#idk if it's boyish necessarily

[little-pup-pip]

could I have a puppy/angel themed board please? without pacis and more boyish?

Here you go!!

[sugarbbgrl]

biker!141 are big, mean looking men. they’ve done things the average human could never even begin to imagine. they answer to no one but themselves.

but when it came to you, these fearsome men caved almost instantly.

“what’s a pretty girl like you working at a place like this?” the man with dark hair and muttonchops, the name ‘price’ patched into his cut. “you don’t seem like the type to want to interact with sweaty men all night.”

“oh is that right?” you snort, wiping down a few of the freshly cleaned glasses. “and what type of girl do i seem like?”

“you belong in a museum,” the man with a a faux hawk and scottish accent begins, presumably ‘soap’ from his dingy patch. “you’re quite the sight for sore eyes, lass.”

you shake your head with a bright smile, the attention being solely on you at this point isn’t necessarily a bad thing; you’ve got nothing better to do.

“right you are, soap, i could look at you all day." the boyish one, 'gaz', rests his chin in his palm.

"although the flattery is much appreciated, i still have a job to do." you lean over the counter. "what'll it be, boys?"

"you, of course." price winks at you, resting his forearms against the bar. "but i guess i'll have to settle for the next best thing: a pint of your finest."

while pouring their drinks, the one who hides behind a skull balaclava, 'ghost', speaks up. "you never answered the question, love. what's with being a bar maid?"

"well, if you must know," you slide the full glasses toward the men. "i run the place. it pays the bills and i meet interesting characters to fill my time."

"love me a working woman. when we getting married?" soap asks after skulling his drink. you smile and shake your head, taking the empty glass from him.

"need a ring first, hon."

the weeks following the first interaction, they'd made it apparent they were making this their new hangout. they'd bring you all sorts of gifts: namely homemade meals from gaz, a new cut from price with the word 'birdie' patched on, a golden necklace with a small motorcycle pendant from soap, and an assortment of flowers from ghost.

"i know it's not a ring, but you seem more like a necklace girl if i do say so myself." soap pointed to his gift hanging from your neck as you put ghost's flowers in a vase.

"very observant, soap. gold star for you." you pour them their usuals, sliding their glasses to them.

"didn't know what flowers were your favorite so just got the ones that reminded me of your beauty." ghost grunts, a small smile seen under the mask.

"yeah, and i didn't know what you like to eat, made some simple spaghetti because who doesn't like spaghetti?" gaz eyed the tupperware container you set in the mini fridge behind you.

"you four are too much, y'know that?" you snickered and shook your head, shrugging on the leather cut.

"ay, but who wouldn't want the spoils, birdie?" price winked at you, admiring his gift fitted on you.

the most important thing was you felt safe around them. they'd take time out of their visit to escort a rowdy patron, taking their place as your own personal bodyguards. they made sure no one messed with their old lady, most would be too scared to try just by the sight of the four big men surrounding you.

idk how much i like this but i haven't written in a while and had this drafted for a bit. enjoy babes!

[missing2socks]

My Miguel O’Hara Headcanons! (18+)

fem!reader, 18+

CW: descriptive talk of kinks & body stuffs, pure smut and lewdness, sex, more sex, and my darker hcs at the bottom.

You’ve been warned :-)

Oh Miguel where can I even begin

Tall, strong, and handsome. In his younger days he’s buff and muscled, peak physique with dark brown hair and a smooth complexion. Thick brown hair slicked back, every chiseled part of his face visible to everyone around him.

When he’s an older dilf he’s got a little bit of a dad bod, still buff but he’s still got it. Hair still slicked back and dark brown eyes that could melt your heart.

Sure he’s stoic and comes off as crabby and rude but we don’t care :3

I never see any tomboy representation so I like to imagine his type is a strong willed tomboyish type of woman. Does it matter how she looks? No! But me personally I like to think he loves women with short hair, an attitude, and boyish mannerisms.

It doesn’t matter how tall you are— he’s always taller. You could be petite or curvy and he’ll still toss you over his shoulder and make you beat at his back to put you down.

Now into the NSFW 😏

Miguel, the thick man he is, has a fat cock— just difficult to stretch to his size. It’s not impossible but somehow it feels impossible when it’s stuffed in those guts mmmhhhh and it goes so deep it’s delicious

His dick stands proud at 7 and a half inches long, and is thick like a mf. I like to imagine he’s uncut and it’s slightly darker than the rest of his body. Thick veins that you can trace with your fingers or your tongue, his cock swollen and slightly redder at the tip than the rest of the member. Tilts downwards for the best gspot stimulation and slightly tilting towards the left…

Don’t think his sack won’t do anything because when he has you bent over in doggy the way those nuts hit the clit is so !!!

In bed he’s dominant and mean, having you helpless in his arms while he makes you a whining, whimpering mess under him. Soft dom, only a hard dom when he’s had a bad day at work or is pent up and angry.

He will fuck anywhere, anytime, and he has a ridiculous amount of energy. It’s actually unfair how he can go round after round without getting exhausted. Both of your sweaty bodies laying on the bed, you’re sore and used and you feel him stiffen and slowly push back into you, kissing you to hush your whines as he quickly picks up the pace again.

Predator/prey dynamic 😋 as a vampire he loves marking you up and leaving hickeys and love bites everywhere visible and invisible. He’s yours and you’re his, his precious little mami.

Service dom 100% AND a praise kink that drives you wild. Showers you with praises as he bullies his thick cock into your pussy. He loves to make your orgasm, never having the heart to deny you the pleasure of cumming for and on him.

“Mi nena, you’re doing so good taking it all, mm, t’so good amor,”

“Give me one more, baby, jus’ one more cariño, don’t cry just let me use this perfect pussy tonight…”

Breeding kink. Round after round of rough fucking and he’s still not done— being his universe’s spiderman gives him an unfair amount of stamina during sex— filling you over and over with his seed until you’re slightly bloated and dazed.

And when you get pregnant he’s all over you, showering you with love and affection for the baby in your belly. And he has a deep carnal desire to fuck you deep and sensually while you’re swollen with his child, his mouth latched onto your leaky, milk-engorged tits.

My Darker Headcanons below!

CW: somno, CNC(?), free use, more edgy fantasy but not necessarily dead dove do not eat (idk)

Turn back now, you have been warned

I fantasized that Miguel just wants to take reader captive & use them as a toy, to fuck senseless even if they’re whining and protesting and clawing at his back it’s just so hotttt

You’ll beg and whine and plead for him to go easy, take a break, and he shuts you up with passionate, sloppy kisses before he cums deep inside you. So deep, you’d think he’s trying to get as much of it as possible directly into your womb.

And he’ll fuck a baby into you trust me, he’ll be so happy that he can’t help but give you more after the birth of your first baby, just a few more, he loves stuffing his loads into you and seeing you slowly grow his baby.

Definitely into the free use kink or even somno…

When he comes home from a rough day of being spiderman, he sees your soft sleeping body in one of his shirts and he can’t help but nestle behind you, pulling his half-chub cock out and lazily dragging it between your folds. You wake up to the feeling of him pushing his fat cock inside you, and he covers your mouth before you can make any noises.

He’ll sink his fangs into the soft flesh of your neck, groaning as he hears your soft muffled cries, stretching you around his girth and slowly rutting inside those slick walls.

Or for free use maybe you’re spiderwoman from a different universe and he sees you and he can’t help but feel horny and aroused seeing you in your spidersuit but you love being bratty and misbehaving… also goes back to the predator/prey dynamic

He’ll track you down and corner you in a dark alleyway, throwing your small body on the ground, tearing off your suit and having his way with you, rutting into you and forcing you all the way down on his cock while his claws dig into your skin. Your helpless moans and cries go unheard as he groans filthy words in your ears, snarling at you to shut up and take it.

And when he’s done he’ll leave you to pick yourself up, of course after giving you feverish kisses and love bites to your neck to remind you that you’re his and only his. But he’ll leave you, pussy swollen and his cum gushing and pooling between your legs, thighs twitching and body trembling from the orgasms he ripped from you.

Oh but I’d still give him a bit fat sloppy kiss :-)

[mono-red-menace]

sorry just thinking about how often growing up i'd do things and be so full of shame and try to hide them and not know why im hiding it

like listening to britney spears or watching "girl" shows or playing with my sister's dolls or playing my sister's dating games or like all of that stuff.

like. i mean it's not necessarily that i didn't know why i was hiding it, but like. not knowing why i couldn't stop myself from loving them? yk?

like why did i feel so drawn to do "girl" things? even through the shame? even though i had to hide it? even though i'd risk getting caught?

why did i feel like i Had to do it?

why was i so drawn to the books targeted towards little girls that were my age?

why did boy things not really interest me?

i spent so much of my time growing up doing things boys were "supposed" to like to do, pretending i enjoyed them, to cover my shame, which was that the things i enjoyed the most were things that boys Weren't supposed to enjoy.

i liked playing with my sister's dolls and i liked my sister's games and i liked my sister's shows and i liked my sister's music and i liked girl things and i hated guy things and i didn't even realise i felt like this until i was reading if i was your girl lately and i was reading about the character and thinking about how she's kinda a stereotypical trans girl and then. i realised.

like uh

the barrier over my childhood broke down. and i realised how my childhood was balancing the shame of my girliness with the facade of boyishness.

and how for literally my entire life i was a stereotypical little girl. i was girlier than my sister. i liked girl things more than her and liked boy things less. i liked playing with her bratz dolls and playing her dating game more than she did.

but i wasnt Allowed. yk?

and like this wall is just Open now yk?

and im remembering in whipping girl how julia serano talks about how things like this are somewhere between nature and nurture

bc like if it was entirely nature. then why would we have girly boys and boyish girls?

and if it was entirely nurture, then why do the girly boys and boyish girls persist Through societal pressure against them?

shouldnt the pressure drive them away from that?

and maybe its because the only people i felt safe around and loved by in my life were women, yk.

and its fully 100% nurture and i just didnt have a man i felt safe around. so i naturally developed into a girlier boy,

but also like maybe there Is some nature to it. maybe im just naturally empathetic and sensitive and artistic and all of those things, and maybe those natural qualities in me lead me toward "girl" things, even though im not supposed to like them, yk?

idk.

[anakin-vaders]

Unpopular opinion but so far Lestat and Gabrielle's relationship isn't as weird as some of y'all made it seem. Like, they eat and kill people, there's not much things that can make them be worse "people" they're undead, human morals don't apply here.

I'm really interested in how Lestat feelings for her are not necessarily bc she's his mother, but rather bc she looks like him and he likes that, and bc she's having boyish attitudes and on the end bc of the vampire bond??? Like he described his feelings for Magnus similarly so...idk. I'm halfway TVL and yeah it's weird, but also Lestat is pretty much like, you're no longer my mother, you're Gabrielle. Idk.

[natdrinkstea]

Zelda 3 - L + un

so this one isn't writing as much as it is a little thought exercise @haijinks and I use to keep each other occupied and it is What Would Our Perfect BOTW/TOTK follow-up look like?

putting this under a cut :) it's long :)

our basic premise so far (Nintendo you can pay us $10000000 to use this) is that it's about five (maybe ten?) ish years post totk and link is visibly older! late 20s, early 30s, less boyish and more of a Real Adult. He's still getting used to having Both Arms Again, but in general everything is Normal now? Rebuilding after the Calamity is near finished, Tulin and Riju are all grown up (😭), and in general everything is chill. until! inciting incident! don't freak out, but Ganon's once again trying come back. BOO! but in my vision his soul or whatever is a sort of shooting star, a meteorite slowly falling from the sky directly towards Hyrule castle. (Imagine a huge ball of white-red light hovering above the castle throughout the game. UGH. isn't that COOL).

Guess Link is back at it again!

Because I miss them, Link has to go on a little cross-country journey, Zelda in tow, to attempt to convince the Sages/Champions to- you guessed it- BRING THE DIVINE BEASTS BACK! and he has a little quest in each region similar to botw where we get to reprogram each divine beast to aim its laser towards the Ganon Meteor. in these little quests we get to see how the last fifteenish years have really impacted the people of this world- two world-ending catastrophes that close together have got to leave a mark. how did Tulin and Riju manage growing up in Revali and Urbosa's footsteps, and having to save the world so young? Is Yunobo cool again? Is Sidon still hot?

our idea for the Gerudo/Naboris quest specifically was that just before the time this takes place, word got out about the existence of a young gerudo who (gasp!) is a boy. this isn't necessarily bad, but after ganondorf everyone's a bit on edge. so, zelda and link go to check it out, and learn that this kid's totally normal, just a bit desperate to prove his worth after being Hidden In Shame for so long. it'd be sad and about generational trauma or whatever

other things of note:

-> ZELDA DOESN'T DISAPPEAR IN THIS ONE! She actually travels with Link for some of the more plot-heavy portions of the game! I think she maybe provides some cool mechanic or something, like the memories in BOTW but if they weren't pictures. Maybe she's just a walking sheikah slate/purah pad lmao. AMD SHE CAN BE HELPFUL IN COMBAT. somehow. we haven't figured it out. can you summon her like the Sages? who knows

-> similarly, Zelda was fucked up big time by the Dragon-ing and I think another main quest has something to do with the fallout of that. maybe her cool powers are fucking up, or she has scary nightmares about being a dragon again, or visions or smth. idk man. wouldn't it be cool though.

-> link gets a third set of cool new superpowers. no ideas for what those would be

-> you can sit down whenever you want in this one

-> MY BIGGEST NEW ADDITION: because totk introduced the sky islands and the depths as new areas, we have ... drumroll.... two new divine beasts!! that's right, in the last few years people have made these areas hospitable and that means they need a giant robot animal too. to fit in. In my heart the depths beast is a snake, with the mechanic being that it's coiled around a huge stalagmite and you can rotate it up or down from the map. the sky one is a dragonfly!!!!!! and maybe it flaps its wings in a fun way! who knows!

-> you can decorate Link's house in Hateno however you want. just because I want to

-> nothing about shrines yet! I'm thinking maybe a weird mixture of the botw and totk ones? but we're not totally sure.

-> At the beginning of the game Link decides he is Retired and puts the Master Sword back!!! By the Deku Tree! so you have to get it back! but it's different this time somehow. somehow. we don't know everything.

send ideas if u have them!!! this is basically fanfiction

[internetmisfitsworld]

So the reveal trailer just dropped. Got some thoughts running in my mind and here's a few of them:

So, the rumors are true. Julian Kostov is Makarov. And I'm not sure how to feel about it.

Am I happy they still (yes people. he has always been attractive. go look up his concept art) choose to make him hot? Of course. Grateful even. I pretty much swore if they pull a Shepherd makeover on him, I'll lose it. However, am I happy with how he looks? Not really. Was hoping they cast someone that, while not necessarily have to look the exact the same as OG Makarov, at least have the same vibe. (Idk how to describe it but yeah I hope it makes sense lmao)

Idk what age Activision intends to make him (mid 30s? early 40s?), but that man looks late 20s 😭 . I'm not saying he looks.. what's the word? boyish? but yeah something similar I guess.

I know Activision must've noticed the hype of making villains hot, and I agree with that thought but why they made him "pretty boy" looks?

For me, Makarov have the appearance of "unconventionally attractive". He have that sort of rugged face with scars all over, dead predatory bicolor eyes. Basically, dude actually looks kinda old and you can get the hint that he was a veteran. Unless Actvision really do intends on making the new him younger and have a different past, well okay then. Also, I know the lighting wasn't that good in that prison, but it seems like he no longer had heterochromia. Welp.

Speaking of veteran, I'm curious if they choose to keep his past the same as before. Was he in the army? Was he ex-Spetsnaz Captain? Same reason for being discharge? Same place of birth? Well, I guess we'll have to see in the next trailer. Or when the game comes out. I swear if they turn him into some kind of Non-Action Big Bad...

No sign of Yuri. Wonders who will play him. Will he looks the same as before? (you know what? forget i ask that.)

Even more funny twist if they decides to just forget about Yuri (don't you dare Activision).

Soo his tattoos. I don't wanna comment anything about it since I don't have enough and proper knowledge of Russian prison tattoos, how it works and stuff. So, I'll just leave that alone. It does looks good though. But funny enough, someone at tiktok said he lowkey looks Jared Leto Joker. Even the hairstyle. Ofc, not the colors though. And now, I can't unsee it either.

However, I do appreciate how obviously intimidating his presence affects the other prisoners. Just a shame about his face though.

On a positive note, I'm excited to see how the event will unfold. From the trailer, there seems to a few glimpse of missions, some of those looks like No Russian even?

Another one of my "in denial thoughts" is, what if the whole prison thing was flashback Makarov? And in the present time, someone else plays him? (yeah yeah i know. i'll stop ✋️)

To conclude, I hope at the very least in this new version Makarov, they give him what the OG Makarov lacks. Proper characterizations, motives and in-depth personality. More than just "hohoho evil russian wants to take over europe".

And no, I'm not asking Activision to gives justification of his actions. Yes, he's evil. Yes, he's a murderous maniac. No justification for that dude lol. I just ask at least give us a peek of his past life. Who he was and who he could've been.

[neonstatic]

i've made some big realisations today. first, the issue i have w the person who i think hates my guts is just that they don't react to me the way i want. i'm a people pleaser - we already established this, so we know it runs deep and while it does not make me inherently fake (trust me, i'm not bending over backwards for ppl i truly dislike, i have a little dignity), it does make me act a certain way if i feel like ppl are slipping away from me. i can get a little...ciingy? desperate? i dunnooo it doesn't necessarily show but emotionally i'm often in the trenches.

so yeah, this person is more distant than i want them to be... so what? they're allowed. we don't have to be besties. they got their friends and i've got mine. i shouldn't feel so attacked by the fact that they don't feel the same way abt me. no matter how (supposedly) charming i make myself, i'm not entitled to their attention or special treatment. and just bc i'm not getting the reaction i'm seeking doesn't mean i'm doing smth wrong or that they hate me. it's not that deep, ray. and if to feel ok abt it, i have put in less efforts on my end, then sure! and then everyone is happy and all is well c: i was making it out to be sooo serious when it didn't have to be. sometimes ppl don't care for you as much as you do... life goes on.

second realisation or rather confirmation... is that i rly wanna go on t! when i think of the future and i imagine myself looking the way i do now, i feel pretty...disappointed. resigned even. like, oh i guess this is me lmao. but when i think abt the best ver of myself? it's a short, pudgy, lowkey buff person who's kind of pretty in the face. and idk that it would change much abt the way i dress, i might own a lot less dresses, but nothing can keep me away from skirts. my beloveds...

anyway yeah! i gotta find the right time to tell my sister. probably soon. idk abt my family tho :// tuesday my dad was here and my sis showed him pics of me in my most boyish looks and he looked....speechless? but he saved them right away cus he says he has v little pics of me on my own. which is true, i hadn't realised that. he's got bunch of pics of me next to my sisters when we were little but they're waay outdated. but yeah i jokingly asked him what he thought of his son and he just didn't say nothing, just kept looking at the pics. i feel like he got his own kind of revelations that night.

(also my sisters and i discussed what kind of names the parents would've gotten had they had a son and we agreed on francis, w frankie as a nicki. i'm mulling it over... tossing it around in my head like a ball... the only sure thing is that i will forever be Ray!)

[msfbgraves]

(Daniel does like pregnancy sex, because for the first 8 years of his marriage, it's basically all he's ever had!) Lmao, bless him, constantly with a cute tummy and all. So…what’s sex like when Danny isn’t pregnant then? Can Terry be less…idk, “considerate” and does Daniel want it a bit…again, idk, rougher? Like some wild sex lmao. And when Daniel was pregnant, has any Alpha touched him in some way, even just a small touch because he’s so irresistible during this time? Did Terry lose it or did Daniel not mind—after all, Omegas are very physical, right?

First of all, this is omegaverse, so you shouldn't disregard heats. All bets are off during heats. Those aren't cuddlefests!

Secondly, I think you can be considerate without necessarily being soft all the time. It's simply paying attention to what your partner wants, too. To speak with Terry, it is perfectly possible to give someone the ride of their life while caring about their pleasure. His Danny quite likes - well that's none of your business, is it?! When he's not pregnant or nursing, yeah, maybe he's a bit more boyish at times. A bit more playfighting, and yet he can still be so soft it breaks Terry's heart.

About the touching, I've gone into that before and sometimes Terry will allow touching during dancing at parties. Can't really be avoided. May even be a little treat. But especially during family affairs on either side more casual touching happens and it leaves Terry seething. If it happens at his house that Alpha would have to be a particular brand of stupid, and if any of the young'uns get any ideas, there's usually others that jump up like "nope, nope nope!" and stop them before it happens.

[Why then does Terry allow them at his house? Exposure therapy. Can't have a job go south because the other side throws in an omega and a young Alpha completely loses their head. It's happened before. Like this, they learn how to stay on the damn job.]

Daniel btw is the one who is very free with his affections. Anoush is much more reserved among strangers, Johnny is masking so much he doesn't know what to do with himself.

[arsenalgbt]

Kieran's first issue is definitely him not thinking Willo is equipped to giving Ben and Ethan the necessary support. Ben talked to Kieran a lot about what things were like with Kalvin and what things were like after Kalvin. He'd always had a protective streak but when Ben started therapy and anti-depressants, Kieran made a vow to himself to not let Ben fall for someone unsuited to his life again. Kieran thinks Willo is unsuited because he's young, he doesn't have a direction in his life, he barely seems to know Ben when he brings him along to a WDBz night. Kieran thinks Ben is falling for someone who doesn't fit. Rob would have fitted hence why Kieran was so determined for things to work out between them.

A large part of his issue is definitely his own insecurity about his background and how he fits into everyone's life. He thinks Ben, Leo and Dec grew up very sheltered and very naïve. He hasn't ever been able to shake the thought they all have this rich twat innocence about them nobody how many times Leo tells him that it's stupid and untrue. He thinks they are all too trusting of Willo from the start. Kieran knows people, he knows they lie and cheat and abandon people without much thought. He's distrusting and Willo gets the brunt of that. Kai didn't get the exact same treatment because Dec made it clear there was no other choice but Kai from the very start. Kieran doesn't have to afford Willo the same kindness. The only reason he doesn't interrogate Willo the first night is because Leo digs his nails into his hand every time he starts to.

WDBz is an important dynamic for all of them even if nobody but Leo is really willing to admit their love for the others aloud. Kieran is protective over the group and he remember that Ben didn't necessarily make him feel very welcome when he and Leo first got together. Kieran is sort of projecting that on Willo - 💙🤍KT anon

EATING ALL THIS UP YO

Kieran thinks Willo is unsuited because he's young, he doesn't have a direction in his life, he barely seems to know Ben when he brings him along to a WDBz night.

OH

I can totally see willo adorably wide eyed, handsome boyish smile when decs share an anecdote from his and ben's prep school days lmaoooo while kieran quietly sipping on his whisky, brain fuming; "how the fuck does this kid not know anything about ben????" WHILE ben is practically halfway in willo's lap lmaooooo QUESTION; do u think with willo, ben will sleep with him easily? like? sure he bounced back after having Ethan, but like? and in my head, willo doesn't actually wants to sleep with ben... because he thinks if he sleeps with ben, ben won't take him seriously in the long run LOL DOES THAT MAKE SENSE

back to it;

A large part of his issue is definitely his own insecurity about his background and how he fits into everyone's life. He thinks Ben, Leo and Dec grew up very sheltered and very naïve. He hasn't ever been able to shake the thought they all have this rich twat innocence about them nobody how many times Leo tells him that it's stupid and untrue.

YOU. GET. MEEEEEEE. 100% fuck!! and willo's parents are well-off, but deffo not in Leo decs and ben's league. willo himself is basically a kid lol. KT tells himself that ben is just being generous, is just humouring the kid (blame ben for 'always complaining' about willo in my arranged marriage au lol)

Kieran is protective over the group and he remember that Ben didn't necessarily make him feel very welcome when he and Leo first got together. Kieran is sort of projecting that on Willo

OH SNAP!!!!!!!!

in reality, ben is humouring rob on dates. his mind always wanders to willo. is it alright if mummy ben, older, is the one being horny towards willo lmaoooooo they deffo need to fuck eventually........ idk.........

[blackasmyhangryfurrybrokensoul]

I don't know. It scares me. I don't want to live a life where I'm fighting with the person I love. I don't want to life a life begging to be heard. I don't want to live a life where I don't feel loved. But I don't want to live without her.

I guess it's a mirror.

I'm sure there are things about this she doesn't want to live with, but she still wants me. She'll put up with it for me?

It sounds so ridiculous. Maybe that's where the line sits. She'll deal with anything, she's brave enough to. And me? I'm just scared. She has more faith in me than I have in her.

And I wish she could understand my fear. I wish she could see my face drop when she starts telling me how I fucked up this time, just so she'd understand where I'm coming from. I wish she would tell me she understands why I'd be bothered, understands my concerns, even if she's pissed or hurt or offended. Like I'm so much more open to understanding knowing the other person is actively trying to understand me too. We've had too many arguments where I just feel like the conclusion is she's right and I fucked up and there can't be anything deeper than that. I don't want that.

Idk I want to hear a thank you from time to time, when I've managed to stay calm about something I usually freak out over. I don't think t's cuz I deserve thanks for the bare minimum, but cuz I'm trying to improve. Hearing it only after arguments kinda... idk. I feel like shit after arguments.

Idk. I'm the psych nerd here, not her. I understand the power of reinforcements, she and most people probably don't think of it this way.

I feel like I messed up. Logically, maybe things should end, if we aren't understanding each other or seeing each other trying. But that's not what I want, or feel should happen. That's not what she claims to want or feels should happen either. It's frustrating. And idk. These arguments happen and I get scared that this will always happen, that no matter what I do I will be the asshole, I will be the one at fault, no matter how much calmer, how much more patient I become, all I will hear is what I'm doing wrong. Okay not ALL I hear. Just. When it means the most. I don't want to be hurting her and I don't want to disrespect myself and idk I feel so hopeless.

And I guess I wanted her to realize all that. I always hope that she'll see the fear behind my words and come to tell me it's okay and that my heart is safe here, that she sees me and hears me and she isn't ignoring the things I say, even if she doesn't necessarily feel able or in the mood to do them. (And I guess she is trying to say that but idk it doesn't reach me in a comforting way). That it means something to her for me to want to do things with her. That I mean something more to her than a retreat and a saviour to her soul. That I will mean something to her regardless of my personal impact on her. I want to feel loved. Not needed, not wanted, just loved.

I know I'll love her regardless of her involvement in my life. I love her for her character, not her love for me or how she makes me feel. I guess I want to be loved the same.

And I guess I want her to remember the things I mention and bring them up without me asking, from time to time. This is something both of us probably want more of tho. A show, a restaurant, a nice gesture, a certain kind of date. Maybe I have amnesia, I did start taking notes so I don't forget.

And I guess I want to hear her sing along to the songs I've sent her when I play them again in her car.

That she's listened to Placebo or Palaye Royale or Nothing But Thieves, not cuz she likes them, but to get in my head. Like I do with Taylor Swift and some other songs she's liked.

Idk I feel like I sound boyish asking for all of this. I think this is why they tell you to take care of friendships too. Ugh. I want her to be my everything tho.

Idk. It all felt like too much. I just wanted to run away, like I run away from everyone else now. I don't want to be pushing her away, but it feels so scary being close, expecting things, and then being told I'm wrong. Idk. It's like I'm wrong for wanting that love. My parents have made that clear, my friends have made that clear, now she is too, unintentionally I think but yeah. I feel so guilty for asking for anything, and I'm supposed to keep asking anyways but I'm also always wrong for being disappointed if the answer is no. I don't feel like asking anymore and I don't feel like seeking out affection anymore. I'm not sure I even should expect love from people who claim to love me anymore. I'm not sure I'm ALLOWED to want love from anyone anymore.

And the cute disorganized attachment in me is considering turning avoidant now :) I don't think I even wanna try to argue anymore. If she wants to be right, she can be. If she wants to be mad, she can be. If she wants to tell me what I'm doing wrong then, by all means, she should go ahead and say. I don't plan on retorting or explaining or anything anymore. I just want peace and to not lose her.

And if I did end up running away from it all and sticking with that decision- well it would be a mistake, but I would live with it till I couldn't anymore. The art would be incredible, I can tell you that. The void in my chest would let you see the wall behind me too. Idk. I'm so used to pain and being alone that it doesn't scare me anymore, it's my comfort zone in fact. Losing people is what I'm used to, it's scary seeing such commitment after learning that throwing people away is normal. And it's confusing when I try to give commitment back and it's suddenly not reciprocated and I getting taken back to all those friends and bawling my eyes out over ppl that don't care about me and I get so scared and upset. Like what if it just turns out the same. And THAT is the problematic part. And idk what to do. Do I not reciprocate? Do i give and expect nothing in return? Do I expect stuff? How do I learn to sit with a "no" and not feel my whole world crumble into chaos? How do I learn to sit with the discomfort of rejection? How do I sit with this fear? It's not her problem, I have to figure it out, but I feel so lost, and it's hurting us.

[bisluthq]

Uh. Haylor was real to Taylor. She was still frozen at the age she became famous, and years later she still says she likes those boyish looks. Harry, meanwhile, was just living his high school crush on Taylor(according to his cousin she was one.) I never became famous, but I like those boyish looks too. My boyfriend is 7 years younger than me. The timeline doesn’t fit for Matty Healy to be on 1989.

Bestie, I'm not saying "Matty is on 1989" - I'm saying the Haylor narrative that you've somehow come to believe falls apart if you examine it closely because of situations like Matty which happened during 1989 era.

She was clearly hung up on Jake for a long ass fucking time, so yes she then dated much younger guys because I believe she thought they couldn't hurt her (this makes more sense to me than her just being stuck at 16 although that is something she's talked about a lot but she's also spoken an even greater amount about how deeply Jake fucked her up). Nothing - tbh not even in her music - suggests that Haylor was a super deep thing for her. Harry, on the other hand, has a song where he's upset she told him she's writing something and then claimed it's not about him (so it's... maybe not about him??)

I'm also not sure what "boyish looks" means to you but it's not really necessarily age dependent. Tom Hiddleston has boyish looks. Joe Alwyn does too. And it's not just her bfs - Jesse Spencer has boyish looks. T.R. Knight has boyish looks. On Tay's men, Tom Odell - who was around and who also contradicts the Haylor popular narrative - also has boyish looks (not great ones but boyish). It's usually used as a description of a look - it does not refer to dating people who are much younger than you lmao tho you're welcome to do that as long as you're all consenting adults. Good for you and your much younger bf.

ALSO ALSO ALSO - GUYS IDK ANY OF THIS FOR SURE BECAUSE I AM NOT TAYLOR. IDK. If Haylor The Epic Love Story makes you happy like obviously believe the fuck out of it and look at edits and imagine songs about them and the concept. But you don't KNOW that. You just want it to be true, and y'all usually have close to 0 evidence for it but sometimes things just make you happy. So if this makes you happy, okie dokes!!!!!

[pineappleciders]

hey!! i saw that ur writing reqs were open and i was wondering if u could write (platonic) hcs of the main 4 finding out their friend, reader, is trans ftm?

++reader transitioned before meeting the main 4 and is afraid of revealing it to them, worried that their relationship as friends might change somehow or they might not even see him as a guy anymore

take your time!! i love ur writing btw !!!!!!

sp main 4 finding out reader is trans ftm

A/N: thank you so much!!! i can do a mtf or nb vers for anyone who wants it :) i'm sorry if anything is offensive or anything!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: some transphobia on cartmans part (i know this sounds bad but jsut read it😭) and probably some talk about dingalings and hoohas (very briefly)

stan marsh

he's curious about it!! like he'll ask a bunch of questions about how you found out and what it means and stuff

he honestly probably doesn't know a lot about it before u explain it to him. like he knows people are transgender but he never learned about gender dysphoria or why people transition

he might ask a few,, personal questions. he genuinely doesn't mean to be rude or weird he's just curious !! will stop and apologize if you are uncomfortable

"seriously, you don't look like you were born a girl. i never would've been able to tell."

it might make him question his own gender??? like he might talk to you about it sometimes and he explains it as 'not really feeling like either a boy or a girl'

other than that he doesn't really care, like he doesn't treat you any differently. honestly he probably forgets it if anything😭😭 like in the T.M.I. episode he asks why you aren't lining up to get ur wiener measured and then he's like oh yeah oops i forgot💀

kyle broflovski

"oh. really? like, actually? huh."

he's honestly just confused as you've never said anything about it before. he might ask why you didn't tell him but when you explain he understands and tells you he wouldn't view you differently no matter what

"i mean, i think it's stupid that some people deliberately go out of their way to misgender people. like, you've been a boy and i've always seen you as a boy, so why would i purposefully make you feel bad? that's just stupid!"

he appreciates if you teach him a bit more about it, 'cause he doesn't know a whole lot

i feel like he'd purposefully do more,, boyish things with you???? like he invites you to play football or play video games more or like idk. do boy things.

he doesn't do it to single you out, he just really wants to make sure you feel like you fit in with the rest of the guys, so he's always inviting you to meetings with the dudes and treating you like a brother

eric cartman

i feel like there are a lot of different ways this could go, but mainly i feel like he's never actually going to view you as a girl?? if that makes sense

like he'll make fun of you and probably tease you (similar the whole sand in kyles vagina thing and calling him ms. broflovski and shit yk??) but no matter how much he tries to crack transphobic jokes he still sees you as a guy

he honestly might be a little uncomfortable at first because he feels like you're 'a spy for the girls'. but he quickly gets a stern talking-to from kyle and at least doesn't voice that opinion anymore

either way as much as he hates it he still sees you as a dude, if anything it just makes him uncomfortable to think about ur (or anyones) sex so he just goes with the flow. literally dress up as anything and he'll treat you like it. he doesn't want to put that much effort into caring

so yeah he makes fun of you and misgenders you but not in a genuine way. he can try but he still views u as one of the guys so he just accepts it and moves on. again he doesn't care enough to dwell on it

kenny mccormick

he might ask a few questions like stan but he genuinely on god fr doesn't care. it literally does not affect his view on you at all

he doesn't necessarily fully understand what being trans means but he doesn't really need to to understand that u are what u are. like if ur happy being a dude then be a dude he doesn't get what's so hard to grasp for some people

kenny isn't really one for labels. he also hasn't really explored his gender and stuff and honestly?? he doesn't plan on it. it just doesn't matter to him, he's fine with just living his life (when he's actually alive and living it)

even if he does have a few erm personal questions he keeps them to himself. he knows it could be a touchy subject and he really just thinks that whatever you were born as isn't any of his business

he will defend u whenever you face harassment from certain people, like he honestly just tells them that it's not their business and to fuck off. he mostly jumps in because he knows it probably hurts to hear stuff like that and tries to tell you that it doesn't matter what other people think, all that matters is that ur happy in your skin :)

[evansbby]

Okay, idk if it's just me but for poyt I feel like the best ending is that Y/N is like uhm okay Steve is kinda weird, cute ig though. But then this dude Ari shows up and Y/N realizes her self-worth and Ari supports her and she just leaves Steve... And then Ari is like also a crazy alpha but not as toxic- lolll I'm just saying this is best-case scenario

Ari: Babygirl, if you come with me right now I'll treat you like you deserve to be treated

Y/N: How am I just supposed to just know to trust you. You only know me cuz you're on Steve's football team.

Ari: Well I'm also a lot more of a grown man that's ready to be good to you. Plus I've seen you around before. I mean steve tried to show you off a lot even before he started really botherin' you.

Y/N: You know I never even wanted an alpha necessarily. I don't think it's very smart to go from one to another.

Ari: Hear me out... you don't need Steve, all he does is hurt you, he brings you around other mean alphas like Bucky and Sam and lets them push you around because he's too much of a pussy to be that committed to loving you.

Y/N:💀🙄

Ari: Look I don't know how I could prove it to you in these 5 minutes I have with you at every party we see each other, but I'm far more mature than that little boy Steve who is being boyish and taking everything out on you. He has problems that shouldn't be yours. But I can't lie, a part of why I'm telling you this is cuz- I- I really like you and I just want better for you. You're not the same as every other slut Steves taken around for the past years. You're just too special to be wasted by him. And I think I could really show you a better time. A better life. Just please, think about it and tell me when you know what you wanna do.

Y/N: Well, it's getting a little too late to stop making dumb choices it seems. Both options for me here seem stupid though. So I go with you... what? Steve gets super mad and probably fucking kills me. And you. I stay with Steve and never see you after university, and kinda be stuck reliant on Steve forever... Yeah no matter what this seems dumb. You'd probably just make me dependant on you too and have a whole demented plan for me just like Steve.

Ari: First off, no baby, I wouldn't. If you come with me at some point, we'll go at whatever pace you wanna go. It will be quick though, just cuz I'm that irresistible you know. Yeah just kidding with you, but seriously. I can tell you're sure considering going with me. So what does that say about you being with Steve in the first place?

Y/N: Fuck. What's your plan anyway? Steve's gonna be upset okay.

Ari: Don't you worry about him. He'll find another omega as fast as he went from Sharon to you I bet. Maybe a little more time though, just cuz you're a hard one to forget... But if he's not fine and decides to come after you, nothing will happen as long as I am a man on my feet. Steve couldn't take me down if his life was on it. I'll take care of him before he can lay a hand on you baby.

Y/N: You know, you're a sweet guy...

Ari: Well you're the sweetest thing to ever meet my eyes so please, say you want me as bad as I want you.

Y/N: Fine. You're everything I could ever want.

Ari: Thank you. And that's why you're my babygirl now

Y/N: Sure daddy

Ari: *pulls Y/N into his chest and speaks softly to her

"Well, go pack your things while I and the boys distract Steve with drinks for a bit. Knock on the door when you're ready to go. Text me when you're done and I'll pick you up. Cya soon baby..."

-Ari Levinson

OH MY LORD I REALLY WENT OFF DIDN'T I

Lmaooo this made me chuckle!!! And as much as we would all love alpha!Ari to sweep reader off her feet, she only has eyes for Steve😌 and if Ari took her away then Steve would probably kill him with his bare hands😌😌

[jeanvanjer]

I really enjoy your commentary!

I agree that Colin comes off as virginal, even if he’s not necessarily a virgin (I’m guessing he is not post Greece). He’s really boyish and immature and will be a very different type of romantic hero than Simon and Anthony were. I think S3 will have to be a simultaneous coming of age story and love story for both Colin and Penelope. I also agree that the show totally fumbled the opportunity for growth they had with two seasons leading up to theirs.

We know Edmund was married very young - I think they’ll play this up - but Colin at 21 doesn’t seem husband material at all. Penelope is equally childlike and childish, despite running LW and having a mature voice in that. Idk - I’m curious to see how it all goes. While having one very young, naive person in a couple opposite an older, wiser one is standard (season 1), I’ve personally never read any HR like what S3 seems primed to be. I think the YA label could be apt. YA doesn’t necessarily mean sexless (though I don’t see the chemistry yet so those scenes could be awkward.) But Penelope and Colin are both very jejune and S3 should have comparatively lighter themes than S1 and S2. I think they could easily come off as two kids playing house, even though Penelope at least is at an average age of marriage.

Thanks! I dont know why but thanks 🙆🏽‍♀️

The whole coming of age love story would've been nice and believable if LW wasn't so drastically changed from the books and if the whole Marina subplot didn't happen. But it these things did happen and it's not as simple as some people play it off to be. We can't look at LW and Marina's story with the eyes of today and that is the biggest problem that I feel like people have when they easily dismiss LW and how LW played a role in Marina's story. I don't think s3 is going to be as light as people are assuming it to be. I'm imagining a lot of angst and drama and not the good enjoyable kind.

I can't see them two maturing mentally and falling in love at the same time. While I didn't enjoy the book as much as I hoped, Pen wasn't the pining mess she is in the show. She's a beautiful girl and the writers should've had her move on from Colin in S2 if they wanted to focus on Polin in S3. Show! Polin is at such a weird place and what I've seen so far has me concerned with how they'll go about it.

It'll be dumb if its just an easy journey and HEA for Pen in just 8 hours. She has a lot of growing up to do when it comes to her role as LW and Colin? Colin needs to do something thats not Pen related.

I really wish they stuck to the book ages for Polin.

[xivvins]

Okay well due to high demand (like. three people asking for it) I will post some headcanons. Bc who am I to deny the people what they want?

Keep in mind I can’t fucking write without rambling and going way off track so I’m sorry lol

So first and foremost; I think all the other poets would ultimately be accepting/supportive, despite their reservations or their misinformed views. I know it’s 1959 and they’re a bunch of teen boys yada yada, honestly idc. In fact, I think it would be wildly out of character for them to be intentionally rude or hateful towards their friend. They are very protective over Knox, in particular (which is especially clear in the book, imo) so I think the poets would be very scared for her, if anything. They’d definitely refer to her as a girl in private, but obviously not just casually out and about.

Also I don’t think Knox would’ve ever discovered her identity had it not been for another, maybe older, queer person talking to her about it, if that makes sense. Like her describing the feeling and them introducing her to the concept of her being lgbt. (Sorry if I’m not explaining that great, if you couldn’t already tell it’s hard for me to write these thoughts down lolol. I digress). Maybe McAllister (just based on the car scene in the book, it seems like they have a familial/friendly relationship. Idk I could make a whole other post about McAllister lmao) or Keating, but I don’t think Knox would’ve ever come to the conclusion/connected the dots on her own.

I think if Knox were to choose a new, more feminine name, it should mean mountain or something along those lines. The name Knox means hill and a mountain is stronger/larger/more imposing than a hill but still they are two similar things. Something about her being the same but feeling more fortified in her identity, yk? Maybe like. Shaila or Sierra, but honestly I’m not a huge fan of those two so idk lol.

So I’m like. 100% sure that Welton has a strict dress code that wouldn’t leave room for experimentation with looks. I think if Knox were to be offered this freedom, though, she’d absolutely take it. Not that she’s necessarily uncomfortable dressing in a more masculine/boyish way, but I just get the feeling that she’d at least want to try out being more feminine. Knox doesn’t read as the type, to me, to try and suppress herself once she’s figured herself out, yk? Honestly I’m not quite sure what her style/look would be if she were able to choose whatever she wanted. Though, I have a feeling that she’d lean towards a more androgynous look (nothing to really back that up though)

I think Knox would be a lesbian lol. I mean, it’s canon that Knox is obsessed with Chris but. I personally would like to see that energy being channeled into just appreciating women in general. I like to think that discovering her identity would give her a newfound perspective on womanhood. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to dance around the fact that canon Knox is a huge fucking freak and the fact that both the dps book and movie treat its women characters like a joke. But yk how it is.

If I could’ve rewritten Knox’s character (once again I could make a WHOLE other post on that), I’d take all his unnecessary creepiness and turned it into awkwardness, and him learning to overcome that in the name of love or whatever. I feel like that was the goal with his character and the writers just fucking missed the mark so bad. So, in my hc, Knox is a huge lesbian girfailure. She’s always been really awkward around girls and doesn’t really know how to flirt or interact with them. Nonetheless, when she develops her feeling for Chris, she’s absolutely desperate to be cool and chivalrous and whatnot.

Anyway what I’m trying to say is I think transness would’ve saved Knox’s character lolol. Okay that’s all I have to say I think. Thanks for showing interest.

You people couldn’t handle my transfem Knox agenda (I’m embarrassed to post about it)