#idk if that analogy made sense but i hope you get what i mean

[red-wineandcheese]

I think it's stupid (and funny) that people find this film pointless so they decide its a bad one.

The film is like a scratch to an itch in your heart, if you didn't have the itch then the scratch is rendered pointless.

[lesbiantoaster]

The Golden Enclaves (The Scholomance Book 3) - Spoilers

I've just finished The Scholomance series by Naomi Novik and I need to write my thoughs because I have some opinions XD These are just my thoughs as 20+yo freshly after finishing the series in one go (+listening/reading some opinions on-line). Also english is not my first language so I hope my message won't be lost in traslation.

El is unreliable narrator but she's a great character imo. Yes, she's ulikable, stubborn, 17yo brooding edgelord full of trauma BUT (for me at least) she's an believable on top of all of that. What I mean by that is I can believe that this is what a 17yo girl would sound/think/akt like. That doesn't mean her actions are always right but who doesn't make mistakes (especially when they're a teenager) ? But despite all the trauma she's endured during her stay at the Scholomance as well as before that and loads of self-loathing she's always been a good kid at heart to whom the world/fate has been really unfair. I love her journey throughout the series I truly do even though this journey is just beggining, but that's what's amazing about this character because now evry reader can have their own headcannons about her future. And that's what makes El Higgins one of my favourite characters of all time and makes me love this character!

Orion on the other hand had been made dirty imo. I'm sorry I really wanted to like him but he literally has ZERO personality he's just a depressed mawmouth shaped like a boy who wants to hunt mals and be next to El... It's sad because his whole story is genuinely tragic yet I felt next to nothing while reading it (only after finishing the golden enclaves I've started to think about everything he'd been through...). Also kinda unrelated but WHAT is Orion now? Like is he human enough to idk... get old? Or will he remain a 17yo till the end of Scholomance? On that note if he'll get old like a normal human being then what will happed to Scholomance once he passes away? (I don't expect to ever recive an answer to any of those questions but I am curious about it).

So... what do I think about Orion x El relationship? Well I think it was good for them while they're in Scholomance and (of course) it was crutial for the plot progression. But do I think this has a future? Absolutely not. For the first two book I was authentically rooting for them. They were good for each other and helped each other grow and mature, but reading The Golden Enclaves I couldn't help but play this tiktok sound (the one that goes: "He is not 'the love of your life'! He's literally just a guy. Just hit him with your car!") in my head for most of the Orion-related parts. And while what happened between Orion and El was genuine and beautiful and was working pretty well for the time being but they're teenagers in their first realtionship (that was formed in confined space where death was waiting for them litterally behind every corner and for what they knew they could die in the next 5 minutes, and lets not forget the social structure of small comunity of Scholomance - and while you can find some analogies beteween that to the outer world, they're not the same) and I don't think it'll survive past the point of when their frontal lobe will be fully developed... But I do think they'll remind good friends after that. That's just my opinion!

And that's I'm SO glad that the Liesel x El subplot happened! Some people say it came out of nowhere just to get representation points but I disagree with that sentiment... Don't det me wrong - I didn't saw it comming until the scene in London enclave, but when it happened it cliked for me and everything from The Last Graduate till the end of The Golden Enclaves started making sense... (?) My interpretation of the situation is that El DID notice Liesel in Scholomance and WAS atracted to her (considering that El's our narrator and we only see her version of reality, everything we learn about the world is El's understanging and observations of it - we only know things she considered important enough to describe to the reader AND she considered Liesel to be worthy of describing her multiple times to this degree that we KNOW that during New Year's cleaning El was looking at Liesel's boobs and wasn't complaining about it (she was complaining that Orion wasn't doing the same thing) maybe a the time she wasn't considering herself being attracted to the same sex - it might be because she wasn't quite experienced with social interactions and it was all new to her.. I mean newer than to 'normal' 17yo who's just begining their dating life). The biggest tell for me that El was attracted to Liesel was her reaction when she figured out what Liesel was proposing to her in London. What I also like in golden enclaves is the character development of Liesel herself. Watchin how this prideful, cunning, inteligent and fierce girl starts to care (even deeply) for El and how this relationship catalyzes her own process of healing from all the trauma.

And don't let me get started on thie whole "cheating" discourse... The first time El and Leisel get intimate is when we are sure Orion has been eaten by maw-mouth and the only reason for El to go back to Scholomance is to kill said maw-mouth so Orion along others victims to can die peacefully instead of suffering in eternity. So she's grieving and everyone grieves differently and it's not our place to judge that. The second time on the plane is slightly more complicated but also I wouldn't say it was cheating (I wouldn't even say that El and Orion were dating again at that time... it was more of will-they-wont-they-situationship where Orion specifically asked El to kill him if his mother won't heal him - and we all knew she wouldn't), it was a shitty move tho... Let's remember we're talking about deeply traumatized and mentally fucked-up kids (ok... young adults). I don't condone what El did in that moment but I also try to remember the context of these decisions and I refuse to judge her by my standards (+ I highly doubt that after all of this El never mention to Orion what happened between her and Liesel, just because she didn't do it right away after the events from the book doesn't mean they wouldn't have talked about this - it's just that hiding this information from Orion doesn't sit right with my interpretation of El's character).

El's just a teenage girl who's going through her first love but it doesn't mean she's gonig to close herself from the world just for this boy she met in school (in contrast to her own mother who's the archetype of mourning widow). I just really want to hope that in the case things wouldn't work out between her and Orion it wouldn't be the end of the world for her.

I'd like to believe that what these kids started was a revolution at the core of the rotten magic society and the whole system build on death and suffering, and that the change will come (after some probably long and painful process but IT WILL COME - that's my headcannon and I don't accept any other outcome for my own mental wellbeing XD). But also alongside of the changing/rebuilding world these kids need to heal/grow/change themseves. They've been through some serious shit and need to redefine who they are and find their own place in the new reality. I'd love to read about older versions of our heroes (because I'm 100% sure they won't be the same kids we left at the end of the last book) but I also don't think we'll ever come back to this world to see what happened next with our beloved misfits but I really hope the future will bring more fanfictions, headcannons and other fan-media that will keep this world alive and will allow us to dive in this world once more!

All to all I loved the series! It's not ideal (in many aspects) but overall I've really enjoyed it & sincerely recommend reading it and to shape your own opinion on the matter! Please keep in mind that it's only my interpretation of the series which is based on translation of the books and my personal life experiences and if you disagree with me you are more than welcome to express it (I'd love to see other perspectives) but please don't send hate! Lots of love <3

[sombritas-des]

Hey!! I really like ur writing!!!

For the scars one i imagine that whenever the beheaded gets a new vessel or body to inhabit they both take a good long look at it and try and figure out what the scars came from before it died. Like the both of them don't know so they just guess and try and use the information to maybe prepare for what's coming up. - Like if the body has a lot of bite wounds they'll be like "ah, bad dogs ahead" or if there's more modern signs of damage like stabbing or slicing or whatever theyll be like "ah, bad people ahead"

This is assuming they're just sorta walking around going from place to place, which I feel like they'd do.

I'd also imagine that it's pretty hard for the beheaded to actually scar up, cause a dead thing won't really produce the proteins to make that happen, so they like, staple it together until it holds up yk? So all of the beheaded's scarring is really nasty and kinda fucked up since it takes so long to actually heal over. But drifter has med packs so most of their scars are more surgically taken care of ykwim? Like drifter disinfects their wounds and tools and beheaded is like "eh whatever" Idk I just really like the idea that beheaded is all fucked up cause it makes me feel like I'm still loveable lmao (⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

Anyway, I love how soft they are with each other. like of course I'll love you when your scarred, not in spite of your scars, not because of your scars, but because I love all of you, including your scars. AUGH I'm biting the walls

ALSO (sorry this is getting long but I literally have nobody to talk to about them) like, the first time drifter sees beheaded after a combat situation he's like "HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD!!" and beheaded's like "that ship has sailed lol" and for the first time in their life (death? perpetuation of consciousness??) the beheaded is treated gently and they're stitched up with care and bandaged with love. And they like, don't know how to react because it's never happened before and they're like "this is a waste of time and resources" and drifter is like "you're never a waste to me" auhgh.,, im ill about them

- e (I hope ur chill with me talking about this at u)

aah thank you so much, means a lot i do my best when writing! also ooh long!

Yeah “scars” was something weird to be fair but i like your analogy, i do agree with you,both of them would check on the new beheaded body to most likely gather information, also something that i added as a hc is that, the beheaded can sense or re-live the source of dead of the body, that ones is explained in “rebirth” another short ramble i wrote, they don’t feel the pain but rather the emotions.

As for the mending on the injuries, i kinda roll with the idea that somehow behe could try to preserve the body they inhabit, as in dead cells probably the healing flask do exactly that, regenerate the cells of the cursed vessel . Most of my rambles take place in drifter’s universe, the land of light, in that matter probably the same medicine that drifter uses can do the same effect as the healing flask from the beheaded cursed island.

So! how they heal/mend…funny i do thing the cells mend themself with time, slower but they do, the cells mend  the injury as an awful made scar but that's only when the beheaded let stays with the body long enough to heal, which is rare or was rare before meeting the drifter.

Drifter mending the beheaded cuts or injuries, bro i melt everytime i think about it, they absolutely do so and in such a careful yet precise way is almost enduring, those scars mend wonderfully, clean and close in a way that only a soft discolored mark can be seen, those are the beheaded favorite scars.

oh! but of course that the first time they do ,goes something like this..

-------------------------------------------------

The Drifter knelt beside the Beheaded, concern etched on his face as he examined the wound. The Beheaded, however, seemed almost disinterested, his gaze drifting off as if focusing on something far away.

"Hey, behe, I need you to stay with me here," the Drifter said, his hands gently probing the injury.

The Beheaded's response was a nonchalant shrug. "It's just a body, Drift. It's not like it matters." the beheaded sign 

The Drifter's expression turned stern. "It matters to me. You matter to me."

He began to clean and dress the wound, his touch gentle but firm. The Beheaded winced slightly, but it was clear their discomfort stemmed more from the Drifter's fussing than the actual pain.

As the Drifter worked, the Beheaded's gaze wandered, his thoughts seemingly a thousand miles away. The Drifter noticed and hesitated, unsure how to reach the Beheaded beyond his detachment.

"You know, I used to think it was just a body too," the Drifter said, his voice soft. "But then I met you, and I realized...it's not just a body. It's a vessel for your spirit, your heart. And I want to help you protect it."

The Beheaded's gaze snapped back to the Drifter, a flicker of surprise in their core. For a moment, they just looked at each other, the tension between them palpable.

Then, in a small act of defiance, the Beheaded reached out and touched the Drifter's hand. "Fine. Help me, then." the beheaded sign defeated

And with that, the Drifter continued his ministrations, the Beheaded's reluctant acceptance a tiny crack in his armor.

-----------------

ah…those dumas, gosh i love them

and no worries!! i love talking about them, i adore them deeply like ooof.never hesitate to come here and aks or chat about it, also i appreciate a lot you coming and telling me about how you felt with my tiny rambles means a lot! (ง ´͈౪`͈)ว

also you filled my head with new ideas..thats dangerous

anyhow! thank you again!

[musingsofaperpetualdaydreamer]

The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology first listen 🎧🪻✨

More than 15 years later wow it still feels so magical to listen to a brand new album. The joy, the excitement, the nervousness. I mark chapters of my life with her albums, they always seem to arrive with perfect timing. Is it fate or delusion? Probably the later, obviously she has no idea who I am. Idk it feels nice to delude myself now and again that we’re all journeying through this time together in some connectedness (is that a word?). It feels sort of nostalgic in some ways, from being just a child to now an adult, it’s like Sesame Street that grows up with you. Not a great analogy but what I mean to say is it holds a special place to me.

This album, this anthology feels much like we’ve been handed her diary, filled with sticky notes bound together, it’s so raw but so expertly crafted, messy feelings but the penmanship is exquisite. From her debut album, it’s always been poetry. She transports you to her world. What a journey, what a joy, what a gift.

I like to capture my first thoughts of each song in my silly chicken scratching written notes. Most of it makes no sense. It feels like a nice silly tradition and it’s fun to look back on. So here goes:

Fortnight

- It’s giving moody 1989??? Excuse me miss?!!! Ohhh she knows. Preach bye time to cry

The tortured poets department

- Ooooh we’re in an 80s dreamscape. Yes yes yes. Who’s gonna love you but me? A fluffy dreamland Patty smith? Insert wait I understood the reference meme. Ooooh it’s lovely. I am sad

My boy only breaks his favourite toys

- excuse me?? I’m shattered byyyyyeee. I’ll tell you that he runs because he loves me?? You should’ve see him when he first saw me? Once I fix me he’s gonna miss me??? Ladies and gents welcome to afternoon tea on the menu SCALDING hot queen’s special. Maybe I’m a crumpled up paper on the floor. Maybe I am no more.

Down Bad

- well damn she’s said the quiet parts out loud again. Oh smokes time to dissapear into this galaxy smoky cloud of night. One of us. One of us. One of us.

So long London

- literally standing by the river in the rain. May as well cry my damn eyes out . Darn it blondie. Poetic destruction. Crying my eyes out by the water like I’m in made in Chelsea. Darn.

But daddy I love him

- a folklore ode? Little house on the prairie Princess revolution. Serve it up serve it up I’m ready to be stuffed like a winter pig. A grown up love story. It’s ridiculous and maybe wise eyes know too well it’s chockablock of red flags but darn I’m a cheesin’ this is so cute.

Fresh out the slammer

- oh it’s like August but dark. August dark afternoon blistering hot and the storm is about to come.

Florida!!! Ft Florence and the machine

-ExXUSE MEEEEEEEeE?????!?!!?teee heee heee heeee. Your home’s really only a town you’re a guest in??? Sorry can’t speak my jaw has shattered. Pls pls. Palm tree pls.

Guilty as sin?

- A false God dreamy haze confessional? With sprinkle of Gold Rush??? I am a melted.

Who’s afraid of little old me?

- The who’s who of who’s that is poised for the attack? But my bare hands paved their path, you don’t get to tell me what’s sad? - I AM CHOKED. Silenced mute. Ohhhh miss blondie is on BUSINESS. TELL THEM SWEETIE. Oh my heart 💔

I can fix him (No really I can).

- Oooh moody blues preaching with generous dash of delusion? Ah yes my routine favourite beverage. I am drinking this up like air. Drunk on false hope? One of us. One of us. One of us.

Loml

- You Holy Ghost you told me I’m the love of your life. Oh no I’m crying again. Back to crumpled paper rocking back and forth on the floor in a ball it is. It’s so pretty yet, shattering. Devastating. I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all. Dancing phantoms on the terrace, are they second hand embarrassed that I can’t get out of bed ‘cause something counterfit is dead? Yep that’ll do it.

I can do it with a broken heart?

- Oh damn. Honey nooooo. Oh myyyy. Oh I’m in this picture and I don’t like it. It’s so artfully done, so upbeat and Poppy yet so hauntingly sad. Yes that’s the point but it’s sooo well done. Oh sweetie. I can’t stop laughing it’s not funny, it’s just you too pumpkin. I wanna hug her and tell her it’ll be fine. Ok ok.

The smallest man who ever lived

- Oh I’m speechless. And I don’t even want you back, I just want to know, if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal. The bridge? Excuse me while I sink to the bottom of the darkest ocean.

The alchemy

- Oooh it’s so cute and dreamy. I’m beaming you can hear her smile when she sings.

Clara bow

- Oooh it’s the lucky one grown up. The bridge is a masterpiece. It’s hell on earth to be heavenly, thems the breaks it don’t come gently. She knows she’s a star, The never ending cyclical wheel of stardom, even the shiniest, ends with a new star born in its shadow.

The black dog

- Oh No no no I Am 1 billion percent destroyed. Byeeeee

Imgonnagetyouback

- Oooh blondie is on the prowl and what can I do but bop like the well stuffed clown I am. Insert meme of cat bopping their head.

The albatross

- Banjo? Haunting country cautionary tale? - scathing review of one’s reputation, worst traits but underneath it all is just vulnerability. Caged for ‘monstrosity’ but being so vulnerable and just wanting to be freed loved. The ‘monster’ trying to protect the one they love from the things that will come for them too? Do they even realise it? Do they care? Wow it’s poetically beautiful.

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

- Oh it’s sad. If you wanna break my cold cold heart, just say I loved you the way that you were? Oh myyy. Replaying old moments, looking for clues wondering if it can all have a new ending? Wow.

How did it end?

- Wow the invasiveness of empathy of the innate curiosity of wanting to know, so you can something comforting, learn from it but you forget how it can be the worst part, having to offer up a ‘post mortem’ to all when you’ve barely even processed its ended yourself. The cyclical nature of it happening every time like it’s just a formal process we’ve come to accept even though it haunts us all. Ironically as we listen to this. Wow so beautifully done.

So high school

- I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you, and in a blink of a crinkling eye, I’m sinking, our fingers entertwined. Awww the sort of bubblegum silly feels you roll your eyes but you have the biggest smile on your face. It’s soo cute. You know how to call, I know Aristotle.

I hate it here

- Oooooh tell me something awful like you’re a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy. One of us. One of us.

ThanK you aIMee

- Oh my goodness it’s grown up mean but she made it out. It’s so sad but I’m beaming. I say that’s my baby and I’m proud. Andrea? Oh thank you next. Not the kid. I’m cackling.

I look in people’s windows

- Oh it’s haunted death by a thousand cuts glimmering of desperate false hope. It’s lovely.

The prophecy

- Oh. Damn yep that’ll do it. Right in the ticker. Damn. It feels very much like am I doomed to always be the one before the one? Wow. Just yeah.

Cassandra

- I don’t know why but this makes think of safe and sound. Like the woman that was there when everything burned around them. She’s telling her side. Everyone’s there to watch you burn, screaming your guilt but silent when they’re wrong? If that ain’t the truth miss. Oh wow. Shes beautifully captured such a dark chapter.

Peter

- Oh wow it’s beautiful. It’s like post cardigan and she’s all grown up. 'Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned. But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light. Oh wow it’s wow.

The Bolter

- Oh we must stop meeting like this but it always ends with a town car speeding. Wowowow. It feels like the time she fell through the ice, then came out alive. Oh my a BEAUTY.

Robin

- Oh it’s so pretty. It’s like never grow up, safe and sound and seven swirled together. Wow. It’s like she’s talking to her child but then also herself in the past and present, like from an older perspective? Ohhh it’s beautiful. Why does this make me think of coraline’s real mother watching her sleep? I wanna cry.

The manuscript

- Wow god it’s beautiful. Another time travel song. You keep revisiting past in your mind and you gain perspective and then you realise you aren’t that version of you that lived it anymore. You can feel it still, not as deeply perhaps but you’re disconnected from thinking the way you did at that time or after. Is sobering and haunting. The healing. Wow wow wow.

@taylorswift thank you my love 💕

[onnie-giri]

I love how you do your coloring! Any tips? 🫶😭

aaaaa rly sorry i only managed to answer this now ;-; im still figuring out how to color myself so take these tip/s i give u w a grain of salt cuz im still learning ^^

one tip i can give and this is sumth i apply mostly in my process is that less is better!!

using as little colors as possible helps in making ur entire illustration look cohesive!! it also lessens ur stress from picking out what colors to use (cuz lbr, w so many colors on the color wheel to choose from, it can get rly overwhelming ;-;)

i use around 4-5 (or add one more if i feel like it) for my base

this doesnt necessarily mean that u are only limited to use those amount of colors in ur work!! NO NO -- from those main color schemes that u've chosen, thats when u can start branching out different hues by sliding around the color wheel within the range of those main colors (idk if that made sense im sorry ;0;) FOR SHORT ANALOGOUS AKHFKJAFA

it's easier to make color choices that way especially if u dont understand color theory like i do lol

(but fr for the most part ive mostly just been finessing and experimenting the colors i use lol) WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY FINE BTW!!!!!! EXPERIMENTING IS FUN AND W DIGITAL ART THERE'S SO MUCH U CAN LITERALLY DO TO HELP U FIGURE OUT HOW TO IMPROVE UR COLORING!!!

if u have trouble figuring out what colors to use, using gradient maps and picking up palettes on pinterest is definitely a good starting point ^^

JUST REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN W IT!!!

(hope this was understandable and that it helped u!!)

[alazyparallelworld]

sending an ask to engage with what you were saying was a random impulse but im happy to see you respond and give it thought, definitely wouldnt mind sending more since this is an interesting topic :3 glad you dont mind... it can be weird being a detached observer of somebody elses life specifically if they are uncomfortable with the idea of it. i think the reason i jump to using the word "oversharing" is that talking a lot generally has a negative connotation for me because i have negative experiences with talking a lot and being ignored. i guess one of my main insecurities? so maybe i dont have the same type of accidental charisma because im too obviously desperate/curating myself too much, idk. marketing myself as a persona isnt necessarily a good goal to have so maybe sharing myself in more private spaces is for the best (not like i dont compulsively share to anyone who will listen anyway)

also being the way that i am i dont appreciate the observers/audience i DO have enough because im constantly looking for evidence of it. kind of a never enough situation. i definitely think i just have to let it go & if it happens it happens. actually, i do have a decent chance of gaining a following over my art, and when i got more interactions i swear it was when i drew more, so i guess that is part of whats happening with you. art drawing people into somebodys persona or something? i wonder if part of it is just like, when scrolling the dash peoples attention is caught more by images so it makes somebody more likely to get invested. but i think your art has a lot of personality and its what personally made me interested in following your blog so i guess the art is just like, one piece of the whole of a "persona"

diving into the pure psychological sense… going to put the entirety under a read more.

leans back, in the "contemplating therapist" pose and aura. This is a distinct position for anyone familiar.

forgive - me - in the event of bad perspective. entirely: i am not a medical professional, and if these woes are Distorting your life into an unhappiness (ability to function, socialize, that ilk) on a regular basis, either from the 'expected' of bi-weekly to the 'constant' of daily - internet guidance should be an appetizer, at best…!! while a peer's view is quite different from a, "Went to college for half-decade for this particularity" employee, they are both helpful -

but I don't mean. "Go to a therapist," because: i minimized my daily-distortion of BPD (fond Bitch Personality Disorder) thru worksheets, pamphlets, scientific texts. this conversation between us is 'improper' text, ""Uneducated"" but it is not without merit. I just don't want the existence of only two options - "[symptom of mental disorder] reddit" or "therapist that specializes in [mental disorder]" in an analogy. There are a plethora of ways to better yourself - "so maybe sharing myself in more private spaces is for the best" cannot be the single possibility. i believe in you - broaden yourself, and do not hastily imprison yourself to Any distraught for the easy answer, "better in the long run"

what you desire is evident. That is a crucial first step, and your life is measured in the thousands of footprints. Time is here for you - there is no real clock, rather, you know where your satisfaction is in space. Be proud of self-awareness, of identifying desire, these are inch forwards.

now, your path forks - "can i transfigure that want, into something 'healthier," "is there a healthier route to that want," and how exciting is that…! how to min-max pain and pleasure, that is the basis of all species. and if the decision solidifies further into, "i have to go home, i have to let this all go," that is the first option. there is no shame in release.

that is my thought on. "insecurity," and i hope - even if very inaccurate, maybe Inappropriate, your reaction of 'that's wrong!' strengthens what you know to be true.

[head on desk] That's a heaviness…! not on you. This could've been a very simple answer. I'm strange and chattery, for I don't talk IRL and only online. At least, in length…

ART…! art is eye-catching. It is intrinsic. Of course, my artwork pulls people in (but I captured attention b4 I started, as I only began in winter 2020, blah) for any colorful stimuli it kickstarts the brain. Nervous symptom responses.

(i don't think it provokes the sympathetic nervous system SPECIFICALLY, but i'm not abt to rabbit-hole myself into certainty. sensory is prolly also incorrect, just in a 'less wrong' kind. i'm singling out nervous specifically, as the 'colorful'ness of art prolly agitates the body first into, 'is this a toxic plant' survivalism and NOT the visual aesthetics of being 'pleasing to the brain,' i think that's a secondry concern, aaaand i'm rambling abt special interest SORRY)

word-of-mouth, 'reblogs,' or searches is how people notice the un-art. Fanfic writers. Clever meta. Observations. Diary-ing. to 'appeal,' you have to either - as mentioned previously - change yourself, or redirect your goal - but for less extensive… Journaling via pen-and-paper, or a notes app, is easy in THEORY but difficult in PRACTICE. these don't fulfill the, 'exchange,' because journals and notes are private. However. These are good practices. Writing onto yourself sharpens the ability to communicate, your dialect - there's a difference of 'early' ramblings here to current ones. (admittedly, a, 'there's been developments in psychosis,' is a portion rather than True improvement, but it's not a singularity)

review sites i.e letterboxd and backloggd serve similarity, but are dedicated to movies/video games respectively. And, they center around either criticism, or humor - which isn't what you want… you want your natural self to be attractive. I do think you could find enjoyment outside, and it can be good fun or a learning exercise finding out that You Hate Writing Meta.

[angelmelon]

It's really confusing to do fanart of someone else's characters and then demand they're not allowed to interact with it? Rusty made these characters herself? You can draw other characters if you don't want her interacting with art of the characters she herself made. Sorry. I don't mean to be mean or anything, it's just a little confusing and doesn't make logical sense to tell her not to interact when you made fanart... Like you interacted with her stuff first. You'd definitely be safer drawing other characters if you don't want TERFs interacting, and you really have no claim of harassment over that. It's her intellectual property. again not trying to be mean just trying to explain and make sure you stay safe and informed. Hope you have a good day!

I am referring to if she hangs up my work. I get that she’s allowed to interact with it which, fine. Not happy but fine. My issue is that I have heard from a fellow trans artist that she has hung up their work and proceeded to misgender them. While this person was able to call her out and I could do much the same, I do have an issue with it because I can do much *less* than another artist could do protect my work, as a disabled artist who is generally at risk of physical harassment. If she hangs up my work, fine. If she misgenders or harasses me, online or otherwise, my ablebodied family that is much more equipped than me is getting involved. This is a warning that she is not allowed to make some dumb ass post misgendering me and flocking her followers over to a young, very disabled artist’s page who cannot meaningfully defend themselves

I appreciate your concern however, and I generally appreciate meaningful engagement and concern with my content, I am simply explaining what I mean

also I am begging you to stop calling redesigns of transphobic caricatures made by a gross terf made by upset trans people “fanart”. I just noticed that. I am not a fan of Leasebound. This is spite art, if you want a better term idk

Edit: just came up with a good analogy

it’s like how authors shouldn’t interact with reviews of their books

terf webtoon creators who draw one direction mpreg and think that femme women are brainwashed should not interact with spite filled redesigns of their bad faith trans caricatures made by trans artists

interact with fanart

don’t interact with spite art

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 12 - France

Yup, we’ve reached peak F1 brainrot and just carrying on watching cars go zoom.

And for once I do remember something from this race... mainly the brutal demise of Charles’ title hopes. And the last race before Seb announced his retirement 🥲. We do get a Lewis podium though. Onwards... or should I say allez?

ngl I am the F1 theme is starting to get a tad dull at this point 😅 always gotta watch for Seb, Mick and Lewis though

God I hope Crofty doesn’t try to speak French like he did in Monaco I got major second hand embarrassment

“There could be action throughout the grid today” I hope so bc I am not looking forward to this following Austria

ANYWAY: starting grid

Mick P17, Lance P15, Seb P12... it could be worse

Lewis P4, get it King!!!!

Wait this was his 300th race????? I have no recollection of this whatsoever why was my dash not going insane about this at the time

(or was I already too deep into my Poor Mental Health Spell by this point last year?? potentially).

Anyway, Leclerc on pole so we know how this ends :(

oh Circuit Paul Ricard idk if we’re going to miss you

(and yes please can we manifest Lewis becoming the first driver to win a race after 300 starts I need it)

[Start/Lap 1]: Lewis into P3!!!!!! inject it!!!

Fernando doing Fernando things and jumps into 5th

and Yuki spins, Seb and Lance are racing, mild spice on the first lap

nooo Esteban don’t try and take out Yuki like that 😭

[Lap 3]: Verstappen already closing an Charles this is slightly depressing

I mean, story of 2022, but I don’t like it

[Lap 4]: “Meanwhile these two are pulling each other away from Lewis Hamilton” also the story of 2022. *shakes fist at W13*

“Let’s head to Nico Rosberg” oh christ am I not suffering enough?!

Monaco Man Menace

anyway: back to the zoomies.

[Lap 6]: oh jeez that shot of Verstappen closing on Leclerc on the straight is very depressing.

[Lap 7]: Somewhat related but I forget just how long a lap Paul Ricard is... you can kind of tell it’s a testing circuit

“What’s Charles Leclerc got, other than his natural ability?” Faith in Ferrari, gone. A colossal mood tbh.

[Lap 8]: Perez getting yelled at for track limits. Lads please I haven’t recovered from the chaos of Austria.

“Remember Ocon’s got a 5 second penalty” Watching this after Bahrain 2023? Painfully hilarious.

[Lap 10]: Charles and Verstappen having a nice little procession round the track, and we don’t even have any midfield spice 😭

I still don’t get why they’re able to speak to the TP’s during the race??? Like surely they have many, many other important things to do????

[Lap 11]: Anyway George is closing up to Perez, and Lewis is slowly closing to Verstappen and Charles. the W13 has decided to behave itself.

“We are thinking Plan B” “Eh copy” Literally every time I hear that I lose years off my life. Someone save Charles from Ferrari pls.

Seb watch: back down to P12 after Sainz got past him.

[Lap 13]: and Sainz gets past Lance like slicing through butter.

SEB ONBOARD FINALLY

He’s chasing down lance but SEB SIGHTING!!!

meanwhile Ted’s doing some strange sweet shop analogy idk I was distracted by the Seb onboard idk I’m sure it made sense

[Lap 16]: “We prefer Plan B” Well, at least Ferrari haven’t gone down the list yet so I’ll take it

[Lap 17]: Also Sainz has just been storming through the field, up into P9 after starting at the back with his engine penalty

[Lap 18]: oh no

and paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

Charles into the barriers 😭

I could swear it was later on in the race but seemingly not.

[Lap 19]: And Sainz has a slow stop and unsafe release. Ferrari’s very bad not good race gets worse.

In other news Seb into P5 bc he hasn’t stopped yet so I think we should just stop the race and call it a day.

ugh that replay is quite painful

...and the scream on the radio was even worse. That is going to haunt me.

Welcome to Scuderia Ferrari where they do suffering, but in multiple languages, multiple times

Adding that throttle pedal to the list of things I’m going to take to a sledgehammer to once this season re-watch is finished

[Lap 20]: Right on we go

No Crofty I don’t want to watch highlights I want to burn Maranello down in Seb and Charles’ name

Not Zhou and Mick having an incident 😭

[Lap 23]: Seb watch: in P13 after his pitstop under the Safety Car.

“That is a slam dunk offence that you’re ever going to slam dunk” Peak journalism Crofty

Cut to a very desolate Ferrari pitwall. Hello darkness my old friend etc etc

[Lap 25]: Lewis sighting!!! Go get P2 King!!!

Sainz correcting Riccardo on what kind of penalty he has sdvhbhfuvgjh

“Meanwhile the fastest man in the pitlane is Ted Kravitz, on foot” Thanks for the clarification Crofty, though the mental image I had of Ted on one of Lewis’ scooters was very funny.

(sorry I’m still not over Charles radio that really hurt I’m trying to meme through the agony)

[Lap 29]: You mention Bono but we don’t get to hear from him? Rude

[Lap 30]: Seb chasing down Albon for P11 👀

oh Sainz v Russell was ever so slightly spicy, didn’t last very long though

[Lap 32]: Seb sighting!!!! Still chasing down Albon

Insert usual “AM pretty” livery comment here

Yes Crofty, we all remember the very comical Alonso train from Monaco. It haunts my dreams.

[Lap 36]: Ocon v Dan 👀

“Yes, yes, yes, Leave me alone” Lance Stroll telling off Brad or Kimi Raikkonen at Abu Dhabi 2012? You decide.

d’aw cut to a very happy Mama Gasly as he overtook Kev for P13 💙

[Lap 38]: Lewis currently 2 tenths a lap faster than Verstappen, I’m diving head first into the pool of delusion, knowing full well how the top 3 ends up

Kev and Nicky violence, boys no 😔

[Lap 39]: “We are considering Plan A” nvm Ferrari are back to flip flopping through the alphabet

In other news SEB INTO P11!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

[Lap 40]: Not Ferrari wanting to jump straight Plan D 🥲 HOW do they keep track of all these potential strategies in briefings?! 😭

afhufhahu Sainz wants to stop and Ferrai tell him stay out. Clownery on all sides.

also thank fuck only 12 laps left this has been a motor race

I am trying to figure out how tf Russel jumps from P5 to P3, unless Perez and Sainz take each other out???

[Lap 42]: Not Riccardo radioing Sainz mid battle????? Ferrari please

oh jeez Russell with the ultimate dive bomb in Perez. This is not the time for such violence George.

[Lap 43]: Sainz pits. Eventually.

I don’t even have the energy to comment I’m just done.

[Lap 44]: Perez v Russell take 2.

Or it would be, if George stopped arguing with the Merc pitwall about whether or not he was ahead of Perez.

(ty global feed for the Toto & Bono sighting though)

[Lap 45]: asdfvhafduvh Toto on the radio twice now, big parent energy.

Meanwhile Lewis in P2, seconds clear of everyone, unbothered.

[Lap 48]: Sainz up into P5 while George hunts down Perez for sport

go I want popcorn or a cushion to hide behind? I’m unsure

[Lap 49]: Zhou mechanical DNF 😔

[Lap 51]: Thankfully for my blood pressure Perez was having a little nap during the VSC and George got past him in two corners.

Though he hasn’t pulled away, Perez is hunting George for sport now

Seb watch: Half a second behind Lance in P11. Please remember your braincells lads.

[Lap 53]: George and Perez are still chasing each other. Some jaws music would be fitting here bc that’s what it feels like watching it.

And Verstappen wins again.

LEWIS P2 HELL YEAH!!!!!

Podium on your 300th race? KING SHIT 👑

AHHHH AM ON AM VIOLENCE BOYS PLEASE

fuck me that came out of nowhere I DID NOT BREATHE

anyway the Lewis, Bono and Toto radio exchange was v wholesome 

WHEW. Much to unpack, not a lot of it fun. The race was a bit of a slow burn, and the George v Perez battle was great if not somewhat stress inducing. But unlike Austria where the short lap means the cars stay together during the race, Paul Ricard being such a long lap meant everyone was quite spread out, so there was not much midfield spice.

6 front wings out of 10. Next race - Hungary!

[bubmyg]

there was no particular reason i wrote all this down other than reading the translations to my universe made me cry last week because i’m just Like this. this is a mini compilation of yoongi lyrics that i hold gently in my palm and close to my heart in a he’s my artist for life kind of way. these aren’t all my favorite yoongi lyrics, i certainly have more but not ones that fit this general vibe. 

this is like extremely disorganized, i kind of just wrote it like a journal (and i’ll probably copy it to my bullet journal at some point actually). interpretations are my own, music is cool in that we can all read and hear the same thing and get different things out of it (which is why yoongi has often said he doesn’t attach specific meaning to things, giving it up to the listener instead)

so yeah. here’s me being fond of yoongi in 4k for no reason other than. idk. i wanted to. all translations are from doyoubangtan and doolsetbangtan. 

song request - lee sora ft suga

“I’ll be with you, for your birth and your end; That you’d remember that I’m with you, wherever you are; I’ll be a comfort for your life at any time, and so; please, that you’d lean on me and take a rest, every once in awhile.”

to me, this perfectly encapsulates what creating music is for yoongi in a two-fold kind of way. not only does he want his music to be a source of comfort for those who listen to it (just as the art of music is for himself), he’s also consistent in his assurance that taking a rest is okay. not being okay is okay. simply existing for the time being is okay. it’s a gentle empathy that comes from the experienced heart of someone who’s not going to tell you that it is okay, but will tell you that it won’t always be like this. friendly little moon trying to get you to smile with him on sleepless nights.

so far away - agust d ft suran

dream, will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships

this was on my undergrad graduation cap. it’s one of my favorite lyrics of all time. if so far away is my heart song, this is my heart lyric. this is a common motif in yoongi’s lyrics; dormancy is only temporary, you will bloom at the end of the cold winter.

dream, hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life

creation to end is another common motif n his lyrics. in this specific context, i imagine it to most closely be analogous to holding dreams close to you your entire life. dreams are dreams no matter how they manifest, even if they’re simply something you long for until your “end”.

Hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life; It will be generous to you wherever you stand; It will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships; The beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will the future be

the entirety of this song reads like a story and this last refrain reads like the conclusion (kind of). the slight wording change from the previous choruses means a lot in that regard, more definite and firm. you will be okay. maybe not now, maybe not next week. but you will be.

suga’s interlude - halsey ft suga

Though the dawn before sunrise is darkest; don’t forget the stars you longed for only rise in the darkness

just a really pretty but heart wrenching lyric in the context of the entire song. he’s also used this metaphor several times. i love me a good string of consistency with minor adaptations to fit the vibe. this song also made me cry the first time i read the translations lmao.

my universe - coldplay ft bts

Because the trial we face now is just for a moment anyway; All you have to do is to just keep shining bright like now; And we will follow you, embroidering this long night

this could mean so many things depending on how you wanted to contextualize it. of course the song is about love, so you could view it in that way. we’re in the midst of a global pandemic where we can’t see each other. or maybe it’s simply existence. continue to exist and one day your bright light will be followed even in the darkest of nights.

also the og title of telepathy being 잠시 (for a moment) is so...min yoongi you are so cool

people - agust d

Did someone say humans are the animals of wisdom?; The way I see it, humans are the animals of regret

Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries; Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries

super simple to understand which i think makes it more poignant. especially if you contextualize it with everything he’s said or written regarding the plight of fame and how he himself grapples with it as min yoongi.

28 - agust d ft niihwa

just this whole song. if song request encapsulates yoongi’s musical ethos, this captures a lot of his general musings.

paradise - bts

Just living like this, surviving like this, that’s my small dream; Dreaming dreams, grasping dreams, breathing breaths, it’s often too much

a more blunt take on the simply existing is a good enough dream. yoongi’s 2018 new years message was one of the things that made me go “yes. Him™” so paradise is very <3 for me

interlude: shadow - bts

Flying high scares me; I mean, nobody had told me; how lonely it is here –;how my leap could be my fall

another thing he uses frequently, even as recently as an interview regarding permission to dance. the contemplation of how a fall is far scarier than landing because getting back up is uncertain.

Yeah, I’m you and you’re me, do you finally get that now?; Yeah, you’re me and I’m you, do you finally get that now?

the entirety of this song is haunting particularly paired with the sampling and the music video as a visual but this part is just...the whole idea of competing internal voices throughout the narrative of the song or if you’d rather truly treat the lyrics like a piece of literature, you have quite the unreliable narrator, one that’s trying to grapple with his own sense of self.

140503 at dawn - agust d

Pretending that I’m not lonely, pretending that I’m not suffering; needlessly pretending that I’m okay, and pretending hard that I’m strong; I built a wall in front of me, “Don’t come inside”; I’m an island in this wide ocean, “Don’t abandon me”

the entirety of agust d just makes me ache but i mainly pulled this part because he uses the island metaphor consistently. here, it’s used like i said before; achingly.

this song also gets overlooked a lot in the larger context of agust d but anyway

eight - IU ft suga

Island, yeah this is an island; a small island that we made for each other; Yeah, mm, forever young, the word ‘forever’ is a sandcastle; A farewell is just like an emergency text warning of a disaster; A morning met together with yearning; As each of us pass this eternity, we’re sure to meet again on this island

can i be honest and say i forgot this song came out at the beginning of the pandemic. anyway, if you haven’t heard the various times that jieun has spoke about this song and it’s conveyance, i encourage you to. the music video also gives a beautiful visual.

i wrote a small analysis of this when it came out so i’ll just put it here 

burn it - agust d ft max

I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage

of course this can absolutely be taken at a literal meaning especially considering he said a similar iteration of this to someone on kkul fm BUT i also like looking at it in context of the entire song because maybe this is him trying to convince himself too, especially considering the wording of the last chorus doesn’t change it so it implies in order to get past the fire u need to let it burn first? burn it = giving up on some aspect of pain?

i see why max didn’t shut up for eight months about making this song i wouldn’t either hello

outro: tear - bts

im including this one firstly because i love the song but secondly to say i knew the second u all were surprised by yoongi saying he wrote this as essentially a break up song for bts and they all cried while listening to it that y’all don’t actually read or interact w their lyrics fjdklafjsd

just bc it’s a rap song doesn’t mean it’s a diss or a flex. weirdos.

intro: never mind - bts

I hope you forget about all your mistakes and such; Never mind; It’s not easy, but engrave this in your heart; If you think you’re going to crash, accelerate more, you idiot; Never mind, never mind; Whatever thorny path it may be, go run; Never mind, never mind; There are a lot of things that you can’t control

the entire composition of nevermind is similar to first love and shadow to me where you can just hear the emotion in his voice while performing it

this is also another general idea that he mentions a few different times through different songs which as we’ve seen i am <3 for

intro: the most beautiful moment in life - bts

once again i don’t have a specific lyric to pull i just love this song so much and i feel like it isn’t talked about enough because first of all the use of the basketball throughout the instrumental, the incorporation of the origin of his stage name into an entire song regarding his general existence as a performer and coming into the beginnings of sizeable fame, and just his general way of essentially writing one giant ode to something he loves and analogizing it to something else he loves to talk through internal struggles.

aka im once again saying min yoongi you’re so cool

first love - bts

same line of awe from above this whole song is just a story, a poem, a journal entry, a beautiful confession, i don’t know. this is yoongi’s best bts solo u can argue with a wall about it also if you were able to see this live i hope u have a terrible week (im joking)

every fancam i’ve ever seen of this makes me cry. so. do with that what you will in regards to how i feel about this song.

[the-ruby-squad]

THOUGHTS ON BLUEBIRD, WHAT SHE MEANS FOR EYEBALL AS A CHARACTER, AND WHY SHE RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY (a personal opinion, admitelly sorta rant ramble)

I have... A lot of mixed feelings on Bluebird and what her existence means for eyeball's character, to say the least (since eyeball is a character i care about a lot)... quick warning that this is less of an actual coherent post and more or less just spilling my brain thoughts with words

On one hand:

it's good that eyeball at least has someone now... I think?? (I say this with the benefit of the doubt, Hoping/assuming bluebird isn't toxic) considering how many times we've seen her pining over relashionships

the whole "we hate Steven so fucking much let's make out" is so fucking funny imo

On the other hand:

As funny as bluebird is as a concept, I would of preferred eyeball getting any chance at redemption for several reasons, of course, that warrants its own post for another day, but the main tldr is she has many issues that she could of confronted and learned to deal with in a healthy manner, but instead, she was kept as a perma villain despite other characters having done much, much worse things with less reasons for redemption, but ultimately being forgiven, which almost feels... insulting? In a sense

Why. Why aquamarine of all characters. aquamarine and Eyeball never had any actual similar grounds prior to bluebird, so it feels like it came out of nowhere, to me, Bluebird's existence really comes off as"so what characters have we Not redeemed. can we slap them together"

A relationship held together purely by shared hate is more often than not toxic, and bluebird has some implications of being a toxic relashionship with the analogs to malachite in both appearance with how she looks with splotches of green, similar powers (water wings and Ice power), and even how bluebird irl is found in malachite (courtesy to Eyeballpng for Pointing this out), I really REALLY hope these were unintentional and not meant to imply a toxic relashionship because if it was indeed intended to be toxic, than that makes the choice to keep Eyeball a perma villain feel even more... gross? (for a lack of a better word)... it's like... instead of giving her the chance to get better and to heal, a chance that was given to folks even as bad as the diamonds; she is instead put in a toxic relashionship (made worse when you remember the numerous times she looked sad about others in relationships) while also giving her no chance at redemption or even closure.

Idk. It feels... generally eugh that while almost everyone else gets at least something nice at the end of it all, Eyeball gets outcasted, put into an implied toxic relationship, and never gets any form of real closure or even a chance at redemption like?? WHAT??

[birb-tangleblog]

Hello! I've been wondering what the origins of each of the members of the Brotherhood could be. Like, if they are native to the Dark Kingdom, if they are noblemen/peasants... What do you think?

Hi anon!! Thanks for the ask!

I tend to headcanon that Adira and Hector are both orphans in some way, and probably share pretty similar backgrounds- just with Adira having more social/community support, and at least some people who looked out for her, while Hector was left on his own.

And I think that's prob a pretty common take, but like with Hector in particular (and Adira, to a lesser extent) I think it's honestly just hard to imagine someone with a well-adjusted, stable upbringing growing to be so extreme and intensely dedicated to their cause.

(Like if you assume Edmund or another royal took Hector in, gave him a home, fed him, and made him into who he is, then of course he's going to put him on a pedestal and not want to go against him. In comparison, Adira and Quirin having more external support and a wider perspective gives them more to base their sense of identity off of. And you can kinda see how that plays out w/ where they each ended up.

+ I think Hector having that added emotional baggage to unpack is interesting. ANYWAY-)

So my take is that both Hector and Adira were orphans, who became wards of the DK after someone saw a spark of potential in them and gave them the offer to begin training as squires.

Before that, I think Adira did have people in her life who loved her- parents, extended family, or other members of her culture/community- but they just weren't able to take care of her, or they passed away. Maybe she left so as to not be a burden on them? With Hector, idk if I think his bio parents even died early on so much as they just didn't want him- him being a street kid is my hc.

They lived at the castle (where they met Quirin), received an education, and worked their way up to knighthood/formal initiation into the Brotherhood. I imagine Brotherhood training is... a very encompassing and rigorous process, so that exp prob brought the three of them together, and their bond helped them to succeed. :>

I think it'd make sense if they met as little bby knights adjusting to their new lives, but I'm also very fond of the idea that Adira and Hector knew each other prior? And were this pair of urchins scraping by together. Only ever having each other to depend on really just adds to that childhood best friends, "nothing will ever come between us" dynamic that I'm a sucker for. And it makes for an enduring bond- there's obvs still a lot btwn them even so many years later.

The Flynn book also gave us Maeve! And I'm totally here for her being this figure in their upbringing later on- a matronly lady getting after them for being scamps, but still slipping them extra bread rolls and pulling strings for them on the sly. Maybe teaching life lessons or helping them out socially, too.

Based on Adira's Korean-inspired char design and the presence of Hector's binturongs (which are native to South and Southeast Asia) I actually kinda lowkey HC that one of the DK's neighboring countries or trade partners is analogous to SE Asia? And that Adira's family either moved to the Dark Kingdom from there before her birth, or she's mixed!  (Maybe they moved due to war/sickness/famine  and that's also how she lost her parents?)

Quirin and Hector both have that archetypal DK look, like Edmund- tall, dark hair and eyes, widow's peak, prominent cheek bones- so I assume they and their parents were native to the DK.

Re. Quirin, I've said this but I like the thought of him coming from lesser nobility? Maybe a distant cousin of Edmund's. Or just having a background of more privilege and stability relative to the other two, with his parents there for him, and that giving him a bit more emotional distance from the Brotherhood and moonstone, along with more of an ability to envision/want something else for himself in the future. 

Quirin’s family name is on the side of a building somewhere in the DK, and Hector and Adira are the scholarship/grant kids of the Brotherhood.

(And I think having that bg in addition to being a knight also adds more meaning to him rejecting all of it, and choosing instead to settle down as a farmer later.)

Though, even if his parents weren't nobles and were... craftspeople or merchants or what not, I can still see him being a bit closer to Edmund/having more of a peer relationship with him, and just naturally picking up on court life + focusing on studies/politics more than the others, which eventually leads to him becoming a leader and Ed's advisor/right hand man.

I hope this whole thing wasn't too disjointed lmao. Everything about the Brotherhood's origins is pretty much fanon and personal pref, and I'm p flexible w/ HCs! But I'm always gonna go for the origin story and beats that have the most emotional pay off to me, yk?

I'm pretty picky abt the popular trend of treating the bros as literal siblings, but I do get a kick out of how much speculation and different ideas there are about their pasts- it's prime free real estate!

[mowu-moment]

i feel controversial & i care too much, so here's my des rocs complete tierlist

ranked list & reasoning (ish) under the cut

1. WAYNE: hoholy shit wayne. can hardly put into words how explosive this one is to me. the intro sets a Whole Mood before swiftly (& cleanly) smacking it down into an Absolute Banger and i don't use the term lightly. very hard not to scream along with it. only detriment is that wayne the person is kinda an ass in the mmc video but that's no qualm

2. POS: basically the same thing as wayne (oh both have great lyrics btw, this one more so), only gets points knocked for being 2 minutes long and having 30 seconds of that being intro & outro. go danny give us nothing

3. WHY WHY WHY: there's a theme among my top picks--they're all hard-hitting w/ killer guitar. the lyrics are absolute batshit in a good way, but the chorus is a lil flat & i feel like in general it just needed a touch more spice to score the top spot. or maybe it's just seniority & it'll have a coup a few months out idk

4. DEAD RINGER: similar killer guitar & lyrics but this one is Groovy as Hell. don't particularly like his singing in this one & it's too repetitive if i'm feeling grumpy but there's something so magic about after the bridge. top 10 songs to twirl a flag to

5. NOTHING PERSONAL: the minute long outro irks me & it's a little bit empty but plays into that well. groovy, great lyrics, the Sexiest Guitar Solo of the lot, the screaming's a minus but it does have an emotion there. not entirely sure what one but it's there.

6. LET ME LIVE / LET ME DIE: his first time being all over the goddamn place, history was made. amazing guitar, a little worse lyrics than 1-4 i'll admit, the intro Slays me both in a good and bad way. must be a joy to play live where he can just drag out that intro & bridge as long as feels right. at least i liked it in the digital concert like that. would actually kill me in a physical concert, imagine how much stomping gets going to that beat. bonus points for presumable cowbell

7. PIECES: for once not this high for the guitar & lyrics, they're both kinda basic. idk what's about this one but it just takes me to a separate dimension & i love it so much for that. really fills those earholes. also a bit of personal meaning, heard it for the first time on the day we moved into the house i'm currently split-custody-living in (is that tmi?) & the first music video of his i saw. man i love some spaghetti on the wall

8. SLO: basically the same as dead ringer, but knocked points for a kinda lame outro & the subject matter being a little less interesting to me. still lovely.

9. HANGING BY A THREAD: not my normal fare really & the way that the ends of the verses don't really fit in the pacing of them is bleh, but it's just so reminiscent of the songs my brother puts on whenever we hang out together that it just makes me all warm & fuzzy. it's also nicely put together which is something i'll have to start saying for. the later list.

10. SUICIDE ROMANTICS: this is where i start griping about head voice & higher pitches in general. don't like em so the pre-chorus is a lil annoying. also not my normal fare but it's tender & the ending is awe-striking. imo better live where he's loud on that last line before the final chorus. not enough to bump it up though. shoutouts to love and a smoking gun, i still am dying to hear that one

11. THE PAST HAS PASSED AWAY: my favorite lyrics out of the first 2 ep's. only thing wrong with it really is the bridge getting kinda repetitive. love that last chorus heehoo. same schpeel as the Banger Category

12. MMC: this one's lower than the rest of the Bangers for being pop punk which is something the radio has made me dislike, i guess. that trope with the guitar in the second half of the chorus just kills me so much. improves greatly during & after the bridge, love that lil ragtime piano. generally the same bit as before but i do love him doing something un-romance-related. yeah fuck the establishment!

13. THE DEVIL INSIDE: reminds me A Lot of the electronic-ish cassettes i've got from the early 90's but that's just me. this one will probably move up as i get more used to it, but only a little bit. the first part of the second verse makes me like. genuinely uncomfy? but the second part of it's fantastic. ending's ass though what happened to the instrumence. bonus points for using 'reverie' that's an SAT word (maybe). good singing but returning to the gripe at higher pitches, just a little bit though

14. THIS IS OUR LIFE: feels shockingly generic for a des rocs song tbh but there's nothing really wrong with that. adore the bridge. singing's alright. kinda miffed that he doesn't pronounce the 'f' in the second 'life' in the chorus, but it makes sense here. that sort of thing won't later so i'm bringing it up now. guitar's nothing spectacular but fits nicely into the song, probably one of the most cohesive of his (especially in recent history).

15. OUTTA MY MIND: really lives in the same space as slo and dead ringer do in my head (most likely the 'songs to twirl a flag to' zone), but this is by far the worst of the three for when i'm grumpy. just. Very repetitive. back to great lyrics here but it's kinda hard to pick them out (i've heard the song at least 100 times by now & i'm still missing a few lines). still groovin'

16. RUBY WITH THE SHARPEST LIES: what the fuck actually goes on in this song by the way? not the premise or whatever it's just. so all over the place. the verses are incredible but bringing in another vocalist just for one line kills me. bridge is really cool but that one part i don't remember where it is, the one that alternates basically nothing & an Electronic Piano Chord blaring at ya? ruins it. partially anyhow. also can someone tell the people on genius that it's 'carved it in my skin' not 'crawled down in my skin'

17. GIVE ME THE NIGHT: same repetitive issue as outta my mind but it's not groovy enough to save it, shame. feels like a trial run of all the wackshit stuff he's been doing recently, with the additional vocal bits at the end & the kinda weird lyrics. it still has a place in my heart don't get me wrong but it's just fallen in favor of stuff that Commits to banger or batshit (or actually pulls off both strongly, yyy). oh yeah nice guitar alright singing etc etc

18. USED TO THE DARKNESS: similar story to give me the night. i love it i do, but it's just lackluster nowadays. also remember that under-pronunciation thing i brought up in this is our life? this is where that comes back. rampant i tell you! that second verse he just doesn't finish the words & i hate it!

19. DON'T HURT ME: i honestly don't know why this one isn't in D. the chorus bit where he just cuts it short is irksome. the lyrics aren't anything special. i don't know what i like about it. but i can tell it does exactly what it set out to do if that makes sense. respect, respect. and using missile in an analogy, he's getting creative with the vocab

20. LIVING PROOF: kinda got a vendetta against this one i think? i don't know why i hate this one but i do. it's just kinda, blah. like the perfect sort of thing to nightcore up. sentiment's lovely & i do love the lyrics even if they aren't impressive but like. it bores me to an extent

21. TICK (LIVE): separating the version i heard in the digital concert just to give it some credit, this one was actually kinda nice. another one with a nice sentiment & what he was going for is great. no clue what the second part of the second verse has to do with any of this though. and it also begins our final group, the songs that just feel empty. like there's not nearly enough going on. this one's alright though i was just hoping the studio version would add some flair. you can see where that one is though.

22. IMAGINARY FRIENDS: also got a vendetta against pop. kinda hate the sentiment here (contrast!), the chorus just falls short of what the verses prime me for, head voice is rampant, and yet i still swing along to it. it's infectious props to him. love the outro though, monkey laugh and all.

23. MAYBE, I: another empty one, like it's a four-note progression what is that. love his singing in it, and the chorus parts do round it out, but like. eh? it doesn't even give me much to say.

24. BORN TO LOSE: another flop on the chorus! too smooth i say! and i absolutely Despise the pitch-shifting thing going on. not something i was expecting him to express so points there, lyrics are nothing fancy to my Literary Mind though. initially good singing but the chorus he's just sloppy over it. the instrumental is lovely but the vocals just throw it so hard into the bin which is a right shame. fuck that outro too i hate that gimmick

25. I KNOW: here's where the bad batshit comes in. singing is some of his worst imo, does the other-vocalist thing for that bridge, genre i'm not fond of, just a soup of Stuff I Don't Like. not one i'd kill someone over putting as #1 like i can see where it comes from but. mmmmmhhhh bad. cover does NOT help his case.

26. HVY MTL DRMR: empirically i should put this one higher. but the chorus flops so goddamn hard it deserves to be in the bottom of the barrel. the verses are lovely for what he was doing back then! but then just... nothing!

27. RABBIT HOLE: i was so excited for this name but it's just sad boi hours playlist curated by some corporation you hate. probably the most nothing of them all, genuinely where are the instruments. what happened. was this one just shoehorned in as the final track just to pump numbers up. and i swear he had some autotune or something which only makes his voice worse it's fantastic naturally. also that's not what a rabbit hole is! that's not the idiom! a rabbit hole is when you go on a wikipedia spiral from jennifer lopez to group theory! not when you just have a shitty night's sleep or whatever this is! i'm not just miffed i'm downright annoyed

28. TICK (STUDIO): what the fuck happened des. how did you release this. it sounds like a 3rd grader singing for the school talent show it's so out of rhythm. singing's honestly kinda bad & the instrumental has the same problems i talked about in the live version. the last chorus is fine, i guess, but no i don't forgive him for what he did to tick.

[bigsteeb]

this is gonna be a long post so bear with me, growing pains got a b i g emotional reaction out of me & I need to share my thoughts & feelings about it because jesus fucking christ.

ok first things first, someone hug this boy immediately. he’s sat in his room, still in his pajamas, in day time watching dog copter. this whole scene is just steven going “lol I’m sad, I’m gonna comfort eat & stay in my pajamas & watch a kids show I watched when I wasn’t as sad haha” & it’s not only upsetting, but relatable too fuck. his room is a mess along with him eating ice cream at what I assume is morning�� making it his breakfast? geez steven. also idk if it’s just me here but in this shot he looks… bigger? like ignoring his body size shifting later on in the episode he looks a lot wider than he usually does when paul & drew board episodes to me, he’s rivalling etienne & maya’s steven’s wideness. did he… get chubbier from comfort eating? how much time has passed since together forever for him to put on weight if he has? this could literally just be steven slouching or his pajamas making him look bigger but as someone who is an advocate for the body positivity shown in su & suf it has me curious. I want to hug this soft, sad boy. It could also be due to how steven’s design fluctuates through the animation process, it’s never really on model all the time. 

the grunting noise he makes in this scene is very distressing, as are other moments from the episode too. a glimpse at the glow-bracelet he proposed to connie with is enough to physically pain him? fuck me man. is he leaving his room where there’s already ice cream… to get more ice cream? sobs. also the puns in this shot. I cant? slow burn?! you’re evil crewniverse. not to mention his body size changing throughout this scene, god this poor lad.

screams, this was when I started worrying. the boy is now in an environment he has never been in before & is feeling extremely uncomfortable & vulnerable. look at the lines under his eyes, his sad eyebrows & pout I hate it. also don’t even get me started on this part. the slight raise of a voice being enough to send him into panic?! fuck I hate how much I relate to that. 

here’s where I immediately broke, no god damn pun intended. seeing steven’s skeleton, steven’s fucking skull, like this pained me. that crack on his skull is from fucking jasper in jail break. I can’t express all of the visceral emotions that were going through my body at this. there was intense sadness for steven, extreme anger at jasper & the gems for allowing shit like this to happen to him. turns out he’s not as resilient as we thought he was. each hit he takes physically breaks him & then his gem instantly heals his wounds, my heart fucking broke at this. think back to everything that happened to him, everything that physically hurt him. it broke him I can’t deal with it! then there’s what priyanka says to steven next;

“you seem to of made a series of miraculous recoveries, but that doesn't change the fact that you experienced trauma. you’ve recovered physically but, have you recovered mentally?”

this part here along with her reassuring him that there’s nothing wrong with his brain, how childhood trauma can have an impact on how your body responds to stress & how you act in your social life, the usage of the word “cortisol” too. this stuff being in a children's tv show is incredible. the writing for priyanka describes trauma simply enough for kids to understand, but for adults to fully realise too. folks, steven has ptsd. there wasn't one bit of sugarcoating about it or nothing, this is canon fact & it hurts me. for so long have I wanted steven’s emotional issues to be alked about, to not only be brought to steven’s attention but to the audience’s too.

everything that has happened to him has built up to this moment. this moment where his behaviour & coping methods are finally making sense to a large majority of the fandom, & to steven himself. he’s hurting; physically, mentally & emotionally, & he isn’t coping well what so ever about it. his emotional support system is complete garbage, no one regularly checks in on him & folks just take steven at face value like “oh yea glowing pink? he’s fine it’s just steven” but he’s the bad person?! I hope a lot of you out there who genuinely believe steven is a bad person re-think yourselves after this. dealing with trauma is tough as shit. some days you even wonder if that one thing that fucked you up is really worth being labelled as trauma. I still can’t believe this is the route they’re taking, if he doesn’t get some form of therapy by the end of future I’ll be furious.

then things begin to spiral as he remembers what happened with connie. he clutches his chest in pain & begins changing size over intense amounts of stress & it was extremely distressing to watch. steven immediately reassures connie that this isn’t because of her, but because of everything else that happened to him. however. I believe that that’s a slight lie, he wouldn’t of spiralled if he hadn’t of remembered the proposal, steven you fucking himbo. he continues to reassure them both that he’s fine, just that he needs them to leave so he can calm himself enough to control himself.

then this happens.

“I. CAN’T. BE AROUND YOU RIGHT NOW!”

this was fucking intense. he means this literally in 2 ways btw. his body size shifting over the stress he’s feeling is a danger to both connie & priyanka in this moment, but it’s also because of how it started. being around connie hurts him. he’s not mad at her though let me make that very clear, just that thinking about what happened when he tired to propose to her is sending his head in a fritz. he did what he did full of confidence in together forever, for connie to then make him realise how silly he was being. these two are destined for each other, but that advice from ruby & sapphire has really fucked with him. he looks up to those 2, looks up to garnet, their relationship is so strong & stable. for them to give him that advice & to then scream “DO IT!” in his face is incredibly tasteless imo.

then greg gets here. I knew connie was calling for either greg or the gems when she was on her phone as she left the room, fuck yea connie I love you. the breathless, strained “thank you” from steven towards connie for calling his dad? g o d. connie telling him she’ll be there for him when he’s ready?! g o d. these next boards were done by rebecca, I knew immediately when I saw steven’s face. it makes sense that rebecca boarded these, because fuck. 

how do I move on from all of the stuff I’ve been through? how do I live life if it always feels like I’m about to die!?

I’m tearing up as I type this. when I first heard the leak of this audio I so badly wanted to believe it, but to also believe it was fake too. I was an emotional mess off & on for about 3 days over it because I couldn't stop thinking about how fucking distressing it was. like… shit steven. he seriously feels this. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain he felt just saying this in front of his fucking dad. he is hurting badly. this boy, this sweet sweet boy we’ve watched grow & develop into the person he is today is distraught about his future & life. it is… soul crushing to watch this. a group of friends of mine have found joking about the episode as a form of coping with the intensity of it & as much as that’s valid as fuck, any joke coming from this episode feels morally wrong to me. I can’t bring myself to join in it feels terrible even thinking about laughing at it to cope. I love them all, but I can’t bare myself to join them. this moment ending with greg comforting steven, telling him he’s here for him & all of his struggles, got me weeping. greg is possible the best father figure I’ve seen on tv, let alone a kids tv show. he’s amazing.

the final scene right here is lovely. greg making steven a hot chocolate & listening to him vent, reassuring him over his worry for his future. this right here is exactly what steven needs. someone to talk to, someone he could trust to talk about his feelings to. this the start of his support system, tag on peri from in dreams, bis in bismuth casual as well as connie from the past few episodes & it’s already looking great! even when greg eased him about being there for him steven still feels guilty about him leaving his tour, leaving his tour because he got a phone call from connie about his son being in need & steven feels guilty about it. fucking hell man. I did enjoy how the episode ended though, with that little moment between the both of them;

“just get some rest kiddo. you don’t have to solve all of your problems in one night.”

“yea. thanks dad.”

it’s a great message too, all of your struggles can’t be dealt with all at once. I’ve used a similar analogy before but it’s like removing a dead tree. you have to deal with all of the little things surround this issue first before you get to the deep, harder stuff. along side the message about trauma they’re both very important messages, I’m glad they exist in the show.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

one more thing before I end my thoughts & feelings over growing pains.

this ending shot;

as soon as I saw the frog mug my mind raced back to the promo for this scene, & this whole moment to come entirely. if you remember this moment has the first set of leaked audio within it, the audio of the gems basically cornering steven about him not opening up to them. christ pearl even gets mad at him for his gem building a wall behind him, protecting him from them. it’s common knowledge, I hope, that steven’s gem reacts to his emotional state. pearl herself has said this;

“I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind.”

his gem building this wall? it felt like steven was being threatened by them. this scene now has awful connotations with it. because since we now know what the pink mode is doing to steven, how actually painful it is, think back to these;

yea. fuck the gems. I’ll let it slide if steven, greg or priyanka haven’t told them about what happened at the hospital. but if they do know, if they know how much it hurts steven being in his pink mode & still press into him about it I’ll see red. with steven’s trauma & now ptsd being cemented into the show I fucking hope garnet, amethyst & pearl get held accountable for what they put on him as a kid. that shit will not slide with me if they don’t. do not condone what the gems put him through. do not condone the gems for making steven feel like he had to be his mum for them. just… don’t. please.

[waveypedia]

hi! since you are a bit of a writer yourself i am just wondering do you think there is a thing as "copying" other people's work i mean i know it is basically stealing if you just steal paragraph by paragraph and just change the names but what if i am feeling inspired by something? i just get tired of people being like "your characters seem a lot like these characters from this media" do i just need to work more on making my characters unique idk where i am going with this sorry dsjlkljfkds

‘’’’’Oh hello! Wow I’m honored that you asked me! It’s kind of a tricky and complicated subject but I don’t think so, unless you’re outright plagiarizing someone. The thing is, no idea is going to be completely original, right? The realm of human creativity just doesn’t go that far. Like say you see a squirrel and you think to yourself “Hmm I want to write a story about squirrels!” I guarantee there are already a bunch of stories about squirrels. But they’re probably not all the same as your story. That’s because even though you and the other hypothetical story writers took your inspiration from the same place, you both have a plethora of other ideas that create the whole picture. and those end up different from each other because your other ideas + inspiration came from different places. And you might take other inspiration from other places, but it’s still different from that other place because the other pieces that make up the picture are different. and so on and so forth. (i hope that makes sense KJDJFJ)

Taking inspiration from another piece of media to create something original is a common practice among creators. Not just from fan creators, but from original creators as well. Original creators are just like us - they’re fans of other things, and they love to show how much they love those things in their work. Where we usually do that by way of fanart or fanfiction, where we take a concept they made and put our own spin on it, with varying degrees of our own originality sprinkled in. (Obviously the majority of fan content pulls far too much from the source material to be fairly compared with original content that is inspired by other original content, but i have seen fanfiction that could genuinely be an original novel if they just tweaked a few things! i think some fanfiction has actually been tweaked and published as novels as well, though i haven’t read any myself. that i know of lol!)  Like if you listen to interviews or read posts by creators, they cite other media as inspirations a lot. some of them you can tell really easily - rwby and miraculous ladybug were both heavily inspired by anime (miraculous ladybug was magical girl anime in particular; I don’t know enough anime to cite a specific show/genre for rwby if there even is one); cuphead’s entire brand is styling itself after 1930′s (why does the apostrophe look like that) cartoons; and lin-manuel miranda’s notes in his Hamilton book are chock-full of references and inspirations he cited. Seriously, there are so many of them. like I think the biggest takeaway I could give you here is that creativity is  super original but also comes from a lot of different places and everyone, even original creators, take inspiration from all kinds of places! what really matters is the execution (which is why if someone steals your idea your job is to just do it better than them. lol)

Also sometimes people will end up with similar ideas out of complete coincidence and that’s still fine! Like Luz and Marcy both have similar personalities and end up in similar situations to the point where the creators have acknowledged and poked fun at it (bubbly, neurodivergent-coded tween girl with a huge imagination unhappy and undersimulated at home ends up in an isekai-situation with an otherworldly mentor and flourishes) yet their stories are completely different. and for the record I can’t really say if this was a complete coincidence because Dana Terrace and Matt Braly are friends and I have no idea what went on behind closed doors, but if nothing else it speaks to how you can take inspiration from other creators in the same genre/with the same audience and still create something largely original.

also re: the not unique enough thing, there is a comic on tumblr that is extremely inspired by miraculous ladybug (characters, artstyle, vague concept/plot), written by a ml fan, and consumed largely by people in the ml fandom. it has a steady following (to my knowledge - i don’t actively follow it myself, although I do like it). It’s kind of like that “two cakes” analogy you see sometimes when people talk about fan content that’s similar to another (which is kind of a different facet of this conversation) - people like to see things similar to things they already like. But this comic also has a lot of original lore, plot, etc that separates it from miraculous ladybug even though it’s so similar! so please don’t worry. your creations will always be inspired by things you’ve consumed/you like, whether you mean them to be or not, but they’ll also always be your own. That’s the beauty of creating!

[everything-laito]

Hey i love your blog and every analysis of laito you write :) i have a question because i've been rewatching dl rn. So in ep 4 where laito and yui are in church, the dialog in which laito explains that praying and believing in god will neither safe nor help you, has been really bugging me. Reason is because he says it with such a serious face and tone in his voice that i keep wondering if there was a time where he actually believed in god himself and stoped doing so because of obvious reasons?

Omg thank you so much! I’m so glad you love my blog! Hehe I love writing analyses about this guy, he’s so interesting :’)

You raise a very interesting point, and it seems that you like paying attention to the small details, which I love! Now, to answer your question! Analysis under the cut! 

The simple answer, is no, I don’t believe that he believed in god at one point specifically. However, I do believe that him “believing in god” is analogous to Laito’s jealousy of Yui; his inner cravings of wanting to undo the sexual abuse he went through. But, before I get into explaining, let’s pick apart the context of the scene first! 

I believe the point that you’re talking about is when he approaches and grabs Yui at the church altar, after she pushes him away and causing his hat to fall off. 

“You seriously believe in Him? You think that He will help you if you believe. Are you stupid, or are you naive? Maybe you’re both. Either way, you’re simple-minded. I find your innocent appealing, Bitch-Chan. However… There is nothing to believe in , and you need to do more than pray to accomplish something.”

“But I will still pray, and I will still believe!”

“You’re at your best today, Bitch-Chan! I will now expose the lust that lurks inside of you.” 

I bolded the portion that you may be talking about. He calls Yui innocent and naive, simple-minded, and innocent for believing in god. From my many past analyses, I have mentioned how Laito projects himself and his issues onto his victims. In this case, he goes from belittling Yui’s belief in god to then abruptly saying what he’s going to do to her: “expose the lust.” This might be an interesting topic change, but it is definitely deliberate, in my opinion. Although Laito is a master of topic changes to avoid certain feelings or confrontation, he is also a very deliberate man; riddling his speech with double-meanings. In this case, belief = purity, and Laito wants to make it so Yui doesn’t believe in anything but him (by the end of his route in HDB at least), since he wants to project and have control over someone. When Yui is being stubborn and says she won’t give up on her beliefs, he takes it as a challenge. We know he likes it when people resist, and he considers Yui a challenge. 

I believe his serious tone and demeanor in this scene is caused by jealousy. We know Laito can be a very jealous person, whether it’s a part of his facade or not. I believe he’s jealous of Yui and how care-free she was before she was caught in his web. I think that he says that beliefs won’t save her because it was what he has learned. He thinks he’s too far gone and beyond fixing, so he projects his issues on others to make himself feel better (again, traditional bully/power insecurity response here) or as an indirect revenge on Cordelia for making him this way (I use “making him this way” loosely though; although most of his facade is Cordelia’s fault, it was also the setting in which he grew up in). 

He probably wishes he believed in something more, considering he’s linking it to Yui’s innocence. He wants to have his “purity” back, since he never asked to be abused in the first place (I mean, nobody has). He says that he’s gonna “expose the lust” inside of Yui to try and break her (and in HDB, he pretty much does). 

He says, “no one has ever been saved by their belief” at the end of the episode too, which I find interesting as well. What does he mean by “saved”? Saved as in being helped out? Saved as in the more religious sense, as in going to heaven? No, I believe he means “saved” as in that believing in something, whether it be a religion or not, doesn’t save people from any kind of harm in the world. Nobody’s immune to anything; that’s just a fact. Even if you isolate yourself your entire life, you’re still susceptible to mental health issues, for example (since hardcore isolation is never good—we’re social creatures after all). Laito probably believed in something at some point. My guess is probably Ayato, when they were kids. Maybe even Cordelia, at one point, since he did view her as his mother for the longest time. Cordelia broke that trust in the worst way, and now he’s beating himself up because he probably blames himself for all the things Cordelia did. 

As for Laito specifically believing in god, I know all the Sakamakis are like “pfff believing in god? Lol we’re vampires” (which idk how being a vampire has to do with practicing a religion lol; maybe cuz they’re sacrilegious symbols??? Idk) so might be an x to doubt for practicing a religion. But this was super fun to think about! 

So, lovely anon, with your attention to detail and curiosity, you have made such an interesting take on his character, I commend you! Thanks for poking at m’brain! Hope you enjoyed :) 

-Corn

[mallowstep]

I kind of wanna do the feral cat colany AU you mapped out but I kind of wanna keep the toms somewhere but idk where they would go like they would live in the clans teratort but not with the clan?

so okay, my initial thought process here was to keep them like, on an outer circle? i'll draw a pic and add it to the bottom just gimme a sec to explain okay.

so basically, IRL, feral cat colonies live pretty similar to the way i described (to article anon — i'll check it out in a minute! since you sent an article i want to make sure i have time to read it when i respond), which you can find here if you haven't seen it. (i mean, not you, anon, the hypothetical others.)

right anyway.

they also live pretty similar to the sisters? real feral cats, that is.

toms hold down territory, although they're usually fairly willing to move, and it overlaps with but does not strictly contain colony territory. uh, to return to the apartment floor analogy, toms might control various hallways, but not the actual apartments.

soooo how to translate that into a series with a lot of male protagonists? (i mean, first off, princess would be the mc. she'd b great at it, too. she'd be friends w sandpaw and, okay, beyond the point.)

my suggestion is to make a ring around the clan, and put the toms there. they're allowed into clan territory, mind, but only on the graces of the clan. they can be driven off and banished, if they're rude. they're also allowed to hunt, but they're not supposed to hunt on clan territory first, since they control their own territory.

i'll draw a lil map to try to clear it up.

first, so we’re all on the same page, this is roughly what the territory looks like. i’m aware there’s a canon map, but i specifically wanted the map to look like this, because i made things...make sense, in terms of the ecology.

this is roughly compatible with the canon map, though; the details are unimportant, i just wanted to get everyone oriented. if you can’t read my chicken scratch: orange is moor, dark blue is marsh, dark green is pine forest, and light green is deciduous forest. the light blue is a river, i forgot to label it in this round, and on the left, in very light grey, twoleg place.

okay, cool. now, the camps are located roughly:

windclan’s camp is off the map. windclan’s external border is a farm and a highway, so actually, when i say “circle,” most toms really live in a crescent shape. there are definitely some toms on the moor, but not most of them.

trying to drawn in clan boundaries would be difficult, but here’s roughly how i imagine toms being. (i’m going to redraw/simplify the map first hold on.)

okay, this is much harder to read than i wanted, but basically, each of the clans has a clearly defined no tom zone, and then the dashed lines represent clan territory.

the toms have dens outside it, but to be part of the clan tom group, you really have to be within, maybe like an hour’s walk? depends. an hour’s walk for a cat, mind.

hope this helps!