long enough and your dad was as much a brother to Joel than Tommy was. Not only that, but his daughter would lose her bestfriend. She wouldn’t have you to confide in. She also wouldn’t feel the same about her dad.

Shit. He’s risking a lot. 

You began to feel selfish. You didn’t think this was as serious as you did now. Now you understood. You truly felt like a little girl now that you thought back to how you reacted. 

I was so fucking selfish. Ohmygod. Jesus christ Joel, I'm sorry. My god, I'm so sorry. 

You really did start to feel embarrassed. You usually were good at analyzing situations even when your own emotions came into play but maybe this time it was different. Maybe this time you honestly had no clue what you were doing and you needed to think things through very carefully, run through every option and come up with a plan. 

You started to doze off to the sounds of the radio and the wind rushing by. The warm air stroked your hair and calmed your thoughts while the two way road bled into a little secluded town in the middle of nowhere. There was a gas station that Joel was headed towards. Everyone was asleep, you were dozing off. He pulled up to the side of the road to drive into the lot and he accidentally ran over the curb. Sarah’s head hit the window a little too hard and the swaying of the truck woke you and your dad up. 

“Oh..sorry ‘bout that.” Joel said flatly from behind the wheel, but he didn’t look over at anyone, nor did he look sorry about it. It probably woke him up as much as it did you. 

He pulled up to a pump with a worn down, peeled off number on it and turned off the car. Your dad grunted as he sat up and said something about looking for a bathroom. Sarah asked around if anyone wanted any snacks before she went into the store and bought some things for the rest of the ride. It was just you and Joel left in the truck.

Joel was inserting his credit card into the little slot below the screen and pressed some buttons. The loud beeping sounds responded after every push Joel gave them. You watched him. You felt sorry for the way you reacted and wanted to say something. You felt like a dog walking back to its owner with its tail between its legs. His shoulders were pulling at the fabric of his shirt and the hair falling on his neck curled up and swayed with the wind for a while. Your window was down and he was close to you, the gusts of wind flowed in your direction and you could smell his cologne from where you were. The sun touched his exposed skin and you looked at how lively his skin received the warmth. You felt uneasy when you tried to speak up, you weren’t used to apologizing first in arguments but with him it felt different, it felt like the mature thing to do. 

You unbuckled your seatbelt and scooted up towards your window. You placed your arms flatly along the slit where the glass was supposed to be and rested your head on your arms. His back was to you and you tried to soften the atmosphere with a smile. 

“Hey.” This time you spoke first. He turned his head and looked at your smile. You saw his face pull up into a small grin just before he turned his attention back onto the screen. 

“Hey.” He grabbed the gas pump and put it into the car. His body was now facing your direction and he was staring at you, waiting for you to say something else. Your eyes sparkled and you couldn’t help but admire him even though you were still a little hurt. He was beautiful and looking at him made you feel anxious with ease. It was weird that he had this effect on you, he relaxed your body into a steady state but also kindled you and made you feen for his attention.   

“Uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about what you said and I just..sorta, attacked you.” 

“Sorta?” His voice was deep and the smoothness of it tickled your heart for a moment. Hearing him speak always did that to you. His grin became a smile and you could tell in that moment he fully forgave you. Truthfully, he wasn’t even expecting an apology. He wasn’t ever upset at you, he understood why you reacted the way you did, but he let you apologize anyway. He had a feeling the words were more for you than they were for him. 

“Ok relax. I don’t apologize alright I’m just- I’m trying to be mature about this whole thing. I overreacted a little and I wasn’t thinking about Sarah and my dad and all of that. I’m sorry.” 

Joel’s hand gripped the pump and shook it to get the last drops of gas out of it. He put it right back in its place and opened your car door. You adjusted yourself and sat with your feet dangling outside and your hands resting on your lap. Joel’s arms were stretched out on either side of him. One hand was holding the door open and the other hand was holding onto the frame of the car.  

“This is your first time apologizing for…anything?” He was overlooking the apology. 

This is hard for me as it is man just..pay attention. 

“Mm no..I’ve apologized for other things but I never..I’m- I don’t do..this.” You were squirming. You felt uncomfortable and you could see he was enjoying it. His smile turned into a smirk and he blinked as he watched you get the words out. 

“So you’re sayin’ I’m your first?” 

You blushed. 

Jesus christ. Asshole. 

Now you were embarrassed. 

How is he thinking about that right now. I’m swallowing my pride and getting made fun of. 

“Joel. Please. I’m serious.” You giggled between words and tried to laugh the embarrassment away. 

“Nah I know baby I’m jus’ messin’ with you. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’ have jus’ sprung that on you..” You looked down into your lap and played with your fingers while he kept talking “..we can talk about it if you’d like.” 

You looked up into his gaze and gave him a soft look. 

“Yeah. Yeah I think that’s a good idea.” 

You felt more relaxed. Your mind wasn’t drawing up wrong conclusions and you were able to feel settled. 

“Good.” There was a pause after he said that. Joel looked at the door where your dad and Sarah were supposed to be coming out of but there was no sign of them anywhere. You followed his movements and looked at the doors. Nothing. You both looked at eachother and he gave you a sincere look then started to speak again. “How’s the trip so far?”

You relaxed into the seat and responded with a beam.

“Oh, so interesting. So far I’ve seen the back of your neck, your wrist, a rabbit in a field somewhere, and the gas station of a town in the middle of nowhere.” Your satirical comments made Joel drop his head with a breath and you saw him suppress a laugh. He straightened his lips into a kind smile and looked back up at you. 

“You think sarcasm’s funny?” 

“You thought it was funny.” 

“No I didn’t.” 

“But you laughed.”

“No I didn’t.” 

“But I just saw you laugh.”

“Yeahhhh, but I didn’t laugh.” 

Your brows furrowed and you gave him a false frown. 

“You’re a buzz kill y’know.” Your words were meant to come out a lot more serious but you couldn’t help but grin when you spoke. 

“That’s funny cause I think I'm a pretty fun guy.” 

“So you’re self-centered is what you’re saying.” 

Joel smiled. He liked banter with you. You made it easy and he liked that you weren’t intimidated by it.

“I just know I’m funny. Tha’s all I’m sayin’.” 

“Mhmm.” Your conversation ended there. You heard the distant ring of a bell when the door from the gas station store opened and you saw your dad and Sarah walking back into the truck. Joel motioned for you to sit back properly in your seat and he closed the door. He got into the drivers seat just as your dad and Sarah made their way into the car. Sarah was talking and giggling and your dad looked awkward. Not in the way where he was annoyed but in the way where he wanted Sarah to stop talking. 

“No man, honestly, I think you should’ve said yes.” Sarah’s voice overpowered the radio as Joel turned the truck back on. 

“Yes to what?” Joel questioned. 

“A lady in there was going crazy over him.” 

Your dads ears were a light red color and he was putting the sweater over his face again trying to hide away. He slipped into the passenger seat and layed down.

“She was not, Sarah. That’s not what happened.” Your dad muffled from below the cotton piece and Joel bit his smile away as he drove onto the street. 

“It’s exactly what happened. She asked if I was your kid and she asked if you were visiting. I've nevah seen ya beforeee, are ya new in town? I could show you arounddd if you’d like.” Sarah mocked her thick Texas accent with a laugh.

“That doesn’t mean she was askin’ if I’m single.”

“Say what you want but she was looking for a ring.”

“Daddddd.” “Woooww.” You and Joel teased him at the same time. 

“Okayyyy okay alright. Enoughh. Imma jus’ go back to sleep. Wake me up when we’re there.” 

“Yeah alright, don’t think about her too much though. We can’t have you broken hearted this weekend.” Sarah liked to tease anyone she could. It was part of her personality, much like her dads.

You and Joel let out a low laugh when your dad grunted from under the sweater. You looked at Joel through the rearview mirror and his eyes almost instantly connected with yours. There was no other way to describe how you felt besides peace. It was a complete infatuated, admiration, longing sense of peace that you felt in that moment where you all shared a laugh and you and Joel stole glances at eachother. Time actually stopped for a couple of seconds. He smiled at you and his eyes had a glimmer in them. It very well could’ve been the sun reflecting off of the dashboard but you had a feeling it wasn’t. 

The next couple of hours you fell in and out of sleep. The wind was cooler now that it was later in the day and you were getting closer to the coast. Sarah was scrolling on her phone and your dad had his eyes closed while the wind abated his nausea. You were awake but your eyes were closed and you leaned your head against the headrest behind you. 

“We’re almos’ there guys, hold on for a couple of minutes alrigh’?” Joel said. You looked out of the front window and saw glimpses of a body of water between the large trunks of trees. The leaves and branches were moving side to side and they made the atmosphere feel more welcoming. The air was fresher and a lot thinner than it was in the city. It smelled of coal and beef. Someones grilling nearby. It was 5 in the afternoon when Joel pulled into the driveway of the house and he finally turned off the truck. 

You opened the car door and stood on your feet, everyone else did the same. You all walked to the trunk of the car and grabbed the bags that belonged to you while your dad went ahead of everyone and unlocked the house. You walked up the front steps and looked around the porch before walking into the house. You hadn’t been here in months but it was like you were here a couple days ago. You remembered grilling outside, reading books by the pool, kicking the ball around with Sarah, and playing with one of the kids that lived a couple houses down the road. 

When you went inside, everyone silently made their way up the stairs and claimed a room to sleep in. You chose the room you always did, the one that was at the end of the hall and in the corner of the house. It had a huge window that overlooked the backyard and the lake for a mile. You felt exhausted and you knew everyone else did too since no one said a word when you arrived. It was Friday afternoon and you didn’t feel like staying in your room. You wanted to go out and do something because you were stuck in a car all day and you can’t remember the last time when you were this bored. You took a quick shower and changed into your navy panties with some clean shorts and a clean shirt before heading back downstairs. In the living room, the golden sun beamed through the glass doors and it made the house feel warm. Joel was sitting around the old wooden dining table next to a window and Sarah was laid on the couch watching a movie. Your dad was nowhere to be seen.

Must be in bed. Can’t blame him, that's a crazy hangover. 

You walked over to Joel and sat across from him. He had a glass of scotch in one hand and an old newspaper in the other.

“Didn’t know we still got newspapers here.” Your words broke the silence. You looked at the bold heading on the withered piece of paper and scrunched your nose at the words. Carnival Couple Arrested for Public Indecency. 

Oh I remember this, it was a couple of years ago.

Joel finished off the last ounce of scotch before closing the paper and putting it aside. 

“I think i’s an old one. Can’t remember the last time I sat down n read a paper.” He leaned back into the chair and dropped his hands on his lap below the table. His stare was deep. He was waiting for you to say something else. 

“I'm bored. Can we go out or something?”

“I was actually gettin’ hungry. Your dad said he was gonna knock out pretty early cause of the headache but we can go shoppin’ n get some things for the weekend if you want. You won’t be bored after that.”

“Yeah sounds good. Sarah, you wanna go with us?” You raised your voice a bit, enough for it to reach the living room but there was no response. You got up off of your chair and walked into the living room. Sarah was still in the position she had been in earlier but this time she had one arm over her stomach and the other was dangling off of the sofa. She was asleep. You made your way back to the dining table and stopped right in front of Joel. His chair was openly angled towards you this time and his legs were slightly spread open. His right elbow was resting on the table next to him and his hand took the form of a fist that he used to support his head.

Ohmy..god. Fuck he looks good.

You looked him up and down and focused on the space between his thighs. Your eyes made their way up to his stomach and then to his collar bones that were left exposed by the unbuttoned shirt at the top. His eyes looked a little drowsier than normal but he was still very awake. 

“Uhm- Sarah’s asleep.” You felt yourself blush. Towering over him and looking down to meet his gaze made you feel even more nervous than you ever have around him. It was a different power dynamic and your stomach flipped at the unfamiliar territory. His eyes widened at the news and a smile formed on his lips.

“..Really?” His voice was quiet. He slowly leaned forward and tilted his head up to look directly at you. You didn’t answer, you were frozen. You could tell he had something on his mind but you were more keen on figuring out where you both stood regarding your earlier conversation.

“Yeah..maybe you and I should just go buy some things. She looks tired, I wouldn’t wanna wake her.” You tried to ignore the need in his eyes but the ache between your legs made it difficult. You took a step back to give him some space and looked towards the living room. 

Joel let out a breath of defeat and stood up.

“Alright. Sounds good. Come on, we could walk there.”

“Walk?”

“Yeah, you know, like people used to do before cars n horses?”

He’s not funny. You told yourself to try and keep from laughing. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“I know how they got around. How are we meant to walk all the way back here with all the things we bought?” You smiled, you couldn’t help it. He was corny and cliché and predictable with his responses but you did think he was a little funny even though you’d never admit it. 

“Right, ok..well-”

“I’ll drive.” You took the keys from the counter and started for the front door. You made your way to his car and turned it on like he’s done thousands of times. Joel followed up behind you and took longer strides to try and keep up. 

“Please don’t crash.”

You both buckled up and you started to turn into the road.

“You wouldn’t even be able to tell if I scratched something. You need a new car.”

“I do not. This one works fine.” You kept going straight down the road until you saw a dock that indicated to you the store was close. 

“Mhm. Whatever. Look, there's the dock.” You nodded with your head and Joel turned around to look at it.

“What about it?”

“That’s how I know the stores close by.” Your tone was totally serious and there wasn’t a hint of humor in it. You kept your eyes on the pavement but you saw Joel turn his head to look at you.

“What? You don’t know the names of the streets?” He genuinely sounded shocked. Your eyebrows lifted in surprise and you laughed at how obscene the question was.

“Why would I know that?”

Joel stared at you blankly and squinted to try and tell if you were lying. You weren’t.

“Jesus Chris’, nevermind. Anyway, listen, I think we should talk about what I said.”

The tone of his voice fell into a more serious and genuine one and the air felt more thick and dangerous. You were nervous. You felt like you should’ve been more calm considering you knew what was coming but you were still nervous. You didn’t know what he would say. 

“Yeah I think we should.” You pulled into the parking lot of the store and found a spot that looked out to the lake. Joel unbuckled himself and turned his body towards you, you did the same. 

“I’m sorry I sprung that on you like that. I said I wanted to take some time to think about everythin’ n process it but I kept teasin’ you n I shouldn’ve done that. I did mean it when I said I enjoyed that night but I had to think about what your dad might say or- or Sarah you know, if they found out, n I jus’ got..I felt- it was intimidatin’. I’m sorry.”

You stared at him. You understood his fear. His eyes were soft and they were pleading you to understand where he was coming from.

“I get it.”

“You get it?”

“Yeah. I know it was a pretty impulsive decision and I understand that we’re risking things but, Joel I don’t- I mean, I’m not gonna go screaming that we fucked. I can keep a secret, and if we’re careful about..doing what we do then..I think we’ll be ok.”

“Yeah..” he let out a long sigh “..yeah I think you’re right.” His face relaxed and his chest dropped with the exhale of his breath.  

“Yeah. And I’ve thought about it too you know..what my dad might say or Sarah if they find out..” You looked down to your lap. You played with your fingers and toyed with the folds of your shorts. You felt good admitting to him that you also had these thoughts but you didn’t ever think about them too much, you didn’t want to think that them finding out was ever a possibility. Truthfully you had no idea what they might say if they ever found out, but you didn’t tell Joel this. “..but they won’t. It’s ok. We’ll just..be selective..about it.”

Joel looked down and let out a small laugh at your word choice. He rubbed a hand over his face and smiled at the floor. You felt more relieved now that you had cleared the air and were on common ground. 

“Well, but I don’ wanna be selective about it.” Your eyes met his and he had that same depth in his eyes from before. There was a hunger and primal need to them that instantly made you weak. Your breathing picked up and you could feel your heart beat out of your body. Joel scooted closer to the edge of his seat and reached his arm around to cup your cheek. Your face melted into his hand and your body instantly responded to his touch. You felt hot. The air became thicker than it was and you were pretty sure you were soaked through your underwear. Joels thumb brushed the bottom of your lips before he parted them with his finger. His thumb glided along the top of your teeth and your mouth was opened before he even said anything. 

Joels smirk made your heart shiver and you tilted your head down before inching forward to take his thumb in your mouth. You wrapped your lips around the base of his finger and sucked it in a little while he slowly pulled it out of you. He watched you with an intense need and mumbled something under his breath. You didn’t take your eyes off of his. Your tongue swirled around the tip of his finger until he fully took it out of your mouth and rubbed small circles on your bottom lip. You were wet, you knew you were and your ache grew every second.

“I haven’t fucked you yet.” His eyes moved down to your lips but you kept staring at him. You were quiet. You blinked and waited for him to continue. “You said that you weren’t gonna go screaming that we fucked..but we haven’t.” 

You rolled your eyes at his wit and smiled. You moved backwards and rested your back on the door while you took off your sandals and put your legs on his lap. You didn’t say anything yet, you just took him in. He looked down to your thighs and you looked down to his chest. The little exposed area from his shirt made your pussy pulse. You thought about bracing yourself on him as you rode his cock up and down, making him groan. You could tell he was thinking about something also, you could feel the rise under his jeans. You looked down to the zipper of his pants and now you felt needy. You wanted to suck his dick and have his hands pull on your hair. He didn’t let you do it last time but maybe now it would be different. You rubbed your foot over the zipper of his jeans and you felt him look up at you. Your eyes stayed on the growing bulge and you bit down on your lip. 

“You can fuck me right now if you want.” Your voice was innocent and seductive. Your head was tilted down and you looked at him through your lashes. 

“You want me to fuck you in this parking lot?” He questioned you but you could tell by the way that he said it that he was thinking about it. He liked the idea.

“Mhm..” you nodded slowly. Joel licked his teeth and sucked in a sharp breath when you applied some more pressure. “I want people to see how wet you make me.”

Joel looked up at you. Now he saw the want in your eyes. He saw how desperately you were looking at him and he knew how much you wanted to have him inside of you. He had a dangerous smirk on his face and if he didn’t enjoy making you wait, he would fuck you with all the windows down for anyone to hear your screams. Joel grabbed your ankles and you stopped moving them. He opened your feet and set them apart on the center console of the truck. His touch was electrifying and you stared at him from between your legs.

“Take your shorts off” Your eyes didn’t leave his as you stripped down into your underwear. You kicked off your shorts and tossed them below the glovebox. Joel stared at the wet spot on your underwear and he licked his lips at the sight. 

“You’re already wet for me?” He teased you. He liked teasing you. “Fuck baby..” His voice was barely above a whisper and he leaned back on his door, much farther than you wanted him. “..touch yourself for me.” He commanded you in a way that wasn’t rough but somehow it came out more controlling than he meant it. 

You put your fingers above the wet spot on your underwear and applied pressure before you started to rub yourself slowly.

“Oh- mmm Joel it- it feels good.” You let out slow breathes as low moans escaped your throat. 

“Yeah princess? You like touching yourself?” Joels breath picked up a little bit but he didn’t move. His attention was split between watching your fingers make circles and the expressions on your face. “Fuck- go a little faster baby.”

You rubbed faster and felt a little coil in your lower stomach. Your head pushed against the window and your chest rose with the feeling of your orgasm began to build.

“My dirty girl, fuck baby. You want people to see you finger yourself?”

Your head nodded against the glass. His words made you feel warmer and you felt your pussy get wetter at the sensations. Your breathing was starting to pick up and your moans came out a little louder. You moved your underwear aside and your fingers looked for the entrance between your slit.

“Uh uh. Not yet. Keep rubbing yourself.” His hands moved to his zipper but he didn’t do anything, he just kept them there. You lifted your head off of the glass to look at him and you stopped touching yourself to make sure you heard him right.

“What?”

He smirked. Joel shifted in his seat and he let out a quiet groan. The denim rubbed against his straining cock and you looked down to the fully grown bulge begging to be let out. 

Oh. OH. He likes this.

“Above your underwear baby. Keep rubbing yourself.” Your pussy throbbed faster when it all clicked.

“Do you want me to.. ask you permission.. to finger myself?” His eyes glimmered. 

He does. 

Joel didn’t say anything but the way his pupils dilated gave him away.

“Just imagine they’re my fingers, ok princess? Just ‘till I say so.”

Your pussy got wetter and you did what he said. You wanted him to be pleased with you. You wanted him to know that you would do whatever he said just to show him how well you could take orders. Your fingers slipped out from your slit and they went back to the top of your soaked panties. You rubbed yourself harder and faster, trying to build your orgasm back up. He stared at you for a couple minutes, directing your speed and pressing down above his jeans. Your stomach tightened with every passing second and your breaths came out as whimpers. You were close.

“Joel pl- please, please let me, fu-ohmyg- fuck please let me finger myself. Please..” Your breathing was heavy and you could barely form proper sentences, you needed to feel something inside of you. You were begging and you were desperate. You felt so empty and you had a feeling he wasn’t going to fuck you so your fingers had to be the next best thing. 

“Mhm. Just one finger baby.”

You were frantic with need. Your hand quickly reached down to the same place as before and easily slipped inside. 

“Oh- Fuck..Joel I- it feels so good.” You moved your finger in and out of yourself, slowly at first but then you quickly increased the pace. The sounds of your wetness filled the air and you looked into Joels eyes, trying to get some type of approval.

“Your pussy looks so perfect baby. Keep fucking yourself, just like that.”

You felt a fire burn in your stomach and your muscles were searching for that push to release. Your eyes stayed on Joel. He studied the way you curled your finger up into yourself and how you rubbed your clit with the palm of your hand. For a second, his eyes left your body and they started to track something else. They looked behind you and you saw him grow a mischievous smirk below his mustache. 

“There’s a man.. walking to his car..” Joel spoke softly, like the man could hear him. You smiled. You never thought about it before but the chance that you could get caught tuned you on. Seeing how much Joel enjoyed it also made you that much closer to cumming on your finger. “..You could get caught right now baby. How does that make you feel?”

Joel looked at you for a response.

“So fucking- good Joel, it makes me feel so good.” You couldn’t focus on anything but your finger.

“Yeah? Being a dirty little slut who wants to get caught fucking herself? Shit baby you’re-”

“Joel please can I- can I use another finger. Please.”

Joel looked down to your hand and he leaned forward. He wrapped a hand around one of your ankles and another hand around your wrist. 

“Stop.” His word was slow. He took his time saying it and he slowed your hand with his grip. You pulled your finger out of yourself and slowly rubbed your slit up and down. You whimpered at the feeling of emptiness again and your stomach dropped at the loss of tension.

You stared at Joel, waiting for him to say something or at least look at you. His hand slightly lessened the grip on your wrist and he brought your hand up to your mouth. 

“Taste yourself baby. Tell me how you taste.” You saw the excitement in Joels eyes. He looked like a little kid who’d just seen a puppy. His smile was devilish and his eyes were dark. You opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out to fully take your finger in. You moaned at the taste and your pussy throbbed with the feeling of his stare. 

“Do you like it?”

 You smiled. Who would’ve thought Joel Miller was this fucking dirty. You nodded as a response and gave him a seductive whine. Joel looked behind you and his eyes stayed on the man sitting in the drivers seat on his phone. 

“Tell me what you taste like, baby.” Joel let go of your hand and he brought his thumb over your clit and rubbed. Your mouth parted at the pressure and a moan escaped your lips. 

“Fuck- Joel- Go faster.” You used up every last breath of air to get your words out.

“Tell me what you taste like.” 

“I uhm- sweet.” Your breaths were closer to pants.

“And what else..” His voice was dark and excited.

“And- go- Joel please go faster.” 

“Keep talkin��� princess. Keep talkin’ n I’ll go faster.”

Joel moved his fingers down your aching pussy and toyed with your entrance. Your hips rocked forward to try and get some relief but you couldn’t.

“Keep movin’ the car and that man’s gonna see you.”

“I don’t care. I- fu- Joel. I don’t care please just..” you were breathless.

“What baby. What, tell me what you need”

You arched your back and let out a small whimper. You couldn’t take it anymore. Your greed blinded you and the only thing you could think about was getting his fingers in you. You rocked your hips more into his hand and the car slowly moved from side to side. You couldn’t take the teasing anymore. 

“Shit- you want it that bad princess? You want that man to come over here and see what a mess you are..how you're begging me to finger you where anyone can see you?” Joels voice was the only thing that disrupted your thoughts. “God you’re fucking soaked for me.”

“Joel please. I need your fingers- god, my pussy needs your fingers in me. Please make me cum I- I need you to make me cum.”

Joel slipped two fingers inside your pussy and you throbbed around him. Your hips recreated circles on his leather seat and your moans turned into cries of bliss. 

“You’re so fucking sexy when you beg for me baby. I like to feel how hot..” His fingers glided in and out of you “.. wet..” he moved them faster “..and throbbing you get for me princess.”

“Joel- I’m.. so close. Don’t stop..” Your hips rolled faster and the truck quietly creaked under you. Joel groaned under his breath and he lowered his head above your clit. He pouted his lips above you and he let a web of saliva drip onto your already soaked pussy. His thumb rubbed his spit all over your clit and it dripped down into your entrance. Joel took his fingers out of you and grabbed some of his saliva with his fingers then inserted them back into you. You watched him concentrate on your pussy and the tightness in your pelvis became unbearable. You let out a moan and leaned your head back into the window.  

 “Fuck- I don’t care if- ohmygod- if anyone sees Joel. I- I don’t care if they hear me or- holy shit.. or if they catch us just..please. Please let me cum Joel I can’t do it anymore. Please”

You were barely able to think straight. You were desperate to find your release and your pussy tightened around Joels fingers. He kept his face above your pussy and you felt his warm breath tickle your clit. He lightly licked between your folds and soaked up all the sweetness he could find. 

“Fuck baby..that feel good? You wanna cum for me? On my fingers in the parking lot princess?”

You bit your lip. You nodded your head again in ecstacy and suppressed your cries as best as you could. Your heart was heavy in your chest and your legs were trembling from the tension.

“Say it.” Joel demanded from between your legs. His fingers curled higher inside of you and they coerced you into begging for your release. His tongue stroked your clit and it took everything in you to get your last words out. 

“Pl- Please Joel let me- ohh fuck.. Please let me cum.” One of your hands braced itself on the roof of the truck and the other weaved its way between Joels hair. You thrusted your hips up into his mouth and his fingers pulled in and out of you.

“You did good for me. You did so fucking good for me my.. slutty little princess. Fuck you look- so fucking pretty. Cum on my fingers baby. Let me feel you cum on them.” 

His permission did more than enough for you. Your hand pushed hard against the ceiling and your pussy tightened around his fingers. Your head went limp and chest was rising heavily. 

“Fuck fuck Joel- fuck ohmygod.”

His fingers slowed down and stayed in your pussy while you rode out your high.

“God baby you’re gorgeous.”

Your hand fell from the ceiling and you gasped for any air that you could. Your ears were ringing and your leg wrapped around his back trying to bring him as close to you as you could. Joel took his fingers out of you and gently placed a kiss where they used to be. His tongue licked between your folds and he took any mess your pussy let out. He was starving and you could tell he wanted more. While he cleaned you up with his tongue you found your voice and told him what you wanted.

“Joel please let me suck your dick.” There was a different type of desperation in your voice and you wanted to see him come undone. You wanted to hear him beg the way you did and you wanted him to lose all control that he had. 

His eyes met yours from between your thighs and he smiled between his act. He looked back down to your pussy and finished what he was doing. Joel sat back up and cleaned himself before he spoke.

“Get dressed baby, we gotta go.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

“Joel..” He looked at you. “..please.” You leaned forward and inched closer to him. You planted a kiss in the corner of his lips and moved to the side of his face. You kissed the side of his cheek and your body heat made Joel expose his neck more to you. You hovered your lips over his ear and whispered. 

“I wanna feel your cock in me. Please.”

You heard Joel grumble below his breath and his forehead rested on your shoulder for a second before he whispered in your ear.

“Take your panties off and put your shorts on.”

You were confused. You didn’t fully understand but again, you did whatever he asked you to. You wanted him to know you did what you were told and you were hoping this somehow meant you would finally be able to at least get a glimpse of his dick. You leaned back into your seat and took your panties off. The cotton that padded your pussy was darker and wet with your essence and you handed them to him by the string. He took them from your hands and rolled them up into a little ball. Joel pocketed your underwear in his back pocket and he watched you get dressed. You both got out of the car and met behind the trunk as you began to walk towards the store.  

“That was my favorite pair.” Your arm brushed alongside his and you looked up to see him smiling.

“They’re my favorite pair too.” 

Your lower stomach flipped at the comment and you couldn’t help but blush under the sunset. 

“Im serious Joel..” you lowered your voice “..when can I suck your cock.” You looked up at him with innocent eyes, like you weren’t walking around with your panties in his pocket, like he didn’t just finger your pussy with people around. Your look was totally pure and there was a filthy undertone that only Joel would be able to recognize. 

“Soon baby. Don’t worry.” 

Joel fought the urge to wrap his arm around you and instead, he rested it on your lower back. You both walked into the store and headed for two completely different directions. He went to the dairy section for eggs, milk, and yogurt. You went to the bread section for your dads favorite cereal and bagels for you and Sarah. 

[mg549]

tagged by @graveyardrabbit 👍!

last song: mama by mcr <3

currently watching: nothing 😔✊idk its hard to get me to watch tv shows. oh i did jst remember like 2 years ago or sth i started watching Every X-Files Ever with a big excel sheet of all my opinions and shit. but its been hard to get thru bc the later seasons have not been very enjoyable and also ive been Busy with work n putting out consistent art n shit that its hard to justify sitting down and not doing anything for that long ig. ive also slowly been getting thru various slasher franchises&watching iconic horror movies since i love horror but havent watched a lot of the movies, &its easier for me to get thru an hour and a half of sth Complete than 45 mins of a Part of a larger story. the original scream is def the cream of the crop of what ive seen so far, meanwhile i watched the first saw last night and it was incredibly stupid and frustrating to watch. 9/11 rly took its toll on media

currently reading: 😶 even harder than videos bc i absolutely cannot multitask while reading. recently finished frankenstein (which i started literally almost 3 years prior (its not that long or difficult i jst struggle to justify spending time on things that i dont consider “work” in my brain) (also it was p good but you could literally cut out the second part and the story would benefit imo it jst rly slogs down the pace and axes any tension for a lot of details that could be conveyed much quicker if they were explained in less detail)) and the communist manifesto (didnt take nearly as long bc its like pamphlet length gbdkjd) edit everyone go read izroulia actually a new series came out today&i haven't been able to read it yet but its been keeping me going fr i love how earnest it is in being itself its such a good piece of safe media for me if that makes sense

current obsession: ughhhhhhhhh ive been in between obsessions for a lil bit i feel like. idk this is sth i struggle w/ bc the last thing i felt fully like Enveloped in was the adventure zone (orig. arc) which ended. 5 years ago. lemon demon&lemonville came shortly after but it was hard to feel it was on the same scale bc it was actively in creation as i was there and associated #Drama also lessened its grip faster than it would’ve had it been like an existing show or sth. plus theres less ppl obvs. had a brief good omens phase but it burned out pretty quick bc i had so thoroughly dissected it very quickly. &since then ive kind of jst been cycling between existing interests (monster high/fashion dolls in general, mercreatures, creepypasta/slenderman/horror in general) plus the occasional mcr blast but it doesnt quite Grip the same bc there arent like Characters i can rotate. the best ive gotten is obsessing over my own ocverses but its not the same.... idk i rly rly Want to feel the Passion that fandom brings but none of the media thats blown up interests me enough to consider consuming the media or i take a peak&dont like it cause im picky...idk my fundamental problem is that im picky and hard to please bc i can deconstruct things so easily to see its Bones and if a story is more surface level and straightforward and easy to understand its hard for me to keep my attention on it at the stage of my life im in. that being said aquamarine is my fave movie tho so. but then again i think ppl jst write it off cause its a chick flick. idk recommend me things but dont be surprised if its not my vibe ig

ummmmmmmmmmm idk who to tag u can do this if u want to&say i tagged u but i think i was kinda a bummer w/ these answers so 😔✊

[lizdaoot]

Where I've been/what happened/dead channel/L/ratio/no videos?/It is almost midnight I should be asleep but need to get this off my chest already

Idk why I feel the need to make this because at this point I'm pretty sure there are no people waiting for a new video but. I have had a lot of things go on and really did not want my channel to turn into the graveyard that it is.

Long story short over the last couple I have made several projects. Like a boatload, and out of all of them only one ever ended up a finished video. I currently have about 10 or so videos, ranging from guides to essays, stuck in production anywhere between a script rundown and early editing. So the question is, why haven't I finished any of them?

Well the reason isn't very simple but I'll try to be brief about it.

I tend to work in bursts of motivation and it is something I'm trying to fix. I tend to only work on a video when I feel it quite literally can't get out of my mind, and that is not what I want, I want to feel like I can choose when I make videos, and which videos I make. This partly means that I am planning to get back to some of these projects, especially ones I already publicly promised(even if those promises are now years old)

College. New city. New living space. New school curriculum and MAN it is not fucking easy here. I have barely been able to find time to study and rest and sadly doing an active hobby like video making is very tough in an environment like this, especially since I now have to record audio in a public residence closet which feels. Very uncomfortable. And audio recording was the step I was already procrastinating on the most.

My work ethic has never really been good. Even before videos would take months simply because I... didn't know how to get myself to start. Even when a video WAS the only thing I could think about, I would still spend several days doing close to nothing before I felt shit enough to actually get myself to work, and that sort of mindset is not something that I want to keep up. I feel happy when I make videos, but I also don't want to feel unhappy when I don't, especially when I have about 3 free hours a day and choosing to spend that time resting is more reasonable than ever.

I know very few people that actually follow my Tumblr even know I make videos and vice versa, but my channel is something I love and something I want to work on more. I know I don't need excuses to not work on a hobby, but I want this to be out there for anyone wondering if I will make anything again.

I will, a lot of things, a lot of things i promised. It will just take time, and I hope you all can be more patient than I am.

[deeisace]

Written at about 2am and then not posted, kept cs it's sleep-deprived stream-of-consciousness weirdness

---

Aw man I should not have stayed up to watch Deadloch

It is fuckin insane tho

And I'm having Thoughts that need to be Solved by Ao3

And also I have to leave for work in. 4 hours.

And also I really need the loo again but I'm scared of waking up the guy downstairs

The uh the plan is. To leave a bit earlier for work. And then go at the train station. Is the plan. :/

It's a bad plan and I acknowledge that. But it's where we're at today huh

(6am edit: you'll be pleased to know "the plan" did not go ahead, I have been brave enough to use my own goddamn lavatory. Fuckin insane behaviour)

I'm gonna need so many energy drinks to get through tomorrow. But at least I can go the loo at work I guess.

I'm fully aware I've constructed a bonkers situation for myself. Or like. Built my own on the guy downstairs' bonkersness. At least I'm aware of it?

Anyway I'm gonna uhhhhh go to Ao3 now. And suffer for a few more hours. Y'know. And not move an inch cs my bed is really creaky cs it's fuckin broken cs the one fella came to fix my window before I had a chair to stand on so he stood on my bed instead? Cs the windows are really fuckin high in this house

I miss sash windows. Like sometimes the rope inside will snap cs no-one's replaced it since at latest 1926, but at least you can still like reach to open the fuckers anyway, and all you need is a proppy uppy thing. I can't reach to open these windows without climbing on my bed/desk/toilet and there's no fuckin breeze comes through even you do get them open cs they're too high, and they're what's the word for cold drafty draugy fuckin english they don't work in winter either and they have wobbly handles but that's a good thing cs it's the only way I can reach enough to close them again

Anyway that should be okay soon cs they're getting replaced next month or when, but also that doesn't solve the problems I'm currently experiencing which is I'm not asleep and I really fuckin badly need a piss

I hope the fella downstairs only has a six-month contract an he fucks off after, cs even tho the windows are shitty and I live in one room I really fuckin love this house I don't want to move to another house

I've never lived in more than one room my own what do people do with space? Fill it with sofas, or something? Fuckin kitchen islands idk

I don't have the spends anyway like I could deffo go into my savings but I'd still have to work more and I don't want to do that I'm fuckin tired

I mean currently that is cs I've been awake for 21 hours apart from the standing up nod off on the train home, but that is not the point

Fuckin pay me more so I can be like alive and have a nice time and and and fuckin And at work they said if we got a certain amount of reviews this quarter then all the store staff would get a bonus each?

A few years ago it was just the management would, and then they changed it to say all staff, but the targets were still bullshit nonsense so no-one's ever got one, even our store manager who's got a funny little glass award on his desk for working at this company longer than I've been alive right, But! then they changed it to be an achievable thing, 100 reviews in 3 months and keep the average stars thing good, which we can do cs we've done it before it was a bonus thing but now it is, right

And then like two weeks ago, right when we were nearly got it like celebrating whooo ten left to get, the fuckers turned and said actually every single store in the area has to get the same thing for anyone to qualify for the bonus, which includes isle of mann which gets like one review every month or smth cs obviously reviews don't matter when you know the whole town and are just catching up with Joanie who's buying a new tarp or whatever, why would you ask Joanie to give you a review, it doesn't make sense, there's no point in it obviously, and it shouldn't effect anybody else on a whole different fuckin landmass. Explain to me the fuckin logic there. Fuckin head office fuckers

Give me the money you fuckin owe me for smiling at cunts as call me "darling" and misgender me to high fuckin heaven and back or I will find a new job

I mean. I won't, cs nowhere that's not fuckin dire as shit is hiring and also I don't know how to do business things myself and fuck going back to uni either

What's that post of I just want to have 17 hobbies or whatever like that

Or like. Make more shit and learn how to sell whatever fuckin weird shit I make

Also I miss the woods, cities are shit

Like phone reception is nice and you can buy more stuff I guess but everything is grey and shitty and I miss sitting in trees

I'll be better once I've slept at all I imagine, it's just when I'm tired I'm a grumpy fuck and I hate like all the stuff cs all the stuff is bullshit fuckin not really rat race or whatever you say cs my job is the lowest pressure you can get except when four different people want seven different pairs of shoes and there's a parcel needs getting and some fucker stops you on the stairs to ask inane questions about tent pegs and now you've forgotten a shoe you were sposed to get and actually now you're back with the non-waterproof kids shoes I asked for can I borrow some socks and what sandals would you recommend for Everest and one of the people who asked for leather boots has fully disappeared in a puff of smoke and will wander back from fuck-knows-where in five minutes while you're serving a family of ten at the till to demand why you didn't tell them you'd got the leather boots for them and actually I can feel my toes reaching the end of the boot I'm gonna need you to get me three sizes down from this and then I'll blame you for why I got blisters just from standing up somehow and there's an incredibly old man here to ask you to get some trousers down from the high shelf but the ASM's hidden the footstool again in a brand new place cs it's untidy to leave it where you can find it ever apparently and oh oh lovely some guy got bored waiting for the fitting room and is now trying tshirts on just stood around and someone's helpfully wrecked a display or two and half the sunglasses have been spirited out the door while you blinked and someone came to ask if a camping store sells pajamas and another twenty people have stormed out cs of the membership thing and and and

Tho tbf it's usually only like that at Xmas really, the rest of the time it's mostly dead

Well I'm gonna see if I can get 3 hours steep

[practically-an-x-man]

For the random asks. I know you're a traditional artist and draw mostly animals as far as I know. But do you think you'd ever draw something based off your fics? I'm not sure what but plenty of people design covers for their fanfics. Would you ever attempt small edits? Like maybe using photopea (free browser photoshop) or are you perfectly fine just sticking with traditional? /gen

oh interesting! let me think on this one...

So yes, you're right that I'm a traditional artist, and you're right that I mostly use animals as reference for my realism pieces. I've done a teeny tiny bit of digital art too (namely, I did a cool Venom wallpaper for my old laptop, and sadly I do not still have a picture unless I scroll wayyy down my Facebook or something) but overall I find traditional art more comfortable

I've drawn my fair share of fanart too (hell, my banner is fanart, and in terms of original compositions I've done a few tattoo designs and at least one Good Omens piece), and when I was younger I would draw some of my characters. In my old sketchbook I believe I have drawings of a few old OCs - funny enough, the OCs survived (though they're ones I haven't written about yet), but they've gone through a bit of refinement. I've even done a picture of one of my OC's pets, since he's a species I completely made up and I figured a visual would be useful. I'd like to redraw that one, actually.

I suppose if I needed to, I'd be comfortable with little edits. I've used Photoshop before and I know the basics, but I'd definitely feel more comfortable sticking to traditional art. I don't think I'd necessarily make covers for my fics, but idk, if I ever need inspiration or art references you might see drawings of my OCs' faceclaims or canon characters in the movie or show.

The biggest hurdle for me drawing content from my fics is that I can only draw human beings effectively if they're full realism with a reference.... which means I can't really draw a scene from a fic I made up, especially without faceclaims for most of my characters.

And idk, I feel like whatever I draw isn't going to match up to the imagination of the scene from the writing itself, so I don't want to risk that and taint the image in my mind. If I spend hours drawing a scene, the drawing is then always going to be associated with that scene, and it's never going to have the same realism in my head again. it's hard to explain.

[eddiebillysteve]

a/n: idk it's sad boy hours and i just wrote a little blip based on this post, not really edited so anyway enjoy??? lmao (trigger warnings for abandonment/anxiety/mentions of the mindflayer and the ptsd billy has from it)

“You’re late, Harrington.”

Steve knew Billy didn’t like being late for anything himself, but he wasn’t expecting his anxiety around tardiness to be passed along to him, too. It wasn’t that he was one of those people that just showed up late to everything in general, it was just unpreventable sometimes. 

He didn’t think being late by a couple of minutes would push Billy back to the last name step. 

“Baby, it’s—“ Steve looked at his watch before looking back out the window at his scowling boy. “3:04. That’s hardly late.” 

“I didn’t tell you 3:04, did I? I told you 3.” Billy’s voice was a snap hard enough to make Steve wince. Their relationship hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing, but he thought he had been doing a good job teaching Billy about communicating why he was upset and angry when his temper arose. 

“I know, Bills. Get in the car and I’ll explain,” Steve sighed softly, gesturing with his hand out the window for him to get in the passenger seat. 

Even if it was only four minutes, Steve still felt guilty. He was the one who insisted on dropping and picking Billy up from the pool every day instead of spending the money to get his camaro fixed. It was under the guise of Steve wanting to be helpful and doting, and saving money, but they both knew how badly Billy’s hands shook when he reached for Steve’s car door, how his fingers clutched the seat if they weren’t wrapped around a cigarette, how he couldn’t be in a car in the dark and how quiet roads made him cry. 

The mindflayer had done its damage on Billy in more than one way. His physical scars may have healed, but the mental ones were more present than ever. The anxiety that racked him, even with the amount of medications he took for it, was intense. He suffered from nightmares, hated the dark, could barely handle the cold without panicking. 

The blue camaro that had once been his safety, his baby that was a reminder of his life in California, had been turned into a constant reminder of the monster that had seeped into his body and nearly killed him along with so many others. 

But the anxiety over being late didn’t stem from being possessed by the mindflayer. Steve didn’t know where it came from. 

“Billy.” Steve reached for his hand when Billy was finally in the car, not starting up the engine yet. “Sweetheart, look at me, please? I’m sorry.”

But Billy still didn’t look at him, his watery eyes trained on the ‘Pool Rules’ sign he could see out the window. His jaw was clenched so hard to keep a sob from slipping out that he started to get a headache. 

“I’m sorry, okay? I gave Dustin a ride home and his Mom was feeling chatty. Wanted to introduce me to their new cat, as if I didn’t already meet the little thing months ago—“

“Fuck you, Steve.” The words took a few moments to sink in, and when he didn’t immediately reply Billy snapped his head over to look at him. “Jesus, Harrington, are you fuckin’ stupid? Just fuckin’ drive! Jesus Christ!” 

The angry words didn’t match the frightened eyes and tears dripping down his cheeks, and Steve took a deep breath. 

“Okay, so you’re angry—“

“I’m not in the mood for your bullshit communication speech. If you even say that goddamn word, I’ll knock your teeth down your throat, I swear to God.”

The swearing, the threats, may as well have gone in one ear and out the other. Billy always said a lot of words, especially when he was angry, and nearly all of them were ones he didn’t mean. Steve was used to wading through them to get to the real issue by now. 

“You’re angry because I was late,” Steve spoke carefully, but not in a condescending way. “You need to tell me why you’re upset that I was late so I know how to help you, Bills. Sometimes being late is inevi—“

“Because one day you won’t come, okay? One day I’ll be waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and you won’t fuckin’ show.” 

The words were enough to trigger the sobs that had clearly been building in the four minutes he’d been waiting, and Steve’s heart nearly shattered. “Baby—“

“Save it, Harrington,” he croaked out, clearly trying to keep up his angry persona despite the sobs. “Let’s just get it over with. Just fuckin’ leave already.”

“Listen to me.” Steve reached for Billy’s face, holding his cheeks in his hands to force Billy to meet his eyes. “I’m not leaving you. Ever. I want you, Billy, only you, as long as you’ll have me. What do I have to do to convince you I’m here to stay? Buy you a ring? Tattoo your name on me somewhere? Because I’ll do it. I’ll do anything I have to do to keep you from feeling like this again.” 

Billy’s sobs turned to heavy sniffles in Steve’s arms, feeling calloused thumbs wiping tears from his cheeks. “You can just not be late, but I do like that tattoo idea. Get my name as a tramp stamp—“ 

“Shut up.” Steve pulled him in for a kiss, both to cut off the idea and relay as much love and emotion as he possibly could. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I promise you. One day I’m even gonna marry you, you’ll see.” 

[storiesforallfandoms]

safe space ~ corpse husband

word count: 1296

request?: yes!

“Ok I just had this random imagine idea for corspe husband pop into my head. Its kinda long but I think it would be cute. The reader gets panic/anxiety attacks too but the reader had never been able to calm down or have a safe space when they have them. One time they were on the verge of having one and corspe just held them and they calmed down and they were surprised. It happens like that a few times and the reader realizes he's their safe space. One time they were about to have one and corspe was in his room editing (not streaming or recording) and the reader goes to him and plops on his lap and he's confused and the reader mumbles something like safe space and he's just shocked and happy. Idk I think its cause I just had one that I thoguht of this. I know its long. I just want some long cute corspe fluff. 🖤”

description: in which she finds out that her safe space is in his arms

pairing: corpse x female!reader

warnings: swearing, anxiety attacks

masterlist

The first time we realized that Corpse was my safe space was during an Among Us stream. I was in Corpse’s room playing so that we didn’t accidentally cheat off of one another. The round had ended with me throwing and voting for Leslie instead of Felix, causing the imposters to win, which resulted in everyone immediately yelling when they could all unmute their mics again.

I knew they weren’t actually mad, but I felt myself becoming overwhelmed with all the yelling. My breathing was becoming quicker and more shallow, and everything I could possibly say caught in my throat. Tears were forming in my eyes and my hands were shaking so bad I could barley even try to type anything in the chat. No one noticed my silence over all the shouting, except for Corpse, who knew me all too well.

The door to his YouTube room opened and the next thing I knew, his arms were around me, holding me tightly.

“They’re not actually mad,” he whispered, soothingly, in my ear. “It’s okay baby, you’re okay.”

Although it was still a long process of coming down from my attack, I felt myself relax in his arms quicker than I normally did. I cuddled my head into his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat until I felt myself feeling better. Corpse ended his stream and both of us left the game to spend the rest of the night just cuddling in bed together.

After that, Corpse became my safe place. Whenever he was around for an anxiety attack, he’d take me in his arms and would hold me as long as I needed him to. When he was busy, I’d put on one of his hoodies that smelled like him, which did the trick well enough but not as much as actually feeling his arms around me.

One day, I was hunched over my laptop, trying to make sense of the assignment I had been given for one of my classes. The wording of the assignment made absolutely no sense, and what was expected was extremely confusing. I didn’t know anyone in my class well enough to reach out and ask for help, so I felt stuck. And, of course, the stupid thing was due in a week’s time and I didn’t even know where to start for it.

My mind began to fill with anxious thoughts. I was convinced that this one assignment was going to lead to my ultimate failure of the entire class, and I was sure that that’s what I deserved.

You should’ve started earlier, a voice in my mind was saying. If you fail you deserve it. You have no one to blame but yourself, you lazy piece of shit.

Corpse was in his YouTube room, luckily just editing a video and not actually recording or streaming. As I felt my anxiety attack coming on, I debated on walking in without warning. I needed him more than anything right now, but I didn’t want to interrupt him when he was technically working. However, my vision was already becoming blurred from a combination of tears and how bad I was shaking, so I knew this would be a bad one that I couldn’t ride out on my own.

Corpse looked up at me as I walked into the room without knocking. He looked confused, but pushed his chair out anyways to give me room to curl up on his lap.

“What are you doing?” he asked, a mixture of confused and amused.

“Safe space,” I mumbled against his chest. My shaking was already becoming less intense.

He kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly to him. We sat like that for some time. I listened to Corpse’s steady heartbeat, a soothing sound that could’ve lulled me to sleep if I wasn’t still coming down from my near attack.

After a while, I felt Corpse move his chair back to his desk. He leaned forward ever so slightly as to not disrupt me on his lap and continued to edit his video. I watched as he did so, giggling at the parts that made me laugh, which was approval enough for Corpse to keep them in the video.

We were sat like that for nearly an hour. I had long calmed down, but I was so comfortable in Corpse’s arms that I didn’t want to move. When he finished editing, I turned to face him, straddling his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Are you okay?” he asked, resting his hands on my hips.

“I am now,” I confirmed. “I’m sorry for bothering you while you were editing.”

“You don’t have to apologize, baby. You have nothing to apologize for. You know you can always come to me when you need me.”

I ran my hands through his hair and gave him a light kiss on the nose, causing him to chuckle.

“You’re too good to me,” I said, my voice low in a whisper.

“Saying I’m too good to you implies that you don’t deserve someone who is going to be there for you at all times,” he said. “Which you do. You deserve that and so much more.”

“You’re gonna make me cry!” I said, blinking away the tears of happiness that were forming in my eyes. “Stop being so cute!”

“I can’t, it’s a disease. I can’t get rid of it.”

I giggled and kissed him again.

“Want to talk about what had you so worked up?” he asked.

I sighed and leaned back more to look at him. “It’s that stupid assignment for my class. I’ve left it for too long and now it’s due next week and I have no idea what to do for it. I’m afraid I’m gonna fail, the assignment and the class...and I feel like I deserve to fail for leaving it so late.”

“A week is plenty of time to work on it once you have it figured out,” Corpse said. “Can you email your professor to get it explained?”

“I can try, but she’s awful for responding. Last time I emailed her she didn’t respond until the day it was due, and by then I had already bullshit my way through the assignment and submitted it. I don’t even know I can do that for this one.”

“It’s worth a try. You can email her, then I’ll see if there’s any way I can help you figure it out while you wait. I warn you though, I am not the brightest person out there.”

“Well that’s a lie. You’re much smarter than I am.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. That’s the simp in you clouding your judgement of me.”

I chuckled at this as Corpse pulled me to him to kiss my neck. I let out a squeal as he rose from his chair, my legs still wrapped around his waist and his arms still holding me tightly.

He carried me back to his room and basically threw me down on his bed. He took my school stuff off the bed and proceeded to flop down on top of me, effectively pinned me down to the bed.

“Get up! I gotta email my prof!” I laughed, trying - and failing - to push him off of me.

“You can email later. I want to cuddle.”

I playfully rolled my eyes, but in truth I was grateful for this moment. No stress, no anxiety, just the love of my life in my arms and his head on my chest. I played with his curly brown hair as he ran his fingers gently over my sides.

This was my safe space, my happy place. And I truly couldn’t ask for a better one.

[yuujispinkhair]

I think tumblr in general is just going down hill. So many creators have left - largely because of a lack of interaction and enthusiasm with their works - the same creators who reblogged a lot . It’s getting a bit depressing. I understand, I used to get so many interactions last year and now it’s like dead, even my dash is kinda dead these days. Don’t get me wrong, I write for myself more than anyone else, but at the same time I’m putting out free content for others to enjoy - content that I KNOW is good but nothing changes. Idk, it’s frustrating and annoying. I hope people on here realise how much comments and reblogs do for writers and other creators because more and more of us are becoming unmotivated to produce anymore work and feeling tumblr burnout causing us to leave .

YES I AGREE!! I am seriously considering going on a writing hiatus atm. I sat down to write today but then saw the few notes on my new Yuuji fic, and I was like, "Why should I even put all that time and work into writing if this is all I get in return? Might as well just watch anime or play a computer game in my free time."

Maybe I am extra frustrated right now because I just reached another milestone and got 3000 followers. I wanted to do a little event, but it just feels so fake now because out of those 3000 people, only the same few ones (who I love and appreciate very much!!) interact with my stories and leave nice feedback. The rest don't even seem to read them, or if they do, they just click the like button. I'm sorry, but that's not enough. 3000 people follow a Yuuji blog, and then only about 6 of them actually say that they enjoyed it when I post a Yuuji story :( What am I doing wrong?

I used to get so many notes and so much sweet feedback. I have no idea what changed. Maybe it's because a lot of my mutuals left? And the new people have their own friends groups which they support?

Or did the quality of my writing get worse? Are my fics too long or too boring? All I know is that it makes me sad, and I feel inadequate anytime I publish something nowadays because it never gets the feedback I was hoping it would get. I assumed that maybe the JJK fandom is dead in general or that people don't want to read about Yuuji, but I see other authors' Yuuji fics get lots of interactions so that can't be the problem either.

Now I assume that people are tired of seeing me write about Yuuji, or they suddenly don't like my way of portraying him anymore. It makes me so sad. I always put so much thought into my stories and try to be creative, and it's important to me to write in character. But now it seems like all of this isn't good enough anymore.

Yes, I always give the advice to others that they should write for themselves and I am doing that too of course. But if I only write for myself, I don't have to spend hours editing and perfecting my stories. I can just write a few short sentences with lots of spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes and leave the rest to my imagination.

I have so many ideas and things I was excited to write and share with my followers, but now I feel like most of them wouldn't be interested in them anyway. Maybe I will write those stories for myself, but I won't publish them.

Despite the complaining, I want to say thank you to the people who always interacted with my stories and gave me sweet feedback and were excited about my ideas and supported me!! I love you so much and I am very grateful for you!!

[genshin-obsessed]

My (f/n) | Zhongli x Reader

Hello! This was originally a collab idea from a friend between like 5 people. The friend who suggested the collab pulled out and idk about others lmao so it might just be me. BUT I COMMITED AND DELIVERED SO! Cuz I’m responsible and amazing💖 anyway. It’s a reincarnation AU! Banner made by 🎭 anon! Thanks to @squeaky-ducky and @solies-scripts for helping me edit this💖

Extra sidenotes: Your previous self’s vision is pyro but you can choose whatever for the reincarnated version even tho it’s not mentioned. Also, Yehara and Lilith are my OCs (yes... more)

Length: 2.1k Summary: Zhongli loves and cherishes you above all else. One day, you’re snatched away from him and the world turns black for him. Yet somehow, a thousand years later, he sees you again.

The bright sun beamed down at the land below, illuminating everything in a golden glow. Zhongli stepped out into the light and closed his eyes, inhaling the fresh air.

Days like these were beautiful but they became a blessing all thanks to one person. A smile graced Zhongli’s beautiful features at the thought of them. His hand found its way onto his chest and he felt it steadily beat. He felt an overwhelming sense of serenity and it was all thanks to this person. You.

You, yourself, were a blessing in this archon’s life. He never thought he would ever feel like this. That he would ever feel love. What was love to archons? They usually loved the lands they resided over. The original archons held love for humanity and guided them.

For Zhongli, love was something of a general term. He loved the sun, the lands… today. But his love for you was something he couldn’t describe. Something the man of wondrous knowledge couldn’t understand.

Zhongli came to realize that love wasn’t something that could be easily explained nor did it need to be. Love gave him overwhelming happiness, so why bother trying to understand every aspect of such a beautiful idea.

The Geo archon walked through the city of Liyue and although he felt great joy, there was also a certain uneasiness. He paused and touched his chest once more as the anxiety grew.

Ultimately, the man ignored it, unable to find the root cause of such dread. He instead opted to find you, so you could settle his nerves a little.

***

“Zhongli!” You beamed once you saw him. He chuckled as you ran to him and wrapped your arms around his slim figure.

“You’re rather excited today,” he commented as he hugged back, “what brought on such elation?”

“Hmm, a very pretty man.” You said, cheekily. There it was, that smile of yours washed away any and all discomfort he felt.

“Oh, is that so? I’m quite jealous.”

“I wouldn’t be.” Zhongli chuckled once more as you leaned in and gave him a kiss. The sensation of your soft lips remained on his even after you’d pulled away. “What brings you here today?”

“I was thinking we could spend some time together. We could go for a walk, maybe set up a picnic since that’s what you wanted to do last time.”

“Really!? You’ll go on a picnic with me?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Your radiant smile was contagious as he found himself smiling in return.

“I’ll set it up!! It can be a late night picnic or- oh! Oh! Let’s watch the sunset! Then we can have our picnic. I’ll set up candles!” Your enthusiasm was always something Zhongli loved. It benefited him more than he could admit.

“Alright then. Where?”

“Our spot!” Zhongli teasingly tilted his head making you pout.

“What spot? I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

“Yes you do! Come on, Zhongli!” Zhongli leaned in and pecked your pouty lips before nodding.

“I do. Then I’ll meet you there?” You nodded with a bright smile.

“Yes! Exactly! I’ll have everything set up and I want it to be a surprise.”

Zhongli spent a little more time with you before he left, since you needed to prepare for the date. Only a few minutes after he’d left you, the anxiety returned. He touched his chest once more with furrowed brows. What was this?

***

You smiled as you started to place the items down onto the blanket. You’d been planning this picnic for weeks now and you finally had the chance to do it.

You set the cushions and small table you had brought, placing the candles and wine bottle. The food would remain in the basket to keep it safe from bugs since you had to wait quite a while. Hopefully your pyro vision was enough to keep it warm.

“Hello, are you (y/f/n)?” A soft voice called from behind. You turned around and saw a shy, but beautiful woman with long pink hair. The clothes she wore indicated she clearly wasn’t from here. She fidgeted with her hand, showing she was nervous.

“Um… who’s asking?”

“Ah, sorry! My name is Lilith but you can call me Lily. I was told you knew where I could find a um… Mr. Zhongli?”

Zhongli? Why was she looking for him? Finding her safe enough, you opted to direct her to your boyfriend rather than giving information about yourself.

“Oh, yes I do! He’s back in Liyue but you’ll find him at Wangshen Funeral Parlor.”

“Thank you so much!” But she didn’t leave. A giggle escaped her lips and she met your eyes, giving you a dreadful feeling.

“Y-yes?”

“So he’s not here with you… good.” In the blink of an eye, Lilith was in front of you. She threw you back causing you to fly into a tree. You let out a scream as your weakened body hit the ground. Pain shot through you and you weakly looked up at her.

“Wh-why…”

“Pitiful. You’d think he’d choose someone of his caliber but no. He chose someone weak and pathetic like you. Your pyro vision was wasted on you.” Woah, where did her soft voice and shy demeanor go?

“Zh-Zhongli…” you called out as Lilith picked you up and slammed you into the tree once more.

“Call him all you want. But he won’t get here in time.” Lilith repeatedly slammed you into the tree before a sickening crack was heard.

A weak whimper escaped your bloodied lips as the light faded from your eyes.

“H-help m-me… Zh… Zhong… li…” Lilith caught your limp body and picked you up. A wicked smile played on her lips as she walked to her destination.

***

It had happened all so suddenly. Zhongli was meeting an acquaintance to talk about his work at the funeral parlor when he felt a sharp, intense pain in his chest and back. He just knew.

He threw everything away, apologizing to his friend and practically sprinting to where you two were supposed to meet. There he was met with a grim sight.

The picnic had been set up almost completely, but the large tree behind it was covered in blood. The Geo Archon knew exactly who it belonged to. He finally noticed the letter sitting on the table.

Once he read it, he ran to the nearest Statue of the Seven in hopes of finding you and whoever took you. But it was too late. When he finally reached the statue, his heart shattered.

Your body was on top of the statue, laying across the lap of the stone man. Blood trailed down your arm that hung over the edge and dripped from your finger. Your lifeless eyes stared into nothingness, the final sign of your death.

A large pillar solidified in front of him and he quickly climbed up to get to you. Zhongli’s shaky hand slowly and hesitantly touched yours. Cold. You were so cold. Where was your usual warmth? Where was that dazzling smile that often chased away his sorrows? Where was the light in your eyes? Where was the joy you brought him?

“M-my… (f/n)...” he murmured in a sorrowful tone, “what’s… no. No, this isn’t happening.” He pulled you down and into his arms, wincing at how lifeless you were.

You couldn’t be dead, you couldn’t have left him. He jumped down to the ground with you tightly in his arms. His eyes stung and his vision started to get blurry. Crying? An archon, crying? The tears slowly slid down his pale cheeks. His voice cracked when he spoke up.

“Wake up, my love. Please wake up.” He begged looking down at you. The blood trickled down your mouth, a clear sign you’d been killed recently. Within the hour, actually. “P-please blink… please wake up. Please come back to m-me. I just… I can’t do this without you. I…” what could he say? What could he do?

Zhongli had failed. He’d failed to keep you safe and alive. He’d vowed to always protect you and he vowed to never let you get hurt.

The tears spilled down his cheeks and the pain in his heart grew. He took your face in his free hand and took a good look at his consequence. At his failure.

“Tell m-me this is just s-some cruel joke, w-wake up and tell me this isn’t real. I-it’s just a n-nightmare, right? Right?” Zhongli held you tightly with his head pressed against your chest. Nothing. He heard nothing.

You never blinked, you never looked up at him with that adorable giggle, and you never exclaimed it was a joke.

You really were gone.

***

How many years ago was that now? Almost a thousand? Zhongli had never gotten over your death and how could he? His first and only lover had been ripped away from him and he still hadn’t found the murderer.

There had been a significant change in Zhongli since then. He was much more reserved and defensive but he was also very protective of anyone he came to call a friend. Ever since losing you, he found it hard to love and care for people the same way.

There was a constant emptiness, a loneliness that never left. No matter how many friends surrounded him, he always felt empty. Food and drinks were tasteless and the world lacked color. No smile matched yours, no warmth matched yours, and he never found a pair of dazzling eyes such as yours. And he was sure he’d never see them again… or so he thought.

“Zhongli! Are you coming?” Yehara asked, making the man look toward her.

“Oh, sure. Let’s go.” Zhongli had met Yehara a few years ago and had helped her during a commission. She hadn’t been doing so well and he’d practically saved her. Ever since then, she stuck to him like glue. Although he wasn’t terribly fond of her from the beginning, he grew to like her. Once they were close enough, Zhongli finally opened up about you and your death.

Yehara swore she’d help solve the murder and wouldn’t rest until he knew. Zhongli had grown much closer to her than he anticipated. The relationship gave him complicated feelings, ones he didn't want to even deal with.

At first, he wondered if he had feelings for Yehara or else why did he feel so comfortable with her? Why did he feel so safe? Why did he often find himself seeking her out when he felt alone? He was scared because you were long gone but for him it was just yesterday. Zhongli didn't want to move on, no matter how healthy it was. He only wanted you, nobody else. Not Yehara, not another archon, no one but you.

There were many things he felt with you that he didn’t with Yehara. Her smile didn’t light up his world, her laughter didn’t echo in his ears, her hugs didn’t leave him tingling, and her words never stayed with him for more than a minute.

There were many nights he spent thinking about himself and Yehara. Was he in love with her? It took some time, but he eventually came to the conclusion that didn’t. He hoped she didn’t either.

“Zhongli! Stop dozing off!” Yehara said, making him look down. He chuckled and patted her head, before looking away.

“Sorry, sorry. It won’t happen ag-” Zhongli stopped abruptly, his golden-orange eyes widened. No…

“Oh come on Zhongli, you just said this wouldn’t happen again.” Yehara huffed and followed his gaze. He was looking into a group of people but after a few moments, her red eyes widened as well.

A person, looking EXACTLY like you was smelling some flowers at a stall. You smiled and Zhongli’s heart sped up immediately.

“It’s them… that’s my (f/n)... I know it.” The archon whispered.

“That can’t be… I thought…” Yehara looked at Zhongli only to look back at you. The duo watched as you nodded and purchased the flowers and turned towards them. When your eyes landed on them you froze, almost as if you’d seen a ghost.

“They saw us.” Yehara gasped, bringing Zhongli out of his trance. You did. You were looking directly at him with the same look of shock. Without wasting any more time, you ran towards him and stopped right in front of them. Zhongli’s heart was beating out of his chest and he clenched his hands. Why were you looking at him like that?

“You’re… Zhongli, right? I’m (y/f/n)... I know you from my dreams.”

“Dreams?” Yehara asked and you nodded, giving her a soft smile. You were more beautiful than Zhongli had described. She could see why he was so infatuated.

“I began dreaming about you when I turned 20.” That was an odd coincidence, since you were 20 when he first asked you to be his.

“You… know me?”

“I do. I only know things from dreams and as dreams not memories… but since you’re here in front of me, there has to be some truth to them. So will you tell me more?” A smile of relief appeared on his lips and he nodded.

“Of course, anything for you… my (f/n).”

[imagineyouandharry]

Gypsophila (H.S)

Summary: Prince Harry has been under great pressure to find a wife, and he finds his Queen in a way far more unconventional than he could’ve imagined. 

Words: 5,730

Warnings: It’s a bit strange I guess? Idk lol.

A/N: Someone requested a Prince!Harry au forever ago, and then I didn’t really have an opportunity to write for a while, and then this idea sprung up on me and I’ve been lost in this little au for the past few days. It’s like a little twisted fairytale, taking inspiration from Snow White and Sleeping Beauty mostly. Part two is already a work in progress. If people are interested I’ll even put out a little sort of world building lore post with a map of the kingdom etc (I’ve been in DEEP). This part is a bit choppy and barely edited because I was just so eager to write it and get something out, but I would really appreciate any constructive criticism and editing notes! TYSM!! Long story short, enjoy!!!

 ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Harry Edward Styles did not believe in true love, in fact, he thought it was the most ridiculous idea ever. Harry’s certain he’s laid eyes upon every eligible young lady, from his kingdom and the ones surrounding, and he hadn’t felt a single thing when looking at any of them. He prayed every night that he would find his love the next day, and finally be able to put his parents out of their misery and ascend to the throne. At the age of 27, Harry’s the oldest person in his family to not be married, no one every waited this long in the royal family. He would’ve had an arranged marriage at 21, though when his parents suggested that he ran away on a sailing ship for two months. One thing was clear to him: though he may not have experienced love yet, he wasn’t going to ruin his chances at true by being forced into a loveless marriage. It wasn’t only Harry’s parents, but the entire kingdom that woke each day hoping to hear that their Prince had found his Queen. They referred to Harry as the Good Prince, his subjects adored him, and lived for his acts of charity and selflessness, and they only hoped he would find a Queen that would treat them the same.

Harry’s outlook on love changed however, after his most recent hunting trip. Sundays are for family and hunting, that’s what Harry was always told. No day was for Harry, he’d come to learn that. Living under a microscope meant for very little alone time, and almost no guilt-free alone time. He and his hunting party rode across the fields and out to the dense forest surrounding the kingdom, and over the two hour journey Harry found himself agitated with the topics of conversation going on around him. He wanted a break, tired of everyone only ever speaking about royal duties or politics. Harry had discovered a fresh water lake if he went off the trail, and when he realised they were edging closer to his favourite place he decided to excuse himself with the excuse of needing to fill his canteen.

The natural spring was a hidden treasure indeed. Harry’s entire kingdom was cut off from the rest of the world due to the thick forestland surrounding it. There was only one trail in, and one trail out, and even then only experienced riders were able to make the journey. The end of the trail, in the deep of the forest, was also often lined with thieves and outcasts making it not the safest journey. This spring wasn’t necessarily hard to find, however thick trees that lined the main trail hid the spring, the gorgeous wild flowers, and clearing of soft grass either side. Harry tied his horse to his usual tree, softly parting the bushes careful to not cause any permanent damage, and stepped his way through. His kingdom was full of hidden treasures like this, tucked away in places only to be found by those adventurous enough.

The sound of the running water was most prominent, however the closer he walked to the spring, the more he could hear a faint, delicate singing voice. Harry couldn’t recognise the song, but it was one he’d never forget now. It felt as though his heart dropped in his stomach, and he had to lightly scratch his arm on a branch to double check he hasn’t died and was hearing an angel of heaven sing to him. He walked closer, with quiet footsteps so not to disturb the singing. He knelt down to the edge of the spring and began to fill his canteen, looking around his eyes eventually focused on the source of his siren, standing in the clearing over the other side of the spring as she picked a bouquet of dainty flowers. Lavender, daisies, bellflowers, poppies. Her body was dressed in sage green, the simple dress showed she definitely was not from a wealthy family, but it was simple and beautiful in its own way. Perhaps she sewed it herself, it did look as if it were made for her. He could see her hair shine from here, and the features of her side profile were striking him even from a distance. She didn’t look real. The strange girl across the spring looked ethereal, like her beauty was too surreal for this planet. Had he hit his head? Was he seeing a forest fairy? He hadn’t even realised the staggering increase in his heart rate as he watched the girl, and listened.

He lost track of how long he had been watching her for, snapped out of his daydream when he heard a “Your Royal Highness! We must be getting on!” Harry heard shouting at him from a distance, most likely back where he had tied his horse. The girl had heard the faint noise and her eyes shot in Harry’s direction. His cheeks flushed with heat as their eyes met only for a brief second, before she ran away. The eye contact brought a slight curve to his lips, although she was leaving, at least he got another good look at her.

“Wait!” He called as he stood up, his hand and canteen dripping wet. His eyes softened as she simply left, looking back briefly in her stride, but he’d blown it. “God fucking damn it.” He cursed under his breath as he began to trudge back to his horse, his feet weighing heavy on the ground.

That was the most he’d ever felt, looking at the stranger across the lake singing as if it were for him, and he couldn’t help but feel like he’d just lost his future Queen. Half of him wanted to wade through the water and run after her, but Harry wasn’t a often disobedient Prince, when one of his parents or advisors told him to jump, his usual response would be “how high?” It’s ironic how for someone who’s whole life depends on finding his future Queen is given so little time to actually explore a social life, or love life himself. He was always set up with suitors who his parents found best. In the rare times he’s able to sneak away he’d gotten around, and most definitely wasn’t a virgin, but he’d never found a girl who had made him feel the way he wanted to feel about his future queen. He only wanted to please his family, and his realm, but this was the one thing where he refused to compromise.

Y/N was as far away from a future queen as it could come, or at least that’s what her step-mother wanted everyone to think. The entire town hoped to marry their daughters off to the elusive Good Prince Harry, however her step-mother only wanted her biological daughters to have that chance. When Y/N’s father passed away her step-mother sent her out to live as a recluse in a tiny cottage in the woods, she had always feared that her beauty would distract future husbands away from her actual daughters, and didn’t want to ruin their chance of being married. Each Sunday she drops Y/N off the supplies she needs, but that was the only human contact she was given. It wasn’t too bad, she managed to keep herself busy with sewing, baking, or whatever other art or craft she could think of and had the materials for. It was lonely though, and she was ultimately alone.

Well, if you don’t count forest fairies. Y/N hated being outcast into the forest, and spent most of her early months in the cottage crying to whatever wild animal she could find that day that would stick around long enough. Eventually, these wild animals started bringing their fairy friends along with them. They would spend their days with Y/N tending to fruit and vegetable gardens, watering plants, having picnics, and making daisy chains. Her life was simple, and although not one she asked, it was one she was growing fond of. Male company was something she could only imagine and long for, or read about in story books. There were dozens of fairies living in the forest, but she’d become particularly close to a group of some of the female fairies.

Each Sunday before her step mother visits, Y/N will pick her step mother a bouquet of flowers in attempt to win her over, in hopes maybe one day her sweetness will earn her way back into town. Y/N had total obliviousness towards her step mother’s plan, and towards what was going on in the city. This year, any woman over the age of 21 was to present herself to the Prince. Y/N’s 21st birthday fell on the day she was scheduled to be presented to the Prince. The letter had been delivered shortly before she was sent away to the forest, Y/N never laid her eyes upon it though. The letter outlined the royal guard would be coming to collect anyone who failed to present themselves on the day, and to Y/N’s step mother that meant the only option was to make it so Y/N never turned 21, or made it to her birthday for that matter.

Seeing the Prince most definitely did spook Y/N during that day in the field, if her step mother ever found out she’d had contact with a male there was no chance she’d ever be allowed to move back home. She did all she could think to do. She ran. She ran so fast that the petals of the flowers she had picked were ruined in her haste, quickly shutting herself inside the cottage to gather herself before her routine afternoon visit from her step mother. Sure she knew of men to be dangerous and terrible, but she feared her step-mother’s wrath more than anything any man could put her through.

Like any other Sunday, she scrubbed the house and dressed herself in whatever new garment she had stitched herself this week. The fairies had been busy this week and she’d had a great deal of time to herself, embroidering colourful flowers into the soft white linen of the new dress she had made. Her step-mother would bring her fabric and thread to sew dresses for her step sisters. It was something to be proud of, but most likely would be over looked. Little was said upon her step-mother’s arrival, but her character seemed off. Her step-mother’s eyes darted around, checking windows as she insisted on making the two of them tea. Y/N sat down at the small dining table, recounting tales of her week, ensuring to leave out anything about fairies or a boy. She watched a small bunny outside the window, forgetting to speak as awe overwhelmed her whilst she watched its tiny nose twitch. Her daydream came to an end when the sound of the ceramic mug hit the hard wood of the coffee table. “Drink while it’s warm, my love.” Her step-mother told her, sitting down in the seat at the head of the table beside Y/N. It wasn’t long after that that Y/N hit the floor, and her step-mother was shrouding herself in a hooded coat and sneaking out of the tiny cabin.

Elsie, a fairy most close to Y/N, who specialises in healing, came to the conclusion that she was only out for about six hours before the fairies found her. They did all they could over the following weeks to bring her back to life, trying as many possible rituals, potions, and spells to give life to her body once more. Nothing was of use though, and instead they decided to preserve her in a glass case in the clearing amongst the wildflowers. She had professed to them that the clearing by the spring had been her favourite place, so they saw this fit. Preserving her in the glass case was simply because the idea of her beauty decaying away made any of the fairies shriek. Fairies never communicated with humans, however Y/N was different. Elsie had always theorised that Y/N had magic in her blood. Amongst the many spells and rituals they tried to bring Y/N back, they threw in a spell that would hopefully bring her back with true love’s kiss. It was like a safety net, or a ‘what if?’ But they eventually tired and wore out, preserving her was well enough for now. They kept her dressed in the new dress she had crafted for herself, it was so beautiful after all. They had placed tiny baby’s breath flowers throughout her hair, and made sure everything was perfect. They even went as far to adorn her in delicate gold jewellery, with beautiful crystals of all colours. Her body rested upon a large rectangular slab of rose quartz.

****

Harry was dreading sitting in the throne room, while all the eligible females from the town were presented to him like livestock. It made him sick, and left a terrible taste in his mouth. All he could think of was the girl from the clearing. Is she a sign? Is he his ticket out of here? Was seeing her fate? Questions like that simmered over his mind and kept him awake at night, he had been sleeping little and finding it hard to focus on his duties. His best friend Niall was he closest confidant, the only one he had told about the beautiful girl in the clearing that day. Niall cared more for Harry than anyone, really. He didn’t just care about his fame or power or wealth, Harry was his best friend and he hated seeing his best mate so down about his love life and the pressure to marry a woman he doesn’t love. He made it his mission to find the woman, and his detective work lead him down a path he didn’t expect at all. First he went to the clearing where Harry filled his water in the spring, that was where he first noticed something over the other side of the spring that he couldn’t quite make out. He followed the spring and found an area narrow enough to cross, making his way to the structure he’d seen earlier. He didn’t know what to make of this discover, a dead girl in a glass coffin. ‘Forever at rest, only to be woken by true love’s kiss’ read an inscription on a gold plaque. He really didn’t know what to make of this. He didn’t know what to tell Harry.

Sweat lingered Niall’s brow as he made his way back to the castle to find Harry, to tell him of his discovery. “Look… I just need you to come with me and tell me what you think when we’re there.” Niall tells him, his voice somewhat breathless. Niall himself was still in disbelief, shock, his eyes wide as he shook his head. “I just- I don’t know what to tell you. You need to see it for yourself.” He adds.

Harry nods. “I’ll come immediately.” Harry tells him, his trust for Niall outweighing anything else going on in his head. Together they rode to the forest, crossed the narrow part of the spring, and towards where Niall had discovered Y/N.

“Is this the girl you were talking about?” Niall asks, however when he looks from the girl to Harry, he knows the answer. Harry couldn’t help but fall to his knees, pressing his palms against the glass as he looked inside. He noticed how long her eyelashes looked, and the freckles on her nose. His nose was almost touching the glass as he leant here on his knees at the side of her, taking her in up close.

“What happened to you?” He whispers, his eyebrows knitting together. Niall gives him a moment before he decides to mention the plaque at the foot of the structure.

“It uh, says something weird about being awoken by true love’s kiss. I don’t know if it’s true, and it’s revolting to think you would kiss a dead body for nothing, but someone has put her here. Someone made this. My grandmother in her old age would mutter stories about forest fairies and their magic… It just makes you wonder, you know?” He ponders, his eyes wandering away. It felt silly to bring up magic, it was something very commonly dismissed.

“Help me get this off.” Harry said as he brought himself from the ground, the soft grass had left green stains on his tan riding pants. He pushed the sleeves of his white linen button down up past his elbows, and the two men carefully lift the heavy glass case up off of the rose quartz Y/N had been resting on. It wasn’t easy, and the glass at the bottom dug into Harry’s fingers before they set the glass piece of the structure down on to the grass. “Alright. Here we go.” Harry said, in attempt to psych himself up for kissing a dead girl. She didn’t look dead though, just sleeping, you could only tell she was dead due to the missing rising and fall in her chest with her breath. “I might start walking back to the horses, give you some privacy.” Niall said, giving him a slight smile. He also didn’t really want to witness someone kiss a dead person, if she didn’t end up waking up.

“Good luck. Take your time.” He adds, part of him had no doubt it was going to work though. The stories his grandmother would tell him of the forest fairies were something he’d always held on to, those stories were amongst his most treasured memories. He’d always had some hope.

Harry waited until he could no longer hear Niall’s footsteps before he leant down close to Y/N, brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear. He took a moment, if this never worked it was going to be the last time he’d ever see her. He couldn’t fathom coming back to this spot if this didn’t work. His heart began to ache at the thought, it made his chest feel tight, and gave him the urge to rub at the spot.

“I really hope you’re who I think you are.” He whispers as he looks down at her. “This might seem like absolute madness. I don’t even know your name, but if you wake up for me, I swear to you I will be yours forever.” He began, to Harry this almost did feel like a ritual, it felt special, and the words he was speaking were amongst the most genuine he’d ever given life to. “I promise, I will protect you. I will provide for you. I will love you. I will never, ever harm you. I will love you until my very last breath, I just need you to do this one thing for me.” His voice was barely a whisper now, and breaking as hot tears welled in his eyes. He very carefully leant down, pressing his warm, puffy lips against her cold, smooth ones. He didn’t know how long to wait, but it didn’t feel wrong. It was a sweet, tender kiss. His eyes closed, and he felt at peace. It felt more than at peace. The long grass, wildflowers, and tree branches that surrounded them began to stir with wind, petals floating up into the gusts that took them. This girl had a tendency to make him feel like he’s dead and in heaven. Her lips slowly began to warm, and skin began to glow with heat. It felt like they were floating, as if the universe was made up of just the two of them. The flowers beneath him began to grow taller and more dense, and it began to feel like his heart was pulling towards hers. It felt like a tether had been formed, connecting their energy, he could feel as her heart began to pump blood again, and her energy radiate from her skin. It felt too surreal.

Slowly, Harry removed his lips to allow Y/N to breathe. He let a hand lay gently resting on her cheek as he watched her gasp for her first new breath, eyes shooting open as she looked up at him. It wasn’t shock she was met with when her eyes met Harry’s, but peace. The luminous green eyes that were gazing down upon her were like lighthouses, guiding her towards safety. So many questions began to race her mind as she came to reality, unable to decide which one to ask first. As if based on intuition, Harry decided to speak. “I uh- I’m not too sure what happened to you but my friend found you here today and brought me to you. I believe I saw you a few weeks ago, in the same spot. I’m not sure how long you’ve been out here, but there was this little plaque at the end of this thing here, that said something about a kiss to wake you up… I’m sorry for kissing you without your consent, but I couldn’t risk not taking this chance.” He didn’t mean to ramble or to overwhelm her with his spiel, but he was overwhelmed himself with everything that had just gone on. True love’s kiss. His queen. His true love. The other half of his soul, in human form. Y/N’s lips parted as if to speak, but nothing came out. She closed them once more as she sat up and looked around, swinging her legs off the side of the marble before looking back up to Harry. Her movement had disconnected his hand from her face, and they both longed for each other’s touch once more already. Her eyes began to well with tears as she began to think about how she got here, her last memories.

“I can only assume how overwhelming this must all be for you… We can stay here as long as you need, it’s just us. When you feel ready for it, I can take you back to my home and we can get you showered and fed. I don’t mean you any harm.” Harry doesn’t even need to add that last sentence though, because she can feel it. She can feel his love for her, she could almost hear it if she listened closely enough, as if his heart was now beating a song for her.

Harry stood back, as if to give the doe eyed girl some space. She looked at him as if he was the most precious treasure on Earth, he’d never felt so overwhelmed with love. This was followed by her delicate hands reaching out, taking ahold of his as she brought herself to stand in front of him. “Is it alright if you hold me for a second?” She asked softly, needing time to process things.

It had been so long since she had been touched affectionately, she couldn’t really remember it. Her father was never affectionate, nor her step mother or step sisters or anyone else she’d met. She felt comfortable with the stranger in front of her though, and didn’t have the energy to resist the magnet like force pulling her towards him.

“Of course.” He responds, his voice soft as he wraps his arms gently around her frame, pulling her into his warm figure. Harry was like the perfect, giant teddy bear… but he wasn’t really that soft. Pressed against him she could feel how chiseled his features are. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she relaxed into him, cheek against the skin of his chest kindly revealed by the first few buttons of his shirt being undone. “What’s your name?” He asks, tangling his fingers in her hair to lightly rub his fingertips against the tender skin at the back of her neck.

“Y/N Y/L/N. Yours?” She asks, looking up to the tall, broad man.

“Harry.” He decides on leaving out his royal title or last name.

“Just Harry?” She asks, her eyebrows raising.

“For now. We have plenty of time to talk about me later.” He notes, removing the same rogue strand of hair as before from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. It was almost as if her hair had a life of its own, breathing, like the other flora growing in the forest. He had noticed the baby’s breath in her hair, though her hair moved, they remained in the same places, as if growing out of their place on the strand of hair. “What do you last remember?” He asks, needing to know if whatever put her in eternal sleep had been by accident, or as an act of malice. She looks back away from his face, resting her cheek once more against his chest.

“My step-mother, Styephania came over, she made me tea. That’s all I can really remember.” She said, unable to stop the disappointed sigh from escaping her lips. Maybe she’d had a freak health accident, like a stroke. Just because she’d been mistreated by her step mother her whole life, didn’t mean she was capable of murder. She knew her step mother didn’t put her out here though, this was the work of fairies. They were looking on, hiding in the bushes as they stood witness to young love blossom in front of them, not wanting to disturb the two of them. “I look crazy, and it sounds crazier saying this, but I’m certain the forest fairies are responsible for looking after me and putting me here. The day she came over was the day I think you saw me here, and I’m not sure how I’m meant to feel but I don’t feel like I’ve been a dead body since then. I feel like no time has passed at all.” Harry avidly listened to her speak, her voice like caramel, seeping in his ears and warming his whole body. Harry wasn’t phased by her mentioning fairies, Niall had suspecting this being their work earlier. It was the only explanation Harry could think of. He couldn’t understand why her step mother would leave her here, why she wouldn’t find her help.

He didn’t want to worry his sweet girl now, he wanted to make sure she felt alright, safe, and cared for. His grip on her wasn’t too tight, but firm in a comforting way. “The plaque… It mentioned how you’d only be woken by true love’s kiss.” He figured the longer he waited to tell her the stranger it would be. His cheeks were red, as if embarrassed or ashamed to tell her about the plaque, how strange it all was. Her eyes met his, and the connection gave him whiplash. He couldn’t peel his eyes away, getting lost in the little pools. He wanted to know everything about her, what she liked, disliked, what she ate for breakfast, her favourite songs, flowers, secrets. Everything.

“I don’t know if I know what love feels like. The only men I’ve spoken to are all twice my age. I wasn’t really allowed to see boys. You’re definitely much, much more beautiful than I would’ve imagined a man to be, and I’m certain that my heart is literally beating for you now, since you woke me.” She tells him, the descriptions of heroes in stories she would read, or how she would imagine the older men to look when they were younger, were incomparable to Harry. The compliment made his cheeks flush. With each beat of her heart, it was as if it was pulling her closer to Harry, calling out for him, begging for him to love on her and soothe the ache in her chest.

“How has God made something so sweet?” He mumbles, he hadn’t even realised he’d said it out loud at first. “You’re breath taking. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes upon, and trust me when I say I’ve seen a lot of them. Even from far away, the first time I saw you… You make me nervous. You make my heart race, and my palms sweat, and I get butterflies in my stomach and nervous when I think about saying the wrong thing or not having you like me. It’s as if you’ve been carved by God himself, like he was showing off when he made you so beautiful. I wish I’d met you sooner.” Those last words burn his throat, how easier the last few years would have been if he had just been able to find her sooner.

*****

Harry sent Niall back to the castle first, having him instruct everyone to clear out the path that the Prince and his soon to be queen would take to his suite, he didn’t want to spook her with people around. The guards had to stay though, non-negotiable. He also had Niall ensure the doctor was on standby, just to check on Y/N and stay in the castle over the upcoming weeks in case anything else happened. Security was going to be increased, and tightened, and a warrant put out for her step mother.

The two hour horseback ride to the castle would give them well enough time to get to know each other, Harry and Niall had also switched horses, Niall’s being the slower of the two. “I don’t want to startle you when we get there. I also don’t know how to really tell you this. I’m in the royal family, so the guards and whatnot are something to just be ignored. They’re for your protection. I don’t know if you heard much of what I was telling Niall earlier, but you’re going to be very safe here, and we’ll find out what happened. I’ll look after you, I promise.” His eyes are ahead as he speaks, looking over the vast green fields ahead of them once they eventually emerged from the forest.

“Still just Harry, to me.” She reassured, sensing his nerves about revealing this information to her. His shoulders relaxed at her reaction, and a smile formed on his lips when his mind began to wander into what their future may be like. His queen.

“Hey, one day that’ll be King Harry to you.” He joked, thankful that it was received with a laugh. Her laughter was almost as sweet as her songs, and for the rest of the journey he made it his mission to mine as many possible laughs out of her as he could, like little nuggets of treasure. After making their way through the fields that lined the forest, they went down a long road that served as a divide between two of the castle’s towns, and at the end of that road just past a small valley of mountains was a sight far more glorious than Y/N had imagined. Her village was a small village that contained mostly candlemakers and dressmakers, and it sat further to the east, people only ever going out there to purchase fine candles and clothing. It was niche though, and not many could afford the fineries the master crafters in her village would create. Y/N hadn’t even really seen a home larger than a cottage, Harry’s castle looked large enough as if it could contain its own little world, a complete wilderness of towers surrounded by fine gardens, protected by a large moat with a standalone drawbridge. Harry didn’t even need to announce himself, the drawbridge was already in the process of being lowered for him.

“I had Niall clear our path, I don’t want to overwhelm you. I’ll introduce you to everyone when you’re ready.” Harry reassures her, she hadn’t even thought of anyone else though, too in awe of the sights around her. Flowers she’d never seen before laced these gardens, with fine marble sculptures and fountains protruding from them.

“I can’t believe this is your home.” Y/N whispers, unable to think of anything else to say.

“Your home too, if you’d like.” Harry replies, though his words immediately shrouded him with nerves about rushing Y/N into anything. It was stupid, they were each other’s true love’s, but it felt wrong being strangers, so Harry tried his best to conceal things. He’d never been in a conventional relationship before, never mind whatever this arrangement is or was going to be. He just knew he wasn’t meant to rush things, so he tried to refrain from expressing his feelings as best as he could. Her arms around his waist tightened, Y/N needing to feel as close to Harry as possible. He held the reins in one hand, the other arm resting over hers around his stomach, holding on to her arm to make sure she couldn’t let go.

“I’d like that.” Y/N reassures, gently rubbing his side to soothe him. Harry was too caught up in his own feelings to pay attention to how calm Y/N was. She could feel his anxiety though, and continued to try to soothe him as best she could. Y/N knew very little about Harry so far, but what she did know was that he was kind, caring, and had a lot of worries. She’d never been a worrisome person, and if anything would even refer to herself as naive, it was something she’d always been almost ashamed of but in this moment felt like maybe she’d been made to be by Harry’s side. Y/N liked the idea of spending her days being Harry’s rock, a voice of reason. She’d rather a man like this than one who had no emotions, that was for sure. It could’ve been whatever was now eternally bonding them, but she swears she was feeling his emotions, able to see his aura if she really studied hard enough. She sunk into him some more, her arms around his waist, cheek resting against his back. Harry made sure to take it extra slow, giving his love enough time to appreciate the flowers. She seemed to like flowers, and his mother took pride in this being the most beautiful garden amongst all of the kingdoms. He couldn’t wait to show her all the fineries that came with his life.

[ramreboot]

https://tips.clip-studio.com/en-us/articles/6944

I made a tutorial for CSP's monthly tips competition! I'll be showing how you can use correction layers and brushes you can get from their Assets page to spruce things up

Basically, how to turn a "normal" illustration to a weather-themed one!!

Btw they said that views and likes influence the winner selection process so I guess I'd appreciate it if y'all retweet or share this! You can def view the tutorial without an account, but idk if you need an account to be registered as a viewer 

[Full illustrations and my thoughts and ramblings under the cut]

I've never joined a digital art competition. The only art competitions I've joined were when I was in primary school, so during my sem break I decided to just. Go for it. Also as much as I'd like to win $300-700, I *mostly* joined for other reasons

1. Wanted to do a big illustration, but didn't wanna accidentally spend 100 hours on it. Setting a deadline for myself doesn't work well because I know there's no serious consequences if I break my own deadline, so I signed myself up for an actual comp with an actual deadline 

2. It's been a while since I've joined any kind of competition. So like. Eh

3. I've been wanting to do a tutorial!! I really like explaining my process because it's like. Infodumping I'm too intimidated by the editing process to do a YT video and if I don't get enough views I'd feel even more tired from all the work I did, so a typed format is better!

4. Besides the normal illustration, I think the rest of the edited versions would make for a good portfolio addition! I think concept artists and illustrators showcase art of the same setting in different atmospheres to demonstrate their flexibility in working