#idk if that's scientifically sound but that's how it feels!

[celiaelise]

Anyway i don't remember if I mentioned this already, BUT I recently had my Adderall dosage doubled, and it has proven VERY effective!!!

I'm researching and visiting schools with Medical Assistant programs, and if I enroll soon, I could have my certification as early as next spring!

Also I've been cleaning!! No huge overhauls, but 10-30 minutes here and there. Started doing things I've never really done before, like handwash dishes because my dishwasher and I are not on good terms rn lol.

Anyway, one thing I already knew from my previous experience with stimulants, is that they make me talkative. I'm already naturally a rambler, but on certain meds that tendency can go WAY up.

The funny thing is, since I'm unemployed rn, I spend most of my time more or less alone. BUT, the yapping instinct is still present. So I've been texting SO much. I'm literally like, "uhhh, who can I bother right now?" It has caused me to reach out to some friends or even acquaintances who I don't normally text 1-on-1, whenever I can think of a specific question or topic they might be receptive to. (I actually do think this part is probably good for me.)

But my close family and friends get the worst of it! 😭 Paragraphs, essays, ten consecutive messages-- I am NOT exaggerating. I feel a little bad, but obviously not bad enough to stop! 😅 I don't even want to know what the word count of my commentary to my dad on my little college hunt has been for the past few days.

So, uh, to everyone who is being subjected to my recent loquaciousness, (very few of whom have access to my tumblr) thank you kindly for putting up with me. 🙏💕

[hergan416]

"While this passage may seem racist or orientalist to modern readers, Wilde here follows Huysmans in using 'the radically foreign (non-Western) as the occasion for showing that the discriminating observer can desire and regulate his body differently from the vulgar, inartistic, bourgeois.'"

Please, tell me why using non-Western music in this sense isn't racist or orientalist.

[lesbianpegbar]

i love the arts and animation obviously but when i hear my sister talk about her research and her work it does make me yearn for the sciences again

[coulsonlives]

My friend swears by cbti and says it fixed her onset/maintenance insomnia, because unlike what the doctor pushed on her, her only real problem apparently was bad sleep hygeine that she didn't even realize she was tanking. And ngl, I kinda wanna try it, because this bitch is sick of taking pills that don't even work and just leave me hung the fuck over lol

My sleep hygeine is honestly kinda shit, looking at it. I do use the computer and my phone right before bed and I spend hours awake once I do get into bed. Which probably doesn't help the association pavlov thing lol. So things could use a hard reset I think

[tenjikufag]

Got to thinking, a thunkle-ing if you will; not so a request but me chucking a ball of something at you and getting opinion

So, I've seen lots of fics where the reader is already familiar with the fun times, Laios opposite to them

I LEGITIMATELY would like to think if both were virgins that their first time would more so be, scientific and nerdy LMAO in the best way means

Idk, feel like it'd be a odd thing of, Laios is book based, on how it goes or the "effects", reader more-so through word from other folks (probably same w/Laios but eh), but it turns more into a poke and prod session than anything 'what's this do? Oh cool wowzas' but fun no less

That, or I'm easily swayed into getting all science-y and stuff XD

OOOO I like this idea and I’ve thought about it atleast a handful of times!!

Read under the cut! AMAB anatomy used. Switch!Laios and Reader !! NSFW, MDNI

Virgin Laios is sooooo realistic, far more than him having any experience imo- come on, the man’s social queues are barely there to have friendships outside of falin and the party; definitely not getting anywhere near romantic or intimate until it came to you.

Virgin YOU, oh you guys are fun to write. I adore when I get to write you guys as pent up little freaks.

The two of you being nerds and barely working up to being partners is one thing, intimacy is a whole other ball game! As you mentioned, he would look at it like an “experiment” of sorts. I have no doubt that he’d acquired a couple porn mags/books from browsing the romance section with Marcille- he’s an all around learner but visuals are always nice!

The faint arousal he’d feel reading said smut (all in the name of research) is about as close as he gets to actually touching himself before he met you; someone he would trust enough to experiment with. He’s not stupid, he knows what sex is he’s just never done it before! It’s nerve-wracking and despite how bold and nonchalant this big guy can be, it still burns a blush across his pale skin up to the tips of his ears!

I also imagine that it wouldn’t be full blown sex right off the bat, more so ‘sessions’, periods of ‘study’.

Laios had it on his mind, there’s no doubt. The two of you had discussed it in passive conversations but never really.. delved into it. Both virgins who knew the respected counterpart was in the same playing field.

Imagine it as your typical one on one “study”, typical banter of ideas bouncing around.

Happened to read into mating rituals of different monsters, intently scribing the words of their anatomy into your notebooks.

“I wonder what it feels like..”

It doesn’t take a genius to know how this goes, I’ll let you imagine the scenario and conversation leading up to it.

—

It would start out with mutual masturbation, jerking off infront of eachother and observing every sweet sound that left either of your mouths. Uncut, cut, whatever you had, it didn’t matter or keep the slick sounds from furnishing the room.

Moving on, breaking the barrier of only touching yourselves-

You’d pump each others dicks together, trying to match the pace of the others hand- it wasn’t a race, neither of you lasted long regardless.

FROTTING.

Rubbing your dicks against each other, the friction far more satisfying than a hand could be- unknowingly building your staminas with the desperate ruts against each other.

He was the first to take the plunge into oral, having slyly tasted himself or even you from what dribbled onto his fingers. It was intoxicating, that’s putting it lightly.

Of course, no experience means there was lots of training needed. ‘Research’ as he’d say, trying to learn how to control his gag reflex, trying to keep himself from instinctively biting down just because something was in his mouth. You tasted so good though, he couldn’t help himself so expect teeth dragging across you- whether you’re into it or not, you don’t have a choice early on. And vice-versa of course! Maybe without the infatuation with the taste of him, well.. maybe just not to the degree he experiences..

But when you end up on the giving end, he’s white knuckled and baring down on his shirt to keep himself quiet- expect big loads from this guy. And expect them to come quick.

Now, down to the nitty and gritty. Because that’s what it is.

All the porn and smutty stories could only prepare you so much for the feeling of your ass being metaphorically torn open.

You’re the first to try it out, admitting to having tried to play with your ass in the past but never getting anywhere. It was slow, painfully so. Tears in your eyes and Laios clutching his jaw painfully tight to keep himself from busting with just the head of his dick inside.

When it came to him, obviously he knew what and how to prepare after the fiasco you experienced..(poor you). Came with far more lube and had read about how to ‘open’ himself up to make it easier.

And he adored how it felt.

It was better than feeling full off of his favourite meal.

The two of you lasted far longer when it came to him bottoming- even if it wasn’t that long, it was progress as satisfying to the both of you.

Sessions would continue between each other.

The two of you took each others virginities, and basically all of the other firsts you’d imagine. Now that’s a job well done!

Patience, preparation, and studying rewards those who wait or whatever the saying is.

I hope we are on the same wavelength, if not tell me more about what your thoughts are- I’d loveeee to hear them.

[mixelation]

Kind of scicomm-related--

Is it actually possible to say "X species evolved Y trait in order to Z"? Whenever I see that phrasing I just become very suspicious, but are there methods of study that can lend a degree of confidence to saying, for example, "Giraffes evolved tall necks in order to eat leaves on taller trees," or "human hands become pruny when they get wet so that they can grip onto slippery things better."

That sort of stuff feels like a "sounds reasonable" fallacy to me, but I don't know what you would do to actually prove or disprove it. Like, giraffes gain other advantages from having long necks too. Can anyone say whether eating leaves or spotting crouching predators or swinging a neck around like a mace contributed more to giraffes' evolution? Or that it's not just something else that was selected for that happened to be linked to long necks (sorry I don't know if that's scientifically sound)

I have mixed feelings about wording like this, because it's not like.... the MOST scientifically accurate, but it's also an easy way to digest a concept. The sort of catch-22 of sci-comm is that one has to get as many people on the same page as fast as possible without losing their interest by over explaining things*, and so I see why this is an attractive way to explain something, or else why this is how a lot of people internalize thinking about things. I personally often say or think things like this; the difference when its my own private thought or I'm talking to other biologists is that we know I secretly mean something much more complicated. The question is: is it okay to word things like this to people who DON'T know this secret other meaning, if it helps them better overall understand a concept?

*Yes, i know tumblr is filled with people who love reading over explanations. However the average audience is NOT.

I would be wary of this wording when it contains these features:

Implying evolution has a purpose -- Evolution is not a specific end goal or a sentient force guiding the natural world. It is not intentionally moving organisms towards some "best" version of themselves.

Excessive storytelling -- Being able to weave a story is great for sci-comm! It helps people get into what you're communicating! But be wary of stories that don't substantiate their details with other pieces of evidence. Do giraffes actually eat leaves from the tops of trees? Is there an advantage to taking leaves from the tops of trees that we can measure? The story should include details on how we know what we know.

Lack of acknowledgement of other theories -- Sometimes other theories are not brought up for the sake of time, or because they're significantly less substantiated than the one at hand. However, if it's a pretty lengthy discussion and there's barely any mentions of other ideas, or the other ideas are brought up and immediately tossed aside for thin sounding reasons? Be suspicious.

Exaggerated wording -- IDK why, but a lot of people like going, "....and we have no idea why/how!!" for things that we have lots of ideas about, but cannot make absolute conclusions.

[ummmlife]

realistic nanami's d analysis

warnings! ; nsfw (kinda) , headcanons (obviously) ; educational 🤓☝️

as a nanamin simp i've been reading and hearing about nanami's 9 inches manhood all over the internet and, honestly?, that doesn't sound accurate to me

something that happens to people who like nanami a lot is that they portrait him like a white man and, consciously or unconsciously, i feel that the 9 inch thing has been motivated by that current of thoughts

that's why i've decided to make a long research about the male genitalia comparing the average sizes all over the world, asia and finally, japan

of course, i did not give him a micro penis, but please don't expect the king cobra between this man's legs

i stress again the fact that this is my opinion and if you don't agree... well, there's not much i can do about it :)

context ;

for us humans, diversity comes in different styles of things, perhaps no topic elicits as much curiosity, speculation, and even anxiety as the dimensions of the male reproductive organ: the penis. from ancient myths to contemporary media portrayals, societal fascination with penile size permeates cultural narratives worldwide. however, amidst the myriad myths and misconceptions lies a scientific inquiry into the fascinating variations of penile size across different populations and ethnicities.

so, repeat after me: not every hot man has a 9 inches long d– / jk

in a comprehensive analysis conducted in 2020, researchers examined studies on penis size and determined that the typical length of an erect penis ranges from approximately 12.9 cm( 5.1 inches) to 13.9 cm (5.5 inches.) They suggested that the actual average tends to lean towards the lower end of this spectrum. (King, 2020)¹.

Another study indicated that the length for a flaccid penis was 9.16 cm (3.61 inches). (Veale et al., 2015)².

and that is what i’m basing my analysis (headcanons) on.

let's take a look on this chart (of dubious origin):

in this one we can see and compare the different sizes of the male reproductive system in different countries. if we look at it, japan has an average of 13.56 cm (5.3 inches).

investigating more in detail the male population, i managed to find that the average penis size in japan is about: 13.56 centimeters (5.33 inches), with a diameter of 3.53 cm (1.39 inches) at the head and 3.19 cm (1.25 inches) at the shaft when it's erect. (日本人の平均ペニスサイズが明らかに! | TENGA FITTING(テンガフィッティング), n.d.)³

knowing all of this, let's get into the heart of the matter that concerns us today.

his size ;

i'm using using this essay for a reference (since my humble self does not own a peewee) (男性器の大きさについて|大東製薬工業株式会社, n.d.)⁴.

to keep it simple:

erected :

length; 13.73 cm (5.4 inches) ~ 15.37 cm (6 inches)

girth; 11.73 cm (4.6 inches) ~ 12.73 cm (5 inches)

flaccid :

length; 9.73 cm (3.8 inches)

girth; 9.37 cm (3.6 inches)

the shape ;

i imagine it with a base a bit wider than the head (it gives fat dick ohohoho) and slightly curved up, the foreskin is still there and the skin is more pigmented there (#967a68). i can imagine a notorious vein coming from the base to the tip from below. his glans is paler than the shaft (#aa8483) and when it gets stimulated it turns into a #c96c60 shade.

nuts! ;

how do i say this?

they look heavy, somehow. also notoriously asymmetrical, the left one hangs lower.

is the carpet matching the curtains? ;

no, and this is my personal headcanon since I like the idea of ​​kento bleaching his hair since high school, from dark brown to his blonde tone he all see now. but if you don't think the same, it's alright, it doesn't affect anything.

he's hairy, everywhere, yes i'm also talking about his butthole!!

but he like to keep the hair trimmed and nice, not a crazy jungle of hair, since he also like to keep his face clean. it is a routine procedure that he does once every one or two months, always using an electric shaver.

so if you plan to give him head (or eat his ass, idk and idc), please expect to feel his pubic hair tickling your nose

+ his buns ;

his glorious glutes are made of 90% pure muscle, it also look squared shaped.

amazing, wow.

sources ↓

anyway, you don't have to take everything i wrote literally or personally, nanami is a fictional character and it doesn't really matter what his penis should or could look like. if you imagine him differently, great, i do too lol, my brain is never going to imagine him with some exact measurements or shape

hope you enjoyed my little essay on nanaken's penis :) it's the first time in my life that i talk so much about cocks lol

bibliography ;

1. King, B. M. (2020). Average-Size Erect Penis: Fiction, Fact, and the need for Counseling. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 47(1), 80–89. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623x.2020.1787279

2. Veale, D., Miles, S., Bramley, S., Muir, G., & Hodsoll, J. (2015). Am I normal? A systematic review and construction of nomograms for flaccid and erect penis length and circumference in up to 15 521 men. BJU International, 115(6), 978–986. https://doi.org/10.1111/bju.13010

3. 日本人の平均ペニスサイズが明らかに! | TENGA FITTING(テンガフィッティング). (n.d.). 日本人の平均ペニスサイズが明らかに！ | TENGA FITTING（テンガフィッティング）. https://www.tenga.co.jp/special/fitting2012/

4. 男性器の大きさについて|大東製薬工業株式会社. (n.d.). Copyright (C) 2015 更年期障害・勃起不全・早漏のOTC医薬品は大東製薬工 All Rights Reserved. https://daito-p.co.jp/essay/penil_size.html

[a-twistedheartslonging]

Idk u but the fanfic trope of “sex pollen” can be kinda funny if it’s a bit more scientific.

Like, it not only makes your horny, it makes you feel your clothes (in the bad way, like you are caged inside something and you must get it out NOW), be moody, lactate if you still have those mammary glands.

You are crying cuz yeah you are horny, but you also feel your skin over your muscle, smell every little thing around you and you feel sticky from the sweat and whatever else. You are just so uncomfortable with your own body you can only cry. You even have a high fever this sucks!

Basically overstimulated in the worst possible ways, being horny is just one of the many effects, and personally it would only make me feel worse.

Like, “fuck it! I don’t want to have sex or anything just put me in a tub with cold water and bubbles!” And you spend the rest of the day in the bath tub until all of the effects are gone.

Every fandom I have ever even taken a peek at has done the trope and it just sounds like torture to go through to me. I already have sensory issues and hate being hot or sweaty. In the few times that I've experienced arousal it was just annoying to me.

And I don't think people get how uncomfortable lactating can be. (My hormones are weird despite never getting pregnant and certain antidepressants can cause it.) Leaky nipples feel weird.

I can imagine one of the twst boys wanting to fuck but Yuu just tosses bath toys at them from their place in their cold bubble bath. I can picture Grim being yowly and guarding the bathroom.

[sadevergreen]

THIS IS WHAT JADE IN THE EPILOGUES COULD HAVE BEEN

(ramblings of a lunatic about meat timeline of the epilogues as of part 23? im very passionate ig despite being VERY LATE to the party)

heavy inspiration from Marceline in Obsidian (and her song Woke Up). the epilogues fucked her characterization SO BADLY !!! hhhhhh >:(( I WANT TO SEE WEREWOLF ROCKSTAR THAT TOURS HEAVILY AND WHO HAPPENS TO BE MAKING HUGE SCIENTIFIC ADVANCEMENTS IN HER FREE TIME AND THUS IS RARELY HOME SO IT DIDNT FEEL RIGHT TO SETTLE DOWN AND GET A PLACE SO INSTEAD SHE COUCH SURFS AND SLEEPS AROUND/ CANT HOLD A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE SHES ALWAYS ON THE GO!!! LIKE THAT IS A BETTER EXPLANATION HHHHH!!!! maybe exploration of aromantic pansexual jade? that could be a cool arc!! IDK i just need something to work with here because jade that can calculate that 86.234% of her romantic advances on karkat and dave were outright rejected and assumes that means it’s accepted BUT CANNOT CALCULATE HOW MUCH IS BEING RECIPROCATED??? makes no sense to me. but jade being slightly more out of touch because of her fame AND THEN trying to just mend or deepen friendships could be interesting and even a middle ground. i think jade would’ve cared about seeing john more too. i think anytime jade was in his area she’d show up and crash at his house, and then kick him out of bed and into therapy!!! or make him hang out with his friends!! get this boy on some anti anxiety/ depressants because he is sounding remarkably like my older sibling with extreme social anxiety who, when finally put on meds, moved out within the year and got a girlfriend !!! john’s battle with depression and living in the past without being able to move on just makes so much sense. i wish they focused more on that. i want him to be able to explore that. GRAIN OF SALT BECAUSE IM NOT FINISHED READING YET UH WHOOPS- so maybe some of this has been dipped into, but not from what i can see. karkat and dave are honestly keeping me reading. im in love with them. (i think it was dirk but correct me if wrong) fuck dirk for calling dave the weakest of the strider/lalondes!! MY BOY IS RECOVERING FROM CONDITIONED CHILDHOOD TRAUMA FROM A VERSION OF DIRK!!! ofc mid transformation Ulta Dirk fucking thinks that, Bro was the one to instill that dave was week and he needed to train him. dave disengaging and allowing himself to be soften by karkat is g r o w t h !!!! so fuck off fr

[charmedreincarnation]

hi i’m sorry for this small rant. i really hope you reply to it because i’m spiralling so bad. i have been listening to v powerful luckiest girl and get all your desires instantly forced subs and i had two really bad days and overall my life feels so shit and i feel like nobody gives a shit about me feel left out with my friends and am really regretting some past choices i have made as in subjects i chose to study. why do subs not work on me ever? i detach but subs just don’t work for me idk what should i do i want to enter the void and live my better/dream life but i keep failing and i’m so spiraling so hard rn. i am not even seeing small success i can’t even manifest my acne away or to grow a few inches how will i enter the void and magically change my life entirely. please help me out. how do i manifest or enter the void as soon as i can. i am being delululu living in 4d but yes ik if i am truly living in the end i shouldn’t have doubts but it’s been so many months when will i see results in my 3d. manifestion should be instant right. i’m sorry for my negativity i hope you have a great day

Hi love! I feel like any of this could be answered in another ask, but you seem really worried, so I'm going to answer it anyway!

First and foremost, you are allowed to have doubts. Just because you have doubts doesn't mean you're producing those thoughts. From a psychological perspective (which aligns with LOA), our thoughts are not entirely our own. This is a scientific truth, whether you believe in LOA or not. Scientists say that our thoughts are influenced by external factors such as our environment, upbringing, and the thoughts of others. Sound familiar? They also claim that we have the power to change our thoughts and create our own reality by consciously choosing the thoughts we entertain. So, just know that you're going to have doubts until the end, but as long as you categorize them as random thoughts and not your own beliefs, they don't matter! For example, if someone dressed as Chucky the doll jump-scared you and you started having "scary" thoughts about it, that doesn't mean you actually believe Chucky is real and coming to get you. You have psychological responses to certain things that have been ingrained and coded in you for a while now. What LOA does is help us intercept these false messages and reframe them as "useless" instead of messages we encode in our mind and assumption.

I've always been interested in psychology and neurology, and even though it doesn't directly relate to your question, it's important to mention that you do have a brain, and your brain is wired to act in certain ways. Once you're aware of why you're acting and believing certain things, it becomes way easier to understand that the 3D world is malleable. I really suggest reading books by authors like Joe Dispenza so you can understand yourself better. Also, watching YouTubers who explain anxiety and reading self-help books can provide helpful ways to manage your own anxiety.

The second thing is, if you don't believe in subliminals, I don't know why people do this, but if you don't have faith in something or assume it doesn't work for you, just use something you have a little faith in. For example, maybe you're more logical. You can read about brain waves and then listen to binaural beats for anxiety,manifesting, and faith. Have faith in it, because you'll understand and know that those waves genuinely change your brain's alignment. That's just one example, but subliminals are not the only type of audios out there. There are many other methods to explore.

Also, meditation is very helpful. Not just to reach the void, but do you know how many conscious thoughts we have in a day? On average, it is estimated that a person has around 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts per day. These thoughts can range from conscious, deliberate thoughts to automatic, repetitive thoughts. That doesn't even include the number of unconscious thoughts we have, which is probably 100k+. You constantly have these little things running around in your head, trying to keep you alive, keeping you repeating the same thought patterns, beliefs, and assumptions. You can't consciously control them most of the time, but your brain and mind are working overtime 24/7. It's not your fault, so that's why meditation can help you. Not just to reach the void, though you can tap into that using some form of meditation as well, but to clear your mind and then it’s there it will be better to affirm and believe you can do whatever you desire. If you're not truly embodying the desired state, which you're not because you sent this ask, do you think a few measly affirmations can counteract the hundreds of thousands of thoughts you've been having every day since birth, most of which you don't even know exist? Affirmations do work, but trust me, I've been where you're at and worse. This is not the state to solely rely on "miracle affirmations" because you won't believe them, and when something doesn't happen, you'll just want to give up and confirmation bias will make you subconsciously think, "Well, see? I knew it. It isn’t real" But in reality, your mind is just looking for proof to align with your negative beliefs.

I know you say you haven't manifested anything, but can you really think back to something you thought was a "coincidence" or something you didn't really ask for but it just appeared? We usually brush those off as just the world at play or a small world, but nope, that was you. Maybe you don't have clear skin or whatever your desire may be, but as you probably know, that's because you've put it on a pedestal compared to all the other "small" but great things you've manifested

I know you probably wanted me to tell you exactly what to do, but I genuinely don't know you the way you know yourself - your own self, mind, and behaviors. You know best, fr! I could have said anything I've said before, like imagination is the real reality, the 3D being malleable, if you can see and feel it you can manifest it, try SATs or lucid dreaming lalala. But I've learned that you know what you have to do. Sit and meditate to learn about yourself and your mind, and why you think what you think. What past experiences do you still hold onto, reliving them in your mind and creating assumptions that no longer serve you? They can still affect you, we are humans and emotions cling to us like bees to honey, and that's okay. But we need to start moving those experiences into the past and start creating with what we are now, which is the present. Any given moment is a time to say, 'Okay, this doesn't serve me anymore, and this does. I don't want this life anymore, I want this type of life,' and consciously start creating with those desires instead.

Acknowledge your doubts, they're just doubts, and they're really just an extension of life factors that have been slowly consuming your mind. You may have them, but as a god, do you have them? No. But as a human, you are influenced by them, and who cares? You know who you are and your power now, so if you disregard them, work around them. But I can't tell you what to do because I'm not you! I wholeheartedly believe that you will get through this because I have as well and the lows are just apart of your journey as the success as corny as it sounds. But when you do succeed I promise you’ll back to this movement and just be very happy you didn’t give up despite how hard it was 💝

[jadetheblueartist]

I’m in a lore spilling mood and this needs to be done at some point so now is good. Better buckle up bc idk how long this is gonna be and I don’t even know what exactly I’ll go into. (Little warning for some violence) So without further ado, please enjoy the story of

The Orion Initiative

-Season One:

This is the story of four teens who all find themselves in alien hunting program- the Orion Initiative. They, among many others, apply for this opportunity and are accepted to receive their training and employment on the Orion’s spaceship. These four meet and come together as friends as they discover the more sinister side to this program in an episodic format (that quietly sets up the “big problem” in the background). Let’s meet the cast.

Megan

Megan had grown up on this spaceship, specifically in the area dedicated to scientific research. She was part of the research after all. Megan didn’t know what exactly had been done to her over the years, but she knew she was different. It was hard to compare herself to other people though since this ship and the people on it were all she’d known. Well, it was all she knew until the program began. Megan watched from afar for a few years as strangers came to live on the ship. She didn’t get too many opportunities to interact with them, nor was she allowed to, but she didn’t mind. Just to observe was enough. But one year, when the next wave of trainees flooded the halls and she watched them bumble about excitedly while getting her enhancements, one of the scientists told her the news. She would be joining the program this year. Megan was admittedly very nervous. She had alarmingly little information about this program despite her proximity to it, and she would be thrust into the midst of these strangers. Regardless of her thoughts about it, it was happening. Her few belongings were moved into a new room she would share with another girl, who looked like she could be her own age. The other girl looked up and walked over quickly, sticking her hand out in front of her. “Hi, I’m Zelda! I guess, we’re roommates?” Megan wasn’t sure what to think at first; this girl seemed strange and different, but not bad. Later, Zelda gave her a knotted bracelet. It had meant that they were friends, she told her. Megan didn’t take it off.

Zelda

Zelda had it all going for her. She was about to finish high school with a 4.0 GPA, the had a group of friends and family that loved her, and she was lined up to go to her dream college on a scholarship. So why didn’t it feel right? She’d been preparing for this moment for so long, but it felt like something was missing, like she should be doing something more. That was when she discovered something- the Orion Initiative, an elite program where she could live in space and be professional trained to hunt aliens. That definitely sounded better than going to a stale college for the next few years. Besides, this program was training and a guaranteed job with compensated room and board. It was literally the total package. And if she ended up hating it, college would still be there… After rearranging her plans, Zelda was soon packed and saying her goodbyes to her friends and family. She would miss them, but it was time she did something exciting with her life. After arriving and setting up her things in her room, she met her new roommate. Her roommate seemed a little closed off at first, but after gifting her a friendship bracelet, they seemed to click. Plus, when she was going around and meeting some other new recruits her age, she met a guy who was really cute. As it turned out, he and his friend’s room were in the same hallway as hers. This was going to be great.

Xander

Xander had a job to do. He had been researching this program for years, but the internet didn’t hold much about it. The Orion Initiative- the website vaguely described it as a program that would train and employ its applicants to hunt the aliens that could pose a threat to earth. It was advertised as completely voluntary, you can drop out at any time, you can always stay in touch with your loved ones. But if that was the case, then why did his brother just disappear? There had been nothing from him since he left. Xander had texted and called him everyday, but the phone didn’t even ring. His mom said that he was probably just distracted and busy with his new work, but she was one to talk. She was always busy and distracted; it would be hard for her to really realize something was wrong with this. So now, he had a job to do. His mom thought she was seeing him off to the airport as he flew to his university, but that wasn’t exactly true. He hoped she wouldn’t have to find out what was happening, that it was all just a misunderstanding and his brother just didn’t have service. Maybe he could really go to university one day. But not now. Xander was cautious and observant as he navigated the spacecraft. In any other circumstance, it might’ve been pretty cool. He asked around about his brother (“Do you know Jake Lee?”), but everyone there was new like him. He met a few people, like his roommate and girl who seemed really sweet, but he could still sense that something was off about this place. And he was going to figure it out.

Anik

Anik needed to get out. He was sick of everything. Sick of school. Sick of his parents. He just needed to get away. He needed to do something to get his mind off of things; he needed some control over his life. He had been scrolling on his phone when he was given a strange ad, boasting a great program where applicants could be trained to hunt aliens? Anik was intrigued. The website didn’t say many specifics, but it completely covered training and living costs? This was perfect. Anik would practically be paid to do dangerous stuff, and his parents might finally get off his back about his plans for the future. It was almost too good to be true. He was definitely doing this. After a little while of preparing everything, he was off to this program. He arrived and put his things in his room, where he met his roommate. The guy was pretty chill, but he did seem to be looking for some guy named Jake. He was a little preoccupied in Anik’s opinion since they were on a literal spaceship, but he didn’t care too much. He and Xander went to meet people soon after, and Anik had to hold himself back from cringing when they met this one girl. By the way those two were looking at each other, he could tell they would definitely be seeing her again. After quietly backing out of that conversation, he made his way around to some other people- he wanted to know what exactly they would be doing for this training. No one he found knew though, since they were all new. He guessed that the people who had already been through training must be in a different location. It didn’t really matter too much to him though. This was the start of the coolest thing he’d done in his life, and he was gonna make it count.

After coming together, the gang will go on to partake in little adventures as they learn life lessons and grow their relationships with one another. Zelda becomes the self-appointed leader of the group with her confident and competent nature and her ability to think quickly. Megan feels sort of out of place within the group and usually just follows Zelda around and lets her do the decision making. Xander is a sort of instigator who will pull the team into investigating certain situations, but will always be quick to help whenever they need it. Anik feels uncomfortable in the group dynamic but eventually comes to find his place as the heart and protector of the team. The leader of this program (who Megan knew as a sort of mother) often interacts with them specifically, giving them their missions and seeing to their concerns.

In one of the very important plot episodes, the team is training. The training takes place in a closed and monitored forest environment on one of the planets that’s used to test before field work. Somehow, a strange alien makes it into the training area where it’s not supposed to be. The team is able to exterminate it and move on. Soon after, Megan (the one in closest contact with it) begins to feel and act strange. The other three become worried as she becomes more animalistic and aggressive. This comes to a head when Megan’s eyes turn completely dark and begin leaking a dark liquid. Her mouth begins to foam and her breathing technology is damaged, but she attacks them and runs away. The team tries to get out but everything is locked down. They are trapped in the training area with their friend who seems to be infected by some exposure to an alien and is now trying to kill them. The rest of the episode depicts them waiting for the doors to open as they try to escape. First, she emerges from the shadows and slams Anik against the ground, effectively knocking him out. The other two begin to run as they hear but don’t see Megan in the plants around them. Next Megan knocks Zelda to the ground and throws several punches, but Zelda is able to fend her off with some of their equipment. Megan retreats momentarily before rushing Zelda from behind and knocking her down as she jumps for Xander. He puts up a fight as she pins him to the ground and, with a sickening crunch, rips his arm completely from its socket. Zelda runs back at this time and, although she doesn’t want to harm her friend, it’s past that. She shoots her in the leg causes Megan to run back into the darkness. It only takes a few minutes before the doors finally open and the three are rushed to the medical wing. They also tell the people about Megan, who is still in the environment and acting murderous. The people say they will take care of it. After a few hours, Megan comes to in the middle of a dark forest. Her breathing technology is broken, making her breaths very shallow and difficult. She’s covered in blood and a human arm lies in her lap. She’s there until morning, when she is found and taken to a lab. They said that the cause of the episode was due to the exposure to the strange alien. Even though she wasn’t in control of her actions, the whole team is uneasy about the experience and the relationships become slightly strained.

Subtly in each episode, the main plot is set up. The Orion Initiative, though claiming its purpose is to protect earth from aliens with a force of hunters, really is using the hunters in order to further their research. They need to stay in an alien infested place and because of this are vulnerable. These volunteers are sent out to “protect” the ship, but if they can’t, the aliens will be satisfied with a payment. There have been many different experiments to potentially enhance their hunters, so that they don’t have to lose so many people. Not many have been successful, although Megan is one of the few. The alien that got into the training area was planted there as an experiment.

In the season finale, the extent of the program’s villainy is discovered. After the gang confronts the program leader about, she explains the situation. She tells them about what’s really been happening (conveniently leaving out how many people have been killed thus far) but claims that they’ve only been researching in order to discover new methods of human mutation. If they can combine aliens and human dna, civilizations in space could be possible and utilized. They accept this answer at first, but the adventure of the episode leads them to the discovery of the death logs and failed experiments. As they look through the dark lab, they discover foggy glass capsules. A light switches on and they make a horrifying discovery. They are met face to face with the horribly mutated and disfigured face of Xander’s brother. Xander is horrified and despondent as they find more information about how they were failed experiments and a list of potential subjects that would be next. This causes panic. This program wasnt for helping people, it was for collecting canon fodder and voluntary subjects. They spread the news to the rest of the trainees and plan to make their escape by taking a smaller ship back to earth. Among the members of the main four, things grow more tense as Xander, arguably the most deeply affected by this, lashes out at Megan. He claimed she knew this whole time and had been helping them; that’s why she ripped off his arm. His brother was a freak human experiment who got killed because of her. Megan tried to defend herself but was uncertain. She always had listened to the program after all, and she did hurt her friends. Zelda almost couldn’t believe it. She wouldn’t think Megan would do that, but she’s practically admitting to it. “You really helped them do all of this?” she asked. Anik comes to her defense, reminding them that she wasn’t in her right mind when it happened, asking Megan if she wanted to help the program. She shook her head. “See?” he said. “She wouldn’t do it if she had a choice. We need to focus on getting out of here, not on this.” They all agree to put it aside for the moment and go on with their plan. After some interference with technology, they managed to cut some power and get everyone to the evacuation ship. As they’re running and get to the boundary between the main ship and the escape ship, Megan gets caught on an invisible barrier. She can’t cross over onto the ship. The others don’t notice until they begin to close things off. They realize that she’s stuck, but security begins to come towards the escape ship. There isn’t enough time. Zelda has to make a decision. She decides to prioritize the people on the ship and close the doors on Megan. She and Xander aren’t happy about it, but realize it has to be done. Anik can’t believe it and is shocked, telling her to stop the doors. She reasons that it’s too late for Megan. Anik runs at the closing doors and slides through at the last second, making it to Megan as the security closed in around them.

Nyehehe that was season one :D I’m gonna reblogged it with season two bc boy did it get lengthy. I wrote this out mainly bc I wanna make out of chronological order art and I needed to give yall context ^^ just gonna tag you here bud @banana-pancake5 :)

[slaingelo]

pride headcanons and boy do I have a fuckin lot so take your pic ig, (oh yea they’re all transmasc hcs ofc so I’ll just list it)

transmasc Ruto, Botw paya and Zelda, Cia

oh also Botw Zelda and Link are Transmasc for Transmasc, they are very gay and very in love

feel free to draw which one you wanna or not one at all you don’t have to answer this!

this might've made me go a bit insane ok. first thoughts upon seeing this; LACE UP BINDERS T4T BOTW ZELINK HELPING EACH OTHER LACE THEM UP PROPERLY. gotta draw that, might come back to do those other ones though bc boy do I have thoughts about those also !

second thoughts. holy Fucking shit this gives me an excuse to go off about trans masc zelda and how inherently interesting that can be to the entire narrative. and then realizing how amazingly it could mesh with botw zelda's story specifically into a queer retelling.

THANKS ANON THIS ALONE MADE ME ACTUALLY LIKE BOTW ZELINK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME

zelda's role is to take up the powers of hylia. zelda has always been a girl, a woman. of course all of them would be. hylia is a goddess. the first zelda was hylia's personal vessel.

botw zelda [ going to call him zel here on out in this post for clarity lol ] would have to come to terms with how his feelings don't align with his self-perceived role. at first, he thinks his yearning to be a boy is more to do with hating his responsibilities. i think his relationship with both his gender and his role in destiny is an incredible complicated one because of all of this.

meeting link, the other destined one, probably really fucks him up more. link being a trans boy himself, on a surface level, one might think would bring zel relief; someone like him, so close to him. but it does the opposite. link has always been a boy. this link, being assigned female at birth, is a boy as well. to zel, this reaffirms his thoughts that destiny has locked their genders into place.

in general, i don't think transphobia is a huge thing in the loz universe. it's like, a very niche kind of bigotry thankfully. it's MY childhood fantasy games and i get to mostly poof it out. i think the big exception to this would be those associated with destiny, prophecies, and of course, the reincarnation cycle.

zel is pressured to not only be a good daughter and princess, but to take on the powers that should be blessed to him by the goddess herself. everything just drives him further into hating everything, including link early on.

a big part of zel being able to actually unlock his powers would be both what i think happens in game [ desperation to protect ] as well as acceptance of himself. zel's inner turmoil over his own identity, where his duty as holder of the triforce of wisdom starts and right to be himself ends.

of course, there's no actual reason for the holder of wisdom to be a woman; as there is none for the holder of courage or power to be a man. it just so happens that it tends to be like that.

i think a retelling like this could add such a strong layer onto zel's character arc. it's so good. augh. thank yuo i hope any of this is somewhat coherent. they kiss in the end

btw i think generally trans masc zeldas go for the name sheik [ thank you OOT sheik you walked so the other tran masc zeldas could run ] but botw zelda specifically would take the scientific name of like, a small critter or plant, and alter it so it sounds kind of like a hylian name. OR just go by 'zel'. or both ! idk.

[daistea]

I NEED TO THANK YOU.

your little lycion blurb from before did something to my brain and now I'm head over heels for him. he's so pretty its unreal. a kind of serene pretty with a teasing, biting personality.

like if you were to compliment him, he'd just own it right up and grin, saying something slightly teasing in return with a soft tone. and he'd realize you like him sometime down the line and would do NOTHING to let you know he feels the same towards you. just kinda let you rot into a flustered mess, let you keep dancing around him until he himself cant take it anymore.

IM GONNA COME BACK WITH HEADCANONS ANOTHER TIME I SORT OF WENT OFF ON A RAMBLE

-lycion lover 🐺

Honestly I feel like Lycion keeps his feelings a secret not because he likes to see you squirm(he kinda does, but that’s not the reason) but really because he just.. wants to wait and see what happens. He’s observing. While his gaze would linger on you for longer than normal, his smiles don’t change and he gives no indication of his feelings besides the occasional outlandish random comment said with a perfectly casual, pleasant tone.

I headcanon that Lycion’s very nature as a person has changed since the beast transformation thing. He knew that would happen but didn’t care because he just wanted the new body, that’s all. He was willing to do what it took. And now he’s got heightened hearing and a better sense of smell. He canonly prefers meat and dislikes veggies which i think is also part of the beastman effect. But yeah I think just how he goes about life reflects his changed nature. And he’s super accustomed to his lover’s scent and pheromones.. (idk if there’s any actual scientific backing behind pheromones but it sounds hot sooo)

[plan-3-tmars]

Dogs Vs Cats and Social Expectations

Alright yeah I’ve stooped this low. His answer here is just really interesting to me because of well idk maybe the fact his T2 song is called CAT? So I’m throwing this out here.

this is like kind of a joke. kind of a character reading. 100% a mess - with that established let’s get into it!

Q: Do you like animals?

A: Well to an average extent. I had a dog back in my parent’s place.

What do you think of when you hear the word dog? If you said an active, most likely well-loved animal then we’re on the same page. It’s the typical dog lover stereotype and even if you didn’t and said something like high-energy, I bet they were still positive adjectives, right? Now what about cats? Were the adjectives more like grumpy, lazy, introverted? More negative descriptions? Well there’s actually a psychological reason behind this.

Dogs are, typically, more well loved then cats if they don’t act like cats and that’s for one main reason: psychological ownership. It’s the feeling of something being yours and is strongly associated with emotional attachment, so we care more about things that we feel belong to us. This feeling generally comes from having control over something, when you’ve invested time or money in something or if you know something very well.

So how does this tie into dogs being more favourable then cats? Well control of course. It’s easier to control a dog then it is to control a cat, that’s simply a fact. Dogs being easily impressionable makes it seem more like you “own” them, as they probably wouldn’t fair as well by themselves as a cat might.

Now how does this tie into Kazui? Oh well I’m glad you asked!!! Kazui’s parents tick all of the ways the feeling of psychological ownership can manifest in dogs.

Some of the answers to Kazui’s questions in this interrogation make it seem like his parents, specifically his father, are very controlling. Answers like “It seems like my father was also wishing I’d “be a strong man”” and “it seems like he wanted me to become a policeman as well”, there’s a theme of control here. They’ve also obviously invested money into raising him, but also from the answer “I got into a Sport Science University by recommendations”, he’s clearly smart so they’ve invested in his education too. And they’re his parents, they’ve gotta know their son well.

Yet Kazui’s T2 song is titled ‘Cat.’ And he asks to “be loved as a cat.” Cats … who are often not as well liked in society unless they are a breed that acts similarly to dogs, the norm fan favourite, then it’s scientifically proven that those cats garner more love. Doesn’t that sound familiar? Like a certain someone lying for the sake of true love, not because they actually felt it, but for them to be more normal? More like what’s expected of them in society?

[ellabsblvd]

heyy! I saw you write for Spider *excited hand clapping* this boy deserve more love! Soooo i wanted to request something hehe! So i was thinking, we grew up together with Spider and the Sully kids (we're human), and always been close to Spider, and both kinda have a crush on eachother but never acted on it. everything's good and happy until the recoms arrive. we get kidnapped along with Spider, and during the time with quaritch and his squad, we grow closer, and feelings get more real and intence. and one day (maybe when they attack the metkayina village trying to find jake), it's kinda too much for both of us, and it leads to a kiss (or lots of kisses idk lol).

sorry it's a messy request lmao i'm just happy to see someone who writes for him <3 thanks in advance!

nonnie don't even apologize ur so real for this. i had something JUST like this in my drafts you don't even understand how hard i've been thinking about this for weeks! lowkey don't think this is my best work but i'm still gonna post it cs why not

🧾: fluff, mentions of quaritch lighting that one clan tf up, distressed spider

heart to heart • spider socorro

you've always had to be around spider, and it wasn't a problem at all. of course you'd banter and roughhouse with the sully kids growing up, but at the end of the day it was always you and him.

being able to have your mother on pandora with you was a huge privilege, or at least to spider. you were taught things he wasn't, felt things he couldn't, heard things he didn't. not all of which was parental but also scientific. your mother being a scientist on pandora led you into the same path.

spending most of your time in the base working on tech instead of outside playing with spider and the sully kids wasn't always a downside. you preferred it like this anyway, the oxygen mask bothered you.

spider was a sweet child; but stubborn and convincing. especially on days you didn't want to be outside he'd always found a way to drag you out to small ponds and little ditches with the sully kids to play and splash. he'd lead you out of the base after fastening your mask, swinging his hand into yours.

spider made you feel normal on a planet full of blue aliens. (literally)

it seems as though you and spider were attached by the hip. and when you weren't, he'd come back to the base before eclipse and bring you many pretty flowers and trinkets kiri had lent him for that very purpose. nobody made you smile like spider did. even on days he was feeling down about his father, or just lack of parental figure in general, you'd be there to comfort him and return those smiles to him.

though spider loved to drag you outside the comfort of your very very very uncomfortable lab chair, he learned to leave you alone with time. (not really) but one unfortunate day spider managed to get you back out into the woods of pandora.

he blames himself for your kidnapping. if he didn't take you with the sully kids, you wouldn't be in this situation.

sat in his cell, he thought and thought. were you being out through that brain torture device too? did you tell them where jake was? did they hurt you?

tears welled in his eyes as he couldn't even bare the thought of you being injured.

when you reunited, it was with a deep hug. "holy shit." spider whispers in your ear. "i'm so sorry- this is all my fault." you're quick to shut him up. "no spider, you didn't know this would happen." he shook his head in response. there was a stronger feeling between you two; a different type of normal tension. you always knew you deeply cared for spider, but feelings become uncertain every-time you feel his skin on yours. it becomes so much more intimate. lovingly.

a deep sigh erupts from your lips when the sound of quaritch and his goons talking. curiosity forces you to pull away from spider, both of your feet slowly moving towards the conversation. crouching down, you eavesdropped. the plan was to move location onto a ship and sail to find jake sully.

i'm only what seems like a year you reach a reef na'vi clan. you can only weep and watch in terror as quaritch and his team scorch an innocent tribe. not only does this horrify you, but spiders screams don't lessen the damage. the moment was pure evil. nobody deserves to be treated like this... all to find one man?

spider is silent as he's pulled back into the ship. you're still sat the window where you watched the recent tragedy unfold. your eyes follow spider as he sits down next to you, quick to put his head in his hands and take deep breaths. concern clouds your mind as there's nothing you can deep right in your head to say to spider. is a conversation even possible right now?

so many thoughts at once makes you slow to realize spiders eyes burning deep holes into your face. when yours meet his, there's an entire universe of tenderness in them. an immediate abundance of love hits you in the chest. his brown eyes remind you that actions speak louder than words. your hand slowly moves forward onto his shoulder, and in one move he's softly pushing you into him by your waist and finishing the effort with a kiss.

this continued even after you were panting and heaving your chest. he couldn't get enough of you, and you needed more. though the kissing eventually came to a halt, more sensual hugs and touches were looming. now your feelings weren't uncertain. you loved spider whether that was platonically or romantically, and there was no doubt he felt the same way.

that same evening ship you both fell asleep at the window.

[merlucide]

HIII!! okay i saw your post abt having four months to “look good” and just to preface — i’m sure you’re already absolutely beautiful regardless but as someone who kind of did smth similar i figured i would share what helped me lose weight and look better and be sustainable about it without being restrictive or unhealthy (since that’ll lead to rebounding and regaining the weight as well as a host of other possible health issues which we don’t want 🙂‍↔️). disclaimer i’m in no way considered a professional or anything this is just what happened to work for me!! so take it w a pinch of salt (and also i hope this isn’t intrusive or rude or anything 😰 ik you asked for help but also idk since we’re not mutuals or anything i hope i don’t sound like a jerk or weird KFDNKSS feel free to delete if i do!!)

so the biggest thing to remember is no food is necessarily bad or good it’s really about portion control and eating things in moderation!! i’ve lost weight while having chips and dessert every day 😭 if you want to be super scientific and guarantee you’ll lose weight you can calculate how many calories per day you need to maintain your current weight and then figure out what deficit you need to be in to lose it (lots of calculators online to figure this out) and measure food appropriately but to be honest this can make eating stressful and it’s a very hard mindset to break out of even once you’re at your “goal” so def be careful with that!! honestly just being cognizant of what you eat and only eating when you’re hungry instead of bored/thirsty (top tip is just drink a glass of water when you think you’re hungry and if you’re still hungry afterwards then you should 100% eat!! and if not then you were probs dehydrated) would probably be sufficient too

in terms of working out (resident gym lover here) the key is that it’s better to go less times but be consistent than trying to go everyday and burning out and quitting entirely!! i go to the gym 2-3x a week and then i have a horseback riding lesson once a week so i never really exercise more than 3 or 4 times a week which would probably make hardcore gym bros freak out but 🤷🏻‍♀️…if i’m ever too busy and miss a day (or an entire week LMAO) i don’t freak out either because muscle memory is strong and you won’t lose everything that quickly!! just get back to it when you can and remember that even going and only doing half of your exercises is better than doing none at all (i had a lot of trouble w the all or nothing mindset where if i didn’t feel up to doing EVERYTHING i was like ok well might as well not go but it’s been really helpful to remember that a lighter day is better than nothing)

as for the actual exercises i do i usually warm up with cardio which isn’t necessarily recommended but i do what i want and what works for me so idgaf 😭 when i first started working out i would go on the treadmill at a 12 incline and 3 speed for anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes depending on my mood but now i usually do a 15 incline because 12 is too easy…this is def dependent on you though find what works for you/what you enjoy and stick with that!! in order to get the “toned” look you’ll have to lift weights…trust me i hated the idea of lifting at first but it’s honestly pretty fun and you don’t have to go crazy!! i just use dumbbells KDJFJSJS nothing massive by any means just enough that i feel like my muscles are actually working 🤩 you don’t have to do a ton of exercises or use a million machines or anything either — just pick a few that you like doing and that target diff parts of your body (i really like RDLs, squats, and lateral pull downs) and stick w those ‼️ there’s also a million beginner’s guides to lifting with videos for form and all online that you can access for free too so definitely a lot of resources 🤞🏻 but if you’re not into the whole treadmill + lifting vibe then just pick any form of exercise you enjoy and be consistent with it because again even if it’s not as perfectly suited to weight loss or toning or whatever you will get 1000x more results if you keep exercising than if you do smth you don’t enjoy and quit within a couple of days

ALSO make sure to stretch after you workout!! i think i read somewhere that you build 300% more muscle if you stretch after exercising which idk if that’s true or not but why not do it if ykwim…also it helps if you’re lifting because your muscles can get tight and be more sore if you don’t stretch them out afterwards 😨 and music always helps like if you listen to hype music (i always go for meghan thee stallion) it makes working out sm more fun and enjoyable!! and as a side note i know personally i struggled a lot w gym anxiety and even now i hate being perceived at the gym but you really just have to remember that everyone there is doing there own thing and you have just as much of a right to be there as anyone else!! so ignore anyone who’s being annoying but also keep in mind that you’re probably overthinking it and no one is really concerned w what you’re doing ☝🏻

OKAY that was so much omg like i said if any of this doesn’t resonate def disregard it and also if you feel uncomfortable please feel free to ignore and delete this!! i wish you luck and you’ve got this i’m rooting for you!! but please remember that things like weight are arbitrary and at the end of the day the most important thing is how you feel about yourself — as long as you believe you are a baddie you will exude baddie energy no matter what 🙂‍↕️

oh my goodness

thank you so much 😭😭

This is seriously so, so so helpful 😭🙏

ugh this makes me feel so much better tysm😭 seriously this is such great advice tysm for taking the time to tell me this

I head to the gym about 2-3x a week I’d say and focus on legs and cardio ig?? I’ll def do the incline on the treadmill (weights scare me but I’ll woman up 🫡)

tysm for all of this info + and the kind words you made me feel very good 😭🙏

edit: do you know any good free websites to find which deficit I should do? 🫠