#idk if im gonna be making a new post for every update or just reblogging to add into the original one but anyways heres this for now lmao

[the-kipsabian]

soft shop update!

added two new wrestling ones, and got started on posting a few alan wake themed ones! i intend to make more so if that strikes your fancy, stay tuned 💜

everything is labeled and tagged so hopefully different fandom things are easier to find!

[wooziorgans]

fic updates!!

hi gang uh. it’s been a while, so here’s a full list of things that are currently in progress.

please let me know if there are any works that should be prioritized!! I think suck it and see is gonna be first up. no set dates quite yet but,,, that ones short so I’ll probably just drop it unannounced. also most of these are nsfw works. so mdni.

ALSO MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN FOR SMALL THINGS. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND THEM IN!!!

BULLET POINT IDEAS:

if u saw me reblog a post by @sunshinedeekay , you’ll definitely have seen some of these ideas in their post. it’s not plagerism, we talked abt these ideas together, and my take on them is veryyyyyy woozi centric cus hes the loml.

TTT - couples retreat

joining jihoon and the rest of the members and their partners in a ttt episode of gose

campfire (woozi centric)

sitting around a campfire with svt because it’s that time of year.

grocery store au (woozi centric)

svt members position working at a grocery store.

manager jihoon having such a soft spot for the students working for him.

bss fucking around and breaking a jar of pickles.

SHORTER WORKS:

suck it and see - bf!jihoon x reader

summary: all jihoon had was a simple meeting. the problem is, he looks a little too good in his button up.

warnings: (recently) established relationship. first time together in any sexual way. oral (m. receiving). woozi in a white button-up with his sleeves rolled up. wonwoo and mingyu are kinda?? idk how to explain it but you’ll see. chan has a gf n she’s just kinda there. possessive (but in a healthy?? way?) jihoon. a little throat fucking. hair pulling.

“Y/N,” Jihoon hisses. Y/N whines softly as his grip on their waist tightens. “Angel, I think we should head out.” He says softly, still trying to hold his composure. If there was one thing he wasn’t about to do, it was pop a boner in a room full of his friends. He’d never hear the end of it. But the way Y/N sat so nicely on his lap, with their ass rubbing against his cock every time they moved— god, it was so hard to keep his hormones in check.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t talked about sex before. They had, multiple times, when make out sessions got a little too heated and Jihoon was left hard as a rock. The relationship was a little too new for them to ever get farther than feeling each other up. It was a very hard line that Y/N chose to draw in the sand, and Jihoon respected it. Something about tonight was different.

Y/N’s grip on his forearm tightened, thumb brushing against the fabric that had been rolled up. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” They ask quietly, answer given before it’s even verbalized in the way his thumb circles their hip.

“No, god, never. But I’m thinking about things that would get me put on a watch list so that I don’t… y’know.” Jihoon presses a soft kiss to the base of their neck. “I just don’t want to be like this around the guys.” He laughs, but it’s strained. Just like how the fabric of his pants has started to feel. Y/N shifts again to test the water, and boy, is it tested.

when? - geto!woozi x ex jujutsu sorcerer!reader

summary: it’s been ten years since jihoon was banished from jujutsu tech. it’s been ten years since he slaughtered an entire village at the age of seventeen. it’s been ten years since y/n last saw him.

warmings: angst. hurt/comfort. jujutsu kaisen au. kind of post-breakup au. a little bit of a soulmate au if you squint. mega jujustu kaisen spoilers. woozi as geto. long haired woozi. mentions of massacring a village (if you’re familiar w jjk you know what im talking about). unresolved issues. unrequited love (kinda?). attempted murder kinda. hoshi as gojo. dialogue heavy.

The deep swell of the clouds overhead black out the sky. They swirl, angry, as they weep. A storm is brewing deep within them. The low rumble of thunder shakes the apartment building. Tonight is a night full of pain for the sky.

It’s equally as painful for Y/N.

The sharp knock on the door this late into the evening disturbs them. Y/N holds the cup of tea they were in the middle of making as they walk towards to door.

It’s most likely a solicitor, but to be out in this weather? They must be desperate. The knocks sound again; they must be really desperate. “One second!” Y/N calls, walking the few feet to the door. They swing it open forcefully, pissed off as the knocks echo once again.

Lee Jihoon stands on the other side of it. He looks older now. Out of reflex and shock, Y/N moves to slam the door closed. Jihoon slides a foot into the crack. He winces as it slams into the side of his shoe.

“Can I come in?” He’s beaten to all hell. Scratches cover parts of Jihoon’s face and arms, the blood flowing out of them mixed with the rain. He’s soaked, shivering softly with hair stuck to his forehead.

Y/N nearly drops their cup of tea, hand tightening around the door handle. It shakes as they pull it open more. “Um, yeah. I guess.” Jihoon slips inside, feet tracking in water. He’s considerate enough to slip his shoes off, but his socks are equally as wet.

lunch - seokmin x reader

summary: listening to an album with y/n’s boyfriend unlocks something in him. something almost dangerous for seokmin, and the best possible thing for y/n.

or, seokmin wants to be a better boyfriend. he’s fine as is, but it doesn’t hurt to start taking his partner out to lunch and craving a second course once they’re at home.

no teaser available at the moment but…. u get the idea.

drown - wonwoo x reader

summary: wonwoo wants to help his best friend; he really does. but things are so much harder to understand with a heavy heart of his own. so y/n explains what’s going on in terms he’ll get.

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, best friends to ???. mentions of others drinking (specifically chan. this is not an accurate representation of how i see chan, i love him). brief mentions of reader n chan in a rlly complicated situation ship. stress, feelings of depression, etc. just both of em going through a rlly hard time :((( reader n wonwoo r passing a vape back n forth throughout this.

“Woo,” Y/N exhales, pulling the blanket over their chest, “I don’t even know what to say.” They lay their head on his chest, closing their eyes softly. They try to push back the tears, but the pressure is overwhelming.

“It’s okay. Take your time.” Wonwoo coos, wrapping his arm tighter around their shoulders.

“I just— I feel so stupid for even thinking that I had a chance.” They exhale slowly. “Like, I can never be first place against someone who doesn’t even care about him.” The tears they had been holding back for the last ten minutes slowly begin to fall as they open their eyes again.

Immediately, Wonwoo knows what Y/N is talking about. Their over complicated situation-ship had been a heavy topic that hung in the air for most of the last week. Wonwoo knew as soon as he entered the apartment that something was off. When the soft, hesitant knocks bounced off his door into his room, he knew.

He opened his door; to the soft call of his name from a shaking voice, and eyes that seemed to be brimming with tears. His body moved to usher Y/N into his room, to bring them to his bed and tuck them in as they both leaned against the headboard and held each other.

“Chan’s on the phone,” Y/N said flatly, face burning red as they struggled to speak.

“I know,” Wonwoo whispered into the air.

“With her.” They closed their eyes, suddenly hyper aware of their own heart beat.

“I know.” Wonwoo sighed, arm wrapping around their shoulders. He hated this; this look of pity on Y/N’s face, their eyes so wet from holding it together. The hesitance in their voice; something Wonwoo never heard in it. They were always so confident, so optimistic. It was gone entirely.

FULL LENGTH FICS:

abstract - idol!jihoon x reader

professor lee is a fantastic teacher. above all, he is a knowledgeable old man who is incredibly passionate about his job and his students. he enjoys dancing, bad karaoke, eating lunch with his students, writing with expensive pens, teaching and talking about his family. and he is about to give his last class, not because he’s retiring, but because he’s terminal. he doesn’t expect to make it to the end of the semester. y/n loves the philosophy class taught by professor lee. this year’s class is different. this year, the students enrolled in professor lee’s philosophy classes will learn about life and death, but the most important lesson y/n learned comes in the form of their professors son; jihoon.

current warning list: gn!reader. afab!reader. implied bi!reader. very brief reader x female oc. college stuff (academics, drinking, jihoon smokes cigarettes). mentions of issues with food/not eating. major character death. homophobia, heartbreak, life lessons. philosophy talk. grieving. hella hurt/comfort. this has a happy ending i swear.

The earth seems very far away. Wherever the two of them are right now, home seems so far away. It’s a very small dot compared to the rest of the vast and dark universe. Whatever is here, it shares the darkness and the emptiness of the vacuum of space. Whether it was a moment of total dissociation, or just shock, nothing seems quite real to Jihoon. The room is no longer spinning, but it feels just as fuzzy. His eyes feel bleary and heavy from crying, which he has also stopped doing. He watches from the front porch as his father is carried into the back of a hearse, Y/N held tightly to his side.

It’s cold, and the sun has begun to set. The glow of the afternoon is long gone. His mother and cousin are almost nonexistent in this moment. The only thing that really grounds him to the earth is the warmth of Y/N’s body inside his jacket. Their arms are crossed to keep the heat in. Jihoon tightens his hold on their bare arm.

It’s beautiful, he recognizes. The clouds are deep shades of purple; it’s an unusual occurrence for this time of year. ‘It’s just like him,’ He thinks, ‘to pick the most beautiful day to die.’ The hearse drives off and no one moves. No one speaks. The wind has even seemed to stop blowing; the earth has gone completely silent.

end of beginning - fbi agent!jihoon x detective!reader

summary: decorated detective Lee Jihoon transfers to the NYPD to catch yet another deranged serial killer. The only difference this time is his set of colleagues, and his unbridled hatred for one of them.

warnings: jun is dead as hell in this fic (he was readers old partner n died in a shootout) I am so sorry for this one seriously oh my god. if it’s any consolation, it’s only talked about n he doesn’t die during the fic. GRAPHIC depictions of violence, murder, bodily mutilation, getting shot; generally pls just be aware that this is a fic abt chasing down a serial killer in new york. woozi is such an asshole in the first little bit of this fic but he has his reasons. enemies to lovers. coworkers to lovers. ANGST. smut. fluff.

“You want me as an equal? Then start doing half the fucking work!” He snapped. God, how easy it would be to draw their gun right now and take him down a peg, Y/N thought. The intrusiveness of the thought made their body run cold.

Sure, Jihoon has always been an asshole, but shooting him? I’m getting far too invested in this. Y/N thought again, swallowing harshly. They let out a shaky breath, deciding to not say anything to counter him. This profile was hard. It had been two months, with five separate incidents and they had nothing.

“What? Nothing? Have I finally gotten you to shut up?” Jihoon sneered, a smirk falling onto his face. Any chance at silencing themselves was gone now.

“I really, really fucking hate your guts Lee. If it wasn’t for this fucking case I would happily never see you again. You’re self-centred and cocky, and frankly, you’ve contributed fuck all to this investigation. We’re two months in, both of us of the two most decorated detectives in North America. We have nothing. Don’t you dare fucking lecture me about putting in the work when the stakes are so high.” Y/N’s hands gripped their hair, pulling it harshly as they paced to the other side of the room. “I’m not about to lose another partner, not again.” It sounded like a sob.

“Feelings mutual.” Jihoon states, pushing open the glass door of the room and leaving. He swallows harshly as he exits, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He’d gone too far, and for the very first time, his argument with Y/N had left him with a sour taste in his mouth and the all too familiar feeling of guilt in his stomach.

when we’re both thirty - producer!jihoon x reader

summary: after writing a contract while drunk in college that detailed if both parties were still single by the time they were thirty they would get married, jihoon and y/n forget about it. nine years and one divorce later, jihoon finds himself on y/n’s doorstep begging for forgiveness and a place to stay. the only issue is, he realizes his feelings four years too late.

current warnings: so much angst. unrequited love. friends to strangers to ??? to ???? to lovers. four years of silence from jihoon. broken heart syndrome. reader struggling hardcore w depression after the unofficial official breakup. bss bestie shenanigans. hoshi is the mvp here. hoshi calls jihoons ex wife a whore at one point. (more to be determined. this one is still in the beginning stages)

“I’m taking Y/N home.” Soonyoung pats his friend on the shoulder twice. Jihoon’s mouth falls open softly, a look of confusion on his face.

“Why? Is everything okay?” He can’t help but worry, despite his new bride glaring at the concern on his face. “Are they okay?” Soonyoung nods curtly.

“Um, they just don’t feel well. They’re in my car right now.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but the tears they had been holding back all night were getting closer and closer to spilling. The last thing Y/N wanted was to be accused of ruining Jihoon’s wedding by crying.

He was still their best friend after all. Even if being in love with him felt like getting their heart ripped out through their throat, it was still his big day. Even if Seokmin had to calm them down in the bathroom, the family bathroom, and they received strange looks from the group of strangers who saw both of them exit it, it was Jihoon’s day. Y/N wanted nothing more than for this day to be a happy one, to be the last day where they could say they loved him.

But things didn’t work out like that.

All it did was twist the knife deeper, puncture holes in their lungs that made it impossible to breathe.

pride and dignity - idol!jihoon x male!soloist!reader

summary: jihoon’s managed to keep his private life out of the media for the last ten years. however, his first ever scandal is a dating scandal; and even worse, one with another man. with the mistake of going out for drinks and getting a little too touchy, jihoon has to navigate all of the speculation on his sexuality, and his growing feelings for the other person caught in the middle of it all.

warnings: m!reader, but i use they/them for reader in this fic bcs it’s easier to distinguish reader from woozi that way. i grew up writing gay fan fiction, i am using they/them for reader out of pure convenience to keep my shit straight. hoshi n lee soohyuk r together. woozi is gay. he likes men in this bad boy. dating scandal. mild homophobia. lots of sex talk. this is really just porn with a lot of plot. plot with a little porn??? idk. this is so angsty my lord. woozi is a TEASE in this oh dear. a little dialogue heavy in some places. soft n tender woozi makes his return!!. reader has a little bit of anxiety. did i mention angst. angst. pledis statements. that’s a warning in and of itself.

Jihoon’s heart beats wildly in his chest as he stares at his phone. The photos of them that were leaked looked incredibly intimate. Jihoon’s arm is wrapped around Y/N’s waist, a tender smile on his lips. He looks like he’s in love. He was just drunk.

Still, the soft expression on his face is noted in the headline of the article. Woozi and Y/N Entangled in Gangnam. Jihoon feels sick.

Entangled. That they most certainly were. This is what he was afraid of: his personal life intertwining with his professional career.

The call from his manager comes soon after. Jihoon sinks into his couch as his manager rambles on about how detrimental this scandal could be to his career. Jihoon knows. He knows better than anyone what this could mean for not only him but Y/N.

Y/N’s in a much worse position; they said it themselves, being gay is a death sentence in the K-Pop industry. Especially when you’re new to it.

“I can confirm that the person in the photos is Y/N. As for the circumstances surrounding the photos, I won’t comment on any rumours or speculation. All I can say is that Y/N and I remain committed to our work and professional relationship moving forward.” Jihoon keeps his words calculated and careful as his manager asks for an official statement. Pledis was taking a new approach with this scandal, and hearing from the source was what they deemed best.

He had no idea how Y/N’s company would handle it. Jihoon only hoped that they wouldn’t be too hard on them.

But he knows.

He knows any way it’s dealt with will hurt Y/N’s career. Jihoon feels like he’s going to throw up.

statute of limitations - criminal defense lawyer/single dad!seokmin x neighbour!reader

summary: getting a new neighbour is always an experience. getting a hot single dad right across the hall I n even better experience.

tags: jeongcheol canonically. lawyer/roommate!jeonghan, mentions of wack crimes/assault (cus they’re lawyers). more tags to be added here as well.

“Hi.” He smiles, opening the door wide enough for Y/N to step into his apartment. “What brings you here at this hour?” His smile is still so bright, despite the fatigue on his face and the hour of the day.

“Sorry.” Y/N looks down. “I needed to get way from Jeonghan for a bit. Is it okay if I come in for a bit? I promise I won’t keep you up much longer.” Y/N looks back up at him, smiling softly, eyebrows raised slightly to make their eyes look bigger.

“Course,”

“I seriously thought about strangling him. He just gets on nerves about certain things and it’s so—“ Seokmin laughs.

“I’m not too sure if you should be confessing your violent impulses to a criminal defence lawyer, angel.” He coos, setting the glasses onto coasters on his coffee table. He grabs his glasses from the table, slipping them onto his face before he finally leans back onto the couch. There’s very little space between the two of them.

how do you talk to a star? - PREQUEL TO HOW TO KILL THE SUN

summary and tags are a work in progress so here is a little teaser.

Ah, yes. The origins of the nickname angel.

Jihoon was babysitting once again as the rest of his friends drank. The booth in the bar was crammed full of people, most of them eating half as much as they drank. It was one of the rare times he had agreed to go out without being forced; this making it a cause for celebration.

“You’ll babysit me, right?” Soonyoung asked, an hour earlier when he wasn’t drunk. Jihoon huffed, nodding reluctantly. He rolled his eyes, not exactly happy to spend his Friday night watching Soonyoung cry in another alcohol induced breakdown.

A gentle pat to his thigh pulls him out of his dissociation. “You okay?” Y/N asks, nursing another glass of god knows what. He looks up from the table to them. He hums softly.

“Mm, yeah. Just spaced out a bit.” He laughs quietly, thought it sounds a little forced.

“You sure? You’ve been spacing out a lot recently.” Y/N rests their hand on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. Jihoon’s heart swells a little at the action. Most people leave him to his own devices in situations like this. They let him deal with the overstimulation on his own. Y/N? Y/N’s a little different when it comes to these things.

“Yeah. Just a little tired.” His hand slides over Y/N’s, giving it a soft squeeze.

“If you want, I’m sure no one would be upset if we left.” Y/N starts, brushing the fabric of his jeans in an attempt to soothe him. It works.

“No. You’re having a good time; I’m just a little spaced out but I’m fine here.” He gives a small smile to them as they rest their head against his shoulder. It was definitely the alcohol in Y/N’s system that made such an action so easy for them.

role model is also on this list. i got extraordinarily busy and didn’t end up finishing it on time, and life kinda got busy and i couldn’t write anything happy for a while but i swear i will finish it!

these won’t be out for a while, I think this is my fic plan for the rest of the year tbh. but if anyone has any suggestions or requests for something shorter that they want to see, again, please feel free to send them in!!!

[fairyhaos]

yebabers :3 time for sudden qna (ft. the new sona). this is in fact solely because of that one post you reblogged,, that i reblogged because Same, yk? but was genuinely curious about things like this, so!! hehehehehe 👹👹

01. most burning question of all time: what's your (eta? no!) mbti?

02. tumblr update you hate the most right now?

03. favorite + least favorite chore to do?

04. fun fact about one of your works?

05. are you team 'cereal first' or 'milk first'?

06. how did you come to terms with joshua being your favorite?

07. username origin?

08. what's your favorite tea / coffee / drink ?

09. your five recent emojis? (alternatively, one you use the most + why)

10. drink water.

hello weiwei ^^ oooh okok let's see!

1 - im intj! but honestly i try not to put too much importance on mbtis and signs etc :>

2 - uhhh the fact they're forgetting my tags ://

3 - hanging the laundry is most fun + i don't like doing the washing up 😔

4 - hmm.... maybe not one of my actual "works" per se but dokyeom's synaesthesia colour was almost plum purple

5 - team cereal first!

6 - idk tbh like . shu was just Standing there and i blinked and somehow he was holding my heart in his hands and i was like "guess ur gonna be my soul holder now"

7 - pink hair _world hao made me think fairy so he's just forever been a fairy in my head and then it was the first thing i thought of when tumblr asked me to make a url :]

8 - 보리차! it's barley tea in english i think? anyways i have it literally every single day and it's sooo nice. clean and warm and the same time

9 - 😔🤓🤭🤩🤞 and i use 😔😭 a lot,,, idrk why haha

10 - will do 🫡🫡

[lamphous]

this unnecessarily long text post is just to say: part two of my current au (summarized above*) is up now

* in this metaphor, the richie half is kramer and the eddie half is george. it’s not really the semantic difference in want the fics explore but I think it’s funny. please clap

[jidai]

jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation

Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.

The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 

Happy New Years, everyone!

@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 

I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️

@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.

We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3

@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3

And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--

@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!

@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 

While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe

Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️

@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.

Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3

anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:

i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️

(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)

@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.

i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL

BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.

I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3

@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 

Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao

@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 

You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 

Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.

[bawkrya]

ok so im just gonna pick at fr from a web designer pov because looking at this site on mobile will drive me into madness if they don’t fix it at some point. The rest of this post will go under a read more because it’s both super long and image heavy.

before i hit mobile though, I’m going to point out some things i just don’t personally like in general with the site design (and yes i am conscious that they are slowly updating to a new look)

this will come as a shock to no one, if you’ve seen previous web design related posts by others anyways, but i cant. stand this menu

[ID: A cropped screenshot of Flight Rising’s Main Menu]

fr, understandably, has a shit ton of links. it’s a petsite with lore and all that, whatever. The thing that bothers me specifically is the length of links and where some are placed.

1. i BELIEVE this counts as an accessibility issue where longer links kinda trap shorter links, goes into misclicks to other pages in the site, etc. etc.  2. i don’t think. the search link should be under library personally ? Maybe make it its own category. 

Dev Tracker & Media could go under this category, possibly add separate links to forum, player, and dragon searches with updated formatting

Dressing Room and Scrying Workshop could go under the “Play” category 

Forums can be it’s own category with possible subcategories being: Announcements & News, Help Center, and Flight specific discussion forum, maybe more 

Library category could then just be: Which Waystone, World Map, Game Database, and Encyclopedia.

Support should be it’s own category.

One thing on the shop category, and i hesitate to say this because im not CONFIDENT on this one, but I’m not sure Custom Skins exactly fits? or at least, it should be Purchase Gems -> Marketplace -> Custom Skins, not between crossroads and festive favors

Merch should probably go under purchase gems, and they should maybe uhh..... i guess change the name for it overall? because 1. “merch” alone does NOT look good with its placement, 2. its another actual money purchase thing and I think those should go on the same page

Along with that, in putting merch under that page, they could put previews of the merch with a button to go purchase instead of immediately going to their merch site (which to begin with it should open in a new tab if its going to a separate site?!!)

then this is a mix of both not liking it on laptop OR mobile, 

[ID: A cropped image of Flight Rising’s Clan Home page. The Bestiary link has a bright red box highlighting it]

Obviously these pages are old, but the graphics need to be updated, and there needs to be graphics for every link in the category-- seeing with this category alone there isn’t a graphic for the Bestiary already. On top of this they need to be in link order preferably. if they had a normal dropdown menu for mobile, mobile users wouldn’t be able to access the bestiary unless FR wanted to be STUPID and do further dropdown menus w their 200 links which would be STUPID and CLUTTERED

also in my opinion the Messages link isn’t necessary since we have the button at the top. If they put it there as an excuse for accessibility, they can just. add text to the buttons. like here’s a scuffed mockup but. 

[ID: Screenshot of Flight Rising’s Messages, Friend Requests, and Alerts icons edited to have Messages, Friends, and Alerts written next to the icons]

for the friends tab, they could prolly add friend requests at the top like they do for baldwin alerts, then have an online status thing for friends below with buttons to PM, trade, delete friend, etc. I think you’re already able to disable the online status thing with page visibility? but like, make those options separate if you dont wanna block off your entire page, but dont want to be seen online.

For mobile, they can just make the icons bigger.

then. i THINK. last thing on laptop site. 

[ID: A screenshot of Flight Rising’s Social Media links with old Logos to YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and DeviantArt]

update these fucking icons they are personally killing me, none of these logos are in use anymore (ALSO UPDATE THE TUMBLR THEME JESUS CHRIST)

ok now for mobile. what this post was originally for.

-

as you all know, if you visit this site on mobile, there is literally no form of a mobile version for it. It is just a condensed version of the computer version of the site which is...Very Bad! 

Most of a sites visitors are going to be through mobile, i forget the exact percentage, but like it’s almost a given that people more readily have their phones with them than their laptop or tablet (which. im not going to bother with the tablet version, you can apply both computer and mobile criticisms to the site). in fact a lot of my time on FR is through mobile since I’m not at home 24/7 and I don’t tote my laptop around. Playing this game through it’s mobile site is Not Fun! 

I like, won’t be too pissy or anything bc like. it’s a petsite and I’m making this post for fun. but also like it was made in 2014? 2013? so I’m not going to be u kno. angry. but it nearing the point of ten years with this site and there still isn’t a mobile friendly version. that is lazy. If anything, if they wanted a site update to be the anniversary thing, they should’ve made that update be

Mobile update as primary thing, because designing the site for mobile is a shit ton of work with the amt of pages they have to work through.

Dragon Profile page update (*LOUD SIGH*)

Clan page update

Hoard update (i have thoughts on this too but i wont dive into it this post)

Purchase Gems page update

Dev Tracker update

Forums update

“but that’s a lot to update” well. that wouldve made the anniversary being a website update considerably more worth it, because in my opinion having the dragon profile pages be the ONLY thing to happen during the anniversary was a waste and a bad decision, because other website updates are just. normal whatever updates. it made the anniversary SUPER underwhelming especially bc the past ones (to my knowledge) have only been major game mechanic updates like the eye & ancients update and i believe? the color wheel expansion was an anniversary thing? someone can correct me on that I haven’t played this game as long as most LMAO

as for how i personally would situate the mobile site. shitty graphic time, bc im not putting too much effort into this (warning this will be LONG)

[ID: Image 1. A crudely put together screenshot of the top half of a Mobile View of Flight Rising with comments on either side. It ends with the Latest News segments “Riot of Rot” and “Hoard & Vault Revamp”

Comment 1, Left side: “no banner make it a solid color that matches the burger menu. size the logo correctly etc. Comment 2, Right side: “burger menu w ONLY the categories, goes to the homepages of the categories” Comment 3, Right side: “TWO latest news posts, maybe a button to go see earlier news (which may b something to add to comp too)” Comment 4, Right side: “center dates and comments maybe idfk”

At the bottom of the image there is an added “button” that says “more updates button”]

[ID: Image 2. The bottom half of the mobile view with comments on the left side. There is a put together white box that has the Plague Flight Logo and “plage dom !” written in it. Below it are the Site Status, Random Dragon, and Exalt Bonuses boxes from the site. Underneath that is a red box with “ad space” in the center, with a red footer at the bottom.

The footer contains, “social media! (specifally made icons for site)”, “better formatted links”, and “copyright”.

Comment 1: “idk what they would caption it but the flashy can go here.” Comment 2: “ONE site status update if they keep this format” Comment 3: “probably center these links. i dont know what they use to build the site but im sure you can make icons for social media on just about anything unless this is all handcoded. just. make small icons it takes two seconds and you can copy+paste”]

i dont even want to THINK about how the lair and all that would look on mobile, it was a chore doing the home page alone SOBS

anyways, in ref to these images though--

this is just slapped together and definitely wouldn’t be a final draft, it could use some tweaking

the flashy i refer to is the box that’s above the user box that says what flight is in dom, what festival is going on, etc.

when i mention building the site and “you can make icons for social media on just about anything” im referring to wordpress, wix, whatever is used to format the site. I really only have experience with wordpress thru elementor and divi (so far) so im not CERTAIN about other places but I feel it would be pretty common to have that tool. if not, making icons (or snatching some) is rlly not that hard, probably only costly depending on what their webdesigner(s) charge for icons

I’m not like certain on who does what, how the webdesigner(s) work with/price this site, etc. etc. this is just. going off of my own knowledge. and in general this whole post is my own knowledge abt shit i did no further research to FRs team specifically 

i think this is basically it, i’ll reblog with more if i think of anything, but feel free to add things yourself or in general discuss things. again this post was made for fun so im not taking it seriously or demanding for these changes to be made, just personal annoyances and preferences.

This is also my first time doing picture IDs for a post so if I need to correct anything or the like let me know and I’ll edit it in the post!

[pinksausageduo]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K+

IM SCREAMING WTF YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING genuinely can’t believe i have more than 1000 of you actually liking my blog to the point of following me??!!! I have really bad updates LIKE REALLY BAD like for 2 and half months i’ve been on tumblr i’ve probably only been posting for 1 month and a bit. AND THE FACT YOU STILL ALL LIKE MY WRITINGS AND FOLLOW ME IS CRAZY!! i seriously mean it when i absolutely adore each and everyone of you following my blog like i love you guys so so much. and please don’t be afraid to ever talk to me whether it’s on anon or message whether it’s about how annoying your life is, ranting, my writing, advice, questions, literally anything. i just love you guys sooooo much like wow i never even expected more than 100 followers like i’m mind blown.

so since it is a milestone and usually most blogs do something, i did prepare a present for my followers and another one for my mutuals because i love you all.

FOR MY FOLLOWERS: A NEW SERIES!!!!!

i know i have still my enemies to lovers series that i need to complete and i will do that but there will be a new series and YOU GUYS GET TO CHOOSE which one I write first either;

Heirs 

located in an expensive private school, wanna one is known as the Heirs. they’re all extremely rich, good looking, talented and basically the kings of the school. each guy will have a girl that catches their eye, those girls will be you! from the quick witted and sassy scholarship student to the extremely rich ice princess who no one wants to even approach to the shy sweet nobody, one member will fall for you. choose to find out!

so will you choose the heirs??

Bodyguards

wanna one is a team of bodyguards assigned to people who need protection. over the years each and every one of them finds themselves falling for someone on the job. but falling in love isn’t part of the job or is it? they’ll fall for you! from the president’s daughter to another intelligence agency’s spy to even a princess, one member will fall for you. choose to find out!

so will you choose the bodyguards??

HOW TO CHOOSE

message me by kkt or tumblr

comment below

reblog with which one

choose in poll : https://goo.gl/forms/G4GrlZEfOPL30jnP2

CHOOSING WILL CLOSE IN AROUND 2 WEEKS ON 11/11/17 

please vote!!! i’ll love you all forever if you do!!!! 

FOR MY MUTUALS/PEOPLE I ADMIRE & FOLLOW: FOLLOW FOREVER/RECS/DESCRIPTION

WANT TO GIVE OUT A HUGE SHOUTOUT TO MY MUTUALS AS WELL AND IT’LL BE KINDA A FOLLOW FOREVER/RECS (it’ll be long asf (like REALLY long) so i’ll put it under keep reading) this will be in all three person sorry :( 

EVERYONG: i love y'all sm we all so so crazy and we occasionally talk about writing but eh it’s really just a mess but making our gc was one of the best decisions i made on tumblr AND IM SO SORRY if i don’t have you down below but i’m giving you all my love and appreciation rn here!!! BUT JUST LOVE YOU ALL!!

FIRST OF ALL SHOUTOUT TO DIAMOND @woojiniee FOR ENCOURAGING ME TO START THIS BLOG I WOULDN’T BE HERE WITHOUT YOU. lol it’s weird how my blog started from helping you w your english homework on harry potter lmao. i genuinely love you so so much and i admire you, your works and your blog and just thank you for everything!

ALSO A HUGE SHOUTOUT TO JAS @perkwoojin!!!! MY ABSOLUTE LOVE AND MY BEST FRIEND!! jas you’ve been here for me whether it’s irl problems or tumblr problems and you’ve never judged me for anything i’ve done. you are so so so special to me and i just love you soooo much i genuinely can’t imagine not meeting you on tumblr. we hit it off right from the start and we’ve only gotten closer. while the time difference may be annoying we still talk often and just thank you so much for always being there for me, love you loads!!!

MY SENPAIS (the people who inspired me to write and start this blog, i would literally check your blog for updates everyday before starting this blog) :

@imagineproduce101 genuinely think carina is the queen of writing in the pd101/wanna one fandom, she’s blessed us with so many fics on such a regular basis i’ve never talked to you personally and you probs have no idea who i am but just want to say thank you so much for inspiring me to write, your fics always made me feel so soft and fluffy i wanted to make other people feel that way so thank you!!! 

fic recs: rivals (pleaseee do pt 2), what are you waiting for, let me love you, banana milk love, red bull, new beginnings, all of mafia aus, all of hp aus, all of vampire aus 

@woojiniee i’ve already mentioned diamond^ but gonna mention her again cause she is one of my senpais LITERALLY SOOOO GOOD WRITING LIKE WTH PLEASE LET ME LIVE she’s less busy now so IM WAITING FOR UPDATES GIRLL but seriously check out all of her fics will not be disappointed

fic recs: alpaca boy saves the day, crushing on you, jaehwan soulmate au, dating a park at a park

@wanna-request-one​ such great paragraph writings mine will never live up to theirs writing is so amazing just so great if you want detailed long writing the best blog to go to all of them are AMAZING WRITERS congrats on 1.8K!!

fic recs: seongwoo soulmate, seongwoo brother’s best friend, jaehwan college, I HATE YOU IM YOUNGMIN (literally so in love w this fic)

@wanna-one-scenarios amazing writer!!! so so so niceeee she’s starting college rn so v busy i miss youuu we never get to chat but its okayyy BUT LIKE SHIT WRITING IS SOOOO ON POINT LIKE WTH just go through her whole master list won’t regret it

fic recs: DANIEL PRINCE AU!!! (like if y’all haven’t read this missing out on sm), jongyun father au, sewoon enemies to lovers au

@wannaonestars love reading her writing such great bullet points and really good ideas ALSO SO JEALOUS that like short bullet points BUT CAN MAKE ME FEEL SO FLUFF like that is a skill ppl 

fic recs: all of boyfriend series (like so fluff) ESPECIALLY SEONGWOO’S, jihoon soulmate, minhyun office au

@jsioos (was heochannies) MEIKE IS SO PRETTY AND NICE AND AN AMAZING WRITER LIKE WHAT HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLESSED has such a diverse range of works from scenarios to mtls to reactions so genuinely impressed with her blog like goals

fic recs: all of boyfriend series FOR EVERY SINGLE GROUP like she’s amazing at those, and movie night with seongwoo

@ukulelewrites ALSO LONG ASS FICS AMAZING BLOG seriously such amazing writing love so many fics of hers DESERVES MORE ATTENTION AND FOLLOWERS and super sweet as well 

fic recs: cherry picker’s club, a fanta-sea, homerun and ephiany (it’s nct ten BUT SUCH AN AMAZING FIC NEED TO PUT IT ON HERE)

@kanggdaniell STEPH IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO NICE AND RLY BUSY AS WELL but amazing writer just love her writing so much she isn’t as active as before but still should definitely check out master list cause so many amazing scenarios

fic recs: TSUNDERE (FUCK FUCK READ IT RN BEST SERIES FOR ME ON TUMBLR WOOJIN STANS COLLECT YOUR BOI), always in my heart, all of breakup scenarios, all of bad boy scenarios

ANOTHER SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO IRIS AKA @alliwannado-w1 LITERALLY RELATES W ALL MY WRITING PROBLEMS ON A PERSONAL LEVEL IS THE ABSOLUTE SWEETEST CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HER WORKS, BLOG AND FOLLOWERS I LOVE HER WRITING AND ADMIRE HOW DEDICATED SHE IS TO POST SO REGULARLY just i rly should stop writing in caps but like just genuinely she is the princess of writing in the pd101/wanna one fandom and she’s just so so amazing and all her writings are always so much fun to read like i love her so much but like no offence iris but you’re fucking crazy in the best way possible like to have so many wips like GIRL YOU NEED A BREAK 

fic recs: FUCKBOY SERIES (iris got all her fame from here lol jk), daniel werewolf au, jihoon soulmate au, jihoon vampire au, woojin youtuber au, woojin policeman au, jinyoung barista au, sewoon soulmate au, youngmin youtuber au gonna stop there cause i’ll be listing her whole master list soon ;)

AMAZING WRITERS (just to give heads up have liked these recommended fics on another private account so if you like look at the likes and i’m not there that’s the reason):

@daehwifi​​ GENUINELY LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH AND THEY’RE BOTH RIDICULOUSLY TALENTED and hella sweet like cutest married couple ik TIFFY thank youuu for always making me smile and MAE for being the sweetest angel but YOUR WRITING IS ALSO HELLA GOOD like great bullet point fics and regular updates 

fic recs: bandaid guanlin scenario, movies ongniel scenario, skype calls jinyoung scenario 

@deepdickdaniel​​ ARIANE EVERYONG GC MOTHER (aurora’s dad now) and the ultimate HOE for daniel but got guys chasing after her constantly SMH and all our gc is beautiful because of your genes ANYWAYS you’re also a good ass writer and if anyone wants bomb ass daniel fics FOLLOW ARIANES BLOG YALL

fic recs: doormat, all her soulmate aus especially taste, hiking w daniel

@dong-hyucks​ oKAY so jade has only like one fic on wanna one BUT SHE’S SUPER TALENTED AND SHE DOES SO MANY GROUPS like mutlifandom ASF AND I LOVE HER ALOT 

fic recs: daniel soulmate au, na jaemin spy au, i’m with you taeyong

@donghyxns​​​ IF YALL WANT MXM SCENARIOS/CONTENT THIS SHIT IS RIGHT HERE also has a lot of wanna one scenarios but maddie is the biggest donghyun fan ik and super sweet even though we haven’t talked much!

fic recs: royalty au donghyun, actually all the royalty aus,  TIC TOK WOOJIN SOULMATE AU, youngmin as your boyfriend

@ennergetics​​ RAE my favourite drunk aunt ever like super funny and nice and talking about bts is always great with you RAE YOU ALSO LIKE AN AMAZING WRITER and make me feel all sorts of stuff when i read your works

edit: fuck me im so sorry rae lmao idk if it was the fact i wrote this at 3am or I'm terrible speller originally or it was auto correct IDEK BUT ILYSM DONT HATE MEEEEE

fic recs: bad first dates, prince aus, woojin college/barista au

@fromwannaone​​ ANNIE A COMPLETE UTTER SWEETHEART WITH WRITING SKILLS which put me to shame and fic ideas are always sooo good too just fuck meeeee i love youuu and your writing 

fic recs: ALL HER SCHOOL SERIES which is like all members basically sooo, on rainy days, sweet like candy

@hiyawoojin​​ RISSAAAA MY BABY MY PRECIOUSSSS I WANT TO PROTECT YOU AND HUG YOU AND LOVE YOU FOREVER but genuinely rissa is the sweetest person ik on tumblr and her sweetness is as equal to her writing BUT SINCE SHE’S A NEWBIE EVERYONE GIVE HER LOVE

fic recs: ALL OF THEM since there’s about 4 but i like the woojin and the minhyun in particular hehehe

@hwinkinghwi​​ XUAN WE BONDED INSTANTLY YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE AND LAUGH and we talk about the weirdest things but it’s still heaps of fun and xuan has short sweet bullet point fics which will warm your heart

fic series: both baejin fics: chicken first cuddles later, florist jinyoung, baker woojin, ___ as your boyfriend (all of them)

@jeonjeonggukks​​ I LOVE ALEX SM SERIOUSLY SO SO SO FUNNY LIKE WTH and sooooo easy to slander BUT SHE IS MY MOTHER (well one of them) AND I LOVE HER SO SO MUCH AND SHE’S ALSO AN AMAZING ASS WRITER so y’all should read her writings

fic recs: shipped jonghyun scenario, our necklaces sungwoon soulmate au, why her why him woojin

@jihoonslattee​​ AHHH WE JUST STARTED TALKING CHI BUT I ALREADY LOVE YOU AND JUST WOW YOUR WRITING IS INCREDIBLE WISH I COULD BE YOU AND HAS SOOOO MANY FICS DONE LIKE IM SO IMPRESSED wow i did that in all caps but like JIHOON STANS WHO WANT JIHOON FICS like chi’s blog like 100% recommend also does reactions SO CHECK HER OUT 

fic recs: jihoon prince au (this was sooo good), daniel CEO both parts, seongwoo boyfriend au, jihoon soulmate au

@mongniel​​ AURORA OUR SALTY ASS MOTHER/FATHER who leaves us regularly and is a daniel seongwoo stan (she says so at least) BUT LIKE GOTTA APPRECIATE HER ABILITY TO MAKE ME FEEL SO MUCH SHIT WITH HER ANGST also if y'all love angst daniel fics AURORA’S BLOG IS THE ONE FOR YOU

fic recs: BROKEN RECORD (heart BREAKING), no chance no way, in his dreams, no answer

@peachiejihoonie​​ SAYS IN DESCRIPTION SHE’S BAD AT WRITING BUT THAT’S RIDICULOUS her writing is sooooo good like not too many fics up BUT ALL OF THEM ARE AMAZING like what??

fic recs: demigod series, daniel fuckboy 

@perkwoojin​​ IVE ALREADY MENTIONED JAS CAUSE SHES MY ONE ETERNAL LOVE but genuinely wtf so talented I AM SHOOK she does EVERYTHING like gifs, reactions, scenarios AND SHE HAS TWO OTHER BLOGS for the boyz and stray kids fans CHECK THOSE BLOGS OUT TOO

fic recs: basically everything but in particular wanna one as prom dates, wanna one reacting to you how to solve a rubix cube, and all her series which include: boyfriend, fallen angel, AND check out woojin badboy pt 1 & 2 and now ive literally listed her whole master list whoopss

@playfuldisaster​​ CHRISTINE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART LIKE WOW genuinely like an angel AND I LOVE TALKING TO HER but she also has so many works up! WHICH NEED MORE ATTENTION cause they’re so good

fic recs: and i’m here seongwoo, attention baejin, my boy lollipop baejin, sorry kang daniel

@producedwannaone​​ SO UNDERRATED LIKE WHAT HOW EVERYONE WAKE UP also honey I NEED A MASTERLIST like need to stalk your blog easily yooo but seriously such a great writer and a sweetheart x 

fic recs: wanna one seeing their donsaeng in their t shirt, naps with guanlin

@starrywinters​​ SHEENA YOU HAVE SHARED MY PAIN OF HAVING SEONGWOO AS A BIAS WRECKER but like other than that you mean so so much to me you are positively brilliant in every single way AND DON’T TELL YOURSELF OTHERWISE seriously AND IT INCLUDES YOUR WRITING SKILLS 

fic recs: cute bandaids, minhyun college au, 7 minutes in heaven jihoon, hugs woojin, guanlin soulmate/vampire au

@wannabeone​​ just dammnnnn girl your writing is SO GOOD LIKE WHAT?? always makes me feel all nice inside just love reading your works fic recs: all of best friend lovers (like you will not be disappointed), kissing cuddling hugging wanna one

@wannamoon​​ JUJU IK YOU’RE ON HIATUS AND YOU HAVEN’T REPLIED TO MY MESSAGES CRI but i miss your baejin fangirl squealing and your posts which will be filled with sadness cause it’s you lmao BUT COME BACK SOON I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU but juju has such a good mix of fluff and angst fics and super unique and heart warming ideas

fic recs: crumble both parts guanlin, ALL HER LIFE AUS LIKE FUCK SUCH GOOD FLUFF, halcyon seongwoo, jihoon soulmate au

@wannaonescenarios​ SERIOUSLY SUCH GREAT SHORT FLUFF WRITINGS LIKE WHAT HOW I WISH and has a long ass masterlist WHICH IS AMAZING TO GO THROUGH just like go right now to her blog amazing writings IS AVAILABLE

fic recs: SOULMATE AU SERIES, dating series, college series (even tho it’s only youngmin), daniel cat cafe owner 

@wannasoftimagine​​ OMG SUCH AMAZING FICS BUT DOES ANYONE KNOW PHI WENT?? like she hasn’t updated in 2 weeks? or replied to messages? like does anyone know?? but if she’s on an hiatus without mentioning well idrk but phi’s works make me feel so so soft like super duper fluffy and always read them for a cheer up 

fic recs: ALL SOULMATE SERIES, classmate woojin, boyfriend woojin, and all of wanna one _____

@wannasseu​​ CYN CYN OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PEOPLE CYN IS THE QUEEN OF ANGST if anyone says otherwise FITE ME drown in my tears whenever i read one of her angsts WHICH IS LIKE ALL THE TIME ugh cyn what are you doing to me BUT CONTRARY TO THE ANGSTY FICS SHE WRITES cyn is such a FLUFFY person 

fic recs: ALL HER EX BOYFRIEND SERIES especially seongwoo’s (i ranted to cyn for a straight hour about that fic lol), custard kisses, arranged marriage 

@wannatales​​ GREAT SHORT FLUFFS THAT YALL WANNA READ RECOMMENDING FOR STANS OF MAKNAE LINE since writings are only maknae line works always makes me feel all fluffy and gooey insideeee

fic recs: JACKET GUANLIN (fuck such a cute scenarios can’t deal), fool woojin, milk jihoon

@wannawrite​​ SO MANY FICS FOR SO MANY FANDOMS but like the wanna one master list IS HELLA LONG haven’t ever talked to admin N BUT I LOVE YOUUUUU LAETITA DATITA RISEEEE (is that how to spell it i can’t even remember) BUT ANYWAYS soooooo good fics like always love reading them just genuinely great writings 100% of the time

fic recs: FLOWER BOY SERIES LIKE YESSS, vamp series, i latte you very much minhyun, bffs to bf daniel, colourless soulmate au woojin, this isn’t part of the plot guanlin

@wanna-17​​ CATH OMG MY OLDER FUTURE TWIN IDEK i love you so so much and chatting you is always fun BUT you have so many mtls like wow I'm mind blown BUT YOUR FICS ARE ALSO SUPER GOOD 

fic recs: wanna one first meeting series, and any of the mtls you want to know about

@whatabrightplace​​ AHHH TINA PLEASE PLEASE WRITE FOR WANNA ONE YOUR WRITING IS ALREADY AMAZING AND DON’T BE SCARED JUST TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH wow I'm being rly dramatic but idc i want to see you produce wanna one writing content (did you see what i did there ;) ) ANYWAYS i also wanted to tell you i love youuuu

fic recs: HER RECENT DANIEL SCENARIO FUCK stars + you for our precious mother ariane and basically everything on her masterlist even tho it isn’t wanna one or pd101

@101scenes​​ JUST CUTE ASF SCENARIOS (at least the ones i’ve read) got me squealing and SOFT like such great writing 

fic recs: LATTE ART daniel scenario, guanlin soulmate au, ceo jihoon

TEXT BLOGS (not gonna do fic recommendations cause they’re texts and it’s harder to choose specific ones):

@laignlin​​ LILY I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU MORE LIKE TIME DIFFERENCE AND SCHOOL SUCKS but our chats are always the best and it’s always hella nice talking to you BUT YOU’RE ALSO A GREAT WRITER AND AMAZING TEXT MAKER so i ended up putting you in text author lol also IM STILL YOUR PROM DATE but everyone just read through all of lily’s texts and scenarios cause they’re all on point asf

@pwjins​ I GENUINELY ADORE ALLISON BUT SHE HATES ME AND WE HAVE THIS BITCH FEUD THING GOING ON BUT WHATEVER I LOVE HER ALOT AND IK YOU GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME AND NEED A BREAK BUT LIKE I’M HERE FOR YOU TUMBLR HERE’S FOR YOU but i love allison’s texts they always make me smile and laugh and like my heart literally warms SHE ALSO WRITES occasionally so check those out and i don’t have any in particular but like the gc texts are always good and the CHANGING THE NAME LIKE LMAO that’s also amazing just check it all out BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ALLISON 

@texts101 YOUR TEXTS ARE SOOOO GOOD JUST THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR MAKING THEM like they never disappoint I LOVE the best friend, boyfriend, gc and name switch texts the most BUT LITERALLY ALL OF YOUR TEXTS ARE AMAZING and ik you taking a hiatus now SO PLEASE TAKE A GOOD REST AND FOCUS ON SCHOOL and don’t stress at all cause all your followers will still be here and ready for your return

@w1talks ANGELA IK YOU DO SCENARIOS AND TEXTS but the scenario list was getting WAYYY TOO LONG to put you there anyways I LOVE YOUR TEXTS AND YOUR SCENARIOS your writing is amazing but your texts are also great LIKE MULTI TALENTED MUCH and I ABSOLUTELY ADORED wanna one finding you went on a date with jinyoung BUT I ALSO ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUUU

INCORRECT QUOTES BLOGS (not gonna do fic recommendations cause they’re quotes and there are hundreds):

@incorrect-produce101-quotes​ SUPER DUPER FUNNY and like totally could imagine your quotes being said by the guys and love how there’s a lot of the pd101 guys as welll 

@incorrect-wanna-one-quotes​ you were one of the first blogs i followed and your quotes NEVER fail to make me at least smile like i have properly cracked up laughing on multiple occasions because of your quotes and i just feel like my day becomes a little brighter when i see you on my dash

TALENTED ASF GIF MAKERS:

@daewi​ just really nice and cute gifs which are soooo aesthetically pleasing together also all your reblogs are just great AND I ADORE YOUR HS YEARBOOK AWARD THEMES 

@defsouldanik​ LITERALLY IM IN SUCH AWE OF YOU LIKE THE GIFS YOU MAKE IS ALWAYS LIKE THE MOMENTS I WANT GIFFED?? and like all your got7 content makes me happy as well and just THE QUALITY IS SOOO GOOD AS WELL

@kimsjaehwan​ ONE OF MY ULT FAV GIF MAKERS always gifs are so nice and the gifs are always hella good quality just always makes me smile when i see them 

@kngniel​ YOU WANT BASICALLY PERFECT GIFS OF DANIEL HERE IS THE BLOG FOR YOU genuinely so many gifs you’ve made of him smiling and just MAKES ME FEEL SOFTTT 

@ongeuigeon​ SUCH AMAZING GIFS WTF like the gifs in a set always match perfectly with each other in every way AND I LOVE IT WHEN YOU ADD YOUR OWN LITTLE COMMENTS IN it always make the gif that much better 

@parkswoojin REALLY NICE GIFS and like you regularly make new ones so thank youuu for that and just really nice quality AND IN GENERAL A GREAT GIF BLOG TO FOLLOW

@park-woojin​ I LOVE YOU JUST FOR EXISTING AND MAKING WOOJIN GIFS LIKE all of your gifs are so nice and clean and great ass quality AND SINCE ITS WOOJIN i always smile my ass off whenever i see any of your gifs 

@rosybaejin AMAZING ASS GIFS LIKE WOWOOWOWOWOW mind fucking blown y'all AND also in general amazing blog to follow great baejin content

@sungwhoon really pretty high quality edits and gifs AND LIKE THE COLOURS ALWAYS LOOK AMAZING just so nice to look at your gifs

@woojinnies WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU IN THIS FANDOM genuinely believe you are a staple piece of creating gifs in this fandom YOUVE MADE SOOOO MANY AND THEY’RE ALL SOOO GOOD like you have A GIFT just thank youuuu for making your gifs 

OTHER GREAT BLOGS:

@boo-jinyoung​​​ summer you’re an amazing ass dancer like woah and totally a baejin stan even tho you deny it CONSTANTLY and you are a  complete sweetheart everyone follow for HELLA GOOD jinyoung and guanlin content 

@crystalkpop​ I LOVE YOUUU THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR BEING ONE OF MY BIGGEST SUPPORTERS AND LIKING/COMMENTING MY WORKS JUST I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH

@dearlydaehwi AMAZING DAEHWI CONTENT LIKE DAMN like i love seeing the smol soft bean and you DELIVER like all daehwi stand should follow you just daehwi overload in the absolute best way possible

@extraongdinary LITERALLY PROVIDES ALL THE SEONGWOO CONTENT I NEED and reblogs good ass content SO HAPPY ASF leah ily even tho we’ve never talked you just ultra great 

@fywannaone​ JUST THANK THE LORDS FOR YOU best updates such great pictures literally don’t need to follow any other blogs cause like SO FAST just constantly blessing me with wanna one content SO THANK YOU 

@ricepot-jisung​ I KNOW YOURE A WRITER BUT I HAVEN’T HAD TIME TO READ YOUR WORKS which i bet are amazing AND TBH JUST FOLLOWED YOU BECAUSE YOU REPOSTED GOOD ASS CONTENT AND SEEMED SUPER NICE AND PERSONAL POSTS WERE RELATABLE ASF (whoops wrote all that in caps) 

@soft-baejin BRI we’ve barely talked since i’m never on the gc but you’re super duper sweet and nice and also have a really nice blog and you reblog really good jinyoung content and great content in general 

@wooh00jin SUPER SWEET and adores woojin great ships and i bet you have so many flooding in when ships are open cause you put so much detail into them and GREAT WOOJIN CONTENT  

@asongofmagicandtime | @sewnho | @lai-panlin | thank you for always being nice to me on the gc and I'm sad its not as active as before but all three of you are SUCH SWEETHEARTS and have GREAT ASS CONTENT on your blogs

MY FAVOURITE MUTUALS/CLOSE FRIENDS (which have not been mentioned above or i just felt like putting you here lmao):

@danielsoftgf​ DIAN YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME NO MORE SENDING GIFS OF KOOKIE TAE N WOOJIN LIKE YOU RLY WANNA KILL ME but you so so soft for daniel it’s sweet but also so easy to exploit hehehe but i can see seongwoo just around the corner ;) but genuinely love your blog it’s so so so nice and chatting with you is the best I LOVE YOUUUU

@hyuckland​ OKAY IK WE JUST STARTED TALKING TINA AND I HAVEN’T GOT THE CHANCE TO STALK YOUR BLOG YET so i can’t really properly comment on anything BUT ONE THING I CAN is that you’re an absolute sweetheart and you made me feel SO MUCH BETTER with your messages BUT IK WE’RE GONNA BECOME HELLA CLOSE 

@jaehwansspookywife LUCY LUCY LUCY you are the funniest person ever you are so nice and sweet and hilarious and conversations never get boring w you we don’t talk THAT often but when we do i always genuinely enjoy it love youuuuu ALSO OBSESSED W JAEHWAN DON’T LET HER i don’t think he’s cute FOOL YOU

@kpopsincejune07​ JEN I LOVE YOU you were one of my first fans and you’ve been a huge supporter ever since AND WE BECAME CLOSER and talk when our stupid time zones all us lol and please don’t stress about work and take care of yourself also thank you for always reposting great fics BUT IM WAITING ON YOURSSS PLEASE PLEASE POST YOUR FIC i am waiting till this day for it ily

@ongsecngwoo​ GINNY MY LOVEEEEE i always love talking with you our conversations are always good and hella fun even tho we end up replying hours/days after EH ITS TIMEZONES but also i love your blog it’s so pretty AND THE CONTENT YOU REBLOG just yes yes yes also DONT STRESS ABOUT SCHOOL TOO MUCH AND YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF but also you haven’t replied to my messages in ages so i hope everything’s okay?? i just love you loads :)))

@parkkwoojin ace we don’t talk as much as before but I STILL CARE AND LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH you’re soon easy to slander but since i promised to be sweet i’m being sweet hehehe BUT GENUINELY YOU POST BOMB ASS GIFS AND ALWAYS IMPRESSED BY THEM and your gifs of woojin OOFT MY HEART DIESSSS just thank you for existing

@porkjeojang SUMMER OMG SUMMER YOU ARE SUCH A SOFT SWEETHEART WHICH I LOVE SO MUCH but you can also be one HELL OF A BITCH sometimes ya know?? also she says she’s loyal to jihoon but IVE SEEN HER EYEING DANIEL UP but she super multi talented making pixels, gifs, mood boards and writing scenarios LIKE TEACH ME YOUR SECRETS but i love you so much and without you my dashboard wouldn’t be complete

@spooky-jihoon NAIA IK WE AIN’T THAT CLOSE BUT YOU WERE ONE OF MY FIRST MUTUALS I TALKED TO sooo i put you here hope you don’t mind I MISS YOU A LOT you’re a literal angel AND PROBABLY THE MOST DEVOTED JIHOON FAN I KNOW like jihoon content right here ppl right here and ik you won’t see this after your hiatus BUT I LOVE YOUU 

@wannabl​ okay hana we haven’t talked in fucking ages cause i felt like you just didn’t really want to chat ya know? especially cause you’re so so busy w irl stuff but like i do really really miss you and i’ve actually sent a few anons saying that i do miss you and wanting to see how you’ll react never got a reply :( but genuinely in awe of how easily you make friends and that you have so many different types of works and i’m so glad you have so many people that recognise that like your anons (and i’m sorry if i was too overly jokingly bitchy) and everyone just go through her master list or just check out her blog cause genuinely such a funny person and has amazing content on there

@wanna-one MERVE you’re my sister/protecter from all things bad (like makeout scenes lmao) but even though you “hate” daniel you have your sweet ASF moments about him you basically confess you love everything about him AND SO MUCH DANIEL CONTENT ON YOUR BLUG BUT you’re always tired and stressed and i wish you were decently okay and happy but remember you’re so sweet ridiculously smart AND i still need to see a photo of you anyways i love you sooooo much and so does daniel ;)

@woojinstinygf OMG KITTY YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART AND PROBABLY THE MOST DEVOTED WOOJIN FAN IK (sorry all those woojin stans out there but like kitty takes it to ANOTHER LEVEL) i always love chatting w you and you always make feel so soft and happy ANYONE WANTS WOOJIN CONTENT OR SWEET WORDS OR ANYTHING ABOUT WOOJIN OR STRAY KIDS LMAO FOLLOW N MESSAGE KITTY (not actually her irl name but she tells ppl to call her that soooo ya)

IM SORRY IF I MISSED YOU PLEASE PLEASE MESSAGE ME SO I CAN ADD YOU ONTO THE LIST 

I LOVE YOU ALL BUT AGAIN VOTE!!!! MAGU MAGUUUUUU!!!!

[prettysei-remade]

graphic design is my passion actually the last time i made a graphic of any kind was when i was like 10 and i have sadly Not magically improved since then rip;; also dont worry the comic sans is ironic im not that awful......or am i 

hey there angels (instead of demons bc ur not demons ur all angels get it haha), it’s me, ya maknae! this is a very looooooong post so buckle in, my pals

AHEM 

exactly this time last year, i was probably laughing and/or crying at the thought of ever having mutuals here, much less having too many to do a proper follow forever in a rush the day before i post it (rip) so becAUSE i ran out of time and would probably give up in the middle, i decided to just talk abt how much i love everyone in the Stream Team gc and also make a shitty graphic so i could bless ur guys’ new years with ot13 and make it seem like i know what i’m doing :) 

ok im gonna get sappy for a sec and then u can all get to the part u actually care about (the part that’s also sappy but directed at specific people) 

my friends!! my loves!!! the bestest people on the planet!!!!! i love you <3<3 you guys are the sweetest, kindest, most understanding, most hilarious group of friends in the world and i’m so fucking lucky to know all of you. you make me laugh,,you make me cry (in a good way),,,,,you make me like myself when i dont feel like it,,,,im so?? blessed??? to have people to talk to and scream abt kpop with and be myself around. i’m more comfortable with u guys than probably anyone else?? like. even irl because 1) i’ll probably never come out, 2) none of my friends know anything abt kpop, and 3) none of my friends are rlly.....aware of the things my brain tells me about myself sometimes. which brings me to the last thing before i start yelling abt u all in alphabetical order: 

thank you guys for being the Good Brains to help out when my Mean Brain gets too mean. 

💙 

@byungjoo 

laura!! idk if u think abt this as often as i do (probably not) but like,, remember before we were friends and we had that ““discussion”” for abt .2 seconds regarding toppdogg going on the unit and then i thought u hated me for a couple weeks and then we became like the most amazing friends?? well reminding you of that is basically my long roundabout way of saying that our friendship is kind of a miracle to me, and i’m so so thankful that you’ve become someone i can trust with anything and not be judged for it :’) you always know what to say and you always make me feel special when we talk and just?? wow...don’t forget me when you become the biggest bts blog in the world......i saw one of your gifsets that had like 5k+ notes and almost shed a tear i was so proud of u.. i love you and thank u for being amazing all the time!! and for introducing me to twice and gfriend aka the most amazing girls!!! and of course....#laurjoo5ever <3

@gipsydangger 

yo jo (that was lame im sry you deserve better) you havent been in the chat for super long but you’re One Of Us and also 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad so lots of love for you!! thank you for singing all star with me in an attempt to cleanse our chat of ******** (im just (all)starring out his name so he doesnt find this post and try to eat my heart again), thank you for being so nice and thoughtful and sweet and all the other amazing things youve been already, thank you for giving iz a shot and somehow becoming a fan in like 5 minutes (???amazing) you!! are a rock star!!! wow!!!!!!

@hjjxxn​

ok alex i know you’re not tec h ni c a l ly in the chat but lets be real;;you’re still my Toppklass Queen ;; ur adorable! ur so kind! u work so hard! ur such a sweetheart! forget toppklass queen, u r the queen of my heart 💖 i cant believe we’re both hojoon stans AND yoongi stans it’s like we were meant to be friends or smth idk?? and you got me into winner and sent me the bEST videos of them holy shit im still laughing abt the one where theyre dancing to ‘hello bitches’ jshdkahds and mino’s duck song,,i cri :’( you have the best taste so i’m vv grateful to know you in the first place and! talking to you is super fun even tho we dont do it often <3<3 ilu <3

@itsachocolatecake 

jess <3 our leader,,mother,,,resident Cutie Pie <3<3 i am so fond of you?? you’re loads and loads of fun to talk with and the chat would be so different without u, i’m not even gonna imagine it!! instead im gonna remember how you always cheer me up right away and help me remember whats good about myself and tell me that i’m not alone and give me great ideas for metaphors involving brains (like mental brains not physical brains)!!! our mutualness (mutualism? mutuality?? idk) goes waaay back, like, relatively, so thank you for following me in the first place bc it means we’re friends now !! love you <3 

@kimsanggyum 

kaliiiiiii!! my wonderful fellow scorpio (AHEM i mean what im not a scorpio who said that i’ll fight them) ur super fun and cute and as soon as you joined u fit right in even tho we’re all kind of weird and now you are One Of Us and it’s kind of hard to believe that you havent been since the beginning?? you’re such a cutie and i love love love talking to you and stuff <3 jdkjsldf dog pics are one of the many ways to my heart and your dog is amazing!!! thank you for sharing!!! you are amazing!!! tell canyon monroe i love him (again) and tell him from me to be nice to laura too,,anyway!! love u lots <3 

@lapillity 

melia. you. are. the. best. my text posts never go noteless bc of you :’) you’re honestly truly just the greatest?? not just bc you like my text posts tho, youre genuinely sweet and suuuuper nice like,,i cant say anything bad about any of the Stream Team tbh but MELIA!!1! you would have to murder a man for a not-justifiable reason for me to say anything bad about you :/ i think you are an Angel and you’re so cute??how are u so cute i dont get it :(( thanks for being my friend and also helping me reject that guy that one time,,without you i definitely would’ve screwed things up tbh so seriously!! thank you and i love you <3<3 

@minty-sugar-kpop 

minty i think i should tell u now that whenever i type “rip” on my phone the next suggested word is always “minty” :’) we’re always screaming abt kpop groups together like!! when clap was released u screamed about seventeen with me!!! when i told u i was getting into twice u screamed about twice with me!! when nothing else is happening u scream about toppdogg with me (and the rest of us)!!!! i love that youre as excited about your fave groups as i am about my fave groups because it helps remind me that it’s NOT weird to be really super extremely dedicated to things that make u happy and i still struggle with that sometimes so.... thanks for being you i guess?? also for getting rid of ******** from our chat with the power of ot13 :’)) love you <3<3<3 

@reallyabananya

kat!! my Superhero!!! the lifegiver for minsung stans everywhere;; i am so grateful for literally everything you’ve ever done in your life but specifically 1) translating every. single. one. of minsung’s often long and very complex posts, 2) being my role model for running an update-esque blog! like!! if kat can do everything she does for her blogs and translate stuff and be so efficient at everything, i can do it for my one tiny little blog!!, 3) working so hard but always being so so sweet to everyone and being so amazingly humble all the time and being somebody i admire not only as a blogger but as a person too <3 (wow that was che e s y lol) im love you!! <3 

@saltygot7 

hi kendall! another scorpio wowie!!! of course i say “another” bc i already mentioned how kali is a scorpio,,it’s not because i’m a scorpio. because i’m not haha. anyway. im sorry i let ******** come between us, i know you didn’t mean to create a demon that would eventually possess both you and your phone and try to eat all of our hearts. i know and i’m sorry and i love you!!! i also know that you still think those asks u sent were hilarious but i forgive you bc i know you love me too <3<3 i can’t believe my Ultimate Bias and the true visual of our group loves me!! wow!!! thanks for all your amazing selfies, they always make me smile :’) you rlly know how to cheer everyone up and get us in a happy mood and just,,,thanks for always being your lovely self! love u lots <3 

@sunshinesanggyun 

bella 💕 i love you, i love you, i love you 💕 idk if you know this or not, but you were actually my first tk mutual <3 i remember when i got the notif that you followed me back and i was so excited because this person!! this person with an amazing blog and who i already thought was super cool!! wanted to follow me!!! i still think it’s amazing that you wanted to be my friend but i can’t really say that i “can’t believe it” anymore because i can;;; you’re my friend and i’m your friend and i love you!! i’ll remind you of that every day if i have to. you’re the other 1/2 of the Official Ruby-Got-Me-Into-IZ Squad (along with jovano) and it makes me so happy that you’re a fan now too!!!! you’re just awesone tbh?? you help me with my shitty stuff and i try my best to help you with your shitty stuff and!! you’re one of my best friends!! i’m so so happy and lucky and blessed and thankful to know you! never forget how much i love you forever 💕💕💕 

@toppdoggzz 

jacqueline;; the awesome aunt that’s super nice and who helps people when they’re sad;;(i can’t remember jess’s exact wording but it was True);;;; you’re so cool and amazing and honestly i find it incredible how you’ve been with bts from the beginning!! is that a weird thing to say as a compliment?? shdfsdhkd sorry but sticking with a group from debut is really admirable, especially because bts didnt start out super big but you stayed with em anyway :’) you’re such a star and you reblog my selfies when i ask you to (btw ur tags on my latest selfies had me cryin;;find someone who will compliment you every day like jacqueline complimented my decent-ish selfies;;) and you’re so great to talk with and yeah!! i love u!!!! 

@zombietwink 

isaiah. i hope u believe me when i say, from the very bottom of my heart: you are the Meme to my Internet Connection, the Cherry to my Bomb, the Chanyeol to my.....You. idk. you take my worst text posts that i make at like 3am and add the best things to them and make them Good and i love our convos in the replies of my posts alsjdsfjjs also can i just say?? i’m still not 100% sure what the whole thing is with like the “kin” meme (i get what it is but i dont rlly Get It u know) but literally any mention of it ever reminds me of you :’) it’s actually astounding how many memes make me think of you tbh..anyway, ur very very cute and soft and nice and youve been mutuals with me for a Long Time so thanks for thinking im cool enough to follow!!! and for still following me!!! love you <3 

wow that took a long time but it was worth it!! tho i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you just skipped everything and only read the little section abt you lmao 

well, happy new year! i hope lots of really good, and happy, and lovely, and wonderful things are waiting for you in 2018 ✨✨✨

[clevercatchphrase]

2017 in review, and goals for 2018

If I had to describe 2017 in one word it would be... monotonous. Sure, there were plenty of ups and downs, but for the most part, especially the latter 6 months, I just felt like I was going through the motions, holding my nose to the grind stone, doing work and paying off student loans. 2017 blew by me, and I remember thinking each month passed by with unusal quickness. There's a strange sense of disociation with that, like I wasn't really connected to reality for most of the year, and instead watched it pass me by from a seperate temporal window. In a weird way it may have been a bit of a godsend as well. I hear 2017 was hard for a lot of people, but feeling so disonnected from the year may have protected me and cushioned the blow in a sense.

I lost a family member this year in early june. I knew it was coming ever since january as I hated having to watch them deteriorate and get worse and worse until they finally passed. The three months leading up to it and the three months after were particularly hard and left me feeling unable to write or draw or do anything productive. I still miss them terribly. I always will. But I hope I won't let it immobilize me as much this year as it did last year.

Anyway, Let's review my goals for last year and see what I've accomplished. I’ve a lot to say, so for brevity’s sake I’ve put it all under the cut.

GOALS FOR 2017 1) Finish my 50 billion fan fictions so I can get back to drawing Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. HAHAHAHAHA. The depression I got halfway through the year throughly put a halt on this. I haven't even finished one of the fics I've started in 2016. I got close, seeing as i participated in NaNoWriMo this year to try and force myself to finish, but I still need to revise and edit all that I've written and the motivation is non existant. GOD, I have so many stories too, all of them still undertale fan fiction because I'm still not over that game. I'll list them all when I share my goals for this year later below. 2)Draw in 2 pages of my sketch book each week so I'll finish a sketch book in a year. I was SO CLOSE with this one! I filled out 95 pages! But you know what i discovered in august? I realized that my 100 page sketch book.... was actually 150 pages! Oh well! I drew more this year than I thought i would! Just because i didn't hit 100 pages, doesn't mean I didn't accomplish something! 3) Finish 14 out of the remaining 27 lessons on my duolingo course I went fucking above and beyond with this one. I hit this goal back in may, and then I completely finished up the danish duolingo course by november. I also passed my 1095 day streak which translates to doing duolingo daily for OVER 3 YEARS STRAIGHT. I still practice daily to build my vocabulary, and I know I can't speak it for the life of me, or follow along with fast speakers, but give me a few minutes and I can probably read it for you. Funny how that works, where I can understand danish if it's written out, but ask me to translate from english to danish and I struggle like a butterfly in a tumble dryer. 4) Become passibly fluent in ASL I have this box of 600 ASL flash cards, and this year I practiced two of them a day until I got through the entire box. I certainly learned a bunch of new words but I wouldn't say I was fluent yet. I certainly don't know all the grammar rules yet. I HAVE been able to sign with people at my job, though I do rely heavily on fingerspelling still. Most everyone I talked with seemed to know I was trying and they seemed really excited that I could understand them if they were patient with me. I put more of my focus on Danish last year, but now that I'm done with Danish, maybe I can focust more on ASL. My sister told me about this site similar to duolingo called "memrise" that actually has an ASL course, so you can bet I'll be looking into that. 5) Read the entire dictionary I did this! I kept two spiral note books and wrote down any words I thought were cool or interesting! I haven't gone back and re-read the words I wrote down, but maybe I will this year! It was exhausting. It was weird. I still can't believe I spent about 200 hours last year doing this. 6) Read one new book every month Much like my sketch book goal, I almost completed this one. I kept it up every month until October, and then I just... stopped. I read more than I thought this year, though I ended up usually waiting until the last week of each month to read, and I also cheated by counting the dictionary as one of the things I read (hey, it's a book, ain't it?) I also re-read old books that I know I like, so not entirely 10 new books were read this year. Reading 1 new book a month isn't one of my goals this year, but I hope to read more new stuff reguardless, 7) Actually use the tutorials and references I reblog Seeing as I barely did any digitial art this year, I can't say I did this one. 8) Do more art streams I think my goal was to stream once a month. I clearly didn't do this. I DID stream in 2017, I just didn't tell anyone. Idk why, I just... went live for people to see but didn't let anyone know I did. I also only streamed like... twice? sigh... So... out of the 8 goals I set, I would say I accomplished close to half. I read the dictionary, I finished my danish language course (which I'm counting as two completed goals) and combining the "read 1 new book a month" and "draw 100 pages in a sketch book" I'll count that as one completed goal. I went through all my ASL cards, though I'm not fluent, OH! I also wanted to pay off 6k loan that I had. I want to count this one as a success because I DID FUCKING PAY OVER 6 THOUSAND DOLLARS IN LOANS THIS YEAR. I got a surprise loan I had no idea about in june that was 1500 dollars, which threw me off. I managed to pay it off in 2 months, BUT IF THAT LOAN HAD NEVER EXISTED I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE FINISHED PAYING OFF THE 6K ONE. I've got a little over a thousand left to pay on the 6k loan now, which I will complete by the end of January. I'm so close to being under 10k in debt... GOALS FOR 2018 1)Go from being 5 figures in student loan debt down to 4 figures in debt (pay off 2 out of 4 loans) If everything goes according to Keikaku I'll achieve this by the end of June. This has to factor in things like updating my car registration in april, oil changes, tune ups, tire rotation, gas and food expenses, but as long as I don't get fired I should be fine! 2) Stretch Daily Not exercise. I never exercise. But it would be nice to increase my flexibility. 3) STOP TOUCHING YOUR GODDAMN FACE/ find an effective acne treatment I also want to try washing my face daily. Im fucking 25. I shouldn't have this many pimples. 4) Do another song comic I made A lyrictale for Undertale at the end of 2015 in ten days. I want to make another. I already have it scripted, now I just need to do it. 5) Do at least one art stream a month. Hey, maybe I can stream the next song comic I do. Sure, it'd spoil the song and story for everyone, but doesn't that sound fun? 6)Practice ASL I just started looking into Memrise and their ASL courses. They actually have A LOT, AND! THEY HAVE SIGN LANGUAGE COURSES FOR OTHER COUNTRIES! This year is gonna be fun. (Also, the only reason I want to learn ASL because of Undertale. I'll let you figure out how they are connected) 7) Sew 4 stuffed animals I started sewwing a Hobbes plush in the middle of last year. His body is finished. I just never did the head. The other three stuffed animals I want to make I will keep a secret because I love to keep people guessing. 8) Make two AMVs There are two songs I want to put to Avatar; The Last Airbender, and Avatar; The Legend of Korra. I have about half the footage... I just... need to rewatch the shows and put the clips together. Hey, maybe after I find all the clips I can do a stream of that as well. 9) Last but not least, finish my many, MANY Undertale Fan Fics. a. You Monster (34 out of 37 chapters are written, but only 29 are posted) b. Finish the "Of Two Minds" series (it's explicit don't look) c. Color Theory (A chasriel one shot) d. Something Left Behind (Terrible AU Idea #647) e. Let's Get Real (Self insert, joke, parody thing that will also be explicit) f. Game Day! (something about soccer games with Mettaton along the same vain as Field Trip!) g. Would You Like Fries With That (Nicepants because there's not enough of it in the world) h. Science Fair! (something with Undyne and school projects along the same vain as Field Trip!) i. One that is so horribly dark and fucked that I won't even describe it here. Welp! Those are my goals for 2018! What are your goals for 2018? Whatever they are, I wish you success and improvement, health and wealth! Stay safe this year! I love you all~

[withoutka]

Tagged by (stolen from) XD : @itsdeadlights

Tagging: Anybody!~

2) Gender: Female

3): Star sign: Gemini

4): Height: 5'5

5): Hogwarts House: Slytherin

6): Favorite Animal: Bats, Ravens, Parrots

7): Hours of Sleep: 4-6 hours. I think sleeping is a waste of time. I’d rather be doing literally anything else.

8): Dogs or Cats: I grew up with both! I love them both but if I could only have one; Dog. I love me the puppers!

9): Number of Blankets: 1 Heavy Comforter. Not sure you're suppose to use them as a blanket. But it’s soft and very warm.

10): Dream Trip: Norway!!! I want to go to Norway! Occasionally I wanna visit France. But Norway would be cool af!!!

11.) Dream Job: I’m kinda late thinking about what I want as a career. But I’m split between art, computer sciences and wanting to be a mortician!  Thinking about college finally next year!

12.) Time: 8:40pm

13.): Birthday: May 24th

14.): Favorite Bands: Way to many. AURORA, Halsey, Ed Sheeran, MisterWives. I love basically all music. Though I’m not to fond of rap or the older country songs.

15.): Favorite Solo Artist: *SHRUG*

16.): Song stuck In My Head: Here Comes The Sun by the Beatles. Save me...

17.): Last Movie I Watched: IT 2017 for the 4th time probably. Before that I watched “get out”.

18.): Last Show I watched: Hotel Hell or Kitchen Nightmares I can’t remember. Gordon Ramsay is the best. XD

19.): When did I create my Blog: October. I don’t like having muses as sideblogs. So when I made a new character I made a new account. 

20.): What do I post/Reblog: In Character Rp, Memes/asks, ooc, psa important tumblr stuff, and once in awhile something that makes me lose my shit and I might die of laughter.

21.): Last thing I Googled: Black Desert Online Update stuff. Wanna know what’s coming to the game soon!~ (also it’s been laggy af)

22.): Other Blogs: @stolenflowercrown (A happy go lucky roguish thief oc) @anovelmalk (My Malkavian World of Darkness Character)

23.): Do I get Asks: I barely get any. Which is sad, cause Rping and answering asks is like my joy in life!! (maybe that’s not exactly the only joy! But It makes me happy!) I’ll easily admit I’m the shyest person alive and I am terrible at reaching out. Which incidentally is the worst thing to be when your trying to use an OC with rping.  Even a good OC will be passed over easily if the mun isn’t willing to reach out and say hi. (therein lays my issue)

24.): Why I chose My URL: I couldn’t think of anything. I just knew her name was Karma!!! XD (Considering changing it, but im not sure)

25.): Following: 27

26.): Followers: 6

27.): Lucky number: 7, 17, 27, 31, 37, 57 Idk? I like those numbers. I dislike even numbers.

28.): Favorite Instrument: To listen to or to play? I use to play the sax. But I love listening to Cello!!!

29.): What am I wearing: Grey/Black Sweatpants that are like 3 times to big but are super comfy and a grey tank top. I’m gonna be freaking comfterble af after I get home from work tyvm! XD 

30.): Favorite Food: CHINESE FOOD. I could eat pork fried rice for every meal of my life.

31.): Nationality: Polish & Native American! It’s a weird combo. @n@

32.): Favorite song: Something different every day. I will listen to a song until it’s dead to me. Maybe Spectrum from Florence and the Machine!!! I keep going back to it.

33.): Last Book I Read: Baptism of Fire by Andrzej Sapkowski (FK YEAH THE WITCHER SERIES!!!)

34.): Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like to Join: The Witcher, Dragon Age (Or maybe Elder Scrolls?)...and um...World of Darkness. None of them would be easy to live in. But damn. That would be an interesting life!!!

[depvotee]

I got Tagged by @strafethesesinners, @rejected-beater, @xbaebsae, @euryalex @p0lkadotdotdot thanks!

1: Why did you choose your url?

I thought the DEPYOTEE was funny so, where we are. <:P

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.  

OOOF, I have a lot to make “Space and stay on theme in main UwUr”, but all roads lead to rome and I cannot stay on theme for the life of me. SO:

@dep-arts (I let you guess. ;)c )

@dep-insp (I hard one too, I KNOW.)

@oynon-ds (My GreedFall/Pathologic/Bloodborne/Plaguecore. Im very proud of the asthetics on this one)

@intothecogverse (My choices of games blog :P or well, Quinn blog now I guess aksdfas I havent updated bc I havent played another one recentely)

@leather-nomad (Cyberpunk blog)

And another three that are empty, which are swtor themed, horror, black ops: cold war, which im gonna delete soon bc its a mess <:P So yeah, GOOD LUCK KEEPING UP WITH ME.

3: How long have you been on tumblr?  

Since 2013 or so, my old blog, now deleted, was my teen angst. But I made this one on 2017 because I wanted a more video game/art focus and well <:P The shitposting follows me anywhere.

4: Do you have a queue tag?  

“I Queue Away For Fun” lyric from the song Colossus from IDLES, the og one goes: “I waste away for fun.” :)c

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to start new, and I wanted to get into Destiny and then I went down hill from there :P Now, its just thing I like throw around and to talk to people :3c

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Its pride baby!!!

7: Why did you choose your header?  

Faith’s scenes are one of my favorites, I love the little details of I find everytime and that shot particularly makes me think that some of the storyboard artists had that “This photograper took a photo of his gf in every vacation place they went” images on their pinterest. I love the black and the contrast of white.

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

Uuuh, idk, it was shitposting most probably. <:Pc

9: How many mutuals do you have?  

A few :3 I collect them like:

10: How many followers do you have?  

I won’t tell you how many people come to my circus, it's about the confidentiality 😌

11: How many people do you follow?

A shit ton ngl :P

12: Have you ever made a shitposts?

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

I live here. askdjfbaks, this is my cozy trash cotainer. 

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Ummm, nope, never, but even then I won 😌 Its hard to always be right, I know. Someone has to, tho.

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Tbh, I hate them. But I hate even more when they have good resources on it, bc on one hand I understand why say: “You need to rb this” to say important issues (NOT STUPID INTERNET DRAMA/disc horse) and begin desesperate as someone from said affected group, feeling like this issue doesnt matter to poeple while you’re affected on first hand, but It’s also really reductive to say “you/my mutuals dont rb ur/theyre this and that.” Its dumb. It doesnt help. So, yeah, I swallow the pill only when I think its important shit, y’know?

But I also dont want my blog to turn into the yellowbook of donations.

16: Do you like tag games?  

I DO, I LOVE EM, but I haven’t answered some bc I had bad patch recently <:’P

17: Do you like ask games?  

I DO, TOO, just so yall know: if you ever send me an ask or tag and I havent answered, that ask its coming into my dreams asking me “why” I adandoned it, Chirstmas Charol type. 

Rb, dont answer bc you forgot, let it keep u up at night and repeat, I love it! 

And it’s true some people don't have the etiquette of: ask and then rb.

19: Do you have a crush on a mutual?  

When I have my male wife applications, I let you yall girlbosses know ;)c

tagging: @sleepfight, @goodmorningmissmorgan, @kilaem, @iigoeyei, @seyj, @curiousstrawberry, @eulerami, @chazz-anova, @sarchelyur, @jollybone, @xbaebsae, @oldserah, @madsismad, @amistrio, @raccoondog3, @rainbowtroutlesbian, @tommymillers, @fadedjacket, @returnofdedsec, @latinstalin, @redreart, @witchesconstellation, @unlikelynick, @unleashedart, @eydika @native-mason, @cobb-vanthss @chorby-soul @trans-corvo​ @lobanhart​, @shellibisshe​ @returnofdedsec​ @belorage​

[selfcareparker]

hi aria <3 (i just noticed “love letters only” LMAO well good thing this is one of those 😌) it’s lovely anon, sorry for being a shit friend lol but here’s everything i’ve had drafted to send you (well not everything! that would be a lot HAHA)

this is more recent but: can’t wait for the blurb!! (you said it was a blurb right? i can’t find it on your blog now but it was something hdgshs) and the squeaky sneakers 😭😭 stoppppp i can’t

about your theme and your pants lmao:

aw come on i bet ur theme will look great :) aND IM HAPPY ABOUT YOUR TROUSERS LOL but i’ve really been up to nothing? WAIT THATS A LIE- so school ended (yay!!) and ya know i’m still dancing bUT i didn’t go to rehearsal last night (the 27th) bc i hurt my back :/ long story short i was at my brothers football game and they won (like for the first time lol) and i got really excited, i jumped and when i landed (which was on two feet!) my back immediately hurt. i’m okay though!! i went to the doctor and they said it’s just a backache, take it easy, don’t go to dance until next week so yeah :)

update!!! i went to dance last night (the 3rd), almost had an anxiety attack because the it’s the sECOND TO LAST REHEARSAL UNTIL THE SHOW AND I FEEL LIKE IM STILL LOOKING LIKE SHIT 🙃 but my teachers are really nice and they told me i look goooodddd and it’s fineeee so it calmed me down a bit :)

i’m still singing too, i’m in this group which i hate lol but my mom unfortunately said i should finish it out, 1) bc my younger brother is in it and he’s really excited about it which ya know yea i get it, and i don’t mind, 2) bc she paid for it 😭😭 but yeah i can’t wait until that’s over!!

clearly i am very nervous about everything haha anyway, i’m gonna be active more though . i miss talking to you, like a lot lol & i feel like it doesn’t come through BC IM NEVER ACTIVE 😭 but i think you’re the coolest person and whenever i see you post or reblog i’m like ARIA!!! so. love u girl, expect me to blow up your ask box and make u sick of me 🙃 (kidding lol, also i’ve been using that emoji a lot recently..)

ALSO ONE OTHER THING THAT IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO TELL YOU: there was a thing you reblogged AGES AGO and it was about kids who want their parents to get divorced lmao and how they’re awesome. anyway THANKS HAAH, this is probably so random, but anyway i’ve given you like bits and pieces of my home life but i can’t wait for my mom and dad to split up lol like honESTLY WAITING FOR IT

god this makes me sound bored, lonely, and depressed. #lonely anon is really coming through huh. but how’ve you been? just tell me all about it, clearly i’m doing nothing so <3

Snsjsh i forgot to post the blurb (idk if i should call it a blurb or not tbh?) lmao i got nervous and saved it to my drafts even though i had it scheduled for 45 mins ago </3 but i’ll post it after i respond to this ask (idk why but i was so excited reading your ask dksjmm <333)

Omg no need to apologise!!! Also you can literally send me everything and anything you want i’ll always be excited every time lmaoo even if it’s a lot, that’s even better!!!!

I was about to say get well soon but you said you had your rehearsal so that means your back is better i assume (and hope) which is amazing ❤️ (also congrats to your brother <3 i died when you said it was the first time they won aufisjssjk)

GOOD LUCK (even though you don‘t need it 😌 i‘m with your teachers on this one!) FOR YOUR SHOW I KNOW YOURE GONNA BE AMAZING AAAHH💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 Oh also i realised i dont even know what type of dance you do?

Not the singing group thingjfjhh😩 But yeah like your mom said it‘ll probably be amazing for your brother! And idk which one you‘re talking about so idk how old he is but i‘m sure in the future he‘ll be grateful and think it‘s cool that you got to do it together 🥺!!!! but also it‘ll probably be over soo quick and you‘ll be like oh that was quick so. (What was that Sentence dkdjdjjd)

I get that you‘re nervous tho :( but i hope it‘s not a constant state of anxiety and maybe you can change it into being excited about it (isn‘t that what Tom always says? I don‘t find it very helpful 💀 but maybe you do <3)

Dkdkdkdk the parent thing 😭 my parents used to argue alllllllll the time and i‘d like cry in my room every night lmao (is this too personal? lnaodjdkd i mean i feel comfortable with you so idc) and my mom/mum (lol) still says why did i marry your father? at least once a week and I know she MEANS it too but💀 i mean idk what exactly your situation is but i know everything‘ll turn out the best way possible (yk on a long term basis) and maybe you‘ll get two Christmases so that‘s good difkldndns

Okay what‘s new with me.... nothing lmao. I think i‘ll get my driver‘s license soon like i was supposed to have my test in june but that‘s probably not happening so i hope my test will be during the beginning of july because mid/late july i have exams and that‘s already enough stress :( (also i feel like i‘ve been talking about my driving for like six months and still don‘t have my license eldjdkdj (or is it licence???? I think license is the verb but idk) BUT! that‘s just because i didn‘t have any lessons between december and march? because of covid and i‘ve been just waiting to get a test date since april 😭 but because of covid everything is taking so long and yeah </3

Talking about driver‘s license (🥴) i have finally listened to more olivia rodrigo songs and i reallly dont like the sad ones bc they give me anxiety tbh (but most sad songs do so), but i like brutal and jealousy, jealousy (or is it called jealous, jealous? Idk). I have no idea if you even like her but i remember how you said deja vu was good so maybe you like her?

Also I‘m getting my first covid vaccine next week (i know the US is way ahead of us lol but I’m getting mine very early like most of my friends couldn‘t get theirs yet so) BUT i‘m scared that i have covid 😭😭 i went to a friend‘s house the other day and she was gonna walk me home but then we met people from some of her uni courses and i didn‘t mind them (don’t know how i managed that without an anxiety attack tbh) but we were very close and i accidentally hugged one of them dkdkdjdj (accidentally because i forgot covid exists) andddd i‘ve had a cough for a few days but i‘m probably (most likely) just paranoid. also idk if i should cancel my driving lesson which is friday (one day after my jab)(is the word jab a british thing? my (british) grandparents keep saying jab)

Uni has been a bit boring to be honest shdldhsldh but i guess boring is better than hard? not much to talk about theresjdkdkd

Snsnsjsh well i hope you‘re doing well otherwise and i know you‘ll slay your performance and the singing thing will be over soo quick so yeah. you can always come to my inbox (even with non love letters (tbh i thought i‘d changed that to just say letter box dudlfhdkdk)) 💘💘💘💘 love youuuuuu

[ilygsd]

151118

ok so to update my diary cus im so fkn bad at updating i only wrote when im sad or angry LMAO which sjcks bc looking back when im ”stabke” i look like a fkn edgelord and also its just negative shit ans i have so much to write bc i didnt write what happened when i was happy UGHHHHH

ANYWYSSSSSS idk i went to jo’s place, we fucked it was really cozy i felt SPOILT i met him on tues (131118) and then im gonna meet him on saturday (171118) if this doesnt fuck up and yeah i was actually HAPPY!!!!! kind??? yeah i was happy!!! he was emotional!!!! we cuddled!!!! even after sex!!!! yAY!!!!!

but then..........

but then..........

then we had yesterday.......

yesterday where i was sad over gj bc he was jealous and i called jo and he just made me feel like shit tbh and..... i wish gj was still my FP. he has every right to be jealous bc i treated him like shit while im giving jo lots of free-passes and let jim treat me like sjit. i shoulve stayed with gj but i also know i made him a favor by brekaing up. he deserves so much better. i still love him tho. not romantically pr sexually but like.... i just love him. he was my FP after all he was everything. our relationship was fucked up toxic but he was still so kind to be. he took responsibility for both of our feelings, MY feelings. when i was depressed and suicidal and anxious he hugged me until i felt calmer. he was everything and when he left i panicked. i was so fkn mean to him, made him feel like e wasnt enough but i appreciate him so much. even though i hurt him by just junping to this other weird guy gj is still kind to me. he called me disgusting and lots of stuff that really hurt and i panicked and wanted to DIEEEEEE but he’s the rational one. he apologised afterwards and made sure i was okay. even now when im sad bc i wanted jo’s attention and comfort bc he’s my new FP and i dont, gj asks me how i feel. i cant tell him that i want jo’s comfort and thats why im sad but i answers that im sas and really want to cuddle. hes so kind to me. i love him and wish him the best. i just wish he didnt leave me. i hate how i think its ok for him to leave me bc ”i have jo now” but as soon as jo and i fight i panic and NOO DONT LEAVE.

ugh idk what im writing im so fkn tired. im going on another date rn with a person idek like and i just want to sleep and revlog relatable bpd posts and be sad over jo and write shit here but udjsisbsksbskwldlsblsfs IDK

yeah anyways jo called me later yesterday asked if i was ok and i said is as and he hung up and i got sader lmao. then later i got a text that i should watch this amateur porn girl to practice on how to give bjs bc thats basically what im gonna practice on on saturday and im like ok. but then he starts talking abt this girl and idk i just get this weird disgusting feeling like..... im not a fkn porn star. i wanna make him feel good and be his slut bc i love him (kinda) and want his love in return. and then i get sad bc i realise thats not how he thinks and he misunderstands and is like ”i dont expect u to be a porn star but i want u to be my slut and i’ll be urs to keep the passion” and im like HELL YEAH I KNOW IM UR SLUT but i want LOVE in payment and that behind all sex is LOVE. and ofc sexual attraction but mostly love cus even ugly ppl can be sexually attractive. and then he said he had to cut me if i found him ugly and im like ”u dont have the right, ur the one who sees our relationship as a business contract” and he’s like ”yeah i do. life too” and im just ”thats disgusting” and he gets annoyed i can feel it but in already hurt and im starting to split again here we go again wohooooooo. i admit i felt disgusted and used and replcable first time we had sex bc we didnt cuddle or anything i basically just came to his place and performed like one of his porn stars and left and that was it for him. ”damn if u gotta be like that” ”we dont have to do stuff tho its cool” and i get even more sad bc he KNOWS i’ll fuck him anyways and bc i love him and its exactly THAT that makes me sad and i tell him that and hes like ”yeah cus who would be hype after hearing that. logic” (his fucking logic MY ASS GOD I JUST WANT TO KILL HIM), ”u hurt me first”, ”just cus we see things different doesnt mean u can act childish like when ur ex called u disgusting”.

end of text

i cried myself to sleep

okay yes i GUESS i have myself to blame........ but why cant he just comfort me. i obviously just want comfort. i just want his love. here i am, a fuckibg object to him is it that weird to be upset over that??? i think anyone who likes someone would be upset to hear that theyre just a resource, a business contract to them. ”lOgIC”

ughhhhhh. anyways i had mad anxiety and im omw to this other date nd im just sad. will i wait for jo to text me or will i text him. i wanted to text him when i felt better after reading those funny bpd relatable posts i’ll reblog soon but now i sad again bc obviously my mood fluctates but ugh idkkkkk fuck mEEEEE