#idk if im even gonna finish that first one but. oof

[sipsteainanxiety]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

i was tagged by @coopigeoncoo @andypantsx3 @willowser and @namodawrites to do this lil self fic rec game and after finally sitting down to think about it for a very... long... time... i have done it! thank you all for the tag i kiss you each on the forehead and give you a bowl of sliced fruit<3

after looking at all the wips i have in docs right now, i can definitely say that this list would be completely different if i had finished a few of them, but for now this is my ranked list for things i've published already lol

devil's glare — demon!bkg x reader

bakugou katsuki is a powerful demon that you have the pleasure of dating. but when he pisses you off one day, you decide to get back at him in a pretty petty way: drawing a salt circle around you to force him to apologize 

i had THEE most fun writing this one shot LMAO. it was based on a tiktok of all things that i'd found back when i was still on the app pfft. i just loved the idea of bkg being all surly and aggravated that his little human had purposely drawn a salt circle to prevent him from encroaching on their space. and like... him dealing with wanting to idk kiss you so bad but you're trying to teach him a lesson and he's sooooo mad and fuck, he's gonna do whatever he can to get you to comply to him lmao. if i could draw, there's this one scene where you're wearing this like. cute little set of pjs staring up at this big ass demon, wings unfurled threateningly, snarl on his face, arms crossed with a line of salt in between the two of you. like i have a vision. too bad i can't draw it LMFAOO. maybe one day

2. holding out (just for you) — dragon!bkg x reader

in which you find a horrendously injured dragon in a cave and make it your duty to heal him, not knowing that he’s the infamous dragonshifter, bakugo katsuki, who has been cursed to remain trapped in his dragon form forever—unless the spell is broken

this fic... oh boy. i've been working on this fic since mmm 2021 i think? i can't believe it's been a year since the big bang LMFAOO. i also can't blv this shit evolved from being a standalone to having 3 spinoffs and a sequel but well. here we are. complaints aside i really do have fun writing this fic!! i dunno!! i dont think i'd ever read a dragon bkg fic before and i was like fine i'll do it myself and this happened. i added way too much plot and you guys don't even know about half the worldbuilding and shit i have planned for the sequel HAHA. i can't even talk about it bc it would be major spoilers rn rhrsfjhrjfrjrhjg. it's also been giving me such a rough time lately pfft, especially with having to make sure everything lines up for the spinoffs n stuff. im so afraid of publishing ch4 and having to go back and tweak things bc i havent planned out far enough sdkjfsjkdf. i think it just means i'm gonna have to go on a hiatus or smthn and write out all the spinoffs + ch4 at once idk

3. and i give my all (to you) — merman!bkg x reader

you think you bit off more than you could chew when you decided to do your dissertation on ocean acidification, leaving you stranded out in the open ocean. alone. for months. well… maybe you weren’t so alone after all

this is another fic that i've been working on way longer than it's been posted for pfft. i can't blv the first chapter was released over a year ago LMAOOO i am so sorry. i do like this fic tho bc it's one of the easier ones to write and i go back to it sometimes between writing for dragon bkg lol. like i have the chapters all mapped out, all i have to do is sit down and write em. ch2's at abt 3k rn tho and i hit a spot where i'm like oof i dont wanna write these descriptions dfhdkfg it's just a silly goofy story with merbaku and dealing with some of the subtle intricacies of getting to know a mermaid. actually, fun fact, this originally started off as a fic for jotaro from jjba, back when i was in my jjba era. but then i went back to my bkg era and switched it over. i didn't even have to change much LMFAOO jotaro and bkg act the same sometimes. also!! this is the first fic where i'm like... drawing little doodles for each chapter!! and it's so nice but also i'm like damn wtf do i draw for the rest of these chapters.... i'll figure it out ig

4. loving all the parts of you — pro hero!bkg x reader

in which you learn to love all the prickly parts that make up bakugou katsuki

i.. don't think i've thought about this fic for a very, very long time. but i just scrolled thru the masterlist and stuff and i... really liked writing it (when i was focused on it anyways). it's one of my gentler fics tbh. it's more of a character study of bkg, exploring a different aspect of him in each chapter. tbh i need to go through and reread it and make edits so it can better match the writing style i have now, but i rly liked thinking abt what would make bkg tick as a pro and as a person. and tbh, with what i know now of the manga and anime i think i could go very deep with it pfft. also the banner i made for this fic is so cute LOL. it's not high on my priority list rn bc i have other things i wanna work on, but i do hope to return to it one day.

5. forget me not — pro hero!bkg x reader

When you first woke up, you found yourself in a white room, lights blinding you from all directions. A bit disoriented, you squinted and looked around, realizing you were chained to a chair, your arms locked behind you. In front of you was a poster of a man, muscles rippling throughout his body, a spiky mess of ash blond hair nestled on his head, and striking crimson eyes glaring right at you from behind a black mask. In the upper right corner was the name “DYNAMIGHT” in black and orange letters. As you observed the poster, the sound of a P.A. system suddenly rang into existence, the deep, hoarse voice of an unknown person echoing around you. “Your name is [Name] [Surname],” the voice said without emotion, “and you hate the man named Bakugou Katsuki.”

THIS FIC... THIS FCKIN FIC. i have so much i can say about this fic and i am so sorry for the oncoming ramble pfft. firstly, it's both my baby and my number one fucking enemy. like, holy shit i think it gave me the most paralyzing anxiety and bc of this it took me like 3-4 years to finish (apart from being generally busy of course). i started it literally while i was in high school n applying to college, so of course there are aspects of it that i look at now and i'm like mmm don't like that. not to mention there have been so many things that happened in the anime/manga that i wasn't able to add or delve deeper into!! like the war!! bkg's fcking trauma!! midoriya's quirks!! i was an anime only when i first started releasing chapters (and i still am), so i didnt know about the endeavor agency arc or anything so i defaulted to shit with best jeanist and idkidk.

if i could rewrite all of fmn, i think i would. or maybe not all, but a good chunk of it. like i'd condense the first few chapters probably. i also have a different grasp of bkg's characterization now compared to when i was younger lmao. putting bkg in that specific circumstance (iykyk, i wont spoil it) only happened bc of certain outside factors that forced him into that position. which was how i was able to justify it. but... idk. IDK!! this fic had so many things to it that i was not knowledgeable about so i winged a lot of things without doing proper research (i.e. hospitals, police investigations, general bureaucracy and whatnot) and i feel like this has caused certain plot holes that i am not able to detect, but like.... it's been so long already that i'm too lazy to fix it.

i just really wanted to write about having amnesia but... still having this muscle memory and ache of the person you were in love with. that you can fall in love with them all over again. but, jeez, i put the reader through so much that there's so much... trauma and brainwashing and just rhhrhjrkhrhgrkjg. she's a mess and a half!! and this makes it so difficult to read fmn bc she's so frustrating!! but! at the same time idk it was interesting exploring that kind of ptsd and recovery. i think at my core i love writing about truly heartwrenching topics and horror. i rmb i had the most fun writing about reader's nightmares or that one chapter where she was messing around with illusions. actually- one of the things i would change is the reader's fckin quirk and hero name LMAOOOOO what the fuck i made her so op i basically just smashed together dr strange's and wanda's powers for her pfft. i'd also tweak her personality a little, i think.

i digress. anyways. im in the process of editing all of fmn (just like. writing tweaks. changing the phrasing of certain sentences. adding more fluff to descriptions) and i can really see how much my style has evolved lol. like, i am the most happy and proud of the later chapters, where you can really feel certain emotions with bkg and reader. like... the beach scene, or the stakeout scene, or the party scene!! i think i would also add more substance to the investigation and how being a hero is like post-war. the antagonists as well!! there's just so much that could've been built on, but at the same time... i didn't want to go too deep into it bc i was writing an amnesia recovery story.

flaming aside, i am very glad i was able to pull those plot twists successfully LOL. i loved reading people's theories back when i was still updating it, seeing them question things and being like wait a minute... no way... it can't be... it was an era i will never forget pfft. but... because of that expectation i think i was very nervous to reveal specific things or even write the ending bc i didn't know if people would be satisfied lol. fmn was so complicated and for what sdfkjhs. fanfic shouldnt make you this anxious fr and yet there i was. i'm glad im done with it, but at the same time.. i do miss it.

tldr: fmn is the fic that i am the most proud of but also the most insecure LMFAOO. i do eventually want to get to the extra chapters from bkg's pov for it but... idk. i don't wanna even look at it right now sdhfskdfjsf

thank u all for coming to my ted talk B) i'm sorry if u've been tagged alr in this but here we go anyways!! no pressure tags: @earthtooz @call-me-ko @thecatduet422 @boo-kugo @theloveinc <3

[onlyswan]

Hi arttttt❤️🫶❤️🫶❤️🫶

How are youuuu??? I missed you sm😭❤️😭❤️

How have you been omg!!! I feel like I missed on a lot of stuff lol

I LOVED THE NEW DRABBLE😭 it’s so fucking cute ahh jungkook and oc are the cutest!!!

AND???? THE END ??!??!??!!!!! ART???

What the fuck is going on!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I am so excited for whatever that beautiful mind of yours will bring next!!

I’ve been busy with uni (when am I never busy with uni smh) and I finish this long ass term on the 28th of December ugh I’m so excited to just be done with these 6 courses that I am taking.

As for the year-end survey I’m going to answer the questions (even if they’re a bit hard😠)

what is your favorite/s from the drabbles i've put out this year (second in which collection)?

I’ll give you my top 5 drabbles from this collection:

1. in which jungkook wants you all to himself (and bam) and you buy him flowers

This one never fails to make me smile

2. in which jungkook is giving up on you but you have so much love left to give

This one^ killed me but I love it

3. in which you make jungkook’s world spin and you tend to… make him a little too dizzy.

I read this like 1000 times I love it so much

4. in which jungkook can’t sleep, and he can’t stop kissing you either.

This one made me giggle and kick my feet

5. in which a shameless ex-lover makes your bad day worse and jungkook can’t help but to go wherever you are.

me 🤝 oc

themes, lines, paragraphs, or scenes that stood out to you?

art i’m not gonna lie to you these type of questions are the ones that I get on my exams 😭

For the themes ? Idk I just like soft fluffy things 🫶 so soft it makes me wanna throw up

and I like angst (ONLY SOMETIMES PLEASE)

I think this line from in which a shameless ex-lover makes your bad day worse and jungkook can’t help but to go wherever you are. is cute

“aigoo, why are you so messy?“

for scenes I think this one is funny

“ow- ouch- baby! what the hell? what was that for?”

with doe eyes struck by headlights, he gapes at you in surprise as he rubs his poor shoulder that was slapped without warning.

and if it is not too much to ask- who is your favorite character, oc or jungkook?

Not answering because I love them both DONT TRY ME😠

which year/s would you like to see more of from 2017 to 2023?

I really dont mind anything! But I feel like 2019 jungkook is just ❤️‍🔥 and 2022 too oof.

and which season (spring/summer/autumn/winter)?

I’m a winter girlie so obvi winter

I think that’s all of the questions! I had fun answering them haha (even though they reminded me of my literary criticism course 🥲) I am so excited for what the new year is going to bring!! I love you art I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year!!!! I hope that 2024 will be an amazing year for you!

Love, 🥨

PRETZEL ANONIE MY BABY LOVE I MISSED UUUU SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺

i’ve been doing much better since my break from school started !!! i really needed this for the sake of my sanity. hehe this is why i love the holiday season :P

AND THE NEW DRABBLE YESYESYHDJSHDFJJD IHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LOVED IT 🤭

as for the ending… no comment for now bcs it’s so fun seeing y’all freak out <3

goodluck with the rest of your term plssss don’t forget to take care and enjoy your well deserved break after 🥰

OOP YOU SAW THE SURVEY

your top 5 i loveeeee 🥹 also you’re so real for the #5 i think this is the first answer it was mentioned. i’m blushing and giggling just thinking about it rn likejsjdhsjdf

i had to search for which drabble is the scene with the ouch and IM LAUGHINGDHDHFH I FORGOT ABT THE LIP PIERCING DRABBLE. oc’s humor >>>

Not answering because I love them both DONT TRY ME😠

i’m sorry for my fault 😞 i bow my head down again

I had fun answering them haha (even though they reminded me of my literary criticism course 🥲)

this is so funny i’m sorrydhdhsjdhjshf 😭😭😭 i’m a literature girlie through and through i fear. but fr thank youuuu so much for answering i had fun reading your answers too :") hehe you made me smile a lot. i love you sm and i hope 2024 treats you well and brings you an abudance of everything nice in life 🩷 happy holidays!!!! please eat lots of yummy food too hehe :")

[potter-pavlikovsky-popchyk]

content update rant

side note its about to Valentines day and i still haven’t added to my fic AHHHH RIP!!!!! but i swear yesterday i went in on planning stuff so i can try to binge write for that ASAP! in free time now that im basically caught up. but OOF yall idk if ima be able to finish that one in time i will still be posting whatever i do get done and then probably try to finish the other fics i dont have sm to add to (since this ones like a DAMN BOOK in my head at this point lmfaooo and i dont wanna not just let it be exactly what i envision even if it takes longer to make. That being said i’ll probs finish this one for TSH (Richard and Henery ;) lol) and then post it and go back and wrap up the fics i’ve posted first after that like “forget about Kotku” then finish the V-day one, THEN move onto others that i have planned. But gosh i also have an alternative version that gonna ae longer for this TSH fic that more chaotic i plan to do and just SM!!! ugh LORDY GOSH GOLLY GEE WILLIKURS! THIS IS JUST- stick with me folks i’m tryin my best i swear! TSH one is basically done actually i just need a final reread through and figure out where and how i’ll end this version that totally went super soft and fluffy and nice totally opposite of what i started off wanting for it lol. ok update rant done

[chena-h]

Man, it's been raining so much lately. On the one hand it's nice but oof, I do not like driving in rainy weather. Way too stressful.

So, I've been in a reflective mood lately. Sure it comes with the time of year. Creatively speaking, I feel like 2022 was pretty good for me. Im feeling more confident about things I create or ideas I get than I have in the past. I'm kinda happy about that.

Definitely focused more on writing than drawing. While I didn't publish much, I did feel great about the things I did managed to complete. Started taking more notes and being ok with wips. I feel like that's helped a lot. Head feels a little less cluttered and I'm relieved to know that I have a place where I can revisit my ideas when the time is right.

Didn't sketch or draw as much as I wanted to. It's hard because I have so many pencils and pens now (my brother even got me a set of pastels I'm excited about using). I'm not one for resolutions but I'd like to make some time to practice drawing more things. More practice in colored pencil for sure and trying to get through all my pens. At some point, I would like to venture into painting with inkwashes. Watercolors seem super intimidating to me. I've only painted with acrylics a few times and I don't really have the space for it. Maybe someday.

But yeah, this year, I want to try and work on my sense of organization when it comes to my creative projects. Art wise, I tend to be scatter brained ;w; I don't know what that will look like yet, but basically I want to balance time for writing and art projects.

Art wise, I still have that thing I was mentioning last year that I want to finish. I'm about a little over a quarter of the way there, I think? Just need to practice sketching some pieces out more before I draw the final versions. After that, I have a similar project I kind of want to do as well as a short series of portraits feat. one of my blorbos. At first, I wanted it to just be one drawing but I like all the ideas too much to choose just one orz. I also am undecided on which medium(s) to use. I'll see.

Writing wise...lol, I have so many wips now! Which is good. I do feel like I'll return to the Akira manga au series at some point. I've got more scenes from that AU (and I figured out how to end it)! There's also some one shots and a shorter series I hope to finish, but I'm very particular about the order in which I publish fics so idk when that'll be. Right now, though, the bnha fics are what I'm drawn to the most so I'll likely be focusing on those. Want to finish the first part of the series I posted, continue with the Villain AU, and maybe (maybe?) get the first chapter of the other series posted??? Gonna shoot for February for that one, but no guarantees there. There's also that highly ambitious AU fic that I want to write and publish this year, but there's still kinks for me to iron out with that one.

I think this is the longest time I've focused on fanart more than anything original, which is new for me. There are some projects related to my OCs that I have kicking around. Maybe I'll get to those later in the year. I've been debating whether to post original fics to AO3. I went on a deep dive the other night looking for fics tagged as QPR because I was curious and found way more original works than I expected. I know AO3 isn't technically for that, but I generally prefer to have one dedicated place to share stuff. I do have a RoyalRoad account though, so maybe I could use that instead.

Trying to stay positive about this year.

[bi-demon-ium]

🍎🍓🔥 :)

favorite angst quote from a wip

once again lemme pull something out from my most painful au

Milligan squeezed a little tighter as Nicholas curled in on himself, burying his face in Milligan's chest, the gasping apologies and helpless sobs not stopping for even a moment.

But more importantly, it was heartbreaking—he'd always been one to hide his feelings, to smile through pain. Even when he had horrible nightmares, he muffled the tears and pretended like nothing was wrong. So to see him sobbing openly into Milligan's chest, practically begging for forgiveness, was awful.

Milligan gently ran a hand through his hair, feeling the tangled curls give with relative ease between his fingers.

It's okay, Nicholas, was all he could think to say, over and over. It's alright. It's not your fault. You're safe now. You're safe now. I've got you.

favorite poetic quote from a wip

im like 90 percent sure i've shared this quote before but i actually love it so much i'm sharing it again for anyone who missed it,

Since waking up in that cold room, he had very little “fun”. His life had been dedicated first to escape, then to survival, and then to finding out the truth, and then to protecting Mr. Benedict and ending the Emergency. He had mission after mission, and very little in the way of enjoyment.

He knew that was exactly why Mr. Benedict had proposed these things, lately—to try and find him things he’d enjoy, things that weren’t work or missions. And he appreciated it more than he knew how to say.

That was Nicholas for you, though—he was always thoughtful and kind in ways so unexpected and sincere that sometimes being around him felt like basking in sunlight.

dealer's choice of quote from a wip

im just gonna be mean and give this to y'all with literally zero (0) context

And suddenly he had no idea how he ever could have missed it—the curls (although they weren’t graying) and the kind brown eyes, the smile like sunshine, and—the everything, his clothes, the way he was fidgeting with his hands, the way he spoke—

“Cutie” was none other than Nicholas Benedict. There was no one else it could be—the narcolepsy would be coincidence enough, but now that he knew to spot it, it was painfully obvious.

The memory continued to unfold even as Milligan only felt numb shock, watching his past self continue to flirt with a much younger Mr. Benedict, and watching young Mr. Benedict flirt back.

[goldentsum]

━ jealousy

REQUESTS: (seperately) bokuto, hinata, and akaashi x jealous s/o. say that she isn’t a very jealous person to begin with but there’s another girl who seemed to have taken a liking to the boys and she doesn’t like it. add some angst if you will :) hopefully ends with some fluff. 

🎕 asked by: nonnie 🎕

CHARACTERS: bokuto koutarou, hinata shouyou, and akaashi keiji

GENRE: angst, fluff

AUTHOR’S NOTE: i don’t know if i did it right but D: i’m rlly active rn cus im excited idk why-- also hinata has a lot of dialogue in this one

━ bokuto ♡

bokuto is a jealous baby owl and you know it,, know it too well... he gets pouty if your attention is elsewhere even for a minute!

you, on the other hand, is as cool as a cucumber. well, that what it looks like anyway. 

you get jealous quite a lot, to be honest, but your pride won’t live if you show it so you just try to shrug it off every time

but when kou gets a little too much attention it pisses you the fuck off 

you get snappy and your mood is down for the day but kou is always on his way to make it better~ 

the baby owl may be oblivious but when the topic is about you, he pays attention to your every movement and to what makes you tick

so when someone!! a person you hate because of their flirty attitude and rude remarks gets a little too close to your baby--

oh, it's about to go down!

you’re in the cafeteria sitting on one of the free tables, waiting for your hyperactive baby owl, when you see a certain someone clinging to Bokuto and pressing their chest against his arm

aND WHAT PISSES YOU OFF MORE IS THE OBLIVIOUS SMILE ON BOKUTO’S FACE

you turned around and looked at the juice box you bought for bokuto and grabbed it roughly, stabbing the straw to drink it yourself

you knew how popular bokuto was and how ‘plain’ you were but it still hurt when people never respecting bo’s personal space and your relationship as you two were publicly open with your relationship

akaashi, who was lagging behind bokuto, saw this and quickly rescued the dense captain making a certain someone whines about it but akaashi paid no mind and dragged bo away and towards your table

“hey, babe!” 

you looked at him and rolled your eyes, scoffing a little with the straw still on your mouth as you proceed to ignore him

bokuto’s eyes widen at that and sat closer to you, leaning closer and putting his head on your shoulder, nuzzling at you. 

this usually makes you break but nope, your pride said nope and you ate lunch with bo pouting and whining to you. akaashi who watched the whole scene sighed.

the next time you saw bokuto was at dismissal with him racing to your classroom the moment the bell rang. he went inside when your teacher dismissed you and waited on the side for you even though you were ignoring him. but what slightly shocked you was the serious face he has on. 

when everyone else was gone and you were about to go to, bokuto grabbed your hand and made you stay

“what’s wrong? please talk to me...” He whispered, hugging you close to his body. 

you pouted at that, the gesture cracking your cold demeanor quickly. you sighed and hugged back the sweet boy.

“i’m sorry for ignoring you, kou...” 

you felt his smile on your skin making you smile too

“It’s okay but please explain...” 

his innocent words and eyes made you shy. maybe you overreacted a little bit but your ego is too big sometimes

you averted your eyes and looked at your shoes, bokuto’s arms still around you. 

“cus... you let (h/n) touch you and you were smiling too!” 

you whined a bit, looking up at him. his surprised expression then turned into relief and he started laughing

“who knew you were the jealous type too, (Y/n)!” 

you pouted and hid your face on his chest, 

“shut up... i’m human too, ya know... and you’re not one to talk, you’re the one who always gets jealous..”

“That’s cus my girlfriend is too pretty and too many guys have their eyes on you!”

you scoffed playfully at that, not having the energy to remind bokuto that those guys were just asking for some notes or something to you, knowing well that it would brew into bokuto pulling up his ‘facts’ and arguments on you again that those guys were unto something...

“shut up, you owl”  

“your owl~” 

━ hinata ♡

this small bean is also one of the easily jealous type and he creates a safe and danger distance around you in his mind

there’s only a certain distance a guy can come close to you and if that line gets crossed, he goes pROTECTIVE MODE

tanaka and noya are proud of their pupil as they watch him circle around you like a rabid dog or crow?

he is always with you! ALWAYS! And he always buys you some cold drink or if you don’t bring lunch, he lets you share his bento with the courtesy of his mother as he asks her to make a bigger lunch for him when he knew that you don’t really bring your own lunch.

so when it was lunchtime and hinata was nowhere in sight, that worries you a LOT

you run to the courtyard where you two usually hangs out with kageyama but was surprised to only see Kageyama and his milk box

jogging up to the tall male and you asked him about shoyou and you heard an answer you were not expecting to hear

“some fancy pink letter asked him to go to the rooftop, it said that they wanted to say something to that tangerine” 

(y/n).exe has stopped working

kageyama looked at you with a quirked brow, still sipping on the milk box, he poked you with a curious look

“why did you let him go, you idiot!” you said, surprising kageyama who pouted and glared at you

“why the hell are you yelling? he’s just meeting someone!” 

“you dense blueberry!” you shouted and hit kageyama on the shoulder with a light scowl

kageyama was about to retort when a familiar childish growling caught his attention as you both looked at the side and saw a glaring hinata racing towards you two at a fast rate

“why you kageyama--! don’t get too close to my girlfriends!”

hinata slotted himself between you two and started bickering with the tol blueberry

you sighed at the scene in front of you and a light pink object caught your attention. there it was, a pink chocolate bar in hinata’s hand as he waved it around, trying to punch kageyama. 

you frowned at it and started walking away, leaving kageyama and hinata at the courtyard. hiding from hinata, you ate lunch in the bathroom stall as icky feelings start to grow.

after lunch, you quickly run to your classroom wanting to avoid seeing hinata at the moment 

but luck wasn’t at your side when Hinata dragged you off and got inside the janitor’s closet with you. 

“hinata, what are you doing! lunch is already finished, i’m gonna be late for class!” 

you tried to leave the small room but hinata closed the door when you tried to open it

“no! you left me with kageyama all lunch break!”

“i-i had a stomach ache and went to the nurse’s office--”

“i went there too, you weren’t in there” 

an awkward silence filled the small room while you looked at hinata with surprise

“i-it doesn’t matter--”

“It does matter! If you feel the need to lie to me then it’s a big matter!” hinata said, frowning at you 

you sighed and let hinata hold your hand

“please tell me what’s wrong” 

“i heard you got confessed to”

hinata blew a fuse at that and started waving his hands furiously, “h-how’d you know?! i didn’t accept it, i promise--!” 

“you didn’t?” 

hinata stopped for a moment and looked at you, eyebrows furrowing

“yeah, i got myself the best girlfriend... why would i wanna change that?” 

you went closer to Hinata, letting your body hit his and hugged him

“i-i’m sorry... it’s just that, i thought you would find someone better and leave me...” 

“I WOULD NEVER! You’re the best girlfriend in the whole wide world, (Y/n)!”

“You’re the best boyfriend too, little tangerine” 

━━ akaashi ♡

let’s be real here, you’re definitely the jealous one in the relationship. I mean having a boyfriend who’s too pretty to comprehend and easily attracts a lot of attention can make you like that. but you hide it pretty well, well most of the time anyway...

akaashi always ALWAYS pays attention to you and knows everything that can trigger you to become sad, angry, jealous, and happy

he always makes sure that you’re always fine and happy, that you’re comfortable and content

we stan the perfect boyfie 🥺

bUT he can be quite dense sometimes when it’s not about you or volleyball.. fUKURODANI PPL ARE DENSE 

girls would always flock his classroom before you can get there, snacks and treats in their hands to give it to akaashi and being the petty little gremlin that you are, you were pouty

akaashi sighed because it’s always either you were pouty or bokuto is and sometimes the worst-case scenario happened where both of you are pouty at the sAME TIME! 

akaashi= Mom Daddy

you reached our final form of pouty when you saw a certain someone a bitch dragged akaashi to talk to him or whatever and being the curious thing you are, you followed them and hid behind the vending machine, listening to their convo

“you know, your girlfriend is cheating on you, right?” 

wHY THAT BITCH! She just lied like it’s her common language wtf! 

you prayed that your baby boo won’t believe her cus YOU ARE NOT CHEATING ON HIM! why tf would you cheat on him when you hit the jackpot? tf

“and you must know that spreading rumors and lies about a person can take you off the first string in the track team right?” 

oOF--! YOUR BOYFIE REALLY POPPED OFF HUH

you snickered behind your hands, listening to the lying snake stutter a complain but akaashi cut her off 

“if this is all then I’m going now but if i hear any rumor circling around (y/n), i won’t hesitate to take action myself.” 

the snake scoffed at that and walked away, stomping 

there was silence for a moment but then keiji called out, surprising you

“i know you’re here, (y/n)” 

you stiffened at that and moved away from your hiding spot while coming up with excuses

“i-i wasn’t doing anything! she just dragged you off so i followed--!” 

akaashi smiled softly at you, walking closer and patted your head gently making you feel flustered.

“i know, let’s go? you must be hungry” 

“you won’t leave me for her, right, keiji?” 

akaashi shook his head at your question, a small smile on his face and looked at you, letting his hand fall and held your smaller hand in his

“it’s not like you’ll let me leave”

“HEY! you make it seem like i’m holding you as a hostage or something!”

“hmm”

[saintobio]

okay so ch8 hurt a lot more than i thought and i’m actually trying not to cry for multiple reasons and like i’m nervous and so heartbroken for y/n bc she is actually traumatized and that the possibility of sera getting pregnant is a possibility and is it bad i think i’m numb from angst??? like this is probably the heaviest angst i’ve ever read and idk like sometimes my mood is like up and down constantly bc of this series (i promise this isnt an attack) and i think now i just kinda want to take a depression nap but i’m so hurt for y/n bc i think i relate to her a lot to the point to where its scary sometimes like trying to keep the peace to not rock the boat too much really hits home and so does honestly having to bottle everything up at the sake of your own sanity. also i’m so upset bc y/n doesnt even know that gojo actually rawdogged his mistress out of spite afterwards bc she passed out from the distress of arguing and basically losing her patience and i feel like she might blame herself for that when gojo was in the wrong (the raw sex) and honestly she deserves better and at this point i’m rambling so ill stop

damn this was long asf either way i suck at expressing myself but i’ll try harder next time :\

more below

Anonymous said

i just finished reading chapter 8 and i feel completely broken. im literally crying and shaking and had to take a pause. i wanted to mention how me and y/n have thalassophobia. also… i knew it. sera is such a manipulative bitch. how dare she say the things that she says when she. is. the. mistress?!! she must want her life to be harder than it is bc just like y/n said in the eyes of society -even if to her and him she was first (she wasnt)- she is gonna be a whore. someone like gohoe’s stepmom. using him just to climb up. gojoe is such a stupid ass bitch. i literally lost feelings for him today just like y/n. how dare he get mad when he knows the shit him and his mom went through inside a marriage like that. the mf came inside sera’s stupid ass too. im glad geto said something. im so happy his friends are mad at him. im glad to know they wasn’t okay with this situation in the first place but were trying to be good friends. gojoe is so stupid omg. i was literally crying the whole time. funny of him thinking that no one else would fuck us aside from him as if toji wasn’t there and as if he didn’t get jealous over the way guys were looking at y/n. tbh, idc if they end up together or not. im a hard simp for gojo but this is a story where i wouldn’t mind it at all if y/n doesn’t end up with him. what a mf. i understand that he has gone through stuff but the way he treats y/n has no excuse!! like literally no excuse. i feel bad for what he goes through but he is just taking it out on her. im sorry if this doesn’t make sense but i’m still going through the emotional pain of this chapter. poor y/n.

Anonymous said

Well that chapter was… really something else. My heart was hurting for y/n the whole time. However, I’m so happy that y/n finally voiced her feelings about everything Gojo’s put her through, I can’t even be that upset with her for throwing his mother leaving back in her face. And sera’s bitch ass brings out the most violent of tendencies within my soul, with her fake niceness and bitchiness. I hope karma hits her like a freight train, her having a prior relationship with Gojo in no way excuses this bullshit behavior of hers. Please tell me she doesn’t end up with Gojo, even if Gojo and y/n don’t end up together, she doesn’t deserve it or even him at this point. I’m glad that Geto and Shoko stood up for her the whole time and made bora bora more bearable, but Gojo just needs Jesus and therapy. Until then, Toji x y/n ❤️

Anonymous said

I am so excited for the future chapters. Can't wait for gojou to get a taste of his own medicine. I was rereading the earlier chapters and oof the things he said and did to mc hit even harder. I really don't know how anyone can move past the trauma and pain he inflicted on her. I don't know what the general consensus is among all the readers, but at this point I really REALLY want mc to find happiness and I don't think gojou is it 😔 It goes without saying though that we would absolutely love anything you decide to do plotwise. Thanks for the update! Please remember to take care of your health and please don't feel pressured to update if it interferes with your life and health. We are not going anywhere:))

Anonymous said

I have no words just that wow, you did an amazing job, i am speechless, SN is becoming my fav fic ever, I- i don't know what to say...You re such a talented writer, thank you for this chapter. THANK UUUUUU

but okay,,,,FUCK SERA AND GOJO THO FUCK THEM BOTH.I CAN'T STAND SERA BITCH ILL DROWN YOU.As for Gojo,,,I FEEL SO BAD CAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING HATE HIM I WANT HIS REDEMPTION ARC IM SO SORRY Y'ALL CAN HATE ME FOR THIS;((((((

this was incredible, very excited for whats coming, i fully trust you, my heart is in your hands do what you want with it SKKSKS take care of yourself and stay hydrated!!! MWA BIG KITH - 🍬

( manifesting Gojo's infertility)

Anonymous said

sera fr gonna babytrap gojo huh...

gosh i wish them the worst. im so glad the bestest person ever y/n finally decided to tell what she actually feels about their messed up situation, like you go girl i will hold your purse, show them who's the boss. and if there are sera and gojo apologists out there, why? please i knew sera was fucking suspish even back then and the audacity to come at y/n like that, gosh makes my blood boil fr. sometimes i wish y/n doesn't play by the rule and straight up be mean and put sera and gojo on a lot of blocklist so at least the thing sera moaning about how selfish y/n be comes true. pull the strings and show badass you are, y/n, maximize your power as an heiress. do it for capitalism! /j. Y/N CORRUPTION ARC WHEN!!

Anonymous said

OH SHIT IDK FUCK UHM FUCK I JUST FINISHED THE CHAPTER I WOKE UP AT 4AM FOR THIS I SET AN ALARM ON GOD AND ITS FUCKING BREAKING ME OMYGHOD JWDISISJAIXJAIDJW FUCKING SATORU MAN HE DIDNT FUCKING PULL OUT FAST ENOUGH IM GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM, HIS SEEDS BETTER BE SLOWING THE FUCK DOWN

but fuck i love him too much fr fr, anyways on the other note i love Ieiri and getou so much if i could only bitch slap sera the fuck out of this world i would've

and to think i gave that bitch the benefit of the doubt cause it make sense for her to hurt and be with gojo even after he got married since they were together initially but bitch IMMA CLAMP THE FUCK OUT OF HER FACE IF HE DOES NOT STAY ON HER FUCKING LANE SHE OUT HERE TESTING MY FUCKING PATIENCE ON GOD

i super love and adore ur writing btw hehe

Anonymous said

OMG CH:8 has mee so livid istg I can’t even explain. YES!!! Y/n out here finally standing up for herself and slapping tf out of Hoejo, and the whole “your mom” thing I CACKLED ALDOSWBDO it was so mean yet deserving like

I love the realization for both Getou and Shoko they both finna drop Hoejo and get a new bestie bc gurl they are not for it😩

correct me if I’m wrong but you said said gojo decided to pull out of Sera, but it was “the rest” of it…. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT HE ACTUALLY C*ME in her😮😮😮

Bc if that’s the case and point

Sera’s whole “if I have his baby then imma have him too.” crap is end game.

But anways I loved this chapter! It was a sad read but I can’t wait for the reverse role arc!

hello edit response later when my headspace isn’t 📉 thank u to everyone who submitted asks ai needs some rest for now 😭

[levi-ish]

Little Talks | 3

Pairing: Bartender!Levi X Reader

Genre: [+18] Slice of life, drama, romance, fluff, smut

Words: 4k

Warnings: Alcohol, cheating mentions, drugs, cussing

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Masterlist

You [18:21PM]: idk what to wear, help!!!

Mikasa-tu-casa [18:21PM]: u dont need to go all fancy, its just us.

Sash [18:22PM]: wdym??? Its my bday bitch, fuck yea go all out. i am wearing my best dress.

Annes [18:23PM]: whats the point if ur gonna throw up all over it

Sash [18:23PM]: im gonna be hot, that’s the point.

Mikasa-tu-casa [18:24PM]: where are we going again?

Sash [18:24PM]: that same bar from ur bday, (y/n) suggested it

Annes [18:24PM]: my friend works there

You [18:25PM]: ur friend? Jean?

Annes [18:25PM]: yea, we had chem together last semester. hes rich.

Sash [18:26PM]: ohhh I remember him hes the hot bartender. didnt (y/n) make out w him?

You [18:26PM]: wtf i did not

Mikasa-tu-casa [18:26PM]: he was kinda cute

Sash [18:27PM]: ok im gonna shower

Annes [18:27PM]: aren’t we gonna meet at 9?

Sash [18:28PM]: it takes long to look this good also nic is bringing my present and I wanna look good for him

You [18:29PM]: aww cute

Mikasa-tu-casa [18:29PM]: just finishing up some work then im getting ready

You [18:30PM]: are we meeting in the front or are we carpooling?

Mikasa-tu-casa [18:30PM]: annie said armin was going to pick us up

Annes [18:31PM]: he is

You [18:31PM]: see you there then

You took a last glance at the mirror, adjusting your hair so not one strand would be out of place. Two sprays of perfume on your neck and inside your tan sweater and you were ready, running your hands through your skirt to eliminate any wrinkles as you sat on the sofa and scrolled through your phone as you waited for your friends to pick you up.

It took longer than usual to get dressed tonight; you wanted to look good. After the drunken rendezvous with Jean and Levi, you felt too ashamed to come back to the bar, but something inside you bubbled in warmth when you thought about how those strong arms held your hazy frame, holding you close and breaths mingling together…

A honk from outside took you away from your thoughts and you shook your head, grabbing your keys and leaving the apartment.

You entered the white car and found Annie and Armin on the front seats, saluting you as you hugged Mikasa that was sitting in the back.

“Where’s Sasha?” you asked and Annie looked over her shoulder.

“She said something about her present taking a little longer, but she’s joining us later” you nodded and hugged your body as you watched the outside run by while Armin drove carefully.

The drive to the bar wasn’t long, but every little second seemed to last ages; heart pounding inside your chest and hands slightly shaking as they hugged your body. Armin and Mikasa were making small talk as you kept on thinking about Levi, and how everything changed the second he touched you. He surely was a handsome man, and you liked how he seemed to care even if it was in his own weird way.

As you arrived, Sasha was already waiting in the front and with her arms open to hug you three. Armin gave the girl a small hug and kissed Annie’s cheek before leaving you girls to enjoy your night. It was Friday, so the place was bubbling with people from the inside out, some smoking outside and some were at the door, drinking from their bottles as they talked about stuff and laughed loudly.

You were fading away slowly from the conversation as the girls talked about multiple stuff, you didn’t want to be like that, but your whole head was full of anxiety and thoughts about the short man, hoping to see those grey eyes and enjoy his presence from afar. Maybe you would even have the chance to apologize for giving him trouble.

Sasha led the way and found you guys an empty booth, sitting by your side as Annie and Mikasa sat in front of you, and your eyes kept wandering around, trying to spot him. You saw Jean, mixing drinks without any skill and the other person behind the counter, hair up in a ponytail and talking using a lot of hand gestures. You didn’t remember their name though; it was something like Zoey?

You offered to get their drinks and excused yourself to the counter, walking slowly as you kept looking around for just a sight of the man, unsuccessfully. Jean seemed to be busy so the other bartender found you and introduced themselves as Hange, getting excited over how the night was buzzing. You noticed how they exchanged some looks with the busy man, but didn’t make too much of it, ordering the first round of shots and beer for you and Mikasa — plus some hot wings for Sasha because you knew she would be hungry.

Hange handed you the beers and said they would get the other things ready for you at the table, so you went back to your friends.

“Hey, (y/n)” Sasha snapped her fingers in front of you and let out a small chuckle. “What’s up with you?”

“Huh?” You shook your head slightly, gripping the sleeves of your top in your palms. “Uh, nothing, just looking around.”

“More like looking for someone” Annie observed, keeping her hands in front of her mouth as she talked.

“Ohh, is it the hot bartender?” Sasha leaned on the table, watching your face closely.

“Jean or Levi?” Mikasa asked, letting out a small yawn.

Wait, what?

“How do you know Levi?” you frowned as Annie excused herself to go to the bathroom.

“You mean my cousin, Levi?” she crossed her arms over her chest and gave you a curious look. “The one who owns this place?”

Fuck, what?

Levi owns the bar?

Well, he was always the one to close the place.

Wait, fuck.

He’s Mikasa’s cousin?

That kinda made sense, at some point. He looked like Mikasa to some extent, same cheekbones and the same cold stare. God, now that you learned that new piece of information, things started to fit together more and more.

But the real question was, where is Levi?

“So it’s Levi then” Sasha pointed out, seeping on her beer while Hange came with the shots and placed them on the table with an excited screech.

“What are we celebrating?” They clapped happily, looking between you.

[…]

It started playing some Akon song when you guys downed your fifth shot for the night. Sasha was on her third plate of hot wings, stuffing her face while sauce accumulated on the sides of her mouth. Annie had that blush around her cheeks and was playing with a straw she put on her beer mug, twirling it around her fingers and humming to the rhythm of the music. Mikasa didn’t seem drunk at all to the naked eye, but the way she giggled from time to time was a signal that the alcohol was getting through.

You stopped looking a long time ago, knowing that Levi wasn’t around and wallowing in your misery wouldn’t do you any favors — you just hated that you had dressed at the thought of him being there.

The bar was already emptying, the buzz of conversations dissipating as you gulped the rest of your mug, letting out a satisfied sigh.

“Ah, there is my favorite client” you heard a voice approaching, turning right away to see where it was coming from only to find Jean already folding his black apron. “Ohh, Annie, you’re also here. Haven’t seen you since… chem? Still mad I cheated from you?”

The blonde rolled her eyes and sipped on her beer. “You’re lucky I didn’t snitch.”

“Don’t be like that” he smiled as he scooped closer to you, resting an arm around your shoulders. “Aren’t you gonna introduce me to your other friends, (y/n)?”

“That’s Mikasa and that’s Sasha” you pointed at them and they gave small waves.

“It’s my birthday!” The ponytail girl exclaimed, giving him a small full of sauce. “Put some wings on the house!”

“That’s not how it works” Jean smiled shyly, turning his attention on you. “Unless…”

The girls did the same, all staring between you two in confusion.

“Unless what?!” You frowned, pushing the empty mug forward.

“We can put it on lover boy’s tab. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind” the ash blond man gave you a little jab with his elbow and a shake of brows.

You blushed profusely. What?

“Oh! You mean Mikasa’s cousin?” Sasha put a finger under her chin, looking as if she was thinking hard. “What’s his name again?”

“ARE WE TALKING ABOUT LEVI?” you heard a scream coming from the counters and all your heads turned at once.

Hange jumped over the wooden surface and rushed to your table, putting both their hands in front of your group.

“I heard… oof” putting a hand to their chest, they exhaled loudly, rubbing a droplet of sweat from their forehead as they scooted closer to Mikasa’s side, earning a confused look from the girl, “I heard we were talking about Levi.”

“Hey! It’s my birthday!” Sasha cleaned her hands with some napkins and pushed the small, stained bowl in front of the new bartender. “What about some wings on the house?”

Everyone gave the girl a quick glance.

“Oh, oh, oh! Jean!” Hange threw their hands in the air. “Is she the girl?”

“Huh?” You frowned, feeling blush creep onto your cheeks as small chills ran over your body.

“Shouldn’t you guys be working?” Annie asked and they shuddered their shoulders at the same moment it was almost comical. “Hm.”

“What do you mean ‘the girl’”? Mikasa played with the rim of her mug, biting her lip as she seemed to try to understand the situation.

“Jean’s been telling me things” the other bartender wiggled their brows at you teasingly.

“What’s even there to tell?” You now shifted in place, feeling annoyed. “God, he’s been a friend to me lately, what else?”

The ash blond licked his teeth and leaned over you, arm grabbing you closer to his body as he pointed at your nose.

“Makes sense, but at the same time, you’re the only girl Levi has been hanging around since he—”

With a hard slap on the mouth, Hange shut Jean before he could say anything else.

“JEAN!” they screeched, looking distressed. “Not your story to tell.”

With that, they stood from the booth and grabbed the boy by the collar of his shirt, giving you girls a big smile.

“We are closing in 20, I’ll bring another round of beer for you.”

“Wait!” Sasha stopped them and stood from the table; eyes desperate as the remaining people hanging around the bar. “What about the wings on the house?!”

Soon, you were finished celebrating, going over gossip and laughing about nostalgic moments you had spent together earlier in life, and cringing over some other memories, like when you hooked up with Reiner once, or how Mikasa used to fawn over Eren to the point she would even do his homework without asking twice.

After the last round, you split the bill and sang a short ‘happy birthday’ to the brunette that was kind of bummed because she didn’t get her so desired hot wings, and then everyone started to call their rides. Mikasa was sharing an uber with Annie since Armin must’ve been sleeping at the time and Sasha called Niccolo, since they still had to celebrate, she said — you had a feeling that he would have to cook another dish for her to compensate for the wings.

“Are you coming?” Mikasa asked you, tugging on her red scarf as she gathered her stuff from the table.

“No, I gotta go through my tab with Jean” you told them as they were standing, clearly flushed from the drinks. “You guys go, I’ll see you back on Sunday for brunch.”

Annie and Mikasa gave you another look to confirm if you were really staying behind and you just nodded with a small smile while Sasha ran to her boyfriend as he entered the bar, almost dropping him to the floor.

You were sure to stay, now feeling more sober since you didn’t drink as much as usual, still not over the hangover from last time — you became too intimate with your toilet.

“Take care” Annie pointed her chin at you, turning to leave.

Now there were only you and the last two bartenders present. Hange was cleaning some things while Jean yawned, looking half-dead as he threw some old peanuts in the trash. You walked there and sat on the small stool, giving them both a short grin.

“You’re still here? Jesus, woman, just go home” Jean snapped and Hange threw a rag at him.

“Don’t talk to her like that” they grabbed the rag from the floor and washed it on the sink before returning to their chores. “(y/n), is it?”

You nodded and they leaned back on the counter, too close to comfort.

“So, tell me. What’s your secret?” They whispered the last part, covering their mouth with the back of their hand as Jean rolled his eyes.

Leaning back from the fixated stare, you gave them an awkward smile, knowing exactly where the conversation would lead once more. The jukebox now played Bennie and The Jets as you tried to think of something to run away from the interrogatory.

“Are you being paid to work or to harass clients?” A familiar voice came from behind you, making you thank whatever god was above.

Hange and Jean rose their eyes and exchanged the same looks from the beginning of the night, making your whole body flush with the sudden heat. You tried to focus on anything else, too scared to turn away and find those grey eyes that you wanted so much to get lost inside; the same skin you once touched and felt under fingertips; the same hair that would tickle those thin eyebrows and complement the intense stare he always had stamped on his face, the—

“It’s 4AM, why are you still here?” He asked, now you felt the presence of his body behind yours and you were trapped. There was nowhere else to run.

Slowly turning on the stool, you licked your lips and rose your eyes, now gazing back at him, trying hard not to focus too much, knowing there was a possibility of a blush sneaking if you ever so slightly let your guard down.

Levi’s figure always surprised you. He had this big and strong aura going for him, even though he was about the same height as you; still, he was nothing short of muscles. The white shirt he was wearing hugged every inch of his skin so nicely it made your eyes wander around, trying to map out each of his muscles. His hair looked kind of wet, as if he had just gotten out of the shower and the slight scent of his cologne lingered around, and you took in every second of it to enjoy.

“Don’t you get tired of getting drunk?” He asked, raising a brow.

You felt a wave of heat running through your veins, but now with anger. Sure, you were buzzed, but not enough to be considered drunk anymore. You drank enough water for the past hours to be almost completely sober.

“I’m not even drunk right now” you snapped, turning back to the counter as the man scoffed behind you.

Jean threw a rag to the sink right in front of you and leaned between his arms, letting out a big yawn. “Ah! Finally done”

“Same here” Hange noted, taking off their apron and folding it, going to the backroom, Jean following right after.

It became deadly silent after the heavy door closed behind the bartenders. You could only hear yours and Levi’s breaths as he walked to the bar, crossing the counter and you did your best to avoid looking too much.

“You are dressed up” the man made a remark and you looked down at your clothes, adjusting your skirt as you sat.

“It was my friend’s birthday” you replied, tilting your head up just so you could be on eye level.

“What made you want to celebrate it in this shithole?” He furrowed his brows, leaning back onto the liquor shelves.

Levi never hid the fact that he didn’t seem to like the place. It made sense before, since you thought he was only an employee, but now that you learned that he owned the bar, things didn’t quite fit in.

“It’s a nice shithole” you said as you crossed your arms over the counter.

He kept his arms crossed for a while; eyes focused on your figure as if he were challenging you. Without any new expression, the man leaned down to the lower cabinets and grabbed an electric kettle, filling it with the sink water as you watched.

“You never told me you owned the place” you licked your lips as he started to heat the water.

Levi’s hands worked in the cabinet once more, grabbing a tea box and putting it right in front of you, and then searched for two porcelain cups that were just a little chipped around the rim, placing them next to each other and a teabag inside.

“You never asked.”

You watched as he grabbed two silver spoons and filled the cups with the now heated water.

“It’s usually something you don’t miss, you know?” Rolling your sweater sleeves up your elbows, you crossed your arms in front of your chest as the man put the small spoon inside a cup, pushing it towards you. “Normally, people would go like ‘hey, I own the place, drinks on the house.”

“You almost always drink for free” he furrowed his brows as he dabbed the teabag inside the cup a few times.

“That’s not the point.”

Hange’s face appeared from the creek of the backdoor, looking at you both who were now alarmed by the sound of the heavy metal.

“Leviiiii, just letting you know we are leaving” they said and the man just flicked his wrist as a goodbye, shooing them.

The man didn’t turn around, and you thanked profusely, because the look Hange were giving you was too creepy for him to see. They held both thumbs up and smiled before leaving.

Now that you were sure that you two were the only ones present in the whole establishment, you could feel your stomach turn inwards, anxiety taking over and nerves flowing through your bloodline. The man in front of you brought the teacup to his lips, sipping slowly and you noticed the way he held it by the rim. Funny.

“Why are we drinking tea?” You asked, looking at the clock only to see it was 4:43AM, and Levi didn’t look like he had any sleep.

He just stared at you through his hand, lowering the cup just a little for him to speak: “Because I felt like drinking tea.”

The commanding tone of his made chills run down your spine. You knew for sure you were blushing now, so you decided to grab the teacup to hide your face behind it, sipping slowly on the minty taste.

“You look nice” he said, taking you by surprise.

Your fingers suddenly felt numb. Fuck. Before you knew it, it was too late, and the cup was now a splatter of pieces on the counter. The liquid now stained your sweater in a wet spot, the hot tea burning the places where it hit your naked skin.

“Fuck” you let out a hiss. “Fuck, fuck, fuck”

Levi put down his own cup and a little panic showed on his face.

“Take the sweater off” he ordered, grabbing a handkerchief from his pocket and putting it under the sink, drenching it in cold water.

“W-What?” You looked up, skin still aching from the burn and now his choice of words added extra heat to your whole body.

“Jesus, you just fucking burned yourself” he said, jumping to the other side of the counter and showing you the handkerchief.

Not the time to think, you sighed as you took your sweater off, placing it on your side, leaving your dark bra exposed.

You tried covering yourself, knowing the situation was awkward enough already for you to care too much about it. You are an adult, he’s an adult, stop acting like a horny teenager, you thought to yourself as he offered you one of his hands.

Staring for a little longer, he let out a ‘tch’ and rolled his eyes. “Give me your hand.”

You followed his command and slid your fingers into his palm, feeling the warmth envelop you, even if the source was from a small part of your body. He held your hand and brought you closer, analyzing the positions before he could start working on your burns.

“Sit on the counter” he ordered again and once more, you followed.

Adjusting yourself on the cold surface, you gave your arm to him and felt his fingers slide along your skin, warm fingertips touching where the droplets of boiling water hit before, and a little flinch escaped from you whenever he found a new spot. He looked up, as if to see if everything was alright and you gave him a small smile, shaking your head.

“It’s not that bad” you affirmed and he furrowed his brows, lowering his gaze once more.

“That’s because of the alcohol” the man started dabbing the cold fabric carefully, watching every little movement of yours as he did. “Tomorrow, this thing is gonna hurt like a bitch.”

You chuckled at his remark as he held your hand closer to his chest, putting it above your knees in a position where it wouldn’t hurt to stay still. You took a moment to admire his marked features, watching every little move of his and wondering about those eyes, glad that they were focused on you.

Although Levi held this harsh front, he really seemed to care behind those big walls, and that was enough for you to fall.

“Sorry about your cup” you apologized, almost in a mutter, feeling shame crawl under your skin once more.

“It’s a stupid cup” he said, still working on your skin. “I can just get another one.”

“Still, let me pay for it” pursing your lips, you felt his grip on your wrist tighten just a little.

“That’s dumb.”

You sighed, “I keep giving you trouble, I want to make it up for you.”

He stopped the dabbing, looking up to find your piercing gaze already on his. Eyes shining under the dim lighting and silent surrounding you two.

“You’re not paying for the fucking cup” he rose his brow, staring deep into your soul, and now you were scared that he would learn all your secrets.

“I’m serious, Levi” you persisted. “I didn’t even thank you for taking me home the other day.”

“It’s fine” he stuck to his argument, but you also did the same to yours.

“No, it’s not. Must’ve been really annoying.”

“You were annoying, indeed” he let out and you playfully rolled your eyes.

“Sure… but thank you, for… you know—taking me back to my apartment.”

You remember waking up the next morning to a box of Advil sitting on your bedside table, next to a big bottle of water and how warm your chest felt to feel like someone was caringly enough to do that for you. Even for someone who you’d recently just met.

“Stop with this sappy shit and let me work” he rolled his eyes and went back to dabbing the wet cloth on your skin, “you’re gonna get nasty scars if I don’t take care of them.”

Smiling to yourself, you straightened your arm again allowing him the full access to your skin and the man went back to his previous actions. The dawn was beginning to clear and sneak between the blinds, filling the whole place with clarity, and none of you felt tired, engulfing in each other’s company.

TAGLIST 

@zeickv @thirstyforsometea​

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Tom Holland x zendaya cousin reader where she’s an actress and model /activist she meets Tom on set and reader and z talk about people forcing them to be in competition with each other and people saying z is better because she’s lighter ( colorism) and reader thinks Tom likes white blondes but nope (spoiler ) z Tom and reader start hanging out besides being on set Tom and reader get close they go out to a party and reader and Tom hookup smut (like rough👀)

OOP-

Warnings: SMUT- It wasn’t soft ik that, zaddy kink just for a bit, speaking Spanish on accident because I know how to speak it, and uh crippled walking? Overstimulation, squirt and shit (DONT TAKE THE SHIT LITTERALLY) and language of course ✨

Summary: REEEEEEEEEE-

A/n: god my life is so tragic, and yes I love pink guy 🤺GET BACK🤺 GET BACK I SAY 🤺 this isn’t in bold or anything because I was working on this for toooo long honestly it was requested a while ago, sorry about that!

T.H| I Seen all your exes, I know what you like

You walked after zendaya into the set, your hair into a ponytail, edges laid, you recently got yourself a nose peircing (I just wanted to) you dressed in a large oversized white sweater and some black sweat pants, normal black air forces, you were tired because school was kicking your ass, like forereal.

“Hey Tom!” Zendaya smiled, walking faster to him and hugging him tightly. “Hey z” he smiles back, squeezing her a bit. “This is my uh, cousin, y/n” Zendaya smiled at you and you yawned again, covering your mouth but waving at him, which he gave a tight lipped smile and let out a “hey, how are you” “tired. Bored. Emotionally numb. Mixed feelings, over caked up-“ “haha, I think he gets it” Zendaya cut you off with a wide smile. “Are you playing in the movie?” Tom asked, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t think so” you shrugged. “She’s the real life MJ, don’t mind her, but we are gonna like go now, bye-Tom!” She pulled your arm until you found her trailer.

“What’s up with you!” Zendaya asked as she put her hands on her hips, watching you sit down on her bed. “I HATE SCHOOOOOOL” you complained, throwing your head on her bed as you tried not to cry. “You aren’t crying right now, y/n please don’t” Zendaya rolled her eyes.

“They expect me to know this shit! I barely even know what 2+2 is!” You lifted your head as tears left your eyes, crying. “Y/n, what’s 2+2?” She asked. “Fourrrr” you whined, still crying. “It’s social distance, like cheat or something!” Zendaya said as she mentally started to cackle watching your cry, you sucked your tears up in an instant, acting like you were perfectly fine and took out your laptop...only to cry again.

“I HATE SCHOOOOOOOOLLLL, WHY OUT OF EVERYONE I HAVE TO DO ITTTTTT!” you slapped the computer, zendaya couldn’t take it, she laughed at you. “AND YOUR LAUGHINGGG, IM IN AN EMOTIONAL CRISIS RIGHT KNOW” she started cackling, gasping for air as tears ran down your face. “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” “ZENDAYAAAAAA-“ your voice cracked, coughing on your spit as she just kept laughing, she was on the floor now, holding her stomach.

As you let out a broken scream the door opened, revealing Tom worried, but his face turns confused. “Do I want to know?” He gently asked. “Get outttttt” you whined pointing at the door. Tom smiled and nodded his head, closing the door. You wiped your tears away, sniffling like a child as zendaya just watched, a grin plastered in her face. “Shut up zendaya- I’m hurt” you said petty, crossing your arms as she let out a ‘pffft’ and continued to laugh.

It was about 2 days later, you felt better with jacobs help, he can really do math.

You sat in the chair sighing as you looked at your phone. “Fucking Enews, I’m gonna kill them one day” zendaya groaned, plopping herself in the chair next to you. “What happened?” You asked, the only ones in the room, it was like a hangout spot or something, hard to explain use your imagination

“They like to put us against each other and it’s toxic” zendaya hands you the phone, showing you on tone left and her on the right and “zendaya vs y/n” you only cringe at it “they want people to vote?” You asked and she nodded, you voted for yourself and handed her back the phone. “Forget you” she rolled her eyes, “nope if anything I’m winning” you shrug laughing at her while she tries to snatch your phone.

“It’s only fair!” She said, grabbing your phone and somehow knowing your code, standing up and running with your phone “JUST DONT TYPE IN X!” You yell, chasing her. “Oh I’m typing in x” she whispered, now joining where everyone else was, it was to fast to tell who but you seen Tom, you ran past him and his screen showed a model, blond but you couldn’t see anything else. Your mind was racing as you went full on devil an crybaby running, once you chased her she threw herself on the couch, sighing and laying your phone on her stomach.

“Fuck you” you whispered and she laughed, you grabbed your phone and saw “you voted for me!” You gasped. “What! No I didn’t!” She said, immediately sitting up and raising her eyebrows at you, you showed her your phone, laughing in her face as you tried to do the dougie. “Oh so you wanna get competitive?” She asked, crossing her arms. “I mean I’m in the lead” you shrugged. “Whoever loses has to buy lunch!” Zendaya said, standing up and running past you back to where everyone else was, you followed her while she said “VOTE ZENDAYA!” you shouted your own name and told people to vote you and they didn’t understand until they all got a notification.

Everyone voted and you sat next to Tom, begging him to tell you who he chose. “No y/n I won’t tell you” he smiled. “Pleaseeee!” You clasped your hands together giving him the best puppy eyes you could, he glared at you and showed you his phone. “I give up” on the screen it showed “you haven’t even voted yet!” You said, about to tap your name until he pulled his phone back. “Nope”

The rally went on for hours, it went from zendaya to you, to you to zendaya, zendaya was in the lead by point two percent. “THOMAS VOTE!” Laura shouted. “Alright alright!” He said, he heasitantly tapped a name, he chose it on purpose of course and it was nice for him to be the last person to vote.

Everyone’s phoned dinged by Enews. “ILL TELL EVERYONE!” Samuel shouted, everyone sat in seats watched him, phones turned off. This was absolutely giant for you and zendaya, this was a playful competition so don’t worry about putting each other down.

“The person who won is.....” he added suspense on everyone, aching for the answer already. He sighed and cleared his throat, then swallowed.

....

.....

Almost there!

.......it’s

Oop-

“The winner is y/n!” Everyone who voted for you cheered while everyone who voted for zendaya booed. You and zendaya both laughed together, giving each other a hug. “You owe me pizza” she only shrugged and agreed. “Wait...who did Tom vote?” Jacob asked, everyone now eyeing him, his eyes went wide. “You’ll never know” he only said. “Tell us! The game is over!” “Tell us!” Was chanted as his face started to turn a bit red. “ALRIGHT! I VOTED-“

who did he vote? Idk

Oof

This is a long ass story

Not anywhere near finished yet so stick with me here

I LOVE YOU KRITI

“Y/N” everyone cheered and congratulated you, zendaya asking if you wanted to go get the pizza now, you agreed and asked anyone else if they wanted to go, Jacob and Tom said yeah and you all went, you ordered a noarmal pizza and bought zendaya one to, you really didn’t want to take her money, Tom scrolled through the comments of the Enews post and saw how many people actually didn’t like you which is absolute bullshit, comments about your skin and how you act, his blood was slightly boiling, it isn’t right because they don’t even know you, who gives them the right to talk shit about you?

As the days passed you and Thomas hung out a lot, went to dinner a couple times whiteout anyone else, then had lunch, went shopping, you guys just did a lot of shit together which was cute, you guys got matching socks, shirts, jeans, hair clips and hats, calling your selves idiots and thing number one and number two, you, Tom, daya, haz, and Harry went mountain climbing and that was the worst thing you’ve ever done in your life, you held toms hand so tight, wore a parachute just in case you see a bear and need to jump off, you were just all over the place.

“Do you wanna go to a party with me?” Tom asked in his dressing room, watching you eat your Cheerios with extra sugar as you raise a single eyebrow at him “depends “ you shrugged, setting down the bowl as you laid on his bed. “I think it’s like a house party, one of my friends asked to come, I don’t know” he shrugged and sat down at the end of the bed looking at you. “Then alright yeah, I have nothing else to do tonight” he smiles and lays down infront of you and you put your hand on his waist listening to his small breathes.

It was the day of the party and you weren’t so big on it. You dressed in some baggy jeans and a long sleeeve with a slicked back ponytail and some vans, your hair in a slicked in a ponytail and some long eyelashes with lip gloss, you said you’d meet him there because it took you hours If someone was waiting on you, strange but also very true.

You sighed and rolled your eyes with your hands on the steering wheels, trying to find a parking space but it was packed. “Why does this man have so many freinds? ISNT this only a house party?” You muttered, finally finding a parking spot, pretty close. Tom had called you and told you he was waiting at the door when you had just parked, he knew what your car looked like so when he found it he smiled and it made him slightly over excited.

“Hey babe” he smiled and you returned with “hey love” you both exchanged with tight hugs and he took your hand and pulled you in, the first thing that met your nose was sweat and achol. You silently cringed as Tom tried to contain his laughs, pulling you to the kitchen and to the counter, you could barely jump so he helped you up. “Hungry?” He asked. “Any waffles?!” You said and he chuckled, walking over to the fridge and opening the freezer as his smile got brighter, he took the package and threw it at you, which you catches and bit your lip.

The music boomed through the walls, he got you both a beer and ended up burning the waffles “Y/N!” “IM SORRY!” He quickly shut it, going over to the sink and opening the window, the breeze string so he sighed in relief and walked over to you giving you a strong high-five making you hiss “sorry!” He adorably said with made you smile at him, you both made your way upstairs, grabbing a couple beer bottles on the way.

“So” he said, looking at his bottle. “So?” You asked looking at him confused. “How’ve ya been?” He asked, achol in both of your systems as you shrugged. “Happy with you here” “that’s cute y/n” he laughed, setting down the bottle and looking at you. “So are you like not bored?” “We can like watch something?” “Like what?” “The backyardagains?” He looked at you confused, “a child’s show?” “Hey it’s more interesting then alone or whatever you like to watch” “why don’t we like watch porn hub or something?” “That’s wierder then what I said, but I mean..-“ “backyardagains it is” he put his lips in a tight manner, he tried to find the remote on the night stand but it was on your side, luckily there was on demand so you didn’t have to pay for anything.

you both watched the show, him smiling at laughing at you as you mocked the words. “You must had watched this a million times to know what their saying” he chuckled. “Hey don’t judge me, beer?” You asked grabbing one, when he said yeah you added another and handed it to him. You guys got closer, his hand on your waist while you head was on your chest, which shifted to his hand on your ass when you were all the way on top of him, platonically, but when you both looked at each other he pulled in and kissed you roughly, you batted your eyes at him and sat up, setting your beer aside as he did the same, he took his hand and put it on your neck, tugging you down to kiss him.

You slowly rocking your hips on his member feeling it grow as he let out distant groans, his hand stayed comfterbly on your neck, not squeezing to tight but just right. “Do you wanna?” He asked against your lips and you only nodded. “Say it” he said, rubbing his nose against yours. “I want to” “you want to what baby girl?” “I want to have sex with you” “you can be naughtier than that” he bit your bottom lip, pulling it back with him and letting it go, making eye contact with you.

“I want you to fuck me tommy” you kept your hips moving as he let out a hoarse chuckle “that’s my good girl” he squeezed your throat and you whimpered, he released your neck and made his way down your stomach to the button of your pants, his other hand made its way to your cheek, taking it slow and taking everything in as his small lips were against your plump ones, he undid your pants and they were looser then before, so he climbed down and found-

“Lace?” He whispered against your lips, “thong? Naughty girl” your stomach reeked with butterflies as a pool was comfterbly inbeteeen your legs, he pulled the material back and let it go your back arching as you let out a “shit”. You could feel his hard on against you as you were eager to take off your clothes and just give it all to him. He finally came to where you wanted him, he swirled your pearl before digging in your wetness and pumping it “Tommy” you whimpered, bucking your hips into his hand. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you” he licked your bottom lip before having it enter your mouth, you basically fucked his hand as he lowered down, finding you sweet spot instantly which only instensed the pleasure. You put your head in his shoulder as you pulled down the rest of your pants, lifting each leg to get them off.

He took his hand out of you which made you whine but he shushed you and made you sit up, looking at the white thong and how it squeezed your skin, he lifted the long sleeve, up and over you head to find you not wearing a bra. “Fucking hell y/n, your so perfect” he smiled, taking a boob in his hand while you lifted your hips to work on his pants,he bucked his hips up slightly so you could pull them down, and it stood, you bit your lip and you looked down and seen the outline of his thick member, seeing a small spot of precum leaking through his underwear. “You gonna stare?” He chuckled, you let out a sorry and pulled down the boxers revealing his member, it sprung up to his lower stomach and you bit your lip, he was above average by like two inches but he was also so...large.

“It’s pretty Tommy” you complement which leaves him smiling. “I’ll be prettier once it’s in you” he knew you were just pooling by his words, you both didn’t want to waste anytime so he pulled the thong to the side, sliding his finger through your heat leaving your hips stuttering slightly, “you ready?” You nodded at him and let out a yeah, he took his member and pumped himself a few times before entering you with a groan.

“Fuck y/n your so tight” you softly came down on him, you being on top and holding onto the head board for support as you lifted your hips and ripped them again “mmmm” you moaned, your head tilting back as he watched comfterbly, seeing you in control. You went faster the bed making noise as whimpers left your lips, his hand came up to your waist and held tight, biting his lip as he watched your boobs bounce infront of his face (ew sex 🤢 don’t know her)

He groaned and let out a fuck, moaning at his name as he sat up, looking up at your face and how your beautiful moans leave your lips. “You like that y/n, you like riding me?” He asked, slightly breathing heavy, he messed with the hem on your thong before taking both of his hands to rip it off. “Mhm, you owe me a thong” he sucked hickeys on the pad of your skin, or where ever he could. You rolled your hips, tired of bouncing as your breath was heavy, making eye contact with his darken, lust filled eyes, he didn’t heasitate to kiss your lips, shoving his tongue in your mouth and fighting for dominance, which of course he won, his hands came down to open your legs, fucking himself into you as you whined. “Fuck baby” he groaned when your hands were on his shoulders, clawing them as he hisses in pain but also in pleasure, his hands are tight on your legs which felt so good to you, hearing the clapping noises as you bucked your hips.

“Tommy you feel so good” you moaned, “yeah? My cock wrapped around your tight little pussy, so warm and wet for who?” “For you” your head tilted back, opening your legs more as you begged for more, which he gave to you, he flipped you both over making him on top, he went as fast as he could, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you choked on your moans “t-Tommy!” “You like that baby?” He asked. “Like it when I fuck into your tight pussy, where you can barely speak, when I bust you fucking open?” “Please please please”

“Please what? Be a good girl and take daddies dick yeah?” When you bucked your hips he laid a slap on your ass, your back arching as you cried and open your legs as open as possible, your chest pressed up against his, he used the head board to pound harder into you, groaning as each thrust, yours moans where high pitched “I’m gonna-“ you swallowed. “Cum? Hold it for me, I’ll tell you when you get it to cum” “your in so deep I don’t know-“ “just try’n hold it” he felt his climax building up. “Please tom can I cum?” You let out a rough high pitched moan, really putting your throat in it, he smiled and moaned at your face, then looked down and seen the way he pounded into you so freely, his cock glistening with your wetness, he took his hand and rubbing your clit messy. “To much Tommy!” You basically screamed.

“Take it for me” your back came off the mattress as your face scrunched, you cum blasting right out of you. “joder joder joder joder, papi me haces correr tan fuerte, dios me haces sentir tan bien! joder papi si, papi si papi si papi si!” You cried, which instantly made him cum right after you. “Fuckkkk” he rode it out, his hand still on your clit, your chest stuttered as your hand went to his wrist latching onto it as he keep swirling around your clit, eager to make you cum again. You were so dazed you couldn’t think straight the pleasure over powering you as you were sure you just peed yourself, “Thomas!” You shrieked

He pulled out. “I could do that all day” he muttered, rolling over to the other side as you both panted, he looked over at you and noticed how you weren’t speaking, “what’s up?” You looked over at him and replied with “I don’t think I’ll be able to walk” he laughed and the door soon opened. “Party is fücking over” his friend said, looking at both of you while your bodies were fully naked, he didn’t care he just wanted you both out, the theme song of the backyardagains playing as he shut the door which left you both laughing, he secretly kept the ripped thong and put it in his pocket of his jeans.

“You spoke Spanish to me, y/n” he laughed as you shook your head no. “Stop that’s so embarasinggg!” You groan and cover your ears. “You called me daddy, I don’t know the rest” “I probably did speak Spanish to you, but I didn’t call you daddy, I couldn’t have” “oh no you called me daddy alright, it was fucking gorgeous, I couldn’t help but cum” “shut up!” You both were walking down the street... well you crippled as he held your hand drinking a slurpii that you got form 711. “How will zendaya feel?” He asked you and you shrugged. “I will tell her soon” “and how you spoke fluent Spanish to me? I bet no one has ever fucked you that good huh?” “THOMAS!”

[uwu-shinsou]

Stakeout

Summary: After an unexpected breakup, pro hero Ground Zero is the last person you expect to be comforting you. And also conducting a stakeout in your living room.

Warning(s): Language, themes of breakups

Pairing: Pro Hero!Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Genre: Hurt/comfort, I guess slight angst?, light fluff, Bakugo tries to be comforting

Word Count: 2.3K

A/N: Okay first off idk about the whole legality of a hero secretly having a stakeout in your home but let’s just IGNORE that pls and thnx LOL. I was scrolling through AUs and saw one that was like “im an assassin conducting a stakeout in your house and you weren’t supposed to be home until next week” and I said okay but what if it was pro hero Bakugo and BAM HERE WE ARE!! So pls enjoy my first baku fic, I tried to make him just as fiery but also slightly more mature since he be a PRO in this 😌

You gotta be honest, the last thing you were expecting to come home to was a famous pro hero conducting a stakeout in your living room.

You hadn’t even planned to be home at all this long weekend. You and your boyfriend had planned a weekend trip together, driven all the way to the hotel, only for him to promptly break up with you and confess that he’d been seeing another girl for almost the entirety of your relationship. You’d dumped him, kicked his butt out of the car, and promptly driven two hours back home, trying your best not to cry over it.

You’d lugged your suitcase up five flights of stairs to your door, fumbling with your house key before sliding it into the lock. You tiredly stepped into the dark apartment, closing your door behind you with a sense of finality.

While locking the door, you began to mumble out the stream of consciousness that had been running through your mind since the moment you left the hotel.“If I ever see his face again I’m seriously gonna break his nose. How dare he even-” 

You walked a few steps forward into the living room, only to freeze up and let out a screech as the dark outline of a person moved from your couch. Your hand shot out behind you, and the metal baseball bat that you kept near the door flew through the air and into your hand. You took a prepared stance, ready to bash the intruder’s head in with your weapon.

“You have three seconds to tell me who you are before I start swinging!” You hiss, readying the bat.

“You aren’t supposed to be here,” The darkened figure said, taking a step towards.

“No! No, do not come any closer to me. I’ve had a very bad day and I will take my anger out on you!” You threaten, pointing that bat at the intruder to act as a barrier.

“Hey! Don’t do anything fucking rash! I’m just turning on the light, okay?” In a moment you were blinking into the soft light of the room, gaping at the man who you’d almost just clobbered with a bat.

Your arms slowly lowered, the tip of the bat resting on the floor as you blinked in disbelief. “...Ground Zero?” You asked dumbly.

“Yeah, that’s me,” He answered curtly. “Now what the hell are you doing here?”

You looked at light haired hero in disbelief before glancing around the room. “Uhhh, this is my apartment? We’re standing in my living room, and you were sitting on my couch. I think I’m the one who should be asking what you’re doing here.” You slung the bat over your shoulder and glared at him, trying to calm the butterflies in your stomach from the fact that one of Japan’s top pro heroes was standing in your living room. 

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” He grumbled, walking back to the couch and grabbing his phone. “WHAT THE HELL?” Ground Zero yelled as his phone flew out of his hand and into yours. His eyes closed and he huffed out an angry sigh. “Fucking telekisnesis. I forgot that was your quirk.”

Your mouth opened in surprise and you clutched his phone to your chest. “How do you know what my quirk is?”

Ground Zero opened his eyes and glared harshly at you. Questioning and antagonizing the most temperamental pro hero was probably not my smartest move you thought as he began stalking towards you.

“F/n L/n, early 20s, telekisnesis quirk, barista and occasional babysitter, lives alone, has been dating her boyfriend for five months, and, most importantly, isn’t supposed to be home for four days because she was on a trip with her shitty ass boyfriend!” He finished his statement with a growl, and his red eyes felt as if they were burning a hole in your face.

You averted your gaze, shuffling your feet as you mumbled, “Well you’re right that he is a shitty ass boyfriend.”

“Listen, I don’t have tme for your drama. According to our intel, you shouldn’t be here until Monday night,” He said accusingly.

“Well I didn’t want me to be back this early either!” You said, letting go of the bat and sending it back to it’s spot by the door. Your hands tightened into fists in frustration and you pushed past the intimidating hero, making your way into the kitchen.

“Hey- don’t you fucking walk away from me!” Ground Zero stomped behind you, staring in disbelief as you started rummaging through your pantry. “I asked you a question!”

You turned around to face him, holding a full package of cookies. “Guess what, Ground Zero? I don’t care!” You exclaimed, opening the package. “Honestly? I don’t even care why you’re in my apartment! Go ahead, make yourself at home! Sit on my couch, eat my food, watch my TV, it doesn’t even matter! The past five months of my life have been a fucking lie, so please just leave me alone to cry in my room and eat my feelings away.” You shoved a cookie into your mouth and tried to step past him. The hero side stepped into your path, and no matter which way you tried to go, he was in front of you. You were just about ready to take a swing at him when he started talking.

“Y/n,” He said. Hearing him use your name startled you enough to stop you in place. He huffed out a quick sigh before speaking. “We’ve been tracking down a rising villainous organization for half a year now. Eveytime that we get close to making the bust, they pick up and move operations. This time, we’re one step ahead of them.” He gently took your arm and guided you back into the living room and over to the window. “We have to take extra precautions when dealing with them, since any sign that the police are on to them causes them to run.” He points out the window to the building next door. It was a squat, rectangular warehouse of four stories. With you apartment being on the fifth floor, it had the perfect view in through a poorly covered sky light. 

The pro hero switched out the lights in the room, allowing you to see clearly out and into the other building. You crouched down to get an even better look, and Ground Zero lowered himself down next to you. He handed you a pair of binoculars and pointed to the left side of the skylight, where you could see a group of people working at a long table. Looking through the binoculars brought the figures into clearer view.

“Ground Zero, are they-”

“Bakugo,” He said, interrupting you. “Just- Bakugo is fine, okay?”

You glanced at him in surprise before looking back into the adjacent building. “Alright then, Bakugo. Are they making-” You squinted and focused harder on the objects lying on the table. “Support items?”

“Yeah that’s right,” He responded. “A black market organization for support items to supply to villains. We’ve been through hell trying to track the weapons back to them, but we had a breakthrough a few weeks ago.”

You hummed in thought, shoving a cookie in your mouth before offering one to the pro hero. Bakugo’s eyebrows raised in surprise, but he accepted it nonetheless.

“So you needed my apartment to finish getting your dirt on them, and then you planned on doing your big bust?”

“More or less, yeah. And being here,” He gestured vaguely to your apartment. “Was critical because that skylight was in the perfect place to capture incriminating photos of them doing deals earlier tonight. We’re fucking finally ready to finish this.”

“And how many heroes are on this job, exactly?”

Bakugo held up a hand, counting on his fingers as he thought through it. You hid a smile behind your hand at the gesture. “I guess a dozen or so, plus the local police force. There’s a good number of those shitty criminals in there, but we’ve faced a lot worse.”

You sighed, eating another cookie. “Well, sorry that my breakup got in the way of your important hero plans. I could leave I guess, maybe stay with a friend for the weekend-”

“Shut the hell up, I’m not gonna kick you out of your own damn apartment,” He said, rising from his spot on the floor beside you and going back to his supplies laid out on the couch. “I’m not exactly a very patient person so the bust is happening within an hour anyways. There are heroes and police stationed all around in the other buildings and streets, so I won’t be in your hair for that much longer.”

“Oh,” Was all you said, slowly putting a cookie in your mouth. 

The hero stopped fiddling with his supplies and plopped onto the couch, his furrowed eyes meeting your gaze. You raised an eyebrow in question, holding out the cookie package in a silent offering.

“No that’s not- did you say ‘breakup’?”

You huffed out a humorless laugh. “Uh huh. Bastard was cheating on me for basically our entire relationship. I guess I just wasn’t good enough or something.” You bit the inside of your lip and looked down at your lap, furiously trying not to cry. I’ve already embarrassed myself enough, I definitely do not need him to see me crying right now.

“But don’t worry about me, I should just leave you to get ready to, er- arrest some criminals and- do your hero stuff.” You quickly stood up, clutching the cookie package to your chest, and tried to make your way past him while hiding you face. “I’ll just- go sit in my room so I don’t bother you.”

You’d almost made it to the hallway when you suddenly bumped into something that was definitely not your furniture.

You let out an “oof” as you collided with Bakugo’s chest, his hands landing on your shoulders to steady you. You glanced up at him, and his face showed he was just as surprised as you were. He then realized he was still touching you, and took his hands off your shoulders like it had burned him.

“Listen- it’s shitty that he did that to you, and there’s no way you deserved it,” Bakugo said, and the absolute sincerity of it made you burst into tears.

Bakugo started to panic then. “Oh shit, what’s wrong? Did I say it wrong or-” He cut himself off as you vehemently started shaking your head, trying to rub the tears away.

“No no no no,” You said, assuring him. You sniffled, desperately trying to stop your crying. “I guess that I just-” A fresh wave of tears hit you and started rolling down your face, making Bakugo hover his hands in front of him, unsure of what to do. 

“I know that I’m not very good at this, but if you want I can go and beat the shit out of him or something,” He said, making you laugh as you wiped your face.

“I was trying to say that it just- meant a lot to me, that you said that,” you said as you started to calm down. “I didn’t really believe it before, that I didn’t deserve that to happen to me, but when your favorite pro hero says it to you…” You shrugged, giving him a wobbly smile. “Maybe it is true.”

He gave you an assuring smile that you could almost call a smirk. “Well you better believe it, honey, because it’s the truth.” He paused, smugly crossing his arms. “So, your favorite hero, huh?”

“Ahaha,” you felt your face go warm, and you gave him a sheepish smile. “Sorta kinda yeah.” The admission seemed to surprise him, like he didn’t know how to respond.

The beeping of Bakugo’s phone in the living room drew the two of you out of the moment. He bumped his shoulder playfully into yours as he passed. “Glad to hear that I’m your favorite.”

You scrambled to the kitchen to put away your cookies and splash a bit of water on your face as he answered the phone. You could just make out his conversation over the running water.

“What’s up, nerd?... Yeah, I know. I got all the pictures we needed... Good. Everything’s still quiet in there… Got it, I’ll see you in a few.” 

He hung up his phone just as you edged into the living room, watching him glance out the window into the criminal’s headquarters. He let out a huff of a sigh as he started packing up his things. 

You wandered in a little bit further. “So it’s time, then?” You asked. He looked up at you as he finished his packing.

“Yeah, time to beat some villain asses,” He said, shouldering his bag. “You gonna be alright?”

You gave him a soft smile. “I will be. I already feel a lot lighter, like the weight of a whole ass grown man has been released from my body.” Bakugo let out a snort of laughter before falling quiet. “Really, I will be.” You reassured him.

“Of course. But I was serious, if you ever need me to go and knock him around-”

You snickered at him. “Very hero-like.”

“Hell yeah it is,” He responded as you walked him towards the door, opening it for him. “Also maybe don’t go around telling people this happened, ‘cause I’ll probably get my ass kicked for sharing classified information.”

“My lips are sealed, pinky promise,” You said, holding your pinky out towards him. He scoffed but linked his pinky with yours nonetheless. “Good luck, Bakugo.” You started pulling your hand back before he grabbed it and pressed something into it.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” He said with a wink before making his way downstairs and out into the night. You slowly closed the door, leaning back against it and taking a deep breath before opening your hand.

Inside was a scrap of paper with a phone number scrawled across it, and the words “your fav hero” written below.

You may have looked out your window a little more than usual during the rest of the night.

[svtshuastruck]

hello! this is very late but here's my monthly wrap up for the month of november!

(just a lil note: i read books to escape cause reality sucks and i rate them on the basis of my enjoyment ^^)

with a complete 27 books read, im lowkey speechless lmaoo-- i'll try not to dive too deep but no promises ;)

1. instructions for dancing by nicola yoon

rating: .⭐⭐⭐.75

this is my first nicola yoon book and it was quite a pleasant surprise honestly! it was easy to read and i had a pleasant experience overall.

2. arsenic and adobo by mia. p. manasala

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

this book was the month's pick for the subtle asian book club and holy moly was it fun. i read it in a day and i was so hungry the whole time (even though at points i had just finished a meal.) the food descriptions are elite and that mixed with the complicated family dynamics and the mystery? *chef's kiss* this was also that kind of book where you just know everything is gonna be alright towards the end and yk you can just sit back and take it all in. overall a super fun read!

3. and 4. these witches don't burn duology both by isabel sterling

rating: ⭐⭐⭐ ⭐and ⭐⭐⭐.75

sapphic witches. that's all you need to know. it was fun to read, pretty fast paced, complicated characters-- this was the break i had been looking for after a gazillion assignments.

5. and 6. komi can't communicate vol. 3 and 4

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

continuing with the buddy read. it was a fun time as usual. you cant go wrong with a cute mc and really nice side characters lol

7. crying in h.mart by michelle zauner

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

i was kinda skeptical about reading this book-- more scared than skeptical. i knew how the topics the book deals with were very likely to bring up my own past. i was afraid it was gonna trigger me mainly because from my past experiences with cancer, i hadn't taken it well. the whole time reading it, it was me basically going, "if this bothers me, i'm not gonna hesitate to put it down." i was surprised to find the book-- almost as a comfort piece. with me relating to michelle so much to the point where i just wanted to hug her and tell her that she's not alone, though our experiences with it are so widely different. (didnt make me cry but left a gaping hole in me. metaphorically)

8. heartstopper vol.5 by alice oseman

rating nothing less than a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

do i even have to say anything for this?

9. liar game vol.1 by shinobu kaitani

rating: ⭐⭐⭐

this was a read this for the host book club >< i didn't haate it but neither did i love it. instead, i found myself finding it to be very similar to squid game which later, i found out that this book had inspired squid game :mindblown:

10,11,12. monster vol.1,2,3 by naoki urasawa

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐, ⭐⭐⭐⭐

oof. now wasn't this fun. for one, i'll most definitely be continuing with the manga but tbh i didn't have high expectations going in. mainly because the plot sounded wayy out of my league. the only problem i have is how when i read it, i lose track of time and go on reading it and when i do put it down, i dont wanna go back to it cause i wont stop reading until idk when.

13,14. spy x volume vol. 3,4 by tatsuya endo

rating: did you expect me to rate it below 5 stars? because if you did...

need i say anything? anything? if you haven't read this, this is your sign (also your warning).

15. radio silence by alice oseman

rating: didnt give one

where do i start?? this books means so much to me. the way alice portrayed them, (not hesitating to hide their flaws but also not rubbing it onto our faces) was so utterly beautiful. im still in awe for how this book played it self out. wasn't lyrical in terms to writing nor was it a pretty picture. but yet, it holds so much within itself. i didnt give a rating cause 5 stars wouldn't provide justice. i could relate to every single character, each in a slightly different way and *sigh* idk what else to say.

MEME BREAK!!

16. bluets by maggie nelson

rating: ⭐⭐⭐

what a beautifully written book. the author talks about the colour blue and how it plays a part in her daily life and honestly? if it hadn't taken the time it took for me to finish it, it would have been a five star.

17. pashmina by nidhi chanani

rating: ⭐⭐⭐

twas cute.

18. carmilla by j. sheridan le fanu

rating: ⭐⭐⭐

lesbian vampire story that inspired dracula? i was hoping for a lot more than the book actually provided haha-- my expectations were a little too high compared to how it actually played out.

19. in my dreams i hold a knife by ashley winstead

rating: ⭐⭐⭐.5

a psychological thriller about a closely knit high school reunion after one of the member's unsolved murder. read this for the late night book club! amazing. wonderful. i loved loved loved how psychology played a role in the story. the reveal didn't necessarily blow my mind away but following the little clues and smiling at the realisation that it was a red herring was fun. also highly recommend watching the author interview done by the late night book club cause im obsessed with that video lmao.

20. the murder of roger ackroyd by agatha christe

rating: ⭐⭐⭐.5

i mean, i love poirot as a character and with a small town setting, you couldn't possibly go wrong. i swear though, as i was listening to this while writing notes for class at 2 in the morning, some of the reveals just gave me chills. because people kept saying the reveal would shock me completely, i kept thinking about what ultimately would blow my mind and ended up predicting the ending correctly :/

21. and 22. my lesbian experience with loneliness by kabi nagata and i married my best friend to shut my parents up by naoko kodama

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ and ⭐⭐⭐.5

both of them were enjoyable reads tho i definitely preferred the second one for tackling the topic of loneliness so well. also i wish the second was longer just to have spent more time with the couple.

23. a catcher in the rye by j.d salinger

rating: ⭐

why.

24. the magic fish by Trung Le Nguyen

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

i loveeeeeeeeeed this!! the complicated relationship between the mother and son was explored so well! also the fact that it is explored through fairytales??!

25. every morning the way home gets longer and longer by fredrick backman

rating: didn't give one

i think this was spectcularly done. the way the memories were presented with the little metaphors and the relationship between the family was done so well for such a short book. i really really enjoyed it.

26. the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

do i have to say anything? because even if you expect me to, i'm going to hold my silence until you realise.

27. one of us is lying by karen m. mcmanus

rating: ⭐⭐.75

meehh i don't see the hype. didn't like anyone but nate and the ending was lowkey disappointing ://

okieeeeeeeee we're done!! im not gonna say anything cause im tired asf. sorry if nothing makes sense lol

[stargazer-balladeer]

....i just got chongyun to friendship 10 and i just realized ill have to change my team comp again soon ;-:

i need more namecards. bc i dont like playing characters with friendship 10 bc it feels like im wasting the xp????

hmmm ill either have to drag someone back in or dps build a random character... until ayaka comes out bc i need her- but that wont be until 1.7 ish? speaking of that what happened to the rumors abt the chasm patch- anyways i just swapped in kaeya... so now its zhongli albedo xinyan kaeya... and kaeya is leeching off dionas artifacts and albedos second sword...

oooo now im sad- brain pls just let me main the characters i like- i think im gonna bring tartaglia back... tartaglia zhongli/xiangling xinyan and kaeya.. that should last until ayaka i think..... ahhhh i hate this.. its even worse than when i stopped maining tart in favor of zhongli. might finally build jean tho.... kinda sad bc i just finished building xinyan (╥﹏╥) but with tart ill have two maxed nd i already feel bad with one...

i could... yanfei xiangling diona kaeya.... but ill have to level and dps build yanfei... and i rlly want to level ayaka as soon as i get her... i usually dont bother with this until after i max out my dps....

tl;dr: im struggling picking favorites to main again ._.

—🍡

Oof- i just recently got xingqiu’s namecard :DD

I think something big is happening there that mihoyo doesnt want to reveal just yet- idk tho- probbly left it for now and focusing on inazuma-

😂 i feel your painn 😔😔

I’m using a lvl 40 diona with bad artifacts against lvl 80+ monsters all bc i had to switch out qiqi 😀😀 i also recently gotten her namecard-

I’m trying to stop myself from lvling her up bc i want to lvl up klee first before her- ;;w;; aaaaaa i hate waiting—

[dyketectivecomics]

Okay, with KnightsEnd and the second huntress mini under my belt, let's recap on 90s Gotham so far! (also absolutely FLOORED that i'm already up to '94 at this point ;-; the 90s are flyin by)

Jean-Paul

I know i mentioned it rlly briefly, but it really rubbed me the wrong way how Jean-Paul clearly having DID was being... handled not well in terms of the narrative. There was KIND of a last minute turnaround with the last issue for the KnightsEnd arc (that i guess was supposed to absolve Jean in Bruce/the narrative's eyes? Kind of?) it just... left me feeling very hollow ig

again, mostly I stuck to Knightfall and KnightsEnd, not a whole lot of Bat!Jean in btwn except for the ones that already crossed over with some of the other characters. I dont think I'll be revisiting this period of time for Jean and I've heard it gets better for him in his upcoming solo. i was rlly endeared to his character earlier on, so im holding out hope that this was.... just an odd phase for DC editorial (which seems to be mostly the case from what I've gathered)

Renee & Steph

just stepping in very briefly here to say that Renee is getting pretty regular page time right alongside Bullock. after knightfall its made especially clear and that she's def on Team Batman™, so thats a fun seed to see planted

steph had a very very short team-up again with tim, still spurred by her dad breaking out of prison briefly. dixon is def planting those timsteph seeds and im not super thrilled by how he's choosing to go about it. but i did know that this was going to happen in advance so

clearly i am boo boo the fool *clown emoji*

Helena

uhh, she cameo'd rlly briefly in knightfall! which was cool to see!

team-up with Black Canary was nice to see, but the plot was *screams internally* (yikes). general content warning for a blatantly racist portrayal of arabian people/culture. (considering this was post-desert storm tho, i cant even say that im surprised. just tired and disappointed)

the Huntress mini was a pretty quick read, and i did kind of vibe with the art. it was mostly lineless, had a lot of style, and the shading/shadows for a lot of the scenes were really dynamic and added quite a bit to the overall tone. a nitpick that i have for it tho, is that its pretty clear that dixon didnt do his homework bc the man from helena's past who assaulted her was killed by the same man who helped train her initially. it was major point in the first solo like fjdakl;fld

otherwise, it also... feels pretty obvious to me that dixon isnt comfortable with writing for the character. her emotional state feels a little all over the place/turns on a dime, and i'll give him a LITTLE benefit of the doubt that maybe it could be the limited time that he had for the run... but something about this just... didn't quite feel like Helena to me. idk, isn't gonna be one that i see myself ever revisiting

Tim

Starting off Tim's Robin run right in the middle of the fallout of Knightfall was... an interesting choice. but one that i wont begrudge them too much.

finishing up to issue 9, tho, it feels like a pretty solid start for an on-going. Tim's voice is certainly starting to come clearer & what I def think is helping with that is having one writer mostly focused on him now.

whether or not he'll grow on me tho, remains to be seen, but I can still see why others latch onto him. he's very much still finding his footing with Bruce & with the Robin role. and ultimately, he's wish-fulfillment for the 90s comic nerd teen at this point in his character. he's trying to have it all, being the hero and getting the girl, and so far he's def falling behind in one of those regards (it seems pretty definitive that he and Ariana broke up oof), and scraping by in the other (but after the month/year he's had, i can hardly blame him on that front)

it'll be interesting to see where Tim & Jean's relationship goes now that Jean will be going back to Azrael, and while im sure there will be plenty more bumps in my reading to come, it's nice to have a slightly clearer path now that so many solos will be comprising the majority of my reading

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Three Analysis

chapter one analysis | chapter two analysis

back again for another chapter analysis. i think ive been looking forward to this chapter the most, it’s where some big decisions were made!!! this analysis is a long one, i hope that’s all right! i kinda got carried away. so, let’s dive right in, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

chapter three was supposed to be the last chapter of the fic

idk if any of you were there when i first started writing this fic, but it was only going to be three chapters with a possible epilogue. however, everything changed when i finished the end of chapter two. (lil atla reference there for ya) (sorry i know that was bad, moving on). like i said in my last analysis, i had an idea of what i wanted to happen (the separation of korrasami) so that they could come back together. it was just a matter of what separates them. so, i’m not sure where i got the panic attack idea but once i did, the rest of the story changed. i realized i couldn’t quite possibly finish the story in one chapter so i split the ideas i had and decided on it being four chapters

now, this being said, maaaaajor changes were made in my story outline. most notably: korrasami was going to be a couple in this chapter

this was originally going to be a full fledged “they meet, they get to know each other, they fall in love, happily every after” but the thing was, i planned on treating their romance as korra’s recovery; that being with asami is what made korra better, that all she needed was a partner, someone to love, and that is not what i wanted to portray with this story. i’ve never been a fan of stories that give a character a love interest and all of sudden their problems are fixed and they’re completely happy, and here i was about to do just that. i knew i’d never respect myself if i continued down this narrative, and when chapter two ended with korra’s panic attack, i realized her growth needed better love and attention. so, i changed what happened and gave her some therapy

this change in the storyline also let me explore more of kuvopal !!! (is that their ship name?)

so, back to LOVE WITCH for a second (because that glorious fic really did steal my heart) not only did it make me love kuvira’s character more, it also got me into the kuvopal relationship! and yet again, i wanted my own go at it. with the original timeline, there was just no space for me to include the lil bread crumbs of their relationship. however, however, however; by splitting the ending between two chapters (and adding some stuff in between) i was able to lay some foundation for them, which im very happy about :)

into the chapter we go:

let’s talk about the meeting! the whole reason this fic came to be! i’ll start by saying i always knew the project was going to get pulled out from under asami. 1) because thats some angsty/hurt shit right there and im a sucker for writing angst 2) i didn’t feel like creating a whole ass presentation because knowing my ass i would’ve made a powerpoint about it so i had every detail down to the font asami used and 3) getting the presentation taken away from asami was a pivotal point in her character arc.

i actually started the chapter in two different ways. at first, i’d written her whole entire morning with there always being one thing that was off. like, instead of a perfect omelette, it was going to split and asami would’ve had a scramble, still good, but not her favorite. instead of going through all green lights on her way to work, asami was gonna meet every. single. red. light. i would’ve gone through with this if it hadn’t felt strange; i wanted to give the impression that something bad was going to happen but i felt like having something go wrong with every thing in her morning was gonna be a dead give away that some even bigger big bad was about to happen, if that makes sense. so instead, i went with the picture perfect scenario, almost too perfect, if you ask me. and indeed, it was too perfect, because hiroshi was too much of a coward to tell his daughter any sooner that his board agreed to get a new presenter

im just gonna cite a bunch of my favorite lines/bits from this chapter because i really enjoyed writing it xD

Iroh has already begun but Asami hears no words, only a blaring ring in her ears. Her face feels hot and she wonders how red she is. She stares at the black binder, notes the natural grooves and curves of the material, the plastic covering over top of it, the metal spine peaking out at the bottom. She’s only brought out of it’s dark trance when she feels a hand be placed on her arm; Kuvira. 

when you’re upset, do you ever just, hyper focus on one thing and its like you’re analyzing it under a microscope for the first time? yes? no? well, i do that, and personally, i do because if i focus on my anger/hurt emotions any more, im going to explode and i dont want to explode. so, this instance about looking at the grooves in the binder and each of the components of it just hits with me, idk if does with you too, but like bruuh.

Asami has her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing, feeling as if she’ll throw up. She leans her head on her wheel, her mind wanders to what could’ve been, what should’ve been. She feels as if her car is closing in on her, that the metal is compacting. The seatbelt keeps her locked down to the driver’s seat and she can’t leave if she wants to. The Satomobile holds her hostage and she lets it. Even while it’s hurting her, even while it’s harshly molding itself onto her, she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?

this is one of my favorite things ive ever done with asami’s character, is using future industries/satomobiles as a sort of vehicle (heh) for her relationship with her dad. this paragraph just kind of hurts, but the good hurt? but also not good hurt? it’s just, (and not me over here boasting about my writing or anything) it’s so poetic that she has this breakdown and she’s so upset with her dad, i mean “what should’ve been” like, asami KNOWS that the shit that’s just happened is more than wrong, yet asami is still somehow wondering how she can please her dad and it’s in the literal legacy hiroshi built for himself. “she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?” i remember writing that and being like “shit, am i really gonna do this? yeah” ugh, i could go on forever about how i love this section, but i’ll stop here for now.

Asami begins yelling, screaming at the top of her lungs, letting all the thoughts, all the insecurities her father gave her finally be released into the world. Kuvira lets her, simply nodding and following along on the couch while Asami paces her living room. She spews out word after word, about the work, about the presentation, about Iroh, his position, her position, the company, the CEO, and she only stops when she feels the weight of her father rest on her shoulders.

back with more diction; i really love this paragraph because of how we circle back to hiroshi. note how i first say “the CEO” and then a few words later say “her father” because, in a way, this is asami’s confession that hiroshi is CEO first and father second, if i haven’t already explicitly said so. it’s so heart wrenching and sad but my favorite thing about it is this isn’t even about korra. like THIS right here is a prime example about how i realized this fic became more than just a love story. in the planning stages of this fic, asami was going to go through getting the presentation taken away from her, but what was she going to focus more on? the fact that korra wasn’t around anymore. and yes, asami still does think about korra after this, but so much more happens for her. asami gets to know kuvira more, asami gets to know her lab partners more, (and my personal hc is that they’ve all been lab partners for two years and only NOW asami is getting to be friends with them in their senior year, but hey, better late than never!) and to me, what’s even better, is that a bunch of realizations come to asami w/o korra being there. asami is growing and the idea of being able to grow without needing to have a partner in order to grow is so important to me, not only for the fact that growth should be endless and something you do all the time for yourself, but asami literally wants to share it with korra. not boast about changing and growing and becoming better, but just be better with korra. sdlfakds i swear, im fangirling over my own writing, oops

okay, moving on from The Meeting and onto the rest of the chapter

this dock scene was also another part i wrote beforehand and it had a completely different ending in that asami was going to ask korra out on a date. of course, korra would’ve said yes, and then yay yay happy ending. this didn’t happen and i’m glad it didn’t. in one version of this dock scene, asami was actually going to be upset with korra for disappearing, and even worse, mad that korra wasn’t there to comfort her after the presentation. oof, i know. so so glad i didn’t continue down that line, cause it is toxic, and my girls aren’t like that at all.

Once Korra’s eyes meet hers, Asami says, “That doesn’t mean you always have to be on your own.” She smiles at Korra, at the girl who’s turned her world upside down. Her hand remains on Korra’s cheek and she feels the girl sink into her palm. “I’ll be here for you, and it seems like Tenzin will be too, what with saying he was calling you more. And you have his family, and your own family, even though they’re away, they’re here to support you, we all are. You can still be strong and turn to other people for help. It takes great strength to ask for help and I know for a fact you’re strong enough, those bags of coffee beans were nothing for you.”

i like this line of dialogue here for a few reasons, mostly because asami is so soft and so right and the joke at the really helped lighten the mood but didn’t take away from what she’d just said before. i don’t have too much else about the Reunions section, though if you guys have any questions or anything you wanna point out, please do so! i think what i will say is that i tried to be as real and gentle with korra’s progression. i was so nitpicky about everything i wrote because i didn’t want to get any of it wrong or over dramatized or fake. recovery from anything is so important and it takes time and it’s not a straight line so i hope i did a good job with it the rest of the fic. 

moving on, i love the found family trope and this leads me into the next section, New Friends

when i think about this section, i like how soft it is, and i really enjoy the ending bits: korra recounting memories from the south, asami meeting tenzin. i think what i like about the end of this chapter is that, it kind of leaves the question: what’s next?

asami has grown, she’s changed, she sees the errors of her father’s ways but she’s not excusing them. korra has grown, she’s changing, she’s taken the first step in recovery. now it’s just a matter of, what happens with this growth now. and i really loved how i wrapped up the fic in the next and last chapter, so i hope you enjoy it too :))

honorable mentions:

there were a lot of changes in this chapter and one of them got changed twice! korra was gonna get a therapist but then i was like, we gotta get the krew together, and then i was like supppppoorttttt grouuuppppp, because lets be honest, all the krew has stuff they need to work through, and i know therapy isn’t for everyone, but mental health is so vital and important. asami is an advocate for therapy in the chapter but there are also other means to take care of yourself and your mental health and while i’ve never been to a support group, i understand finding comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

i guess what i’m trying to say is please take care of yourself and dont be afraid to lean on others. i know not everyone has the means to get a therapist/psychiatrist and i know that your friends aren’t made to only be your therapist. buuuut, don’t be afraid to reach out, there’s nothing wrong with needing help and support :)

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

honestly, i think the only thing i would’ve wanted to change was mako’s speech during the support group meeting. for me, it was a lil bit too poetically out of character. not to say i want to change the content, but rather the manner in which it’s presented. other than that though, i really loved writing this chapter :)

so this analysis was reeeaaaalllly long, i understand if not everyone made it to end. anyways, thanks so much for reading this analysis and the fic! once again, i’m very much open to questions and any comments, i love them very much! i’ll see you guys in the next analysis of the final chapter :)

[normal-thoughts-official]

more malec livewatch, everyone! i decided to start making the posts separately instead of keeping reblogging the same one over and over because i don’t want to drive everyone crazy with that gigantic fucking post. you can read the first ones here and i’ll keep updating the posts to lead to the next ones i guess. also im tagging it malec livewatch for those who want to avoid this nonsense

so let’s brave pre-wedding episode 12 i guess

oh boy.... we’re gonna do it... we’re gonna experience the Maximum Cringe

the special effects are so BAD odaijsdoaj when he summons the wine into Alec’s hand it’s just...... god

“we never finished our conversation” i mean you were the one who finished it magnus so wtf are you going on about

“it’s about family, tradition, honor” yeah we get it zuko boi duoahsiudhdiusa

really tho like he’s so clearly just.... reciting it. taking some shit out off the top of his head about how it’s the right thing and it’s sad tbh

he clearly kinda already has a script too? like “you and I understand marriage very differently” he says it right off the bat, he’s been thinking it over and hghgghgh

magnus goes near alec and alec swallows immediately and magnus ain’t even making a move to touch him yet. just diuahsdah it’s so obvious how hard he’s trying to hold back here

“you’re confusing me” is like the only thing he says the whole scene that sounds genuine

he’s paying so much attention to magnus’ dumb little speech about what love feels like too like. he’s trying to hold back but he’s very clearly pulled in, and i don’t even think it’s by magnus specifically (i mean obviously cuz have you seen him) but because he... kind of wants to hear it, kind of wants magnus to give him some golden argument that will make his whole resolution shatter. except he doesn’t because he doesn’t know what he’ll do then, but he’s still hoping for something and it’s sad

like how magnus clearly pauses like he’s waiting for alec’s reaction too, like. alec makes to leave and magnus doesn’t go after him, but he speaks, and alec stops. only when alec stops he gets closer. only when alec looks at him, clearly waiting to hear more, does he begin to talk again. i dig that even if most of this scene is kinda ugh to me

i hate how he uses his magic tho like what’s the point?? like yes i know that magic “can’t create feelings” but still dauhdsa it kinds feels like he’s cheating or trying to manipulate alec or something and i’m.. not into how the whole thing is done

oof hate how alec says “this is all just a game to you, isn’t it?” like bitch you know damn well it’s not like he’s putting himself at risk and showing you so much vulnerability and i hate how he goes for the whole “oh magnus doesn’t care about anything he’s just a seductive lothario” narrative in here lowkey. like i know he’s just trying to distance himself and he doesn’t fully believe it but... aaaaa i hate it

and he’s so HURT by alec’s words too like the rejection doesn’t hurt him as much as hearing alec say that he just flirts and it means nothing to him does. he’s trying so fucking hard to be open and honest and taking such a RISK (psychological, emotional, even physical) and alec is just throwing all of that bullshit persona he’s actively trying not to hide behind in his face, belittling all his efforts and feelings, and aaa

like again i don’t really blame alec but he truly is so hurt

still wonder what alec was about to say when he turned around to talk to him and magnus wasn’t there anymore tbh like. probably something else to try and distance himself so it’s probably good magnus left and isn’t there to hear it and it kind of forces alec to really think it over to himself instead of trying to argue but...... i do wonder what he was going to say diahsiduahdisah

magnus doesn’t even answer the whole “this means nothing to you” veiled accusation which.... also hurts like idk if he’s trying to avoid a fight or derailing like alec clearly is trying to, or if he just is too tired to have this argument, or if he just doesn’t want to open up this much, but either way he doesn’t acknowledge it except for his hurt look and oof

no one cares about jace and clary talking or whatever’s happening here next

i had never noticed the way magnus winks at clary when he says “oh, it’s happy hour somewhere, my dear” daishdaiuh it’s kinda cute tbh

hodge is so uncomfortable like the way he talks to magnus and gets too close to him... in a way that he doesn’t with anyone else either like he’s clearly just lowkey despising him/getting into his space and magnus notices too and it gives me the heebie jeebies

diuhaiudsahduaishdai magnus’ IMMEDIATE reaction of “why is ragnor fell there, he’s not more powerful than me” asohdaiudha we stan bickering bffs i truly love them so much

“he’s older than you” “certainly not wiser” daiohsahda

i think he might also be lowkey trying to protect ragnor and take the clave’s attention away from him now that i think about it but still i love their bickering

nah that’s cancelled he immediately rats him out on having been jocelyn’s profesor lmaoo

“that’s why he hasn’t been responding to my fire messages” daoihdsaiohads someone needs to lick their wounds

he’s just like “oh ragnor is hiding in his specific safehouse outside of london” like daoiusduaihdasuda love how he just knows that off the top of his head when ragnor clearly didn’t actually tell him about it since he just fucked off and hasn’t been responding

“didn’t know you were here” “that was the point” doaiuhdasiouhdaiuhdas

like i know he’s talking about the marriage but also.... just mood in general tbh

again with the eye flickering. hes looking at magnus, no hes not, yeah he is, haha SIKE, oh there it is again, nope it’s gone..... kinda funny cuz like i know that alec’s eyes flicker a lot in general but afterwards when they are together every time he looks at magnus it’s just so pointed and intense and focused on him so the contrast of watching the s1 scenes and realizing how little his glances at magnus always lasted is... interesting and heartbreaking. like obviously he doesn’t want to be looking at any man for too long, doesn’t want to take that risk, keeps hyper aware of his attraction at all times, but he still can’t help the glances and then when he can look he just does it so unapologetically and intensely and you can tell that it’s just. intimate to him (to both of them really) right then, and wow

i know we talk a lot about alec’s Big Hands but magnus’ hands are so nice too in like a totally different way... anytime he holds anything it just looks like he’s treating it like it’s precious, it’s so delicate and careful and his hands are smooth and pretty and wow i love him so fucking much

wow can’t believe nothing heartbreaking at all happens when they go to ragnor’s house and that ragnor just winks at magnus like “haha yes i am ‘dead’” and magnus is like “yes, this is a lie and a ruse and also a plan. i am perfectly aware that ragnor is not dead at all”

ragnor says “my dear friend, i will always be here for you” with so much honesty and love and ugh i love them like they’re always little bitches to each other but they still have the room to be perfectly loving and honest with each other and i stan

ragnor looks at magnus with so much fucking hurt when magnus says “i prayed she would love me the same” like you can tell it destroys him to even remember it or think about it and aaa

“he was always so much better looking than you” and the way magnus purses his lips in what is clearly a smile like he just knows it’s the teasing and he loves ragnor and their dynamic and i just daouhdsauida also he’s so beautiful boy i die

the way ragnor says “someday, someone will come and will tear down those walls you put around you and around your heart” and magnus looks at him with so much. fucking PAIN in his eyes because someone did but it got nowhere and in the end alec just kind of acknowledged his walls again and went back to pretending that it never happened and that magnus didn’t progress or open up to it at all, that magnus was just lying, that it’s just a game and dauhdaiudha god he’s so HURT

again i owe harry shum jr my entire life like he might be seriously the best actor i’ve ever seen in any show, he’s so damn expressive and talented in every little motion he’s truly a pearl in the desert of shit that is this show

“even in death, you give the best advice” ugh love how this really cements that magnus is used to opening up to ragnor and even with their bickering there’s so much room for them to be emotionally honest like we stan

anyway sure wish this had any emotional continuity whatsoever but at least the cringefest is over. onto an actual good scene fucking finally

love every little detail about this scene as yall probably already know so i’ll try not to point every single one of them out yet again but who knows if i’ll succeed. i bet that i won’t tbh

love the contrast between alec looking so tense when lydia comes down the aisle and she’s like all smiles and shit

she’s before him and he can barely look at her like his eyes flicker a bit between her and the bouquet and he settles on the bouquet this whole thing is so... wrong so clearly, like i could show it to someone who doesn’t know shit about sh and they would be able to tell that nothing fits

even alec’s clothes are weird, like idk i don’t understand fashion but his look looks so disjointed, like the blazer doesn’t really match the pants, the bowtie looks weird and doesn’t match the buttons, and shit and nothing about him looks like it’s in the right place. and everyone else (except maybe izzy who also looks miserable lmao) looks like a perfect picture and he’s just.... idk there’s this aura of wrongness around him that’s subtle but really well done in the terms of costume and shit. the costume department really went off in this whole scene honestly like we stan. possibly the only ones other than the actors who knew what the fuck they were doing lmao

when lydia smiles at izzy and izzy barely moves up the corner of one of her lips dajdasnjdan she looks even more miserable than alec does and god i love the lightwood siblings so much like i truly do. she’s supporting him because she’s decided she’s not going to keep pushing him when it only leads to him not trusting her but she’s all broken that he’s broken, and she was willing to take his place and throw her life away even when that’s everything she’s always tried to avoid, just so he wouldn’t have to do this, and aaaaa

who cares about jace and clary looking at each other @directing team like seriously get over this

he turns in the direction of the silent brother in an almost kind of jerking motion like he completely forgot about where he was supposed to go or something, like again he’s just... not in it

they are holding hands in the WEIRDEST possible way too like there’s so much distance between them it’s almost funny ldaojsja

he tries to smile at lydia when she’s about to put the rune on his arm like he knows she knows that he’s hating this and he’s just bearing it and trying to not make her uncomfortable? like doajdsaoj

the way that magnus INTERRUPTS not just the wedding but also the chorus, you could tell there was a crescendo coming even if you’ve never heard the song, but magnus pushes the doors open and suddenly it stops and there’s this little bit and then the “tututututu” of tension as he comes into view and his steps perfectly match the three little beats that were already there before, but sound so much louder and more prominent like a heartbeat, like before they were muffled and now they’re real??? the poetic cinema bro

ill just never get over the way they used song here it sounds like an AMV like the song isn’t just giving the vibe, they are telling the story THROUGH the song and the whole scene is basically a coreography, and the song is the narrative, and holy shit i love it so much could you imagine if they had used this amount of thought and genius and clever storytelling the whole show?? i’d shit myself

ugh the DRAMA of magnus’ look again i KNOW i’ve been over this again and again and again and again and again and again but i just. i love how they used his makeup & costume to accentuate magnus’ 1- face, 2- eyes, 3- jaw, and 4- adam’s apple. the whole focus is on his face and eyes (which again so expressive we stan harry shum jr in this house), the fact that his eyes are his WARLOCK MARK (yeah they’re not out but like we’re still drawing attention to the part of magnus he tries to hide the most, and the part of him that marks what makes him disdainful to shadowhunters), the fact that his jaw and adam’s apple are so prominent. his whole face looks really sharp and masculine you know?? like the whole focus is on everything about him that’s supposed to be “wrong” and make malec “wrong” but he’s never looked more beautiful (IT’S SUCH AN UNDERRATED LOOK) and they didn’t sacrifice his gnc-ness for it either, on the contrary, they gave his hair the hot pink streak which. INSPIRED WE STAN, and the makeup is very clear (again esp around his eyes) which of course only adds to it because he’s not just a man, he’s a gnc man and that makes it “worse”, but also like, i like how they accentuated his masculinity in alec’s coming out scene, without sacrificing his identity and gender non conformness. again the costume department is the only one who genuinely knew what they were doing 100% of the time i hope they all got big fucking checks

alec just blinks and focuses on him and it’s the first time it looks like he’s really looking at something and i just wow

izzy is so happy to see magnus there :) she loves her brother so much :)

magnus holding up two fingers to get people to shut up... the way he snarls “maryse, this is between me and your son” with so much certainty and like no room for bullshit he’s so good at making shadowhunters too speechless to stop him and honestly im such a whore tbh if he did this to me id just nut on the spot. shut me up daddy. fuck who said that

like how they included the “i’ll leave if he asks me to” and how he really doesn’t say anything, he’s just standing there, like they made sure to make this scene respectful and i was kind of dreading it the first time because i’d HATE it if magnus had outed him or made this whole drama out of it but he didn’t and i like that so so much

“i thought we were doing the right thing, but... this isn’t it” always gets me and i can’t even put my finger on why. it just does like again this is not really about magnus or their relationship, it’s about how he feels about the whole thing, everything that he’s giving up and he barely knows what for anymore, and i justjfianfajf

again the BRILLIANCE of the song usage the way that he’s talking to lydia and the beat is so damn loud and overwhelming and then as soon as he turns to magnus everything just drowns out and there is one (1) piano note and it’s just him and magnus and it’s like everything silences??? he’s just so damn focused and it’s not the nervousness and loudness of everyone else and their whole audience (they don’t even show the audience anymore after alec turns to him for real and before the actual kiss i don’t think) and there’s just that sharp focus and certainty because alec’s made up his mind and there’s no sound anymore like mwaaahhh poetic cinEMA

and it’s just that moment of clarity as they both look at each other and the song begins again with the higher tempo again, but it feels more like, a march? than that overwhelming noise. and of course there’s the singing and it feels like everything has purpose and is just laser focused and it’s still intense but in a completely opposite way, not lost but found and wow im such a whORE for this scene it’s unbelievable

like how alec takes the first step towards magnus after he’s down the stairs exactly as the song goes “want” like mwaahhhhh brilliance amazing talented showstopping spectacular never been done before completely unique,

his “enough” is dajksdfahidasdhadusahuash again im a simple sub id nut

i was right they only really show the audience again after the kiss. except for maryse but even then it’s so quick, we see her going to alec and after alec says “enough” she literally doesn’t show anymore it’s like she’s not even there, she just disappears it’s so sexy we stan??? like again alec’s made up his mind and nothing else is there to stop him wow love that for him could you imagine thinking this man is shy and insecure? can’t relate

THEY ARE SKIGGNISNGG

FOREVER A WHORE FOR THE WAY MAGNUS CHASES AFTER HIM HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THE WAY HE’S SO LOST IN THE KISS, IN THE ELATION, AND HE JUST CAN’T HELP GOING FOR MORE BEFORE HE CAN STOP HIMSELF AND KEEP UP WITH HIS TIGHT COMPOSTURE (because magnus had barely moved once alec had seen him, he just stood there and waited like he was waiting for his cue, he was holding himself perfectly steadily and just had so many walls) LIKE HE JUST CAN’T HELP BUT WANT?? AND GO FOR MORE?? AND THEN HE REALIZES ALEC IS PULLING AWAY AND HE LOOKS AT HIM FOR A SECOND (and his eyes look so DIFFERENT, not like there’s a wall there, he looks relieved and happy and even kind of dazed and i just wow the difference is SO clear) AND ALEC LOOKS AT HIM AND HE TAKES JUST A FRACTION OF A SECOND BEFORE HE LEANS IN AGAIN, AND IT’S THE FIRST TIME THAT MAGNUS HAS ASKED FOR MORE AND ALEC’S GIVEN IT, BECAUSE ALEC HAS BEEN GIVING HIM SOME OPENINGS BUT EVERY TIME MAGNUS WANTED MORE HE TURNED AWAY, BUT THIS TIME HE FUCKING GIVES MAGNUS WHAT HE’S SILENTLY ASKING FOR, HE’S CHOOSING HIM FULLY AND NOT JUST ENOUGH FOR THEM TO BE ABLE TO BE TOGETHER, HE’S CHOOSING TO GO ALL IN AND KISS MAGNUS UNTIL HE’S SATISFIED AND HOLY SHIT THE POETIC CINEMA!! THE TALENT!!! THE BRILLIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SHADOWHUNTERS CREW FOR PUTTING UP YOUR FIVE TOTAL BRAINCELLS TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS FANTASTIC THING HAPPEN HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS SCENE IS EVERYTHING TO ME 

a bitch needs to lie down i think that’s all for today

next part

[dissociatedabyss]

therapy felt intense..like i was holding back someone else’s tears the whole time, but it was good. 

i just wanna talk about it but its long so

we did the conference room exercise for the second time, the first time i got too overwhelmed/dissociated, but this time was very interesting. we’ve tried before to visualize things or construct parts of an inner world but it never seemed to stick. i think doing it alone allowed our skeptical part too much space to talk shit. so the three adult parts met, and after slight bickering agreed to sit at the table (i’ve said before that our chatter reminds me of my siblings and i, just constant back and forth for no reason). the therapist asked us to voice any concerns or questions we have about starting the process of doing emdr on this memory. vixen voiced concern about having never done any containment exercises in the past when we tried emdr with the memory. it was a shit show i mean both my last therapist and i did NOT know what we were getting into- he never did any dissociation screening prior to starting. we ended up flooded with flashbacks of things we’ve never remembered and just really unstable. it definitely impacted work and we cannot allow it to impact school right now. that’s why we haven’t wanted to address it yet. 

but anyways, at some point she asked what other parts needed to be present to talk about the containment stuff. lilly is a five year old part who showed up during emdr last time and really began to steal the show most sessions, with things that most of us do not know about. cue the chaos. so she came in, and sat down and the therapist started talking to her and suddenly she disappeared? so i said that and T asked if any of us could go get her, so obsidian went down the hall? after her like it was just appearing idk but i guess lilly felt like she was in trouble (of course thats like her defining feature). soooo T explained that she wasn’t and she came back to the table and sat with obsidian. T then started to basically help us create a playground for her. and as soon as she even said playground lilly started filling our mind with everything she would want. monkey bars, the slider bar thing, gymnast bars, a tire swing, big slides, and on and on. and then T mentioned making a little indoor place for her to rest, and our mind went to the playground from our church. oof. cue chaos again. but we explained the little cabin playhouse it had and so we used that idea, i dont know if that was smart though because now its hard to not think of the church’s playground. we have problems with that church so that is not a good location. we didn’t realize that at the time but lilly decided what she wanted in there. and then she created a blue and purple treasure chest where she can lock up her memories for when we can deal with them. 

when we finished that and lilly was happy with her new little place, one of us just sort of laughed and T asked what and we explained that we’ve always read about people having inner worlds and how to create them but it just never worked for us and we couldn’t understand how parts can actually stay in their sections of this inner world they created- but this experience had just changed my view obviously. i mean when she asked what the treasure chest looked like, i went to open my mouth and she was like “let lilly help you” and so i stopped and did and of course she chose different colors that she would like. i was gonna say brown! and i think thats why it hasnt been helpful in the past, we weren’t letting parts help lol we were just thinking of what we thought they would want and then would be like “go there” lmao

we feel hopeful and that’s strange for us. i hope the containment tricks work, vixen also questioned how it’s possible to work on one memory only and be sure other things won’t come up, and T explained that when parts know that they’re going to get their turn to be listened to, and have a way of putting away the memory and feel safe it can help them not intrude with the memories so much at least. makes sense. im sure we knew this in an academic sense. 

the last question was.. how do you do emdr over telehealth? lol either we can buy our own buzzers (prolly not lol) or just use our hands to tap our shoulders or knees... much different than when we used the light bar. but we will see how it goes. it appears we are more on board about it now. probably do need to involve scarlett and willow bc their emotions are wild and i know during our last round of therapy they were feeling it hard but i dont think it was related to this event and person, but to family things. i guess we’ll have to check with them next week, or i can try on my own without T...hmmmm

-mostly sin